Recently I experienced a delicious breakfast date with myself. I was feeling so complete in my own company. My husband and I were enjoying some time near a beach at a resort in Fiji and that morning I was not ready to eat before he set off for an early game of golf. I decided that eating later would suit me better.
It was lovely and confirming to feel the security, presence and confidence I had around being on my own but not feeling at all lonely. I had an enormous appreciation for how content I felt – and now feel – in myself.
An honouring morning:
- I lay in bed enjoying just being with me until I felt it was time for me to get up – without feeling the need to go into any form of overdrive
- I did what I wanted to do and honoured how I felt. I enjoyed time on the verandah working on my computer and drinking herbal tea
- Mid-morning when I started to feel hungry, I decided to get dressed in a beautiful dress. I did my hair in a way I wanted to wear it, rather than in the most pristine way to look my best; I went for comfort and how I felt and this was empowering in itself
- I walked to the restaurant feeling glorious and excited that I was having some quality time on my own, that I could Be as I am, even in a restaurant full of people
- I waited patiently in line to be served and escorted to my table for one. This was also empowering and lovely to feel how comfortable I felt to walk through the restaurant to my table
- I was escorted to what I think is the best table in the restaurant on the most perfect morning. The table was positioned at the edge of the restaurant, away from the hustle and bustle of people rushing to get their breakfast plate topped up and it was closest to the beautiful scenery of the beach
- I felt blessed and lucky and so appreciative.
My breakfast dining experience – breakfast was great! I ordered an egg white omelette with tomato and had some stir fry cabbage on the side with a little pawpaw and a pot of peppermint tea.
I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness.
Each bite of food felt like a warm, soft, delicious kiss and I allowed myself to feel how tenderly I can eat, place food in my mouth and pour and drink my tea. I gave myself space between my bites and savoured the flavour of the food.
Looking back to a similar experience eight years ago, I would have felt:
- uncomfortable to be on my own
- self-conscious about others looking at me
- lonely
- too worried about the situation to even enjoy me
- not connected with myself or
- a lack of presence or tenderness during my dining experience.
That day I felt nothing but my deliciousness and tenderness in expression at a breakfast date with myself. I was completely enjoying my own company, the beautiful scenery and the gift of feeling content with it all.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and the support of the Practitioners and Student Body of Universal Medicine.
By Johanna Smith, Bachelor of Education, Perth WA
Further Reading:
Yearly Holidays – No Longer Taking a Break from Life, but Enjoying Me!
Today I Sat Down – Nurturing Myself as a Woman
The Greatest Love is Within Me
Love it Johanna, and could it be being involved in healthy eating makes all the difference when it come to being sick from colds and flu?
When we approach every life situation as an opportunity to go deeper, we always find ourselves in the way and this is deliciously empowering.
Reading this and reflecting on how I have breakfast it shows that it’s not what your doing but the quality your in that makes all the difference.
When and what to eat comes with an energy that can be filled with our dedication to re-connect to our Soul and when we have listened, we are able to enjoy the most exquisite cuisine and the company can play a part but is not imperative.
Confidence in knowing and feeling the essence of who you are is to be aware of an inner stillness.
Once our reconnection is made to our essence, to our innermost heart, there is such a beautiful sense of loveliness within ourselves, it is so enjoyable and not dictated to by the circumstances around us.
“I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness.” When we stay present in all we do it transforms any interaction, whether we are alone or with others.
How often do we take the care, love and support for ourselves that we may do if others were with us – as for example in eating out alone? I used to feel ‘less than’ when eating alone, but nowadays I enjoy the experience – being with me in my fullness.
Letting go of what we think other people will think is the freedom to be ourselves.
Lovely to read of your delicious breakfast date with yourself, ‘That day I felt nothing but my deliciousness and tenderness in expression at a breakfast date with myself. I was completely enjoying my own company, the beautiful scenery and the gift of feeling content with it all.’
I LOVE dates with myself, I actually find myself amazing company – and I think it’s a great way to begin to appreciate yourself and discover who you really are.
It does feel totally amazing when we really do what we feel like doing, and what our body is feeling like doing: when we’re living in sync with our bodies, there is a natural ease and flow to life and we feel vital and alive.
The more you enjoy being in your own presence the more of that joy you bring to others.
Gorgeous Joshua – and so true.
I can easily relate to how the idea of eating alone would have felt to you ‘eight years ago’ as this is exactly how I would have felt. I could even feel the old uncomfortableness when I considered the idea. So, it appears that what has unfolded for you over this time has made such a huge difference in the way you live, so you can now dine alone and still have a most delicious experience, both figuratively and literally.
Thank you for sharing the deliciousness of being in your own company.
I so loved reading this again, so confirming of the gorgeousness of being in love with our amazing being, so complete in itself. I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness.
Loving ourselves, dating ourselves, let’s face it self-love is an amazing foundation for our lives
So gorgeous to read Johanna, I can feel in my own body how beautiful it is being fully in our own company and enjoying every moment and every movement. Complete with no need for anything else.
Yes, it was gorgeous to read, and inspiring too, ‘I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness.’
We do tend to have this self-consciousness about eating alone and feeling awkward, but when we are fully content to be with ourselves without having to be anything for anyone else, then it’s easy to sit in public and enjoy a great meal and some time to ourselves.
I was recently part of a conversation with a group of women where we discussed contentment and are we able to just be and not go into raciness, trying to fix things, trying to be everything etc or can we just be. It was a really interesting conversation and made me more aware of how I am in those moments when I don’t need to be or do anything- I find that at these times I feel unsettled and look for constant stimulation.
I can relate to this and how I have a tendency to keep myself busy and not appreciate spending time just with me.
I love being by myself in that quiet and content space where I need nothing and no one else
Breakfast today at the Tropical Beach Resort in Hoi An was amazing and as one does getting to connect and be play-full with the resort staff was a normal part of the two hour breakfast. The way we share our love and hugs with each other deepens each year.
How often do you appreciate the deliciousness and exquisiteness of simply being with ourselves? There alone is a never-ending world of wonder to explore.
I love how you write this Carola, it makes me think of almost like a never-ending well of possibility inside me that I could explore at any moment in time.
Appreciation of ourselves is always important, appreciating the deliciousness and exquisiteness of simply being with ourselves takes appreciation to a whole new level.
As adults we could see this as a momentous occasion to be fully connected and loving how delicious it feels not needing anything. As children this is normal in every moment. How important is it then for all us to have and design our systems to support connection. Imagine walking into that restaurant and it is designed in every way to support you to connect …
Going out to eat on my own always used to put me slightly on edge – what if other people noticed, and should I feel embarrassed or ashamed I didn’t have company? But I found my favourite thing to do is to take myself out with my textbooks and computer for a cup of tea at a local coffee shop and sit and study and be with myself but with people as well, striking up conversation and just being at ease
This was a good reminder to do this as I haven’t ‘taken myself on a date’ in a while. I do enjoy times where I go and do things by myself and just enjoy my own company.
When you are at one with who you are you are never lonely because you can feel the essence of love in everyone.
Sometimes my body speaks loud and clear and is telling me it wants something different from our scheduled plan. Formerly I would more than likely stick to the plan so as not to upset my friends or the smooth running of the day but when I do choose to honour my body I am amazed at how everything just works out so well for everyone.
I love these days , the joy of just being you.
A date with yourself celebrating in full the joy of being you – beautiful sharing Johanna thankyou.
I once had a beautiful dinner date with myself, I ordered all the things I liked and tasted and appreciated each mouthful like never before with absolutely no distractions. I had been going to a gathering when I realised that I was far too early andd had time for a meal, I could have been self conscious about eating alone, but no I chose to thoroughly enjoy each bite and be completely with myself.
Self-dating – I think it should become a thing! Remember when we were teenagers and how excited we were about our first date? It was such a big deal and for me and many of my friends it was a massive moment in our development – now imagine that much importance placed on going on a date with ourselves – by the time we came to date someone else we’d be so in love with who we are there would be no room for self doubt or insecurity, we’d simply know that it was a great opportunity for both of us.
I really enjoy little dinner dates or breakfast dates with myself. Setting the table just right, lighting a candle and sitting down connecting with my food and my little vase of flowers is a beautiful way to be and to check in with how I am feeling. It’s a moment of repose in my day and I simply love it.
Beautiful it is to read this again Johanna and be reminded of that ultimate date of our lifetime is the one with ourselves first.
When we invest in our relationship with ourself then we have no need for others to confirm us and thus can truly enjoy our own company.
Whenever we choose to be with ourselves, in whatever environment, we will be rewarded with the gift of our own presence.
What a beautiful way of loving, honouring and appreciating yourself Johanna, when we are connected to our stillness and joy, we are complete nothing more is needed, for we have the all, so simple and divine.
What a gorgeous turn around from the uncomfortable, self conscious and anxious to being settled, content and appreciative of your own company and the inner joy which this brings. I notice in your description, the tenderness and the grace of all your movements and the care in your choices as part of your expression. Exquisite.
How we complicate our lives is up to us and when the love of who we are is partly or should I say wholly our Livingness then life flows.
Wow Johanna I feel I have been on the date with you, you describe the experience with such tender loving care! I too have felt this contentedness, and even welcome people looking at me now. It is not how I always feel but I do know that feeling and I most certainly did not have that even 5 years ago. I only know this down to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and his sharing of how he lives in a way that he feels total complete joy in every moment.
The beauty and amazingness you felt while enjoying your own time with you is infectious. Thank you for sharing Johanna as it highlights how being connected to our bodies in full reflects such joy and harmony in our every movement forward. Awesome.
It is beautiful how when you are truly connected with yourself how exquisite these simple moments can be.
What a beautiful experience you share here so lovingly being with your self honouring yourself and appreciating everything that comes from this in your day. It is a real inspiration and something we can all do and shows the difference we can make to our lives and how we feel ,the reflection to others to do the same and the joy and contentment this allows . And it starts from the moment of connection and honouring of all we feel and are.
So Gorgeous Johanna; I love how you felt tenderness, blessed and appreciative of the way you honoured yourself. A beautiful lesson for us all.
I love this blog Johanna; such a confirmation and appreciation to be present in every detail when taking yourself out for a date.
‘I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness’. Bringing attention to how we sit to eat and how we eat ( do we stay consciously present or do we check out) is supper supportive to not overeat or to eat in a rush.
“I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness.” beautifully expressed Johanna. When we are present and connected we can feel at home wherever we are and with whomever we are with, be that someone or no-one.
I am beginning to explore the feeling of joy that is felt when I live my life from my deepest essence. There is nothing like it any where else in the world, and it is completely up to me to choose it.
Johanna I could imagine how it felt for you in your very descriptive sharing.
Thank you for the confirmation of the Love we all have for ourselves that we don’t often truly appreciate! Beautiful, thank you.
How very gorgeous Johanna; I look forward to taking myself on a date, appreciating and celebrating the tender loving woman I am.
Way to go Johanna, a truly loving date with ourselves is like a date with the whole world equally.
Paying attention to how we eat is so important. I pay attention to how I am sitting as my posture supports me to be consciously present while eating so that I taste and savour every spoonful, and in so doing enjoying my meal. That said as soon as I drop my presence, I am immediately in my old pattern of shoving food in my mouth which feels horrible. Presence while eating is key.
Gorgeous to read Johanna, and equally gorgeous when we are so comfortable in our own skin, in other words, we enjoy being with ourselves and appreciating all that we are.
I really love the idea of you having a date with yourself and I can see it all started with how you woke up that morning. Even though I’m not going out this morning, I think I’m going to have a date in with myself for breakfast.
This is delightfully exquisite Johanna, thank you for sharing and inspiring us.
Thank you Johanna. A beautiful confirmation of the ‘before and after’ experience of the way we connect and cherish ourselves when we embody the teachings and presentations of self-nurturing presented by Universal Medicine.
What a confirming blog to re-read Johanna. I now love taking myself out on lunch dates. It can form part of my self care for that day. No more do I consider time on my own a waste or frivolous simply because I am not ‘working’. It is much needed as part of my daily rhythm. I like how you even paid attention to how you ate. Its all in the detail and I am discovering that the way I do every little thing matters.
A gorgeous reminder Johanna of the importance of spending precious time with ourselves, I often eat alone as I travel for work frequently your blog has inspired me to enjoy and confirm my connection and quality the next time I eat out again.
Thank you Johanna, how beautiful to read such a loving breakfast with the gorgeous you. To be comfortable and loving in one’s own skin without any neediness at all is a joy and a delight.
Thanks Jill. It does feel delicious. Something I am learning now to be with more and more is this lovely feeling of me fully while in a group of people I am engaging with. I am finding there is always a deeper level and more learning to be had.
Taking time to nurture ourselves is so important. It is time to recharge our batteries and also to reassess how we are living and what may or may not be supporting us in our lives.
I have started to have honouring mornings and they make so much of a difference, I still get what I need to get done, but having honoured and appreciated, I have noticed how more deeper I can go into my connection with self.
Sounded like a wonderful experience Johanna, it’s so amazing to feel so comfortable in ones own company because we are the one person we can’t get away from even if we try and how can we ever feel totally comfortable with another if we aren’t with ourselves. I had an amazing dinner on my own a number of years ago at a Thai restaurant, I was early for an engagement so I thought I’d have a meal and stumbled across this restaurant that had enough on the menu that I could eat. The meal was out of this world and without the distraction of conversation or other customers( as there weren’t any as it was early for dinner, )I was able to put all my attention into savouring each mouth full of this exquisite meal.
I feel as if I have just shared a beautiful breakfast with you Johanna; it felt so spacious and so natural, a far cry from meals I had on my own in the past. I haven’t eaten out on my own for a very long time, but now I am actually looking forward to the experience, which I know will be very different from any other in the past.
Your blog shows the momentum that is possible when we begin to honour how we feel and start to live it.
Great reminder to sit and appreciate how far we have come, and to be able to enjoy being with the self in this appreciation, is a beautiful confirmation. What I am learning is we do need to stop and appreciated how far we have come from the way we have been living in the past. I know I have come a long way and often I don’t make time to just sit connect and appreciate all this.
This is true Amita. I am finding that the more I am aware of the little things – how I am, how I am eating etc then there is always another level to go deeper with and to feel more. At the moment I am playing with and feeling eating, moving, relating etc with the beauty of me and from the beauty of me.
This is gorgeous to read Johanna to bring this level of appreciation and quality to all of our movements in life is a beautiful confirmation of our true worth.
With one in 10 Australians now taking medication for depression, it is good to be able to read of someone actually enjoying their own company… It sounds so simple, and yet is incredibly elusive for so many people
Appreciating and confirming who we are is very powerful, it gives us the awareness of our foundation, where we stand and where to go from here, as life is a constant movement towards being our true selves.
Simple words, taking responsibility, but the depth and breadth of this awareness, if embraced, is multi-dimensional, and reconfigures ones very existence.
There is quite a stigma in society about doing things alone in public. I know I used to be very uncomfortable with it when I was a lot younger thinking it was a sign that I didn’t have any friends or feeling that I would stand out as the odd one out. When i look back I think the root of that discomfort came from a lack of acceptance of myself and a feeling of low self-worth, and therefore I was using my friends to give me a sense of belonging and worth. I now don’t need to do that because through Universal Medicine the acceptance I feel for myself is growing and the investment I had to fulfil a neediness with my friendships is no longer there.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience of joyfully breakfasting alone. You can feel in your words how much of a delicious morning it was for you, which is a great inspiration to others, including myself, to cherish ourselves in every moment, albeit with company or on our own. Sometimes when I am on my own I feel the need to be doing something productive as I can get a feeling of loneliness and sadness. But that happens a lot less now as I start to feel the joyfulness just for being me and carry our my routines in accordance to what is right for my body and soul.
Beautiful Johanna – such a simple way of celebrating how amazing you are – an experience of your fullness just by making the space for it. It also exposes how unloving we can all be with our meals – rush them, eat standing up, eat on the run, go with a quick easy ‘fix’ instead of feeling into what the body is asking for. We can all make this choice to lovingly support ourselves each day with our meals, thank you for sharing.
I have enjoyed being alone before, yet I know there are places I didn’t want to go without my partner and there were times I felt very insecure to be without a group of some kind to naturally be with. There is also a strong convention that we feel is expected of us when we are holidaying with a partner or just living with a partner, that we do certain things together. So when we step out of this, we can feel the pressure of what we think we were supposed to do.
These days I don’t feel alone at all. There is such joy in just being, I feel my heart light and laughing and this leaves no room for worrying about conventions or beliefs about couples.
I loved reading about your lovely breakfast Johanna. It felt very beautiful celebrating you and it felt like it was celebrating and honouring all of us.
It is great to really appreciate ourself, and enjoy the time we got for ourself from that appreciation.
How often do we take a moment to stop and spend some time and enjoy being with ourselves? Johanna your blog is a great reminder that we can do this anytime, and how much our day can change by taking a few precious moments for ourselves
I love how you were appreciating the details of every movement you made in your connection – which left no room for distraction from outside. Very inspiring as I am learning to deepen my presence in movement. Thank you, Johanna.
A joy to read this morning Johanna – the simplicity of just going with the gentle natural flow of the body, feeling and appreciating every moment. It heightens that inner awareness and sensitivity to feel more deeply. Gorgeous.
A confirmation Joanna; the best seat in the house is always reserved for those in appreciation as it spreads the loveliness.
Johanna this blog really is delicious and a great reminder to us all that the simplest things in life can be deeply appreciated when we are truly connected to our essence.
How gorgeously expressed Carola – ‘As when we are truly full of ourselves, connected to the fullness of our love within, our divinity and oneness with God, we can never feel or be lonely as there is nothing missing’. In your words you express such a fullness and deep inner beauty that can only come from a connection and unfolding relationship with God and with all other divine beings. It is so amazingly simple to be the Son of God when we let go of all preconceptions and just allow ourselves to be at one with God and with ourselves, and to allow this intimate relationship to unfold.
‘It was lovely and confirming to feel the security, presence and confidence I had around being on my own but not feeling at all lonely.’ – this is so powerful to claim Johanna, thank you for sharing this. As when we are truly full of ourselves, connected to the fullness of our love within, our divinity and oneness with God, we can never feel or be lonely as there is nothing missing.
It is gorgeous to see one of the ways the immense inspiration which Universal Medicine offers us play out in someone’s life. How you would have experienced the same breakfast years before compared to now is a testament to the true power of this inspiration… which you beautifully now share through your words blessing all who read it.
Johanne, it is amazing how much I really love spending time with myself. I am often surrounded by people all the time as I work in hospitality, so I really Cherish the moments I have alone with me. I enjoy the moments as I connect with myself whilst I am getting on with my day.
Beautiful to read Johanna Smith, when we are full of ourselves and are in the appreciation of that, life is so beautiful and continuously confirming the glory we are.
I could feel the stillness in motion. I know this feeling. There is something unforgettable about these moments. There is no tension in the body, no fights with the world. There is a very high level of awareness. Pure joy.
I enjoyed the simple message here that when we become very present and appreciative of ourselves, other things occur in our lives which support us to be this way. It is as if life is speaking to us and confirming our choices to be more present and aware.
Being able to appreciate one so fully is a beautiful feeling to behold, thank you for sharing this new marker for you Johanna, lovely to feel this and also review how I used to dine on my own to how it is now, sitting and being with me. The difference is chalk and cheese.
It is lovely to have the time to appreciate your own company. I find I love wandering on my own and enjoy feeling the joy of just feeling all there is to feel about me and where I am without worrying about entertaining another. It is also affirming to consider your own needs without synchronising with your partner all the time. It’s lovely to have the agreement between you that this is OK.
Being able to truly be with myself and feel totally comfotable with my own company is now something I almost take for granted. It has not always been like that, I used to be forever seeking company or lots of other things for stimulation. It’s so liberating not being like this all the time..
Absolutely Kevin, I can relate to this. Most of my relationships were based on a need until I started to work on myself which allowed me to appreciate being alone without having to look on the outside. It is an amazing feeling.
The key to feeling full in yourself is never just how nourishing the food is in a meal say at breakfast but the true Love and quality that goes into it in every way. This feels like a huge beautiful hug and something we carry as we go back into the world
Thank you Johanna, I love the way you have described your date with yourself, indeed it is supper cool to be able to enjoy your own company and bring that level of attention to detail to it, that’s great way to celebrate you.
I had never thought of having a date with myself Johanna but the way you have lovingly described your morning felt so gorgeous and confirming. I have eaten out quite a lot on my own over the years and I have always felt a bit awkward but I loved the way you claimed you and honoured everything about you in each moment, how you moved sat and ate and the appreciation and joy you felt from this.
Appreciating ourselves for what we are and spending quality time with ourselves is so supportive – and something everyone should learn from childhood on.
This is beautiful Johanna and and so lovely to feel the real appreciation and love of yourself for yourself and hence for everyone. If only everyone felt like this the neediness and games of relationships would change into those of pure love and honouring of each other as the norm. What a different way the world would be. It is from the inspiration and reflection of Serge Benhayon his family and Universal medicine that we can truly see this as a way of being and it is joyfully infectious.
Johanna your joy and fullness emanates from the page as you describe this awesome breakfast date with you. How wonderful to exude that level of confidence and presence, a real gift to the world.
This is really gorgeous Johanna, ‘I did what I wanted to do and honoured how I felt’, this is so simple but I have been aware lately that I often do not do this, I often put my family first and do not honour what I feel to do and when and what I feel to eat etc., this weekend I had the whole weekend alone, i felt still and i felt a love and adoration for myself that I don’t usually, it felt wonderful putting myself first and not putting my son and his needs above mine. So it now feels important to work on this.
What you say Rebecca is beautifully inspiring – and yes, likewise I too need to not allow myself to be pulled out by the needs of others. When I am not serving myself I am not serving them either, as they too will value this inspiration.
Holding our selves in love all the time and feeling how special and supportive even the smallest gesture or moment can be if we appreciate it and ourselves – this is the game changer to a really better life.
This is gorgeous Johanna – to be able to have a gorgeous date with yourself in such a tender and loving way, is truly inspiring. I too used to not even go to restaurants or cafe’s on my own for fear of standing out because I was alone, and people would see me eating or looking/ feeling awkward. But now, I would not hesitate to eat alone. I will lovingly sit on my own at home to have a meal, however I do often want to have something to do if I am out on my own, i.e. something to read or to send a message or email from my phone, so thankyou for your inspiring breakfast date with yourself.
This is a gorgeous sharing, thank you Johanna. I also love the way that we can see this as a date with ourselves, truly enjoying every moment with ourselves and so appreciative and loving of our own company wherever we are.
What I really appreciated in this blog was your appreciation for life and for me this brings up a big theme for life in general. Your blog is full of joy, appreciation and tenderness for yourself which is awesome to read and to truly appreciate this in another feels wonderful. I can feel I connect with more of me, more of love, when I appreciate another and see the love and light in them also. Appreciation is where it’s at, thank you for sharing.
It is so easy to pick up my phone or sit in front of the computer during a meal. It feels horrible though. The whole time I can feel a sense of disregarding myself. Once I turn off the phone or computer, I always feel a sense of relief. Eating in presence with myself feels infinitely lovelier.
To know ourselves, is essential, and part of this knowing is to feel the true connection with ourselves, which is there are both in stillness and in action. It is this understanding of ourselves that enables us to bring who we truly are to the world
This is such a good blog that really makes me stop and reflect how much do I really appreciate myself and how do I celebrate this. Simply going through the motions day by day has in the past been just that. But coming to a deepenr my relationship with myself I have realised that my day can be sooooo much more than this. Not by making any major changes but by having a deeper relationship with myself in all that I do. This simply means taking the time to stop, connect and be me in all that I do. Which has been revelatory. But what I can see is I need to take more time to really appreciate this as this was so not my normal and to be dedicated to being me is worth a dinner date or breakfast date or what ever it maybe – a bunch of flowers!
It is interesting, Johanna. I am in a similar situation in the monent and I observe that I am also much more selfconfident now in the world than I was 5 years ago. Universal Medicine courses have supported me a lot in building more confidence being in the world.
I agree Kerstin. I am also far more confident being out in the world than I was before I attended any presentations or workshops from Universal Medicine. Learning to really know and appreciate myself is a result of being inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and I am eternally grateful for that.
I have a breakfast date with myself every morning. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day and it doesn’t matter what time I have to leave home I allow an hour and a half to have my breakfast, shower and prepare for my day so I can take my time without rushing or stress. Of course for a change I really enjoy going out for breakfast with a friend.
I recently chose to have a date with me, with just a focus to feel deeper and give myself freedom to ponder without distraction. This day stands out as a marker as I don’t usually find myself alone, and I’m not in the practice of choosing time for me. I can still feel that honouring and the strength in the decision to Lovingly be in connection with me on that date … Feels glorious in the body and on my next date you have inspired me to do breakfast!
When people ask me if I have a (new) partner, I say that I am dating myself at the moment. When I say these words, it feels absolutely yummy.
I took this with me yesterday when I went out for dinner with my self on my stopover in Bangkok: “I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness.” And it also started how I left my hotel and walked to the restaurant outside on the busy streets, yet as I walked I felt this inner stillness which allowed the outside hussle and bustle to recede. I also was given a beautifully placed table where I felt very comfortable and savouring the meal then served was just like you said, taking my time to connect to each piece of food I ate, fully enjoying this experience, feeling totally at one with my self.
I love this blog Johanna because I can FEEL you in every word and its almost like you took me with you on your hot breakfast date. I love where we sat by the way … oooh and that gorgeous dress.
Great Breakfast too. Most of all I love the s p a c i o u s of the day.
So in a way, the more we honour ourselves and truly enjoy our own company than the more others around us can feel inspired to do the same. DELICIOUS. 🙂 🙂
You are the epitome of gorgeousness and gloriousness Johanna. Your words are always an inspiring delight to read and digest like that magnificent breakfast you speak of. What a joy to the planet you are.
Thank goodness for you!!!
Johanna, it was such a joy to read your blog and I have to agree with one of your comments: “it is so much fun connecting and creaking the preciousness in the smallest of details and moments. Something I will continue to appreciate and unfold for the rest of my life’. This dining with Me is just startinging to unfold and to be appreciated. As a mother, our mealtimes have always been ‘family’ times with lots of people chatting and sharing particularly the evening dinner meal – now that the children have left home, mealtimes have been generally shared with the TV or reading the newspaper! Oh dear, what a lot I have been missing out on – dining with Me brings so much more to the meaning of nurturing and loving yourself – I think I am getting to the point where I prefer to dine with Me and relish all the choices I have made in preparing my meal to sitting in a beautiful environment – all the ingredients for a Delicious Meal Date With Myself.
In your experience of this breakfast that you have shared Joanna, you have brought the inspiration to make this quality of honouring yourself, an everyday experience, even in the midst of a busy week. This is so powerful and I love the possibility of life deepening consistently to this quality and how all I come into contact would benefit from it.
This is an absolutely beautiful and profound sharing Johanna, thank you. The lack of deeply loving connection with ourselves is an epidemic, resulting in so many compromising behaviours in society eg. sex verses making love, people trafficking for the sex industry, cyber bullying, war, greed, corruption, down to the very personal of illness and disease physical and mental. What a world of difference it would be if it were full of self loving therefore openly loving people!
It is so simple- if we enjoy our own company then we are also open to enjoy anothers.
So true Samantha. And we can enjoy our own company doing the simplest of things.
I can feel from your previous experience that the meal itself would also have been rushed. Getting it out of the way so you could leave and not have to feel the awkwardness of being alone. Your new way of being is certainly inspiring to read about and offers a great reflection for us all.
This is such a beautiful sharing with us all Johanna. To start our day honouring ourselves as you did in your gentleness, sets a beautiful example for the rest of the day to follow in that very same rhythm.
I have lived on my own for the past 6 years. At first I struggled and felt a great deal of loneliness, but over time I have learnt to enjoy my own company and really love my time on my own. I am now stepping into sharing a flat with a friend and although I am loving the company and the opportunity for healing through relationship I am aware that I still need my moments on my own to re-connect and honour myself. If I do not have a relationship with myself I cannot offer anything to the relationship with my flatmate or anybody else.
“I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness.” This sentence says it all Johanna, how your breakfast alone was in fact a delicious date with yourself because of your connection to the essence of you.
In the past I would have felt a bit like a complete loser to have to eat on my own, and being a bit self conscious that this was what others were thinking, old Billy no mates eating alone in the corner. This did remind me though of a meal I had years ago when I went to meet some people in town and ended up by being way to early so I thought I would have something to eat. I ended up in a Thai restaurant and had the most exquisite meal ever. With no distractions from conversation I really engaged in each delicious mouthful and without knowing what I was doing it was probably the very first time I had experienced conscious presents.
Thank you Johanna. This blog is a beautiful confirmation of how developing a relationship with ourselves brings a fulfilment and presence that is deeply nurturing and joy-full. Simply beautiful to read and feel 🙂
I just love this Johanna – “It was lovely and confirming to feel the security, presence and confidence I had around being on my own but not feeling at all lonely. I had an enormous appreciation for how content I felt – and now feel – in myself.” I am also feeling content within myself, when I am on my own, and am working on feeling this contentment too when I go out on my own for a meal or breakfast as well.
I really loved your blog Johanna, as it made me appreciate how making the time to spend time with ourselves is such a beautiful, honouring and loving thing to do. Often when we have a relationship or children or even when we don’t we can get caught in feelings of loneliness or caught up being too busy to truly appreciate these moments. I find I too appreciate taking that time for myself whether it is taking a bath, rising early to work on my computer, taking time to have a tea or just simply enjoying a moment in nature. It is a beautiful way to confirm and appreciate who you are and feels like the most loving and nurturing way to be with yourself.
To read this celebration and enjoyment of your own beauty is simply gorgeous Johanna, and is very inspiring to appreciate me in this way too.
Your grace shines through your words Johanna, thank you for sharing. I have been needy in relationships and this huge momentum is slowly changing, it was delightful to read your experience and equally as inspiring – from a place of knowing we are all we ever need in any one moment.
Johanna, I can very much relate to the two sceneries. One where you felt awkward sitting alone in a restaurant in the past, I certainly know that one and the other that you are describing here – how inspiring to honour and appreciate yourself so much!
This reminds me of many business trips in my past and eating alone – feeling alone with the need for distraction from feeling this, by busily reading a newspaper or hurriedly eating my meal and leaving. Since having been afforded the opportunity through the presentations by Universal Medicine of knowing who I truly am, I no longer feel alone, ever and yes it is so amazing within this knowing to share a meal for one.
What a beautiful thing to do! To go out on your own and love every second of it. This blog is such an inspiration. Thank you Johanna
This is a beautiful inspiration, thank you Johanna for sharing this experience so lovingly bringing a deep appreciation of oneself. Since reading it I have really sat down to meals with myself in a different more appreciative loving way. This feels so expansive honouring and a deep joy inside simply being with myself and others who are with me also at any time.
This whole blog is delicious Johanna, from the laying in bed enjoying time with you to herbal tea on the verandah, a beautiful dress and honouring hairdo and a deliciously nourishing restaurant experience. How special to treat yourself in such an honouring way. Even if the sun wasn’t shining that day you feel like a ray of sunshine for anyone who was in your presence.
And I might add Johanna, I think your husband missed out on the breakfast of a lifetime. I don’t think he could have had anything more yummy than you and your exquisite beauty.
What a great sharing, a wonderful feeling re-discovered, a very practical and profound change in your life. It feels like that is what everyone can feel or I have felt when I am connected. No misery, no worries, no struggle. Fulness and joy. Thank you for reminding us that life can be that way.
Yesterday I was on my own in a hotel and had breakfast. I started a bit uncertain. Everyone in the breakfast room was with someone there: Spouses, a craftsmen group and a little family. And I was alone. “Where to sit down? Talk with people or not?” – did go through my mind..and so on. Then I remembered your article Johanna and just claimed myself. I felt my body, my inner heart and everything went clear. I felt my strength and beauty again. That was lovely and I took this into my day.
Beautiful Sandra, It shows how much we all inspire each other, not only by a blog, but whatever we do. I get inspired by people every day, in the things they say, how they are, by what they do.
This feels gorgeous, thank you Johanna. A lovely and loving relationship you are having with yourself while on holiday with your husband. Every relationship deserves the spaciousness that is felt in this blog, which brings me to ponder, could space also be what nurtures any deeply loving relationship?
I have just felt this one for myself Adele, and I would answer a definitive yes – somewhat contrary to any preconceived ideas or notions I had about loving relationships. The more space I have within any relationship, the closer to truth and love I am, and I, and they in turn, feel.
Space in a relationship. Very interesting point Adele. The are some very strong and ingrained beliefs around relationships. Needing to be with each other all the time, having to complete each other, feeling like a part of you is gone when they are away. This blog so beautifully shares how a true relationship is first based on the relationship you have with yourself – giving each other the space to be themselves, any thing less than that is a need and instead of giving space creates an imposition, a need for another to be something for you that you are not for doing for yourself.
Johanna this is very inspiring for me to read your words. You have given me an insight into how I can be with myself when I eat my food. I often get into this rushing, eating energy and most of the time I am not with my self as I eat my food quickly. To read how you tenderly fed your self and it feels amazing – this is the next program that I will put myself on. Tenderly eating my food with me program.
I had a breakfast date with two strangers in Brighton a few months ago. The thing is, to me they weren’t strangers, but we didn’t know each other before we entered the cafe. So my breakfast with me turned into a beautiful connection with two lovely ladies. After breakfast, we said goodbye and our lives carried on. It was a very lovely and easy way to be.
Taking yourself to breakfast for a beautiful meal, enjoying your own company gives a great reflection for others, that there is no need to have another to sit at your table. When you are able to feel that love for yourself, people will be queuing to share your table, to share the love that you have.
This is gorgeous Sally and so true.
Dear Johanna – how exquisitely you describe the details of your breakfast date with yourself. It feels truly divine when we are fully aware and open to appreciate ourselves and the beauty that we innately are, and that we can offer this as a reflection and a blessing to the world.
A beautiful sharing Johanna of you enjoying being with you. The ease and beauty of you is reflected in your words and tangible in the reading. Thank you.
I can feel the sweetness and power of the dedication to yourself that morning…not an ounce of indulgence simply an inspiring commitment to be in true relationship with yourself as the foundation for all you do in life. Thank you, Johanna.
In the past I felt uncomfortable going anywhere on my own, hence I spent a lot of time at home alone. When I did venture out and had to go to a cafe, gathering of people or even a party/dinner where I knew people, I would enter and exit as quietly as I could. But as I have grown to know myself on a much deeper level I am enjoying taking myself out into the world, and being with myself is a delight, which opens me to sharing much more of myself when I am with others. I deeply enjoy my aloneness and as I sit more comfortably in and with myself, I no longer have a need to prove my worth to anybody.
I love your description of an honouring morning and delicious breakfast date with yourself – very inspiring!
I felt your attention to detail, love and care you took for yourself. I now know I too can do this, if I choose.
Yes, thank you for sharing the presence and purpose of this whole experience. Your words have captured how spacious our experiences become when there is this intention.
Having those moments to myself are really important to build a strong relationship with who I am. It’s the basis for building truly loving relationships with others.
I like the way you have described being comfortable with yourself and not needing a partner – I have discovered this also during my lunch break when on the odd occasion I have visited a local restaurant and in the past I would feel very uncomfortable about being on my own, as though there was something wrong with me.
Isn’t it interesting how we assume there is something wrong with us when we are doing things on our own, when actually this is a very natural way to be. I have found that by learning to feel comfortable being on my own I am more likely to treasure the moments when I am with other people.
How sweet is that Johanna… I love the detail you have described your morning to yourself in a blog, this confirms to me the focus on all the details you actually had on that day. This has really inspired me to spend time on my own like that as I still get feelings of needing to have someone with me to feel content or safe. So thank you Johanna!
When everyone can enjoy a lovely breakfast (or lunch or dinner) date with themselves, then we will also be able to enjoy sharing it with others in the true way – unimpeded by need, and in the equality of fullness and Be-ing together.
Those moments where I feel so deeply connected to my essence and presence that every action feels like a massage. There is nothing more delicious than being with me.
A delightful snapshot of how each time we choose to connect deeper to ourselves, our experiences can be so full and yummy. And this is always within our power through choice.
The care and attention you set your date up with feels beautiful Johanna. I also used to love having breakfast out with myself although haven’t done it for some time. What is also interesting is how others perceive someone dining alone. I once had a man come up to my table and ask why was a beautiful woman like me dining alone assuming it wasn’t a choice someone would make. I love my own company but also love dining with others.
It is interesting how others perceive someone dining alone. Now in the era of iphones and ipads, people go to cafe’s I think seeking connection, but instead engage themselves in the technology. In the past others might take a paper or book to read but rarely would they sit and have a meal in full presence with themselves as Johanna describes so beautifully.
What I get from your blog Johanna is how the very simple things we do in everyday life can be transformed from a mundane task into a very connecting experience offering gems of wisdom when done with the joy of presence.
There are so many things I do nowadays that I used to consider as burdensome chores but that are now constant and supportive opportunities to develop my relationship with myself and to deepen my awareness of how I am going. Unloading the dishwasher, folding the laundry, cleaning, cooking, filing etc. – all once tasks that had to be done but that were done with as much expedience as possible; got out of the way to make space for the next thing. By observing attentively I now have beautiful markers in my day as to how I am and, with honesty, this has opened up a whole new level of commitment to me, others and life. Thank you, Victoria, Johanna and Universal Medicine.
How deeply honoring of yourself and what an amazing evolution to be completely Joy-full being with you in full, and taking yourself out for breakfast.
We are so conditioned that eating out has to be a social event, thank you Johanna for breaking these imposed and false beliefs we hold.
I love this Johanna. You have turned what some would consider a dread and others something uncomfortable but perhaps at times necessary, into a joyful loving experience. So inspiring.
A great example of the power and enjoyment that is possible when we choose to be present with ourselves and not need anyone or anything else to ‘keep us company’.
I love this blog Johanna – who ever said a date had to be for two? 🙂
I loved reading this Johanna. I often eat alone and I generally enjoy the experience, although being honest – sometimes I do feel self conscious. The care you took with yourself was inspiring and next time I eat alone I’m looking forward to really paying attention to the detail and simply enjoying the moment with myself.
I have found that is joyful moments such as having breakfast alone in complete content that confirm all that has been lived up until the moment .It is clear the different choices that you are now making on a day to day basis compared to before to be able to sit in such clarity confidence, and company! (when actually it would appear you were alone) quite extraordinary really
The beauty and responsibility of having such a relationship with ourselves as a foundation for all we do. Inspiring indeed.
hahah I like that Oliver! Sitting in clarity, confidence and company.
Johanna, you gave yourself permission to have a date with yourself! I love that and will allow the same for myself.
I love this Elizabeth, – the effort, the love and detail that we put into a date with another we can also do this with ourselves. You are right this feels great – what a lovely way to honour and treat ourselves.
The simplicity of honouring how you are truly feeling and being able to appreciate every single little moment you are having with yourself. A truly amazing piece of writing Johanna and the delicateness and sweetness of your soul definitely shines though here. What an amazing world we live in when we live from our inner most out, no need for approval and just living the gloriousness that we innately are.
This is gorgeous Johanna. I love the detail in which you describe the nurturing and self honouring in this exercise.
“A delicious breakfast date with my self” I love it Johanna, thank you for sharing.
This is a beautiful reflection for everyone I love it and it is so honouring to read and feel the love we are inside given the space to be felt and expressed so beautifully. I feel very much inspired to sit with myself and honour a meal for me in stillness and reflection and feel the real beauty joy and expansiveness with this myself and with everything i do.Thank you for sharing this awesome inspiration and grace.
Johanna what stands out is how much you enjoyed and appreciated time with yourself, time being you. It’s made me reflect that many years ago I would avoid any time by myself – the thought of eating alone or just having time alone was enough to send me into a panic. Yet what quality of person was I brining to all the things I did or the breakfasts I had if i didn’t want to be on my own? With the treatments, sessions and healing that is part of my life since Universal Medicine, I now find I actually really enjoy time to myself to reflect and simply be. Rather than avoiding time to myself I start to treasure it and whats great is if I don’t feel comfortable or want this time then I have a great reflection that something about the way I’ve been living is not true or that I am avoiding feeling things.
What you describe makes it clear that I still have a way to go before I could so completely enjoy my own company with all these people around and not be distracted by any thoughts of missing out on something, whatever that might be. It sounds absolutely delicious though, definitely something to look forward to.
Awesome sharing – I have just left school and i am adjusting to not seeing my friends very often, and feeling lonely – i have been feeling the pull to do what you have described – instead of seeking others company, work on enjoying just being with myself, so that when I am with others, its not from a need to not be lonely.
Hi Rebecca! I experienced this too when I left school. I realised how much my ‘identity’ at school was giving me my sense of me. And when I finished I was shocked at the lack of relationship I had developed with myself. It has been a lot of fun bringing self-loving things and learning to love myself again like when I was 3.
This is such a great comment Rebecca – enjoying me being with me. Often when I have been with myself I have felt self loathing for not being good enough to have people around me. Its the belief that if you are alone there is something wrong with you. Now I can choose to cherish myself when I am with me. I look forward to my time being with me, and getting to once again know the quality of god that I bring.
Wow Johanna, I can really feel how gorgeous and claimed you are in your description of your breakfast experience. No drive or need to be anything for anyone else in that moment, feeling complete and full in yourself. So beautiful, and very inspiring.
Loving ourselves in every moment and appreciating each smallest gift we get will make us feel how marvellous and magical all is working out and unfolding without us needing to put effort into it or struggle to achieve something. This is the immensely supportive setting in which we will steadily take new steps to grow and be more of ourselves.
I too can relate to how this has changed for you overtime. I would have once felt very uncomfortable and self conscious about eating out on my own, however now I love it.
Next time I’m obliged to stay away by myself I’ll recall your breakfast date, Johanna, because up to now I’ve always been speed dating – and interrupting myself at the same time. But I also get a huge reflection of how you were living on your holiday – what a foundation on which to build! I’ll take that with me as well and leave behind my inevitable anxiousness as to what to do next and when and how.
Very inspiring Johanna…I can relate to your past experiences although there were also times when I was quite ok sitting in a cafe on my own, however the difference now is that I have a deeper connection to who I am, and the steadiness of this brings an inner confidence.
I also like the way you were not attached to having your partner with you, and felt complete as the woman you are.
Now thats what I call a selfie!
What a joy to start my day reading your beautiful blog Johanna! To read the exact description how you appreciated and enjoyed every detail of you and going to have breakfast with you-very inspirational! To give ourselves the permission to hold this amazing connection and joy with ourselves and to reflect this to others, wow!
These are wonderful dates to have, where you are so relaxed and comfortable with yourself that what ever it is you are doing it is simply gorgeous. I know that years ago I would have played out I was cool going for a meal on my own but the hardness that I would go into to counteract the insecurity was extraordinary. Bit by bit I have connected to my tenderness with the support of Univeral Medicine and the joy of being by myself is getting stronger and stronger.
This is exactly what I have found that goes on for me as well Natalie, when I’m alone the hardness that I pull in is crazy. Saying I’m okay being alone is all part of the act of hardness.
Well exposed Natalie! There is a difference between Hardness, a false confidence ( which is just protection) and feeling vulnerable, and the true self confidence that comes from being with our body.
I remember my travels from long time ago, where I used to read a book (or a travel guide) while eating alone. I could not just be with myself and have dinner. Now that I am living on my own again since some months, I am spending more time on my own and with myself which is beautiful. Reading this blog it inspires me to deepen these moments and for instance, when having dinner, to really take the time, sit at my table, not get distracted and just have dinner. Really being on a date with myself and with that, with god as well.
How beautiful it feels Mariette when we no longer have that need for distraction and instead choose to be with ourselves. I love the way that you express that you are also having a date with god – how awesome when we stop to feel God’s presence in our lives.
I love this Mariette, – a date with God – so very true!
What a beautiful transformation you have made Johanna. It is so confirming to fully enjoy one’s own company, requiring nothing else to feel and be fulfilled.
Johanna, I know the points of the list where you felt uncomfortable with yourself sitting in the restaurant. I never enjoyed this and as such couldn’t enjoy my meals in former days. It is a great confirmation about you being much more you now not having this awkward feeling but enjoying being with you.
I have to add something 🙂 These days I realize how important it is to take time for eating – to prepare the meal lovingly, to honor the delicious food I’m going to eat, to honor the time with me and the people around me. Eating itself can be just a healing session – awesome.
I can relate to This Johanna, about a year ago I went to Bali on my own for a family wedding. I found a lovely place that did amazing gluten and dairy food and I went there on my own at least once a day for a week. With no distractions and the most glorious tasting, very healthy food I was able to appreciate each mouthful like I had never done before. It was great to be able to appreciate food and my own company in such a way.
Along with the delicacy I feel as I read your writing, Johanna, I also get a huge sense of the grace that your date with yourself bestowed on all those around you. Your freedom from the list you gave at the end (a list that most everyone, if honest, can identify with) presents an invitation to choose this for ourselves, and afford ourselves the space to be touched by these qualities in others. Thank you.
Thank you Johanna, for here you speak of the true food of life, our true nourishment, the most effective diet we can choose to be on……connection with our own yumminess! Dine at this table and never feel hungry, always full and complete and able to share true sustenance with all.
What a gorgeous way to celebrate your loveliness Johanna.
I’ve just had the experience of being in a hotel on my own for 4 days, and the predominant feeling was one of overwhelming loneliness. I know the reason for this is I have not developed my relationship with me… and when I feel down about myself I start to cut myself off from those around me. The fact is the doorman was gorgeous, the waitresses who served me, the taxi driver who gave me a lift. People abound and its just a question of my own openness to any given situation that define my experience.
Interesting Simon. When we are by ourself, we really notice how we feel about ourselves. Ive found that when Ive had some time by myself and I come back and see people, I appreciate them more, much like you said how the doorman was gorgeous and so was the Waitress.
When we let go of the ideals and pictures of how things should be, and open ourselves up to enjoying the moment for what it is, what’s not to love? There is greater presence, as well as connection to oneself, everything around us and to God, so we are never alone.
This is gorgeous Johanna. What an inspiration your story is. We can have dates with ourselves every day!
Johanna what just struck me is that in truth say any word could be slotted into the middle of the title ‘ A delicious………with myself’. If we are truly connected to the love that we are then anything and everything has the potential to be delicious.
Hear hear Alexis. This is the gorgeous learning in life that we all receive. When we discover a truth for one area in our life we then have embodied that truth and can actively and consciously apply it to other areas- bit by bit making a whole living one loving and delicious truth.
That’s wonderful Johanna – when we begin to connect within to that ‘delicious truth’ it offers us the beginning of a lifelong relationship that will be forever deepening and unfolding and thereby become grander and forever sustaining us. That moment becomes the unfolding that is everything that we have been seeking for so very long.
Love your blog Johanna, thank you – you have inspired me to bring a whole new level of awareness to how I spend time with me!
I too have felt the absolute fullness of my own company while alone, this blog has reminded me of my responsibility to nurture myself deeply at all times and has inspired me to commit to dating myself first
I love the detail of the complete experience you share here, Johanne: in every moment, you remained in an honouring and an appreciation of yourself: absolutely lovely.
I enjoyed reading your blog Johanna and how your time with yourself was an opportunity to be more loving and honouring of yourself, thanks for the beautiful reminder.
It is remarkable, the transformation that has occurred in how you feel when you sit with yourself for breakfast. Perhaps it appears a small moment to some, but to feel true pleasure and joy in all that you do, is amazing. I can relate to the experience of being content and appreciating your own company and not needing some one or anything else to be happy being yourself, and it is also would not have been the case for me 10 – 15 years go, definitely remarkable. Thank you for sharing.
Mmm, the best breakfasts are always those lived with All our Love and Playfulness! The food is always amazing when we don’t hold back 🙂
I felt that I was there Johanna such a beautiful description of your date with yourself. I was not always comfortable with eating on my own but over the past few years I have found I do occasionally really enjoy just sitting with myself and appreciating my own company . We are never alone when we know we are connected to the love within and all are one.
What an inspiring way to enjoy breakfast and a ‘date with self’!
Johanna, what a glorious blog. I could feel the stillness and the space you created for yourself.
A real ‘before and after’, beautifully exemplifying the difference between a moment lived from a concern for the outside world in how we act compared with the flow and gorgeousness of life felt when we live it from the inside out.
Reading your blog again I can feel how it is your appreciation and love of yourself and your body that enables you to celebrate yourself in the beautiful way you have described. “It was lovely and confirming to feel the security, presence and confidence I had around being on my own but not feeling at all lonely.” You were really enjoying YOU with all of you, and this only comes about with dedication and commitment to building a relationship with ourselves and our bodies. In that way we can develop a relationship with the Divine we truly are.
A beautiful and insightful comment Joan – in particular I loved the phrase ‘In that way we can develop a relationship with the Divine we truly are’ – the way you express this makes Divine seem so simple and natural – which is what it truly is if we have lived a life of commitment and dedication and know ourselves intimately.
Quality time for oneself is really something – so beautiful that you celebrated in full the opportunity for this and chose to share it with us all – a delicious blog.
I am very fortunate in that every two weeks I get a period of time to be on my own. At first I used to not know what to do with myself and would actually feel quite uncomfortable, frustrated, and restless. At first I would blame this on different things happening around me, and then it became clear that in fact this period of time was an opportunity to feel how I had been living during the previous two weeks, when perhaps I had been too distracted to feel what was going on, but now without the distraction I could feel it all. This was very exposing at first, but inspired me to make changes to the way I live so that now I am learning that whether I am alone or with people, very little needs to change in how I care for and feel about myself.
A gorgeous way to start the day, Johanna. It feels so beautiful when we can fully appreciate our own company and amazing when we connect to all the little details of moments spent with ourselves that open us up to our true sensitivity.
It’s so great to read how you now have an appreciation of yourself and the way that you are meaning you don’t feel uncomfortable being alone. Fantastic blog
I love it how you honored yourself on that morning – full of appreciation for yourself and all the people around you. Thanks for sharing Johanna.
Johanna reading your blog I could feel what a delicious experience your breakfast date was. A reminder that we can enjoy being with ourselves doing the simplest of things and how paying attention to how you feel in each moment can keep confirming that wonderful connection to yourself.
This is truly a way to celebrate, this is how many of us only celebrate on birthdays and on Christmas, if at all! And we have the freedom to do this every day.
I like the ‘before and after’ list Johanna! Strong preferences towards the latter one…
I consider it an honour these days to be in my own company!.
That is gorgeous Elizabeth.
I am coming to that conclusion about myself too, after years of not wanting to be seen with me if I could help possibly help it. 🙂
What a gorgeous way to start and then continue the day. Hearing the detail of your self-honouring and self-loving day is inspiring. Yes every little detail really does count.
I love the simplicity and ease with which you flowed through your day Johanna – self loving and full of enjoyment and appreciation of you as you are… so beautiful an offering Johanna…and what a contrast to how many spend their holiday!
Wow so much grace in there. Lovely how you describe it in every detail and it feels really delicious to read your words.
Awesome blog! Johanna’s presence is palpable and this simple yet powerful blog is so beautiful to read. What stood out for me was ”I went for comfort and how I felt and this was empowering in itself.” This is a wonderful reminder that no matter what, it comes down to me and how I am feeling and what supports me in any given moment, instead of giving priority to that which is outside of myself. Thank you Johanna for sharing your breakfast date with yourself.
Not only, but especially when you are in a relationship and you are used to do things together it is very important to really feel into, if there is time needed to be on your own. To then have such a connected experience is like medicine – no need for anything, just enjoying yourself, very powerful… I know these moments aswell ..That´s one part of the beauty, when you choose to be with you.
Absolutely Steffi… I know that I am usually thinking of another person and wanting to do sweet things together. I notice that when I am on my own doing sweet things I still get thoughts of wow this is amazing… next time i will need to bring someone to experience it with me
Imagine if every woman lived every moment with this kind of grace and presence – we would change the world in an instant.
Wow – that is a thing to consider. Every woman living their natural grace and presence and emanating that in their every step…
Men surrendering back into the tenderness they are and long for, nature relaxing back from a need to repair and constantly adjust, children held and loved without condition, comparison a thing of the past…
I am going to go on compiling that list, knowing that it is all absolutely within our reach right now.
What a beautiful reflection you offered everyone in the restaurant that day – and to us here now. Thank you Johanna.
Delightfully enjoying ourselves brings the same to our relationships with everyone. Its beautifully infectious!
Johanna, there is something very beautiful about becoming more and more content in your own company and in yourself, and as I am discovering this is not anything to do with isolating yourself or keeping yourself away from the world, but these moments such as you describe, are for me times to check in with myself, to see how far I have come in getting to know me, appreciating me and loving my own company. Truly precious moments that have a lot to show us about our relationship with ourselves and with God. Thank you for sharing with us a little bit of you in these times – gorgeous.
This line is gorgeous Anne.
‘Truly precious moments that have a lot to show us about our relationship with ourselves and with God.’
Thanks, Anna. Your comment has helped me see how I have enjoyed being on my own in the past, but often as a withdrawal from the world. It is very different to see time with oneself as an opportunity to grow and expand, so that we can share more of ourselves with others.
Anna McCormack – thank you for confirming the truth of this in my own experience too – “there is something very beautiful about becoming more and more content in your own company and in yourself, and as I am discovering this is not anything to do with isolating yourself or keeping yourself away from the world, but these moments such as you describe, are for me times to check in with myself, to see how far I have come in getting to know me, appreciating me and loving my own company”
Thank God for Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and the Ancient Wisdom presentations – these continue to inspire me to enjoy just simply being with me.
Your description of your preparation for breakfasting out on your own and the ensuing meal is so delicate and tender, Johanna, and feels to me like a ceremony. Your ability to focus lovingly on yourself and not be affected by what others might be thinking about you, is inspiring, and reveals how you are at home with yourself wherever you go and whatever you do. So everything we do in life can be this ceremony, a celebration of ourselves, whether we are with people or not, and brings a richness and fullness to our lives that cannot be felt or lived if we are still looking to the outside for approval and affirmation.
Joan I like your description of the way Johanna prepared herself for breakfast as being like a ceremony. I have a breakfast date with my family this morning and am inspired to create my own getting ready ceremony.
Dear Johanna……….I know exactly what you mean. It is all about attitude, how we feel about ourselves, our self-worth, self-respect, maybe a little bit about self-confidence, and a whole lot about self-love. Thanks for sharing it in such a simple way that it makes it possible for everyone to “get it.”
Such a beautiful, honouring and downright sensible way to holiday Johanna! So many thrash themselves on vacation, feeling entitled to ‘cut loose’, then turn up back at work shattered, exhausted, and already needing another holiday. I imagine you felt none of those things when you returned to work after your vacation.
A great reminder for me to not forget that I can be present and enjoy me in the most simplest of things or daily activities, and I don’t need to wait until there’s time to stop and meditate to do this.
Yes Danielle I agree. I catch myself often going into my head especially when I am doing the everyday household tasks when really it is a wonderful opportunity to connect to myself and enjoy being present with me and my body.
This is so important to have as a little check in note – we have become misguided by the notion that there needs to be a stop and a specific time to make time for ourselves. Actually there is no time like the present and we can be enjoying this me time all of the time. Gorgeous.
Danielle your comment struck a chord with me. That feeling of ‘I will be connected and gentle when……………’ or ‘I just have to get through this busy patch and then I’ll be more able to connect and be gentle’. Love is available to me all of the time but I bring in obstacles to prevent myself from accessing it.
Inspired by what is shared here I am appreciating that every moment, anywhere, doing anything is an exquisite invitation to be on the sweetest date with ourselves and acknowledging the ripple effect of this.
Good point Danielle, spending that quality time with ourselves does not need to be a designated time that only lasts a short while like a meditation, but we can make quality time with ourselves so much more.. (I would say all of the time but I also understand that we are imperfect) but we are always have our bodies with us so we actually have the opportunity all day everyday to make it special!
And a great reminder for me too – to check in with myself periodically and re-connect if I have been not quite there with my self… no need for specific times to do this, instead just reflecting regularly throughout the day and reconnect when off track.
Lovely Johanna. I will remember this blog when I next have my breakfast. To enjoy your own company in the way you described is lovely, and lovelier still that it isn’t about escaping or shutting people out and not wanting to connect with people, but maintaining that lovely connection with yourself.
Johanna – I love the whole of your blog and find absolutely gorgeous its title “A Delicious Breakfast Date With Myself”. Everything is so deeply self-honouring and is such an inspiration to pause and feel into – with more honesty – the quality of our breakfast and the quality of our relationship with self around that time.
Gosh that really sounds delicious: a delicious woman with a delicious breakfast and delicious movements (inside and outside). I would say: it was and is a ‘Delicious Decision’ to get inspired by Universal Medicine!
It’s such a confirming experience when we can appreciate the things that we enjoy that involve us just being connected to ourselves in the moment, as oppossed to how we might have behaved in the past. May you have many more such breakfasts as the one you have just enjoyed Johanna!
Gorgeous to read your appreciation for your own company Johanna, and the joy felt through the quality of presence you brought to each moment.
I can relate Johanna, I am discovering that I am the hottest date out.
Johanna, what a blessing this glow of absolute joy and awareness would have been for all those guests and staff around you and equally for us now as your words reignite the pure & simple beauty of connection.
I like your viewpoint Lucinda – it would be a lovely opportunity for all those who shared the restaurant… to see someone revelling in their own company, taking time for themselves, and glowing in their own gorgeousness!
I was just feeling the same thing Lucinda before I read your comment. The other people around Johanna on that morning would for sure have observed Johanna and felt her presence and stillness. I wonder what a difference it may have made for many of them. It would have been so obvious the loving relationship Johanna had with herself. How supportive for all there.
It is the most gorgeous feeling to feel connected in every moment – what you shared with us left me feeling that I was there with you savouring each and every moment. A wonderful gift to ourselves – a beautiful sharing Johanna thank you.
Yes I agree Marion, such a beautiful gift to be the one you enjoy being with and celebrating in each moment.
It was lovely reading your turn around from avoiding being alone with yourself to immensely enjoying your own company. I actually went to a restaurant and dined with myself for lunch today. It was interesting, to start with I went for my phone looking through emails, like I needed to do something because I wasn’t with anyone else and then I felt this knawing feeling (like a young child asking an adult to spend time with them) put my phone away and enjoyed feeling where I was at while eating my food.
Hi Aimee, It’s quite delightful actually to feel this part of ourselves saying “hey why not spend some time with me?”
My grandfather always said: We live alone and die alone, and: I am my best friend of mine. I remember this sentences as a gift, because they are a reminder of the reality and an opportunity to deepen in my relationship with myself.
With this text I can feel the power and simplicity of being really connected with every feeling which we can feel in each moment, and how this makes the difference in a day and in a whole life. The simplicity and detail of your description is so inspiring to me and it complete my grandfather’s sentences as the best example I could ever have. Thank you!
Your gorgeous morning has inspired me to have not just a breakfast with myself but a morning and to see what unfolds.
Yes Sally, it’s beautiful to give ourselves the space for this: not trying to control anything just letting it unfold as it will in its own time and rhythm. I so enjoy having these spacious moments for myself, so often I can be on a program of what needs to be done and I’m learning it’s all about letting go of that controlling factor within me that thinks I have to be a certain way.
Johanna I can certainly relate to you 8 years ago, I don’t think I have been in the position of dating myself for a meal but I know I enjoy myself much more than I ever have and it beats being anxious and critical of myself
On reading your gorgeous blog Johanna, got me feeling into the times that I have chosen to do the same and how delight-full the experience was. When I notice that I am pulled to be distracted by tv, my phone (at work) the computer, or a book, when I am going to eat, I can feel this fake kind of satisfaction in me that isn’t sated in that moment, I have to keep choosing that to fill that void. But when I choose to be with me when I eat, it opens up the moment to so much more than just having a meal. So very lovely to experience and feel how a simple moment with myself as I am nourishing me, can fill me up with such joy and light. I recently shared this experience with a work colleague who was talking about her life being boring, and I shared with her how I used to feel the same but then when I started to appreciate myself more each day in little meaningful ways, it brought more joy into my life. I shared with her about eating with yourself and how when I first did that, it was the most enjoyable meal I have ever eaten, not because of the food I was eating, but because I was with myself during that time. She could feel that and said she was going to give it a try. I am really looking forward to seeing her again so that I can ask her how she went.
Awesome Julie, please share if you can here! I love too how you describe the process of ‘fake satisfaction’ – you nailed it, that’s been my experience too in terms of how it works.
Yes, Julie, I too know well the fake satisfaction of eating and being distracted by tv, the computer etc, and used to do it a lot. For me, it was very much about checking out and avoiding connection with myself (or my family) and a tell-tale sign that the day had been challenging and that I had not been willing to deal with it yet. It feels very different to be present and with myself while eating, and no doubt the food is digested better and is more nourishing as a result.
Oh gosh this is the complete opposite of how I ate last night so thanks for the reminder of what can be possible when you choose to be with yourself! When I read this line today “I walked to the restaurant feeling glorious and excited that I was having some quality time on my own, that I could Be as I am, even in a restaurant full of people” a huge smile came on my face that someone was having this experience because it is so rare to hear someone talk about spending time on your own like this. I saw a previous comment abut sending this to a women’s magazine – I think this is a great idea!
I also felt for this line Sarah. I see Johanna before my inner eye walking in her grace – pure sexy…what a joy to imagine.
So I felt for a fantasy of: how would life on earth be if we all would walk like Johanna, in our fullness, enjoying ourselves every day? Imagine this. Wow. The power of true Joy.
Absolutely send this to a woman’s magazine. What Johanna has shared here is a powerful reflection for all women.
Hi Johanna, As I was reading the sharing about your morning I could feel the real joy expressed within your honouring of yourself and it was a true inspiration to be more honouring of myself. Thank you
I am so into dating myself now, that I am also inspiring my colleagues at work to go on a date with themselves when they have their lunch break. My colleague just left and I said: are you going on a date with yourself? I sure am, and she left with a big smile on her face. Your blog is inspiring not only me, but also those around me….
Mariette, what a sense of playfulness and joy you share. Yes at every moment we have the choice to celebrate and have a special date with ourselves. You have now got me realising all the opportunities I can do this with in my everyday.
Thank you.
‘I am so into dating myself now’ – haha I love it Mariette! Simply gorgeous.
How true – one cannot help but beam with joy when feeling the yumminess of what this simple exercise has to offer us all.
I loved how you highlighted each point where you had the opportunity to spin out or to make a choice to stay and appreciate you and what felt right for you in that moment.
Great pick up there Nicole, so many points in our day where that choice presents itself and it is great to have a practical description of this in this blog.
Great call Jane – now that would be a great story, instead of 10 ways to please your man or how to get a man and etc. something truly inspiring to share the power of our own love and connection.
I love the delicate details you have expressed in your day Johanna. A lovely and uniquely you confirmation of your presence. Thank you for the inspiration.
What a hot date Johanna! Feels to me like all dates should be like this.
I too love hanging out with me and dining by self… being my own best friend!!!!
This is lovely Mary-Louise, ‘I too love hanging out with me and dining by self… being my own best friend!!!!’, this is so sweet, I feel inspired to be my own best friend too and enjoy time with me more.
Being our own best friend, I like this and it is very true. There are times to just hang out with ourselves be, there are moments of appreciation, and moments of fun, moments to take as by the hand and moments to hold us lovingly in our arms. All these moments with ourselves. And then all these moments can also be shared and had with others.
So true Esther – I just love the idea of taking myself by the hand and holding myself lovingly in my arms. When we begin to show true appreciation through our tenderness the feel of our touch is the most amazing and exquisite gift we can give ourselves. And as you say, when we truly appreciate ourselves we begin to truly appreciate others and then we are sharing from a place that is tender and true.
Awesome blog Johanna, such changes you share from where you are now to eight years ago. You have expressed beautifully the simplify and magic in life that happens when we meet ourselves for who we truly are.
What a beautiful spacious morning you had with yourself Johannah and thank you for sharing how different you feel now about breakfasting alone.
What a beautiful description of your date with yourself Johanna! It’s been a blessing to learn how to be with myself for the pure enjoyment of my own company – than to want to be on my own to escape the overwhelm of life… testament to the life presented by Serge Benhayon.
I love what you are saying, Rosanna. I always felt comfortable in my own company and on my own because it felt safe. Now I love to spend time with Me, have a meal or a cuppa but also enjoy and welcome when someone joins me.
What a loving experience. I could just feel the grace and presence of you throughout the whole blog. You have constellated a way of being around you by making loving choices upto the detail. And this leads to what you were experiencing. It makes me realize that it is about allowing this to take place, to feel myself. It just requires a choice. It can be every minute like now. I was reading your blog, whilst having breakfast. A few adaptations like my sitting posture and the way I ate my breakfast already made a difference. I am going to take this into my morning.
Johanna you have turned what for most is a pretty mundane experience, (often done with a distraction like reading) into a glorious multi sensational enriching experience. Enlightening and delightful.
After reading this blog I sat for a moment to feel ‘me’. I have been more and more recently feelings a sense of steadiness within myself and assuredness in my life and my choices and this has stemmed from making choices based on how those choices make me feel. This is a far cry from the ‘me’ in life who: Constantly worried about how she would appear to others in her speech, movements and even thoughts, constantly pushed and scrambled to hide herself in tasks, roles, biting my tongue and not saying how I feel and basing my worth in life on a ‘job well done’. While some if not all of these are still hanging around they no longer have the suffocating hold they used to have as I continue to build and expand this relationship with how my body and the true me feels to be. Thank you Johanna.
As I read your blog again I felt you really appreciating who you are and celebrating this , what a lovely confirmation and way to start the day Johanna.
What strikes me most about this blog, is that this tender morning could be any day in any situation. the beautiful surroundings add to its splendour, but do not make it special, it is you that makes the moment.
Agreed Shami, the inspiration in the blog is not the situation but the quality that Johanne brings to it. This quality is there for us all, every day… no matter what the situation.
Absolutely Shami. I completely agree.
Well said Shami. We don’t need to be in an exotic place or have a special occasion to go on a date with ourselves. Being with ourselves is a joy full stop. I have been to many stunning places in the world but did not choose to be with me. When I’m with me, it is irrelevant where I am or what the occasion might be.
Agree Jane, a date with ourselves is awesome. I travel a lot for work and I am very used to having breakfast on my own in restaurants, but I always kept myself busy with newspaper or emails during breakfast showing the outside that I am not alone, but very busy. It was so easy to cover the slight uncomfortable feeling of having breakfast on my own with busyness and I always felt also a big pressure to appear busy, as this is what you do being on a business trip….With the time I learned to be more at ease with myself, just sitting there with my breakfast having a cup of tea and looking around enjoying the people and myself and it made a huge difference as I prepared myself beautifully for the day, by just enjoying the time with myself. Your blog Johanna is a great reminder to even deepen it and on my future trips I will have more breakfast dates with myself!
Absolutely Jane, this is lovely, ‘ ‘This is a beautiful blog that could be in womens magazines as it inspires a new way of going on a date – a date with ourselves!’ rather than women s magazines encouraging the constant search for ‘a man’ to keep us company, it is lovely to say we are enough and can enjoy being with ourselves, this would be refreshing!
Johanne this is a beautiful blog sharing your experience of honouring and appreciating your self and all that brings thank you. I really enjoy time with myself but your sharing brings it too a greater loving level of a date with oneself ,the preparation and treasuring of moments of loving care and all that brings to us. Very inspiring
Johanna, I loved your description of your breakfast date with yourself- very nurturing, self loving and self honouring.
Great reminder of how we can embrace the love that we are more in our everyday activities.
Wow thank you for sharing Johanna. It strikes up memories of when I used to fear eating alone too.
I was very good at making myself invisible when I had no one to share a meal with – and I can relate so much to how you used to feel. But what is so inspiring here is how you have done a complete 360 and can be with yourself in full and really appreciate this time.
Again I know that feeling alone only stemmed from the social pressures of looking popular and the fact I was not connected to myself in any way. This is a beautiful sharing to look at how we never need to feel alone if we are present.
Johanna, I can feel your presence and joy and your contentment. It feels amazing.
That was a very inspiring blog Johanna. I asked myself why didn’t I have such a wonderful breakfast as you describe so amazingly in your blog ???? What I find out was not pleasant – I do not give myself the worth to do so. Other things are more important than my own meal. So today I will start to have a date with me to have such an exquisite breakfast . . . mmmmh.
I am glad you wrote this, Ester. Johanna’s blog does feel like a celebration of her self worth, in taking the time and space to enjoy being with herself and treasuring her own company.
I loved the image that you portrayed Johanna of your beautifully self-content solo breakfast and day with yourself, and I can relate to really enjoying time to just be with yourself. Your article also kind of broke through a silly belief I have somewhat held onto of me being ‘anti-social’ or ‘introverted’ when I have just wanted to spend time by myself in various family or social situations. I can now feel how great it is to be comfortable being alone and enjoying my own company, and thus other’s even more when I am with other people.
I used to eat breakfast alone everyday at the cafe near work. I would build myself a little fortress out of:
One large cappuccino positioned in front of me and slightly to the left
One large Newspaper,directly in front and slightly raised so no one could see me
One wall, at my left side
One large Brioche on my right
No one could get near me and by reading the paper I did not have to feel myself at all….ahh yes the perfect antidote to loving myself!
Now I just sit and observe and breathe and enjoy myself.
The fortress is a picture you often see when in a cafe
What a difference now Rachel, imagine how that must feel for others sitting near you. I didn’t do the newspaper thing but I did sit in a way that I couldn’t see anyone and would be left alone. Now I feel so much more open to meeting and talking with strangers or just simply being by myself.
Brilliant description Rachel. I know this wall very well. Letting it go bit by bit and yes breathing myself more and more and letting the world in.
This is gorgeous Monica. A reminder that we need not rely on hundreds of guests, cards and cake to celebrate ourselves. So much has been made out of loneliness…it is equated with being alone, but I know that I can highlight many times when I felt completely alone in a crowd, even in a group of friends.
A true definition of lonely needs to be made: something along the lines of not taking the time or having the will to get to know, love and appreciate yourself for who you are in every moment.
All relationships start with our relationship with ourselves. To feel totally connected and awesome on a date with yourself is an amazing foundation for all other relationships.
Beautiful how you described the quality of presence you brought to that moment which was absolutely delightful and a sample of how we can live and experience every moment in the joy of being with ourselves and others equally.
Thank you for sharing
A beautiful account Johanna. Gorgeous to read your appreciation for your own company and how this has changed. The idea we have that we need to be with others to have a ‘good time’ is just not true.
Our body is our true home, and we are more precious than we can ever imagine. If only we all knew to honour the fact that this is so.
This is divinely beautiful Adam. Thank you for sharing this truth in such a gorgeous expression.
Thank you Johanna for sharing such an exquisite date with us. I can really appreciate the shift you have made and how glorious to feel so complete in your own company, not needing or wanting anything else to make you feel content. It is a rare and precious gift in the world today and one to be shared with all. Learning how to connect to our selves once again and discover true fulfilment is a powerful skill worth sharing, we bring so much grace to the world when we do.
Thank you for sharing a beautiful moment Johanna. It is refreshing to feel the contentment you have with yourself and from my understanding, through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, a moment that happened because of, and is confirming, of how you are living the rest of the time. Amazing!
This blog is claiming true appreciation and confirmation of how wonderful it is to just be yourself.
This is beautiful Johanna, a simple but powerful claiming of loving ourselves and our own company. I’ve also experienced how empowering it is to honour time with myself if that’s what I’m truly feeling I need. Instead of subscribing to what I think others expect of me, listening to me and my body — and everything I then do has this most amazing joyful quality because it comes from the true me.
I loved this Johanna, it’s a far cry from feeling self conscious and awkward for being on your own. Very inspiring to feel that comfortable with yourself.
Simply awesome Johanna. I love being in my own company now too whereas once I would always try to be with other people.
It’s gorgeous to feel the appreciation you felt for yourself here, thank you for sharing. This is definitely the way forward.
I can totally relate to your experiences too Johanna – i could go out for breakfast, even lunch on my own, but with a newspaper or book…. dinner was out of the question. Reading your beautiful blog, I am fully inspired to go out on a dinner-date with my gorgeous self now as well, thank you for your sharing.
To be self-content in a true sense is most delicious and enjoyable and is only possible when we feel complete within ourselves. The comleteness allows no opening for a need that would make us feel deficient pulling us away from the inner contentment. Oh, what a beautifull morning you had – thanks for sharing and inspiring me to come back to my inner fullness.
I agree Monica. And I feel that this connection with ourselves actually strengthens the connection we have with others, when we do enjoy the time and company of another.
To sit alone in a crowded restaurant and get the enjoyment from it that you did , is not an easy thing to do. I can feel the joy come through in your writing and it reflects “…the enormous appreciation for how content I felt – and now feel – in myself. Thanks for your beautiful article Johanna.
This goes to show that developing a relationship with your-self is super important and that everything we need is within. I’m sure there were many patrons in the restaurant saying ‘I’ll have what she’s having”, your presence would have been palpable.
I agree Monica. It is like we take away the want for something outside of us to fulfil us. Instead we come already fulfilled so anything and everything is a bonus.
Perhaps as well as the great reflection we can get being on our own without the need of another, there is also the importance that I need to work on being just as I am on my own when I am with others. Not altering how I act when in company. Having time alone allows me to feel what is natural for me, then do I take that same way of being to every person I spend time with?
Good question Stephen and a given answer for me. I sure do change when I am with others. Not that I want to but I still do and if not that much I still feel the awareness that I have people around me and that I have to be on guard sometimes. I’m learning this constantly to relax when with others and not be so tense.
Thank you Johanna for sharing your blog , to have come to a point where being alone is never lonely is a fulfilling journey of waking up to the oneness we share with everything and are always in, through choosing to be aware of it and appreciating every moment of it.
What a delightful date….it’s exquisite the relationship we can have with our selves…and there is no loneliness, only fullness….
Thank you Johanna, it was really beautiful to feel the detail and delicateness in the presence you had while eating your breakfast. It made me feel a bit jealous, and like I wanted a holiday too..but then I quickly knew that it is equally in me to have these delicious and delightful moments each and every moment of each and every day, should I so choose it. Very inspiring!
I love the feel of your blog Johanna. The quality of how you spend the breakfast with yourself feels exquisite. A joy to read.
Thanks for this reminder Johanna. I can recall a time when I could not even enter a cafe by myself even to buy a takeaway let alone sit and eat a meal by myself. Nowadays since building a real relationship with myself everything has changed for me. The anxiousness that I felt on a daily basis has gone.
Beautiful article that you have shared Johanna. It makes me ponder on the last meal I ate by myself and how I didn’t truly connect with myself as I ate it. Thank you for reminding me to be my gorgeous self in all that I do and be consciously present
Wow Monica, how gorgeous to take yourself out on your birthday. What a healing and what an inspiring way to live every moment. Others joining you then become the icing on the cake.
What a breath of fresh air to read this blog and the wonderful relationship you have just being with you, appreciating yourself and every moment. Your blog really confirmed how much I love to spend time with me, and how I feel like I’m with my best friend. Your blog has really encouraged me to more deeply enjoy this. Thank you Johanna.
Thank you for sharing a morning with us – one of true enjoyment, and honouring in just being yourself.
Johanna what an exquisite sharing of simply being with you and enjoying it to the full. Sitting in a restaurant or even walking alone used to be a major challenge for me – since attending Serge Benhayon’s presentations I have a much deeper appreciation of myself and of others and now so much more at ease with myself whether in a restaurant, with a crowd of unknown people or simply out for a walk with me. I am inspired from reading this blog to take this honouring of myself and building upon this foundation to a deeper level. Thank you!
I can feel the gorgeousness in your words and how confirming it is to honour what we feel in the moment we feel it. I particularly love the attention you gave to doing your hair in a way that was how you felt rather than to look immaculate.
I find this to be so much fun because when I do my hair or dress my self in the way that feels true it feels like I am letting go of ideals and beliefs about how things should look and I am confirmed in the contentment i feel within myself.
What a great comparison Johanna – it gave me goose bumps reading the first breakfast date with yourself as I basked in the yumminess you had created for yourself – it was felt in every word. How incredible to know and appreciate the difference between how that same scenario has been lived and played out before. Goes to show how even the simplest of things, when connected to oneself, can pave the way forward for huge changes in the way we perceive ourselves, others and the situation around us.
what a yummy blog Johanna and I can so feel the warmth and confirmation of you being with yourself without letting anything from outside come in. A great reminder of the absolutely lovely company we can offer ourselves and how yummy it is to be so still, connected and present in each moment.
What a wonderful appreciation of yourself and how far you have come Johanna. This is such a gorgeously simple sharing, thank you for highlighting the choices we can make – either to stay small locked in a prison of insecurity or glow with beauty and appreciation of the true you 🙂
Dating ourselves and enjoying it. I love this too!
Wow, what an exquisite way to spend your morning – mine are still a bit of a list of ‘things to do’ but I can feel the depth of self-care and self-love in your breakfast date. I live alone and occasionally stand at the sink and eat because I’m in a hurry or I’m too hungry to prepare a meal properly, and grab a snack, but I can choose to eat lovingly with every meal. To make time to eat, digest and appreciate is gorgeous and definitely a different way for most of humanity.
Oooh Johanna, this is sublime. Like you I am now enjoying my company like never before. A few years ago I would have also felt self-conscious and uncomfortable about eating on my own in a restaurant, but not anymore. Feeling complete in myself and letting go of the constant need for others to be something for me has changed everything.
Beautiful sharing, Johanna. In the past I would have had all the same reactions as you listed if I had to sit at a table myself to have a meal. I would have been extremely self-conscious, feeling I was standing out, being looked at etc. Would probably have made sure I had something to read, so I did not have to look at other people.
Now, since I met Serge Benhayon and attended Universal Medicine Presentations, I have come to really appreciate time with myself, just love being with myself, with no need for anyone else to be at my table. Your description of your breakfast date with yourself was awesome, and to have the extra of the beautiful scenery and surroundings, what a blessing you experienced.
Gorgeous Johanna. I had a similar experience a few months ago where I went shopping all by myself, which even though at the start I was a bit nervous of doing – looking lonely, not having anyone to keep me company and worrying what others would think if I bumped into people I knew, I got over these worries and ended up having an amazing time!
Thank you Joanna. Your experience of your breakfast date echoes many of my experiences. I now love my own company and feel at ease when alone in public places. This has definitely not always been the case for me. When connected to myself I can never feel alone. Thank you for sharing.
Each bite of food felt like a warm, soft, delicious kiss and I allowed myself to feel how tenderly I can eat, place food in my mouth and pour and drink my tea. I gave myself space between my bites and savoured the flavour of the food. A lovely reminder Johanna, because sometimes I can still eat in a way that does not honor my body, because I am tired or have left it too long to eat and am so hungry that I eat quickly…..I will take this into my day.
Gorgeous Johanna, ‘I allowed myself to feel how tenderly I can eat, place food in my mouth and pour and drink my tea. I gave myself space between my bites and savoured the flavour of the food.’ I loved reading this, I used to feel that I couldn’t go for a meal on my own, that people would think there was something wrong with me, that i would feel lonely. This is changing now and your blog is very inspiring and confirming to read, how gorgeous to feel ‘complete in my own company’.
Sometimes the loveliest date is with ourselves! Not to take away from the joy of being with other people, but it is so special to be able to truly enjoy ones own company and to feel completely content doing so, even if we are choosing to eat alone in a public place. Thanks for your lovely sharing, Johanna, this will inspire solo dates all over the place!
It is so lovely to feel delicious and great in one’s own skin and I can feel this so much in the way you expressed in your blog. I felt so much grace in it. What a gift for you to bring into the busy restaurant!
All of the noise, the craziness, the hustle and bustle, clanking plates and cutlery, the voices, the rush for the best bits at the buffet!
I can feel Johanna in her writing, a point of stillness, grace, and poise.
Agreed Lyndy, I could feel Johanna being in the cafe totally comfortable in her own skin, which feels so beautiful.
I’ve had many moments of just enjoying being with myself, and it goes hand in hand with being present and very aware. I love this blog and how much appreciation there is for such a simple morning, and realising how precious and important time like this is.
Reading your blog Johanna I realised that when we truly appreciate ourselves we need nothing from the world. We are complete as we are and therefore can never be lonely while we have this connection with ourselves, even when we are alone.
You can never feel alone when you are connected to yourself, thanks for the article Johanna.
Nice Joe…. we are never alone when connected to ourselves…love it.
Love this too, and it is true as when I am really connected to myself I do not feel alone and am very content in that moment.
Beautiful blog, Johanna, and so delightful to read. I could merely feel the lovely connection you had with yourself. There’s a flow. A natural rhythm.
What a precious experience, – not to mention inspirational. Thank you.
Yes, Johanna, when we are truly with ourselves we can never be lonely, as we are connected to everything that we are a part of.
Absolutely Janet, ‘ when we are truly with ourselves we can never be lonely, as we are connected to everything that we are a part of.’ Beautifully expressed.
Those days filled with your own contentment are so precious. They do not need to be on a tropical beach though or on holidays. All the things you shared with us are things we can do every day. We can feel how to get up and get ready for the day. We can feel what and when to eat and we can enjoy being with ourselves. There is no greater fulfilment.
Beautiful and simple Johanna ~ thank you.
Yes, it’s lovely to read how much Johanna enjoys her own company and really appreciates the quality and time she has with herself.
Truly enjoying ones self is always a loving place to be and the world around you gets to feel your stillness at that moment. Thank you Johanna.
Thank you Johanna for sharing your appreciation of the contentment you now feel in yourself. This is so lovely to celebrate and also reflect on how it used to be. I can relate to feeling so much more complete in myself since becoming a student of The Way of the Livingness and allowing myself the time to explore this relationship and not feel I have to conform to society’s expectations eg that a woman is a failure if she is eating out by herself which is how I would have felt previously and therefore would have felt very self conscious and rushed my meal to get it over with.
Johanna a lovely sharing and one that makes me reflect on how I used to avoid any time on my own and now how there are many times that I really enjoy it. I also loved the way you fully embraced everything about breakfast and the time to celebrate simply being you.
I love how you gave yourself the space to enjoy you Johanna, how often do we make time in our busy days to stop and savour each moment as you did with your day?
I find the more I do give myself space to enjoy me – then the easier it is to make more of these moments and also easier to be with me more in every moment of the day in my daily activities.
I really could savor your blog Johanna, as you have savored yourself and every bite of food during breakfast at that morning. I feel, that everything – not only the food – unfolded its beautiful taste through you being so still and connected and precious with yourself. It is very interesting, that this quality of your morning is perfectly contained and transferred in your words – around the world – irrespective of time. That feels like such a moment of stillness has the power to create connection beyond time. So maybe you had company at that morning through us all now reading your blog, receiving the energy and connecting with it. Thank you for this delicious breakfast with you.
It is so great what you bring with this blog Johanna Smith, that you can be so joyful and content within yourself without the need of any other person to confirm you in any way shape or form. This shows how powerful we are when we let go the need of recognition and instead can appreciate ourselves for how amazing we feel ourselves. Innately we are alle equally amazing but we tend to not allow ourselves to connect to this and choose for a lesser life.
A delicious celebratory meal Johanna. When we are truly with ourselves we are never alone.
Hear hear Mary, ‘When we are truly with ourselves we are never alone’, and it does feel delicious.
Mary that is so true and also so wise – I love it – why is it that no teacher wrote this in big letters on the board when I was young?
Thank you Mary – simple words are often the most profound and loving.
With how busy life tends to be, with all that goes on it must be great to be able to spent such quality time on your own being able to focus on such a level of conscious awareness. I am now much more comfortable in my own company than ever before but have yet to make such luxurious me time available.
What you describe looks and feels simple, which it is if we allow ourselves to enjoy the magnificent beings we truly are, but in the world we live in today what you write about in your blog is revolutionary and the way forth for all of us.
What I love about your sharing here Johanna is the beautiful confirmation it offers of the true confidence, self-worth, self-nurturing and deep deep care that loving oneself can bring when lived every day to the best of our ability.
I totally agree Joshua. It is such a confirming and fulfilled when one does not require something external to feel complete but is able to be at ease and at one with oneself.
What a beautiful foundation you have developed Johanna – thank you for sharing this gorgeous experience. A delicious date with ourselves is something we can look forward to everyday. As once the invitation is accepted and enjoyed for the first time, you can only say ‘YES’ again to a date of such exquisiteness.
Absolutely. And there is no game of impressing anyone.
Yes, I love this Carola. And what a great way to live!
It would certainly take some effort to say no that is for sure!
Yes, again and again… We can date ourselves all day long on our own and with others.
Hello Carola Woods, to appreciate something like this for me allows more ease in you being able to say ‘YES’ again, really soaking up the feeling.
This is such a beautiful sharing Johanna. So many could relate to your previous alone dining experience yet not to your current one. So inspiring to feel that another way is possible. And not to spoil your fun but I would so love to have breakfast with you, I am sure it would do my digestion some good.
Time by myself is treasured, not feared these days, in much the same way you describe in this blog. Thanks Joanna.
Thank you Johanna for this de-light-full blog – I found it to be quite inspiring. I now feel that your inspiration will see me being more aware of the opportunity to make choices resulting in a litte more tenderness and a little more attention to the details in the preparation and eating of my meals. I sense the air of delicateness by which your entire ‘Date for one’ was enjoyed.
Wow, thanks Johanna. That truly affirmed to me that it is important to build that relationship with yourself, and make it so solid and deep, so that others can see that it is OK to do so.
YUM. Thank you for sharing you Johanna, felt I was with you on the date that morning today, a delicious confirmation of the loveliness of being with me.
I can relate. This whole blog felt utterly delicious, and an invitation for more scrumptious dates just with ourselves!!
Really cool Johanna. Often in the situations like the one you have shared (being on your own having breakfast or lunch etc) I feel what you felt 8 years ago… Worried about everyone and everything else around me instead of just enjoying what I’m doing and being with myself. What a contrast you have shared.
Yes it actually is quite huge and something I deeply appreciate. Deep thanks to the presentations and love of Serge Benhayon for constantly reflecting the fullness we all are and hold deep within.
You painted an awesome picture Johanna of the most scrumptious experience of being with you! I am more and more exploring that how we eat plays just as much a role as what we eat in our nourishment. Any guilt around food can create a hangover. Yet this does not mean eat anything. If we choose the quality of connection and presence you have described from the moment we wake up in the morning and this carries over to the food we choose and how we eat, we offer ourselves a powerfully wholesome experience of dining.
Gorgeous post and so well described Johanna. I can relate to being alone without feeling lonely. There was a time quite a few years ago now that I thought people (who I saw) who ate on their own were sad, lonely, boring or with no friends (!) So when it came to a time for me to do this, I labelled myself as this, hah (!) But when we start to really enjoy ourselves, understand who we are and then develop a love affair with self, there is this wonderful sense of ease about ourselves and life, and that care for ‘onlookers’ and their thoughts who may watch us dine alone no longer matters, as the only company that really matters is – connection to ourselves – whether we’re on our own or with a guest.
Yes I agree, Zofia, and this is the point – we can be with others all of the time and feel completely lonely and miserable if we are not connected to ourselves. To not look outside of myself for connection in order to feel seen and met, but to instead recognise how essential it is to develop my relationship with myself and my body, has completely re-orientated my life.
It’s so beautiful to feel how your decision to connect with yourself first thing in the morning prepared you for the next step, and the next… with increasing tenderness and appreciation of yourself, opening you up to receive the world with the same tenderness and appreciation. Exquisite.
Yes Fumiyo, this was beautiful to feel.
Such a gorgeous moment in your life you have shared with us. I so felt I was with you having breakfast. It is very confirming to look at how far you have come in relating to yourself which you do with such honouring.
Johanna, how beautiful it is to be fully and intimately with yourself and how amazing are the changes you have made to your life in eight years. This is truly a compliment to your dedication and commitment to the real you. Thank you for sharing your delicious breakfast date with your delightful self. I too have been inspired and supported by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and its practitioners to change my life.
It’s very cool to be completely at ease with ones own company. I can relate to your contrasts over time Johanna, between the anxiety about being alone and the celebrating of time with me.
One of the most beautiful sights is a person sitting alone, and clearly they are confident and at ease with themselves. Actually it is beautiful to see that anytime and any place.
Agree Rachel, seeing the at-ease of someone with themselves is very refreshing and appealing; feeling the at-ease within oneself, is everything, and more.
Absolutely with joy to watch! I remember 9 years ago I would feel watched from everyone sitting on my on in public, and feeling lesser being without a partner, like there would be something wrong with me. The judgement for myself was huge and the hardness you could build massive walls with. Thanks to Universal Medicine I could find my own confidence within and now I am sitting and enjoying being with me. This has been a huge healing for me.
I agree Helen Simkins also to the “contrasts”. That quality time alone brings more quality to the time I spend with people. There use to be a need to be around people but then came a time where I couldn’t deal with it and had to be alone. It got so extreme that I was looking to buy a house with a big fence and automatic gate, a retreat from the world. Until Universal Medicine and through the teachings I realised and as we are saying here that there was a quality that I was missing within myself and so when I was alone I would be anxious and look around to do something or be with someone. The more connection I had just in the moment with whatever it is I am or was doing then this anxiety or need would fade. After building more and more consistency with this simple connection now I can truly enjoy my own company and equally that of others but for me this is ongoing. It like an ever deepening well of connection to moments of life, that bring more and more of a fullness to everything.
Raymond I can relate to this. I once described myself as a recluse, would hide away in my home to replenish and recover my depleted self. With self care I’m no longer exhausted, recluse walls have come down and I’m out there in the world. I said yes to a family invitation and am here in New Orleans at a huge family reunion. Three generations from four continents sharing a house, some in hotels connecting, communicating, celebrating. Once this would have overwhelmed me, but not any more. The more I am present with myself, the easier it is for me to be with others and especially large groups. Saying yes was the most precious gift I could have given myself.
Johanna, I can relate to feeling that completeness in one’s own company but after reading what you had shared I could feel that I could connect to me even further. I really wanted to join you at the table so I could be with me too!!
Hi Anna, this was my feeling too, I love spending time with me but having read this blog there is such a deepening of that available! An inspiration to feel every movement.
Great realisation JY – I also feel fine with being with me most times, and by reading this blog it took me deeper as well, showing me where there is more healing to do.
Sounds like a very successful date indeed Johanna! I have often taken myself out on dates, but I can say that there have been many times that whilst I was enjoying my own company, I have often let my mind wonder off into thinking about how much nicer it would be if someone else was with me. I don’t always go into this fantasy, but I’m realising right now, that if I’m truthful, I havent yet really appreciated myself as much as I could, and perhaps still use the idea of being with someone else as a bit of a crutch to lean on to avoid feeling that I am enough. That’s pretty revealing,
Yes, Elodie Darwish, in the past I would have also used the “idea of being with someone else as a bit of a crutch to lean on to avoid feeling that I am enough.”
Now I love having time with myself.
That’s an awesome reevaluation and super honest. Thanks for sharing Elodie.
Revelation
Johanna, this is a great inspiration to have a look at how I start my day and ask the question: do I enjoy myself and being with myself when I wake up, or do I already start thinking of the things to do that day? Why not love, appreciate and enjoy my self from the minute I wake up? And take that feeling into my day? Otherwise I might miss my self for the rest of the day.
This is a great conversation to have with oneself first thing in the morning, Thank you Ingrid.
So easy to do Ingrid in our busy lives…to rush on by, getting things done and forget the most important thing….ourselves.
That is a great question Ingrid. I am definitely going to be observing my first thoughts tomorrow, it really reminds me how every moment counts and either adds to a day full of love, or a day filled with missing myself – thank you.
It feels that the lovely nurturing we give to ourselves confirms the love that we are–and the beautiful thing is nurturing is personal and unique to every person.
I agree Adele. Beautifully said.
Good point Adele, nurturing is a very personal process and needs to be felt from this perspective and not from any sort of comparison with another.
A superb observation Johanna. How we can enjoy our own company and being just ourselves and being seen in public doing that is not commonly experienced. I know I would feel very self conscious going out to eat by myself if I was travelling for example. I was out for lunch recently and was sitting by myself for a while, like you it was amazing to feel how lovely I felt and I was just enjoying sitting and being. In the past I would always have something to do, so I could avoid what it feels like sitting by myself. It’s funny that I thought that there was something wrong with this. But really there is much about ourselves and many opportunities to appreciate and enjoy who we are.
It’s gorgeous to appreciate Jennifer- feeling and knowing that we have shifted and moved away from insecurities. I love feeling the depth of me.
I used to avoid being out on my own too. For some reason I used to think it represented a failure on my part. It is refreshing to feel nowadays that there is no failure in being out on my own and not only that but now I completely enjoy my own company when I am.
What you say here is so true Jennifer. I find as I focus more on taking time, even if it’s just a minute in my day, to stop, be still and feel how I feel ,there is an enormous appreciation and beauty that I feel that just leaves me feeling ‘Mmmmm’. From here no task seems too big as I take my time – without rush to attend to it. It really is making a difference to my working day and they are becoming much more enjoyable and productive.
What I love about it Jen is that eating alone opens you up to other people…as long as shyness and awkwardness don’t take over. When you watch people eating out in couples or groups, they are very enclosed, not really looking at anyone else. It is as though they are the only ones in the cafe or restaurant. .No wonder people feel lonely, because each table is like its own island nation, with a trade embargo against all others!
Sitting alone, not shy, not studying the wood grain in the table top is a beautiful declaration of our love for ourselves, and others too
I used to be the same, Jennifer. Even having a cup of tea in a cafe on my own was uncomfortable, I felt like there was a sign round my neck saying ‘not wanted’ I knew how silly this was, and slowly started to change my thoughts to ‘ i am not alone, but I am choosing to be on my own’, but still needed a book or magazine as support. Last week I went out for lunch alone, no props, just because i wanted to, chose my meal with care, ate it slowly ,attending to every mouthful, and enjoying how lovely it all felt. It was wonderful to take that time to appreciate who I am, and appreciate too, the inspiration to change that comes from being a student of Universal Medicine.
Johanna I can so relate with how you used for feel if I had to have breakfast by myself in a cafe. Simply I would think everyone would be thinking I was a “loser” with no friends. From everything you have shared I can feel how much fun it would be to have breakfast date with myself due to everything I have embraced from the teahings of Universal Medicine. So from your inspiration, I am going to plan one and I will report back how it went.
Thank you for sharing this experience Johanna and reminding me of the importance of stopping to connect with myself every single day; to appreciate my deliciousness which for me then leads to sharing that with others and connecting with it in others – one of my true strengths is knowing that we are all exactly the same as human beings. We are all loveable and amazing, we have let many layers of beliefs, expectations and hurts become obstacles in the way of living from that undeniable truth.
Johanna your date with yourself feels so precious and whole, so lovely and confirming. Which makes me ponder, whether dates can be something we first go to with ourselves if we are single? Even with a partner, dates with ourselves feel beautifully supportive. I would love to hear how after you had your breakfast date with yourself, what was it like when you met your husband again.
I agree Adele – perhaps this could completely change the way we approach dating other people – by first having a basis or foundation of a relationship with ourselves that we can then stand upon with someone else. It is interesting how as a society we have this perception of people being on their own – eating diner alone, doing things on their own, that somehow that person is lacking because they are on their own – but there is a big difference between being alone, and being lonely, and I think Johanna beautifully shows how you can be alone and yet not be at all lonely, because you are with yourself.
Wow, what a beautiful experience and thank you for sharing this. It feels amazing to read and I am feeling your loveliness, warmth and tenderness. Gorgeous and inspiring for me to connect with my stillness and to be fully present in everything I do.
Johanna, such a beautiful sharing. I too enjoying having breakfast dates with myself, it really allows me to fully appreciate my tenderness and how far I have come from always doing for others and never stopping for myself. Theses moments really allow me to connect to the women I truly am.
Johanna, you were a gift to everyone in that restaurant. What a blessing it would have been to look across at you enjoying your own company as you gently ate breakfast.
Thank you Rachel. You further remind me of the reflection and impact we all have on others no matter where we are or what we are doing. Sometimes I don’t fully appreciate that this is actually happening all the time and others are constantly bring inspired through a gentle and loving reflection. A great reminder. Deep thanks Rachel.
Johanna, what a beautiful feast of appreciation. It gave me a moment to stop and appreciate how a breakfast on my own would feel similar these days and how far I’ve come. Thank you for inviting us to breakfast.
It is awesome for us all to stop and truly appreciate how far we have come. You make a great point Kim.
Just this morning I was thinking about the many miracles that I have felt in my life through my choices to feel, honour myself and self care over the last 9 years.
Thank you to the loving presentations from Serge Benhayon that are there as a forever support for us all to be and live from the connection of the love of our soul.
Johanna thank you for sharing your delicious breakfast date. I can relate to how doing something as simple as dining on our own has equated to a whole dialogue of what I’m not. You have opened up a great myth buster with your inner loving glow of who you are and celebrating sharing that with everyone, at the restaurant and here.
Thank you Sandra. What a gorgeous piece of expression. It is fun feeling that every moment and detail of what we eat, how we prepare food, how we eat, hold our utensils, place food in our mouth etc are all there to confirm our own inner deliciousness, if we so choose to bring this level of love and detail to our lives.
This is gorgeous Johanna in the way you’ve shared your morning – I was with you every step of the way. It sounds like a simple thing to dine alone, but it can create tension if we’re not comfortable in our own skins to do this. Thanks for sharing your date 🙂
Yum! The whole experience you describe Johanna feels so delicious. Rather than just talking about the meal being delicious you are showing us the whole experience in honouring yourself can be incredibly yummy in every cell of your body, totally supporting your divine being that is you. Beautiful, thank you.
Lovely Suzanne, so true in what you write about honouring yourself being incredibly yummy. The world doesn’t see much self honouring these days so to read about another’s experience is very inspiring and very needed.
Johanna I can picture you walking radiantly into the restaurant, being totally in your presence, feeling every movement and enjoying every morsel. The stillness you express feels delicious. Calm and tenderness envelop you. Beautiful blog that puts a smile on my face.
Dear Johanna, I can really feel the stillness and loving presence with which you enjoyed this beautiful breakfast with you. It felt healing just reading your beautiful account of how you chose to be with yourself that morning. Very inspiring for me, and feeling that it’s not hard, but simple and self honouring to be so considerate with yourself. This brings true confidence, like nothing else.
Thank you Johanna for this simple and wonderful article. You described situations in daily life, and the huge difference it makes if we stay focussed and presence with ourself. What a huge difference to the time before you have discovered this truth for you. I know this feeling of confidence and nothing can disturb this inner stillness. This is the joy I can smile out into the world.
Thank you Johanna for sharing I very much enjoyed reading this, your deliciousness and being absolutely content with yourself is felt.
Realizing how beautiful and empowering self-love is is just an amazing and life changing experience. Thank your for sharing this beautiful blog Johanna.
Brilliant Johanna. This is just the kind of growth that happens when we start to make loving choices and live with self-love AND is exactly what happens when we allow the grace of Universal Medicine into our lives; we can’t help but fall in love with ourselves.
“We can’t help but fall in-love with ourselves” – I love it. That should be a t-shirt!
What I find amazing about your blog is the incredible level of self love and self acceptance that it takes to not ‘look outside yourself for acceptance’ but rather honour how you feel in every movement and in every moment celebrating you 🙂
Yes, agree this is a lovely inspiration!
Beautiful Johanna, I love your sharing of total contentment with yourself, without any needs just enjoying caring for yourself, truly inspirational.
I really enjoyed feeling the quality of your relationship with yourself Johanna – the fullness and contentment.
The list that describes how you used to feel is all too common and can be experienced even when we are with people, not just on our own! Nothing can remove these insecurities except for the development of our relationship with ourselves.
A juicy and delicious relationship with ourselves is certainly something to celebrate.
I agree Kylie, Johanna’s blog about the relationship she has with herself is delicious and should be celebrated. There is no reason we all can’t have the same quality with ourselves, all the time.
Agree with you both Kylie and Suzanne, I guess everything is missing and is feeling incomplete (and to worry about) if we miss a relationship with ourselves first. Once we have that, as Johanna’s blog is beautifully reflecting – nothing is actually missing. I can totally relate to that !
How gorgeous and inspiring Johanna to read of your breakfast date with the amazing you. I can feel the grace, love and deep honour you granted yourself that morning that would have been felt by all around you. What an amazing reflection in a world where eating to suit others has become normal over honouring what we feel to do and going with it. I love it!
This is awesome Johanna. It is so different to a ‘normal’ day on holiday – either sleeping in all morning and lounging around, or wanting to pack as much in as possible into the day. Instead, you just felt what was right for you and as a result had an amazing experience doing what some would describe as a mundane task – having breakfast. What if we applied this attention to detail in every moment?
Yes, what then Jessica? Moment after moment of true care, self respect, kindness, self honouring… What would the knock on effect be? It would be a game changer. For sure.
Absolutely – it would be a game changer for individuals and for humanity at large as well
Ah yes, I can relate to this Johanna – alone but never lonely is a gorgeous place to be no matter the backdrop.
Yes Liane, this difference is huge. While enjoying oneself on your own, you can never feel lonely.
Yes, you not just don’t feel lonely you feel very full and very aware and the feeling is love.
So true Sonja, being alone but without feeling the loneliness is something I have worked on, and really learned to embrace during ‘my single years’ – enjoying me – as my own partner (!) – to the point now that the gap of neediness for another’s company is no longer there, but instead a confidence and ease of being with oneself.
You are right Liane, this feeling is gorgeous. Being content with myself takes away all the neediness to have someone around me or something ‘to do’ and allows me to just be me.
Yes I too relate to this and I love your summary Liane – ‘alone but never lonely’, so true!
Alone but not lonely and celebrating – and enjoying being with yourself definitely is a gorgeous place to be.
The loneliest I have ever felt is when I was in a group. Being alone does not lonely make, I agree Liane.
There is no better ‘date’ then feeling the yumminess of ourselves.
So true, before starting workshops with Universal Medicine I was almost always lonely, now even though much of my time is spent alone (which I love), I can truthfully say I am rarely ever lonely.
alone but never lonely – great comment Liane.
Spot on Liane – alone but never lonely.. How could you be in a world full of amazing people with stories and experiences they are just waiting to share with you!?
Superb Johanna. I like how you described a morning with no over drive, now that feels like a nice morning. And thanks for sharing how special you felt.
I can also see how simply this way of living whilst ‘on holiday’ can sometimes be seen as easy because one is away from the daily rhythms of work and home life. But, for the reader, what you have expressed shares with us all that it wouldn’t matter what was ahead for you in your day after this breakfast, the choices are always there to be present, connected, super joyful and in our stillness in any situation we are in. A simple revelation.
A great point Cherise Holt and it can be exactly how we think. As Johanna08.smith says “there for me as a marker to reconnect to”. For me in other words, let go of the surroundings or the when you did it and appreciate what you felt and what was going on around you. The more detail you add to this appreciation as Johanna Smith has added in this blog you create more around ‘what’ you felt. This feeling is with you, it is you and then can be ‘taken’ anywhere because it’s not because you were in “Fiji” etc that things felt like that, it was from the deep connection to yourself and the moment you were in.
The great thing about registering this feeling and morning with ‘no drive ‘ is that it is there for me as a marker to reconnect to, to feel and to apply any and everyday, especially when I feel a drive kick in- I know that another way is possible, I just need to make the conscious effort to be, to feel and to listen to what is needed next.
I love what you write here Johanna. Not going into drive is something I have not yet mastered, however keep watching closely especially having developed in the last few years an increasing awareness within myself and seeing it at play with others, of its harmful effect on our health, well-being and ability to simply be ourself. Developing our awareness and quality of being to be able to feel when the drive comes in and from there choosing to say no to it is totally life changing. I find those moments when we say so no to the drive, no to the “doing”, no to the to-do-list, and rather make it first and foremost about our quality of being and really clock in our body how this feels create indeed powerful markers that allow us to both renounce the drive with a little bit more ease and get more clarity around what is behind it the next time drive tries to creep in.
This is so beautiful Johanna, I love love love spending time with myself and I enjoyed reading your blog.
Yes me too Heidi. Thank you.
I find time with myself offers me the space to feel and ponder deeply.
Me too Johanna!
What a truly wonderful experience, spending time with yourself in the absolute fulness and completeness of all that you truly are – very inspiring indeed.
A beautiful expression of what it is to be in total harmony with oneself within a practical everyday activity. I appreciated the details from which you were with yourself Johanna, savouring not only your breakfast but your very own presence and loveliness. Thank you for your delightful reflection.
Absolutely glorious and full of self loving movements and gestures! It’s is an absolute wondetful feeling to feel so content and at home in our own company 🙂
Yes I agree Natasha and also so inspiring – just such as I love to invite myself for breakfast as well.
Love your blog, I am going to have a lunch date with myself in about one hour. I just invited myself and I said YES!
Funny and gorgeous Mariette!
That’s so gorgeous Mariette…how could you resist!! Enjoy:)
Haha – this made me laugh! I’m glad you said yes 🙂 I never think to ask myself questions like this!
I love this Mariette, beautiful date and expressed with such fun!
I love it Mariette. There have actually been many times where I said no to myself.
This is so cute. Love this.
To ‘date’ oneself so deliciously, is surely the ‘best place’ from which to date another – when we feel so whole, full and beautiful within ourselves, what a blessing the other person receives, and the connection can then be about a true meeting of each other, rather than one based upon needing the other to fill a void we have not yet filled for ourselves.
Great blog, thank-you.
Absolutely Victoria! Dating, falling in love with oneself, adoring and cherishing the space in getting to know us, as if we were a dating a partner, is the way to go. In knowing who we are, we are full and dissolve the empty requirement for another to fill us with what we (think we) don’t have. When what we have is love, then what we receive is the same back.
True Zofia. This also leaves no space for one to have self worth issues when we fill space with feeling and appreciating the preciousness of us.
Zofia, this is healing to fall in love with oneself and something I want to explore and surrender to more deeply.
I remember not that long ago when I really started spending time with myself. I began dating myself. I really began to fall in love and I enjoyed spending so much time with me. I’m getting better at dating me but to begin with I was a terrible date!
I couldn’t have put it better myself Victoria. ..”and the connection can then be about a true meeting of each other…”, beautiful.
Very true Victoria. When one does take that time to know exactly how to cherish, love and take oneself on a date, there will naturally be so many beautiful things to share with another person. It feels a bit like going on a date with an oasis – full of lush palms, cool shade and fresh springs overflowing with plenty of innocent fun and love.
What a blessing indeed Victoria. Simply allowing the other person to be, without the undercurrents of need and manipulation is such a beautiful offering for another. This is the kind of date that would lay a pretty awesome foundation for a relationship.
So true Victoria, if we can have that connection and relationship with ourselves then it completely changes the way we are going out to people as there is no need from them as we give it all to ourselves already and so the relationship is only ever going to be more and more expansive, building on the foundation we already have
Beautifully said Victoria ‘to ‘date’ oneself so deliciously, is surely the best place from which to date another’ I remember the first time I bought myself this gorgoeus card on Valentine’s day…to celebrate me. Now Valentine’s day comes and goes, no longer an issue, I’m celebrating me each and every day.
I agree Victoria. Great relationships come from two people that both cherish themselves and express their awesomeness. how could it not be an awesome relationship when people express powerfully together without needed to fill something for the other.
Love this Johanna! Your blog speaks of the quality relationship you have with yourself, something that I also from experience know to not come ‘overnight’. It takes time, and loving dedication, and yes for me also, the deep inspiration and living way presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine – so much that makes simple sense, and most definitely changes the way we feel about ourselves and our bodies…
To ‘date’ oneself so deliciously, is in
Johanna, I can feel and relate to how wonderful that experience of enjoying your own company. To have the time and space to connect with your self and the freedom to enjoy yourself. With the fullness of yourself and content to be in your own presence. Truly beautiful, thank you.
Johanna this was just so delicious to read . You have inspired me to have my own breakfast date.
Wow Johanna- I am feeling inspired to go on a lot of dates with a gorgeous woman I know.
Go for it Leonne Sharkey. I have always enjoyed my own company, in fact the more deeply connected and content I feel with myself, the more I enjoy the company of others because we can allow ourselves and each other to just be themselves.
This is absolutely true Sandra. I used to find it very difficult being in the company of a group of people but I too am finding the more I connect and enjoy being with me, the more at ease I am with others.
Cute Leonne!
Yes Leonne – every moment can be gorgeous date!
How delicious Johanna. There is nothing as exquisite as honouring ourselves to the minutest detail as you have described here. Thank you for sharing the experience with us, I enjoyed it immensely.
Thank you for sharing Johanna. I find it amazing how much I love having moments with myself yet seem to at times avoid them at all cost! I have to ask the question, if we can’t enjoy our own company how can we expect to enjoy other peoples?!
This is a great question. I agree and find that which I appreciate and have confirmed in myself, I easily see and feel in others b
Hello James Nicholson and yes a great question. You could even say could it be possible you can only truly enjoy the company of others at the same level you enjoy your own company? You could bring this question across everything. It seems to me that the only way to say enjoy someone else’s company is to enjoy your own first. Then from that lived experience you are able to bring that same quality of ‘enjoyment’ to another. Without doing the first part for yourself then what do you stand on? Is it true enjoyment of the company of someone else? or is it a version you have seen that works or ticks a box. I find anything that I don’t actually experience myself, in other words anything that I haven’t actually lived, is a version of that ‘anything’ and it isn’t actually true.
As I spend more time with myself, which as impossible as it may seem I very rarely did especially considering I was often alone, the more comfortable I am in being around others. As my self appreciation grows and I begin to appreciate myself and enjoy being with me, I can bring more of me when I am around others. To me it is an essential first step in being with others – being with yourself.
Well said James… I can totally relate to your comment here because I also love moments to myself but I also avoid them and find ways around them OR before I know it i’ve invited someone that popped into my mind. crazy…I am going to start asking why. I know that I could enjoy other people more if I first enjoyed myself on my own and got to know my quality more.
Spot on James – funny how we can do everything possible to avoid spending that time by ourselves. Over time I have learnt that this avoidance is not wanting to feel the lack of self-love I have not been choosing in my life.
Thank you Johanna, a beutiful piece on how powerful it is to be truly connected and confirming of ourselves and knowing that you don’t need anything or anyone from the outside to confirm that you are already all that you need to be – it being at breakfast or at any given moment.
I love how you highlight the power of being truly connected to ourselves. Knowing that we are enough on our vows is such a strong and solid foundation.
I agree Eva, these moments that Johanna has described in her blog are very precious and can only build on that inner contentment that can be the basis in all our relationships, and so not needing anything from another, but bringing a fullness and completeness in ourselves. This is certainly something I am working on at present and so I appreciate what Johanna has shared with us all here.
I love this blog Johanna and how it reminds me and my body and the joy in being me – we are precious in every moment whatever we do, be it putting out the garbage, working or having breakfast.
Yes having a friendship with our body brings a joy and love into our lives and so simple..
Yes Karoline, developing a friendship with our body is not something that is generally discussed but what incredible changes it can bring to our lives!
Absolutely Gyl and it is so much fun connecting and creaking the preciousness in the smallest if details and moments. Something I will continue to appreciate and unfold for the rest of my life.
Thank you Johanna and Gyl, I agree, the feeling of preciousness is definitely something to appreciate.
Too true Gyl!
Thank you Johanna, what a beautiful description of self-acceptance, appreciation and joy at totally being content with oneself.
That is actually a huge point Jennifer in a world where people are often acutely aware of how others may be perceiving them. I know that it is a very difficult area for a lot of people, especially women, who struggle with being seen on their own in social settings. So Johanna for you to not only not have not an ounce of discomfort but to exude fullness in yourself is remarkable.
I enjoyed reading your honouring of you and the spaciousness of the morning as you followed your impulse, without rush or drive to do something or be somewhere. The freedom and ease in your writing I’m sure reflects the way you were. And this stood out for me: ‘I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness.’ Too often we rush through meals, not savouring or appreciating each mouthful as the gift of God that it is. I am reminded to be more present and respectful each time I sit down to eat a meal whether alone or shared with others.
beautifully said, thank you.
Yes Kehinde, Johanna’s blog has brought to my attention how I can rush my food and not take the time to appreciate what I am eating.
Just the other day when I was about to eat my lunch on my own, which I am used to, on the front page of my laptop I saw the title of this article. Without reading the article I closed the laptop and decided to eat my lunch and just be with me. I noticed how I felt the strong urge to read something or do something while I was eating. I found it hard to just be with me and the food and be aware of every bite. Apparently I was so used to have something going on while I eat that just eating was very confronting to me. It was a wonderful experience. Thank you for the reminder Johanna.
I really appreciate your honesty here Ilja, how our spirit plays with us when we are not present – the unsettled itchiness that pulls us away from simply being…….the mobile phone phenomena is alarming evidence of societies mind driven distraction.
That us a beautiful sharing Ilja. Go You!
There is nothing you could read in he screen that is more delicious than dining with all of you anyway.
It’s amazing what is revealed when we stop and take notice of what we are actually doing in the moment.
I can relate entirely Ilja. I have always been ok to eat on my own, but the truth is, I’ve never been very good at actually being with myself. Always having my phone with me to distract me, or keeping my head down and eating quite fast, afraid to take my time. It’s an exercise worth practicing.
I totally agree, kehinde: I know I can lovingly prepare a meal an then just woof it down, thereby blowing the whole thing! It’s lovely to maintain presence throughout the whole process and, yes, appreciate what we are eating.
Yes this is lovely Kehinde, ‘I am reminded to be more present and respectful each time I sit down to eat a meal whether alone or shared with others.’ I find that when I’m eating alone I am more present and focussed on my meal whereas if I’m with others I can get caught up in conversations and whether the other person is enjoying their meal or not and if they are ok and I can tend to lose presence and rush my meal, especially if I’m eating with my son, before I know it my meal has gone and I have not savoured or enjoyed it all, it’s great to be more aware of this.
This jumped out to me also Kehinde and it offered me a moment to reflect on how I am when I sit to have a meal. I know previously I rushed through meals like one big in breath and over time that has changed dramatically. Only recently have I really taking the time to bring my awareness to every mouthful and can really appreciate that this presents which is forever deepening has a massive pact on my body. Also whether I over eat or not.
Very true kehinde2012, it is a true joy to bring such fine attention to how we are when we eat, so that we appreciate very mouthful of food, a very poignant comment to highlight. I know these days if I eat in a rush my stomach protests and I get hiccups straight away! I love how my body continually reminds me to take care of it!
For a long time I have been aware that I seem to snaffle my food down and yet despite my awareness I keep doing it. As I write this I am wondering out loud if it is indicative of a more general ‘moving forward momentum’ that I have in my life and yep I reckon it is ! I have managed to slow down in the shower rather than throw myself through my morning routine but there is still a lot of forwards movement in my body. I will in time address it as I continue to become more and more aware and in so doing change the way that I do more and more things.
Alexis your observations here are excellent.
That more general ‘moving forward momentum’ is something I can often feel and have to adjust also.
If its apart of my forward movement in my body then it is in everything I do.
That’s why I love the Gentle Breath Meditation. It stops me and allows me to be more fully with me.
Yes, I noticed that too Kehinde, this time taken to savour every moment of getting ourselves ready is beautifully described by Johanna. I used to feel so rushed by all the deadlines getting everyone ready for school etc, but I decided to get up an hour earlier to get me ready at my own pace and it changed everything for everyone. I started enjoying mornings and then I noticed everyone else relaxed and we were always ready on time – we actually had space in our morning for laughter, fun and catching up…all coming from me spending time with me first!
Yes Kehinde I love to prepare a meal lovingly so, but then eat quite quickly and not connect with each delicious morsel. Johanna’s blog highlights how one can be when we appreciate all that we are in every little moment and the glory that we are, while in our own company. Thank you to you both.
This is a great point Kehinde, that we should take time to sit and eat our food and not rush it as though it is ‘just something we have to do’. I sometimes find myself doing this as although I can give myself time to prepare my food, I don’t always give myself enough time to eat to eat what I have lovingly prepared. What a revelation!
Johanna, what an amazing way to describe a sequence of events and how you experienced them. I have eaten many times alone in a restaurant in the past and I never had an experience approaching yours at that time.
Yes, I agree Christoph. I too am quite happy eating alone so it is interesting to read somone elses experience which was quite the opposite in the past.
It is great that you are married, but can still enjoy your time on your own and not need to have your partner by your side.
I completely agree Doug. I would say neediness in every relationship ‘prevents one being fully oneself.’
Recently I became aware of a neediness within myself that I’d tried to hide. But it’s like hiding a cat in a house with the windows open.
Meeting people felt uncomfortable because I knew this need would get out and contaminate the relationship. I know it’s not greatly pleasant to be around someone targeting you to fulfill their need, like being asked for money constantly,and having to refuse constantly because you know it’ll be spent on furthering the habit of being needy.
I often do many things alone, sometimes with myself and sometimes still, though rarely these days, avoiding being needy around people. Dining out alone I don’t do because that to me is in a league of its own. I haven’t yet nurtured the loving of myself that I can feel in Johanna’s words. Dinning alone is one place I’ve assumed people wonder why would a woman be dining alone. So Johanna’s blog is great, it’s highlighted I have work to do on loving my own company every and anywhere.
Karin, what supports me to dine alone is the feeling that ‘I’m dining with and for me’ regardless of where I am, at home or in a restaurant. I never consider how others may feel about this. The nature of my work means that on my day off I often have lunch out and alone and look forward to it. For me it’s and self caring and loving. I’ve found two restaurants in my nearest town that are welcoming and warm, have got to know the staff and they know me. Walking through the door feels like entering the familiar, never alone, but sharing the experience with other diners and staff.
I’ve had this experience often myself Karin in respect to dining alone – ok at a cafe, however a restaurant is a different matter; but what better company to be in than your own – an opportunity to get to know and appreciate yourself. I was having a conversation recently along a similar line with a very wise woman and when people say to her “oh, so you live alone” her reply is “no, I live with me.” So therefore, if we have ourselves, we cannot ever be alone. It was a turning point for me as I also live “with me”.
Kehinde and Deborah thank you so much for your comments and wisdom. I can feel such a difference. Living with me, dining out with me, travelling with me and what great company!
Karin, absolutey! And what what delicious company you are. Enjoy Yourself.
Karin I smiled so widely at your phrase ‘ its like hiding a cat in the house with the windows open’.
I am beginning to think that this is the case when we are trying to hide anything about ourselves these days. As soon as I am even half aware of an issue, I cant hide it, and I cant hide from it, much as I may try.
It has been so lovely reading both your original comment and the responses. In particular I like the comment made by Deborah about living alone and the wise woman’s word and enjoy our own company.
I love Joanna’s blog for the simplicity and profound connectedness she has with herself, the pure enjoyment of making time for herself and enjoying it.
It is interesting to observe that I can occasionally go out for breakfast on my own but lunch and especially dinner is far more problematic for me. When travelling and having no choice but to eat alone I choose very busy places where my aloneness will not be noticed. This blog reveals to me another area of my life where I’m not entirely myself.
I agree with you both here; when there is no need for a partner to feel complete, there is a confidence that can be felt when someone feels comfortable sitting by themselves not missing anything. I do enjoy this feeling of inner completeness and inner joy wherever I am with myself and this is amazing to where I come from 20 years ago. This is true strength to me, being single but not needing a partner to fill some empty space inside. There are so many chances to have a relationship with, at the hairdresser, the supermarket, on the translation, in the gym, at the markets, everywhere where people are we can meet and connect and having a relationship with.
Yes this is true. We can allow ourselves to have this with everyone. And should we decide to deepen our relationship with someone we can bring it into the world without needs or expectations.
Monika I love what you say about there being a confidence that can be felt when someone is feeling complete when sitting with themselves. It’s more than just appreciating how wonderful it is to be with oneself. It is appreciating that we are communicating to all those around that there is nothing amiss with anyone of us. Contrary to the popular belief we don’t need another to complete us. But we are open to being in relationship with all that surrounds us without this detracting from the completeness within.
Monica, you’ve expressed this well. There are limitless opportunities to be in relationship with people everyday of our lives, we are never truly alone. Loneliness is the absence of a loving relationship with self
Beautifully said Kehinde – loneliness is what we feel when we don’t have a connection with ourselves, and sometimes we can fill it with comforting things such as food or shopping or TV; but really, what we long for is love, starting with how we see ourselves. I never knew how deepening the relationship I have with me allows me to be so much more with others.
Yes I agree Christoph. when we are needy we are only missing our own connection, no one else can fill that emptiness!
Monika I completely agree with your comment. I’m discovering, as I am with myself more and more I am with others equally so as I’m not putting up a protective barrier. I absolutely love the occasions where I’ll connect with someone literally off the street. These connections are just passing moments but they just show me just how much we are all here together on this planet and already connected within.
Today I was walking on the sea front and there was a crab in a bucket of water I went to have a look at. A man also approached it and the crab jumped and we both looked at each other and laughed. It was a very beautiful. Years ago I was so insecure I’d never have experienced this I’d cut off myself off from people so much. Often I did this by judging them just for their gender – male or female!!
I find that life tends to present to us what we need to work on. Some may be working with being content on their own while others being loving and content in a relationship. Either way it is perfectly configured for each of us. As I had a good 6 years completely on my own (a blessing and needed fir me at that time) where I was able to reconnect and deepen my relationship with myself, work through issues and claim the love I am; now it is time for me to live, be and hold that connection in a relationship with another.
For me I love time on my own now. In reflection years ago- I could never say I was fully content in my own space.
It was exquisite to read how you savoured and appreciated this time with yourself Johanna08.smith – it leaves a marker after reading it of how we can all be with ourselves at meal times whether by ourselves or in company. I also value the point you made just here about working on being content and holding connection in our own company or working on connection with ourselves and being content while in the company of others- either way both require connection with self it is just which situation challenges us more.
It’s great to clarify this Johanna08.smith because what’s important here is not necessarily whether or not we are physically alone, but the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves. This relationship with ourselves affects how we spend (or avoid) time with ourselves and with others, and this self-relationship is always something that we can work on, regardless of whether or not we’re in a partnered relationship.
This is an awesome observation Angela. It is ‘ not necessarily whether or not we are physically alone, but the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves.’
And this quality can build and deepen every single day.
That is key Johanna, the time we spend/live on our own to get to know and connect with ourselves on a deeper level so that we have a solid foundation for ourselves, this is what we take into a relationship, so that we can expand and deepen in expressing and intimacy.
You raise a valid point here Johannna and agree, in that there is nothing prescriptive at all about relationships as much as we tend to allow ourselves to think….because it depends on where we are on our ‘path in life’ (in this case, path back to our own love). It’s about learning to trust and embrace what is being offered; that the relationships ‘status’ we are experiencing is what’s required for our own learning/evolving. So with this acceptance we can get rid of all those stigmas, even curses we hold about ‘being single’ (or whatever our ‘status’)
Awesome comment here Zofia.
‘It’s about learning to trust and embrace what is being offered; that the relationships ‘status’ we are experiencing is what’s required for our own learning/evolving.’
Imagine if we all took a breath and let this be something we accepted and enjoyed. Then being single or in a relationship with another would not have so much judgement around it.
Thank you Johanna, this blog just gets more and more depth as a read the comments. I don’t often eat on my own but I will bring much more focus an presence to it now.
I agree. The comments add a superb depth and I totally love reading everyone’s wisdom and learnings and experiences.
That’s awesome Johanna. It’s so absolutely true that life presents exactly what it is we need to work on, despite whether we choose to see it or not. Sometimes it can feel a little overwhelming, but with one small step at a time, it’s amazing how much we can work through when we give ourselves the space to let go.
Yes it’s all about us not needing anything other than ourselves isn’t it?
So simple yet we make it so complicated. To accept the idea that we are worth taking notice of and worth developing this relationship with ourselves is so much not our normal that it seems odd to start bringing this into your daily routine.
Yes Doug, this is an excellent point- neediness does prevent so much when we become aware of it and choose to be in relationships that are not based on it. in fact it changes which relationships we choose full stop I have found!
Neediness is a true relationship killer. It stifles and strangles the life out of them ! Neediness is an oxygen sucking parasite that is never full !
I love your point here that even though Johanna is married she can still enjoy the time on her own. Whether you are married or not, in a relationship or single… anyone can enjoy time on their own, if they choose.
Yes Ariel, in fact it is really important in a marriage to enjoy time with yourself. I always say I was a girl first, then a woman, now I am in a relationship and now I am a mother but at my first moment I was a girl so I must enjoy my dates with that young lady as often as I can – fun, playful and unfettered by time. This blog reminds me that meal times can be those moments too 🙂
I completely agree Raymond. I don’t think I could be in a relationship now where I felt need from my partner or for them. Without the neediness leaves space for love. Feeling secure when another chooses to go off and enjoying time to yourself is definitely part of a healthy relationship.
Feeling needy by itself is fine. Feeling needy and being demanding, howsoever subtly makes things difficult as at that moment we are not truthful and not aware of our own love. The latter also requires your partner to remain very steady and not to let the demands affect them which is very difficult.
Christoph your comment is super helpful. To distingish between feeling needy and then being aware i have a choice to connect with myself and address what is there to be looked at; and being needy and demanding of others to do what only I can do for myself is so helpful.
I feel I’ve often condemned myself for simply feeling needy and tried to pretend otherwise to myself. Far more loving to be honest and choose to address the matter.
A great point made Christoph – being aware of neediness can be a great way of looking at our old hurts and anxieties. Such an awareness can also help prevent this switching to having expectations of others or trying to manipulate situations to avoid our feelings of need from arising.
Yes absolutely. If we can have such precious time with ourselves we can have it with everyone else without feeling needy.
Hi Ray, What you have touched upon here can change our perspective of ‘spending time’ with others. When we consider that when we are truly with ourselves we have a connection with everyone and everything this opens up a whole new way of looking at life – making it much bigger than a simple one on one interaction.
Yes True Ray – connecting with ourselves in this way is honouring of us and another.
Love doesn’t require 24/7 time together. The quality of our connection and the Love that we build remains with us.
Completely Doug, “neediness prevents one being fully oneself” – and when we aren’t ourselves we easily attach to another/others, which makes me think and realise this: why is it that we are not attached to ourselves? In other words, what is it about us that we don’t enjoy, or like. And then – find out (!) to then enjoy the re-discovery of ourselves , and, even fall in love in our absolute fullness, absent of neediness.
I enjoy what you are expressing Raymond about the freedom in relationships once we have developed a connection with ourselves, and from there a loving relationship with self that then spreads to be a connection to everyone and everything.
‘To absolutely enjoy the things around you’ Thats my rule now Raymond. Sometimes when out shopping or just exploring I feel i ‘should’ go and have a cup of tea or a snack. Then I stop and feel. Am I thirsty? am I hungry? Given the shops on offer would I enjoy the experience? If the answer is no, I know the feeling of ‘should’ is a challenge to do something others may do, and expect me to do. A challenge I don’t need. It could be just that I need to sit down for a while, so I go and find a nice seat somewhere and absolutely enjoy the life I see flowing around me.
Yes Rosie, I agree. It is so important in a relationship to not have a ‘need’ to have your partner by your side all the time. As a married woman, I used to really enjoy doing things on my own. so when I found myself as a single woman didn’t find it strange to continue doing things without someone beside me all the time. When this need is there we can become dependant on another and that can then lead to many expectations. Not a great recipe for a strong relationship.
Yes, it’s amazing how reliant we become when we have another person in our lives to distract us from the fullness we already are.
What I love on Johannas description of her morning Christoph is how w can see that one choice follows an other. The restaurant-moment is a result from all her morning decisions.
This is true, Sandra. Enjoying oneself or the company of others is always a sum of the moments you had before, your choices to be loving and connected to yourself.
Yes Sandra, our days reflect our choices, and so to choose lovingly and with awareness.
Yes this is amazing!
Yes it’s lovely to read this relationship with myself is possible. Feels really lovely and delicate like rose petals.