This life I was blessed with two brothers. One arrived 15 months after I did and the next 11 and a half years later. I have learned so much watching them grow up. I was recently reflecting on the relationship I have with the older of my two brothers and how special the relationship we have with our siblings can be.
As I felt the impulse to write, I realised this letter is much bigger than the brothers in my nuclear family. I now have many men in my life who have shown me that it is possible to be a tender and vulnerable man, and that to be this way is a true strength, not a weakness. These men have reminded me of the sweetness and tenderness I felt with my own brothers when they were small. In essence, although inspired by my brothers, and addressed to the older of my two brothers, this is also a letter to my dad, my male friends, my granddad, my uncles and all men and boys… all my brothers.
Dearest big little brother,
I know how strong you are and I know what makes you the man you are today. Although I did not take too kindly to your arrival, once trying to sweep you out of your cot with a broom, I did get used to you and I was very happy to have you around. We had many, many great times together as children. You were so funny, brave and cheeky as a child. We both faced many challenges as we grew up; despite this you have been able to hold onto your playfulness today.
I came into the world screaming and did not stop… I get the sense that I did not embrace coming in to the world. When I look at baby pictures of myself I see a very worried and unhappy baby. In contrast, you always had a smile on your face and barely made a peep. Our mum still talks about how different you and I were as babies. I was the ‘screeching nightmare’ and you were the easy, placid and sweet one. I do remember that nothing seemed to bother you at all – you had a solid strength that I admired. You embraced the world from day one and I felt safe when you were around. You made things feel easy and I wondered what I was so worried about. I feel like you were sent to be my brother to show me how I could have this too.
You were always so tough, strong and brave. Sometimes when we would fight, you would hurt me. Even though you were younger, we both knew you would always win when it came to a fight (and you always did). It was no fun when I was fighting you, but if I needed help it was so reassuring to know you were there for me. I knew that no matter how much you pretended to not care, you never wanted to see me get hurt. You also knew that I always had your back. Although I was not tough and strong like you, I was brave and I would do whatever I could to keep you safe.
Unfortunately it was not long before I found out that we would not always be able to protect each other. I can feel how we both shut down, in our own way, as a result of how hurt we were by some of the things we went through together. When our parents divorced you became so hard and tough, I felt like you shut everyone out. This was different to the natural resilience you were born with. Although you were born super-strong, in the beginning you were also open and tender. Looking back, I can feel how you protected yourself by shutting down. You made out that you did not care but I always knew deep down that you hurt, just like I did.
I realise now that it has been hard for me to understand what you have experienced as you have grown into a man. I think this is because we both shut down in different ways. You pretended to not care and I put on a happy face and exploded at intervals when I could no longer maintain the facade. We were doing the same thing in our own way.
Growing up, I observed that there were differences between what was OK for you and what was OK for me. You seemed to instinctively know that you weren’t allowed to play with dolls or wear pink. You weren’t supposed to cry or show that anything hurt you, while I was allowed to play with whatever toy I wanted and could wear any colour of the rainbow.
Remember when we used to play ‘executives’? It is so funny to look back on. Even the roles we played then were so stereotyped. You were the CEO in your grand, makeshift patchwork office made of sheets and boxes with Golden Books on the shelves, while your sisters played secretary and brought you mud pies and ‘tea’. It seems obvious now that the messages we were being fed about who we were supposed to be and the roles we would be expected to play were being received loud and clear by us then.
For a couple of years it was just you and me – not boy and girl – but it wasn’t long before things changed. Although I have always known that you love me there have been many times when I have felt judgement and scorn for me as a girl and a woman. If I ever called you a girl it was guaranteed to make you angry. You often told me I ran like a girl, kicked like a girl, cried like a girl… and even though this is exactly what I was, I knew it was always an insult. Later on I saw and felt the way you and your friends looked at and treated women and at times it made me sad to feel how my sweet, lovely brother had learned to become detached and cold.
I knew that you were not naturally like this. I knew that in truth you respected women and saw them as your equal, but… the world was not set up for that. The world showed you that women were to be used, ogled and controlled. I knew that you became tough and strong, and shut down to how you really felt, to fit in.
It became obvious that you cared about what people thought more than you ever let on. I always knew anytime you hurt someone it wasn’t the true you. It was the actions of a hurt little boy trying to cope in the best way he knew how.
Remember when our little brother came along? He was so beautiful and sweet. He was not as good at putting on the tough guy act. We were all so much bigger and felt like we had to protect him. He wasn’t afraid to cry… he even loved watching Cinderella and he didn’t care if anyone thought that was weird.
You were so gentle with him, but I could tell that his sweetness scared you… it scared me too. I realised it would be much easier for me to have another brother who acted tough and strong all the time. Our little brother reminded me how vulnerable and tender men really are. He also reminded me that this beautiful and vulnerable way of being is often shut down, as the world is not made to support men to be themselves. I look back now and can see I was afraid that he would get so hurt he would change who he was to fit in or protect himself.
You did your best to teach our little brother to be tough but I think you secretly admired the way he did what he liked and wasn’t afraid to show his feminine side. I never realised until today – as I wrote this letter – just how strong our little brother really is… and always has been.
For me, growing up with two brothers has been precious. It has allowed me to better understand what many men and boys go through as they make their way in the world. It is amazing to see you today and feel who you really are without needing you to play a role or be tough or strong.
It has been awesome to feel you relax in my company as I allow myself to accept you exactly as you are, let go of the way I need you to be and the roles I expected you to play. I know that I have been able to do this for you as I have been re-learning how to do this for myself – after all, this was the way we were when we were very small. I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more.
With Love,
Your little big sister
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Leonne Sharkey, Melbourne.
Published with permission of my brothers.
Further Reading:
Men and expression – echoes from behind the wall
My Sister and I
We are taught from young the roles we will play in life, it is as though we are given a script when we enter this world and we are expected to stick to it.
“Even the roles we played then were so stereotyped. You were the CEO in your grand, makeshift patchwork office made of sheets and boxes with Golden Books on the shelves, while your sisters played secretary and brought you mud pies and ‘tea’. It seems obvious now that the messages we were being fed about who we were supposed to be and the roles we would be expected to play were being received loud and clear by us then.”
Those people that have freed themselves of the shackles of life are the ones that are shunned by society because they reflect back to humanity just how caught up we all are in the stereotypical life we are led to believe is the life worth living. When in truth it’s a living hell.
Men are very sweet and tender on the inside, regardless of the rough, uncaring exterior.
I believe it is possible for a sibling to come into a family to support another as I have experience of this with friends who have children where one is quite unsettled and the other is so chilled. We all have lessons we need to learn in life as this supports our evolution so that eventually we will hop off the wheel of rebirth and continue our journey back to our origins.
Thank you Leonne, this letter is an inspiration to express our appreciation of each other.
Letting go of neediness allows for the expansion of appreciation and you have expressed this so tenderly Leonne in your love letter not just to your brother but to all men who have been affected by the impositions of society which robs us all of experiencing the innate gentleness of men in their essence.
This is a beautiful appreciation letter to your brother, how gorgeous appreciation feels, why is space given to judgement in our world, surely we all need and deserve more appreciation.
True love: ‘I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more.’
Giving space and just observing is what makes every relationship flourish.
It’s a beautiful letter Leonne and testament to the woman you are who was aware of what was going on around her for people as they grew up and were moulded away from their sensitive and true nature. I also appreciated the line about the explosions that would happen when the pressure of living the facade became too much, that explained times in my own life when this had happened to me. I had not considered how much tension I was in from separating from my true self.
Melinda Knights your words stuck a cord with me
“I had not considered how much tension I was in from separating from my true self.”
To admit that we miss our true selves is to admit that this life is not it and has never been it. We have misled ourselves if we believed this way of life held the answers to the unrest we constantly live with which is the underlying anxiousness we all feel. If this life was ‘it’ we would not self medicate ourselves with food, distractions of all kinds but would relish every moment of the day. How many of us can say they relish every moment of the day? Very few.
I have two younger brothers and I dearly love them. Quarrels and Fights are another chapter, I do love my brothers after all fights and quarrels we have.
This is a very beautiful letter Leonne. Lucky brother to have a sister like you to appreicate him so openly and lovingly.
Everyone in our lives is a blessing, here to teach us something, to reflect a different quality to learn more about ourselves to address tensions we may feel and to express and experience an expanding love with.
When we focus on the ‘what is not’ we are not able to see the blessing that is before us, however, when we open up and focus on the love that is there we get to enjoy the graces that life and people bring.
Appreciating the many blessings we are all given throughout our lives in the many relationships we get to experience and how often we can let things get in the way of truly connecting and embracing the learning that we are being offered.
Feeling deep appreciation for the innate tenderness of men as I reread this letter.
When another person sees the truth of you, the real you, your strengths, your amazingness it’s 100 percent life changing, we should definitely remind each other more often whether that’s by letter, text or email or we just say it.
Loved it Leone, the way you portray your childhood makes it feel real for me and I can feel the Love that you are sharing for us all as tears of Joy were welling within my body. I relate to every aspect of what you have shared and understand that as a male what females have to suffer to understand us tough guys. As I am now also becoming more connected it is becoming simpler to feel the awareness that will return me so I can be in full connection to the precious and tender boy I remember from my childhood.
Greg Barnes you are to me a gorgeous expression of what it is to be a tender kind hearted man. It is very honouring to meet a man who is willing to express his tenderness.
“As I am now also becoming more connected it is becoming simpler to feel the awareness that will return me so I can be in full connection to the precious and tender boy I remember from my childhood.”
Thank you for sharing Leonne, it is so beautiful to feel your appreciation for what both your brothers offer to the world and how this is true of all men beneath the layers of protection that have been built up in response to society’s expectations of boys and men which are gradually starting to be challenged.
” after all, this was the way we were when we were very small. I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more. ” This is lovely Leonne , how wonderful for your two brothers thank you for sharing.
It’s really beautiful to see that when we honour our deep connection with us and others, beyond any social imposition, we easily come back to the love and vulnerability we come from
There certainly is a strong connection by no mistake with your siblings (if you have any). Both my sisters and I know each very well. When we are not abusing this right of passage for our own gain, we have a relationship very enriching, playful, and confirming in love.
This is a very gorgeous sharing, to have men and boys honoured in this way and appreciated for who they are. It is very beautiful to meet a man who is willing to express his tenderness.
Thank you Leonne for sharing such beauty in your letter. “I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more.” This is an absolute all time pearl of wisdom to embody for us all – for our relationship with ourselves and everyone.
It did that for me too and this is what I love about these blogs, there is so much for us to learn about our own patterns of behaviour that, if willing and open, can offer a healing.
Lucky brothers getting a letter that celebrates them for who they are. Our siblings can see through the layers we put on to protect ourselves because they felt what we did, they saw what we did and we each coped in different ways. I always find it very interesting to talk about growing up with my siblings because we can all learn so much about ourselves and how we deal with things as adults – seeing where the coping behaviours were laid down in our childhood.
What an amazing thing to share, I was able to see myself in both your brothers as on the one hand I had to harden up to cope with all that came at me, but I also knew there was a tenderness there that I could connect to when brave enough.
It is very precious when we see and appreciate the real tenderness in grown men; a trait they have been told to push away and deny in order to become tough and hardened. This, at times, seemingly impenetrable exterior is not who they truly are and has nothing to do with real strength and power but everything to do with expectations, impositions and demands.
Leonne I loved reading this blog, I too have 2 brothers but they are both older than me. It is so sad to see the hardness they have developed from the ‘role’ models who knew no different influenced by cultural belief systems and expectations.
Its kind of the batten being passed in the race until one of them decides no more and drops it and no longer wants to pass it on to make other loving choices.
But I too was part of the belief system that boys had to be hard, they needed to toughen up, they couldn’t cry, they had to conform in such a way that they were the head of the household and protect us. And it is only in the last few years that I have appreciated that there is a tenderness which I would love to see more of and yet at the same time they are hesitant incase they are judged or called names. When I am gentle and tender and allow the space, I observe them to be different and that is beautiful to see and feel.
A gorgeous gesture Leonne. Whether we are male or female, if we do not honour our innate preciousness and see this quality reflected in all others, no matter how buried it may seemingly be beneath all the layers of ideals, expectations and beliefs we perform to and thus allow to shape us, we will create a divide within us that will externalise into the gender divide that is so prevalent in our world today.
A beautiful sharing that will empower men to honour and appreciate the strength of their natural tenderness.
As I read this it supported me to reflect on my relationship with my own brother. We were never close as children, we were always guarded with each other and it was a very abusive relationship. I have never been open with him since then and held him in judgement. The more love and understanding that I bring to myself, I am growing in understanding for my brother and the choices he has made in his life and learning not to judge that or to want it to be different.
It’s been a while since I first read this blog, sweet and powerful, losing none of its tender loving care.
This is such a heart warming letter Leonne and I am reading it again at just the most perfect time having just come back from visiting my brother who is 19 years older than me. We have never been close because of the age difference, but today as we looked through an old photograph album I had felt to take with me, I could feel a closeness that I haven’t felt very often, but which today I realised, was always there. Maybe it’s time to write him a letter and share with him what it has been like being his very little sister. Thank you for the inspiration.
What becomes clear when reading your words is that we are constellated to learn from and support each other. If we had the focus more on this aspect in our life, simply honouring and cherishing the many people in our life, I am quite sure there would be less struggle and hardship.
Leonne I love your bio! A beautiful letter to your brothers, and really to us all. Again it’s a moment to stop and understand more deeply what other human beings go through in life, how they react to hurts, shut down, and change in essence who they are. This importance of understanding one another is so vital.
I love that through the understanding and love inspired by Universal Medicine and the healing journey that is possible with these qualities as your foundation, that you can express so beautifully to someone…. offering within it the love and understanding you now embody, for them to be embraced by. Stunning.
Leonne, this love letter to your brother is gorgeous, I can also feel how naturally tender and sweet boys are and I notice how there is so much pressure for them to harden up and toughen up. It is very beautiful to know men that are coming back to their tenderness and gentleness and are not afraid to live this even if the world is telling them otherwise.
It has been quite a while since initially reading this blog and it is gorgeous to re-visit it and feel the depth of appreciation you have for yourself and your brothers. A profound and intimate sharing Leonne – thank you.
Leonne, I loved your honest reflection, expression and openness. Thank you for sharing your understanding around the changes that unfolded in your relationship with your brother. Life imposes the many tensions that can affect relationship but what is true and comes from the heart always finds it’s way out.
Thank you Leonne for sharing this love letter to your brother, it is beautifully honest and open and reminded me of the power of true appreciation towards those whom we are close.
A beautiful love letter Leonne thank you, it is exquisitely tender, loving and honest. What a blessing it is to have people around us reflecting so much for us to learn and appreciate. Your love and appreciation is deeply felt for your brothers. It is inspiring how you’ve expressed so openly about what it was like to be raised witnessing the changes happening around. These changes can happen to both boys and girls whenever we choose to shut down who we are and take on a façade that is not us; we ultimately hurt ourselves and others. Deep down we are all tender, loving and gentle, it is never lost, we can at any time access who we truly are and live our true self.
I cried when I read this and I am still crying, the sweetness of your expression has truly touched me, thank you.
A stunning example of the conditioning boys go through to become men and how they lose their natural, innate tenderness and sweetness along the way, perceiving it to be something to be pushed down and hidden for fear of being labelled ‘a girl’ or some other equally cutting remark. The world loses out when we don’t get the full, unexpurgated version of men and yet we crush these elements out of them at a young age by a constant drip-feed of our ideals and images of men, guaranteed to send their softness and playfulness packing.
I am amazed at how quickly and insidiously the roles, ideals and beliefs become ingrained in us. You were not necessarily told this is what you were expected to be as a woman or your brother what was allowed or not allowed of him as a man, yet you both picked it up and very young too and it changed the way you expressed, almost capping the natural innocence that was there at birth.
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this again Leonne and for a moment there I wished I’d had a brother. How awesome it is to have this level of understanding and see things from this perspective, knowing how your brothers behaviour has developed. When we understand others in this way it makes it easy to see past the armour of protection.
It’s sad that this world teaches us to be hard and tough as a way to survive when there is so much more that can happen when we allow and accept tenderness and the delicate, fragile nature of our being present within both men and women. It’s wonderful that there are people who are returning to this natural way of living and are reflecting it out as they interact with others in their daily lives.
Tears bounced out of my eyes as I read this beautiful blog from the heart, thank you for sharing Leonne. The bond we have with siblings is deep and precious, so many shared moments and memories, your appreciation of your brother’s love is palpable. I can feel how my brother (like most of us) has his armour in place but at the times when he allows himself to show his real tenderness I am reminded of the truth of him and it’s beautiful.
The bond we share with siblings feels to me closer than any other, yet it had only been until much further into adulthood that the appreciation for this love has developed and deepened, and has done since I chose to commit to a more loving relationship with me.
Leonne what a heart- warming blog that has supported me to appreciate how far I have come with my sibling relationships. The love you have shared that asks them not to be anything but holds them in your loving words is so embracing to read and feel.
I am inspired by your blog Leonne, to be very tender with my baby grandson, to allow him to be himself always, and to appreciate all that he brings, his joy, his playfulness, his determination and love for exploring everything around him.
This is such an on the money sharing about what happens to most boys along the path of getting older. How most of us lose that tenderness to fit in or because we are hurt and don’t feel the love or feel pressured in to burying our sensitivity because boys don’t cry. Whatever the reason it’s a shame this has to happen and I look forward to a time when tenderness holds more value than being tough.
Very true Kevin – what a welcome period in time that will be when tenderness is the norm regardless of gender. What I have noticed over the years of attending Universal Medicine events is the way men have become more and more comfortable with dropping the tough persona, in whatever guise that may be, and returned to their natural way of being. The reflection of these men to others as they go about their lives back in their own communities would be phenomenal.
“…..the love you carry as a child can’t be negated and the other stuff that goes on can’t really knock it.” This is a powerful statement and feels very true to me. This brings a new perspective to all of my relationships.
It is really gorgeous to read how through Universal Medicine you have been inspired to live in a way that has allowed you to let go of the roles and expectations that life has imposed on you and truly appreciate not only yourself but the men in your life so that you can now express your love, understanding and appreciation so beautifully.
It is some months since I re-visited this blog Leonne and it is as inspiring now as it was then. Appreciation and acceptance are the key words leaping off the page at me this morning.
Leonie, this is such an honest letter. I was really touched as I read it. It is sad when we see the boys around us shut down because of the way the world is. It can happen to all of us and what a blessing it is that we have had the teachings and inspiration of Serge Benhayon to allow us to see how we can let people and love into our hearts again. We are all precious, we are all love and we all deserve to be nurtured.
Leonne this is such a touching sharing and it reminded me of my relationship to my two brothers. I am more in touch with my sisters on a regular basis but I do Love to see my brothers when I can . We all have memories and joyful and sad experiences that we share with siblings, and even the same event evokes different memories and experiences from us all. Looking back I am very glad I have been blessed with brothers as well as sisters. Thank you for reminding me.
Wow Leonne, this is not only the story of brother and sister; it is the story of family, and the story of men and women and relationship to all humanity. you show a great understanding of men to be able to say: “I knew that you were not naturally like this. I knew that in truth you respected women and saw them as your equal, but… the world was not set up for that. The world showed you that women were to be used, ogled and controlled. I knew that you became tough and strong, and shut down to how you really felt, to fit in.” How many men can be described as the same as this?
‘ I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more.’ I feel when there is no need anymore we come to see the other for who he is and are able to accept and appreciate. Re reading your letter Leonne gives me again something to ponder on in the way I have treated my family and to allow myself to feel how much I love them just as they are.
Leonne, thank you for sharing your beautiful letter to your brother. I was touched by what you wrote, and felt that sense of responsibility, to honour and appreciate my own brothers for who they truly are and not for any front their hurts may put on.
This is superb Leonne, thank you for writing on behalf of your sisters. Letting go of the roles we pick up as kids that we’re meant to play, and getting back to our natural playful divine selves, is the return of joy – who we truly are.
A beautiful honouring and appreciation of your brothers and all men thank you Leonne. Not coming with a need and allowing ourselves to feel the deep tenderness and sensitivity of men offers them the opportunity to drop their guard and protection and be themselves in a world that has always shoved very limited messages down their throat about how they ‘should’ be in life.
This sharing is so beautiful Leonne thank you – a sharing that left me feeling into my own family and how old hurts (ideals and beliefs) keep showing up in our expression with each other at times. The difference now is that I can express from my heart and let them feel the ‘true’ me and to not hold back so when they are feeling vulnerable I can listen and not try and push my way of thinking onto how they should or should not be on their chosen path.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful letter to your brother. It touches me deeply when I think of how close I used to be with my brother and how far we have drifted apart. There is work to be done.
It is beautiful to be able to feel below the tough exterior that many men have in place. I can feel this in my brothers(I have five brothers). Now that I am truly appreciating them it is easier to connect to them on a deeper level and feel their tenderness.
Leonne your beautiful letter brought tears to my eyes and touched me deeply. It is so true and so sad how we (girls and boys, men and women) toughen up as you have described to protect our hurts, but really this hardening hurts so very much more than the hurts we imagine we are protecting.
Leonne your story has given me pause to reflect on my family, as I two had two younger brothers with very different personalities. The expectations placed on them were different than those on me, and their responses were different to each other, but both were and are very gentle and tender at heart. Thank you for sharing Leonne, there is much for me to ponder.
Your letter reminded me Leonie of the innate sweetness and tenderness both my brothers had as young boys and how I did not value this at time but saw it as a sign of weakness to be avoided at all costs because they were so bullied for it.
Growing up as a boy is not an easy task if you are a sensitivity being that has not an easy relationship with what some boys do because it is completely out of your natural galaxy. You have to really make a choice of leave behind a huge portion of what is naturally you to en-join. What is nowhere to be found in the fine print is that this process of fitting in comes at a very high cost. Of course, you can make the new life your way and walk and deny you paid any cost or even to state that it was worth it every penny. This is a choice.
Beautiful letter Leonie. It made me feel sad and I wanted to cry as I was reading this letter. I can so relate to it as a sister with three younger brothers. It has not worked to live in protection and reaction from my hurts. I have ended up with what I did not what and not being who I truly am. Universal medicine and Serge Benhayon has presented a different way. To reconnect to who we truly are and return to our open loving and gentle ways.
A Love letter to your brother Leonne, is a love letter to us all, it shows that we start off in life so pure, then veer off, but that we can come back to this quality at any time through developing understanding of ourselves and so another, where we know that the essence of us and another, remains forever untouched and forever there.
This is a beautiful tender and honest expression from the heart. It has inspired me to reflect on my own early relationships with my siblings and how that has shaped how we are together now.
Leonne, this will surely go down as one of the most beautiful letters ever written to a brother! There is a beautiful learning here for all readers about the journey the men in our lives take and how they end up so tough and closed down. It’s a beautiful reminder to still feel and connect to the darling little boy within all men. This will really help me in my relationships with men, and to honour and be accepting of little boys exactly as they are.
When we open up and let go of the hurt beautiful things happen Leonie. Your love letter to your brother brought you all back as a family. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Beautiful Samantha – I can see how my neediness has robbed me of the ability to have true relationships. It is wonderful to begin to let this go.
Thank you Leonne I will ponder deeply on this blog as I feel it will help me to deepen the relationship I have with my brothers and perhaps regain some of the intimacy we shared growing up.
Lovely article, thank you for sharing. I really appreciated this sentence ” I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more.” I am feeling this to be true in my life, I can feel how much more I am appreciating the true quality of other people, while it is also free of demands. I want nothing from them, I just enjoy being in relationships. It feels really divine.
Leone what really stood out for me was how unusual it is for us to express from our hearts to our siblings. Through your expression your brother can feel how seen he is by you and of course how adored as well. Very beautiful indeed.
Thank you Leonne for writing this letter. It brings up something for me about my relationship with my siblings. Reading this blog has made me realize how important it is to communicate what is felt when the opportunity is there. It has inspired me to talk with my brothers and share with them how I feel about them.
Thank you Brian – that is beautiful. I have felt this too. There are so many people in my life I want to express love for. While we are alive we have the opportunity.
Thanks Leonne, this brought up memories of my childhood rival with my brothers and sister, with so many dynamics at play and my mother trying to play ‘happy families’ . It is clear that although we all get along these days, there are still feelings left inside which have not been resolved and I appreciate the way you have gone to this place with your siblings to offer a deeper level of relationship. I am sure that such a gesture, no matter how received really, is very loving and healing.
For many years I had lived heavily invested in my brother’s life, not ever really appreciating the whole and complete person that he is, fully capable of handling everything that comes his way. Watching him grow now in to the man he always was is such an inspiration and I love being his little sister.
Beautiful letter Leonne! There is a lot of discussion around the roles of women and the lack of inequality still today, as well as the exploitation of women etc and very very little focus on the same topics that arise for men. Men, I feel, have had just as much expectation to be something they are not as women have. You point it out so clearly here about the toys that could be played with and characters your brother could be in your role playing. Men are seen as evil so often, and I myself have felt that way about them. But it’s only because we shape them to be hard as nails, suppress their gentleness and sensitivity that leaves them trapped in a body that is so afraid to communicate because they know they are not allowed to express themselves in the same way a women might. Crazy. And we’re all responsible for this huge stuff up.
Wow Leonne, this is truly beautiful. It amazes me how quickly and early the stereotypes are learned for our children. I have two little ones who are 15 mths apart. My son who is now 4 has always loved pink, loves to dress in skirts and plays with his doll and teddy as the mummy or daddy and recently he has told me he is growing his hair long. He is a very tender boy and so expressive. My daughter has always accepted him for who he is and never commented otherwise about this until this year when she has started school and all of a sudden she comes home telling us what boys should or shouldn’t do such as boys don’t have long hair and boys don’t like pink. The pressure is out there right from the start for these boys to not be truly who they are. I watch him come home from kindergarten with a tough exterior, pretending to shoot things and kill things, which he has never done before. He comes home with a level of anger and it is evident that he has taken on a lot from the other boys at kindergarten. It takes him an hour and a half or so each day to let it all go and come back to the truly amazing and gentle boy that it is. The world is mostly not set up to support this so it is so important that we allow our children a loving supportive environment to come home to to allow them to feel who they truly are before they go back out to it all again the next day.
Heidi, How you feel the essence of you children is very beautiful, honoring and really essential. How else will children know who they are if they are boxed in from very young. You must be a leading light for parents and people in general, that children are conscious people with their own choices…pink/blue, dolls/trucks, long/short hair are all just expression in a moment. What’s not to allow and enjoy?
Leonne your sweetness is undeniable, I simple adore your words and feel like crying, not tears of sadness but in joy of being part of this sweetness you share. Love you deeply for that, with love from Matts.
This is a beautiful blog, written with such tenderness and love. Imagine if we showed this level of tenderness and love towards all our brothers. The world would be a different place.
Just gorgeous Leonie, the way you write to your brother about the life you share and the relationship you treasure. The loving way you and your mum write to each other too is simply stunning. This is inspiring for everyone.
It is heart felt how much you love and care for your two brothers Leonne Sharkey. It is so empowering to read that you continue to connect to the true essence of your eldest brother, the sensitive and tender man he innately is, and that you can look through the hard bolster he has build for himself to protect himself from feeling the hurts he has developed through life. It is such a blessing to feel your love for him and that through this love, you can respect and understand him and you are able to hold him as your dearest big little brother.
A most beautiful letter Leone. Thank you.
Beautiful blog Leonne. What a gift you are to yourself and your brothers!
An amazing blog that shows just how much goes on in our lives and how much we react and let ourselves get moulded by it. Here Leonne you reconnect to that tenderness and innocence that yourself and your brother had when you were young and can have again today.
Wow. Leonne. This is beautiful. “I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more” – this really stopped me. There’s so much love you have for yourself, and your brother(s) that’s so beautiful to feel.
This letter is so amazing. So complete and true. The sweetness of our childhood selves. The gorgeousness of your relationship with your brothers. The barriers we put up. We are all the same. Thank you deeply for posting this blog for us to share in this.
Same. Tears here too.
I can feel such tenderness and love in what you have written, Leonne. I have three gorgeous and very tender men in my immediate life and at times I can feel the struggle for them to be and hold this. I have five brothers also who for the most part have “toughened up” to manage life but I can always feel the tenderness and sensitivity through the roles and protections they have assumed. It sits just below the surface and is just waiting to be connected to!
It’s really lovely to feel back to childhood and the relationships that we had as children, when we were more open and considering how this has possibly changed as we have grown up. I feel we can learn a lot about young girls and young boys and how we change when we become men and women. Often we let go of the playfulness, easiness, sweetness, innocence and tenderness as we begin to be challenged by life. This article is a great sharing on this, and also opening to the possibility of not needing to change any of this. Thank you Leonne this has inspired me to feel back to the lovely sweet and playful relationship that I had with my older sister and how I can reignite this.
Beautiful Leonne, open, honest and very healing.
Awesome blog Leonne. So beautiful. This truly is for every man in the world.
I so agree, Leonne, ‘it is possible to be a tender and vulnerable man, and that to be this way is a true strength, not a weakness’.
Your beautiful blog has inspired me to look again at my relationship with my sister and to go deeper. So often I find myself allowing my relationship with her to rest where it is, as it has improved so much over the last few years. However, what I am realising is that there are many little moments to reflect on and gain a truer and ever deepening relationship with her and to also explore my relationships with everyone. It feels more honouring of everyone to expand and explore all the hidden depths that are presented in each and every moment.
It is so amazing how close we are with our brothers or sisters and how growing up and staging up roles to fit in will draw us seemingly apart.
I had not even realized how wide the gap between my sister and me had become below the kind surface until I started to connect to who I really am again and made a lot of different choices than before. After a short initial period, where lots of confronting things came up that had build the gap between us, we are now closer than ever before.
Since I accept and love myself, it is the most natural thing to allow and encourage my family to be who they truly are – without wanting to change them at all. This has made us all open up and become close in a deeper way that we never would have deemed possible. We always liked each other, now we truly love each other.
Men expressing their tenderness is a rare thing, the world needs more men like the ones here expressing so openly. it’s beautiful to feel. Thank you Leonne for inspiring this.
Thank you for sharing your very loving letter to your brothers. You have inspired me to
feel more deeply into my relationships and to be more open in sharing my appreciation
of them.
Wow a beautiful blog Leonne. Inspiring to read and I can feel the beautiful connection you have with your brothers. Awesome appreciation you have for them and for yourself.
It is beautiful to get in such a deep connection with your brothers and family members and a great inspiration to allow this depth of appreciation and communication in my own family. Thank you Leonne.
I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more. Wow, Leonne, this just feels awesome because in these words I can feel how much love you have for yourself and how you meet your own needs, therefore you don’t need to look to any-one in or outside the family unit for any-thing. No ‘neediness’ there whatsoever. I know in the past my relationships have been based on getting needs met. So this also feels like it is the foundation for any and all relationships to be successful; love thyself first before you can love another.
Lovely blog – I reflect on my 2 brothers and how they were when they were small – what is sad is that it seems to be assumed that boys “grow out” of tenderness and sensitivity, when in fact it is an integral part of their true power as men
What a beautiful appreciation of your brothers and your understanding of who they really are. An inspiration to write a letter of my own to my brothers (and all men). Lovely. Thank you
All men need to hear a letter like this, to remind them of how gorgeous they were as boys and how this is still alive inside them. Wouldn’t it be great if appreciating men’s tenderness and sweetness was the norm and men didn’t feel the pressure to toughen up.
It’s a great point in your life as a man, when you re-learn that you don’t have to be tough, that you can allow the tenderness to be expressed to the world, that this is a blessing for all. Serge Benhayon has helped me to wipe out so many beliefs and ideals so far… many more to go!
Leonne, I love all of this with all my heart as I relate to so much you’ve lovingly revealed here. From natural beginnings, to role playing and then hardening up to protect ourselves as the world and it’s issues descend upon us. How beautiful you’re able to now just be with him as him, no needs to fulfil or roles to be played anymore. Such a very lovely letter for all our brothers.
Leonne what a honest and loving letter you have written to your brother. I have a brother and I can see his natural gentleness and sheer love for all people around him. I feel truly blessed to call him my little brother. Thank you for reminding me of this.
I am an only child but I have grown up with many family friends who are boys and I love catching up with them and constantly feeling how beautiful, strong, tender and amazing they are.
I’m inspired to get in touch with my brother and let him know how much I love him (and yet rarely express it), and to share that feeling around far more freely – after reading this letter. I always loved the idea of being able to read what people wrote each other, thanks for the opportunity.
This is just so beautiful Leonne, to express this to your brother and share exactly how you feel is truly inspiring. I am sure they feel your strength and openness, the more you find that within yourself. These roles you speak of which are so engrained in how we live, not only within the family unit, but with everyone. Thank you for sharing this deeply moving and honest love letter.
I did not have a brother but I have a husband and a son and both of them having been showing me that there is another way to ‘be’ as a man. It has been deeply healing to be around them and share in their tenderness and love. They also feel my appreciation. I have realised I have in the past been very resistant and hard against men, some of that is still there but it is minimal in contrast to how I used to be. These two gorgeous men, one 38 and one 3 are true blessings in my life and I am learning to see this tenderness and love in other men I meet in life.
Leonne, awesome, you pointed out that even when we are young we play stereotyped roles. Thats a great observation! To develop an awareness of how we at the same time can affect our children by acting on these roles and pressing them in a cliché.
What an amazing observation of your life with your brothers, with men. Thank you so much for sharing your love story.
As a man and a brother, so much of what you described about your brother, his tenderness and playfulness as a baby and then developing a hardness to cope with what he did not want to feel in life, relates to my life.
There were so many things happening around me that scared me, made me sad and most of all confused me. So, I gave up trying to make sense of what I saw and felt, of trying to understand why people were hurting each other, and chose to become a ‘good boy’, a ‘strong boy’, a ‘good brother and son’.
I became hard and withdrawn, and to an extent, took on a victim role. This lasted for the next 35 years, never letting anyone know the tender, playful and joyful little boy that I was born.
Then I met Serge Benhayon. A man that was working hard, had a large family, was running his own business and was totally aware of all of the harm being done in the world, yet he was still calm, playful, super tender and very open. He reminded me of the gorgeous boy that I was, and still am. He showed me that I can be all of that and more.
I recently turned 50, and my eldest brother, gave me a birthday card, from memory the first ever, and the words said “to the best brother I could ever have”.
Thank you to Serge, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon and all of the beautiful, tender and honest men that I have met through Universal Medicine and the Men’s groups. You are living examples of how men can live as the gorgeous, tender beings that we truly are, and the ripple effects are already spreading far and wide.
What a lovely letter to your brothers, both so different yet loved by you equally. It has given me so much to ponder on regarding my brother, who is 19 years older than me. I have always felt that he is a brother in name only, as we shared no growing up experiences as he had left home before I arrived, and that the only thing we have in common is our parents. But I have been feeling lately that we do actually have a relationship and have wanted to find a way to grow it, and after reading what you have shared I know that I will definitely be exploring this. Thank you for the inspiration to do so.
I just love what you have written here Leonie about your brother, your experiences growing up and what you have learnt. “I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more” is such a beautiful line Leonie, you are such a blessing for one another with lessons to learn from one another. You have inspired me to appreciate my own brother in a way that is not laced with anything other than true love and acceptance. Thank you Leonie
Isn’t it cool that we have siblings that can reflect that to us! The tender, gentle, and observant brother I have always reminds me and reflects to me what I can sometimes separate from.
Such a beautiful blog Leonne. I felt such tenderness in the way you described your brothers, and the love you have for them. Thank you for sharing this with us all.
What a beautiful letter Leonne what a shame most of us men have to lose that tenderness that is so natural. Although now more and more of us are getting it back and accepting that it is our natural way of being and it is definitely not a weakness.
Thank you Leonne for this beautiful and tender written blog. As you say the tender loving boys have always been there and that being like this is so natural also to men. The world is showing young men the way to behave and in there is no room for the tender and vulnerable men they so naturally are. And it is so important like you do, that we allow ourselves to see the same tender boys through the behavioral patterns men have taken on through life. If we connect to this tenderness in them we give them access to their memory of how they have been in their childhood and this will give them the opportunity to reconnect with the true and tender men they are.
Thank you Leonne for writing and sharing this beautiful letter. It invites me to feel into my relationships with my brothers and how it was to grow up together.
What a beautifully “real” blog and an awesomely honest sharing of how the world intervenes to break up the natural sweetness of children of both genders. I can recall therapists, bona fide therapists, telling me that I WOULD assuredly have hated my younger brother when he arrived and I was no longer the centre of attention. I clearly remember not hating him and recently found photographic evidence of this, which I would love to share with that therapist, if she is still around anywhere. It’s like we have this entrenched belief that we are all lacking and must compete with our siblings from a very young age. Sorry – this is hogwash. Where love, or even strong affection, is the foundation, there is no need for any such nonsense.
Leone, the last line really stands out as I re-read it this morning – “I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more.” Isn’t it interesting how we think we love someone when it is actually need, and when we work on ourselves and no longer come from that neediness, we can actually see the other for who they truly are and appreciate how amazing they are – a much more loving way to be in relationship.
So true Janet. Our needs blind us and we miss out on experiencing truly loving relationships.
Thank you Leonne for sharing your letter to you brother about your relationship through the years. And, yes, very revealing about roles that are imposed on us at very young ages. This called for me to reflect on my childhood shared with my sister and the roles we were asked to play as we grew up, which we did, and how they indeed have impacted on our lives as women. And it is beautiful and inspiring to feel how you to still today honor the tenderness and sweetness that you once felt in your brother which also reflects a truth about all our brothers, our sisters and us all.
It has been inspiring to feel how you hold you brother(s) in such love and understanding, Leone and continue to see the tender and loving man that is always there beneath the surface protection. Your acceptance as you so wisely say stems from the depth of acceptance you have for yourself.
A beautiful sharing from a heart full of love, appreciation and understanding. Thank you Leonne.
Leonne, how very beautiful. Thank you for taking the time to consider and appreciate your brothers for us all. I too have two amazing younger brothers and although they both know I love and respect them, I realise so much is ‘taken for granted’ and left unsaid. After reading your words my heart is filled with a deep desire to now express so much more of the way I feel, not only to my dear, tender, loving brothers but my whole family and all those I meet and have come to know.
This blog reminded me how odd it is that we spend our lives with others who are close to us, yet rarely share how we feel inside. I loved how you underlined at the end Leonne, that with no need, appreciation appears so easily. Theres also a super lovely part here in the comments to feel how your choice to express tenderly has supported other in your family and no doubt, all the other readers like me.
This blog felt like a true honouring of your brother, I can feel the love and acceptance of him from you. Truly loving thank you for sharing this with us.
Thanks Leonie.
This really is for all of us – all big brothers and little brothers.
And all little sisters. It moved me very much and the depths to which I care and love my little Brother (now both grown men in our 40’s) is being unfolded back to how we related when we were children. So open and joyfull and tender with each other.
The roles we are asked to play really do take us away from our natural way of being with each other dont they?
Leonne – what a beautiful way to start my day reading your letter to your brother. I was brought to tears – both by your graceful honesty as you expressed the story of your observations of your brother’s life and how he changed as he grew up – and by the palpable vast love you share with him and the many ‘brothers’ in your life.
A truly beautiful letter. I loved reading it. Thank you Leonne.
Thanks Leonne for sharing the letter to your brother. The sister-brother relationship is a great mirror to how we relate to the man/woman in our lives. I too have two brothers and from them have learnt that under any stereotype facade, we all are sensitive and loving.
Thank you Leonne, I love coming back to this blog, as it has inspired me to look at my relationship with my brother over the years, and also revealed the fact that he has actually retained much of that sweetness and openness. I feel that being a dad and around young ones has helped him stay connected to that innocence and playfulness in himself.
Leonne I was raised without a brother and knew there was a quality in relationships that men bring that I wanted to connect to.
Through male friends and family members I have got to feel the tenderness and sweetness they bring into my life and the unwavering support in allowing me to just be myself.
Thank you for this timely reminder.
What a beautiful reflection that has given me an opportunity to reflect on my brothers and all the men experiences that has shaped them.
You are so right men are super tender and just need to feel safe to be that again.
Awesome Leonie, you have deeply inspired me to write to my Big brother whom I have not been close to for thirty years and feel estranged from.
It was your comment on how you don’t need him to be a certain way for you, that really hit home for me, realising I’ve been holding my brother to ransom (so to speak) with my needs and expectations for him to be a certain way in order for me to love him, that feels awful when I see it so clearly.
Thank you for paving the way forth for true healing with my brother and for all family’s.
This is absolutely lovely to read, so so precious. What it so clearly shows is that we all put on facades to cope with life but the tenderness and natural sweetness that lives innately in all of us is always there and just needs a little nurturing and caring to come out again.
Dear Leonne,
At first I found this difficult to read and could feel myself resisting having to look at the way a boy grows up – I was the eldest of my siblings, I also had a brother and sister, and can feel how being a boy meant seemingly taking on responsibility and shutting down the innate femaleness within. It hurts to choose your head over your heart, choosing to compete and stay ‘ahead’ in the boy to man race. I took the time to read and sit with all of this – feeling how I am returning back to the truth of that little boy. Thank you for sharing.
Isn’t it interesting Lee how families are constellated? I am also the eldest of my siblings with three younger sisters and I took on a similar role like you, thinking I had to take on responsibility and shut down my innate femaleness. This led to me becoming pretty tough and hard even though I still looked very much a woman on the outside but essentially I played the men’s game. I wonder what it is with being the first born? Leonne is also sharing how she was the screamer and difficult one, just like me and the second one (her brother) was easy going, a little sunshine, which so fits the profile of my sister, the second born in my family. It is as Floris stated earlier, a great design.
This is a very moving article Leonne, it brought up in me so much sadness at the way the world can pound the tenderness out of young boys (and girls)… in fact maybe sadness is too small a word, for in truth it is grief that I feel, that the world is this way today and that the responsibility for that lies with us all. It is inspiring, however, to know that as each individual in humanity comes back to their own natural tenderness, others also are given the gift of space to allow their own return. This, I can smile at!
Wow Leonne this is a powerful and tender blog, I can feel how much I love my brothers and all men and boys in this world.
Leonne the love you express here for your brothers and for all men is beautiful and heartfelt. The message that I was left with is that we are all born with qualities that never leave us, we simply choose to leave them or forget we have them.
Hear, hear Sally. That we are all born with qualities that never leave us is something I feel myself and other men are really reconnecting to. The tenderness and preciousness was always there and never left, it just got covered over with all this ‘stuff’ we took on to protect ourselves and to try and cope with an unloving and uncaring world.
Recently I was looking back at some photos of my brother and I and realised how inseparable we were as kids, the grins from ear to ear, the funny faces we pulled together when told not to…We really need to ask the question where does that go?? It cant just disappear, its still must be in there somewhere waiting to come out!!
Leonne, this letter brought tears to my eyes, your openness in sharing with your brothers and with all of us your sweet tender love of them and all the reflections and learnings you’ve along the way. It’s inspiring me to share with my own gorgeous brothers and sister in a way I haven’t done before, to simply open up and let them know that us living together in the one family is absolutely no accident at all, we are there to walk with each other through those early steps in life and reflect aspects of a truth and love the other might have forgotten. How beautiful is that.
‘to simply open up and let them know that us living together in the one family is absolutely no accident at all, we are there to walk with each other through those early steps in life and reflect aspects of a truth and love the other might have forgotten. How beautiful is that’. Just Gorgeous Katerina….gorgeous and timely, and when we can learn to walk like this in our own families, we can walk in this way with all our brothers and sisters the world over.
Thank you Leonne.
Thank you for celebrating and appreciating all men and boys whether directly in your life or not… as through my relationship and experience with Serge Benhayon, Michael Benhayon, Curtis Benhayon and other men and boys they have reminded me of the deep care and tenderness that a man naturally is, however, in the choice to conform or fit in to being rough, tough and macho this is covered over but never lost.
And as you share so beauty-fully it is when we drop the judgements and expectations on how we need another or others to be, from dropping our own self-judgement, this natural care and tenderness can be seen, felt and experienced by us All.
Thank you, Leonne; this love letter to your brother is very sweet and tender and I wish I had taken the time to write one to my little brother. It is such a gift when we express our love and appreciation to others while they are alive and it truly enriches both sides, the one who is expressing it and the one who is receiving it.
Thank you Leonne for a very beautiful and touching blog.
The preciousness you feel from your brothers reflects a deep preciousness of the families we come with, and the wonderful lessons and reflections we receive and share. Which ultimately, we also share and reflect with the bigger family of the world.
This is such a sweet and heartfelt letter that exposes the very core of who men really are and how life around them shapes them to toughen up and act strong when they are naturally tender and sweet. I see this tender feminine side in my own son and cherish his delicateness and sweetness as it reminds me that this is who men naturally are inside.
Leonne, I also was blessed with a big brother growing up and I learned a lot from him. He was tender, sensitive and loving. I only had him with me until I was 18 and he was 20 as he passed away in a road accident, and although there were elements of a tough upbringing in his life, he always maintained a level of love and tenderness towards women I will never forget. I now know that these qualities are natural in all men, and if we are able to meet men with this understanding it can melt them in a moment.
This is so beautiful and inspiring Leonne, how you have come from a place of understanding and love when looking at your brothers and yourself growing up. I can so relate to this line with watching my sons experiences growing up – “It has allowed me to better understand what many men and boys go through as they make their way in the world.” It has made me remember the absolute inequality there was between boys and girls when I was young…. how girls could hit boys or throw things at them, thinking it was a big game because boys were ‘tough’ and didn’t care and it was conveyed as such a normal thing to do by society. I see now, that this was completely untrue, and how truly tender, sweet and loving boys and men are.
Beautiful Leonne. As many have shared here, this speaks so much of the roles we can don so early in life, and how our relationships are affected, as we ourselves may act out in ways that aren’t really, truly ‘ourselves’.
I can readily recall the different ways in which my brother was treated. There was an ‘extra’ hardness exhibited towards him that I never got and I always knew it was because he was simply male. And yet underneath, he felt it all just as I did, no different.
All of us have much to heal and recognise in the role playing and how it can diminish us and those around us. I do find it particularly pertinent to explore as you have done, how boys and men can be so strongly backed into a wall, that they feel ‘toughening up’ is the only answer. Clearly it is not, and such understandings can only support our societies to recognise what has simply not been ok.
Beautiful Leonnie
Appreciating your brother just as he is and as you say without any needing- this is a key point you make.
Thank you Leonne for this gorgeous love letter to your brother. It is an honest reflection of what many children experience growing up… beginning life free, joyful, delicate and playful… and slowly as we start to feel the expectations and hurts of the world we put on layers upon layers of protection to mask our hurts… hardening ourselves and distorting ourselves to live up to the expectations placed upon us. Many thanks to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for presenting another way to be!
Thank you Leonne a beautifully blog.
Leonne, this blog is so deeply inspiring as there is always another insight and awareness brought up within me from your writing and all the comments. The possibility of opening up to more of the huge love within me and bringing this out to share with others, rather than hiding it away as in the past.
Thank you!
Leonne I was captivated reading your letter, so much reasonance to my own life and big brother. I can sense there is so much tenderness within my brother too. Thanks for reminding me to be gentle in my ways and thoughts with myself as well as when with others.
Thank you Leonne (and to your brothers) for this open and honest letter, it reminds me of the importance of true equality in that we are indeed all equally tender and loving beings from our very inner core. In reading your blog it has given to me a pause for celebration of the deeply wonderful men that are in my own life – for they often remind me to allow my own vulnerability in life and in my day and to allow others to see the strength it really is to be seen for all of who you are – in any moment.
Thank you for sharing your letter so lovingly Leonne. T’is an inspiring read as I too have two brothers both older and now feel inspired and more importantly very supported in writing to them both. Just reading what you have shared was a healing for me.
Thank you Leonne for this beautiful letter. It touched me deep within and inspires me in my efforts to reconnect with my brother.
Thank you for this beautiful Blog. Having 4 brothers of my own I can very much relate to the transition from them being a beautiful tender boy to a hard and disconnected man. It is really sad to watch and feel. It’s beautiful that even as adults we can come back to how we were as a child. I love all of my brothers and my dad so very much and for myself found that when they started to disconnect so did I because I didn’t want to see then in this way. What I have come to learn is to let them be and just love them as I would and did have as a child, be open and honest with them – and allow them to do the same.
Wow Leonie, your words made me cry several times over. I too have a brother – and he too is absolutely gorgeous. I remember him when we were little, and how tender and sweet he was, and all the other things as well as he struggled holding onto this in the world with all the pressures that young men and older men today face. You spoke on behalf of all of us when you wrote this. Men have so much pressure on them to be everything other then who they truly are. Many of them are so afraid of showing their vulnerability, their tenderness and their caring nature because it is ridiculed and not accepted by the majority, and the truth is that this affects us all. Not just the boys and men as they go through life. Those boys have sisters, and school friends, and the men, they have children, and wives, parents and work colleagues. We are all affected by the crushing of men. It is just as well we now have a growing number of men out there breaking the mould. Men such as Serge Benhayon and his sons Michael and Curtis, leading the way alongside others to show that it is ok to live as a truly caring and tender man.
Thank you Anna for your insightful and inspiring comment. I can really feel now how -“We are all affected by the crushing of men”.
Thank goodness that old mould is being broken – Yes, Serge Benhayon and his sons Michael and Curtis are an inspiration to all and the changes I have witnessed within the male Universal Medicine students is glorious and so healing for themselves and for women too as we respond to their openness and tenderness. A beautiful evolving of men and women together.
Thank you for the beautiful letter, it reminds me of the beautiful relation I have with my sister. And how this can be affected by the relation I have with women in general.
Thank you Leonne, this letter I loved reading, and remained focussed through the whole thing. It also made me reflect on my relationships with my brothers… Boy I would love to also write them a letter one day, they also deserve it
This inspires me Leonne, I just read it for the second time and, again I cried! It reminds me of the love between my own brother and I and inspires me to connect to that again within our relationship! I can also feel I could uncover much through this letter writing process, and as I read it I felt the list of people I could write to growing and growing…in fact I have written some similar letters before, although they were perhaps a little morbid in nature as I wrote them imagining they were what I would leave behind if I died! That just goes to show how deeply I had hidden that love inside me, that I didn’t even believe it possible to share it in this lifetime! You have inspired me to deepen my expression of the love I so naturally feel for the people in my life! (while I’m still alive ;-))
Thank You
Dear Leonne, I have read your letter to your brother and a lot of the comments a few times. To share our love in this tender and fragile way means an immense healing for not only your family but all on this thread. I felt how I never wanted to see that my family is perfect as it is. I am in the process of getting to know my brothers again. Your blog is a great inspiration, thank you so much.
Reading this again I am struck by this sentence: “You were the CEO in your grand, makeshift patchwork office made of sheets and boxes with Golden Books on the shelves, while your sisters played secretary and brought you mud pies and ‘tea’.” It is astounding how the prejudices of the world are so present in children’s games, and how this is a reflection of what is so readily accepted as the norm.
“I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more” This last sentence is so inspiring. In whatever relationship we are, whether it is with brothers, sisters, parents, friends or partner, if we can let them be for who they are, accept them and don’t need anything from them, this changes the relationship completely. In my experience, i have come to learn and am still learning, that with some people it is easier to not need anything than others. It just shows me that with some people, i have invested more in the relationship and that the relationship from the start was based on needs and wanting something. It is beautiful to see that and to, step by step, let go of that. It allows me to be me, and with that the other person as well. But it starts with me…me accepting me and allowing me to be all of me.
Your brothers, Leonne, both big little and little little, feel like very beautiful men.
An absolutely gorgeous letter Leonne, thank you for sharing it. I can feel how much I relate to it with my own brother. I think that maybe it would be lovely to write my own letter to him to let him know how much I appreciate him, and see his true tenderness.
Janine i agree and its lovely to read the appreciation in the letter by Leonne – i found this very inspiring as it covers so many things that are felt but not often expressed.
I have noticed how guarded some people are in their communications and personal dealings with others. Then I realised this was something for me to look at too, and yes, I am still quite restrained and reserved in certain situations. So as I continue to appreciate others to be who they are, there is more of my unfolding to bring forward and express. Thank you Leonne for triggering this piece of enlightenment for me.
Reading your blog was very touching Leonne. How gorgeous your little brother came along to remind you of the sweet tenderness you were missing. It’s an innate quality in all of us and it is sad that we have built a world that doesn’t allow this in expression, especially for men. To be claiming tenderness back for myself has been powerful and very healing.
I can relate to a lot of what you have written Leonne, it’s great to read, ‘I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more.’ This is truly inspiring, thank you.
Thank you Leonne for such a truly heartfelt sharing.Very beautiful and shows the real gift of family and the true us as children if we connect to this in our lives and hold our sweetness and tenderness and express from there. With these qualities in both women and men we can be celebrated for who we truly are and let down the protection and barriers put up to cope with all we learn to be instead.
Appreciation is the key for us all.
Thank you Leonne reading this article again today has touched a deeper chord in me. I realise how much I felt that sweetness and tenderness in my brothers when they were young and how I know it is still there and how I allow the hurt of not feeling it affect me. As I allow the sweetness and tenderness in my own body it is easier to connect to this quality in them even though they may not be expressing it consciously or even feeling it for themselves.
Cherise I love the line, ‘ I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more,’ because I can appreciate it is what I have the potential to be with every relationship. thank you
Karin that’s a really lovely line and great to stop and reflect on it. When we let go of needing we can really start to appreciate. The opposite of what I thought love and appreciation was when I was growing up!
I love this line too – ‘ I no longer need anything from you… but I have never appreciated you more,’
There is a profound depth of healing as the neediness drops away as the appreciation and acceptance is there.
I cried pretty much the whole way through reading your letter Leonne. I am appreciating my own siblings more and further out into my extended family of humanity.
There is a real preciousness to this writing, I love how much you completely honour your brother in showing your appreciation of his tender ways.
Beautiful blog Leonne
This so beautiful Leonne, a real love letter. Inspiring and touching, thank you for sharing.
I loved reading this blog again Leonne, I loved the bit about your little brother watching Cinderella and it reminded me of a very gentle little boy I have in my own family.
Leonne.
Your blog is so inspiring, open and honest, that I keep returning to read it.
The appreciation for your brother/s is tangible and beautiful to read. I can really relate to having a sibling that is there to show us qualities what we can equally have for ourselves. That can be extended to everyone as we are all naturally love and the multitude of ways that can be expressed are shown in every single person.
Wow, this is such an open, intimate and honest letter, and obviously is opening others up to appreciating the men in their lives. I really can’t think of a man I have met that I can not see through any hard and tough exterior and feel the sweet, tenderness underneath.
Dear Leonne
I burst into tears reading your letter, a real rarity for me. It is just absurd the way I as a man have hardened, the very tenderness that is such a power instead becoming a threat that must be suppressed. Your openness and understanding of your brother/s extended to me. With love and appreciation. Andy
Ps, I am one of 4 brothers (no sisters) from a British Army family.
Hi Andrew – I wanted to let you know I was really touched by your comment. I can feel what a tender and loving man you are and just how wonderful it is that you are able to express as you do. This really is true strength and true power. What a joy to read. It really is a travesty that most men and boys are given no room to express the sensitivity that is an innate part of their make up. The whole world misses out when we deny men their natural tenderness.
PS. Your PS was gold!
This exchange between yourself and Andrew goes to show the deep importance of true expression. It is cherished and felt by another, and equally as important, it allows another the space to open up themselves and be able to express themselves too. Gorgeous.
Thank you Leonne it’s so clear all the roles that we take on throughout our life to be a certain way or do a certain thing. Then how this effects every relationship with so many expectations and very few people allowing us to simply be who we are (including ourselves!).
What you share is so true David. The prescribed roles of society that men and women have in so many different flavours can indeed dictate and place specific expectations on us. In turn they lock us into particular behaviours that are not nearly as awesome as the qualities that we all have laying just underneath these roles. The precious tenderness that all men innately equally have is a prime example of this.
Thank you again, Leonne. Re-reading this blog I was stopped in my tracks by your comment that you and your brother shut down in different ways growing up. This has helped give me a greater understanding of why there always felt like such a gulf between my brother and I, even though we loved each other. It feels like he went one way, and I went the other. And this gulf has never been bridged by either of us – we just left things as they were. Your blog has inspired me to revisit my relationship with my brother, even though a lot of time has passed and we live in different countries.
This is very true Sue, ‘it is up to me to develop our relationship, (if I want it to change)’, it’s great that you are taking responsibility for this, I feel inspired to do the same with my brother and sister rather than feeling that the relationship is as it is and is unchangeable.
Hi Leonne. I grew up with one sister and three half sisters halfway across the world – this blog was especially eye opening for me. I know I’ve met men before who have a cold, tough exterior (simply an end point, really) – but I’ve never really learnt about the process they go through whilst growing up to get to that point. You’ve also helped me to realise that I have more brothers than I think… through every man (in my life or not). Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you for this beautiful and touching blog Leonne. I have 2 brothers and 1 sister and although I have had no contact with them for some time I don’t feel I am missing out as I have come to realise, through the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, that my true family extends to more than just my blood relatives.
I found this letter very moving Leonne, and had tears in my eyes. It is such a real, simple and loving way to expose what can happen to men as they grow up, and find ways of surviving what life brings.
I really enjoyed reading this blog Leonne. I could really feel the expression of love and appreciation you have for your brothers.
Lovely to read Leonne – thank you.
Thank you Leonne for opening up a doorway into both my own childhood tenderness and sensitivity, with appreciation of the relationship I had with my brother. It shows that no matter how difficult or challenging my family dynamics may have been, they are all there in a perfect orientation for me to learn and grow. It’s like we are given the exact scenario and personalities around us as parents and siblings that will enable us to work through our old patterns and issues, and all we have to do is accept them and stay open to the lessons being presented to us.
Well said Michael, I love your phrase ‘perfect orientation’, as we accept the huge learning opportunity we have with each and every family member and friend we have grown up with.
I just spent the weekend with two male cousins who I have not seen for many years. I found myself appreciating them for the tender men that they are and remembering how sensitive they were as children. This sensitivity is still there, and the more time I spent with them the more I could feel that. I remember how they used to try to toughen up in order to deal with the world and what other males expected of them. I also noticed I did the same thing around family when I was young. When spending this precious time with them recently I allowed myself to be open and be tender with them and experienced the delight of their sweetness. It was gorgeous to feel the true tenderness of them as men.
I love this too. It’s so empowering and deeply loving for all concerned, you cannot help but feel the support this expression holds.
Leonne, I wish I could have written such a wonderful letter to my brother. He died many years ago, but he is always in my heart and I think of him everyday. Hopefully my thoughts to him are picked up as my own letter to him each day with love.
Hi Leonne, I really love how your letter has inspired so many people to write with such sweetness and appreciation for each other.
Great point Amina. This extends to everybody, not just close family. As I am learning to allow the tenderness with myself I am opening to seeing other’s tenderness and beauty, even in my work colleagues on a busy day and the people pushing past me on the tube. The tenderness is there but simply masked and protected. It feels so great to not react to the roughness by carrying an inner knowing that this is not who people truly are.
Me too. Not to be needy gives a freedom, to allow all our brothers to be who they are. No need for them to put on an act or pander. Its lovely to see their playfulness expressed.
I also wanted to add that in reading this I really felt that you were being a sister to all the men of the world in your loving expression here.
Dear Leonne, I love how you came to be aware in writing this of just how strong your tender, gentle little brother is. What a magnificent and admirable strength it is to be unafraid to just be yourself. It also has to be the ultimate cool; to not care what others think of you, not letting the outside world define who we are and how we must act. I also loved reading your update and it brought a tear to my eye for many a reason. I feel inspired to write a letter to a member of my own family, your words are truly healing and filled with so much love. Thank you.
This is indeed a Love letter. The tenderness with which you have written it and the lovely understanding, appreciation and embracing of your relationship with your brothers is inspiring.
This is such a gorgeous letter Leonne. Thank you for sharing this. It’s time for me to look more deeply at my relationship with my brother…
Dear Leonne, what an amazing healing opportunity this letter has created. Growing up with our siblings, we cannot forget the pure, simple days we shared together when we were young. It creates an unspoken bond between us, and also at times a sadness for the loss of that sweetness in later life, but it is always there and it is so wonderful that you have reminded us all.
Janet I agree – we’re all born with a natural sweetness and tenderness… it’s a great reminder that no matter how far gone we think those qualities are, they never really left to begin with.
Leonne your blog is deeply healing , yesterday I had a conversation on the phone with my brother and I could feel something had changed between us both, and then today I read your beautiful blog and the beautiful comments from everyone but especially between you and your mother, they were honest and heartfelt and brought tears to my eyes. As Michelle said we can not change the past and the hurts we have caused but by remaining open and honest we can heal and change how we are. I related so much to how you were with your brothers and how they are very much there to reflect to us our choices and how we can be. This is indeed a powerful piece of writing that has grown with all the very open and beautiful comments. thank you Leonne I will re-read this blog again.
So true Alison, we cannot change the past, often we look at it from hurt and judgment, which makes it worse. Only through Acceptance and understanding can we feel the truth, and learn form it. Leonne’s blog is a great example of this.
Leonne, you write so beautifully about your brothers, and the love you had for them. A very moving and heartfelt story.
Beautiful blog Leonne, it brought tears to my eyes as you have expressed just how precious tenderness and vulnerability is in a man.
Leonne, you have spoken so, with such compassion and openness that even if the details aren’t the same, I can feel it as if you were my sister and me as your brother. Showing to me that whatever the individual circumstances, if we all open up to our true tenderness and love, then we are all equal, all one family. Thank you sister.
Very sweetly put Otto and I agree. So much care in what you write Leonne.
I have four sisters and one brother. He is the youngest. What I have learnt from my experience with him is that I have often judged him by the standards that I set for myself – and more often than not, not living up to my own standards. We have always had a tricky relationship because I used to play a Fathering role as our Father was not around. He grew up and went his own way and I’ve recently become reacquainted with him after a few years of being apart. I am loving the opportunity I now have to re-establish a loving relationship with him and accept him fully.
What I loved about reading this today Leonne is that you relate your understanding and appreciation to all men – not just limiting the word brother to the males you grew up with. This reminds me that we can Love everybody the same.
I agree Shevon, it doesn’t just have to be our immediate family that we love and appreciate. As we are all connected anyway, could it be possible for us to see everyone as family and love them the same?
That’s beautiful Tim, yes it is possible to see everyone as family and love them the same. We are all one in true connection. Loving everyone equally is the way forward.
Leonne, what an amazing and deeply inspiring blog. It reminds me of how tender my younger brother was when he was growing up. He was SO tender, and it was so sad to see how the world affected him, how hurt he was, and the behaviours he developed as a result. Our parents divorced when we were teenagers and I watched as he shut off more and more and became so angry at the world. Your blog has made me stop and ponder on this and appreciate and feel this on a deeper level. Thank you
Wow Leonne, this is such a lovely article, I had tears in my eyes reading it.
I love this too, so simple but very powerful.
I cried when I read this letter and all the comments, releasing lots of childhood hurts. Thank you.
It has been said that it isn’t about perfection, that it can’t be, and this blog and the exchanges and comments show this – that a commitment to honesty and love, to expressing love and to continuing to learn is all that is required. I am so very deeply touched and astounded by the depth of expression in your blog and update. I feel that from here I cant but choose more honesty, openness and love in how I communicate with my family and that keeping things as they are and ‘playing safe’, (i.e. holding back love) is no longer an option.
Absolutely Julie. Well said.
Having read this blog and comments and what has evolved since the love letter to your brother, it is truly inspiring to see the changes that can occur when we let go of the hurts and express lovingly what’s been held in the body. It is a confirmation of the power of our Love and you have shown, LS, in your willingness to be open and honest it is possible for relationships to turnaround. Thank you, I can feel for myself it is time to become honest with what I am holding onto when it comes to sibling relationships.
I love that you have been able to celebrate your brother in this way and really express your Love. I’ve not had a great relationship with my brother till now, but know there is a wealth of Love in my heart when I think of him these days and how beautifully sensitive he is. Thank you for sharing Leonne.
A very beautiful sharing Leonne of your relationships and continued appreciation. This is opening up an opportunity for appreciation of my sisters, something that I have over looked. Thank you.
Awesome Leonne and what a gift to your brothers and all the men in the world. It has touched me deeply, as I realise too just how tender and gentle my brother is and how he has put on a huge amour to protect himself. It is so beautiful when we can see through the protection and meet them again in their truth, as delicate beings who deserve the same care and respect women do and have the same right to express their tenderness. Thank you.
I felt the same Rowena, deeply touched and it made me ponder on my own relationship with my brother and the deeply caring man he is. Thank you Leonne for this beautiful moment of reflection.
Deeply touching letter Leonne. The gift of honesty and tenderness that you share is so healing for all. Assisting us in recognising the roles we play that keep us from connecting to the love and tenderness that we all are. Your writing has certainly given me the opportunity to reflect and feel. So lovely thank you.
This blog and its supporting comments stayed with me the whole day yesterday whilst spending time with extended family, and I felt the richness of every opportunity to connect afresh in spite of some of the rockier times we have had together. In fact the whole day served me exquisitely as a reflection of the remarkable life changes that have occurred since I started working with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I am deeply appreciative.
Beautifully said Matilda. I so look forward to meeting my extended family and, thanks to my work with Universal Medicine, I can be more loving with them than ever before.
I loved this line too, it is so true. I am learning to do this with my younger brother and it is changing our relationship as I let go of how I think I should be with him and allow him to be who he naturally is.
True love beautifully expressed.
What a lovely letter you wrote your brother LS, you are and always have been VERY strong when defending yourself just with words! I admired your strength in this area more than you know although you didn’t always choose your timing and victims wisely. You said what you felt and meant what you said and then shut the door on any further discussion. You may not have always been right but you stood up for yourself, which was always my weakness, I would take it all in and l let it fester and then when it got too overwhelming I walked away. Walking away just caused unbelievable pain for all those I loved so much, but I just didn’t know how to be me or who I was for that matter, I was trying to be what was expected of me. I don’t believe in fighting, yelling where children can hear, you may not know it but I did stand up for you all but you wouldn’t realise it. I felt that I was always in the middle and it was my own fault, no one else is to blame. I often said to myself that I wished I were more like you, you at times made me feel like the child! I adore you, I love beyond life my children and I am so happy and proud of them, I am so happy you are all finding your way in life and that along the way I have learnt treasures from all of you. My heart just swells to breaking when I think of you all, I am such a Blessed mother, thank you for being the woman you are LS, you are beyond your years, an old soul. Your smile and laughter is contagious and you light up a room when you walk in. Thank you LS for your love, forgiveness, and sharing special moments with me. I think you understand me more than I do myself at times, I am just so BLESSED. xxxxx
Wow Mum – awesome to feel you express yourself in these comments!
Serge Benhayon recently presented that god does not forgive because he does not judge. This rang so true for me.
I feel that I am beginning to let go of the sometimes very harsh judgements I have held against myself and others (including you). That kicks forgivenesses’ butt and lets so much more love in my life and relationships.
Yes I have always been very outspoken and I could use words to cut people down like a weapon when I lashed out from my hurt,s but this is far from what I know true loving expression to be. I am now relearning to express the truth with love again. When I express the truth with love and honouring where others are at (as I did in this letter to my brother) my words have unbelievable power.
This is something we could all do as children before we shut down. This is something we can all connect to. This is something you can connect to (and I have watched you do it on more than one occasion).
Thank you for your beautiful words – I am pretty awesome. Isn’t it great that I can claim that now? 🙂
Writing the love letter has given me an opportunity to appreciate the beautiful family I chose to be born into, and the amazing parents I chose to reflect exactly what was needed for me to grow. Yes we all made mistakes, some huge ones in there, but we all did the best we could at the time. There is so much love between us and we have the power to stop holding back and start expressing it. That is worth celebrating.
These last few years I have felt I can be much more honest, open and loving with you and it has been wonderful.
I can feel your gorgeous essence and the truly powerful and loving woman that you are. You certainly deserve your own love letter!
You are precious beyond belief and you are worth taking care of and nurturing. The soul doesn’t look back, and your inner heart will never stop asking you to choose love. I can feel this for you and I can feel this for me.
I love you so very much. Leonne
Wow. The truth that every relationship is an offering, that can go as deep as we allow. Words so sweetly and honestly shared. Thank you.
Wow! What a beautiful sharing – thank you. It has shown to me the enormous opportunities we have to deepen love when we express truth.
”… I am pretty awesome. Isn’t it great that I can claim that now.” Yes absolutely and isn’t it great that Leonne can express this openly and honestly to her mother. This is awesome and I am deeply inspired.
”These last few years I have felt I can be much more honest, open and loving with you and it has been wonderful.” This is awesome. When we begin to develop a more loving and honest relationship with ourselves all our relationships change in one way or another. I am recognizing this in all of my relationships. At times there are some very beautiful moments and at other times it can be quite challenging but this is the beauty of evolving together.
Thank you Michelle for your response and I totally agree with you, our foundation can change and get stronger as we willingly strive to improve the way we see ourselves and respond to others with a open loving truthful heart. With doing this however does open us up to be vulnerable and like in nature, seen as a weakness and pounced on. This can happen when we are at our weakest point and be really devastating. For me I always found it hard to stick up for myself, whenever I did I came off worse for wear. I always try to open up to how I feel regarding the situation without ranting or yelling. I often find it hard to express myself, and get shot down by aggressive loud people who make so much noise that they don’t hear what your saying, they talk over you, at you, and down at you. I find this intimidating and embarrassing as I am a gentle person and I hate controversy at the best of times. However I think the key here is what you wrote that we can’t change the past but we can remain open, honest, loving and truthful to ourselves AND THAT will shine out to others without even having to use words. This blog has really touched my heart and I feel stronger each time I read these comments of love, beautifully expressed and received.
Dear Leonne and Miria, I feel very moved by the love you both have for each other and how you have shared the healing that has happened which can be seen just within these comments. I feel there are many similarities within my relationship with my mother. There has been so much healing since I am letting go of the judgments I have held about her, myself and the rest of my family and the world for that matter. Letting go of these judgments has been a real blessing because without them, I am able to see more clearly how beautiful my mother is and the qualities she brings to my life and those around her. I am beginning to appreciate this in myself too which is very beautiful. Thank you both for your sharing.
Dear Miria & Leonne,
To Read your responses to each other is truly heart warming, to feel the love you have for each other is in expressible. Thank you both for freely sharing your feelings with such openness. The tenderness and honour you each feel for the other is truly beautiful.
Wow! Miria’s honesty here is amazing and very beautiful. The comment brought many tears; tears of confirmation bringing much understanding. Thank you Miria for openly expressing.
This is beautiful Monica, thank you.
An update. This blog has had such an amazing ripple effect. This is evident in the comments above and in the changes I have seen and felt in my relationships with my family and beyond.
When I wrote this I cried solidly for 4 hours releasing so many childhood hurts and sadness from my body. A sadness many of us hold but don’t pause long enough to allow ourselves to feel.
I originally intended to write this piece and share it anonymously without sharing it with my brothers, This gave me the freedom to say exactly what I felt, however, before the blog was published I found the gorgeous picture above in a very unexpected way and a series of events led me to contact both my brothers, share this with them and publish the blog and photo with their permission.
The brother to who this letter is written felt the love in this letter very deeply. He told me he cried as he read it and felt the truth in the words. He has continued to connect to his innate tenderness and it has been a joy to behold. My younger brother and I continue to evolve our relationship, he read the blog and made no comment, however, I can feel a new openness between us since it was shared.
My mum stumbled across this blog recently on Facebook as result of the recent comments. She reported that she too cried for hours. For her it was a process of letting go and acknowledging her own childhood hurts. I had no idea she held so much guilt for the way we shut down. I feel many parents do this. We discussed my mum’s relationship with her parents and the fact that the whole world does not support us to connect to ourselves and stay tender. She could feel the love and complete lack of blame. She has begun to let go of the guilt she carries and our connection has deepened as a result. So amazing!
I thought this was a love letter for men but have now seen and felt it is a love letter for us all. One that brings a tear to my eye every time I read it. A letter with extraordinary power. A huge thank you to those who commented for inspiring me to revisit this blog and deepening the healing it brings.
Beautifully said Leonne, your openness and love helps heal all kinds of emotional wounds. I am so proud of the woman you are, you always have lit up my life and I see you have done so to so many others, what a blessing you are. I love you my sweet daughter.
Dear Leonne – this is a beautiful and deeply touching writing. Your update of the ripple effects is inspiring beyond measure and I am still feeling the effect of this in my own body and there are some deeper hurts to feel and heal for myself.
Yes, this is absolutely a love letter for us all – a letter to read many times over. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly.
“I thought this was a love letter for men but have now seen and felt it is a love letter for us all. One that brings a tear to my eye every time I read it. A letter with extraordinary power”.
Yes I absolutely agree, this is a love letter for us all and a letter with extraordinary power which I will certainly re-visit.
Dear Leonne, I have read your blog before, but have never before read the update. So, so beautiful. I to recently found myself sharing another blog with the men in my life and like you the sharing has deepened my relationship with them and it has absolutely been one of the best things that I have ever done.
My brother has always appeared to me as very aloof but I know deep down he cares and he knows I love him. You have inspired me Leonie and Mary to express this in a letter to my brother and try to connect at a deeper level. Thank you for the inspiration.
Thank you Leonne. I too have felt the ripple effect of your love letter. I have made a deeper and stronger re-connection to my brother. We were very close as young children but had rather drifted apart as he lives in a different country but we are both enjoying the loving connection of being siblings again.
Leonne, thank you for sharing and offering us an opportunity to heal our hurts that we may have from our childhood… your update has brought much healing to me.
When I first read Leonne’s letter to her brother I could feel a lot of resistance and hardness in my body… I simply didn’t want to feel but when I read this deeply touching reply I cried. Now I feel much more open with my brother and with my mother too – more natural and very beautiful.
I am deeply touched by the openness, love and tenderness of your love letter to your brother. Thank you for sharing.
Hi LS, this is very sweet and a wonderful reminder about how we ‘secretly know’.
A really beauty-full letter to read. It reminds me that no matter what happens or what we go through with our relationships it can always come back to True Love and a deeper understanding of ourselves and another.
Thank you LS for sharing your relationship with your brother. I was moved by your words and sensitive understanding. A lot to ponder on. I have always seen my brother as a sensitive man who hides behind a protective barrier. Our relationship has not always been easy. Your article is awesome and one to re-read many times!
This is a very sweet tale of love and tenderness and the tragedy that befalls most men and women as we protect ourselves from getting hurt. It is an oxymoron as it stops us from the very thing we come in naturally wanting and being LOVE. It is gorgeous to feel how you have shifted from the protection to see the beauty that never left you in your relationships with the men in your life.
Beautifully said Vanessa. It is a tragedy and definitely oxymoron. And so very gorgeous to feel the shift from protection to appreciation and be able to say “It has been awesome to feel you relax in my company as I allow myself to accept you exactly as you are”.
Vanessa, I love how you’ve said it is , ‘ the beauty that never left you in your relationships with the men in your life.’ I am left pondering that the beauty, once we forgo our attempts at protecting ourselves, awaits us all in all our relationships. I know I am blessed to know my brother and feel what a gorgeous , tender, loving man he truly is, whether he chooses to express that or not.
Agree Vanessa, the beauty is that Leonne remembers the true gorgeousness and tenderness and connects to this feeling and lives her relationship with her brothers, and from there with all men from this love we all carry inside and not from the hurt that put us into protection. Very inspiring, thank you for this beautiful sharing Leonne.
This is beautiful, thank you. It brings tears to my eyes as I feel the honesty and openness with which you write and the way your words resonate so much with me also… although some of the content is different, the feeling is the same. I have two bothers and a half brother who did not live with us. One brother is a couple of years younger, the other eight years younger. My half brother 10 years older. I was the one who never cried and was sweet and everyone adored as a baby while my younger brother cried a lot of the time and was quite obstreperous at times yet underneath really tender and sweet. The relationships with my brothers have changed a lot too and this piece of writing is inspiring me to continue to establish and deepen the new loving ways that we communicate with each other. Lovely L.S.
This is a beautiful letter LS. I have an older brother and I feel inspired to write on to him. Thank you. This line really flew out for me: “You made things feel easy and I wondered what I was so worried about. I feel like you were sent to be my brother to show me how I could have this too.” Such truth is deeply felt.
Yes, the love here is gorgeous. For me it goes beyond a relationship between two people because it expresses the love that holds us all. A love that brings us the people and the lessons that will help us grow.
What a beautiful blog. Thank you for sharing.
This is just beautiful. Thank you for reminding me how tender I am, and we all are.
This is beautiful, the true tenderness and sensitivity can be felt through your words. How many of us, both men and women shut down in our own ways – some by becoming introverted, some by playing the smiling clown, some by being hard and keeping everybody out, every which way, so we are no longer open to feeling ourselves and others. It is great to rediscover the truth of who we are.
I have read this blog several times and each time I have been moved to cry. We – all of us – are hurt deeply in one form or another by the world which does not represent or honour who we deep down know ourselves to be. And then our ways of coping tend to also hurt ourselves and others – and so the game goes on. I am touched by the tenderness in which you observe and describe this and show that there is a different way. Very beautiful.
Thank you. This is so beautiful. Each time I read a blog on this site I remember how tender we all are and how I choose to forget this when I go out into the world still choosing to fight and try hard. Thank you for reminding us of the sensitivity and tenderness we all hold. This also reminds me that when others act hard and tough they are only really covering hurts too and inside they are just as sensitive and tender as me. Thank you.
Celebrating the tenderness that is always there and understanding why we do not live and express it all the time.
Thank you.
Perfectly said, a beautiful and heartfelt piece.
A beautiful tender expression of love. I am inspired to reflect on my relationship with my own brother and sister. Thank you.
I too am inspired to ponder on all the things to appreciate in my relationship with my older brothers and sister, instead of focusing on the negative and putting blame of them for my childhood hurts. Time to let them go and let love be the unifying, and healing factor in my relationships.
What a lovely and tender letter to write. It’s great to see how things can come around full circle and great as a man to read another perspective on what it’s like to fall into those stereotypical roles at such a young age.
How beautiful the letter is written and shared, touched my heart.
What a beautiful letter, celebrating, and in total respect, of men and the pressures they face in life, thank you.
You have made a great point there Rebecca that really stuck out for me “in total respect of men”, as I could feel how often we disrespect and dismiss men for being gentle and tender, and how much that must hurt them.
And this is such a fear for most men, to be ridiculed for being gentle or tender, as it is not the way we have been brought up by society to be. Every message we are given from every angle says being gentle is a weakness and that you are lesser because of this and that a real man is hard and tough. To live as a gentle tender expressive man in the world requires us to act completely against the norms of society. And that takes a true strength I am only now beginning to appreciate.
I love this, words of truth can sometimes be difficult to hear, but all you can feel is your love through their delivery, and as you say, the appreciation and acceptance of your brother for whom he truly is and where he is at.
This is so beauty-full and inspires me to share with my brother and other men in my life my appreciation for their tenderness and strength. Thank you.
Likewise Helen – thank you Leonne. It’s lovely to read how you have been so honest and loving with your brothers. I have a brother who I have lost touch with, and your tender words here really inspire me to start to build that relationship again. It is much appreciated! And also to see and respect men in a totally different way – in their tenderness .
Thank you for sharing. It’s sad that most if not all of us in society experience shutting down as we grow up and how we watch as our siblings do the same maybe with different types of protection, but all to ultimately to shut down from our feelings and cling to a sense of belonging whatever that may be. Your blog reminds us of how it is to feel our own tenderness.
So true Samantha, so many of us shut have down in society as we were growing up and saw our family and friends do the same.
Yes Samantha, Amita & Amina, great that we are changing our choosing to return to being beautiful, bright, loving, tender and caring. And through this we are reflecting to every one else that there is a way different to the shutting down. And it is simple, accessible and normal.
And yet it is so simple to be ourselves and see the love that others are. It is indeed very sad that we hold ourselves back so much. It has something to do with time I’m sure and I feel that the moments we have together are to be appreciated and that we don’t have to wait until later until we think things will be fixed for us. By this I mean, yes we have no control over what someone does but boy oh boy do we enjoy that love that we innately feel in others. That of course is true protection. It’s understandable that someone would want to fit in as their light is so amazing even they can’t handle themselves!
Perfectly described Samantha.
LS what a beautiful letter! Really excellent view of men starting out so sweet and vulnerable and ending up so hard. We all have our stories or trauma and things that have “happened to us” and they are all relative to the individual but the way you have reminded me that it’s understandable for our boys to be hard as a result and that in that acceptance they will feel no need from us and in response will begin to come back to themselves. Brilliant! I will give this a go from today!
I have also learnt that I never had anything to lose in letting go of how I thought others and also myself should be in the family and that has opened up to true wonders at times, although not held everyday it is a moment that presents a marker permanently for the way we can feel how love CAN be truly expressed in our families and beyond, even to people who are not as close or with us 24/7.
Family dynamics can be such an amazing learning process. I agree Rhiannon with what you say about how I thought others and myself should be in the family. It is an ever evolving process of understanding the perfection of it all.
Love it – life is medicine
Interesting Rhiannon…. Letting go of what we expect ourselves and or others in the family to be like…. This could also be useful for me to try. I have recently noticed how caught up I get in trying to make sure everyone is happy (at rare family gatherings) and in the meantime I totally lose myself and have a rubbish time! There’s a clue in there somewhere…!
A great point, Rhiannon… you don’t need to be in frequent contact with someone to have love for them.
Yes Rachael, I agree. I really like Leonne’s blog – so sweet and so respectful at the same time. Clearly written with love.
It is always wonderful to see boys act in a tender, gentle way and very special if we can express that and show that as men. As a man it is truly special to hold that tenderness and reflect it to others, no matter how uncomfortable it might be for them to feel. Thank you for sharing.
In huge appreciation of men and their natural tenderness. Thank you for sharing and reflecting this tenderness, which forever dissolves the gender battle and supports women to expand fully into their natural energy of nurturing.
I agree thank you for sharing and reflecting the tenderness.
Beautifully expressed, Stephen. Thank you. And Ariana, “This blog and the comments feel like its a great call out that men are far more than the hard guys’ who take life on the chin. A well called for and timely piece Leonie.” is so true.
I agree Stephen – it is very beautiful to observe and feel men honour and express in their tenderness, when they do I just completely melt and any hardness or protection I am in or have been carrying just goes, I can’t help but feel my tenderness too.
I agree Ariana, this blog exposes the tough exterior of any man as a completely false put on, a layer of armor and has nothing to do with his true nature.
Hear hear Stephen. I didn’t grow up with any brothers and don’t recall a lot of examples where I felt this gentleness being expressed, however in recent years I have been blessed to get to know more and more men being, and not shying away, from the tenderness they naturally are. I also see many of these men whose young sons are being raised in celebration (& not denial) of these qualities which is very inspiring and as a woman, invites me to deepen my own gentleness.
Thank you for a beautiful sharing through a True love letter from a woman who’s reflecting on the bond and relationship with her brother. What’s touching for me is that it allowed me to come in contact with the Love I hold for my brother and sister. And I also realise that our family is designed and just perfect the way it is ‘designed’. I can feel that there is magic in it, and that there’s a depth in it that I haven’t considered / felt before. It feels as if I’ve opened up a gateway to something Heavenly spectacular and precious, and it gives a true joy and curiosity to explore this further. Together with others this could and will be so much fun.
Like you, Floris, I too found this article very touching and opened a connection to not only feel the love I hold for my brother but also his for me. That feels very enveloping like a warm blanket with a depth that we do not share and express openly to each other. From this, though, I feel inspired to express this more openly to him.
Floris what you shared was so touching “our family is designed just perfect the way it is ‘designed'”. This has allowed me to connect and appreciate my family. I have four sisters and we are all very close, I would not change this. I am very fortunate and can really appreciate how loving my family is and how we are there for each other in sickness and health. My parents are the same always their for us.
This is lovely to read Floris, “And I also realise that our family is designed and just perfect the way it is ‘designed’. I can feel that there is magic in it”. I have held a lot of judgement about my family in the past and it feels truly inspiring to read your comment, I will ponder on this.
I shall ponder on this too Rebecca. Families are precious and a great reflection of where we are at within ourselves and can offer great healing for everyone should we choose to accept, appreciate and bring love back, which never truly went anywhere in the first place.
Like you Rebecca, I too have held judgement and criticism about my family growing up, but Floris has made me ponder more deeply on why I was born into the family that I did.
Perhaps is has been divinely designed that way and there is magic to be felt in it.
Thank you, Floris. This is something I am beginning to really appreciate in my family also – “I also realise that our family is designed and just perfect the way it is ‘designed’. I can feel that there is magic in it, and that there’s a depth in it that I haven’t considered / felt before.” It is amazing to feel why my family members are born into this particular family and touch into the purpose of being together.
Likewise. It is so freeing to see it like this. To see why we have come together and yes to see the magic in this union. Beautiful writing Leonne, thank you.
Yes, united families provide so much support for each other at those challening times in life and united families provide reflection, growth and lots of learning, learning to express fully who we are and that we are all equal in the family unit and we all bring an equal contribution.
Floris I experienced that too – that as I read this blog the love I hold for my sister was just bursting out of me. Very touching indeed.
This blog has inspired me to write a letter to my brother and sister. There is so much to express that it there to be appreciated in every possible way.
Beautiful sharing Floris, how wonderful for you and your family.
Thank you Leonne. It is really gorgeous what you have shared here. Yes I agree Floris, it does show, there are no mistakes that we come with the family we are born into. Like Leonne we have the opportunity to heal if we choose rather than blame our family for our hurts.
Well said. Wow.
Your comment also has me reflecting on my relationship with my brother and sister and even though we don’t have regular contact the connection is always there and is solid. Something to appreciate. I’m visiting each of them in the next couple of weeks and feel this article and the comments are very timely for me to be reading just now.