My husband and I had very different upbringings with two very different sets of ideals and beliefs about how a relationship and marriage ‘should’ look – which often led to conflict. For example, we had different ideas about how: a woman ‘should’ be as a wife a woman ‘should’ be as a mother a husband ‘should’ be as a partner, and a man ‘should’ be the provider. We were both unhappy, blaming the other for the way things were. Neither of us wanted to take responsibility for the way our relationship was. We both wanted things to change, but expected the other to make the changes we wanted to see. The unresolved feelings of hurt, rejection and a lack of trust we brought to this relationship always left us wanting the other to prove their love first so we could feel secure and safe. Once we realised that this approach did not bring us closer to each other, we started to look for another way; we truly wanted a love-filled relationship and we were not going to give up on having that. Starting to take Responsibility – Listening without Reacting As both of us started to take responsibility for what ...