Up until a few years ago, I was quite disinterested in technology, to put it mildly. When smartphones first came out, I still very much hung onto my ideal of wanting this world to connect in a way that technology is rapidly leading us away from, so I kept using old school mobile phones, which could only make calls (not even with a camera function!), only to find that they kept breaking down soon after I bought them. But in my stubbornness, I kept buying the same model until it just got ridiculous.
I continued to resist the trend of smartphones, but eventually I did buy myself a second hand phone with a camera function.
When a family member introduced a smartphone into our home, it got my attention. Within my family, during meals, the phone would be the primary point of focus.
This felt very raw as it reflected the lack of connection that had always been in my home, which was now being magnified with the use of the smartphone.
When commuting on public transport, the phone would enjoy more physical contact with my loved ones than I did; and when vacationing, the phone would be the obvious buddy the family wanted to hang out with. I started to feel the isolation that I was actually already living with, but still did not want to take responsibility for my own creation. So I decided to blame it on the phone and I became jealous of it!
As I was the only woman in my then immediate family structure, this felt embarrassing and brought up strong feelings of unworthiness for me as a woman. The men in my family seemed to be more interested in an object than in connecting with me. I didn’t express any of this back then, but was uncomfortable about where technology was taking us.
Around this time I became interested in social media. Being able to connect with the whole world now felt natural, although it remained something very much lacking in real life. And because the feelings of not being able to connect with my family felt hurtful, I threw myself into gaining connection through this newly discovered media. I had built friendships all over the world and social media made maintaining these friendships possible with relative ease.
Four years ago, I broke through my own self-imposed limitation and finally bought myself a smartphone.
I quickly became addicted to apps like free video chat calls that seemed to bring closer connection with people and the world. However, the way in which I used these apps often reinforced the disconnection I had with myself, and therefore there was no true connection with anyone. I was using such tools to escape from committing to the life that was before me.
As I did not choose to be aware that connection had to be first built within myself, I needed social media to confirm if connection existed in my life or not. Most of the connections made through social media remained virtual, as in real life I was still very much living in solitude. I did end up meeting some people from social media, but most of these connections had no true foundation (that is, no bringing of a connection I had with myself first). They were laced with attachment, expectations and a superficial understanding between people, and ultimately proved to be a very distressing experience. It was very disempowering and exhausting because these experiences of relating were needy and abusive. I ended up traveling many miles from home to a foreign country to meet someone from social media because of my neediness to connect, which was not true connection, and I opened myself up to situations of emotional abuse.
By this time, I had had enough of the devastation of looking outside of myself for connection. From a place of deep fragility, I made the choice to connect back to myself.
I had already built a foundation of social media skills by this time, so why not use my smartphone to document what it means to connect with myself? I had no idea what that meant, but I was willing to find out.
I started taking ‘selfies’.
It began with selfies of only my shadow and slowly moved onto my face. I wanted to feel myself, to go beyond my skin, because a picture shows so much beyond what the eyes can see. I saw all my choices, the wise choices, as well as the not so wise choices. I saw the part of myself that never changes, still and unwavering. I was then inspired to go deeper.
So I took more selfies.
I saw the honest, as well as the not so honest, expressions of myself.
With every selfie I took, I wanted to look deeper. I saw how I posted the images — with or without filters, what kind of filters. I felt into the reasons to post, or not post, a selfie.
One thing was absolute: I did not want to hide any longer. I was choosing to step out from my own shadows.
From selfies of feeling and expressing myself, they transformed into selfies through which I am now expressing so much more than just me.
When a selfie expresses the universal and equal qualities of our Soul, such as joy and stillness, this is felt by all, as we all hold these qualities in our essence equally. The power of a true selfie is not about me, but it is about you, me and everyone else.
Soon these photos branched into selfies with other women, other men, with groups and even strangers.
When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul. Technology on its own cannot bring about this connection, nor can it inhibit this connection, because it is always our choice to connect with ourselves or not. Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.
Inspired in my every breath by the connection with Soul lived in Life and by the teachings of Serge Benhayon.
By Adele Leung, Creative director/fashion stylist
Further Reading:
Crying out for connection: technology and us
A feeling of connection
Learning to Express Myself
There are always positives and negatives about technology it all depends how we use it.
I find what you are saying Adele amazing because the thought of taking a selfie seems so strange but I understand what you are saying that the picture goes beyond what the eye can see we get so caught up in the surface picture of something and so do not look any deeper at the actual quality of the person. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we live in the shallows of life.
I feel you have raised a great point Adele that our phones have become our best friend that we hang out with, that we find it easier to have a relationship with it and through it rather than actually having an intimate friendship face to face so to say. Is it possible we find it easier to express via the phone, text etc., than actually to say what we want to say to someone in their presence for fear of rejection?
I absolutely love my phone and actually feel that I am in an actively loving relationship with it. I use it to express love and truth through my text messages and also through the writing that I do on it and I feel very much that my phone holds a certain vibration as a result of the way in which I choose to use it. I also use it to support me to care for myself by setting reminders, checking the weather and using the alarm. I use Siri to read my messages whilst I’m driving and then dictate messages for her to send for me. My phone supports me immensely and it doesn’t feel like a hard piece of technology, it feels like a supportive loving friend.
Thank you Adele, what you have shared about selfies and the road back to honouring our selves is inspiring and would be very wise for us as a society in general to understand and follow these self-loving ways.
There is so so much that is captured in a selfie, it is a very powerful reflection indeed. It offers us a deep window into ourselves, absolute gold if we’re prepared to see it.
Seeing a reflection of yourself is to be aware of who you are.
Wow what a beautiful in depth understanding of smartphones and our connection and reflections with ourselves first and foremost and the sharing of our quality and essence that is very inspiring.
When we choose to step out of the shadows it liberates others to also do the same. Stay hiding and we all lose out.
I have had a period where I took a selfie every day to look more honest at myself and also see what the effects were of the choices I made. A very interesting period where I learned a lot about myself and could get more honest about where I really was at with myself.
Technology cannot mask our choice to disconnect from ourselves but it can be an amazing tool to support us with deepening our connection with ourselves and others once we make the choice to re-connect with ourselves.
Yes, connection with ourselves first is super important, ‘ connection had to be first built within myself’.
“When a selfie expresses the universal and equal qualities of our Soul, such as joy and stillness, this is felt by all, as we all hold these qualities in our essence equally.” such a gorgeous way Adele, of reflecting our divine light, the light that lives within all mankind.
It is a great revelation you share here Adele that we can never escape, seek in others, or distract ourselves from the lack of connection to love we feel and that this can only be fulfilled through our connection to our selves first. As when we share from this quality of connection we share our realness, our Soulfulness without imposition.
‘By this time, I had had enough of the devastation of looking outside of myself for connection. From a place of deep fragility, I made the choice to connect back to myself.’’ Yesterday we were talking at dinner about the words vulnerability and fragility and how they felt and what they really conveyed. We realised that fragility was akin to honesty so it is lovely to see you use the word here confirming how we felt.
Sometimes it is not so much about not buying the new phone, car, clothes etc. but more so about resisting the energetic upgrade on offer that would allow us to go deeper in the expression of the love that we are. This is not to say that we can buy a new product and instantly say yes to evolution and be loving (!) but just to say that there is often more going on below the surface of why we do what we do. We can be stubbornly holding onto old ways of behaving (refusing to buy a new phone in this instance) while our Soul is gently impulsing us to adjust our movements so more can be communicated through it, to us, and back out into the world (as symbolised by the phone).
Yes I can really relate to resisting the evolutionary upgrade in so many areas of my life and persisting in struggling through life feeling unsupported. What I am recognising more and more is my lack of responsibility in this behaviour and the impact that it has on others.
Liane, I bought a new car changed the make of the car from this I gained a sense of freedom I did not realise that car manufactures carry a consciousness and that the consciousness can be very heavy and imposing. My new car is light and airy to drive its such a beautiful car and definitely an energy upgrade.
We have so much at our fingertips but do we utilise all that we have on offer?
When people pull out a phone in the presence of another I watch the person sit back or shift, there’s a disconnection and a feeling of being lost now that the other person is buried in their screen. It doesn’t feel nice experiencing this from an observer or being on the receiving end of such. But to understand it I need to learn why I choose to do such myself?
Its true you can feel the disconnection of another as soon as the attention is on the phone. You often see this happening in restaurants with couples.
Your blogs and pondering always inspire me Adele, you find divinity in the simplest things and express it out for the world to see and hear. Thank you
Wow Adele, what a brilliant and brave approach to discovering more about the quality of your expression and what you portray to the world by taking selfies and feeling into what was being expressed there. I can recall never liking to have my picture taken as a youngster and can now feel how much that was directly proportional to the low self-worth I had at that age. Taking the time to look into my own eyes in the mirror every day has been a great revelation into what state of being I am in and drawing connections to what choices I made before that to get to that quality of expression.
Another way to deepen the relationship we have with ourselves that then supports our relationship with others. Thank you Michael .
Michael like you I disliked having my photograph taken when I was young, is it possible that as you say it’s something to do with low self esteem but also it may be to confronting to see the reflection of the sadness in our faces which gives away the grief we are carrying from unresolved hurts from our childhood.
Beautiful what lessons can be learned by the way we use all the technology that surrounds us.
It’s no coincidence we usually take a selfie when we are connected to ourselves or another. In essence we are feeling our qualities.
We all know this hook that is set from the smartphone/ media industry. It wants us being addicted, because without our constant attention they could not exist. The smartphone is great in many aspects, makes procedures flow easier, connects immediately etc. But it aquires a loving discipline in us, to not get drawn into it. Us in connection with us and no distraction is the greatest connection you can have. Using the phone from this powerful place with all its advantages is a great support to truly expand.
Yes and by that way of using our phone we inspire the industry to make its new advancements about people, not money or addiction. We need to come from connection ourselves as a society first. For it only exist when there is a demand, they will supply.
What a sweetness I can feel from you, when I read this blog. The impulse starting to take selfies is absolutely adorable and an amazing empowering way to break through the hiding. Being there, without mask, for everyone to see. It is brave and inspiring for so many out there, who get lost in seemingly connection, although it is actually only feeding their lack of self worth and insecurity.
When we start to be responsible and look at the life we have created, we can see if that is what we truly want in our lives, and if it isn’t we can make new choices, ‘By this time, I had had enough of the devastation of looking outside of myself for connection. From a place of deep fragility, I made the choice to connect back to myself.’
We have access to so many wonderful technological gadgets and phones these days and I keep being blown away by the advances but I also am blown away by engagement with so many of these items and how much they can either enrich my life or distract me depending on my connection with my body and the honesty in which I choose to live and express everyday. Life can be a myriad of opportunities to deepen our relationships or keep ourselves at a distance and it all starts with us first.
The smartphone can be a great help in life but equally a huge distraction and cause much havoc from our absence in life. It’s how we use it and what we put into the phone (like Soical Media notifications- on or off?). Much like our mind in many ways it gives back what we put in.
That’s so true, we have a choice in the way we use the gadgets we have and it is so easy to use a screen to distract ourselves and yet the same gadget can also be extraordinarily supportive.
It’s great to open up a dialogue around this as many can relate. I have heard kids talk about how they feel their parents are more interested in social media than listening to them and they resent that but later on they join that too. Something for us all to look at.
If we do not meet each other in the truest sense then we will be met by the myriad of images that make up the fine tapestry of illusion we are then clothed in.
“How a Smart Phone Brought Me Back to Connection — a Story on Selfies” – Adele I totally agree with you re connection and how that if you want to start a relationship or go deeper with understanding yourself, that using selfies is a great way to do so.. because when i started to do this, i noted and saw (teeny) things in myself and not just what i looked like, but also the emotion or feeling i could see, feel, in me too notably through my eyes. The selfie captures you in a moment, and just in any one moment, or moment to moment, we can choose to chose differently.. and maybe take a selfie of that too (!)
It is so good to realise that true connection with others can only be there when we are connected with ourselves, even though it feels maybe uncomfortable for a while, making the honest change is truly worth it.
Yes, connection with others starts with connection to self, a bit like we can only truly love another when we love ourselves first.
“I started taking ‘selfies’. It began with selfies of only my shadow and slowly moved onto my face. I wanted to feel myself, to go beyond my skin, because a picture shows so much beyond what the eyes can see. I saw all my choices, the wise choices, as well as the not so wise choices” – what a fabulous initiative on self-exploration Adele.. i have often been put off from having my photo taken because of what i can see in the photo, namely the energy i’m in, tired, worn out, anxious, worried, moody and so on.. i’ve found the more my choices have been of quality, care, self-acceptance and generally on the wiser end of the scale, the easier and more natural the photo because of there being nothing to hide, and everything to see.
Thanks you Adele… we do always have the choice to connect to ourselves, or to stay disconnected.
By constantly looking outside for what is within we will always undermine our own qualities and potential.
“As I did not choose to be aware that connection had to be first built within myself, I needed social media to confirm if connection existed in my life or no.” I feel this to be true of many people today. It would seem people want to connect more on their phones, despite socialising with real people at the time. Using social media can become addictive
Smart phones can be used as another tool to take us away from ourselves by connecting to something outside of ourselves and making that our priority. We are easily led and distracted.
In a world that is increasingly driven by images and technology that do not represent who we are in essence, and generally suggest that who we are is not enough, we are as a result becoming less and less connected to our essence and our Soulfulness. Seeking recognition through our ability to obtain, fit in and emulate these images and technology, continues to lead us astray from the true fulfilment and inspiration that is available to us when we live from who we are within first. Hence how vital and powerful it is when our images and technology reflect a quality that represent our connection to ourselves, to love, our Soulfulness, the realness of who we all are within. As it is from here that we can truly begin to connect, inspire each other and evolve through technology and the various platforms of media.
Putting yourself on a selfie program must have been extremely revealing, especially as there are days when the last thing we want to do is have a photo taken, and know that if we do, we would not enjoy looking at our choices reflecting back at us.
What I love from you blog Adele, is the way you maximize a tool like the smartphone, as you uses it as a way to find your soul’s reflection and then show it to the world. No judgement in whatever appears in the process, just the acceptance and love to embrace you in every moment you live. Very inspiring
Without the choice to connect with our own inner heart in each moment any interaction we have with another will not deliver the intimacy and connection so sorely craved
Thank you for sharing Adele. I find your adoration of yourself deeply inspiring and how you have used the tools around you to express such a love and connection you have with yourself. In this way it is naturally an inspiring example for us all how tech can be used to support self-love and not a tool of escape or distraction which it commonly is used as
It is amazing what we can do with technology these days. It can be used for inspiring people, sharing a deeply loving connection or it can be used for a complete opposite purpose. I feel, it all depends on the user because technology is simply a tool, we can either use it to heal or harm.
When in connection to self, technology becomes a great medium for our expression, as it is through it that we can show others another way to live in connection with our essence.
Thanks again for this blog reminding us that if we are not connected to our soul in the first place there can be no true connection.
Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it. in connection with ourselves we are then connected to everyone.
Beautifully said Jill – love is what truly inspires. Without a connection to love, technology, media and images are merely vessels of lovelessness.
I too sought connection through technology, social media and online gaming. The quality of the relationships was as you described, needy and full of abuse which I did not see at the time as my need to have someone to talk to, relate to, share a common interest with was so strong. It was only when I started to connect to myself did I become aware of the quality of those connections and the quality of connection with myself being directly reflected back in the company I kept. Which even today I would say still continues as the relationship with myself expands so too does my relationships with others mirror that quality which is both amazing and amazingly exposing as I can work with and deepen my relationship with myself and if there are holes my relationships with others these help me see those on the inside.
I was inspired. I just took a few selfies while I changed my focus of awareness. I started with focusing on me and my ‘bad mood’ of today, than freed myself from judgment by connecting to my inner heart and then to connecting to the people in my village and become aware of them and my place in the community. I can see how my pictures look different. With more and a deeper connection and responsibility I took, my portraits become more alive. In the last you can even see some joy kicking in 😉
“Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.” A great truism, Adele.
This is so, so true and this applies to any tools we use.
We are a society that is obsessed with technology which often comes at the expense of our own inner knowing. When I was growing up mobile phones and computer technology were yet to be brought into the public sector and so I don’t have the reliance that many people have today. Same with Sat Nav it has its uses but equally if I listen to my inner knowing I can usually find a place without too much trouble
Yes we can use technology wisely but the thing is using something wisely, obviously takes wisdom so something will always come before that wise use.
I love the way your blog unfolds, bringing us closer to you and your connection with your soul. Having a soulful person taking photos could mean that the photos themselves hold a soulful quality. When these are viewed by thousands over the internet that is a great gift that you are sharing.
When we use technology to communicate with others it can be that we are holding them at arm’s length. When we truly connect with another and look into their eyes they reflect back to us who we are.
‘…Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.’ – This says a lot and I really agree that technology is a tool but it is the quality of how we use it that can make all the difference. It is certainly not going away, but what I have come to understand is that being with myself and others is just as important, and if I give more time to my devices than other people, I loose the connection with myself.
Thank you Adele, that is true we are forever reflecting and getting reflected what we needed. And in this case with a selfie we can see a lot and learn a lot about what we see in our eyes for example: are we connected to our love inside or not? This could be one of the many millions examples we know that are reflected to us every single day.
I have just read an article that exposes how addictive digital screens are. This fully supports what you share here Adele, that no phone, computer, iPad or x-box will support connection with ourselves and the world we live in. We need support to nurture the connection with ourselves before we venture into any digital world.
Love it Adele, you have shared a whole new way to use our ‘smartphones’, which is a part of our lives no different to clothes…but it can be used as a tool of real connection, or we can become robotic and functional, living in a pretend world of connecting with others, yet actually isolated within ourselves…it can be progressive or a human curse.
Very inspiring, lighthearted, fun sharing but very important.
When you take a selfie you know every little thing going on for you, you literally can’t hide it. The amazing thing I find is that we can look so different, day to day and moment to moment, depending on what we are choosing and what we are claiming – selfies definitely are a great reflection of exactly where we’re at.
Thank you for your sharing Adele. I love this “Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it” so true!
So interesting how you have moved beyond blaming the smartphone, and looked instead at the lack of quality in the relationships… a much more honest view that we could all do with more of.
We make technology wrong and harmful, yet persist and will not desist from compulsively posting away. We end up with this bipolar view where we really don’t respect what we do. All the time what we don’t seem to notice is there is a different platform we can tap into – one where what we do and say is tender caring and supportive of us all. Then we can enjoy living like you do Adele where taking selfies is not about our selves but connecting to all. If we were to move forward this way we would bring true innovation to life.
Thank you Adele for showing how technology can be used as a tool in life instead of a substitute for life.
If we do not have connection with ourselves how can we truly connect with others – in real life or on social media?
Social media can really magnify where we are at with connection, in the seeking of recognition, need and attachment, or in true inner connection serving all through our true expression.
I must remember to get myself a selfie stick. I’m going to put a reminder in my phone.
I rejected mobile phones outright when they first came on the scene. I vowed never to get one, and didn’t like the idea that I could be reached 24/7. I now do have a mobile, and feel a bit lost if I ever leave it behind when going out. Staying open means I can see where opportunities present themselves to be more connected. As with everything it’s not the mobile that’s the problem, but how we use them.
‘Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.’ If we are not with ourselves when we use technology it quite often doesn’t work. I find when I make mistakes it is not necessarily because I don’t know the technology but because I am not 100% with myself. I used to draw and paint self portraits as a way of finding out more about myself so why not take selfies? I have in fact taken a few since last reading this blog and it is nowhere near as daunting as I had thought. Thanks Adele for sharing your process.
Wonderful to read Adele, how you have brought back a sense of purpose to what has typically felt like a selfish and quite self obsessed thing in today’s society. But what you have shared is bringing an lightness and playfulness to taking a ‘selfie’, one that isn’t imposing.
There have been times when I have lost myself in technology to feel quite disorientated afterwards. It has been a way of numbing myself from the choices leading to going on the computer. Whenever I go on the computer now I am learning to check in with myself as to whether I am choosing to go on it to numb myself or is there a purpose. Technology has its purpose and when used wisely and in connection to ourselves first it can support and confirm who we truly are.
“connection had to be first built within myself” – no matter what tools and or technology we have, connection with self is paramount; what we bring to and how we use these tools is the key. Thank you Adele for highlighting this fact.
It is always our choice to connect with ourselves or not, and when connected we inspire all no matter whether we use technology or not.
What a great positive take on how to use our phones and social media ‘for good not evil’. “When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul.” Fabulous!
What strikes me about your blog Adele is that normally smart phones a tool for disconnection, but you have demonstrated that technology can in fact be used to help support connection too, it shows that it’s about the way we use the tools we have around us, not the actual tool itself.
All too often in our society these devices are used as a distraction in a very destructive way but through connection with ourselves first and foremost these devices can support us connecting with other.
I think I’m going to get myself a selfie stick. Its a bit of a struggle trying to lengthen my arm away from me and the others in my photo ; ) From someone who was nervous about writing a comment on a blog a couple of years ago to now posting selfies of herself on social media, I have to appreciate how far I have come in allowing myself to be seen.
I must say I am enjoying connecting with the world via social media, however I wonder if it will lead to us all getting neck and shoulder issues in the future. On the train platform yesterday almost everyone had a device in their hands and their heads bent forward looking down. More and more I’m bumping into people in the street who are not bothering to look up from their device. I hear in some countries pavement traffic lights have been installed to avoid accidents at pedestrian crossing.
It is our relationship with technology that supports connection or not. This is a creative way to use it Adele. So much can be felt in a reflection.
I can feel your power and authority here Adele ‘One thing was absolute: I did not want to hide any longer. I was choosing to step out from my own shadows.’ This is awesome and your are deeply inspiring as a selfie queen and one who uses social media to truly connect and show the world not to hold back who you are.
“Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.” Technology when we use it with a true purpose to connect to others can be absolutely awesome when we use it to fill an emptiness or need we are ultimately finding relief for a short time while all along the issue stays un-adressed magnifying itself.
The selfie journey you are on Adele is inspiring. I feel it’s a very brave thing to do. It’s an exercise in baring warts and all, and allowing yourself to feel what’s going on for you with every picture. I can only imagine it is very revealing and also quite profound.
I can relate to wanting to blame others for the lack of connection I have had in relationships. However, technology or no technology, it all starts with us. We can connect via so many different tools, it’s the quality of that connection that is so important and actually defines whether there is any connection at all.
You have provided a totally different take on taking a selfie for me Adele, when they were first becoming popular to take one, I kind of thought it was a little silly, just people being self absorbed. I had moved on from feeling like this about them, but after reading your blog, I feel very different again, in a very loving and self caring way, so thank you.
Our resistance to technological change can be a reflection of ourselves. I remember initially resisting smart phones, wanting to stay with the familiar and then gradually moved on to acceptance. This was similar to how I viewed internal changes fundamental to my own healing, it took time to fully accept. All things in life must evolve and so must we,
There is a level of responsibility that goes with posting or connecting to others on social media. Too often we can be caught up in the pictures and images of how this should look or be. Technology is a great tool when it is used with not agenda but to bring simplicity in the connect that reaches further then our own backyards.
It really is great when we choose not to hide, to, as you say, come out of the shadows.
Selfies can be a great tool to check in where we’re at, or rather confirm… because we already know. The difference in the photo when we are connected to when we have let life wear us down is ENORMOUS.
So true Adele, we can blame the modern communication devices for what they bring to us but in truth this only shows us where we are and especially where I am in relation with humanity. We therefore cannot blame the devices for bringing something to us but it is completely up to each and everyone of us how we are with ourselves that will determine how we will use the devices, either in connection with our essence and from there connect to the world or not from this connection and then end up in another world there where the disconnection is exposed in all its illusionary ways.
[…] Reading: Separateness or Connection How a Smart Phone Brought Me Back to Connection — a Story on Selfies Crying out for connection: technology and […]
You rarely hear about how technology helps someone to connect with themselves; more and more it seems to be about how we use technology to disconnect from ourselves and the reality around us. I loved reading your story and could feel right from the start how connection is important to you .. starting with your family. As you are aware, connection absolutely needs to be first built within ourselves ‘As I did not choose to be aware that connection had to be first built within myself’. This was brought to my attention even more so by Serge Benhayon during a recent Ageless Wisdom web broadcast in how things will only change within the world when we connect more with ourselves and each other and truly make it about people.
I like the simple message of this article that, a phone or any other communicative tool can’t do the work of the soul
I saw a couple in a coffee shop recently who were both sitting on their phones not speaking to one another, I found this deeply saddening, but a true reflection of where we are as as a humanity. What it also reflected to me was the lack of connection we have to our children as the woman was pregnant. The child would have felt this whether it was born or not. I then turned and saw two elder men having a conversation; one was on his mobile phone at the same time, again this hurt, it reflected to me the lack of respect and decency we have in connecting with each other and ourselves. All this reflected to me the responsibility I have in connectiing to people, myself, being very present and not checking out.
I actually find it deeply saddening how many people in the world use phones and social media devices to check out / have given up on life. This is a constant learning as I see this reflected back to me. It’s showing me the constant responsibility I have in staying connected to myself.
I find I use my phone as a distraction to take me away from deepening the connection with myself.
This story reminds me of what I have heard children talk about- the hurt they feel about parents being too busy and always on their phones but then they give up on any real connection and join this trend and become obsessed with technology too. It is sad that people are crying out for true connection but many are giving up that it will be there and then finding other things to distract themselves.
Today we are more connected by technology but less connected to each other as people, it is a confusing time and one where being connected is indeed vital in order to be able to be in the world.
It is our choice to connect and stay connected and to bring that to everything we do, that then has an affect on our quality, and inspires others in the process.
This feels so true, Adele – “Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.” Sharing experiences via social media etc can be an effective way to communicate to and inspire thousands of people, if as you say it is an expression of our connection to truth and love. I love the images you post of yourself and with others as there is a consistent sense of joy and togetherness that is universal.
Pictures call to be received, and the glory that is presented when they are done in spontaneity is because they do not formulate until the moment when all comes together, and after that moment, something else is already formulating. When we hold onto any images, this act is already not true.
No two people use the smart phone the same way, with the same intention and depth. So we can never judge it in a generalized way whether using a phone is good or bad, right or wrong. It all depends on whether there is energetic responsibility or not, and the consistency of it.
Asking others to not use the phone or use it less is not a true way, so there will not be lasting results. Understand why there is a need for incessant checking out and numbing with technological gadgets we will know that this is a cushiony comfort to not feel and be aware, and again, but why do we not want to feel? Responsibility is the word.
I have started taking regular selfies as part of appreciating and honouring myself and I must say the difference is clearly felt! It requires a lot of honesty and trust to open up and feel where we are truly at but it is well worth it
Adele you have given me a new view of the way a Smart Phone can enhance our lives. I have never used my phone to its full potential, so like you this may be a door to connection on a deeper level with humanity.
‘Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.’ – Well said Adele – we have a responsibility to truly connect rather than assuming connection now means the strength of a wifi signal. I too love smartphones and technology, but if we loose us in the process then it is a very empty device.
I wonder how many people have felt this, and yet not expressed it? ‘The men in my family seemed to be more interested in an object than in connecting with me. I didn’t express any of this back then, but was uncomfortable about where technology was taking us.’ Or not looked at what is being reflected here?
Why is there more disconnection and more people feeling isolated and lonely when we have so many tools for connection, is it because we actually choose to disconnect, starting with self, and if so why?
Thanks Adele I love this transition of social media use from distraction to connection – smart phones can offer so much more as we connect with not only others but ourselves. Brilliant! PS just took a selfie!
Since reading your blog Adele, and experimenting with selfies, I found that first of all I was still looking at them critically, wanting myself to be different. Gradually I began to truly receive the information that was there, and appreciate things about myself that I have denied before. Eventually I was aware of a wisdom and divinity from within and to appreciate that quality, and now I am also much more comfortable having my photos taken with others, (something that has been a problem for me all my life) and know that if I remain in my presence, then my inner self will shine out, not my discomfort and pretence.
I love how selfies are very honest showing how we really feel about ourselves. When I take selfies I’m often very self concious of how I look and it’s so easy to see if I’m a bit guarded or protected or open and more playful and at ease. And you are right about the technical thing here, it can be used as a distraction as well as for connecting in a true way. It’s how we are with it that matters most.
I have never taken a selfie of just myself. I know that sometimes in a selfie with another person I have reacted to what i have seen. Maybe it is time to loosen up with my i phone and play a little.
“As I did not choose to be aware that connection had to be first built within myself, I needed social media to confirm if connection existed in my life or not” – such a great point Adele, the internet becomes a substitute for what is being greatly craved – true connection; a connection that has the beauty of intimacy, warmth and trust, qualities that fall so very short through escapism or reliance on virtual existences without the essential connection with oneself being there. There is only loneliness without self-connection.
I’ve been having trouble with my internet lately, which I’ve finally understood as a very clear and loving message to be in constant awareness of my connection within. I had one day in particular that I was obsessed with finding internet connection somewhere, anywhere and everywhere outside of my home – it was clear that the pursuit for connection is an absolute drain when we choose to neglect the very fire that burns, waiting, within. Now that I understand this, new ways have opened themselves and I have connection to Internet in my home.
Seeing your posts on social media Adele is such a lift to anyones day. Your appreciation and dedication to true connection is so much fun to watch and you allow everyone to feel part of this when sharing it on social media. It’s an inspiration to not hold back from sharing our Joy – no matter what medium it may be through, the potential to connect is everywhere.
Technology is simply a tool that can confirm our connection or disconnection with ourselves and I love how you have turned around your experience of smart phones from being jealous of others relationship with them to using their power to document your journey back to connection through selfies. Thank you Adele I have always found looking at photos of me very confronting and realise now it is because they reflect my lack of connection so I now feel inspired to give taking selfies a go and see what transpires.
‘As I did not choose to be aware that connection had to be first built within myself, I needed social media to confirm if connection existed in my life or not.’ Adele I wonder how true this is for many people today. It reminds me of the loneliness of being in a group or crowd, but not really having any connection with anyone, including oneself. As a young person I always kept my innermost feelings secret because it hurt when others misunderstood me, and this meant that when I was in social groups I would blend in rather than bring my full self to people. It looked like I was social but in fact I was not. It is only in recent years that I am more fully embracing myself and therefore bringing me to social events and social media.
When connection is there first of all with self then it doesn’t matter in what form we connect with others it comes from a solid foundation of love. Technology can then be a support to reunite in brotherhood rather than it be yet another distraction.
Adele what you share here is huge. I, like you, was very resistant to the phone and to technology.
Although I used it, I really did avoid looking at, answering or interacting with my phone a lot of the time. And when you shared here how you knew that it was a reflection of the lack of connection you had, well that really resonated for me as I can feel how true that was for me as well.
I hated technology because it put connection back in my face. And though I could argue it was to do with technology isolating people, there was a huge call for me to be more open with people, and this was what was truly coming up.
So I’ve been gradually building my relationship with connection, which has supported me to have a better relationship with technology and allowed me to see the value of connection in it.
It’s quite astounding how the craze of the ‘selfie’ has taken over. It’s like a kind of obsession. I know many who are never happy because they can’t get the perfect selfie. They are always snapping away trying to get the perfect picture of themselves. It is just feeding their lack of self-worth and confirming their belief that they are not good enough. What a pressure! I love how you have approached the selfie in a totally different way. You have not chosen to ignore the fact of selfie’s, you have chosen to engage with it but in your own way,, and in the process discover something beautiful.
It’s wonderful how you have brought a new depth to the selfie! Selfies are usually used to snap the surface or the ‘best’ of ourselves or the way we like to be seen. To go beneath that and to get really honest about what is there is totally different. What a great way to connect with yourself and allow a deeper awareness.
Connection is natural and being in a world where we have made disconnection normal from our daily choices is a hard pill to swallow. In our reaction to this and not wanting to feel into the responsibility of the choices we have made, it is easy to blame or to be in desperation. And yet, connection simply has to start with ourselves, as when in connection with ourselves, this is felt by everyone we meet.
The way we take pictures of ourselves can be quite telling – the need to take lots of different ones, only to delete most if not all due to some issue or imperfection. Then, when we find one that we can handle, we cover it with filters and editing – what if we took pictures to celebrate our joy and to capture a moment in time.
There is so much to appreciate and the bigger picture is always in view, technology has supported me to come out from my stubbornness to hide, because of the connection first felt within. Without this connection and with the need to hide, technology can be used in a very different way. The intention of how technology is used makes all the difference.
When neediness is present, love is not. With neediness it is a guarantee that there is no true relationship, but neediness is currently accepted as a needed quality in relationships, so what is really our understanding of relationships? Have we accepted a reduced version of what relationship truly is as our normal?
Thank you Adele I am now partaken in your selfy program and it’s an amazing journey that you describe!
That is truly cool Greg as are you
“I started to feel the isolation that I was actually already living with, but still did not want to take responsibility for my own creation. So I decided to blame it on the phone and I became jealous of it!” This is huge Adele, our needy relationship with technology is exposing the cracks in our relationships – the lack of intimacy and true connection. I’d liken this misuse of technology to chewing gum, we enjoy the initial taste and activity but after a while our jaw goes into auto pilot and our bodies become confused by the constant chewing and release of saliva, all the movements that suggest something is being eaten but never arrives, the knot of anxiousness and yearning that appears in our stomach (our true place of self acceptance) – a giant flag to the separation humanity keeps choosing.
Neediness is not Love, it will not be with people nor with technology. It is wise to first look at our needs before focusing our blame on people or technology.
“As I did not choose to be aware that connection had to be first built within myself, I needed social media to confirm if connection existed in my life or not.” Indeed I grew up with a need to be liked, to be social but todays ‘like’ is sought across the cyber world – the need will never cease, will never be satiated by however many ‘likes’, for as Adele’s beaming face tells us, liking ourselves first is the hit that serves us all!
Adele as a Facebook friend i have followed many of your selfies, your group photos, daily moments, and can honestly say how much I have appreciated their pure celebration of life and people , the ordinary but equally extraordinary joy that emanates from these images – a reminder that nothing out there is greater than us and our connection. Thank-you.
Adele I felt the joy building in reading this today. I could feel the story around honesty and dis-connection unfolding to the glorious celebration of connection with yourself and taking a selfie to honour that connection. Gorgeous sharing.
Universality can be expressed through modern technology as well as three-dimensional consciousness, meaning to think linear, individualistic and with the intent of self-gain. Interestingly all of us can feel the difference.
Smartphones become an addiction like anything else as people become dependent on them, for social interaction and much else. The same with food, drugs, sport; we are a very addictive and obsessive society, and it is so obvious when you walk in the street and observe body postures that expose protectiveness and loneliness, while at the same time ears are glued to the phone and children neglected, that the phone is a substitute for truly engaging and connecting with others. I love your way of bringing yourself back through selfies to a relationship with yourself. Many do not even realise that they have left themselves or even have self to return to. The selfie itself can be used as a tool too either in a true way or a destructive way, and your honest and truthful appraisal of the process that turned you around to embrace appreciation of who you truly are shows how possible it is to make that loving choice to fully commit to your relationship with yourself first.
I still love this blog (why wouldn’t I?) What struck me upon re-reading it was just how the tool that technology is, has been mistaken for the answer to many of our live’s problems. The phrase coined by Apple, “there’s an app for that” reveals how much we have given our power away to these pieces of plastic and metal that sit in our pockets. We turn to them whenever we want to know something, feel we are missing out on something, or are simply bored, thinking that the cure lies somewhere in the shiny images we see. But the truth is that it is just a tool. We are all master craftsmen of our lives, and smartphones can be another tool in that craft. Or they can be a crutch, propping up a crippled sense of self.
Reading this makes me wonder why for some it is so hard to feel comfortable whilst having our photos taken, even a selfie. Could it be that as we become more accepting of ourselves we then feel more comfortable in posing for a photo or is it the connect that has been written about in this blog. Over the years I have observed people having their photos taken at Universal Medicine events and it seems that the more connected they are the more presence they bring to the photo shoot, and the photos always look amazing.
Like all great tools , their work will only be complimented if we but first understand the responsibility we hold in our connection to them! From that quality, a true relationship is built producing images, machinery, devices that will reflect the very essence of that connection.
Thanks Adele for showing us the power in responsibility and how we can work with technology in a complimentary way inspiring us all to evolve.
Technology is like any other tool it can be used wisely or abused, a hammer can be used to build a beautiful structure or used as a deadly weapon. Anything that can bring us closer to ourselves and others can’t be all bad.
“When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul.” I love this and your sharing of your coming out through selfies. I recently took part in an appreciation program with a group of friends and one of the things we did was share a selfie each day and I have to say it was a fun and very healing process. It was also amazing to see the change across the month as appreciation of my qualities and livingness deepened, and to see this reflected in the selfies and therefore to the world. Keep your selfies coming for they are indeed glorious, of course, as they reflect you.
Adele its very powerful to share how you recognised that the mobile phone magnified or made obvious the existing isolation and disconnection in your family and that you didn’t make it all about the phone. I can feel how it is only too easy to blame the disconnection we can all feel on a device, be it a computer, phone, or tablet, rather than take the time to feel what is being reflected to us about our own relationship with ourselves – an internal disconnect. When we do this I find it is also easier to understand how other people are potentially feeling, or rather not feeling, when we observe them so busy with devices rather than people.
Often technology is aimed at the level of disconnection in society but what we have failed to see is that the disconnection came first and the technology is just a way of trying to fill the emptiness. Technology can be used to work with or to escape from life. It is up to us as it itself has no power.
Adele I love your commitment to looking at yourself from all angles and sharing it openly with everyone. This requires humbleness as well as a dedication to Truth.
Thank you Adele , goes to show that anything can be used as a tool for love and connection …or not.
It seems apparent to me that whatever intentions we approach social media with, this will be the outcome result.
Social media has been blamed as creating the greater disconnection that we now have with each other in the world, but what you’ve shared here Adele is that the disconnection was already there in real life, it’s now just more in our faces. We can’t blame social media for our relationship problems because at the end of the day it is us who choose to accept that superficial virtual connection over choosing to connect to ourselves first. That choice at first isn’t pretty and it hurts because we have to be held accountable and walk back over the steps we made to disconnect from who we truly are, but the more we keep coming back the less steps of disconnection there are and are replaced with connected steps. Being in connection with who we truly are feels so yummy and brings a joy to life that is steady and stable and not on that roller coaster of neediness and desperation for connection with something, someone, anything and anyone. And what I am learning is that that latter desperation can be very hooking and attractive at times but in these moments it’s simply a lesson to appreciate more of what connection can bring to life not just for myself but for those all around as well.
As you point out in your blog Adele when we connect with ourselves first that connection with our soul is emanated through selfies expresses the truth of our essence, our inner beauty, joy and stillness to everyone offering them the opportunity to connect with the qualities we all hold in our essence.
The subject of exposure to abuse via social media and connections made online is an important one to raise Adele. This deserves a whole blog (if not book…) in its own right. When longing for connection, and missing a true foundational relationship with ourselves, we can be prey to many an influence that is not at all supportive – as we see today, this can reach tragic ends in some cases.
It is well worthy of our consideration to recognise that every single interaction we have online is with people – and be deeply discerning of just who and what we are connecting with, and where we are coming from when we do so.
I truly appreciate what you’ve shared here Adele, about ‘resisting’ technology because we cannot but feel and observe the intensity with which it can be used to disconnect us – from ourselves, and from each other.
In the simple smart phone, an endless plethora of distractions awaits at the touch of a button. We engage in social interaction oftentimes with each other, without so much as a cursory glance in the eyes of our friend, neighbour or colleague… such is the fixedness of many a gaze upon our object of distraction, our smart phone.
That is, unless we choose to take responsibility for the way in which we use it, and make it about connection – true connection – as you have so wonderfully done.
Love it Adele, and the depth of honesty that you bring.
“Selfies” that are not about self – this offers a paradigm shift in our use of social media and the ready availability of the modern day image… All that is at our fingertips is there to use in a way that is about love and connection, or not. It’s that simple.
Selfies can be a celebration and appreciation of who we are. When we take selfies from our own connection, we offer a reflection of the soul’s qualities held within everyone equally. That is something so special, honest and gorgeous to see and something I am enjoying exploring more and more. Thank you for the inspiration Adele.
The technology available to connect people can be an extension of the connection one has with themselves first. Perhaps what dismays us is seeing the younger generation on the gadgets using them to check out and play games and use the technology for cyber abuse. It is a tool that is literally an extension of our connection, and how we live our day.
I have had the experience that pings on the smart phone is constant when someone wants a connection and as soon as this need is dropped (when they do not feel they will get what they need), responses become extinct. This is the common normality we have accepted in our world today, but the truth is neither of these behaviours reflect love or connection. If we allow ourselves to feel, behaviours such as these should not even be a part of our world, let alone being an accepted normal, and the responsibility we can take therefore, is to express again the connection we have ever held back in expressing without further delay.
Loving the idea of getting to know myself through selfies Adele – I think I’m going to get right on with that to support me learning to accept me because as you say connection with others requires connection with me FIRST ❤️
Selfies are an interesting thing that I have yet to explore! I think you have inspired me to ponder on it – I would feel it could be quite confronting in a sense to take some selfies, as it would ask me to be very open and honest and accepting of myself, which certainly would expose any ideals or beliefs I would have about how I expected myself to look in selfie. So silly to admit, but I am just being honest here….and so it shows there is more to work in with regards to self acceptance and self love!
I have never taken a selfie and after reading this blog and observing my children often taking selfies I am inspired to give it a go. I feel I can learn so much about myself in the process and use it as a tool to confirm how I am feeling or to support me to deepen the connection to myself. It makes me realise that technology is not to blame but how I am with it through the connection with myself is what matters.
When we feel connected to ourselves, we feel content within and then there is only love and respect for another if they choose to use technology.
Another great sharing of how we connect with technology. Yes we can say technology is making us disconnect with people, and become insular – but perhaps the opportunity here is to connect with ourselves first. Then with this connection, no matter what the device or the platform, we are solid, and technology does not take over – as true connection stays as the foundation.
Thank you, Adele. I never would have thought that taking selfies would become a way to confirm and celebrate not only my deepening relationship with myself, but also with others. These images feel so alive and capture a moment of joy in feeling love and connection.
‘When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within’ excuse the pun but this rings true with me. Smart phones and technology can support us to connect where that connection already is made without them. Connection is in people not devices.
“By this time, I had had enough of the devastation of looking outside of myself for connection. From a place of deep fragility, I made the choice to connect back to myself”
Obviously a brave but necessary step Adele; I love how you came to this awareness and then took responsibility to connect back to yourself before reaching out to others no matter what the medium.
Only my love can truly ever confirm me, so taking a selfie from a smart phone when I look into the camera is allowing myself to be reflected in my own love. When there is no physical reflection around to show us who we are, we have to take the responsibility to do that for ourselves, and there is always a way.
Technology is forever enhancing, and if we do not use them wth awareness we can get caught in the disconnection with them. When we use them with awareness they provide true connection. It is with awareness that we must use the technology we have for our selves and others. I was like you Adele when smartphones came out, I refused to get one for many years, but having got one now I have found how supportive it can be.
It is so true Adele, that depending on the quality and intention that we engage in when using technology affects the energetic quality of the communication and ultimately if it is true connection or not.
This part of your blog stood out for me Adele “connection had to be first built within myself,” for without connection to self first nothing else will truly work, regardless of the tools/technologies being used.
As soon as we expect something or someone to deliver something to us, we have lost connection to ourselves and therefore each other and life. In connection everything is a tool to expand on and develop our connection. This has been a great revelation for me as my tendency to look for solutions outside of myself has led me away from exactly what I was looking for.
Adele this is a great blog, it really highlights how we have allowed the smartphone to take over our lives, we want to be immediately accessable to people to connect to, but we are completely disconnected. Lovely how you have been playful with your selfies and used your smartphone by being connected with yourself, and seeing what the selfie reveals, there is so much more to see than what we first observe.
We do find the trends of technology almost overwhelming not just with the levels of change but the feeling that such rapid development is having an impact on the world, financially, emotionally and also physically through our resources and changed living ways. Huge to consider. What you have shown us though is that there is a way to use technology to support and evolve us, it just requires a lot of honesty about how it is being used
I would say we can use or abuse everything in this world. Phones are made to connect – or not? But this days they are mostly used to stay in the own little bubble. But that makes the phone not to something else – it is on us how to use things. Great example here Adele for how to bring a change.
I was doing some research on young people and technology recently and jealousy and comparison were the most commonly reported experiences on line. No surprises really, that when used without awareness, social media is designed to trigger these harmful emotions.
“I was using such tools [social media] to escape from committing to the life that was before me”. We have a strong tendency to just give up and not want to see our role in the parts of our life that are not working. For instance if our marriage isn’t working, we can focus on work, the kids, our hobbies and escapes. But I have realised that even though we may feel that some areas of our life are going ahead the undealt with parts are still there like a stagnant pond. It feels really important to bring our connection to every moment, every part of our lives.
I loved reading how clearly you could feel what a smartphone would do in your life if used in a way that didn’t really connect with you with other people or yourself. How amazing that you were able to turn this around and use it to develop your own connection. It just shows that most often it is not the object or thing that is the problem, it is the way we are with it and how/why we use it. Similar to money with the saying ‘money is the root of all evil’, the smartphone is not the root of the evil, it is the way we relate with it and use it.
It is quite a devastating feeling looking for connection outside ourselves when we haven’t made that connection within. It keeps you in constant ‘search mode’ for ‘the thing, the person, the experience’ that will fill you up. But fullness has to come from inside. It is about knowing this and bringing it with you to all relationships.
I have also felt the very tangible experience of the lack of connection and intimacy in some relationship, which technology can show up. It is a sad indictment of the state of relationships if they revolve around a phone, a computer game or even watching movies/TV. We have been lead to believe that watching a show or playing a game together is connecting, yet it leaves you feeling no closer. These things when used as fillers only further cement our disconnection from one another.
It is inspiring to see how you observe everything in your life from a point of making it about connection and love and what it reflects back to you. This curiosity and commitment to know more and move on from patterns and behaviors that do not work is a great quality you share here with us.
I know for me that taking a selfie can be a real reflection – either it captures my joy and love or it captures my insecurities and lack of self worth, where only taking several different photos and applying several filters will get it to a point where I am comfortable with how it looks.
As a tool a smart phone can be used in so many ways and the way we listen can be in connection or disconnection. Selfie’s included. We can always listen in connection or disconnection and the difference is felt by all
This is such a profound statement Adele – “When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul.” I love this and it is so true, connection to self first will allow any ‘selfie’ to show this, and done in connection with others the joy can then be seen and felt.
I love the way the reflections of disconnection are there all around us constantly reminding us to connect to ourselves and each other. It seems that we are missing out on so much when we choose to bury our heads in some form of technology without using it to truly connect to another.
I like the idea of your selfie project Adele as a way of dropping the protection that we often have with the world and other people. If we are prepared to be seen as we are, without any guardedness or pretence it definitely opens up the flow of connection.
I know for me it is easy for me to come with a million external excuses why I feel a lack of connection with others but in the end it does come down to my own choice as to whether I am open and committed to feeling and allowing the connection with myself and others that is always there.
There is a great responsibility in learning how to use screen time – it can be something that connects or it can be something that pulls us away from ourselves and those around us.
Pictures which seek to be portrayed in perfection is a picture that is deeply harming the whole world. Perfection does not exist and allowing this picture to rule the bodies and minds of women and men is a guarantee we will not be true to ourselves. The truth of the image industry is to be image free and whatever needs to be expressed will come together in the most harmonious way, it may not be what is expected and never can it be reproduced, but every moment this is expressed there is evolution.
I appreciate you sharing Adele that there is a way to use technology to connect people in a loving way. I rather enjoy the paradox that as our world gets smaller through technology it could massively expand through the quality of expression brought through it.
As with all things – ‘It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it!’ We can use smart phones and technology for the greater good if we use them for good purpose. It’s when we get lost in the world of technology that we start getting in to trouble. We can maintain our power and pick and choose how we use it and make it work for us, rather than have IT control US.
So true – in all things, in fact in everything – “‘It ain’t what you do it’s the way that you do it!’”
Selfies is something I need to explore a bit more as I mainly do them when my partner is suggesting it. I must say that having a camera on attached to the phone gives me the opportunity to take beautiful snapshots of nature or other stuff that I didn’t before.
Hello Adele and this made me laugh, “I started to feel the isolation that I was actually already living with, but still did not want to take responsibility for my own creation. So I decided to blame it on the phone and I became jealous of it!” We can be funny with things at times and this reminded me of how ridiculous I can blame things around me when I don’t want to deal with something. I can just imagine you blaming the smart phone and it made me laugh. It’s not the smart phone or the things but the quality or way we use it that is the key like anything. We all know this and in fact many sayings we have already allude to this common fact, “It’s not what we do but it’s the way that we do it”.
I laughed too Ray when I wrote it as it now felt so ridiculous, when we do not wish to take responsibility we can blame anything, as I did.
With selfies or any other form of photo or picture we have a huge responsibility as its energetic quality will emanate and hence affect the viewer. Of course this is used or misused intentionally e.g. in marketing, although they might not be aware of the energetic dimension that is still how it works, but most often we are ignorant to this effect. Just allow yourself to not just see with the eyes but also feel with your body how a picture or painting im-presses you and you will get a deeper understanding about the energy leaving an im-pression or imprint in your body.
The Saying “A picture says more than 1000 words” may be true or not, but a photo definitely does reflect us a lot what we are not so aware of; every part of our body tells a story and when we are willing to read or listen to it we are asked to deepen our honesty about ourselves. It is a powerful tool of reflection.
Smartphones and Co are tools of communication, that involves connection and expression. Both are lacking in vast areas of today´s life. As a humanity we seem to communicate more than ever but what is the quality of all the talking, emailing, texting, chatting etc? We see more and more abuse like cyberbullying or sexting etc. The quality or energy we are communicating with is always affecting both sides. In this regard nothing has changed, we are responsible for the quality we choose to connect with ourselves and people no matter what the communication method or device.
How often we stop to feel the quality of what we are writing and whether this serves all or the individual?
Mostly we see technology being used as a substitute for the lack of true connection but as you say it is not the technology that is causing the lack, hence we can make use of it in and for true connection. Then it is an amazing tool to be globally connected and overcome national and local limitations.
I found it very revealing of how I too would blame technology for keeping us disconnected – when as you say it really is the disconnection with ourselves that we need to explore. It feels like technology is exposing the way we hold back on ourselves – how we create distance between ourselves and another when what is truly there is a space for us to expand.
There are so many gems in what you share and your honesty is inspiring to read Adele… what you offer here I’m sure many could relate to – the family disconnection, people absorbed in their phones everywhere we look, seeking our self worth outside of ourselves, when in truth we are all seeking the loving connection that is already within us – we just need to stop and take a look inside…
Paula, with the devastation and disconnection everywhere seen and felt every day, there is even more responsibility for everyone of us who has deeply felt this devastation to live even deeper the connection with ourselves, so much so that connection is naturally expressed in our every movement and therefore touch every person we meet, thus for connection to return to being our normal once again.
“Technology on its own cannot bring about this connection, nor can it inhibit this connection, because it is always our choice to connect with ourselves or not. Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.” So true Adele… we cannot rely on others to bring what we truly crave – it is our responsibility to bring ourselves back to the love we already are, to that true connection, and then to take that with us where-ever we are and in whatever it is we do.
I see the increased use of technology, in particular smart phones, as a symptom of us as a species lacking connection with each other. We seek it through social media, but what everyone really wants is a true connection with those people they share their lives with and if it isn’t there, let’s go to the next best place.
I must admit I am rarely happy with how I look in photos. This is something I am curious to explore after reading your blog. I liked the journey you describe Adele with selfies and this bit has intrigued me – ‘I wanted to feel myself, to go beyond my skin, because a picture shows so much beyond what the eyes can see. I saw all my choices, the wise choices, as well as the not so wise choices. I saw the part of myself that never changes, still and unwavering. I was then inspired to go deeper.’
Debra, taking a selfie is like a healing session bathing in our own love, it is phenomenal.
Adele your blog has inspired me to have more fun with technology. It is definitely how you use it that can be all about connection or not.
I too can relate to an initial frustration with smartphones as it seemed as there was so much more focus on the technology rather than meaningful connection with others. However with time I have come to appreciate how I can let others in more and stop hiding or withdrawing from life so much.
It is amazing how clearly photos can communicate where we are at with ourselves.
Super beautiful blog Adele, so true , so real and palpable, only when we bring connection to things such as technology can it serve its purpose. Thank you for your honest ways, beautiful captured Adele..
My journey with social media has been profound. It has helped me also ‘step out of the shadows’ like yourself Adele and support claiming my journey reconnecting to myself and sharing the deep inspiration and appreciation of how my growth in true self confidence has changed my life. It doesn’t feel right to keep that journey to myself. When it comes from an intention to share something of truth with the world, then the world is blessed. If it comes from an intention to seek recognition, then we keep ourselves retarded and kept in the same behaviours. Technology can be amazing.
The ‘Like Me’ mentality behind selfies and sharing on social media feels the loneliest place to be.
Such an important issue to discuss as half the world is addicted to selfies. Technology is an amazing opportunity to connect with others; but as you so beautifully express Adele, it is the quality and intention behind it which is critical. If it is to fill a void from gaining recognition it can increase the feeling of emptiness.
Adele you have shared the power of connection via technology in stark contrast the the disconnection that is present in the world today amongst the millions of uses world wide.
As you say, technology is neither good nor bad, its quality or lack thereof depends on how we use and are with it.
Looking at a selfie that was made from love is a magnificent thing. The person is in stillness and their eyes are sparkling. Everything about it says ‘I APPRECIATE ME’. ✨ and I am here for YOU ?
Great article Adele. Technology is merely an extension of us all.
We can use it to express the love that we are or not. We always have a choice.
It is our responsibility to choose the level of connection we have with those around us. As you say Adele (with reference to smartphones) “…it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within…”
Adele it’s so great that you used the very technology that compounded your sense of isolation to using it for self connection through taking selfies and observing your responses and reactions through this. It just shows that it is not the technology itself that is the problem but how we use it.
A couple of years ago when it was becoming obvious I needed to upgrade on the technology I was using with my phone and laptop and what I did on them, I was quite resistant saying ‘life had been fine without them’. However when I made the steps to upgrade which gave me greater access to do more and be more accessible I realised my resistance had been because I wanted to withdraw and hide from the world. I have now come to see that these forms of technology and all it offers have their place but it is how we use them.
I love how you share that it is not about being in reaction to modern technology but using it for truth – to express love and joy – which definitely shine through your selfies.
“When a selfie expresses the universal and equal qualities of our Soul, such as joy and stillness, this is felt by all, as we all hold these qualities in our essence equally.” l love what you express here Adele, what an awesome and playful journey. Your interaction with life is so intimate and absolute. lt is an inspiration for all.
Adele you have a beautiful way of taking ‘self’ out of ‘selfies’ and making it about true connection with the world – a deeply inspiring sharing thank you.
Love the way you capture the smart phone’s supremacist positioning within our lives, at the dinner table and on holiday, .. and even during work meetings i find it very commonplace too. It is sad when a tech device replaces human contact, and this current and increasing preoccupation with our smartphones is a reflection of the greater issue of this world – the fact that in spite of people wanting connection/to be connected, the one connection we’re truly missing is the one ‘at home’ with us…..the fact we seem more plugged in to our smartphone than the person we’re with can highlight the avoidance or resistance many of us in getting personal with ourselves – through self-connection.
“I saw the honest, as well as the not so honest, expressions of myself” – totally Adele, it is amazing what you can see in photos.. and i noted for myself a few years back what photos capture [everything beyond the image], and that a reason why i never really enjoyed having my photo taken was not just to not be seen, although it is some of this, but avoiding seeing the ‘everything beyond’ and hence the self-applied critique as a result: to see one’s jealousy, comparison, sadness, lack of fullness is a hard thing, and invariably the photo never turns out well. Though when there is honesty to see all what we see, and accept our imperfections beyond the physical ones, the veil lifts and the photo becomes a gorgeous capture of everything – the moment, the past, and also future.
The resistance towards technology I had was a form of control and resistance on my part to take further responsibility to first connect with myself and also to share this connection. A reaction to anything that does not feel true in the world is a call for our deeper responsibility to live this truth first as example.
I love this story and this has happened to me too, selfies are expanding to include people not known before, so much fun.
I love reading this beautiful reminder that intimacy begins with ourselves, our connection to our soul and the expression thereafter with technology as a tool to express. I loved how you used selfies to see yourself beyond the physical. Inspired to do the same.
This is awesome Adele – A selfie can reveal the depths of who we are and be far more than the snapshot-instant-image posted to send out a contrived and engineered image of how we think we should look. Selfies used for expressions of truth, now that’s something that is entirely different.
Wow Adele, you’ve just offered us one of the most used forms of photography (the selfie) as being a self awareness tool!! Through a series of selfies we’re able to observe our selves and learn about expression;the honest from the dishonest; the great choice from the not so great; why we are posting what we post… and observe within the thread of images the very part of us that is unchanging.
“I did not want to hide any longer. I was choosing to step out from my own shadows.” Adele what an inspiration your are! I love it how you chose to fulfill your deep commitment.
Technology advancements are financially driven as every year there has to come a new model of a smart phone or tablet to keep the sales going. Every advancement provides us with new functionalities in our communication with other people, but this does not bring truer or better connection as this can only be found within ourselves first. When we come from our connection these devices can be used wisely, otherwise they will only be an extension of our wayward way of living, in disconnection with ourselves and all others we live with.
Technology is and has changed our world. It has changed the way we communicate, how we express, how we are with each other. Like everything, technology can be used to breed a deeper separation or used as a way to deepen our connection. I love your sharing Adele, showing us a way in which technology can be used for the latter.
Using technology to share truth with the world is a gift for us to give back.
Connect, connect, connect is key. Without ever feeling our own love, technology will always be void of connection. Technology is never greater than the connection we are when we are being ourselves.
How our society is today is what we have chosen as humanity. If we have always chosen to connect deeply in truth without reservation, our reality today may be very different, whilst blaming anyone or anything is not wanting to take responsibility to see this and will keep us imprisoned in our self created disconnection.
What a beautiful exploration of your own self Adele, and bringing a new light to how we view the use of smart phones, or anything external for that matter as it matters not what it is we are talking about. If we bring all of our presence to what we are doing, everything we do within that experience will be filled with love and be truly serving all.
I have had so much resistance to all technological stuff myself, and most of it had to do with fear of not understanding it or of making mistakes and even fear of losing myself in it. Today I realise that was just out of irresponsibility and not wanting to keep up with where the world is at. A couple of years ago it all changed and I started to really understand that the devices are just tools, amazing tools that we can choose to use wisely if we are first and foremost connected to ourselves, we do not need to be owned by them.
Social Media exposes the lack of connection many of us live with in this world hiding behind a ‘social media profile’ that we create by what we ‘creatively’ post through words or helpful apps, and selected pictures we upload online. Social media can then become abusive because we see a false image and then as Adele was exposing a “superficial understanding between people”. As the tension builds social media becomes blatant abuse through words and specifically designed social media apps like snap chat where your posts last for 10 secs then deleted which leaves us all open to whatever vile act is possible. Its creating a cess pit that many are gradually sliding into.
Remarkable turnaround from being a luddite to using a smartphone very smartly and in true Adele style, with depth and amazing honesty, seasoned with precious connection.
It is always our choice about how we use technology. Smart phones have made us more isolated, less social, and have changed the lifestyles of many, often not in a positive way. We never used to have to be constantly on our phones or have our phones glued to us everywhere we go but now we treat phones like they are part of our body and we function poorly when they are not around. We choose whether we use our phones for loving connections or to feed our addiction and feelings of low self worth.
‘I saw the honest, as well as the not so honest, expressions of myself.’ – Well said Adele, I find that the only way anyting is truly healing or developing in my life is when I am prepared to look at myself with honesty and true self-awareness in all that I do.
Awesome blog Adele. I too earlier this year put myself on a selfie program and have found it super powerful. At first I was very resistant and found it difficult to ‘see’ myself but in time I grew to see the beauty in me and have enjoyed the reflection that I see with each selfie I take. It is evident and also revealing with each photo as to how I am feeling about myself, so it brought an increased awareness to how I am in my connection with me on a daily basis.
And I really love how you expressed this so clearly and with such wisdom dear Adele: “When a selfie expresses the universal and equal qualities of our Soul, such as joy and stillness, this is felt by all, as we all hold these qualities in our essence equally. The power of a true selfie is not about me, but it is about you, me and everyone else.” Thank you, this is truly something for all to connect to.
“When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul.” – Awesome expression Adele. I am not very good at all at taking selfies, I find it awkward to hold the phone and everything; the times it did work for me what was seen was a true connection with the love and joy that I am, often in connection with another.
I have seen many of your posts on social media, Adele, and I love them! You are playful, cheecky and joy-full, and it’s a blessing for all to see. Thank you for using social media in this way, – for too many people, social media is not so social at all. It leads to greater distances between people under the disguise that we’re only a click away. But that “click” is not real connection anyway.
I reckon many children are jealous of their parents’ smartphones. I once saw on Facebook, a little kid sitting and saying to himself ” I wish I was a smartphone, then they (the parents) would look at me all day”. How sad is that.
A beautiful angle on technology and connection, Adele, – and we can all agree that it’s in the way it’s being used, either with love and connection or to distract and check out. That is all up to each and every one. It’s the same with other things, like money, devices in our homes etc. It’s the connection to ourselves first and foremost which determines the reflection into the world.
Millions of people worldwide use their smartphones to disconnect and distract themselves, how amazing if these millions used their smartphones to truly connect and serve humanity – this certainly brings a deeper level of responsibility for us all.
I spoke with a young woman the other day who had become addicted to social media, specifically the never-ending quest to outdo one’s peers with selfies. It lead to, or compounded, all sorts of body image issues for her. And this is commonplace, from what I can gather. Comparison – what a terrible disease this is.
Selfies can be gorgeous but other-ies bring in the quality of brotherhood. it is great though that selfies can be reclaimed in the way described by Adele – they have been thoroughly bastardised by the cult of celebrity.
If one person presses the shutter of their smartphone looking into the camera while seeing and deeply touched by their own amazing love, this “selflovie” shared is the truth of a selfie.
It feels very sad to see quite small children engrossed in their screens for vast periods of time. However in my childhood it was for many of us books, and before then, well who’s to say being lost in our own thoughts wasn’t the then-equivalent? If there is a naturalness to child at play with technology or reading or gazing that feels fine – it’s the checked out-ness and withdrawal that does not feel right.
I find that my child even when left with a technological device chooses to not use it (when he has the freedom to) and went for a walk, when as a parent I have chosen to step up in my responsibility of awareness.
It’s interesting how our technological devices can be used as a distancing tool or to create a barrier or layer between ourselves and others. However – as always – the choice lies with the user as to how we use these tools.
From relationships to cooking to drinking tea we can do anything in connection or disconnection.
Isn’t it interesting how revealing technology has been for us. This idea that it’s bringing people together, whilst great in theory, really highlights just how far away we are from ourselves and each other if we choose to feel that. Technology, for the most part is used as another opportunity to remain distracted from what is really going on, but as you’ve demonstrated Adele, there is another opportunity here, one that allows us to truly connect and then use technology as another tool to do so.
What an awesome approach to Selfies Adele. I’m certainly still testing the waters with this as I slowly come out from hiding myself. Letting go of what others think is a huge one for me, as is accepting who I am in full.
Lovely Adele, to be using a tool that many of us use to ‘check out’ and distract ourselves from living life that is in front of us (in person) as a tool for connection.
Thank you Adele for a really beautiful article, giving me a deeper understanding of the power that technology can bring.
“When a selfie expresses the universal and equal qualities of our Soul, such as joy and stillness, this is felt by all, as we all hold these qualities in our essence equally. The power of a true selfie is not about me, but it is about you, me and everyone else.”
Each and every day I appreciate my smartphone now, as it provides me with a tool where blogs such as these can be written anywhere I am. Everything that comes through me to be shared can be recorded immediately or even shared instantly with no delay.
“Technology on its own cannot bring about this connection, nor can it inhibit this connection, because it is always our choice to connect with ourselves or not.” Technology is a tool, nothing more. It is not our saviour and it is not our downfall either. It is the way we use it that determines our attitude towards it. It is an easy scapegoat to demonise technology and blame it for where we are and the disconnection we may feel, but again it is just a tool. Blaming it for the state of our relationship to ourselves or others is the same as blaming hammers for the quality of our homes.
Adele, I love this article and will re-visit it. There is resistance in me (both technological and in terms of connection) to really hear and understand what you have shared.
Very simply and powerfully said Adele, technology alone does not inspire us, people inspire when they live from their innermost and share themselves with others.
It is lovely to hear how you have used the selfie to not only go deeper within yourself, but to connect with others in such a playful way Adele. Somehow you make a photo of yourself a soulful experience and a way of connecting and confirming that we are all in essence the same.
It is so essential that we see technology as just a tool. Nothing more. In so much current social debate about the pros and cons with technology, the Internet and social media, the attention is diverted onto the phone, computer or technology. This has nothing to do with it and merely enables us to avoid responsibility of the choices we are making and the society we have created. If you hit your finger when banging in a nail, do you blame the hammer?
‘Technology alone can not bring about connection’. Absolutely, it’s ironic that we use social media to connect with others because we do not feel met but do not put the same amount of time and energy with the people we live with.
Thank you Adele, I applaud the way in which you have introduced technology and connection. It is totally up to the individual to use technology as a tool to connect or as a weapon to disconnect. Total disconnection happens if we use our phone to make a bomb or as a tool to isolate ourselves from others. Connection happens when we use our inner-heart to feel what is required in each situation and use every opportunity to be with another in a harmoniously loving way. We can be blessed by technology when we use it wisely because it gives us immediate access to all of humanity.
Through people connecting and expressing the truth, is this not what finally took us out of the dark ages?
So let’s not get stuck in life, which becomes all about technology but embrace it as a tool that has its place and use our face-to-face expression to serve and expand our expression, along with our amazing ability with written words which also expands our expression.
Balance is surely what is needed!
“I had had enough of the devastation of looking outside of myself for connection. From a place of deep fragility, I made the choice to connect back to myself.” This is such a powerful line, Adele. I can feel that this single choice was life changing, as it brought you back into a true relationship with yourself that has only deepened since that moment.
It is great when we can use a tool like smartphones in a loving way when many others may use that same tool to check out. It may even make it easier for others to also use a smartphone in a loving way.
Yes Like you Adele,
I too have for a long time resisted getting a smart phone and embracing technology due to the belief that it only adds to the disconnection present in life.. However technology is only a tool directed by our impulse to truly serve humanity or simply serve our own individual needs and emptiness.
Like anything it is for us to discern our use of technology and take an honest look at how we use it in our lives. Like many things in life it can be a vehicle to express the wholeness and soulness of ourselves or a vehicle used to distract and further disconnect from within.
Thanks, Adele. You have inspired me to meet myself with greater honesty, so I too have started to explore what I see in the reflection of a mirror or photo. “One thing was absolute: I did not want to hide any longer. I was choosing to step out from my own shadows.” Very powerful…
I can recognise what you say about feeling the disconnection in your family, and from what I have experienced myself as well as what I observe more or less everywhere in society, this is the norm. Along comes the devices that gets our attention and we conveniently found something we could blame for this lack of connection. The connection needs to happen first and foremost within ourselves, that then will naturally allow us to make a connection with others.
We are the users of our smart phones, computers, iPads etc so the responsibility and creation sits solely with ourselves. As you so beautifully share Adele, when you looked at the situation honestly you saw the real picture. I have also fallen into being annoyed with devices when my family are overly using them and reacting a lot (making it all about the material thing) but see now that it comes back to connection and if it is not there, there are a multitude of distractions available to fill the space. We all naturally know connection from our bodies, and the more we hold this back the more tension we feel.
How cool to have this experience and for you to realise this self discovery with technology actually had to come with your connection with yourself first and foremost and then with others. That neediness you talk about is prevalent everywhere on the mobile phone front, judging how you are liked by the amount of people that say they like you…hmm as you say something doesn’t sit right with this. The opportunity that technology has to offer us all is ginormous; We all need to stop and connect back within ourselves first to our Souls and then we would have true connection everywhere, blessing us with the beauty that we are.
I too resisted even having a mobile phone for years, but have one now and like you Adele have taken many selfies with it. There are some things that I have seen in them that I didn’t want to see, along with seeing an innocence and beauty that I had not considered to be qualities that I hold before taking the selfies. Doing so has helped me greatly to connect to myself in full. Teaching me an honesty that can be ignored when looking in the mirror, however, the selfies always exposed what need to be exposed, seen and accepted. As I have discovered it is in the acceptance of what I see that the true letting go and healing begins.
Adele, you highlight some great points about smartphones and the lack of connection and isolation it brings between people. Then we blame it on the device and don’t take responsibility, spot on. That’s a great message for all parents with kids because this is a topic of conversation at schools and it is the technology that is blamed and answers are all calculated from that point back, so we will never evolve from this until we make it about ourselves and the parts we play in the disconnection.
I find it ironic but so true that smartphones, originally designed for communication actually have become a course of disconnection and for checking out from life. I know this too well having done this myself and often having felt how much less I would have done this without my smartphone. This in itself is not true as if we are looking to check out or be disconnected we will find a way whether technology or otherwise – the answer lies in how and why we choose to do what we do; the phone does not actually create or prevent connection – it is our choices which do this.
I have yet to take a selfie probably for the very reason you say Adele, “I saw the honest, as well as the not so honest, expressions of myself.”
Adele I love what you share here around selfies and how there can be so much more to them but it depends on how we are and what we bring to the moment. As you say ‘Technology on its own cannot bring about this connection,…’ – This is indeed very true and a reason I really resisted smartphones at first. I still make sure I don’t rely on them or am too attached to them, because in doing so I know I loose the connection with others.
It is so easy to be dismissive of someone or something instead of looking within ourselves as to why we may be feeling this way…what are we choosing to turn away from? Most probably an opportunity of a deeper connection. This is truly interesting, because this is the exact reason we give for turning away, that there is no connection anymore!
“When a selfie expresses the universal and equal qualities of our Soul, such as joy and stillness, this is felt by all, as we all hold these qualities in our essence equally.” In connection to ourselves, selfies are a great way to reflect everything we are, back to us all. Brilliant blog Adele, the way you embraced this technology was an acceptance of the love you are.
I love the idea that technology can be a catalyst for connection – it can support us to connect with people from all over the world and give us the opportunity to do this in an instant, however on its own technology cannot ‘give’ us the connection that we avoid in person.
Your experiment and observation of yourself is an inspiring one, “With every selfie I took, I wanted to look deeper. I saw how I posted the images — with or without filters, what kind of filters. I felt into the reasons to post, or not post, a selfie.” We so often do what we do without thinking about it and pay no attention to the kind of filters we want to be seen through. I love your deep honesty.
Thank you Adele, like any form of communication we can use our smart phones to check out, to stimulate us or as with social media use it as a way to measure our popularity. When we use it honestly, truthfully and with awareness the mobile phone can be a great tool for connecting with others. It is like with everything we can either use it to abuse or use it evolve.
Aren’t selfies great! My initial reaction to them was ‘why would anyone want to take a picture of themself, how indulgent’, but my observation is that it has not only become just about ourselves, they bring people together, especially with the invention of that crazy selfie stick, which I find a quite hilarious way to bring little groups of people together in a way that was not possible before and rather have yourselves hide behind the camera you are there, right in the frame, marvellous.
Group selfies do bring people together in a fun way and harmony has to be first lived amongst the group for that to be captured.
I enjoyed reading this blog and how our phones can be used for connection or used as a tool to withdraw from life. In my observations regarding my own use I have felt the joy of connecting with others and the flat feeling of wanting to escape the world.
When we use technology as a filter to measure the connection we have with others then we have to realise that we are using the technology as a barrier to protect us from true connection to others whether they are near or far.
“When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul.” I love this Adele, using a smartphone for good! But it is really like anything, it is the quality in which we do or use something in, that is key.
Every challenging situation we see in the world is an opportunity to turn it around for deeper awareness and responsibility.
In connection, there is no differentiation in sharing with everyone, in fact, the fullness of connection is to share it with all, whether it is face to face with someone or on social media, whether it is a complete stranger or a close family member.
When technology is introduced to a world where our accepted and normal movement is disconnection, we can all foresee the devastation that could entail. So it requires deep awareness to first observe how our movements are, and a resolve to return to moving in connection.
Whatever the movements we are in, will be the movement that impulses us to pick up the phone, and it will be the quality and intention of how the phone will be used. Connection or the lack of is not about phones or technology, it is about us and our movements.
I enjoyed reading your experience with selfies Adele. Our photograph reveals all and I can feel how you engaged with this process with a view to receiving all of that and exploring your true expression. Very cool.
My iphone4 is old now – and very slow! – but I am looking forward to updating it as I can feel the opportunity to express more with it, rather than holding me back, waiting for screens to load!
Technology can be used to great benefit to mankind if we are discerning, responsible and aware of our relationship with it, we can be an instrument of love and change.
This blog really highlights the illusion of connection that technology has brought, providing us with a place to hide and check out instead of committing to the world in full. The camera never lies but always reveals a true reflection of our level of connection to ourselves and the truth of our expression of ourselves.
“I had had enough of the devastation of looking outside of myself for connection. From a place of deep fragility, I made the choice to connect back to myself.” It is connection with our soul that brings us the love we are all seeking, it is within us all.
There appears to be a natural curiosity to look at photos or in the mirror at self, but then we use these tools to be critical of how we appear because we are not willing to go beyond looking on a superficial level. Is it possible we ARE seeking to look deeper within ourselves but our lack of self-love, self-connection and our avoiding of responsibility holds us back. Your willingness to use the smartphone to explore going deeper with yourself is reflecting another way that selfies can be used. However as you express Adele “Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it”.
Brilliant blog Adele, and how awesome to bring yourself back to the connection with yourself through a smartphone! Who would have thought it! I had an amazing experience today regarding connection. I was in the supermarket with two of my amazing friends. They were chatting and connecting with people in their own unique way so I decided to join in… all went swimmingly well, or so I thought, until my body started to tell me something. I pondered on it further and realised that I was comparing their expression with my own and the ‘connection’ I had made was not a true connection at all, it was totally coming from my head, which felt awful. After I came down with a bit of a bump, I had the realisation that what I was trying to do was connect outwardly, rather than deepening the connection to myself, which is TRULY felt by another and there is sometimes no need to say anything, just eye contact may be enough, and it is important to honour our own unique expression, which brought back to me the true meaning of self acceptance and appreciating ourselves for who WE are without comparison.
p.s. I still haven’t got the hand of the selfie, but you have inspired me to look deeper at myself from all angles, thank you Adele.
Everyone is longing for true connection, and we can all feel the difference when something is the real deal – however we are in such deep protection and not wanting to feel reality, which sometimes hurts. The choice is then to check out and numb ourselves with the help of the iPhone / Smart phone or any computers or TV for that matter.
Adele I love how your journey with selfies became so much more than being about self – the beautiful progression from developing a deeper relationship with an appreciation for yourself, to then sharing this connection with others, thereby allowing them the opportunity to do the same.
‘The power of a true selfie is not about me, but it is about you, me and everyone else.’ This is so true Adele. I have to admit I have never taken a selfie but reading your blog and feeling its truth has inspired me to have a go.
Adele, thanks for another great article, ‘I saw the honest, as well as the not so honest, expressions of myself.’ It is wonderful to see all of this in a photograph, I had not considered what a great reflection for us a photo can be.
I absolutely love the evolution you share with us Adele – where you came from and where you are now at with selfies and using smartphones. I welcome the inspiration and for me I will start by looking at this and being honest with myself: “it reflected the lack of connection that had always been in my home, which was now being magnified with the use of the smartphone.”.
‘ One thing was absolute: I did not want to hide any longer. I was choosing to step out from my own shadows.’ – This is such a significant point Adele – how common is it to do the opposite, to hold back and to measure how much we can shine, it being in a selfie or anywhere else in our daily lives.
Whichever way you look at it technology reveals a lot about us as a people – our behaviours, ideals, beliefs, misconceptions. As you say Adele, ‘selfies’ could be equally used to bring our radiance and connectedness to the world.
Yes Adele it can be extremely disconcerting to be in the company of people and they are preferring to focus on their technological gadgets. I can remember when TV first came in and I used to find it hard not to watch the screen even when someone whom I loved came into the room. There is something compelling about the screen for the human eye. And it can never be personal to anyone. Each one has to re-establish their connection with themselves.
Connection to self first – yeah, that’s the key! It may be the key for everything in life. Being on time, being healthy, being fulfilled, feeling purpose in life.
Well done Adele. I have a friend who is on a program with mobile-selfies, which means doing a selfie every day that reflects the beauty of oneself. To learn to appreciate oneself. This is such a playful way to work on our self-appreciation. I love it.
Maybe technology is not per se the enemy, but our handling with it…
I read with great interest your experience with taking selfies. Until recently, I had always thought taking selfies was just another form of amusement which mainly appealed to young people. However, myself and a group of women of all different ages who lived in different towns or cities, had been doing a little exercise which involved emailing each other daily expressing a few things that we appreciated about ourselves. We all found this simple exercise to be a very beautiful and enriching experience and noticed significant changes in how we were with ourselves and that this flowed onto how we were with others. Then one of the women suggested that we take selfies every day and add them to our self appreciation emails. Now, for me, that was a very exposing experience. I found it very challenging to say the least. How can you be camera shy with yourself? I decided to take the Nike approach and ‘just do it!’
When we use technology, as a tool to support us to connect it is fantastic. However, what is needed before we can connect with another is that we have to first of all re-connect with ourselves. Once we do that there is no limit to how supportive technology can be.
I like the point being made that connection to self is paramount and smart phones or any other communicative piece of equipment is used as a vehicle for your expression
Adele I too have been using my phone to take selfies. I have been stunned at not only how differently I look from day to day but when I look at the photo how differently I feel in each photo. I look like completely different people, the range is huge and yet if you asked me if I was a person of contrast, I would tell you that I was very constant, it’s fascinating to use my phone as a mirror for both the outside and the inside of who I am.
Technology and the use of phones is certainly something that permeates a large majority of lives and over increasingly longer periods of time. (I remember the days when there were no mobile phones and when telephone use was for reserved for special use. I also remember the days when telephones ‘were’ used to communicate when distance precluded face to face. Much has changed in this regard over the last 40-50 years!) I know I sometimes get caught up in my phone and use it as a distraction, so remembering that the quality of connection with anyone or anything always comes from a connection with self first, is a great reminder!
I love your blog Adele, it has given me a whole new spin on using my smartphone, taking selfies, something I have never done. To actually experiment with and look deeper into expressions of myself and document what it means to deeply connect is not something I expected to be doing with my smartphone.
‘I started to feel the isolation that I was actually already living with’ – this is such an important statement – what if well before the teenagers got their phones and computers and withdrew from the family, the disconnection was already there and the technology is just highlighting the issue
Gorgeous Adele, I love the transformation of yourself and your willingness to be seen in full that you allowed through the selfies… very inspiring to hear a woman speak like that.
“When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul. Technology on its own cannot bring about this connection, nor can it inhibit this connection, because it is always our choice to connect with ourselves or not. Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.” Absolutely spot on.
This is a very important topic to open up for discussion Adele. Used irresponsibly, like any tool technology has the potential to become a substitute for true connection with others and there is very little reciprocity in a Smart phone!
A smart phone is a tool – we can use it for harmony and joy and we can use it to check out or to get lost. With smartphones it is harder than with other items not to get lost but it is perfectly possible to use a smartphone in a supportive and joyful way.
It’s interesting what you shared about holding back and initially choosing not to purchase or own a smartphone, and that you felt this was a way of contracting or limiting yourself. This exposes that technology isn’t ‘all bad’, and that we can actually use it for expressing ourselves and connecting with us and others, so some hold back from engaging with it if they are not ready to do this on such a public scale.
We now have great tools for potential connection but only if used when we are in connection with ourselves first. Thank you for sharing your resistance Adele which I can relate to and then your subsequent embrace of the possibilities of connection through selfies which I have always avoided and feel it is because of their potential for exposing how connected or not we are with ourselves.
“I saw the honest, as well as the not so honest, expressions of myself.” Thanks, Adele, I can feel that taking selfies can provide an accurate reflection of what we are presenting to the world through our facial expressions. What a great way to get to know ourselves, and deepen our connection to the essence which shines through.
I love looking at photos of people, because ultimately I love people. It doesn’t matter how good a photo looks or gorgeous the subject matter is, what always shines through is the quality in which the photo was taken, the essence of the person captured. It is glaringly obvious when a photo is taken to ‘look’ good and one that feels good.
‘Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.’ This is truly inspiring Adele and in one sentence you say it all.
We can have all the technology in the world but nothing beats connecting person to person.
Well its great to see someone put something positive into something that drives me nuts, the amount of disconnection that smart phone and other modern tech brings just does my head in, people walking round with head phones on staring at their phones, oblivious to themselves or whatever is happening around them, missing nature, near misses with cars or taking bloody millions of selfies with objects and people instead of enjoying the moment.
Always Adele, connect first to self and then to others and whatever else we’re doing. It is sad to see millions choosing to do it the other way round: reaching out to others out of need and superficially, without first connecting to themselves.
For me the important thing is to have a true loving connection to myself without this I can not have a true or loving connection with others. Hence if I am connected to myself it doesn’t matter if the connection is via social media or in personal because each connection will get all of me. Therefore I only can agree: “Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.”
“The power of a true selfie is not about me, but it is about you, me and everyone else.” A timely reminder, thank you. Before posting images on social media it’s important to check in and ask the question, ‘is this intended to serve self, or serve humanity?’.
Great question Stevie.
Living in true connection with oneself allows the soul to come into the body, and to work through the body. This is our responsibility as human beings. We can only distract ourselves from this for so long. Stories like yours Adele are deeply inspirational, as it demonstrates that true relationship with ourselves is attainable by everyday people, living every day lives, in this modern age.
Living in true connection with ourselves is different to observing ourselves. Connection requires us to embody and activate what is felt on the inside, and to share these qualities openly and unconditionally with others.
I love how you used selfies to study yourself Adele. Not out of judgement or abuse, but in genuinely wanting to get to know yourself, and to free yourself from hiding – using the reflections as an opportunity to deepen.
As you so beautifully say Adele, the mobile phone does not create separation, it reflects the separation we are already in. All our ‘creations’ are showing exactly how we are with life.
This is a truly stunning piece of writing Adele, I love the journey you have taken with discovering and revealing your true self through photography. You are absolutely right in recognising that inspiration comes from people being in connection when they use the technology and not from the technology itself. Very cool.
‘Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.’ It is always about connection and responsibility for self first Adele. What a timely reminder, thank you!
“When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul”- Beautifully expressed Adele.
Thank you for this deeper understanding. I too was very resistant in getting a smart phone and saw it as a distraction from connecting to others more intimately, but now I understand it is not the phone that is the problem, but it is how we choose to use it.
‘Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.’ This is an absolute truth we must all keep at the front of our minds. How often do we just champion technology without the discernment of why it has been created and how it can be used to connect i.e build much needed community in a world that is vastly craving exactly that.
Adele you can feel how far you have come with understanding and appreciation around technology from where it owns you to you owning it. Your sharing is another important message that there is unlimited forms of expression and that evil can only manifest through our choices.
What a big surprise we would all get if we all opened up to show the world who we truly are. Then I have a feeling we would see that the ‘self’ we have so long promoted, perpetuated and presented is not actually the true us at all. Imagine a world filled with photos of people marvelling in the fact that they are Divine like you Adele and absolutely connected intimately to every other human being. Then it would cease to be selfies anyway – ‘Soulfies’ that is what we would see.
That is absolutely Cool Joseph, Soulfies—absolutely brilliant.
Tools are only tools – they could support us in our evolution or retardation. We make them what they are by how we use them.
With the popularity of selfies and the widespread usage of social media, it feels very important to discuss a true way to express on these mediums. We certainly do all want connection and to feel love, but it is only within that we find these. A truly awesome exploration here Adele, it’s a topic that needs a lot of discussion.
Smart phones are just phones and its the way we communicate with them that brings the quality we are to another.
‘I wanted to feel myself, to go beyond my skin’ Wow this really made me consider feeling myself inwardly and more than just my physicality.
Technology itself is not harmful but many people it seems are leading virtual lives and are totally consumed by their devices.
I am all for technology but if we are losing our true connection with ourselves and others this is not a ‘smart’ advancement or can be considered a progression.
I was also fascinated by the way you developed a relationship with self, simply by beginning to take selfies you were able to document the development of your connection to you and then the natural progression to connecting to others. You have me understanding more clearly that there can be a true purpose to selfies and actually how loving it can be not only for self but for your connection to all others.
“…. connection had to be first built within myself …..” Without this foundation first how can one connect with another? For without it who or what is there for the other to connect to?
Adele you have really made such a clear distinction here that it is never about the tools we use but always about the way and quality in which we use them. If we use something like technology or social media to connect without firstly connecting to self then it makes sense that what we feel is disconnection. As always it begins with the quality of our relationship to self.
I love how taking selfies can be used in a way that it is a learning and deepening in connection, beautiful expressed too; ‘ I saw the part of myself that never changes, still and unwavering. I was then inspired to go deeper.’
Anything and everything can be used as a tool of connection or disconnection. I really enjoyed reading how you used technology to bring you greater awareness about yourself which led you back to the true source of connection and the one where we all meet, our essence.
Adele, I really enjoy the honesty in the way you express….a journey of discovery and expansion.
This is a deeply insightful comment -“this felt very raw as it reflected the lack of connection that had always been in my home, which was now being magnified with the use of the smartphone” as it deepened my thinking around how we can blame something – i.e. smartphones – without seeing beyond that as to what is reflecting. It is only a tool and it is up to us to look at why are we using that tool. Thank you Adele.
Social media is great when you are connected to yourself and share truth with others. It can also be the biggest illusion ever and distraction from real life.
Anything we do without connection is loveless. As you have shared Adele the connection that we first have with ourselves dictates the connection we will have with another whether we meet them through technology or face to face
Just reading some of the comments and the blog again, I can really see that technology can either harm or heal, it is not the technology that does it but how we use and express through it.
In cases like now where I am using technology, I give thanks and appreciation that I have access to blog sites like these that inspire me and ask me to feel and go deeper with my self development and also how lovely it is to share these with others so that they too may be inspired.
Reading this sentence Adele was like a massive hit to my body and a big wake up call.
“I started to feel the isolation that I was actually already living with, but still did not want to take responsibility for my own creation. So I decided to blame it on the phone and I became jealous of it!”
I was not aware that I do this until reading this. I have a similar thing in my family and at times I wish all screens and devices did not exist but what you are sharing here in this blog is that the issue was there long before the screen became a part of it. There is a lot here for me to consider and look into. Thank you.
I did a selfie project last year and took a selfie every day. A great way to really look at myself and see the reflection of the choices I made. A great learning in honestly looking at myself and connecting back to the real and beautiful woman within. There were days I was surprised by the clarity in my eyes , there were days where I could see the effect of eating stimulating food and every bit of hardness was visible in my face. The best way to see, change and connect and a great learning.
Absolutely brilliant blog Adele, I love your honesty, fragility and openness. We have been presented with many new tools, technology, gadgets, inventions etc. in life but it certainly is the way we use them that determines whether we bring true connection, inspire or do the opposite. It always seem easier to blame things around us or even people when we can feel disconnection with ourselves and others, but ultimately we are always responsible for our choices and our way of life. We have the ability and choice to embrace true connection or not with everything available in life, the choice is always ours.
Who would have thought we could use a smartphone like this: “When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul”.
“I was using such tools to escape from committing to the life that was before me.” This is how it often feels: something to fill up the emptiness and to cover up there is no connection to oneself. When I travel with the train in the morning and evening and see so many people preoccupied with their smartphone instead of talking with one another or resting in themselves deeply I wonder how we have become so disconnected from who we innately are: divine being all connected to each other and part of the universe.
Thanks for your blog Adele, I just took a selfie the other day when I felt really connected and lovely so when a day later something came up and I got caught up in emotions I looked at the photo to remind myself who I am because the emotion was not me but just something that I got caught up in and had started to indulge in without realising at first. Having a reflection of myself to remind me was great and it didn’t take me long to stop and choose the connected me, the lovely me rather than the emotional mess.
Rosie that is one of the tools I constantly come back to too, a physical reminder of a confirmation already felt within the body. As what is irrefutable from the body is what would return my movements to deepening this confirmation.
So true it is Adele that how we are with ourselves will be reflected in how we are with everything and everyone. Even when we seemingly consider someone else greater than how we consider ourselves, without true care of our self first what another is getting is without our all which is not true at all. .
There are many tools in this world that we use for communication…whether we go so far as to make it about connection, well that is the huge question. We can talk to each other and share photos, but that is no guarantee that we are really connected to ourselves or each other. What you have done Adele is made the conscious choice to bring the tool (in this case the phone) to life, used the selfie as part of your self-connecting program and extended it to include others. And I must say, I love seeing your selfies. They bubble with joy and self -appreciation. Great medicine for anyone whose eyes light on them.
I have a moment when I am about to write a text, I check where I am at and purposefully tap each key with my full attention as if I am speaking to the person. In the past I found a lot of confusion can come with a text requiring further texts of clarification, which I realised it was my hesitation and lack of confidence using the phone, funny… rarely happen anymore. Perhaps it’s time also to embrace the selfie photo with the same connection , Adele you have certainly demonstrated the relationship you have developed within that feels so clear and honest that comes through in your beautiful photos.
I’ve always found it difficult to take selfies because I hated nearly every shot I took, would always delete it and there is no way I would ever post it on social media. It’s only this year that I got into it, mostly with other people first and I even posted them on social media. In this whole process I realised I was starting to love who I was and when I looked at these photos I not only was ok with them but I loved them because I could feel my love for me. How I feel about selfies will still change from week to week depending on how I feel about myself, so it’s a great tool to be honest about how I’m relating with myself.
It is the same as having pictures taken and criticizing what we see, because we do not have the foundation within our self to appreciate who we are and what we bring. It is the reflection of the criticism we have towards our self and the emptiness that we don’t want to see.
The Science and Art of your living way is what inspires me most about what you have shared in this writing Adele. I love feeling your exploration and discoveries of your connection with you. Thank you for bringing it to print.
Great wake up call your blog Adele, I recognize the fear of the isolation that seemed to come with the use of smartphones. Understanding that it is actually a reflection of what is already there we can stop blaming the smartphone and start taking responsibility for our own connection first.
When in disconnection, we can use virtually anything to maintain our disconnection – even technology that is supposed to ‘connect’ us as human beings.
Adele I was with you, never wanted to embrace the technology that was available through my phone, I felt the disempowering nature that eroded personal contact and separated us even further. Now realising Its an essential tool that can bridge the globe, the people in it have all become accessible by just a simple call away which brings down the barriers and has us realise, we are all just so close if we choose it and use it for the purpose of service and true connection
It highlights how quickly we can blame another person or thing for that which isn’t working in our lives; however, when we take responsibility for making adjustments within ourselves, and going deeper, there is simply no need for blame; but only room for deeper understanding.
‘Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.’ – Yes Adele beautifully said. It is not technology that connects us but our connection to ourselves that is felt in anything that we do. Without this there exists only superficial encounters that engage us emotionally and keep us from embracing the opportunity to deepen and explore our connection to love for ourselves and with each other.
I love the way you have turned the ‘selfie’ trend into a self-awareness trend Adele, how your smartphone became a mirror in which you could read everything about yourself in the reflection of each selfie you took.
Technology feels the same as life…it is not what we do, but how we do it.
The world of technology has advanced upon us rapidly with all the wonders and pitfalls and sometimes I feel that resisting it is just showing us how committed to life we are. Using technology to examine your connection to yourself is a playful and interesting project Adele. Just as in the way we can opt in and out of life, technology offers us easy connection with everyone or easy entertainment and escape. The great thing about technology is that it is instant and can really highlight and exaggerate something for us that perhaps we would otherwise have missed. Connection with ourselves is the most important thing we can do, so to use technology in this way, consciously embracing an idea to examine your connection with yourself is beautiful.
I have noticed a correlation between how connected I am with myself and the way I use social media. When feeling disconnected, which brings up feelings such as loneliness, I use social media a lot and in a certain way – where I’m focusing on other people and their photos. When I’m feeling connected with myself, there is much more of a focus of what interesting articles people are sharing and I use it far less. It can be a great tool of connection but can equally be used as a poor substitute. As you said Adele, connection with ourselves comes first.
Thank you for sharing this experience Adele. I am not a selfie taker, but know quite a few who are! They don’t hide from the camera yet equally don’t search it out. I can feel the power in that and can feel that hiding that is still more natural to me.
The epidemic of using technology to disconnect can only be understood when judgement is lifted. We all know how technology can disconnect people and how devastating that feels and that has to be clearly expressed. But it is the understanding of why we use technology to be distracted, to check out and to not connect and that would eventually allow ourselves and the world to return to the real deal connection—the connection with our Soul.
Beautiful Adele and quite provoking. In reading this and pondering on selfies and what I post I have realised how I use social media -when I make posts about myself it has been somewhat about a show and not about a connection with myself first that I am then reflecting to the world.
Technology is but only a tool and it is the quality in which we use it that determines whether it used for supporting our evolution, sharing love, our growth and development or for escaping, harming, hiding and avoiding true connection. So the responsibility is ours, in how we are with ourselves first and why we are choosing to use technology.
Using technology with the connection with Soul is a joy, technology is getting a healing every time we do.
Technology is getting a healing when used in connection. I love this Adele, not something I’d considered before but a responsibility to live by.
This is great insight and wisdom Adele. To understand and appreciate that tools of technology can be used so simply to support us to connect to ourselves and in turn offering this to connection with everyone. We are the master guiders and users of the intention and purpose we use any tool and with this we have the power to offer true loving healing for all.
Adele, thank you for sharing the loneliness and how you bridged this with the help of selfies. Their is a lot to reflect in your writing and I too have dragged my heals not only with smart phones but with social media. I can relate to your journey too. I find I can very easily connect with you through your photos. They show the joy and vitality of you and the deep open connection with yourself and others. You are very inspiring and hold nothing back.
“As I did not choose to be aware that connection had to be first built within myself, I needed social media to confirm if connection existed in my life or not.” This is enormous for us all for how many of us need social media in this way to confirm our connection and relationships in a way that props us up like a building with shaky foundations. When we have strong relationships with ourselves first social media has a whole different perspective.
I love the truth in what you have expressed. We can blame so many things in life without looking at our part in what we are experiencing. And technology is not responsible for bringing about or destroying connection around us, because when we are using it feeling the inner joy and love that we feel we naturally facilitate a connection and “it is always our choice to connect with ourselves or not.”
Adele, this is beautiful, ‘One thing was absolute: I did not want to hide any longer. I was choosing to step out from my own shadows.’ I have always thought of technology as a bad thing because I see how it can be so addictive, so I love what you are sharing here.
You make an important point Adele, which I feel is very common in the area of social media, and which is we may have many contacts and connections on this platform, but many people still feel alone and/or isolated, simply because people are looking for connection ‘out there’ instead of connecting with themselves first. I was one of those people too….
This is true, Adele. I feel you very much in the photos you post on Facebook and feel as though i know you well from the inside out. You are living proof of how technology can support us to feel deeper into who we are.
Adele, I had – even still do have to a degree – the belief that mobile phones are the cause of disconnection but it has nothing to do with the phones, it is our choice to disconnect first and foremost.
Taking selfies to truly explore yourself. I like this.
I have loved the study of selfies you have shared via Facebook and their natural growth and development and as I’ve been watching this beautiful form of expression unfold I have been feeling the invitation to join you in the sharing of true connection.
Technology is amazing, but indeed as you’re sharing Adele, it does nothing when there’s no Love in using technology. I was talking to a dear man I know about an inventive new tool to support elderly people. We both shared in different words how important we feel it is that this tool is implemented in a way that is serving the whole and not the individual. If the latter, technology is used for further individuality, rather than a tool that supports connection and evolution.
I love what you share about selfies here as most people use selfies to present an image and the moment they take a selfie, they change into something they are not. Like you say, true connection can only be there if we are connected with ourselves and know who we are.
This is beautiful Adele, you are showing us how we can connect in a world that hides behind technology and have fun with the very devices that we often use for distraction and to not connect with the world and use them as a means to express our connection.
What your sharing is that the disconnection we can see being created by technology was always there in the first place – that the smart phone exposes and exacerbates the lack of true connection well before it creates it.
Adele I have never before read an article like this on a smartphone, it brings a completely different perspective to what we understand about technology. I love the view that it can support connection, that the device is not evil – far from it – but that the way we use the technology can certainly be so.
So lovely to read your experiences Adele, I really got the sense towards the end of your article that we are all so intricately and knowingly connected and we spend a lot of energy trying to stay disconnected from one another, and use terms like stranger to remove the potential for intimacy. And we use the word intimacy to imply that it must have a sexual element, Yet we are all from the same place, and essentially made up of the same soul and physical matter, and perhaps that is what we really need to connect back to. And this is something we can do effortlessly, with or without a smartphone.
Taking selfies is exposing and does take us to a much deeper level of connection – I practiced taking selfies as part of an Appreciation program and struggled in the beginning as I was super judgmental but as time went on I began to truly see how beautiful I am and eventually I felt able to share this with the world.
Bringing truth and connection to selfies – love it Adele!
Its a great point that you make Adele, that being that it is not technology that is the issue. The issues were there before the technology.
Interestingly too, we can make the observation that there are more and more tools of connection available to us today (such as phones, skype, fuze, facebook etc) and most kids these days have phones and this is considered the norm – yet as a society, we are exhibiting more and more disconnection and there are more and more people who feel isolated and lonely!
Adele – very revealing to read and hear how social media can connect us or disconnect us depending on our intent and how we go about using it! You are spot on with this! And hence this will be the reflection of the depth of relationship that we have with ourselves as well as with those around us. Thank you!
We make amazing advances in technology but all of it is empty and meaningless if the connection with ourselves and others isn’t there….
Many people react to selfies and see them as a scourge because most selfies are taken by people without any connection to themselves whatsoever and so we receive an image that is empty, needy and/or hooking. I can feel so much joy and loveliness in the selfies you describe here Adele – you show that the energy we choose can be felt in absolutely everything.
The areas where we feel we want to react or resist are exactly the areas we have the responsibility to reflect truth.
It really is all about the user and what the intention is with anything that we do/use. I can also relate to resisting buying a smartphone as I too held off for some time, hanging onto the, I don’t need one of those, responses, but it can actually open you up to so much more of life and the beauty that is within it.
I have not really been a fan of selfies, there is often an emptiness in the pictures and a longing to be accepted. However, when I have seen friends take selfies and they are just having fun there is something about these pics that lights you up- I have a friend who has a knack of taking fun selfies that when you see them you can’t help but smile.
I love how you have used the selfie Adele to confirm your connection and expression of your soul. It is so playful and intimate yet can be shared with others to offer a powerful reflection. So bit by bit I seek to embrace the camera and video options these devices offer.
Just like anything, it’s the quality we do things in that counts – in connection with love and God. Or, in disconnection trying to find something outside of us that we are truly craving within.
I can see how my resistance to many forms of new technology is actually me still wanting to hide and not connect with others. Having said that like anything it needs to be used with that foundation of connection to myself without the neediness.
I love the end paragraph. Particularly- “When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul.” and “Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.” A lot of the smartphone users use it to check out of the intenseness they feel from life and not living themselves. Often I find myself doing this also- using my smartphone and social media to distract myself from feeling whats going on inside. I’ve also experienced what you have with taking selfies, they can tell you so much and the changes that you can see along the way are incredible.
I love how this blog charts the journey from mis – using smart phones for superficial connection to claiming their usage an instrument of genuine self connection – awesome sharing!
What a wonderful, but obviously painful, reflection the smart phone that was introduced into your home was for you Adele. To be shown by this piece of technology the depth of disconnection within your family and the isolation that you were living in is so telling, but how great that this was exposed. When we disconnect from ourselves we naturally disconnect from others, and life in general.
Before we had smartphones, we have always had the perfect thing that is reflecting back to us all of our choices good or bad. It is that thing that greets us every morning, the mirror in the bathroom. Most women carry one with them, and now the smartphone has replaced that! A truth that is hard to prove wrong is the person that will give us the most problems every day is always looking back at us from the mirror.
Smartphones are a tool. A tool that is particularly easy to use in a way that it magnifies our tendencies but the tendencies are ours and they can be supportive and harmonious or otherwise.
Adele well said and it is great you have exposed how technology can be used to connect or disconnect. Mostly as you initially experienced it is more about communication, filling an emptiness rather than accutually connecting with others. However, we can utilise it to connect with people we cannot physically have contact with and so it can have a purpose. Mostly though, at least how I see it phones and technology has disconnected us from real connections. We have learnt to abbreviate our expression. Like with most things we can abuse what we have on offer. For me nothing beats a face to face chat or walk with someone. No amount of technology, no amount of Facebook friends could ever be greater than this. We yearn for true communication and connection yet often find ourselves settling for less.
I have avoided a lot of technology over the years and feel perhaps a deeper look at what can be achieved with it is in order. I have never understood the whole selfie craze but after reading your sharing Adele, I see the deeper we go in the form of connection to ourselves, through looking at who we truly are can only be a positive experience. I have often looked at photos of myself and not liked them and I realise now that is because I was not connected and in myself at the time, I had left the building (the body)!
This is fantastic to read Adele, it shows that the way we are using our smartphones is not working. I feel it is only taking us further away from each other, while it can be a beautiful medium to share ourselves. Showing our connection in a world of disconnection.
The world we live in is somewhat crazy to say the least. We all long for true connection and yet at essence we are all one and from the one – ie totally connected! Then we have all these devices we use to try and connect but end up using them to avoid the connection that is already there before us.
Taking photos or videos of ourselves can be very revealing as we get to feel a marker of where we are at that time, with this it makes sense why people would avoid having their pictures taken as it can be confronting. But from a stance of being willing to understand what is before us then we can open up to being aware of how we got to that captured moment on the screen. Taking videos and being willing to watch them over again over the last almost a year has been a huge learning curve for myself and what is being reflected into the world and how that changes based on how I am living before I step in front of the camera. Technology is never the cause or to be the scapegoat of our disconnection as it is just a tool which can be used as a form of connection equally so.
Adele this is yet another incredible article in which you so candidly share yourself. In each of your articles you literally lay yourself bare, which then demonstrates so beautifully to others that this is actually a true way of being. The current norm of hiding, secrecy and comparison is so far from our natural way of being and keeps us incarcerated lifetime after lifetime.
Adele it’s so great that you have emphasized that it is our connection with ourselves first that is the foundation for our connection with others. It was only a year ago or so that I really got to feel this for myself. Up until that point I had thought that my connection with others was deep but then it was as if a whole other layer of feelings were uncovered. These feelings about life had always been there but just slightly out of view. It was these feelings that were my deepest and most hidden and because I did not allow myself to connect with these deeper feelings up until that point, then I was not in truth able to connect with others on a deep level. We can only go as deep with others as we go with ourselves.
Adele this is yet another incredible article in which you so candidly share yourself. In each of your articles you literally lay yourself bare, which then demonstrates so beautifully to others that this is actually a true way of being. The current norm of hiding, secrecy and comparison is so far from our natural way of being and keeps us incarcerated lifetime after lifetime.
What this blog highlights for me is how so many of us have a more intimate relationship with our phones and the people we connect with through them, than we do with those friends and family who are in our immediate vicinity. But what this really exposes is that the relationships we form through social media are not true relationships at all, if we are not bringing our all to all. That is, if we are not bringing our all to all and only to a select few, then it is not our All that we bring at all!
I agree Liane. For years I convinced myself that I was bringing my all to everybody when the truth is I was bringing very little to anybody. The only way that I was able to change this was by first of all realising and admitting that I was not being transparent with myself and from there to then start being more transparent with both myself and others. And slowly over time I have allowed myself to become more intimate and honest with me, which in turn has enabled me to become more intimate and honest with others.
This is a great thing to be aware of Adele – when engaging with the world through social media, are we connecting with others from a point of connection or disconnection? Because if we are connecting from disconnection then surely it stands that no true connection can take place. Social media is there to show us that it is our natural state to be in connection with all others, but if we are not responsible for the quality of energy we are in (love or not-love) then it is abuse that we let run rampant until such a time that we can ensure that our every expression is one of love and thus Soul impulsed, so we can once more stand as One.
I have used a smart phone for some years now and social media for even longer, but never have I taken selfies!
I have always taken photos: I literally have thousands of my dog and the walks we shared and enjoyed reading people’s comments having posted them, but over my huge catalogue there are very few and even less of me with my best friend . I have posted old photos of me and left the photos of me for someone else to post… Somehow it all seemed too self-important!
On reading your words Adele it feels that in some areas of my life I am still consciously hiding away and not sharing my light. My earlier shyness is still protecting me …
Thank you , you have highlighted an area of my life about which I still feel very uncomfortable; and which I will now apply some focus.
Where’s my camera?!
Sometimes when I leave the house and forget my phone, I feel quite anxious. What if someone wants to contact me and they cant? I am very attached to it, but lived very well without it for the first 30 years of my life. I have made a decision to not look at my phone after 7pm. I know I can use it to check out and sometimes spend way too long on it.
Love following the story as it mirrors what so often happens in society… we introduce a new bit of tech into the world with absolutely no moral thought and it gets abused. It seems to be a natural tendency with humanity… and then given a few years we start to realise that the technology can enable us to develop ourselves and everything around, rather than as the latest thing to distract ourselves with, or blow ourselves up with!
We can make technology the bad guy. We have a tendency to blame things outside of ourselves for why our world is so messed up. Is it possible that this is just an excuse not to look at ourselves and take responsibility for making some changes within? I know this is something I used to do. Real changes started to happen when I started working on my own issues.
Thank you for sharing Adele. I think it’s really important what you’ve shared about phones and the Internet being both an opportunity to disconnect but also an opportunity to connect – it’s all about the way in which we use it. I can relate to what you talked about in regards to becoming hooked on various smartphone apps and addicted to social media, and when we pick up on this it’s important to look at why we’re seeking the distraction away from face-to-face connection and how we can get the balance right between on and offline.
The relationship we have with ourselves it the one that is most neglected. Its funny how we think we can connect with others when our primary relationship is not given priority. I used to think putting myself first was selfish, but have discovered that the reverse is true. Since developing the relationship with me, all my other relationships have blossomed and improved greatly. A win-win all round.
This is very interesting Adele. We can dismiss technology and react to it as being something that is bad and takes us away from truly communicating, but if used when we are already connected to ourselves, it can be great. Thank you for sharing how your smartphone helped you reconnect with yourself.
I love what you learned about technology Adele. That it is not about not having smartphones that will reconnect us as a humanity but that it is about ourselves, how connected we are to ourselves and from there to all others. Technology can go where ever it wants it is about us and how we live that will make the difference.
Now this is ‘truly smart’ Adele! 😉
Great blog about something so real and tangible for everyone, as this world of technology continues to develop what you share is so important to bring us back to the connection that is utmost and the most precious to us – that of us within ourselves. As you say so clearly, from our connection, deeply, to who we are the technology and cleverness of technology becomes a mere transport for our natural and absolute intelligence that is already there in the depths of who we are.
“Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it” So true Adele when we connect to ourselves first technology takes on a new lease of life and is no longer just a functional tool. It offers a reflection for us to be inspired or to learn from. Recently when I had problems accessing my computer at password level I could feel the reflection for me was that I had lost the connection to me and that I was no longer able to access all the wonders of the world that a computer can offer because I had lost connection to me first and all the wonders that my innermost could offer me.
We could never lose the wonder which is us, but we could choose to not express it.
Thank you Adele for this very real honest and provoking blog as to the lack of true connection in the world with ourselves first and foremost as the real cause of the separation, isolation and loneliness suffered. A true marker of the change needed and awareness of the state we are all in reflected by the massive rates of mental illness , diseases and suicides now so prevalent from our young children onwards to old age and dying . Smart phones and social media actually add to this immensely and are so much a part of our lives and ever increasing technology. A true connection must be our foundation for everyone first and an education system and parenting based on this is much needed. As is an appreciation of our elderly .
When my smart phone broke I realised how much I used it like you describe to fill time. After the initial disturbance I started to enjoy being on the bus rather than doing something on the bus, when I got my phone back I turned off all notifications on my device and computer and don’t tend to use it on the bus or other travel times, rather using that as a time to connect with my breath and body and anyone who may be not looking down at their phone!!!
The world of selfies is a minefield for those that engage in it. I feel there is great sadness for those girls who pose seductively and have no sense of their worth. It is like with the world of social media we can see the emptiness that most of us are living with. Where the focus is on the self there can never be connection to the universal love that is there to be tapped into around us all.
When there is connection in our hearts, it is connection that will be delivered. In any area where there is disconnection and emptiness, we can simply go there and live what is truth and connection.
With the smart phones we have been given a powerful tool to communicate globally what we live locally and raise awareness about what is truly going on in the world. But the quality we use those tools in depends on the quality we live on a day to day basis. The harming and destructive way smart phones are used for today is just a reflection of how we have chosen to live. It is not the technology that brings it out, but the choice to live in that way. Anything we have available we can either use to heal or to harm.
“Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.” Thank you, Adele. This puts technology in its rightful place, as a tool to be used to enjoy the connections we already have, with ourself and others. Your selfie project is a great example of how powerful it is when we make love and connection a focal point in our life.
Smartphones as a tool to the process of self-discovery not guided by images. This sounds intriguing and an interesting avenue to explore.
Smartphones are great in what they bring to daily life. Yet, they also reinforce a life of separation between people. I was shocked by a real story I was once told of a family with three adolescents that have to be sent a whatsapp to come to the table for lunch because they are in their rooms lost with their smartphones and do not answer the door when someone knocks on it.
Eduardo that is a common scenario in the part of the world that I live in. And it could be the other way around as well, adults having to receive whatsapps because they are too consumed by work or simply wish to avoid face to face communication.
I have to admit I cannot live without my smart phone! I too resisted getting one for many years before it made total sense to do so and I could not resist any more. If I let it take over my life before I have connected to myself life feels awful, but if I use it in a way that supports me and helps me to express then that is a totally different story. We just need to get it the right way round…
What I learned is that connection without transparency is no true connection as we intent to connect out of a protection and with this reduce the level of awareness we bring to it and therefore the understanding of the other, ourselves and the bigger picture in which we can expand together. We then end up dealing with behaviors missing out on our true universality.
The smartphone’s window to the world of sharing about oneself bring new ways to do old things that does not really bring people together. When we say that they are great (which we can all agree they are), we have to be very honest with what are we really using this technology for.
With the aid of smart phones people are more publicly exposed. What we share through them cannot but be related to what we share of us in ‘real’ life. Thus, the question to be asked is what do we share of ourselves?
Great question asked as what is feed here can either support and heal others or offer them more of the doubt that is already existing on the feeds we are exposed to.
Smart phones have changed the way we live – no longer are we tied to a desk for our computing needs – we can use our phones as cameras, computers and to communicate with others. We can also use them to shut out the world. Adele shows us how we can use technology to be ourselves in the world and to reconnect with our innermost self as well.
When talking selfies, people are very careful to keep and post only those pictures that feed an image someone wants to be known by. The others, which show something different, undesirable, are usually rapidly deleted. We do not accept that image as being us. We want to reduce us to an ‘official image’ and eventual variations of it. But that is not true.
Absolutely agree Eduardo! When taking selfies there is a certain posture people adopt, and they are going for a certain image of themselves which will be desirable in some way! As you say the other ones are usually deleted because they don’t hold an ‘image’ of how we are but perhaps the truth in that moment? Often I have found the best photographs I have ever taken have been when I wasn’t even trying and my finger “slipped”
Pictures call to be received, and the glory that is presented when they are done in spontaneity is because they do not formulate until the moment when all comes together, and after that moment, something else is already formulating. When we hold onto any images, this act is already not true.
Hi Adele, I loved your sharing of your rediscovery of your relationship and connection with yourself, and from there, everyone else – and how technology is just an extension or a reflection of the state of our relationships and how we communicate with one another. Do we use technology to truly connect, or to distract ourselves?
Your willingness to truly see yourself, and all the things that you didn’t want to see, and how you wanted to portray yourself, is inspiring. How often do we avoid truly seeing ourselves in the mirror, and how often do we ‘smile for the camera’ instead of allowing ourselves to be as we naturally are, and appreciating all of our choices that lead to that reflection of what comes through the camera?
Adele, thank you. What you show is that the issue (smart phones) was not an issue at all! Beliefs and expectations, if we let them, can trap us and be a source of self imposed misery. What you show is that at anytime we can change the pictures we have in our heads and be free to truly connect with the world.
When we move with ourselves through life, what may be previously seen as issues are actually opportunities to take more responsibility.
To see issues as opportunities to take more responsibility changes everything!
So well said.
Yes, knowing there are no issues, we can observe what we are feeling, which in the past was perceived as an issue and move through a behaviour or pattern by understanding where and /or why it is there, which then allows us to let it go – as you say, an opportunity to take more responsibility.
“By this time, I had had enough of the devastation of looking outside of myself for connection. From a place of deep fragility, I made the choice to connect back to myself.” Love this Adele. Connecting with ourselves first feels vital, otherwise how can we truly connect with others?
“This felt very raw as it reflected the lack of connection that had always been in my home, which was now being magnified with the use of the smartphone.” it is so interesting to observe people who are eating, sitting or walking together, but rather than communicate with the person beside them they are texting or chatting on their mobile phone. So no true communication or connection.
Great point Adele, that though we might tend to blame the mobile phone for our lack of connection it is just refecting back to us “the lack of connection that had always been in my home, which was now being magnified with the use of the smartphone”.
Adele, I love how you experimented with selfies as a way to explore yourself and how you could bring more of you to the world. it’s beautiful to read how you made these shifts in relation to your attitude to technology and how you came to realize that “Technology alone cannot inspire; what is inspiring is us being in connection with ourselves when we use it.”
This is very inspiring Adele. I have not always seen technology as being a tool for connection, that is a way of supporting true connection with others. Just like you have I have tended to see it as something that disconnects and actually complicates our social interactions. As I am learning however, technology provides a great medium for expression when connected with our Soul and not using it to hide
It is a great medium if used truly and not to hide. Many I see who are hiding unsocially in their phones, find relating and connecting difficult. However many who are very connected use this tool to record, spread and share their connection. And when they are face to face with you their is also a connection and ease of being.
Connection can never be faked as true connection is present only when it is lived as it is just a natural expression of who we are.
I just love this blog Adele. All true! I especially love the part where you write about ‘Selfies’ being not for the self but for all – ‘Universelfies’ we could possibly call them! I have written an article on UML on the very topic of this gorgeous blog that might interest http://www.unimedliving.com/relationships/ht-topics/trending-now/crying-out-for-connection-technology-and-us.html
I love your clear definition of connection Adele, it is connection with our Soul, and from there we are naturally connected with others. There are no feelings of neediness in the Soul!
Yes beautiful.
Technology is only a tool, and like all tools, you can do with it what you will.
Absolutely Adam. It’s what we bring to the tool that determines the connection.
Very true Adam. These words sum that up beautifully and truthfully: ‘When a smartphone is used in connection with oneself, it becomes a tool to capture the connection first felt within – something that naturally expresses the relationship we have with our Soul.’ I love this.
That is so true and keeps things very simple which Truth always does!
“connection had to be first built within myself” – this says it all for me Adele, because it means it has nothing to do with smartphones, computers, writing, reading, cooking, working, shopping etc …it starts with connection to self.
Yes this is certainly one the most valuable things I have learned: connection with myself. Self-discovery that then guides me to connect with others.