I did 8 years at university, including 2 years living on campus, and can clearly recall the stress and pressure that went with university life. It was and still is very common for students to stay up very late to finish work or cram for exams – it is almost expected.
One time at uni I worked in the office all night – after I had been working all day – to finish a report due the next day. I worked until 2am then went to sleep on the office floor, to be woken by the cleaner at 4am. It was something I laughed about with friends, and it was even seen as tough and committed.
Looking back at this period of my life I realised that:
- The average University life has a negative impact on one’s body;
- The majority of students finish their degree stressed, exhausted and needing a break, a long holiday away, and often dreading thought of working full time;
- There’s no true vitality, strength, aliveness, alertness and an eagerness to join the workforce at the completion of a degree because of the drag it has been to get through uni – let alone the last few years of high school where students are also exhausted.
Personally it was a very rude shock to feel how much harder it was working after the life at university. You have to arrive on time, do a full day and not leave until the end of the day… and you have to do this 5 days a week. This is so unlike university where many people sleep in if they feel like it or leave when they are bored or tired, never having a schedule that is five full days. These days you can even watch your lecture online whilst you stay in bed… or not watch it at all but log on as if you have. This is so far removed from how work life is.
A CALL FOR CHANGE TO SUPPORT STUDENTS AND UNI LIFE
How can we support uni students to live in a way that leaves them energised, vital, fit, strong, healthy and ready for work? How can universities support students to already have nurturing and supportive rhythms in place rather than the self-destructive pattern of late nights, lots of coffee and high caffeine over-sugared ‘energy’ drinks… and at weekends parties with plenty of alcohol and drugs to look forward to, all to try and relax to escape the mundane week?
When I was lecturing at university a student sent me an email after having trouble submitting an assignment online: “I don’t trust technology so just to be safe I’m emailing you my assignment because my computer might give up after the all-nighter to finish this”. This was sent at about 2am. I had a flashback to myself on the office floor.
My response was something along the lines of: “Thank you for being conscientious about this and forwarding me another copy. I’m also aware that technology and computers aren’t the only things that don’t function well or that can give up after an all-nighter. Working throughout the night like this has a great impact on the body. I don’t encourage any student to ever work like this, with such pressure, as it has long-term consequences on your health, and for me your health is more important than one assignment. I would have preferred that you asked for an extension and did it in a way where you can take care of and look after yourself first, then maybe discuss with someone how you can improve your time management to not find yourself in such a situation again.”
Maybe if more lecturers can begin to speak like this, things will start to change.
But unfortunately at present, many of the university lecturers are the students of 10, 20 or 30 years ago who were living the same destructive lifestyles then and are still living them now, relying on plenty of caffeine and sugar to get their now exhausted, stressed or run-down bodies through their day. It’s still common for work to be run right up until the deadline, requiring teams of people to pull many ‘late nighters’ or even ‘all nighters’ to get a report or project completed.
OFFERING ANOTHER WAY
Working on a large group project with many academics early in my career I was challenged for not staying up late to complete something due in only a few days. The other academics were working until 11pm and midnight because we were all doing this work outside of our normal full-time jobs.
I shared with the team that I prefer to stop work by 7 or 8pm, to have time to let go of the day and prepare for a deeply restful and nurturing sleep by 9pm. I then wake up extra early to work on the project in the morning before my normal work day, as I’m more alert at this time of day than at 10pm at night.
Post this conversation I observed small changes in my colleagues, such as no activity on the documents or emails past 9 or 10pm. Though I say ‘small changes’, this level of self-care is monumental in supporting health and vitality long term, which then supports clarity and purpose.
If I had not spoken up about my caring rhythm my colleagues would have not experienced another way.
Towards the end of the project when one academic said they were going to have to pull an all-nighter to get their section done, another academic responded to the effect that the university was not paying for our health and that we should take care of ourselves first. I smiled joyfully when I heard this.
I have been inspired by Universal Medicine to live in such a self-caring way with my body, and to feel the impact of this. So bit-by-bit, maybe university life / work life and the stress, pressure and exhaustion that currently go hand in hand with this, may also change. This can start with just one person, who by choosing differently may inspire many.
By Dr Danielle Pirera BBiomedSci, BExSci (Hons), PhD (ExPhys)
Further Reading:
Developing self-care as part of health and well-being at work
Self-Care, Self-Love and Nurturing in University
What a difference it is to take any task and eliminate the stress as everyone can do this and we all benefit, and learn so much as you have shared Danielle.
This is a breath of fresh air. If we do not speak up then we will push ourselves into an illness because it will be way beyond what our body can handle.
I have just finished a trade course for work that happens every 5 to 10 years. Things change and need to be updated. The three-day course provides all of the new information and a refresher of old material to prepare you for a timed 90-minute open book exam. It is also a money-spinner for the governing bodies with training and the need to buy new manuals. The minimum set is nine paperback books is just under £400, and a three-day course is £500. The main book, the one tested, is the bible of our trade. There were seven of us that did the course and three that have to reset the exam, including me. The exam is now a laptop multiple guess exam that randomly selects 60 questions out of 1000, for a 90 minutes test. That is 90 seconds a question to read the question and look it up. And then there is the hand full of questions that require a scientific calculator. The whole exercise is to find things in the book. I have over the years taken the test four times now and was usually one of the earliest ones to complete the exam. The new exam is about making money by taking lateral thinking to a new level. I felt the level of complication that has become part of the process and refused to become a part of it. I will in my time, refresh myself at my own pace, not theirs and retest. Is not life an open book exam?
Every aspect of how we live impacts on our day so if we accumulate disregard we have a mountain of disregard to get over, but when we introduce a Loving rhythm as you have shared Danielle we undermine all our past indiscretions and feel on-top of the world without having to clime to any lofty heights.
I have learnt more in the last 7 years of my life though letting go of unhealthy thought patterns and working on self love and being truly purposeful then I did in 20 years of full time education.
Great job LE, we can be unaware of what binds us in those poisonous thoughts till we allow space to see and choose to move another way.
Students are burnt out before they even start work, surely taking care of ourselves from day one is paramount with illness and disease escalating as it is, ”There’s no true vitality, strength, aliveness, alertness and an eagerness to join the workforce at the completion of a degree because of the drag it has been to get through uni – let alone the last few years of high school where students are also exhausted.’
Yes, that makes great sense, and I guess we can bring it back even further to the education system and how we educate children from their early years.
Yes, I have heard this from students who have just finished Uni; and we wonder why we lack true health and well-being, ‘The majority of students finish their degree stressed, exhausted and needing a break, a long holiday away, and often dreading thought of working full time’.
A lecturer that cares more about you than the work being submitted – now this is rare. I remember during uni all that mattered was work first, and everything else second, including your own health and well-being – how does this set us up for a successful and amazing life?
From what I see it is very hard for a lecturer to care more about the students than the work if they don’t have that in their own body and lives first. Those that have a more balanced relationship and awareness get amazing work done but never at the expense of health and always with a focus on responsibility and accountability. The group work as a team and do their part without loading another to work late or do their work for them.
Finding a true way of working that does not put stress on the body is something to be shared with others.
Great article, however the tone of your email to the student was actually quite belittling. Rather than sympathizing, you instead came from a position of authority and told the student, in not so many words, that “you know best.”Time management is very different from academic expectations, and just like yourself lying on the floor at 2am, that student did what they felt was correct. The expectations from students are increasing exponentially, but the minutes in the day are not. Although you meant well, that student deserves a follow up apology for the assumptions you made. What if a parent was ill, had died, etc – would you still have told them to manage their time better? You, as a lecturer, should take responsibility for the fact that they thought they needed to work until 2am rather than asking you for an extension.
Even if you meant well, the flash back is indicative that you were not talking to the student in that email but rather yourself. Perhaps writing that email was some type of closure for you. Either way, having been through that experience yourself, pointing the finger could have been replaced with sympathy. That student was asking for your help, not your judgement.
The systems do not take the person/student into consideration at all, their work load, expectations from the university, the parents and from the students themselves is enormous so it is no surprise that by the end of the training students are a complete write off. What also doesn’t help is the lack of nurturing of the body, eating not great food and partying hard so ‘burning the candle at both ends’ is a huge factor. Is it really working?
University can definitely set us up for life in a detrimental way if we don’t approach it in a way that cares for ourselves. I remember when I finished uni I just crashed for around 4 weeks I was so tired, it was like an endurance test to the end. Imagine if at the start the university taught the basics of self care and how to properly manage all the pressures on you – perhaps more people would leave uni round, complete, whole, caring people – instead of coming out reshaped and exhausted.
Perhaps university can be used as a good excuse for avoiding being a part of the working world, and perhaps this is so because of what is on offer in the working world most of the time.
Great reflection Danielle, even if one person gets the reflection you are offering and starts to see care, this, they then reflect out to others and so on and so on the reflection and response continues.
Yes, by reflecting a different way of living, this may impulse another to live a similar way.
Yes and actually we all know and feel it when our body tells us it wants to rest and go to bed, but we override it with stimulants such as coffee and sugar. We are not connected enough to our body and live during the day in drive and push to be surprised that we end up with so many people with sleeping problems.
I have recently witnessed from closely what the final exam year at high school and finishing a university study does to young people’s bodies. The extend of their exhaustion was big and both of them put passing above their own health and well-being. We do something basically wrong that we don’t teach this to our children: your body comes always first.
University is needed to gain certain skills but it is not an institution that prepares us for life.
Staying up late to get work done is deceptive as we are not truly productive at that time; but we love the heroics and being able to boast about our exploits afterwards. Early mornings are somehow not newsworthy but boy, o boy, you can get a lot done at that time of day.
Interestingly I have seen people come from Uni and work in our business and want to go back – reminiscing about the ‘amazing days’ at uni simply because the responsibility and commitment is less. So there is such worth and value in supporting people from uni to work – and helping them to see that they can live responsibly at any point
Enter the power of reflection backed by our expression of the truth we know and feel. When our systems and ‘common’ practices fall short in supporting us to live and work in a way that honour our health and well-being, the way we live and speak up offers a great opportunity for other to feel that there is another way, that without imposition invites them to try for themselves. The power of reflection is the way we can offer true change, from the ‘grass roots’, through all our relationships
The all nighter pattern is one I know well. I can now see that whatever I produced in my all night study sessions was a product of drive and individuality that essentially got me nowhere and took a huge toll on my body. I catch myself using this drive energy often, even in the middle of the day and it’s just as damaging. When I am aware of the flow of life and work with purpose, not drive the quality of what I produce is completely different … the process is enjoyable and there are no pictures or outcomes about how what I’ve done needs to be or look.
Yes there is no one to blame about the way university is at the moment as we are all adding our piece to the situation, yet this also gives us a way forward to make change as when we are in the system and when we change it can be felt and seen.
I just completed a Cert IV in a way I put my body and connection first before my results and outcomes. The work was simpler, it flowed, I had amazing support, I stayed focus and no time was wasted trying to memorize the work – my body holds more awareness and therefore more intelligence than the recall of knowledge I put into my mind.
A few years ago the UK government stated that it wanted 50% of young people to go to uni without looking at the purpose of this education and whether it was equipping young people for their future working lives. It feels like uni is a self created bubble that breeds many harmful habits and it is no wonder that so many struggle to find work and adjust to it after they graduate. Truly we need to look at what we are imposing on generations here and call for a radical re-evaluation.
Universities need more reflections like you Danielle showing that it is possible to function within a broken system and still take care of yourself.
In some ways it is surprising that University is so stressful. Actual teaching is only six months of the year in two three-months chunks and people can afford to wait until the last moment to finish reports and assignments. Yet it is clearly very stressful for many.
Me too, ‘I have been inspired by Universal Medicine to live in such a self-caring way with my body, and to feel the impact of this’, it feels very gorgeous to be so loving with ourselves.
Many young people end up after 3 years at university with a degree in self-abuse. They cram their heads with sufficient knowledge to be able to recall it to pass an exam but ignore the lessons being offered by their body as to the effect this is having. As a student of Universal Medicine you are offered a 1st class degree in living in a way that is harmonious for you and everyone else.
I have found university life quite bearable as an external student. The key point for me was to start working on things when they became available. Only once or twice did time then become tight but not overtly so.
It is also what we carry in our bodies of how we learnt, struggled with or not and how we felt about our experiences in school in our younger years that if left unchecked or not addressed is what we then bring with us into further studies as adults.
This article really raises some pretty big and fundamental questions about what is the actual purpose of a university education? And if this was to be truly examined, then would the whole culture of university life need to be addressed?
Danielle, it seems to be accepted that at university students put completing assignments above their health and well being. I am at present completing a college course, with a lot of coursework to finish before the deadline, and I have been appreciating how I have been staying in my natural rhythm of going to bed early and waking up early and that staying up late feels so awful nowadays that it is not an option for me. I have also noticed that I am not allowing myself to get stressed or overwhelmed and that I feel that I would rather finish the course feeling well and not having handed everything in, rather than being exhausted and having completed everything.
Taking care to listen when my body is tired has been key to restoring consistent vitality and well-being. No amount of financial recompense or recognition is a substitute or pay-off for our health.
That is true and this simple recipe can get us through most of life’s situations, including university study.
” This can start with just one person, who by choosing differently may inspire many.” It may be called a different way by those who live , by late nights , caffeinated drinks, alcohol, drugs etc . But truly being loving and caring of one self and therefore to others , is not a different way but a true way of living that serves all.
I too burnt the midnight and beyond oil while at University and it was a common occurrence for us to stay awake all night either out partying or studying. In this there was absolutely no respect or appreciation for the natural rhythms of my body – and my mind still boggles that I never thought or considered that living with such irresponsibility was not affecting my health, well-being and overall quality of life nor how my choices affected others.
Really if we don’t get our foundations right like self care, self love, then what ever we try to learn will not be as effective.
knowing how to truly support oneself is paramount for any real learning to take place.
Thank you Danielle for sharing with us your wisdom of how our tertiary education system could embrace another way for students to be supported to learn to care for their well-being in conjunction with their learning of skills as they prepare to enter the work force. It would be so valuable if there was a unit within in every university degree that covers topics such as self-care, well-being and time management so graduates can begin to work full-time with a holistic approach.
“The average University life has a negative impact on one’s body;” It is true and talking to many uni students that I meet at my work place alcohol is the ‘go to’ to get through Uni. I was talking to a student yesterday and alcohol is the fuel he survives on, he was going to a party that night and this would be something he regularly did regardless if he had to get up early the next morning for work. This alone puts a stress on the body but it is not seen as stress as it is a moment to check out and be reckless and enjoy themselves hoping to alleviate the pressures and expectation we put on ourselves. He asked me if I went to parties and drank a lot when I was young and I said no not really I would get bored at parties after an hour and I never really enjoyed drinking that much. and his reply was that might happen to me one day but while I am young my body i.e. still able to recover. I feel this is how many young people view their body, but like so many things in life it catches up with us in the end. We are setting ourselves up from young to live a life of exhaustion and illness as confirmed by the many health statistics that are in the papers every day.
It seems to me that many of us put off making changes in the way we are living because we tend to focus on the big picture and instead of being inspired by it, it overwhelms us as we feel that it is way too hard. However, taking baby steps and one simple step towards change at a time we can make the transition feel a lot more enjoyable and before we know it the big picture is completed and we are enlivened not exhausted.
This article is simply full of common sense… practical helpful and logical… strange that it is not picked up and acted on
An awesome blog Danielle, conveying a powerful, wise and truthful message to all people studying at our cold, lost and competitive tertiary institutions. There certainly is another way for Educational Institutions to operate and for students to learn.
From what I have observed in recent times the situations in college ( third level ), re all nighters , buckets of coffee , dead lines re assignments etc are now at high school ( second level education ) kids of 16 , 17 and 18 are now put under all these pressures , so they are exhausted before they even get to college .
I am observing the university system while my partner is still studying for her degree and it is absolutely shocking to say the least about how the students (and not to mention the patients she works with – as she is studying in the medical profession) are treated. Most shockingly is the fact that NOTHING of the study life is going to leave a student feeling confident, alert, aware and also inspired to go out into working life and bring their all to it. We at best go out into life after study feeling like we just need to get through. Rarely are we inspired to truly maximise our potential offers to society and the whole of humanity with our skills.
One day it will be very clear how cold and heartless our so called ‘higher’ education is.
It’s interesting to consider the impact school and university has on us, if you consider that one choice, or one moment in your life can affect you for many years, how long could exhausting and stressing yourself out at uni effect you for? I wonder if these choices have more long term effects than we realise.
If something doesn’t work and is unhealthy, we have the power at our hands to change it through our daily choices. The things don’t have to be as always were. Yes, our self care choices matter and have a direct impact in everyone around us, whether we see it or not. This offers more sense to the way we live by sharing what works for us.
It is sad the way that as a society we have placed the achievement of education in total disregard to our bodies with no focus on the appreciation and cherishing of our beingness, as it is only through this that we understand that the power of true education comes first from a body emanating harmony and truth within.
The early morning hours are great for getting work done I would have in the past tried to do at night – everything flows so much better and I am fresh after a great night’s sleep. Having done this for a few years now, I can say that I was kidding myself thinking that I was effective pulling late- and all-nighters; I just didn’t want to admit it.
I absolutely agree, early mornings are much more productive and set the day up in a much better quality than cramming it all in the night before, which massively impairs the quality of our sleep, and hence how we feel the next day.
A great sharing Danielle showing how when we live with self care and self love and share our living with others the effects on other people’s lives can be amazing,
“It was and still is very common for students to stay up very late to finish work or cram for exams – it is almost expected.” This is the feeling I get at University, you are not only supposed to do the work, you are supposed to do more than what is actually asked for to get the highest grades. It would be gorgeous if teachers would sent in emails like you did and be really caring of the students they teach, yet this would first have to start within themselves for if they are sending emails and posting documents on the online platform at 11.30 pm it is not really possible to say to others to stop earlier, more so it is not something they would think about. So it is important for everyone in the University to start to self-care.
University is an intense environment to be in, not promoting self-care whatsoever, which is very clear in the examples you provide. And it is almost like people want to live this life when they are at Uni as it is so demanding, and the pressure is great, so it is also a great way to indulge in work to not feel it all. It is our responsibility to take care for ourselves and prepare for a life after uni in which we know how to manage our time and care for ourselves deeply, to not get caught up in the same pattern.
Universities are popping up like dairies in almost every city of every country. Higher education is seen to be the way but it is clearly not when the state of health in our world is not all that great at all. What if the real degree should be in self care than in getting a masters or a phd?
I agree, Uni is seen as that which we need to go to, to get anything out of life. While it is so much more important and rewarding to learn to care for ourselves, a learned profession we truly enjoy can be an added bonus.
I was talking to someone the other day about school itself and how the children and teachers look at the end of just one term. I remember when I was at school the end of year everyone was looking a bit jaded and were looking forward to the break. It seems this can happen in a term if not sooner now. I look at how we chase curriculum and making sure of this and that but it all seems to neglect the people around it. I mean school runs that fast that many just fall through or burn out younger and younger. Surely the game is up and we can start to see that if we are learning something at the expense of the greater part of us then our learning is going to set us up to fail in the end. I’m using these words not relative to school work but life, how are we preparing children and beyond for life. We can keep teaching people things but if we don’t know how to truly take deep care of ourselves then we will end up with a population that becomes more ill. If we look to the stats we are growing more and more ill in many more ways then say 20 years ago. It has to mean we need to stop, we can’t keep running ahead to try and fix something that at it’s very core is rotten. Change the whole thing and if you remember how things were we were always at our best when there was a genuine care for everyone and everything around us. We don’t need perfection but we need to dedicate to truly caring and from what I see if we don’t then things just become more and more the other way.
Something I have been experiencing lately in the comments is that I am too vague, as in when sharing about lifestyle choices they are not personal, this has been to avoid being seen as ‘weird’ or ‘different’ or boasting, but being vague and saying going to bed at 9pm is good doesn’t share the vitality I do experience by doing so. Reading this blog again has helped me see that sharing my experiences of self-care can be inspirational as they come with something that is practical, tangible and not theorised.
Proof that by simply sharing the way one lives an evolved life, without wanting any outcome , can have an amazing ripple effect.
It is so true Danielle, that the dedication and the commitment required to live a full working life is not expressly taught through the culture of university life, which in my experience, was a way for many of us to avoid being responsible adults in the working world.
Yes I would say that uni is exhausting us for life and setting up a pattern that is often repeated in other situations such as work based learning. I have a family member currently trying to complete a portfolio of work by the end of this month alongside working. Speaking to her about this it is clear that there are so many different pieces of work needed and so many forms to complete, many of which appear pointless, and everything has to be cross-referenced leading to much stress and overwhelm and in these circumstances it is very challenging to look after yourself lovingly. Surely an essential part of education is learning to care for ourselves so that we can offer our best in whatever situation we find ourselves in? Awesome to read about your examples of how this can be achieved and reflected to others as this has to be the way forward to address the rising levels of exhaustion and mental and physical ill-health.
It is wonderful to read even on the smallest of change in such an entrenched and destructive paradigm as university life… And a paradigm that it seems almost everyone has brought into
This is a shocking statement to read
‘There’s no true vitality, strength, aliveness, alertness and an eagerness to join the workforce at the completion of a degree because of the drag it has been to get through uni – let alone the last few years of high school where students are also exhausted.’ Our young already come to the workforce exhausted and if were exhausted, then our quality of life is affected, where we then use vices to get through the day, such as coffee, sugar and so forth..which we then glorify, take coffee for example, we say we love coffee but we actually use it to kick start us. It does not replenish our bodies. So then we glorify the coffee to mask what is really going on, were tired and so we drink it as a stimulant. We do this with many things to avoid really looking at our wellbeing and quality of life.
Beautiful Danielle, it takes just one person to speak the truth for others to feel the truth for themselves.
It is refreshing to see another approach to a system that seems to be out of control and not supporting people. For me it’s not being in bed specifically by a certain time or specifically eating or working a certain way it’s more about supporting yourself in what is there or called to be done. At times I do work long, long hours but it’s the how I work, the quality and the purpose. I have found that if the purpose of what I am doing is clear and I keep connecting to this purpose and being impulsed from there, sure at times I may feel my body tired and at that point I will need again to feel the quality that is needed for what is in front of me. As we are saying being present in all you do is the key and not overriding it with any concept or time clock. At times as I said it is needed for us to be a certain way and at that time we need to be brave enough to stand on our own two feet and not give ourselves away to a concept or picture.
I returned to uni this year and have found the schedule of assessments to be intense, with some assessments being due the same week as others. This places so much pressure on a process that is already challenging through being inundated with copious amount of information regularly. It really is no wonder students perform late nighters or even all nighters sometimes simply to keep up with the schedules they have. What I have had to do is to deepen my level of care for myself so I don’t get whacked by it all, and the more I care for myself, the more I stay steady, get things done in a timely manner, and come out of it still feeling vital. Self-care is paramount in a system that is about anything but and is in fact designed to suck the vitality out of us through ridiculous expectations and being constantly measured against other students.
It is a great point Danielle makes about working life after the life at university. It shows us that there is so much more we can choose to commit to than it just being about qualifications.
The levels of exhaustion and stress in our lives today and throughout our schooling and universities is enormous and your sharing this Danielle is much needed and shows there is another way. This way of living and connection love and self care is something the education system misses out on and should be part of it and this would be true education accounting for everything. We are all part of the whole and our livingness cannot be left out as what we currently have is a system that does not work and is getting worse and does not prepare us for a life of fullness, integrity, commitment , vitality and wellbeing so we can support both ourselves and everyone else we come into contact with , our work and in our lives as a whole.
It only needs one person to make a change, and that is what you clearly show us in this blog Danielle. By connecting to the universal wisdom and share that in you work, others will also be invited to re-connect to that same wisdom we are all part of but have abandoned long time ago.
Beautiful and thank you Danielle, this is so much needed. We learn to bring and try to contain knowledge in our minds but do not learn how to take care of ourselves. There is so great need in the world for a different, a more caring way of living.
I work with a number of University students on their yearly practicums and am not surprised with what has been shared in this blog.The levels of exhaustion that they are living without a full time working load makes me question how many are able to develop a work and life balance. This blog is a timely reminder of ways we can cut the cycle and bring self-care back into the equation.
I work with many university students on their practical postings over the course of their qualifications and am alarmed at the rate of fatigue, overwhelm and exhaustion that is presented in the initial stages of their placement. A blog like this is an important read as to the level support that is needed to establish self care so that students are aware that the vitality they live is the quality they work from
I would agree that there are advantages to uni life that I don’t think most students appreciate at the time. However at least at the uni where I work, we have a lot of students who are mature aged and have a lot of commitments other than study. I also find that most students allow the stress of having assignments and due dates to hang over them, which greatly affects their ability to relax and take time to look after themselves.
If the average university life is having a negative impact on our bodies, how work-ready will our graduates be when they enter the workforce? This is a concern for all professions but being involved in health, I know how well cared for you need to be in yourself to be to cope with the intensity of healthcare. Along with this health professionals need to be modelling health, living the change that patients need to see to make changes in their life.
I feel the same goes for school – are students graduating year 12 as students of life or students of a system that reduces us to marked papers of maths, science and english? When I left school I really had no idea how to look after myself and live actively in the world, I didn’t feel I had the confidence to know myself and choose my own wellbeing over the trends of fitting in. There is great opportunity at school for actually supporting kids to live confidently in the world, the perspective of what school is for just needs to shift.
Our health is worth more than a piece of paper.
However as brought up in this blog why do we leave things to the last minute?
Why do we think we work well under stress?
Why do we need the stress?
From experience when we have a purpose behind our study not just merely to get our degree the motivation to study is just there
Where I live there are many schools/colleges/universities offering ‘higher education’ but I really wonder what they are offering – when their purpose is primarily about making money, and the students are seen as ‘customers’ and teachers and staffs keep getting told not to upset them or their parents. How disturbing it must be when someone who really does care walks into their space offering reflection.
Too often the value that we place on people is based on productivity. And even when we do give pause to stop and consider how people should be taken care of , it is still with the same aim to increase productivity. And yes, to a certain extent you can manage people to get more out of them – give them better pay, better working conditions, better health care, more time off, longer holidays etc. However, all of this only every produces short term outcomes. To truly get the most of our people, you have to genuinely put greater value on their being than on what they can produce. By default, you will then naturally get the most out of them in the long term.
Such a great blog Danielle, the lack of self-care in the education system is huge, what you offer is a different reflection and a true way to self-care and work in this system without falling into the usual trap and ending up sick and exhausted like so many do.
Our current education is not geared up to help and encourage us to be more aware, more healthy, more in tune with ourselves and others in fact our current education halts many of natural talents.
University life is not set up for students to support themselves with health and wellbeing being as equal to their graduation as their grades. The investment that goes on for a student in getting by or to just get themselves the best marks as possible, either way, the experience can leave you feeling like a shell of a person. This is not going to serve anyone, yet this is the types of people we are graduating from Universities these days.
Hello Danielle and I would have thought just like school should prepare and support children to be in the world, university should support us to be in the working world. If university is exhausting us and producing people that are possibly better educated by not physically capable of working, ie exhausted then something is wrong with the system. You would think anything that gives you one thing but doesn’t look after the whole thing wouldn’t be worth investing in.
From what I have seen University doesn’t prepare people for the world, you could say the ‘real’ world. People often come from there ‘better’ educated but are so tired, stressed and worn out that they need time off. It would be great for this system to genuinely support people into their careers and not just tell them all they need to know but also give them a living way to deal with everything they will face. I remember and know the best way I learnt was through a living example and from what I have seen a lot of us are the same. Maybe someone should introduce this subject to University, “The Livingness”.
It never ceases to amaze me how powerful we all are to bring great change to anything in life, including an educational system that is empty of self care and love. Just one person supported by a small few can bring a great turn around to an old way of living. So the fact that the university systems are not significantly changing and still stuck in ways of not only not encouraging true self care, but actually encouraging hardness, body separation and disregard in the systems and processes shows that it is the staff and students of the university who don’t truly want change. In fact, as I did, many choose to go to university as a way to check out and escape a life they are not truly feeling joy, vitality, contentment and love, instead if dealing with why these things are being felt.
Danielle, this is spot on what you have presented. There is a perceived notion of it being normal to do all nighters and to neglect yourself and your health and well being – as you have mentioned it is seen in some as a ‘dedication’ to the project or the company when you sacrifice your own well being for that of another. However, as you have so beautifully shared, all it takes is one person to remind or reflect to others that it does not have to be this way. Some people may react to this and may then not like the reflection or the reminder, for perhaps to them it is important to be seen as being dedicated or they may not like the idea of something different, something that is a change. But then there are those who are open and ready, and can see that the old way does not really work, and they are the ones that will be willing to take it on board and try it out for themselves to see if it works or not. I also love how you responded to the student’s email. Awesome!
There is exhaustion everywhere, regardless what age or which phase in life we are. I see children who look exhausted from going to school and all the sports and things they do after school. For me the biggest exhaustion comes from not living life from who you truly are. There is so much pressure we put on ourselves in needing to be something that we are not. If we can just be, there is no need for exhaustion.
I only went to University for one term before leaving and getting a job so don’t have personal experience of that journey. But I did observe many of my friends going through it. And they fell in to two categories; workers and partiers. Both groups came out of university utterly wiped out. And both groups seemed to have to start the work ladder at roughly the same place that I had started 3 years ago – so I never quite understood the point of it! It seems to me as I reflect back on specifically the partying crowd (by far the greater majority!) that it wasn’t just the substance and bodily abuse that was killing them, but also the abject lack of purpose. And for some that took way, way longer to correct and repair than the damage done by the actual partying (some still haven’t). We are designed to work.
What I find ironic is that we go off to study at University things like Medicine, sport psychology, anatomy and physiology but in this study of the body we completely disregard the body we live in.
When you consider it, we are actually having a world wide heath epidemic that is crippling our governments and our Heath Care System and most of it is completely preventable simply by the choices we make towards self love and care. The hardening and pushing through and unnecessary amount of pressure applied by Universities is damaging to our heath and well being, it refreshing to hear someone writing about this, thank you.
There is something else that strikes me and that is, I have probably sat and thought I would never do a particular thing (there are too many to mention but usually it is something someone else does that doesn’t work out well!). Your blog and my experiences around studying are a good example, but what strikes me is that we can easily dismiss someone else’s lesson and experience as not relevant but when all of life is a mirror, not judging becomes something to embrace as a matter of good medicine. By bringing understanding to why people do things, as I am supported to do by so many of these blogs, means I am able to deepen my relationship with myself and my patterns in my own life.
Your blog has been sitting with me Danielle as I realise how easy it is to get swept up in the needs of assignments. I won’t stay up late but I will forgo parts of my time if time pressure is on and I am realising the consequence of this is just as impactful as if I had worked all night and been on food and drink binges. A great lesson.
What an absolutely stunning and accurate blog, Danielle. Thank you. I have recently returned to university and the pressure that is placed on all students to perform and the workload is incredible, and mostly unnecessary. Having come from many years of building self-caring rhythms and caring ways of living, these supported me throughout the madness that was my first term. I could feel how easily it would be to give into the pressure to work late to get assignments done, but I just couldn’t sacrifice myself like that. Not for a mark, not for anything! Interestingly, by the end of my first term I had handed everything in on time, received great marks, and healed a lot of old momentums still held in my life along the way. Even studying exams was an amazing unfolding. After the term completed I sat and took stock of all that I appreciated about it and how I handled it, plus also looked at how I could support myself even more next term. I suspect that after four years of consistently refining how to care more deeply for myself in every step I take throughout this process I will come out the other side ready to work full-time and be part of an industry that I feel will benefit greatly from having me be a part of it. I can already feel the benefits now as I share, as you did, my ongoing self-care with others at university.
“I have been inspired by Universal Medicine to live in such a self-caring way with my body, and to feel the impact of this. ” and in your being inspired and living a true way for you, you have inspired many also to care for themselves. Beautifully amazing.
I love that your colleague valued his health above the deadline, I love that they shared this with others, just as you did to start that particular domino effect. Imagine if you hadn’t expressed what you have found in your body, your colleague might never have done the same and the cycle would have continued unabated.
I have found that I do not work well when I have left my assignment to the last minute. I cannot think straight, write clearly, my body just cannot connect with what is needed therefore the anxiety jumbles every communication my brain is giving me. I decided to set myself up to never experience this again or to simply ask for an extension. I gave myself space and the anxiety went away. No extensions needed so far, I took responsiblity and acted on it. I trust that I have built a strong enough foundation that this will take me through to the end of my course but who knows, perhaps there is more to learn and I will have to evolve as I go…I suspect that will be the case!
Totally inspired by what you have shared Danielle, that through making loving choices for ourselves and understanding the choices of others we can offer a different way, with no judgement about the craziness of University and the way people go about studying etc.
The fact is that it’s not University that is exhausting us for life, it’s us who have exhausted us for life, by the way we choose to engage in any activity and the rhythms we live and choices we make daily.
I agree and find it much more supportive if I get up early and go to bed early. There is some sort of trap in wanting to stay up late to finish something, but it feels so much healthier and more productive to go to bed early and get up early if that is required. This is what fits with the natural rhythm of our body.
A great blog Danielle, I’m sure there are many people young and older who need to re look at what they do concerning their study at University. Sounds exhausting to me to just read about it.
Well shared Danielle. Your reflection has shown that there is another way. Having your presence reflecting non exhausted, nor stressed and with vitality would speak volumes.
I did not enjoy school and although I chose to study until I was eighteen I decided in the end to get a job. On reflection especially after reading Danielle’s blog I very much appreciate this choice I made. At the time I was going to bed around 9pm and even one night going later than this would have affected me and my work the next day. I realise now going to uni would have been way too much for me and it certainly would have taken its toll on my health because I was living a life craving for acceptance and the need to fit in. I too am being deeply inspired by Universal Medicine to live my day caring for myself and in doing so I am feeling a lot more confident in myself that if I felt to I would not hesitate to go to college to further my studies.
Great blog Danielle, it is great to read your observations of what happens on university, and the exhaustion that is accompanying it. I can see this in so many of my classmates and others in the same age group that are doing uni, there is no self care whatsoever, all about this competitive environment, getting high grades and in the process exhausting themselves. Thanks for your advice, it makes me aware of the environment I will be stepping in from next semester onwards.. it is great to know another way.
Since writing this blog I have a deeper level of awareness that the university system is set up the way it is because this is what people want. It’s the perfect way to escape the responsibility of self-care and of life. Living disconnected from our bodies with no true care means that we just become people who automatically respond to life from the outside, often living for self gain and no true love or care. The only level of self care offered is enough to ensure that you can keep on coming back doing the same thing. Having this awareness helps us better understand why it hasn’t changed and will take some time and a willingness to be responsible before it does change.
The great point here is that people may not go to be late but are still exhausted. This is because the way we are at university or with study is not natural, and not our selves. More often than not it’s asked of us to try hard to please the teachers and also to write or present things in a certain way, that may not be natural to us. All of these things exhaust us because we are fighting our natural way of being.
Wow! What a great blog Danielle, my feeling is that if we introduce it into the education system from our first day at school, this is where we start to present that to live a life that is at least self-loving and self-nurturing is the way to go!
This is a great point Greg Barnes, if self-care in education is introduced from the very first day of school and ongoing then it will become very natural and the only way. The only way this will happen is for the teachers to begin to self-care first, because if they are not living it then they can’t teach or share it.
Yes absolutely I agree Danielle, the only way for self-care to be introduced to our education system is when teachers begin to look after themselves first and as a parent of three young children I too have a responsibility to self-care otherwise the words spoken and not living by them are empty ones.
I agree Greg, this needs to be brought into the education system from day one, till eventually it becomes part of our everyday life for all.
Real Education is teaching Love and self responsibility – two things we are greatly lacking in our current education system. Without these two what ever qualification we acquire is worth nothing.
It’s a great point that real education is teaching love and responsibility and this would actually be a very easy and joyful thing to study because we all already know it on our inside. So the education process would just be a matter of unfolding and re-discovering what is already there – to the point where we become our own teachers!
Isn’t life presented to us like this from a very early age? ‘That you just have to get through and survive.’ Every facet from school, college, university and work is based on this premise… even family life. What I love so much about Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon is that we are being shown a different way of living and working that’s supports everyone equally so.
It’s actually rather ridiculous that most of our life is set up where we are just getting through the so called ‘mundane’ things that we don’t like doing. Like work, visiting family, attending a meeting, doing shopping, studying and so on and so on. Universal Medicine are leaders in life to claim that all of life can be enjoyable and full of love and purpose, right down to doing our shopping, cleaning, studying, work etc. Not only to they share this but they live it and share the tools how to really engage in life like this and not just ‘get by’.
Thank you Danielle for giving me some insights into how it is and how it could be for students attending university.
There’s some really inspiring people in education now, sharing and living a new way forward in both university teaching, high school and primary school teaching. More information can be seen here in this awesome organisation called Teachers Are Gold http://www.teachersaregold.com.au
University life is stressful and exhausting for the body, this I have personal experience of as well. And yet, many students actually “enjoy” it. As a human race we have built up a momentum of struggle, hard work and this actually feels familiar and even rewarding. We identify being hard on our bodies as recognition. Working today with students myself, I have found this is still the case, students seem to be proud if they pull all-nighters at school, even though they do complain on how tired their bodies are. There is an arrogance we hold onto to disregard the body thinking it is invincible because recognition is life and death, not the body—how truly intelligent is this thinking and it comes from students studying in what is supposed to be the place to nurture intelligence.
This is so completely true Adele, as a humanity we love struggle, hard work, raciness, hardness and disregard. Because with all of these things we can avoid responsibility and evolution – it’s all perfectly designed.
It stands to reason that we cannot isolate university apart from education systems as a whole, and in fact we do need to consider the whole picture, right from infant school, and ask the question – what seeds are we implanting in to our young minds right from the start that eventually accepts the betrayal of who we are in the university setting?
I remember well staying up for most of the night to finish assignments. When I look back on it now I consider it self-abuse to do such a thing. It is actually a way to self-harm.
I agree Elizabeth it is self abuse to live like this and at the time we wonder why we are not deeply content with life and feeling joy in the simple things in life, not even considering that the disregarding behaviours are totally smashing our confidence and self worth. It would be very empowering to spend a large percentage of each teaching year truly discussing these things and students will leave university properly equipped for life and work.
Danielle, I remember the poor mental health I had in my 3rd year of uni where my sleep and eating and self-care were non-existent and very self-abusive – I was hooked on trying to achieve recognition through academia whatever the personal cost to myself. Mess though I was, your reply to the student who pulled the all nighter, would have floored me.
Yes, I would have most certainly felt stopped in my tracks by the absolute love expressed in your reply – my self-imposed disregard confronted. No doubt I would have wanted to squirm myself out of feeling that level of love and responsibility -using my childhood as an excuse. But actually I could never deny the love in your reply. The choice, so very clear, to live a life founded on love or to continue to self-abuse and pretend that love was reserved for people other than me, my lot was hardship and struggle!
What a brilliant light you bring to academia.
What strikes me here is that all it takes is for one person to speak the truth to change the way someone sees their life. The impact we can have by simply caring is huge.
I remember after graduating with my bachelor’s degree, a relative offering to pay the fees for my master’s degree if I went on to apply for it straight away. I refused simply because I could not face being in school any longer and needed a break. I was not the most diligent student, and managed to squeak by, mainly due to socialising being more important to me than my studies, but I remember the few times I had to stay up late to do reports and knew that I would not be doing my best work. The moment it went past about 9 or 10:00 I could feel the concentration slipping away. I was never actually able to pull an “all-nighter” because I would just get too tired, but I knew lots of people who did.
The very wise words that you shared with your colleagues and your student are so important here, Danielle. Finding a way to care for ourselves in these situations whether it is at school or at work, not only produces better work, but more importantly, takes care of our bodies so that we can continue doing so.
Yes I look forward to the day Gill where self-care at study and work are the norm, and anyone living in a self destructive or unhealthy way stand out as the ab-norm.
Yes Linda it’s been important for me to remember that living in a self caring and self loving way is actually the norm, and actually our natural way, and the disregarding or self abusive way is the ab-norm, hence the need to speak up for those who are thinking it’s the norm and that there is no other way.
It’s a great point you have made Fiona, that as a society there is no value what so ever placed on people’s health and wellbeing and instead the focus is always on output and so called success or gain. If success was purely based on the quality of our health and our vitality and how we lived our lives the whole world would be a totally different story. In fact every system or company would need to re-evaluate it’s processes and way that the business is run.
Very inspiring and important article Danielle. I would have loved this inspiration whilst I was at University however I was one who worked my body into the ground. I even had a baby half way through my degree and somehow kept on going, not wanting to lose the momentum. Yet the momentum is exactly what I needed to lose. My body was way down the line of priority…and I was studying a health science degree!
What you’ve shared is tremendously important Sara. A student of health sciences, running herself into the ground… I studied psychology for a time, and the management of people via human resources, yet similarly, there was not one iota of focus upon care for, or understanding of oneself. What this sets up for our later life, and indeed our societies’ true health and wellbeing is clearly way off where it could be. Foundations of true self-care, self-knowledge and understanding are deeply needed. The incidents of suicide amongst our doctors and dentists later on offers further evidence that something is deeply missing in the way we view our higher education, and the culture of lifestyle around it.
University is sometimes promoted as the place to go for preparation of life. But in my experience, university was a very sheltered existence, where everything was provided for us, and indulgence in social drug taking and alcohol was seen as normal. This is not the real world, what real life is like, and this is not nurturing the naturally responsible people that we all are. Yes, absolutely we need to learn certain skills to keep the foundations of society solid and functioning for the benefit of everyone, but not at the expense of our brilliant young minds that go to university to be expanded, only to find a force of reduction and self-care imposed upon them.
Well said Shami – there is so much that goes on in the culture around university life, and the means of education that does not feel truly ‘preparatory’ for life. Instead we find so many shutting down, imbedding lifestyles of self-abuse and harm (inclusive of our medical students whose career and life focus is to be for the care of others…). Much is amiss, and conversations such as those had here are deeply needed, that we may look to another way.
Brilliantly pointed out Shami. How does university prepare young people (predominantly) for living a life that welcomes responsibility and purposefulness ?
I too found it a very insulated experience. In a gap year before starting my degree I went around the world, did many interesting and varied jobs and discovered how easy I found it to connect with people. But over the next few years of study my mental health deteriorated so focused on getting good grades that I isolated myself. I was too anxious to get a job and it took a while to recover after I left. I’d lost all confidence – especially in writing and sought jobs that had minimal written elements. Yes, I had issues before I went to uni but wow were they exacerbated, even encouraged whilst I was there.
Presenting another way to study, one that honours the person first, is such a golden opportunity in university whose young people are interested in learning and open to discerning new ways of living etc.
I remember taking caffeine pills and pulling what was close to the odd ‘all-nighter’ when at university, added to drinking my fair share of coffee, eating poor food from the cafeteria, drinking quite a lot of alcohol, and basically spiraling down in my self-care Danielle. And there being not one reflection around me to suggest I do otherwise. Everyone it seemed, was caught in the angst of this being ‘part of the deal’ of what we have to do in life. For me, the regurgitation of information called for and no true discussion or discourse on the deeper meaning of life and human interactions (even in psychology study) left me feeling all the more despaired – and the disregarding ways I chose just continued in response. To have met someone such as yourself during this time Danielle, who showed another way and said that people and our wellbeing matter, and matter greatly, would have been amazing. For all the emptiness of so much of our higher education, the fact that you demonstrate and communicate the true value of every one of us, and that there is a way of getting through without abusing oneself, is an absolute godsend.
The ‘standard’ university lifestyle you describe Danielle, reveals a great void in our education, and indeed our societal way of living. Our bodies don’t matter, our true wellbeing doesn’t matter and there is nothing – until people such as yourself come along, deeply inspired by Universal Medicine – to say it can be any different. What such a culture perpetuates and confirms in our societies is truly horrendous. That such self abusive ways go on for those supposedly studying about health and the body is plain crazy when we really look at it – yet the fact that the culture is so strong, can’t be denied.
Yes Universal Medicine has inspired many to see a way of living that is self caring, harmonious and evolutionary, instead of the self abusive way of living that is so easily seen as the norm. What I can feel in this is that the way of living inspired by Universal Medicine is bit by bit inspiring many who are not even involved with them, purely through the many people who have changed their lives as a result of being involved. It’s like a domino effect, bit by bit inspiring everyone to remember that there is a way of living from their inner-most spark that is truly self-caring, loving and harmonious.
What you offer here Danielle is so important for everyone’s wellbeing in the future. Often when I suggest to people that they should go to bed early and get up early and complete work in the morning when they are fresh, they look at you as if you are mad, as they are probably still wired on the caffeine and the sugar. At the moment I am in the situation that I don’t have to do any sort of work in the evening so my preparation for a gorgeous nights sleep is superb and works for me really well for me to wake up fresh for the day a head.
Reading your comment Kevin I can feel how amazingly supportive your routine is. I am finally being honest about how I do work so much clearer in the morning than the evening and evening is for winding down the day. So different to when I considered myself a ‘night owl’ -which actually meant i’d gone past my natural bedtime and was wired.
Well I am just starting an MPhil/PhD and clearly you, Jane, are the benchmark. Let us see…
It is a vicious cycle of caffeine induced cramming during the week and then the alcohol induced release at the weekend. Surely there is a more supportive and healthy way to study.
yes this is typical and a culture that is very ingrained…it’s seen as absolutely normal…
Absolutely Rebecca, what get’s me is that there is nothing at all said at University or by the University that there is nothing wrong with this. There is often some discussion about health and wellbeing, but often about this being doing exercise, going to bed early when you can and eating well, maybe some meditation. Very often there is little if any discussion at considering the ill consequences of being addicted to caffeine and alcohol to get through life. It shows that any thoughts or ideas about self care are still coming from the same place as the choice to live in such an unhealthy way and it’s the conscious being connected to that needs to change.
Danielle, with so many people trying to do so much good at University it’s a strange fact that there is so little care for oneself. As without that care and loving way of living how can we change anything? As you say “If I had not spoken up about my caring rhythm my colleagues would have not experienced another way.” that shows not only the fact of how there is no university at the moment that prepares us for life but also of the importance of sharing what is true for us.
The day we have a university that truly prepares us to live a loving and evolutionary life that is healthy and harmonious in our body is the day that I will go back to University! Or perhaps I will be there teaching in such a university, because such a university will require people who live in their bodies like this to run it. It is possible and it will happen, it just may take some time.
Yes the late nights, the parties and clubs seemed to be very much the norm, as the way to have fun, with lectures and assignments fitted in, but it was really just an existence.
Such a pertinent article Danielle, what you say here about current university life in no way setting you up for work life has definitely been my experience. Until I read your article though i hadn’t let myself really connect to that — instead I gave myself a hard time for how terrified ad uncommitted I was to go out there and start a great career after uni…. The reality is I didn’t have the confidence. I remember during the candle at both ends many times at uni, the stress that was constantly there about how well you have done — or not. Life rested on a precipice of success and failure and the line was very fine. In that environment there was no space to consider what we were doing to our bodies, we bludgeoned ourselves with late nights, or sometimes no sleep at all, ate the wrong foods, and worried constantly within a world that was all about the grades and the intelligence of knowledge and mind.
If and when our education system turns this around in the realisation that no amount of brilliance from the mind is truly brilliant without a healthy, vibrant body to support it, then the world in which we live will change enormously. Much of the ills we had and see in today’s society stem from the quality and values of the education system that is the current norm.
“…No amount of brilliance from the mind is truly brilliant without a healthy, vibrant body to support it,” What you share Katerina is an absolute turn around of how we can view education and learning. Yes we need to develop our education and skills in the world, but to do so with such little consideration of the body is our downfall.
I know the university world inside out. I was part of it for many many years as student and professor. I know how exciting it can be if you truly believe in what you are doing. I know how beautiful it feels to lecture people as a way of servicing them. I know the satisfaction of seeing that people get it and start seeing the world in bigger terms than they used to do. Uni is one of these places that when you make in inside you have the feeling of “I have made it”. This is the world I have left behind some time ago which has plenty of not so pleasant things as well if we care about wellbeing and the fact that it is totally a non issue. Moreover, to see that people are not doing well is expected and even looks good because it shows that is taking life seriously.
Many of the research degree students I speak to have no concept of self-care. Understanding of the totality of who we are is something that needs to be embedded in the education system from kindergarten. Having said that, it is never too late to learn – though a need to go back to the basics might be an affront to some.
Which raises the question: who or what in us exactly is affronted? Answer: the human spirit who loves achievement, recognition, reward and loves running ultra-marathons even though it means lost toenails, injuries and collapse at the finish line. All this abuse of the body is considered ‘normal’ and ‘just part of it’. Maybe it has become so… but is it loving?
This is so true Victoria, looking at the way the education system is run, and how the people are in it it’s easy to see that it is not run for the inner spark we all have that is loving, responsible and evolutionary towards a harmonious way of living. One day there will be educational systems that are run and based 100% on evolution towards a loving and harmonious way of living with each other and in our body, I look forward to this day!
I agree Victoria, self-care is a subject that is currently missing from the curriculum, with the rise in illness and disease I am sure many would benefit greatly from learning simple self-care principles.
Yours is another example Shirley-Ann of how we contort ourselves to fit a system – a machine designed to gobble us up and spit us out often at enormous cost to our wellbeing. Universities are a microcosm of life if we allow ourselves to be caught up in the dominant drive and demands. We have those to ‘drop out’ and those that are swallowed by the momentum. Indeed a great topic!
Your response to the student who had stayed up to complete their work made me smile Danielle. It would either be welcomed like rain on the parched earth or dismissed completely depending on the momentum now engulfing the student. What you offered felt like a invitation to STOP and connect and make a different choice to honour the body. This is no insignificant invitation, even if it was not accepted. Our livingness is felt, whether we appreciate it or not.
I agree Bernadette. The student would have registered this level of care on some level and will always have it as a marker to return to if they so choose…
It’s true Bernadette that it had to be felt and come from my livingness. If I had said this but was not doing the same it would have meant nothing to this student. However the fact that the student knows me, sees my vitality and feels it in my delivery makes the comment more than just words. However more and more I am realising how important it is to actually express because sometimes it’s needed to supports a person to be aware of what they are actually feeling, and not override or ignore it.
Like many aspects of life it would be an interesting experiment to take away all the alcohol and caffeine and sugar from University life and examine where the state of education in this setting really is. It feels for now like a lot of what is taught and learned is propped up by artificial stimulation and creates a stress in the bodies of all concerned. How different might the learning experience be if students got to feel what it is like to learn in an environment that addresses the importance of lifestyle to learning and longevity of health over short term results.
Great point Stephen and just what difference would it make to the graduates leaving university and then what they bring to the workplace and society.
Thank you Danielle what you share here is super supportive and inspiring for anyone study at University. I loved what you wrote to your student about them needing to consider the impact on their health and well-being by pulling an ‘all nighter’ to get their assignment done. It would be great to see this blog published in University’s everywhere as your lived ways are an awesome support of how to self-care whilst studying.
Thank You Anna. It would be great for people in universities everywhere to read this, the only thing is people will only come to it if and when they are ready. Many are willing to continue life the way they are, numb to their health and wellbeing and not truly willing to stop until something really bad happens to their health.
The Uni students I have talked to in the UK tend to leave University with quite a large dept of as much as £30,000….which they have to start to pay back when they reach a certain level of income. To have this dept hanging around their head with no guarantee of a job to repay it, must be very draining and perpetuate the drive and exhaustion that many students have already learnt to live by.
This is true Alison, my younger son left University with a debt slightly above what you mention, and got a job in the hospitality industry working from 7am to midnight, 5 or 6 days a week for a little above the minimum wage.
The first point of call for all universities should be to ensure no one lives in the way Danielle describes here – pulling late or all-nighters, living on caffeine (and worse) and sugar fixes. The cost to human health and well-being is too high. Sadly however, universities have their agendas, and these rely on fostering the kind of competition and drive behind these ill-lifestyles so they can make their way to the top of the list, securing more funds, students and kudos and the like. Universities are big business and the people in them are in a system that does not care for them first and foremost.
What you describe here Victoria feels like an ugly and vicious cycle; one that is programmed now to meet the demand of today’s ‘world’. What an illusion. When the health and wellbeing of people is not the top priority we know we have got it wrong and universities are a big machine to stand up against! We ‘force program’ ourselves to fit into and accept this state of the world. Unless we choose not to. I can feel when I am pulled to do the same on other levels – to leave myself behind and accept the demands of my workplace and other systems that I engage in.
Academia champions the mind over the body and if you step inside a university the results of living like this are clear. The body is little more than an functional vehicle used to carry out mind’s activities, never a first point of reference, and it suffers as a result. Of course this way of living is by no means confined to universities, but it is more sharply focused there.
Very true, Victoria, we celebrate the ‘mind’ and what we think it can do, but we can do nothing without the body, and a well-cared-for body can feed the mind, but we tend to live the other way round, with the mind driving the body.
The crazy part to all of this is that we don’t actually think. So the capacity of the mind at work or a dinner table is not in any way at all a reflection of intelligence but just a great ability to channel thoughts or memory.
I heard a talk by a well-known academic the other day who works with research degree students and their supervisors as well as academics generally. Sadly, she reported most of the people she sees are on anti-depressants – students and staff alike. Given the pressures today’s academics face (workloads are significant, with constant pressure to publish, get funding and teach) and the lifestyle Danielle has captured here so well, is this sad reality any wonder?
It is a sad reality indeed Victoria…and one that we need to be asking more questions about. How have we given more credence to the mind and what it can produce over the magnificence of our bodies and the kind of ‘mind-blowing’ intelligence that is innate? We are certainly not appreciating the fact that our true intelligence is not learned but already within us.
‘How can we support uni students to live in a way that leaves them energised, vital, fit, strong, healthy and ready for work?’ If this question was asked in every university in the world, and then acted upon, it would literally change the foundation upon which so many young people build there lives. Imagine millions of people beginning their careers with a foundation of true care and health instead of exhaustion and overwhelm, the ripple effects would be enormous.
This is a great question to ask, my feeling is that these students need to have a foundation of self care and honouring of themselves established within themselves from a very young age, so that this is the norm.
That is true Lorraine, a basic foundation of self care is not something we grow up with, so it’s something we do not consider as a ‘normal’ part of life. I agree that a foundation of self care needs to be introduced long before university.
It’s unfortunate that not only is self care not considered normal, but it’s even frowned on as something that is a sign of weakness or failure. Because we’ve created a lack of self-care as the norm it can sometimes be seen as difficult or challenging to start to live in a self caring way, when it is actually our natural way. So crazy.
Yeah I agree – I notice this so much in the people around me – self care is so abnormal right now it’s like they need permission from someone to take care of themselves. It’s seen as selfish and indulgent, rather than a basic and cherished necessity of life.
True Nadine, ‘Stress & exhaustion became an accepted “normal” and we first grow up with this need to realise it – that it is absolutely NOT normal and that there is another way.’ Universal Medicine is the trail blazer in this regard showing us all another way to live, work and be that supports everyone.
This is so true that a life of stress is considered the normal, to the point where many of us will purposefully create stress as a way to feel comfortable and familiar, because no stress and steadiness and love can feel abnormal. Crazy.
University is an interesting experience, for me very different from school, where academically I did reasonably well. In my years at Uni I was the only girl, that was OK but the work was hard, it took me four years to do a three year degree because I kept failing exams. I consider myself intelligent but my memory is poor so if I can’t work it out, and I can’t remember, then I fail. That’s is not great for one’s self esteem – that University is based on pass or fail of exams and assignments marked. It was fun – the social part, but stressful in the academic part. How much does university really prepare us for careers and life? The degree opens doors to jobs but then we have to unlearn a lot before we can fully function. There is a lot we can and will eventually change, but, for now, it feels like the world of academia is here to stay.
Could it be that some who choose an academic career may not carry a great relationship with their body (in the sense of taking care and honouring it) and end up working in a context that rewards such inclination and naturalise it as the way things are?
In the last few years, I have participated in lots of two days workshops run by former university students. What strikes me workshop after workshop is the ‘celebration’ aspect of it (at least a late dinner, followed by an ultra late visit to a bar where people get ‘happy’ thanks to alcohol). The great majority goes to bed super late and sleep only a few hours. What I have seen consistently with different groups of people is how wasted they are in the last day of the activity but how much they love it since for them is usually a sign that they have made a great use of their time. The old university days are back!
University years are seen as a time of cropping and investment of which will benefit at its due time. Those years, too, are seen as a time that is different compared to what your life will become when you get ‘serious’. These images are killers given the well being implications they carry.
This is so true Eduardo. I never realised that my care free and some what lazy days at university were setting up bad behaviours for my future life in work where any lack of commitment or laziness stands out like a sore thumb. It’s best to commit to university and health on all levels throughout our whole study so that the behaviours are so strong with us after University that it’s naturally to continue in this way at work.
As the saying goes we need two to tango. Students are able to make inroads in their unloving ways to walk through university because professors are also far ahead in that road too. We tend to think of professor being ahead in the knowledge game, but we need to add the other dimension as well into the picture.
The only thing that University doesn’t teach is how to live life in full and that we are complete. Schools are more a kin to Pate de foie gras production… where students are funnel feed with information and sent out to waddle into world.
A great image Steve… universities producing conveyor belts of the pre-deigned cut-outs of students go out into the workforce. Ultimately reducing the real human being to a fraction of who they really are.
The ripple effect of one. I love reading about this because it brings responsibility and autonomy right back into my lap. This is both inspiring and empowering and a long way from the ‘hapless victim’ role I used to choose.
Thank you for sharing this Danielle. This is so precious and yes it is important that we share our lovely rhythms of self-care and that we all focus again on our body and therefore our health and well-being first. What you share here is true and is really necessary to change as shows all kind of growing illnesses and diseases. Stress & exhaustion became an accepted “normal” and we first grow up with this need to realise it – that it is absolutely NOT normal and that there is another way – more loving, caring and vital. The way Universal Medicine is presenting this so committed and so steady is absolutely amazing and I am grateful for that to step by step come back to feel the true normal vital way of life again.
I remember at university how there was a lot of rejection of ourselves going on, in order to fit in, to be accepted and liked. This makes me question the quality of that time and of those relationships, because if we each were trying very hard to diminish our own true expressions, then we would be doing the same to each other.
This is spot on Shami Duffy and the ongoing rejection of who we truly are and of what is true to us results in a deep lack of self confidence by the time we finish university and are so called ‘ready’ to enter the work world.
“If I had not spoken up about my caring rhythm my colleagues would have not experienced another way.” This line feels super important because this is where great change can start. In amongst normal every day life, offering another way to what is going on around us. Thank you Danielle.
Yes, Sarah, this quote is great. It is in our everyday conversations and open-ness that we can support and inspire one another. I love hearing about what others are doing to take care of themselves, manage their commitments, develop their relationships etc.
I do too Matilda love hearing what others are doing to support themselves in all areas of their lives. It also makes me aware of not holding back and share what I am doing as perhaps I may have something to offer. I have come to realise that it is so supportive and inspiring when we live in this way.
This is the inspiration that is needed to support each other to make changes out of the accepted norm that keeps us entrapped and separated from our true potential.
It is the inspiration that is needed to support each other to make changes out of the accepted norm which I can never get enough of especially when another speaks up. It’s interesting because for most of my life especially at a social event I would hardly say a word! How this is all changing and it is because of Danielle and many others that are leading the way for myself and many others to express that which comes so naturally when connected to my essence.
This line stood out for me too. It really does stop me to realise the importance (much grander than what I realise at the time) of not holding back and expressing what needs to be said in any given moment.
Yes the only way any lovelessness and disharmony in any system will truly be changed is to change it from the inside out, with people on the inside inspiring a new way in the way they work and live, and not being afraid to be seen to be the one shining our natural and true way forth.
The other day I was in the queue in a shop and I heard a young lady say to a friend how her having 4 hours sleep each night is normal now as she has so much work to do. It made me think of this blog and also how when there are outside pressures, how easy and normal it has become to neglect ourselves in the pursuit of a goal. Thank you for sharing what you have written here Danielle, as it lets people know that there is another way to work that does not make our health suffer in the process.
Unfortunately Shevon Simon I think this is now the norm for so many people. The crazy thing is we are the ones making ourselves this busy, there’s nobody else we can blame because at the end of the day we are the one’s who say yes to it, organise it or tolerate it.
Danielle you raise a great point about lecturers actually discussing with students about managing their time, or asking for an extension rather than cramming in all-nighters to finish a paper, maybe this should be part of a university’s duty of care.
Yes absolutely Sally. It is like the lecturers put out a task without fully considering the workload students already may be under and then the student just goes out out of their way to reach the deadline without considering the option to ask for extension. The key here seems communication. I found in my life that I have so many assumptions of that it is not possible to communicate about extension as that is just not done in university but from your comment I feel that is actually the issue. Because we all not express and communicate it creates this reality of impossible deadlines that are reached what ever the persons state may be after handing the paper or whatever in. When our reality could be totally different when we would communicate and find a way that works for the teacher and the student.
‘I don’t encourage any student to ever work like this, with such pressure, as it has long-term consequences on your health, and for me your health is more important than one assignment.’ This is so true, we put so much pressure on ourselves because we often take on the fact that our parents didn’t have the same opportunity, and they are the ones funding it, so we feel pressured not to fail.
We are artful at finding excuses to live ‘under pressure’ whilst all the time our bodies are calling for another approach – one that I have found, when applied, a great deal more productive and, of course, life-enhancing. We have to catch ourselves applying those mental constructs full of ‘shoulds’ and start to arrest those in favour of being guided by the innate wisdom of our bodies.
Absolutely Danielle, I love what you shared with your student who pulled the all nighter and with your work colleagues. The same old cycle of disregard is still taken for granted as the way it is, but there are plenty now who can show another way, and how simply you have shown this is possible.
I’ve been out of the university system now for 2 years and when I left my feeling was that it was not improving but in fact getting worse, because of changes in technology and now much of the training being online so that students can do it when ever they want, which I’m sure will be at late nights for many, who will also try to fit in full time work and run themselves into the ground. The body will eventually stop people.
It should be a mandatory to have a self care unit incorporated in each course that is taught by someone that truly lives that level of care in all University subjects as a part of the curriculum.
Agree Sara this is the way to go. And how amazing would it be for this to be included at school age even – the pressures on students start so young and when self-care is eroded and replaced by the push to succeed the disregard has become so normal once they reach university.
Now that would be revolutionary – and is well needed. Well said Sarah.
What a wonderful idea, Sarah. What a different workforce we would have if everyone was educated about self care and how to have balance in their lives.
Absolutely Sarah, it’s about time we introduced the self care unit to life at every stage.
I can feel the immediate surprise and then inspiration in the lecture hall when the tutor says, ‘Your foundation is self-care – a something that needs to be part of your life so that anything you choose to do is sustainable and enjoyable.’ An inspiration for everyone to consider the impact of all their choices both short term and long term. Great plan, Sarah.
Yes, and this ‘self-care unit’ has to start from day one, at kindergarten or pre school, and continue through school, so this is seen as the norm. How wonderful this would be.
Absolutely agree Sarah Baldwin. The crazy thing is that people are beginning to introduce more awareness of what is called ‘self care’ but it’s not actually true self care and it’s just a relief to think that we are more self caring. The truth is that there is apart of many people that don’t want to live with self-care or self-worth because it requires responsibility, and instead there is a tendency to want to continue in irresponsibility and indulgence.
Pulling all nighters and staying up late in Uni is a culture that has been championed and considered a commitment and strength. Its very hard to penetrate or crack the surface of this with people that live that culture but because of this difficultly its all to often we give up and just go with the current or pull of the majority. What you put forward in this blog is that one person can make a difference, no matter what the situation and I find that truly inspirational, thank you.
Being blindly swept along with the ‘norms’ in society, is something I have done a lot of. I was always asking the questions inside but still complying to the path of least resistance. This is the slippery slope to the edge of the cliff with the lemmings. And I come to see now as really irresponsible. If I do not get my hands onto my own steering wheel and make my own informed choices then I am part of what I now consider to be the continued diminishment of humanity. From unsustainable, unsupportive and unhealthy work and lifestyle choices to conflict in our lives, both personally and globally. Of course the more people that choose to drive away from the cliff edge, as it were, the better trodden that path becomes for others to see.
Thank you Danielle this is a gift to all university students and all students at school ,college and in life . Taking care of how we live is our fundamental foundation in life and builds a loving way that can handle all we are given. It is our choices and how we choose to live that constellates the life we have, this is the best thing we can learn and live from.
I agree Tricia, I’ve only just began to truly appreciate how much the way we live not only effects our whole life, but effects everyone’s lives around us. There’s so much focus on ‘doing’ in life and not enough focus on both the quality of our body and our being. If we were to shift the focus to our quality of health and being the world would be a totally different place.
This is a really great article Danielle, thank you for the light you have thrown on the subject and starting the conversation.
It would be great to have this conversation started by all of us in the industries we work in. It has to start somewhere, anywhere by those committed.
‘The majority of students finish their degree stressed, exhausted and needing a break, a long holiday away, and often dreading thought of working full time;’ This fact alone is something which should make us all stop and consider, is there another way.
Which is why a lot of them take a year out and go travelling.
‘It was and still is very common for students to stay up very late to finish work or cram for exams – it is almost expected.’ I recall this, it was at the time like a badge of honour… look how cool I am because I did this. I do not see it this way at all now, and having gone through a big move, instead of staying up late and packing, I went to bed early and arose early to continue. I felt far less exhausted than the other times I have moved house.
Awesome Danielle. “It was and still is very common for students to stay up very late to finish work or cram for exams – it is almost expected.” I just started studying and yes it is very expected, it’s seen as there is no other way to do it. Our health is so much more important, as if you don’t have you health, you’ll never finish the degree and work on the field. Which is why you started studying in the first place.
I have recently gone back to studying. I am studying at home through an online course. I am aware of how confusing and overwhelming it could be if I allowed it, but by building it in to my loving rhythm it has simply become another part of my week that gets done like everything else. I am very clear it is a means to an end to further my career, but I am also enjoying committing to life in a new way through taking an interest and taking command of my own life. So far it has been a positive experience that is very different from any study I have done in the past. This is totally due to my approach and the way that I live my life.
I am currently studying a post grad diploma. My work colleagues and I have a running joke about the way this course is designed. We say they think of the most supportive way to impart technical understanding, then write the course as the exact opposite. It’s a joke, but it’s our way of expressing how it feels to be a student of a loveless system.
So true Abby. It seems they don’t try to simply teach it. They try to make the process as complicated as possible.
Yes, Abby, I have had similar questions around why courses need to be made so difficult, when there is a simple and supportive way to present the information. But then life is complicated and a struggle if we are not connected to our natural loving ways.
That’s so interesting Abby that this is how professionals in the field feel about what is supposed to be the most supportive way of getting into the industry. Absolutely exposes the loveless-ness.
Danielle I think life as we’re currently living it is exhausting it for pretty much everyone.
Yes it is Alexis, because the majority are achievement driven instead of self care driven and the irony is we can achieve so much more when we look after ourselves first
So true Alexis, we all have the push and go mentality. That our bodies are simply fleshy machines that (as the milo add says it) go and go and go. Without requiring a seccond though or consideration.
Absolutely, we are all seeking a way of living that drains us, so we don’t have to be the truly vital and vibrant and loving people that reflects the truth of who we. Instead we actually tend to avoid the responsibility.
Wow yes Elizabeth this would be amazing. Maybe the fact we don’t yet have this shows that as a society we are avoiding responsibility and actually asking for the other, a system that is there to numb and distract from the reality of life. The more and more people who begin to truly choose responsibility will support humanity to see there is another way.
What I have found is that university education while highly intellectual and advanced in the understanding of many complex subjects, fails to often produce people that can not only do their job and do it well but also to look after and deeply care for themselves and others through the quality they choose to live each day with. I have observed so many people smoking and drinking to manage and get by. Is this the state we want people to be in when they leave university to bring this to serve the rest of humanity? For me self care has always been seen as just as intelligent and wise to master as is the advanced subjects learnt through our education systems
There is a strange sense of pride amongst uni students when you talk about all nighters to get assignments done and the party hard, work hard culture of many universities. It is a strange thing how we take pride in what is simply just self abusive behaviour. I have observed the same thing in the building industry, where men take perverse pride in being able to get drunk the night before and still turn up for work and do a full day.
Yes it is really odd Adam that we take such pride in being able to abuse the body in the way we do without a second thought for how we are not only affecting our own body but everyone else, by our lack of care and responsibility.
“It is a strange thing how we take pride in what is simply just self abusive behaviour.” well said Adam. It’s become so common and everyday that no one even thinks twice about it.
Yes Adam I remember this well. It was like who could tough it out the most was the coolest. I am so glad I do not see this behaviour as cool now!
I have experienced the same pride in the hospitality industry, chefs championing all night benders and work performance after big parties.
I have attempted to approach friends that attend University with the concept of going to bed early and waking up early as an approach for study but I am met with loads of resistance. It is a deeply embedded culture in society that will take time to change.
And there we see the impact of learned behaviours. This mad pride in abusing ourselves with our choices about work hours, lack of sleep, partying hard…all learned and championed in secondary schools and universities then perpetuated in the work place.
Wow Danielle I love that you encouraged your student not to work the whole night – I am sure that this is something this student will never forget and perhaps this changed his/her life in terms of being more self nurturing.
Same here Ester. It was awesome to hear the changes in her colleagues as well.
The inspiration to speak up is from the knowing that all of humanity are asking to see the truth, and if we have access to it then we are the custodians responsible to deliver it.
I take a regular yoga class to year 9 girls and I am amazed at is the level of stress that these girls are already feelng from such a young age. The pressure that they feel only continues to increase as they finish school and then head to University. Your article Danielle, is a great call to change, that there is a different way we can be students, where each person is deeply honouring with themselves as they go about being a student and their state of being is considered more important than the marks that they get on the paper. Getting an A includes Appreciating themselves, Adoring themselves and knowing how Awesome they are.
You’re right Donna it’s not just the University system that is upside down and reflecting a loveless and unhealthy way of living, it starts much much earlier at high school and no doubt even in primary school, from the very first day of school where it is made about what we do instead of who we are. The whole education system has missed the key ingredient, even if they are doing a ‘good’ job or an ‘exceptional’ job in their systems and how they support and encourage students, this will never be enough without the focus being on who we truly are and living in a way that honours this first.
I love your call for change Danielle – so needed. We have become society where sickness is the norm – and it all comes from stress and the way we live our lives .
Absolutely Jenny, it’s normal to put health and wellbeing last and everything else first, which is naturally going to result in a stress in our body and in our way of living. Then we wonder why we or others are so stressed. Very crazy and it will only change if more and more people start putting self-care and health first before anything and everything and inspiring others to see they can do the same.
Yes, I do too Jenny. Instead of just criticising how it currently is, Danielle has offered a way to look at things anew and try a different approach.
Indeed Gill it would be a totally different way to approach studying at university and allow for the wisdom and knowing of our hearts to come through and support us.
I loved re-reading this blog, because it reminds of how I can still occasionally go into that driven energy and keep pushing myself to just complete another thing before going to bed and then wonder why I cant get off to sleep straight away. You raise such an important issue around allowing space at the end of the day to wind down and let go of any mental or emotional issues we may still be in.
Yes Jennym, allowing space at the end of the day to wind down, let go of any mind thoughts or angst and settle into this important part of our day, is part of a self caring approach and rhythm that is good to build up within ourselves as true support for what is needed to build a more loving and whole bodied approach.
I know Jenny I’m the same, even though I understand and appreciate all of this it’s still easy to find myself going into the doing of anything, when really at the end of the day what we do matters zero if the quality of who we truly are is not in it. This is a fact that can be hard for the head to get around, because it totally cancels out the recondition of the head and being a good thinker and makes it 100% about how we move and how we nurture and care for our body both before, during and after any activity.
University is not exhausting us for life. University is part of life. The main problem with university is that there are no role models who are not exhausted, just like everywhere else in life and you can get by for a long term producing below par results.
In life outside university you would be reminded much more quickly when you produce below-par results, hence university allows us to deepen our neglects and indulgences much longer.
I agree, Christoph, that there is a culture at university that encourages students to live in self neglect and abuse. But just as in other areas of life we can make different choices about how we live. Unfortunately the university culture has along way to go in supporting students to live in a loving way.
Yes I agree Anne, the way the University is currently set up is not providing any true support or education what so ever and instead is encouraging students to leave who they truly are and make it about the knowledge and the results. It doesn’t need to be this way, but it needs true role models leading the systems to show students the true way forth, about quality of life, movement and love first and information and training second. If the quality and a living of love in our body is not there, it doesn’t matter how brilliant the system is, or how fantastic it is at getting students to work hard and achieve high it will always be harmful without the connection to the quality and dimensions of who we truly are.
I know from my own personal experience how easy it is to get stuck in the rut of doing something you know isn’t working but not sure how to do it differently. i am forever grateful for those around me who had already found a different way and were living it openly for all to share and be inspired by.
This is totally it Fiona and Nicole. It’s not about being told how to live or what to change or what we are doing wrong and what is the right way forward. It’s all about how we live around each other that truly inspires, people, it’s the seeing and feeling of something different, instead of the knowledge of what should be done, but not knowing how because it’s not seen or felt.
There is a lot in this article Danielle, but I particular like the aspect about whether we are preparing students for life and to join the workforce? As I am observing that as well, that more and more people are not able to cope with a normal everyday job.
I feel this is really something we need to address as a society, there is an obvious decline in quality work, which is concerning many but what are we doing about it? You are identifying one of the roots where it all starts and where we can offer a change. Great call!
Yes, Judith, the fact that regular working life is a rude awakening to the majority of students, confirms that university is by no means preparing young people for the real world, and that a sense of responsibility is not being instilled. So students arrive on their first day with a bag load of information in their heads but little clue as to how to establish a consistent and productive working routine, that supports them and guarantees quality in their work.
Yes its something that needs to be addressed and maybe this is the begging of a much needed discussion. I mean who cares if we have all the knowledge in the world if we are unable to practically apply it into a living way and work ethic that is employable.
Forget the exam results as governments and teachers we should be asking the much needed and fundamental question “How can we support uni students to live in a way that leaves them energised, vital, fit, strong, healthy and ready for work?”
I agree Samantha, this is a great question to start with in order to bring change into a system that is running us ragged – and that does not only happen at university, our society is rife with overly stressed people and our productivity is declining rapidly.
Yes Samantha. and great to share how you support your vitality in such an exhausting environment Danielle – ‘I shared with the team that I prefer to stop work by 7 or 8pm, to have time to let go of the day and prepare for a deeply restful and nurturing sleep by 9pm. I then wake up extra early to work on the project in the morning before my normal work day, as I’m more alert at this time of day than at 10pm at night.
Post this conversation I observed small changes in my colleagues, such as no activity on the documents or emails past 9 or 10pm. Though I say ‘small changes’, this level of self-care is monumental in supporting health and vitality long term, which then supports clarity and purpose.’
I agree Jenny and Samantha- sharing such invaluable tips to avoid exhaustion whilst studying at Uni is very supportive, helpful and inspiring.
The work ethic imposed upon us on my course when I was at Uni, was full on – not from a stance of work hard because you love what you do but ‘work hard otherwise you will be less than your peers and you won’t get into the top agencies’. It always felt like this was coming from a place of threat and fear of not being enough rather than from the joy of studying what you love. I loved what I did, however I still worked non-stop; my drive to achieve coupled with the stance of the Uni made for a life where within 10 years my body had broken down with exhaustion.
“The average University life has a negative impact on one’s body.” My experience in university many years ago, was very tough. I was holding on to two jobs to get me through university. The stress of passing exams, caused me to lose a lot of weight. I was constantly tired, as my days were long, working and studying. I would be so tired that often I would fall asleep in lectures. It was a very tough period for me, I had no time to go out partying or late nights.
I fell asleep in lectures all of the time too Amita, and sometimes it didn’t matter how much sleep I was having and even what I was eating I would always fall asleep. It wasn’t because it was boring but many years on I have realised it was because the lecturer was just talking to my head, loading and loading me and everyone with mountains of information and never stopping and feeling if people were keeping up and actually taking it in. It’s like a head talking to a head with no regard for the body and the person.
University life is exhausting and not a loving way at all on the body. It is a cram of knowledge. I studied a Bachelor of IT and what had to be learned from a technical perspective was too much and I do not think all of it was needed. The lecturers, as Danielle exposed, had the same life. The same lifestyle was being turned over from one generation to the next all knowledge and no connection to the students, how they had to learn, it was delivered in a way that you had to learn the hard way from even at the conceptual level.
If I was teaching and I know you can not change the curriculum. I would simplify it as much as I could for the students to understand. I would support them in the answers just as long as I knew ALL of them understood what the teaching is. And I would make sure everyone is with me. I would make this clear to them too. Essentially it would be learning through connection – lots of fun !
It would be a whole different ball game if teaching was approached with this kind of care.
Love what you have shared here Rik. I totally agree. The courses at University can be overloaded with complexity and filled with content that is a lot of the time not relevant. Then to get through the semester, one has to go into so much disregard just to get through. As you say, the lecturers are not that much better, how they treat themselves, so not providing much of a reflection or role model to students. I like your suggestions about simplifying, making learning about connection and ‘lots of fun’.
I don’t think that university is only exhausting us, the way we live is exhausting us. Feeling tired and then being exhausted seems to be normal. We are constantly in motion and from a young age we don’t learn how to just be.
Exactly Mariette the way live exhausts us! This is crazy no other species lives in such complete disregard. Serious questions need to be asked as to why have we got ourselves in this situation and why when it is so obviously wrong we keep doing it.
So true Mariette – today already primary school kids are exhausted. Kids start life on high sugar diets, which results in constant need for entertainment and activity – when do we ever get to rest and enjoy the moment?
It seems that we are expected to be and do more in all areas of our life, as seen in longer work hours and more homework or assessments at school and university. But what is interesting is what is the quality in which we live? Do we live in the quality that we are enough before we do any of these tasks or are we doing them from the deficit of not being enough and looking for recognition, acceptance and approval?
Stillness is certainly not part of the current curriculum. The day it is seen as the absolute seed of everything, everything can change.
Very true Mariette. There are a growing number of people who are able to work long hours and complete an incredible amount however this comes from a foundation of living in true health and full regard of every aspect of this in their lives. From this basis it is possible to be in stillness whilst still completing so much.
That is so true Mariette, as I learned to be in a constant drive from day one. To stop and to chose to be more still was not possible as this did not fit into the rhythm that those around me were living. So I was in such a drive my whole life without discerning it because for me this was so normal.
Mariette, that is true. At university we just get less reminders that we have gone off track so we can be in a worse state when we finally take stock. The curse of low requirements.
This is so absolutely true Mariette Reinek, it’s now the so called norm to do a lot and be busy and live of caffeine, many cups per day. Nobody in the medical or scientific world are challenging this the way they should.
Danielle that is such a inspirational blog! I agree it often did not take much to change the world a little bit – ahahaha. It is my own experience as well that through living a more self loving and self nurturing life also my colleagues got inspired. How could they not as they could feel very often how great I feel.
Well said, Ester. It is great to take a moment and appreciate the ripple affect of our loving ways, just by being ourselves and living what we know to be true.
Great point Janet, we need to bring more appreciation into our lives and confirm ourselves and each other this way. Because when we change our ways we stick out like a sore thumb challenging the ways of society and at times can be ostracized or ridiculed for it. Appreciation and confirming oneself is a great way to keep steady in “being ourselves and living what we know to be true.”
It is so interesting that when we make more loving and self-caring choices that others clock it and I can inspire them or give them an appreciation for their own self care.
Your comment makes me laugh Ester, you can just feel the vitality and joy that you are living and sharing with others, thank you.
I have contemplated returning to study and completing a University Degree but my habit of leaving things to the last minute made study a very uncomfortable activity in the past. I have a strong and loving rhythm now but am still addressing the pattern of delay that I go into. As this becomes a thing of the past, and managing a large workload becomes more effortless, perhaps I would consider embarking on such a commitment. If is necessary.
Awesome Danielle, for speaking up and offering another way, and for sustaining your loving rhythm despite everyone else doing it the other way. It is inspiring to know that it is possible to take on a large workload and sustain this in a way that supports and honours the body.
I agree Doug – there are so many institutions and systems, in which nobody knows how to nurture ourselves. It is always just about the results (good marks, money, …). For all these achievements the body has to pay for it. And when we live only in the head, the body can’t send us signals. It is really time to re-create the university system – to eliminate all the ill-making mechanisms.
I love what you share here Danielle. It is so true, we can only live by example. If we shut up, then all the ill behaviours will continue. When we speak up and share our self-loving way with ourselves, other people can learn from that. We can be role models for so many people. From my own studies I know how many times I was exhausted due to late nights. I had to finish an assignment or I had to learn for an exam and I couldn’t stop. Terrible. Today I know that looking after my body and my health comes first and then all other duties of life.
It’s true Alexander Gentler that it’s about speaking up. Too many of us so often just lay low and roll over and or pretend that it doesn’t effect us, that we see it, but won’t engage in it – so we look after our own lives. These days living like this will have a consequence, because we are basically shutting down to humanity.
And now a degree is not just a 3-4 year thing, but then there is work experience, graduate degrees, post graduate work experience, pHD’s and on the job training. Not only are you exhausted just by you normal undergraduate degree, it is now becoming common place to move onto another level of higher education here in England, rather than go into a job. How exhausted must people get, but not only that, not really ready for a job – higher education is not the same as the reality of working, and for many its a total shock.
I totally agree Rebecca, it’s difficult to get a job after just a 3-4 year degree and after most degrees we have to specialize to do masters to be able to be in a position intellectually or according to society to be able to get a job. After 9 years at University (a degree, honours and a PhD) I was totally unprepared for what work life was really like and my degrees only helped my head to understand what was going on. I was never shown in my body how to not only be prepared for the work but my body was drained and totally unprepared for work. Totally upside down.
What you share here exposes a lot Danielle, it really begs the questions, what are we preparing people for by pushing them through University? What kind of workforce are we creating? Which essentially is the backbone of our society.
This is totally upside down Danielle. In the UK there used to be many more apprenticeships for school leavers, which was perfect for those who weren’t academic and for those who wanted to prepare for work. But over the years this option for people has slowly declined as the investment of these schemes have been withdrawn. It doesn’t make sense to force everyone through an academic route one that doesn’t everyone and one that doesn’t guarantee readiness for the world of work when completed.
and, very importantly, leads to an unsuitable set of skills both for the student and for society. People with skills nobody wants to pay for and employers not finding the skilled tradespeople they need. An expensive and debilitating mistake.
Gosh when said like this it really does not make sense, almost like we are being set up to fail.
Why we learn and what we learn has an impact on our experience of university, what is it we seek from education? I literally forced myself to go to university because I ‘thought’ it was what people did, I knew I was intelligent and wise and so thought that it was necessary for me so I could get a job that did not bore me. I did not conform, I struggled with deadlines and I felt like a round peg pushed into a square hole… the point being that true education was not on my horizon. It is essential that we support ourselves concerning education in all areas of life. University has its place in this world, and preparing and being ready for what it offers is an important part of being an involved in our communities. I have gone on to make study part of my life, it has its place, being open to it supports my life and my community. I live with a truer purpose and education is part of that. True learning, true education comes from a willingness to learn in all areas of life.
Yes, the moment uni students overdo it and are abusing their bodies to get the study done, the professors should be on their cases to make sure that their quality of being is not compromised. How far away from that are we in reality?
You’ve hit the nail on the head Fiona. It’s obvious that the intelligence that run’s Universities is not actually that intelligent at all, and instead is just like a talking head living from the outside, not even considering what is happening on the inside. What’s the point in being highly intelligent and successful if our body is slowly dying around us.
It baffles me that with a global healthcare crisis we still send people into the workplace already wiped out, as you say “The majority of students finish their degree stressed, exhausted and needing a break”. With all the smartest minds in the world churning out highly educated people, its clearly showing that unless we take care of our bodies we will be no use for life itself.
University is definitely exhausting my daughter – I wish you were her professor! Or that your wisdom could be shared with all university curriculum writers and lectures everywhere.
Absolutely Jeanette, this wisdom does need to be shared with all Universities everywhere and we can all be the one’s to start it, it must come from everyone, the students, the parents of students, anyone working in the system, anyone visiting the system and anyone observing the system, even just starting with one University. Every little bit counts and it will only change with a great movement of many people.
Outcomes are highly valued as a marker of progress, but very often this is at the expense of wellbeing, so regardless of the so called success, in truth there is harm.
Imagine if the marker of progress or success was the quality of the relationship we had with ourselves as men and women, and our understanding and ability to live nurturing, commitment to life with a high level of vitality. If this was the true measure of success then the Universities would be producing people that can be successful in any job, where they could even go on and do on the job training, like it was hundreds of years ago before there were universities.
An excellent blog calling out what seems a ridiculous situation. I can relate to being like this in high school too! I stayed up all night when I was 16 completing a sewing assignment of all things. Following the HSC I was wrecked from all the studying and pressure. Time to change this crazy world of education, for all it teaches us is how to abuse our bodies to get the outcome.
If students are leaving university exhausted and depleted following secondary and higher education then this is the quality that they will bring to the jobs they go onto and which in turn is what our businesses, organisations and services will be based on.
Exhaustion and lack of self-care is what our businesses, organisations and services are based on. There is only one organisation I know who is truly making it about building a loving, vital and open body first, and they are leading the way for the world to see what’s possible.
University has the potential to offer our future generations a great deal of knowledge and understanding that can benefit the whole of humanity, perhaps though it will take more people like Danielle Pirera who are willing to give students much more than academia, to really turn the system around.
And yes, we need more lecturers supporting the students with self-care. However, the students themselves are the only ones who can actually make that decision.
It’s true Nikki the only way the system will change is if it changes from the inside out. It’s impossible to tell people what the way is and that they can be living and working in a way that builds a vital, open and loving body and expect them to just change. It’s something we need to come to together as a community.
With many students I went to uni with and students that I still witness to this day I ask myself why they chose to study. No, or little, study is done during the term time when the space is given as other things seem to have more of a priority. Come exam time or when an assignment is due, an all nighter is required. This is not responsible nor necessary. If responsibility was taken earlier on, an all nighter would not be necessary.
I had a somewhat different experience of university. I was very focussed on my grades and I studied a lot (looking back, possibly too much). I also had a part time job and had family commitments. However, I never pulled an all nighter nor would I stay up till midnight cramming or finishing an assignment. I took responsibility for my time management. I knew what was needed and when and I would plan for this. We can blame the system all we like, and no it is not supportive, but we have a choice as to how we live.
Great blog Danielle. It once again reinforces that our bodies are the best friend we could ever have! They report on every aspect of our living if we are tuned in and value their highly tuned radar quality. We don’t need to look anywhere else to feel and to understand the exhaustion that both university and other chosen lifestyles can have on our wellbeing. Committing to honouring our body’s wisdom is another topic!
“Our bodies are the best friend we could have” – this is so true and I’ve more recently come to appreciate the full effect an unhealthy body has on our mental health. If we trash our body with the wrong foods or lack of sleep or too much business it has a great effect on our confidence and how much we like ourselves. They should be teaching or sharing this at University!
One of the issues with university life is that we are being told what is true and what is not true but there are major flaws in this approach. If we have intuition, we can often feel that something is not right without being able to point the finger at exactly what is wrong. This unease can easily lead to exhaustion.
This is a great point Christoph, it’s all totally intellectual and not based on what we feel deep down in a body what is true. There’s also a lack of living at uni that we all actually know everything, and it’s not a certain group of people that hold the knowledge.
Christoph I love what you’ve shared here. So many times we have to justify and prove something yet in that very aspect we close down that innate part of us that has a feeling that something is not right or an intuition that something needs to change. I would love to see the fostering our ability to know what is true without the mounds of evidence that is often full of flaws.
That’s a beautiful sharing Danielle. It is gorgeous how you responded to that student, in full support of their health over academic achievement.
You make a good point, Danielle, in that University is supposed to prepare us for the next stage in our lives and for the start of our careers. We are generally not taught how to look after ourselves, to study with care plus self care, and the late-night lifestyle continues well into adulthood. Science is now catching up with what we all innately know, that gong to bed early and rising early is way more productive for the brain and is certainly good for our bodies.
Yes it’s quite funny that a University, which is thought to be a leading institute in knowledge and intellect are behind the game on this. It’s true that deep down the body know’s what is most supportive for us on a whole, in terms of what to eat and drink and when to rest and sleep to be truly vital and healthy. The fact that the Universities don’t follow what the body shows us and instead overrides or only listens when science starts to prove it as fact shows that many or most University systems put the intelligence of the mind ahead of the intelligence of the body.
How different University life would be for our students if they grew up with self care at the forefront of life. It would then become a natural part of how they approached their studies. Primary and secondary schools could support this but we each have a role by reflecting and sharing what this means in our lives.
Same for our children at school, self-care as a subject at school would transform education and have children saying no to an overload of work.
This was great to read Danielle and to get a broader perspective on University life. “If I had not spoken up about my caring rhythm my colleagues would have not experienced another way.” Showing that self-caring choices have value is more of what we need so that we can change the current mentality to something a lot more harmonious to the body.
Yes this is it Shelly, we just need more people talking about it, as everyone know’s the current way’s not right, it’s just that no body or not many are standing up and sharing an alternative that works! Thanks to Universal Medicine who inspired me to see that there was another way possible, that 10 years ago I thought would have not been possible.
I was contemplating yesterday that if we made life about people and the quality we are in, in any given moment, then we would not place stress on another to get our demands met. So often we are absorbed by what we have to to, or get done and put pressure on others (and ourselves) to ‘perform’ without any consideration of the stress we might be placing on everyone. Through your blog Danielle, you share another way to view and live life.
I did well in school exams and was never particularly stressed about a deadline or an exam but despite that, during the final exam in a subject I paused and, to my great surprise, my writing hand was trembling. I noticed it with raised eyebrows and continued without feeling particularly stressed. Maybe more went on than I realised at the time.
When I was at Uni, I put so much effort and focus into my marks. Only to realise later in life that none of it really mattered. No one remembers what score you got for engineering when you are 30 years old, let alone 40, yet at the time we treat it like our life depends upon it.
I had the same thing Adam! I remember feeling that it was all so important at the time to get great marks at University only to realise later that it really did not mean anything to anyone in the workplace and it certainly did not make me a better health professional. In fact had I learnt to take care of myself more at university and put more attention into that, it would definitely have supported me more to be more caring with my clients and colleagues.
So True Andrew and Adam. Learning to care for yourself during studying at Uni brings more fullness to your future job than any high mark will.
Thanks Andrew, it’s great to see a health professional write with so much integrity, knowing that it is the quality rather than quantity that matters.
Adam and Andrew you have made a great point here and exposed one of the reason’s why the health of the body is overridden at University, because the ‘grades’ or doing well becomes more important. It’s the same at high school. This feels to be driven by the academics or the universities and schools who seek recognition for producing students who get high grades, which is apparently a reflection of a good quality student. You are both exposing that high grades does not mean top quality professional, and the truth is that anyone working in the industry know’s this so it’s a downfall of a university that it tries to sell otherwise.
What you share here is so true. We assume that if someone has higher academic grades they will be a ‘better professional’. When I was studying to become a teacher, those that were able to produce the academic goods weren’t necessarily the most successful teachers. Those that had great interpersonal skills and a love for children often made the most difference in class. Likewise I find it strange that the nursing profession has gone down the academic route…how does writing a thesis enable a trainee nurse to connect to and care for her patients with more compassion, understanding and love? Not only is it the downfall of universities to sell us that high grades make top quality students and professionals, but it is also the downfall for the whole of humanity.
It does seem a paradox that intelligent people are not so intelligent when it comes to self-care. In truth we have accepted and normalised a way of being that is harmful in terms of pushing, striving, over eating, over drinking and pushing our bodies the most we can. It’s odd that our intelligence doesn’t seem to have connected to this fact and considered other options?
The following excerpt would be a great example to be used in teacher training relating to the relative importance of the academic work of students.
‘“Thank you for being conscientious about this and forwarding me another copy. I’m also aware that technology and computers aren’t the only things that don’t function well or that can give up after an all-nighter. Working throughout the night like this has a great impact on the body. I don’t encourage any student to ever work like this, with such pressure, as it has long-term consequences on your health, and for me your health is more important than one assignment. I would have preferred that you asked for an extension and did it in a way where you can take care of and look after yourself first, then maybe discuss with someone how you can improve your time management to not find yourself in such a situation again.”’
Yes I agree Michael, can you imagine if all teachers, trainers and academics were instructed or inspired to teach that the health and wellbeing of the student and how they are living their life was first and foremost more important than their grades. If this was to be introduced to the University System then the whole unit or course structure and layout would need to be reconsidered and re-written, so that the first few subjects that any student did was on self-care, nurturing and how to care for the physical, physiological and mental health and wellbeing of our bodies and minds.
This type of scenarios are expected by teachers as you said Danielle, it is then reflected in the working life where people are also expected to work extra hours. I will always remember working for a consulting firm in London in the catering team and delivering sandwiches, crisp and orange juices in the evening and meeting the same team early morning. Some of them went back home for a couple of hours sleep and came back the next day to finish their project.
Self care is good advice for life and to see someone truly caring for themselves in the university environment is very valuable, because it doesn’t happen very often. It seems to be generally accepted that all nighters and cramming are the usual way. To make the natural rhythm that we have, part of the awareness and part of the knowledge that we gain during our education would be so worthwhile and self care would then be considered normal.
This is a way we need to reclaim as a society and there could be a beginning in universities and schools, to live our lifes again according to the rythm our bodies require. I agree with you Amanda,.
I agree Amanda and Kerstin, University could actually be a time to connect back to our natural cycles and rhythms. Maybe there should be one year pre-university called universal living, where we learn all about the natural rhythms and cycles of our body and the universe and that living aligned to this, making choices based on what we feel in our body is more important than any other form of study.
I agree Katie and it is at present time a self perpetuating system. We need to pull the hand break and have a very honest look at where we are and then adjust to a way of being that supports the student in what they need to learn for their chosen life.
We all have a natural rhythm that we can adhere to and that will be apparent to us if we stop to override it with what we think and want. I remember as a child and young teenager I would like to do my homework in the early morning as it was much easier at that time, but gradually I adapted and become the student that worked till late at night sometimes into the night and this I continued into my working life. By that time I had convinced myself that I did my best work after 10 pm at night never ever considering what this did to my body and my health. Now I am back to the early night and early mornings rhythm and my body feels truly supported by this.
Thank you Danielle, the world needs to have this reflection as it has become the norm to put the work, deadline etc before our health and well being.
Absolutely carolien, imagine if this self-caring or self-loving way was discussed and encouraged in primary school and high-school, university and then the work force would be a totally different place.
What a joy indeed Danielle to be witnessing the impact of your own self loving choices and then this can inspire all those around you. Such an awesome confirmation that if we want changes to happen then it comes back to us and our choice.
Yes Natalie, we are all here to reflect the truth of how we can truly live our life and how life can be. It’s actually our responsibility to reflect this and make statements like this.
Really great what you have presented here Danielle, it is so true that being at university fosters very unhealthy and unloving behaviours. I know what i was like when I was first at uni, always working hard and playing hard, leaving assignments to the last minute and not being very conscientious at all. Then I went back as an adult student, working full time and studying, it was a very different experience as technology has moved on, the student experience was different, but the way you had to strive, work hard, extreme hours to get things done, was no different. I love what you have shared about fostering a different way, your reflection has started to show there can be a different way.
Danielle- thank you for sharing openly and honestly re Uni life . It is an opportunity for others to really see how disregarding the system is and one which is not very supportive to change. However, you are living proof that it is possible to complete project or team work and live harmoniously and healthily, by introducing selfcare and self nurturing ways into your daily rhythm.
How often do we carry the same way of living from our University days to future employment? Often the cycle doesn’t change and the overwhelm continues.
Such a good point nb, when we look at like this we have to see the harm we are ultimately setting ourselves up for.
Being at Uni it was common place to blame the workload for being stressed, staying up late and not caring for one’s body and wellbeing. You just accepted having to ‘push through’. Yet Danielle has shared that there is a way to be busy and still look after ourselves. How awesome to have a Uni Lecturer promoting self care in the context of a busy lifestyle and what a great starting point for life this would be for young adults, or re-training for older ones.
This doesn’t relate to University education specifically, but it is all relevant. There is so much that goes on in our schooling system for people and it is more than what happens in the classroom. I remember walking to the bag racks at school, out to the playground, walking to the toilet, all of the intimate and very acute feeling I had about the world about people, about spaces and about myself were huge. When we look at education we don’t look at this, we only teach that it is all about knowledge. We know in our world we have people who don’t like each other, jealousy, disharmony in relationships and this all happens in the school ground as well, even in younger grades. We would be so much more equipped to deal with the world and all that goes on if we were supported in this way as well, by being taught to read what we feel, and to not change who we are because something doesn’t feel right.
My high school and university life was very similar and it was the beginning of deep and very destructive patterns of disregard, self neglect and worthlessness. Pushing the body to finish assignments in all nighters was accepted and at times expected. I remember friends doing the same, cramming for exams, and living on sugar and coffee to try to combat the exhaustion. It seems to be part of the education system that no matter how you achieve good results, just achieve them – even at the expense of your health. It definitely doesn’t have to be this way. It would not be difficult for there to be an ongoing subject called “Self Care” that explored and taught principles of self care for all students and teachers.
It’s almost as if there is a belief that you just push through and get it done and then take time after you’ve finished university to start looking after yourself. What is not realised is that the ill and unhealthy behaviours created at university can be hard to undo when compared to having a fresh slate that can be built upon by truth first.
The clear, supportive feedback you gave the student who stayed up all night to study Danielle would have had a huge positive affect on their life, something that if they choose could support them in their working life, and also possibly have a ripple affect, influencing people around them who could learn by example about self love and self care.
Wow Thomas you have really appreciated and emphasised the power of just one simple statement and the responsibility we all have to speak up in any moment we are given.
It’s interesting that many students studying to be in the medical profession don’t take care of their bodies, nor are encouraged to do so, in fact it seems that the opposite is expected, that results and what is achieved is more important, yet these students may become the doctors who are expected to teach the public about good health, yet often are not able to implement this in their own lives.
“I have been inspired by Universal Medicine to live in such a self-caring way with my body, and to feel the impact of this. So bit-by-bit, maybe university life / work life and the stress, pressure and exhaustion that currently go hand in hand with this, may also change. This can start with just one person, who by choosing differently may inspire many. It is inspiring to hear that by one person sharing a different more supportive way of studying and taking care of their body’s and natural rhythms, and sharing this with others can make such a difference Danielle, when we hold back from not sharing the wisdom we all bring, every-body looses out.
“How can we support uni students to live in a way that leaves them energised, vital, fit, strong, healthy and ready for work? How can universities support students to already have nurturing and supportive rhythms in place rather than the self-destructive pattern of late nights, lots of coffee and high caffeine over-sugared ‘energy’ drinks… and at weekends parties with plenty of alcohol and drugs to look forward to, all to try and relax to escape the mundane week?”
This is such an important question you have posed Danielle, as university students are not simply or only studying a subject to get a qualification, they are the people that become the professionals in the work force that we then rely on and go to for advise, assistance etc. If self care in the from of self love and responsibility for good health and fitness are not part of what is being taught at university, then we are getting an exhausted group of people coming into the work force right from the start.
The number of uni students I know who are struggling to eat food, get any sleep and concentrate on their huge workload, as well and trying to work to earn money to live is just unbelievable. The pressures placed on these young peoples shoulders are crippling and rather than the government arguing about tuitions fees I would like to see them talk about what can be done to support the students more as people.
This is a great point Rebecca, “rather than the government arguing about tuitions fees I would like to see them talk about what can be done to support the students more as people”. Imagine if the government was arguing over the need to provide students with a foundation in their education on self-care and wellbeing, and how to live in a way that truly nurtures and fosters the health of their body, their self-woth and confidence to be and love themselves in life. If we could nurture this in every educational system then this would change the health of humanity and indirectly address the lack of infrastructure and man power available to meet the over loading demands of our health care systems.
It is incredible how others can be inspired to live in a more caring way simply by observing how another lives is a way that is more nurturing.
Yes Fiona, reflecting another way can be a changing point for others.
It is incredible to consider the abuse we rain down on ourselves, abuse that is now so accepted as to be considered normal. Coffee, alcohol, sugar, late nights, stress, anxiety, self-criticism – it is a long list and where, I ask myself, is the love and care in this?
Abuse is the right word, and self-abuse under the guise of normal life is rampant.
Great blog about how we live is always having an impact on others. We role model all the time and inspire people to live either in an abusive way or a self-caring way.
Very well said Rachel, we have a great responsibility in every moment, to choose self love and care for our bodies, or to treat them in a way that is disregarding, and this is what we are modelling to all others.
Yes – learning how to live, work, rest, study in a way that supports vitality, consistency and healthy sustainability is the bedrock of true education.
A corker of an article that acknowledges the ripple effects of one person openly sharing strategies that they have found have supported their work/life balance. An inspiration to never underestimate one moment of communication with anyone.
I agree Matilda – her email to the student is so lovely, and who knows how much of a relief and a support it must have been for the student to receive it
It is amazing how many self-destructive behaviours and patterns humans engage in when we consider it – to speak of another way and expose the truth of the situation is gold and a blessing for all those around us. Thank you Danielle.
Yes Gina and these self destructive behaviours at University are in the name of ‘good’, a good student, a conscientious student, a hard working dedicated student but it is self abuse.
You are calling out another norm’ in life which has simply been accepted by society. A blessing from you to the world.
What we call normal is just the accepted way of living by a large group of people who got accustomed to certain behaviours. This is a great sharing of how we can challenge this norm just by living more aware of what is actually supporting our health and what not.
It’s so crazy that as a society if we see everyone doing it we think it’s normal and don’t question it. There must be a point as a child where we reflect and know that it’s not true, but don’t have a solid connecting with living from our inner-strength to be a small child and stand up and say no I’m not going to do it that way. As adults we can by easily undo our past choice to conform and join the group by being the one who stands up now and shows another way.
‘I did it before you and here I am. If I was able to do it and be here talking to you, so can you. This is the motto at Uni. And, by the way, if you happen to need anything from me (e.g., a letter of recommendation), you have to prove yourself that you are worth it.’
There is no doubt that anyone is able to sustain for some time, a very unloving rhythm. I was. I remember my second year of my PhD. It was quite intense. One day I went to a drugstore and found something called ‘Stress Formula’. The capsules were big and orange. It had all kind of vitamins and minerals in it. You had to take one with water at the beginning of your day. So I tried it. I used to go to sleep around 1 am and I had to wake up around 4 am to start my day. I opened my eyes, got the pills and water. In 10 minutes, my mind and body where absolute ready to march on. My first pee after the pill was a very intense orange as well. All that my body could not take from the pill. At the time, I used to think that these pills were my best friends. After a year under such regime, I have started to have health issues.
I love your honesty Eduardo, in exposing all of the coping mechanisms that are out there that allow us to continue to push through and override the body’s cry to stop, slow down, rest and to develop true and nurturing rhythms that truly support it. Taking supplements and Chinese herbs or tinctures is seen as a way to support and care for the body, in a sense it can, but if it’s used to continue to live in an abusive way than it is not a support for the body and only a life line.
Like Jane I am now undertaking a PhD study while working almost full-time and parenting. It is only through the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I can come to this study with a completely different approach to my previous university studies and feel healthy and vital at the same time. Through paying attention to when I need to sleep, what food truly nourishes my body, what exercise I need I am building a rhythm that also sees me writing early in the morning before work, the key being consistency and not allowing my mind to wander to any thoughts of the size of this project. I also have to add that Jane’s thesis is an inspiration because you can feel the different energy in which it is written – it stands out as gentle yet powerful, not aiming for recognition but offered as a work for humanity.
Danielle I love that you have started sharing the realities of university life. I spent 6 years at uni immediately after high school, and have returned to study on a couple of occasions, but have also spent most of my working career in the university environment. As I read the first couple of paragraphs and your comments about how different university is to the workforce, what struck me about my experience of university life is a lack of consistency, or at least I didn’t bring any consistency to it. Going from high school, and in my case also leaving home, meant I felt an enormous sense of freedom as everyone else I met felt – we were all away from home. As you mentioned it wasn’t uncommon to skip lectures, arrange for someone else to get the notes, doze off in the back etc and spend your time with friends watching TV or hanging out at the pub. I didn’t have a regular study routine, but like most left assignments and exam preparation to the last minute and hence the stress mounted in a predictable cyclical pattern, predictably followed by a big party. What’s interesting is that I observe the same pattern persisting in most academics I have worked with – leaving everything until the last minute, the body then going into stress which filters out to everyone else. My observation is that university calls for a level of personal responsibility and commitment when it comes to time management, that we appear to be poorly prepared for on leaving high school. Even more important, as I’m learning now as I study again, the most important ingredient is self-care. I can attest that it is possible to work and study with minimal stress and your sharing also highlights how important it is to share this with others.
In university, self-care and well-being are no issues from the perspective of the system (beyond a truly minimalist conception). Everything is set up for you to get the best possible academic training (always in relative terms of course) while you are there. Classes are set up in a way that you do not have too much of an occasion to build relationships with professors, so live in your bubble and they live in their own. As a person no one really counts.
University – An extension of the sausage machine that is our school system? We have some great material here for a debate. Introducing the concepts of self-care and the impact that this has on productivity and ‘success’.
Your right Eduardo, the way everything is constellated at University is there to try and guarantee that there is no time or space to connect, with yourself, let alone with anyone else. So to change these ways will require a change within many in the system.
Well said Michelle, and as an educator in high school I can see these patterns beginning with very young teenagers. Reinforcing the self-care aspect, and the ultimate commitment for being responsible, contributing humans in the community and world is key throughout this whole process.
I love what you’ve shared here Michelle about the lack of consistency, it’s also felt like a laziness or almost arrogance that we can go things when ever we want to on our own time. In fact I feel there is a lot of this at University, that once you go to uni or become an academic your better than everyone else and it’s ok to make people work on your time, that’s the perk of being better than everyone else. Not everyone is like this but there is a consciousness of superiority that can go on, especially once you become a Dr or a Professor, it’s like a license to do what every you want and get away with it.
Danielle this sharing seems to me to be required reading for University Students and Lecturers alike! Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Yes Roslyn it would be great if we could have something like this in all University News letters and in fact in every news paper world wide. The reason this is not yet happening is because there is still a lack of willingness to truly take responsibility for our health and many people want to live a reckless and unhealthy life and find a quick fix.
University was exhausting for me because I had been exhausted for many years previously. I did not know how to look after myself with sensitive care and love for who I am. My training in life had mainly been about how to please others, and so this is what I brought with me and imposed upon myself and the subject I was learning. The responsibility for how exhausted I was during those years and all the years that followed is fully mine.
It is not so much university that is exhausting but the way we go about it when we are there. When I went to University, I thought it was stressful. But part of that stress was caused by my own lack of commitment, not only to study, but to life. Had I lived as I do know, university would have been a breeze.
I feel the same way about High School Adam.
It is interesting that if you go to university, compared to deciding not to keep studying at least, the message the world gets is, this person is committed to life, to the future, etc. It might be the case for some, but not for everyone. Some people choose their field of study because of some evolving reason. Others to construct a sophisticated hide-out. I was member of the latter’s club. The ironic thing was that even if my commitment to life was on extended holiday, I used to say: if you want to change the world you have to understand how it works first.
Very interesting comment Eduardo, and the common intellectual consciousness would have us believe that “understanding how the world works” would mean going to university, studying endlessly on many topics. I certainly used to believe this and my hunger for knowledge was great because I truly wanted to understand, but I didn’t want to understand that my thirst for knowledge was exhausting me and it was completely draining, I was not living who I Truly was. Now thanks to Universal Medicine I have ceased to hunger for such knowledge and began to reconnect to my innate knowing. This is far grander and more beautiful than anything my mind could think, it is a whole body KNOWING.
Well said Adam. Irresponsibility coupled with lack of commitment leads to all nighters and many other behaviours that are simply not necessary.
Reading this I feel inspired to welcome University with all that I’ve got this coming year. Not in a sense that I want to achieve achieve achieve, but to nominate everything I feel, and be aware of all of the loveless ness that takes place within this institution. Thank God for people like you Danielle that know that there is more to life then what we achieve in our minds and that our body is worth taking care of! If we get caught up in the spiral of university we are at the mercy of knowing only that which we are told, and never live our true intelligent or common sense that comes from our body.
University is a great opportunity to really explore and learn what is to honour yourself first or get smashed by the system.
I love your enthusiasm Harrison White. What a great inspiration you are for others to feel that University is great opportunity to set some really solid and life lasting foundations in deeply caring for and committing to your body first, no matter what.
Inspired by this Jane, especially that you did your PHD in ‘bite sized chunks” this would be great to accept and have a rhythm with every day.
Awesome Danielle! Another great example of the absolute benefit being true to yourself has not only for yourself, but for all those receiving the message.
Amazing the difference you were able to see so shortly after you claimed the way you look after yourself.
Yes Elodie it’s amazing the difference that is instantly reflected and inspired for others from the moment we begin to self care. It doesn’t take years and years of development and even just one self-caring choice has the power to change our lives and the lives of many others through reflection.
There is so much to appreciate in this blog Danielle, firstly how you have found your own way with the support of Universal Medicine teachings that supports your work to be full of vitality and purpose. Secondly that through developing and increasing your self-care and building more restorative sleep you still create the space in the morning to do the work you needed to do. I hear your call and inspiration for study at university to be a process that allows for the natural rhythms and cycles that we have as people.
Hear hear Jenny, the new way being about natural rhythms and cycles, teaching students at the beginning of a degree what these actually mean. Self care and behaviours that foster learning and development. A very different way of being.
It’s very easy to think that staying up a few extra hours is the best way to get something completed, but most times that leads to feeling very sluggish the next day – far simpler then to go to bed early and rise early and complete the project in a fresh state of mind.
What a great example you have been Danielle, not just to your students – and I am sure there was more than one you offered such sage advice to – but also to your fellow lecturers: and as you share so wisely “Maybe if more lecturers can begin to speak like this, things will start to change.” It sure feels like they already have and I have no doubt whatsoever that they will continue to do so, and that that well overdue change will gradually be welcomed by all.
‘How can we support uni students to live in a way that leaves them energised, vital, fit, strong, healthy and ready for work?’ Great question Danielle and love the examples you share about how you are inspiring others, students and colleagues, to reconsider their working patterns. The long-term health implications of the current patterns of behaviour for most students are simply not sustainable and the resulting mental health impact on everyone concerned should be making headlines with policy makers asking how to address this. This appears not to be a priority currently but we can all make a difference one person at a time reflecting the choices we are making and inspiring others to give it a go.
It feels like a complete setup Danielle, that part of the education is to allow and support people to abuse their bodies in completing their projects and reports and in that creating a way of life in disregard to the body and in glorification of the mind, a lifestyle that will be taken into the rest of working life that will build towards a life in continuous exhaustion. When we consider the fact that the basis for this unhealthy way of living is laid in our education systems, how intelligent are these systems then in truth in educating people when we consider the whole of our being that is more that just the mind.
If you know no different, and if you are not strong in having your own rhythm, all you can do is to adjust your life to the rhythm that Uni sets up for you. Problem is that you are on your own there to balance the abuse promoted by the rhythm and the acceptance of it in the name of a better future.
I left university after one year because I just couldn’t understand how it was set up, it was the most loveless place I had been in. I love what you wrote to your student that would have floored them – even though they were already on the floor!!
Loveless is the right word. Everything is loveless (classmates, relationships, rhythm of life, etc). The other word is reduction. Even if it feels as a moment of expansion (you increase your knowledge of your subject of choice), in truth you are reduced to the student from the being, and you align to the idea that to thrive in life you have to control a tiny bit so no one (or only few people) can really challenge you. It is a way of creating authority in the world based on what you mentally know. This is only the prelude to a life where you will walk in life based on that. You are what you are thanks to what you own.
So many students are drinking alcohol and taking drugs which is seen as normal. But why do they do this? What is the reason that so many young people are living a life without any care for themselves? We should have self-care as a standard subject at Universities.
It is amazing that this destructive way of life is the norm and something that everyone is almost expected to adhere to. We need more lectures like you Danielle, so that this old consciousness can be exposed for what it is and a new path that supports a healthy and vital body is forged becoming the new ‘norm’ for all.
Danielle a great topic of conversation, I haven’t experienced university myself but know of others who have and they all shared about cramming and staying up most of the night during exams and feeling really stressed and exhausted. Great that you highlight the importance of self care and more focus on the body as a way of truly supporting yourself through what can be quite testing and mind driven times.
I remember completing one year at University and didn’t get any of it. I felt very lost in the system and was not inspired to learn at all. University was something that was expected of you and at that time I did not know who i was let alone my expression and the subjects that would suit me. I feel most young people these days are not much different – living a life according to the expectations they have of themselves, and what others and society place on them. To know who we are and build a relationship with ourselves from young would certainly support choices that are true rather than what we think we should be doing.
I’m sure this is the case for many young people Marcia. Many of us just go through the motions of life without really knowing or feeling what is right for us. And Universities are so huge and very impersonal, it is so easy to feel lost. Yes if we had a good starting point of having a good relationship with ourselves in early life we would be in a good position to choose our path in life wisely and make the appropriate choices to let that evolve.
University is well known for their big parties and social events that always involve massive consumption of alcohol. The proliferation of the accessible nature of alcohol is concerning. It can be purchased almost anywhere now, even in health clubs, which is a huge contradiction. No wonder alcohol abuse is an issue and “they” wonder why its such a problem
When irresponsibility and financial incentives meet (selling alcohol is good business), then the mixture gets quite combustible and only large scale pain makes people reconsider their actions.
Danielle, such a great expose on a very important topic. What is currently happening is nothing short of self abuse. Our kids and young people are trashing themselves before they even begin working! It’s crazy, really it is, that we have an educational system at school and university that is so incredibly damaging for our young people. They go into the work place shattered, with habits already entrenched for dealing with their exhaustion.
Yes, so true Alexis, what I learnt from University was how to master self abuse and numbing, through drink, drugs, sugar, nicotine and caffine. When I started work I was an anxious mess in need of sugar and caffine hits to get me through the day. No wonder sick leave is so high in our society.
This is so needed within the larger concept of study, student life, assignments and deadlines,
How can we do this to our bodies? Extract so much out of them for years and hope to be vital at the end ? A new way is very much needed
What I have noticed that many ‘intellectuals’ are in massive disregard of their bodies, eating a lot of sugar, coffee, all nighters are normal as academics from what I can see with friends in this field. Though it is not really any different to the advertising marketing world that I was in where the deadline was king and your body a poor relative. Disregard of the body is so normal especially when we are trying to impress others in work etc.
You are so right Vanessa. This disregarding way does not belong exclusively to academics. I found the same in journalism. And years ago I watched my daughter nearly kill herself in the hospitality industry because if you don’t there was no hope of promotion. Staff were being used until they are empty and then cast aside when they broke down. An ugly system. Yet we always have the responsibility to say ‘no’ to such a consciousness and lead the way as Danielle has done.
Yes Lyndy the pressure to achieve is enormous, and the fight to keep your place creates a huge fear that can totally run your life if you let it. Taking the steps to detach oneself from the unsustainable treadmill can be challenging, but totally freeing.
Indeed Natasha, a new way is very much needed as what you learn at a young age will be lived throughout your whole life. Setting it up for a life ending in exhaustion and fatigue is not that intelligent at all, although we are still in the illusion that such a way of living is part of having a ‘successful life’.
Agree that a new way is needed but it is a tricky thing because none of the parties to this story are up to assuming responsibility (neither on the student side nor on the Uni one). Without this, there can be no new way.
Most of us exit the schooling system with no idea what vitality is, even in concept, let alone as an experience in our body!
Well, we can live this way right now, especially if we know how. To paraphrase a sticker “Live lovingly now, ask me how!” or “Get great uni results now, watch me how”.
Danielle- if I had known how to truly look after myself more lovingly whilst studying during Yr 12 and during nursing and midwifery I would have not suffered from chronic fatigue, insomnia, hypoglycaemia with a constant drive to do well, get good grades, be recognised etc, which self perpetuated this disregarding momentum leading to burn out.
Fantastic that you are now showing others that there is indeed another way- by selfcare, and listening to your body re its needs.
Wow Loretta your list of symptoms says it all, you don’t get away with this level of abuse even when we think we are there is so much that is accepted as normal, having colds for weeks and weeks, exhaustion, spots, aches, shoulders full of tension that people wouldn’t even clock these as symptoms of a body saying noooo. It seems we only stop when its got a diagnosable name ‘cancer’ etc.
This is quite revealing. With such a list of symptoms you go to the Uni health service and all you get are medications to cope and never a doctor saying to you. you are abusing your body. Stop. Even the Student Health Service is not truly interested in the student’s wellbeing.
Sometimes I am wondering whether we are behaving in a way that makes us collect a vast number of symptoms and even serious symptoms in order not to feel what is going on. If we are shocked at how university and health care training truly works, are you then using very hard numbing strategies to cope with what we feel and accept the resulting symptoms as the price for not feeling what is truly going on?
Danielle- your blog highlights how the education system doesn’t support the student’s health and wellbeing.
It’s only concerned about getting results, and high grades. What you present here is so important- that there is another way to study and get through uni or high school without disregarding the body. Hopefully more people will see this positive way of living and be inspired too.
It is really exposing the consciousness that champions what we do rather than who we are, something that will always be draining no matter which way you look at it.
Agree Loretta. There is another way and the fact is, it could not be a more efficient way of learning. The education system is so corrupt, that at the moment they can’t see the forest from the trees, but with more and more educators living and sharing their livingness like Danielle, the word will spread that there is another way!
So true Richard. Imparting wisdom from our own livingness holds the key to responsibility and honesty for our bodies and our way of being.
Self abuse is no laughing matter – brilliantly said Ariana.
Great blog Danielle highlighting the intensity that is created in university – as I read I could feel the up and down motion of study study cram cram , let go, come down and drop (from exhaustion) to start that process all over again. As you say it prepares you very poorly for a full working day let alone a week.
And to add to that Lee, when we are not aware of this pattern that we have set up for ourselves, as what is normal with ways of living that we ingrain in our systems through continuous repetition that then becomes a pattern, we take that with us into our lives and continue to do so in everything that we do and will undertake, resulting in a life living in exhaustion and not being vital.
Very true Marika. As a student myself, I know how encouraging it is to have a teacher that actually wants to support their students to grow as people, not just get good grades or hand in assessments on time. It is very obvious whether teachers care more about the grades, or the people themselves. I would love to be a pupil to someone like Danielle 🙂
Danielle, what awesome support you offered the student by not focusing on the outcome being based on getting the paper in on time but taking into consideration the well-being of the person, valuing the person over having them have the assignment in on time. It really is quite ridiculous when we think about it, putting our health at detriment to getting a Grade. There is definitely something wrong with this way of thinking and it is time it is turned on its head. Thank you Danielle for discussing such an important subject and bringing it to light.
Absolutely Donna every day I see where I put the needs of things before my own health and wellbeing and how ridiculous it is to do this. On our death bed we’re not going to be thinking ‘gee I’m glad I got high grades at 2nd year of uni’ or that I finished all of my assignments on time…. I’m not saying that we just all let go everything and don’t complete things at a high standard or on time, I’m just saying that there is a way where our health comes first, and taking care of ourselves and the rest is after this fact.
“How can we support uni students to live in a way that leaves them energised, vital, fit, strong, healthy and ready for work? How can universities support students to already have nurturing and supportive rhythms in place rather than the self-destructive pattern of late nights, lots of coffee and high caffeine over-sugared ‘energy’ drinks… and at weekends parties with plenty of alcohol and drugs to look forward to, all to try and relax to escape the mundane week?” These are all important question to ask and no longer accept the situation in Universities as normal. Great Danielle that you have shared with your colleges that there is another way to live to take care of yourself fist and not put any work or study as more important.
Great point Janina, the whole system needs a total restructure from the ground up, one that puts the students well being first and everything else second. This way we can support students to be amazing from day one in their careers with a flow on effect to all of us. It just makes sense.
Currently many of my friends are at University, and its interesting to hear their stories of drowning in school work, and feeling unable to go to a teacher because it would feel like a failure. Or trying to get ahead while they can, knowing that soon they will have almost no time to spare because of the work load. And this is totally normal – no one is at all worried by the level of stress and pressure and work that these young people are under, and have been for years as high school gets more and more intense. We are already beginning to see the effect this is having, with more seeking help for anxiety and depression than ever before.
Lets face it, the truth is it is totally out of control with many students using copious amounts of caffeine, drugs and alcohol just to cope. The issue is that this is all seen as perfectly normal, so everyone just carries on while these young people suffer and feel they are unable to ask for support.
On one side of the fence you have many students using copious amounts of caffeine, drugs and alcohol just to cope. On the other side of the fence, you have professors using copious amounts of caffeine, drugs and alcohol as a sign that ‘they have a great life.’ They reflect to each other and all together they agree that this is normal and ok. The change can only come from someone reflecting something different; showing that there is another way.
Well said Eduardo, everyone is in it together, and so who is going to stand up and say there is something wrong? So who will question a system if they are all in it and living it and championing it. However, as we can see in the rising dropout statistics, and the rising mental and physical health issues, eventually it will get to the point where the prestige of a degree does not outweigh the serious detriment to human health and well-being.
Not going to a teacher asking for help feels almost silly. There are many different ways to ask for help and support and it is quite possible to ask ‘silly’ questions and to still have excellent grades. If we do too many strategies that make our life more difficult like that, then our experience of even fairly simple matters like studying for a degree become very hard and difficult.
Ive never been to University but thanks for the insight Danielle, I found it quite interesting and the self care living tips can certainly be applied to everyone in any situation
You’re a billion percent right Joe, it equally applies to any profession what so ever, or even how we are in family and our home life.
Danielle, this is so needed, ‘A CALL FOR CHANGE TO SUPPORT STUDENTS AND UNI LIFE’. From what I see and hear and have experienced student life seems to be so harmful and unloving, this is not a good foundation for young people who are about to enter the workplace.
So true Rebecca, our precious young are not given a chance to shine as the amazing beings they are due to this faulty, archaic system.
The call for change will have to support both professors and students. Professors are as lost as students in terms of wellbeing.
Very true Eduardo, the professors are the students who have been there for 10, 20, 30 or even more years living those unhealthy and physically stressful ways. It may be hardest for them to see that there is another way after so many years, but it is possible!
Whilst I did not go to University I am now spending a lot of time at Universities working on projects and can see the stress and disregard for the body that goes on. Whilst the problems get solved on paper the bodies get neglected causing far more problems. Yet what I can really feel from your blog is when you say “If I had not spoken up about my caring rhythm my colleagues would have not experienced another way.”. To me this is everything, this shows us the absolute importance of speaking our truth, sharing what is true for us rather than “fitting in” as we will find that when we fit in it never helps anyone.
University education is now seen a ‘big’ business. It really isn’t about education, but this is an arguable point for some. The cost of educating at this level not only is in the vast exhaustion and stress to the body but also in the back pocket. So we come out at the end of a course feeling the need to start paying this huge debt off, another stress as one begins their working life.
Yes, great point to raise. It does seem to be more about being a business and being competitive between universities. The focus appears to be at this top end, and less so at the grass-root level of student self care
So well said Matthew. University education is no longer serving the people it is big business, all contracted out, Thatcher style (a side effect being that young lecturers find it hard to get a tenured job – they go from contract to contract so are always with the insecurity that they might not have a job next year). The whole idea of a nurturing and uplifting education is nowhere to be seen – as you say it is stressful (especially as most students have to work full-time) and the the debt at the end is a mountain that is hard to face – one starts their career in debt! thank heavens there are a few out there, like Danielle, who are beginning to show by example how to nurture and care for the whole human being.
Well said Lyndy, ‘thank heavens there are a few out there, like Danielle, who are beginning to show by example how to nurture and care for the whole human being.’ For this is sorely needed from early education to university level.
Intertwined amidst all this drive with intellect is the competition and I recall at Uni there was a stigma between arts, science, economics etc regarding was the better degree as well as within faculties for honours and then 1st class honours and looking down at graduates who chose not to do honours. Of course this goes hand in hand with competing with oneself at the expense of the body.
Reading your experience Simon and from what I can feel talking to people about studying at University is, competition is forced at every opportunity and angle. The pressure must become very intense and yet it seems that the greater majority of students through to Deans have swallowed the same belief, producing a mono-culture of qualified channeled thinking people, that once they survive the system they are shaped to respond in certain ways.
Free thinking often seems to equal drop-out of the system because there isn’t the space to evolve.
Yes, a competition between faculties but also a conviction that my faculty is better than your faculty. There are always good reasons to give for such thinking but it makes co-operation much harder and a lot of benefits come from disparate fields meeting and working together.
Great point Simon, it’s important to look at what allows such behaviours to be chosen, what is the driver for us to choose such ill or unloving behaviours. Competitions and comparison definitely plays a part and underneath all of this is the feeling of not being good enough, and constantly needing to prove self.
Teachers can have such an impact on us and can be remembered many years later and sometimes for the wrong reasons, but in this instance I am sure your wise words Danielle will have a long lasting effect, even when they have left University. This is what is needed for the future generations of workers.
I love how you say self abuse is no laughing matter. The consequences of self abuse can be catastrophic and yet as you say Ariana at times we do not even realise we are being abusive to ourselves.
The current way University is run I find to be completely un-inspiring, stressful and exhausting. Thanks for sharing your self care tips Danielle. This is essential when one is completing university as it is so easy to get lost in the whirlwind and swept up in the tornado of academic achievement, I would say 99% of people studying DO. This is no way to live and what kind of bodies and beings are we bringing to our places of work, where we will serve people for the rest of our lives? Its simply ridiculous that University is not teaching or even making people aware of this fact, its all knowledge that is pumped in like a machine. There is no care, respect or consideration of people as people what so ever.
So true Harrison – I’m back doing a research degree and see first-hand the pressure my colleagues are under, many of whom are half-way to roles in academia, and that of the academics themselves, who are immersed in this way of being to the degree it is quite normal to live and work in a constant stress state. But there are always consequences and it shows up in their lack of vitality and health issues. It’s not a way to live or work that anyone should emulate.
Put it this way – no one I see in academia looks as vital as the lovely lady in the photo accompanying this article!
Yes, Harrison, to focus solely on knowledge and ignore the person, the body and its wellbeing is not very intelligent indeed. The sooner universities recognise this the better, and it may be more likely then to produce well rounded, healthy graduates that are fit for work.
So true Harrison. Given that students in the UK rack up huge debts paying to go to university too nowadays, I simply do not understand why many choose to go, with a degree being by no means an assurance of a job. It seems many go to escape further, delve more into the party and social life, and less for the education. There is a deep irresponsibility here from all concerned as these people are actively hurting themselves and losing themselves to the shackles we enchain them in.
Harrison I could say the same thing about the whole of the education system from little ones who are 4 years old up. We pump them full of facts and treat learning like a converter belt machine without truly honouring, nurturing and caring deeply about the individual’s wellbeing. So by the time we get to university we are well into the whirlwind and tornado as you express. Imagine if the care Danielle applied to her students was the same care applied by all teachers to all their students we would end up with less stress and mental illness amongst our students as they reach the secondary phase into young adulthood.
Absolutely gorgeous Rachel. Totally nailed it. One thing that is contributing to this especially to children in younger grades is how they are spoken too, they are spoken to in a tone that says ” you don’t know anything, and I’m here to teach you so listen to me” when in fact this totally false because we are all born with an innate knowing of who we are and knowing of what is love and what is not, it is simply absurd that some teachers fall for this illusion (out of their own hurts might I add) and speak to children this way.
What was so pertinent in this post, is to observe foundations, and how crucial these are — that the way we are working professionally, is not working with current rates of exhaustion globally and rises in coffee, sugar and other stimulants. And that the foundation set for today, is naturally one that follows the same for tomorrow/next day/week/year…. Becoming aware of this foundation I have found through my profession, becomes real or attention-awakening typically when there is some sort of crisis, or loss, like a job loss, being fired, hospitalised or a family issue/illness. If foundations are spotted whilst at School before entering University, then there is great potential to prevent to onslaught of depression from exhaustion, and general malaise and laid-back attitude about entering the work force – and committing to life.
Absolutely agree Zofia, supporting children to develop solid foundations in terms of their health and well-being is absolutely key. Danielle’s article reminded me of the many all-nighters I pulled to get assignments completed at uni – it was not unusual for me to stay up to 4am or once even 8am! But when I reflected on this further, I remembered that this habit, of leaving things to the last minute and feeling like I could only complete an assignment when I had the pressure of a deadline, had started way back in highschool and it was not unusual for me to stay up until 12, 1 or even 3 am to get my essays completed.
I agree Hannah and Zofia, our foundation is our key to not allowing exhaustion to overrun our bodies. The deficiencies in our foundation soon become apparent if we are turning to stimulants, or relaxants, as we are evidently not able to support ourselves to live in our body, in our everyday 24 hour cycle. There are many reasons for this – either not sleeping or eating when truly needed, or taking on additional tasks that we cannot actually handle at the time. If we were taught from young how to build and honour a truly loving foundation then so much of the exhaustion we see would not be a problem.
Excellent post to read Danielle about the effects of university life and how this filters into work life. As a Recruiter/Careers professional, i see the impact of this very frequently which often can results in anxiety, depression leading to job fatigue or burnout. Which affects one’s career and financial status. It follows that university life sets the ground for working life, and that a work ethic that has love or deep care of oneself as the very minimal basis, is the one that can truly support an individual in their professional life.
‘One time at uni I worked in the office all night – after I had been working all day – to finish a report due the next day. I worked until 2am then went to sleep on the office floor, to be woken by the cleaner at 4am. It was something I laughed about with friends, and it was even seen as tough and committed.’ This sounds very familiar to me and I also remember being in this position on several occasions with friends helping to type completed work. I used to talk about it almost like a trophy I was proud of but looking back now I can feel just how harmful it was and is for the many, many students who do this and live the ‘university lifestyle’.
I agree Michael, living like that is so often seen as a trophy, something to laugh about and show your stamina. But I find it very very sad, that at such a young age people are living at such extremes just to get a degree, and then in the reality of life go out and work in a totally unrelated field.
Those moments when we know we have inspired someone, who then inspires another, are moments to truly appreciate ourselves and the divine plan.
I had that recently with a colleague who unbeknown to me had stopped eating gluten and cut out a lot of dairy all from a very short conversation we had had months earlier. Her confidence had increased due to her loss of weight and I had no idea that she had made the changes.
University seems to be all about the achievements of the mind. Some go to extraordinary lengths to produce what is always an imposed level of expected results and outcome. However it is quite possible in most cases, it is always at the expense of a persons physical and emotional well-being and most importantly missing the absolute key of quality – heart and soul. It’s my understanding that without heart and soul in what we do everyone is missing out on what we can truly bring.
This pattern of working is so damaging for our health our relationships and work life balance. This week there was an article talking about organisations that usually relied on uni degrees saying they were willing to take on students without a degree and train them internally as they felt that students were graduating over qualified but unprepared and not ready to work – unable to to show up on time and do full days, unable to to take directions and work in groups. Surely something is missing from our University education if these basic skills are not in place, and the students are exhausted and burnt out.
Yes Nicole, I always felt like studying and attaining skills of a certain job or position through working and being educated inside a company. It is something I feel is being done less and less yet it is a very simple and fun way to learn things. There is such a big difference between knowing things in your mind or living its truths.
That’s really true Nicole, I’ve heard many employers say this. The other sad part is, there just aren’t as many jobs as there are graduates either, and at the ‘higher levels’ too. Most PhD candidates will not find work on the basis of their hard-won degree. This is not helped by the fact that universities are first and foremost businesses rather than centres of learning… let alone true learning.
Nicole this is well said. If academic achievement in Universities is placed over and above basic skills, where as long as your assignment is done it doesn’t matter what quality you are in or how you relate to group work then we are on a very rocky road. If organisations are now choosing to train people themselves this says a lot about where we now stand with our graduates and what is missing from higher education.
It is the same with business. There was a discussion on the Financial Times whether to tell a long term employee that his weight is getting harmful to him. Most respondents had the strong opinion that this is none of the employer’s business. University and business are a reflection of what people want and at the moment it seems that the demand is to be irresponsible.
This is such an inspiring read Danielle. As it only takes one to say ‘no’ to the common practise of self neglect and to share that there is another way to be when constantly under pressure (pushing through and beyond the bodies natural rhythms) of being inundated with work/study whether at Uni, college, place of work or even in ones own home. That stop moment can only be claimed and chosen by ourselves with the realisation that work can be resumed as and when self nurturing has taken priority to then have a rested/energised body to complete deadlines/tasks. What an amazing shining light of inspiration you are to those around you.
This is a great blog showing the importance of self-care. I particularly like the observation, “Though I say ‘small changes’, this level of self-care is monumental in supporting health and vitality long term, which then supports clarity and purpose.” It is by consistently taking care of the little details day by day that a foundation of true health is established.
It’s so true Jonathan, even the smallest of change can have a massive response or outcome in the quality of our health or our life. The more we share this and live this on a daily basis the more everyone get’s inspired to feel they too can make the same change.
I loved the email response you sent to your student. I would have loved a response like that when I was at University.
Me too Debra, loved the reply, and what this shows is the education on self-care is required not just for eager students, but also for lecturers too, since in all honesty, when has any lecturer, or teaching professional ever spoken/emailed such words of truth or love – certainly not in my case, though clearly there are some out there like Danielle of course. We could also extend this to the professions of Management Consulting, or project work where many workers work flat out to complete client deliverables and end up smashed or ill at the end whilst on taking a holiday to recover. To have a boss or client reply similar words, would be a great step in effective employee personal development, or career development.
I agree Zofia and I often found that communicating if something was completely unrealistic with the facts of what time was needed to deliver a job was met with extensions and understanding. Often people just do what is asked because they want to impress and not be seen as a problem.
Working through the night to make a Uni deadline is something I did often. I also did the same thing when cramming for exams. I love the way you are inspiring others who you work with to be more self-loving. It only takes one person to make small changes, that then given others the permission to do the same for themselves. Of course we all have that permission already, but don’t often see it as a choice until someone else paves the way.
The interesting thing is that as students we never questioned these behaviours, we just did it and thought it was the norm and that we were the one who weren’t normal and needed to change to fit in. The long term consequences of such a little choice on our health and wellbeing is enormous.
I have never been to Uni, or had to live in such a way that sounds so tiresome. I could feel the viscous trap Uni holds over people and how this road doesn’t offer another way that would support people instead of exhaust them.
After reading your article Danielle I can feel it is considered ‘normal’ to drink, smoke, party, pull all nighters, leave assignments to the last minute – this was almost the expected way of living when i was at university, I can feel how this way of living is not supportive or loving and makes it hard to then enter the workplace. I love how you discouraged your students from pulling all nighters and instead encouraged them to look after themselves – this is so lovely and would support students hugely going through university.
Having read this blog a few times there are many layers and insights shared not just around university life but points to consider in all parts of life. I love the reply that was given to the student and learning to communicate in this way serves everyone. Thank you Danielle.
Absolutely Fiona and Julie, everyone has the ability to make such powerful and inspiring comments like this in every industry, because self-care is lacking in almost every profession and even in our families and home lives. Imagine the power of sharing this in family environment or with friends when we can see them pushing themselves.
I can relate to the late night assignments and studies. What you’ve shared Danielle will inspire students to choose another way, one that is honouring their health and their body. Working through all night is very harmful for our bodies and counterproductive too. By introducing to students that there is a more loving and supportive way to work can bring about better quality of work and can be life changing.
Yes Chan Ly, I wish someone had taught me the benefits of working (or studying) in the early mornings when I was back in high-school – it would have made such a difference to not only my final years at school, then Uni and also my working career.
What you have shared Danielle needs to be part of school and university curriculums to support graduates to step out into the world and careers with a foundation of knowing how to care for themselves and to be able to work hard without it negatively impacting on the body or reaching a point where they need ‘time out’ or leaving their area of work.
A very powerful article Danielle. I especially loved your comment to your student after they had pulled an all-nighter to submit their assignment. Very loving and supportive and offering a true way forward where we consider our health and our bodies no matter what we are doing.
An important point you make here – the fact that it is seen as ‘normal’ when students totally exhaust themselves in the pursuit of their studies. It doesn’t make sense and is a lousy foundation for their working lives.
Yes Gabriele, lousy indeed, inefficient and wasteful too on resources whether employer or healthcare system wise: the study ethic generates the working life ethic. If this ethic is without love, then the counter effects are clear.
Such a much needed conversation too, thank you for your contribution also Jane, as so many either having been in University or facing it, the notion of placing the care of our bodies throughout it, is rarely given the priority it requires.
Your response to the student, Danielle, was really caring and super supportive to let them know about the importance of self care whilst studying. To feel this level of care from a University lecturer opens up the possibility of them having a more positive relationship with their studies and university experience.
it is inspiring to read about the way you shared your working rhythm with your colleagues Danielle, their responses show that they could see how well this way of being works for you, the way we live speaks volumes.
Yes indeed, Leonne, we can all feel when someone is living in a way that honours their body and wellbeing, and what Danielle has shared is truly inspiring.
Danielle I feel this is a ground breaking article for all education- written so clearly from your body and the experiences you have had in the University system and the lack of support offered to students to bring any quality of physical wellbeing into their chosen study – a horrible ‘education’ really about how mind can override the body. Naturally we must support ourselves with self care, but ‘the educators’ are the ones in the position of power and so much could change in the whole attitude at university and flow through to the work place if the common response was similar to what you offered your student.
Thank you Danielle for a great blog, I loved the tender caring way you spoke to the student, a beautiful reflection of caring for our bodies, instead of the unhealthy practises of Uni life.
I agree Jill. It must have shocked the student as this is not the usual response or the message that is widely given at university.
Our expression of truth exposes what is not true by confirming what is true in that moment, and as such offers others the opportunity to explore and connect deeper to what is true for themselves.
Danielle you are without a doubt an inspiration in many ways. Your dedication to caring for the health and well-being for yourself, your body and others is clearly felt and a blessing to all who are met by you. It is so true that the more we speak up with what we know within ourselves from our experience is true, the more we offer the opportunity for others to consider exploring another way, a more honoring way to be and live for themselves. As with this we are also saying that it is not OK to abuse and treat our bodies in a love-less way, by bringing awareness and truth to what is actually going on through the choices being made.
Danielle how inspiring to share how one person sharing how they care for themselves can make a massive difference to many. Sometimes people just need to be shown another way in order for them to give permission to themselves to live that way.
When we sleep, we have the opportunity to rejuvenate, our immune system gets to work, cells build, our hormones balance, our brain and body is rested, we heal in so many ways. It is imperative for a healthy life to appreciate what sleep brings in terms of health and quality of life. I have known the night owl life and now the lark and I feel AMAZING getting to bed more early and waking more early. Self-care is an essential part of supporting education, work and life in general.
This is true Samantha, self care supports all parts of our lives.
Yes Samantha I am only now starting to realise the importance of getting a good nights sleep. The knock on effects are enormous, and I am also seeing that how I am during the day also affects how my sleep is. I now love going to bed at around 9pm and waking early.
Working productively is so often connected with pushing ourselves to exhaustion. When we observe this behaviour it really makes no sense. I used to leave my university essays to the last minute and stay up so late and end up with a something cobbled together, it was never of quality that it could have been if I had been caring for myself more deeply. I now get up early rather than stay up late to get writing and admin complete before I go on to other commitments in my day. I have more clarity and inspiration in the morning and I feel I have more energy throughout my day.
I love this blog, Danielle, it makes such sense to me. It is great how you write of how you inspired the group that you were working with to take more care of their bodies. Your willingness to share with them why you did not work late at night, but prefer to go to bed early and then wake up very early fresh and able to spend a number of hours before your work day officially started obviously resonated with them. Why not, it makes complete sense to me? The more that we are willing to share this sort of information with others in a general conversation, not trying to sell the information, or push in any way, then the more impact we can have in inspiring others to have a go at changing details in the way that they live. It gives them a great chance then to find out for themselves, give it a go, and see that it works for their body too. If mankind does not change its way in trashing their bodies, then they are heading for lots more health problems in the future.
I Love this Danielle. We really can underestimate the power that we all bring, that one person can make such a difference, just by honouring, respecting and looking after themselves. One person taking care of themselves, does not only service them but everyone else too. It’s beautiful to read this.
That’s right Shevon, I agree. This shows how our choices can also impact on others in an inspirational way.
So true Shevon, we greatly underestimate the power of our greatness.
I agree Shevon…it only takes one person to live in a self-loving, nurturing and honouring way for others to feel that its ok to also do the same, and be inspired to make self-loving choices too. We all know the love that is there but its like we have to have confirmation that its ok to be that love before we are willing to trust and go there ourselves.
A deeply inspiring blog Danielle, thank you for exposing the saddened truth of what is going on everywhere at Universities all over the world. It’s funny that gaining a degree at University is supposed to make us wiser, yet self-care is so often overlooked in this process when self-care is the foundation for true wisdom.
That’s very true Donna. One has to ask how intelligent is our intelligence when living in a way that is self-abusive is considered to the ‘norm’?
I would love a university where, when you start studying there, the first thing you learn is to always take care of your body first and speak about the consequences when we don’t. Would be great to get grades for that.
I agree Monika – learning to take care of your body first would be a great and valuable addition to a university or work orientation. Or even offered as a class (open to all say once a month) to support students in how to care for themselves and their bodies throughout the years and with challenges they face when studying at university.
I agree Monika. Great idea.
I love the example you shared, Danielle, where your colleague said: “Well, just be aware that the university is not paying for our health, so take care of this first”. You are so right, it only takes one person who makes different choices to start a huge ripple effect. The quality of the work you did together was different too, I bet.
I agree Doug. And we can reflect the same where-ever we are. I have observed that those who have lived a life of self negation and particularly women when encouraged to take care and put themselves first, are shocked and consider this to be selfish. It often takes time to receive and feel the wisdom of what is being offered.
True intent of university life seems to be to kill health, not so much education to serve humanity.
Very needed sharing Danielle, from somebody who has experience with the normal studying life. To support students in their rythm and teach them the consequences of a bad rythm is crucial in order to bring an understanding what true health is. Also for them to have a healthy foundation when starting worklife.
Universities should prepare the next generations to live a life of self-care, appreciation, confidence and what it means to have a relationship with yourself. Now students only get knowledge and the focus is mostly on the mind and about what you know. But what about the body? Why is there so little attention for the body?
What you have shared Danielle is so awesome in not only does it expose a way that is not working but you propose another way, one in which we honour our body first and make university a place that sets us up for the future rather than exhausts us. I love how through being truthful about your experiences you offered both your students and colleagues another way, one that allows you to have, be and live a fuller, healthier and more supportive life.
What you have shared is so relevant – the stress, pressure and exhaustion people experience at University is considered normal. One of my friends spend 12 straight hours on an assignment, not getting to bed until late the next morning. If only more lecturers and teachers where willing to put health and wellbeing of the students before the grades and hand in dates. And you’re completely right – nothing abut the structure of Uni or even lower education, is preparing people for work in the real world. It is setting our young people up to be exhausted and run down, sometimes given up and depressed, and this is before they even enter the world of work.
It’s like we need a three year ‘life degree’ after university to undo all of the bad patterns and behaviours that were taken on at university.
That wouldn’t be a bad idea – I know many teenagers and young adult crying out for a sort of education in life – from taxes and paper work to relationships and how to care for yourself.
Danielle, I love the response you gave to your student. This would have been a shock to them as it has become the norm to cram for deadlines. It’s wonderful that you offered a different reflection. This would have had a big impact.
Great point Rebecca. Danielle’s response was what we would currently call not ‘normal’. However in truth this is where we need to go to return to living in a more honoring way, our true normal way. Danielle offered her student to the opportunity to feel that there is another way that can be chosen to study one that honors the well-being of our body by honoring the well-being of her student first. This is a true learning of the life skills that will support any student body throughout their working life.
Absolutely Carola. This is true education!
It is an interesting insight, that one large company is starting to recruit from school, because many of the university graduates, (1) don’t have the skills needed (2) can’t work 9-5 and (3) a have big sense of entitlement. Yet, high school students are pushed in to feeling that unless they go to Uni they are failures.
It’s true Joel it’s like Universities are not preparing students for the workforce at all and are way off the mark with what is truly needed and most students need at least 12 months to recover physically and to develop the skills they actually need. Crazy.
It seems so clear that we do not prepapre young people for university or give them an understanding of the truth behind our current education system. It feels to me as though many are so relieved to have finished high school / sixth form etc and be out of school and home, that this and the build up of stress and having to meet expectation in this process fuels the escapist behaviour of drinking and partying at university which is already laid out before them when they arrive.
I would agree Richard and not just Universities but the education system as a whole. If we were taught the wisdom and understanding of life taken from the Way of the Livingness then the education system would be simple and easy. There would no cramming, exhaustion pulling one nighters and all the things that students and teachers abuse themselves with at present.
This is very true, Mary and maybe part of the issue is that many of the people don’t actually want to be there but are there out of pressure from parents or schools and a way to deal with this and not take responsibility for their lives is to live in this exhausting way?
“If I had not spoken up about my caring rhythm my colleagues would have not experienced another way.” There is a responsibility for each and everyone of us to speak up and share how we live with others, in a way that is clear and pure, no judgement, no expectation. When we do this, others are able to, and are given the space and freedom to, consider and even act upon another way. This is beautiful, and indeed how change beautifully occurs.
Danielle has given us a great piece about free will, because with her loving words towards the students and colleagues she presents that there is another way to live without imposing and dictating rules or expectations. I imagine that this clarity of thought allows her to not only not feel burdened by the choices of others, but also gives other people the freedom to feel inspired or not, such is their choice.
Maybe over time this will change now that the inspiration for change has been laid out. People are looking to healthier ways of living and perhaps if the students getting good grades are those who are getting enough quality sleep and looking after themselves first they will inspire others to do so also.
It’s true Kevin people are looking for healthier ways to live. Who truly does enjoy ‘pulling an all-nighter’ to have to pass an assignment or sit an exam. I remember my body was absolutely screaming when I forced it to do this. Yet there is a lack of true guidance of how another way is possible and so this is what becomes established as the way to get through things, with a push and drive as we override our bodies. There more we have a reflection that there is another far more honoring and supportive way the more we will be inspired to explore this for ourselves.
Danielle, how I would have loved you as my University lecturer when I was at Uni. Late nights never agreed with me, nor did alcohol but I ignored my body and pushed the late nights and succumb to alcohol. Questioning the quality we are in once we have our degrees is well over due. What are graduates of any degree truly bringing to the workforce?
Yes, Sally, the quality of what we bring to a job is determined by the life we are leading, and the sooner universities recognise this the better, so that they can help educate young people to bring out the best in themselves.
When I read this Janet Williams, “the quality of what we bring to a job is determined by the life we are leading,” the word that came to me was the ‘responsibility’, we all have in life and the illusion that what we do at home doesn’t impact on what do at work, and how we attempt to separate life, work and play etc. If we have a late night and we feel dehydrated the next day this has a big impact on our productivity, our mood and our willingness to connect and work with other people. This is a fact that I have lived myself and it is a responsibility to be aware that what we choose in life has an impact on all.
I agree Sally what is truly being brought to the workforce. It seems a very harsh way to the start of a working life – it’s no wonder people get burnt out quickly and give up. It never fails to amaze me how our junior doctors are expected to work all of the hours they do here in the UK, and are expected to be healthy at the same time – it just does not make sense being in the healthcare profession when the system is set up not to care of the carers.
Well said Richard. Wisdom is that which lives in the deep well of our hearts, able to be connected to always when we get rid of the obstacles that impede its flow. For too long we have forsaken these waters in lure of that which is offered externally. Thirsty for truth, we fill ourselves full of that which we are not, at great expense to that which we truly are. Knowledge is empty is first the cup is not filled from the deep well of wisdom within.
The pursuit of knowledge at the expense of everything else is like expanding a balloon that is inflating in an odd shape – not expanding everything equally and evenly in all parts of our life.
Johanne, what a lovely way to describe life and if we relate this to our bodies what shape are they taking?
Beautifully expressed, Johanne, I love that comment, it so paints a very understandable picture. Yes, a very uneven expansion, therefore very unstable.
What an awesome description, I chuckled..I could see this balloon and how disfigured it was and the alternative of course is balanced. A great way to relate to anything we over commit ourselves to, life is about balance and not giving ourselves only to one thing, we can evolve and express ourselves in many ways, be it studying for the violin or peeling a vegetable. All is the same, our intention is what is at the root of all activity and this is what will dedicate the quality of it.
This is awesome Johanne – I agree. It certainly leads to us existing in and sharing a deformed sense of reality.
Thank you for sharing your insight into University life Danielle. What you explain about the rude awakenings of committing to full-time work after university life makes sense. I have also read recently that employers have become disgruntled with graduates and their ill preparation for work – now it makes sense.
Yes, Shevon, the way that students are living their lives while they are at university is not building a foundation for their working life. They have built no proper routine that lets them fit into future life in the working force. But then, they are not given any guidance from university lecturers who often still live the lifestyle that they did when they were students. How great for that student who emailed her assignment to Danielle, that she had a lecturer like Danielle, who sent the student the message that she did, encouraging her to not work all night on assignments, but to have more regard for her body and her health. A very commonsense message to share with the student.
I was “ill prepared’ for working life after university, I remember considering going to pick apples in France…I did not want to feel even more trapped and controlled after not being fulfilled or truly inspired at university, it felt like more of the same…but not it. I live with more responsibility these days and more accountability for my choices and actions. It is true however that the 3 years I was at university was in no way preparation for working life. When I work now I prepare myself, I ensure I am rested and aware of what is involved and I absolutely know that it is a blessing to work with people everyday and I want to enjoy and connect with everyone I meet, not be grumpy, tired and overwhelmed, but appreciate these encounters. I used to view life, work and play as separate entities, they are not, since making life part of the same whole, I no longer separate them and I can feel how this has allowed a flow and a natural awareness of how vital it is to care for myself has developed.
Yes, full-time work is a lot more demanding but, because indolence is more difficult, it is actually more healthy than university life.
As it currently stands, everything in our entire education system is set up to keep us in perpetual drive; the endless anxiousness of pending deadlines, the nervous energy we expend to cope with this, the all night cramming, the copious amounts of caffeine we consume to keep up with a motion we have set in place that runs counter to our natural rhythm and so on and so on. But it does not have to be this way. Harmony is restored by honouring the natural cycles we live within and that also live within us. There is a way to be at one with the continual demands asked of us in our lives but it means stepping out of the false rhythm we have created and restoring that which flows naturally in and through us. This can be achieved by simple measures such as eating what is supportive of the body and not running counter to it, resting our bodies when they are tired so that they can rejuvenate, being committed to feeling all there is to feel without succumbing to the pull of emotions which leave us feeling drained and depleted, and understanding that we all know the truth of all things and that our education systems and subsequent professions should be used as a way for us to develop, explore and present our expression of these truths to the world. When our education systems honour, respect and nurture the expression of the truth we all hold deep within, we will be better able to create a way of living within our society that reflects all that we are, instead of all that we are not.
I absolutely agree with all you have shared here, Liane, it is time that the universities looked at this detail of the enormous pressures that are placed on students. There needs to be some effort made to have people available on site to help students form a routine in their lives for their study, help them build a foundation, in rhythm with their bodies, that will help them enormously with their studies and with their health. This will then set these students up for their future working lives, as well as keep them well, fit and productive during their university days
Thank you Liane, you have just outlined in a nutshell how to counter the pressures of education. You have clearly demonstrated how easlily we can step in and take the reins of responsibility and turn education around making it the asset that it should be.
This is a great sharing highlighting the disregard that can be easily chosen to get through uni. I love what you claimed and expressed to your colleagues and students… there is not doubt of the power of one person to instigate change in another through inspiration.
I love this Danielle, I have a lot of friends who are doing uni full time at the minute and one of them wrote on their social media page recently when they first started about having ‘freshers flu’ – feeling cold-like and completely run down after a week of partying during freshers week, but it was written almost like a brag, which most people don’t think twice about, or even celebrate it as some form of initiation into university life, or congratulate you on being ‘social’. When you take these behaviours out of the context of university it seems totally ridiculous and dangerous to health – something that would be seriously advised against by any health professional, but it is actually considered normal or a NECESSARY part of life!
Jessica if we back track slightly in Australia at the end of your secondary school years students go off to schoolies week. So the end of high school is a week of partying, drugs, alcohol and whatever else goes on and then the start of University is spent doing the same thing………. The sad thing I find with all of this is that this is all accepted as normal.
True, Jessica, what we celebrate as being normal or champion to be part of the whole set up to keep us going non-stop is crazy. Every university in the Netherlands starts their academic first year with a week of partying, alcohol and going to bed extremly late. When new students start they already have a huge backlog. Most students are constant tired and exhausted and don’t get out of this. We need more examples like Danielle for students to start making different choices.
Looking back at my own Uni days, I can’t believe I made it through without any serious health issues. But now that I think of it, there were many negative side effects, like using drugs and alcohol to deal with my excessive stress levels and pressure put on me by myself and others to perform well at school, using caffeine in massive quantities and pushing my way through projects with regular ‘all-nighters’ as Danielle has described, and a long-lasting pattern that was created where I always looked for recognition and acceptance based on what I did instead of who I am. But when people speak up just like Danielle did to her colleagues and show them there is a more self-loving way to work, this way can spread because people are actually dying for a better way due to their extreme exhaustion in living life like that.
Its also been my experience Danielle that I am far more alert and productive in the early morning than I am late at night. I would imagine this has always been the case but I probably didn’t feel that way at University as I was using sugar to prop me up in my studies. It is only more recently as I have changed to a sugar, gluten and dairy free diet that I have started to really notice how well I function early morning. Knowing this at University would have transformed the manner in which I got work done and would have made me far more productive and placed less stress and strain on my body.
I love what you have offered here Danielle. Before having the awareness of caring for our bodies and making choices to go to bed early and rise early – the all-nighters and studying continually without breaks have been glorified. Generating this discussion brings awareness and breaks unhealthy momentums that have been set-up and encouraged by Society through our Educational Systems. Time for change.
One thing I have learnt and experienced over the past few years is how much easier it is to produce work in the early hours of the morning after going to bed at 9.00 pm. If I try to do similar work late at night it is so much harder, takes longer and it is going against the body to expect it to produce when naturally it wants to be getting ready to sleep. How is it that the whole University culture is aligned to late nighters, which means having to be on stimulants to get through. It all seems counter productive, and your advice to the student to get an extension rather than push through, was a practical, sensible self loving suggestion. It’s incredible with all that knowledge a little more wisdom hasn’t been offered support the students as you did Danielle.
Danielle – How powerful it is when we express and share what we know supports the body from our lived experience. Claiming clearly that you were not prepared to get caught up in the ‘late night’ schedule that was considered normal in the University consciousness is awesome and thus others benefitted from realising there was (and is) another way to live with consideration of the body without compromising health or the quality of work.
“Post this conversation I observed small changes in my colleagues, such as no activity on the documents or emails past 9 or 10pm. Though I say ‘small changes’, this level of self-care is monumental in supporting health and vitality long term, which then supports clarity and purpose”.
Danielle, it is very powerful when we speak up and share from our own experience and it does effect those around us and even if only one person gets what we are talking about, when they later share it with another and another and it goes on, we all benefit from it, we all are able to learn from it if and when we are ready.
Living by example and not being afraid to tell people about another way, even if it is the complete opposite of how they do it and having no need for them to get it or change is a beautiful thing.
I know in the past I felt to not share how I live or how I do this or that and how early I go to bed as I was afraid that I would be labelled as odd or whatever but now can clearly see that yes it is different, but my oh my does it do wonders for the way I feel… so in fact, it is very worth sharing.
Responsibility for our health and well-being starts with us. We have a choice to plan our day / week / month – to allow ourselves the time to complete projects at Uni or work. We also have a choice to check-out, spend hours on social media or computer games and only complete tasks at the eleventh hour when our bodies are in overwhelm, adrenaline is high and we are forced to work all night to meet the deadline. We don’t need to be ‘super intelligent’ to feel the impact of this choice on our body.
A great blog Danielle in exposing how lack of self-care and ‘burning the candle at both ends’ is stressful on the wellbeing of the body and exhaustion becomes the acceptable as a way of life. I have realised from attending presentations by Serge Benhayon, Founder of Universal Medicine, this eventually leads to illness and disease further down the line if different choices are not made to nurture and care for ourselves in a responsible way.
I have not been to Uni so it is interesting the pressure and what people put themselves through to get the assignment done and get the grades.
I love the response that you wrote to a student. I think that alone, this letter in a Uni newsletter could have an amazing impact. It is as if many students are putting the study before their health and under that I see the lack of self worth that many do not have much understanding about.
I agree Rosie, just this letter alone could have an amazing impact on University students. But it also applies to everyone in the world of work too. Here we also place what we do over and above our health. Learning to take care of ourselves first and foremost is so important because lets face it we are the ones who have to deal with our illnesses, not the systems we work for.
Great to read your ‘before and after’ results Danielle, going from sleeping on the floor to inspiring others to appreciate their own responsibility for their well-being. It’s a very powerful truth your colleague shared “the university is not paying for our health, so take care of this first”. There are never benefits for working to the detriment of our own health, ultimately when our health diminishes the responsibility is all ours.
Change can start with one person as you have so strikingly shown Danielle. And big as this step is, in fact it does not take much, just the choice to do what we feel is right.
Very True Michael, “just the choice to do what we feel is right”. Spot on and it does not take much at all.
Absolutely Michael, makes me wonder why I would ever choose anything but what is simple!
Micheal this is very true, it is amazing how much difference one person’s choice can make, and others also feel and see the truth in that choice.
When we make life about lovingly supporting ourselves and make this our focus we know what is to be done. We commit to ourselves and in doing so we learn to trust.
Absolutely crucial point Danielle, “How can we support uni students to live in a way that leaves them energised, vital, fit, strong, healthy and ready for work?” What is clear if this was implemented and accepted, is our workforce, businesses and services being provided would be hugely different, more effective and with everyone enjoying the greater quality brought to any working day.
It is interesting how much we tend to place focus towards the grades, the top marks and the betterment of our lives on the outside by placing self care at the bottom of the list, yet the consequence is an enormous cost for both ourselves and the organisations like the university.
“I shared with the team that I prefer to stop work by 7 or 8pm, to have time to let go of the day and prepare for a deeply restful and nurturing sleep by 9pm. I then wake up extra early to work on the project in the morning before my normal work day, as I’m more alert at this time of day than at 10pm at night.” How great that you shared how you live with your colleagues – and that they too have been inspired by your rhythms of living and made small adjustments to their own life-styles.
It is really exhausting reading the circumstances under which some people do their exams and degrees. I did not wanted to study because the pressure felt from other students. I knew I would not want this pressure for myself. On the other hand I do know if I am interested into something I am very committed and will complete it. It is so important that we remind students that there is a other way going through uni just like you have written about it Danielle; with self care and much supporting choices during that time at uni. This is bringing a total new approach to this subject, thank you Danielle for bringing this up here.
It is so needed.
A very needed article and a topic that needs to be talked about. Here in Holland I read more and more about the pressure that students live with and that depression and burn out is more common than ever before. What is going on? We need to ask this question and sit down with them. We need to talk about self-care and that many choices that students make like drinking alcohol, taking drugs, partying and staying up late are not normal.
Danielle I absolutely agree, there needs to be a totally different way university students are encouraged to work, a way that supports them to learn what is needed but also to take super good care of themselves. Having spent 4 years at university I witnessed the total devastation working all nighters have on people’s health and how they feel day to day. I love that email reply you sent to your student – imagine if all lecturers cared that much for their students – that would really initiate true change!
Beautifully expressed Danielle. I love how you expose how damaging the seeming ‘freedom’ of University life is – I remember feeling constantly judged and exhausted at University, every assignment felt like a reflection of my self worth and even the highest grades left me feeling empty and frustrated with the way I worked. The fact that our Universities do not truly prepare us for the workforce is very telling, it is clear to see most education is purely a money making exercise (and I have spent the majority of my working life working in education).
Is University Exhausting Us For Life? This is such an amazing and needed question for everyone to ask.
Your email will have had a huge impact on that student and a ripple effect to many. There was nothing about self-care and how to look after ouselves when I was at university. It was a 7 day a week festival of how to be irresponsible with my body and my feelings. There was also an enormous amount of pressure from myself in response to exams and essays. I remember the many hours working on essays alone in libraries full of people, and then running from exhilirating hit to exhilirating hit between the working. I was exhausted before I had even started. It would be a very different picture now if I went back to university. I live near a university and see a lot of students. There are lot’s of students working in the shops that i go into. This blog has inspired me to take more time ask them how they are and how uni is going for them…
When the education system puts people before results that is when we know true change has occurred in this institution
More articles and blogs like yours need to be written.
I have to say one of the most boring overused sayings is when people say they are not a morning person. Have they ever tried it or are they just going along with what is meant to be cool or something. I quite often say to people who think they are under pressure and have to work till the early hours “why don’t you just go to bed early and get up to look at it with fresh eyes and a rested brain?” To which they reply, yep you guessed it ” I’m not a morning person “.Yawn yawn.
Great comment Kevin no yawning happening here 🙂
There is so much more to education than learning whatever subjects are on the curriculum and then again the way we approach this learning experience has a huge impact on our health, this is not commonly explored. Thank you Danielle for bringing this up.
Great point Doug… I’m not sure I ever heard ‘the bosses’ either at work or at Uni ever say ‘make sure you look after yourself while you are getting the work done’. No – its always the deadline that is the most important thing, to be achieved at all costs, including our health.
Its funny that its called a ‘deadline’ especially when our health is compromised to extremes in order to achieve results.
Great pun – and so true – how much ‘deadlining’ are we doing in our lives to the point of total exhaustion and depletion of our life force…
Lee now I had to laugh – we also call it “deadline” in Germany and I was always wondering why – now I know as if you are often working with deadlines your connection with your own body is dead in the end.
Great point Simon. At workplaces where I have worked it has all been about timings, deadlines, results and not failing. How beautiful to read your words. There definitely could be a more caring approach introduced, one that is respectful of our natural limits, our bodies and is about harmony and quality rather then success, achieving results or gaining money/more clients etc.
It’s about time love and self-care were introduced into Uni life. Never went there myself but heard loads of stories of all night studying and living on caffeine and nicotine, not to mention the animal like partying.
Great that you share this Danielle. I also cannot hold back how I feel ( in the same way that you have done with your colleagues) at my relatively new work place. In my case it is more about the relationships between people and the care that we all take over the shared responsibilities eg keeping the tea/lunch area clean and in order and tidying up after ourselves as we go. What we say and do does have a marked difference and this is something that we all celebrate as more harmony enters our sphere of life.
Yep, that was pretty much my experience of University… no preparation for the routine of working life ahead and far too much leeway to just do ‘whatever’. Of course I lapped up all the freedom and thought it was great fun, but would always get caught by deadlines which I’d then push push push to get done, leaving me wiped out for days afterwards. There is certainly a better way to prepare for life, and its criminal that the academic profession does not pay more attention to the lifestyle being promoted to Students.
Wow Danielle – you share here of a culture that is almost normal in education, and certainly can be looked upon as committed. When you shared the email you received from the student who had done the all nighter and emailed you, I could read between the lines the recognition that came with working in this way, as if they wanted confirmation this was OK – but your response was very loving, and breaks a pattern that many of us don’t think about. It is true that the education is not paying for our health or putting it first, and this is so vital to remember when studying. Even going back to school days I remember getting into the pattern of doing things last minute and staying up late. Where is our responsibility to our bodies to manage our time and not do things in a rush with pressure and stress. To start to change this culture would be an absolute gift.
This blog will be inspiring to many who are stuck in patterns that are seen as ‘normal’ and who have never considered that there might be another way.
It’s strange isn’t it that university students and the whole purpose of university are held regarded as being an entity of intelligence yet there seems to be a lack of commitment there to really look after the most important part player in the whole process of gaining intelligence and that is the human body. It seems like a lot of students might be ready to look at this and this blog is a great contribution for students seeing that there is another way, and perhaps they can even start to challenge the now ruling system.
As well as the hugely important subject you discuss here, Danielle, the point that also struck home for me was how by you sharing your rhythm, and demonstrating its benefits by your presence, the impact you had upon others in your team. How our lived example and not holding back to express does make a change.
This blog has brought back many memories of doing much the same. Sharing how the contact hours at university doesn’t equip you for the real world was great to read. Working long and full days full time is a shock to any system and is often the major cause for burnout in our young. This is a relevant and much needed blog to show the what we are seeing coming out of universities are not refresh faced and ready to face the world people entering the work force.
It seems ver obvious when you read all these comments and as you say nb if we are not fresh faved and vital coming into the work force then why are people not questioning this and changing it? Why are we not taught at Uni how to work 9am-5pm with purpose, commitment and dedication to our chosen profession?
I remember when I was at Uni studying nursing there was so much we weren’t taught, it was not about the skills of working as a nurse, it was how do you work in a profession where you are caring for people who are sick and dying, how you do your work with colleagues who are exhausted and burning out, how do you work all hours of the day and night without placing increased stress on your own body and relationships. Self Care needs to be a subject that is presented all the way through every course, so that we have new graduates who are ready to embrace their new professions and love what they do for a very long time.
Danielle, this is amazing to read, how one person can have an impact on those around them and that there are then ripple effects of this. By staying in your loving rythum and not going along with everyone else pulling the late nighters you showed another way and allowed your colleagues to realise that this way of working all night is not caring or loving for the body – what an amazing reflection for them to have, I love how you did not impose on them a different way of living, you simply honoured your rythum.
I would say, yes, university is exhausting us for life. However many uncaring behaviours and ways of approaching work and stress are already set in most peoples lives before this time. Children are not being shown or encouraged to know that the care they give themselves matters, so by the time they go to university they have already developed many hardened ways of being with themselves and each other.
And it doesn’t end with your sheepskin, shingle or what ever you call the piece of paper you are going to proudly frame and hang for all to see that you received as proof of your self-inflicted self-abuse! Doctors get to work god-awful hours a week as there welcome to work. University was just the warm-up for the real world. And on top of all of that, there is paying off the student loan! I love the seed you have planted with you colleagues Danielle. The longest journey always starts with the first step. Diploma
I have learnt from my own experiences and by listening to my body that my brain does not function the same way at night as in the morning and the quality of my work is reduced considerably .. I can get twice as much done in the morning as I can at night, there is no struggle and everything flows so it would make sense to work as you offered your colleagues Danielle, to get up early and work rather than stay up late and abuse the body. University students are working continually against the natural rhythms of the body and this is very stressful and exhausting..
What you write here Danielle should be put in the university packs and lived by the lecturers themselves because once the lecturers are aware of this they are then able to support the students to work in the same way.
Danielle that is awesome, what you are offering is another way, what you have shared is the culture of university life, leaving everyone depleted at the end. But if the lecturers start to change their rhythm, then at some point the students will to, it is just a matter of time.
Yes totally, it just takes one person and it’s a domino effect 🙂
Inspiring Danialle. University life sure can do with a change. I can attest to the current way and boy are the lecturers tired, the students are exhausted and you have touched on so much more here then meets the eye. There is a culture at university that is all about stress, last minute things, coffee on the run etc, and its just detrimental to peoples health. It’s a sign that University is more about achieving academically than taking care of your body.
This is what is needed within our Universities, more teachers who are willing to show that you don’t have to pull all nighter and that looking after yourself is the way to make it through what can be a very stressful time in our lives. In addition setting the scene for more healthier working practises.
Great blog Danielle. When written with such common sense it makes us question the whole system with the way things are, and are we currently setting up our young to fail? They may come out with the grades but what effect does university life have on one’s body?
Brilliant blog Danielle. There is so much to comment on but for now I feel to say that looking at simple facts it actually does not make sense to push ourselves for deadlines that were created by us or fellow members of humanity without considering the importance of our own health. It is really silly. I know the feeling of just for this time I will push through and get it done, but the reality is when I do it once, I will do it again. I love your tips of going to bed early and waking early and working then to finish an assignment. It makes sense to first get our needed rest and then work instead of exhausting ourselves in the night, having to catch up with sleep and then feel awful the next day.
The care and responsibility we have for ourselves and others is what stands out in your blog and the choices you have made Danielle, it is inspiring and very needed today. It does not take much to share your livingness, the self loving choices you have made and are working very well for you. Still we have to make a conscious choice to share how we live and reflect back to others that it all comes from knowing who we are, we deserve to deeply care for ourselves.
University is held up as the centre of learning but when it condones and expects students and the teaching staff to damage their health by working late into the night and keeping going with caffeine, sugar and other stimulants this is not true education. Students are learning that their body and health and wellbeing are less important than the material they are studying. Danielle you have shown that there is another way to live in honour of your body while working. A lesson for life.
Studying while working is very difficult if we study in the evening. Productivity is low, leisure activities beckon. Going to bed early, studying before 7am makes it quite easy. Preparing during semester breaks as much as possible is another ‘secret’ to being able to study.
I find this too Christoph. With school work it is much easier to get it done in the mornings when there are fewer distractions and I feel more awake, than in the evenings after a long day when I’m feeling tired and ‘leisure activities beckon’.
I remember on semester at University I was studying 4 units and had 4 3 hour exams over 5 days (before spending the next 2 days violently ill) – I handled this as best as I could at the time, but it was really hard to not give myself away to the deadline. I got to a point where I no longer feared failing I just didn’t want to fail and have to spend the money to do the course over again. When I push for a deadline I often let go of aspects of my rhythm that I have learnt are of equal importance such as exercising less, my personal grooming (I can just dag around when I study), the way I eat (whatever is quick and easy). The more I hold my rhythm leading up to an exam now the better I feel afterwards – I haven’t mastered how to not be affected by the pressure at all, but am on my way there.
That’s gotta be the most puzzling thing for us to get our heads around, how can it be that we let go of us taking care of ourselves to finish an exam, when that exam might even be about looking after our bodies, as in the topic of health and nutrition or if you study to be a health practitioner such as nurse or doctor.
I was studying recently too, and would very much mirror your experiences Abby. There was an intense pressure that I never altogether mastered, but the more I held a rhythm to my day and balanced the intense mental work with exercise, good food, regular sleep, the better I felt and to be honest, the better my performance was in the exams.
You have made a great point Abby, that it is us who allow the pressure, or in fact it is us who put the pressure on ourselves. So it is actually possible to do University without engaging in the destructive and abusive ways that it not only tolerates but pretty much encourages in students. When we choose self-care and self-love over the abuse of the system we are a breath of fresh air in the system to show what is possible.
As I read the blog and the comments, I was wondering if it is because the Uni students don’t take responsibility for their workload, leave everything to the last minute and then they have to do an all nighter to catch up or is it because the Uni is creating a work load that is impossible to achieve without pressure and all at the expense of the body or is it a combination of both. In which case, both the Uni and the students need to make some serious changes as it is clearly not working. Just of the thought of it puts me of Uni all together and makes me not want to even suggest it to my daughter.
It is definitely a combination of both Rosie. With my university study I have managed to place importance on myself first, making sure I am cared for, and that I feel a sense of vitality and Joy. It has taken me 2 years of my course to get to this with 1 year to go. I still feel a little anxious about the year coming up, but I know I am prepared as much as I can be. University itself presents its content in a rather cold and loveless way and places a lot of expectations on student. The mere fact that it is all about knowledge and not love is why it is challenging in the first pace. What I am finding more and more is to not attach to any lans of passing, finishing my degree in a certain time etc, but approaching each and every aspect truthfully and with my full commitment as it comes. I can feel what is ahead of me at University this year so it would be wise to be aware of that.
Thank you for sharing – it is so true that around exams or other deadlines it is so easy for everything to go out of the window that is not needed to pass the exam, however at the end of it we may have a pass mark, but we have wreaked ourselves, and in the long term it is our bodies that are most important.
I remember as a 16 year old not having a clue what I wanted to do with my life and feeling lost/confused/angry when school started to pushing us to make decisions about higher education. By 13, I already had experienced being brilliant at school work, yet feeling absolutely miserable. It felt impossible for me to say yes and go along with whatever was suggested as ‘good’ options to go after ‘good’ life. When we are not bringing up children to let them know who they are, it is just impossible for them to be making choices that would be truly loving and supportive for themselves in life. I knew what I was presented with was not true, but I didn’t know what then was true, either – so I have taken a very long detour. It might take ages to see the real changes happening in the education system, but it is always possible to change the way we live on an individual bases, and as Danielle so beautifully shared, there always is another way.
I share a similar experince of tryting to make choices of a degree to study, under the expectation that I should go to university but without knowing what I wanted to do. It’s vital that we start to truly support students to kno themselves in order that they can find true purpose in their choices of ‘higher’ education.
I agree – change in the whole education system will take a long time, but when we take personal responsibility for ourselves and how we are, that has a massive, not to be under-estimated effect on everyone around us.
Wow. If what is regarded as the highest form of education is not preparing its students for life, seriously, it needs to be investigated. From your sharing I can feel that the system is clearly not working, but we have to also admit that we have ridden with it for a very long time; we have bought into an idea of measuring one’s value according to their achievement – and this creates a system that is no longer on a speaking term with our beingness. What you are bringing and presenting to the students and your peers through the way you live is just amazing. Just stunning, Danielle. Thank you for sharing.
Imagine the true learning students could gain from their own bodies education and conversations? What you have shared here Danielle highlights the true value of living from the support and care we can show ourselves first, when we stop and listen to what our bodies share. This is truly inspiring for all students. Thank you.
Good point Kelly, the knowledge held within is extrordinary
University life is exhausting for the body presently because self-care is not a normal in our world, but it need not be, and with living examples of what you have shared Danielle, we are supporting this change in the world. It is the same in many industries that exhaustion is accepted as normal, in the media, fashion and academia fields where my day jobs lie, self-care is just as important a reflection to live as the actual work that is presented, for the outcome always carry the quality that it is done in. Our responsibility also lies in the expression and expansion of this communication when the reflection is accepted. Beautiful and thank you.
Yes Adele, you are right. Self-care is not normal in our world at the moment. This means that when young students start university they are nowhere prepared for the pressures that they face. They have had no grounding within their family in most cases of even thinking of self-care. It is great in this case that Danielle was able to share with the student who emailed her assignment after an all-night sitting finishing it that there was another way to complete her work, yet still look after her body and her health. We need more people willing to share this information out in the world, just by taking advantage of the opportunities we have to bring this out in ordinary conversations, with no pushing, but just sharing how we live and being role models for another way to live our lives. We can all make a difference just by living the way that we know works for us.
Danielle a great example of what happens when we stay true to our self and express to others choices we’re making that honour our body and health. Equally, the supportive way you communicated with your student is simple, loving and how it should be. What a huge difference it would make if other academics were able to respond to students in the same way.
I am currently involved in many discussions around university, working life and pregnancy and I am therefore hearing many stories about women who push themselves through exhaustion to complete their degree or studies. Some women have shared about the medical complications that impacted their decisions to be able to ‘keep going’ and another finished her practical placement only to have her caesarian booked for that same evening.
I’ve found it fascinating as the degree itself people just want to ‘get it done or over with’ and this highlights to me that there is not much joy at all in the actual process. We desperately need more role models in university supporting men and women to choose themselves and their own health to be even capable of bringing vitality and balance to the rest of their lives.
Thank you Danielle, as I am a full-time student and full-time worker I have experienced the pressures and balance between ‘getting it all done’ and actually taking care of yourself firstly and foremost. What I have discovered is that the more I lead a caring life for myself, my body and my rhythms and rituals (sleep very much included) the time that I do spend working or studying is of a higher quality and more natural harmony than I would have once never dreamed possible. Thank you for inspiring Another Way..
What you offered your student Danielle was true care and support from what you have lived. What a blessing I’m sure that would have been to receive. It wasn’t a way out but an opportunity to look at how they were living and studying with accountability and consideration of how it affects them.
It just shows Danielle, how important it is to honour how you feel to work, to honour your rhythm and not that of anyone else. It seems to me that it is not about slacking or not getting the work done because that would be just as much of a drain on your body, instead it is about working out how to care for yourself and to do so consistently so that you can wake early to work in such a way without depleting yourself.
I agree Lucy. It is vital that we look after ourselves and keep to a rhythm no matter how ‘extreme’ or overwhelming life/work can become, otherwise the quality of what we do will drop hugely. I have experienced this many times, and notice the gigantic difference in quality.
I love how you have gently and honestly taken a stand about the care of our body being uppermost in the process of our education Danielle. Any education that disregards the body cannot be a true education. As you have shown it only takes one person to express how they are caring for their body during any project for the seed of truth to be sown – even if we never get a confirmation for it . . but of course it is beautiful when we do! Thank you Danielle.
‘Any education that disregards the body cannot be a true education.’ So true Lyndy and current uni life demonstrates how far we have strayed from this and lost the knowing that how we are with ourselves whilst we are undertaking any activity is key and should never be to the detriment of the whole body. The reflection and inspiration that Danielle and others are able to share supports students and colleagues to recognise that there is another way and they have choices.
Very wise words Danielle. Having been through the Uni system myself I can attest to everything you have written. Furthermore, I have found workplaces to run in the same fashion where staff are not formally told to work long hours but the expectations is there nonetheless that the work will get done within certain timeframes (usually very short). The stress and pressure people feel under is enormous. I am working at being more creative in how I do my job so that I am not being constantly swept up in the tidal wave and your blog has left me considering how I can further my commitment to me and my health and then reflect that out to others. Thank you.
Thank you Danielle, for the inside of university life. This is true an something many experience. Exhaustion and lack of self-care. It is great that you are a role model for your colleagues and students. Starting to self-care and bring this into the work already starts in school and even Kindergarten. The awareness for this has to be taught from the very beginning and by leading example.
This article took me back to my student days, while I was never someone who pulled all nighters and was fairly organised yet I can relate to the stress and tension of University Life and see ways I could have cared for my health better. The measure of academic achievement is quite stressful in itself and I saw around me many who did not manage their time well. I would certainly agree that an emphasis should be put on self care and that there should be a module written into every University course, perhaps one that is repeated and developed every year of study.
Yes, great idea Stephen – there could be a module on self-care that was there for every student. It would be great if teachers ad lecturers themselves lived this way to bring even more to it (as Danielle has). There are the added factors that, for example, sometimes when a teenager leaves home there is a rebellion and pendulum swing that can come from having to ‘obey’ rules at home – like don’t party too late, must go to bed on time . . . . suddenly there is this ersatz freedom that is a very seductive call out there and it is easy to override the body’s communications. It will be great times when both parents and teachers of early childhood support and encourage a child’s natural clairsentience instead of stamping it out!
Danielle, you are truly inspiring and if anyone can change this consciousness you can!
I remember visiting my son at university about 4 years ago. the students were allowed to drink alcohol after 4.30pm. As I was walking to my son’s room I passed many students lining the passageways drinking and remember at the time feeling a sadness at how these gorgeous young people were checking out with alcohol on a regular basis and so early in the day. The first lecture of the year for students and lecturers could be on self care in the university environment !
It’s not surprising that students get exhausted when they come to university because they shift from the routine of school into a self-motivated situation without any grounding in self-discipline or time management. It’s crazy how we educate students in all these intellectual subjects but don’t say a word about commitment, time management and self-care. If these were part of the school curriculum, then students would be better prepared for University life.
Danielle, how great for a student to receive an email response that is not only understanding, without any sympathy, but one that also shows a possible way forward for them. “…one person, [who] by choosing differently may inspire many.” Danielle, you are one who inspires many.
What a wonderful insightful opportunity you gave to your working colleagues to align to by not holding back in expressing your responsibility of the care you were willing to take for yourself and were able to reflect to them, Danielle. “This can start with just one person, who by choosing differently may inspire many”
A great example of where it pays dividends to stick with what you know works for you – despite peer pressure – and in so doing, deliver the potential to inspire others to experiment and find a way of working that is more self-supporting of vitality and wellbeing.
Danielle, thank you, it certainly makes sense to look after our bodies before anything else as continued disregard of our bodies is eventually felt in more ways than one. IIt is no wonder the ‘health’ of the world is in crisis with illness and disease out of control and the resulting financial stress placed on governments and people.
The words ‘it really doesn’t have to be like this, ‘spring to mind as I think about how most of us have and still do approach university and studying. Thank you for sharing Danielle, that there is indeed another way.
Yes absolutely jane176 and more and more I’m seeing that this is relevant to all areas of life. Imagine if we went into every industry and every system and said “It really doesn’t have to be like this” and “let’s stop and make it first and foremost about our health, and find a way that it can be done without compromising this”. Universal Medicine was the first place to show me that there is another way. It’s like I was locked into a certain way of thinking, to not see any other possibility. Even for a few years after Serge was saying there’s another way I thought that Uni was just like this and couldn’t be any different, because that’s how University is. It takes a real inner-strength and foundation of making loving and self honouring choices to be able to see outside the box.
Yes Danielle, I too am seeing more and more that things don’t have to be a certain way because that is how it always has been or because we cannot see a way out. I am deeply inspired by your inner strength in supporting me to make the necessary changes in the farming industry which I am choosing to commit to more and more and to make it about self loving choices first and not about what needs to get done.
A CALL FOR CHANGE TO SUPPORT STUDENTS AND UNI LIFE – Feels vey much needed and this blog and others like it are showing what those changes are along with the huge benefits to the students themselves and their health!
Thank you Danielle, addressing the epidemic that exhaustion is in our society today as you have, and in choosing to be the beacon of Light you most certainly are, the ripple effect is palpable. Being the living example of a life lived responsibly in honour of the divinity we are from is a service unto all others.
And not just university – I am someone who leaves thing till the last minute and when I was running training courses I can remember many a night up till 3am finalising and binding handouts and then getting up at 7am to deliver a full day’s training. Looking back it was unfair on the participants to put so much pressure on myself – the me they got on the day was not necessarily fully functioning – just running on adrenaline. Nowadays 10.30 is a late bed time for me!
Carmel you have introduced something amazing here – the effect of us abusing our bodies has on other people. Yes our choices can have terrible effects on our own bodies – but how does this impact the people around us? Especially our family and friends and the people we live with, surely they are getting a much lesser version of us.
Danielle, i loved the response you sent back to the student, what a gift for her to receive and to know that there is another way to approach assignments and the permission to make her health a priority.
I so agree, and how awesome if all would embrace this way of supporting others in stressful situations. This blog ought to be a topic on university lecturers meetings…
Thank you Danielle, I can feel the huge importance of our rhythm and that we prepare for bed in the evening and make sure we do not activate ourselves as much – in order to have restfull sleep. I enjoy reading this and feeling this, it is time for me too to simplify my rhythm at evening and rest well before I go to bed. Looking forward feeling the effect on the rest of my day.
One can indeed inspire many Danielle, all we need is to dare to be the one, and watch what happens … as you have done.
Yes very true Jeannette, well done Danielle for the example you have set
Yes Danielle, what is so accepted by us that exhaustion is part of getting a degree, studying and doing university. But this is actually not ok. Not Ok as in, we should not accept this form of exhaustion to be our normal every day life and part of ‘study’ – because it truly breaks us down and takes us time (long time) to recover from it.. I mean no thing should be worth that.
So is it possible to make our university degrees based on a level our human body and being can handle, that is not so much based on our minds, but everything we got; soul, body etc.etc.
Let’s change the current for the good of our human body.
Interestingly I find that many people have the same level of exhaustion – people who do nothing but studying and people who study full-time, work part time and have children, yet the level of exhaustion may be quite similar. It is as if we organise our life to a static level of exhaustion, as if we are comfortable with that level of exhaustion and whenever we improve part of our life we do something to still end up with the same level of exhaustion. What is the benefit of this?
Your sharings echo my exact experiences with university and work life. The number of times I observed people staying up late and surviving on the sugar and caffeine rush or coffee and sugar fuelled energy drinks was astounding to say the least. I often thought that if there was any way to make money for sure in this world it would be to sell energy drinks because the consumer base is huge!
I remember working all night at college Danielle and sleeping standing on my feet travelling home on the train. Working in a design agency I have found this culture of pushing into the night remains. Reading your words, I can feel how this way of being just goes to mask the fact that our way of living in the day is not working or truly successful. We think by ‘pulling in’ this extra time we have completed what we need to do, but what we are truly in this world to learn and study is to honour our body and build loving quality. The world as whole is currently pulling an all-nighter avoiding the reality of how it chooses to spend its energy.
Sleeping whilst standing up! Wow, that goes to show just how exhausted we can become from pushing ourselves and not looking after our bodies. I agree that ‘pulling in the extra time’ to finish this that and the other has such devastating effects and is therefore not worth doing. It is much less straining on the body to create space at a time that isn’t 1am in the morning, more like in the extra minutes we have when we wake up or at lunch times to get things done if they need to be completed.
“This can start with just one person, who by choosing differently may inspire many.” How true this is. I have been inspired by others who have made such simple but profoundly supportive choices and my life has changed enormously as has yours Danielle. The simple changes you mention, over time, have a beneficial domino effect on ourselves and others which I can attest to in my own workplace and family life. It seems to me it is just common sense really in a world that has made struggle the way to ‘get by’ rather than living it with true vitality and joy.
What you describe Jeanette is the true joy of inspiration and role modelling without imposing on others.
When I started going to bed earlier than before and doing things a little differently like what I was eating and drinking (or not drinking I should say), I felt a bit embarrassed about talking about it, and also a little defensive thinking that it would make me stand out too much. But now that I am very comfortable in my routines and rhythms I do not shy away from talking about them at all, and even though I get reactions at times, I see people are often inspired by hearing about a way of living that goes against the grain, and that clearly gets results when they see how much more vital and young I look.
Yes, because your livingness, your lived experience may be stronger than any words you can use. The words then are the icing on the cake of the example of your livingness.
I love this blog Danielle. As someone who also teaches in a university I can really relate to what you are saying. I can see that most of my colleagues manage to get through the day with the help of black tea, coffee and sugar. In actual fact these are the only things that the company actually provides for us. So I bring in my own herbal non caffeine teas, but was inspired last week to ask if these could also be supplied for the staff so that there was another option for everyone. My first request was rejected, but afterwards I casually mentioning it to one of the bosses yesterday, who said they are going to look into it. It’s funny how the constant supply of coffee and chocolate and biscuits is acceptable, yet its not so simple when it comes to herbal teas.
‘Is University Exhausting Us For Life?’ Great question Danielle. As a student I never considered I was exhausted because I used so many things to keep me going, whether alcohol, loads of sweets or caffeine. There were plenty of late night parties and lots of cramming for exams at the last minute, when my medicine would be to have mega coffees and stay up all night. Take them away, then the truth would have been staring right at me.
Yes Jane, perhaps we would see a clear picture of how disjointed our University system is if we were to take away the props of caffeine and sugar that get so many through the process. It seems clear to me that our University system needs to focus more on the student and less on the result. The greatest learning is in sharing ideas and understandings of topics, I would advocate a learning system with less emphasis and pressure on the outcome and more focus on preparing students for the working environments through practical learning and open communication. There is no reason that University life need be a struggle and we need to address the fact that for many this is the case.
Well said Jane – most don’t spare enough time to consider, let alone feel exhausted – like an avalanche they are running from if they stop to long it will come crashing down on them
Reading your blog Danielle I am reminded that we each have moments in our day where we can bring our lived experience of what has not worked for us, to share with others. We have often been there too yet having made more self loving choices we can reflect there is another more harmonious way of living.
Thank you for sharing Danielle. At the moment my plans are to finish college and hopefully go to University to study Medicine, which will be a 5-6 year course. I’ve heard a lot about University being tough, and students getting super exhausted and ‘hammered’ after all-nighters and lots of deadlines.. So it is awesome to hear about your advice and suggested approach to University 🙂 I intend to try it out!
That’s great Susie that you are committed to bringing another way to University, as you will inspire many whilst you are in that system. It will also challenge the system if you step in there, claiming that your health and wellbeing is more important than high grades and really at the end of the day having a successful career. Imagine if every student went on strike and said that they would prefer their health over a so called top University Education or so called successful career. Which in truth can’t be top or successful if it’s based on work and intellectual output without the health of the body.
This is such an important message, and I feel what a great thing it is that I have this basis and understanding while studying, and can do it another way inspiring fellow students to do so as well.
Awesome Benkt – to be the point of Light by living your own supportive way of living will truly inspire others all around you.
Thank you Danielle, this is a great expose on how easy it is to fall into a rhythm that seems to be the norm but goes so against our well-being and health and how easy it is to make simple changes step by step and what an impact they have on our lives. And with each step of a new choice that is regarding and honouring of our body we build ourselves an ever growing foundation of deep care and love.
I agree Esther Andras it is very easy to find ourselves in a rhythm that is not our true rhythm before we know it, with out even realising that we have gone into it. It’s a great reminder that we have to always be feeling what is right for us and not just absorb ourselves into what people or groups are doing around us, including family.
“Well, just be aware that the university is not paying for our health, so take care of this first”. This is very true and something we always need to be aware of, not as a judgement but to understand the responsibility we have to deeply look after ourselves.
This is absolutely right Esther, the responsibility is for us to look after a self caring way to go through our life. It should be a No.1 rule to do, just like paying our tax – as a part of life.
This Uni lifestyle is revered in some strange way, almost a rite of passage But when we consider we are learning, but at the same time wiping ourselves out with massive disregard it doesn’t intellectually align. As you said Danielle you are seen as being committed or determined, worthy of a pat on the back. Crazy.
Matthew you share a great point here in the level of extreme disregard we are willing to fall into in order to keep up with others on the roller coaster of intellectual alignment. There is nothing “intelligent” about exhausting once self in a part time capacity to then “think’ that you will cope in a full time working role.
Indeed nb, what is depleting and exhausting in the part time capacity will just be repeated in the full time role unless the quality that we work in changes. When we consider the whole of our bodies not just what the brain wants to get through in order to achieve, we can work with way less effort and depletion.
It’s inspiring to read of the changes in those around you Danielle, once they realised there was another option and a different way of doing things in which the health and wellbeing were of equal consideration as the task at hand. It just shows how we can be following patterns of behavior even when these are to our own detriment.
Yes, Michael, it is amazing how open people are when we state the obvious – “taking care of ourselves is better than not taking care of ourselves” and when we live that obviousness.
Agreed Michael. The academics and professional staff at the university where I work are by and large very committed and self-sacrificing, but there is a huge amount of disregard for their own health and self-care and high rates of serious illness. It is powerful the effect of one person showing a different way, and empowering colleagues to put themselves and their own well-being into the picture.
Thanks Danielle, self care comes first!! And remember, “university is not paying for your health!” I love this one, it’s so to the point .
Agree, a very insightful piece of writing. For when does Uni become more important then ourselves? Of course we should perform Uni half asking, but from commitment and a vitality that only a truly well body can deliver.
From a young age we are taught or encouraged to make what we do more important than deeply loving ourselves and self caring. The beautiful thing is that it’s actually innate in us to care for ourselves and make this most important. These innate qualities reveal themselves the moment we stop taking on the beliefs and ideals of society.
I like that Danielle that: “These innate qualities reveal themselves the moment we stop taking on the beliefs and ideals of society.” So it is really worth it to get rid of such wrong beliefs and ideals – let us change the world – it seems to me that it is not so so difficult.
It just shows how backward our way of thinking is when we do not question trashing and thrashing our bodies, but expect to score highly on an exam or assignment.
Our brightness comes from our bodies – and the real test is learning to nurture the whole of us in life – and not to abuse or separate ourselves into parts to ‘get things done’.
Dear Danielle,
Just to understand that we have a part to play in our health and that what is termed normal, like working late and coffe and alcohol to get us through the day is not the only way to live, is huge for many. What you shared with your colleagues has allowed them to experience a different way.
Perfect timing, Danielle as many are about to embark on their academic year. University is supposed to set us up for a life where we can be of true service, not for a life of exhaustion.
I recall my Uni days and by third year had decided all nighters were not for me…I valued my rhythm and sleep too much because everything would be thrown out of whack by one all-nighter. Yet when I began teaching the year after, and report time came around, there I was again reaching for the coffee and pulling the all-nighter again. So it took a couple more years to again get my act together and now that I too, appreciate the teachings of Universal Medicine, I much prefer catching up on projects in the early morning as opposed to staying up late. Being in bed by 9pm after winding down from 7pm is a gorgeous rhythm to live.
I ask myself, why it takes sometimes so long until we wake up and admit, that something is not working in life. When I look back, I exhausted myself several times during my studies, but I had never changed something during all these years. I repeated the same ill behaviour over and over again and I didn’t look after my body. Only when I found Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I woke up and I realized, there is another way. I don’t have to exhaust myself, I can nurture myself every day and I make sure, that I don’t compromise with my body.
What a reply for a student to receive from you, beautifull. I am currently part time at Open University as well as doing a full time job, the academic world is new to me and sometimes I feel pressured over deadlines and writing an assignment (where to start, how to write it) but through Universal Medicine I have learnt that our health is more important than what we do. If we look after our health the quality of what we bring changes as well. I agree it should be made about our health first. As you say it is not only the students but also the teachers/lecturers living this life as well. As for not going to classes but watching them (or not) on line how does this help to set us up for committing to life?
“Is University exhausting us for life?””
YES
So true Harrison not only in the all nighters that students have learnt to study by but with the depletion of their kidney energy due to the financial pressure they put themselves under by leaving University with loans of around £30,000. So not only do they learn to push their body to extremes and use substances such as alcohol sugar caffeine and drugs to support them they also learn that it is ok to start your life with a huge debt that they may never pay off or leaves them in a constant anxiety of having to pay it off either way it is very depleting and draining and does nothing to teach the young student the value of money
I agree Harry – in the current form of how University is lived in society it is totally exhausting us and all the other aspects of life cop it too. I love what Danielle is presenting, in that yes, the was we are living is exhausting, (be it University or not in my books!) but there is another way, and that way is self-care.
IF we choose to engage in it in the way it is set up then yes University is exhausting us for life.. But we all have the opportunity to break free of the holds or ways of the University. It takes great inner-strength and self-love to not buy into the systems ways and to develop our own unwavering rhythms.
University and the pressure to succeed can suck you in if you’re not careful. Someone I know bought into the system, all eyes on the prize and neglected them self. Graduation came and the degree of neglect evident in her body (two stones heavier). Inspired by Universal Medicine blog articles and Unimed Living website, this person now taking responsibility for their health and learning that there is no circumstance where you forget yourself.
I have to say it is intense and every time when I come back to the university after a break I can feel how my behaviour changes almost beyond my control. I notice getting more agitated, anxious and have more difficulties with loving my family and partner. But I agree, yes it is possible to not go with that and let it go. I am learning this every day that by letting go more of my investments in studying and getting a high result, proving I can do it etc. and instead make my body and what it needs equally important as the good results on a test I can be free of the holds of the university.
Yes I feel this is it Lieke, letting go of any ideals or pictures we have associated with University, meaning high grades, long hours, boring or mundane. Instead we can make it interesting fun, and let completely go of grades and instead make it about truly nurturing and supporting ourselves all of the time, including when we are doing the work. If we are truly connecting to and nurturing ourselves then naturally the work will get done at a high standard, as a flow on from what we are choosing in all areas of our life.
Absolutely Danielle. We can’t continue to blame the system for it was people who created it in the first place. While knowing and being aware of how the system currently is – We can however take responsibility for our own self care and not be dictated or manipulated by the system. Slowly slowly with enough true reflections it may change.
I graduated …ahem….25 years ago. I was like a wrung-out dish rag at the end. I always joked(?) that I didn’t walk across the finishing line, I fell over it. That was how I started my first job, completely drained and weary wondering how I was going to work 5 days in that state. My solution was very simple: almond croissants and blocks of chocolate – BIG blocks of chocolate.
I have more energy today at 48 than I did back then. This to me is an indictment of university and its strong demands that make more of the mark than it does of the human being who receives it.
We are all so fortunate to have been inspired by Universal Medicine to see there is another way out of these self abusive and unloving behaviours developed at University. I don’t feel I would have found a way out from the years and years of destructive choices, because there was nobody out there inspiring anything different, so if it wasn’t for Universal Medicine I’d still be living the self destructive way. Rachel I’m sure you’ve saved thousands of dollars from no longer needing croissants and chocolate, and that your health is now on a totally different journey.
“Is University exhausting us for life?”” “YES”
Actually, Harrison, could it be “NO”? More precisely, “Is University letting us get away with an unloving, harmful, exhausting, indulgent lifestyle for far longer than other areas of life, so we have to deal with the consequences of these bad habits?” I would say “Yes” to that.
Our exhaustion comes from holding back the expression of our love. In this depleted state we then call on various artificial stimulants to afford us the energy we have so robbed ourselves of. Through the teachings presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I too am re-learning that self-love is the key to the bottomless well of love that lives within us always. When we embody this love, all the energy required to ‘get the job done’ is naturally there if we do not bring in our tools of sabotage.
Absolutely Liane, complication being one of those tools of sabotage.
Building a foundation of love in our body gives us a marker of how we can live and then we do not abuse our self as easily because this is felt as a disturbance in the body. If we do not have a marker of love then we often do not even realize that we are abusing our self.
Mary-Louise that is so true – without my marker of love I would still live like a maniac – ignoring my body with my will because I am able to do what ever I want.
Building a foundation of love in our body gives us a marker of how we can live and what we accept from the outside. It is a supportive and loving way to live.
Yes, Liane, we can get so much more done in a day when we are fuelled by love (rather than coffee and other stimulants) and with a joyful sense of purpose.
So true, Liane, if we do not use the self sabotage tool to push us hard, every job is possible to be done in self loving and self caring approach. This is exactly what I am facing at the moment and I do know that I have created the tight situation myself with unloving choices to myself and overriding the signs of my body.
It is a really, really big step to notice that our current situation is a result of our previous choices. Over time it will allow us to make different choices so that our situation is different. The key point is that we remember the outcome at the time we make the choices – the stronger our awareness of the outcome of our choices, the easier it becomes to make truer and more loving and caring choices.
‘Our exhaustion comes from holding back the expression of our love.’ To me this says it all Liane! I can vouch for just how exhausting this is and when we don’t hold back our love everything is taken care of. . .so what on earth have we got to lose besides a bit of comfort that is not so comfortable anyway?
Yes it’s amazing that the cause of our exhaustion is from not living the love of who we truly are.. It’s as if we are taught that being lazy, holding back and partying makes life easier to be in, deal with or tolerate. But the truth is living in such a way is very unnatural to who we truly are and is what is crushing us, exhausting us and depressing us.
Yes Danielle, that “being lazy, holding back and partying makes life easier to be in, deal with or tolerate.” is a big lie. When I hold back from doing something that I wanted to do because I have to have ‘me time’ or am tired, it more often than not exhausts me more than just doing it whilst taking care of myself.
Yes I agree Lieke and have experienced the same. Taking time out and having the so called ‘me time’ can sometimes be a distraction or a resistance to actually going to a deeper level of self care and tenderness in what we need to do.
So true Danielle, I am becoming more aware by the day that the more I commit to myself in all areas of my life the more energised and purposeful I feel. It a natural way of being as I choose to commit to life as opposed to distracting myself if I was to party, watch tv or indulge in some other activity to numb myself.
Beautifully said Liane, in exhaustion the love for ourselves can feel so so far away, yet with the first move toward it opens, as you say, ‘the bottomless well of love that lives within us’, and so too a new momentum emerges.
Yes, every moment we can choose anew – different choices different outcomes.
And there is no intelligence worth having without it coming from love.
Absolutely Kylie, when we allow ourselves to be impulsed by love and let this be the guiding intelligence then it is gauranted to be including the all in equalness.
This is true Liane. Our choices do rob us of the energy that is naturally and abundantly there for us to do whatever it is we have to do.
This comment is just what I need to read before going to sleep. I know this will support me as I wake tomorrow.
‘Our exhaustion comes from holding back the expression of our love.’ I notice there are moments in my day especially when I am doing the mundane jobs when I hold back the love for myself. The build up of these moments certainly do have an impact on me by the end of the day but it is a question of why do I allow myself to slip into this momentum. By becoming more aware of these moments is indeed the first step towards self-love and learning to appreciate every step is essential to building a foundation of self-love within my body.
The cycle of self-abuse we find ourselves caught up in only seems ‘normal’ if everyone else is doing it. It only takes one person to choose self-love to help break this momentum for others, by way of their reflection, and restore true normality – our ability to live the love that we are in all that we do.
So true Liane. It is so beautiful to see when we choose self-love the positive ripple affect it can have. I’ve seen this in my workplace where colleagues have been inspired by how I care for my body, and have then made loving changes in the way they are with their bodies, that are now inspiring other colleagues as well. A new true normal way forward.
Liane that is so true, it only seems normal if everyone else is doing it. I know when I was at university, and people would party late especial those who stayed on campus and they would say this normal life about university. I couldn’t really understand as I was just exhausted holding a job to pay for university and then attend the hours for lectures, I would be tired when I would get home strength into bed. They would say I was not normal.
Imagine a university life or a world where living love and self-care in all that we do was normal, and when someone made a self abusive or unloving choice everyone would stop dead in their tracks and say ‘what are you doing’, ‘what’s going on’, ‘this is not normal’. This is actually how life is meant to be.
So true Liane Mandalis – and great to bring the word ‘normality’ in too. What if living life without exhaustion or the need for stimulants was normal? Or living in a way that was open and knowing of the love we all equally are? Yet we’ve found ourselves in a very different situation where stress, destruction and achievement (to name but a few) are considered normal in society. Well I say, in the words of Heaven’s Joy ‘Let’s claim it back today, connect to the original way.’
This is so true and brings total understanding to this subject, An I do know Professors and teacher who are very inspiring in making studying fun and light. Studying does not have to be a hard burden, but can be done with joy and self care.
It truly is not ok that we treat ourselves as less than the love we are, as it is not for another, so by choosing to live responsibly in deep regard and care for ourselves the message this sends clearly says I am Love, as are you.
Yes, just one person LIVING it, not proselytizing or anything, just living it and being an example.
The ripple effect of our self-care and vitality is well worth observing in our workplaces and amongst our friends. For me it confirms we really are like fish in the sea and the actions of one affect everyone around us. It can be subtle but it is there. It’s a great reminder that everything is energy and therefore everything is because of energy.
Agreed Liane, one person does have the opportunity to inspire and change so much, choosing to live love for oneself and for others is the greatest gift we can give.
Liane I love you comment as I can agree through my own experience – since I chose to not eat sugar my colleagues started to say that they are eating too much sugar and now sometimes instead of bringing a cake for a celebration they choose to bring a fruit salad without sugar as the fruits are sugary enough . . .
I agree – currently normality is measured against the behaviour of the majority, not what is actually true or makes sense to do.
Ah the ‘norm’, how we can change the way we look and how we see things if we use the ‘norm’ as a starting point. As you are saying, don’t follow the norm but follow what you feel, no matter what the world is saying. To often I have walked away from things because it was clouded by the word normal. But what is normal? We all feel everything all the time and so it would be normal for us to follow what we feel and not follow the masses because we see a number of them doing the same thing. I agree Liane, “It only takes one person to choose self-love to help break this momentum for others, by way of their reflection, and restore true normality – our ability to live the love that we are in all that we do.”
High-five Danielle. I love that you are truthful with the people at university and not prepared to compromise your livingness and in so doing inspiring others to be more aware of their health and their bodies and showing them that there is another way of working that is more caring and nurturing for the body.
Yes absolutely, the truth and your livingness being offered to your colleagues feels very inspiring.
Yes Deborah I’ve only recently appreciated how scared I was in the past to speak up and say what I needed for me or say what I felt was true. Spending a few years developing a solid foundation of actually choosing what is true for me I was then able to have the confidence or footing to speak up. This feels relevant for all areas in our lives.
I agree Danielle. If we don’t have that solid foundation we’re then simply speaking knowledge coming from the mind without the embodiment of something that’s coming from a lived experience.
Danielle this is awesome and it makes complete sense to me. It is something that I am developing in trusting all the loving choices I have been making is exactly what I stand on to express what there is there to be expressed. I have always been scared of expressing what to say and the other persons reactions, that I keep it to myself and feel small and contracted. What gets held in stays in the body, so for true health it’s best to express. It’s the quality in how we express it that counts.
This is what teaching is really about – inspiring others to develop and deepen a lasting relationship with themselves. From that relationship, the knowledge learnt in any course, school or University can be applied to life in a way that is supportive of self and others, and not at ones expense.
This is true Kylie. It is well known what students are taught will be outdated probably before they get their first job, such is the pace of change these days. However each institution lists ‘graduate attributes’ that students will have. So fitness for life and work could be included in that list. So often the opposite is true, and graduates have a sense of entitlement as a reward for the ‘hard yards’ they have been through.
Hello Deborah and I agree. This appears to be very much a ‘norm’ cultural thing around Uni but as Danielle has shown times are changing. It maybe small at this point but what Danielle is offering would change the entire system as we currently see it. A Uni that doesn’t just pump you out with a full mind but equally supports you to take great care of your body, makes complete sense.
Danielle, I was deeply touched by your email response to a student who had pulled an all nighter to get their assignment into you. Wow…can you imagine if more university lecturers were able to support their students to this level. The change in our self-are routines would fundamentally change and this would ripple into the world of work, which again would change everything.
So true, Rachel. It brings responsibility for the care of self and back to where we all should take care for in life – with ripple effect out into the world.
Yes I agree Rachel Murtagh, it shows the power that we all individually have to bring great change. In fact it also highlights the responsibility we each hold, because if we just tolerate abuse and allow it in our lives then we are not only saying yes to abuse, but we are indirectly inspiring others to choose the same, and as strange as it sounds, we are also becoming an advocate of self-abuse in study and the workplace.
Highlights also why it is that this is not the common response from lecturers, as are they not too pulling, maybe not necessarily all-nighters, but pushing well beyond what their bodies are otherwise lovingly capable of?
Yes this is a good point Giselle, how are they are going to recognise the ills of studying round the clock when they are pushing themselves too or even doing the same thing. This way of studying will seem ‘normal’.
This would have stopped me in my tracks as a student. We all know it is not right to push ourselves and work like that; however, are used to being encouraged and rewarded for it. For such behaviour to be exposed so lovingly is an enormous relief and allows the student to surrender and realise ‘I don’t have to work like this’, ‘there is another way’.
Wow Danielle, that is pretty cool how you responded to that student, such care is not founding universities at the moment but that doesn’t stop the fact that changes can be made. Sitting here after reading this there is a sense that it is worth appreciating each little step we make, Thank you.
Yes, and how strong an impression it has on another when they notice each step that we have made and embodied into our livingness.
It feels like a great honour and very inspiring to have read your blog Danielle – the way that you have committed to your body and sensing it’s natural rhythm rather than allowing the world of academia to impose on you a way of living that goes against the natural flow of life. I agree that ‘This can start with just one person, who by choosing differently may inspire many’.
I also love the reply Danielle sent to her student, reminding her that it is not her expectation (and nor should it be for any teacher) to complete a workload or project at the expense to ones own health or wellbeing. Also reiterating that there is support available for time management concerns, as a lot of our resistance to study and projects comes from simply resisting our purpose there in the first place too. This is monumental and should be the motto for University studies the world over! Do we want our society built on people who truly love and care for their jobs the way that they do for themselves? Or full of people exhausted by life – Something for us all to ponder on.
Great points Cherise, I too love what Danielle shared with her students as it placed the responsibility back on them to consider the way in which they are working in a most loving and supportive way. I feel what Danielle presents here is a new foundation for both students and educators at University to bring the focus back to self-care and as you share, to create a society built upon people who love their jobs and not those ‘exhausted by life’.
Yes I agree Cherise and Jade, imagine a society that was built upon people who were not only loving their jobs but who were vital and energised in their day, life would be completely different.
It sure would Danielle. Perhaps we have to remove the comparison and competitiveness factors out of life, out of our eduction system. Perhaps we have to start celebrating each other’s expressions instead so as to get to the point where every one is feeling vital and enough for being themselves and doing what they are naturally impulsed to do.
What about the quality of work that would be done. The potential is huge!
Oh yes! Life would be completely different if every one was vital and fully engaged in the work they do. It is very hard to enjoy work when you are exhausted. It is something that could be instilled in us throughout our school years but currently the opposite is true, especially for the last years in High School and possibly even earlier.
I studied at university a couple of years ago doing a post graduate diploma in teaching, and it was one the of the most stressful years of my life. I am 36 now, so I was coming in a mature student, but when I did my first degree I was 18. During that time, I numbed myself to the stress by drinking, smoking and actually taking a very given up attitude to the studies, therefore when I came back to doing this diploma, I felt the stress that much more as I no longer did so many of those things to check out. The reason I did the diploma was because it was necessary, but I far from enjoyed it and felt so much of the course was about ticking boxes as opposed to real learning and education. Ironically I am now on the other end teaching at the University.
How amazing Eleanor Cooper that you can now inspire other students with your level of awareness and insight to make their teaching experience a different experience to what you had!
I just finished a Masters degree in statistics and I found that the way to deal with university is preparation ahead of time. This way you have reserves of time and when things get very stressful there is still time enough to get everything done. That made sure that I only had one time – before a two week overseas trip – where I needed to spend an entire day doing nothing but studying.
I agree Christoph, ‘preparation ahead of time’ is one way to support ourselves while we are studying. I always knew this but now putting it more into practice and it feels very supportive to do. I found I had to go through a little bit of resistance whilst rereading my classes after I had them but the loveliness that I feel in my body to commit to and take care of my study is worth it.
It is worth it, when we study in a way that cares for ourselves first, and not just getting a result or getting by. This should really be established in primary school so that we take this foundation into University. For so many, the ill patterns of stress and late nights begins in high school – well before University – it is a by product of all of our schooling up until that point.
Well what a massive opportunity you have Eleanor – to educate your students that perhaps there is a way to work and study that does not harm our health.
It seems you know first hand the impacts of studying and all the stress that comes with it. Sure there is a system, sure there is a process that might not be the most loving and supportive out there, but if we have the choice to use those situations in a way that does not stress us out, then that is a game changer in the education system.
What stood out in your comment for me was that it was necessary to get the diploma. I find feeling the purpose and true need for what I am doing is a way of dealing with the system of University that can be very stressful indeed. I would often react to the system and go into resistance as a way of rebellion to the system, yet what I did not realise then was that I was not only rebelling to the system, I was actually working against myself as well. Now I study to become a good practitioner in my field of work and to serve people with that by knowing what I need to know well instead of studying to please the system, get high grades etc. This is a totally different and not draining way of approaching studying.
Imagine how deeply beautiful our work then is. Coming it from a inspiration rather than a drive or justification. I am too inspired by this work of Serge Benhayon, The Way Of The Livingess that is now my religion. This has opened up a new pathway that life actually is fun, and super duper amazing once I am present within my body and do things (being it work, doing the dishes or sit on a chair). Thank God that I found the purpose back in my life. So Yes Lieke, very recognizable. I would have not been able to work without!
Thankyou for this great blog Danielle. I love your point – Re making life-style changes – “This can start with just one person, who by choosing differently may inspire many.” Very true in my experience.
I love this too sueq2012. ‘This can start with just one person, who by choosing differently may inspire many.” Lifestyle changes that once seemed onerous to me have been transformed into daily expressions of self care and love. This is now my new normal.
Sueq2012 yes I can see the relevance of one person choosing differently can inspire so many. This has been true in my experience working with adults who are studying and working full time. It can be done.
I have also noticed this in my workplaces. It can happen on all number of levels, a younger person being inspired by older role models, peers being inspired because of the choices one person is making and older people being inspired with the choices younger people make.
Yes Sally and what I find people are inspired by is the consistent steadiness of what the other is reflecting. That the way they are choosing is having a positive effect on that persons life.
This means, we have such a high responsibility as role models. How we live affects everybody else and we can show other people – there is another way to live, you don’t have to suffer or in indulge in drama.
Hello sueq2012 and I agree. It is important we hold true to what we are feeling and not following the general thinking of the day. If we keep allowing the ‘norm’ to be shifted then in time who knows where it will be. Even from the conversation that Danielle had with her student via email would be ground breaking. It may not be perfect or fit in with how others see it but if you truly feel it, then stay with it and wait for the world to bring the norm to you.
Awesome blog Danielle – what an inspiration you are! My body simply wouldn’t let me do an all nighter now so I don’t think I could even if I tried!
My body would be horrified too if I tried to complete an assignment like that, there would be all sorts of internal recriminations going on about having put myself in that situation. The consequences would be way beyond one night. But I am occasionally called out in the night for work and I have found a way to do this that doesn’t affect me in the same way. It takes even more dedication to my self care and to make this dedication my normal in order to support those times. It is, therefore, possible to do, but to not have a detrimental affect on your body it needs consistent loving attention to detail on your daily rhythm.
Growing up I had no true awareness about self care or how we can really truly support our day to day lives through rhythms, routines and … SELF-CARE. However, after attending Universal Medicine workshops, courses and presentations not only do I know the importance of this but have felt and seen how bringing this into place has changed my life massively. This should be taught for everyone, everywhere.
Yes Vicky I totally can relate and share the same experience. Not having any real understanding of what a true relationship with myself was and Self- Care. Imagine a world if every single one of us had this opportunity to understand and experience the extreme difference it has on us. The funny thing is we all know this deep down anyway to be true but ignore it.
A great point raised Natalie. “We all know this deep down to be true but ignore it”. How often do we ride over a situation that we know will harm us in the long run or not allow ourselves to feel the ease that we can live in each day if we chose it?
Well said Vicky. I too was totally unaware of the impact of not choosing to live in a rhthym or routine, in fact I would go as asfar as to say that I would do anything to not stick to a routine unless it was at school or further eduaction. But what if the imortance of Self-Care was taught in schools to primary age children and beyond, what an amazing difference this would make to the lives of these young children and consequently to the world we live in.
Amazingly self-care, something that comes so naturally to us when we listen to our bodies, does need to be taught and encouraged at school. At the moment it is just the norm to feel stressed and to study in a way that is in complete disregard of the body. It is like Danielle shared that it is almost cool to brag about how late you stayed up or how you managed to do an assignment at the last minute. We think we are cheating the system and getting away with it but our body cops all of this abuse.
I absolutely agree Toni, I too was shocked to find my son not long after starting school coming home with homework to do. I have noticed over the last three years since my three children have started school that homework and reading at home have increased considerably. Surely it makes so much sense to support our children’s well being from such a young age in our schools to help them with their learning all through their education? It certainly does make sense to me.
That is true – to be called up to do overnight work of whatever kind requires a firm and solid foundation of consistent self care so it doesn’t exhaust and deplete us. And sometimes that might mean to say no to these situations when we know that we just can’t do it without great expense to our body and health, no matter how good the pay might be.
I have found this too, having gone back to doing the occasional afternoon shift recently. I normally am in bed by 9 but often don’t get to sleep until 11pm after a shift. I actually find the way I care for myself all the time supports me to be able to work late.
This approach would make an awesome blog in itself Lucy… That it is indeed possible to step up the care in the situations that ask something more of us at times, and maintain a balance in which we are not harming ourselves. It turns the ‘all-nighter’, the drugs, the excessive caffeine and nervous tension completely on its head.
I agree Victoria, it would make an amazing blog! To know that by fully loving ourselves we are able to be so much more is changing my world.
Mine either Rachel! I’ve never been to Uni but started full-time work straight after school and could relate to pushing myself and working long hours to prove myself at work, often not eating or drinking water or giving myself a break to visit the washroom. All of this had a huge impact on my body, moods, relationships and work quality. If I have a very important work project to complete now and going into a pattern of pushing I feel my body or talk with one of my colleagues to come back to what is most important.
You raise a very important point Aimee, of how we are often seeking approval or recognition when we push ourselves beyond our natural limits.
Great point Jenny. That is the basis of the whole university system at the moment. Most of us think that getting a degree will be the answer, either to get a secure job, please our parents, be seen as ticking the right boxes, or to be able to say, “I’m studying medicine, law etc”. I used school and university very much for recognition, as a feedback system to say I was doing well and that I was good enough. I was like Pavlov’s dog, constantly waiting for the gold stars for my work. It is quite a downer not having this feedback when you leave uni – there is no one saying well done anymore. This leaves you looking for the next fix – marriage, kids, career…None of it leaving you feeling complete or enough just as you are.
That’s it exactly Fiona – if not at university, where else are we seeking ‘attainments’ for which negation of our bodies and wellbeing is accepted as ‘the norm’, so long as we tick the right boxes, and get the recognition we are seeking out of doing so.
No more than ‘trained animals’ indeed… when in fact we are so much more aware than this, and deserving of acknowledging how truly worthy we are of looking after ourselves way before getting brownie points from what we ‘do’…
This drive we can go into is all coming from a desperate need to be recognised and accepted. From such a young age we start to believe that we are not enough that it is all about what you do and achieved so there is no real confirmation or celebration that we are absolutely Everything you ever can imagine, which is more than plentiful.
Natalie this is so true, and we start to build our life on a foundation of recognition and acceptance with no awareness of how far this takes us away from who we truly are.
Natalie this is what I have experienced myself and observed in others. It then becomes deflating when the rewards (marks) are not great, and if subjects are failed, confidence completely lost.
Susan I too have observed this pattern in graduates, especially if they are working in the private sector where it can be expected of them.
Same for me Rachael. Although I couldn’t do this now, I do recall that period when I was studying where I did stay up well into the early hours of the morning to complete an assessment, and would not choose to go back and re-experience this, especially knowing what I know now about self-care and that I can complete all I need to do and more without having to run myself ragged.
I agree Rachael and Angela, when we connect to our body to work like this it feels horrible. I recall the few late or all nighters that I did I hated it so much and it took me a couple of days to recover. So after this there were two days where I wasn’t able to do solid or consistent work, so all in all it was actually a waste of time and put me backwards. The thing was at the time I thought I needed to be able to do this and the fact I found it hard was because I was ‘soft’ or that I needed to toughen up. The teachings of Universal Medicine were the very first organisation who said to me that this is not in fact normal, I don’t need to toughen up and instead it was actually self-abuse to behave in such a way. Thank god I know better know and I’m no longer trying to work beyond what my body can truly handle.
I’ve found the same is true for the current work I do now, as soon as there is the first sign of push my body lets me know, alerting me to pay extra attention to how I am in my body, how I’m asking it to move in that moment, heeding that call allows me to readjust rather than forging on ahead despite the warning.
This is beautiful Giselle, there’s nothing more empowering then making the change before the fact instead of having to recover after the fact. It takes a real commitment to stay present with our body to be able to catch this in time.
Giselle I have this to in my current job the demands and the pressure of doing what needs to be done. I have loved my body more and more alerting me with no your pushing. I have found that when I focus In the moment and enjoy me whilst doing what needs to done, then I don’t get caught up what the outcome has to be.
I truly appreciate what you’ve shared here Danielle and Giselle. We seem to be literally ‘educated’ to push our bodies in such a way as to set ourselves up for complications in our physical health and mental wellbeing. The culture of over-pushing oneself and the value given to doing so is so very strong.
I’ve found also, that what is needed to be done, can still be done, but without the drive and last minute over-stretching that is what exhausts us. I’m certainly not perfect in this, but can already well appreciate how much can actually ‘be done’ today, when I hold my own steadiness and stillness within. Without the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I would have had no idea that such a fundamental change in how I go about things was possible.
The amazing part is that it is so simple – finish the day by 6pm or 7pm, be in bed by 8pm-9pm, it is important to have some time winding down, and then get up between 2am and 4am and study. You will get so much more done.
Barristers have been working like this for a long time and they are in one of the most competitive professions that exist.
Great point – and even greater that there is a profession that has been following this rhythm all along; I didn’t know that.
I find it interesting that there is no book “The Barrister’s Lifestyle” – how members of an ultra-competitive profession had to adjust their rhythms to maximise their daily efficiency so they could provide peak quality during court hours.
Very interesting Christoph what you shared about the way Barristers work. I would never of thought of doing that when I was at uni. I was doing the complete opposite, going to bed around 2 am getting up late feeling exhausted. I just did what everyone else was doing and never thought that there could be a more productive and better way of working by incorporating quality sleep and a loving rhythm. Now, for almost 3 years I have been going to bed way before 9pm and waking up early feeling energised and ready to start the day.
And so many of us used coffee, or chocolate to make up for the shortfall in energy Chan. I recall cramming for exams until 1 or 2am the night before. What state of being did I imagine I would be in the next day? Those late night sessions had my nervous system completely fried.
The fact that I even passed amazes me today, as I was so affected by sleeplessness and the panic it created.
Yes, barristers work that way because they get exposed every day in court. If they are exhausted in court it is clearly visible to all parties and such barristers quickly lose their income. Hence they HAD to come up with a rhythm that works.
Sounds like a productive and healthy routine Christoph
Sounds and feels like medicine to me Christoph. I can feel I make myself sick when I continue to work late at night, or even for extended times during the day when I ignore my body. I love working in the early hours of the morning.
Working until late at night is very numbing. That can be useful if we don’t like what we are doing – it may be too exposing for us to work on what we don’t like when we are very open and sensitive early in the morning.
This is fascinating that barristers have a rhythm that supports the most productive and efficient way of working. Just another confirmation that I know already and have reeped the benefits from adjusting my rhythm and having this as my normal. My team at work are always commenting on they don’t know how I do all that I do and they only see half of it!
That is fascinating Christoph. I must talk to some barristers… Those I knew in my younger years when I worked for a law firm definitely pushed themselves hard. And then the solicitors I knew quite well, always complained of having no time for ‘living their life’. It would be great to see more blogs from those in these professions, and how they go about their daily routine and the workload.
I was the same Angela, I left every assignment I can recall to the last minute and stayed up late many nights and I wondered why I was feeling exhausted, stressed and wasn’t enjoying my studies. I didn’t know anything about self-care or self-nurture back then but now I would never do anything like that again as I can feel how exhausting and harmful it was to my body.
Yes I was like this too – lastminute.com master.
But what’s amazing is that as I have started to understand the importance of self care, I naturally don’t want to rush or stomp around or do things late at night. In fact I know that if I do things in such a way, it effects what I am doing and the quality of what I am doing, which has a knock on effect towards other people. So taking care of ourselves is actually a starting point to then take care of humanity and be a reflection that we don’t have to live in anxiousness and stress and rushing. And as a result our quality is much better for it. Everyone wins.
The ripple effects are actually huge, aren’t they Hannah. ‘Pushing it’ leaves us less – less able to be fully ourselves, and less capable of truly being there for others. Everyone suffers. It’s a horrible feeling when we are too tired to truly attend to a task, or meet someone who is there for us to connect with. If we taught these lessons in school, our world would be very different indeed.
It is crazy how we put things as more important than our health. Why is it when things get a bit busy or stressful our health is the first thing to go out of the window!!!!!!!! This makes no sense at all, yet we do it the whole time. Universal Medicine is a blessing in truly bringing self-love and self-care to the fore for humanity.
Absolutely right, Vicky. It doesn’t make sense that self care is the first thing to go and during stressful or busy times is the time when the attention to support ourself needs turning up!
Yes Vicky it is truly incredible and extraordinary how Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are solely dedicated to supporting, present such key ways we can look after ourselves in the truest possible way. Bringing Love and Truth in all that we do.
Good question Vicky. I still fall for this at times, and it never serves. I have come to realise that only by building a good self-care foundation and rhythm into my life can I be most productive, but it is a work in progress.
I agree Vicky it is such an ingrained behaviour to place every thing outside of us as more important than caring for our body yet we are the first to complain when we get ill! Being open and willing to take responsibility for our bodies and therefore our health is key.
Me neither. I am struggling at 9.06pm ;-). Time for bed.
I agree Rachel, ‘My body simply wouldn’t let me do an all nighter now so I don’t think I could even if I tried!’ My body gives me very strong messages after about 9.30 pm that it’s time for bed, I start to feel really tired and feel a tension in my body, so staying up all night would just not be possible, it feels much more loving to wake early and work then which is what I often do, I feel fresh, energised and clear in the morning and enjoy working in the quiet and stillness of this time of day.
So true Rebecca, the beauty and stillness in the mornings is so wonderful to work within and honour.
Natasha your comment has inspired me to deeply appreciate and honour the early mornings. They are indeed wonderful. To have a lie in is now a thing of the past as I prepare myself for starting the day in the quiet, tranquil and stillness that supports me enormously to carry out my day.
I agree, the morning is an excellent time to work. As you say, after a good sleep we are awake and fresh to do the work ahead of us. I also get strong messages from my body in the evening, when I don’t wind down and prepare myself for sleep.
Yes me too Rebecca. There is no way I could stay up and do an ‘all nighter’ anymore, although I used to do it on occasion, and stay up until the small hours frequently to get work finished. But now I love going to bed early and getting up earlier. There is something very magical and still about the early morning hours after you have slept. There is a flow that is not there late at night.
I have noticed that Sandra, there is a flow that is there in the early hours but not late at night. It’s a choice that our body confirms it loves early nights and if we choose a late night the body lets us know ….the message is quite simple really.
I love going to bed by 9pm and I also love the early mornings; they are such a beautiful time of the day. I have come to realise that it is the quality of my sleep that counts and not the number of hours.
The last time I stayed awake all night was when my daughter was born and it just felt so very weird but the body did what it had to do without any unnatural stimulants. I used to think nothing of staying up all night partying and thinking I was having a good time but now I love the quality sleep I get so very much and couldn’t think of anything worse than staying up all night through choice.
I agree so much, there is nothing better than a deep rejuvenated sleep at the end of the day, not as a head hit the pillow exhaustion kind of way but as a nurturing, gentle honouring of the day had and the beautiful sleep that awaits within the night … So divine.
I love how you describe your preperation for sleep Natasha. It feels so nurutring and is deeply inspiring, thank you.
The most recent time I have stayed up all night was on a long haul flight, but I found that was supported really well by eating light and resting as much as I could. It showed me that my need for sugar to get through such situation was completely false. Using sugar at Uni would have had a very detrimental effect on the quality of work I produced and made me wonder how much different it would be were I to approach it now from a more self caring manner where I made rest and quality nutrition the number one factor.
I too had to stay up late recently due to a cancelled flight. The next available flight was scheduled to leave at 11.30pm and arriving at my destination at 2am, which meant I arrived at home at 3am. Not my usual preferred flying time at all. I found that by resting deeply, even as I was moving in and out of airports, allowed me to get home, and even rest for a short period of time before going to work for the day. I went to bed early that evening and was shown that even when things don’t work out as first planned that we have a choice not to let things affect us.
I agree Kevin, ‘I love the quality of sleep I get so very much and couldn’t think of anything worse than staying up all night through choice’, I love going to bed early, and this is my constant, the one thing that I will not compromise as it supports me hugely and like you Kevin I love the quality of my sleep, no deadline or party could tempt me to stay up late now.
Hello Kevin and yes I agree. As you are saying when there is a valid reason in our perception then we can do things we normally wouldn’t. So to you your daughter being born was valid and as Danielle is saying others see the same thing with their assignments for Uni etc. As you are saying what we need to see is how this effects us and quality everything including sleep is a big part of life, possibly the part. So if we are weary and fatigued what is the quality of the end product of that?, not the best but we will get it done. The ‘get it done’ attitude to life will need to be looked at because as soon as you get one done there is another waiting, so you are never really done. It would be best to dedicate to the quality, that way when you are done you don’t fall in a heap or even miss a beat and you are ready for what’s next.
That’s a great point Raymond Karam, ‘ get it done ‘ attitude seems to invite more of the same, we are agreeing to that pressure being our way, as apposed to choosing the ‘quality ‘ in everything we live and do being our way. Then we have that ‘quality’ as our foundation, it supports and changes the way in which we experience our lives.
Great point Kevin. After several years of establishing such consistent sleep patterns, I would not by choice like to disrupt them either (and I remember the ‘all nighter’ partying of my younger years – I would feel shocking for a few days following). If something then does ask for a late night today such as a late plane flight, I find that everything can be adjusted around this – allowing more space to rest the following day, allowing my body to drop into a deeply rested state during the flight and ensuring then that I stay simply very steady when arriving at my destination, etc. When the ‘usual rhythms’ of the day are so consistent, it’s actually quite easy to adjust and feel what’s needed if something ‘out of the norm’ occurs. A very different lifestyle indeed from the self-punishing one I once knew, and so deeply worth it.
My body would definitely not let me do an all nighter.
I agree Rachael, trying to put my body through what I used to just wouldn’t work. I know that is definitely how I used to operate, pushing myself, not caring what I did to my body, how emotional I would get or could get from lack of sleep. I have a very different way of life now, thank goodness.
No way Rachael. After applying going to bed by 9pm has totally changed my rhythm. I stayed up late in the activity of watching tv mostly. It was not too late but because of the stimulation I did not sleep straight away and I would sleep in. It took a long time to crack this and wake up early. Waking up early now is a joy to get a lot of work done before you start the actual day. The earlier I can make it too bed the better I feel in the morning.
Ahahah, Rachael that is for me the same – no all nighter possible as I am waking up between 2am and 3am. What I can offer now is an all early morninger.
Hello Rachael and that is possible. It is amazing what we will put ourselves through when we have an outcome in mind. What supports more is a moment by moment approach to any situation or part of life. If we have an outcome or picture in mind we are much more likely to find ourselves doing things we may not normally do. I am not saying you don’t plan ahead but be aware at any point how things are going and what is reflecting around you, be flexible to how you are feeling.
Thank you, Danielle, you are certainly offering another way to those you encounter through your work. I love your clear and loving feedback to the student about their wellbeing, and you never know how that exchange will influence their choices further down the track.
I too felt how loving this feedback to the student was. I was a real mess at Uni – each year I got progressively more unwell and that was with a year off in between the academic years. But to have felt what Danielle presented would have stopped me in my tracks. Deeply power-full.
Whether or not I would have changed or asked for more information, or even reacted because here was someone showing me that what was being asked was possible if done in a loving way and I was far from love is a different thing. But I would have felt the choice to be loving was possible even though all around me people were disregarding of themselves and others, couldn’t have escaped me. Livingness speaks volumes.
I was a mess too Karin, and so much of a mess I kept going without a break. Breaking point? I passed it many times. Then I went back to do a PhD. That was when I came to the brink of a nervous breakdown. No one noticed that I was like a dead woman at the time, or if they did notice, said nothing. We are not responsible for the choices other people make, but we are responsible to say what we see when another person is struggling and going down in their life. That is what love is.
Well said Rachel, in my study time I had become very good at hiding the truth of where I was myself. I was a mess but no-one would be able to tell on the outside. I did not even dare to recognise it for myself and simply ploughing forth was the best way to ignore it. And all others did this as well so we collectively were saying it is’ ok to be a mess’ instead of taking responsibility for the quality of our life and reflecting this to others.
This is such an important point Carolien. The level to which we observe and yet condone by our silence what we witness around us is one of the greatest contributors to the mess we find ourselves – and our bodies and wellbeing – in. There are so many facets of life where we collectively say ‘it’s ok to be a mess’… all due to the ideals we collectively chase and ‘prize’, ideals that deserve one enormous shake-up.
Surely the rates of illness and disease, inclusive of mental illness, are the shake-up we need? And yet, we soldier on, only hurting ourselves the more… Until, we choose another way based upon truly loving and caring for ourselves, and the true understanding of the ramifications this brings not only to ourselves, but to all.
All the more reason to appreciate and ‘bring on’ the embracing of self-care at every level, when one does reach a breaking point and the realisation that the way we’ve pushed ourselves can no longer continue. There is no shame in reaching such a point, for the changes available for us to embrace can support not only ourselves, but many, many others in time.
Universal Medicine Therapies offer a tremendous support during such a process, to address the patterns of self-negation at their very root, that we may once again restore love, and a loving way in life, to the equation.
Yes the enormous impact of just going along with what everyone is doing even if we feel deeply inside that it is actually not how we would like to live is underestimated in the world today. This is huge! We perpetuate a way of living we do not like by not stepping out of it because we see nobody else do that, and others are thinking the same… a whole set up!
Is there comfort in going to and past the edge of a nervous breakdown? There must be a benefit, otherwise why do it?
Yes Christoph, for me there was a total abdication of responsibility – a wail-some cry to be rescued, yet attacking anyone who insinuated I was inept. A cleverly created no-win situation that allowed me to blame the world and not accept what I truly yearned for (being love) only I could choose for myself.
And that is were brotherhood is about.. We are here to support us and each other, not abandon one of the two (or both two)! Rachel you are spot on, we can break the cycle, but this must come from our own willingness to stop, but the support we can get if we open ourselves up to love and people.
This is an interesting point you have raised here Rachel about responsible expression and communication with eachother.
Well said Rachel. ‘Standing by silent’ contributes to the problem. The question is, what holds us back? In the pursuit of higher education and indeed many attainments in life (whether they be career-based, achievements, family…) we clearly have placed a collective value upon things which do not at all honour the beings that we are, and the self-care and life-balance required to live in a truly vital and sustainable way. Accolades and results come before people in so many areas – and hence, we no doubt see the damage being done – to people – and condone it with our silence, effectively saying that ‘it’s worth it’, when it is anything but.
Conversations such as those being had here within this blog and the comments thread simply cannot be had enough, and they need to extend into our institutions of learning, our workplaces and our homes.
I can feel straight away when someone is not themselves. Sometimes I have ignored, other times I have spoken up only to be dismissed as they said they were fine but clearly they were not. Most of the time I have held back for fear of not trusting myself whole heartedly and also because I didn’t want to feel the rejection when someone dismissed my concerns by reacting. I find it so confirming and supportive what you say here Rachel about our responsibility we have towards others. I do have a responsibility towards others. I know I am to trust my feelings and not give up in expressing because of another’s resistance… they have felt what I have said… that is what matters.
Yes Jane, I too have been deeply touched when another has offered me an opportunity to pause to feel where I am at. Those moments have been deeply healing, yet there have been times when I have not shared how I was truly feeling with another because I didn’t feel it was coming from a genuine source. It really does pay to discern energy and this indeed is work in progress.
I did react when I saw people genuinely feeling and doing better in their well-being but it also put a marker in my body showing me that this is possible and so I kept looking for a way. Being such a role model is very important.
This is so true Christoph. To see these reflections shows us that there is another way to live that can bring more simplicity and ease to the roller coaster busy life style so many live.
Totally Karin, I ended up in depression just before nearly completing my degree. I was a mess. I started to take drugs and this was a big contributor to instant depression. When I think about it there was a lot of drugs around at university. The culture of being a misfit was accepted because you were studying and receiving and education.
“The culture of being a misfit was accepted” great point Rik, University has created a normal that is not really normal, a place where people go and spend 3-5 years generally abusing their bodies through drinking lots of alcohol, taking drugs, cramming for exams and staying up late. That’s accepted as a rite of passage but I never saw the pleasure in that and I wonder how many people conform to that type of behaviour who are really not enjoying it?
I find it amazing that we champion and reward the behaviour and the system that allows and hothouses the culture.
I too dropped to quite a low point at University Rik. At uni we are completely identified with what we are doing/studying and at no point are we reminded that who we are and how we live is what truly counts. This is incredibly exhausting and devastating in our body.
Great sharing Karin, thank you. We really do need to appreciate how much we can support others when we live in a way that is deeply nurturing and caring, and not dismiss it as being something that will not be noticed. Just a small gesture or an understanding word can give another the opportunity to at least stop for a moment and ponder on what has just been presented to them. What they then do with it is entirely thier choice.
Great sharing Karin, to lovingly offer another way as Danielle did for her student, I’m sure was appreciated. With awareness true acts of love and kindness are often felt and remembered. The rest is left with us: whether or not we hear the wisdom or choose a different way. Either way the imprint is there.
Yes Amina, and the whole truth about being honest that this is the absolute loving care you can give yourself. And that being critical is no form of honesty, but actually a breakdown of the loving honesty we can have in our lives. I am understanding that we can make so many choices , being not always proud about them, but to lovingly hold ourselves when we look at them is truly important. And so , caring for ourselves go so incredible deep, it is not only the acts we do but the love we choose. Being it in our every way!
The quality of our Livingness does indeed ‘speak volumes’ Karin. That is what I found deeply poignant about Danielle’s sharing here in this blog – her recommendation to truly care for oneself was not just ‘words’. When such words are spoken, or such a reflection is received by another, the truth of ‘another way’ (to the self-negation and abusive lifestyles so prevalent around university study) cannot but be felt by another – offering a rock-solid reference point, should one wish to make their own changes in their own lives. The power of this can never be underestimated.
So true Marika and I am accepting this more and more, that I inspire others, even if I cannot see exactly how or what the inspiration or change might be. I am constantly inspired by others and many of them would never know the changes I make or the adjustments to my life I make. But I appreciate the reflections that I have in my life every day.
So true Sally, I think we are always watching others behaviours and clocking what is loving or not, this can be an inspiration or an excuse to drop off in our own self-loving choices if we want to enjoin others. In building more self-love and saying no more often to those things allows me to build a more solid foundation in love where gradually those ill choices drop away.
Yes I agree Jenny.
This appreciation and self confirmation of knowing what we bring when we are in different situations or around others is so important. As you say Sally, we don’t always know the what and how of the inspiration or reflection we share but we do know that there has been one. This is why our daily loving supportive living way is so important because everyone is feeling all of the time and in the way the world and society are today how can self care and gentleness in a body not stand out, reflect another way or inspire others. I am very much learning to constantly appreciate and register the reflection of me and the choices I make as they happen. Knowing I am taking responsibility for me I automatically know a ripple affect will happen for others.
Yes indeed, Johanna – “everyone is feeling all of the time”. Even if they are not conscious of it, observing someone who is moving or speaking responsibly and with love in their body can open them up to another way of being.
This is beautiful and true Johanna, and yes, ‘in the way the world and society are today how can self care and gentleness in a body not stand out, reflect another way or inspire others.’ A much needed reflection and inspiration, and great to appreciate our loving choices and responsibility in making these knowing the impact they have on the world.
So well said Sally. I am also appreciating the amazing reflections that I have had in my life that have supported me to get to this point in my development as I would still be lost without them.
This is a great point you make Sally. ‘I inspire others, even if I cannot see exactly how or what the inspiration or change might be.’ And this is exactly why it is so important to take responsibility for everything we do, because people are taking notice of how we are and how we do things. We can very easily influence others, whether what we are doing is a true way of being or not.
Beautifully said Sally. I too am inspired by people all the time. I constantly notice how different people allow themselves to express all sorts of qualities. I love to feel these different qualities and if they are ones I have not yet given myself permission to express, it inspires me to challenge myself to share even more of me.
Yes, lots of people can be role models for us. Perhaps more than we realise.
Beautiful Vicky and all, from all that has been expressed it is so easy to feel that it takes all of us to express ourselves in full for the whole to be complete. We each have something unique to bring to the world and without each person doing that we are all left lesser.
I feel that is part of the magic of inspiration – to go about your life and not need to know how or when that will make a difference in someone’s life. It is a great way for me to develop trust and surrender. For myself it has often been a simple gesture, or words said in passing that have had a huge impact and often this realisation did not come until later.
Yes Fiona I love the simplicity of ‘ just being’ and the resulting magic moments that occur, it is defiantly trusting and surrendering to knowing with every move and action we are connecting as we go about our day no matter where we are. Its being open to the moments and not dismissive of the simplest of connections because we are reflecting we all come from Divinity whether we remember it or not.
I absolutely agree Janet. I work as a student support person and always advocate students to address the ‘all-nighter’ patterns of study that seem to be endemic these days. Receiving the feedback from an academic would have been extremely powerful because it is the academics who the students aspire to impress.
My observations of working in academia for over twenty years is that first the academics will have to break that pattern within themselves. I don’t think I’ve worked with one colleague who is good at time management and hence everything gets left until the last minute. Lecturers will not be able to offer true support until they change the way they work.
I wonder if they are open to being inspired by their students Michelle?
Interesting and rather damning points Michelle. Like all aspects of our lives, we are so often influenced by what is normal, and often what others who are leading, promote. Perhaps the education needs to start at the top and work its way down. What is clear is that a change to how we approach University study is crucial to the health and wellbeing of students.
Yes, when I studied I noticed that when I outlined how and when I did my studies, which was well ahead of time, sometimes months ahead so that I would never get under serious time pressures as it is impossible to joyfully work very long hours when under pressure, just how confronting it was for my fellow academics.
Very good point Marika, I have been inspired many times by others in the way they live and the loving choices they make, and the super positive impact this has had on my life. It’s important for us to realise and claim that we also have a huge influence in the way we live and care for ourselves, for other people, and therefore the responsibility that we all share towards humanity and our fellow brothers and sisters.
I am always watching people and getting inspired by their self-loving choices and the care and quality put into the simplest task including how they fold clothes or put away the dishes or pack their lunch. This reminds me of how I can inspire people too without even noticing. Together, we can offer a lot of support to each other.
Yes Annie, this kind of thing inspires me too. Even in the way that someone picks something up or simply moves can be deeply inspiring and also very beautiful. We really can offer a whole lot of support to one another in all sorts of ways.
Yes Annie, I don’t think we realise the level of detail we observe in what is going on around us – and that others are doing the same. When we make the choice to live with responsibility, love and care – not only are we supporting ourselves, but we naturally offer that same support to others also – often without mentioning a word!
Well said Thomas, this is a great point. If we consider how much our lives have been influenced by role models or other individuals whose choices have stood out to us, then it’s impossible not to realise that every choice we make could potentially inspire (in a positive or negative way) others to do the same!
Another great point shared Thomas. We all have a responsibility and if everyone steps up to it the ripple effect turns into a huge wave!
This is so true Janet. We cannot underestimate how the impact of even one sentence can affect someones life and Danielle gives a great example of this. Equally by holding back from saying something we know to be true and could potentially inspure another, but do not say can prevent someone from ever knowing that there could be another way to approach the way they are living.
I agree Janet a simple connection back to the students from Danielle. This was due to the way she was living. You cannot offer a loving way if you are not living it yourself.
It’s such simple feedback really when we think about it, but nonetheless that can make a world of difference to our health and wellbeing.
I loved the feedback to the student too Janet. I am sure this is the only time that they would have heard these words from a lecturer. I work at a uni and find it is common for students to rely on the deadline and adrenaline of the stress to motivate them to get assignments in on time. This is something that really needs to change. Perhaps if students loved what they are learning they would not need this adrenaline kick to make them study!
Thank you Danielle. The university year has just started. In fact we are in the middle of Orientation week. Among all the services the organisation is offering to new and returning students I never saw guidelines on truly looking after their health. When the library opens there is a handful of students but it is often difficult to empty it at midnight and yet it may soon remain open 24 hours with coffee and sweet drinks machines at the ready.
Janet I too love the feedback that Danielle gave the student. I am sure it stopped the student in their tracks because there was an academic caring about them and their future welfare, and who was not just focussed on the assignment.
Each person reflects a different way and as you say Marika we learn from each other no matter what is expressed, there is a reflection and a choice for us . Anything else would be arrogance if we are not open to the reflection that is coming our way, from people, situations, nature we are always being shown messages to evolve our path.