Roseleen is my mother’s name, but most people called her Rose, like the beautiful flower. She is on her own now as my father passed a few years back. Since my father’s passing I have noticed much change in my mother: she seems more at peace with herself and the time and space she has now to ‘be’ with herself is something she’s never had before.
My mother has had a hard and difficult life. She raised six children and worked full time. My father stopped working when I was growing up, so my mother went out to work. On top of being the breadwinner, she still did all the cooking, cleaning and shopping; she took it all on. This created an imbalance in the relationship with my father.
How My Mother Coped
My mother had two ‘pleasures’; smoking and alcohol. In the beginning when she started to drink alcohol I am sure this felt like a relief, and something for herself, but as the years went on she grew more and more dependent and before she knew it she was addicted and drank daily.
A few months back I went home to visit her. In the plane, just when it ascended into the air, I got overwhelmed and the tears started to flow. I remember only one thought running through my body and that was:
Take Me Home
I was on my way to Scotland, which is where I was born. But I was thinking of another home, a home I had left a long time ago…
Early next morning, I sat alone drinking tea in my mother’s living room. My mother’s house had changed so much. It was not just the change in the furniture or the lovely warm red colours she had chosen, there was a feeling of cosiness and warmth, which seemed to comfort me. In contrast I remember feeling how cold the house was when I was a child.
Then into my awareness came a beautiful ornamental angel who sat on a table with her long legs dangling down in a very playful way. Her face was beautiful, soft and delicate with rose painted lips. When I looked all around the room I saw many angels, in corners, on the wall, on the window ledge. I knew that most of them, if not all these angels, had been given to my mother.
I don’t know how I knew, but as I looked at these angels I felt a deep knowing that my mother was an angel.
I didn’t see a halo around my mother or some golden light or golden wings. What I did see after removing the outer veils of alcohol, emotions, drama and smoking that she herself had chosen, was a beautiful, tender, sweet, humble and very precious woman with a heart that was pure. This made me wonder if those friends who had given my mother the angels had also known that part of her that I too was just coming to see.
I could see clearly that these veils she chose were to numb herself from feeling:
- how disconnected she was from herself and her body
- the disregard and neglect of herself as a woman
- how she let people walk all over her
- and how hard she pushed her body.
All of this was not who she truly was.
Without the alcohol, there was not one selfish bone in her body: my mother is as precious and delicate as a soft rose petal blowing gently in the wind.
Poisons or Pleasures?
Drinking alcohol and smoking over many years has damaged her health; it shows on her face, on her skin and most of all in her eyes. It also had serious consequences for her life and that of our family’s. Yet she called them her ‘pleasures’, as do many other people. It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures. For therein lies the problem, showing how very easily we deceive and fool ourselves so that we do not have to take responsibility for ‘our choices’ and the damage we do to our own bodies.
Smoking and drinking alcohol and the ugly emotions and drama that go with alcohol took my mother away from her true home, her inner heart, where her preciousness, her delicateness and her love resides, always.
On the plane that day, this was the home I was pondering on and felt I too had left this love a long time ago. But as I shared that very precious time with my mother I saw that she too had simply made choices as I had done. This powerful reflection showed to me that:
Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.
I wrote this article about my mother, but the truth is, it could be anyone’s mother, sister, daughter or best friend. When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and in truth, we are all that.
Deeply Inspired by the Presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Jacqueline McFadden – Scotland (Published with permission of Roseleen)
Related Reading:
Drinking Alcohol – The True Picture, The True Damage
I feel we can all relate to this
“In the beginning when she started to drink alcohol I am sure this felt like a relief, and something for herself, but as the years went on she grew more and more dependent and before she knew it she was addicted and drank daily.”
Many of us use alcohol to take the edge off the day or to bring relief to a difficult day and over time we need more alcohol to have the same numbing effect, it’s a downward spiral to become a habit that we cannot do without. What we could do instead of using alcohol as a prop is to talk to someone about the day and what made it so intense and look at the reasons why we want to relive ourselves from the feelings we have. Because just drinking alcohol doesn’t take away the feelings they are still there unresolved.
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.” Love is in and all around us when we open our heart to feel it.
What a blessing it is to be able to feel anothers’ divinity then feeling that they are simply caught in a choice as we all are. This takes away any judgement and opens our ability to deepen in the Love we all are.
When we come back home, we can see the innate beauty there is within everyone and everything else is seen for what it is. No veil can hide the truth that comes from there.
Do we see the outer layers, and stop there, in our judgment of another’s choices, or do we see beyond that, to the essence – the purity of love that resides within us all, equally so?
Letting go of judging and bringing understanding to a situation changes so much, ‘Smoking and drinking alcohol and the ugly emotions and drama that go with alcohol took my mother away from her true home, her inner heart, where her preciousness, her delicateness and her love resides, always.’
‘Love never leaves us’ it is only our choices that obscure this love and make it harder for us to access but it is always there awaiting our return.
When we get honest with ourselves and what is not working, and take responsibility for all we have created, this opens the space to feel what needs changing to be more self-caring and self-nurturing that begins to open the doors back to the love that has always been there.
There is such a different way we can see people if we see them for who they are truly, and then the choices they have made on top. When we appreciate that choosing to escape is a reaction to a hurt, then it can help us to discern from what is underneath – the love and tenderness that is within everyone
I can feel the Angels around me, very hard life and being disregarding and hard on the body. No security felt in the body and they do not want to commit to life. Their lightness and playfulness apparent. All it takes is the willingness to connect back to the body.
Thank you Jacqueline . I love this statement: ‘It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures.’
It is absolutely nonsense to do so and very corrupt of our truth.
I agree, this ‘trick’ it is incredibly strong in many people who go on to destroy themselves, ‘It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures.’
I love that you could see beyond all the outer veils to the inner qualities of your mother. I find that happens more and more often, as I let go of needing someone to be how I want them to be and accept them for who they are.
It is really lovely allowing our inner-selves to be seen, and seeing peoples inner qualities, who they truly are.
Power: ‘It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures.’
We know what we choose, as we can feel the effect of our choices in our body… so far until a certain point of numbness. But even then, we deep down know why we are choosing to use certain poisons and calling them pleasures to seal the deal (cover up the lie).
This shows how we can seek relief in how we live and how we are when in fact this is not us living the truth. If we silently take on the world, people expect this of us and we never call others to be more responsible or supportive. There is a lesson in this blog, that it is always about equality and responsibility in relationships and when we don’t have this we seek elsewhere.
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.” we would bode well to remember these wise words – we have huge amounts of love inside yet we choose to leave this all knowing all loving place.
To really see through another’s behaviour and choices we need to first be able to let go of our own hurts and in this it gives us the space to bring understanding and love to others.
We see and seek and seek until we give up over the seeming futility of it all and turn to alcohol, drugs or both to soothe, placate and numb ourselves away from the pain which might ever only temporarily subside somewhat. All the while we, each one of us, all of us, carry the answer to all questions, conundrums, difficulties and adversities within us, always and forever and without fail, no breaks, holidays, long service leave or sickies. ever needed or taken.
No matter how much we try to pretend and lie, the consequences of every movement as in this case smoking and drinking show in the body.
Seeing through the veils we have allows an understanding and insight that cannot help but connect us.
Very true Heather. We see what we want to see. For so long I could only find fault in another. I would focus on another’s faults but this is beginning to change. As I choose to see from the connection to myself another in their light I cannot but see and receive the reflection of love in another and this is being brought to the fore from building a loving relationship with self.
We have constant reflections all around us showing the love that we are and where we are not. The science of reflection has been one of and is the greatest opportunity I have experienced to be absolutely honest what will support the next steps in my evolution.
A very precious look at who we truly are and that we always know and can see the true person underneath all the layers of behaviour, that we have adapted to cope with life. It stresses the importance of allowing each other to express and make known what we see in each other, thus freeing us from the superficial way of engaging, and always connect to the truth we feel and see in another.
This is really beautiful to read again. We can see people we know through a lens of hurts and unmet expectations. Once we let these go we see people as they truly are. I love the way you identified that others have been aware of your mothers true nature all along, it shows me how important it is to observe things with fresh eyes no matter how familiar they may seem.
Jacqueline, I notice this happens a lot; “It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures. For therein lies the problem, showing how very easily we deceive and fool ourselves so that we do not have to take responsibility for ‘our choices’ and the damage we do to our own bodies.” At home and sometimes at school sweets are called ‘treats’, even though the sugar is harmful to the children’s sensitive bodies and can cause them to be racy and can be damaging to their teeth. Pleasures, treats and rewards feel like a cover up for why we are really consuming and drinking these things that are harmful for our bodies.
I love your last line- that ‘love never leaves us’. When we become so cemented into certain patterns and a certain way of being we can think that it is no longer there, no longer in us, yet it is always there whenever we choose to come back and connect with this.
There are times when life and the pressures of this world are over bearing and forms of self medication are required , in the case of your mother its alcohol and smoking sadly sometimes this is necessary . For others its can be tv , computers or what ever. But its interesting to understand that the true essence of your mother has now been seen by you and has many times been seen by her friends as shown in the gifts of Angels .
Love never does leave us and this is proven when all of a sudden you connect to a small child, or a stranger in the street and there is this instant opening of the heart and the smile back is very beautiful and confirming of our true nature.
One of the many benefits of being willing to work on our own veils is the ability to see past those of others and hold them in the love that they are whatever the outward behaviours that they may currently be displaying.
Jacqueline, your mother worked full time, ran and took full responsibility for the entire household including 6 kids and a husband – talk about over load! I have no doubt she would have been exhausted, overwhelmed and in complete over-drive trying to keep it together. When you look at it like this you can really understand why people reach for quick fixes – as the alcohol would have given her a sugar hit and numbed the overwhelm at least for a while, and the cigarettes would have given her a time out.
The absolute beauty of truly seeing another is a great moment in space, even if they are no longer with us physically, that connection and felt confirmation, deepens us and allows us to feel that that depth of love is forever, and absolutely divine.
To come back to ourselves is a touching moment, to open our arms to hold ourselves no matter what. When we do that unconditionally with ourselves, naturally we understand why others do what they do to themselves, we can also accept and see beyond what they have used to protect themselves with. The beauty we see in others, is the beauty we have chosen to live.
We show the world many faces, behaviors and beliefs that hide and we deem protect our tenderness and grace. But protect it does not as we harden and pull away from our tenderness. When we live this way everyone suffers. It is beautiful your Mum found her self and choose to live with what she found to be able to create such a feeling of warmth in her home.
You express so beautifully Jacqueline the power of love, and how no matter what has happened before, love pulls us through ever more stronger and wiser, and more love filled.
We are so innately and deeply precious, our choices may make us externally appear otherwise however no matter what we choose that preciousness of life, that warmth and love is always within us.
It is amazing, crazy actually, that we place so much value of what we do to define who we are, to measure our worth, to be recognised or feel a sense of belonging, yet all the while missing the true value, richness, confirmation, and realness that unfolds from being who we already are and bringing this to life.
The way we abuse our body with substances like alcohol, drugs and nicotine does show on our faces. It is there in the lines, the darkness and the sagging as the body cannot hide how it has been treated.
This blog has bought some deep understanding about my relationship with my mother. This statement bought it home for me ‘But as I shared that very precious time with my mother I saw that she too had simply made choices as I had done’.
I had tears rolling down my face as I read this – I know I had been critical of the choices she had made and yet I was no different to her.
As I visit. her from overseas, I’ve been given this precious opportunity to see her for who she truly is under the thick layer of cultural beliefs she grew up around. I appreciate what you have shared – the timing of reading this blog couldn’t have come at a better time.
Beautiful what you shared Shushila thankyou, for who can put their hand up and say they have not been critical of the choices their parents have made and then to drop that judgement through understanding and grace is very humbling and creates the space for more love to flow.
Jacqueline re-reading this blog has brought me back to memories of someone very dear to me, who never drank or smoked, or swore. A very delicate and tender being who wasn’t strong enough to hold her grace within the world, but never spoke a bad or harsh word about anyone and never did she gossip or talk negatively about others. If someone did, she would listen but never contributed to that conversation. I feel that she too was an Angel who found the world too harsh and could not stay within it.
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.” Finding our way home to love and we find the way to meet the equal love in another.
Thank you Jacqueline, beautiful to read this again, as you say the study you made of your mother and the insights you received apply to all human beings. A very powerful gem of wisdom here “Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.” Very true and that door back into the love is always open.
A very beautiful blog to read, one that brought me to tears, thank you Jacqueline, I have a son who drinks very often and this has caused so much pain to himself and his family over the years. Like you with your mother I can now look past the devastating effects of alcohol and see a deeply sensitive beautiful caring man who chooses to dull his pain with alcohol.
Jacqueline it touched me how you were able to see your mother as an angel, past all the veils. I too have been able to see my parents and get past many of the hurts I used to carry in relation to them. The understanding I have brought to myself and my choices has rippled out to an understanding of them being equally precious and fragile as me. Its never to late to return ‘home.’
I so appreciate that I was able to meet my own mother, in her latter years, in a sweet tenderness. As we allow our own tenderness to be expressed and we drop the hardness and protection it is easier for others to express this too.
I can really relate to how you feel and what you say about your mother Jacqueline
“I didn’t see a halo around my mother or some golden light or golden wings. What I did see after removing the outer veils of alcohol, emotions, drama and smoking that she herself had chosen, was a beautiful, tender, sweet, humble and very precious woman with a heart that was pure.”
I can honestly say this is how I now see my mother, that underneath everything was a very beautiful sensitive person who was not met and resorted to alcohol to dull the pain and misery she was in because she couldn’t cope with the life she had chosen.
When we come to a stage in life when we understand ourselves and our past unloving choices, we have so much more awareness to understand others and is how we can drop the judgement of another, be it family, a friend or a colleague.
To me, drinking alcohol is like a giving up because (from what I can remember of drinking) there is a loss of control. Of thoughts, emotions, feelings and awareness. When I drank socially I wouldn’t feel the relief but the anxiety of not being able to choose how I want to move, think and be. Losing my sense of self was scary. But I still drank or pretended to to fit in.
This really does raise again the question of … what if …. What if humanity wasn’t flooded with numbing substances and everyone had to feel, and keep feeling, and eventually knowing their true nature… and this truth is in all of us, everyone without exception.
To love another no matter the imperfections, gorgeous Shirley- Anne, we humans so easily get caught up in the imperfections of others especially in our families and at the same time forgetting that we all have our imperfections….. But God loves every single one of his children no matter how much they play up and throw tantrums and resist the love they are. God waits with his arms open.
I was recently working through some of the stuff that I have been holding onto in my relationship with my parents. It is interesting how when we are born into a family with that we have all these pictures, ideas, expectations and demands of how we need to be with and for each other and that these don’t honour who we are or support us to relate in truth with each other- instead we often relate through the labels of how we expect certain roles to be for us.
A beautiful comment, thank you Richard.
What is devastating is that we all just play along with this game and accept that this is how life is. We don’t live in a way that asks us to question what’s really going on when a relative needs alcohol to relieve the tensions of life- thank god for Serge Benhayon showing another way to wake us up to a greater life to be lived.
I can relate to your mothers change and the warmth she now lives with, I too have experienced this for myself. It is the grandest of feelings to have the space to stop and to feel just how we want to live, and following through with living this way.
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.” This is so beautiful Jacqueline – and so true.
Beautiful blog Jacqueline, to see someone for who they truly are, and not to be fooled by what they present or how they try to hide themselves, changes our entire relationship with them.
I have such a different relationship with my mother now that I am no longer judging her and can truly see her for who she is. And she can feel this and responds warmly, and now I love hanging out with her.
This is beautiful and so true Jacqueline, ‘When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and in truth, we are all that.’
Everyone of us… Every one has that extraordinary spark of the divine within them… With so many terrible things happening upon the planet this can be hard to comprehend… But it has always been so, and the fire of divine awareness will be brought forth, eventually, within everyone.
Holding the world to ransom because we were not met and held in our essence, is to blame another that also wasn’t met and held in their essence and the cycle of blame goes on. To clearly understand we are met and loved when we choose it for ourselves, the blame dissolves and we then can see the beauty we all are underneath. We are only a choice away from Love, and it’s with deep appreciation for Serge Benhayons teachings that I also was able to stop the blame game and allow the connection to love, my return.
Thank you Jacqueline. A beautiful home coming to truth. “Without the alcohol, there was not one selfish bone in her body: my mother is as precious and delicate as a soft rose petal blowing gently in the wind.”
We have all made choices to disregard and bury our essence and true beauty and face the world with our facades and coping strategies firmly in place. It is beautiful to be able to see through them to what lies beneath… and know that connection to that is only a choice away.
I have so much more to appreciate about my mother too Jacqueline. She hardly touched alcohol and never cigarettes however like your mother and us all, there were other methods by which we protect ourselves from the harshness of the world. Thank you so much for sharing!
What a beautiful reflection Jacqueline! It was summed up for me when you shared about how we leave home – the love that can never leave us because we are indeed made of it! Your openness to your mother is beautiful too. We have so much to understand about each other don’t we?
Re-visiting this blog today is a very timely reminder that even the smallest thread of frustration I may feel with my mother (we are currently travelling together) is only exposing where I have temporarily stepped away from the truth of my innermost home. \there is an instant feeling of my body letting go and expanding within as I realise this. Thank you!
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all”.
Reading what you have written about your mother Jaqueline felt very beautiful, understanding and loving to me; and yes I could certainly feel my own mother and indeed myself.
I am so grateful now for the understanding that you so divinely expressed;
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all”.
“When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and in truth, we are all that.” So beautifully shared when we can move past the outer veils…… the beauty and preciousness is there within us all to be reflected and shared.
When we are loving and accepting of ourselves we allow others the grace of simply being themselves without the need or expectation they be otherwise. We can only ever be responsible for us.
Whatever the ‘poisons’ we may have chosen past or present, at the heart of every one of us we remain our joyful loving essence. There can be no true ‘pleasure’ in covering this preciousness.
A beautiful article Jacqueline, with this awareness and beholding love we can bring true understanding as you have done with your mother. Judgement can only ever separate us further.
Thank you Jacqueline this is beautifully expressed and very healing to read, when we remain open and loving we can connect to another’s true essence and see beyond the layers that have been built to protect themselves.
A beautiful article Jacqueline and a good point on holding others in love without judgement
it is amazing to feel that Love never leaves no matter how much we try to block it out, numb it, and push it away.
Meeting another with an open heart instead of judgements or expectations allows us to feel their true essence as the sons of God equally in all of us.
These veils are not who we are and when we allow ourselves to see past them we get to connect to the true person behind it who is delicate, loving, tender and beautiful. When we understand why protection is chosen instead of openness and truth, we are able to let go of judgement which creates a barrier for us to truly connect if we hold onto it and project it. In our own time we will all eventually learn to take responsibility for our unloving choices and live who we truly are.
We all have veiled ourselves as protection from the hurts, the sadness, the pain etc that we have experienced in our lives, but in the process the veils have hidden the beautiful beings that we truly are, not only from those around us, but most importantly from ourselves. To see someone finally lift off the veils of protection is the most joyous and inspiring sight to behold.
I love this blog as a women you have been able to capture the true heart of another women rather than cloud the images of how a mother should be. There are no perfections in anyone but choices we make and allowing others to come to their own understanding all in good time. A deeply respectful piece of writing.
A beautiful blog Jacqueline – thank you. I can feel the truth of what you share – the tenderness, preciousness and fragility that we trade for images setup to separate us from the truth we all know. I loved your comment – ‘Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.’ – this is deeply felt. . We make choices every moment of our lives according to the images we hold. It is time to live from the truth we sense within and to discard all images and their distortion, control and influence they so subtly render.
We all make choices every day, but perhaps the main choice is to be love or not… I am learning to just be love and to share myself, without needing anything in return which feels so liberating and light.
Sometimes we reveal so much in the simple phrases that we are in the habit of saying… If we start to listen to ourselves we will learn so much.
There is a strong message in this blog about connecting and understanding another first from their essence before seeing them for their actions and behaviours on the outside. This is the only way to really hold and cherish another and to hold them in this space is a beautiful way to be in relationship with all in this world
Well said Joshua. In this world the usual way of relating to others is through what we have read from the outside cover story. Taking the time to connect to others by knowing that in essence, we all hold a particular form of beauty, is a game changer. Thank you Jacqueline for sharing your story which shows us all a way of being open in relationship with people, regardless of the history that may already exist.
Yes, Well expressed Joshua – I agree that meeting people in their essence first changes our interactions with people completely and sets a foundation for deeper relationships and communication with everyone we meet.
Gorgeous Joshua, this is the way of the heart….
Monica, you are so lovingly right. We can choose many ways to pass our love and deny it – but like you both share , love is unescapeable and always tracable in everyone – as we are made out of it , even if we have suppressed it for eaons.
As I was reading this blog I reflected upon my own changing relationships with my own parents. It is amazing just how much my understanding of them has also changed through acceptance of my own responsibility for all that I have chosen in my life.
Beautiful Michael, and yes the truth is that when we take responsibility for all our past choices and for how our life has turned out, it’s hugely transforming and healing and we start to see life anew without the dark shades and we start to truly see people.
Jacqueline this is a beautiful blog to read, when we accept another’s choices and dissolve any judgment we hold, we are able to feel their true essence, and then we see them with the tenderness they really are.
I just adore this piece, it always insights me to look beyond those barriers and behaviours that pretend to shield us from each other and recognise the beauty we hold within.
I agree with you Jaime Foley – reminders to look beyond barriers and behaviours used for self protection are always welcome – there is always so much more true beauty to enjoy.
Exquisite piece of writing…..I love your insights into seeing beyond what is being presented and seeing the love that you mother is (and we all are).
Thank you Jacqueline for sharing a very beautiful blog, it brought me to tears as I have a family member who is hiding his hurts and his beautiful heart in alcohol. So beautiful to realise that we all are love and we all come from love, no matter what is portrayed on the out side.
Jill, I also have a family member who is hiding his hurts and do not speak to me. Initially, this was painful, but with support I came to understand that we each have our own journey, and what best supports another in resistance or avoidance is to keep reflecting love – which provides another choice for them when they are ready……
Yes, It puts a very different light on the behavior of others when we understand their chosen poison to numb out from true love (alcohol, drugs, anger, hardness etc) is not who they really are – only their protective armour plating under which all or hurts are being buried. Their world can only be seen by them from this perspective and is acted out on others accordingly.
“a family member who is hiding his hurts and his beautiful heart in alcohol.”
“a family member who is hiding his hurts and does not speak to me”
Of course makes sense, thank you for the reminder Stephanie, that when we have our thick protected coat or armour on, the expression cannot but be contracted, limited and controlled and our world is tainted by the dark shades we wear… I know this for I wore this armour for many many years…. No-one could penetrate my many layers of armour, that was until I became ill – the intelligence of my body knew, this would crack my protection and eventually support me to remove it…. So how can I judge another when they express from this place?
Hi Jacqueline, thank you for sharing your discovery of this hidden treasure in All of us. Alchol and smoking became my friend at a time when I was feeling the lowest of lows in my life. I didn’t realise it at the time but once I said goodbye to these so called friends, so too did I say goodbye to a life fuelled by emotion and drama. You just don’t realise when you are in it just how toxic these substances are not only in your body but in your whole being. What joy to see all those angels all around you when you came home.
Emotions and drama, alcohols side kicks, these two things keep us so disconnected from our bodies, and so disconnected from others, that when you are in this abusive cycle you just do not realise how harming and toxic it is to ourselves and then all others as you mention Susanne. But once we kick them out the door, and deal with our hurts, and if we choose we can start to feel that we are enough exactly the way we are… self-acceptance and self-love then have the space to blossom.
Beautiful story Jacqueline thank you for sharing, I especially like the symbolism of the angel and how that is reflective of your mother.
That’s true Toni – for a number of years in my early twenties I held onto hurts and projected them onto my parents which meant our relationship was more distant and I was held in my own chosen self-destructive behaviour. Sadly all else I did in these years was also affected – all from holding onto hurts and not wanting to feel what was there to be dealt with. Having made huge changes in my life one small step at a time I am filled with love for my parents and truly appreciate them for who they are. It’s amazing how developing love for yourself can provide and basis to heal relationships with so many others.
This is so beautifully touching Jacqueline. What we do to ourselves to numb the pain and the hurt and what we become is never who we really are and it’s really lovely that you are able to see the true inner beauty of who your mother really is.
Thank you Jaqueline for sharing your experience of the love that is within us all, it’s only in the choices that makes us forget. And it is beautiful to feel that when we make the choice to connect to this love, it is easily uncovered.
Your words “take me home” are still resonating in me. When I think about, how often I still get lost sometimes n the outer world, your sharing is like a healing for me and a great reminder, that everybody has love and pure gold inside him, no need to search for it in the outer world. Thank you.
Thank you Jacqueline for sharing the beauty of your mother and the beauty of you. I recently returned home to visit my mother and felt the same deep beauty and preciousness of who she truly is. It is a joy to embrace and confirm my mother in this way as I know I am simply confirming what I have come to know within myself.
” it is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures. For therein lies the problem, showing how very easily we deceive and fool ourselves so that we do not have to take responsibility”-
So true , so many people in society today believe and claim that poisons such as alcohol, smoking are not harming, in order to not take full responsibility, and deal with their inner issues/ hurts.
Thank you Jacqueline. Beautiful what you share. Yes, our mothers -behind all the veils they have put up- are tender, loving angels. And those veils, they are not what my mum truly is deep down. To see my mum like this and connect to that shifted my perspective on my mum. It is easy and therefore tricky to only see the veils and relate to that. I found it leads to hurts/veils talking to each other, which is no true connection. It is just a matter of choice: where do I connect to – the veil or her true nature?
The truth of the quality of connection with another is simply stated here Caroline – than you for this reminder.
“It is just a matter of choice: where do I connect to – the veil or her true nature”?
Love your question Caroline; ‘ where do I connect to – the veil or her true nature’? It is so much easier to connect to others ( and see past their outer actions) when we are first connected with ourselves and the wisdom of our bodies.
This was beautiful to read Jacqueline. It is gorgeous that you can feel the enormous beauty within your mother regardless of her choices, a beauty we all have, yet choose at times to suppress. I love that you have exposed the lies we tell ourselves about the poisons we choose calling them pleasures… for distracting and burying our self and our inner heart is far from a pleasure and more just a poor coping mechanism to deal with the love we are not choosing to live. The beauty in this is that at any moment we can choose differently.
What a beautiful blog capturing the essence, the core of every person. Deeply touching, thank you for sharing
Jacqueline, love what you share here. It is about feeling through those barriers and masks that people put up to feel the beauty that lies within us all. We all have our problems but it is about accepting and understanding the choices others make and having no judgement but expressing true Love.
yes indeed… The words it’s my only pleasure, it’s my only enjoyment in life, it’s what I need, I wouldn’t get by without it, and all these statements are not referring to the connection to the natural and beautiful joy inside, but rather to stimulants and addictive substances , that actually stop us from feeling… And this is seen as normal!
Even with all our harming choices this blog shows we are never very far away from ourselves and our true nature. All that we need to do is to choose it, to choose love.
Jacqueline this a deeply beautiful sharing – thank you. ‘Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.’ – so very true. And I agree that this is about us all. How within we are all equally beautiful, precious, tender and Divine. For this this also highlights how important it is to remember this reflect this to each other and not react to the choices we and others make when we are in separation to the love we are.
A deeply touching article Jacqueline. It has brought tears to my eyes. To see beyond the hardness and protection that we build around us, to the delicate, tender and loving essence of who we all truly are. Beautiful.
Sometimes its hard for us to see what lies beneath all the hurts and the addictions we have, but your writing which was so beautifully expressed shows that everyone hides behind something and by seeing through the veil we can truly appreciate the beauty behind.
Thank you.
It is easy to perceive that a person is their behaviours – especially when the behaviours are unpleasant and obvious. I like how you bring us to the understanding that your mothers story could be anyones – for we are all in fact addicted to dulling our light because of the hurts/wounds we carry. Meeting another person for the preciousness they are despite their behaviour (though not condoning or excusing it) is a truly loving action – and it does indeed start with ourselves. Despite all the gifts of angels etc that your mother’s friends purchased for her, she at some point made a choice to let love in again.. as it is never too late which her story is a testament to.
Thank-you Sarah, this is true, my mother’s story is a testament for all that it is never too late to change your life, and it is never too late to make the choice to let love in.
I was feeling that this blog could very well be about my mother too, and as you say, about my friend or my sister…It is touching that some people like you can see beyond the layers we have put on ourselves, the layers of hardness, numbness, heaviness, disconnection, and clearly feel the essence that unites us all. It is a great lesson to see everybody passed their halo of hardness and pain, the outside we react to, and instead and foremost feel their essence, the beauty that we all share. And isn´t that the way to brotherhood? Brotherhood with your mum too.
I agree Julia, that is the way to brotherhood, and when you see past the veils of protections and untruths in one person, it becomes much easier to feel/see the beautiful essence in all.
Such a beautiful blog Jaqueline. As you say this could be for anyone as it is for all.
A beautiful and tender article Jacqueline. There is a tender beauty when we feel the preciousness of the person within without the distortions and judgement of the choices they have made.
Thank you Jacqueline, your story touched me how loving and giving your mother is. Before you even said the words I was thinking what an angel your mother is. It brought up feelings of my mother too. Giving and doing beyond her limits for others without any regard for herself. I have often thought how that is possible to go beyond their threshold. They are fueled by a purpose bigger than themselves.
It is so beautiful to re-visit this blog Jacqueline. I have been enjoying some magic moments with simply meeting people in their essence rather than getting caught up in the personality or disregarding traits that are being acted out. It is amazing just how this opens deeper connections with everyone – being all-inclusive and as part of the bigger picture, rather than creating more separation and protection.
I can feel the magic in those moments you share Stephanie, for I am having a few magic moments too when I just connect to the person in front of me, I am discovering just how much more I can let me out, and I see how much more I share of me…… yep, connection comes first, feels lovely.
Very true Stephanie and Jacqueline, connection comes first and changes how we see all our relationships whether they are family friends or the lady at the check-out, it really does make a difference.
Beautiful Stephanie. I love what you say here about meeting people in their essence. ‘Being all-inclusive and as part of the bigger picture, rather than creating more separation and protection’
I am understanding more deeply that it is all about ‘meeting myself in my essence’ first and truly appreciating and accepting this fact -rather than the old focus on the external which always gets stuck in a plethora of heavy duty emotional and mental distortions – for example, comparison, blame, self loathing, rejection .
Then, celebrating others and meeting their essence is a natural progression. It is too beautiful, gorgeous and amazing to keep to oneself, love and tenderness just spills over for everyone to feel and enjoy for themselves too.
So true Stephanie. By us being in our essence it allows another to be in theirs. What a beautiful moment this would be connecting to each other in this way.
Thank you Jacqueline for the reminder that home is never one mile, one meter or even an inch away from us. Love is always there within us and within everyone else. If I ever believe that it is not there within another then am I truly holding myself in love in that moment if I believe I am ‘there’ but another isn’t based on a focus on these outer layers and choices that another or I have made? From experience when I am love nothing that has been chosen previously is worth focusing on, the love I am is far greater and the love WE are is twice as nice, or more if theres more than one other person with me.
Great point Leigh, we are all equal in love, some may walk in the shadow of love, some may resist love, and others have given up on themselves and use the stimulants to forget…… but no matter who you are or where you have travelled, love just waits and waits with open arms when we are ready or feel worthy to receive.
Thank you Jacqueline for this beautiful sharing. Observing our family is an amazing opportunity and a learning for us as you share. To feel that innate love first of which has been hidden with their chosen behaviours – we know it is not them just the cover ups of their way of dealing with life. “Love never leaves us”.
How amazing to share this experience and then write about it with the permission from your mother – When I read this I am blown away at how profound the healing can be when people connect to all that we are first, that living stillness within each of us and move forward with understanding making a choice not to get stuck in the combat of hurts, emotions and beliefs. There really is another way and we really do have choices.
It is the way Nicole, that when we connect back to our true essence, so much healing is on offer with so many more choices, the first being to let go of the hurts/emotions/old beliefs we carry that hold us back, and to ask for the support when needed when resistance comes up; yes, ‘to let go and live’, were words I read on another blog…..
Renaming poisons to pleasures is the way to avoid feeling what is truly going on in life as well as a way to construct a space that belongs to us exclusively. The problem is how damaging that space really is and how much does it stop us to keep going in life in direction to our true being. Renouncing that space is the beginning of a beautiful journey.
Your comment touched me deeply Joanne, especially the part over my mother, and yes may grace be with the Angel Roseleen to find her own way home, and may grace be with us all so that in our own time, at our own gentle pace, we all find our way home.
So beautiful to read your blog again Jacqueline. Wow! I can feel just how precious everyone is in their essence.
Thank you Jacqueline for this sharing and Roseleen for being open to having it published. It is very important that we look at alcohol, cigarettes or any drugs in a true light – not as pleasures, but actually as tools to numb ourselves to the fact that we are not living honestly and truthfully according to who we are, which is love. It can be very painful to live a life that is not as we know our true essence to be, and we can then choose to numb ourselves rather than addressing all the areas in our lives that are not loving. It takes courage to take the steps back to love. May the beautiful Angel Roseleen find that courage, it is all there for her, residing inside her heart.
Thank you for this beautiful blog. When we don’t honour ourselves and spend our lives doing for others in disregard of ourselves, we look for something that is just for us. For Rose it was smoking and alcohol. The problem is that what we are missing is already there inside us and when we use things outside us as a “just for me” moment like this, we take ourselves further away from the beauty inside. We are adding more disregard to counter the already there disregard. You can’t fight disregard with more disregard.
To meet people truly as they are recognising first their own true essence and not as you described the veil of smoking, drinking and emotions laden over the top is a way of living where deep acceptance and understanding can take place.
The way of the Livingness presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, supports and allows deep acceptance and understanding first of ourselves and then with all others, which completely transforms and improves all your relationships. Thank you Jenny McGee.
Jacqueline a reminder that our essence never changes no matter what we bury ourselves in.
Jacqueline how loving and wise you are to write about your mother, appreciating her delicateness underneath the layers of defence.
This is a beautiful reminder to love ourselves tenderly and without judgement, and to love all others equally.
We are all loving and wise when we ‘love ourselves tenderly and without judgement’, then it becomes so much easier to see all others in this same light. Thank you Bernadette.
There is a real exquisiteness within this blog as the way you describe your mother is so tender, loving and heartfelt. I could feel as you wrote that this sense of home is deeply within us all and it is true we have all at one point or another made the choice to leave. How beautiful to know though it is simply a choice to return and we can do this at any time as we all hold the keys to our heart and living from our love.
How beautiful, loving and touching it was to read this. I am at the airport and a few minutes ago I passed a duty free shop selling HUGE bars of chocolate with a sign saying “treat yourself” and I thought how absurd to have such a sign telling people that it was a treat to give their bodies all that sugar and poison which is not a treat at all for the body at any time and especially not when travelling. So yes completely agree to call poisons pleasures or treats is grotesque.
Hi Nicola, there was a time when I saw a big bar of chocolate as my ‘treat’, or a nice slice of cake,or choloclate biscuits, I saw them all as pleasurable especially at the end of a long day (and during the day and more so when I was tired). Now I am sugar free, and have so much more clarity and energy that sugar has no place in my future. But yes as long as we are naming them pleasures, we are caught in the illusion and the real change comes when we see sugar as an addictive drug and and call it for the poison it is.
Jacqueline, thank you, for this hugely healing sharing. It is harder with parents not to take things personally and go into stories. I used to blame my parents for pretty much everything I didn’t like about myself and my life. Accepting them as the beauty and the preciousness they are beyond their choices – felt like an impossible task, but I am experiencing it as the only way that brings a true healing. And I so love what you offer at the very end: it could be anyone’s mother, sister, daughter or best friend. When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and in truth, we are all that. Beautiful.
A beautiful share Fumiyo. A huge shift takes place within us with the healing and the letting go when we stop blaming our parents…..so much space is created which allows a new awareness of how truly beautiful we human beings are when we can see past those filmsy veils that we wear so as not to be seen. It is time to be seen and it is time to shine our true light so others may get the reflection and the reminder that they are that too.
Jacqueline, I really felt the truth in what you said. It seems that most of the world is using so called ‘pleasures’ to get through life. These pleasures serve only to take us further from who we truly are. What we are all aching for is in the heart of us all. So close and yet we are stumbling around desperately searching for a foot hold somewhere outside of us.
It is a beautiful feeling when you realise that we have everything inside of us to live by and that searching on the outside to tell us who we are is just a lie.
Yes I have to agree this is a very beautiful blog and I hope many will read it and let the judgements they have laid on their parents in the past can melt away to see the angels in all of them underneath a few bad decisions.
I was touched by your ability to hold and see your mum for who she truly is and the ‘veils’ that cast a shadow over this. If we were all able to hold ourselves in this way, the roles and behaviours that are not in align with who we truly are would drop away.
So beautiful and touching Jacqueline and your words here sum it up so poignantly “Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all”. When we realise this, we start to see and approach life and people differently. We become more open and understanding of the fact that others/our family have only chosen to leave home just as we have. This creates an equalness or sameness effect as opposed a former judging of a life lead from trying to cope with this fact/choice, such as using alcohol or smoking as highlighted in your mother’s case. We’ve all been there. We’ve all tried to cope, substances aside, whether that’s through disruptive or abusive relationships, exhausting amounts of study, being a driven and independent working woman, raising a family…essentially anything used to distract us from knowing the address of home. In forgetting ourselves, we forget the address. So in remembering ourselves, we remember that address once again, and we arrive home.
Yes Zofia, when we realise that others mainly our family have left home just like we did, it does take away the judging and the separation that was there, which allows the space for equalness and the knowing that we are the same – we are equal in love no matter the choices we have made.
“I did this a few more time because I didn’t want to listen to my body”. The thought occured to me after reading this line Chan and how many lives have we not listened to our bodies…? And how insane is it that the body gaves us clear messages that are pretty obvious as you have described and yet we continue consciously to repeat the habit in this case drink more alcohol. It becomes very clear, that unless or until we make a clear decision to say no more alcohol, it is only then that we can finally see how abusive and toxic the subtance was all along. But it is making the choice to say NO.
Wow Jacqueline very beautiful sharing of your experience and the beauty you see in your mother. I love the part about the angles in your mother’s house that were all given to her as gifts was incredible. What you said about alcohol, I definitely agree with you that it is very poisonous. I experienced that myself when I was in my late teens. I had tried a very small amount of alcohol and each time it would knock me out. I would first feel the heat in my cheeks burning sensation, then my heart wound pound so fast and hard that I would feel every pulse throughout my body all the way to my fingertips and I would just have to lay down and sleep it off. I did this a few more time because I didn’t want to listen to my body. I wanted to fit in with my friends. But then another much louder message appeared to warn me how poisonous alcohol is. On 2 occasions, the very next day I developed an itchy rash on my palms and that was it, I then had no doubt it was highly toxic to my body and decided to never ever drink alcohol again. This confirms that if we truly listen to our body and love it in a way that it is very precious we would not be able to abuse it. I also witness in others when they consume a lot of alcohol that they transformed into somebody else. They completely lose themselves and that is why so many people choose alcohol so they don’t have to feel their misery and to not feel who they truly are.
What a very healing account of one’s relationship with our family members and how we can change, without expecting them to, even though we see faults and harm being done. In this type of change, we heal ourselves as we come to know and trust the essence of another, but also of that of ourselves. Thus both receive the healing and in my experience, for example with my elder brother, on me choosing to bring absolute acceptance and love to that relationship, it is amazing in offering that space, how there was a choice to grow in love, appreciation and acceptance in himself as well. This may not always occur, but it is offering this space that is everything, for this provides an opportunity to another that they may not see as being accessible to themselves and that is truly precious.
Very well said Simon. I totally agree with you the healing we receive when we allow others the time and space to heal without imposing on them we then also naturally receive the healing.
Love what you have expressed here Simon, it is truly precious when we provide the space for another to see something different which provides them with an opportunity to grow, if they so chose!
A gorgeous blog to re-visit Jacqueline. Thank you for showing the depth of understanding you now have for your mum and the lack of judgment in the choices that she continues to make.
Thank you Jacqueline for writing such beautiful appreciation for all women. As you share just because a choice is made to cover up with alcohol and cigarettes etc. doesn’t mean the inner beauty of each women has gone any where. It’s always inside and like angels we just never know when it might shine out. It’s in the appreciation and understanding that it is there that offers the opportunity for it to be felt.
I love your comment Sandra. Appreciation and understanding of others allows them to truly shine and then it is reflected back to us to also choose to shine our inner beauty.
A beautiful revelation, Jacqueline of where our true ‘home’ is and the truth that love never leaves us but the fact we make choices that are not from love and thus we end up in the loveless ‘state’. This brings greater understanding that it’s the choices we make that create the environment we end up living in and not the other way round as many people would have you believe.
How true Andrew, it is because of our choices that we end up in a loveless ‘state’, and then when we make the choice to return to love, we first have to clear all the loveless choices we have chosen… which is not always easy to face yourself, but well worth the freedom and joy this brings.
“I was pondering on and felt I too had left this love a long time ago. But as I shared that very precious time with my mother I saw that she too had simply made choices as I had done.” This quote feels very powerful for me, I can feel the understanding that you share with others, who yes make choices. It feels lovely to read of how you reached a place of understanding with your own choices and your mothers choices.
I agree with you Samantha, understanding and accepting the choices one makes in their lives is very important.
It was so beautiful to read how Jacqueline has come to the awareness that her mother’s ill choices and behaviour was not her , and that her true essence was still there waiting to be unveiled.
Reading your blog touched me deeply Jacqueline. The love, delicacy and tenderness you hold your mother in is very beautiful to feel. I cannot help but feeling this for myself to after this blog and for all others too. Very Inspiring.
Beautiful Jaqueline! Thank you for this deeply apt reminder for us all to acknowledge and honour that which we feel each other and ourselves to truly be as woman. The delicate, precious, and graceful natural way of women, and the deeply tender natural way of the man shows true power that I feel so inspired by.
This is a very inspiring piece of writing, I’ve found your story very encouraging to look beyond the outer details of a person and their coping mechanisms (which are often self harming) to simply connect to the person and enjoy that connection. I’ve spent a lot of time worrying about people around me due to their unhealthy habits, yet I could also see past those things to simply connect to the essence of each person. There is so much power and stillness in acceptance (as opposed to my many reactions!). Lots of food for thought here, thank you.
Yes, I agree Melinda; ‘there is so much power and stillness in acceptance’, and if I may add, there is so much power in understanding which then allows another to be where they are at, making the choices they are making… in the knowing that they too can make another choice whenever they choose too…but understanding the choices self made comes first.
Wow it’s really fascinating what we as humanity categorize as ‘pleasures’. In the example of alcohol and others like eating junk food, smoking or pushing our bodies to the extreme level in exercise it seems that people see this as ‘pleasure’. But could it be that we are enjoying not feeling how amazing, precious and gorgeous we are? And this then could mean getting ready in 10 minutes (when we know we need 30) is a pleasure because it allows us not to feel how tender we are. Your blog Jacqueline has opened up my eyes to what I do as pleasure which is basically what I do to distract me from my self.
I can feel the angel in me and in all of us. We have a choice to be that angel in every moment and not allow those choices that take us away from who we truly are.
What a beautiful blog Jacqueline, the love for your mother is very easily felt in it. It is such a beautiful reminder to keep seeing through the veils of behaviours and patterns of people and to see what is really going on. To see that they too care, are hurt and crave love like everyone else no matter what their medicine or protection is. This does not mean allowing for abusive behaviour but i have found that seeing people for what is truly going on and who they are has given me so much understanding that stops me from reacting all the time. It has transformed my relationships.
Yes, I agree, people do care and crave love like we all do, but until we deal with our hurts, we keep going round and round in circles going nowhere, never able to feel the love that is our natural essence. The understanding you mentioned allows and accepts people where they are which also has transformed all my relationships too. Thank you for your beautiful sharing Carolien.
How wonderful it is to be able to see past the veils no matter how many layers there are, to the beauty and preciousness that is there in everyone of us. Thank-you Jaqueline for expressing this lovely insight you recognised within your mother and within us all.
This is a beautiful article. I particularly feel the truth of where you say “Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.” When we are free of all the unloving choices then the true love that we all are is there to be felt.
It is lovely to feel the acceptance you have for your mother despite her choices and what you may have felt growing up. The analogy of being able to see under the veil is really lovely.
So much wisdom in your blog Jacqueline. I found your comment ‘Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.’ to particularly resonate with me. It is something that I will take with me into the day ahead as a gentle reminder that I have all ‘the answers’ within me if I stick with simplicity and not fall into the trap of creating complications. Thank you to you and your mother.
Jacqueline as I was about to write this comment on your blog a dragonfly flew into the room and hovered in front of my computer screen as if reading your blog. How is that for a confirmation!
Your mother is just like us all, our essence is pure and the harmony is there for us all to claim when we so choose it.
Wow, Alison, the magic of God flying in your window, how beautiful and yes very confirming!
I love these Magic of God Symbols everywhere for us to see and learn from.
Wow that’s gorgeous Alison. The dragonfly probably told all his other friends about it and I bet their planning a trip to Scotland to go visit the angel.
So very playful Madeline, and made me laugh. I will keep a look out for those dragonfly friends!
Beautifully expressed Anne-Marie. I love how these blogs and comments can bring such a deep level of healing to us all – “We all feel so much but we have not yet learned how to embrace and live this sensitivity and preciousness. By denying this we are allowing so much devastation to continue. I am deeply grateful to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who present that there is another way. That connecting to this preciousness is the only true way that humanity can heal their hurts and live as equal loving human beings”.
Such a deeply touching blog Jacqueline. It has brought me to tears this evening. Feeling the preciousness of my mother and how she veiled her sensitivity with alcohol and many other people I know with myself included, for many years. We all feel so much but we have not yet learned how to embrace and live this sensitivity and preciousness. By denying this we are allowing so much devastation to continue. I am deeply grateful to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who present that there is another way. That connecting to this preciousness is the only true way that humanity can heal their hurts and live as equal loving human beings.
Well said Anne-Marie, I love what you said, ‘We all feel so much but we have not yet learned how to embrace and live this sensitivity and preciousness’ I feel for myself that i am still unfolding this sensitivity and preciousness within me, it is a claiming of that part of me that is there, but getting back in touch with it is a constant awakening and building of awareness. .
I love what you have expressed here Ann-Marie; ‘ We all feel so much but we have not yet learned how to embrace and live this sensitivity and preciousness. By denying this we are allowing so much devastation to continue’. What strikes me is this devastation that we ourselves create can make us feel so lost that we go into the ‘giving up’ on life and on ourselves. And mostly the only way to break out of this ‘giving up energy’, is when life presents us with something that really shakes us, for example an illness or disease or a relationship break-up which often provides the big ‘stop’ moment to reflect and reassess ones lifestyle choices. I have come to understand that life and all it presents to me, (including those shake-ups, and I’ve had many…) is an opportunity for me to evolve.
Thank you Jacqueline this was such a beautiful blog to read, I love the truth in the following words you wrote. ‘I wrote this article about my mother, but the truth is, it could be anyone’s mother, sister, daughter or best friend. When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and in truth, we are all that.’ That amazing love and preciousness resides in everyone of us man, woman and child and no matter what happens it never leaves, the opportunity to reconnect is forever there just waiting, how beautiful and loving is that?
It is absolutely gorgeous to know and hold this in your body. To hold a beauty so great and grand that nothing on this planet can compare.
I loved reading your blog Jaqueline I could feel how your visit was a real coming home in so many ways. I could very much relate to what you had written, letting go of any judgement I have about my mother has been very healing as I learn to appreciate her without feeling I need her to change.
” It is much easier to hold our parents ransom then what it is to stop and recognise that nothing is holding us back but ourselves. ” oh so true Martin. I played the blame game for most of my life,it wasn’t until I attended my first Universal Medicine event with Serge Benhayon that I too became aware that I and I alone was responsible for how I was feeling and the direction my life had taken. Fortunately I realised the truth of it all and the relationship with my Mum developed lovingly from distant to close and I came to appreciate my Mum for who she truly was before her passing in 2010.
God bless all the Angels who have forgotten they are angels.
I love re-visiting this blog Jacqueline – it constantly inspires and reminds me that there is an angel within in every person I meet on a day to day basis; and to meet them with this awareness, changes everything about the communication and interaction with them.
” I love re-visiting this blog Jacqueline – it constantly inspires and reminds me that there is an angel within in every person I meet on a day to day basis; and to meet them with this awareness, changes everything about the communication and interaction with them.” here here Stephanie, thank you.
I am deeply touched by your blog Jacqueline, and can feel a sadness in me as I think about my Mum. I can feel in your story the inspiration to see beyond the outer veil and connect to the beautiful, sensitive and loving woman that she naturally is. Thank you.
I relate to the experience of allowing myself to see past the behaviors that family members adopted as a protection from life and beginning to appreciate more deeply who they are. As you say…love never leaves us, we leave it, sometime for what seem to be very good reasons but we leave it none the less.
Jacqueline, this was so precious and tender to read. I felt my own mother reading this, her own preciousness and sweetness and the immense love that she innately has which is our true home as you say. Regardless of how far we go, how much we choose to leave that place of tender sweet love within, our love is always residing within, waiting for us to choose it.
I am also taking off the veil and also the role of mother that I have put on my mother and starting to see her for the woman that she is. Only seeing her as my mother does not do her any justice, because she is, like me, so much more than that. Taking away the roles, like being a mother and a daughter, opens the door to true intimacy and allows me to get to know my mother for the woman that she truly is.
Thank you Jacqueline your writing touched my heart, I thought of my own mother who died two years ago in a car accident. And the light and love that she was and brought to many people. I see this love and light in all, and as I connect more to the tenderness I am as a man, I see all men in this way. Even the so-called rough and tough men, I see how deeply sensitive and caring they are under the thin layers of hurt and protection.
Hi Thomas, from you words I could feel the tender, gentle man you are, and what a lovely reflection you are for all the men you meet, including the so-called rough and tough men, because yes, they too are deeply sensitive men which they hide because the world asks them to be something else; to be macho and hard.
I feel like I know your mother through your blog, Jacqueline. You have quite magically shown us the angel within, presenting how it is so often covered over with a fog of emotion and destructive patterns that can be seen through by loving accepting eyes.
“Smoking and drinking alcohol and the ugly emotions and drama that go with alcohol took my mother away from her true home, her inner heart, where her preciousness, her delicateness and her love resides, always.”
This sentence that you wrote, reminds me of many beautiful women I know.
Yes Rosie. Many truly beautiful women who do not see or recognise the beauty that they naturally are and thus choose to abuse their tender bodies with alcohol, smoking and other vices…. the fallout of which confirms back to them the belief they hold that they’re not actually beautiful and that they don’t deserve love. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Amazing for you to feel what has always been there in your mum but you have not always been aware of, and what a difference it made. For me this really stands out ” It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures”. How often do we tell ourselves or others that things we feel to be harmful on our bodies are just our ‘treat’. In doing so we lie to ourselves and often others.
A most heart-warming blog Jacqueline; one that has definitely lifted a few veils for me, giving me a much deeper insight, not only into the life of my mother , but also into mine. I have loved the gradual lifting of the veils that kept me numb for so long, and I now choose to live a love-filled life that is deeply inspired by the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, as you and many others have been.
Our relationships with our mothers form the basis of our relationships with all as it is our first.
When these precious women are living in a way that is not honouring of the true beauty that resides within, that is what we get to feel. Consequently boy or girl, we don’t get the full picture and most of us accept this as normal and make the choice to keep living that way.
Jacqueline your article is a reminder that we can all get bogged down with the heaviness of life and what we think we have to do to get through, but when we let all that go and reconnect to that true beauty that is in us all we can allow ourselves to let it out and boy, what a difference that makes!
Jacqueline so beautiful that you can see your mother for who she truly is. As I read I felt that no matter what choices we make they do not define who we are, that the essence remains unchanged. Though it is our responsibility to live in accordance to who we truly are so the world may see and feel this.
A beautiful shared experience with my mother yesterday – I hugged her and for a few seconds she kept chatting and I said gently: “I would love to just enjoy a hug with you”. It was an amazing moment, my mother stopped, agreed and we enjoyed a silent, warm hug together in the moment. My mother then said “this is so lovely, it feels I can rest fully in this”. This brought tears to my eyes – a precious and sacred moment of joy together.
As I read your comment Stephanie, I could really feel the precious and sacred moment of joy you shared with your mother. And I love how simple it was to ask: ‘I would love to just enjoy a hug with you’. I feel inspired to also express this to whoever when the moment feels right, to do so rather than leaving it unexpressed.
This is such a moment of preciousness – it is so easy to not fully appreciate one moment for turning it into the next or for doing something else at the same time. To be able to call this out and enjoy it for all that it is is beautiful and as you have shown will be felt by everyone.
This is such a great reminder that no matter what act we put on, no matter what we do to ourselves, underlying there is still love and preciousness
A beautiful article Jacqueline. “Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.” Its beautiful to feel that love when the veils are pulled aside.
Jacqueline – what a beautiful perceptiveness of the truth of who we all are behind the hardened veils of our poisons. That you could see beyond the obvious visual is awesomely inspiring. Thank you.
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all”
I chose to leave self responsibility & love on a shelf somewhere, I left home but the remarkable and simple truth is that home never left me and now as I begin to rebuild these shelved tools back into my life – love has returned.
Thank-you Jacqueline.
Jacqueline, there is so much beauty in this blog – thankyou for sharing and reminding me.
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.”
It is such an important reminder especially where family is involved.
•how disconnected she was from herself and her body
•the disregard and neglect of herself as a woman
•how she let people walk all over her
•and how hard she pushed her body.
Dear Jacqueline, you could be talking about my mother. I have never had a close relationship with my mother and have always blamed her for MY life and judged her for how she lives HER life. I am now beginning to look deeper at myself and starting to take responsibility knowing that she is reflecting my own judgement back to me and to let go of the blame. I recently attended the funeral of my aunt, my mother had written a beautiful, touching piece about their childhood and upbringing in the countryside, I began to see her in a different light, gentle, tender and a very loving woman, and totally accepting of me. Maybe she’s an angel too and I just havn’t seen it!
Sounds to me Sandra you are seeing through those veils, seeing and feeling your mother in a different light, a blessing for you both.
This is such a gorgeous article to read Jacqueline, ‘When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and in truth, we are all that.’ much to ponder on here, thank you.
I have read your blog several times now Jaqueline and each time my eyes fill with tears of joy and love.
What you have written about your Mum is so beautiful and so honouring of her as the precious, tender woman that she is.
I love the way you see beyond the alcohol, smokes and emotions.
I’m sure you are an angel to her.
‘It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures.’ How true this statement is Jacqueline. I too have played this game in the past with chocolate, sugar, alcohol to name just a few poisons which I passionately defended as pleasures, while all the timing knowing how awful my body felt after ingesting them. And fascinating too how normalized the use of these harmful stimulants and suppressants are in our society today. It’s like you’re not considered ‘normal’ unless you drink alcohol and coffee etc., even though there is lots of information available about the detrimental effects on the body and wellbeing.
I overheard a woman in conversation today at a café. She was explaining to a young child that around 60% of the human body is made up of water, but noted that she was an exception to this rule because her body was made up of 50% coffee and 30% alcohol and only a little bit of water. While the statement was obviously intended to be a joke, I couldn’t help but feel some sadness at the perpetuation of this harmful cultural norm.
Your article touched me very deeply, Jacqueline. It is never too late to come home, as far as we may have strayed away. I have observed a lot on elder people if you meet them from a place of preciousness and love, immediately there is the spark of joy and knowing in their eyes about their home. Regardless of what they have dumped onto their bodies during life. It is worth remembering each other of that home.
It feels the gift we give to others is just being ourselves, just being love, as others receive this reflection and it is how we assist others to remember their true home, as you mentioned Sonja.
Take Me Home…. only 3 words but they convey so much, echo so much, I agree Marika, as I felt the power and the tenderness of them when that was the only thought running through my body that day on the plane…that was the moment I began heading home, and the veils began to drop one by one…and continue to drop.
‘Take me home’…such a simple phrase, but echoes so much in those 3 words.
Home…that deep connection within that connects us all.
I love the analogy of veils that we shroud ourselves with. Those veils conceal our beauty from the world, and equally conceal it from ourselves.
But all we need to do is remove them, one by one, until such time that the ever present beauty of us is there for all to see, including ourselves.
No matter how intense that concealing thing is, steely hardness, drinking, smoking, fury, even false niceness, it is no more than a veil over the deep beauty that is our home.
As you have so beautiful expressed Jacqueline, this inner light is our home, and it is a home that never leaves us. We try to leave it, but in fact we never can – it is always there, awaiting our full return.
Jacqueline,thank you for sharing the changes you saw in your lovely mother, and the true person she really was, when coming back to love.
It’s wonderful that you pointed out that, ” … the time and space she has now to ‘be’ with herself is something she’s never had before.” … don’t we often create or allow a life that is too busy, just so that we find it difficult to have the time to ‘be’ with ourselves? Why do we do that? I remember having it as a child and how much more I felt like ‘me’. I’ll now be pondering on this and ensuring that I am with ‘me’ again all the time!
Yes, we often do create a life that is too busy and jam packed full. I was so good at this, my father called me the ‘road runner’… Always ruuning around, always in the ‘doing’. Why do we do this you asked. I did so as not to feel that I, me and myself left home in the first place and had no clue whatsoever on how to return, having invested in searching outside of myself ( new age stuff) that only took me further and further away from home.
I am deeply touched by your article Jacqueline. It feels very universal in that you could indeed be talking about anyone’s mother or any woman in the world for that matter. It certainly made me stop and feel huge appreciation for my own mother and for women in general.
Thank you Elizabeth. Appreciating your own mother is truly healing I found on so many levels. And yes it is gorgeous when we begin to appreciate all other women.
Indeed the blog gives a very powerful reflection to the love that we always are despite ill choices we make, it even applies to men too!
That’s a beautiful blog Jacqueline, I can relate to it with my mother. She didn’t drink or smoked but hardened just the same with life style choices, food and prescription medication. She lived seven years longer than my father and in that time she also softened and became more at peace with herself.
Thank you again for such an inspiring and tender blog about your mother. If I can only let go of all the past and see through the veil that clouds my vision I too can see people for who they truly are and not all the ‘stuff’ of life that can get in the way. It feels as though we know deep down that there is a beautiful soul to be seen and felt in everyone that we meet, but that at times we can allow the outside world to get to us and undermine our true feelings, and it is then that I find I am then putting more importance on the outside world rather than the truth that I feel within.
Hi Susan, I feel completely free of my past having made the commitment and the time to truly heal my child hood hurts, which has brought me so many blessings in the transformation I have seen in myself. In having a deeper sense of self love and appreciation for myself, this provides me with an understanding and clarity of my past choices, which in turn allows me to accept others and thier choices with more clarity and hence see through the veils…
Jacqueline, your blog teaches us all how seeing behind a person’s life choices, behind the wall of protection and by letting go of judgment and accepting a person for where they are at, is so much more healing for them then for us to impose our ideals. And as you experienced with your Mother, we experience a blessing as we connect to the real person and not a construct that has been built up to get through life. This blessing helps us to deconstruct our own protection mechanisms and let ourselves be loved and to love others truly.
Well said Zoe. ” Jacqueline, your blog teaches us all how seeing behind a person’s life choices, behind the wall of protection and by letting go of judgment and accepting a person for where they are at, is so much more healing for them, then for us to impose our ideals.” And as we do this with ourselves it becomes some much easier to do with others.
Jacqueline I have just returned from staying with my 91year old father who lives on the other side of the continent. Reading your blog this morning reminded me of a precious moment. I was sitting watching the Australian Open tennis with him on TV and as I allowed myself to become fully still and present to the moment, it wasn’t about the tennis, it was about appreciation and love, treasuring this moment with him and my sisters, and each day afterwards was no longer about what to do, but simply being present.
My father is over 80 now…he has had a hard life and now is dealing with illness. There are 2 moments of connection that I have had with my father that I will never forget…both experiences where I met my father without any judgement for his choices, but simply a loving meeting of souls…a gentle stroke of my hand on his hand was all it took on one occasion. For most of my fathers’ life he drank alcohol & so I never got to see & feel the essence of his sweetness & tenderness, but in these 2 moments I saw and felt the essence of sweetness that my father is…so so beautiful to feel.
Yes- it’s amazing Marika and Bernadette. My Father recently shared so much about his youth when I remained present with him – things about which I had no idea and which explained so much about how he conducted himself through life. It opened up a well of compassion and a complete removal of judgement about his current choices. They all seemed so logical in light of what happened earlier for him. Letting go of roles, stereotypes and assumptions just leaves us all open to understanding and love for each other.
I have had a similar experience with my 90+ year old mother – just enjoying being present together, opened up a conversation about things in her childhood that I had no idea about. “It opened up a well of compassion and a complete removal of judgement about his (her) current choices”. A very healing moment for both of us.
Appreciation, love and treasuring those magic moments with family, feels to me what life is all about. Thank you Bernadette for your lovely sharing.
Reading your blog it was truly evident that you held no judgement over your mother’s choices. Allowing ourselves to be understanding to another’s choices is a powerful tool in not absorbing life’s emotions. When people are ready, the choice to connect back to the love they truly are awaits within them. I find it so beautiful that this love is always there, no matter what choices have been made or for how long.
Thank you Jacqueline – it is a revelation to feel that we are all the same on the inside. That love, warmth and abundance of care lies deep within everyone. We may not choose to feel it or express in that way all the time, and that is for each of us to feel why that may be – something I know I am exploring for myself, and loving what I am exposing along the way.
This is a beautiful reminder Amelia, ‘it is a revelation to feel that we are all the same on the inside. That love, warmth and abundance of care lies deep within everyone’.
Thank you Jacqueline for sharing with such love. On reading your words I found myself removing all the veils from my Mum and truly feeling and seeing the beautiful Woman underneath them she was. Very healing and so beautiful to feel all of her.
What a lovely blog.
This is beautiful to read Jaqueline, thank you. When we allow ourselves to look passed all the layers that we have accumulated over the years to cope with life, there is an absolute beauty and a preciousness to find in all of us, and with a little practice we can actually learn to see this beauty and preciousness first and always in each person.
I agree with you wholeheartedly Esther –
“there is an absolute beauty and a preciousness to find in all of us, and with a little practice we can actually learn to see this beauty and preciousness first and always in each person.
As I bring this practice into my everyday life, all the preconceived ideas and judgements are fading away, bringing an even deeper appreciation of the true essence within every person I am blessed to meet.
What a beautiful reminder that life is about love and only love!!!
This is truly beautiful, thank you and I can so relate to it. We are all, in essence the same.
Deeply beautiful sharing Jacqueline. I often look at my own mother and I too know and feel her true presence to be angelic. I have a photo of her holding me when I was born and every time I look at it, it reminds me of her warm and gentle nature. Over the years I have lost a true connection with my mother. Our interactions have become more mechanical, even though we love each other dearly and are both such beautiful delicate women. Your blog served to remind me of how much I want to reignite that connection, and I know this must start with how I am with myself. Thanks Jacqueline for your inspiration.
This is really touching and so gently and lovingly written. When we drop the judgement of another and look deeper into them and the being underneath the layers of life, it is divine creatures we find residing there.
How amazing when we manage to lift the veils and see a persons true beauty and delicateness underneath. This requires a deep understanding of that person and it is so beautiful to feel this in your writing.
Thank-you Jacqueline, a most beautiful blog. And what a gift it is for us to see the truth of another through our own tender loving eyes, that goes beyond their life choices and right to the essence of them.
Wow, wow, wow. This blog touched me deeply. To see people, all people, in this way is powerful as you don’t get caught up in all their outer protections and behaviours, you cut right through to their heart. This feels very beautiful and accepting of the glory that is held deep within all of us, equally. I am inspired to focus on being this way as much as possible until it becomes my living way. Thank you Jacqueline for presenting what you have here as I feel like I have been invited to share with you this loving way of being.
Thank you Jacqueline for sharing your touching and insight-full blog – brings us back to our deeper awareness as a reminder to whom we know that we all truly are within.
We definitely all have vices we use to cover ourselves up and hide whats going on. Its lovely to hear about your relationship with your mother now. I have found that pretty much everyone uses things to cover up their emotions. Its just the level of this might be different though, and they use different things- Say one might use alcohol, one might over eat and one might be super fit, healthy and body conscious. One of these is seemingly more abusive then the other but for the purpose of that person it is all the same. Jacqueline, I reckon you can definitely lead by example in this area- Seeing people for who they are and how cuddly they are – not just what they have chosen to do. If this was the case with everyone, we would have a lot less judgement.
So many of us have believed that to work hard means you push hard and overwork. How stunning is it that you can see that this and the harming effects it has taken on your mother’s physical body has nothing to do with who she is. It’s very empowering and freeing, for both parties, to view another in this way.
I loved this and yes was thinking of my own mother as I was reading. Most of us live in a way that masks who we truly are as woman to the world and yet we are innately gorgeous and beautiful and hold divine qualities that the world desperately needs like sweetness, playfulness, cheekiness, honesty, care, delicateness, gentleness to name but a few.
Thank you for a great reminder that when I look at my mother I see the firm exterior. But what lies beneath is a tender and dearly loving and nurturing women.
I could feel as I was reading this Jacqueline that a part of returning to this ‘home’ was also about choosing to see yourself as precious and delicate just as you saw your mother. How revealing then is it that how we hold ourselves is equally how we hold another
Jacqueline this is beautiful and timely. I too am learning to see underneath the veils and what amazing beauty lives there
There is so much love in this blog. A gentleness and acceptance of who we truly are regardless of our ‘pleasures’. Thank you Jacqueline.
Beautiful example of the fact that we can leave our inner “home” but it never leaves us. So it is always awaiting us to simply come back.
Thank you Alex – That’s all love does is wait, and wait, and wait some more for us to return home. Love does not Judge, cannot jugde, no matter how lost or alone we have been, no matter what we have chosen, no matter what we have done, love still waits and always with open arms, like the way one comes home in the winter to a warm glowing, welcoming fire.
What a beautiful story Jacqueline and the love for your mother feels so lovely.
I in particular like your comment “When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and in truth, we are all that” I will revisit this comment to support my journey of knowing my own beauty, thank you for sharing your story and for your love of people.
When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and truely, we are all that.
Jacqueline -your expression in this blog has really touched me. I recently visited my mum who I see 2-3 times a year. I was aware this time of her vulnerability and fragility. As she has aged many of her ideals and beliefs seem to have dropped away and in this fragility I can feel more clarity in who she truly is. At times I felt quite tearful around her as I connected to my own fragility and realised that I was loving her so unconditionally. It felt gorgeous to be there.
Jaqueline, reading your article makes me feel closer to my own mother and to recall how I used to feel ‘at home’ just being around her and when in our family home. As I grew, that feeling of being ‘at home’ became less reliably provided by being around mom or our house, and that felt lonely and cold and sad – until I realized that my true home was always just right inside of me. Now I can feel at home anywhere and anytime, just be being connected to my own heart.
Deborah – a beautiful realisation and reminder of a simple truth in life of this inner connection with oneself and thus the all –
“I realized that my true home was always just right inside of me. Now I can feel at home anywhere and anytime, just be being connected to my own heart.”
Thank you!
What a beautiful gift you have given your mother (and yourself). To see through what is presented in the outer veils to see what is truly your mother is very gorgeous. I can deeply feel how much you love your Mother.
Thank you, Jaqueline. Like you I was able to see and connect with the immense beauty and tenderness in my mother at some point in my life. When I started loving myself more and living from the wisdom of my heart and body, I was able to connect with her on a completely different level. I know she felt the love and the understanding which allowed her to connect more with herself as well as trusting more sharing her feelings with me. It is truly magical and yet that simple.
A very deeply touching contribution about our innate beauty and preciousness, no matter what kind of façade we adopt and present to the world as a reaction to our hurts.
No matter what kind of facade we adopt and present to the world, it is worth remembering that it is all a reaction to our unresolved hurts… So true Gabriele.
Jacqueline I love this blog, as soon as I started to read your words about your mother being an angel, I thought of my mum, this made me smile.
Thank you Jaqueline, its a great thing that below our veils as everyone is wearing we are all the true beauty we’ve always been.
Jacqueline the love you have for your mother is so deeply touching. I love how you share her story with such love and understanding, goes to show how important it is to love ourselves, because without this love first it is very difficult to understand when another does not. With that understanding we support another to re-turn to the love they are without it, we confirm the lovelessness and so on and so on will the cycle go. Thank you for turning the cycle around.
The shining light of who we really are is able to beam when we let go of all of those things that numb, distract and dull us.
What a lovely sharing Jacqueline. It reminds me of all the years I drank alcohol. We trick ourselves that it’s ok to drink such a thing and it’s one of life’s treasures. It’s not until we truly give it up that we learn the real truth behind the trick. For some they let the alcohol play out the trick for most of their living lives and then it’s too late. And yet, this is still accepted as okay.
I have become very aware how families bring up all our emotional reactions, and that is because we are so connected to them through circumstance and a certain degree of intimacy. They remain a big influence in our lives, and we often remain attached to our emotions because it is too hurtful and difficult to let them go. However, when we take the opportunity to let go of that attachment and see a member of a family for who she or he is, as you have so beautifully done Jacqueline, a whole new way of relating opens up to us, and we and they are free of all those uncomfortable and difficult situations. So families are great because if we don’t run away from them, our deepest learning is there, and a wonderful healing is always taking place.
Very beautiful, and tender blog Jacqueline . What resonates with me is:-
“Love never leaves us , it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all”-
So before we judge another it is a great reminder of truth .
Your story has touched me very deeply and I will reflect upon the many layers of your reflection as I go about my day. With appreciation Jacqueline.
What you have shared in your article is gorgeous Jacqueline. It’s interesting that we refer to the things that harm us the most as pleasures. Maybe we should call them relievers?
It always fascinated me that in school I was taught that alcohol is a poison yet it is allowed because its accepted by so many people in our society.
I smoked for years before I stopped. From my experience I can say that today I can see and feel much more and better than I ever could. I love being me as natural I am.
A beautiful and touching sharing Jacqueline, reminding us all to look more deeply beneath the apparent surface and behaviour, of anyone in our lives.
Jacqueline, its so true, there is something so wonderfully magical that happens when we remain open to others and have no expectations or need for them to be or act in any way other than as they are. As you say the ‘veils’ lift, the somewhat hard, rough exterior crumbles and the true glowing gem inside is revealed. Thank you.
It is so beautiful that you can see your mum for who she really is and understand what has happened for her. It is so beautiful to read this and feel what love is. Inside of us all.
“Without the alcohol, there was not one selfish bone in her body: my mother is as precious and delicate as a soft rose petal blowing gently in the wind.” Jacqueline, how gorgeous you see this in your mother, right behind the veil she chooses to wear. This is an inspiring reflection for us all. Thank you.
“But as I shared that very precious time with my mother I saw that she too had simply made choices as I had done.” I had a moment of deep appreciation for some one recently, who I have occasionally had issues with, it knocked all of them out of the water, so to speak and I just felt love and appreciation. It was an awesome moment and could feel the difference between peoples choices and their actual essence and who they truly are. In doing so I felt I reconnected to my own essence on a deeper level also. Thank you for sharing such an honest and thoughtful blog.
Beautiful sharing Samantha, which just shows that when we connect on a deeper level to our own essence, how much love and understanding there is for self and others.
So beautiful Jacqueline and so very true, what you have shared about your mother, can be applied to all of us. How have we protected, been in disregard, but learning to reconnect to that flower within.
Jacqueline, the thought when we drop our veils and see the beauty and precious women who we truly are we have a daily reflection in others of our own beauty and preciousness, is awesome as it connects me back to the truth in people and in myself.
A very beautiful article. Also I am so glad to have read this today as I have been reflecting and feeling my parents, especially my mother, on their lives in the past and now. I have been feeling their fragility (in their old age) and preciousness, just as you described, “Beautiful Flower, Beautiful Angel”. Thank you for writing this Jacqueline.
This is the way we would all like to be seen, to be seen for who we are beyond all the things we choose to ‘get by’ and avoid feeling the loss of our home. It’s a great reminder to us all that the same loveliness is within us too.
Jacqueline thank you for such a beautiful and insightful article. I loved how you realised all the angels in your mother’s living room were symbols of her and how you were able to connect with her reality at such a deep level and then where that took you in your relationship with her. A very healing and inspiring article.
Last night on delivering some shopping items to my mother, I sat and chatted with her for a short while in her sitting room. The room felt cosy and warm and very neat and orderly. I suddenly felt this huge love for the beautiful and amazing woman she is at age 90. The work with various Universal Medicine practitioners and attending presentations with Serge Benhayon has supported me to let go of all the blame I used to hold against her and now enjoy celebrating who she is, in truth.
Such a beautiful tender blog Jacqueline, seeing the truth through the veils without judgement – you allowed yourself the space to see the pure Angel that had always been your mother.
Thank you Jacqueline. I recently spent time with my mother and read your blog many times prior to my visit.
your experience has been instrumental in me allowing myself to see it was possible to let go of the judgments I held against my mother, to ‘see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another.’
My relationship is very very different, I am able to be so much more loving. I did not like being critical, it felt awful.
Thank you Karin. Reading your comment makes me very happy that I shared my experience and that it has supported you to see the beautiful woman your mother truly is… and perhaps you may find a deeper tenderness with yourself… for when I stopped judging my mother, I was less judgemental towards myself.
Love is all around us, we just need to catch it and embrace it, as it is a precious gift that we do not want to lose.
What a beautiful way to express how you feel about your mother Jacqueline, without judgement for her habits, but instead appreciating her many qualities. You have woven a truth about what home really is into your mother’s story, and this was also very lovely to feel.
This is such a beautiful sharing and also a reminder that we are always able to feel the love and preciousness within each other simply by choosing to connect to ourselves and eachother.
Thank you Jacqueline. You have shown us that when we accept and love ourselves, we become more accepting and loving of others.
What a healing for yourself and your Mother. As you say “Love never leaves us, it is us who choose to leave home, the home that rests deep within us all.” How True this is.
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all” – this is a really powerful statement Jacqueline
This is so true, Jacqueline, that when we look behind the outer layers/veils “what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and in truth, we are all that.” Beautifully expressed.
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all” Beautiful article about how we can come home as you say is in our inner heart. To appreciate who we are is opening up the door to see that we are from love and that there is no one who is not. Your article is truly precious and delicate as you are, as we all are. Thanks for coming back home Jacqueline
Jacqueline, this is such an open, honest and tender contribution and it reminded me of my mother especially, who became more and more isolated and withdrawn from life and also used distractions such as alcohol and cigarettes to substitute what she felt she couldn’t give herself and wasn’t getting from others. I could always feel her deep loneliness and quiet despair as she sat there deep into the night, night after night. And in many if not all ways I did the same, just in a manner that at the time felt different but really wasn’t at all: I drank in company and I used to smoke a lot of cigarettes, never questioning why these addictions had taken such a strong hold of me. Your blog is deeply insightful and very healing, thank you.
Thank you for your honest sharing Gabriele and is a great point you highlight, that we think we are different from our parents until we take a closer look only to find, ‘that at the time felt differently but really wasn’t at all’. I know this well…I was doing much better than my parents, or so I thought, only to realise later, there was no difference in my behaviour to numb and check-out!
It is amazing how well we know how to lessen ourselves. Seeing your mother as an angel is a true appreciation of you seeing her without all the unloving choices she has made. Sometimes I feel it is easier to see this in others than it is to see it in ourselves.That we can be our own worst judges and critics and make harmful choices to confirm this. But there is something to be said to not accepting this anymore, for choosing love and for claiming our choice. How beautiful would that be – that people could see themselves in all the beauty that others do. True equality!
Great points Doug: “how can a poison be a pleasure?” – great question, and something that we ALL need to answer for ourselves and for humanity – why have we allowed smoking, alcohol, ‘comfort food’ etc pleasures? when in reality they do anything but please the body. What then do they please?
Brilliant blog Jacqueline – I completely agree: “It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures”. I have done this in the past to justify why I am doing something, even if I know it is not healthy or does not make me feel good. But if we stopped to see why we need these things in our daily life, why we use the poisons, then maybe we could be open to not choosing them, and instead returning to the inner-home you describe. We do not get this same opportunity through justifying our harmful choices.
Great point Jessica, asking ourselves the question, why we need these things is the stop moment to reflect on our choices, why have the poisons become a habit, which could open the possibility to maybe making different choices.
Jacqueline a wonderful blog about your mother. Where would we be without our mothers? They bring us into this world, nurture us for many years, they are there when we need them to wipe away our tears and fears.
All I can say is LONG LIVE THE MOTHERS OF THIS WORLD.
I feel it’s quite beautiful for a man to openly honour mothers, it’s much needed.
Thank you Mike.
I am still enjoying re-reading this blog – the depth of tenderness in the writing is amazing and beautiful to feel . Most inspiring!
It is amazing how people do not truly honour themselves when they are in a relationship. I have observed how much compromise there can be and lack of honest expression or a true growing together. Reading your article I felt this again how when you went home you noticed how your mother had changed the furniture and house and it felt cosier and warmer. It reminds me of the importance of honouring ourselves and what we feel the whole time whether we are in a relationship or not.
This is so lovely. It struck a chord in me about how easy it is to stop seeing each other once we hit upon something that we consider “bad” or level some kind of judgement about. Sometimes we just stop there and that is the tag we tie around each others’ neck. But how much more are we missing! The depth of joy that we all have within is far greater than what shows on our face or what things we have done in the past. Our beauty is always there.
So beautiful to read this and all the comments. I completely concur with what you are sharing. We can easily cast judgement and then “that is the tag that we tie around each other’s neck”, and the very thing that ties us down and holds us back from being that beauty in the world. We are our own worst enemies in this regard. We stop ourselves from feeling that beauty and living freely who we naturally are.
Hi Naren, great point you raise, and I can see I was always in judgement about my mother’s drinking, thinking somehow she was less than me because of what she was choosing…and so being in judgement you cannot see anything deeper only what is on the outside. Her (our) beauty was always there, and as you wrote; “The depth of joy that we all have within is far greater than what shows on our face or what things we have done in the past”.
Beautiful Jacqueline. Yes it’s so easy to judge someone because of their behaviour. And then we miss out on the depth of relationship that is possible.
Yes Rebecca, and that makes me realise how much depth we miss in many things in our lives when we just take everything at its face value, what we think we see, rather than stepping back and observing, and letting that person or image or situation come to us, and receive what else is there to be felt.
This really struck a chord with me too Naren – “how easy it is to stop seeing each other once we hit upon something that we consider “bad” or level some kind of judgement about”. I know I used to judge and blame my mother for not meeting my criteria of the picture I had of how a mother should be. When attending Universal Medicine presentations, I discovered it was the things I could not accept about myself that I put out onto her to avoid feeling this in me. OUCH! How painful and diminishing is the web we weave to hide and not feel our pain, diminishing others in the process.
“I discovered it was the things I could not accept about myself that I put out onto her to avoid feeling this in me”! Spot on Stephanie, I recognize this trait too, this ‘web that we weave’, so as not to feel our own pain and our own deep hurts. It is a great honest exposure.
Thank you Jacqueline – I know now that being Honest is the only way to truly heal, however uncomfortable it is as the truth is revealed….there is always so much more joy to feel once it has processed.
Naren I agree, its quite easy to stop seeing the great things in people when they have done something we perceive as bad. With that judgement we can easily miss the real depth of who they are. A lovely article to remind me of that.
Beautiful testimonial about your mam, Jacqueline. I love your: It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures. For therein lies the problem, showing how very easily we deceive and fool ourselves so that we do not have to take responsibility for ‘our choices’ and the damage we do to our own bodies. Beautiful how you remind us of our own responsibility and choices, And like you wrote: it is never too late.
Thanks Monika , and yes it is never too late to take responsibility and choose differently.
Jacqueline coming back and reading your blog again I can feel how it’s for all of us. There is a real tenderness in what you’ve shared yet great strength at the same time. It touched me deeply how many changes have happened and the love you see is there behind the masks and vails. Yet these vails are the things we say are our pleasures – ironic that we claim certain pleasures like drinking, foods etc., when many mask the real us.
Jacqueline thank you for this very tender blog about your relationship with your mother and her relationship with alcohol. The understanding you bring and the way you expressed it here is beautiful.
I agree Rosanna – On re-reading this blog today, once again I am deeply touched by Jacqueline’s understanding expressed with such depth and love and tenderness.
Jacqueline I love what you share “Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.”
I just love your blog Jacqueline, its very confirming to know love never leaves us and that it is us that choose to leave love. Making it only just a choice away to return when we choose to.
This is truly beautiful Kevin and Jacqueline, ‘love never leaves us, it is us that choose to leave love’, it’s great to have this reminder and to take responsibility for this.
Jaqueline, I love the gentleness and understanding with which you have written this blog. It was beautiful that you were able to see past the veils that your mother surrounded herself with, and see the angel that has always been there.
Your article is deeply touching, Jacqueline. The love and understanding you hold for your mother is beautiful. I can’t detect any judgement from you about the choices she made or how they effected you as a child. I love the way you describe love as being at home, because for me that’s exactly how it feels. When I am connected to myself, I feel the love inside and I feel I have come home. When I am disconnected I feel all at sea and lost. I know that I will re-read this blog again.
Absolutely Amina, we can choose the quality that we choose to live responsibly in.
Deeply moving story.
How we choose to carry beliefs and roles which bury that precious delicateness we all have deep inside of us. How devastating that we choose to leave our home.
But very inspiring that as you say, all it takes is for us to see past the outer veils that we choose to wear, and appreciate the beauty and preciousness in each and everyone of us. Then we know that we never went anywhere and our home has been with us and in fact within us – all along!
Thank you for this blog. I feel for me that this is also a wonderful nudge toward appreciating those that are around me today – family, friends and strangers. Taking a moment to appreciate them all individually and them all as a whole.
I was genuinely stopped when reading this. Just sitting here and trying to figure out why…. it’s the incredible tenderness with which you write about your Mum’s life. No judgement, simply understanding. And as a result everything else drops away and I get the strong feeling of her in her essence. That is such a gift – thank you.
I agree. The tenderness can get everything out of the way. It stops me when I am reading it, and reminds me, for when I am with my mother, to commit to that same tenderness, which I find hard in the face of similar ‘veils’ so perfectly described in this article. Thank you Jacqueline for inspiring me.
As a mother I am working with letting go the layers of protection I have shown the world so that I can become the angel I am for all to see, including my daughter and son. Slowly it is unfolding, and I feel much more open to everyone, but more so to my children who I seem to have protected myself from more than anyone else. I feel very blessed to be able to share and enjoy this process together. Allowing my children to see my vulnerability has been the hardest thing of all.
Joan, thank you for sharing with such openness, your vulnerability is totally beautiful and a joy to read and feel.
It is beautiful and lovely to read this again. What stands out for me this time is “Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.” It has been such a huge change around in my life to realise and accept that and to stop blaming others and/or the world. It is so empowering.
You summed up my thoughts and feelings exactly Jonathan.
Such a tender and beautiful piece; a joy to read.
Jacqueline, so true what you share ‘love never leaves us’. As a daughter growing up, I recall how hard my mother worked to provide for us. Her way of showing love was by cooking delicious food and making sure we never went hungry. Even today when I go round to visit, both my mother and father will always remember my favourite dishes and make something I like. I use to feel it’s too much trouble for them, but what I have grown to understand, this is how they feel they are sharing their love through cooking for their children . They have never really known any other way how to show their love.
Jacqueline. Such a beautiful, touching and heartfelt article, about your gorgeous mother.
Dear Jacqueline thank you for such a beautiful sharing very touching. My mother also got through life with alcohol and medication to manage as she was so sensitive it was her way to cope. This was not easy to be with but under it all she was so beautiful and in her later years of alzheimers she became more and more gentle like a baby surrendered to who she was and on passing away i saw her as and knew she was an angel too.
I adore this article Jacqueline. Thank you for sharing. It is so true that we are all this deep within and it is only the veils that disguise this beauty. Love never leaves us – it is us that makes the choices – this is an amazing point. Your sharing has inspired me to see this preciousness first and foremost in all the women and men I come into contact with, no matter what veils they have chosen. I will look and see all the women as the beautiful flower you have seen in your mum.
“Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.”
This is beautiful and a gentle reminder of all that we are and the immense power and love that rests within us. We think of other places as home and often fail to remember where we have truly come from.
Reading this blog again and reading all the comments I feel deeply touched. Such a beautiful subject and some amazing sharings and insights.
I agree Rebecca – I love reading this blog and all the comments, there is always something new to appreciate with every read.
It is inspiring, humbling and simply beautiful.
You have nailed it with the games that we play with Alocohol and other drugs of calling it a ‘Pleasure’ instead of what it really is, a poison. When I used to have my glasses of wine it all was for pleasure – a marriage with the food i was eating or after a hard days work so one or two to wind down with. The way I felt the next day and some times throwing up was a clear sign that it was poison but it took me a long time to realise this and to get to a point that I didn’t want to feel like that anymore.
Good point Natalie – it is a poison which is why the body rejects it. Its weird how we persuade ourselves to continue with something like that and yet it is so common. So many of us are using these to protect ourselves, and all the while cutting ourselves off from our sensitivity.
A few of us women today were reflecting on how hurtful it is when others judge us, even when it is done in a belief of trying to help, e.g. telling us what to do or not do. In contrast how supportive it feels when the interaction is one of equalness, with understanding and love. This supports us to feel the love and appreciation within our self, and therefore supports us to build a loving foundation from which we can make our own choices. What you share here is a wonderful example.
Golnaz. Loved your blog. We need to look closely at ourselves, before we judge the action of others.
I love how you have written this blog Jacqueline. The way you have described everything and the words you have chosen allowed me to really feel who your mother truly is. And what struck me so strongly was how you have brought understanding to your mother and how this process has allowed you to be with her without judgement, reaction or sympathy. You are there being yourself and allowing her to be herself. Imagine if we each brought this level of understanding to each and every person that we feel hurts us everyday – what a way to allow more love into our lives. Thank you Jacqueline – this blog is a beautifully presented gift.
Dear Jacqueline, when I read your article it felt so light, so beautiful and so delicate. It has a very precious and angelic quality to it that makes me completely melt ! What a delicious feeling thank you for the healing.
This is a tender love story. As a daughter I can feel how my own mother confused her love with always being busy and doing things for the family. As a mother I can feel how I took on this way of believing this was the way to show love to our children. As a child of God I can feel very deeply the truth of your words “Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all.”
Your comment here Mary has really brought it home to me this morning of how generations of women have have lived this way and how I too have learnt and lived being busy to not feel…ouch!
“As a daughter I can feel how my own mother confused her love with always being busy and doing things for the family”.
That’s beautifully expressed Shirley-Ann, ‘I felt the angelic little boy unveiled from within him’ what a blessing for both of you in the feeling of that.
I love how you shared that despite those poisons we may claim as pleasures and all the ill choices we may have made, they are just veils. Thin, and flimsy disguises with no solid weight to them other than in their sheer numbers but thin and superficial none the less. Easy brushed aside if we so choose to.
Beautiful descriptions Leigh, ‘they are just veils. Thin, and flimsy disguises with no solid weight to them other than in their sheer numbers but thin and superficial none the less. Easy brushed aside if we so choose to.’, very simple and inspiring to feel how it is our choice to remove these veils if we so choose.
Seeing through the veils of our own and others’ coping mechanisms is the start of an unfolding and return to the sweetness and innocence, that we all are. And as the veils drop away our sparkle comes out and we see and feel the sparkle in others.
I love this way of approaching accepting and understanding with love: “seeing through the veils of our the coping mechanisms ” and “returning to sweetness and innocence”. It offers a lovely playfulness and simplicity.
I have given myself the time to read all the comments this morning and feel I have received such a deep healing which encompasses my Mother, grandmother, my children, my Father, friends, in fact humanity as a whole! Deeply touching and healing. As you say, Jacqueline, the grace of understanding heals all in time. A true blessing, thank you Jacqueline and everyone.
Wow, Lorraine, thank you for sharing, this feels huge – everyone receiving a blessing as soon as we accept/claim our own amazingness, inlcuding our ancestors!
Thank you Jacqueline. I have watched a member of my family live a life with alcohol. The amazing journey for me has been observing how the alcohol enshrouds, envelops, consumes. Totally and utterly. And thus to observe my reaction to that. Withdrawal, protection, contraction. Like a tortoise; retract in to the shell, keep yourself safe. In truth I was doing to myself exactly what the alcohol was doing to the other. Because the alcohol has been there for most of our relationship the glimpses of the true beauty have been rare and have only been brought about by two periods of severe illness, which then enforced periods of abstinence. It was during these brief windows that I was so powerfully reminded of the unquestionable fact that whatever is thrown at it, however much alcohol is poured all over it, the glorious tenderness and magic is always there in every person. This was then a deeply powerful revelation for me. I saw that I had to see beyond the alcohol, beyond the veils. That it was my responsibility and choice to always connect to the true gold that was inside. My learning (which is on-going) in all of this, is to have the strength and love to see past all of the things that alcohol masks or buries and to connect deeply to the innate beauty that I know is there.
“Doing the tortoise” was serving neither of us. So now, to the best of my ability, I bring everything that I am to our time together. And however thick the veil is, however high the wall is, I absolutely know that in there, the light still shines bright. Thus I connect to that, the more everything else falls away. As do all the past hurts. An enormously powerful healing for both of us.
Thank you Jacqueline for this beautiful blog. I could feel as a child how much harder my parents would get after drinking whisky and the same with other relatives, and then I took over the same pattern myself as early as a teenager. The words you have used here are so touching and delicate. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing Alexandre.
Great point Monica, and our pleasures which are also poison are countless and sometimes very hard to see for what they truly are only if we are honest with ourselves.
The part where you mention that your mother’s friends had recognised the angel in your mother but you hadn’t, caused me to wonder if, as we are growing up, we can ever truly know our mothers? We know them to a certain extent but there seems to always be a part they keep hidden from us, or we choose not to see.
This happens when they have built up the layers of protection you describe as your mother’s way of coping Jacqueline, and when we have protected ourselves against the abuse that can ensue. If your mother had been able to appreciate herself, and if I had been able to understand and see why my mother acted the way she did and been able to open my heart to her, how different things would have been.
I agree with you Joan – layers of protection prevent us knowing each other deeply. My mother has just turned 90 years young and I am now able to appreciate her more deeply than ever before as she allows more of the vulnerability out and holds less of the ‘British style stiff upper lip’. A moment that touched me to the core was at her birthday lunch when people were really appreciating her for the beautiful woman she is and for the first time ever…. my mother remained open and accepted the love being offered and shared through their comments. Thank you Jacqueline – I am able to see the angel within her too.
Beauti-full Stephanie! I feel to expand on the beautiful insight I got from responding to a comment above. In my last article: Drinking alcohol, the true picture, the true damage, I wrote how 4 generations were affected by alcohol, even though I did not drink. Shifting from judgement and blame to deeply honoring my mother for the angel she truly is, not only do I get a healing and my children, but also, the generation line of women before my mother and my ancestors… it feels I am deeply honoring my ancestors too and that feels truly amazing and filled with so much grace.
It is my feeling Joan, as children we can see our parents in their true light, but it is so painful for us to feel and see they are not living that, so we (most of humanity) shut down and forget who they are as well as forgetting who we truly are….which is the ‘universal human tragedy’, which Jo mentions above. With this awareness, things ‘are’ different now, and thus heals the past: the grace of understanding heals all in time.
Well said Jacqueline – yes, children do ‘feel and see’ all in their true light, and it is so painful to see what is not true being acted out – indeed “the universal human tragedy.” I love this – “With this awareness, things ‘are’ different now, and thus heals the past: the grace of understanding heals all in time.”
Joan, this reminded me a of a time when I was talking to a girlfriend about a family member who is an alcoholic. What I said was horrible. She started crying because she was upset that I, the person she loved, could say these things about a member of my family. It stopped me in my tracks and made me really feel how my hurts and anger had allowed me to create such a deep form of protection. A rock solid coat of armour that then made it possible for me to say such stuff. Reflecting on that now shows me the deep damage that alcohol can do. And also shows me how far my relationship with others has come since this day, as I now see through all those veils and (almost all the time) only see the sweet, beautiful, tender people that they truly are.
Thank you Otto, From your words here, I have just seen clearly how out of control and loveless we all can be with years of hardening and protecting ourselves with life situations and agains t others .
“…….my hurts and anger had allowed me to create such a deep form of protection. A rock solid coat of armour that then made it possible for me to say such stuff”.
A sobering thought in itself.
Great honest share Otto, and I have to admit I have done the same as you and spoke
very badly about a family member too, coming from all the anger I held within that I had not resolved and placing blame which only kept me in judgement and separation from my family. “Reflecting on that now shows me the deep damage that alcohol can do”, not only to ourselves, but to all others too, and so much more…. Thank you Otto.
Such a beautiful blog Jacqueline. I can visualise those veils that anyone can have and it is great to observe the hinden tenderness or delicateness beyond or underneath those veils, thank you for that observation. I am feeling into and re-building my relationship with my mother, and have recently seen the inner child, joy and beauty in her as a person not just ‘my mum’, a label/role to me before. Your blog inspires me to be more observant of the woman I love and peel away the label.
I was moved when you expressed how you saw your mother past the exterior trappings: “after removing the outer veils of alcohol, emotions, drama and smoking that she herself had chosen, was a beautiful, tender, sweet, humble and very precious woman with a heart that was pure.” with love and understanding. After a lifetime of being very harshly judgemental with everyone and myself, this is a new way of relating that is slowly becoming more consistent and I get moved every time I get to see and remember how amazing it is to be able to do that. Truly beautiful that you experienced this with your mother.
As a single parent of six children and having worked most of her life, my Mother worked VERY HARD to make sure that we had a nice home and yummy food to eat. She was a fun, beautiful and youthful woman who was more a friend than parent, except when I needed a strong word, kick up the butt or pearls of wisdom. But I guess true friends do that too. When she was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer she resigned herself to her illness and went from the extra lights to the stronger heavy duty cigarettes. Just like your mother Jacqueline, she had a beautiful strong heart, but chose to put it aside to deal with what she faced in life. I know that a lot of the time she was lonely, even with six kids running around her. I feel that that is why she smoked. There was something inside that yearned to be filled, but she did not have that opportunity. I also used to smoke and I did so for those reasons. I missed myself. Since I have been choosing to live by another way, by choosing to connect to and live from the love within me, I have let go of the crutches I used to use like smoking and I did it without willpower. Only through the healing I chose to receive for the hurts that I have accepted as being there and chose to let go. Self-medication is accepted and even encouraged and it’s time to shed more light on why we do this and how damaging it is for our physical and emotional health.
I feel that my perspective and understanding of my own mother changed after reading this. I found it very ground breaking and open and an inspiration for all people to look at how we are and how we judge, in our relationships.
I love this blog Jacqueline. I can so relate, my relationship with my mother was like being in a war movie literally. I chose to not speak to her for 7 years. A year ago I re-connected back with her. I have spent this time building bridges and treating her as my equal. I was able to do this as I had let go of the anger and resentment. No doubt this article will give a lot of people a healing!
This is inspiring to read and shows the commitment you have had to yourself to heal your own issues! The grace of letting go of all our old hurts and resentment we have held towards our parents, not only brings families back together again, as you have highlighted, but then has the ripple effect of improving all our relationships with all others… Awesome!
If I hold myself as precious and more than worthy of attention and care, I can but do the same for all others. This article and these comments hold a tenderness and acceptance that is inspiring. Thank you.
Yes Matilda, I too truly felt the tenderness and acceptance of what has been written here , inspirational.
Hi Jacqueline. I just wanted to say another big thank you for your blog. After reading it yesterday something changed and today I wrote a letter to my grandmother (even though she died over ten years ago). I realised I still held her responsible for many of my hurts and issues but was able to let these go. She was an amazing women, full of strength and courage who I never appreciated or got to know. I can see now that we were so alike. I could let my judgements go of her and myself. I felt I could finally let go of wanting these hurts addressed which was holding me back – a anchor to the past that forever stopped me going forth in my present. I felt I am freer to be myself, a grown woman; not so much a child/stroppy teenager in a woman’s body pretending to be an adult. The grace of letting go of old hurts.
Wow, Karin, just goes to show that even though our relatives (parents, grandparents etc) pass over, we can still carry hurts and issues that have not been cleared for many years after and that still impact us, as you beautifully expressed: “a anchor to the past that forever stopped me going forth in my present”. Such a powerful insight you share, it feels huge… There is great potential for change as Janet mentioned above when we let go of the hurts with our parents because, “it is so easy to blame them for the wrongs we bring with us from our childhood”. Thank you Karin.
Karin what a great realisation, and what beautiful evidence that these blogs provide inspiration and a lovely way of learning through sharing. Thank you Jacqueline and Karin
I am inspired by your comments Karin – especially not anchoring yourself to the past any longer. “I felt I could finally let go of wanting these hurts addressed which was holding me back – a anchor to the past that forever stopped me going forth in my present”.
a true healing on so many levels, for so many people, from this beautiful blog.
As far as Angels go Jacqueline, it takes one to know one! Your ability to see through the outer issues and self-abusive behavior of your mother, into the prescious being inside shows your own angelic qualities in spades.
Very Intuitive Michael! I can see my mother for who she truly is with eyes and heart open, and the reflection that comes back is; if I can see that I must be that too…. mmm, still pondering, but your words were heart felt.
Hi Michael, I had a strong impulse to come back and readdress your comment. For you are right, it does take one to know one; I am an angel… feels good to say it and claim it! I feel now a deeper honouring of my mother for this amazing healing and reflection she has given me. She is one amazing, humble and precious women and I love her dearly. And of course, we are all angels…
Lovely said Michael!
This is beautiful, seeing the angelic ness in another confirms the angelic ness of who we are, a great reflection back. How beautiful to see it in this light.
Beautifully expressed Michael – the reflection of “angelic qualities in spades” is in every word of Jacqueline’s blog.
Jacqueline, I feel this article deeply. I feel the purity of your mother in your words and her re-discovery. I am still clearing my own pain of not having offered my family my true essence and this article is the perfect support for me. This fundamental set up of leaving our true home/our precious selves… and then needing whatever we can find to numb the pain of not being that… feels like a universal human tragedy; but it is the fact that this love never leaves us – that we can choose to get back with our truth and that is so powerful.
Dear Jo, I agree, it feels indeed like a ‘universal human tragedy’ and love how you have summed this up in one sentence: “This fundamental set up of leaving our true home/our precious selves… and then needing whatever we can find to numb the pain of not being that…” and if I may add until ‘we choose’ to find our way home…
Hi Jacqueline, thank you very much for this beautiful article. I love how you have expressed seeing your mother for the person she truly is.
A great reminder thank you, that love never leaves us but it is us that choose to leave ‘home’. For me this is huge as it knocks out any notion of having to achieve anything, gain anything, trying or striving to be something I am not, or the drive to be ‘better’. All I have to do is return home. Come back to the real me which was there all along. There is much truth in the saying ‘home is where the heart is’ and now I am beginning to understand what that actually means.
What a beautiful tenderly expressed article Jacqueline, it touched me at a very deep level. There are so many points you raised that I loved, one of them being, ‘Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all’. Thank you for this gorgeous heart felt inspiring sharing.
Thank you Lorraine.
“Love never leaves us”, I find this such an inspiring blog, full of tenderness. Thank you Jacqueline.
Hi Jacqueline. your writing brought tears to my eyes. It is so, so true. I see the, ‘beauty and preciousness’ in all the women in my family. They are so tender and graceful too. I see it retrospectively too, particularly with one who has died, when growing up I only saw her protective mask. I see it in myself on a day I’ve struggled to feel my beauty beyond my protective layers. Thank you for your grace and tenderness.
Great to hear Amina, thank you.
Now that’s inspiring Monica! Thank you.
A beautiful expression of the potential in mother-daughter relationships – and any others for that matter – once we don’t stand in judgement of another for the choices that they have made.
Jacqueline, You have written this blog with so much love and grace that it opened my eyes and my heart. Writing doesn’t get more powerful than that. A thank you doesn’t even feel appropriate given the extent of the gift I’ve received. Perhaps Heartfelt Appreciation is more the mark.
Well said Gayle heartfelt appreciation says it all, its a real gift and very powerful.
Dear Gayle, your words touched me deeply, and I feel it is important to add, that I too am receiving so much back through all the wonderful comments, has made me stop to really appreciate the beautiful gift and blessings I am receiving – its a two way flow – thank you so much.
Thank you Jacqueline for sharing this with us all. I can feel such tenderness and understanding in your writing and feel so honored to have been given the gift of reading your blog. It so very simply expresses what it is to live and to love.
Dear Leigh, it makes me feel very humble when I read your words, and I really love your last line:
“It so very simply expresses what it is to live and to love”. I have never understood what that meant, and I guess that’s why I am still digesting the reflection of whats coming back through all the beautiful comments, taking stop moments to receive…
So gracefully, lovingly and beautifully expressed.
What a beautiful article thank you for sharing and I love how you look back on your life with your mother so simply and clearly, I am very touched. The allowance of others to just be and feel the beauty inside them feels so lovely, with no judgement and also allowing others to feel ourselves in that beauty too. Wonderful Jacqueline very inspiring.
Jacqueline, as I read your story and how you saw your mother as an angel, it showed the appreciation and love you hold for her – and your divine ability to see her for who she is, not what she does to herself through alcohol and smoking. This is a huge healing for you, and a gorgeous reflection for us to see everyone for who they are first and foremost.
So beautifully expressed Hannah. And yes I agree, it is a huge healing to see others for who they are first and foremost.
Very Beautiful what you write Hannah, thank you!
This is so beautiful Jacqueline, that you could see beyond the “outer veils” and feel your mother for who she truly is. I loved it when you said, “my mother is as precious and delicate as a soft rose petal blowing gently in the wind”. I can relate to this with my own mother who has Alzheimer’s, since my dad died 4 years ago. I know that this is not who she truly is, and can feel my mother to be an angel too.
Awesome Sue.
I love the way you express Jacqueline. I have read your article several times and I can relate to it on many levels. We all have our own veils and it feels great to see ourselves and others for who we truly are behind those veils.
Such a beautiful blog, there is so much love in it. When we take away the veils and accept the choices people make, there is this pure love joy and beauty in all of us. Thank you for this inspiration!
There is great potential for change, when we are open to seeing behind the veils to the true essence of everyone, without judgement or a need for them to be a certain way. For me this feels particularly powerful in relation to a parent, for it is so easy to blame them for the wrongs we bring with us from our childhood, rather than take responsibility for our own choices and respect that they made theirs – thank you Jacqueline.
Yes Janet, this is a very open perspective and so true that from our childhood hurts it is so easy to blame our parents but as I am learning, a bit of self honesty and responsibility goes a long way from the imprisoning feeling of blame and allows us to see others divine beauty.
Yes Janet this is so true when it comes to our relationships with parents.
Beautifully written Janet, ‘For me this feels particularly powerful in relation to a parent, for it is so easy to blame them for the wrongs we bring with us from our childhood’, I can definitely relate to this and so I agree that it feels lovely ‘when we are open to see behind the veils to the true essence of everyone.’
Perfect example of where it is easy to blame another for our hurts. They can be healed often in the simplest of ways, by expressing how we truly feel. Yet we so often get caught in the trap of holding on to the hurts and protecting them like mad only at the cost of our health and our true well being.
Yes Jenny how crazy is it that ‘we protect our hurts at the cost of our health and our true well being’. We actually don’t even know we are doing it some of the time, so to accept the hurts and let them go without blaming is a true healing.
Well said Janet, so true.
I agree Janet, it’s such an important point you make. Great potential for change when we can fully understand and accept that our parents did the best they could with what they had (as Kevin mentioned, our mother’s generation did it the hard way), and they too simply made choices like we all have done. And I am wondering when we can love our parents fully for who they truly are, how will that change and affect all other relationships – has to be in a huge positive way….
Yes Jacqueline and I would add when we can love our parents fully for who they truly are – we will have connected more deeply to the love we truly are .
So true Janet the healing that comes from letting go of blame and the ideals of how things should of been. Taking responsibility being the first step . Thank you Janet and Jacqueline.
I really love how you have shared this story with us and yes it is true, that you could be writing for anybody’s mother. When we look at people this way, it again shows how insidious alcohol truly is as it’s use truly hides people’s innate sweet natures.
I so agree with you Amina and Michelle. A member of my family is a self confessed Alcoholic and they are so hiding their true sweet selves behind the alcohol. Keeping themselves stuck in guilt and self loathing and only seeing their life from the bad choices they have made, hence their choice to drink. There is so much tenderness and sweetness within them yet they know it not. They only get to experience themselves and life from that lesser place, it really is quite sad that just underneath all of that, is the gorgeousness of their own sweet selves waiting to be felt and known.
Lovely article Jacqueline and how right you are, love never leaves us. Our mothers generation did it the hard way, so I’m not surprised some sought comfort with alcohol and cigarettes. My mum had eight children and my Aunty had eleven how hard would that be?
Exactly Kevin. Our mother’s generation did it the hard way and little wonder some sought comfort with alcohol and cigarettes. If I put myself in my mother’s shoes, I am for certain I would have chosen the comfort too, and that’s what brings the understanding and the love!
Well said Kevin. We need understand that all generations each have had their own challenges, challenges that resulted in the many different behaviours and patterns that we have no right to judge.
Good call Suse – every generation does have different challenges to face and every generation reaches for their own form of distraction to deal with the tension.
Jacqueline, I can feel that deep beauty and tenderness in you as I read your words and share in the story of your mother. As well as the healing that you received in writing the blog, you are also offering all of us an opportunity to reach out to our mothers (or that memory that we have of our mother) and re-imprint the relationship that we experienced. I know that it has deepened my understanding to a new level, the path that was chosen by my mother and to be able to step back from the hurt and reach beyond. Your blog is a blessing to us all.
Susan I agree, this blog is allowing me to reflect on the choices my mother made bringing up 5 girls, long hours and shift work.. She did the best she could and how she could, to provide for the family. Mostly at the expense of her own body, being on her feet all day. She had knee problems from the age of 48 and arthritis. She only last year had a knee replacement on one knee, which she struggled through at the age of 62. However, she has turned around and is now making time for herself. She speaks up when she is tired, she does exercises in a pool two times a week and goes for regular walks.
“You are also offering all of us an opportunity to reach out to our mothers (or that memory that we have of our mother) and re-imprint the relationship that we experienced”. I did not see this until I read your comment and it does feel to be true. Thank you Susan for this beautiful insight, I feel expanded somehow – the blessing is two fold!
Thank you, Sue. Just today I got to see that I have still been judging my mother, and holding onto hurts. When I let go of the hurt and could feel the situation in our home when I was young for how it truly was, I was able to see that my mother was also just in reaction to the situation that she grew up with. This showed me that we are not so different, and brought a new level of understanding which I look forward to exploring further.
I was touched by your beautifully expressed blog, Jacqueline, and as a daughter and a mother it has given me great healing as I read and feel what you are saying. To allow myself to recognise my mother’s angel inside her, and also to acknowledge my own, helps me to let go of all the judgments that are a part of the outer layer you describe. And so many women I meet are coping with difficult lives and have covered up their sensitivity with “pleasures”, but I can feel that beautiful shining essence deep within them.
Thank you Joan, I love what you have written here, “To allow myself to recognise my mother’s angel inside her, and also to acknowledge my own, helps me to let go of all the judgments that are a part of the outer layer you describe”. A process that has been deepening for myself and leading to letting go of past ‘veils’ with my own mother. As the judgements are recognised, the old game of blame is changed into responsibility for love and our relationship has changed immeasurably.
That’s really insightful what you say Stephanie about seeing the judgements and the ‘blame game’. It is when we can see that we have been judgemental that we then open to seeing the blame and take responsibility.
Thank you Joan, so beautiful what you shared.
A beautiful writing Jacqueline, I know how easy it is to call something that makes us sick and poisons us, as a pleasure. I relabelled wine (that I would be sick on as a child) as a pleasure and sign of accomplishment in later years – even though I still would get sick.
Hi David, this made me smile even though there is a serious note here – how crazy that we so totally brush aside the body and ignore all of its signals!
Beautiful blog Jacqueline… I agree that we are all angels… The tricky part for me is learning to honour that and every feeling that my ‘petals’ emanate to keep me feeling my tenderness. I feel so many of us are programmed from a young age to push on and ignore our very precious delicate bodies and I for one find it challenging to retrain myself to listen to me. I am slowly turning it around minute by minute.
I appreciate how you write of seeing past the ‘outer veils’ and becoming aware of a persons true quality rather than the layers of habitual behaviour that we all hide behind. I have recently had this experience concerning a person that I had in past strongly reacted to with judgement. I was able to meet him and see past his defences and depression and meet his true potential, this happened because I felt I was understanding and accepting of where he was at and I was comfortable sharing a love that I have been building in my body without being in defence myself. It was a wonderful experience and a marker for me to go forward with and appreciate. Thank you for sharing your experience, it felt healing and very tender.
Hi Samantha, I too have been experiencing seeing past those ‘outer veils’ and how we use them to cover up how we are truly feeling. It shows me how we all have or do use these veils to hide both our sadness or hurts and the gloriousness we truly are.
Jacqueline, you are a living testimony to your own true healing. It is a joy to see the deep changes from letting go of the past hurts and coming into the acceptance of the angel within in yourself, your mother and others. Shine on Jacqueline! You are a beautiful woman bringing much inspiration to all. A heartfelt thank you.
Deeply felt Stephanie, thank you very much.
Hi Jacqueline, this blog is so tender it moved me to tears as I felt the beauty within my own mother who has passed away. Thank you and Roseleen for sharing and bringing such a feeling of delicateness and there is absolutely no judgement in this just the acknowledgement that we all come from love and make choices to be or not be that love.
Dear Judy, I had tears in my eyes reading your comment especially when I read you thanking my mother, I don’t know why but that touched me deeply… it feels to me she was always going to share this. Thank you.
Jacqueline, this is such a beautiful and tender blog, and a joy to read. It’s a great reminder for me to look beyond the choices we make to numb ourselves, to the pain of missing our true selves. I so easily get caught up in the stories and forget to feel what is truly there inside all of us – delicate, beautiful beings of love that we are. I particularly love it when you say “Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all”. So very true.
So beautiful Jacqueline. The love you allowed to feel through the veils and just allowing your mother with her choices, is great acceptance of her as woman. No matter what people’s choices are, if we can see past the veils, we can see the true love and beauty they are.
As others have said, that is exactly what I feel, this is a beautifull blog and deeply touching. I appreciate now I am older, that I can see my parents for who they really are and truly are as people without the life that has ‘happened’ to them by their choices. It is a really lovely experience to see and feel. Thank you for sharing so tenderly.
I agree Vicky, as I get older it is amazing to feel the relationship I have with my mother change, seeing her not just as my parent, but as a person and a friend.
Beautiful that you raise this point. By getting older I am able to see my parents for who they truly where and I can feel that this is because of my growing understanding of what life is really about and what situations can do to people. In my case my parents have past over several years ago but even then this understanding can grow and bring a healing to my relation with my parents. I am now able to feel and connect to the love they also carried within and how they shared this love with me in all that they where. When I was young I was in reaction to their outer veils that withhold me from feeling their love.
As you get older you get wiser as the saying goes… I agree Nico, with getting older I also have a far better understanding of what life is really about and what situations can do to people. And from that understanding, true healing began in the relationship with my parents. From always being fully angry at my parents, I can now fully love them, a big shift indeed!
That is an amazing shift and one I am working towards, I felt it on my fathers death bed but its amazing how much I want to hold onto issues rather than see the grace and beauty that lies beneath perceived issues. Beautiful article Jacqueline.
Yes Nico, getting older seems to bring us an understanding of our parents and of life circumstances that moulded our reactions to them. Now, as you said, a healing is taking place in me in regard to my mother who passed away a long time ago and for my father who lives far away but to whom I am more connected now than when we lived together.
Such a beautiful article Jacqueline. I Love this line, “What I did see after removing the outer veils of alcohol, emotions, drama and smoking that she herself had chosen, was a beautiful, tender, sweet, humble and very precious woman with a heart that was pure.” That we are all this precious, tender and pure hearted is so touching. I have seen and felt my own Mother in this light and it is so deeply touching to feel. I resonate so much with what you have shared Jacqueline. Thank you.
Thank you Jacqueline for this beautiful story, and for the reminder that it is never too late for any of us to find our way back home.
I loved you blog, and it gave me a beautiful feeling when I read it. It is amazing to read how you have looked back at your life with your mother, and have gotten to a place where, with no judgement, you can understand why your mother made the choices she did, and at the same time understand the choices you made. Thank you for sharing.
I loved the tender understanding you brought to your article Jaqueline and the delicacy you see in your mother despite the hard life she has lead. “When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there” So very true and so very beautiful to feel. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Hi Jacqueline, thank you for writing to quite possibly anyone in this world, male or female. It’s so true that a person doesn’t need a halo or impressive wings or a shining aura around them to express all those delicate loving qualities.
“showing how very easily we deceive and fool ourselves so that we do not have to take responsibility for ‘our choices’ ” How true!
Hi Jacqueline, thank you for sharing this wonderful story about your mother. What an amazing experience and healing for you to reconnect to the tender, loving angel you know your mum to be. Your line ‘ love never leaves us is a great reminder that, whatever choices we may make, if we can see past out judgements and deep hurts, in essence, we are all love.
This is such a beautiful blog Jacqueline
This is a really beautiful article Jacqueline, so lovely to read, thank you
What is shared here is truly remarkable, having read your previous article on how your experience was as a child growing up in this environment. It is a testament to your healing. It is inspirational to read how you can now so beautifully hold your mother in love, seeing through the layers, with understanding, to the precious tender woman she really is. Thank you, Jacqueline it is a blessing to read and demonstrates True Healing.
Well said Julie, absolutely awesome how Jacqueline has shared seeing through the layers and layers of hurts, anger and protection to see that her mother really is an angel that is sweet, tender and loving. What a gorgeous time for you to have now together and deepening your relationship to a truer more honest connection. I have found that once I let go of a pre conceived way the relationship is ‘going to be’, based on past experience with that person; then I haven’t created a dynamic that taints our connection – we are left with a free, open and loving space to be with each other.
Truly remarkable Julie, showing the amazing true healing that has taken place.
I was deeply touched by your comment Julie, (actually with them all), because it is so true what you wrote, it is a testament to truly healing from all my hurts, judgments and anger from my childhood. And that is huge for me, if I think of my past and my choices… but as I mentioned in my previous article, it was my commitment to myself to heal my issues, that has allowed me to let go.
Yes Jacqueline I concur with the above comments, what an incredible testament you are to the power of what happens when we choose to heal our hurts. It’s not pleasant and can be a challenge, but when you can see, as in your case, your ability to let go of any resentment and bitterness to your Mother and see her for the angel that she is it’s quite remarkable. Your story should be a case study in the psychology field. It would inspire practitioners and patients alike to look at how we deal with our childhood emotions and how we can live as adults in our relationships as a result.
So true Julie. It is indeed testament to the depth of healing that Jacqueline’s family has experienced.
Thank you, I found your article very touching and could feel the beauty and amazingness of your Mother in your description of her as the angel she truly is.
This is such an important point: ‘It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures’, be it alcohol, smoking, even sugar and salt. Maybe if we were more truthful in the way we described them, then it would be less easy to ignore what we are doing to our bodies.
I agree Laura. Is it a pleasure or is it a poison is the question to be asked? Perhaps when we call poison for the poison it is, it will be less easy to ignore what we are really putting in our bodies.
This is a precious story to share. What I really appreciate is how you can see through the choices to drink and smoke, even though you are directly effected by that, and to see the true beauty underneath, with out bitterness or blame. A real inspiration, to not see the ugliness in people, but to see the beauty underneath.
Thank you Laura, for in reading your comment and all the others before I took a few moments to really appreciate myself for all the choices I have made so far to be able to see past the outer veils without bitterness or blame, thus seeing what truly lies underneath.
I find myself very moved by your blog, and its truth and beauty, and the connection that you must have shared with your mother during your visit, for her to generously permit this blog to be shared with us all. What healing for all when we come to be able to see the truth of people, and not just the outer veils you speak of.
Dear Catherine, when I read this part of your comment: “for her to generously permit this blog to be shared with us all”, it brought a smile to my lips with the thought: it’s what angels do – serve!
Jacqueline, this is a beautiful article, very tender and truly compassionate. You write with so much love and acceptance. Sometimes it is not easy for us to see through people and get in touch with their essence, you can do it so easily, seeing angelic and beautiful people. Also I like what you wrote about our true home, what we all have it withing us (I imaging angel-snails with their houses and wings). It is very lovely and brings warmth to my heart. Thank you for sharing
Wow, what a stunning piece. It confirms much that I know to be true. I wonder how your mother felt reading this? You can clearly feel the love you hold her in and the love she herself is and as you say what is wonderful to know is that we all have it within us. Not only that but how every moment is a new opportunity for us to reconnect to that ‘home’ within.
So beautifully said Jacqueline that underneath all our layers is a delicate tenderness, something so beautiful and fragile it takes our breath away and yet we treat ourselves with pioson rather than show that to the world. And it is amazing that despite the veils and pioson others do see our true fragility and purity and often wish to remind us of who we are through gifts and beautiful gestures. And you are so correct in that this can be written about many women who have walked away from the deep and inexhaustible well of love within, a love we miss so deeply we are willing to pioson ourselves as a consequence. Thank goodness for the Women in Livingness who are inspiring women that there is a way to come home.
Beautifully written Rowena
So beautiful what you have expressed Rowena. One sentence jumped out at me:
“a love we miss so deeply we are willing to poision ourselves as a consequence”, I can feel this to be so true for my mother, the deep loss she carried over missing the love she came from, explains everything and shines the light on why we as a humanity chose the poision.
Beautifully expressed Rowena.
Beautifully expressed Rowena, your own tenderness shines through every word.
I agree Rowena.
There is a lot to be said for how common it is for people to cover up who they are and indulge to get by.
I know being more loving and tender allows me to shed layers of protection, and that I also have a responsibility to see this in others – and not take them for all the many ways they choose to hide who they are.
What a gorgeous article. It is a blessing to read. A beautiful honouring of our true nature. When you say, ” It is a huge trick we play on ourselves, renaming poisons to pleasures” – it is so true.
Jacqueline, you brought me to tears reading this. Such a delicate expression of love, understanding and truth. Thank you for sharing.
So true Anna. A delicate expression of love, understanding and truth.
I agree Anna, the way Jacqueline has expressed the love she feel for her mother, is very delicate and sweet, and beautiful to read.
Jacqueline, thank you for sharing how your mother disconnected from herself in choosing to numb herself with alcohol and smoking. I love the line “Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all”. In her later years, my mother chose books – she completely lost herself in reading of other people’s lives.
Your mother chose books, mine chose alcohol, both missing deeply the home they both left, but love never left them.
Yes Jacqueline, as Janina said – beautifully written and lovingly expressed for humanity to read. I found the section Poisons or Pleasures particularly thought stimulating and it is so true. How can it be so easy for us to take something which the medical world constantly tells us causes irreparable, physical damage – and yet we still choose to indulge in it – and even think we enjoy it?
Jacqueline, thank you for writing this. It is certainly heart warming that you have reached a stage where you have been able to see past the emotions, alcohol, smoking and dramas that your mother is carrying to the truth of who she is. To be honest, this would be a beautiful healing for her to have someone see her, for who she really is, regardless of how she has lived her life.
It’s this that we are often craving for in coming home, to be really seen by others and ultimately to remember who we are in truth – that love inside. I am coming to know that regardless of how we have lived or what we have experienced – Love is always there within us.
You make a great point Shevon. I feel one of my first hurts was that my mother did not fully see me, or who I truly was… which stayed with me for such a long time… so yes it is a beautiful healing for her, as it is for me and my children, and the generations of women before her I feel, as this deep honouring of one’s mother honours the generation line of mothers (women) before, where judgement is replaced by grace. This feels truly beautiful Shevon, thank you.
My mother always celebrated my arty, dyslexic ways [although the word dyslexic did not exist at that time – you were just thick] it was her love of what I created that gave me the inner strength to follow my path, she always told me to be true to my heart and follow what I felt
Wise advice from your mother Prof. Phil. You are totally amazing!
Thank you Jacqueline, I feel deeply touched by your beautiful words, and it has me pondering on my mother and how she lived her life. My feeling is that I only saw her through eyes of judgement, hurt and anger, and never saw her as an angel; but towards the end of her life – at 94, she was simply a frail old woman who had loved her family as she knew how.
Carmel I really resonate with your observation of your mother who ‘loved her family as she knew how’. Part of my coming to terms with that for my own mother and father, who have passed, is to claim that I am aware that I do know differently. Thanks to the presentations of the Universal Medicine team, and to have made my own choices to live lovingly in the now… Thank you Jacqueline for opening up your experience of looking with our hearts. If we are all one big family, then surely these opportunities for us to meet more angels, are all around us.
‘Looking with our hearts’, beautiful Kathy, that’s all it takes.
It is never too late to re-imprint Carmel. Most of my life I saw my mother through judging, hurt and angry eyes. As you re-imprint, your mother will receive the blessing as well as yourself.
Another exquisite piece of writing from you Jacqueline. It is beautiful how you describe your coming home to love and seeing your mother being able to do this for herself in the latter stages of her life. And how you describe the poison being veiled as a pleasure, the tricks we play to fool ourselves into thinking we have it all under control! But as you also describe so sweetly, that underneath all the veils is the love that has never left us!
Jacqueline this is deeply touching, thank you. I fully agree that under all our choices that lead to our bodies and faces looking tired and haggard, underneath the anger and vitriol; beneath all that, is an exquisite grace and beauty that never ever leaves.
Jacqueline I am deeply touched by what you have shared. Such a great reminder for me to look past others choices and even my own sometimes unloving choices’ to remember that at the core of us, we are all beautiful precious beings.
Beautifully said Sharon. It is easy to make the choice or the problem bigger than the person, and that’s often where we lose sight.
Great point Sharon. I find it all too easy not to look past what I might see and therefore judge another rather than remember the preciousness inside each and every one of us. A lovely reminder.
So true David, it is very easy to slip into judgement of another rather than appreciate them for the love that they are.
I agree Sharon, a great reminder, thank you.
So true Sharon and allowing ourselves to learn and not thinking we should know it all, lets us be those precious beings that we are.
Beautifully said Sharon. To allow ourselves to connect with another’s essence and see the beauty that we all hold beyond the choices we make from protection and hurt.
Thank you Jacqueline for your journey home. You can add men to your list ‘Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home’ I myself and many other men I know have returned home – allowing us to see past the walls that others have built and know what tender and loving beings are hiding away from the world.
So true Steve we have all left home and what a true joy it is when we return and find our love again.
I agree what a true joy it is when we return and find our love again.
Beautiful Steve. Yes this is the case for men too when they return home to their tenderness.
Yes, it is delightful to see the tender and loving beings Steve.
A beautiful comment Steve. Men like women are such tender beings when we choose to remove our shields and armours. Love is inside all of us.
What a beautiful comment Steve – you writ with such tenderness.
This is beautiful Jacqueline. The love and acceptance of allowing others their choices whilst seeing the love they truly are is beautiful. An inspiration, thank you.
This is awesome what you wrote – “The love and acceptance of allowing others their choices whilst seeing the love they truly are is beautiful”
Thank you Jacqueline for your article, written with such tenderness about your mother. It is interesting how we can convince ourselves that by just renaming a poison and calling it a pleasure we can accept the damage we knowingly do to our bodies.
Hi Jacqueline, I loved reading your blog and you are right this could be anyones’ mother, sister, daughter or friend. It brought memories back for me, how on occasions I would witness my mother being very gentle and there would be glimpses of her true nature, instead of the barriers that I had otherwise felt she had constructed for herself.
Yes it is interesting the barriers that we create by putting all these expectations on what we think our mothers need to be instead of allowing them to just be themselves.
What a gorgeous celebration of your mother and, as you say, all women. And what a gorgeous inspiration to take responsibility for our ‘veils’ and in every interaction with others, to see through theirs. Thank you.
I was speaking with someone who described exactly this – taking the opportunity to really see the person inside as they truly are, rather than allowing the layers of life that they have conformed to or dulled them down which is so often presented. She was very much inspired!
Matilda it is a gorgeous celebration of all women. A beautiful reminder to take off the veils and see through them in every iterations with others.
Agree Matilda,it takes true love for another to discard your own veil and also to see through that of another in complete understanding.
Beautiful Jacqueline, such a lovely story of ‘coming home’. I can feel your deep love for your mother and your appreciation of all that she is, despite her choices in life.
Rebecca, you have captured my sentiments exactly.
I so agree I can feel your deep love. So beautiful.
It is really lovely to read everyone’s reflections on their parents and what they can see and feel now. Discussions and realisations like these are priceless, thanks everyone for your sharing xx
Love this line Mary in your comment: “but it didn’t mean she didn’t love me, she just didn’t know how to show it”. I always thought my mother didn’t love me, but now realise she just didn’t know how to show it… My mother had 8 brothers and sisters, and I can feel she was never shown love either, so how could she show me? The grace of ‘understanding’ heals all in time… is my feeling. What a healing for your mother, now you see the angel she is, and for you too, as it takes one to know one…
What you have said Mary and Jacqueline, resonates with me as my Mother was one of six but had to take on being Mother in the war when they were evacuated. She didn’t teach me to cook as she didn’t want me to have to do what was imposed on her. She loved to drink wine as this was seen as sophisticated and used to offer me drinks to help me relax and sleep well. So many memories have come to the surface by reading what everyone has said. I feel my Mother was an Angel who did all she could to make sure I had all the things she didn’t have in life. Being sent away to boarding school didn’t seem like a gift, however I realise now my mum was just doing what she knew and felt was best at the time. At last I am understanding what love is, thanks to Universal Medicine. Before my Mother died, I was able to share true love with her and we healed a lot in our relationship in her final days.
This is massive for anyone with childhood issues… I used to hold my Mum accountable for everything wrong in my life, until I looked at her parents, and what she was taught. It’s easy to see how we turn into our parents and foster all the same often unloving ways if we are not consciously present in our lives. This is what I love about Universal Medicine – it’s all about fostering the attitude of “the buck stop here. I’m going to take control of my choices and do this differently, because I have a choice”. I’m now doing this alongside my Mum who is now also benefiting from the wisdom handed down for us all – she has dropped the bitterness to her own parents and is learning how much love there is for her as well, and it’s AMAZING! Ultimately it all started with us both understanding our parents…
So true Jacqueline, my mother has shared how she was not shown how to show love, as her parents never showed it to her. With time, as we (my siblings and I) have shown our love to her she has been able to reflect it back. It is beautiful as she is now able to connect to these feelings.
Through the comments above it is very clear that our parents could not show us love because they were not shown love either, and they did the best they could at that time…when we come to this simple yet true realisation, blaming our parents for everything can stop and as Rachel pointed out above, the attitude can be fostered: the buck stops here…
Priceless presentations from Universal Medicine about taking responsibility for everything in our life rather than blaming everyone else.
As Rachel shares – This is what I love about Universal Medicine – it’s all about fostering the attitude of “the buck stop here. I’m going to take control of my choices and do this differently, because I have a choice”.
Parents of baby boomers lived through difficult times and may not have known love from their own parents. With time I have reconciled myself to this fact and no longer attribute blame. I can reflect love and break the cycle of lovelessness.
Jacqueline thank you for your story of how you now see your mum, and Mary for your comments…deeply touching.
I too used to blame my parents for everything that they didn’t do for me, and for all the hurts I was carrying from my childhood experiences into my adult life.
How could my parents have known any different, when they themselves were raised during WWII in Britain in circumstances I can only imagine? How could they have shown their love in any other way that what they did when they hadn’t every known that for themselves? With this understanding and through working on healing my own hurts from my childhood, I now feel and see my parents very differently, and consequently our relationship has changed dramatically. That is the power of true healing – an opportunity that Universal Medicine offers anyone who is willing to be open to it.
Mary what you share reminds me how I too judged my Mother, and how this made me feel. Before she died, I healed my own hurts and rebuilt my relationship with her. Like you, I gained with time a deeper appreciation of her, her life struggles and the choices she made. A mother of six children, she was a remarkable woman.
Jaqueline, your revelation that ‘Love never leaves us, it is we who choose to leave home; the home that rests deep within us all’ provides us with a deep insight into our true essence, irrespective of how far we may have chosen to stray or shield ourselves from love.
And how beautiful that as well as revealing that love never leaves us, it shows the fallacy of thinking that it is even possible for us to leave love – it rests deep within us!
Love this Golnaz: “it shows the fallacy of thinking that it is even possible for us to leave
home”, how can we if it rests deep within us all, all we have to do is remove the veils one by one.
Beautifull said Rod. And at the same time we know we have never been truly lost, just have stepped away from our natural ways, which is love. It does not matter how far we have chosen to step away from our love – we all have the same equal love.
So true Rod and a reminder that if we do stray there is always the opportunity to come back and connect to what we know to be true.
Thank you Jaqueline beautifuly expressed and written. So important what you say: “When we can see past the outer veils that we as women choose to wear, what is revealed is the beauty and preciousness of what is truly there in another, and with the seeing comes the reflection and the knowing that you are that too – and in truth, we are all that.” For me this reminds me in my connection with people to see them as equal and feel their loving essence – no matter what choices and how they have and live their lives. Not to be put of by the outer veils and to react but to embrace everybody and hold them with love.
A beautiful, sensitive and honest sharing Jacqueline, which has touched me deeply. Thank you!
Janina I agree with your comment about people in reply to Jacqueline – ‘to see them as equal and feel their loving essence – no matter what choices and how they have and live their lives. Not to be put off by the outer veils and to react, but to embrace everybody and hold them with love’.
Through this, the world will come back to love.
I agree completely Stephanie, a beautiful sharing which touched me deeply, and Janina’s comment re: ‘my connection with people to see them as equal and feel their loving essence’… no matter what their choices have been. To love them, their essence, and see them as our fellow brother.
Janina, your comment has reminded me to not be put off by others veils. Its about respecting the choices people have made without judging, and seeing beyond what they outwardly present.
Well said Debra, it is not about judging someone for the way they live and thinking of them as disgraceful or childish for choosing an unloving way but seeing past that and actually learning to love them.
Thank you Debra. We are all called to accept people as they are without judging, a trap we can often so easily fall into. There is no Love in judgement.
Not to react to the outer veils (choices) of others is huge, (I have been in reaction all my life), and if we can stop the reacting and indeed embrace everybody and hold them with love; “through this the world will come back to love”. Awesome…. thank you Janina and Stephanie.
Reading your comment Jacqueline about life time reactions and Kehinde’s – “There is no Love in judgement” brought an old cycle (of going round and round in circles) into a deeper level of clarity for me this morning.
It is is not only judgement about others, it starts with me holding judgement against myself and then I go into reaction which leads to digging in my heels and then reaching out for a distraction (usually a food item) to stop me feeling this painful lack of love for myself.
Then there is no acceptance or love possible for others. Rather a large ‘ouch’ moment with just how abusive this cycle is.
Thank you Stephanie for sharing, I know exactly what you mean. We judge others because we judge ourselves, and don’t want to feel the lack of self love underneath the self judgment, so we use the distractions not to feel this (mine is usually a food item too). How crafty and abusive the mind can be when we are not choosing love and self acceptance.
Lovely Janina, just so lovely what you shared.
Beautifully put Janina.
A beautiful comment Janina to a beautiful article. Thank you for sharing.
Yes Janina, reading Jacqueline’s wonderful blog reminded me of the same thing, to feel the loving essence of all human beings and ‘not to be put of by the outer veils and to react but to embrace everybody and hold them with love.’ Beautifully put.
So beautiful Janina, seeing past someones outer veils, even when they are not being very kind, or loving, but to see them as equals, can at times be challenging. I have found it is in my own relationship with myself, my connection, that does allow me the grace and understanding to accept where others are at, to embrace them and hold them in love no matter what their choices are.
Thank you Jacqueline for such a beautiful sharing. I can relate to this too as my mother passed recently and she physically showed us with her facial features and demeanour the times when she was truly with herself–the angel she was–and then reverted back to the painful body she was inhabiting. It was truly amazing to see the transformation into her angelic being. This was witnessed by staff, family and friends. It was a precious gift to those present to see that we are not the pain of our body but something far greater. If only we could re-member our membership of the host of angels we are!
Susan what a beautiful and precious gift you were given by your mother to witness the changes you saw in her when she was with herself, the angel she was and then to witness the difference when she reverted back to feeling the pain in her body and for you to be able to share this with those around you. It is so easy to focus on an ache or pain and lose that preciousness and beauty of feeling who we truly are, a great reminder that we are far greater than any ache or pain that our body is holding. We all have that angel within.
Thank you Susan
Wow that would have been amazing to experience that with your mother Susan.
Gave me such a warm feeling reading your comment and what an amazing blessing your mother gave everyone present in the room, showing that even with a painful sick body, the love that is our natural essence is always there…. and that we are so much more than our bodies. Thank you for this beautiful sharing Susan.
With saying your mother ‘inhabited a painful body’, you’ve given me something to ponder on, Susan. I feel that as humans, we are soooo much more than just our physical bodies… As you say, I feel that we are so much greater than our physical pains and emotions, just the potential is not being world widely acted out.
I loved your words Susan “If ony we could re-member our membership of the host of angels we are” in response to Jacqueline’s beautiful article. It is true I feel – the dis-membering our true selves is what has caused us all the emotional pain and hurts as we chose to search out there, moving further and futher away from who we truly are, loving angels, and now it feels it is indeed time to re-member and come home again.
Beautiful to share Jacqueline and Susan thank you . When my mother died of alzheimers after many years she too looked like an Angel in absolute beauty at the end even her hands were angelic! It was a very moving moment I will never forget as it was who she really was and I recognised her as this.
Susan, this is beautiful. Thank you.
Jacqueline, what a beautiful blog that honours in truth who we all naturally are, and that despite the choices we make along the way and throughout our lives, this love and this inner preciousness never ever leaves us, and is always simply waiting for us to return home to it. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing Jacqueline and well said Angela, no matter how far away we seemingly drift from love it is always there welcoming us back home.
This is so true James… forever patient and waiting.
Beautifully put Angela. Jacqueline, your blog is inspirational. A close family relative was an alcoholic who gave up with help from a clinic and we felt he came back to who he was for a short time before he died. We remember that precious time, not the person lost in alcohol.
This blog is deeply touching, thank you Jacqueline and what a beautiful comment Angela.
Yes, Priscila, it shows in the simplest possible way how we use smoking and alcohol to cope and the damage it causes. One of the nice things working with Serge Benhayon is that after a while it is really easy to stop smoking and drinking and, after the physical dependency is gone which only lasts a few days, to have no desire to start again.
Really nice.
Oh so true Christoph…I smoked (and drank) for 20 years and with a few attempts of stopping but always with its hold on me and then I met Serge Benhayon and through listening to what he had to say, applying some of the principals to my own life – I stopped smoking and drinking effortlessly.
This is beautiful Angela, ‘this love and this inner preciousness never leaves us’, this is a wonderful reminder for me that no matter what choices I or other people have made that this loves is always there for us to choose.