I never knew what a true relationship was until I met Serge Benhayon and saw how he was with his family and everyone he came in contact with. I observed this deeply from afar – almost wishing that I could be part of something so beautiful. I remember thinking at the time, “Wow, that’s love in its fullest form.”
What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.
The way the family members would come together and eat – the way they moved towards each other and the way they cared so deeply for each other – was so beautiful. There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving. It was the love I had always wanted from my own family and the love that everyone seeks.
In the beginning I thought that love was reserved for others and not for me and that I could not be a part of that love. I also wanted to be part of Serge’s family – failing to see that I had my own family around me, and not only my direct family members but also my friends, work colleagues, flatmate and even the people I met casually on a day to day basis.
I remember sitting with an elderly lady at a bus stop one day and she was telling me she felt lonely. My reply was that you are never alone – there is always someone there, we just need to be open to everyone and treat each and every one of us with the absolute care and respect that we all deserve.
Even within my own direct family I have two Mums because one of my Mum’s best friends is a widow with no family and I have always included her in every family gathering and treated her the same as I would my own Mother; to me she is family – she’s part of my life and hence she is someone I value and care for.
Recently I discovered that I had feelings for a friend of mine I’ve known for quite some time but always dismissed because I never felt it would work on a practical level, given he lives on the other side of the world. I’ve always felt a connection to him but because of the logistics, I held back from expressing my feelings or developing the relationship further.
Since expressing my love for this man it has allowed me to express my love for others more freely, to be more open and honest with how I feel about all the people in my life. To see people for who they are and to appreciate the qualities they bring to me and to everyone else – sometimes when they can’t see it themselves.
So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times. It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.
So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.
This blog was inspired after many years of knowing, observing and learning with Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and his family members, who are a great example for developing and expanding our own family and how we are within that family to develop love for all.
By Fiona Shuttleworth, Sales Assistant, Brighton, East Sussex, UK
Further Reading:
Serge Benhayon
Letting People In – True Love for All
Seeking Connection and True Relationships
“ It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves”. Love is very simple when we let go of all impositions onto others like expectations or judgements, and allow them to be – we know this works because to receive that ourselves feels amazing. Considering how much we all want to experience love, and how much there is spoken, written, and sung about it, there is actually very little that is lived or otherwise expressed that truly represents love – interesting!
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” So true Fiona. The more we are open to love, the deeper the love in all our relationships.
It is interesting Fiona that today I read these words
“What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.”
As yesterday someone described to me that they feel that Serge Benhayon walks in a flow it is the flow of the universe this gave me a deeper understanding that we have cut ourselves off from the Universe and left it to the scientists to inform us. But to me they have no understanding of our universe and so have reduced the magnificent and wonder down to something like dry parchment. It’s almost as though there is a conspiracy theory to shut us out from knowing anything about the universe other than the basics of what we are taught. Then along comes Serge Benhayon and walks in a way (a flow) that brings the universe into everyday life for everyone to feel.
Prior to my involvement in UM I had not come across a true way of relating to others being lived. Now I have seen and felt the difference it helps set standards and question what has been accepted. As well as appreciating how much my relationships have changed with everyone in my life.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities…” What great words Fiona, having expectations or criticism holds people with such a narrow focus, instead of holding the whole person and loving all of them. We can also then nurture and support people in the areas they are not strong in.
Thank You Fiona, Love grows within as a forever deepening way of Loving and is an internalisation of the True Sacredness that is our responsibility, our responsibility for everything is Sacredness it could be said.
We are so blessed Greg to live in this time where we have all been given the opportunity to re connect to the love that resides within us and then share this forever deepening love with everyone. I feel this is true sacredness when everyone is held in love.
Without appreciation relationship will be so stale. Bringing in deep appreciation for another is the foundation for something truly heavenly.
‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ This is so simple and from my experience is absolutely true’
Fiona, I love your description of a true relationship – this is really beautiful; ‘ It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.’
Why can’t we all be like this with one another, ‘There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving. ‘
Its a great question that I keep asking myself – how to be love, the same love with everyone at any given point of time. The answer I keep coming back to is that I have a responsibility to make sure that I am in love, and then that offer is available to everyone. When I feel a difference then I know something is up and so how am I holding back or what is going on?
Fiona, this is really gorgeous; ‘It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.’ This is super helpful and makes me realise how important it is to hold others in love and not react or judge their behaviours – thank you for the reminder.
What a different place the world would be if we were like this with everyone, ‘how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us’.
“What is a True Relationship and How Does that Feel? ” – in one word Fiona – joyful
These are such wise words Fiona. “The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” Just imagine if we had this wisdom shared with us as children, how different life would be, not just for us, but for all those we come into contact with in every part of our day; the ripples of love would be never ending.
This is so true we are ‘never alone – there is always someone there’.
Agree Vicky and how wonderful is that. Feeling the togetherness, deeply supported, loved and met for who we really are is a blessing to be lived and enjoyed.
“to me she is family – she’s part of my life and hence she is someone I value and care for” when we value and care for all as a family member of humanity love will know no bounds.
I love this blog and how you describe “a movement of love”. Your blog itself feels like a movement of love makes one wonder why we would possibly live any other way?
We grow ourselves by connecting to who we are.
Even though it is not said in this article, intimacy is the word that seems to flow throughout your writing. With an openness to learning and exploring what true intimacy is.
When love moves how beautiful this feels…..and this can be our new normal!
Love and our relationship with our evolving Livingness is the lesson in life that is well worth the journey and all the learnings that will return us to our essence are a blessing. So each step taken in the Love that we can all reconnect to is the path that we all must take on our return to re-connect to our inner-heart, essence and or Esoteric as we evolve.
A movement of love indeed, when we do not measure how much we let out of ourselves to different people.
I agree true love is seen in the movement towards each other and in the settlement and transparency people have with each other.
“There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other” I really noticed this as well and how we take this form of humour as normal and loving. The seeds of self-doubt it lays in the body ready to germinate at any point needs constant ‘weeding’ and what we use to pretend it wasn’t heard is often a dysfunctional coping mechanism.
This is great Lucy, Love has as a constant understanding of what is True in life and is devoid of any self-cretic, so being Loving needs to be nourished and nurtured other-wise we end up in a state of being, which is weeding out the dysfunctional coping mechanism.
Being alert and aware to the energy that is being delivered in our interaction with others we can begin to discern what is true – what is coming through them as being of a divine nature or not and whether we are reacting or responding. In order to read what is truly going on we need to be connected, present with and in our bodies. Feeling from the body we know what is happening.
“So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times” this is so beautiful, this beholding love that asks nothing of the other but to love them with equality, for who they truly are.
I love how you describe the feeling of a true relationship as a ‘movement of love’ and all our movements can express love with everyone we meet.
I was also deeply inspired and confirmed when I met Serge Benhayon and his family for the first time. For a long time I had felt there was something missing in my relationships and I could feel in the reflection the Benhayon family offered that that was what I had been missing. From there it is easy to ‘want that too and be part of it’ but to not realize that we can develop this ourselves. Of course we can’t be with Serge or any of his family all the time and we don’t need to because what they offer is a different way and they don’t hold anything back of how to start it for ourselves and all people we know.
You’ve hit the nail on the head, Fiona, when you write about appreciating others as this I feel is often lacking in our relationships. Not only does appreciation work wonders for ourselves but it changes the relationships we have with family, friends and work colleagues.
What a different place the world would be if we were like this with everyone, ‘how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us’.
Appreciation for ourselves and others makes such a difference in our relationships, ‘ how about we appreciate and value each other’.
Thank you Fiona, for it shares the truth of when we allow our love to be expressed in the way it comes – we build a relationship with ourselves first, which goes out into the world with all our other relationships. That to me is the magic of when you connect to who you are.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other…” – Too often we tend to focus on the qualities that we or another person does not normally express or something that we feel is a negative trait. But I can feel that what Fiona is offering here is a different approach, where if we nurture and appreciate those attributes that we feel are loving and true, then that person and ourselves can see that is our natural way and build upon that foundation, rather than focusing on the negative and then only seeing the reflection of that back to us (which nobody wants anyways).
Comparing our family to another and ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ thing has us not appreciating those that we have around us and the power we have in bringing a quality of decency, respect and love to them as our gift to the family.
That ‘greener grass’ definitely has the power to nudge us away from what is right in front of us, and in what is in front of us there is always something to appreciate. We seem to spend so much time wanting what others have that we totally miss the wonderful gifts that those around us have to offer.
‘It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.’ – so often we crave to be treated like that, to want to be in a relationship so that we can get that – but if we make that our priority, instead of developing it for ourselves, then what happens if and when the other person has a bad day or leaves us? The most solid, loving foundation we can give to ourselves – and from there, with each other – is when we start treating ourselves with that deep nurturing, love and care, and above all, building that consistency and trust in ourselves.
Yes when we develop a truly loving relationship with ourselves then we have an awesome foundation for all our other relationships and the reflection of this is super powerful.
“We are never alone” so very true Fiona. Yesterday I was buying something from a garage and I got speaking to the lady who served me she told me how she was still grieving for her husband who died a year ago, I told her the same thing in that we are never alone and that true love never dies.We are so much mored loved and supported then we could ever imagine.
It is true we are never alone and are not only surrounded by an unfathomable amount of love but have it forever passing through us. For many this is not their experience at all and these words would be unrelatable as it once would have been for me – but now I know them to be true and one day everyone will.
I love what you have shared here Fiona and how every relationship offers us the potential to heal, inspire, confirm and deepen the love we are as such to evolve. How incredible that every day this is what is available for us to explore, that we are held by a great love that is always calling us to return to.
‘every relationship offers us the potential to heal, inspire, confirm and deepen the love we are as such to evolve’ yes it is not just partner relationships which offer this, but every relationship. We really do have the opportunity to deepen our relationship with ourselves in every moment, we really are held in love.
A beautiful reminder that we are able to bring all of us to everyone, this is an actually joy-full practise, for it asks you to be you, as open as you can be and willing to connect from an eternity (our endless love).
“So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times” So well said Fiona this is beautiful when we see it like this it is a win win for everyone.
So often we look for the ‘grass is greener’ over there but in doing so we miss the gold that is in front of us. I have constellated an amazing family and friends around me, however, when I am in my stuff, I don’t value this, instead I look to ‘what could be better’ and can feel in this it is an abuse of myself and everyone in my life.
There’s that funny old saying ‘all roads lead to Rome’ – truly it should be that all connections lead us home. For pursuing one at the exclusion of others will never work but just take us down a dead end street. Every relationship is here to encourage us to raise the bar with everyone we meet. Thank you Fiona.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” Beautifully said Fiona and this is one of the reasons why being a member of the student community of Universal Medicine is to be part of a family that is learning to deepen an appreciation, value and love of the wider family of humanity.
It’s very very significant just how the Benhayon family lives. How they live is impacting the world. Through our interactions with them this is carrying over into our families and true love and thus family is being felt. It’s the ultimate responsibility in evolution and responding to being continually pulled up to more love in firmness and commitment to the what is next. True family is treating all in this same manner not just the blood relatives.
“There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving.”
This way of interacting in family is what we all know is possible – this is why the snide remarks, digs and disrespectful jokes hurt so deeply.
“Wow, that’s love in its fullest form.” yes and what a blessing it is to have Serge Benhayon and his family living this, showing us a true way to be with each other.
Yes Fiona, it is very beautiful to observe, ‘What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.’
If this is love and this is a true relationship, could anything less simply be abuse?
This is beautiful, Fiona.. that love is respect, fun, decency and something you can trust, and that it develops equally with all others, as we develop that love within ourselves. Building trust and consistency starts with our own bodies: do we honour what we feel and do what it says, or drag it around behind us, never listening and always compromising ourselves? Learning to listen to the body and not the mind, and to discern the difference between the two, is a beautiful work in progress and fun to experiment with, because the body doesn’t judge. It just shows us our choices and their consequences.
The essence of love has not a thought or idea, it emanates, spreads out from deep with in and it meets that same essence in another, it give rise to a way of communicating that comes from this connection. No amount of positive thinking comes even close to allowing our love to emanate.
We can have a true relationship with someone for 5 minutes and never see them again or we can share a large part of our life with someone and not even scratch the surface to having a true relationship. I can relate to what you share about your observations of Serge Benhayon and his family. When we choose to not live in a truly loving way, it can almost be overwhelming. But I agree they are so open and the same with everyone they meet only to show us that we can all be the same way in all of our relationships, including with them.
It is a scary thought (and so true) that its possible to live for years with someone and not get to the truth of who we are, and why we are in relationship…. instead choosing a convenient level to settle at. This is what arrangements are made of and those kind of relationships evolve no one.
I am just starting to see more how much protection I still live in, I can now observe that I try and read how open someone will be with me and I determine how I will then be with them based on this but I am not seeing it accurately as I am reading it from protection.
I have the joy of now holding Fiona who wrote this as a loved member of my family in that she moved across the world, married this wonderful man and now works with me. It is beautiful to observe how much Fiona lives what she has written and how much she loves and values people across the board. It is hard not to smile when Fiona is around.
So true that the more we appreciate and value ourselves, the more we are able to do this with others.
Fiona it’s so beautiful how you describe the way Serge Benhayon and his family are with each other and everyone else – a ‘movement of love’. I have observed this for myself and continue to be inspired that this is how we can and ought to be with each other. Our bodies are in fact made, naturally designed, to move in love.
Each time I open up to another or others I witness a minor miracle.
‘So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships.’ This is how it should be. We can’t reserve ourselves for one or a few because how we are with everyone else effects those we hold dear. It is one in the same and and the quality of those relationships ultimately comes back to our relationship to ourselves.
Very true Rachael. Every relationship we have offers us a reflection into an aspect of ourselves. Every relationship we have is precious because from each one, we have the potential to learn so much.
Serge is always there reflecting to us how to live, and of course , how to love.
This is a beautiful reminder to never hold back the love that we feel for another.
It does feel lovely to appreciate each other and allow another to be where they are at. But I find if I now have that understanding for myself first then it cannot be shared with another.
When I didn’t appreciate myself I couldn’t appreciate any one else, makes sense. Now that I appreciate myself and the qualities I bring to life, it’s super easy and normal to see what others bring and appreciate them.
Fiona I always get so much enjoyment from reading this, thank you! This is a great line about people, “seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times. It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.” I feel for myself if I have a picture of how a relationship should be then it’s very much about what people do or don’t do (expectations) instead of it being about two people connecting essence to essence.
Love that my initial thought was a true relationship must be talking about one’s partner or spouse but then hold on, what about all our relationships. They too can be true all the way through family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances. Why compartmentalise, when this can be offered to all including myself.
As human beings, we are by nature imperfect but it is actually those imperfections that provides the beauty and richness in our day to day life from which we can always learn and grow from.
What I have learnt about relationships through Serge Benhayon and his family is that you can’t have one special relationship and disregard the rest, everything one relationship is will all be there with another and everyone else. So my relationship with me is vital as I take how I am with myself to every other relationship I have.
Our typical relationship we see all around us is one of stagnation and apathy, when in truth relationships are about magic, total joy and connecting to one and other on levels that are out of this world.
Love knows no bounds when it is founded from an inner connection and allowed to be expressed for all to see and feel.
It seems silly, but as I read this I can feel a huge road block to having relationships that are harmonious is our very own beliefs/blocks to letting Love into our body. The more we can fully acknowledge and deeply appreciate that we are deserving of love. In fact that it is our deepest truth the grander all of our relationships become.
It is an amazing thing to see the love that is between the Benhayon family and to not reject this or react to it, but to openly recognise it as truth and to seek that for yourself in your own relationships.
What you share is such a beautiful observation and an important message for us all to be aware of. Love is love, it cannot be measured in how we deliver or receive it as it is absolute. It is only us that attempt to diminish, discriminate, categorise and isolate love to be greater or lesser, or more or less deserving for one or another. Yet we all deserve to be met with the same degree of love, no different from one person to another. We all are love in essence, and from our essence we have much to share, and as such to inspire each other. As you say Fiona – ‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ And this is the future we all truly deserve.
“So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times. It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.” This is the pathway to true relationships and the foundational bricks of this pathway are built on our deep connection and intimacy with self first-our first step in building true relationships with everyone else.
When we stop thinking about family being our blood relatives, we suddenly realise that family are potentially everywhere – deep connections to be deepened, cherished, grown and developed. As our capacity to love grows, so the number and depth of these connections grow equally so.
A very beautiful blog. Thank you Fiona. It makes me appreciate the solid foundation of love that is growing in my body, that grows in us all when we practise being the love that we are.
I am noticing more and more that when I am real about my life and what is playing out for me I feel comfortable to share this with others that they do the same. It is as if the willingness to be real gives others the permission to feel to do the same.
We are a reflection to all others. To acknowledge this and make it important to us is deeply responsible.
This has been great to read today as it’s supported me to reflect on some points to appreciate in my own life, including how much I meet people in their essence, seeing behind the behaviours and facade they may have. It’s actually really gorgeous to do this, people literally melt, they do feel it when they are held and loved for who they truly are.
The Benhayon family has been hugely inspiring for me, offering me a lived example of how we all know in our hearts it can be. Families are often where our greatest hurts occur, rather than bring the loving, supportive and growing environments I have seen the Benhayon family being. As I have observed the Benhayon family more, I have come to realise that family is not blood relatives or those that mean something to us personally. It is all of humanity.
So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships’ I agree Fiona and being exclusive and reserving our love for a few is not true love.
Serge Benhayon inspires us to see that everything he is, we already are. We too can build deeply loving relationships with ourselves and everyone we meet and, in this way, inspire others to be the same.
To love ourselves truly and deeply is to love all truly and deeply. The same is true in reverse, if we hold back from fully loving ourselves, we will offer the same to others.
The greatest thing is to know that family is not restricted to blood ties, it is inclusive and all encompassing. True love is when we meet and connect to each person as an equal member of our universal family.
Serge Benhayon is an absolute inspiration as to how we can be with everyone. He treats everyone with equalness, regardless of who they are. The decency, respect, true caring, yet without sympathy, and the love he holds for all people is beautiful to feel and to behold.
To let the love unconditionally flow is respecting and appreciating our being to the depth of its origin.
A ‘movement of love’. Fiona, this time when I read your blog it made me cry… healing tears in the confirmation that love is expressed through a body we commit to loving to the brim, so that then this body of ours filled with its own self-love moves in this quality towards another. In the fullness of our own appreciation we appreciate those around us, and in spite of what else may be happening for them, we can see their essence shining through – and this is what we celebrate and move in.
The essence of brotherhood lies in this, which is why self-appreciation is so so key.
I agree, I also found the blog and movement of love very moving.
What a beautiful sharing Fiona and so inspiring. It is so lovely to observe others expressing love outwardly by their movements with everything about them radiating out and feels beautiful inside magnified everywhere to be felt . The more we express lovingly the more beautiful and held we feel simply being who we are.
This is beautiful Fiona – treating everyone the same, with honesty, love and openness means every relationship is deepening and a truly healing experience. We miss out when we separate people into groups e.g. family, friend. stranger, acquaintance etc. As you wrote earlier it is about being in and staying in – ‘It was more than words – it was a movement of love’.
A beautiful blog to read Fiona. I really appreciate the simplicity, wisdom and inspiration of the message, a movement of love;
“What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love”.
Allowing another to just be their true self is the greatest love one can ever be, feel and offer another.
Sure Natallija, and I know this is true and sounds so simple, I still find myself putting conditions to others in order for them to be loved by me.
Fiona, this is very beautiful, ‘So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other’, I can feel how there is much judgment of each other, that we can think that we are ‘right’ and others are ‘wrong’, rather than simply accepting where we are all at and loving ourselves and each other just as we are, seeing each other strengths and not expecting everyone to be perfect.
To be truly held in love reconfigures all our relationships
What a beautiful blog on expressing love and how true relationships blossom from this and the appreciation of the love we all are that feels amazing.
Since recently I’m living with my sister again and it’s being an amazing experience. We come from the same family and in our coexistence we are taking a lot of awareness about the patterns that we have learnt from our parents and they from theirs. By connecting with love first and foremost and expressing what is not, we are breaking lots of old behaviours and we have the feeling now of knowing each other from the first time, without limits or preconceptions. We are experiencing what a true relationship is and this is very freeing and so beautiful to feel… love is expanding between us and our whole family again
Yes, definitely – this is something we should bring into every single one of our relationships.
It is so beautiful to feel the appreciation of somebody without hearing the words.
When we strip up all of the ideas we have about relationships we can begin to open up to the possibility that relationships are not here to fill our wounds, but to helps us learn and to create a stronger bond which can be used to serve society.
How we are with one person is how we are with all. I love what you share about once you expressed your love for your friend (and now husband 🙂 ) it allowed you to express love more freely. Perhaps it’s the same when we let people in. We can practice with one person and then that becomes how we are with more and more people until we treat all equally.
When we choose to not feel our hurts and issues we impose on others and this is when the game of critique and judgement of others plays out… the blame game instead of feeling the truth within that it began with the choice to not be loving with self first.
Beautifully observed Fiona! The more we love and value our relationship to ourselves the more we are open to loving others in the same way, no matter who they are!
Family life as we know it is such a set up. We aim for the ideals as portrayed by the media, but even those pictures fall very short of true intimacy. No wonder so many of us have issues with family. What I’ve seen of the Benhayons is a role-model of what is possible if we commit to accepting one another and loving each other regardless of our choices.
Thank you Fiona, is there a follow up blog perhaps? A part two? Your blog is so enjoyable to read and I hope to read more of how your choice to express your feelings and love has unfolded further in your life. It’s amazing isn’t it that when we share our love with another, even a stranger, we feel like we know them – we are truly connected by love, thank you.
Absolutely – the more we love and appreciate ourselves, the more we value and appreciate all others and the deeper our love to respond to life.
Thank you Fiona for a beautiful sharing, I love these words ” What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” This is what we are learning about the quality of the movement we move in whether in connection with our stillness or in the raciness of the doing.
I love the deep sense of appreciation here – how to truly deepen a relationship is to deepen all relationships. That is just so gorgeous to read.
Having just attended your wedding Fiona it is very felt how opening up to and expressing love to your friend, (now husband) has allowed you to express love more deeply with all of us
That’s so important to acknowledge Mary Louise, slowly but surely I have definitely began to feel just how I am opening up to everybody rather than one person as it can never be just towards one person – that is absolutely beautiful.
It’s amazing what happens when we begin to deeply care for and nurture ourselves. There is a natural ripple effect that cannot but flow on out to those around us with the ripples becoming the foundation on which all of our relationships are built; yes, it all starts with our building a relationship with ourselves first.
So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us. Now wouldn’t that be amazing if we could all do that? The thing is, that what we see in another that we judge, is a reflection of a part of ourselves that we don’t like seeing. If we held off on the judgement, we would absolutely see and feel that they are just as divine as us.
Thank you Fiona, I appreciated these words as a simple definition of family “someone I value and care for.” Expanding how we see family simply means more people to share our love with.
We have accepted so much that is not true about relationships hence why it is so great to read a blog like this that talks about true relationships and how when we open up to just one other in full then we are opening up to all others. This is the wonderful thing about relationships if we let ourselves accept this.
Holding back your love in a relationship is the worst thing you can do. It creates tension and ironically can lead to an argument and disharmony even though in holding back that particular outcome is certainly not what is sought.
I love the way you do not single out just one person to love. Loving one person means loving all people equally so. And loving one person more means loving everyone more! So much love!
The wisdom of being in a place where I can start to understand love started with me being self-caring. The approach to be connected had to start slowly as I was so disconnected from true love. The way that I started was with also being self-nurturing with those things that now are just a normal part of my day. As I step closer to love I need all the caring and nurturing I can get. Self-caring and nurturing are never stepping stones but a foundation that love can be built on.
There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving. Teasing and having goes at each other is very common practise amongst families, it seems we have accepted this as normal family relations, but it is far from normal or in fact, love. It’s like we value having a lesser form of relationship with family and friends and so inadvertently settle for this lesser relationship and call,it, getting on, so we in fact are accepting lovelessness in our relationships, and missing out on a truly loving connection.
One based on true love not abuse. I have never had a true relationship but I do know what is not, rejection, abuse and lack of self love. We cannot look for another to love us, not one ounce, otherwise we are gone, which in my experience we get hooked into things which are actually abusive and way less than true love, because of our own needs. I am learning, and I won’t lie it’s hard because of the massive opening and need I have to be in a relationship to accept nothing less than true love. But first I need to start with myself, deepening the love I have for myself, building a true relationship with myself, not rejecting and abusive myself, and come to a place in my body where I am totally surrendered and cool with the fact I may never be in a partner relationship or live with someone in this life time. Thats a biggy for me. But well worth working on.
True relationship is a quality that has no on and off switch and cannot be lived with only some and not others – simple.
The word family in its truth is nothing like what we are told in the world that family is only bound by blood. This is a hard one to realise as the bound by family does not allow us to see the truth because of such deep root of emotional attachments to this group.
I have found this same Shirley-Ann, appreciation grows appreciation and it is ever expanding. Everyone is touched by it.
To express the love we have felt for another is the nourishment that supports the blossoming. Beautiful you did not hold back what you were feeling.
Appreciation of who we truly are and not seeking perfection: there is a world of difference in these two choices and less than a split second between them.
Spot on Fiona, appreciation is water for love, it can not grow without it.
What you experienced within the Benhayon family is amazing – for a family to sit together in appreciation of each other and not put one another down or bicker or make any unloving remarks. That is so beautiful to read and I can see how families can easily bring in things like tension and sarcasm when there really isn’t a need for this at all. What an amazing reflection for me to be aware of next time I am with family.
Appreciation for each other’s qualities is what brings about true change. Criticism and seeking perfection whilst may come with a truth, do not come with love and it is this we respond to and can hear. It is an ongoing learning for me, the more love I allow in my life the more I am able to let go of judgement and criticism and the negative thoughts that are detrimental to any relationship.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” simple and so true, appreciation for ourselves allows us to accept the love that we are and we then know that it is not for us alone but to shared with all equally and to be able to receive it back with open hearts, Thank you .
If you want to know if your relationship is true, then determine if the way you are with one person is the same as with all others. And by that I mean by determining if it is the same by way of essence, and not by way of the physical nature of your interaction. If they are not, then you need to be open to the the possibility that there is more to unravel before you can declare your relationship is true. For love is love, and it does not distinguish nor compartmentalise, nor exclude. It is an emanation that is all encompassing and therefore not something you can focus in one direction more than any other.
I loved your honesty in this blog Fiona – I’m sure many people know the feeling of observing the Benhayon family and wanting to be part of such connection , Joy and pure Love – I know I have. But that too, is a form of seeking, thinking that that love needs to come from somewhere or you need to be in the right environment or with the right people to have that love – which is not true. At anytime, with anyone and everyone, we can express the love we are and connect to the love another is unreservedly. This feels very inspiring.
A great lesson with regards to relationships and in not holding back our love. I love what you share here as well ‘for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times’.
The way to bypass all judgement of another is to give ourselves permission to see God first before we see anything else. That is, to see the essence of who another truly is and then and only then observe all that comes in to obscure the expression of this. By appreciating who we are, we do not have to waste time focussing and thus amplifying who we are not.
I love the expression the ‘movement of love’ as it describes something that can be felt, seen and heard rather than relying on the emotional sense of love that we have re-interpreted and accepted over time.
It has been expressed that Loneliness could well be the next big public health issue. … It is predicted that loneliness will reach epidemic proportions by 2030 unless preventive action is taken…. There is obviously a recognition of this disconnection… but until there is a recognition and connection with who we truly are any ‘solutions’ will just be band-aids.
“What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.”
What struck me this morning Fiona was the simplicity and power of a movement of love. As you have expressed Serge Benhayon is a beautiful divine example of consistently moving in love, thus connecting with all equally; very inspirational.
Thank you Fiona, the truth is we have so much love to express everyday and your blog has inspired me to get on with it!
“I also wanted to be part of Serge’s family – failing to see that I had my own family around me, and not only my direct family members but also my friends, work colleagues, flatmate and even the people I met casually on a day to day basis.” Thank you Fiona for writing this, I have also felt and do feel this way, but it’s because I am forgetting to see and … live … that same love that I see and feel from Serge and his family, that is inside of me. It’s a need, because I am not choosing to take responsibility for loving myself this deeply. And also forgetting we are already family.
Beautiful Fiona. True love is not constrained by distance and when we appreciate the love within ourselves then the love we feel in others grows so that we gradually come to realise we are all one family of humanity.
I love what you have expressed here Fiona; there is absolutely no doubt that Serge Benhayon lives a divine quality that is inspiring.
“What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love”.
Having observed the Benhayon Family for over 10 years has allowed me to see how a true family lives. Thank goodness there is a family that lives the future now and is able to reflect to us how we can all live. They are inclusive of every–one, the love they are with each other is equal for all.
There was a report on the radio recently saying how many people said they felt lonely, really it is a disgrace to the way we have been living to have so many lonely people. Wouldn’t it be great if we was taught at school how to deeply love and care for ourselves and others, I am sure then loneliness would be a thing of the past.
We think that living guarded is the way to go but that is so not true. How can love flow if we are protecting ourselves from that flow?
I have found that too, that when I open up to one relationship more deeply all of my relationships deepen and have a much greater quality.
Whenever a thought of loneliness creeps in, I would ask myself have I lived closeness with others, all others? If that does not feel possible, I would have to look at the core of the issue, have I lived this closeness with myself? Nothing feels more natural than being equally respectful and close in connection with everyone, as nothing feels more natural than holding each other including ourselves at all times, no matter what happens.
what a gorgeous blog, what you share here is a truth that we all know within. It is our choice to be loving to ourselves, and see this love in others equally.
Yes I too absolutely love and have been enormously inspired by how Serge Benhayon meets EVERYONE with the same love and respect and equally to witness the seemingly miraculous effect that has on people and how they respond.
You share some great points here, “So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members.” I feel we get so caught up in seeking perfection amongst our family and friends that we forgot to stop and appreciate and value each other.
Again, it always comes down to this simple truth – the quality of our relationship with self governs much of the quality of relationships with other people.
Thank you Fiona for your sharing. I agree there is no better example than Serge Benhayon and his family for us to follow in what a true relationship looks like and how it works! We are truly blessed.
A true relationship starts with self, as the more I value and appreciate me for who I am the easier it is to be open and appreciative of the others and see them for the love that they are first and not for what they are not.
I love the expression Fiona, ‘a movement of love’. It beautifully encapsulates the unspoken loving communication that can be felt very clearly from the way we move. Our movements are very powerful in all they can deliver.
We can have many concepts of what true relationship is, and we in fact get an opportunity everyday to connect with others with love. It starts with the loving relationship we have with us.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” There is no greater fuel for love than this.
Thank you for sharing this with us, it’s amazing to hear this truth spoken about relationships. In a world were we seem to have so many meanings about this word on its own, and how often we experience struggles in life and our relationships and that at times we do not know why, and also how to deal with them. It is so wonderful to know the teachings of Serge Benhayon and to find out for oneself what a relationship truly means and to receive the tools in life how to appreciate and grow ourselves, each other and beyond.
“So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships.” We lay the groundwork from our relationship with self first. Once we begin to bloom from there its amazing to see the flow on effect it has in all our relationships. Being open and honest with how we feel leads to intimacy in movement which breaks down barriers and leads the way in love everywhere.
For me the definitions of relationship and family have been totally redefined by Serge Benhayon in a way that feels so true and uplifting. Since committing to develop a relationship with myself, which had previously been almost nonexistent, my relationships with others have blossomed as well, and now I have a family that consists of my biological family, my friends and includes all those I meet in the course of my day; after all isn’t humanity simply one big family?
It can be all to easy to look at someone else and see faults, it in the short term means we do not have to look at ourselves.. “So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other…” Really seeing and valuing others, is very powerful, relationships can really heal and blossom from this choice.
It’s amazing how quickly someone reconnects to themselves when they are valued and held with love and understanding.
I found that when I give myself a hard time this impacts on the quality of relationships I have with others, I am then more judgmental and less understanding with others if this is how I have been treating myself. Also in this state I don’t feel like I deserve love so I avoid people or push away any loving or supportive gestures- this then rejects them. I am learning how irresponsible it is to not love ourselves because the impact then on others is huge.
‘Where they can trust you.” This is a massive point to make, so many people in this world have lost trust in themselves and other people. It’s about consistency, not reacting, being absolutely steady and solid in love, bringing understanding of why we or other people might choose certain behaviours, not condoning them but at the same time seeing, meeting, talking and being with ourselves or that person for the real and true them, not their behaviours, or nothing will change, we end up just shutting them out. Just as Serge Benhayon is with each and every one, no matter what the choices we have made or do make, he never judges, but holds us steady in absolute love and truth, in the knowing of who we really are. This allows me to feel me and trust myself.
“The way the family members would come together and eat – the way they moved towards each other and the way they cared so deeply for each other – was so beautiful. There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving. It was the love I had always wanted from my own family and the love that everyone seeks.” This is what true family is and can easily be. All that is stopping us living this is letting our hurts and self get in the way.
So beautifully expressed Fiona, a true relationship is “nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you”.
I love the fact that developing a true relationship with others parallels developing a true relationship with yourself.
It’s such an innocent and deeply beautiful thing to be inspired by the love shared with all in the Benhayon family. This is such a great example of the power of love and how we can be inspired to be more loving with everyone ourselves. Everyone wins.
I have been deepening my relationship with Elizabeth Dolan whom I share a house with, I so appreciate and value the way in which we care and support each other no matter how busy we are. We put what ever we are doing aside and we are there for each other. This was something I learnt from Serge Benhayon, it does not matter how busy he is, he is there for you one hundred per cent if you genuinely need his support. The more loving I am with Elizabeth the more I am with all.
Holding back love is definitely the ingredient that makes for the hurts we feel or the loneliness we can display. I have often pondered on the openness of children and how they are so quick and confident in displaying love and sharing what they love without an inch of hesitation. There is definitely a constant message from our young to tap into.
A true relationship for me is one that keeps inspiring me to go deeper, love more, express more and enjoy the ongoing learning that makes evolution so beautiful.
I have noticed particularly over recent weeks how the power of expression frees my body to allow more joy and freedom to express even more. It is not about getting it right; expression is about just saying what is there to be said and being honest to share where I am at. This can only happen in relationship with another and is always a reflection and an offering of even deeper expression.
Love is indeed a movement Fiona. It cannot be held back or reserved for just a few, it is an outpouring of the fullness of our soul connected hearts and self-replenishing as long as it is expressed and flows to all.
It is lovely and refreshing to read about true relationship where we are loving towards others without needing anything from them.
I love how you cannot consider one relationship without considering all, imagine if we put total care and respect and love into EVERY single relationship and person we met, I wonder how long it would take for the ripple effects to reach the other side of the world.
Gorgeous sharing Fiona. Indeed it is about how we are with everyone and that is a reflection of how we are with ourselves.
and not only are we in relationship with people but also with nature and God.
Reading your blog again Fiona is hugely supportive. I realised that I have sometimes forgotten to appreciate myself and others. This is when I feel reactions towards others tends to creep in. Also understanding my relationship with myself affects my relationship with others, working on deepening my connection and appreciating myself is what will support me naturally in all my other relationships to grow more love, as you say. The seed of love is within us all, how much we nurture and expand this and allow it to grow depends on our choices and our willingness to express and live love.
It’s great you mention about how initially you did not see that same love as felt with the Benhayon’s was around you too. It is so often we look out toward others and see a reflection we ourselves presume we do not have yet we already do. Hence how important appreciation is. Something I feel we do not do enough of as a human race.
True love is allowing another to be who they truly are, to be held without any impositions on how we need them to be but with a willingness to understand why they do what they do, and simply being with an open heart.
“It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” This line is gorgeous, for when we make it about love first, love can flow and excludes no-one. Like throwing the pebble in the water, love expands, holding us to be more.
What a super blog Fiona with so much in it to ponder on especially that we are never alone, and to think that we are is a great illusion and separator. When we are open to being and connecting with people, with everyone, the small exchanges and smiles here and there are also amazing as well as those deeper connections.
Only love can confirm us, as the words of the song go, and this is so true, because when you can feel your own gorgeous love, there is really nothing like it.
Love is an energy that is all encompassing, it is giving us the opportunity to see everyone as equal, and feel we are just as magnificent as everyone else.
Being able to celebrate others strengths that we may not have is such a wonderful way of living, to be inspired by others, does not allow for jealousy or comparison to come in. But to see there is a something you can develop for yourself, place more time, energy and effort on, or simply know that it isn’t something you need to master, but allow others to support you, whatever it may be.
A true relationship is when we allow each other to grow and evolve, it is about challenging what is not true and exposing all that is not love. When we bring all of us to a relationship it is a win win for everyone.
A true relationship is when we allow each other to grow and evolve, it is about challenging what is not true and exposing all that is not love. When we bring all of us to a relationship it is a win win for everyone.
” I also wanted to be part of Serge’s family – failing to see that I had my own family around me, and not only my direct family members but also my friends, work colleagues, flatmate and even the people I met casually on a day to day basis.” this is something I can relate to very well. When I first saw the beautiful way the Benhayon family were with each other I wanted to have them in my life to give me that too, yet felt I could not be part of that in that way and thought I was excluded. But it is as you say I was not seeing the people around me and was not fully willing to put work into having this love with my own family around me as I often felt hurt by them. I am doing this now and it is truly beautiful to look back and appreciate the deeper connection I now have with my own family and myself. By doing this, appreciating, it is possible to see what is truly and already there.
Leike, I often felt hurt by my own family too , and tended to be very guarded around them. However, as I have a deeper and more loving connection with myself, those hurts are just not there any more, so now I also can appreciate what is truly there and has always been there!
Relationships can hold so much love and care within them and in life everything is about relationships. How we are with others is so important, truely loving people is all that matters in the end.
It is interesting how we can get caught up in the trap of “thinking’ there are friends we are closer with then others. Could this be because of ideas that we get on better with them or they don’t push our buttons? I have noticed that when I am more open and real about myself that allows me to be the same with others realising that there is little difference between various friends just the willingness to let everyone in equally.
“What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.’- I totally agree – Serge Benhayon has shown me that we come from love and therefore we are love. Therefore how can we compartmentalise it ? The more we appreciate who we are and take loving care of ourselves the greater the love in our body which can then be felt and shared equally with others .
‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ Simple yet powerful Fiona and reminds us that the more we focus on the ‘what is’ in life the more of the ‘what is not’ falls away and the more love is available to us all equally – forever expanding and deepening.
To say: “It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you” as a solid foundation in my life requires a commitment on my behalf, a loving dedication towards myself that no matter how another chooses to live, to not react but love them with absoluteness.
To always see another for who they are first is seeing the bigger picture; nothing is ever personal.
What I get from re-reading this blog today is a beautiful reminder that it is the quality I bring that matters and not what I do or the way in which I do it or not. It is my essence that counts and not in the way I look and it is in the bringing of all of me that makes a difference.
I really had no idea what a true relationship was until I began attending presentations by Serge Benhayon. I hadn’t figured out that the reason why I struggled in so many of my relationships was simply because I had no relationship with myself; it was all about wanting to be connected to others but failing to see that to do that I needed to be in connection with me. I have slowly come to understand that when I am in connection with me, and from there appreciate all that I am, I am able to feel so clearly how building a connection with others becomes so natural.
This is really gorgeous Fiona. It really makes me appreciate some of the friends I know who are not afraid to tell me they love me. We tend to hold back even expressing this, and I am blessed to have people in my life who are open enough to say it and not hold back – and it feels so beautiful to be totally met and seen for who I am. And I then open myself up to express to family and friends how much I love them. Something we naturally feel but rarely express. It is amazing what happens when we take our love guards down and be our natural selves.
I enjoyed reading your description of the little snipes people take at each other, justified by humour.
I have been a culprit of this in the past and I thought this was simply normal, a way to connect and relate to people.
This mechanism is used to avoid the next level of connection with another person, it works on the subconscious level where it gives one more reason why a person shouldn’t trust you. In my short experience it is a behaviour that devalues the trust that is built between people.
Love is where it’s at, it is the answer to our feelings of loneliness, to bringing joy and harmony into any situation , work or home. The more I learn about what Love is (through the example and teachings of Serge Benhayon,) the more I bring it into my life. It is such a natural thing to love, so why do we feel it is so hard? We have been fed such nonsense about love including that it is an emotion, which is untrue but the myth hangs on. Thank you Fiona for sharing truth.
A true relationship is a relationship that I have with evolution. Am I wanting to connect with my divinity or am I wanting to stay stuck in my hurts because if I want to stay stuck in my hurts then I cannot have a relationship with myself or another that evolves me?
Relationships are forever changing and if we don’t need them to be a particular way we support ourselves and others to be more honest and truthful about how we are relating and being with each other.
In any new relationship, it is easy to bring our own past hurts and expectations, but that is not truly meeting another, because that means we see them through a filter that is not clear. I have observed in myself a critical and judgemental way of being that masks what is truly going on – and when I learn to listen and ‘read’ a situation, it changes how I feel about myself around other people. This can be in work situations, with friends, with a partner, anybody, anywhere. Certainly at work it enables me to work alongside a colleague in harmony instead of annoyance. Instead of giving up and dismissing other people, we can learn to see them with eyes of appreciation for their true essence, regardless of what they do.
It was beautiful to read and reflect on your blog today, Fiona, and to understand that we can open ourselves up to loving another regardless of where they live. We women are great at having a tick list of things the ideal man should be, possess and do, but what I’m finding is that when we truly meet another, they have so much to offer that wasn’t even on our list!
Serge Benhayon sets the benchmark when it comes to relationships, however we all have the capacity to also express love as he does
A powerful and true message. Expressing our Love for each other, appreciating ourselves and others in full and deeply honoring and confirming our true qualities, rather than imperfections and what we are not will grow our Love and inspire the Loving expression of another..
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” It is perpetual motion that never fails.
Thank you for this Fiona. While reading I can feel how I have held back in my heart or made judgements … it’s time to change ?
Until I met Serge Benhayon, I didn’t truly know what love was, the version I lived with was mostly emotional love, where it was conditional and wasn’t what I now understand it to be which is NOT emotional, romantic, or an ounce of neediness. It is about stillness, harmony, truth, joy, these qualities are what makes up true love.
“The way the family members would come together and eat – the way they moved towards each other and the way they cared so deeply for each other – was so beautiful. There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving. It was the love I had always wanted from my own family and the love that everyone seeks.” I clocked this as well and remember thinking at the time “this feels so beautiful and so amazingly true – this is how all relationships should feel and look like.”
“What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone, equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” Spot on Fiona and your description is absolutely gorgeous.
This is a great statement…”The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows…” and very true as in the expressing you actually do feel your own body come alive and abundant of the love that is contained within it. It is like a feedback that happens from one body to another, in expressing, both people blossom.
Seeing people for who they truly are and not their behaviour, and loving them enough to call out their behaviour when it is not loving and supportive of them or others. Learning to express how I feel without dumping emotion has made a huge difference in my relationships.
A beautiful blog Fiona. For the past 8 years of studying the Ancient Wisdom Teachings that Serge Benhayon presents, both Serge and his family continue to be an absolute inspiration of how it is possible to move and live with love and share such deep joy together, equally the same with everyone they interact with.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.”- so important what you share . Life is about relationships and brotherhood. Such an inspiring blog.
The depth of love and care consistently lived by Serge and his family has inspired me immensely. Observing Serge and the many genuine and close relationships he has with people has reminded me, this is what life is about – how we treat every single person we come in contact with.
There are those that say life is all about expression, and they would be right. But where does expression come from? It comes from movement. And yet we have been fooled into thinking that we move in accordance with how we express, not realising that we actually express in accordance to how we move.
I know that attitude well, where we expect everyone to be perfect and considerate but we ourselves at times fall very short of that expectation. It really does help to change focus and place emphasis on appreciation instead of the bickering and constantly criticizing each other for our shortcomings. And it starts with oneself, as we are often our own worst critic.
A delicious read, thank you Fiona and such a needed subject to talk about as the care for each other is rapidly declining in our society, everybody seems to be too exhausted and just too busy with themselves to bother wondering where the other is at and what their needs are.
Serge Benhayon certainly shows us that, in our natural state, we are in relationship with everybody all of the time equally so; he demonstrates and lives this constantly; a movement of love. What you have expressed in your blog is very inspiring, thank you;
“What struck me most at the time was how he (Serge Benhayon) was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love”.
Once I chose love and returned to love so love became an ‘unfolding’ part of me, I had to and still do use self-love as a tool. The tools or techniques that are acquired to start the simple journey of return are never lost, so I can be forever vigilant to not lose myself to the love-less energy that once ruled my life. Simplicity is a key because complications are always love-less, so by keeping life simple I have learned many lessons and have many more ‘lessons’ to learn and as a forever Student of The Livingness I appreciate how far I have come while being aware of the journey that lies ahead.
When you talk about that total equality of love, I too have felt it when around the Benhayon family, and likewise it is not reserved for a Mum, Dad or siblings, but for everyone equally so. The reason… quite simply that there is a depth of self love that these inspirational people have which is second to none… and that allows them to feel enormous love, as well as carry the responsibility to share that equally with everyone.
Simply loving someone for who they are, and not what they do is beautiful to experience, and to experience this is also gorgeous, ‘ It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.’
This week I noticed that I wanted somebody around me to be different in a certain area (to be more like me ha ha) and the moment I felt that, I stopped. What I observed was that I can actually learn a lot from this person BECAUSE he is different in this area and that I get this reflection for me to grow.
Beautifully said Fiona , – ‘So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” Fiona this is so true. I know that the more I deepen my own love for myself, the more I am open to recieving that love back and it starts to come from every angle, and from there it is limitless.
“Since expressing my love for this man it has allowed me to express my love for others more freely, to be more open and honest with how I feel about all the people in my life” – so true Fiona, the more we love, the more love we feel, to express more deeply our total love.
You so beautifully share this line Fiona, “It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you”, whilst reading these words I was aware of how nurtured they made me feel, and realised how wonderful it is that shared words, such as these can impact another, however far they are away, because energetically we are all connected, it is true, love truly has no boundaries.
Thank-you for sharing ‘you’ and your experiences here in this blog Fiona, for they mean so much. Our world is torn asunder with conflict, hurt, harm and pain in relationships, and the healing of this begins with us – the ‘micro’ affects the ‘macro’, and if we want true change, we are all called to look responsibly at the quality of relationships we live in our own lives.
When we see a depth of love in relationships being lived, as I also know the Benhayon family to live Fiona, it can bring up a lot for us. For we can’t but receive this reflection, that shows us where we have not committed so deeply to the relationships in our own lives – our relationships both with ourselves, and also with others.
It takes a deep willingness and honesty to acknowledge this, and make the choice to open one’s heart to letting people in (to ‘us’) and loving and expressing love to others openly.
Relationships are the greatest learning ground, about ourselves and others, most definitely so…
Fiona, I deeply honour what you’ve shared here, that true relationships are about valuing and appreciating the other, and oneself, deeply. As we let go our expectations of others, our needs and our demands, we come to know what real love actually is… i.e. it is our ability to hold another in the truth of who they are, knowing this truth to the bone, and continually seeing and deepening our understanding of all that this is.
Our relationship with ourselves and our relationship with others goes hand in hand. The more we love ourselves the more we can be that love with others, which inspires creates true joy and trust in relationships.
“It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times”. There are certainly behaviours which bludgeon our connection to love, but that doesn’t mean our essence becomes tarnished. Love is also wisdom and understanding.
This is such a powerful statement “So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” Understanding and appreciation are such powerful qualities to share.
I have been completely surprised but me finding out that the way I connect to people has a huge influence on my well-being and how I feel. Much bigger than I thought it would be.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.”-
Great message to ponder on Fiona. I feel I am being asked to go deeper within myself, to therefore love and appreciate my family more.
The Benhayon family set the benchmark of how to be in true relationship, and as you have stated Fiona we all have the same opportunity to express in the same love and respect to the people around us
“My reply was that you are never alone – there is always someone there, we just need to be open to everyone…” – how pertinently true Fiona, and I’ve found this the case myself… in the past i can recall that when i use to feel lonely or alone in the world, i equally felt very closed off within myself which would mean nobody could get to me, which in turn exacerbated my sense of ‘being alone’, and sad about it. Opening up myself to myself, via understanding who I was, opened me up to others beyond my professional job of recruiting where i deal with people every day. As I loosened up myself in regards taking myself more lightly in life, less critical and berating, the opening made me accessible, reachable and more fun to be with on a more deeper level than before. I realised we only feel lonely when we’ve lost the connection with ourselves – that’s the real part of ‘feeling lonely’.
So true. This feeling of loneliness is an effect of the dis-connecting from myself. I found that there are so many ways to restore that connection. Just acknowledging it is me, feeling into it what led to that, often gives a shift or making the movement to share this with someone else, opens me up just by the movement itself. I realize just by writing that love is to close, the connection is there, always, people around physically or virtually. The connection is.
Hello Fiona and for me a true relationship can be with anyone or anything. In other words it’s not just about person to person. I see this like any relationship the need to be fresh in every moment and not carry things, perceptions, ideas, pictures etc of how things should look. If we are carrying anything from one relationship to the next, even if it’s with the same person or thing then this isn’t a true relationship because you are already setting it up for it to ‘be’ something. I know this may sound difficult or idealistic but it’s true. Any relationship is forever changing in every moment, it is only ‘us’ that hold it to try and fit it into where we need. I feel from reading this blog I can keep letting go and not carrying relationships around and then be always ready, fresh to meet the next relationship whatever that may look like.
‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ an undeniable fact Fiona . . and what a beautiful way to grow love.
Fiona, reading this gave me a deep feeling of the responsibiltiy I have to express lovingly with everyone I meet. How in the past I have used humour to cover up uncomfortable situations or a cheesy but false smile, but more I can see it is better just to wear my real face, not the poker one of niceness. And from there all relationships wil be as they are meant to be, and love will be flowing in and out, just maybe not in the form I used to believe love was shared.
We have narrowed down the word relationship to be something we have between a few people that are close to us. Yet in truth we are in a relationship with everyone we meet. With this comes a deeper awareness and understanding of each meeting, it is no longer just a casual acquaintance but a caring loving moment with another.
When we let in a stranger that we have never met or spoken to before we quickly realise that we are all family, that there can be a connection immediately.
There is such a difference between what we have always assumed a relationship to be and a true relationship. It is gorgeous to feel the openness here and how inclusive it is. In the past I have always used my relationships as a way to exclude others. What I feel here is that this is not the case at all and that your relationship is actually helping you to open to others in the most beautiful way. It is very inspiring. Thank you.
‘A movement of love’. I am learning how powerful this is. To love from my body requires ‘all of me’ and I am beginning to understand that when I do not love in full, what I do express comes from ideals, beliefs, habits etc. A movement of love is a much deeper commitment to myself and to another.
It was more than words – it was a movement of love. Fiona, this is so spot on, as we are connected with ourselves, there is this natural impulse to move differently and in a way that flows in to every part of what we are doing and then into the next thing. And there is grace and tenderness present. True love has a way of moving that compliments everything.
As we all are connected and on some sort of religious journey, even the agnostics would consider the unifying truth or brotherhood that is presented by Serge Benhayon acceptable and totally livable. The lived wisdom that is presented by Serge Benhayon brings love and truth to a whole new realm, which has become a Livingness for many, with our part to ‘appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired….. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows’
Relationships are so important for all of us, and they are there to develop our strengths together. In a loving bond with everyone.
“So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships.” Fiona this all encompassing approach is also what I have come to understand true relationships to be about, that we can’t have a relationship with one person unless we are willing to have the same quality with all others. Turns on its head the concept of loving family more than anyone else.
I was very touched Fiona when you wrote that once you allowed to express the love to the man that it has an effect of loving other people equally more. Understanding that we can only allow our love to flow and that it can be felt by all people if we measure our family member or husbands are equally miss out. So it is an illusion to think we can love just our husband and ignore the rest of the world.
Great to read this again this morning and to realise that my own body is calling out for a deepening of love from me. If I choose to ignore this I am refusing love, saying no to myself and shutting everyone else out too. Surrendering to a deeper connection with myself which may mean changing comfortable patterns of behaviour which are not in truth comfortable at all, is the only way to go to keep growing the love that you speak of.
I love the fact that a true relationship is one that allows us to open to connection in the same way with everyone. It is not purely about an intense relationship with one person that excludes all others. It is about developing an open heart that is inclusive of all others, and the depth of connection shared with one person is possible with all. I love how you have shared this openly. I can feel your love and generosity and your very big heart.
Appreciation is a beautiful way to hold and nurture one another and it creates intimacy and warmth in all relationships. A great foundation for life, love and honesty in all facets of our lives today. Thank you Fiona.
Love has ripple effects! Isn’t it beautifull to observe how opening up to one person leads to ripple effects of love to so many others! “Since expressing my love for this man it has allowed me to express my love for others more freely, to be more open and honest with how I feel about all the people in my life.”
Fiona, I love your blog because for me life itself is about relationships, both with ourself and with people around us, – absolutely everyone. I also love these simple words: “a true relationship is developing all relationships” – it’s like opening up a tap and then the joy of connecting to all is pouring out.
Instead of focusing on people’s weakness’s and judging or wanting them or our selves to be better, or perfect, which is impossible, how much more lovely is it to simply notice and appreciate what we do bring, ‘instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us’
Appreciation is hugely important in our lives, and helps to change our views on the world,
‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’
I love the way in which expressing our feelings and love toward one person leads to the desire to be this way with more and more people in our lives. A gorgeous confirmation of true relationships.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” Thank you for these words Fiona and I really enjoyed coming back to this blog as it reminded me of my larger family and the support that we all have between us. From the regular customers I meet at work to my flat mate, blood family and even supposedly ‘random’ strangers I meet at the petrol station. When we are open to the love within us we open up to the love that can come from others.
How you describe the Benhayon’s is gorgeous you really capture the love they live and show unreservedly is possible in every interaction and in every moment. It is beyond inspirational.
This is a great sharing Fiona that family is not limited to blood is so true and the more I accept this and allow this to be the more I feel this connection to everyone, this might sound a bit ‘out there’ but even when I am driving and I connect momentarily with the passing driver it feels like family, like there is no barrier between us. Love is certainly an amazing quality of connection that can happen in an instant.
Serge and his family offer a true reflection of what love is, it is very inspiring, and I miss that level of true love being in my life, I know this starts with a deep love for self that expands wider and wider to include everyone eventually. I am building love and appreciation into my life and sharing this more and more.
Love to return to this gorgeous blog Fiona. It is a great reminder for us all that we are never alone, and that there is always someone there, we just have to be open and let them in which means just sharing ourselves, sharing how we are feeling….. most love the opportunity to support us but sometimes we do have to ask.
“What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love”.
A movement of love, by Serge Benhayon, that is deeply felt and appreciated; his movements are indeed inspiring.
Thank you Fiona for encouraging us to appreciate and accept ourselves and others in the movement of love.
To notice the “movement of love” Serge Benhayon shares equally with all highlights for me the fact we all must know it’s quality to be drawn to it … What I am learning, and like Adam beautifully shared, is that being open to developing this relationship with love, can at times be “hard work “, “awkward” and even “intense” but as I and I am sure many others have felt along the way, through a willingness to stay open, – Always worth it ! This is the reflection I continue to be inspired by not only with Serge but many others … As this true ripple affect helps to breakdown the barriers we have first in ourselves to then be open to ” loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives, seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times”.
Thanks Fiona for being open to share yourself with us…
There is much to learn from watching the Benhayon family. They are a gift to humanity. Showing us all what is possible and on offer – equally for us all if we so choose to live it.
“My reply was that you are never alone – there is always someone there, we just need to be open to everyone and treat each and every one of us with the absolute care and respect that we all deserve.” I love the point you make here Fiona. We are in a world full of people – it is mostly the ideal that we only can be ourselves, love and care for our family that separates us from the ‘other’ people and causes loneliness as a result. I do not have many friends or (blood) family around me where I live, but feeling all the people around me and learning more and more how I am connected with everyone and to be myself- which is beautiful to feel and our true way to live.
It brings a feeling of deep joy when connecting deeper with others, simply from being more connected with myself first.
This is the foundation for developing a different relationship for me with The Hierarchy and God, something I never felt of ever saying, prior to Universal Medicine presentations.
Benhayon’s family are the living example that the love is a qualitiy to connect, with ourselves first and then to share with everyone equally. It’s a bleesing to see and learn that another way to build relationships from a foundation of love, care and respect is the only one way to truly have quality connections with people in our lives.
“….The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” That’s beautiful. Letting go the ideas about what a perfect relationship is brings me many ways to connect with people and appreciate myself as them by the natural qualities and the authenticity that we bring to the world. Then, when I’m expressing openly without seeking perfection or looking for any outcome the connection happens naturally. Thank you Fiona for this inspiring blog.
When we “…appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities …” , it breaks down any block, guard or negative thought that can be there which prevent harmonious relationships developing. Its such a great exercise to practice to see and feel how this transforms relationships.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities..”. I love building this in all my relationships and it makes life just so truly beautiful.
We seek perfection in others because first and foremost we are not satisfied with ourselves. Appreciating and loving ourselves and others goes hand in hand.
A great simple blog Fiona and very well written. This part is again simply the way to change the world, “So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” To notice and appreciate something in another already means you know it inside out otherwise you could have never clocked it so clearly in someone else. We seem to have know true idea of who we actually truly are.
So many of us are hindered by this need to be perfect or see perfection in another. Perfect does not exist so it is an empty concept that when looked for keeps us totally separated from ourselves and each other.
We are never alone. unless you live in a cave and never see the light of day. But in that case, you would die from starvation in a couple weeks anyway.
However what makes us feel lonely is the lack of quality connections between people.
And most of all the quality of connection we hold with ourselves.
That’s true Luke, what made me feel alone in the past was this lack of connection with myself where I found so struggling to appreciate me and appreciate others. I lived in this cave for many years, but luckily I didn’t die! I’m alive, enjoying every second of my life loving myself first to truly love everyone equally so, this makes me feel free to express from who I am, celebrate and enjoy of being one with every person in this world.
Fiona this really shows that relationships are stronger than just the word family – and we can almost take our family for granted, but what you share here is now if we are to be the same with everyone equally, blood or not, then we put the relationship and the purpose of that relationship first. Serge holds everyone equally, blood related or not – and that shows the absolute love that can be offered.
This is so true – appreciation and acceptance of ourself as simply being enough, begins the overflowing of this out to others and embraces them in an all-encompassing-way with appreciation and acceptance too. And thus, our return to love and harmony with all is possible.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows”.
I can relate to your experience of observing the Benhayon family, I recall thinking that a brother and sister must have been a couple before I knew who they were; simply because of the loving affection they were expressing together and this being something you just don’t see anywhere else. Thank you Fiona for writing about the love that you are expressing with ‘all of our family members’ as this is something I value as super important in the world too, I love the fact that we are never alone and thus can hold connections as equally with anyone.
It is a lovely way of being in the world knowing that everybody we meet brings some unique qualities to this world. With this knowing, then every meeting I have is like a present, for me to unwrap.
‘ With this knowing, then every meeting I have is like a present, for me to unwrap’. Gorgeous Mariette, and will take this into my day…..
Your words on true relationship Fiona – “It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times” – yes, very true, and when it is the opposite and judging of a person by their behaviour, it’s a sign that we’ve already taken a step to judge ourselves, and so allowing someone to be themselves is through honouring that same quality within ourselves. The unfolding and deepening of self-acceptance, is acceptance of all.
Re-reading the penultimate paragraph reveals just how easily we can get caught up in circumstances and place expectations of each other within our relationships which mask the true beauty in appreciation of one another.
Thank you Fiona for a gorgeous blog and for living what you write. I too live on the other side of the world but knowing you from afar and working on a voluntary project with you, I have observed how loving, all-inclusive and gorgeous you are with everyone!
As you say “a true relationship is developing all relationships”. This is a level of responsibility that we often don’t acknowledge, but how we are with ourselves and any one person affects how we are with everyone. There is no on and off switch – we can’t say I love you and not you although we like to imagine we can but then we are not talking about true love but emotional love which is not love at all but emotions!
I had this same experience when I saw the Benhayon family together over several days during my first Retreat in Vietnam in 2009. I was totally in awe of seeing their interactions and coming together during the breaks – I remember feeling a deep sadness of a fleeting moment of something remembered deeply, but left behind long ago. In the eight years of knowing this family, I have never seen them behave any differently with each other and other people. In my book, no doubt as to them being the real deal and a living reflection of what is there for all of us as we choose to make changes and live naturally.
“The way the family members would come together and eat – the way they moved towards each other and the way they cared so deeply for each other – was so beautiful. There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving”.
Fiona I love the way that once you opened up and started to appreciate the family around you that your love grew naturally so and you were able to express what you had up to then been holding back. We can never underestimate the power of appreciation it turns everything around and is the underpinning of true relationships.
It is crazy to think that the way we are in one part of our lives does not have any impact on the other parts of our lives. We carry EVERY single thought, word and action with us ALL of the time until we clear that imprint from our way of living.
It can be so convenient for us adults to forget this simple truth that you share Joshua which deserves a repeat: “We carry EVERY single thought, word and action with us ALL of the time until we clear that imprint from our way of living’.
What I have observed and love about Serge Benhayon is how he interacts with everyone. He gives everyone his full attention; treats everyone with respect and equality. His words are always loving and come from truth.
And his interaction with his family is definitely something to be valued and very inspiring- “There are no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it is just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving.”
‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ It is only recently that I began to appreciate just how much appreciation goes hand in hand with love. It is like a love fertiliser, supporting growth and blossoming.
Being openly loving in relationships is something very precious, and something I’m choosing in life. Slowly, slowly the walls of protection are falling down, and it becomes clear that love does not pick and choose who is worth loving, but just loves.
I really appreciate Fiona the level of allowing and appreciation that you give yourself and others. That to me is a real sign and the foundation for a true relationship.
I love re reading this blog and noticing how I can drop my pictures around what true relationships looks like. Just sitting in a courtesy car with the driver the other day and allowing him totally in without having to engage in small or polite conversation what a great movement towards developing true relationship.
‘What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so’ this was amazing for me to see and feel when I first met Serge. An inspiration of how I could be in the world.
And it’s such an inspiration and true reflection of what is possible and truly natural to our way of being in truth.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows”: such wise and true words Fiona, and that appreciation is one of the building blocks of a loving and honest relationship, which begins of course with the most important relationship, the one we have with ourselves.
I have found opening up and sharing love with whoever, whenever and wherever possible to be an absolute joy. I used to think and believe it was not appropriate to love someone other than my partner and ones immediate family but now since discovering the true meaning of love through the presentations of Serge Benhayon, healing my hurts and appreciating how empty I had been within myself love is no longer exclusive but inclusive. Truly living changing.
Fiona thank you for sharing “true relationship” what stood out for me is that fact that in true relationship we are the same with everyone equally, its not that we have a true relationship with one person and not another but that we have the same openness and quality in how we approach the relationship with all.
Thank you Mary, having just read your sentence; ‘If someone is rejecting it is not you they are rejecting but the love that is being reflected back to them’. I finally understood this now too, for in the past I have always took this so personally!
Beautiful sharing Fiona, with lots of little gems of wisdom. And I agree, once we express, love for one person, it becomes easier to express that love with all others in our life. What I am learning is to just be love and to share my love without needing anything in return.
You express with beautiful honesty Fiona. I love the way you identify that you once felt you had to be a part of the Benhayon family to experience the love they share. I am pretty sure I once felt this way too. I have always been in awe of the love that this family reflects and over the last few years I have begun to incorporate what I have learned from observing the Benhayon family into my own relationships with others. The Benhayons are inspirational and they have left me with no doubt that we can live true love here on earth.
An amazing blog bringing the truth to relationships and love and what it deeply means. The support holding nurturing and caring for each other is beautiful to feel and my whole body settles to the stillness of this, lovingly known inside. The true relationship shown to us all by Serge Benhayon is an inspiration and revelation for humanity to live ourselves, also a real movement of love as you share so beautifully here. Thank you Fiona.
‘Since expressing my love for this man it has allowed me to express my love for others more freely, to be more open and honest with how I feel about all the people in my life’ ~ this is my experience too Fiona and one that I treasure deeply. Being truly in love with one cannot be contained. It naturally expands and includes everyone.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members”. That’s great point if we start to appreciate and value each other, this will support us in inspiring one another.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members”. That’s great point if we start to appreciate and value each other, this will support us in inspiring one another.
The hurts we carry affects all of our relationships for every issue I create with another affects every one and every thing I come into contact with. It is an illusion to have an issue with another is just between the other and I for we are all connected to each other.
Our thoughts can indeed over-ride what is truly felt in the body and this is so abusive to our well being. To not jump ahead and think about how a relationship will plan out but to trust and allow the unfolding are key.
‘Since expressing my love for this man it has allowed me to express my love for others more freely’, this beautifully confirms to me the fact that the more open and loving we are the more we tap into the fact that love is an endless thing that we simply let ourselves expand into or not.
I love this Matilda, ‘ love is an endless thing that we simply let ourselves expand into or not’. I feel expanded just reading this simple truth.
Great article Fiona, thank you. I have to agree with you, as through self appreciation relationships and appreciation of others naturally blossom. A gorgeous equality and harmony in all relationships is felt.
Fiona your blog bought my attention to deepening relationships and with that I also had to look at the depth I was willing to share and go with each person, and I found I was still measuring and adjusting according to the level of protection I felt ‘comfortable’ with. It’s a good question to keep asking Fiona as I feel I am still living a measured life especially with relationships
Fiona it’s been a timely reminder to look at my relationships and look at where I am holding back! Recently I read a letter’ singing the praises of another’ in appreciation for who they are and what they bring and it had me realise how much I hold back my full and true expression in my relationships
This is beautiful Fiona, “So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities…” We find it so easy to be quick and judgmental of others and of ourselves, but letting go of seeking perfection and appreciating all that we have to bring transforms the basis of all relationships.
I love your description of true relationship by “nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you’ and not that but it is something to apply equally to everyone in life. Now this sure beats the old hoping for the “right person” to arrive, one day and feeling lonely because such a person has not shown up.
One of the most beautiful effects I have found comes along with loving myself more is that I can see the love within others, even when they may not acknowledge it themselves. The more I open up to love the more I can see, and the more I feel everyone else as a part of the same love I am.
The enormous love and total inspiration that Serge Benhayon and his family are offering to us all will go down in history as something unique. The generosity, the transparency, the deep care and the absolute dignity of being 100% met and respected is very rare in our society.
I’m finding that I am becoming more and more open with people. I used to be very shy and shut down, and for years now I have been opening to people in a way I never thought possible. I love having exchanges with people in shops and random people who I come across in my day. It makes the day so much more fulfilling than staying in my own little corner. What I am also loving is how my relationships with my friends are now opening to a new level of tenderness and love. I am surprising myself with the depth of openness I have. I no longer feel I need to push people away. I can let them in with my eyes and my heart. It is totally gorgeous.
“I can let them in with my eyes and my heart” I love how beautifully you expressed your experience Rebecca. I can totally relate to these shy and hold back moments where I didn’t feel enough to be open with people. I was constantly calibrating my expression, or trying to fit in…I became exhausted of this. Now these connections with people inspire me so much. I can feel me and discover again my gorgeous, tender and fresh expression, which is something that everyone really appreciates.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” This is so true and it has only been in recent years since meeting Serge Benhayon have I come to appreciate this. Having come to understand this my relationships have become so much more meaningful, deeper and inclusive. Consequently my whole life is now fuller in everyway.
I have heard it said many times that we can be surrounded by people every day and still feel lonely. This can only be possible if we cut ourselves off from any real connection with others based on not being who we are with them and also not seeing them for who they are. It is easy to play games and superficial roles in life which get us by but do they really nurture and nourish us?
I like what you are saying here Fiona that if we start expressing ourselves more in one relationship it affects all our other relationships also. That all relationships are of equal value and importance and that we can’t focus more on one than another in our lives for also if one relationship is not going well it affects all the other ones also.
The interconnectedness of life. There is not escape from it although I often do my best to shirk the responsibility of this fact. Yes, everything affects everything. For example, simply travelling from work to home does not mean I am free of everything that happened at work.
Being able to realise we are all family and there is relationships just waiting to happen everywhere we turn and that we are all family is something the world has to wake up to and break out of all the individualised mess we still focus on. Even within relationships we can be so focused on the image of what it should be that we are missing out on the beauty it already is.
“.. .appreciate and value each other” is fundamental in relationships.
“Since expressing my love for this man it has allowed me to express my love for others more freely” This is a great example how everything is equal. When we choose to not hold back in one area, this immediately has effect on all areas in our life. Beautiful and inspiring sharing Fiona.
The comment about opening up to everyone and never being lonely is true in my experience. With that openness it is like a pull towards people and them towards us. And the deep appreciation that openness brings, even for a moment of true connection, can reverberate inside and feel great all day.
True relationships and the beauty of this brings a joy to our lives and something we can all have and live as we learn what this truly means . The reflection and inspiration of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is simply amazing, transforming lives and allowing us to live who we truly are without the impositions and beliefs we have taken on and the protection we so often live in. Simplicity, feeling and expressing this honestly is a real way for all our relationships and very inspiring and beautiful. Thank you Fiona for your lovely sharing.
I have recently been discovering the power of movement. When I move my body in a way that builds and supports a loving connection with myself and my own body, this allows me to be more open and aware of the love in others and so I am less judgmental, less reactionary to the imperfections of life. There are beautiful connections to be had everywhere with people if I am open to seeing the love and light in someone first and foremost and their behaviours or choices to live that love or not second. When I do this with others the beautiful thing is that this further builds an even stronger connection and sense of who I am and the love inside me. It is very clear to me that we are designed to be in connection with each other.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other . . . ” That would be a great thing to do Fiona as this would give us a possibility to be in connection without judgement – how wonderful is that.
“You are never alone – there is always someone there, we just need to be open to everyone and treat each and every one of us with the absolute care and respect that we all deserve.”- so beautifully said Fiona.
It just made me think about the homeless or beggars on the street or asylum seekers.
I find I often go into sympathy – feeling sorry for the situations people are in. But in truth this keeps us small and doesn’t allow the other to take responsibility for their past actions which has led them to their predicament they are in.
Learning to keep my heart open and not judge others is something I am still working on.
This is the gold in relationships. Being open and loving with everyone. It has just make me realise that we often ‘think’ that people are connecting with us for a service at work or when we are out and about running our chores but what if there was more that we were offering that we haven’t even registered?
Fiona it is quite something to observe the Benhayon family and to understand what love is, and is not. I certainly had to re-write my entire understanding, tossing out many beliefs and ideals about it that were actually so far from love it was no wonder my relationships hadn’t worked in the longer term until then. One of the most beautiful things about love that I learnt from Serge Benhayon is that is cannot be directed towards one person only. If you have love, it is felt by everyone equally, what differs is how much or little time you spend with another and in what way you choose to express the love you are. That makes perfect sense to me now and explained why we are so lost when it comes to romantic love in society today.
And also this: ““The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” This is so true as when we are in the space of truly being with ourselves in connection and appreciation, it cannot but expand and touch all and everyone we come into contact with. This allows for deepening relationships with all, and love grows. Just beautiful.
I love this expression Fiona- “… a movement of love”. So well put and something we can all connect to and start bringing into every move we make.
What you share about the respect that we can have for each other is super important. When we stop and look at the world it clearly shows us there is an absolute lovelessness towards each other, to the extreme of abuse on all levels, even from the supposed harmless text or tweet. We as a society have lost sight of the true harmony and love that is possible to live and we have dropped the bar so low that even having respect (which is a step further away from love) is few and far between. Serge Benhayon and the Benhayon family effortlessly and consistently show us how it is to be the Love that we are and with absolutely Everyone that they meet – and it is most definitely possible. I have huge appreciation for this absolute truthful reflection and treasure it.
Loved to re-read this blog Fiona and in how when we are naturally loving with ourselves, things naturally constellate as we find ourselves in the flow of life as opposed to swimming against the tide of life when we make life all about ‘ self’, where we indulge in our chosen comforts as opposed to healing our hurts and issues, which I can say is exhausting and a constant battle. Be love…. and the magic happens.
This blog also highlights that we are constantly in relationship… with people, animals, nature – there is a relationship with every person we meet, and whatever it is we are doing – for what we do affects all those around us too.
And furthermore, to love someone is to allow them to feel who THEY ARE, which means to feel their own love, in full. That is beautiful… and allows love in relationship to be so much grander than the version we currently subscribe to.
What is so lovely about your blog Fiona is the relationship you bring to family – that it is not just the individuals direct family, but in fact everyone we meet – humanity is one big family.
“a true relationship is developing all relationships.” And the most important one is the one with yourself. If I am feeling glum or down about myself, I project that onto others, in that I imagine they feel that way about me too. This is so imposing – it gives another no choice and it is self-sabotage as it is never true. When I am loving with me, I am loving in all my interactions.
Embracing everyone with the same love, respect and understanding is something we are all born with. As a child, I felt this but saw something very different in adults. I thought everyone thought like me. Now I have come to appreciate my innate ability to treat everyone in equality and understand my responsibility to inspire this innate knowing in everyone too, so they can trust all they interact with.
Hi Fiona – it’s gorgeous to feel your joy at finding true relationship – as you say ‘for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times’.
Comparison is an interesting one within relationships and clouds the ability to celebrate another. It is worth being aware of how it can sneak into a relationship when you least expect it, because through that awareness comes a great freedom to love in a much deeper way.
‘So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves,…’- beautifully said Fiona. True appreciation.
a true relationship can only come from a solid commitment to continuously deepen, to keep deepening the intimacy and love between the two people and working on the relationship constantly. And this might not be what some people want — for some, a relationship that alleviates the loneliness is what they seek and they’re not ready to let themselves be truly naked and let themselves be seen in the hurts they’ve also taken on. It’s too confronting because it brings up the hurts we have buried.
But it’s also the most worthwhile and amazing commitment one can make. To make our relationships about love is the best thing ever and no hurt is ever bigger than what a loving relationship can bring. Through relationships based on love we keep getting grander and grander for we are not designed to relate with each other from a superficial boundary while we engage checked out on the sofa having polite conversation. We are designed to reflect back to each other the enormous grandness that we are, the joy, the stupendousness and the infinite wisdom we have within. All this is before us, within us and activated when we commit to making our relationships about love.
I am blessed to be with a beautiful wife, who is also my best friend and constantly together our love is deepening. We challenge each other when we get set in our ways, pull each other up when we are feeling down and most importantly always bring it back to our connection first. Massive thanks to Serge Benhayon for showing us how we can truly be in a relationship with each other, without all of the usual fighting and bickering that is so common.
Appreciation is a way to live always seeing the beauty and love in others and not what they have chosen not to live. For me this has been the biggest turn around and still is a daily learning to not identify people by their choices but see them for who they truly are.
When we love someone, what is believed in our current way of life is we would want to then be with this person such as in a relationship or a marriage. But in loving someone, we only have to express our love with no investment. This does not stop only in close partnerships, but it is true for any relationship. In deeply loving ourselves, this love would be expressed the same to everyone and in any situation with respect.
Connection and relationship feel natural and the living of this relationship with the world is one which requires delicateness and respect. Knowing something and reflecting it unreservedly without being arrogant or needing others to follow suit requires a deep steadiness already built with oneself and deepening in every single such process. Relationship is a very beautiful process.
It is natural to be the same with everyone equally so, as love does not distinguish. It is sometimes harder to allow this transparency because the definition of what love is in the world is not one unified, and yet it is precisely then that equality has to be openly lived to the best of our ability through the movement that is simply natural.
Tenderly appreciating ourselves allows us to appreciate others in a way that lets them just be themselves.
Thank you Fiona for the beautiful and heartfelt words.
“.. instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members.”
Being able to appreciate the essence of someone before what they do, their behaviour, is a powerful thing.
Experiencing love transforms our life. Knowing what love is and that it is always available again transforms our life. Living the love that we are is a third transformation. All are for a more joyful, fulfilling and harmonious life.
‘It was more than words – it was a movement of love.’ This is really gorgeous to feel. Love isn’t anything physical but this movement is love in expression. It’s such a wonderful observation you’ve brought to my attention. That I can feel it means I too can live it and know what is true movement and what movements are not true and harmonious.
Appreciation does seem to be the key to life fulfilled. I recognised the ease with which we can look enviously at the life another has, but our own life is always there to be improved, more fulsome, more loving, if we so choose to develop relationships with self and others that grow that love. Simple really, love your writing Fiona.
Great blog, wonderful insights – and well deserved thanks to Serge Benhayon and his family for being such extraordinary role models.
Relationship can only be loving with others when we have a loving one with ourselves.
What a really beautiful inspiring blog Fiona, simply amazing to read and feel . I love your knowing of love and relationships and appreciation for others unconditionally. The true value of expression ,relationships and livingness is felt deeply in all you are sharing that allows one to really connect and feel one’s own love inside magnified and confirmed beautifully.
Serge Benhayon and his family have been a great inspiration for me too. I pay great attention on a day to day basis with how I interact with people and it makes a huge difference as a result of it on how my life is going to be.
What a great reminder is that we are responsible for the Love in our lives, the way we connect and react with each other is what will determine what will come back to us. To realise that every single word, action and thought has an impact on not only ourselves but those around us is exactly what is needed to remind us, as it can very conveniently be forgotten. When we make it about Love first and foremost then each connection we have will be true. Learning to appreciate and value these relationships is one that I can so easily dismiss and take for granted. Truly appreciating each other and ourselves is a key step for truly deeply loving each other.
When we allow ourselves to feel the love inside of us, others feel it as you have said, Fiona. When we are love, relationships develop not out of need or want but from a mutual joining.
‘ The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ Beautifully expressed Fiona, true relationship begins with ourselves first and then deepening our love and connection with others becomes a very simple and natural expression.
So true Fiona – “I never knew what a true relationship was until I met Serge Benhayon and saw how he was with his family and everyone he came in contact with. ” I can say exactly the same as many others can too, I am sure. It is beautiful to behold and to feel the love and equality expressed all of the time by the Benhayon Family, an awesome inspiration indeed.
Serge Benhayon presents to us in the way he lives that we are all family equally – no-one gets more love than another and blood relationships do not get preferential love over another. This is huge for many of us as we can be quite possessive about our own families and always give them priority over others. Loving relationships are about being equally open to everyone.
For as long as I can remember I wanted a perfect partner, friends, family. Other people’s family’s, partnerships, friendships were all much better than my own and indeed many probably were only because I was putting up barriers – people had to be a certain way, have certain viewpoints and I certainly had to be perfect.
It must have been very difficult having a relationships with me because I never let people in, still a work in progress. I wasn’t seeing beauty in myself or those around me. Now I’m allowing myself to really appreciate how amazing the people around me are. I’m seeing how I didn’t connect and how I still choose to miss an opportunity to connect by holding back. Learning that hiding, as a means of protection from being hurt by another (which is something we set up by having expectations of another and not understanding), doesn’t stop one from feeling the pain of choosing to disconnect which is way more painful.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” It is interesting to observe that the more we value and appreciate ourselves the more we can express love out to others without the need for it to come back.
‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ absolutely Fiona. The more I’ve made love about me and who I am, not what society tells us love is about, ie it’s outside of us and therefore something for us to go out and get, I’ve gotten to know myself, love, respect and honour me, the more the relationships around me have blossomed. All from the inspiration of the Benhayon family sharing the love there are with each other and everyone they come in contact with.
As I know Serge Benhayon now for 6 years, I start to get more that being loving in a relationship with everybody requires a movement. At the moment I am exploring this and enjoy the learning with it. I only can say when I am in this movement of love, I cannot be other than tender or loving with everybody around me as it kicks out expectations nor does it need something.
Yes, true family – is the movement of love with love. Love being the only assigning factor, not the surname, bloodline, previous connection, marriage, friendship, partnership or sibling/familial status. Of course true family can be within such set ups too, though they are neither the default nor guarantee, assumption or entitlement of it. Love is the only fertiliser – of one’s own and for all else.
Very true Fiona about what you said to the lady at bus stop about ‘being alone’ — over the years this is the exact thing I have experienced as the key thing towards deepening my own joy and fullness in life, …. which is learning to be alone but without feeling the loneliness. Fleetingly the other week i experienced a minute’s moment of ‘loneliness’. I noted that this was (only) because i’d lost connection to myself…and the moment I connected back, the loneliness evaporated. Loneliness is about or to do with connection. Connection closes the gap of empty space, .. and hence makes geographical distance never an issue. We can feel as close with a person in their physicality/being right here, the same as if they are based overseas – when there is full connection.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” I love reading this it has so much depth and truth and it is limitless in its expansion. Just with one gentle appreciation at a time by sharing loving expression that honours us all equally, and the potential of true relationship starts to reveal itself.
When we share this deep love equally so to all, then no-one misses out. However, when we share our love for only a select few then everyone misses out because the love we choose to with-hold from one is automatically withheld from all others.
True family is available to all of us at all times. lt is our choice to open up to it and initiate it as Serge has reflected for us consistently for so many years now.
This is a beautiful blog Fiona. I love how you have built a loving realtionship with a man on the other side of the world, and not let the ‘distance thing’ get in the way. This is inspiring, as we can come up with any number of excuses about why a relationship won’t work, but I too am learning that as long as we are open to everyone there is no such thing as a relationship not working if there is something there to build on, regardless of distance or anything else. There is a potential for something with every single person we meet with even if it is simply to inspire another.
True relationships are taking humanity to a new level of connection or re-connection. True relationships bring a level of integrity, responsibility, truth, humbleness and intimacy, which are all to do with our re-connection, and a new experience for most, me included. Maybe there are a few other words that need to be used like love, joy and harmony in bringing the true meaning of relationships.
How can we be so far removed from one word that it takes a plethora of words to bring the true meaning? Could it be that the bastardisation of words has become so entrenched in modern society that each word we use has to be re-evaluated for its energetic affect on us? If this is true and my feeling is that it is, then thank God for Serge Benhayon and his presentations on energetic truth in words.
Developing a true relationship with someone can seem like hard work at first. Stuff comes up – a lot of stuff. This is not because our intent is not to develop a relationship of love, but rather by virtue of being willing to open up to such a possibility, we need to look at that which is not so loving. And this can be awkward, at times intense, but always worthwhile, for it is the only way to unravel the illusionary picture we all hold in our minds of what we expect true love to look like.
Wow I love how you have said this Adam.
What you say here Adam is so true.
lt is the only way to unravel the expectations and face the truth of the relationship.
Love how you describe your observation of Serge Benhayon Fiona, he certainly is a movement of Love – ‘What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.’
It’s funny that we are always seeking for love outside of ourselves- I was when I was growing up and in my adult years.
It was not until I met Serge Benhayon and his family that I observed what love truly meant in relationships, and how the love we are constantly searching for is within us all, in our inner heart.
Accepting and appreciating ourselves and others for who we / they are is a beautiful foundation for true relationships.
A true relationship can be had by complete so called strangers that you see/meet, ever for a split second as I recently experienced in a shop with the sales assistant. That one true moment where I turned and connected with her so deeply and with my whole body, I haven’t even experienced with members of my family, so funny how we can claim that we are more connected to our families and convince ourselves that we are close, when in fact we have just settled for a comfortable relationship, which after feeling what I felt with that person, is not so comfortable at all.
“There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving.” What a beautiful way for a family to be living together. How beautiful it would be to be living with that family, to know that you are being held in that great love. But it is truly available to us all, the Benhayon family are great role models for us all to emulate if we wish to become able to live in such a loving way. It is up to us and our choice as to whether we begin to live this way or not to do so.
“I’ve always felt a connection to him but because of the logistics, I held back from expressing my feelings or developing the relationship further.”. A Beautiful testimony that Love isn’t only for ‘that special one’, but in fact for all equally. We’ve been sold and have accepted a big lie that Love is for one person or a selected few, but the Truth is, we can only Love our ‘special ones’ as much as we love all others. We might think that there’s a difference, but in Truth there isn’t. And isn’t it lovely to allow ourselves to just Love and see the Love in everyone.
Life is very ironic – we ARE love, yet we spend our life looking outside and even when we know we are love, we still catch ourselves constantly looking outside.
The healing I continue to receive from the Benhayon family along with the reminder that we all deserve and ought to settle for nothing less than love is second to none in my life. I continue to learn more and more, to remember more and more the love I’ve always known but that I walked away from many lifetimes ago not believing I was worthy of it. Returning back to this love with the unwavering reflection from the Benhayon family leading the way to a deeper and deeper love to be had is the greatest gift, the greatest treasure I could ever wish for.
This is such a beautiful sharing Fiona, and what you share at the end about appreciating each other instead of expecting perfection is huge — such a simple yet powerful message. And of course, this is how we ought to be with ourselves, in appreciation and tenderness, as exemplified by the Benhayon family, and not thrashing ourselves with a whip for not sizing up to a perfect ideal. That shift has to happen with us first and then it naturally becomes the way we are with others — the very fact that we keep people at bay, judging, critiquing, sizing them up and comparing is a reflection back to us that we treat ourselves just like that. While at the same time deep down all we truly seek is love.
Thank you, Fiona, for sharing how your expressing love to one other person started a ripple effect on all your other relationships. This is a cascade that we use so much energy holding back. And whilst the first leap might feel scary it is simply our natural way.
Loving any another (all others) and appreciating who they are is a joy-full experience however, what is more lovely is feeling all you when you express love equally so. You love because of your love …
You take relationships to another level when you can appreciate another stranger or family member for who they truly are and understand behaviours that don’t belong to our essence as just that behaviours.
To drop expectations of another, indeed allows them to be and allows me to drop the disappointment when they do not behave in the way my picture would have them do. It also allows me to drop the high expectations and rules that I impose on myself. Crazy pressure really and no one gets to truly be themselves.
‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ So true Fiona. I love the way appreciation opens up the possibilities for more and more love.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members.” That makes so much sense to me, Fiona. If we are seeking perfection in another, then we are using expectations of how they should be, which is using judgment against that person, not a way to strengthen a relationship with one another. Learning to appreciate all the true qualities in others and in oneself is the way to go, this is so supportive when we express appreciation of each other, it is the loving way to build a true relationship.
I have learnt more about love from watching the Benhayon family than anything or anyone in my whole life. Anything I was ever led to believe by any book I read, church I attended, film I watched, or ideal that I followed has been blown out of the water.
A true relationship can be had with almost everyone – you meet, truly meet, even if only for a split second and you experience love.
Fiona I have revisited this blog as I love it so much, and today the pearl of wisdom that resonated most strongly is ‘how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other’. It is so easy to focus on how others or we ourselves fall short when all that is required is to nurture the strengths so that they grow in strength and eventually the bits that are not true will either fade away through lack of attention or be let go of because they feel so jarring. The loving support of friends (including family) is the greatest medicine I know; Serge Benhayon started the ball rolling by reflecting to us the greatness we are beyond all behaviours we may have gathered along the way.
It was something I always craved but didn’t want to impose on another for fear of being rejected….true relationship. I went most of my life tip toeing around not understanding relationship had to start with loving, knowing, trusting and accepting me and from there build the intimacy which would naturally open my heart up to true relationships, it was literally under my nose. If we knew the truth that we are all equal in the unique qualities we are and bring, knowing our essence, opening up to sharing ourselves naturally and fully without any holding back, life literally transforms with a richness that can be felt by all
“So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.” This line stood out to me when I read this blog-“loving people the way that allows them to be themselves and seeing them for who they truly are and not their behaviours.”
My experience has been no matter how deeply I nurture, love, care for and respect people if they don’t choose love for themselves and consistently choose to allow an abusive energy to run them and lash out, then all I can do is continue to be love which means for some they can’t be in my life because they choose to express abuse then that is their choice and I understand we all have free will to choose the energy that runs us. This supports me to be the love that I am and if and when they choose to re-connect my unwavering love they can.
I adore your expression – “A movement of love” and it perfectly describes Serge Benhayon’s total way of being.
What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love. You can’t help but feel from your words here Fiona, that love is a movement. These words feel so very gorgeous in my body and confirm that it is exactly that when we are in full connection with ourselves and moving in alignment with its fiery impulse. When we have chosen wisely and are moving in our own loving quality, it is a movement like no other.
A true relationship as you have so beautifully described Fiona is something we can have with every one in our lives. I love the ladies in my local supermarket, my postman as much as my friends and relatives. It very enriching in life to be in this connection with all and there is much to see in each and every person if we dare to look with the eyes of our heart.
Fiona, I love this blog, there is much wisdom written, this is gorgeous to read, ‘So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us’ Wow what a way to be with each other rather than the all too familiar judgement and criticism, thank you for showing there is another way.
Observing Serge Benhayon and his family move and express make my heart melt, and reflects to me that we are all so much more than we perceive ourselves to be, and I agree Fiona, it is a big wow that we have this reflection of what a true relationship is and one that is deeply appreciated, because without it where would we be?!
Thank you for sharing Fiona, I can mirror so much of what you have expressed about Serge Benhayon and family. I felt immediately the love from Serge, initially not really knowing how to process it and can now feel that is has only been through the process of me discarding all the ‘what is not’ around myself, being able to let love in, that I have been able to receive the love that is and has always been on offer, Serge isn’t the one who changed, it was me. Equally, feeling this from his family, my family and others in my life.
Thank you Fiona, it is pretty confronting but amazing to see we can’t have one ‘special’ relationship, one we treasure above others, one that’s true and warm, and one that’s limited and worn. Every conversation and interaction we have is a conversation with us all. So bringing Love to each person we meet is the only way to grow learn and evolve, for then we understand we are all Sons of God with no difference underneath. The suit, the spikes, the leather coat, none of this matters at all, it is just up to us – are we willing to go deep?
A beautiful article to read I totally agree I have known the Benhayon family for 13 years and have observed the children grow and develop into amazing adults. Serge Benhayon and his family are consistently so respectful and loving towards each other and equally so with others the love the family expresses is no different to the love they express with humanity, they offer us true relationships. The integrity they all live is expressed and emanated in all that they do and say.
The more we express love the more love we magnetically can pull to our bodies and the more love others can then feel in us. Simply true love pulls in by magnetic attraction more love!
It’s a beautiful chain reaction which is started from one true relationship shining light on the opportunities all around us for the same quality to be in each and every relationship we are in. From the one in our heart with ourselves to everyone else, nature and our place in the universe.
I love the way you describe family as being everyone around you in your life. There is no need for anyone to be excluded. True family is inclusive of all.
Thank you Fiona, it is indeed the best to see what we got and to make sure we put all in our own lives, and not in ideals or believes and the desperation of own made choices that we do not feel proud off. By the teachings of Serge Benhayon I am now given tools how to feel what I am choosing and to learn from there. To make my own choices and make sure I see and feel and appreciate everything around me.
Building a true relationship is not just a matter of constructing, but also of discarding that which does not truly serve to expand.
A relationship that allows the parties involved to develop, discover, growth, where those involved help each other is a true one.
This is a new and inspiring outlook for me which of course makes sense but is not something I have put into practice much. The Benhayon family are amazingly inspiring – demonstrating that love is developmental and expanding not comfy, insular or protective. Love takes us out into the world rather than holds us in our cosy private lives.
A true relationship is one where we do not need the other one to be anything. Therefore, the other has the space to simply just be and flourish from there.
An image of love is something static. Love is a movement. It is truly distinctive when we observe it, or when we are part of it.
We all have relationships. We all have a variety of relationships. Their quality varies. Some are what we call good, others are not. Yet, our judgment in often based on an image. And the image may be not a true one.
We so often put restrictions and demands on what the relationship with others should look like and hold ourselves back until these are met. We may hold something against those who are close to us or we assume they are to busy, not interested etc. In all these assumptions we overlook the fact that we are all looking for love and that when we take the first step in connecting, the repsons is often much more positive then we could have expected from our place of holding back.
We are indeed never alone. Loneliness starts when we disconnect from those around us, either from direct hurt or from protection. In this disconnection we miss ourselves and lose the natural ability to truly connect to others. The realization is that we are the ones that keep this out and choose the loneliness for in true connection this can no longer be.
Love is the movement of the divine light we are from. it is a quality that is chosen by us by sheer choice. We can either move in sink with the universe and the love we are from, therefor expressing this love in every movement or we can move against the rhythm of the universe therefor expressing the separation that is caused by this movement.
In the search for love we have forgotten that we are love ourselves and that we can acces this at all times within ourselves. It is this that we then share with others building a family around us that is build on the quality we offer.
‘What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.’ – Fiona, this blog is beautiful and what you have shared here is the essence of what I and so many others have had the absolute joy to experience with Serge Benhayon – his consistent movement of love, always equally expressed towards everyone he meets.
“I remember sitting with an elderly lady at a bus stop one day and she was telling me she felt lonely.” I love your reply to this lady, Fiona, you are absolutely right, we are never really alone. As you shared with her, it was up to her to be open with caring with everyone she met, and I would add how important it is to truly and deeply connect with herself and build a relationship with herself. From that she would take that loving care of herself out to everyone else that she met each day. I have found if I am connected with myself, then there is no room for any feelings of loneliness in me. It is so sad that so many elderly people are living such lonely lives, and a shame that some of them are not more open to living in in a suitable retirement village. I know that is something that does not appeal to many who want to be independently living, as I have seen in elderly couples I know, but it can be a great answer to a couple when one partner passes over and the other is left alone in a big home with no company. I have seen one person close to me who actually blossomed enormously when she very reluctantly was forced to move to accommodation where she was more supported. This person who had previously been a very lonely person made a number of great friends and became far more outgoing than she had been ever before in her life. Yes, she may have lost some of her independence, but had gained so much more quality in her life.
True relationships can change the world as true relationships are about respect, love, equality and allowing ourselves to be who we are.
Relationships with people is an every day event as we meet people in a day, whether it is the shopkeeper, our children, colleagues…people are an integral part of our lives. We can miss so much when we don’t connect, as we ALL have so much to offer in just being ourselves. Connection and true relationship allows for this. My life is so much more meaningful and joyful as I let people in and not protect myself from them…actually I have lived in so much protection, but now there is so much less and naturally I am flowering in my relationships which have changed because of that.
Yes I feel many of us yearn true relationships but often we may not be aware of exactly what we are yearning for, so we find ways to connect with another but it may not be true. When its true, there is a connection and acceptance of each other and a love. As you share this is not for a secluded few, but anyone we meet in our openess, and this is very real, just like the older lady at the bus stop.
Fiona I really enjoyed reading this article, you wrote it in relationship with your readers. I felt connected, respected and cared for. It felt light hearted and gentle.
‘What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.’ This sums Up Serge and his way of relating perfectly. He has been an amazing reflection and inspiration for me as through this I have come back to knowing who I truly am.
Its curious to consider that we say we love our family and that we are closer with them than others, but actually family relationships are often the most difficult and can be the most disharmonious. It is easier for us to have superficial relationships than to have open honest intimate ones with people who know us very well. Again I know this comes back to the quality of the relationship we have with ourselves.
How I am with myself has a direct effect on how I am with others. I have become more aware of this over recent years and so when I am grumpy or dismissive of another, now instead of blaming them, I can usually trace it back to not looking after myself in some way. This could be as simple as eating the wrong food, not getting enough sleep, or even not expressing and holding back on something that needed saying.
I grew up with many family members who I called uncle, auntie or cousin who were not in fact blood relatives. So I learnt early on that family is not limited to blood, however you expand on this Fiona by sharing that in this world we can extend the same love, care and openness we reserve for family to anyone.
When all is said and done, the most important things in our lives are our relationships. Its not about my to-do list or how much money I earn, or the size of my house etc.
Fiona as you say “for me a true relationship is developing all relationships.” there is no exclusive relationship. There is simply the power of truly seeing everyone for who they are and appreciating all they can potentially bring. I am sure we would literally be falling in love every day as we meet people.
A true relationship for me is to see the potential in the other based on the deep knowing of our equalness and that we have given different skills to build together a bigger picture and lighten up the truth from any angle so everybody can see it.
It’s funny how we can dismiss not being able to communicate well with certain people with, it’s their issue, or, I will try next time I see them, then only to let it slide and never address it. As you say Fiona, any area within a relationship that we avoid or is not open and loving, this affects all relationships.
I have come to realise that for most of my life I had no idea of what a real relationship was. I definitely only regarded it as being to do with the relationship with my husband or partner. But the past 9 years or so, through listening to presentations by Serge Benhayon and observing the interactions and relationships between the various Benhayon family members, I have learned so much about what a true relationship is. What great role models they are for all of us, in the consistently loving way they are with each other. And they are the same with anyone else they are in contact with, all are equally related to in the same so deeply loving way. How wonderful it will be when all of us on earth are willing to be in relationship with one another in this way. This would be true brotherhood.
A beautiful blog, Fiona, on a very important subject. So far on earth not many of us are living truly loving relationships. I love the description you have used for a true relationship, “So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.” Yes, developing true relationships means we are in relationship with all equally, not being more loving with some than with others. If we love people for who they are, rather than how they may be behaving at times, and not trying to change them, then it is possible to love anyone as we can feel their essence and the beautiful being that they truly are. For me, the Benhayon family are amazing role models for how we can be in a loving relationship with others, they are so consistent with one another in the loving relationships they have and they treat everyone they interact with in the same loving way.
Yes I agree there is a lot that Serge Benhayon has been a reflecting for especially in the field of how he loves everyone equally in his relationships from first meetings, to family members. The key which you presented for me in your story was when you said “The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” . This has been very good medicine for me of late. Thank you Fiona for sharing and inspiring to express more with oneself and the flow with others.
It was interesting to read Fiona that when you expressed your feelings for one man, you could express more easily to others also….perfect for me to read today because I have some difficulty expressing to a family member, and I can feel that as long as I have tension or resistance to expressing in full with this family member, this will also affect my expression with everyone else.
Hi jacqmcfadden04 yes that is true and often I sometimes find myself wanting to say something to express how I feel but it’s coming from a justification of me being right or wanting to be seen to be right in some way or to be heard and what I really need to do is let go of controlling the other person to be something that I need them to be. The moment I see this – the tension I feel within myself goes and the true relationship between me and the other person can just be what it is.
It’s so easy to feel isolated and lonely in this world. It’s so easy to shut the doors and curtains and believe ourselves to be alone or without family. But as you have shown Fiona this does not have to be the case. Even if we have no close family the people around us are still our equal brothers on this earth, and we can open and connect with them just as deeply as we would blood family. We just need to drop the barriers and the protection and open ourselves to the love that is available when we truly meet people, with our eyes and our hearts and our souls.
‘So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships’ ~ love this Fiona. That’s what we’re here for, to be in relationship with everyone. Exclusivity is separation and separation has never worked…
I have recently experienced this too Fiona. In expressing love for someone I hold very dear and then feeling how much more open I am to others is truly beautiful and is something that can only keep expanding from here.
You highlight an important point Fiona that meeting another equally and letting them in fully is a movement of love. Each moment we have the opportunity to truly meet another without judgement or protection, it is a choice to connect in essence or not.
It is indeed such a powerful reflection that Serge and his family offer in terms of true relationship. There is such a consistency and equalness in the way they meet and interact with anyone no matter what the context. It has shown me how I measure how much of myself I will meet another in depending on my level of safety or trust rather than risking all to share all of me.
It is the same for me Jenny, I still hold back so much which is such an ingrained habit. I have become so much more aware of it, and am working on being more open and sharing more of me.
Love and relationships are not exclusive. We can choose how we express within them, but the same quality of love and intimacy can be expressed. And all because we ourselves are open, and don’t hold that back.
Expressing love for someone allows it to be more easily expressed with others. This is a clear, simple and powerful message I will take away from this blog. I had a situation recently of just being open and loving to people in a group, there together for training for a weekend. Some I knew and others total strangers but I made a point of not differentiating and noticed others were not as well. How the group came together and how all opened up to each other was quite amazing. I noticed how it was easy for everyone to choose to be this way, yet you would normally see it the other way around, that it was easy to be guarded and stand offish.
Beautiful blog Fiona, relationships are super important in every day of our lives, and I am coming to feel deeper that it isn’t just with a special few but with everyone we meet knowing that they are exactly the same as we are in essence.
Beautifully expressed Fiona, your blog highlights the importance of expressing our love to each other, for when we hold this back we are stopping our relationships to deepen and evolve with everyone. The more we learn to express our love the more we feel the potential for true relationships in all areas of our lives.
There is no room for comparison when we appreciate the qualities of others and the uniqueness of what we bring to the world. Our spark, our flare, our flavour all vary and comparison squashes the otherwise awe we could be holding each other in.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” – we are used to doing the opposite and see the flaws first, hold the other responsible for their imperfections, but basically that means we need them to be a certain way to meet our needs and expectations, to not trigger but comfort our hurts. That is why we create pictures of how we expect the world to be instead of being open to who everyone is free from what we tend to impose on them otherwise. Before we don´t start taking responsibility for ourselves we cannot set free another hence no true love or family are possible.
I love what you have written here Alex, it’s so true – our own responsibility in each and every relationship is huge and how we are in that relationship. Can we truly let someone be themselve or do we need them to be a certain way?
Letting someone be themselves while truly holding who we are is so freeing and empowering for all, as well as extremely healing.
It doesn´t matter in which area of our life we start to express more of who we are, our truth, it will sooner than later also find its way into all other areas; the more we express the more we unfold the more development we initiate for ourselves and others – through expression we get to experience who we are and what we are capable of.
Lovely article Fiona. Your reply to the lady at the bus stop was a beautiful reminder to reconnect to that beautiful presence within, and then you can see and feel this quality in anyone… so you are never alone
Fiona, I felt the love in your blog and find it to be quite inspirational and confirming at the same time, confirming in that it is ‘Love’ that first looks out and sees itself in reflection. I once read a beautiful poem on “Love” that was written in perhaps the 1800’s- your blog reminded me of this poem. It seems to me that if we are innately love in truth, then it would be only natural that we give ourselves permission to reflect this out to all we meet, in whatever relationship that may be.
To understand love as a movement brings a level of responsibility in how we live and express in all that we do. Every movement is either in a way that is with love or not and the way we move builds the quality of our relationships.
Thank you Fiona for this beautiful blog. I too didn’t know the true meaning of relationship and love until I attending Universal Medicine presentations and workshops. When we have true understanding of love, it is so simple, expansive and evolutionary. Like many things, there are a lot of false versions steering us further away from truth.
Just today in the UniMed UK Retreat we discussed what true family looks like and how we can develop it in our lives. What we came to understand is that we cannot treat one person as family but not another one, it would be exclusive and thus reduce the love and care we think we give to one but not everyone equally; actually it cannot be true love as love is either absolute or it is not love but just a reduced version we interpret as love. That challenges of course our picture of family only being blood-relationship or our closest partners and friends, a concept that allows for excluding everyone that doesn´t belong to this family and share a different or lesser form of love with them.
Relationship – it is indeed a movement of love that can be seen and felt, palpable and is immediately clocked by the body that resonates naturally with the quality. Even when one should not consciously identify it for what it is nevertheless it is recognised as we come from and are made to be in relationship.
Every time I felt lonely I had shut out the connection with myself, my soul, with God and with all of us living on this planet.
Expressing the love you feel inside gives love permission to flow and grow. Love is not something we can keep for ourselves it is there to be lived, shared and experienced.
I’ve been learning and appreciating that when we treat wider society with care and love, that we are then more loving with our own direct family and friends. This whole philosophy is a win win as we provide more care and support for everyone and get a better understanding of what it is people need to feel; supported and loved.
For me true relationship is truly appreciating everyone equally, one is not more or less in any way than another. Meeting each other with our own uniqueness and being willing to be open to explore what is there to discover and unfold.
Being in a relationship since the beginning of the year allows me to experience how the man I am in relationship with stands for humanity. Now that I am in a relationship with him I am in relationship with everybody. And the more I allow myself to love myself, the more I can love him and all others. The process keeps deepening and deepening. Sometimes it feels like being in love with the whole world.
I love your expression: “It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” This is exactly how I experienced Serge, his love for his family and for each of us to be a movement of love that entailed more depth than the word love could ever express. It puzzled me in the beginning how he loves everybody equally and nobody is loved more than another, he has no favorite students. And I can feel the truth of what he lives: you cannot open your heart for one person without opening it for everyone.
And likewise Monika, you close your heart to just one person ( for whatever reason) you close your heart to everyone…..
I remember my first crush, after a couple of years I finally built the courage to ask him out. I felt so amazing afterwards even though he ended up sharing that he wasn’t interested in that kind of relationship with me. I was glowing so much that when I told my girlfriends they didn’t believe that he turned down my offer because of how good I felt. It’s true when you express love, you feel love.
Appreciation and valuing ourselves and each other is definitely where it’s at! Beautiful article Fiona – thank you 🙂
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” – Amen to that Fiona – striving for perfection ourselves or seeking it in another, can only bring disappointment and distance.
I love watching the Benhayon family – seeing the way they interact as a family not just with those they are blood related to. They have shown me that love is not restricted to blood lines and surnames, it is all to do with love.
Thank you Fiona, I too have been deeply inspired by the Benhayon’s in how they move, interact and with the love they share with each other. What is so beautifully true about this is their love is not exclusive to their own family they share this love equally so with everybody with no holding back. It is in sharing and opening up to Love the world changes.
Fiona, I love your call for us to appreciate and value each other instead of seeking perfection. This also applies to the relationship we have with ourself. We so often want to be perfect so we put ourselves under huge amounts of pressure. But what if we were to appreciate and value ourselves for the qualties we have and what we bring to the world. How loving would that be!? So very different from the strive for perfection which does not allow for any love.
” It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves,” I love this line as it erases any neediness, expectation and then disappointment, just allowing and accepting.
I love this line too. It’s a great reminder to let go of neediness and expectations. They complicate our relationships and potentially destroy them. The funny thing is we are the ones who set them up in the first place and therefore we can easily let them go.
Fiona, you describe beautifully what a difference it makes when we meet people – truly meet people. It may just be fleeting eye contact or us being ready for eye contact and the other choosing to look away that time or something much more involved. The key is when we are ready, it leaves an impression on the other and they will usually notice what their choice was at that moment.
OMG I know this, wanting to be a part of a group or family which hold each other in love and support each other in any way. And had to realize by wishing to be a part of ‘them’ by ignoring and trying to avoiding my responsibility to bring exactly what I wish into the group of people I am living with… The way to go with this is to get inspired to live in that way, to bring that into humanity as well – this is in fact to join ‘them’.
..in fact there is no ‘I’ and ‘them’ – we are all one. The call is to express love everywhere and with everyone.
Absolutely beautiful Fiona, instead of seeking perfection in one another we let each other be and value and appreciate all that a person is. There is something beautiful about having this relationship and being free of the need for perfection, it frees one up to see the ultimate knowing, and always be aware of the fact that life is about evolution.
I feel the love just oozing off the screen Fiona, you are a joy, and you write with joy and openness.
Its interesting how we can have pictures of what we want love to look like, that can get in the way of letting down our guards and experiencing the joy of what is often right in front of us.
I have also experienced how opening up with one person, expressing more of the love that is there, naturally ripples out into all of my relationships. This is a lovely process which is very gentle and supportive. By expressing with one person, we develop trust and confidence in our expression, which then feels so natural to share. By nature we love everyone equally so it can’t be measured out.
I loved what you shared about the equalness of love that the Benhayon’s share with everyone. This goes against everything that I, and most of us have been brought up to believe about love and family. Our family is supposed to receive extra attention, a special love that sets them aside from everyone else. And we expect them to love us unconditionally, to put up with certain behaviours just because family stick together. Having now seen the Benhayon family over many years, I can feel how harmful these beliefs are and how they affect our ability to actually love in any relationship. The ideas set us up to be exclusive with family and to rank who is worthy of our love. We also learn to accept compromise and levels of abuse, just because that is what we have to do with family.
I have definitely expanded my definition of family to include everyone, not just blood relatives since coming to Universal Medicine presentations. Family comes from a feeling of connection and building love between you, rather than through blood ties. It is also an experience of appreciation. You may not have close family, but there are always people around us, always there are opportunities to connect and confirm the love that is naturally there between us. Often those opportunities are right there under our nose, but our beliefs about who ‘should’ love us or how that should look make us blind.
I have also found watching the Benhayon family over many years has inspired me and broken down many ideas I had about family. Most of all it has changed my awareness of my part in my immediate family and how much the way I am can affect the quality of our connections. If I hold onto a hurt or judgment, it is like a barricade that does not allow the relationship to go any deeper. I have also found that even when another person doesn’t want (or appear to want) to go deeper, I can take it deeper, just in how open and willing I am prepared to be.
The more I love myself the more I can love others.
It is through an intimate relationship with one other person that we can learn to trust and truly love, however we come to know that for this love to grow and be evolving that it is not to be kept between two people, but to be shared with everyone equally.
The Benhayon family are a wonderful reflection to us all, that true relationships are not about ‘special relationships’, true relationships are equal in their offering for all.
Lovely blog, Fiona, expressing so clearly that when we truly love we love everyone equally. “So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships”.
Thank you Fiona and I agree it’s a wonder to see true family relationships in action when around Serge Benhayon or his family. When you say “how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” this is definitely a good starting point to develop a true relationship with yourself and others.
I love the line “It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” Movement of love brings love into the realms of the physical, tangible and real while at the same time delivering the energetic science of love – that when we make our movements loving, we magnify love in our body which makes our movements more loving which magnifies the love………. None of this intangible, emotional, romantic love that is so hard to define and which so many have experienced as so painful.
Hi Michelle
That is so very true – I’ve been finding that the more I accept and appreciate myself the more I accept and appreciate others – and the less I judge myself the less I judge others.
It is interesting when you wrote that after expressing your love for a dear friend of yours, you then found it easier to express love with others. I brings it home of all the lost moments when we hold back what we want to say to another, even expressing a feeling of appreciation speaks volumes.
“It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” This is such a powerful concept; that my movements are love, or not. It simplifies what love is and is a choice in every moment. This is the mirror that the Benhayon family holds for all to see and be inspired by.
“how about we appreciate and value each other” a wise set of words that if we all lived them would transform everything in this world, every relationship, workplace, family, school, airline and country would change.
Beautiful Fiona. A movement of love can only be felt when it is coming from a consistent way of being with one and all.
What I have learned from the Benhayon’s is that to have a truly loving relationship with others, such as you so beautifully describe Fiona, you must firstly have one with yourself.
Fiona what you’ve written is divine. We can have true relationships with everyone we meet, it’s not something confined to ‘the special people in ourlives ‘ because in thinking this we’ve already discounted and separated from the amazing relationship we can have with someone. As soon as we omit one person we’ve shut ourselves down to all others. Some may say no but that’s no reason to stop loving them and holding them in understanding.
It’s so important what you’ve shared Fiona about allowing someone to be themselves without off loading our ideals and beliefs about what a relationship should look like onto them. So many relationships are unfortunately based on expectations, which is sad because we miss out on being ourselves with our partner or friend, truly enjoying the relationship and also getting a sense of their qualities and flairs.
Hi Susie.
Expectation is huge isn’t it. I always find that as soon as I have an expectation of how someone will be it all goes horribly wrong and the expectation comes from me wanting to control the situation or person. As soon as I become aware of that and let go, it just instantly changes and then the other person can just be themselves and it’s not utterly exhausting for me trying to control everyone – which I can’t.
When we express love, love comes back to us. When we start expressing love for the first time or expressing much more love than before, then we may get a backlash from our previous, lesser, expressions but that backlash is finite and we can then get on with expressing the new amount of love. Wonderful.
Fiona your gorgeous blog gave me the pleasure of reflecting on my introduction to observing, for the first time, how true relationship really feels. My experience regarding meeting Serge was similar to yours but it took me a little while before I could take in and truly appreciate what I was seeing and feeling – let’s face it, the way Serge and his family live is positively extraordinary and I personally had not previously met anyone in my whole life who lived and breathed pure love. I also appreciate what a blessing this actually is.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities…” We certainly need a little bit more of this, Fiona. To see the beauty in everyone first and foremost. To nurture this beauty rather than focus on what is not beautiful about them. This is something I am working on all the time, as it can be easy to get caught up in all the outer ‘stuff’ and forget the beauty that lies beneath the surface in everyone – equally.
For me a true relationship is about being able and feeling safe to express everything. Mostly all my love as I have noticed I can still hold back in that department. But why? It feels so freeing to just let all that love flow and express it in full.
Hi Mary
That’s so true. A couple of years ago there was an elderly lady and myself waiting for an operation – we were both nervous and we were both ‘alone’. I got up and sat next to her as she was bed ridden and we talked and held each other’s hand. It was so supportive and healing for us both and I really felt who she was in that moment.
Moments like that are those to be cherished and they are there all the time.
I have felt that once you have developed one true relationship then the others in your life start to change naturally.
It is awesome that you felt how not expressing your love for one person was holding back your expression with everyone else. Serge Benhayon’s family is an amazing inspiration – and it has shown me how to love those in my life in just the same way.
This is so beautiful Fiona. Your words feel so inclusive of everyone. It is not just about one person but about how we treat and love each person that is in our lives, even so called strangers at bus stops! Love is not reserved for particular people. Love has no boundaries, and we can express it freely by being open with everyone we meet.
Having a true relationship comes first from ones inner power, and when established it is impossible to not see others in the same way. We have so much to offer one another, and relationships are never ending!
So lovely to read how much has transpired for you since expressing what you feel. It really is about letting people in and not isolating ourselves or hiding away in our own corner of the world.
How beautifully you clean up with the ideal of “the one Mr or Miss Right”, Fiona. A true relationship is a relationship to all – wow!
“There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving. It was the love I had always wanted from my own family and the love that everyone seeks.”
Why is it that we accept teasing, little snipes at each other and put downs and call it, nothing serious, just some simple fun, or say, they know I am only joking. When I have received this kind of remark, it never feels all that comfortable and I usually felt embarrassed because I couldn’t hold myself, or enjoined them in a laugh at my expense, to then feel it didn’t feel right.
Yes, Fiona, Serge Benhayon and his family have demonstrated over many years how to love everyone equally, how to never judge or place expectations on another, but to simply offer consistent opportunities through reflection, for the person to re-connect back to the love they also have inside.
Fiona, this is gorgeous, ‘To see people for who they are and to appreciate the qualities they bring to me and to everyone else – sometimes when they can’t see it themselves.’ I love this, it is so unusual and almost the ‘norm’ for us to NOT express this appreciation for others, probably because we do not appreciate ourselves . In my experience the more I appreciate myself the more I naturally appreciate others and it feels beautiful to express this to someone and very supportive for them to have their qualities confirmed.
Recognising the ‘true movement of love’ in another must mean that we know it in us too. It feels so natural and divinely beautiful to see it in another, and the reflection of the Benhayon family and the choices they are making in every moment, wherever they are and whatever they are doing is such a guiding light and inspiration for us all.
I loved what you shared and said to the lady at the bus stop, that was so gorgeous. It is moments like these that make the world a more loving and inclusive place. We have relationships every moment in every day because they are not just for specific people, partners or family but essentially everyone we ever meet or interact with even calling a company by phone. It is interesting what you have shared about the logistics of relationships, do we not express what we truly feel because people are the other side of the world or not live as near to us? You have been inspiring in not holding back your love regardless of where or who people are. Thank you ✨
A life based on building towards love is a life worth living for. The rest is just survival.
This is beautiful and I can relate to many parts of it, from wanting to be in Serge Benhayon’s family to recognising that I can choose the same quality of relationships and connection within my own family, friends and community. I too have found that we must share this love equally with everyone, we can’t hold some people out and then expect to be close to others, it doesn’t work like this, we have to let everyone in, be with them in full, drink them up, and let them see to the very depth of our eyes, being still, present and completely committed to a person in any engagement with them, even a stranger at a cash register, or someone we sit next to in a waiting room. Everyone.
Meeting Serge Benhayon was the first time I felt true love also and was the most beautiful moment in my life as has been ever since. Knowing true love for myself and for others is a very special way to live allowing us to make true choices for ourselves and with others and all our relationships also. Appreciation plays a key role in this as with understanding that we are all this love also.
“It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” “The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows”. Pearls of wisdom so beautifully expressed Fiona.
It’s amazing when we stop holding back how a world of possibilities becomes available. When we hold back and refuse for whatever reason to express, and we can stay stuck as the world moves on. Expressing truth dissolves walls and forms foundations. What a lovely way to build relationships with everyone.
Love is about alLowing and giving others the space to be themselves and as you say appreciating them for who they are and what they bring. It has no borders, no blood lines rather a sense of equality that we are all the same. From this knowingness and foundation we then see others, when they are not choosing love, as simply making a choice and at any moment they can choose love again.
Fiona this is the key: ” a true relationship is developing all relationships” – and hence there is not one relationship that is more or less important than another, and I must add that this includes our relationship with ourselves! What an amazing way that we can change the world when we bring a deep sense of love and care and respect to ourselves and us all.
I love this Fiona “Since expressing my love for this man it has allowed me to express my love for others more freely”, to claim love and to express it brings an ease for the next expression of it.
Relationships are such a fascinating topic, I was working in a group recently and I felt myself slouch and not being fully with it, I clocked this and realised the responsibility I had to the people I was working with. It is amazing when we take more ownership of how our demeanour affects others, I can feel in this how it impacts on every relationship I am in and means that it is always worth checking in and assessing if I am giving my all to every situation.
True Love is like wildfire it has a way of spreading across land and sea from just one touch. This is too how I have found the blossoming of my relationships since opening to the level and depth of love that is actually available to us all to live in our everyday.
Its interesting the elderly lady you met was feeling lonely, I have in the past felt lonely even in a crowded room and I now know I was shutting myself from a true relationship with myself. I didn’t know who I was and the essence I bring and had no appreciation of my qualities. So potentially that could have been me in years to come if I hadn’t been introduced to Serge Benhayon and family and felt love in their every movement.
Thank you, Fiona. I love this line “so for me a true relationship is developing all relationships”. I have always disliked the idea that we focus on one relationship at the expense of another. Of course, we have different types of relationships with each other but irrespective of the nature of our different relationships everyone deserves to get the fullness of who we are and nothing less than that.
Fiona a beautiful reminder of the love we all are and the connection we have with no separation from that love. Once we open our hearts to allowing ourselves to give and equally receive the love the barriers collapse and we find we are in true relationship.
“It was a movement of love”. This line really struck me as I have never really thought about love being a movement but it makes absolute sense that it is. If everything we do, every movement we make is in a loving way, we are building love not just for ourselves but between us. In affect, we are making love with everyone. If we are doing this everywhere we go, then love is going to be all around us all of the time.
Gosh Donna I love how you have said that. I love feeling that movement and how it is there to be felt all of the time. The movement of love or perhaps the quality of love is so tender, nurturing, respectful, understanding and deeply loving.
Donna, I loved that way of talking about love too, and about it being a movement. And it is so true that we can move, speak, listen and be in the world in a way that brings out the love that lies within. When we allow it to move within us as a flow, then there is very little that can stop this or slow it down etc. And we get to feel it in our own body in a way that feeds us back, and energises us.
Fiona, lovely how you included you mother’s friend as family. We tend to comparmentalise people by thinking of them as family, friends, workmates, bosses or strangers and we treat them differently depending on the category we put them in. What if we opened our hearts up to everyone and treated them equally with love and respect? There would then be no strangers, no special people, just people we can build true relationship with.
I love the part where you say a true relationship is about developing all relationships and accepting people warts and all, not seeking perfection as none of us are. Acceptance and appreciation,most definitely the way to go.
I am understanding more and more that true relationship is not reserved with just close friends, family and our partners but it is an inclusivity with all! If true relationships begin with self then by all measure those we come into contact we will have a true relationship with whether it is for a lifetime, or one of a moment.
It is amazing how by just being open with others it is like a spring door that opens from others and an outpouring of personal information that begins to flow out of them like your lady on the bench. The world is a pressure cooker, and there is a real need to release the pressure that has been building for all of us.
Family and specifically the aspect of blood related relationships has been bastardized to separate humanity from each other and to only focus on the people who fit into that box. Within that box love is the least traded commodity as it is mainly about fulfilling needs, ideals and expectations. It is not the physicality that connects us it is our divine origin and being part of a whole.
“So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships.” Thank you, Fiona, this is so refreshing and breaks many beliefs and ideals about what it is to love another.
It is all about connection, feeling the connection we have and getting all that we put in between out of the way. I realize more and more that I don’t have to build connections with relationships, but that I have to let go of my protection and then everything is there.
What’s not to love about what is shared in this article – it is our totally natural way. Thank you, Fiona. Our responsibility therefore is simply to dispense with anything that gets in the way.
That’s so beautifully put Matilda
Fiona we have to ask ourselves how on earth we have got to the point that we have, where we are living in such loveless relationships. We are love, that’s not a fanciful airy fairy notion, love is actually who we are: and so how have we managed to end up in families and marriages that are based on bickering, feuding, rivalry and jealousy and what force must we be constantly calling in to maintain such disharmony in the face of love ?
I love the way you describe love as a movement. And these words are a great reminder how we can be in all our relationships: ‘So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.’ I am learning to listen with different ears – instead of reacting, which is my own issues coming up, I am learning to understand what it is they are truly expressing. It makes a huge difference.
It shows we don’t need to have a lot of power, influence or money to change the world. Simply by expressing true love we are offering true change
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.” love can only expand, it is about knowing we are all the same, being love. Serge Benhayon and his family are a great inspiration in how we can live our love everyday with everyone.
Great Article and sharing Fiona, this is the way love expresses for sure…” It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times….”
How true this is. If we hold back in one relationship, we hold back in all. If we stop ourselves from feeling one thing, we stop ourselves in feeling everything. Allowing all relationships to unfold, to surprise, allowing our lives to be full of movement and flow is important and necessary.
It is an absolute blessing to have such a beautiful reflection of a deeply loving family like the Benhayons… to see and feel what is possible between people and from that, be inspired to develop that with all others we meet rather than settle for what we do.
I love what you’ve shared Fiona, it is so true… it is a ‘movement of Love’, not words or deeds. Similarly to you I have observed Serge Benhayon over many years and am forever inspired by the way his every move FEELS, just to watch it. His words, actions and gestures are all very much in line with how his movements feel, always… and this is how I have also gotten to know what love is… and what it isn’t.
If we consider the word ‘love’ as a movement then it completely changes our relationship with it, because nothing we can ever ‘do’ can be truly loving if it’s not done in and with an energy/movement of love – even if it looks like a loving act on the outside.
“It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” The importance and the responsibility of the depths of this sentence are pretty ground breaking. Seldom are we taught about the quality in which we hold ourselves or the energy in which we choose to align to. A movement of love brings both of these elements to the fore and changes our perception and our reality of what love actually is.
“It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times. It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.
So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other…”
This paragraph was profound for me, thank you Fiona.
Reading it, I realized that if I want to be treated this way – to feel respected, cared for, held and safe – I must treat all others in this way at all times and not allow a drive for perfectionism to get in the way of letting others be who they are and make their own choices. I can see how I hold others to ransom if they do not ‘get it right’, closing off, defending, hardening…. holding onto my own hurts around this and how it feels to be spoken to or treated in that sharp and accusatory way.
“Seeing them for who they truly are and not for .. how they behave…”, seeing them in their essence despite their behaviour; now this is an essential life skill to learn!
The first line that struck me was:
“There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving.”
I find it bizarre that the former is the way so many of us have been raised to be with each other. This was certainly how it was for me growing up and despite the awareness I have around it, there is so much deeper to go with it.
Instead of “using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other”, we can offer genuine communication of any possible grievance which includes expression of all that is there, with respect to both our selves and the person receiving; respecting of both of our tender sensitivity – not boxing someone or keeping them at arms length, but finding a way to express that is all encompassing.
This brave step out in to the unknown of telling someone how you feel about them is way beyond my capabilities. I can tell my friends how much I love them, I can tell my children and extended family, even my colleagues, but to let someone know with whom the relationship appears logistically challenged, I would always opt for silence. This blog however has shown me the error of this, because holding back on love with any one person is therefore holding back on the all.
When I go to bed I often recall all the faces that I saw and the exchanges I had during the day. It is astonishing how many there are and the delightful connections and interactions that have occurred. I now love connecting with people and feeling the equality and love that we all are. I am always confirmed that ‘we are all the same’.
Every connection, no matter how small is a relationship. Asking directions from a stranger can be the most beautiful exchange!
When we connect with others with no agenda other than sharing equally to evolve everyone not just the two of us, is the ultimate connection.
Valuing and appreciating ourselves and our families rather than focussing on what they don’t do or did do that we don’t like … simple and nourishment of any relationship.
Thank you Fiona for sharing your opening up to love, it is so beautiful that this love abides in everyone no matter what the behaviour may be. The Benhayons are an amazing reflection of what true love really is not just kept for their own family but shared with all.
‘I’ve always felt a connection to him but because of the logistics, I held back from expressing my feelings or developing the relationship further.’ How many times have we used logistics as an excuse to not express how we feel? I know I have done this repeatedly so. I avoided ending a relationship for years because of logisitcs. But is logistics the real reason? Or is that the excuse for not wanting to be responsible for what is really going on underneath that?
Gosh, imagine a family gathering without ‘no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other…’ I mean, it would change everything would it not? We generally treat the closest to us worse than we treat others, and we’re still very stuck in the idea that family should be treated differently to everyone else. Why do we have this separation? Could it be possible to share equal respect and appreciation for everyone in our lives? Maybe if we just kept it simple and treated everyone the same, we wouldn’t have to oscillate so much between our many personalities??
I love that Elodie – yes how tiresome it is to feel we have to behave differently around so many people – if we let go of what we thought we had to be and just be ourselves how freeing that would be. I melt more into my body with that feeling and then there would be a steadiness that would be within and we could just allow and observe others to give them the space to come to the same understanding.
I too have observed how Serge Benhayon and his family are with each other and it is so inspiring. The love and care that they share openly is beautiful. I especially enjoy watching how his grown children are with each other. There is no such thing as sibling rivalry in that family!
Thanks for sharing your story. I like how you said you had two mums as I feel I have many, and a lot of my family are not blood family but we have such a strong love and connection that blood doesn’t matter.
I used to often feel lonely and left out until I realised one day that it was me that was leaving me out, it was me that was not interacting with others and joining in and it was me that was waiting for someone else to make the first move instead of me loving them first, letting me been seen and letting them in first.
Fiona you’ve reminded me of something new I tried last week. As I was going to work, I was walking towards a woman who was dressed so impeccably and had so much grace about her that I felt the urge to tell her as I was walking past her and as she was about to hop on the tram. She was so surprised and so appreciative of my observation that she in no way would have expected at 8 in the morning in the middle of peak hour.
I knew I’d made her day by simply acknowledging her and appreciating her. In the past I would have held back my thoughts, for fear of looking stupid or worried about what the other might think. The thought of continuing to randomly let people know I’ve noticed them no longer feels daunting.
That’s great Elodie. I find myself doing that in the shop where I work a lot of the time and it can really make someone light up when you appreciate the very smallest thing.
The simple truth of this is beautiful: The movement of love brings more love with everyone in any moment. Not missing one of these moments is what allows the expansion of more. It feels a bit like snakes and ladders. When we accept and open up the expansion is there for everyone in leaps and bounds. When we hold back we contract, reduce the flow and feel there isn’t enough and everyone feels a little less for the experience.
Wow Fiona, that’s pretty amazing. I find it really interesting what happens when we choose to dip our toe into unchartered waters. Suddenly the fear of doing it is no longer there because we realised that we didn’t just plunge into the abyss. I’ve been experimenting myself with letting others in, and it starts to get easier and easier everytime.
The relationships we have are like the building blocks of our society. We can have a flimsy foundation of exclusive relationships or we can have a more solid foundation because we are open to being in relationship to everyone. In our individualism we seek exclusive relationships but with true brotherhood we are open to being in relationship with all.
I remember Serge Benhayon saying that true family is not about blood, but about love. This felt truly right to my bones. How could love ever only be reserved for certain members in your life? But, when you think about it, it is often those closest to you that get the most disrespectful behaviour of all -how can that be loving?
The way the Benhayon family live and what they share with everyone is truly inspiring and from what you have written here Fiona, it shows how it can simply and naturally spread by being this way with all who we meet.
It’s true that when we start opening up to one person, especially when it is someone that we have held back on with our expression, it makes it easier to do the same with another person. This could be a wonderful practice, liberating for all parties and setting a new foundation for relationships.
‘So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other’ this is such a great proposition Fiona as when we start to appreciate one another we realise how much there is to appreciate, whereas when we are critical we find more and more to criticise.
When we understand that love is there equally in us all we begin to seek it with each other and then accept nothing less in our own lives.
There is nothing more beautiful than bringing and experiencing truth in relationship.
Expressing love is so joyful.
Hi Fiona — What you have shared is common in relationships, always seeing what someone else has as better, more complete, more available but the truth is that we carry the love within us and the degree of love we experience in our lives is equal to the degree we choose to open our hearts. Knowing this is empowering because true relationships are available and it is up to us to be open to appreciate and celebrate this. Expression is part of developing loving relationship and all it takes is to speak or act from love and let the rest unfold.
I can not be reminded enough to appreciate.. thank you Fiona.
“A true relationship is developing all relationships”. Isn’t it beautiful that our close relationships show us the depth that is possible with every relationship. If we are to restrict our love to only those close to us, all of our relationships are made less because of it.
Fiona beautifully expressed, when we are open with everyone it leaves us free to deepen our connection with ourselves and others, and the whole of humanity is then affected by our reflection.
” a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.”- Yes, when we can see people from their innermost qualities we allow them the space to be themselves; they can feel the love we hold them in and therefore connect to their own love if they so choose.
Beautiful blog Fiona, what a gorgeous thing to acknowledge, we are in relationship with everyone and showing love is our natural way. It is incredible how far we actually have moved away from that innate love for each other. Expressing love is all that is needed.
True relationship knows no boundaries nor distance. Being open to everyone and treating each one with love and care, your words are deeply felt in their illustration Fiona.
Everything about what Serge Benhayon presents and lives is about relationships and love and there is not one without the other. Through relationships we get to feel and see who we are as do those we are in relationship with. The opportunity here is coming to the understanding that we are love and being in relationship is how we realise this.
It look me quiet a while to understand how love can be equal to all. I struggled to see how my feelings for my now husband could be the same as how I felt about a friend. But to explore this a bit deeper – what I now understand is that love is equal – what changes is our expression of love.
Fiona – as you share here- when you expressed to the man you had feelings for, it then supported to to be more open to other people. That is now my understanding, that everything is connected, that it is possible to have love for everyone in our lives, and that equality is actually so important in terms of consistency and steadiness.
The simplicity and universal nature of relationships explored. A great article Fiona and one that has me reflecting on all the relationships I have in my life, what is a true relationship? Like you I had not known one until meeting Serge Benhayon and family, then everything changed, what I thought was a relationship was not and the more I’ve allowed myself to live true relationships the greater richness my life has been.
Thanks, Fiona. I too have idealised what true family is, not thinking that it is up to me to be open and equally loving with everyone I meet in order to feel the connection I have longed for. When we see the potential to have love in every relationship, the day becomes full of joyful opportunity.
Fiona I love what you share it shows that the quality of love we have for ourselves is reflected in all our relationships and that the more we are open and loving with all those in our life the deeper our love for self and others becomes forever expanding.
I always used to have trouble in relationships and couldn’t understand why, until I realised that the first relationship that needed to be built and cherished was the one with me. And as I lovingly committed to building this relationship I found that developing relationships with others started to become easier and easier. Today I feel as if I am in relationship with everyone equally so, from my close family, my friends and right down to the person who pumps my gas. What a wonderful and priceless investment I made in taking the time to build a true relationship with myself first.
What I have learnt through the presentations of Serge Benhayon and observing how he is with everyone, is that we are in a relationship with everyone we meet. I am learning to be the same with everyone, seeing every one as an equal and not thinking I prefer or like one person over another. This has changed my whole understanding of relationships and even the relationship with myself and what love is, love does not measure who we love and who hold back being love with. I love the words ‘movement of love’ Fiona, to me it expresses that we either move towards love or away from love.
It’s so important to appreciate our family members and friends, as otherwise we can miss out on the total gems that they offer us on a day to day basis, in many different ways. We can miss the little things if we don’t take the time to appreciate our relationships.
Beautifully written Fiona and I love the way you have described Serge Benhayon and his family. I have also been watching how they interact with each other and it is true every single one of us wants the same love and deep appreciation they have for each other. Awesome blog.
Family and what that means and looks like has completely changed for me since meeting Serge Benhayon and the Benhayon family. I grew up being told that your family is everything and what happens in the family stays in the family. That belief was debunked when I learnt and remembered that everything we do is energy. So when something happens in the family, whether you share that with others or not, everyone is affected – friends, colleagues, other family and people we don’t know yet. I now have a family of hundreds, and while the familiarity or length of time of knowing each other may be different, the quality of love is no different.
To be in relationship with everyone, something that I know I could commit to more. More and more it is about that feeling of supporting another in the place they are at. That knowing that a word or look can make all the difference to another whether they are a close friend or smiling at a stranger in the street.
Fiona, wow this is gorgeous, ‘So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.’ I love this, i can feel how if Im being judgmental of someone that I am not loving them, there is a seperation, I have done this many times and can feel reading this article that being truly loving is developing ALL relationships lovingly not just those with family or close friends.
Fiona, I loved how you shared with the lady at the bus stop, and of course you are right, a connection can be made at any time, with anyone if we allow our hearts to open.
It has been my experience that unless you are a hermit and have absolutely no contact with any other human being in the course of your day, there is love to be found everywhere if I am open to it, in the daily interactions and connections with people – a smile, a momentary eye contact, an interesting conversation… these are all moments of connection that are there for the taking every day and if we are open to them we can never be lonely.
Fiona, a great blog, showing that each and every relationship is as important as the next. Wether we choose to see it that way or not, we are constantly in relationship with everyone. Learning to express ourselves with everyone builds and supports our own relationship with ourself and ultimately whoever it may be that we choose to have an ‘intimate’ relationship with.
Could loneliness be a choice rather than an affliction? Something we bring on ourselves by shutting out others rather than something that happens to us?
Hi Andrew. I love what you write because it makes me question even further. For me I would say it’s not a choice people would make willingingly but more a state of being that they have accepted because that’s what is expected of us. No one wants to feel lonely and the biggest loneliness comes from not loving who we are or comparing ourselves to everyone else and seeing ourselves as less than someone else. Everyone has an innerr beauty but few are allowed the space to feel this. If we met everyone with the love we feel then that would allow each and everyone of those people to feel something else.
“What struck me most at the time was how he [Serge Benhayon] was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” What a gorgeous way of describing the expression of love – the movement of love.
Its funny as for me, it has been the break up of my relationship that has reminded me that love is available to everyone equally. I had been reserving it for the special people in my life (not just my partner) rather than sharing all of me with everyone equally. I’m discovering that it is a way of living that has the capacity to transform all relationships.
That’s so beautifully put Simon
‘So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships.’ So true and thank you Fiona for sharing how expressing your love in one area of your life has expanded all your other relationships. For so long I have held back my love for fear of rejection and since expressing it more freely can feel how this has deepened all my relationships and my acceptance of others where they are at without a need to change them. Developing appreciation for myself and sharing that has been key to this development and it continues to evolve the more willing I am to drop my guard and allow others in.
‘I never knew what a true relationship was until I met Serge Benhayon and saw how he was with his family and everyone he came in contact with.” I had the same experience Fiona. Until I met Serge Benhayon I had never seen what a true relationship looked like…I thought I did and I certainly had an ideal in my mind of what that looked like, but the reality of what Serge has shown through his lived way has smashed through the picture I held. I know with certainty that any relationship I form is only as loving as it can be based on the foundation of how much I love myself first.
It ia actually so simple Fiona, instead of looking for the love from outside and to believe it is something that only others have, reserved for the privileged, we can build love for ourselves and into our relationships by bringing valuing and appreciative qualities into our lives.
I remember growing up and hearing the phase that you are only ever a guest or stranger once. These were pre-PC days when people engaged in conversation. I have not lived in London long, and it is a standard on the list of things of etiquette for visitors from other countries to stand on the right of escalators and do not talk to others on the tube. Did people on the tube have conversations with others pre-PC? Just because it has always been that way doesn’t make it right! It is time to become best friends with our long lost friend, our self and the rest will just unfold.
Beautiful Fiona. I felt as you expressed your love of someone the other side of the globe how your love flowed on around the Earth and returned to you touching everyone else on the way.
The Benhayons definitely are a great model of how we all could be with each other if we could all treat each other as equals and part of our own family. This is the way it is supposed to be. Imagine if all the energy used on putting people down and wasted on everything that isn’t love was poured into togetherness and love for all, no one excluded. Loneliness would certainly be a thing of the past.
I often ponder how certain peoples end up living in very remote or isolated or downright inhospitable places. Surely it is far more amenable to live in temperate climes where there is no struggle with climate or weather extremes? And to live in places where there are enough people to sustain facilities and amenities and utilities not to mention social networks? Could it be these groups, wherever they occur, are on some level seeking separation and possibly even struggle?
‘…you are never alone…’ Yes, on a planet with 7 billion people no man can be an island. Yet we can feel as isolated as an Aussie in the outback. What are we choosing when we disconnect with others? I’m feeling we’re allowing our hurts to take over, that for some reason or the other, we have been hurt by people (or so we perceive it to be) and have shut down accordingly. Yet the decision to open up is but a hop, skip and jump away. Or maybe just one of those : )) Granted, we may have to spend some time unearthing our hurts, but beyond that it is a choice.
I know I have felt at my most loneliness when I am surrounded by people from not opening up and expressing how I felt from a fear of being judged or for not living up to something – ideals I suppose about how I felt I should be in comparison to others. I myself didn’t hold enough understanding of where I was at and that those people I thought were OK were probably just as confused as me. At those times I found it hard to reach out to anyone because I didn’t feel anyone could offer me the space of understanding where I was at – I wanted to come out but didn’t trust enough to actually say ‘hey I’m hurting’ but I want to do something about it. I feel understanding is key – we’re quick to judge others based on what we have been told – it’s like a knee jerk reaction and it happens so fast. If we allow ourselves the space to observe ourselves doing this and offer some deeper understanding for ourselves and others in turn then we can start to appreciate not only that quality but the quality that lies within everyone equally.
It was interesting to observe at the mention of a potential romance, I was keen to hear of a happy outcome of the ‘and we’re now together’ sort. Yet the happy ending was well and truly there – in Fiona’s expansion into a new way of connecting with many more than just one. A relationship with a special man would have simply been the icing on the cake, a confirmation – not the main story, so to speak.
‘…There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other…’ Fiona you have captured here exactly the sad nuances of most of our relationships; our tendency to run each other down. How sad that we (and I include myself in this) lean towards abuse rather than love of the sort you, I and many have seen reflected in Serge Benhayon and his family. Thank goodness we have been shown a different way.
‘The world is family’ Fiona and distance no barrier to true relationship. And yet there can be many barriers within the family we’re born into, no closeness, or true communication. I’ve taken responsibility for changing the quality of relationship I have with everyone, including the family I was born into who live across the world and on four continents. I’ve found quality of communication to be the basis of this and reaching out, not waiting for someone else to do so. It has been beautiful to see how relationships can be transformed when we truly love ourselves.
Fiona thank you. Loving all equally is the basis of true relationship. I remember a time when I felt love for one person and not another. To not love one is to not love anyone. I’ve learned to open up more and not reserve myself for some and not others. I’m appreciating what this means for me and the world.
‘So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ Wow, Fiona in this paragraph you have summed up what love is and how to live it, you are inspiring, thank you.
I really appreciate Fiona how you did not hold back from expressing your feelings to another just because they might not be reciprocated or impractical because of logistics. It shows clearly how we are here to express what we feel and when we are not invested it looking a particular way, we are all winners in a sense.
There are so many ideals and beliefs about what a true relationship should look like, however when we actually hold ourselves back from developing true and equal relationships with others it impacts our bodies so much.
I love how you have said this Fiona – “What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love”. We are all love in our true essence, but it takes commitment and dedication to be and live in that with such consistency as we see in Serge Benhayon and his family. What we see in them is simply a potential of who we truly are in action. I am not there yet, but I have a sense that it’s not about trying to love everyone equally, but about being the true love that cannot help but be equal to everyone unreservedly.
I too felt and feel exactly the same when I first met Serge and also when I saw how they were in their family. It was nothing I had seen or felt before but definitely something I resonated with and knew was deeply true. Every moment since I first witnessed this I have been inspired to also develop this depth of love in myself, my life and with my family and all others I meet.
This is pure beauty. ‘So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’
It is the pressure or perfection we place on needing for things to be a certain way that blinds us really to appreciate what is in front of us. Thank you I love the way you have shared this final paragraph of your blog. What a gem !
Yes I agree – when we expect ourselves, or another, to be perfect, it’s a huge amount of unnecessary pressure on the relationship that often crushes it and offers no room for growth and expansion.
Love is a movement and it’s about developing all relationships. These are gold Fiona and parts that rang super true from when I read your blog.
What stood out for me is the simplicity of relationships. And how I had by far made it about complications, hurts, needs and despair.. But how this has been turned upside down since I become a student of The Way of The Livingness in 2010. I am blessed to have come around a supportive business and community which helped me to open my eyes and see really who I am and what is going on in the world. I had many healings, sessions and worked on the relationship myself in order to be were I am now – but I could not do it without Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and the whole Benhayon family – Thank you is not enough, but living my way now – is everything I can give!
Thank you Fiona, this is such a big subject – one that has been totally misunderstood nowadays, and how much we seem to place all the expectations on each other – instead of feeling the truth of who we are and being in connection with each other. How amazing it is to become more real about it and look from your own eyes to someone and feel the love within yourself and equally for that person.. That is instantly a relationship, so guess what is awaiting?.. Guess how much beauty lays in relationships and a true evolution of All.
I love what you have shared Fiona, when we trust, open our hearts and express to one other person, we then have a marker in our body as to how this feels. We then have a choice to be this same love and intimacy with all others, not in in a physically intimate way, but we can let people into our hearts and express our love to them, with out the fear of being hurt, as what really hurts us is not another person but when we close our hearts and protect from others.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.”
The way we judge, criticize, put down or become jealous of one another, prevents us evolving and working together unified as humanity, in separation and competition from one another we are always less, in unity and equality we can build the great Pyramid(s).
An important reminder that ‘It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.’ This is important as it’s about taking away any sense of judgement about someone else’s behaviour or removing any investment in them being a certain way to fulfil our needs. Just let people be.
“It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.”
This is great Fiona, as when we hold or treat another in this way, we confirm them in the love that they are, and in this love we are one and the same, there is no separation or division, love unifies and unites us, it’s a universal language we all understand, we know and we all trust.
I loved your blog Fiona, I also felt a sadness and missing this love and deep connection to others, yet when I look at my life its all there, I have a gorgeous family and friends and also people I meet in the street. So what am I missing one would ask, I realized I don’t completely let the people and love that is there in, and also don’t appreciate myself and the tender gorgeous man I am, although compared to a few years ago I have come so far in this regard, there is still some way to go, and that starts with stopping and smelling the flowers and appreciating all the love I currently have in my life.
Hi Thomas. I love what you share. I too can get caught up in not appreciating myself fully because I always want to be more rather than adoring and nurturing all that I am. And the more I find I stop and appreciate, the less anxious I feel about being an idea that I have, and just letting me be me and that who I am is enough.
We have endless opportunities to build true connections with others whether we are going to know them for along time or we are just passing them by, it’s what we do with these opportunities that count.
The Benahyon family are incredibly playful with each other and deeply loving, the interactions and exchanges I have been fortunate enough to observe are inspiring and beautiful to watch.
Reading your words Fiona is like being held like a baby. No matter what I might do, its like I can feel your care shining through. Amazing how in the end, Love is this absolute simplicity where there is no grand gesture of thing we need to say, but just a series of movements that flow from knowing the grandness we all are.
That’s so beautifully put Joseph
This is a beautiful sharing Fiona. I can see we never stop learning in relationships, everyone of them equally as important as the others. To me I am starting to acknowledge that we are all connected and therefore we are all brothers equally, and all deserving of love.
What a beautiful piece of writing Fiona. And so revealing of the way we place cold logic and reason ahead of the warmth and simplicity of love. We yearn for the love that is all around us because logic disagrees it cannot be so. Let go of that so called rationality, and the love is there…and always was. The Benhayon’s are a grand mirror, reflecting the capacity we all have in spades, to be love, and move in accordance to its way.
I love your analogy Rachel. I remember going to school and always thinking – I don’t want to learn about physics – I want to know why you don’t feel great today or why I don’t feel great today. It was a science for me – understanding me and when I connected to love – it simply all fell into place and made sense and now I love learning from you about science.
Fiona thank you for a beautiful blog that offers so much to ponder. Expressing appreciation to the people in our lives is key. Your words to the lonely elderly lady were wise indeed – whenever I express my appreciation to some one it deepens my love and care for all, and brings richness and joy to life.
Anne it’s lovely to feel what you bring with your sharing here, to me this expression of appreciation is something that I can see we often shy from but is something that builds a real depth of appreciation for everyone in our lives. Like you I know when I express my appreciation for someone, not only do they get deeply touched but so do I. When I move on and meet the next person I carry a deeper overall appreciation which they then feel. And on it goes, appreciation for self, and others is really and truly something that benefits all.
I can remember feeling quite sad in the early days of observing the Benhayon family together because of what it reflected to me – that there was a lack of true relationship in my own family. But many years on, I’ve been inspired by the Benhayons no end and have taken this to my own family. And without doing or saying anything about this to my family, but by me choosing to be more loving with myself, and with them, the relationship I have with my family has changed enormously.
It is so common in a work environment to treat people in a way that we would never treat those we consider dear and close to us. But what I’ve discovered is, the more I treat everyone – a stranger on the street to my closest friend or family member – in the same way – with respect, decency and care, all of my relationships feel more intimate and closer. It’s very lovely to share an intimate moment through a brief conversation with someone who you may never see again and not miss the opportunity.
Fiona, what you offer here is priceless, it has reminded me to give to others what I crave to receive and stop searching for perfection in all my relationships. Love and respect as you point out are key, sounds simple but for me if I am not doing the basics, then I am gone and often when things get bad we will make them seem big and hard but most of the time the reason we have wondered off track is because we have let the basics slip away.
I love how you say things Sarah :). Yes I completely agree and it’s really great when we get a deeper understanding that everyone is going to be different – so how can we have an expectation anyway because no one person is going to be exactly the same in what their level of relationship is at – therefore it’s so important to see the imperfections but understand them and not judge them for not doing what we want them to do. But instead to offer support around those imperfections so we grow together. There is always lots to appreciate.
I love this line “It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” So much is expressed through the quality of our movements and we can all feel this.
Reading your blog Fiona allowed me to connect to the appreciation I have for each one of my family members. Every one of them expressing different qualities and strengths. My family these days has expanded and includes many others not related by birth and I appreciate all the different reflections we offer each other.
When we connect to Love it can but only grow, as the true nature of Love is Oneness. It is only through our surrender to Love that the Oneness of Love is truly known and lived with all.
I have found myself moving through life with expectations on others. Expectation does is not give another the room to be themselves. I fill the space with how I think things should be and I have forever been disappointed when others do not meet the high bar I have set. In recent years I’ve been far more aware of this and have allowed much more space for people to be who they truly are and to accept and appreciate them in this. From here, I have been allowing true relationships.
That’s beautiful Nikki
Nikki you have really nailed it here, I can relate to how having expectations continually lead to disappointment, even of myself, and how in this we miss the beauty inherent in each one of us and the potential to truly connect moment to moment. It also highlights the needs we have of others to be a certain way, and that this need can relate to the emptiness we still have within ourselves that looks to another to fill, instead of being full with our own love.
We are united by love, not blood. We are all family who have allowed ourselves to become separated from each other when we made the choice to not live the love that we are.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.”
Thankyou Fiona, this is the key as to why we live so divided from each other. As a society we are quick to criticise and slow to truly appreciate what is right before our eyes, both within us and within each other. One need only look at the nature of our so called entertainment such as reality TV shows and competitive sports to see where we are letting our humanness slip. We are love and as such to not express this love invokes a pain that sees us act in ways counter to the love we all innately are.
So true Liane, it is like we play out the opposite of what is truth and it so obvious because we also feel the truth when we witness or experience the pain. What a set up!
A few years ago I watched Natalie and Curtis Benhayon on stage presenting True Movement. Curtis at one point made the comment he was not just a pretty face. In many other families this would have been followed with a playful remark but most likely one that would be diminishing. Natalie however responded with something along the lines of “You’re more than a pretty face”. This one moment has stayed with me as I realised what love, true relationships and family are. Snide remarks said in jest and playful mocking is something most of us have grown up with. If we protest against the mocking we get told to lighten up. But the truth is mocking diminishes another and is not love. Since that day I have not allowed mocking in my house, I say something when I see kids and adults mock each other and I’m far more aware of my own actions.
Nikki that’s gorgeous and I too have witnessed that with the Benhayon family. Put downs come in all shapes and forms and we all know instantly when it doesn’t feel right. I have also been the perpetrator of such abuse in the past with my own brother – sadly – as I grew up in an environment where this was the normal way to be with each other. I’ve also seen the devastation that that can cause and how when I realised what I was doing and how I changed towards him and appreciated him for the qualities he brings to my family how he started to grow and bloom in so many ways that were really amazing to me and I got a real sense of how everything we do and say does affect everyone around us.
This is a really supportive conversation, mocking is a huge part of Australian life yet as you point out it is hurtful, the appreciation of another’s qualities instead is so very powerful as demonstrated by the experience with your brother Fiona. I can still be a bit teasing at times so this is something for me to really examine now and look at letting go of. Nikki, Natalie’s response to Curtis shows how we can hold others in a way that always lovingly reminds them they are more, instead of confirming the low worth, supposed weaknesses, or faults, even if it’s done in jest.
What you have expressed here Fiona is one of the most beautiful things about Serge Benhayon’s student body – the development of love for self and love for all equally.
It certainly is Melinda and there are several people that I’ve never met before even that I still feel this deep respect, care and love for. It never stops – it just gets more and more.
A ‘movement of love’ – such a beautiful and honoring way to describe Serge Benhayon and how he is with every one he meets. I have also experienced he is absolute love personified. You are met with the greatness that you are within, you are met in essence and never anything less regardless whether this is being lived or not, no judgement only with love. With being held in this way I have only ever been inspired to deepen my connection to the love I am through being willing to understand what is getting in the way of living from my essence, from my love more freely. This has led me to deeply feel that love I am within is the love we all are. Being met in this way is a blessing and reflects the way, the quality that we too can bring to and develop in our relationships with whoever we meet and wherever we are, at home, at work and everywhere in between.
Yes, the movement of Love is not saved for one person is it? It is for all equally if we make our movements align to our own natural essence, always discerning, rather than play to the rhythm of the ‘normal’ around us.
Thank you Fiona, simply love your blog, it shares so much about the truth of love and the reality that we can only be love firstly by being self-loving and then by truly seeing love in another.
The more you appreciate, the more love grows. How beautiful is that and also very much my experience. When I want true intimacy with people, there has to be appreciation. Without it, it is not possible to have a true relationship.
This blog is absolutely lovely to read Fiona. How tempting it is to wish ourselves a part of something ‘over there’ when all along we are given opportunities to develop truly loving relationships with the people in our lives. The loving way shown by the Benhayon’s is incredibly inspiring and I deeply appreciate being reminded of what true love looks like.
What you said to the lady at the bus stop is so true, we have to be open to see the relationships around us on realise we are never alone. What a beautiful conversation that must have been.
I love these moments the best Lucy because I tend not to hold as many expectations around people I meet for a few minutes so I often find I’m more open. Sometimes the people who are closest to us are the ones we hold the most expectation of so it’s learning to let everyone in equally without any judgment or need on my part.
I enjoyed reading how learning to let in this man and express the love you felt for him allowed you to deepen your love for others around you and start to express this more. It gave me a new understanding of what was happening for me. I have been someone who has never fully dropped the guard and let people in, I carry protection and although will get close I always back away a bit when it gets too close.
I have recently started dating someone and the commitment scares me. I find it difficult to express my love and so instead of taking the steps you have I can feel I am backing away in all my relationships- it is devastating to feel this, there is still more to let go of about being this warrior and doing it on my own.
So beautifully shared Fiona, thank you. The looking out and longing is just an illusion to keep us from what we already are with-in. As you share how can we be lonely if our hearts are open to the loveliness we all already are equally? Permission to feel this and know this to be true is all that is needed and the next moment takes care of the possibilities, offering the “movement of Love”.
Hi Sandra. I agee and what I really felt when I read your comment was how we start to compare ourselves with others – feeling that what we have is not enough – when in truth there are relationships of love to be had every moment of every day – starting with ourselves first from the moment we wake to the moment we go to bed and all the other moments we share in between with everyone we come across – no matter who they are.
Simply expressing our true feelings is the most beautiful and yet natural way of life, a way which very powerfully would restore connection and intimacy in the world.
“There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving.” I noticed this as well Fiona and have been learning that relationships can feel amazing, without guards and protection. This is, without doubt, from seeing what is possible through the relationships of Serge Benhayn and his family. What has inspired me most is that we can all have that level of love and relationships in our lives, we simply need to choose a deeper love than the one we call normal.
That’s beautiful Lucy – thank you
Fiona, it is so lovely how you share what a true relationship looks like as the way you have expressed it, the reader can really feel. This makes for an invitation to explore our own relationships in this same lovely and most natural way. Because when we take all of those apparent issues away, we are all left with our equally amazing and loving selves.
Thank you Fiona for reminding me and deepening my knowing that I/we all hold within myself everything that I observe and seek outside of myself. It is truly empowering when I connect with this.
We have so many opportunities every day to be in a relationship with someone even if we do not know them. Often we can be so guarded when there are people we do not know in our presence but in fact we know and are connected to everyone! I agree, Fiona, that the Benhayon family are living examples of how to connect to everyone equally.
Yes we absolutely do. And with ourselves in every moment in the day.
Hi Anne. And of course we can’t forget that the biggest opportunty for this is relationship with ourself first and foremost – opening ourselves up to the fact that we are love – with no perfection but just absolute fun and playfullness. Thank you for your comment.
Fiona you nailed it. What you have expressed here is absolute gold. Especially considering the fact that most of our issues we face as a human race are actually caused by illnesses in our relationships which is basically just love that has not been expressed in full to one another.
I so agree Joshua. What Fiona has shared from the true way Serge Benhayon relates to all is the antidote to all the dysfunction and illness in relationships. – love
Absolutely Joshua – expession is so big a part of it. And I know what I’ve done in the past is to avoid those times when it doesn’t feel good and not really said how I feel. I’m learning to express how I feel more and more and when I do it may be uncomfortable at first but I have to say that what I’m finding is that the more I do say how I feel the more intimacy I have with the person I’m expressing to. It’s not so much the issue – it’s just being able to express my own feelings so that I can get past those feelings that hold me back or down in some way and then that opens me up past the issue. It feels very supportive for not only me for the other person. Obviously it is always said in a way that is in total respect and understanding of the other person at the time – just giving us the space to go deeper and not give up because we’ve reached a certain point again.
This is simply a Gorgeous blog. Being the same with everybody requires an openness and a willingness to see the Beauty and feel the Love in every one. As well as you Fiona, I open up more and more, appreciate more and more and within this come back to the one and only True value in life – LOVE. Thank you for sharing your experiences and Wisdom. It is indeed much appreciated!
A beautiful blog Fiona – thank you! I whole-heartedly agree with your expression about Serge Benhayon and his family.
It was the same when I first met them – I had never experienced a family in this way before – so much love between them and really enjoying being together, especially as they live and work in very close proximity. What an awesome true role model the Benhayon family is, living in a true and natural way for human beings -something we can learn all from and bring to our own relationships with the same quality and equal-ness for all.
This is super beautiful, thank you Fiona. I particularly love how you where with the lady at the bus stop, already communicating with her like this shows that we are never alone. We all deeply care for another but we have forgotten how to express it and let expectations come between us.
And there are so many moments like that Esther – all around us – all of the time. Even yesterday I had the most beautiful conversation in the shop where I work with a customer and I really felt like we were so open to each other in that moment that no matter what was said – the feeling of love was just there and will always be.
It’s never felt comfortable to treat someone as a guest when growing up. But the openness that Serge Benhayon and his family have with everyone takes this to a whole new level. As I continue to drop the guards I hold up to myself and others it changes ones relationship with life because our relationship with people changes. We can’t stop being around people in life no matter how hard we try by psychical means or focused on a screen, trying only perpetuates the tension. What Serge shares is that there is much joy to be experienced when we open up to people.
Lovely words Fiona..”So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other” Such a nice reminder to be willing to meet other and ourselves with the same acceptance of our grandness and our imperfections.
It’s true Joel that often we see the imperfections first from the ideals and expectations that we hold individually towards others coming from our own lack of acceptance. It’s so easy to be critical and always a lot harder to appreciate what others bring to us. I remember when I first realised that others could see love in me and how upset I would get and then I realised the reason I was really sad was that I couldn’t give mself that love for me – that’s when it really started to change for me and I started to accept myself and realise there were so many beautiful things to see and yes I still have the imperfections and that’s OK – I’m still learning and deepening everything.
What a beautiful blog Fiona sharing the magic that happens when we open ourselves to love.
What has stunned me through watching the Benhayons and listening to them present – is how much love is equal. Equally there for all and equally to be shared by all. And we can’t be ‘on’ with some and not with others’. We are on with all or none.
I totally agree Sarah. There is no on or off switch. It is either on with everyone or off with everyone. It’s quite amazing that we can think otherwise.
Hi Fiona, you can see in your eyes from your photo that you are living the quality of what you have presented here. You look gorgeous – thank you for all you have shared.
Fiona there is a lot in what you share here, how our family actually includes our wider circle of people in our lives, our workmates and our friends. And how when we live with a deep love for ourselves, that this actually expands even wider to love those we meet in the street and with that holding love we know exactly what is needed for them in that moment, and out it comes, either in our words, our touch or the grace in which we meet them. Our love is never meant to be held back from another.
That is gorgeous Leigh and so true. We often see ourselves as isolated or alone yet could be having those feelings whilst sitting next to someone on the bus that’s completely full. How many people actually feel alone because they don’t have someone they consider to be family when the truth is we are all part of one big family – all we have to do is hold less judgment for each other and develop an understanding that allows people to be and feel who they are not who they think they should be.
What a fantastic reminder Fiona of the inspiring example of Serge Benhayon and his family, and that they don’t keep the quality of relationships with themselves but have this same quality, love and respect within all their relationships, – whether it’s someone they’ve just met or someone they’ve known for much longer. They have provided a role model of how all relationships are naturally meant to be.
A very gorgeous article Fiona. I have to agree you can’t help but notice how Serge Benhayon and his family are with each other so respectful and so much more overtime I see them together. This does not change because anyone is around on not around. The consistency is incredible really. With this comes the inspiration, not because anyone is saying do it this way. But watching all of the relationships blossom of those who are around Serge or Universal Medicine is stunning to see. It’s no wonder that so many people Love all of the Benhayons.
I totally agree Jennifer and it was only when I let go of wanting to be part of someone else’s family or friends that I realised how many people I had around me and that until I opened up to them I would never be part of this world. And how in turn this made me part of every group because there is no boundary to love – just a feeling of holding, respect, understanding and allowing of each other.
loved this. Often once we give love an inch, it can walk all over us 😉 by letting it out to one, and allowing ourselves to be with it -naturally it flows through us. “It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” simply gorgeous.
I Learned so much from reading this thank you! We have people around us no matter what we do, and they are our family! Loved what you shared about expressing your feelings to someone across the globe, love literally knows no bounds, and this frees us up to be more loving in other areas of our life.
Hi Harrison. Yes it’s gorgeous when we let go of the boundaries and open up to everyone in our life – even the moments when we meet someone for just a few minutes.
Absolutely. And perfection and boundaries cease our acceptance of another.
Very true Fiona. So much can happen in those few moments, much much more than our eyes can see.
Near or far, love is love.
Fiona, your blog confirms for me that relationships are with everybody, all the time, not just reserved for close family and friends. Understanding the true meaning of love sets the foundation for what a true relationship then is, and all the wonderfulness that will of course follow.
So true. Love how you expressed that, simpel and easy. Fiona thank You for sharing it feels really intimate.
‘What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love’. ‘A movement of love!’ Wow, Fiona you have encapsulated something that can’t be either contained or explained, that’s pretty extraordinary!
Yes, the moment we express love, it allows us to express love much more in other areas as well.
Exactly. I have found that when we accept and surrender to the love we are in some areas then we are called to bring this love to all areas in our lives.
And when people resist as some do the love they are being shown, keep loving, never back away from loving them. Because I have found it’s the people that resist the most that actually are the ones that are crying out to be met with true love but feel so hurt they try to dismiss and reject the love they want the most.
Wow gorgeous blog Fiona. I am touched by the deep quality you share here and it left me with the feeling that we can make our relationships with everyone how we want them to be by expressing in a loving and caring way with everyone. I can feel that even if others do not always come back with the same depth of love it is very nurturing for ourselves to express respectful, loving and with playfulness. As you described so beautifully in this line: “There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving.”
Fiona, relationships are the fabric of life and so there really is no-thing more valuable for us to focus on.