Recently I experienced a delicious breakfast date with myself. I was feeling so complete in my own company. My husband and I were enjoying some time near a beach at a resort in Fiji and that morning I was not ready to eat before he set off for an early game of golf. I decided that eating later would suit me better.
It was lovely and confirming to feel the security, presence and confidence I had around being on my own but not feeling at all lonely. I had an enormous appreciation for how content I felt – and now feel – in myself.
An honouring morning:
- I lay in bed enjoying just being with me until I felt it was time for me to get up – without feeling the need to go into any form of overdrive
- I did what I wanted to do and honoured how I felt. I enjoyed time on the verandah working on my computer and drinking herbal tea
- Mid-morning when I started to feel hungry, I decided to get dressed in a beautiful dress. I did my hair in a way I wanted to wear it, rather than in the most pristine way to look my best; I went for comfort and how I felt and this was empowering in itself
- I walked to the restaurant feeling glorious and excited that I was having some quality time on my own, that I could Be as I am, even in a restaurant full of people
- I waited patiently in line to be served and escorted to my table for one. This was also empowering and lovely to feel how comfortable I felt to walk through the restaurant to my table
- I was escorted to what I think is the best table in the restaurant on the most perfect morning. The table was positioned at the edge of the restaurant, away from the hustle and bustle of people rushing to get their breakfast plate topped up and it was closest to the beautiful scenery of the beach
- I felt blessed and lucky and so appreciative.
My breakfast dining experience – breakfast was great! I ordered an egg white omelette with tomato and had some stir fry cabbage on the side with a little pawpaw and a pot of peppermint tea.
I paid extra attention not only to my meal but how I sat, how I ate and how I drank and all of this was extremely confirming of my connection, presence and stillness.
Each bite of food felt like a warm, soft, delicious kiss and I allowed myself to feel how tenderly I can eat, place food in my mouth and pour and drink my tea. I gave myself space between my bites and savoured the flavour of the food.
Looking back to a similar experience eight years ago, I would have felt:
- uncomfortable to be on my own
- self-conscious about others looking at me
- lonely
- too worried about the situation to even enjoy me
- not connected with myself or
- a lack of presence or tenderness during my dining experience.
That day I felt nothing but my deliciousness and tenderness in expression at a breakfast date with myself. I was completely enjoying my own company, the beautiful scenery and the gift of feeling content with it all.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and the support of the Practitioners and Student Body of Universal Medicine.
By Johanna Smith, Bachelor of Education, Perth WA
Further Reading:
Yearly Holidays – No Longer Taking a Break from Life, but Enjoying Me!
Today I Sat Down – Nurturing Myself as a Woman
The Greatest Love is Within Me
647 Comments
It is so lovely to feel delicious and great in one’s own skin and I can feel this so much in the way you expressed in your blog. I felt so much grace in it. What a gift for you to bring into the busy restaurant!
All of the noise, the craziness, the hustle and bustle, clanking plates and cutlery, the voices, the rush for the best bits at the buffet!
I can feel Johanna in her writing, a point of stillness, grace, and poise.
Agreed Lyndy, I could feel Johanna being in the cafe totally comfortable in her own skin, which feels so beautiful.
I’ve had many moments of just enjoying being with myself, and it goes hand in hand with being present and very aware. I love this blog and how much appreciation there is for such a simple morning, and realising how precious and important time like this is.
Reading your blog Johanna I realised that when we truly appreciate ourselves we need nothing from the world. We are complete as we are and therefore can never be lonely while we have this connection with ourselves, even when we are alone.
You can never feel alone when you are connected to yourself, thanks for the article Johanna.
Nice Joe…. we are never alone when connected to ourselves…love it.
Love this too, and it is true as when I am really connected to myself I do not feel alone and am very content in that moment.
Beautiful blog, Johanna, and so delightful to read. I could merely feel the lovely connection you had with yourself. There’s a flow. A natural rhythm.
What a precious experience, – not to mention inspirational. Thank you.
Thankyou for this post Johanna. I love the way you contrast how you would have felt eight years ago compared with now when you breakfasted alone. I too could write similarly – and now appreciate myself and all the Student Body of Universal Medicine who have made different choices to make such a difference in our lives.
Yes, Johanna, when we are truly with ourselves we can never be lonely, as we are connected to everything that we are a part of.
Absolutely Janet, ‘ when we are truly with ourselves we can never be lonely, as we are connected to everything that we are a part of.’ Beautifully expressed.
Those days filled with your own contentment are so precious. They do not need to be on a tropical beach though or on holidays. All the things you shared with us are things we can do every day. We can feel how to get up and get ready for the day. We can feel what and when to eat and we can enjoy being with ourselves. There is no greater fulfilment.
Beautiful and simple Johanna ~ thank you.
Yes, it’s lovely to read how much Johanna enjoys her own company and really appreciates the quality and time she has with herself.
Truly enjoying ones self is always a loving place to be and the world around you gets to feel your stillness at that moment. Thank you Johanna.
Thank you Johanna for sharing your appreciation of the contentment you now feel in yourself. This is so lovely to celebrate and also reflect on how it used to be. I can relate to feeling so much more complete in myself since becoming a student of The Way of the Livingness and allowing myself the time to explore this relationship and not feel I have to conform to society’s expectations eg that a woman is a failure if she is eating out by herself which is how I would have felt previously and therefore would have felt very self conscious and rushed my meal to get it over with.
Johanna a lovely sharing and one that makes me reflect on how I used to avoid any time on my own and now how there are many times that I really enjoy it. I also loved the way you fully embraced everything about breakfast and the time to celebrate simply being you.
I love how you gave yourself the space to enjoy you Johanna, how often do we make time in our busy days to stop and savour each moment as you did with your day?
I find the more I do give myself space to enjoy me – then the easier it is to make more of these moments and also easier to be with me more in every moment of the day in my daily activities.
I really could savor your blog Johanna, as you have savored yourself and every bite of food during breakfast at that morning. I feel, that everything – not only the food – unfolded its beautiful taste through you being so still and connected and precious with yourself. It is very interesting, that this quality of your morning is perfectly contained and transferred in your words – around the world – irrespective of time. That feels like such a moment of stillness has the power to create connection beyond time. So maybe you had company at that morning through us all now reading your blog, receiving the energy and connecting with it. Thank you for this delicious breakfast with you.
It is so great what you bring with this blog Johanna Smith, that you can be so joyful and content within yourself without the need of any other person to confirm you in any way shape or form. This shows how powerful we are when we let go the need of recognition and instead can appreciate ourselves for how amazing we feel ourselves. Innately we are alle equally amazing but we tend to not allow ourselves to connect to this and choose for a lesser life.
A delicious celebratory meal Johanna. When we are truly with ourselves we are never alone.
Hear hear Mary, ‘When we are truly with ourselves we are never alone’, and it does feel delicious.
Mary that is so true and also so wise – I love it – why is it that no teacher wrote this in big letters on the board when I was young?
Thank you Mary – simple words are often the most profound and loving.
With how busy life tends to be, with all that goes on it must be great to be able to spent such quality time on your own being able to focus on such a level of conscious awareness. I am now much more comfortable in my own company than ever before but have yet to make such luxurious me time available.
What you describe looks and feels simple, which it is if we allow ourselves to enjoy the magnificent beings we truly are, but in the world we live in today what you write about in your blog is revolutionary and the way forth for all of us.
What I love about your sharing here Johanna is the beautiful confirmation it offers of the true confidence, self-worth, self-nurturing and deep deep care that loving oneself can bring when lived every day to the best of our ability.
I totally agree Joshua. It is such a confirming and fulfilled when one does not require something external to feel complete but is able to be at ease and at one with oneself.
What a beautiful foundation you have developed Johanna – thank you for sharing this gorgeous experience. A delicious date with ourselves is something we can look forward to everyday. As once the invitation is accepted and enjoyed for the first time, you can only say ‘YES’ again to a date of such exquisiteness.
Absolutely. And there is no game of impressing anyone.
Yes, I love this Carola. And what a great way to live!
It would certainly take some effort to say no that is for sure!
Yes, again and again… We can date ourselves all day long on our own and with others.
Hello Carola Woods, to appreciate something like this for me allows more ease in you being able to say ‘YES’ again, really soaking up the feeling.
This is such a beautiful sharing Johanna. So many could relate to your previous alone dining experience yet not to your current one. So inspiring to feel that another way is possible. And not to spoil your fun but I would so love to have breakfast with you, I am sure it would do my digestion some good.
Time by myself is treasured, not feared these days, in much the same way you describe in this blog. Thanks Joanna.
Thank you Johanna for this de-light-full blog – I found it to be quite inspiring. I now feel that your inspiration will see me being more aware of the opportunity to make choices resulting in a litte more tenderness and a little more attention to the details in the preparation and eating of my meals. I sense the air of delicateness by which your entire ‘Date for one’ was enjoyed.
Wow, thanks Johanna. That truly affirmed to me that it is important to build that relationship with yourself, and make it so solid and deep, so that others can see that it is OK to do so.
YUM. Thank you for sharing you Johanna, felt I was with you on the date that morning today, a delicious confirmation of the loveliness of being with me.
I can relate. This whole blog felt utterly delicious, and an invitation for more scrumptious dates just with ourselves!!
Really cool Johanna. Often in the situations like the one you have shared (being on your own having breakfast or lunch etc) I feel what you felt 8 years ago… Worried about everyone and everything else around me instead of just enjoying what I’m doing and being with myself. What a contrast you have shared.
Yes it actually is quite huge and something I deeply appreciate. Deep thanks to the presentations and love of Serge Benhayon for constantly reflecting the fullness we all are and hold deep within.
You painted an awesome picture Johanna of the most scrumptious experience of being with you! I am more and more exploring that how we eat plays just as much a role as what we eat in our nourishment. Any guilt around food can create a hangover. Yet this does not mean eat anything. If we choose the quality of connection and presence you have described from the moment we wake up in the morning and this carries over to the food we choose and how we eat, we offer ourselves a powerfully wholesome experience of dining.
Johanna, it’s funny when we just let go and appreciate ourselves and what we feel to do, it’s amazing. You remind me of a great birthday dinner I went for with me a few years back , it was just lovely to celebrate me and my birthday without a need to have people with me or feeling in any way less. It’s such a lovely feeling when we embrace those moments and just stay in our connection with us.
Wow Monica, how gorgeous to take yourself out on your birthday. What a healing and what an inspiring way to live every moment. Others joining you then become the icing on the cake.
I agree Monica. It is like we take away the want for something outside of us to fulfil us. Instead we come already fulfilled so anything and everything is a bonus.
I agree Monica. And I feel that this connection with ourselves actually strengthens the connection we have with others, when we do enjoy the time and company of another.
This is gorgeous Monica. A reminder that we need not rely on hundreds of guests, cards and cake to celebrate ourselves. So much has been made out of loneliness…it is equated with being alone, but I know that I can highlight many times when I felt completely alone in a crowd, even in a group of friends.
A true definition of lonely needs to be made: something along the lines of not taking the time or having the will to get to know, love and appreciate yourself for who you are in every moment.
Gorgeous post and so well described Johanna. I can relate to being alone without feeling lonely. There was a time quite a few years ago now that I thought people (who I saw) who ate on their own were sad, lonely, boring or with no friends (!) So when it came to a time for me to do this, I labelled myself as this, hah (!) But when we start to really enjoy ourselves, understand who we are and then develop a love affair with self, there is this wonderful sense of ease about ourselves and life, and that care for ‘onlookers’ and their thoughts who may watch us dine alone no longer matters, as the only company that really matters is – connection to ourselves – whether we’re on our own or with a guest.
Yes I agree, Zofia, and this is the point – we can be with others all of the time and feel completely lonely and miserable if we are not connected to ourselves. To not look outside of myself for connection in order to feel seen and met, but to instead recognise how essential it is to develop my relationship with myself and my body, has completely re-orientated my life.
Yes I remember feeling quite isolated even when I was in a crowd or in my family and it made no difference to how I felt being around them. However now I have developed much more appreciation and self love I can be alone or in a crowd and the steadiness I have remains. I do not “need” another to confirm my sense of self and love being on my own just as much as with others.
It’s so beautiful to feel how your decision to connect with yourself first thing in the morning prepared you for the next step, and the next… with increasing tenderness and appreciation of yourself, opening you up to receive the world with the same tenderness and appreciation. Exquisite.
Yes Fumiyo, this was beautiful to feel.
Such a gorgeous moment in your life you have shared with us. I so felt I was with you having breakfast. It is very confirming to look at how far you have come in relating to yourself which you do with such honouring.
Johanna, how beautiful it is to be fully and intimately with yourself and how amazing are the changes you have made to your life in eight years. This is truly a compliment to your dedication and commitment to the real you. Thank you for sharing your delicious breakfast date with your delightful self. I too have been inspired and supported by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and its practitioners to change my life.
It’s very cool to be completely at ease with ones own company. I can relate to your contrasts over time Johanna, between the anxiety about being alone and the celebrating of time with me.
One of the most beautiful sights is a person sitting alone, and clearly they are confident and at ease with themselves. Actually it is beautiful to see that anytime and any place.
Agree Rachel, seeing the at-ease of someone with themselves is very refreshing and appealing; feeling the at-ease within oneself, is everything, and more.
Absolutely with joy to watch! I remember 9 years ago I would feel watched from everyone sitting on my on in public, and feeling lesser being without a partner, like there would be something wrong with me. The judgement for myself was huge and the hardness you could build massive walls with. Thanks to Universal Medicine I could find my own confidence within and now I am sitting and enjoying being with me. This has been a huge healing for me.
I agree Helen Simkins also to the “contrasts”. That quality time alone brings more quality to the time I spend with people. There use to be a need to be around people but then came a time where I couldn’t deal with it and had to be alone. It got so extreme that I was looking to buy a house with a big fence and automatic gate, a retreat from the world. Until Universal Medicine and through the teachings I realised and as we are saying here that there was a quality that I was missing within myself and so when I was alone I would be anxious and look around to do something or be with someone. The more connection I had just in the moment with whatever it is I am or was doing then this anxiety or need would fade. After building more and more consistency with this simple connection now I can truly enjoy my own company and equally that of others but for me this is ongoing. It like an ever deepening well of connection to moments of life, that bring more and more of a fullness to everything.
Raymond I can relate to this. I once described myself as a recluse, would hide away in my home to replenish and recover my depleted self. With self care I’m no longer exhausted, recluse walls have come down and I’m out there in the world. I said yes to a family invitation and am here in New Orleans at a huge family reunion. Three generations from four continents sharing a house, some in hotels connecting, communicating, celebrating. Once this would have overwhelmed me, but not any more. The more I am present with myself, the easier it is for me to be with others and especially large groups. Saying yes was the most precious gift I could have given myself.
Johanna, I can relate to feeling that completeness in one’s own company but after reading what you had shared I could feel that I could connect to me even further. I really wanted to join you at the table so I could be with me too!!
Hi Anna, this was my feeling too, I love spending time with me but having read this blog there is such a deepening of that available! An inspiration to feel every movement.
Great realisation JY – I also feel fine with being with me most times, and by reading this blog it took me deeper as well, showing me where there is more healing to do.
Sounds like a very successful date indeed Johanna! I have often taken myself out on dates, but I can say that there have been many times that whilst I was enjoying my own company, I have often let my mind wonder off into thinking about how much nicer it would be if someone else was with me. I don’t always go into this fantasy, but I’m realising right now, that if I’m truthful, I havent yet really appreciated myself as much as I could, and perhaps still use the idea of being with someone else as a bit of a crutch to lean on to avoid feeling that I am enough. That’s pretty revealing,
Yes, Elodie Darwish, in the past I would have also used the “idea of being with someone else as a bit of a crutch to lean on to avoid feeling that I am enough.”
Now I love having time with myself.
That’s an awesome reevaluation and super honest. Thanks for sharing Elodie.
Revelation
Johanna, this is a great inspiration to have a look at how I start my day and ask the question: do I enjoy myself and being with myself when I wake up, or do I already start thinking of the things to do that day? Why not love, appreciate and enjoy my self from the minute I wake up? And take that feeling into my day? Otherwise I might miss my self for the rest of the day.
This is a great conversation to have with oneself first thing in the morning, Thank you Ingrid.
So easy to do Ingrid in our busy lives…to rush on by, getting things done and forget the most important thing….ourselves.
That is a great question Ingrid. I am definitely going to be observing my first thoughts tomorrow, it really reminds me how every moment counts and either adds to a day full of love, or a day filled with missing myself – thank you.
It feels that the lovely nurturing we give to ourselves confirms the love that we are–and the beautiful thing is nurturing is personal and unique to every person.
I agree Adele. Beautifully said.
Good point Adele, nurturing is a very personal process and needs to be felt from this perspective and not from any sort of comparison with another.
A superb observation Johanna. How we can enjoy our own company and being just ourselves and being seen in public doing that is not commonly experienced. I know I would feel very self conscious going out to eat by myself if I was travelling for example. I was out for lunch recently and was sitting by myself for a while, like you it was amazing to feel how lovely I felt and I was just enjoying sitting and being. In the past I would always have something to do, so I could avoid what it feels like sitting by myself. It’s funny that I thought that there was something wrong with this. But really there is much about ourselves and many opportunities to appreciate and enjoy who we are.
It’s gorgeous to appreciate Jennifer- feeling and knowing that we have shifted and moved away from insecurities. I love feeling the depth of me.
I used to avoid being out on my own too. For some reason I used to think it represented a failure on my part. It is refreshing to feel nowadays that there is no failure in being out on my own and not only that but now I completely enjoy my own company when I am.
What you say here is so true Jennifer. I find as I focus more on taking time, even if it’s just a minute in my day, to stop, be still and feel how I feel ,there is an enormous appreciation and beauty that I feel that just leaves me feeling ‘Mmmmm’. From here no task seems too big as I take my time – without rush to attend to it. It really is making a difference to my working day and they are becoming much more enjoyable and productive.
What I love about it Jen is that eating alone opens you up to other people…as long as shyness and awkwardness don’t take over. When you watch people eating out in couples or groups, they are very enclosed, not really looking at anyone else. It is as though they are the only ones in the cafe or restaurant. .No wonder people feel lonely, because each table is like its own island nation, with a trade embargo against all others!
Sitting alone, not shy, not studying the wood grain in the table top is a beautiful declaration of our love for ourselves, and others too
I used to be the same, Jennifer. Even having a cup of tea in a cafe on my own was uncomfortable, I felt like there was a sign round my neck saying ‘not wanted’ I knew how silly this was, and slowly started to change my thoughts to ‘ i am not alone, but I am choosing to be on my own’, but still needed a book or magazine as support. Last week I went out for lunch alone, no props, just because i wanted to, chose my meal with care, ate it slowly ,attending to every mouthful, and enjoying how lovely it all felt. It was wonderful to take that time to appreciate who I am, and appreciate too, the inspiration to change that comes from being a student of Universal Medicine.
Johanna I can so relate with how you used for feel if I had to have breakfast by myself in a cafe. Simply I would think everyone would be thinking I was a “loser” with no friends. From everything you have shared I can feel how much fun it would be to have breakfast date with myself due to everything I have embraced from the teahings of Universal Medicine. So from your inspiration, I am going to plan one and I will report back how it went.
Thank you for sharing this experience Johanna and reminding me of the importance of stopping to connect with myself every single day; to appreciate my deliciousness which for me then leads to sharing that with others and connecting with it in others – one of my true strengths is knowing that we are all exactly the same as human beings. We are all loveable and amazing, we have let many layers of beliefs, expectations and hurts become obstacles in the way of living from that undeniable truth.
The importance in taking ourselves deeper to connect has influenced me hugely. Connection and paying attention to our very wise body makes great sense.