I have been reflecting on the false claims reported in 2012 by some journalists on Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine (UniMed) being responsible for the breakup of families. I felt to expose how this is an absolute untruth by sharing a letter and conversation that I had with my husband of 11 years. Marc and I have been together since I was 19, I am now 37.
5 March 2013
I love you.
I know this is unoriginal, a commonly used phrase bandied around by everyone, but now when I say this you can feel the depth and quality of my love that is expressed in these words, and the wholeness they represent. I can see this confirmation in your beautiful eyes – and the way I smile when I say these words to you.
I have always been able to tell you that I love you, but in the past it came with reservation, holding back. I kept a piece of my heart away from you in case you hurt me. When we fought I could console myself in the knowing that you didn’t hurt all of me. The hardness that came with this protection gave me a false bravado that if things didn’t work out and we parted, I would be fine. I would be strong, I would cope and carry on.
This need to protect played out in our relationship with my being hot and cold. One minute I was all over you, the next I was distant, icy and aloof. You stayed. We had fun, we got along, we focussed on the children, we had moments of wow!, but most of all life became dull. I felt something was missing, and that missing was me!
Over time, I have been getting to know the love that is naturally within me. This re-connection began 10 years ago when I started seeing a psychologist and began exposing my hurts. You supported this, even though you had some reservations about what was so wrong that I needed to go. We talked; I explained my feeling that I had to take responsibility for the hurts I had created in my life so I could be all of me, You understood. You supported me to make the choices I needed to heal me.
Marc, you gave me the space to explore what I truly needed, without placing demands on me. As I introduced esoteric healing modalities, and in 2010 began listening to Serge Benhayon’s Esoteric Medicine presentations via audio, there was more acceptance from you.
You also had moments of resistance, but these passed because there was no denying the different quality within me. I was lovely, stable and calm. There was less frustration and less drama. I slowly began making more self-loving choices and this allowed me to feel and express more of me.
The more I lived the deep knowing of me, the more open and accepting you became. You quietly started making more self-loving choices too. The quality of our relationship deepened. I let you in more. I will be honest, there was no perfection as I was still holding back, but not as much as before.
I continued healing my hurts. I attended UniMed courses too. You, my wonderful husband, continued to support me. With time, I began to accept that I am amazing. I began to know how amazing you are too. The more love I allowed myself to feel in me, the more love I felt in you.
I allowed myself to truly feel how your presence is an absolute support for me. How your simply being around, not doing anything but just being there, makes me feel open to being all of me. This feeling is not based on need but an acceptance that true support can occur in relationships.
When I expressed this to you in words you felt it deeply. Tears welled in your eyes, your heart expanded. There was stillness flowing between us and we truthfully discussed how we felt and how we had been. We made love in that conversation and that night we felt how physical union can confirm the love we both equally are. It was amazing. We both felt it. Our relationship evolved to wholeness.
So, my darling Marc I adore you and love you with all my heart. I thank-you for being the amazing man you naturally are. For being open, gentle, fun, committed to our relationship and for allowing yourself to express how you feel. We now have a new marker for our relationship. A foundation built on openness and love which allows me to fully express me. This deepening happened because of both of us equally. I committed to truly healing my hurts which supported me to let go of protection, express true love and all of me. You committed to being open, allowing and real, which has supported you to unfold your own love. You are truly awesome! Thank you for being all of you, it is an absolute blessing to have you in my life.
Here is living proof that with commitment to true love (which I re-connected to because of choosing to feel – and be inspired by – the example provided by Serge Benhayon), relationships can deepen and be about absolute love.
By Bianca Barban, Melbourne, Australia