Until recently, I had previously only ever felt a man’s true tenderness once in my life; a tenderness where there is no holding back, no protection or guard, just pure love and adoration, for not only themselves but also another.
To experience a man’s true tenderness is nothing short of amazing and exquisite – to feel the absolute joy in them, the expression of and being of gentleness, no holding back from all that they are.
There is a strength within this tenderness, without any hardness.
Observing such a different way of being in the men in and around my life, knowing and feeling there was a tenderness within, but that it was not being lived or expressed, I felt there was a fear that if their tenderness was let out for anyone to see, they would be seen as weak.
Why do we as a society support and allow men to be all that they are not when they are truly beauty-full?
Growing up, we are led to believe that this is just how things are; a given, an ideal so to speak, that we do not question. It becomes a part of us – a consciousness you could say – that boys and girls, men and women are not just separated by gender but also by clothes, colours, hairstyles, career choices, etc.
Nowhere do we allow or support a man to grow up being able to express what he is feeling.
Why should women be the only ones allowed to express, to be gentle and to nurture, while men are supposed to be hard, tough, the one who is always the rock? Is there something here that maybe we have taken for granted?
What if there is more to men than what we allow them to be?
Could it be possible to allow ourselves to feel that men are equally as tender as women, and that perhaps the life they are living is not truly the way they could be living?
Is it possible that underneath that hard, tough exterior is an amazing quality, a feeling of tenderness that is so special it needs to be nurtured, encouraged and supported by us as women so that quality can be expressed?
If you have ever felt the true tenderness of a man, this is a question that does not even need to be asked.
We all deserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are, men included.
To suppress and ignore this tenderness is robbing society of a true beauty, unlike any other.
I have experienced a man’s true tenderness in conversation, in passing and simply in their presence. It is truly inspirational and amazing.
To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent.
That men now have the opportunity to feel and be this true tenderness has been made possible, and is supported by, the work and livingness of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. I thank you Serge for being the tender and glorious man that you are and that you live and reflect for all to see, feel and be inspired by. For it is this livingness that allows others to also connect to the tenderness they are and bless us all, equally so.
By Nicole Serafin, Australia
246 Comments
A gorgeous testimony Nicole to the true nature of men; how beautiful it is to know, feel and share that. What you have shared here is true and I agree whole-heartedly;
“To experience a man’s true tenderness is nothing short of amazing and exquisite – to feel the absolute joy in them, the expression of and being of gentleness, no holding back from all that they are”.
When one man commits to tenderness within himself, and allows his life to reflect this connection , the domino effect is extraordinary
Yes and all the Kings horses could not drag us back to being less tender than the current marker we are at!
So beautiful to see and feel that at last men are able to show their true delicate feelings of tenderness and this is being felt, acknowledged and appreciated by us women.
“There is a strength within this tenderness,” We all have a responsibility to allow men, and all of us, to express and live with tenderness.
Tenderness is such a gorgeous quality to feel in oneself and in another and yet it is something that generally is ridiculed and denigrated in the media and the press. In schools too there seems no regard for tenderness and it is certainly not deemed as being cool. It takes a lot to go against the trend but if we can allow ourselves to feel our tenderness and allow this quality to inform our movements the rewards in our body are huge.
Men and women are equally tender, I love how some women and men are feeling safe and confident to be able to express their tenderness more and more.
In speaking to people I feel men’s tenderness and sensitivities are being spoken about, its like an awareness is being rolled out for discussion, exposing the old image of men having to be hard, tough and emotionless. This is such a blessing for all to expose the truth of men in their essence, opening the way for natural expression equally for men.
“Nowhere do we allow or support a man to grow up being able to express what he is feeling..” This is so true. Young boys are called cissie if they cry and think they have to be tough, so hiding their true feelings. They need to be given permission from a young age to express, as women are……. Tenderness is a beautiful quality in men and women. Mmmm.
I love that you express the tenderness that you see in men and you know them to be. We often see things in another but if we do not express what we truly see, the beauty, the sweetness, the tenderness.. , we hold each other imprisoned in the roles we have learned to play.
To feel the true essence of anyone, man woman or child, is to catch a glimpse of the divine, and then that is innately inspiring for us all.
If we were all tender with ourselves and each other, there would be far less tension, comparison, judgement and far more understanding and love with all. So much can be gained by expressing the simple ways of our tenderness.
Beautiful to read such supportive words for men, and for women in how to support men to be their natural, tender selves. When a man is tender, loving and caring with himself it’s absolutely gorgeous to see and it also feels completely natural. Our society seems to mould men away from their awareness of how delicate and fragile they are, as if toughing out discomfort and pain and being self neglectful somehow brands you a man.
Thanks Elizabeth – we men are not at all rough and tough even though many keep on displaying this exterior. As you say just look a bit closer and you will see a very beautiful and tender man.
“Could it be possible to allow ourselves to feel that men are equally as tender as women, and that perhaps the life they are living is not truly the way they could be living?” Absolutely I know so many men who are not living the life they should be living and hiding their tenderness behind a tough exterior. When these men let go and just be and share themselves openly the beauty and exterior is felt. It is just that its not the norm for men to share and let go.
Tenderness is not a word many people would use to describe themselves but it is a quality that is there within us all. When we choose to feel our own tenderness it can inspire others to reveal and share their own natural tenderness.
I couldn’t agree more Nicole – we deserve nothing less than to live the tenderness we are and to suppress and ignore this is robbing society of a beauty like no other. You just have to look around to see what life lived without this quality has brought us.
If we’re willing to see it – the tenderness of men can be found in all men – waiting to blossom – and if a man is confirmed in this tenderness – it allows him to keep showing this. I have come to appreciate just how gorgeous men can be -their toughness only a facade to the care they can bring to the world.
We could all work together to break down the pictures we have of how men and women should be. Allowing each of us to be the person we are, without the expectations and the measuring up, would actually create something quite extraordinary in a world that is drowning in its mess.
It’s always so beautiful to read a woman share so lovingly and openly about men. I find so often we are ready to attack, blame or judge men for how they are in our world. A world we have all contributed to. If we started to appreciate men in the same way we talk about the need to appreciate ourselves, the divide would not be so great. Everyone is born a loving soul…it’s us who changes things along the way.
I love the simplicity of what you share here Nicole ‘To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent.’ So true and a great reminder for me to appreciate the beautiful men I have in my life.
The more both men and women allow each other to be their natural selves the more harmony and absolute beauty we will see and experience in our relationships and in our world.
‘To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent.’ Hear, hear Nicole, truly powerful and loving celebration of men and women. This is amazing to feel and to claim, this is indeed possible, to express it as you did is inspiring. It deeply confirms that we are all equally sensitive, gentle and tender regardless of our gender.
There is a great strength in the quality of tenderness that Nicole is describing. It allows for being sensitive, vulnerable and honest, so it reflects what a true man is and how he can live to end the superficial, competitive relationship between men and play his part in ending the sexist abuse between men and women.
I remember several different men growing up and in my teens that were very gentle men, and yet at the time I felt they were weak and didn’t really think of them as being ‘real’ men because of their sensitivity and also their consideration of me as a woman. It’s so ironic looking back because the very thing I actually wanted at the time was a man who who respect and honour me (which these men were!) and yet I rejected then because I was caught up in the consciousness of there being a certain way that men should be and act on the outside. So no surprise that the men I subsequently attracted into my life were often those who did not treat me with the precariousness that I am, and essentially because I didn’t appreciate this preciousness within myself. The more I’ve learnt to honour my own preciousness, the more I can accept and feel this same quality in men.
it is essential that we support each other, men and women, so that we can all feel that beautiful connection within and without, and with each other… Because this is the nature of the soul to have that heartfelt connection to support us in being who we truly are.
It is exquisite and magnificent to be in the presence of men and women who are not afraid to express their tenderness. ‘We all deserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are, men included.’ I absolutely agree Nicole. When we allow ourselves to express our tenderness we are in effect inviting others to do the same. When we give ourselves permission to fully express who we are this then opens up opportunities for others to also choose the same, from our reflection we have the ability to inspire.
Women are subjected to the same conditioning about male role-models, the same advertising about beliefs, values and attitudes towards what it means to be a man. So it’s a double whammy for men and they bury their tenderness very early on. Women can support men in expressing their tenderness by appreciating it when it is seen, heard or felt. The world misses out on the true strength and power of any man who can express his innate tenderness.
There is amazing tenderness in men and I have experienced this in some of the men around me but sadly it often only comes out in moments of crisis, loving interactions with little ones or other special moments that they feel totally accepted and supported in. The world has forced upon our men a way in the world which is not true, which hides the truth. Thanks for making the call Nicole and exposing the true beauty that resides in all men whether acted on or not.
For each man that takes a step into his own true nature, and that being tenderness, it is as if it opens a pathway that makes it easier for other men to walk this Way and to feel this lovely connection.
A beautiful message to all men Nicole, and indeed to all humanity;
“To all the men in the world; you shine equally as do we all, let your tenderness be seen and felt… for you are all truly magnificent”.
There is no doubt that to feel the love and tenderness of a man is such a divine gift.
Thank you Nicole, what a great support this is, so lovely to get confirmed the true quality i feel within. And start to allow myself to express it more and more.
There is a lot in society that comes from both sexes that tell men that they should be tough and hard. I have come across a lot of women who have contradictory beliefs whereby they are looking to be met with tenderness and gentleness by men but at the same time are encouraging them to harden up in every other area of their lives. It’s like we are asking men to separate themselves into parts and play a role depending on the circumstances at the time. No wonder there is such a mistrust in men to be seen for who they are on the inside.
I have just spent a little time with my brother, we haven’t seen each other for a few years. At first it’s always a little funny watching the exterior that all men put up to perform to those ideals and beliefs that have been imposed. I love to watch the true natural tenderness and depth of care that radiates from men when they think people aren’t watching, how amazing will it be when they know it’s ok to let all that beauty out…
It is as you share Jaime so beautiful”to watch (and feel) the true natural tenderness and depth of care that radiates from men”. When those well oiled barriers of old heavy imposed ideals and beliefs let go of their grip what emerges is a joy to feel.
that we are inherently tender, I have been feeling for quite a long time… but what I am now understanding is that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and the tenderness and the delicacy are so deep and so profound, that as I start to allow myself to feel this, I realize that there is a whole new world this to me to experience, and of course some deeply embedded old paradigms to release.
Beautiful Nicole. I cannot but help to think after reading your blog that if all men were allowed to and even encouraged to express their innate tenderness it would not be possible for the war, aggression and likewise atrocities to abound as they are today.
The tenderness of men is truly divine and I am so grateful that I have been given the opportunity to feel the truth of every word written here. I used to find men scary and I would shut down around them, altering my behaviour in a bid to stay safe. Through the reflection of Serge Benhayon and the men inspired to live true to their own tenderness I have been able to see that tenderness is innate to all men. This gives me great appreciation for what men bring and how much pressure they face to shut down to their sweetness. The men I know that have reawakened their true nature are going from strength to strength – truly powerful and unshakeable in their tenderness. Thank you for allowing me the space to appreciate the true qualities of men Nicole.
Thank you Nicole for sharing, the tenderness in men is certainly equal to the tenderness we as women have. I have and experienced this in my husband and certainly in the Benhayon men, a beauty to behold.
I loved reading this Nicole and have really enjoyed seeing my husband find his tenderness, which like you say feels exquisite and with this also there is much more playfulness and a sense of lightness within our relationship. Thank you for the gorgeous reminder.
I have found that when I am tender with other men, they usually show their tenderness in return. However I have also noticed a pattern in myself to not show my tenderness for fear of making another man uncomfortable, this pattern is a protection I adopted long ago to avoid rejection by other men and part of the hardening that I chose.
More and more now tenderness is becoming my normal way, and I am learning that if another rejects my tenderness that is ok, it’s a work in progress. Thanks for your blog Nicole.
Thank you for sharing this Tim. It shows me just how sweet and sensitive men truly are and gives me a greater understanding of just how much pressure there is on men to remain shut down and closed off.
‘We all reserve to live nothing less than the tenderness that we are, men included.’ We can only unite when both men and women live their tenderness