I felt to write of the massive responsibility all men carry and all boys should be shown. Their responsibility is to cherish and behold themselves and the women in their lives. A woman’s responsibility is to live from her sacredness and to be this with all others equally.
Women have a sacredness within that is so powerful and holding of all life but if a woman allows abuse in her life (no matter how seemingly insignificant) she loses touch with her ability to identify abuse and completely wipes out any connection to her sacredness.
Men have the ability to hold women in the light they truly are, knowing the beauty they bring to life. When a man holds a woman or girl in all the preciousness she is, the world benefits, as men can confirm and support women in a way that is specific to men.
When a woman is not held for all the beauty she is when around a man or being physically intimate with a man, she is accepting abuse – it is an abuse that runs so deep that it leads her choice not to let men in fully, in case this form of abuse comes around again. She starts to live a guarded and measured life.
Many women and men are being misled by the belief that they cannot be in a consistently stable relationship that is based on equality, respect and support, which creates a true union with each other. It is as if we have simply ruled out the possibility that such relationships are possible.
If a young man is not brought up by a woman who holds herself in the utmost knowing of her sacredness, he is unlikely to find any true guide in the world that reflects what a responsibility he has when living in the world with women.
The hurt and pain women feel when they allow themselves to be held in a less than absolutely precious way, runs deep and affects her in all areas of her life.
Men are so very tender and deserve to be honored and held in this light right from birth to the point of passing over. To allow men to be anything but this tender sweet person is to rob both men and women of the love our world is crying out for.
Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.
We are to hold each other in this equalising light and not allow any gesture, look or thought to interfere with our ability to connect with such innocent purity.
The way I was introduced to this understanding was through the lived way and inspirational teachings of Serge Benhayon and the Hierarchy. This understanding, my understanding, has brought an immense amount of healing to myself, my family, my life and our community. Thank you Serge Benhayon for reintroducing Love to a loveless world, and opening up the possibility for humanity to heal.
By TS
Further Reading:
Men — Are We Set Up To Fail?
In the Company of Women
A Man’s True Tenderness – A Woman’s Sharing
It’s not possible to be in true union with another person without first re-uniting with ourself. We have to come back and re-group who we truly are, a yolking, a re-binding, a coming back together again with ourselves and then from there unity with others. Otherwise we’re in fragments and we take that fragmentation out into the world around us.
Self-responsibility will get us everywhere we’ve ever truly wanted to be. And that responsibility is ultimately the responsibility we have to our alignment. We’re either aligning to a consciousness that cements us in self or we’re aligning to a consciousness that frees us from the prison of individuality and returns us back to the living truth of Oneness.
“Likewise we all have a responsibility to not allow men to be less than exquisitely tender”, I have to say that I disagree. I’m not sure how we would go about ‘not allowing men to be less than exquisitely tender”. I mean practically speaking when so many men are brutal how would this look?
“Men have the ability to hold women in the light they truly are, knowing the beauty they bring to life. When a man holds a woman or girl in all the preciousness she is, the world benefits, as men can confirm and support women in a way that is specific to men”, these words came to life this morning when I read them as I have felt the deep confirmation of my sacredness recently by a man who I have only just met. It’s made me realise that the length of time that we know someone is of no significance at all, it is about who we can feel a person to be. And the other thing that I am coming to feel so deeply in my body is that when something about us is confirmed then that quality naturally gets emphasised and encouraged. It’s a very beautiful process.
Men and women are made to support and compliment each other but we have categorised, stereotyped and segregated them. So many of us have sectioned the men off into one sub category and thrown in a list of universally accepted traits such as ‘shallow, insensitive, uncaring, jokey, blokey, tough, strong’ and ‘hyper-sensitive, emotional, dramatic, gossipy, bitchy, caring’ for the women. If we have problems then often the women will seek support from other women and the guys will seek the support of other guys but the guys won’t talk about what’s going on, they tend to simply hang out with other guys. Through our behaviours and beliefs we are missing out on the absolute gold that the different sexes could very naturally be offering each other.
This blog confirms the beauty of our vulnerability and the preciousness we allow others to experience in our presence when we honour it
Reading this blog melts me and empowers at the same time. Being reminded about my qualities and men’s as well, helps me to connect more with the importance of holding myself in pure love to be able to hold others in the same quality and restore the cycle of love around me.
The True way we live with each other every day is with the most loving reflection that creates movements and expression of that Love so the precious and tender sacredness we all hold can be lived.
It’s no wonder that men and women struggle to understand each other most of the time, as from the moment we arrive in this world, we are placed into little boxes, either pink or blue, and from there on, who we truly are is overlooked in favour of who the world expects us to be. Allowing little boys and girls to stay connected to who they are, to be honoured for the precious and tender beings they are and to be supported to know themselves in their uniqueness, will surely flow on into all their relationships, in every aspect of their lives.
All women and men are equal but each bring their own unique expression of who they are.
To accept and allow abuse is also abusive to both yourself and the other.
Yes, to know and live from our innate divineness, ”Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.’
What I’ve noticed, and particularly observed in myself, is that we don’t go into the world with an already established set of standards of what is acceptable and unacceptable when it comes to how we are with each other. This means anything is possible and we are pretty much fair game, whereas if we initiated a process within ourselves of establishing a standard of true care, nourishment and always cherishing who we are it would raise our standards across the board with others.
There is such beauty in both men and women when they allow themselves to express from their natural essences, In this expression one lifts up the other while deepening their own expression.
Yes, we are both equally beautiful when we are in, and express from our essence.
When truly seen and felt for what it is, the relationship between and man and a woman holds the great potential for us to inspire one another to live the power we are here to live though our incarnations, and such to live together the might of Brotherhood as one.
Yes and how this brotherhood is inspired by opening up to people again.
Beautiful Carola and a true marker for what a relationship is, a means through which we evolve with and trough each others reflection, supporting each other to live the love we are together and from there with all others onwards.
So many women have expended a lot of energy fighting for equality with men when there is no need for fighting because the qualities we bring are different and equally needed in the world and our joint responsibility is to support others to reflect their innate qualities for the benefit of all.
It’s awesome that we have the modality of Sacred Movement with Nathalie Benhayon, Karin Becker, Jean Gamble and a few others making sessions available over the internet. These sessions can allow us to connect more wth our bodies from the inside, exploring further and connecting more deeply with our sacredness. This then supports us to be in this energy in our everyday.
“Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.”
I am coming to the end of a super super busy time at work and what I noticed is that I am really tired and I saw that I put work before my well-being and definitely before my precious beauty and sacredness. It is like I put the latter in a box and just worked really hard, long hours, weekend work etc…and said I will see you in a couple of months. Putting in a box is what actually made me really tired and it was good to explore why I thought I had to do that, what belief system was at play. Great learnings for the future as now I am working on bringing it with me as much as I can in my daily life – during the busy and the not so busy.
This has shown me the responsibility I have in holding myself in the innate beauty I am. Accepting zero levels of abuse in my life and reconnecting and living from the innate sacredness within. What you have asked us to do here is set a new standard globally in all of our relationships. Amazing. Now we just need to take heed and live this.
This is simply beautiful to read, that we are all so very worthy of being loved for the tender and sensitive beings we are.
It is true that we feel the tiniest bits of not being seen for who we truly are or how another can feel when we are holding back our own gorgeousness from them. It is great to get really honest about how sensitive we are so we can be aware and understanding of it and not be in hurt and reaction to what happens around us.
I have a man who has come into my life and initially I thought he was the one who was guarded with me, however, what I am learning and starting to see is how much I have held back from him to avoid being hurt and when I do drop this and open up more he is actually right there with me, in this I am seeing how much I hold a wall up.
I love how you are very honest MW. I have noticed this too in myself and it shows that often when we point the finger at someone else and blame them for not being open with us, it is us being guarded in the first place which puts the other person at a distance.
I can feel that as a woman, the standards I set with myself, in terms of how loving, how I treat myself etc is often then reflected back in how men are with me. If I am loving, then men often hold me with this same level, if I bring myself down then I notice that men talk down to me too. All of life is a reflection, it is our choice whether we choose to blame or be open to learning from each reflection.
Agreed and may I add that our Livingness become all about our divinity, so we are a divine reflection in all areas of our life.
Reconnecting to our sacredness through Sacred Movement as shared by Serge and Natalie Benhayon is a powerful tool that is there for both men and women Equally!!
This is an amazing tool to reconnect to our sacredness indeed, to discover what it is to be truly delicate and sexy.
“Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.” Humanity is fairly lost when it comes to knowing the purity of their essence within, the process of reconnection is so vital for us all to return to a more loving and harmonious way of being with ourselves and each other. Serge Benhayon has made this very simple; by beginning with the Gentle Breath Meditation, we can reconnect and get to know ourselves again.
What I love about this is that it brings to light the absolute power that is available for us to live together when we confirm each other, men and women, with who we are in essence and allow the space for each other to express the innate qualities we were born to. As it is through our incarnation that we each bring the qualities that support and inspire our evolution as a humanity.
And sometimes all it takes in someone’s life is for this tenderness to be expressed, simply and clearly for a whole new paradigm to be revealed
If men and women have a difference that stands out – then this is it – celebrating and appreciating each other for the qualities we hold – and knowing to not accept anything less than this. It is possible within the bond between men and women and where we naturally step into who we are.
For men to have a supportive role to women is often falsely interpreted as this would make them less then women, or oppressed. In history we have always put one gender above the other and so we have lost the sense of what it means to be equal. And we have lost the power and strength the support truly means. Both men and women hold equal power and responsibility.
Absolutely and to live in true brotherhood and equality we need to embrace the unique qualities we bring and support each other to reflect these to all.
There is a purpose to the expression of men and women and they are not the same although equal in their value. To simply realise this purpose is already a great shift in the consciousness of today, to live and be a role model to all others of our gender is going to change the world.
Each and every one of us has a responsibility to live in a way that reflects who we truly are… When we do this humanity will have the opportunity to recalibrate its very existence and awareness. And this is what is needed… A constant reflection of an alternative universe.
For a woman to be held in all she is by a man also requires her to hold herself in this way otherwise she won’t be able to accept it as she won’t feel that she is worth it.
Yes indeed, well said and if we don’t accept it, we may well shoot the messenger. Not a particularly advanced approach.
Everyman has this spark within them and from the eyes of one who has felt this, this fire can be ignited.
Everyman has this spark within them from the eyes of one who has felt this, this fire can be ignited.
A blog full of truth, rawness and honesty. Showing us that there is a purpose to live and that living with people or being in relationships, it is possible to have harmony, love, stillness and joy as your basic principles, as we can allow those principles with our own selves first, for it can all then form the lived values you have set as your foundation in your life. But again – it must be lived forth by you. But you can.
When we honour ourselves and each other in an awareness of the Divine preciousness we are from we feel the love of the Universe.
For a woman to be deeply and truly held in the love she innately is is for a man to not judge her in any way and continuously value, appreciate and adore such a reflection. And for him to do this he must do this with himself equally first and how many men are willing to love themselves enough to not judge and to see the beauty within them. Not many at all!
We need men who can reflect to other men and boys that it’s ok to be their true tender, gentle selves. We have made being tough, hard, insensitive and non communicative the ideal for men to fit into, which means they leave behind their true selves at a great loss to our societies.
All of us, everyone of us, have the responsibility to live with the true awareness of everything that we are.
Inspiring to feel the power of men and women when they are connected to their beauty and express from there. I feel blessed to have role models that reflect to all a re-connected way of living that supports me to develop a relationship with my sacredness and then my responsibility is to live this every day.
Re reading your amazing blog today made me aware of my own responsibility to connect to the preciousness and sacredness that I am and to not accept or allow any self abuse whatsoever.
I wonder what life would look like if we made decency and respect one of our core foundations and principles that we live by. People are incredible and we all need to be cherished and treasured, it should be one of our top priorities in life.
We should be taught this from young ‘Women have a sacredness within that is so powerful and holding of all life but if a woman allows abuse in her life (no matter how seemingly insignificant) she loses touch with her ability to identify abuse and completely wipes out any connection to her sacredness.’ Along with this which is very true ‘Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.’ And yes Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have indeed brought an immense amount of healing to many people’s lives, families and communities and continue to do so.
This is ringing some bells for me today! A big thing I ask others around me to be is responsible but if I’m not living it then I’m not leading the way when it is needed and also not being a role model. I live with three men and it is so clear that they feel the agitation and tension when I slip into being disregarding or hard on myself… they are the first to say ‘what are you doing’ in these instances. We really are being watched all of the time.
And with deep apprecation for sharing this without holding back, this is what is needed to reconnect us back to our essence. You counter abuse in a truly beautiful and sensitive way.
So beautiful to read this blog and feel the truth that is being expressed, and which we ought to live day in day out. We are all super precious and it is for us to hold this preciousness, going against the abuse that is so accepted.
As a mother it can be very common to only show our kids the mum side of us. That is what they then know a woman to be. We can let them see the woman and all of us or we can let them see a very small part of us. Choosing what we let our kids in on affects hugely their relationship with us and all others. How they view women can be defined by how we are as the woman in their life.
We can only truly enjoy each other when we are in our fullness and don’t hold back. For a woman to be connected to her sacredness or to a quality that resonates with this is to offer the man that too and in that is a gorgeous connection, one, that, if neither runs away from, is the making of an awesome relationship.
I feel that I am inching my way backwards towards the delicateness and sacredness of us all. And as I inch my way back I can feel others in my life also inching their way back too. It’s quite beautiful because by the reflections that we’re offering each other we are silently encouraging and supporting one another to eventually return to the same place, which is actually where we all began.
The sacredness of women being lived holds the trajectory of our worlds evolution. For it innates the foundation on which a man begins his life, so he too can support the very same sacredness, knowing it is for all of humanity. A most profound article.
You have brought me to another level of understanding when it comes to the responsibility we have to honour ourselves and others in order to allow that connection and not accept abuse, even in its most ‘innocent’ form. We have such vile and extreme levels of abuse that so many less vile or extreme levels get accepted as normal because we are so grateful we are not at the extreme end. Making a dedication in our lives to choose to value, nurture and embrace all the tenderness, fragility and sacredness we are, offers an immense healing.
In the world today we have learned to accept harshness as the status quo, but as you say there is another way, which is holding each other as the precious beings we are within, and meeting that being in every moment.
Holding back for fear of being rejected is something that plagues us all. Who is going to make the first move and show others that its safe to be themselves? While we play the waiting game, we all miss out on expressing and sharing the love we are inside.
Their responsibility is to cherish and behold themselves and the women in their lives. A woman’s responsibility is to live from her sacredness and to be this with all others equally.
there is so much hurt in the world… So much buried within virtually everyone but our relationships both interpersonal and between countries have become so distorted. We really do need to come back to the truth of who we are to take responsibility for our own hearts, to start to heal, and to discuss this openly and frankly as this article does
We are all (men and women) deeply loving precious beings so how weird to see what goes on in the world and how sad to see how we hurt ourselves and each other. It all starts here with each one of us expressing the love we are and not waiting for someone else to do it first.
It only takes one small remark to touch a weak spot in us, a part that is not fully love , and we can find ourselves reacting and taking things personally. ” Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.” The more we connect to this when we are on our own the easier it is to be this with others.
When a woman restores and lives from her sacredness the whole of society benefits. The way we are living, the abuse and disregard is obviously not working and it’s never going to – it could be said that this way of living reflects the belief we are not divine. When we reconnect to our divinity and the love and sacredness within we simply restore who we truly are – and what a beautiful responsibility it is to live this and nurture it in others.
We all have the responsibility to connect to our own tenderness and sacredness and let go of the pictures we hold about another, as it through this connection that we can create true intimacy in all our relationships.
When a woman honours her sacredness it allows all others to be and when men are tender this too is a huge blessing for anyone they meet. I am blessed to have many people in my life who are living more of their true selves and they inspire me daily to open up and share more of me and honour myself more deeply so that I can bring a greater quality to those I meet.
“Men are so very tender and deserve to be honored and held in this light right from birth to the point of passing over. To allow men to be anything but this tender sweet person is to rob both men and women of the love our world is crying out for.” We are all so very tender and this gets lost from very early on. Now working in a primary school I see the toughening up effect starts so young. because we as adults were told to not be ‘wimps’ – ie lose our tenderness – we then pass this on to the younger generation. Time to reclaim being tender for everyone.
Men do know how to hold a woman in all her beauty and sacredness, there is no perfection in this either, but men who know how to hold themselves deeper and have felt the holding from women no matter how they are, will naturally also hold women the same way.
Thank you, this is a beautiful blog and one that allows me to deepen that sense of sacredness in myself and allow myself to hold that dear, knowing that I have responsibility in that not just for me but for everyone.
To speak of the tenderness that we all innately hold within ourselves is so very important and that it is not a lost cause nor something that is reserved for only some moments in our life.
Our only responsibility is to live true to ourselves. As a woman therefore my responsibility is to hold myself in all the preciousness and sacredness that I am. This then allows everyone around me an opportunity to do the same.
If we try and change anything at all without starting with ourselves first then quite frankly it’s doomed to fail. It might look like it’s been successful but that success won’t last, whatever it is will eventually crumble because it doesn’t have the foundations to succeed.
It is when men stop recognising the preciousness and beauty in women that we are able to objectify them. Reconnect to that beauty and objectification becomes impossible.
‘Women have a sacredness within that is so powerful and holding of all life..’ Sacredness the holding of all life, I feel these words have to sink in as in to truly become aware of the responsibility of staying connected to our divinity.
we do have this responsibility… In the essence of this awareness can be such a defining paradigm in our lives that can totally change the way that we live … And consequently all our relationships
As a woman how could I not hold men, because they are so precious and so beautiful. But I cannot love for men, I can only love myself. Holding myself I cannot but hold men, and when I truly hold myself whether men respond by holding themselves and therefore of me as well, I will keep deepening the love for myself.
Men carry a lot of responsibility, this responsibility has been interpreted to be in taking care of his family financially, securing a place and name in society etc. but what if the true responsibility of men is to love and cherish themselves so that this care is deeply shared with the women in their lives as well as in every action including the work that they do? Men and women naturally know how to hold each other when we hold ourselves in love, this is the only way, any other way would be abuse.
You bring and speak of a deep deep honouring of ourselves and each other that is most beautiful. There is so much beauty and tenderness in each of us that deserve to be honoured and cherished in every moment.
I am discovering that the hurt and pain of any abuse received as a woman is because I know that I have hurt and abused myself. Deep down we know how precious, sacred and still we are and to live otherwise, without celebration of this fact each day, is a constant abuse we inflict on ourselves.
“Men have the ability to hold women in the light they truly are, knowing the beauty they bring to life”. Men can by cherishing themselves and the women around them, have the ability to support a woman to know that there is nothing she needs to do and that all of her worth and power is the light of her being that she shares with the world, not through anything she does.
What an opportunity and responsibility we have in what we are reflecting 24/7. We either inspire or give others the permission to be less.
This is true education. For us to learn and understand the responsibility we all equally hold, to walk in the power of our incarnation knowing in full the richness our sacredness, is where we need to begin our education, so that living in a way that deeply celebrates the magic of who we are and honors the wisdom of our knowing is our natural way of being, through which we can all heal and evolve together.
When women live in appreciation of their Divine Sacredness it allows men to equally feel and connect to their innate tenderness and Divine Sacredness.
Just what I needed to read and be held by before I let myself fall asleep, in my own love, my own warmth, knowing that the sacredness within is to be cherished and nurtured above everything, for it is this sacredness that holds not just me but all of humanity.
I feel it is important that we don’t get caught up in a picture of what a woman and man should be or do, even if the words sound good, its more important that we are real and that what ever we go to is lived.
As a student of Universal Medicine I am hugely appreciative for what Serge Benhayon presents in regards to the true quality of a men and a woman. Everything that is covered we already know, its actually very natural. We do not need to learn or be in our sacredness as woman or get better at tenderness as men, its more about just reconnecting to who we are and then the rest comes naturally, without trying to do anything. This reconnection will not always be achieved or be perfect, I know that in my marriage we have our ups and downs but for us its about how quickly we choose to return to love, not about dwelling or having expectations, it’s a every moment choice to commit to love over self.
The word sacredness in the past I have not been able to connect to within my body but re-reading this blog I got to feel a depth of the responsibility I have as a woman to connect and live from her sacredness. It felt so solid in my body which no-one or nothing can harm with an absolute knowing of the woman I am. A beautiful reflection and confirmation that the sacredness is there within me.
This is a whole different level of understanding for me but I can feel how stunning it is to hold each other with this level of love.
‘Men are so very tender and deserve to be honoured and held in this light right from birth to the point of passing over.’ Very true, and something we need to acknowledge so boys can feel and live their quality of tenderness instead of loosing themselves in smoking, computergames, mobile phones, alcohol, drugs etc. This is not normal although it is a normal part of society nowadays, living our qualities that is what should be called normal.
We have a responsibility to each other that doesn’t require us to do anything for or towards the other directly as often is the case of relating our responsibility towards one another. By simply holding ourselves in the love that we are and then bringing that quality out, this supports others far greater than anything we can do towards them or having them as the focus above who we and who they truly are.
2 very poigiant things you have shared here. ‘When a man holds a woman or girl in all the preciousness she is, the world benefits’. Yes Absolutely. And …… ‘If a young man is not brought up by a woman who holds herself in the utmost knowing of her sacredness, he is unlikely to find any true guide in the world that reflects what a responsibility he has when living in the world with women.’ Spot on, everything you have shared is so true and from recent observations within community and society on the whole I have seen that we are definietly NOT currently living this. We have much to learn, heal and change and every single person has a responsibility in being that change.
‘To allow men to be anything but this tender sweet person is to rob both men and women of the love our world is crying out for’ – this is a great call for all of us, men and women alike, to redefine our relationship of what it is to be a true man. Its not about being tough and strong… its the tenderness deep within all of that which is the gold.
Both men and women bring a specific quality to raise and support the other, however naturally both a man and women are capable of expressing their gender opposites. This can be simply observed when a young boy is deeply in touch with his fragility or when a small women is filled with purpose and actions many needed developments in her life.
What is clear is that each of us, men and women equally, have a responsibility to live. For women to live their sacredness to the best of their ability and men to hold women as that in all the tenderness and care they are capable of. How extremely different the world would look and feel if this was actually a lived reality en masses. How we treat women and how the women allow themselves to be treated is absolutely awful and the complete opposite to sacredness, tenderness and care. Which makes it even more important for us now to live it and be the living reflection of what we can feel within.
This is such a profound blog but very simple to follow too. It’s written for everyone and it would be so great to pick up a popular magazine at a doctors surgery and be greeted by such wisdom and love instead of the usual ‘trash mags’ that just fill up space with gossip and lies. This needs to be out there for everyone.
What a blog, this is truly beautiful to read. The love, tenderness and sacredness we hold in our body should not be held back, the way we should live is in utter respect and full allowing of each other to be in the true quality. Abuse can be in very small things, but as you say, when it is there this beautiful holding bond is not possible.
“The hurt and pain women feel when they allow themselves to be held in a less than absolutely precious way, runs deep and affects her in all areas of her life.” And here begins the long journey of protection, guards, hardness the walk away from our divine might.
Great to see an article about an aspect of our nature that is completely overlooked – our sacredness; something that has been left as an untapped quality deep within, waiting to be rekindled, but that our current society pays scant if any attention to.
The majority of things in our society do not support honouring the gentleness and preciousness that is innately within all men and women. We spend so much time and effort looking for outside confirmation of who we truly are, that we often overlook the simple fact that it is all within, waiting for us to reconnect and honour this.
There is deep responsibility for women to live in our sacredness and express this unreservedly with everyone. When we take this responsibility this is the movement that supports us to hold our men, and all men in nurturing and tenderness. It is our responsibility to say no to any abuse and to express this from deep love, so men will know and feel the truth of their own love, and from their natural self behold and deeply cherish the preciousness of all women.
[…] the same author : When a man holds a woman or girl in all the preciousness she is, the world […]
As a woman, when a man truly cherishes and adores you- it is such a beautiful feeling. I love when they drop the guard and show their deep tenderness and care.
Whenever we hold each other in love, everyone is nurtured, separation is dissolved, and humanity as another bridge back to itself as it truly could be.
For both men and women being and living our true selves is the ultimate purpose in our everyday life.
Such a beautiful blog to read as its shows how we all have a responsibility in how we are with ourselves and from that, with others, men and women. And the more we honour and appreciate ourselves, the more we can share this with others.
I do hear what you are sharing here but feel that it is equally important for women to love and honour themselves first and foremost and to not accept less than that from men. If we as women connect to our preciousness, then it is easier for men to see and feel that however if we don’t care then why should we expect them to care either.
Well said Rosie, the thing is if a woman doesn’t connect to her own preciousness then it’s not possible for a man to feel and witness that preciousness. Sure he might cognitively know that it’s there but it’s much harder to confirm something in another that is known cognitively but not felt. Our bodies respond to what we can feel.
Beautiful to re read this blog! The responsibility of men is to cherish and behold themselves and the women in their lives. and a woman’s responsibility is to live from her sacredness and to be this with all others equally.It is very healing to read and re read these sentences and to acknowledge the abuse we have allowed into our lives in all different ways to not feel how powerful we are and the responsibility we have towards each other to hold one another.
“Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.” I love returning to our this blog as a reminder of my and all of our responsibity in every moment. Thank you.
A beautiful blog that encompasses responsibility for all members of humanity to hold each other in preciousness, no matter what sex or age. Why do we treat a baby with such delicateness, warmth and wonder but not a middle aged man? True, we can’t physically hold them, but in the energy of beholding.
It is so exquisite to be held in and by such love and equally so to hold another in such light. Nothing can compare. It is what we all seek when we are not living it so. So why have we accepted less?
The power of a man expressing tenderness cannot be underestimated, and as we have seen, in the life of Serge Benhayon, one man simply being who he truly is can change the course of humanity
Both sex’s have innate qualities that compliment each other when expressed in full
This is a great blog to return to as it foundational in all relationships and importantly the one with ourself.
It is lovely to read this again and feel the love that is here expressed. If we support and nurture children to maintain their connection with their essence and to live from it we can break the present cycle of abuse.
Our relationships are so precious and yet we can treat each other so casually and without the sacredness which we all hold within. I am learning to feel that sacredness and preciousness in myself and so this can be reflected to others around me.
“Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.” When we form and build relationships with this in our foundation then we can truly support each other and all grow in love.
I love this blog, it is so straightforward and clear. All that doesn’t hold a women in the beauty and preciousness they are is abuse. We as men and women are having the responsibility to support each other in all that we are, so all abuse should not be allowed. Holding a women in the preciousness she is is a beautiful thing, it is the highest form of respect for each other and our qualities.
What’s difficult is that we live in a sea of abuse. All of us are abusing ourselves and each other constantly. Words like ‘honouring, preciousness and sacredness’ mean absolutely nothing to the common man right now. We need to start with the simple but at the same time complex suggestion that we consider treating each other with a very basic level of decency and respect. We are all so far from this it’s incredible but at least we can all work towards this and understand it as a basic concept.
A Beautiful response Joshua – and this is the truth of what Serge has brought to us all. I feel truly blessed and deeply appreciate walking on the earth in this moment and all that is offered to Humanity.
I’ve just read an article from a so called ‘boys expert’ in which she is telling that it is normal for boys in their puberty to greet each other with degrading nicknames that it is the way they confirm their friendship. For me it is not normal at all and far away from the truth of the sensitivity and tenderness of all boys and men. We have a responsibility to express in a true way and expose this behaviour as abuse to both men and women equally.
Thank you for sharing this Annelies, yes I feel that some things written by ‘experts’ leave me feeling we have to do better than that. Boys to greet their friends with derogatory names or even punching, Yes it is normal but it certainly does not confirm their friendship, it confirms that they have both given in to the same false imposition that men are tough and don’t have feelings. I agree that this is the way to stop the destructive and abusive elements of our society: “We have a responsibility to express in a true way and expose this behavior as abuse to both men and women equally.”
I absolutely agree with you Annelies, how can that be normal when you remember how tender and beautiful little boys are. This is them innately it doesn’t go away, unless we turn them away from it.
Your words are deeply confirming Joshua of all that I have felt when in the presence of Serge Benhayon. He has been an inspiration for men and women alike, and he has offered the world a way to live that brings a new level of tenderness and beauty to a world that has long forgotten what it is to truly treat one another with dignity and respect.
I agree Sandra the depth of this writing is really incredible to read.
I love re-reading this blog as it so lovingly expresses truth. There is absolutely no judgment, just the open, truthful statement that by honouring the true, innate quality of each gender equally then intimacy and empowerment occurs.
After reading this amazing sharing which touched me deeply. I felt to be very still and allow myself to truly feel how much in past years I’d lived ‘a guarded and measured life’ as a woman. Gradually as more love is lived in our daily lives I feel the importance of responsibility is revealed. As in your words “Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything come before this knowing and way of being”. Beautiful thank you.
You make an important point Vanessa – one that would be easy to gloss over in order to avoid the fact that it is deeply painful to harm ourselves and each other continually.
This blog has equal elements of deeply confirming beauty and the call for me to face the detail of when. how and why I don’t unreservedly live the love that I am.
It would be easy (and familiar) to say that the world is painful and harsh and that I need to be guarded. But the truth is this is a vicious treadmill which runs my thoughts and actions is a way that masks the one thing that hurts and yet I do not want to face – it was I that gave my will to this and only my humility that can free me to walk with Love.
A bit like sticking pins into my eyeballs in order to not feel the pain of my severed hands.
Thank you Helen and Vanessa for highlighting our dishonesty and our predisposition to hide from the truth. Yes, the world can be painful and harsh, but for me what is at the crux of this is that we cannot continually blame the world when we are undoubtedly an equal part of this world and that we have the same responsibility to change and make different choices.
On re-reading this blog I am once again deeply touched. The level of love this is written in takes me to the truth that a whiff of anything less than preciousness – from ourselves or another – hurts, deeply. A lifetime of experiencing this and in turn acting it out as a means to shield oneself from further hurt is undone in reading this exquisite piece.
Hugely agree with what you share here Zoe. When we deny our sacredness we lock ourselves away and others. Our bodies effectively shut down and the exquisite woman that we are is not there. It’s a very abusive way to be with ourselves and of curse with everyone else as well.
This beautiful blog desesrved a second reading and now I just have to share it. We all need to read this… this is what should be on the front page of the newspaper and in doctors waiting areas.
I agree Rosie, it brings such an understanding to relationships with ourselves, each other and illness and disease.
We can hold each other in love and appreciation for what we bring and thereby support each other to go to new depths with ourselves and with each other. All that it takes is letting go of the ideals we got taught and trust in what we see and feel.
This really stood out for me – the responsibility to love and appreciate ourselves. “Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.”
It is about caring for the basis (i.e. ourselves) first only then will we be able to truly care for others.
This is so true, we should each other in the way we truly are. Precious and sacred beings, and I can truly feel that any moment I don’t honour any of that, I choose to abuse myself and everyone else in my life.
Our precious innocence never leaves us and thanks to all that has been presented from Serge Benhayon it is returning once again to my life and my family.
It is such a grace to be shown and then to feel that at our core we are completely innocent, whole, glorious and so, so precious. Serge Benhayon as enabled so many of us to truly become aware of ourselves again and begin to re-establish these qualities within families and our homes once more. It is how we have lived eons ago, so we all know it in truth.
Pernilla we are so used to giving to get a return or getting disappointed when our love is not returned in the manner we anticipated. So many expectations and certainly not unconditional, so many games being played that no one wins. Simply to be the love that we are puts an end to the competition and comparison which is actually abuse.
The more deeper we connect to our inner sacredness as a woman the more love we can feel we are, and that we are from. Only from this place can we truly know what feels abusive in our relationship, when on the outside it may appear loving.
As a man who deeply loves women, it is a powerful reminder to read: “The hurt and pain women feel when they allow themselves to be held in a less than absolutely precious way, runs deep and affects her in all areas of her life.”
The picture accompanying this article speaks volumes. The gorgeousness of both – together and separately – is divine and I am particularly struck by the depth of tenderness evident in the man. This is poles away from the video clip I saw at the gym yesterday, which portrayed an assortment of fairly terrifying-looking individuals having sex in nightclub toilet cubicles – abuse glamourised. We have a long way to go overall but we are taking steps in the right direction here by setting a new baseline for human relations in general and understanding of abuse in particular.
I love this and it is so true. Through the presentations and teachings of Universal Medicine I have become much more loving in my life and open to people, including men. As a result I have received tremendous support recently from a male colleague in an area that I was struggling and in turn I was also able to support him in an area that he required support. The whole experience of relating has been so beautiful and magical, it has touched and changed my life greatly and confirms in a very real way the power of Love and the support both men and women can offer each other.
I can really re-read your blog anytime and it always opens up another level of awareness and understanding for me how immensely important it is to cherish and honor oneself as a woman and bring this to the world. As we give this to our sons, partners, brothers, friends, colleagues etc. we enable those men to connect and cherish themselves and women in the same way. Out of this accrues a mutual growing.
There are no winners in a battle but in and with love, everyone is a winner.
If we based our relationships on the simple fact of what abuse truly is and accepted no abuse what so ever in any way, without perfection of course, we would not have nearly the level of relationships issues faced so much by so many.
Absolutely Joshua, first we need to understand the depth of love we are capable of and to understand that anything less that love is abuse. It’s a big call, and as you said no perfection, but I agree if this was known widely and lived, relationships would be flourishing not floundering.
If we truly lived what you have suggested Joshua then we would have true love on earth and not the mangled reinterpretation that we currently have.
There is a silent competition going on stemming from the believe that men and women are different, which however is not true. Yes, we bring different qualities but innately we are the same. Seeing someone as different is putting them down or placing them above, either way does not bring any true equality but keeps us in separation and thus sceptical towards each other, not allowing any room for intimacy and closeness.
‘When a woman is not held for all the beauty she is when around a man or being physically intimate with a man, she is accepting abuse – it is an abuse that runs so deep that it leads her choice not to let men in fully, in case this form of abuse comes around again. She starts to live a guarded and measured life.’ This is so true, what a responsibility we each carry to ensure a woman is always held in the beauty of her essence.
I would add what a responsibility we each carry as women to ensure that we hold ourselves in the beauty of our essence and not allow the demon of self-doubt or lack of self-worth to corrupt us.
Absolutely agree with you both. Self-doubt is a demon, something that comes from outside of us that we say yes to. The more we see it this way instead of identifying with it, the more we can say No when hose thoughts try to come in, in the knowing that they are not us.
I agree Josephine, what if when we hold ourselves in love we are holding ourselves on behalf of all the women in the world. Would we not be inspired to hold the most divine and full on reflection of love we could hold?
I agree Mary, This really is an invitation to all men and women to be the love they they are, to deepen that love within has to happen first, so that that love can be fostered and there be the love to share with others.
Something that became clear, in a way I had not considered, is that when we toughen ourselves in protection from the abuse of others, we lose the awareness of the beauty inside us too. Isn’t that interesting, that shutting the gate to hurt shuts it equally to love and sacredness.
Yes Rachel, this makes a very telling point which is worth contemplating deeply and then for me bringing with me as I go about my day, sensing the moments that I wish to shrink away or close down, and how that is shutting me down to my own beauty and sacredness.
Certainly something for me to ponder on as well. Overtime I go into a moment of nervousness or anxiousness, where self-doubt might come in, what I’m doing is shutting down my body, shutting down my sacredness. And this is not asking for perfection, but honesty and awareness. The moment I realise that this is what i do, I have choice to let go, say no to the anxious, self-doubting thoughts that are coming in and connect with my body again, and open up. It’s simple as long as the honesty and willingness to return to our sacredness is there.
I agree Rachel that we think we are avoiding the hurt by hardening up in protection and guardedness but we are fooling ourselves because by shutting ourselves off to our own love and love around us, we are adding to the hurts even more. Closing down to others and not letting them in also hurts others, confirming their choice to remain even more guarded and protected and so it goes on and on… until we choose otherwise.
Yes Rachel I can see ‘that shutting the gate to hurt shuts it equally to love and sacredness’. What a sadness this is, thank you.
As a read your comment Julie I felt that could the fact that we allow this abuse, however small, be the underlying cause of our chronic stress, tension and exhaustion?
So beautiful to return to this, you have written this profound truth in so much tenderness, something we all are dying to get back to but don’t know how. But really its just a choice, a choice to simply be who we truly are and nothing less.
Yes we all want to love and be loved in the tenderness we know we come from. We believe we do not know how to do this but actually we do know we are just choosing not to.
What a different world when men and women are able to hold each other in this equalising light, showing a true way to be in relation with another, and then all others.
I facilitated a workshop at a boys boarding school yesterday about being a man and gender equality. What I found in the group of 26 thirteen year old boys was how they were at the threshold of holding onto their tenderness, their sweetness and feeling like they had to conform to the way men are expected to be – tough, hard and impenetrable. Some of the boys were sitting on each other’s laps and it was really lovely to see the intimacy in their interaction. If only we could hold onto to a semblance of that, we would change the heart of what it means to be a man. It is never too late though, for I know lots of grown men who have surrendered to their tenderness and reclaimed themselves, me included.
Beautiful Jinya, your descriptions of the intimacy between the young boys is indeed touching and reminds me of the purity in their voices when they sing at that age just before the voice breaks. It feels like this is a pivotal moment for boys on the threshold of puberty and the enormous external and internal pressures that brings. I am sure having a tender man like you to offer another reflection is something that will make an imprint in those boys who are open to it. It is value without words to offer them another way of being a man.
This is gorgeous Jinya and has reminded me how natural it is t be intimate with others, not always with physical touch, but with an openness and tenderness like you have shared. Divine
I read it now for the second time and can deeply feel its’ importance for men and women in the world. Very sacred and powerful and so true.
It is our responsibility as men and women through the inspiration we have received from the Benhayons and the way of the livingness to return to where we are innately from. For most of us, this is not an overnight thing as the past hurts run very deep and it is probably the oldest catch 22, where mens fear of rejection leads to him not holding the woman in the sacredness she deserves so she then starts to lead a guarded and measured life and things just snowball on a cycle getting farther away from where we are meant to be.
Absolutely Lisa Hansberry, if a woman does not take this road, a woman true to herself she will be indeed. A true livingness woman, living from her divine essence. A priceless and amazing gift for all.
It is a crime how we live not knowing intimately the beauty that lies within.
Growing up I had been instilled with the roles men and women were meant to fill and that was just the way it has always been. Grow up, get married, work hard, have kids, grow old and pay taxes and die… that was our path that awaited us. I never once heard the word equal anything, even at meal times the man got the lions share of food because he was the bread winner. The wife was pageant, barefoot and chained to the cooker was the other stereotype. Love was nice but not required in this process and the only tenderness was the steak the man was having for dinner. We all have the ability to wipe out the draconian ways of the past and bring back the equality, tenderness and love we have always been
It’s kind of like in the work place. You do the same thing over and over for years because this is what you learnt and do. Then someone new comes into the office and asks why don’t you do it this way? The new way is easier and takes less time and you wonder why you haven’t been doing it this way all along. Just like your comment Steve, we have been doing the same thing for a long time and then the Benhayons came along and presented a different way. An easier way and a more loving way.
And so it is Jade. The more precious I feel within myself the more I feel it towards others and they feel it back too, and then going deeper becomes the natural thing to do.
I also feel the sadness of the forgotten sacredness, I feel the urge to dedicate deeply to it – ‘as it is meant to be’.
I have been like this in relationships too Natalie, defensive and trying to prove myself, and I would add to it that I have been trying to hide in relationships, demanding, pushing them away and yet being needy and emotional, moody and confused, wanting there to be more than I know is there, wanting the future to be fairy tale illusion, wanting to get more than I give, fantasies, no real communication and no real commitment from myself. What a mess, and that is how they always turned out. Thank you to Universal Medicine for showing me there is another way, and that relationships are a commitment to self first, and they really can be amazing.
I love what you say here Helen, the ripple effect, ‘but it will make a difference to the other person and myself’, and this does change the world. In that moment your lives are both changed by the presence of love, this then ripples out and literally changes the world.
A beautiful expression that builds a bridge for all men to walk over, coming to a part of themselves that innately nurtures their true selves, and thence inspires all around them
This is a beautifully deep blog with so much wisdom. It would certainly sort out all the worlds major problems if we were all shown from birth how to cherish each other with pure love that we all deserve and rid ourselves of all the emotional games we tend to play with each other by not letting each other in fully.
Yet, we know it is possible and it is important to never underestimate the power we have when we start to see our worth, When we live less than who we are already abusive to ourselves. Connecting to our sacredness (which is also in men) is honouring how life is meant to be, as you say too Katerina.
I agree, Susan, we have started to be guarded in our relationships in order not to be hurt. In the same way we claim we love one another. But these two attitudes are not going together. Either the one or the other.
It is interesting that we look to another to treat us with the tenderness we are and deserve and yet we live in a world where we do not treat ourselves or others with what we desire. The responsibility lies with us to first connect to and honour this in us and then another, ensuring we do not allow or settle for anything less, ever.
This is very true Samantha, the responsibility lies with us because how we treat ourselves will be how we allow another to treat us.
So true Sam
Wow now this is something that should be handed out with birth certificates as part of a contract. Knowing that this is what is needed and for this to happen you only need to do nothing but be All of who you are. The honouring of both Woman and Men that cannot be ignored and thanks to this blog and Serge Benhayon’a Wow imagine if every family worked on this formula – no emotions, no reactions, no issues and if they were to arise as no one is perfect ask you say Eunice the issue is brought to the family, dealt with Love and restored back to harmony. This would change the dynamics in which we all communicated with each other. What an amazing example of a way of living that is not about individualisation but togetherness. we get a greater understanding
I love your beautiful and tender comment Katerina. It inspires us all to accept the responsibility that we all have to honour our deep and divine sacredness and thereby confirm this. In so doing we are not only giving ourselves a blessing as this expands and becomes a great and wonderful gift we can offer to everyone as we touch their lives. This is truly living in harmony.
‘Men have the ability to hold women in the light they truly are, knowing the beauty they bring to life. When a man holds a woman or girl in all the preciousness she is, the world benefits, as men can confirm and support women in a way that is specific to men.’
This is profound, beautiful and if considered to its full extent, word changing.
That sacredness you speak of and i have witnessed in many women in my life is the game changer. Its holds the word in a different stead and we are missing it terribly.
Indeed we all are missing it terribly Simon and we keep it at bay all because we see the situation or person as being responsible for something that we need at that time. If we just stopped for a moment within the tension, we would feel that nothing is actually asked of us, just for us to be still and know us in that open true moment. Then the next expression to come forth would be one of realness and love, after all, that is what’s left when all else is moved to the side and that extraordinary love and grace that is a constant forever support.
That is so true Julie – ‘nothing is actually asked of us’ – there is nothing quite so beautiful as that moment when we hold ourselves in grace and love and express from that moment. It can seemingly be a very small gesture of love but when shared with another reaches deep within and the souls come together and unite in this exquisite experience where no words are necessary. How blessed we are when we can be fully aware in these magical moments.
This sentence you pointed out Simon, resonates very deeply as we both men and women have the responsibility to hold and cherish each other and the qualities we bring. It is so much easier if we truly reflect these to each other.
Simply and beautifully stated. Thank you!
Emily that’s been such a stop for me in reading this beautiful blog… I always thought I was shy but now realise I was in contraction in my expression of my sacredness as a woman and thus not reflecting that to men so they could be their tender, gentle and vulnerable selves. So harsh to realise the protection and hurts I was covering up and the total lack of appreciation for myself as a woman… Ouch
Yes, and what a gorgeous responsibility this is to say yes to. How can this be seen as a heavy chore, the way that we have misinterpreted responsibility to be…
A beautifully revealing blog – I love that you identify that we have over time developed a belief in relationships that there cannot be true harmony – this in turn only leads to the creation of arrangements within them so that the tensions does not escalate. Your understanding clearly shows the way in which men and women living in connection to themselves will live beautifully together and the immense benefits to all of this. Thank you.
“When a woman is not held for all the beauty she is when around a man or being physically intimate with a man, she is accepting abuse – it is an abuse that runs so deep that it leads her choice not to let men in fully, in case this form of abuse comes around again. She starts to live a guarded and measured life.” – so very true.
Woah! Way to take it to the next level Caroline – A big call that needs to be heard by many ears and a conversation that needs to be had by many mouths. We are living in a world where the accepted ‘norm’ is based on abuse and protection – protecting ourselves from hurts and covering up our sadness from not being met for who we are as children with a vengeful rage. I truly love what you have stated..’ Left in our true essence un-tampered with there would be no violence, war or any form of abuse in our world.’ Here here.
It is beautiful to feel how you raise your boys with this love and equalises Kate. Not many mums these days are open to truly meeting their boys for who they truly are and this is part of why men grow up to not naturally honour a woman in her sacredness and beauty.
This is so lovely Brendan that I felt to read your comment over and over, bringing a warmth to my heart. Such tender and powerful words, and so true. Recognising, and accepting, the qualities that each can bring is half way to living in harmony because in essence we are all the same anyway, to it just makes sense doesn’t it!
What is being exposed her is the very different relationships that are possible from the normal ‘dog eat dog’ way of living that many couples experience, even where there may be no actual physical abuse but there is a constant barrage of criticism, complete lack of respect for the other partner, mistrust, non-communication and certainly very little tenderness. What we see in the many relationships where the man lives his tenderness and the woman is connected to her sacredness is an inspiring connection and a deep love that extends to all of humanity.
Yes Carmel, and having been witness to some couples that do have this quality, where the man is in his tenderness and the woman lives her sacredness, it is absolutely exquisite to behold. This is when a relationship is not just for the two people in relationship, but for everyone else as well, as we all get to be inspired so deeply and beautifully by what is possible in a relationship — and very importantly, not to settle for something less than that.
I too like you Joseph Barker have come to see these kinds of relationships between men and women since starting to attend Universal Medicine events, and have personally felt the true tenderness and care that a man can hold you in. We each are worthy of this absolute respect and loving care of each other and it begins with our own choice to do so with ourselves first and then accept nothing less than our own loving benchmark.
Reading this blog I can sense the enormous responsibility we have as both man and woman to live with each other in harmony. How small things, like not holding each other for the precious beings we are innately, have a huge effect. I know how to hold someone in this preciousness and how it feels to be held in this preciousness and it is the most beautiful thing there is and it forms the foundation for a true relationship.
I generally find it easier to express my tenderness with women more than I do with men. I am working on this, because it’s not about our sex but about being human beings, sons of God – all equally loving and lovable even though some may have thick walls made of iron reinforced concrete; there is a tenderness within us all. Breaking my wall down is helping me to let people in and appreciate people more. You can know all the people in the world, but you would still feel separated if we don’t let people in, which takes tenderness for oneself and others.
It is so deeply essential, what you are writing about here – thank you for writing with love and lightness and nominating with appreciation. I can relate to everything you write, it is something I am experiencing and fathoming: “Women have a sacredness within that is so powerful and holding of all life but if a woman allows abuse in her life (no matter how seemingly insignificant) she loses touch with her ability to identify abuse and completely wipes out any connection to her sacredness.” In my experience it is a key as a woman to realize and feel where I have allowed abuse in my life, as my body has stored everything and tells me all the time about it, until I am listening. My willingness to feel and let go can be deeply supported and in a way supplemented through being held in love and appreciation from a man. Healing the energy and impact of any abuse in that way, to come back to the connection to the sacredness for both, women and men.
Beautifully said Sharon how can we expect to be treated with respect and honoured for our own sensitivity and tenderness when we do not hold ourselves in this way.
Indeed Anna the more we can cherish each other for this tenderness that we are and not pull each other down the more loving and intimate our relationships can become.
Yes, Simon this ‘blame game’ is long overdue. I know I have done this for a long time but this blog shows the responsibility of both genders to ourselves and each other.
It is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I have ever read on the true beauty of men and of women and of our roles.
What universal intelligence that we can support each other through connecting to their essence! This is true brotherhood – when we feel and honor the essence of another we support them to feel and re-connect to their quality – holding another in their essence reflects to them who they truly are.
This is how men and women were meant to be, when our every choice is a step towards the harmony you have described, all the ills of humanity can be healed.
Carolien, I love your comment that anything that is not honouring of who we truly are is by all means abuse. This seems far from what I used to think abuse was but the more I now honour myself in all I do the more I can feel what is not honouring is in truth abusive.
When you consider that we are the living consciousness of God then it’s easy to see how not honouring that could be seen as abusive. We are God already, if we categorised abuse to be anything that prevented us from feeling the truth of that, then it would, to me, make sense.
I can feel my responsibility concerning this quote…”Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.” So often issues, hurts and past experience impact on how we relate to other people and ourselves. Considering holding ourselves and all who we meet in a ‘knowing’ of love first, changes everything.
This blog was beautiful, I couldn’t agree more the responsibility we have as women to hold ourselves in all of our sacredness has a huge impact on men and vice versa it is equally as important for them to hold us in that. It goes both ways, great blog.
Yes, being love in all relationships. A love that can be endlessly deep if only we let go of conventions and ideals and open up for truly sharing the tenderness and true care that is our natural way of living.
If this is true, which it is, then there is a lot of healing to be done in the world with regards to how we treat both ourselves and each other. Reading this I could also feel how currently we living far away from the truth of who we really are.
This is a good point Stephen as if there is anything said around support it is usually either for women and sometimes for men but very little discussion around the support they can offer each and their part in this support in a relationship.
Ben, what a beautiful sharing and I can really feel your tenderness and sensitivity in your expression. The women you will have in your life will be able to feel these qualities in you and what you will bring them will be exquisitely loving.
That is so true Sally – as women we have a deep and forever unfolding responsibility to honour ourselves and to allow the world to appreciate the grace and dignity of holding our body in love and with purpose.
It is so great as man to feel the sacredness of a women Ben, and it is even more beautiful when I as a man can hold women in my love, in appreciation of their sacredness, as this is a natural expression from the natural tenderness I am. The sacredness that women carry has to be honoured and glorified as this will help to restore true love on earth again.
Great point, Beverley: we women need to make sure that we eradicate any and all forms of self abuse within our lives, even the tiniest overriding of honouring why we feel to do, in order for men to be able to honour us in precisely the same way. It’s a very delicate balance to live this way but we do have the inspiration and reflection of people like the Benhayon family and each other as we develop back into our selves.
I couldn’t resist coming back to this blog again. It’s a beautiful reminder of how relationships can be and how we are able to hold one another “The hurt and pain women feel when they allow themselves to be held in a less than absolutely precious way, runs deep and affects her in all areas of her life.” We rob ourselves of living by our very nature when the world remains ignorant of these key truths.
Beautiful blog. How often do we hear the words to cherish or behold someone in our society? I never hear anyone talk about cherishing or beholding even though this blog highlights the importance of it. It seems we have a lot to explore and learn here.
Yes, I agree Vicky – when I first read your comment I could feel that the words ‘cherishing or beholding’ were quite old fashioned – or out of fashion and that has only come about because we no longer use them. Is this because we have come so far away from these words being part of our livingness that we can no longer relate to the word. Life nowadays is so fast that we do not give ourself the time to behold and cherish – or is that an illusion we have been fed as we can always find time to do what we really want to do! Today I will take time to behold and cherish myself.
I too love the reflection of what a true relationship is from Universal Medicine. Growing up we almost learn to be in relationship is to be on guard, to do what needs to be done and have great moments every now and then but there is no consistency or most importantly love or true appreciation in this.
The fact is, we’re taught how to be in relationships by people who are already on guard themselves and so stand little hope of learning how to be in transparent and intimate relationships with all others.
I agree, there is much within this blog and one I love to revisit.
Acceptance is a huge key. I agree. The more tenderness and delicateness I feel, I then have to feel and choose to accept and claim it and of course live that depth.
How beautiful for us all to surrender and appreciate this tender delicateness within ourselves and each other.
So true Johanna if I am not allowing and appreciating the actual tenderness and sacredness within me it means that I am beating myself up in some way. Self-acceptance and acceptance is an allowing for me which relieves this critical pressure of having to be someone else.
Beautifully expressed , Johanna08.smith. To surrender to the tenderness , we already are, is the key to not allow abuse anymore.
‘Many women and men are being misled by the belief that they cannot be in a consistently stable relationship that is based on equality, respect and support, which creates a true union with each other. It is as if we have simply ruled out the possibility that such relationships are possible.’ This is a very sad reality. From this perspective it is almost not imaginable that one can build that kind of loving relationship. But we also have to be aware that we have to work on what we have neglected for so long. This means, if I want to have a clean and lovely house, I need to bring out the bin and start clearing and cleaning it. Getting rid of clutter. So too our relationships may need a clear up and re-ordering.
When you read this blog, there is no doubt that we are all divine in our expression when we choose to live from our love deep within us. Men would be embracing their natural innate sweet tenderness and care and women would be embracing their delicate beauty and sacredness. Our world would be a very different place.
Ariana, thank you for sharing your power in what you have written and I am aware we all have this power to let go of our measuring and share our amazing love with the men we have in our lives. To allow the tenderness and adoration of a man was quite scary in the beginning but you know I am letting it in more and more, just surrender to the essence of a man and my own essence and I am learning so much.
I am inspired to think about mothers raising their daughters and sons to appreciate the sacredness, inner beauty and tenderness that we naturally are.
I too now have a sense of what it means to live more consistently in loving relationships and while the high and lows may disappear the deepening of joy that is there is very beautiful and way more fulfilling.
I totally agree Victoria for the need to hold ourselves and others for the absolute preciousness that we are, and that this is the path to healing the abuse.
Wow! This blog. What an expression. For sure confirms a way of being within my intimate relationship, but resonates on all levels to how I will live all relationships. Very moving.
“If a woman allows abuse in her life (no matter how seemingly insignificant) she loses touch with her ability to identify abuse and completely wipes out any connection to her sacredness”. This line hits the nail on the head. I know within myself when I have allowed abuse I immediately disconnect from the loveliness of me and I then go into defence mode which is a far cry from being in my sacredness. I am finding the more I say ‘”no” to abuse, I am honouring the beauty of me as a woman.
We are shown this needy, conditional life all around us. In the movies, in the tabloids, in relationships everywhere. It is only by having witnessed true love without needs or boundaries, alongside a connectedness to ones inner sacredness, as lived by the Benhayon family, that I now know for myself there is another way.
Interesting observation Stephen – and your’e right, there is plenty being written about the abuse in relationships (and always at the extreme fringes) but this blog brings the concept of abuse into a much tighter focus while also providing a clear example of the alternative… a relationship between men and women that is filled with love. We need more of this out there in the world.
I do agree, instead of writing about what is not working and trying to find ways to undo this, we need simple examples of how to live a life with love and respect for each other. No more theories but real and lived examples.
It all boils down to the care that we take of our physical bodies. Care meaning how we practically support ourselves in all that we do, the level of nourishment, of honouring of cherishing, because when we practice these things with our bodies then caring and loving others becomes a natural by product. Nothing to be taught or shown because love is there already, it comes to the fore when we cherish our bodies and has an intelligence of it’s own.
This comment stood out for me too, and yes it leads to a guarded and measured life, whereby we do not trust. Time to break this cycle and bring back our sacredness.
I’ll second that, Gina! And we all, both men and women, must learn to recognise what is abuse, and not settle for less than love for either ourselves or from another.
We are sacred beings. Both men and women carry sacredness in their bodies. But we often do not choose to connect to it. As a result of our dis-connection, we relate to ourselves and others in ways that make sure that the sacredness connection will be very difficult. We do not honour ourselves and others as sacred beings. We all have a massive opportunity that is just waiting us. The truth is that we will not move forward as race if we do not go there.
This is very true Susie, ‘Men and women have totally shut down from their own sensitivity, and you can see how in recent times women in particular have become evidently ‘harder’ and more protected’, I definitely see this, it is so common for women to think that it’s important to be tough and hard and not sweet and sensitive, even though the sweetness and sensitivity is clearly who they are and the hardness and toughness is a cover up.
This is so true Lieke, even on TV or in a movie it is rare to see relationships where there is no drama, no issues and no separation. Just complete Love and equality amongst each other. This is not just possible in our relationships with our partners but also with our friends, family, colleagues, everyone in fact and is something we can choose to live by holding each other in our hearts and speaking and interacting from this place.
Yes Joshua there was nowhere where we could go and this is why I feel so inspired when I see the awesome relationship that we are offered as a reflection by Serge and Miranda Benhayon and the whole Benhayon family. They have given us all role models where we can begin to understand ‘true love’ as it is how they live their lives in every detail of the love that they are. We now all have an amazing opportunity to embrace a loving relationship with love for ourselves.
Growing up and through my twenties I always had a struggle to know myself as a man. I knew society’s version which I tried to mould myself into, but it just made me angry and withdrawn. Understanding my tenderness has been the way in for me to know what a man is. Essentially there is very little difference between a man and a woman, except for the obvious physical attributes. There is a a great deal of beauty in the different ways we express. For men, their tenderness is the key to expressing from their hearts. Not in a soft nicey nicey way. But in a way that is strong, resilient and caring.
Jinya, thank you so very much for your beautiful strong essence. I feel your truth and your struggling; so much so that I feel that your words have disturbed a discomfort within myself that I have quietly been ignoring for many a long year! I feel a discomfort in my own body which has always brought to me unwanted attention. Now that I have realised this, I can like you, learn to appreciate my own tenderness which has until now paled into insignificance when combined with my courage and survival techniques. With love, Maggie
I loved reading your comment Jinya and feeling the tenderness you are and live. Thank you.
Very powerful Jinya, giving men permission all around the world to be in their tenderness. There are so many crimes against humanity today, and the obvious ones we talk about daily but we forget the greatest one of all, robbing a man of his innate tenderness and preciousness. If we did not do that all the other crimes against humanity, war, rape, genocide, etc. would be unable to exist in a world where everyone knew how truly tender and precious they are.
I really enjoyed the clarity and purity of this article. It relates so much appreciation concerning true potential in relationships between men and women, which can often misinterpreted and degraded in society. There is potential for true love to be shared when we honour one another’s true quality.
That call to look in ‘our own backyards’, to be honest about our part in everything, is an essential first step to claiming back from blame the awesome, sweet responsibility we have in the world.
Thank you Ariana, I love what you shared. Absolute beauty!
What a beautiful blog, thank you
Yes Brooke, I was struck by a similar thing… to allow even the smallest abuse is to say no to that sacredness. What is beautiful is that in that connection to the depth of beauty and sacredness we are, comes the natural discernment of what is abusive… we just have to learn how to say no to this, and not just in the way others might treat us, but in the way we treat ourselves.
We are love before we are anything else. Love did not leave the world, we left love. Our path back is seeing this love in others no matter if they are not living it, as it is our responsibility to live the love that we are so that others remember – we are love first before we are anything else.
Strong words, Liane, and absolute truth. When something comes between us and another person and we start to distance from each other – then the only way is connect to that love we are and we know we are.
Oh Liane, absolutely gorgeous and totally needed. Your call to be the love we are is deeply felt – this is true purpose and a quote I want where I can see it throughout the day…’Our path back is seeing this love in others no matter if they are not living it…’ tears to my eyes and eagerness to my heart.
That blows away any thinking that we need to somehow ‘get’ to love when we are already simply are it! We just need to live it as it is there within us. That’s why choosing to be love is actually very simple.
Thank you Liane…this takes away all the ‘doing’ in life and makes it all about ‘being’ – being the love we innately are and always have been.
“We are to hold each other in this equalising light and not allow any gesture, look or thought to interfere with our ability to connect with such innocent purity”……it is that level of detail isn’t it that is required. To commit to that purity and not let anything interfere with it.
“To commit to that purity and not let anything interfere with it”. Our relationships are so previous and we know it. Being able to truly see what is interfering has been key for me. We are set up from so many angles to battle and use force, subversion and manipulation thinking we are getting what we want when in fact it couldn’t be further from the truth.
Beautifully said Paula Steffensen, the power of what we can share and develop as a humanity is infinate – it is up to us to take the responsibilty.
Yes Rebecca, I too have fallen for this! And even when reading this blog I was like ‘Ok.. I can see that it is possible for some… but not for me…!’ – I could feel all of the compromise I have allowed and still feel I could allow!! What I feel is important here is that the sacredness is always there waiting for us to connect with it, and when we are living from this place we will not accept compromise.
Sometimes men are very quick to give compliments and tell us how beautiful we are . That’s cool but when these comments come from a man who is not caring for himself and not truly in touch with himself they are then empty of that care and that in-touchness. When we are needy we might choose to ignore this knowing and pretend to ourselves that we feel good in receiving these compliments. The more we care for ourselves the more we can feel our own innate beauty and the neediness diminishes and allows us to be more honest with ourselves.
I agree Marietta the photo speaks for itself, there is such tenderness and love that emanates between the couple shown.
‘Men are so very tender and deserve to be honored and held in this light right from birth to the point of passing over. To allow men to be anything but this tender sweet person is to rob both men and women of the love our world is crying out for.’ To be with a man who discovers his tenderness is allowing myself to feel how precious I am and to allow to embrace my beauty for all to see.
Well said Gina, in this day we often see abuse as being something that is expressed or done to us, when actually abuse is simply the absence of love
What a responsibility we have! Yes. The responsibility to not allow any gesture or what does lower us. And by observing me and life I found this gestures everywhere. In me and in others. Against ourselves and others. So it is quite a job to wipe out those gestures of our lifes. And I asked myself: Where does it start? Why do we lower ourselves and others? For my feeling it comes from a lack of appreciation for what I am, who we all are and what we hold and bring. So: time to appreciate again. Deeply so. – What a job!
As men, our relationships with women and other men have always been dictated by fulfilling each other’s needs. Both sides know deep down this is not the truth of us, so we get hurt then go into protection, and the cycle continues, accepting it as the only way it could ever be. In my life and in that of other men that I know, I have witnessed changes that show another way. That once we take responsibility for fulfilling our own emptinesses, our relationships improve immeasurably. It is clearly a part of the process of humanity coming to a oneness, from where we have strayed but know is our origin that we deeply crave.
I have been feeling lately the responsibility of myself as a woman in holding the love that I feel within myself for everyone. Specifically, I have been feeling how what we hold in ourselves, is what we have reflected in the quality of energy in our homes and for our families. I have felt the impact and influence this can have in my workplace too.
I have felt that too Simone, especially within family and close friends. It is lovely to behold and I continue to work on holding this steady more and more.
It is sad to see we have lived in a way that has robbed us all of the tenderness and sacredness that both men and women hold within them, It sure is on the rise due to the extraordinary work Serge Benhayon has taught , shared and inspired in so many.
I agree Jaime. There is a groundswell of change occurring. I have talked with many men outside of the esoteric student community who have commented also that toughness is not the truth of what men are and that expressing our feelings is medicine for both sexes.
What a different world we would live in if men and women were to hold themselves and one another in absolute tenderness, preciousness and honoring.
The abuse and conflict and wars that go on in the world, all come from the way we all are in our homes and with our families and friends, we all have a responsibility for our part in the whole.
Jo, I love your comment, and yes, it is truly astounding how far we have strayed from the divineness we are as women and men. To re-introduce the honouring of who we truly are and to treat ourselves and each other with the love and tenderness we all crave, as this is what and where we come from all along.
I agree Mariette, the photo is simply gorgeous. A man and woman honouring one another.
And the palpable intimacy between the man and the woman is exquisite, they feel energetically bound together.
Yes, it is very sad when a women is not honoured for the true women she is. It hurts and crushes us inside. More and more I feel men are opening up to the fact that they must treat women with the respect and honouring they deserve and can live by. A women living this way demonstrates and radiates the true beauty for all the world to see who she is.
I too am deeply inspired and especially love the truth of these words. ‘Men have the ability to hold women in the light they truly are, knowing the beauty they bring to life. When a man holds a woman or girl in all the preciousness she is, the world benefits’
This is another one of those blogs that needs to be on the front pages of every newspaper so that mankind can begin to ponder and understand how we are living far away from our truth.
I love this Alison and so agree, “All we have to do as women is to hold this preciousness, express it at every moment and not be swayed by old patterns and expectations that have held us back for life times.” Expectations bring such dis-ease into any relationship… I have just felt the full whammy of how it feels to be running with expectations and to have expectations coming at me as well. They so get in the way of truly connecting with another.
Very powerful piece of writing. It exposes how much abuse is tolerated and acted out in society. How much do we tolerate or dish out to others? The other way, the way of true equality that you express feels so true and I am left knowing that we are all absolutely responsible for how we choose to relate to others and ourselves.
Beautiful Rachel, it is very much a dance that has been played for a very long time…. a dance of who is going to be the one to show or be love first and then the other will come out and truly be themselves. With all the guardedness no one wins and everyone loses out on true relationships with themselves and each other, and truly seeing the magnificence in the other sex and what they bring.
‘The hurt and pain women feel when they allow themselves to be held in a less than absolutely precious way, runs deep and affects her in all areas of her life.’ I have lived like that for a long time and I am learning now to hold myself first and allow myself to be held by others second, including my Father. I lived protecting myself from men for most of my life, silly for I can feel their caring quality and if I allow them to hold me the majority of men naturally will.
The question that comes to mind when I read this blog is, why has society been allowed to get to a point where sensitivity and tenderness are words associated solely with weakness…. Since when was being a ‘hard nut’ or a ‘tough cookie’ the norm? To me the one behaviour that has grown alongside our ‘toughness’ is comparison – we seem to always be competing with someone for something; trying to be the best.. And in this day and age to be the ‘best’ and the top dog, particularly in business – you are seen to have to be quite arrogant and not afraid to step on others toes on the way up.
It is the hurts that get in the way between a man and a woman that suffocate the chance of living with the sacredness and tenderness that is the essence of a man and a woman, deal with the hurts and the beauty of a relationship instantly comes to life.
I am starting to re-learn about sacredness – what it is, what it feels like and where it resides, and how to start to live from this place. My connection to sacredness has been absent for a long time and the result has very much been about abuse on all sorts of levels. If I do not first and foremost honour myself as a woman, I’m fundamentally detached from myself, from my true power source. And I’m unable to put a halt to instances of abuse as and when they occur. As women, we have dropped the ball big time. We are responsible for so much.
‘To allow men to be anything but this tender sweet person is to rob both men and women of the love our world is crying out for.’ The wiser I get the more I see there is little difference between men and women other than the obvious physiological differences: both are sensitive, delicate and gorgeous, much like the infants we all once were. All too soon we knock these qualities out of our boys and men, and today, women follow suit in their efforts to achieve ‘equality’. Reclaiming our natural tenderness is a priority for men and women both.
The dilemma described herein for women (and men, and the world) is spot on. Not knowing love, or not holding love as a constant, opens the door to abuse. We’re getting used to the word abuse and connect it to instances of domestic violence, killer punches outside the pub and paedophilia. But abuse starts long before an act of physical violence and in far more subtle ways. The sacredness women hold needs to be reignited and lived if we are to truly put a halt to what we see around us.
Yes a deep and big thanks to Serge for leading this way.
I love this part if your comment Victoria ‘For those of us who have been abused in any manner, to hold each other in such preciousness is absolutely sacrosanct’ because it is the reality. We have all been hurt in some way or another yet we all have the power and choice to hold ourselves in this preciousness and also each other – so forth the change will come.
I was too- very moved by the preciousness of this blog and can relate to living in a way of not letting men in from the guards I had erected from not being held in the preciousness I know I am. This is very muchly part of an unfolding for me, as is honouring my delicateness and the tenderness of men too.
I love what you say Johanna08.smith and it is much an unfolding for me too, a very beautiful one that allows me to feel and express more of me and allow myself to be held more and more by others.
Well said, Susan. This exposes how important it is for us to look at our relationships and make sure that we open to love in the first place rather than playing out old patterns. What a waste it is to shut out the world, denying ourselves and each other of true intimacy, just because we are protecting a hurt that may have happened years or lifetimes ago.
Beautifully written, ‘This is what true relationships is about and how men and women have an equal responsibility in deeply honouring each other’, this makes me realise how far away relationships have come from being true relationships of honouring each other, this is something that I rarely see or hear about.
Yes what a contrast to read about true relationships where others are held and honoured in absolute equalness and tenderness.
It time for women and men to stop being what we are not and to feel the amazingness of what we all hold within ourselves. Women’s sacredness and men’s tenderness when it is expressed is the best way to melt even the coldest heart.
Hear,hear, Steve, time to be fully who we are in truth.
And humanity is desperately waiting for us to take the lead to live the sacred and precious beings we are. To reflect all that we are.
Re reading this blog this morning this is the line that stood out for me – “Women have a sacredness within that is so powerful and holding of all life but if a woman allows abuse in her life (no matter how seemingly insignificant) she loses touch with her ability to identify abuse and completely wipes out any connection to her sacredness.” I can relate to allowing just the slightest amount of abuse to go under the radar and although it seems so insignificant at the time, how it stops me in my tracks and I disconnect from the beauty of me as a woman and in turn I harden up and go into protection. Of course men then react to this protection and the cycle continues.
Yes, Donna I agree – it might be so minute (the abuse), and I might try to ignore it, but it immediately takes me out of my sacredness.
Donna this is very true – both men and women react to us when we are in protection, it is a very uninviting and separative energy we offer our surroundings when we toughen up and harden our bodies.
Thank you Donna for highlighting the passage honouring a woman’s sacredness. In particular the line ‘no matter how seemingly insignificant’ as it brings great emphasis to the level of attention we need to pay in the way that we so often disregard these ‘seemingly insignificant’ moments. I know that I am constantly delaying things even if it is momentary and they are building up in me a momentum of raciness that is not supporting my life. I often find myself saying ‘let me just finish this’ and while it is good to have completion I also need to be more aware of the bigger picture of what is happening, such as am I trying to squeeze too many things into my day that only honours the doing but does nothing for the being.
Thank you Bernard. It is heartwarming to read a man’s comment about what it feels like to be in the presence of women who are reconnecting to their innate sacredness and the warmth and strength of their love that can be felt. It is true that in humanity we have many steps to take before we reach true equality, and as you said, respect and common decency are sadly lacking, and this is a starting point for humanity.
Spot on Emily, lack of self worth is a big culprit here. Until we re-connect with our body and feel the gorgeous essence of our divine being, and can then feel it in others as well, we won’t know how naturally sweet, tender, cherishable we all are. And then it will be… “lack of self worth? What lack of self worth?”
Yes Michelle it’s like 2 pieces of a puzzle that fit together, each one showing the other the part that is missing to make it whole again.
These days I recognise a sweet tenderness in nearly every man I meet, hidden under the facade they present to the world. I speak to the tenderness in the man not the false part and sometimes he responds back from his tenderness, awkwardly somewhat but confirming he can go there when he is being cherished by the other person he is interacting with.
I see a lot of men at the gym and even under their abundant muscles or athleticised leanness there is apparent the tender man. That man is easier to see in those men who are at the gym because they don’t yet look like the ‘ideal’ – it is there in their vulnerability and anxiety. It would be far more supportive for all if we dropped the need to look a certain way and just went there to exercise and enjoy our bodies, however they are. I love going there, hair and makeup looking lovely, and going through my paces without grunting, straining or even sweating. It challenges the status quo very nicely and demonstrates exercise doesn’t have to be about abuse.
When something is delivered in truth and love and you are ready to hear it, the guard or protection can not be present. It is very gorgeous indeed.
I agree Samantha. This just really exposes how much abuse I may have received and have chosen to inflict upon others simply by using harshness, disregard and disconnection. ‘anything less than love is abuse’.
That is indeed gorgeous Felix. The message (and energy) that is delivered with this blog is tremendously powerful and invites you right back into your sacred essence.
This is the key to stepping into our true power: “Our responsibility to each other is to truly connect to the precious beauty we are within and not allow anything to come before this knowing and way of being.” To live life from this place is one of love, joy, stillness, harmony and truth.
I can only say: your expression has touched my heart, it is one gem after another. When I have accepted abuse, I have disconnected to my sacredness straight away. And the pain runs so deep that affects all areas of my life. Yes, we all have a responsibility to hold ourselves and others equally in respect and love. And yes, the world desperately needs this healing. It is a blessing for us all that you have come to this understanding (thanks to Serge Benhayon) and that anyone and everyone who starts living this in their lives are planting the seeds for a new way on the earth.
I love this Felix- “I feel invited to be me.” How freeing isn’t it, when we can feel this and then be it too.
Me too Julie, it is so lovely to read and feel, will return often I can sense …
Bernard, your writing is sacred and I can feel the honouring you hold for women and everyone with every word you write. Thank you.
This was a show stopper for me. I stopped to feel the abuse I have been allowing, the subtle and the not so subtle.
Yes, this blog does expose the levels of abuse we allow in our lives. And then I am not talking about the obvious forms of abuse but like you share Sally, the not so subtle forms of abuse that we don’t even consider to be abuse as we think it is normal.
This blog is absolute GOLD. It holds the key to successful loving relationships and a more loving world. If everyone were cherished in the way you describe we would be more evolved as a human race. First step is to cherish ourselves in this way, and then we will not accept anything less from anyone else.
It is great that we now have a role model of a woman fully living in her sacredness Bernard, ‘Natalie Benhayon is the epitome of a woman living this sacredness in modern times’. Many women have been inspired to reconnect to their sacredness through her inspiration.
Yes. I agree JY. This one stopped me in my tracks too. I instantly felt the deep beauty it was written from, so much so that I put it away for a moment when I had the time to really read all it had to say.
It was also confronting and made me ask- do I honour myself to that depth?
This is true. Any acceptance of being less is abuse.
I agree. Deeply confirming.
We have all felt what a miracle it is when a child is born, it is easy to feel that a baby is tender precious, and sacred. Many parents change their lifestyle, give up alcohol cigarettes and partying because they know their child is pure love and they have to be more responsible to meet that love. The sacred tenderness of a baby can melt anyone out of any hard or defensive exterior to become more naturally themselves. When does a baby loose that? Why do we stop treating people with the love they deserve? Because we have been hurt and adults can hurt me but babies cannot? There should be no difference in the quality we treat babies, children, adults, or our elderly. Men and women equally, every communication is sacred because life is sacred.
Lovely Bernard, you raise some great points for reflection, ‘The sacred tenderness of a baby can melt anyone out of any hard or defensive exterior to become more naturally themselves. When does a baby lose that?’ and, ‘Why do we stop treating people with the love they deserve? Because we have been hurt and adults can hurt me but babies cannot?’ True, it is our responsibility to be love equally with all.
Beautifully shared, Bernard. Life is sacred indeed, because we are all unique expressions of God no matter what gender, age or race we are.
Yes Bernard, beautiful expressed, a baby is tender precious and sacred and their gender is never what brings this through, men and women are equal. When we make our gender our identity with all the ideals and believes that comes with this identity we all loose and abuse each other.
Bernard what a tender expression, and it makes so much sense to continue the loving ways and considerations we put in place around a baby. It would be miracle indeed if we embraced as our natural way the divine reflections we receive and become around a baby.
Yes this blog is incredibly powerful and impacting.
This is beautiful and I know it is true..”Women have a sacredness within that is so powerful and holding of all life but if a woman allows abuse in her life (no matter how seemingly insignificant) she loses touch with her ability to identify abuse and completely wipes out any connection to her sacredness.” It is important to ponder how much abuse I am allowing for myself, down to the simplest things, almost imperceptible.
I agree Marcia – I plan on spreading this far and wide. A profound message to the world.
And for a girl to grow up being held in and with preciousness, adoration and utmost tender love brings forth a woman in her glory, stunning power and beauty and the sacredness that blesses and rocks the world.
Beautiful Alex – thank you.
Wow Alex that feels so true what you say – we need this written down in a book called – “Living inspirations from parents – how to truly support your child”
To hold oneself and each other in preciousness and love is the hallmark of any truly loving relationship.
I agree Joseph. It reflects a living tenderness, preciousness and a deep honouring.
I like this, the call to responsibility is powerful. We certainly need to be having the conversations about these topics at every chance we get and at every dinner table, or sitting on the train, or on lunch break at work. Talking openly and honestly will create change.
Great conversations to be had!
A responsibility I endeavor to maintain throughout my years and into old age… Beautifully written Tony
It is amazing to experience how our relationship with the other sex changes when we become aware of our own beauty, our light and it then becomes natural and easy to hold the other in the same light and appreciation without making it a rule, without wanting to make it a rule as everything else feels very harsh or worse.
You are right that so many of us have given up on the possibility of having such an equal and loving relationship. This has led to both men and women compromising and settling for way less than we are and what we deserve. Starting from a point of knowing the sacredness and tenderness that is within men and women is a great foundation for our relationships. Serge Benhayon and his family have been consistently showing us the reality of this for years, inspiring us all.
I found this can be a vicious circle if you can’t get this right, the woman is not being held in her light so is guarded therefore not able to appreciate the tenderness of men and so it goes on with the man not being appreciated so is unable to feel the true beauty of women.
All it took for me was to appreciate and understand me a lot better and the rest was easy. The new found love I have for me and my relationships is truly wonderful, I feel so much more connected and aware giving me strength in my day to day life.
Well said Ian. In the bigger picture of men and women, it’s like one is waiting for the other to make the first move of appreciating and accepting the other. It’s something that can be changed one person at a time.
I love what you have said here Zofia – ‘A Teacher of Love, whoever that is, shines warmth into any place, but without this, the effects are cold and disastrous.’ True words.
Yes Melinda, to live from our sacredness and the precious women that we are, and equally men from their tenderness, is a constant choice. It is the consistent awareness that we are so much more than what most of us have up until now lived in our daily lives.
‘ I read every word as if each one was in itself precious.’ – Beautifully said Susan – a true appreciation.
So true Oliver, when a man ‘is tender and holding the women in his life, he cannot but be in his essence – tender, delightful, precious and appreciative of his own self’. That is one of the joys about truly celebrating and appreciating another person, we have to connect to ourselves 1st. So it is a win-win situation for everyone.
So true James, when a woman is living and expressing her true qualities of tenderness, preciousness and divine beauty this allows the man to be himself and express his true qualities of tenderness, preciousness and his naturally caring ways. We have a responsibility to support men back to their innate divine qualities.
Well said James. If we connect to ourselves first, we can then appreciate other people and celebrate them in all their glory.. It is indeed a win win for everyone!
The answer to our relationship woes is in these words!
I agree Helen, well said. This blog is truly supportive of relationships and knowing the innate beauty of women and men.
Yes I agree I really felt the authority in this piece of writing as well. And great understanding and clarity. It could have been written by a man or a woman. So balanced is it, in its understanding of the true nature of both men and women.
Beautifully expressed Lucy, this is a glorious expression for all men and women alike and I felt also the beautiful photo at the top reflected so much of a true way a woman and a man can relate to each other.
Loved all your sharings here Adele…… and I totally agree; ‘ As women when we choose to step out from our shadows and shine in our light, it is a healing to the whole world—no matter how the world receives us or responds’.
I feel the enormous responsibility and then how enormously important we all are. Imagine the great joy in the world if we all lived like this. Awe inspiring.
True Joseph… This photo oozes trust, connection and an equal honouring of men and women in their sacredness and tenderness.. Simply beautiful…
What I love about this blog is that it is about honouring both men and women in their innate qualities, and offering us all an opportunity to deepen our connection to these qualities and to not hold back on expressing them. This is a blog about true honouring and true equality – love it!
A truly precious contribution about the innate tenderness in all boys and men and in all girls and women, all of us in short. Thank you for pointing out what is so readily available, in-built indeed and what we all long for.
Gabriele, that is beautifully pointed out – it is true, behind the protection, the hardness and the facade, this is what we all long for in our lives.
Not holding back in expresion and communication between men and women is the step by step practicality to living the power we know of ourselves deep within as women and as men. To keep expressing and keep letting each other in is the key to expressing back to the love , equality and grandness that we are as a united species, human beings.
Adele that is beautiful expressed and something I needed to read, Thank you.
Beautiful Adele and it proves once again that expression is everything.
Yes, Adele, communication is the key. Communicating any hurts, discussing what abuse looks like and calling it out in even the subtlest forms, expressing appreciation for each other’s divine qualities, expressing honour in words, sharing and confirming our respective qualities ….each of these can make a huge difference in men/ women relationships and our path back to our natural way of relating.
Women and men can only work together on this. We have the responsibility to take for ourselves, individually as a gender, but what we take as responsibility for ourselves has a deep impact for everyone in our gender, as well as everyone in our opposite gender. Can it be more beautiful than what can come from the true working together of women and men? How cool indeed is God in having women and men as the species on this planet?
We complete each other and only in that completion can we come back to the wholeness and holiness we come from and go back to. It seems there is a plan in place.
Very true Adele – a unified approach to this issue really is the only way we can go about changing it. It requires BOTH genders and people of all ages to start taking responsibility for the way they live, the way they are and how they are with other people in order to rebuild trusting, loving and caring communities, and eventually a society that doesn’t pressure anyone.
Many women and men have agreed to be in arrangements and have ruled out the possibility of a true relationship, yet living in the so chosen and agreed arrangements are causing deep tension between many men and women. I have witnessed this in many families holding onto tradition—that men are “supposed” to take care of women, protect women, come to all their rescue, and in exchange for this arrangement, women have chosen to remain in a subservient role, in total dependence of men. Both parties are suffering and expressing grief due to this constant tension felt not only with such choices, but with the belief that nothing can ever change. But is it truly true that nothing can change? Or that we choose not to, because of the responsibility that is being asked of us?
This is such a moving, simple and truthful expression shared. Thank you so much. Every word can be felt in the body as truth as it is read. It’s a powerful reminder to us all of what we already know.
I absolutely love the way this article confirms the preciousness and love deep within us all and reminds us of the enormous responsibility we have to one another to appreciate and honour this within one another throughout life.
A beautiful sharing, on the depth of responsibility we all hold to truly change our world and live with true equality. The Barr has been set towards a level of love that we must all build in our lives if true change can happen.
I have had a number of instances recently when I have been blown away by the tenderness of men – expressed through a hug, a passing smile or gentle words. I have felt this both in men close to me and in strangers. As a woman, this has been totally revelatory as I had always pigeon-holed most men as rough and tough. These men have inspired me to connect deeper to my sacredness and the tenderness within.
Thank you for this powerful expression of truth, that lead to me understanding more of the responsibility we all have to be in a way that is non-abusive to anyone.
And it starts with us, our connection to our preciousness, tenderness and sacredness.
Yes, for men and women equally. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and the presentation of Universal Medicine, we are able to become much clearer about how this is achievable, namely through tender loving care and connecting with and holding our selves first in this preciousness and delicateness. And if we all do this – oh boy – what a wonder-full and precious world we will be living in.
It is certainly the way to hold ourselves and each other in the absolute precious love and respect that you describe. However I would add two points of clarification. Firstly even if someone does not hold me in that way it does not mean that I am accepting abuse, for none of us are perfect and it is also abusive to impose on others or demand them to be a certain way. Regardless of the other we (men and women) can hold ourselves in the preciousness, absolutely say no to abuse and inspire by example as you have shared. That leads to my second point which is that many of us are waiting for the other party to be love first before we will be love, so it always starts with us, first being loving and respectful to ourselves and then naturally we will treat others in the same way. I too have been inspired by the teachings and lived ways of Serge Benhayon to hold myself and other in love and not impose.
Great add-ons Nicola! Super helpful xX
Yes indeed Pernilla – Nicola’s add-on’s are very supportive and clear – thank you Nicola!
You have raised some great points Nicola. It is up to us to hold ourselves preciously first and connect to our sacredness or tenderness… but there is an amazing offering to all when we are approached by someone living this when we are not. And this is how Serge Benhayon inspires so many. He holds everyone in the preciousness and tenderness that they truly are. The healing that occurs with this allows us to be able to see our way clear to do this for ourselves and in turn offer this to all others as well.
Yes, and not only do we have the responsibility to not wait but to live and be love, it is empowering to do so and sets us free from a false dependency we tend to hold on to, i.e. the illusion that only when we will be loved first we can overcome our hurts and needs. The opposite is actually true as only when we are loving and respectful with ourselves will we be able to fully receive and accept someone´s love.
Beautifully said, Alex. Stunning.
well said Alex, if we wait for others to love us first before letting down our protection it never is a true opening just an arrangement between two people of how much we show and what we do and do not allow between ourselves. As you say only when we allow being loving and respectful with ourselves will we find that true ‘safety’ is within ourselves; and in letting all the love out we cannot but let others in equally so.
Beautifully said Carolien. It always comes down to ourselves and taking responsibility for our hurts otherwise we are left under the illusion that love is a doing and this is laced with conditions.
Gorgeous expansion Nicola and what I feel when reading it is that we can say no to abuse when it is necessary but that a great part of the abuse comes from us reacting, not accepting where the other is, contracting and holding back. If I choose to go into a hurt instead of holding myself in my preciousness then the abuse is all my own. Very timely reminder, thank you.
Nicola this happened for me today; someone I was with got cross and over-reacted to something and I could feel myself shut down in the hurt, and then I realised it was my responsibility to stay love, to not expect love from the outside but to be the love first. I have lived my life waiting for others to be love first it does not work!
Yes, vanessamchardy, and you seeing that is amazing. After a while we can stay open when simple things happen and a little later we can stay open when less simple things happen.
Thank you Vanessa for this great example… it is timely. I too have been waiting for others to be love first and only recently I have realised that it is not working. I have held on to so much resentment within my body thinking it was another’s place to be love first.
Yes I agree Katie, taking the lead in choosing to be love first feels so empowering and liberating. It feels amazing to begin and allow myself to claim and honour this.
Our expectations and ideals get in the way of us being Love. Big block. I know over the years I was always searching for Love and have finally discovered it was always within me the whole time.
We’ll said Nicole – this is gorgeous.
Nicola, I felt a pang of recognition when I read your words, in the second point you put forth, that is “…many of us are waiting for the other party to be love first before we will be love…” and I know that in the past I did have that behaviour. The interesting thing is, that if one looks at this behaviour honestly, one possibly finds that this is the reflection that reflects back, as the other person in question, perhaps in any type of relationship, be it in the workplace, with friends, at home with a partner, extended family gatherings etc possibly is offering a similar behavioural pattern in return by this very reflection and thus holding the other to ransom so to speak. How elucidating to have an honest understanding and acceptance of one’s past behaviours and hence have the loving wisdom to see there is another way, let go the shields of supposed protection and return to the precious love that is within us all, honouring, sharing and reflecting this truth.
Nicola, what you share is true. To honour ourselves first in the preciousness that we are before anyone else is so important. From experience I know that looking for love outside of me was a bottomless pool that kept me wanting more and more and I was never satisfied anyway. It was like I would get my fix and wait for the next moment to fill me up again. Once I made the choice to start honouring and loving me first everything shifted. Having said that however, the writing of this blog is done in such an exquisite cherishing energy that I feel it honours everyone. Having experienced a cherishing and beholding from a man and allowing that love in was so beautiful, that I felt it deepened something in myself. I was able to love myself on a deeper level as a result. To experience this was a gift.
Great points Nicola. This blog must be commended for opening up this subject, but there is much more here to be discussed before it can be said that we have reached the truth that this blog is only just touching on. Whilst it may be abusive for a woman to accept a man who does not appreciate her for all who she is, what is equally abusive, and more so in fact, is when a woman refuses to accept her own beauty. And that brings us to the core of what TRUE abuse actually is. For it is this lack of self worth that leads to the situation where sometimes she does not even register the abuse she CHOOSES to live with when she lives with a man who does not honour her as he should. This is an extremely important point to consider, and explains much when it comes to relationships. We choose a partner who makes us feel comfortable, and if we are comfortable with feeling small and less, then we will be comfortable with a partner who confirms that we are small. This example works both ways, with men and women alike.
I would also like to clarify that men equally have the capacity to connect to what we might refer to as their sacredness, or stillness, only it is much more difficult for them to do so as a male, when all the world sees such a proclamation as the antithesis of what is considered to be a man. And this is the unfortunate thing about the way men are treated and allow themselves to be treated, that they cannot register just how amazingly precious and delicate they truly are.
In truth, both men and women need to learn not just to respect the other sex, but realise that we are not so different after all once we get beneath the obvious superficial differences. Both of us crave love deeply in a world that does not allow us to nurture our own connection, and it is our refusal to accept this more than anything that underpins much of the abuse that ends up dominating the way we relate with each other.
I fully appreciate your response to the blog here Adam, it touches on very important issues and expands it to so much more. I feel the depth of it all when you also include the men and their sacredness and delicateness here. And there is such truth in that the world does not see or value men truly when they connect with that within and then live it in the outside world. Your last sentence – “Both of us crave love deeply in a world that does not allow us to nurture our own connection, and it is our refusal to accept this more than anything that underpins much of the abuse that ends up dominating the way we relate with each other.” – brings it truly home in that we are all responsible for all of it and by steadily connecting and expressing from the heart, we have a journey together to shift this ill behaviour in the way many people relate with each other and with themselves.
Adam what you have brought here is the ultimate in responsibility and claiming that we are indeed the same as beings – men and women – and that we have a deep opportunity to heal the fact that we are hurting from not connecting to our inner selves and cherishing the preciousness we are.
I love what you are offering here, Nicola. Waiting for the other to be love first before we will be love – is a classic.
Yes, it so much starts with us and it has been utterly amazing for me just how much I can change myself without waiting for the other and, then, how much my change changes the other’s behaviour instantly and thoroughly in most cases.
Thank you Nicola, your post is most helpful, loving and supportive.
Thanks Nicola, your comments help us to see responsibility on an even deeper level. Being love for ourselves and others first whether or not they are being that for us.
Brilliant points you have posed here Nicola and I wholeheartedly agree that it starts with us being the leaders of our own precious love first. From there leads the opening for others to do same for themselves. That is where true unions reside.
Love this Nicola, thank you. I agree being loving and respectful with others begins first with ourselves. For what we do for ourselves effects everyone. There is a ripple effect in every choice we make.
This is so true Nicola – how often do we find ourselves in the position where we will love another only if they love us first. That is ‘I’ll let you in if you let me in first’. Also seen by the way we awkwardly only hug another if they first extend their arms to us. Why wait for another to be something we already are? Be love and it matters not if others make the same choice, as the fact remains that they are still love, just choosing to not express it. And if we are waiting for them to express it, to ‘be’ it, then we are also not expressing the love that we are by virtue of the fact that we are waiting for it and not being it. Aha!
That is a very helpful command Nicola – Thank you. It opens it up to have a more deeper understanding about where abuse really starts. I have to admit that I was also inspired by the teachings and lived ways of Serge Benhayon.
Suzanne, I agree – it is very powerful to feel the authority and clarity expressed, it comes unquestionably from a woman who is walking her talk.
Yes doesn’t she. I was deeply moved by this powerful and heavenly piece of writing. It was one of the most stunning articles I have ever read about the true roles of men and women. And the photo -I could stare at it for decades.
This blog is deeply profound with not a single word too much or too less in it. A really powerful writing, shared with authority, wisdom and absolute delicateness. Thank you so much for helping me to even feel and understand much deeper, how I, as a woman lose contact to my sacredness, when I allow any form of abuse in my life and to what it leads, if these situations pile up. Through the last years, inspired by the presentations, teachings and lived way of Serge Benhayon and his family, I experience a kind of denouncing these abusive Situations, I gathered trough my life and therefore in my body, to discover how to live from my sacredness again. As I am blessed to be hold tenderly and amazingly seen by a man, who increases his own tenderness from day to day, I can confirm, how deeply supportive this is to me. Thank you for your blog and every man who is cherishing himself and holding a woman in her true light.
Stefanie I too am living with a man whose tenderness is increasing and it really is quite beautiful as it encourages me to be tender and it introduces the very real possibility of true intimacy. True intimacy between two people being a state that can only be achieved when both parties are being tender.
In each others reflection we bloom to the full beauty we innately are.
That is absolutely beautiful expressed, Alex.
Yes Alex, a true celebration of our supremely powerful qualities
Wow! A true gem Alex – true tenderness and love can be felt in these simple and profound words.-
“In each others reflection we bloom to the full beauty we innately are”.
Well said Alex. Reflections are our saving grace.
It is horrendous what men and women have accepted as being normal as a consequence of the aeon-old lack of appreciation for each other and themselves. And because it has become so ‘normal’ it is even harder to fully see and understand how deep the distortion of what it means to be a man or a woman runs. To hold each other in preciousness is key, as it allows to go back to before the very beginning of the seperative and dismissive history of our two genders. Before there could be any form of behaviour that treated the opposite gender as being less or wrong or guilty etc. there was a lack of appreciation for oneself and consequently the other. Letting go of the preciousness opens the door for inequality – and here the story goes. Hence let´s go back to preciousness, back to the very foundation of knowing the glory that we all are equally.
I agree Alex. When we come from knowing this deep tenderness and sacredness then look at what we’ve accepted as normal as a society, it is horrendous.
Beautifully said Alex, through not having a relationship that honours how deeply precious we are it is clear how there is an opening for separation, conflict and inequality, these days both men and women are so deeply hurt that we hold each other in such a high level of protection we don’t realise how hurtful and even harming that can be to other as they never get to experience our love in full
Alex, I agree not only have we accepted this lack of appreciation as normal but we have also accepted abusive relationships as loving. It is horrendous how far we have come from knowing who we truly are.
A great comment Alex: inviting us all to step up our game and reestablish what is considered normal in our relationships, back to a situation where normal is all the precious loving tender ways that can be expressed (and are admirably expressed in the accompanying photo).
Precious Alex that was a beautiful truthful comment and I agree lets go back to preciousness – it is not so hard and difficult as we first may think or feel.
What a blessing to read and re- read your blog.
It is a great healing to stop this age-old separation between men and women by deeply honouring, who they are.
To get the focus back to what it is really about, as you wrote:
“reintroducing Love to a loveless world, and opening up the possibility for humanity to heal.”
Absolutely. This love and tenderness and way of connecting will eventually heal all the false way of being and patterns we tend to slip into. It takes presence with our body and responsibility to feel the grandness of our love, to stay with it and also to choose to express from it.
So precious what You are sharing here. Thank You.
Women learning again to connect to their sacredness and men learning again of their tenderness now this is a world that I want to live in.
Me too!
A world that is returning to being the livingness of God because it is qualities such as sacredness and tenderness that return us back to being His living quality. God is not an abstract concept, He is a lived quality that we can and will all return to being. And although initially there will be many gradients and varieties of these qualities, it will one day be so uniform that we will all yoke back into The One Body of God.
I cannot go past the picture connected to this blog. It captures the tenderness of a man who knows and honours the woman’s sacredness. This is the kind of images we all need to see because it reflects a truth that is deeply needed in the world.
Rightly so Elizabeth very needed
I agree Elizabeth and what the picture brought home to me was how true intimacy can be deeply felt simply in the touching of heads and conversely how there can be no intimacy whatsoever even when two people are having sexual intercourse. What determines the level of intimacy isn’t the body part that’s being touched, it’s the level of energetic intimacy between the two people.
‘the deep responsibility we all have in truly cherishing each other’ so very beautiful Victoria.
When I read this line ‘the deep responsibility we all have in truly cherishing each other’ it struck me how few people truly cherish each other. The word ‘cherish’ has such a specific meaning that it highlighted for me that it is rarely felt in most relationship ships even between parents and their children.
So many of our relationships are based on need and thus, there is no true cherishing of one another – how can there be? It feels like such relationships actually resemble a service agreement rather than the true love that is possible if we but commit to life and to healing our hurts.
I agree Alexis…cherish wasn’t a word that was in my vocabulary, and I don’t ever remember hearing it in conversation either, until attending Universal Medicine…and even now I rarely use it so thank you for the reminder to cherish – myself and others.
A great reminder to live our truth and not to hold back in any way shape or form, never conform or accept less for that less has a way of corrupting the world around us and feeding us back more of the same.
Yes, Deborah, we often forget in playing our roles how unloving and cold this is for us and everybody else. There is no openess and warmth in this.
There is a deep imbalance when men don’t know themselves. It is pretty much a given that men are perceived the ‘provider’ or to play some role or other playing themselves into the box that society has determined a man is and should be. Where is the freedom for men to be gentle, vulnerable and to express true care and tenderness in a box that says harden up, get on with it, bring home the bacon and she’ll be aright mate?
There is much role playing in society – men, women and children alike. How refreshing and free a world we will have when we each allow ourselves and others to be, with freedom to express what is true and natural.
Thank you for this statement of truth and the reminder to all of what is possible for us to live together in our relationships once we have this understanding and the willingness to heal ourselves and live from Love. Like you I have enormous gratitude and appreciation for Serge Benhayon who has restored my faith in Love by his living example.
This speaks straight to the essence of what relationships are about. Although I am learning how to live and hold these qualities in my relationships, I am thankful for knowing people and couples who can and do live in deeply loving relationships. Knowing and observing Serge and Miranda Benhayon has shown me there is a way to be in relationship without fighting.. at all. Before meeting Serge and Miranda I though everyone fought in relationships. I have been observing many more relationships in my life blossom from people choosing to live and hold themselves in deeper regard.
Men are indeed tender, and sensitive, but there is something awesome about expressing this sensitivity. It has great strength. The true warmth of a person can be felt when they are expressing their sensitivity. And the same goes for women. Our true strength is in equality and harmony.
Yes I agree Harrison, sensitivity has a gentle strength about it, and I love it when men and women express from this place within. It feels very acknowledging of the person as well, like they are saying…”This is me, I’m actually love, and anything other than love hurts me.”
Yes Elizabeth Khalu, expressing by both genders is very building and confirming in relationship, whether that’s at work, or on the home front. Expressing is everything in relationship because of its build towards (restoring) trust, something so many of us have an issue with, and as a result close ourselves down to not get hurt. In this way there is great strength in expression, and great disharmony when there is not.
Harry White, it is one of the most gorgeous things ever, to see and feel a man living his own true tenderness – exquisite. Keep bringing it is what I say.
I completely agree Harrison, as men we know that we all have complete tenderness and sensitivity within ourselves and we draw true power from how deep and how much tenderness and sensitivity we allow ourselves to express
I agree Harrison sensitivity is a great strength, not the weakness it is often made out to be in society. Being sensitive supports us to feel everything and from this knowing make a choice that will truly support us.
This is so true. How upside down we get it to consider being strong as hardening up, persevering and putting on a brave face. I have learnt that true strength comes from living our natural quality – the strength of a man expressing tenderness and likewise a woman her preciousness and allowing ourselves to be ‘us’ – not a picture or role.
This upside downess is so upside down. We tend to focus on issues and be in protection and hardness instead of surrendering to our own beauty, feeling that in another and expressing all they are in truth to them – holding them with and in that tender love. Definitely a lot to appreciate from this blog.
It is such a switch to stop focusing on what is wrong with us and appreciate what is naturally and innately beautiful and tender within us.
So true Jenny – the world in general puts so much focus on all that is negative, rather than “..appreciate what is naturally and innately beautiful and tender within us.” How gorgeous is this – it is life changing, and the more people being in life this way, will bring true and lasting change.
True strength comes from living the qualities of God, any perceived strengths outside of His qualities are simply that ‘perceived’.
Harrison I am re-discovering my tenderness and sensitivity more day by day and I have to admit that sharing my tenderness and sensitivity with a man is a very beautiful way to feel the strength and warmth which lay so naturally inside of both of us.
When we share our sensitivity and tenderness it isn’t so much about sharing ‘us’, it’s about joining another in The All.
Yes, tenderness and sensitivity has an enormous strength in men as well in women, and when honouring each other for the beauty we all are, the strength is even grander.
Yes very beautifully said Benkt.
Awesome observation and claiming Harrison, we are as men and women blessed by our sensitivity.
Yes Harrison I had felt that harmony and equity with men and feel inspired in allowing this to grow more and more.
Beautifully said Harrison, there is something incredibly gorgeous seeing me be their tender and sensitive selves. Likewise a women, sharing her vulnerability, not seeing that as a weakness, but a true strength. It is through sharing these qualities with each other that we can feel harmony.
So beautifully said Harrison.
Yes I agree Harrison because by recognising and focusing on the equality and harmony that naturally exists between us we bind ourselves closer together rather than what most of us currently do, which is to focus on our inequality and differences which temporarily confirms the illusion that we’re all separate human beings living a totally unrelated life.
This is a truly powerful expression of the equal responsibility men and women have to honour, support, cherish and empower each other.
Living true love and relationship – being ourselves in full and bringing out the fullness in each other.
Bringing out the fullness in each other by mutual inspiration and building a basis for the other to further build upon.
Michael it was amazing to read your description of the potential for relationships, ‘bringing out the fullness in each other by mutual inspiration and building a basis for the other to further build upon’. I reflected on how many relationships currently involve ‘keeping another permanently capped by mutual hurt and ensuring that they continue to stay small by repeating ingrained behaviours’. Contraction v expansion. Involution v Evolution. Let’s choose to make all relationships about evolution.
Yes Alexis, and wonderful comments after this awesome blog, the potential for relationships to be about bringing out “the fullness in each other by mutual inspiration and building a basis for the other to further build upon.” The mutual hurt and ingrained behaviours stop magic happening, magic that could, should and would be normal if we made this our foundation.
Well said Alexis – in reference to your last sentences “Contraction v expansion. Involution v Evolution. Let’s choose to make all relationships about evolution.” I sense there is an undeniable call from the core element of us to heed the knowing, and expand the awareness of the choice we have to be in the glory of that choice, the choice to align with Soul – wow! now I can imagine that would be a relationship also worth pondering on to take into a partnership of any kind I feel.
Yes we are masters of manipulating relationships so they stay stagnant and predictable in some sort of peculiar version of feeling comfortable. That we can be so comfortable with such a loss of love is uniquely human. We are due to our minds capable of great harm and the greatest harm is the separation from our innate love.
Man it seems so simple when we think about it. Instead of relationships being about what I need to get to fulfill me – what am I bringing to this relationship to support the other person be all that they are and can be.
Changes the whole world.
Beautifully expressed Alex – ‘Living true love and relationship – being ourselves in full and bringing out the fullness in each other.’
Wow, gorgeous Alex. ‘Living true love and relationship – being ourselves in full and bringing out the fullness in each other.’
What a confirmation of our Divinity this is.
Yes true! Just let ourselves be and hold others as equal, we are all full of love.
True Johanna, our divinity, there’s no doubt about it here.
Alex, you have captured the true purpose of relationships so beautifully. Bringing out the fullness of each other – now that is love!
Yes exactly Vicky.
Gorgeous Vicky. “Bringing out the fullness of each other – now that is love!” That is love indeed.
So beautifully said Vicky. It turns what seems to be the current relationship model of ‘am i getting my needs met’ right around.
It does not get better than that “being ourselves in full and bringing out the fullness in each other”. To hold and to be held is what living in brotherhood is about. I cherish my sacredness and the sacredness of other women as well as the divine care and tenderness in men.
I agree, we as men to learn to empower a woman in the sacredness that they initially are.
Absolutely Jonathan: the responsibility is equal; it’s a ‘two way street’. Perhaps this is the true meaning of this old saying?
Perhaps Oliver!
It certainly is of equal responsibility Jonathan. And both sexes have the ability to offer an immense amount of healing to each other. This has been my experience when met by a man living his natural tenderness… I can just melt and let go of the hurt of not being held for the amazingness that I am.
I also feel this around men who are fully in their tenderness. I let go and feel a holding and safeness to just be. Sometimes I find it confronting but mostly I find and feel it empowering of me in my essence.
That’s beautiful Johanna. We need to know these things! Say them more often! So much of the way we are told to be as men is the opposite of that tenderness.
I too find it confronting at times (resisting the truth of who I am as a woman and the pain of not living that) but when I let go and feel how deeply I am truly seen and loved it’s such a glorious confirmation of who we truly are as men and as women. The rest is just a passing illusion.
Yes Robyn and Johanna, it is the most amazing feeling ‘to be truly met’ by a man fully in their own tenderness with no ulterior motives or agenda’s. I can feel the exquisite delicateness, fragility, strength and power of the true woman within me more fully in this natural way of being.
To be met by equally a woman who is claimed in their true essence is deeply inspiring and empowering too.
I too can relate to letting go of the layers of protection and connecting and living more fully from my sacredness when I am met by my partner who is living in his tenderness.
I agree wholeheartedly Michelle.
I find that too Michelle, and I also find that just knowing that a man is tender in his essence I am not so protective of myself and therefore do not react as I used to. And if I am not wary and putting up my wall it allows the man space to reconnect to that tenderness and sensitivity within and he does not feel the need to make himself hard in case he is rejected. It works both ways and I am just as responsible as he is for how we relate.
It is great to read and share about an elaboration of the male role of caring, as deeply honouring the natural beauty and sacredness of women. In turn this honours ourselves