In the past I can honestly say that I had little to no genuine appreciation for men.
I used to see men more for the roles they played, or what they could do for me, or for their family. Sometimes I was aware that some men should be avoided as they gave me unwanted looks or attention that made me feel uncomfortable. At other times I gave my power away to men as I thought they knew more than me or they were forceful and imposing with the way they delivered their knowledge.
To add to this I also had very little appreciation for myself, and women in general too. I liked what I saw in each gender and thought some things were nice or pleasing but when I reflect on the level of appreciation I now have for myself and others, I can see that in the past there was very little true appreciation.
It is only because of Serge Benhayon and all that he presents and lives, along with his unending care towards people, that I have become aware of this. With the support of Universal Medicine practitioners, the amazing reflection of all the caring and vital men and women that make up the students of The Way of The Livingness, as well as my willingness to deepen, unfold and change old patterns, I have connected to and can appreciate the deeply loving person I am and can also see and feel others to be.
In this past year I have been fortunate enough to meet two amazing new male friends who have inspired me. If I had met these men in the past, I am sure I would have been oblivious to their amazingness and/or I probably would have found it confronting to be met with such care and in such an engaging way, let alone appreciate them for it. I have met many people over the last year but these men stood out for their very genuine qualities.
One man is a painter who I was recommended to use. He has a high level of integrity and an amazing work ethic and consideration for his clients. The other man is retired and volunteers a lot of his time; I see him when my husband and I walk our dog near the beach. He has a beautiful way about him that includes everybody around him. He always gives his full undivided attention to the people he speaks with, and he lifts people up by simply smiling and saying a joyful hello. Both men have integrity, are very respectful and value relationships with other people and have a beautiful way of connecting with people.
Whenever I am around each of them I feel met and cared for because each of them takes the time to stop, really listen and hold a very caring level of eye contact throughout the conversation.
I simply feel how amazing it is that these men – who just go about their day – work hard doing what they do (whether they are paid for it or not), are living life to the full and yet have held on to the beautiful tenderness and self-connection they would have had as young boys. Today they share that in the interactions they have with others. They are not shut down or dismissive, racy, forceful or imposing; instead they are patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring. These are men to admire, who definitely have qualities worth appreciating.
I love that I can see these amazing qualities in others and myself. I now know what true connection feels like and I can have it with other people in my everyday activities.
Written in the full appreciation of the lived loving way of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Johanna Smith, Bachelor of Education
Further Reading:
Relationships
The Gorgeousness Of It All: Falling In Love With Myself, Others and The World
Magic of Knowing… We are All One & the Same on the Inside
“I have connected to and can appreciate the deeply loving person I am and can also see and feel others to be.” Love is the shared denominator between us all.
From my experience of Universal Medicine I discovered I had absolutely no appreciation of myself and this I am working on steadily. I have discovered that if we have no appreciation of who we are and what we can bring to the world then we cannot value or appreciate others. This is a huge life lesson for us all to learn.
Relationships are reflections, Mary if you’ve dismantled your ‘self made prison’ then you will attract men who reflect the same back to you which then paves the way for a a very tender, loving and joyful union. Simply gorgeous.
Mary it feels to me like you’ve had ‘loads of issues’ around who ‘men are not’ rather than ‘with men’, which is a completely different thing but I would imagine that the world is full of women that feel the same as you. I also feel that it would also be true to say that there would be an incredible amount of men that have issues around ‘who women are not’ but who believe they have issues around women per say. The trouble is with neither sex is operating from the honesty of who they truly are and so we have a society of people who have issues with each other, be that in or out of relationships.
There is no doubt in my mind that Serge Benhayon has been the catalyst for thousands of people who have been touched by the love that he reflects which is divine. We are all from the one source and in our determination to be individual we have completely lost sight of this basic truth. The fact that he constantly reflects this to humanity in spite of our continued resistance shows to me the depth of obedience he has to the plan, hierarchy and ultimately God.
Appreciation in truth is the understanding of the true Joy we are in and also comes with an openness of letting people in (intimacy), so when we appreciate another we are feeling their essences and thus our divinity feels their divinity, which is full-appreciation of the Godly-ness we can live.
Amazing it is, that what you have shared is the deep child-like-ness, which is usually hidden, buried, denounced, over-ridden, squashed, crushed, hardened, toughened and simply told to man-up, but a man’s’ True sensitivities is when a man in his absolute True Power, as you have shared Johanna, and it is very much the same with women and their Sacredness.
With the tougher act and the stronger invincibility act, the greater the sensitivity lies underneath; this is what is so desperately wanting to be protected.
The more I appreciate myself the more appreciation I have for everyone in my life both men and women.
Yes Helen, I agree, and appreciation is a very beautiful addition to our lives.
Feeling the love in ourselves and others allows us to appreciate the power of love.
Bringing more appreciation into all areas of our life changes so much, and life becomes extra enjoyable.
So well said Elizabeth. It is simply not possible to truly appreciate another unless we hold that same level of love and appreciation for ourselves first.
We have come to a point on this plane of life where nothing is truly working from the old place we have been doing so. Our world is a mess, we have the most murder, rape, corruption, war, violation, abuse, deceit etc. Then ever before. So what is going on? Are we being asked to be more responsible? Have we taken this role seriously or have we been feeding the creation of staying in the exact same spot (comfort) instead of rising beyond? Lets ponder.
When we do appreciate men for who they truly are in essence, we then begin to break down the ill- consciousness that imposes on us all and robbing us all of the innate richness, tenderness and sacred qualities that men in their true essence naturally offer us all.
There can be nothing lovelier than being in the presence of a man who expresses his innate essence and tenderness… it’s very melting.
We can’t see how amazing we or other people are when we are focused on what they/we do or have done previously.
Beautifully said Elizabeth, when we hold and appreciate ourselves in the love that we are then it becomes a natural way of being to appreciate men and others in our lives. Deepen the love and appreciation within ourselves and then appreciation of others becomes a ‘normal’ way of living.
So very true Caroline. No trying involved, it very organically becomes a way of being.
I agree, appreciating ourselves first and foremost helps us to naturally start appreciating others.
We do not need to talk about appreciation – this is not appreciation – this is knowledge; we just need to live it in our movements.
The main recipe for a fantastic life filled with lots of love is appreciation, if we don’t appreciate we go round and round in circles without seeing the beauty that is there for us.
Yes, Johanna, appreciation of who we are is the foundation of being able to see all the amazing qualities we have ourselves and equally in others. And by you expressing the level of appreciation you have felt for two men close to you you confirm the love that lives within you and is there to share with everybody naturally so.
Tenderness in men has been a hidden treasure for too long.
Agreed Michael and this loss of this richness lived and reflected in our lives is something we are all responsible for allowing. Deepening our relationship with our essence we can then appreciate the richness that is there is all others of either gender and our connections becomes founded on truth, confirming the true qualities of who we naturally and tenderly are.
Being able to meet each other in absolute tenderness is our natural way of being and yet most of us operate in very different ways, we’re more like bumper cars, bouncing off the hardness of each other, all the while craving the tenderness and intimacy of true connection.
Yes, that is true and this also allows women to be treated with much more appreciation.
I found that how I treat myself I then also treat others – of either gender. That may be coloured by preferences or if I want something from specific people but overall it was the same. Once I lived with more love my behaviour and experience of others and myself became very different.
As I express more appreciation I feel my life get lighter and more in-joy-able, relationships open up and I feel more confident too. What a great medicine appreciation is.
I have finally come to see the struggle I had for many years to appreciate the men in my life was because I “had very little appreciation for myself”. I have learnt that to love truly love another, to care for another and to appreciate another it is so crucial for me to have all those beautiful qualities in my own foundation for life. And once I do, loving, caring and appreciating another comes so very naturally.
Yes I feel that too Ingrid. And it’s something that has no end point it just deepens as we choose and allow for more care love and appreciation in our daily life
So well put Ingrid. It is only with learning to have this true love and appreciation for ourselves, that we can start to really begin to truly love another.
Same for me Ingrid, it feels so lovely to appreciate ourselves and then our love and appreciation for everyone in our life is also ignited. It is difficult to appreciate others if we leave ourselves out.
When we appreciate ourselves we give a gift to the world and when we appreciate another the same thing happens, so how can appreciation ever be a bad thing – it’s a win, win situation.
Beautiful for you to be able to appreciate men to this deep level and to see them in a different way. These 2 men in your life who you describe shows that there is potential in us all to connect with each other and offer something greater.
When someone truly meets you for who you are it is an imprint that is left in the body. To be able to receive that is to plant a seed that we have that capacity within us too. Very inspirational.
When we truly connect to another we realise it doesn’t matter what there gender is we are all pretty damm amazing, look deep into another’s eyes and you can not deny divinity and the universe.
I enjoy how your post Johanna is so confirming of the way we see ourselves being the way we see others too, and as a woman to see and appreciate a man in his qualities is very beautiful. I know for myself that when a man shows (and is not afraid to show it either) his qualities of tenderness, sensitivity, warmth and engagement, I’m absolutely sold, and in-love!
I recently observed a friend of mine meet a male work colleague of mine and saw him open up and respond very differently to how he normally does. What was great about this was that the friend didn’t relate to him in his role but to him as a person and he was very open and responsive to this and it taught me to not play into the roles but to connect deeper to the person.
Great observation MW, and this shows how we are with each other can either suppress who we are or confirm and open us up more to be more ourselves.
It is really very great to have articles like this one being published, an article that openly talks about the true care and integrity that can be present in men. As this is something to be appreciated, to be honoured and cherished and adored.
Being able to appreciate others means we are able to appreciate ourselves too. The magic of appreciation is powerful and simple, yet not many people in this world are utilising its power and magic. I am starting to tap into this amazing power through appreciating myself and others more and more.
Appreciation is about what a “true connection feels like”, and once discovered in ones-self we can-not but help appreciating what others bring from their essence.
What I have noticed is that if I do not appreciate myself as a woman, then I am not open to receiving and seeing the beauty in another. The more I surrender and drop into my own beauty the more this draws this out in others too.
The more we appreciate ourselves the more we offer another. How powerful is this maker that shows us that we leave no one behind when we offer more love in the equation?
I know I’ve been told this before many times but today it felt like a lightbulb came on reading your comment MW. This then brings up a question: Are there any beliefs being carried about being beautiful?
What we do not do enough is appreciating.. Not just by words but by movement. It is recently that I have begin to feel what appreciation actually is, to receive the moment that is full of appreciation and choose to walk it thereafter. It is practise.
I loved what you shared Danna, that appreciation is not just in words but by our movements, how we move within ourselves and appreciate who we are, and our loving actions towards others, where by touch they feel the love and appreciation we have for them.
Yes thanks Danna great reminder that appreciation is the key!
Recently I have felt very acutely how I deflect another’s appreciation of me almost instantly and I have also felt how this kind of puts a stop or a block on the moment. If I were to simply allow what’s being expressed by another to be expressed without shutting it down then in that moment there would be expansion for us both. And at the end of the day expansion is the name of the game.
Opening men up to the truth they are feeling is so simple when we all let down our perceived ways, which are usually some form of critique or condemnation, the usual banter we all go on with. When opened up to love we actually start to expand in our awareness and say the most amazingly loving things. This happen when a work college some time after it was expressed that he actually loved his work, which brought up his lack of self worth and the usual denial about what he loved, expressed he did Love his work.
And again we have the opportunity to see what happens when just one person takes the time to simply be, in their lives and how this affects others, and so the ripple effect spreads.
What I love about what you are sharing here Johanna is that we can be truly inspiring simply by allowing our natural qualities and care and love to shine through our eyes and be seen in our movements. We don’t have to do anything special or fancy or even work hard – it is all already there if we allow it. This is particularly healing for me as a man to hear as often I have fallen for the trick of thinking I had to do something to prove my worth.
I can’t help but feel how when you have deepened your connection with your own inner beauty and sensitivity Johanna, you were then able to appreciate it in men. Also, I like the point you made about how important eye contact is when speaking with someone. It really makes a huge difference and shows true care and consideration as opposed to a ‘whatever’ attitude or preoccupation with something else, which is dishonouring.
It’s true so many men in this world aren’t truly being themselves. But it doesn’t actually take a lot to look beneath the outer behaviours and appreciate their true essence and beauty. It’s up to us if we want to continue on with false pictures or get to the truth. Thank you Johanna.
Connection with each other if being a foundation in life makes life much more simple to not hold back love and to be ourselves no matter who we are with.
There are so many beautiful men who are tender and caring in nature that hide behind tough exteriors because it is not accepted in our society.
I didn’t use to like men too so much so I did not want to be a man. I was happy being an irresponsible boy. The aggression between each other and treating women as sex objects discouraged me. This was life all around me until I met Serge Benhayon the maestro of tenderness, sweetness and beholding caring love for both men and women. There were also his sons Michael and Curtis. The only men in the world who are role models of being a true man back then. Now there are more tender men including myself who have been truly inspired for how these men live.
They are not shut down or dismissive, racy, forceful or imposing; instead they are patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring. These are men to admire, who definitely have qualities worth appreciating. How beautiful your description of these two men Johanna, sharing with us how men can be and what awesome role models these two men are for others.
The connection you describe Johanna sounds simple – and it is, but how many of us actually live like this? Do we open ourselves up, to give space to let others be and meet them with all of us? Or do we rush by looking to the next task? The riches we seek live in these moments where we choose to allow Love.
I have had 3 sons and one of the qualities I have always appreciated in each of them is their natural tenderness. They, together with their father, have inspired me to appreciate tenderness in all men and not misconstrue physical strength for making me less.
Even though the world is set up in expectation of men being tough and macho there are still so many beautiful men out there who have been able to retain their natural tenderness and sensitivity. These men are a joy to meet and to be around and offer to all other men a wonderful reflection as to how they too can be in this world.
It is so gorgeous to appreciate men and certainly helps to break down the myths around what it is to be a true man.
I can feel how there is an openness when we hold on to the connections and way of being with others that we have as kids and that this changes as we grow up. It is like a veil comes over that openness to protect ourselves from getting rejected or hurt.
It feels very special when you have a moment of appreciation for others instead of seeing their so-called faults and judging them. This happened to me just yesterday, where I had previously judged these two people but yesterday I could feel the sweetness from one and the openness of the other’s smile.
What came to me as I was reading this was that we all have qualities worth appreciating. In fact what you were describing is part of all of us, but its that somewhere along the line we choose not to live in that way. One of the hardest things to realise that through the way we live we can and do inspire others. We’re often not good at clocking this for ourselves. Therefore appreciating who we are, what we live and what we bring, is an essential component.
Thank you Johanna, this is a great reminder to truly meet men, no matter how hardened, protected, or shut down they may be inside there is a beautiful, loving, and sensitive essence. It’s truly a joy to know this in myself and now be able to see past whatever wall or mask there may be in another to the true person within.
It is so true Johanna, when we categorize both men and women into roles according to the rigidity of our ideals and beliefs and traditional societal expectations we can totally omit appreciating their innate qualities and thus their potential.
Perhaps, just like nationality and culture, we can always find ways to distinguish ourselves way from eachother, to find reasons why we are so different like with gender, when really we are all people learning and figuring out our way through this life, so there is much in common that we have and much to be relatable with eachother.
I can remember when I was living at home with my parents possibly in my teens my father commenting on the importance of eye contact during conversations. To him it reflected an honesty. My Dad expressing this has stayed with me as at the time I understood what he meant although I was not living the eye contact he was referring to. Recently I have noticed the beauty of eye contact and this is expanding in all areas of my life. I realise it is very important for me too as I learn to be open for the real me to be seen.
I love appreciating men and find that I am only able to do so when I have truly been honouring of myself and appreciating who I am too.
When we connect to one another for the being we are and not just superficially for the doing we act out, there is a depth of beauty and tenderness in every man, woman and child that is awe inspiring and very beautifully touching.
This beautifully illustrates just how much we all are responsible for how we meet men, and each other. Are we coming from per-conceived ideas of what a man is or are we receiving who they are in essence? Are we open to feeling the natural tenderness of men, and do we allow them to feel free to express their tenderness? There is much for us to consider here as the consciousness that currently is running us, has us believing that men need to fit into a picture that does not truly reflect who they are, as their true strength is lived through their connection to who they naturally and tenderly are within.
This is a beautiful blog, Johanna. The love that you express in your appreciation of the men you describe is simply gorgeous. It will support them to be more of them whilst inspiring others to connect to their same qualities.
Hi Richard, and I can tell you you are one of those amazing men too, actually we men all are. We only have to be reminded of this fact and therefore it is so important to live it to its full extent and to let it out without any restrictions from a held ideal image or belief.
It is so important to appreciate these men you mentioned Johanna, and with that you do not only appreciate these men in particular but all men in general for the real male qualities they carry within. While expressed or held back, all men have these qualities and in appreciating them in public many more men who currently are holding back in expressing their male qualities will make them to appreciate and allow themselves to let out these too.
Very true Nico, it is easier to see another go first and see it is safe. In fact, it inspires another to go there because it feels and looks so at ease. There is a lived quality to that ease by many of the men I have met who have opened up to this way of living which inspires me to embrace my own youthfulness and deepen that relationship in myself.
Appreciation … such a simple word, and yet it holds the key for so many of us to move on and evolve.
This is beautiful Johanna and I can relate to not allowing men to get too close. It is only since I met Serge Benhayon and experienced his Presentations of the Ancient Wisdom , that I understand all are equal , that I have let down my guard more.
I have recently been reflecting on this and how few true male friends I have where I spend time with. When I was younger at school I used to have loads of male friends and really valued my relationship and connection with them. What I am feeling more lately is how, when I do not hold onto protection, just how healing friendships with men can be and how it supports me to be more tender with myself and allow love in. Friendships and relationships with men can be deeply healing. I love the appreciation you hold and share for the male friends you have in your life .. they feel very beautifull.
When we are being ourselves, who we truly are, in the deeply self-loving state that comes with this awareness, we can inspire, just by our very being, people to open up all around us, and never even know what a profound effect we are having.
This is beautiful Johanna, it is a simple truth that living in full appreciation of who we are allows us to notice and appreciate the beauty of another’s reflection.
Since knowing Serge Benhayon and his sons I have allowed myself to not be so tense around men and give my power away to them thinking they know more than me because they are men they have the degree or whatever that sets them above me.
What the men in the Benhayon family have showed me and actually the men in the student body is that they can be extremely tender, caring, funny and I adore the very deep respect they have for all women too and I feel it is their deep love and respect for women that is allowing me to feel this within myself, that I can appreciate myself for all the qualities I bring and feel I don’t have to hide them away incase they get trampled on again.
As I choose to be open to others even if I maybe feeling a little insecure, I am able to see the beauty and fragility in both men and women. Yes, often there is a hardness but if I see beyond this I see a beautiful essence in another as I feel in myself too.
“I now know what true connection feels like and I can have it with other people in my everyday activities.” We all have the ability to choose true connection with others, we can be lazy and just do ‘surface level stuff’ but in doing so, we are watering down what is possible. When we do connect, we are able to see and feel what qualities people have and live in, they are not always awful or corrupt, but we can see the beauty and love that people are and can be.
If we don’t appreciate ourselves, how can we truly appreciate another? To what depth can that level of appreciation really go?
I have felt my appreciation of men deepen hugely in recent times. It’s gorgeous to be reminded this is a reflection of the deepening of appreciation for myself too
Great to read your blog again Johanna. I am learning to appreciate myself and others more and more. It supports us in so many ways and it is a beautiful way to bring joy into our everyday when we fully appreciate ourselves, everything and everyone around us.
Gorgeous to read this, it is so important to appreciate ourselves and each other for the beauty that we all bring.
We can so often project our ideals and beliefs on another, and in this never see or meet who stands before us. If we are open to love, we allow the full sight of another’s glory to be seen.
The more appreciation that I have for myself the more I am able to appreciate all those around me. Appreciation is a huge building tool to enriching life.
Elizabeth you are the pinnacle of appreciation in my eyes. You live all that you just shared, and all are showered in this appreciation when they meet you. A true gift.
It certainly is Elizabeth, I am experiencing this too and my life has changed due to appreciating myself and others more and more. I agree appreciation is the key ingredient to nurturing ourselves, our relationships and life.
Appreciation is the registering of something of value which in turn acts as a confirmation and seems to somehow solidify it so that it can be used as a platform from which to then take another step forwards.
“They are not shut down or dismissive, racy, forceful or imposing; instead they are patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring. These are men to admire, who definitely have qualities worth appreciating.” This is how every man can be if they but be open to the love that resides within. Beautiful to experience and appreciate men living who they truly are.
How ‘normal’ is this though? Men and women get confirmed that it is normal by what they see and experience around them in life. The men who don’t subscribe to that stand out because they are not being ruled by time and that is a divine reflection.
Both men and women love to be adored and appreciated. We flourish and expand when we receive confirmation of how gorgeous we are. The more we adore and appreciate ourselves this expression naturally flows out to everyone else. It is beautiful how this works.
The more we appreciate men for the tenderness that they are, the more they are willing to drop their walls and protection, and maybe even some of their lifestyle bubbles they love so much.
How we are with ourselves is definitely key to how we are with others, as if I slack off with my own self appreciation and care, it does ripple out to others and I can miss a moment of appreciation that is there to be expressed.
This is very beautiful, knowing the reignited appreciation you share here is builiding a loving way to live for all.
It is a great point that we often don’t appreciate the wonderful qualities of those around us because we don’t appreciate them in ourselves. Self appreciation is not about appreciating what we do or achieve, but about appreciating the being that we are, and all that goes with that.
It takes one to know one Johanna! We can appreciate the qualities in others that we ourselves have. To be appreciating this depth of connection means that you have it too. Very beautiful.
I appreciate men a lot and yet I don’t always express my appreciation. Thank you for this reminder to speak up and share how I feel.
Me too Elaine, it is beautiful to express our appreciation for people around us, it leaves us feeling warm and tingly, it is confirming and deeply supportive for everyone. Why hold back expressing our appreciation when it can be so magical to express it?
Taking responsibility for our own feelings around men/others shouldn’t be a big ask, but if we haven’t accounted for our own hurts regarding men or others, we can inflict those unresolved emotions onto our relationships with others, and then judge them as lesser or lacking in some way. Better to fess up about what a situation brings up for us before we dive in and blame another.
Why are we so quick to mistrust? One man or woman behaves in a way that hurts us and we write-off the whole gender as being insensitive and unloving. Why is there even a saying, ‘being sworn off men’? But it’s not just men and women, some of us are sworn off humanity too. The more we can deal with and take responsibility for our hurts, the less blame and separation happens.
Johanna, this is beautiful to read. I have noticed how much more I appreciate people now that I have started appreciating myself, I did not used to appreciate people and would instead be judgmental and be in self doubt when communicating with people and so there was no true connection. Having been inspired by Universal Medicine courses and events to connect to the true me I have found that I have developed much more confidence in myself and I can now see my qualities and beauty and now i can also see this beauty in others, it is very lovely to feel.
” I now know what true connection feels like and I can have it with other people in my everyday activities.” This is gorgeous Johanna. All true connection begins with having a true loving connection with ourselves first.
As a woman I have always been very guarded with men, this year I am working in an all male team. I have at times found it confronting when I am asked to deal with challenging situations and I am learning to not harden up or be guarded when there is little communication. I am recognising how much is communicated through the body and how much men pick up on this- I know that I need to be more open and learn to express my enjoyment of them more.
Thank you your appreciation of men, we need more appreciation of men in the world to often I hear stereotypical moans about men, this can never be honouring of the real tender guy inside.
Thanks Johanna, you’ve reminded me of some of the male friends I have that I appreciate dearly, and whom I would not know how to appreciate had I not begun to start appreciating myself. I too was always very very vary of men, and the truth is…it’s often still there, particularly with those I don’t yet know. In the meantime as I open myself, I’m able to practice with those that I trust and feel comfortable with, and it’s awesome to see them as who they are and not as just the opposite sex.
Beautiful Johanna, I feel the same about the level of appreciation I now have for men and women. There has been a deepening of love within me that has allowed me to see the love in others.
Prior to Universal Medicine I was actually very protected around men and women but with men I just felt really awkward. It was like I didn’t know who I was so relating with the opposite sex was a bit of a mystery underneath all the gender roles people generally play out. Now I don’t meet so many men as my work is mostly women but I do meet fathers of the families I work with. One I met prior to his release from prison and what’s lovely is being able to connect with the very sensitive man beneath a lot of the outer impressions one could have bought into. The conversation was amazing. I know I wouldn’t have had this conversation had I still been relating to men in the stereotypes that I had kept them pigeon holed to before.
When a man reconnects to whom he truly is, he shines like a gem… And is an inspiration for all around him
It’s amazing how we can see or receive the world and how this is governed by how we see ourselves. If there is little appreciation for yourself then your eyes will very rarely also see this quality in others whereas if you bring this to yourself even if its through appreciating others first then the whole world will look different. We can have many views of the world and this depends on how you are with yourself, how you are in your internal world. What if our eyes don’t see but they receive and what if they have a filter on them that is controlled by how you see yourself, some may say be careful what you wish for. Appreciation is huge in this mix and if you spend time with it, no matter how small, it will feed you back in some way. If we all took the time to appreciate, truly appreciate the small or big things around us then the world would change. Would the look change? Well yes but the quality would change, how we are in the world would change. We only think we have no control over things and life just passes us by, when in fact we are the drivers of our choices. We only need to take more care in what we choose.
It’s interesting how we can be fooled by a false confidence in another especially (as in my case) by a man. I no longer fall for this and see it for what it is. This in turn allows me to see and feel the true qualities in another first and supports me to observe and not absorb.
When I start appreciating myself it is like opening the floodgates and I appreciate what I see everywhere. Appreciation of others just pours out and at the same time confirms what the other already knows about themselves. I feel a joyous giggle like bubbles inside when I see a man express his gentleness and warmth and express who they are.
It is joyous to be with people and see them for who they are, to see them in all their beauty and tenderness and deep care.
As a man its beautiful to read this, as its not about the things we do. The real gold comes from giving our full and undivided attention to another person… its about connection first. You don’t have to try at that, its not exhausting, and yet another feels the power and influence of our presence way more than what we can do for them.
On a certain level I first see all people as people and not so much as male, female, gay, black, child, old, fat or whatever. Certainly we all have different qualities, bodies, forms of expression etc. It seems when we first look at the outer difference without feeling the one loving essence we all share we create a form of separation which already stops us from truly connecting with each other.
As men letting go of the images we place on oursleves about the roles we play allows us to connect to the essence of who we are, the level of tenderness and caring nature. The more we appreciate and comfirm this in our bodies first the more others can truly appreciate it in us.
I too have been able to allow myself to see past the act many men put on in an attempt to dull or hide their sensitivity and awesomeness. Whilst it can be hurtful to feel, it’s understandable given the pressure society places on them to be a certain way. Just learning to appreciate them and all they bring really makes a difference in the interactions I have with Men, and that’s definitely something worth continuing.
Yes Elodie choosing to focus on a man’s qualities, i.e. naturally caring and gentle, and appreciate these qualities – and much more – instead of focusing on what he is not, is well worth learning. In fact, it is very beautiful when we allow ourselves to feel the true qualities within men, knowing who they are, regardless of how they may be choosing to live.
Quite simply if we are in appreciation of the amazing person we are our life is going to be flowing, joyful and loving. As soon we we stop appreciating ourselves we can not truly appreciative another and we will be constantly be relying on the outside world to confirm us rather then knowing who we are.
‘I love that I can see these amazing qualities in others and myself. I now know what true connection feels like and I can have it with other people in my everyday activities.’ Once we appreciate ourselves, our qualities it feels very natural to have appreciation for others, to connect to the love and tenderness in each other.
Knowing the essence and qualities I bring, accepting that’s my expression, appreciating I need be no more or no less, I am just me which makes it easy to meet others just as they are, no imposing energies makes for a simple joy full interchange, be it men, women and children.
Appreciation is gold. Learning to appreciate others – and myself – for who we are and not for anything we may do has made me realise how much there is to appreciate.
It is beautiful to feel your appreciation for these 2 men as they live their lives being true to themselves and meeting others in their loveliness. Like you I would, prior to attending Universal Medicine presentations, have failed to appreciate the depth of their tenderness as I had so little appreciation for myself and was so shut down to others that I lived in a fog of protection that kept others at a distance despite my longing for deeper connections.
As others have shared, that appreciation of others comes when we appreciate ourselves first. I would not be in the situations I find myself in, in the company of some very gorgeously tender men, if I myself had not chosen to care for myself in such a way that says ‘yes I deserve this company’. Because how we treat ourselves is often reflected in our environment and the company we have around us, it’s like the quality of relationships wants to group together and it shows.
For me what I am really beginning to truly feel in my body is the absolute true love and care Serge Benhayon has and holds for everybody. He never meets a person for their hurts or holds any grudges or his own hurts against them. This is making me realise how often I take things personally, hold hurts or past hurts against people, therefor never truly letting them in, or getting to feel how lovely they really are.
There are indeed so many truly gentle and tender men out there in life some still bound by the roles and expectations of life and many others who shine out in our daily lives unheralded and unseen.
I meet so many men on a day to day basis and I too am learning to deeply appreciate them for how tender, sensitive, caring and gorgeous they are. I have found that the more delicate and tender I allow myself to be with men the more they feel safe to express these same qualities in themselves.
This makes sense Elizabeth as it gives them an excuse to bring in the barriers or hardness techniques they have learned to use in life. I too have experienced that the level of tenderness I share can also allow another to melt and be of the same tenderness if they choose to.
I feel like true tenderness has the power to melt the hardest of hearts.
It is magical to be open to seeing the good that lies at the heart of people, to notice the faults perhaps but to focus on the qualities, and support another to share those qualities. The other day I was in a meeting with a very solemn and quite miserable women and I could feel how my response was to shut down and not be expressive and fun. Yet the exact opposite is actually needed for this person, they need to see the reflection of playfulness that is how I can live, and hard as it can be I must offer that reflection instead of saying, well if your miserable then i’m not coming out to play.
Very true Stephen. Being playful with someone can often bring them out of their misery and help them gain perspective or maybe they might react to your joy but either way reflecting a truth is very needed, for without it how will anyone ever know it is possible.
It’s interesting how often we don’t really listen to or meet people, we are just being pleasant or in it for ourselves. This feels horrible to feel. What would it look like if we genuinely did listen and care for people without any needs. What would it be like to be totally present with people, even if it was simply a hello, a conversation at the check out, or in a relationship with anybody, family, friends, partners, work colleagues. I don’t mean you have to spend hours with them having the most in-depth conversations, far from it, it’s more about the quality of presence and really being present in your own body, not checking out when you speak to them. This is something I am relearning, our movements, our presence in our body is far more powerful than any trying or trying/ conversation.
Absolutely Gyl. To just stand or sit there being in a way that listens and with a quality of presence rather than the game of thinking about what you’ll say when they have finished speaking. The latter has no true meeting or communication – just a way of taking turns making noise.
Hello Johanna, and it’s great to bring appreciation to the table like this. We can pick at and list peoples fault but we spend little time simply in appreciation of them. Regardless of what is happening why is our default seem to be the critique. Especially when the pressure is on why when we open the door is critique usually the first to walk in. There is another way as you are saying Johanna and in that way you see much much more. I am not saying drop the critique and just appreciate at first but at least allow 50/50. If the critique is there at least allow the same time spent on appreciating. Try this and just see if it makes a difference or allows you more space to breathe. I have found there is an internal dialogue around appreciating and not very often does it include you appreciating. If we know everything is linked or connected then how you think or act in one situation will either support or detract from the next. It would support then to add appreciation into the mix, into the recipe so then what you are making feeds us all.
When we don’t appreciate ourselves we tend to only see the negative in ourselves and therefore in others and often slip into comparison. When we appreciate ourselves and just how much we have to offer humanity our whole outlook on life and therefore our reflection to the world changes and becomes so much more uplifting for everyone.
This is so true Margaret. When I understood that my judgement of others came from me judging myself first I was able to work at appreciating, self caring and confirming myself knowing that it was supporting the truth of who I know myself to be, to be there more in my daily life. Also now if I ever feel another judging me I don’t take it personally as I use to but understand that that is the judgement they are imprisoning themselves with first. This has brought greater understanding.
The work of Serge Benhayon is deeply based on the way he values people. Like yourself Johanna, since beginning work with Serge studying through Universal Medicine I have become much more aware of people based on their qualities, and importantly – my own. As I open more to appreciating and understanding myself for who I am (and not what I do) I can offer that to others as well. In particular the care offered to men in Serge’s work has also touched me deeply, supporting and allowing men to live their true and natural qualities, not what society expects or has molded them to be. Seeing men in their full bloom so to speak is tremendously healing for everyone.
It is gorgeous to feel the truth that each of us bring a uniqueness and flavour to life in the way we express and from our true quality. And all this flavours and qualities are very needed to make the whole.
There is something very special about people who are able to connect with others and give them their full attention. It does as you say Johanna lift other people up. We are engaged in a world with many distractions and so this feels like it is rarer, but perhaps not, it is great to appreciate when we feel these qualities in another and it makes it easier to trust people when we see the love that they have in them. For me there should never be a divide between men and women and yet if I am honest I actually find women easier to trust than men. That is something to work on for sure as I also know a great many beautifully gentle and trustworthy men.
Someone meeting another in and with connection says ‘I am not giving up on life and I am worth a great deal, just as you are’ – it really does restore a trust back into society to see people in connection with themselves and others.
Amazing, this is unlocking many of the ways women express to men, and the ways men express to women.
Like you Johanna I can say that I used to have little regard or trust in men. In the past few years this has changed with me learning to deeply appreciating all men for who, in essence, they truly are; this has basically come about by me learning to appreciate and trust myself. A lovely reminder thank you Joh.
It is beautiful and very healing to feel a woman talk of men in this way, with such openness and love. This confirms the tenderness, and beauty that lives within all men and woman and that there is far more there than our ingrained patterns and behaviours may show.
Yes it is beautiful, perhaps not common but most certainly very normal and natural. And it’s also a confirmation of the tenderness that a woman has in herself and knows consciously or a tenderness a woman has in herself but perhaps is not living yet the beautiful tender men are a reminder of it.
It is lovely to appreciate another’s unique qualities and to know that they are all a reflection of who we truly are.
Serge Benhayon has been a remarkable inspiration for not boxing men (or women) into pre-conceived ideas or a stereotype and really started to see below the outer layers to feel the wealth of beauty inside. I have now felt over and over how we are all equal, and each carry a particular flavour or essence that makes us unique. This has been a very joyful and freeing experience when meeting men to feel and appreciate the essence, rather than go in with pre-conceived ideas that limit our relationship. There is so much more to men and people in general, than meets the eye. I also find that when I can see the ‘more’ in them, they allow it out more too.
He is (Serge Benhayon) with every movement exemplifying our innateness and constantly breaking the so called boxing paradigms of what we have fallen for yo be a man or to be a woman just by his pure reflection and encompassing loving way.
There are so many patterns of reaction that we women go into when we relate to a man, if we are not connected with our bodies and responding to the reality of what we feel. We can get played by reacting to their inappropriate attention or put walls up just in case, or play less, stupid or cute. Whatever we go into, we don’t get to offer all that we are as women and we don’t get to feel all that men have to offer.
“I used to see men more for the roles they played, or what they could do for me, or for their family”. I recently overheard a conversation along these lines, as I have many times before. It is usually a woman talking about how they or another woman has found the ‘man of their dreams’. The reasons why he is the man of their dreams sadly includes quite high up on the list, things the man can do for them, like fix things around the house or look after the kids when needed. This feels like such a de-valuing of what men can truly bring to a relationship, just being who they are. I feel this attitude is consciously or unconsciously shared by most women and something we need to shed for our relationships to become deeper, equal and genuine.
Yes looking back now, i appreciated men for what they could do, fix or solution-find, and not for who they were through their qualities of gentlemanliness although this was something i always remember wanting especially in a partner, and considered it often as me being a bit old-fashioned, in some sort of dream or not of this time, more like in the 1930’s ; ) because the males i grew up with did not express such qualities or show their tenderness to make it a possibility for me to have in my life back then. With the warmth and love of myself over these past few years to today, not only came the warmth and love of men together now with very definiteness of this being there in a potential future partner, but also as a single woman, the allowance to actually receive this from a man, openly, and without any dynamic.
“They are not shut down or dismissive, racy, forceful or imposing; instead they are patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring” – how gorgeous Johanna, there is nothing to not appreciate about a guy who lives with such qualities reflective of their natural gentle-manly nature.
Very true Zofia. It also shows just how much we all do appreciate these lovely natural qualities in men when they allow them to be there.
These qualities just make our hardness melt away.
Thank you Johanna for such a great blog, I can relate to what you share as in the past I too did not fully appreciate men. As I have learnt to develop more appreciation and acceptance of myself I have found it much easier to acknowledge and truly appreciate the different qualities that men bring.
And also to add for me when I look back on it – we are conditioned to expect certain genders to play roles and only see people for the roles they play and rate them on how well they play them or meet the needs we want them to fill – but – none of this allows another to be or sees them for their true unique innate qualities and tenderness.
I too had little true appreciation for men especially if they didn’t fit the image of how I wanted them to be, and I would not let then in to my life. The men you describe in your blog Johanna, I would have in the past dismissed or not noticed. I can see now that it was through lack of appreciation for myself that I was not able to appreciate the beauty in these men you describe. Now I enjoy the company of such men for they offer a reflection of what it is to be a true man, someone who is willing to stay true to themselves, in a world that demands them to toughen up and be strong.
Working as an educator in childcare, you’re generally around women all day, so it is so lovely when every now and then we have a male educator from an agency. You really notice the difference and can feel that steadiness and care that is different to a woman’s but very complimentary.
I agree Julie. And the kids love a make around too.
Appreciation is more about the qualities than about gender, seeing men in this light has us open up, without the stereotypical judgements to the unique qualities they are here to bring … and as a balance to the qualities we bring as women.
As women we can only truly appreciate men when we appreciate ourselves. I had hardly any appreciation for myself 5 years ago and I had pretty much given up on men fast forward to now and it’s a whole different story. The more I love myself the more I allow myself to appreciate the reflection of beauty and sensitivity that men provide.
This is what appreciation is about, never about what we do but how we do it, our qualities. ‘I love that I can see these amazing qualities in others and myself. I now know what true connection feels like and I can have it with other people in my everyday activities. Beautiful Johanna.
I feel that there is much to grow and develop on the ‘appreciating’ front for both us women and men. We are only every able to appreciate in full someone else if we have developed appreciation for ourselves. This is definitely an unfolding process for me personally, I do agree that is much to appreciate in men and also for us.
Yes I found too that through appreciation of myself I am able to see the beauty in others equally that in the past I just would not notice. Without self-appreciation life gets really functional and there is no true beauty seen in others or life in general either. True appreciation is a great bridge to a beauty-full life.
I love that Lieke. ‘A great bridge to a beautiful life’
It is truly beautiful when men begin to live the gentle, caring, tenderness that is their birthright but that is mostly knocked out of them early on by the pressure to conform to the plethora of images and values they are bombarded with about what it is to be a man.
Thank you Johanna, when you described the men on your blog I felt a sense that I could breath more fully. It was a really subtle observation in my body but I just felt a sense that we would be cared for, that we could be a team. I recognise it from moments with men in my life when they are at their most tender and caring. It is a strength that makes me feel so safe, not so much from danger, but from a deep knowing that everything is as it should be, no one trying or faking, just being themselves.
Yes I can relate Lucy. This cared for feeling you speak of is like because the men are tender and caring of themselves, women and children will also be held with this same quality.
It’s really inspiring look and connect with those men who emanate their purest essence. They are a mirror in which I love to look at me. A good reminder who says to me that I also can be the woman that I am, expressing my divine essence.
So true Amparo. And for me the deeper and more trusting that I allow myself to go with that connection with myself and men then the more glory I feel and of course it is all a beautiful confirmation of who we all naturally are. At the moment I am working on allowing myself to be more vulnerable with others and bring more honesty to relationships – this I am finding brings more depth to that which has already been built.
To arrive at a place where I could appreciate men, I had to appreciate myself first. It seems near impossible to appreciate others if we are not doing the same for ourselves. Once I began appreciating myself, it was a flow on effect to appreciate others. I did not have to try or make an effort, it was just there. It was as though suddenly I had just opened my eyes to all the beauty around me.
As a woman I have spent much of my life either playing games with men or shutting them out – both of which meant I missed out on the true beauty of men. In the last few years I have dropped a lot of what I carried towards men and have seen them for who they are without attaching any labels that I imposed purely because of gender. I’m glad I changed my ways as I now have more than a few gorgeous tender men in my life.
If we do not appreciate our men we can not appreciate anyone. This might sound hard, but appreciation is indeed an equality, that can not be bound, found or given to one person.. Yes of course there might be a different expression when you share something with someone, depending on the person and your relationship with him/her. But overall respect is our number one – and we must live it first within ourselves, our bodies, our spirit and so our we connect back to the love – we are, as we are One Soul.
Very beautiful Johanna. All is simply being shared – with the title. It says it all.
When we see that beauty in another we feel it in ourselves as well, reading this blog makes yesterday at work make a lot of sense while serving and meeting the customers. Some may not on the outside respond back in kind and others did but neither interaction was more special as in the moments of that acknowledgement not being returned it didn’t matter. We all have choices and what Serge Benhayon presents is that even if that light within isn’t shining outwardly it is still there inside us. If another chooses to not shine that doesn’t mean I can’t feel the light we both have within us within me, but without any lights turned on we are all left in the dark so to feel that light within and let another see it regardless is vital and when they respond in kind that light is beautiful to see from men and women.
I am really looking people into their eyes, men as well, at work, on the street, where ever I go, and this does a lot, for myself but also for them. Where in the past I would feel akward or thought that I could not do this because the men might think I want something, I now experience that is really about connecting, meeting and appreciating them. The response is wonderful.I mean, who does not want to be met and have a moment of true presence and appreciation?
Every person is reflecting so much all the time, it just whether or not we choose to see this and bring awareness to it.
This very beautiful Johanna, and can feel how it is about appreciating ourselves first, than we are able to truly see others peoples qualities.
Men and women in our present world do use each other a lot for what we want and want to get, treating each other almost like objects and the bringers of what we do not take responsibility to give to ourselves. There is a lot of needs and expectations, control and giving away of power, all made to look normal. If men and women come together in a contract which is based on hurts, naturally these arrangements will be fueled by hurts. Sounds familiar? This is not just between men and women, but it is the scenario of our world. Coming back to the foundation of any relationship, if we first and foremost appreciate the value of ourselves, knowing our worth and preciousness so deep, we will see more of where our foundation is compromised, and when we keep coming back to appreciating the value of ourselves consistently, we will start to build a new and strong foundation based on love.
Yes, so supportive to bring awareness to what are we making the foundation of our relationships to be? One of hurts and seeking what we are not giving ourselves? Or one based on appreciation and valuing ourselves and love?
I am definitely up for appreciating each other more, we all, in both men and women, have so many amazing, beautiful qualities, life would be so different if we stopped comparing ourselves with each other, stopped being jealous of what another has or where another is, and simply appreciated each other’s amazing qualities. This is a change I am definitely up for making happen!
Letting people in, seeing and appreciating them for who they truly are is only possible when we have healed our hurts, developed an selfloving relationship with ourselves and are able to accept and appreciate who we are. Otherwise we cannot fully see others in their real nature as we will taint them with our needs and hurts.
This beautiful article brings the true appreciation we can all have for each other and ourselves and is the key to life in harmony, joy, love and consistency in every way.This allows us to build true love in our lives and be who we naturally are expressing this is full .Thank you.
Johanna I love the acknowledgement of the two men you have met, as I am also appreciating the men that have worked on a house renovation with me for the past eight months. The weather has brought a delay to finishing so much communication and understanding has been shared, and I have to say these guys have been the sweetest, most considerate lovely men, we have had such a beautiful time together and if asked about the actual Job, they would say is been one of the most fraught projects, with continual rain, mud slides and delays. None of that has impacted our constant connection throughout and I am loving the opportunity to build such an honouring relationship with these two men.
A person’s integrity can be felt clearly in their interaction with others. Many of the fine details you have mentioned Johanna like gentle and constant eye contact, open and warm interaction all invite a person to connect. These qualities can be found in both men and women, and hearing of your experience with these two amazing men is unfitting and inspiring – they are two of many who are leading the way for others to follow.
As I allow myself to surrender more into my body, I fall deeper in love with my own tenderness.
“I have connected to and can appreciate the deeply loving person I am and can also see and feel others to be.” It’s wonderful to feel appreciation for oneself, a new marker of love in our body and the outflow of love and appreciation in all others. There certainly are many many things to be appreciative for but I have taken many of them for granted, it’s great to come out of this fog and to have more awareness of myself, others and life.
I am continuously blown away with just how much we learn from others reflections. A beautiful support if we so choose to see it.
It occurred to me how rare it is for us to stop and appreciate another for who they are and express that appreciation, whilst complements and praise for what we do, how we look etc. are far more common.
This is so true Fumiyo, we are more comfortable complementing someone on their clothes or a job well done. It’s quite sad when we think that all our life people only ever seem to notice the things we do outside of us and put so much value on those things, and we are really pleased to receive the praise – it’s a poor substitute and deep down we know it.
I recently got in touch with some old male friends that I lost touch with years ago. I could say that it was because of busy lives that we stopped communicating, but if I’m truly honest, it was because I judged them. Now that I have been in touch with them, I can really feel how beautiful and lovely they are. They are a blessing to have in my life.
To meet Serge, Michael & Curtis Benhayon one cannot but feel their absolute presence. Many can choose to misinterpret what they feel as it may bring up and reflect so much to them. The truth however is that they are reflecting everything that that person is too. For me meeting the Benhayon’s has showed me the essence of us all and allowed me the grace to appreciate men too in a safe and loving environment.
I have found so often that I have been judged for being a man and stereotyped because of it, without the person knowing me from a bar of soap. Its great to know that all men are just as gentle and sweet inside, its just a matter of seeing that beauty and coaxing it out with a bit of the old appreciation.
Kevin I have always been a man fan and have had many male friends, I have appreciated the balance a man brings and felt safe to be me, without competition, judgement or jealously. I’m afraid I had lost those friendships and fell into ‘tarring men with the same brush’ now have been rebuilding my connections and once again seeing and feeling the true gift a man is and brings.
Appreciation is such powerful and under used way of expressing how we feel. Before Universal Medicine I never stopped to appreciate anything or anyone least of all myself, preferring to find and confirm my faults. Learning to stop and make the time and space to appreciate everyone around me including myself, has allowed me to see the hardness I can go into when I get negative and disparaging thoughts.
Johanna what you have presented here is really lovely. I can relate to what you share – I too had pretty much reduced my appreciation of men (and women) to the various roles they represented rather than experience them in their natural loveliness. Conversely, thanks to Universal Medicine, I am also meeting men who are prepared also to be more than their roles and present themselves in full as sensitive and vulnerable people, no different in most respects to women. And the women too are softening as they return to their natural selves, myself included. It occurs to me if we all met each other as we did when we were at kindergarten, there would be a lot more appreciation in the world, and love and harmony. I am seeing these qualities in people outside of Universal Medicine too – particularly when I take all of me to those meetings.
I have made a similar development in my life like you Johanna. First, I had almost no appreciation for me and others and since I started to appreciate myself, I can see the beauty in others as well. It looks like that all our problems are in our relationship to ourselves and once we have taken responsibility for our hurts, unresolved issues, the problem with the outer world disappears.
The key word here is responsibility. We like to live in a culture of blame – blaming others for everything from the state of the world to various misdemeanours but in truth this is a fairly fruitless task. How we experience the world is up to us and how we are in the world is too. En masse we can say we’ve dropped the responsibility ball and that much is true but rather than waiting for politicians to fix it or others to ‘get it’ the place we can actually effect real change is within ourselves. And in doing so we can reflect a different way to others.
Alexander your comment makes me smile, so many years of looking at the outer world and wondering why my life was not what I felt it could be. Then to find the responsibility starts within me to bring a change and the outer world shifts also… life changing when we take responsibility and begin to deeply appreciate where we are all from and where we are returning to.
Yes me to Amina; Appreciating myself and others has become a daily activity for me too. It made sense that this was missing from my life. To put it this way my thoughts were never really positive about myself or life. I grew up absorbing what others did or said; and felt how I was dismissed or not included most of the time. I took others behaviours on before I appreciated and created the space to nurture and honour myself in full.
Valuing myself is a way of life now – trusting others only comes from trusting yourself and giving it a go. Most of my family and friends were the same unaware how to self-care, and missing the know-how to build what you love to do and how you do it. It is a must to know how to value and appreciate yourself. One organization that leads this revolution is Universal Medicine.
Dear Johanna it was a great joy to read your beautiful blog as I love it very much if people are appreciating each other. That is for me how life should be to see the beauty in each other and share this without holding back. Thank you so much for being a role model in showing that appreciation is something that is not only positive for the person who got the appreciation but also had a lovely positiv effect for the one who did the appreciation.
This is such an amazing read. I too had suffered with not appreciating men before I came to Universal Medicine and I feel it is very beautiful that you speak of now seeing and appreciating men’s beauty. I also love how you speak of also appreciating your own amazingness, for everything is a reflection. Whatever we see in others, good or bad, we must first see in ourselves. I am still coming to grips with this fact and learning to appreciate other people’s reflections for what is being presented to me in that moment. Learning to take the rough with the smooth!
Before having met Serge Benhayon I had little trust in most men. I felt unheard, treated subserviently, and gave my power away to them to avoid conflict, to be accepted and loved.
Since meeting Serge , his sons and other men at Universal medicine workshops my trust in men has been restored as I have learnt to open my heart more and let people in. As I am learning to appreciate me more I am equally learning to appreciate others for who they are first , and not for what they can do for me.
We often hear in our media and culture about the ‘battle of the sexes’. This is a very unhelpful catch-cry, used to position one half of humanity against the other, often for entertainment or to attempt to ‘explain’ why men and women are so different. All this does is strengthen the so-called divide between us, where none need exist and in truth does not exist. Men and women are far more alike than different and we need to embrace that rather than continue with our current, false, adversarial stance and stand-off.
“I love that I can see these amazing qualities in others and myself. ” Thank you Johanna, this seems such an important sharing and wonderful to also share back, that appreciating the amazing qualities of ourselves and others, has offered a new foundation for life, whenever this balance of holding myself and others in equal-ness has occurred.
When I deeply come to appreciate myself I can not but feel the love and appreciation for all others. It is a flow of love that I find that pours out and I see more and more that we are all the same beauty and love in essence regardless of gender
Appreciation is the joy of love….when we appreciate ourselves and each other, we are celebrating love!
This is simply gorgeous, appreciating these men for who they are, and not because they ‘fit’ some idea of how men should be before we appreciate them. Appreciation is such a beautiful word and when we bring appreciation into our lives, start to value ourselves and there is a joy…in appreciating another, it opens up connection between us and thus there is an expansion…such is the joy of love, love joins us together.
I felt the same Johanna. I did not appreciate other men, or women. Since I have met and experienced a loving relationship with Serge Benhayon, my acceptance and appreciation of my elders has totally changed. Serge was a stranger and not long after he quickly became a father figure. Sometimes I feel it is the only person I trust just because of how he deeply meets you with no judgement. To me that just shows how much I have been hurt when I was love. Because this man meets you for who you are and respects all men and women no matter their past choices, it’s inspiring to do the same.
How tender is the man in this photograph. To know men with such quality, care and tenderness is something to deeply, deeply appreciate. You don’t see this everyday but truly inspiring to feel.
Yes Donna…..i feel all men have such qualities, it’s just many don’t live their naturalness for many reasons and its almost like they don’t have permission in society to do so. Yet it is naturally who they are! A man may show this in moments, and in appreciating those moments can support him to be that more.
How wonderful for these men to have, “held on to the beautiful tenderness and self-connection they would have had as young boys”. And how amazing it would be, and how the world would be a very different place, if all young boys were raised and lovingly encouraged to hold this natural connection to themselves, and to never let go of their innate tenderness. It makes my heart sing just feeling the joy-filled possibility.
Beautiful to read your blog again Johanna – and appreciate how much my approach towards men has changed over the last few years. For most of my life I have viewed men as if they were a different species, and I have approached them with suspicion feeling that there was always a hidden agenda. As I have opened up to more love within myself I can appreciate that underneath all the protection and guard we are all the same. I really value the moments that I spend with men who are comfortable with being themselves as they have nothing to hide. When a life is lived with integrity and love we are each allowing the world to see how precious and tender we innately are.
I can feel how appreciating ourselves brings the possibility to really appreciate others for their beautiful qualities we all have.
Johanna, the beginning of appreciation towards ourselves is a feeling of Initiation, as it opens up so much to appreciate in the world, which then feeds back and sustain a deeper appreciation to ourselves, it is just an amazing, powerful and evolutionary cycle to be in.
Beautifully expressed Adele! Appreciation is magical!
Thank you Johanna, it is like these false pictures we have of how men are, keep us all trapped in a loop. The true picture is how you have it here, that Men are delicate and super nurturing human beings. Absolutely, the more we nurture this and appreciate it in ourselves the more we can see and support this quality in every man.
Appreciation and love for ourselves and for others comes hand in hand and is a joy to read about and know for myself.There are more and more people living true to themselves and bringing back a connection and true love to their lives and one can only appreciate this with joy and reflection to humanity. True connection with each other is something we all crave and love is our only way of being in truth.
Living a way that is worth appreciating is something I am starting to enjoy. Honouring these true values of being a man, “strength in tenderness”, and the responsibility we all have to embody this is where the fun begins.
I love this Phil, “strength in tenderness” very powerful!
Underneath all men are this tenderness, that is what I can sense. Great that there are more men allowing to show their other side, their true side. The world needs it very much, for sure.
It is through accessing our tenderness that we are able to naturally care for others, without feeling our own tenderness the depth of our caring can’t go as deep.
Appreciation for myself and for men at the same level has changed my life, to really listen and hold a very caring level of eye contact throughout a conversation and allowing another to just be is beautiful and so much more than shallow talk, small talk.
I agree Shirley, it interesting the more I honour the preciousness in me the more I am seeing the true tenderness men naturally have. It is beautiful to watch men express their tenderness, I know at times I have found it exposing if I am in a rush and being quite hard in my movements it’s a great reflection that always brings me back.
Beautiful Shilrey-Ann… and as women we only need to hold men in that tenderness for them to be able to feel it.
Oh I agree, to be held in and be known as that tenderness is balm to the man; it allows him to re-establish a sense of himself and let go of the layers that keep him in disconnection to who he innately is. Quite the opposite to what happens when we are held in the falseness of what men erroneously have become as then they are confirmed in the falseness and don´t know anything else, hence the great responsibility men and women equally hold to support each other in knowing who they truly are beyond any images, roles, needs and hurts that have been imposed and then accepted. The cycle of falseness needs to be stopped to set all of us free of any images of what it means to be a man or a woman so that we finally can just be who we are as men and women.
Johanna I really loved reading this blog and I could relate to much of what you had written. When we feel beyond the ‘roles’ of men and women, and feel them as people, and what each person brings – we open ourselves up to a much deeper level of connection with and appreciation of people.
… & as mentioned in the comments above, this all becomes possible by opening ourselves up to ourselves – stopping to see ourselves as just the roles we play, and feeling the depth of who we are.
Exactly Brooke, seeing ourselves in our realness with no pretence or façade and connecting to that rich and amazing part of us is definitely where its at.
We are multidimensional beings who are operating on a very one dimensional level. We see ourselves and others for the job titles and roles that we play but we don’t tap into the deep and beautiful beings that we all are. We are selling ourselves so short by living this way because there is a depth and a richness to life that we’re just not accessing.
For the past two weekends I have talked to many of the students who attended the workshops as run by Universal Medicine and the men there are just so gorgeous and tender, and what I find inspiring is that they are so comfortable being so and allowing it to be seen and felt – so much so that a hard gesture or a sharp word would stand out enormously as aggressive.
Man or woman, different expressions but in truth we are all the same. There is so much beauty and understanding of others when we can truly feel that all of our particles come from God.
Simply gorgeous reminder Donna – ‘ There is so much beauty and understanding of others when we can truly feel that all of our particles come from God.’ – Very true!
Yes Joanna it is wonderful when we see those amazing qualities in others like taking the time to stop and really listen and hold a caring level of eye contact. It’s also about all of us letting each other in ! Thank you for sharing.
I also see with true connection there is no need to talk a lot, but expressing with the eyes and an inner smile, is enough, no big conversations needed when the hearts are talking and that does not need to be the partner, every man that I meet at the street, at the supermarket, at the petrol station… is worth a deeper connection, I am offering this space to meet each other, and not hiding myself anymore.
Beautifully expressed Johanna, such a great reminder to take moments to truly connect to everyone we meet and appreciate all the qualities they bring. I know in the past I have held this back especially with men as I felt it may be misunderstood, I now can feel how men don’t get to feel valued enough, because if I have held back this expression to men I am sure others have as well. The more I deepen my appreciation of myself I notice I am naturally more open to others and then how simple it becomes to accept and appreciate everyone – especially the men in my life.
I can relate to your words here Anna about holding back because you feel your appreciation of a man may be misunderstood and it has given me cause to stop and reflect what actually takes place for me beforehand. My mind can tell me that, if I momentarily let that thought in, but when I have just let go and expressed what is there to express in appreciation of another, the other person has felt the truth of it and their whole body language changes. It reminds me that love, only sees love.
What did make us to go about men in this way? I as a man have experienced the same, holding back my tenderness and appreciation towards other men and holding a reservedness in my interactions with men is so debilitating in two ways. Firstly I do not truly meet the other men and I hold them in that picture of being rough an tough, and secondly I do not appreciate myself as being a sensitive and tender man. The following line of Johanna says it all for me: “These are men to admire, who definitely have qualities worth appreciating” and to me that can be said for all men in the world.
“I now know what true connection feels like and I can have it with other people in my everyday activities.”
Thank you Johanna, what a beautiful and, for me, timely blog … I’ve been letting myself get overwhelmed at work with the amount that needs doing and choosing to cut off from people I interact with – not a good space to live one’s day from – now I’ll be dropping that behaviour and being the lovely me, both with others and with myself.
That feels so good that you came back to yourself and allowing your lovely being to be with all of us. I have too, learned to show myself to people and I am loving it to make connections, it is the best gift and blessing for me – meeting people in the heart. Nothing sweeter- no chocolate can give me that experience of love with deep and true connections.
I love and enjoy being in the presence of women, but equally in the presence of men as they reflect another aspect of me for me to appreciate and feel in the fullness of being a woman. There’s no need in this just an appreciation of what they bring that reflects that one half of the whole. So we can feel the maleness and femaleness in equal-ness. Thank you men.
It is equally important as wonderful to receive the reflection of each gender to fully develop ourselves as the man or woman that we are; it brings out the parts that lie in the shadows so that they can be healed and it lets shine bright the glory for all to enjoy and celebrate.
Johanna, I can relate to this very much. I have come to really appreciate the qualities that each and every man brings to humanity. I never had that respect growing up and it feels really beautiful to have them as equals, in the love and respect they deserve.
That’s gorgeous to read Donna – I feel this is very much still a work in progress for me!
What a lovely confirmation of your love and appreciation of yourself Sue. I totally agree that as we deepen our own appreciation of ourselves we can see and appreciate more in another. This has been my experience also.
Yes Victoria, mine too, and have also found appreciating another closes the door on critique, and when as a receiving person we feel not just left alone and un-imposed upon as a result of this, but rather held and honoured through the appreciation, there is more alignment and cohesion, in other words brotherhood can be, and where there is brotherhood, there is always purpose.
The more we appreciate ourselves we in turn can appreciate others, has been my experience, this includes men and everyone. A beautiful post thank you Johanna.
“Patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring”, yes this is absolutely what I now know Men to be Johanna. I didn’t always see it this way. Growing up men seemed to be macho and kind of frightening. When we step out of the boxes and stereotypes we have grown up in we can bring so much tenderness to ourselves and life.
Yeah, I even didn´t really know how to relate with men as they were different to how I felt as a man. All the roles and stereotypes can be a real hindrance to meet the true man. But that has very much changed since I have allowed myself more and more to just be who I am as a man; now I can see through the roles and protections and always meet at least a part of the true man and deliver as much of my realness as possible, which allows the other to open up.
The mental checklist that both genders have toward each other is quite a hurtful way to enter a relationship. If either does not make the mark, then it’s one strike against the other and the beginning of the end, and soon enough the relationship is on a rocky road. The stereotyped image of women from men is very real, as it is for women with a belief that the ‘ideal’ person actually exists in this ‘role’ of a man or a woman.
There are much reasons why to deeply appreciate men.
There are some qualities and there is a beauty they carry and share with the world that really make a difference. Their simplicity, understanding of life, strength, delicateness, holding power make up a beautiful combination that deserves to be cherished and celebrated.
We recently lost the only male staff member at my work and I really feel the loss of the quality that he brought to our centre. That quality that only a man can bring, that strong tenderness and care, equal to a woman but different in how it invisibly holds you.
There is nothing lovelier than being in the presence of a truly gentle and tender man.
I agree! It is not something I have been exposed to very much as a child growing up – but wow it’s life changing.
It ‘undoes’ me every time and, yes as Donna says, it’s life-changing.
Through appreciation we cut out all those niggley things that get in the way of us loving ourselves and each other.
When we let go of the beliefs about men that have been imposed upon us from childhood, we can clearly appreciate the true, tender beings that they are.
So true, Susan. Once we appreciate all that we are, we will have a marker to also see that in others and not get distracted by the behaviours or reactions they might show. We will then realize that in our essence we are all the same: love.
Yes me too Amina – ” Actively appreciating others and myself has become a daily activity that I really enjoy.” It feels so natural now and is so easy – there are so many many opportunities to express appreciation to our self and others, and it makes such a difference in everyone’s life when this is part of our daily lives.
“Whenever I am around each of them I feel met and cared for because each of them takes the time to stop, really listen and hold a very caring level of eye contact throughout the conversation.” What I love most about connecting with people is the intimacy you feel when you look into someone’s eyes. There is such depth there and it’s like you are hugging them with your eyes. Gorgeous.
Appreciating others for the qualities they bring to the world, allows for an opening and deepening in our relationships, as you have shown so beautifully with the men in your life here Johanna. Thank you.
I love the photo in this blog. A gorgeous man sharing his beautiful smile with us all, not holding back from expressing his tenderness. Great role model for men.
I agree Mary-Louise it is a beautiful picture of a grown, mature man with the openness of a young boy, letting you completely into his heart – it feels so lovely.
I too have come to appreciate and love many men that are in my life. In the past I have not given myself permission to love men as I would always confuse this love as it meaning I needed to be in an intimate relationship with what ever man I was loving at the time…nuts really. It is so liberating to be able to love them with no conditions and truly appreciate their qualities and be able to express this openly with them and develop ever deepening relationships with all the men in my life.
After reading this beautiful sharing today I could feel myself expand and appreciate the men (and women) in my life. To truly appreciate the qualities of another is to first be open ourselves with no hidden agendas and expectations. To observe or to be the receiver of this flow of love/connection with another is a true gift and brings me back to feeling that we all (everyone) have this remarkable/amazing inner quality (love) to share and bring to our everyday living ways.
That’s beautiful Marion, and so true. I’m finding that as I open up to accepting and appreciating myself more for all that I am with no judgement, I naturally appreciate others so much more. This is such a contrast to the way I have lived in the past which kept me from truly being open with people.
What your have shared Johanna busts the stereotypical image of the male needing to be “macho” to be accepted.
Men connected to their gentleness, tenderness and love within is awesome to feel, and their natural essence.
I am very touched by your deep appreciation Johanna! It is very inspiring as it is so important to stop and acknowledge the people that are in our lives and not just the ones close to us, but those more on the periphery as well, this is what fills life with the richness of love and joy.
I absolutely agree with you Judith. I am realising more and more how important it is to deeply appreciate all those in our lives and those we meet in the course of each day. Every single person is as precious as we are, and they all bring with them, as you say so beautifully: “the richness of love and joy”; such a divine gift.
In addition to my last comment, I realize, that true connection is appreciation and true appreciation is connection and that both has a naturally evolving quality.
I love what you share here with us Stefanie. ‘True connection is appreciation’ and ‘true appreciation is connection’ how would we naturally evolve if we did not have those two important natural ingredients to the recipe of ‘life’.
Your blog Johanna lets me open up to the deep joy and healing quality of appreciation and connection. And how powerful it is to express, what I appreciate and love of another. It is like connecting to a genuine common shared level of the “what is” and how it finds its expression through different persons. When you described these two men with all your appreciation in their qualities I see how beautiful it is to do so with everyone around me. Feels like connection and appreciation are from the same “familiy”.
It is so beautiful what you share Johanna. Some people are very open to everyone whereas with others their openness can be a reflection of our own openness. I remember once visiting a place and feeling how absolutely gorgeous and loving everyone was and a friend of mine had exactly the opposite experience – that was a real eye opener for me. The truth is that everyone is naturally very loving and gorgeous and are only not when they are in protection.
Yes Nicola – I have had the experience of meeting people with reservation and judgment and they all felt hard and withdrawn. Then later meeting the same people with an open heart and totally without judgment of them and they all felt as you said, gorgeous and loving. We need to always look at what we are bringing to the situation ourselves.
Yes I agree Eva, what we bring to all situations is a true reflection of what is going on within our selves.
This is so beautiful, there is so many amazing men out there, everywhere. When men allow themselves to get over their hurts and bring all of them to the world, they are naturally tender, caring and loving, as this is who they are in truth.
The same applies to all people – men and women!
All the stereotypical qualities ascribed to men are false. They are gorgeously caring, gentle, present and compassionate people who carve to un-stereotyped as much as women do. It is a delight to read your blog again Johanna, in so much that it unravels the box the world enslaves men in.
I have developed a deeper appreciation for men since I have been going to Universal Medicine workshops and events. When I first started attending the events I never noticed any of the men that were also attending. I actually didn’t have any male friends at all, the trust was so gone that I avoided them all together. Now I have many beautiful men in my life that I love deeply and trust without question.
To open up for each other is the key for a more harmonious, valuable, connected life on earth.
Nothing beats a simple loving connection with someone. No trying, no proving, no justifying, just love. These moments are ones I truly treasure and wish to have more of in life.
Harrison I agree whole heartedly with you, the moments I cherish in life is when I deeply connect with another. When I do not connect with another I notice how my energy drops, I do not like the feeling of being with some-one but not really being with them at all. I realise I dis-connect from me, so this is my responsibility to stay connected at all times, then at least I have my connection with my self and if the other does not want to connect that is okay as I walk away with me.
Beautiful Harrison – it is so simple when we are just ourselves.
So true Harrison, being open and connected to another is simply gorgeous.
When being with children in the classroom it is easy to see that when young boys are not supported to stay connected to their feelings they have to numb and bury them because they think that other boys will pick on them. Boys like this develop a tough outer shell and can often be the ones who intimidate, or bully others so that they are the ones that don’t get picked on. They do the very thing to other boys they are most afraid of happening to themselves. All boys are sensitive by nature and to not present this to the world is a tragedy and a calamity for all of us.
Since reading this blog last week I was looking at the men around-at the train station, on the street, in the shop, on the bus- and appreciating their qualities without knowing them. It was like looking into my favorite kaleidoscope-not only different faces, shapes, colors,ages, but expressions of- affection, tenderness, care, fun, focus, determination, professionalism, maturity, child-likeness,seriousness, attention, curiosity, creativity, sense of adventure,humor, compassion, style, intimacy. How not to appreciate?
What a fun way to go through this world: watch out and appreciate!
I love this Elena. Taking a moment to observe everyone go about their day in their own way, you cannot but help appreciate the qualities we each bring to our world. A timely reminder that even a stop moment there is much to be seen and appreciated.
There are so many men who have not been seen for who they truly are as children, therefore have walked away from this tenderness and grace. Such a tragedy, when these men clearly have so much to offer us in their true state of being. It is up to us to be with ourselves as parents and really see and meet our children for who they are so they may grow into the gorgeous adults they were always meant to be.
Yes Kate we all have a responsibility to raise our kids to know who they truly are so that they can go out into the world with a natural confidence that comes from a connection with them selves and doesn’t rely on them needing to do anything to please or seek recognition from another.
What a beautiful comment Amina. Simplicity, honouring and appreciation – the perfect recipe for a life of love.
When we connect to ourselves and choose to be open, it is wondrous what we can see and appreciate.
This is so true Michelle M Ryan, when we truly connect to ourselves, we feel that others are equally as amazing and full of love.
Johanna, when I read this blog it sings with appreciation for men. But in a way that is truly honouring and respectful of who men truly are before they are the roles that society expects them to be. More and more I have been seeing mens fragility and tenderness and it has just broken down the belief that they should be ‘strong providers’
Sure I would still ask a man to open a jar I can’t undo or lift a box that is heavy, but for me that is their support because their muscles allow this, rather than a role just because they are a man. It has shown me that we are all the same within and we are all wanting love. I am really honoured to start to see the truth behind the roles.
That’s a great realisation Hannah, asking for support because of muscles/greater physical strength, and not because of any role due to male gender. In other words expectation. Expectation leads to performing, and in the end only leads to resentment which ruins any relationship. Appreciating and honouring the person, not for what they can do or provide as ‘the provider’ allows for there to be love. And love expands any relationship.
Seeing men’s tenderness and expressing to them as this tenderness could be an opening for them to feel and see that within themselves, or it may be an opening for their resistance and reaction, but to relate to men or anyone else in nothing less than the truth, is the deep love and appreciation we can offer.
That is truly beautiful, and it is so important to appreciate those amazing qualities of these men, and see that all men have these. But are not always free in the way they think they need to be.
Thank you Johanna for a lovely sharing, about appreciation of ourselves and others and how it all starts from self first before we can see it and feel it in others. Men have a lovely tenderness and delicateness about them regardless of the image they present it just needs to be in me first for me to see it and appreciate it in them.
If I don’t make space for me to feel and experience connection, then it is virtually impossible to connect with anyone else, I may ‘think’ I’m connecting but it is with the head and not truly feeling another. The way I live with dedicated self care determines this level of consistent connection and therefore connection with all the wonderful men and women in my life.
I love spending time with my male colleagues and allowing myself to be tender with them which always then gives them permission to be tender with themselves.
Gorgeous, Elizabeth. What a gift it is to be open and tender with our colleagues, and what a difference that would make in the workplace.
Agree, when we’re more open or at ease with ourselves, we address and communicate differently to colleagues or clients, and workplaces flow with harmony and a light-heartedness, which makes it a joy coming to work and seeing people, as opposed to dreading the day ahead and working with a lag or discontentment. Such openness allows for greater collaboration and efficiency at work.
When I feel a quality in another that I admire and appreciate it tends to have a ripple effect and the appreciation continues to expand my awareness of qualities in many people. At the same time there feels to be a return of the ripple and I experience a wash of love and appreciation back towards myself. It’s beautiful to experience. I need to appreciate more and more as who doesn’t want to feel love wash over them.
Appreciation and acceptance of others is definitely a life changer, instead of automatically going into judgement, criticism or frustration, like I used to. But this has only occurred since I have started to accept and appreciate myself more- the beautiful qualities that we each bring- tenderness, sweetness, gentleness, divine beauty.
Me too Loretta Rappos. I have also found that my ability to accept and appreciate others for their natural unique qualities and expression has increased a thousand fold since deepening acceptance and appreciation for myself. I feel there are greater depths to this too, that I have just scraped the surface, and my everyday relationships with all the people who cross my path are growing more honest and intimate the more I stay connected to me and drop any judgements, needs and expectations as they arise.
It is great to appreciate men, I know I haven’t so much in the past, however there are some sensitive, tender, deeply aware men in my life and actually when I am open in life, I meet men for who they are and see this gentle tenderness within all.
Yes, I agree Samantha if you really allow yourself to feel men and let them in it is easy to appreciate them in their tenderness and genuine ability to care so deeply. We miss out on that if we hold onto the hurts that were caused by a few of them misbehaving towards us.
I agree Monica, it all begins with self-appreciation which allows us to express more of ourselves, for the more we express, the more we can appreciate in ourselves and all others.
When we see the amazing qualities in others, it becomes so much easier to deeply appreciate all that they are, that is to see their natural divineness, yet at the same time just living every day life. And perhaps it is our purpose to have ‘true connection’ with everyone we meet.
Beautifully stated jacqmcfadden04, I fully agree.
There are none so blind as those that will not see. I have also met this rare breed of man that are out there in the wild, the ones that have never heard of Universal Medicine. Is it the big brushes that we have used to paint all of us, including our self as to what men are always suppose to be? These naturally tender and caring men have always been there, we have just refused to accept the truth that we all are the same. Universal Medicine has allowed us to remove the mask that we have been wearing and we can now clearly see what has always been there… tender, caring and loving men living in the wild… we do exist and I claim to be one of them now.
So true Steve. It is the truth within all men and those of us that have claimed ourselves back have the responsibility to reflect the truth of us all.
“Men in their tenderness simply melt me”. This is the same for me too and I’m sure we’re not the only ones Michelle! (And I’ve just seen Rachel agrees too) For so much of life I didn’t see the tenderness in men whether by their doing or my own. And if I did I sure didn’t appreciate it. Men being tender with themselves, with other men women or myself, stops me in my tracks. I feel as though I am adjusting to this new normal of how men are and letting go of all the beliefs I had around men, and around what I tolerated from men.
It is interesting I read this blog today as I have spent the day in close quarters with a man and have been appreciating his patience, tenderness and gentle qualities. So often in the past I would not have seen these qualities, nor appreciated them in men. I had a very different version of what a man should be and by having an ideal of how a man should be, I have been imposing hugely and denying myself the enjoyment of such gorgeous qualities in others.
A gorgeous blog Johanna – another beautiful reminder of the importance of Appreciation. Something so absolutely worth remembering is to appreciate ourselves, everyone and everything, every moment of every day. Much easier said than done but certainly worth consistent perseverance.
I have also found this Johanna until I deepened my love of myself I wasn’t really able to accept fully the qualities a man brings, I also approached them with a guard because you never know. Now I feel with my appreciation of men I have more of a balanced perspective and see us both as equals and the reflection is I actually feel my tender, sacred self as I feel there sensitivities and tender strength. The balance is beautiful to feel.
This is a great awareness Johanna – seeing people for who they truly are beyond what they can do. I agree appreciation has an ever expanding magic, the more it is truly lived in ourselves the more we feel it in everyone around us.
What struck me in this blog was that just like you did not always see men beyond what they did or what they could bring and fully appreciate them for all they truly are and their tender sweetness within them, men too generally do not always see themselves beyond what they do and what they can bring either. It is rather startling to consider when you truly feel the quality of a man deep within him and that tender care sweetness, that that is something that many men themselves are not even aware that such a beauty is already living deep inside and they are far far greater than simply what they do.
Beautiful expressed Joshua, many men are not aware of their own beauty , feminity and tenderness within them and it is definitely something worth appreciating.
Teaching young children it is really clear that many boys decide to dismiss their tender, sensitive side by the age of 7, 8 and 9. They feel that if they don’t they will get picked on by the other boys and feel they have to harden and get tough and show attitude to survive. It’s so necessary to remind the boys of this age that their sensitivity, tenderness and sweetness is what makes them a true man.
Appreciation really is the key to life. It is something I have struggled with, but it is also something that always proves to be the key. Appreciation is a big muscle that we all have, and we can all joyfully grow.
I love this, Simone – “Appreciation is a big muscle that we all have, and we can all joyfully grow.” I too am beginning to appreciate appreciation! It really is an incredibly powerful muscle that keeps us connected to the truth in our lives, rather than caught in mental projections of how life should be. To me it feels like an embodied acceptance of who we are and what we have been blessed with, and it grows and grows inside us.
I agree Simone appreciation is really always the key – and your example that appreciation is a big muscle and we can joyfully grow is so spot on – now I cannot get rid of this wonderful picture.
“I used to see men more for the roles they played, or what they could do for me, or for their family.” I can relate to this need which I have and still do impose on me. I can see how imposing and controlling it is. Johanna I love how you take this belief that men and people need to do things for us, and expose it for what it is. You are the living, walking, breathing proof that this belief is something you took on as being true but really always knew that the way you now appreciate men and the love which you experience in all your interactions with men is really what is the truth.
I was struck by the amazing honesty in the first line of this sharing. How easy and ‘normal’ it is for us to view others through a lens of ‘what they can do for us’. Your experience shows how powerful and enriching it is to appreciate others just as they are. I can see that appreciation allows us to develop true connections and relationships and at the end of the day this is the only thing anyone truly wants.
Ouch – you laid the finger right on it Leonne :”How easy and ‘normal’ it is for us to view others through a lens of ‘what they can do for us’. ” And yes, through appreciation we can so much more connect with each other and actually view everyone with the tenderness and the love that everyone inherently is within.
Beyond what we can do, there is a person, waiting to be connected to. With connection, what we do becomes less important—we can do one job or many, but we are not attached, and without this attachment we can actually do much more.
There is so much for us to appreciate in one another, but when that appreciation is underpinned with a acknowledgement of ourselves and our own fantasticness, then that appreciation for others can reach a depth that is unforeseen. I love how blogs like this one remind us of how amazing others are, and how the world can be, but that to reach the true gold that lies beneath the surface we perceive, we must start start with ourselves, accept and appreciate ourselves, even love ourselves. From there, the untarnished shininess of that which lies just beneath the surface of our normal perception is able to come forth in its dazzling brilliance.
Naren it just goes to show us how dulled we are, not only by the food we eat but the thoughts and beliefs we overlay our own brilliance with . It’s like we turn down our light and it makes it hard to see the glorious nature of everyone and everything around us, we are so busy stumbling around in the dark we haven’t noticed how dull we are. It took the bright ‘ light’ of Serge Benhayon to shine for me to see the reflection within myself and many years of discarding these layers to finally get to appreciate the powerful light I also shine!
It is only from knowing something from within ourselves that we can feel it and appreciate it in others, so, as you see these particular gentlemen as patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring, they are but reflecting back the qualities that you live so beautifully in your own life Johanna. The beauty in life reflecting back to us is that we are constantly being shown where we are at, we can be confirmed in our livingness or supported, through reflection to make necessary changes.
It’s very true that opening to appreciation of myself has opened me to being able to appreciate others. As soon as my own relationship to me deepened and became more loving, so did my relationships to those around me. I’ve also noticed I can connect more to the qualities of men and appreciate the beautiful person inside now, and I have more understanding of what men face in life. As part of Universal Medicine events I have had many opportunities to observe and make friends with men who are dedicated to their own self care and to becoming more loving with themselves and others. This has supported me to really see and feel the true qualities of men, their tenderness, their care, their strength, and their gentleness for example. For me growing up men were a bit aggressive and quite formidable at times, authority figures, and a little hard to understand. I also saw them as people who did things and contributed especially in a work way, but they never really connected to those around them and I never really experienced their depths. Now I can understand, and at times feel, the inner essence all men carry, the little boy they began as that may have been locked away or still live and express from. Having more insight and understanding of men has really supported me in appreciating them.
It was a really big ouch to admit I’d been seeing men in terms of what they could do for me rather than who they were as people. No different to me feeling objectified or relating to men through sexual attractiveness. Thanks to observing Serge Benhayon and how honouring he is of women and men I have begun to trust people starting with myself. Feeling the truth of my worth has empowered me to relate to others from me and not a role I am trying to fit.
Yes, Karin. Serge Benhayon has continuously exposed the beliefs and ideals we have held about each other, breaking through the stereotypes to the essence of the preciousness that we all have inside. This changes everything, and I am enjoying a new freedom in relationship with men (and woman) that is not loaded with all the societal projections we inherit and adopt when we settle for less than love.
I agree Janet “Serge Benhayon has continuously exposed the beliefs and ideals we have held about each other, breaking through the stereotypes to the essence of the preciousness that we all have inside”. This has opened me up to an understanding that brotherhood is the true way.
This is gorgeous Johanna. When we are open to appreciate the loving qualities in ourselves and others, we are confirming the truth of Love that is lived and expressed through our bodies. Our connection to Love then naturally deepens, develops and grows as does our appreciation continue to do so. I also can attest to the truth you share, that because of what Serge Benhayon lives and presents, I too have developed and still am deepening in appreciation of who I am and the loving qualities I hold within. Through which now I also naturally enjoy appreciating the same Love within, and the expression of the same loving qualities, in all others.
Joanna this is a beautiful reflection of how life opens up to us when we approach it from the angle of love. I used to react to people depending on how they reacted to me. It is a vicious circle which stopped me for knowing and appreciating people at their true value. Of course I still find some people more challenging than others but I am no longer crushed if for some reason they do not reciprocate my ouvertures.
‘Whenever I am around each of them I feel met and cared for because each of them takes the time to stop, really listen and hold a very caring level of eye contact throughout the conversation’
I love this part because I feel like when someone stops and connects to us with a steady and very present gaze, letting us in and taking time to truly connect it is simply delightful.
Kathryn your term ‘simply delightful’ really touched me, thank you. Simply delightful……to be filled with joy……. this is our natural way of being. When two people living the God that they are, meet each other, there is nothing that can stop the Love/God merging and creating deep joy and absolute delight, that then radiates out into the world for all.
So many times I have run away from and been fearful of the loving gaze of another man but oh how healing it is when we allow ourselves to be held in the strength and beauty of it. When we as women know we are worth it, we can then freely let them in, and this also provides loving confirmation to the man of all that he is.
Gorgeous Amina. It is not only a beautifully honouring way to live…but also very natural.
“Whenever I am around each of them I feel met and cared for because each of them takes the time to stop, really listen and hold a very caring level of eye contact throughout the conversation.” For a man to look at a women in the eye, steadily and respectfully, without any requirements or imposition, in itself, is beholding. For too many times have I, with unresolved hurts within, glanced my eyes across a room to meet the eyes of a women requiring something from her. Nowadays more and more, I find that I do, more sweetly and openly hold a women with eye contact that is engaging in full without imposition. A wonderful reminder of the importance of doing so for all of the wonderful women in the worlde.
It is really lovely to read your comment Oliver. It is quite a revelation to see that there is no room for expectation when we choose to truly appreciate each other.
I love your sharing too Oliver – and agree with Leonne – “It is quite a revelation to see that there is no room for expectation when we choose to truly appreciate each other.”
I love what you share here Oliver and your honesty of looking to a woman requiring something from her. For me with all my hurts in the past, I would/could not meet a man with my eyes for 2 reasons, the first, because of my lack of self-worth/lack of confidence and because I could feel this wanting something from me, thus having no desire to make eye contact. And I could also feel how needy I was. Having dealt with my old hurts, I have a deeper connection with my body, I now find I have the desire to connect with others no matter how short or long the interchange is, without needing anything.
This is beautiful Oliver, highlights how we can look at someone but need something from them, or we can look knowing our sweetness, and not imposing in any way but allowing the other person to be all that they are.
I agree Oliver. And women do the same to men. Since I have felt more of myself in life and the fulfilment of a closer relationship with God, I have looked less upon women out of my need for companionship, relief and stimulation. To have the opportunity to behold a woman with my eyes without wanting anything is a blessing in itself, for only then am I able to feel her true beauty.
This is beautiful Joanna. “They are not shut down or dismissive, racy, forceful or imposing; instead they are patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring.” Such a great sentence to describe the contrast we can find in men generally. I know if I were a father, which I would encourage my son to be.
This sentence ” They are not shut down or dismissive, racy, forceful or imposing; instead they are patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring.” is a beautiful way for all humanity to gauge where they are at.
I really felt the quality of love in your expression Johanna – and I can say I too have learned to really appreciate men in general and not be a little in fear of them, and that has been only since Serge Benhayon came into my world, and shared with us the joy of knowing ourselves a little more honestly, recognizing and appreciating the beauty beholden within us all.
I agree Roberta, since knowing Serge Benhayon my appreciation for men has grown, not only through knowing and appreciating the beauty and love that we all are, but through the unwavering respect, gentleness and deep caring he and his sons Michael and Curtis have shown me. My relationships with these beautiful men allowed me to open to the possibility that tenderness and gentleness existed within all men.
How beautiful to see your reflection in others and after what you shared in the beginning about how you have often felt with men in the past, this reflection is even more beautiful as it also brings the awareness that we are all equal in our tenderness and values.
“In the past I can honestly say that I had little to no genuine appreciation for men.” I can honestly say this too now Johanna, I liked men and enjoyed their company but did not appreciate them and was not able to see past what they portrayed or let us see. Many of their true qualities such as tenderness and gentleness were not always so easy to recognise behind the hardened exterior of how society has expected them to be. Now that I have allowed myself to be more gentle and delicate with myself I am able to see these qualities in men and no longer brush them aside as being weak.
Most men deny their natural tenderness will do anything to hide it under a cloak of hardness so it is not your fault you did not see it in men. What is great about this Blog is now that we know what a natural tender man is like we can see that under the tough exterior all men are equally as tender as the little boy they once were. Once the tough façade is exposed for being false and the tenderness is shown all men melt and come home to their true nature.
I never used to see what people had to offer only what their flaws were. This was to justify why I should remain guarded and shut down. Serge Benhayon and his family have been the greatest inspiration in learning what I have to offer and also what all others have to offer. This has been the inspiration that has supported me to learn to open up and appreciate others more.
He has a lot to be appreciated for that Serge Benhayon .. inspiring so many to learn what they have to offer and how to appreciate each other more. What an extraordinarily loving, caring and truly intelligent man he is. By opening up to loving and appreciating him, I have been able to drop my guard of men, open up to them with open agenda-less arms and meet them as equals in a way I could not in the past. What a gift – the gift of appreciation.
Its like magic, when we start to love and appreciate ourselves and all we have to offer it is very natural to appreciate the qualities in others.
It’s very beautiful reading your blog Johanna and people’s comments on appreciating men. In the past I have been very guarded around men, thinking that they were wanting something from me. As I have slowly let down my guard and let them in, I am now able to as well appreciate the divine beauty that men are. It’s so gorgeous letting men in, to feel them as an equal, to feel them as the sons of God.
One only needs to look at the man on this blog picture to feel/see how gorgeous and precious each man truly is.
Absolutely Alexandra – the picture says it all – no caption required!
Gorgeous article Johanna, ‘I love that I can see these amazing qualities in others and myself’. I have found that since I have been appreciating myself more and noticing how tender and lovely I am, that I have been noticing more the qualities of others, I appreciate people so much more now that I used to and enjoy engaging and connecting with people.
It’s beautiful Rebecca that that which we live and nurture in ourselves, such as appreciation and tenderness, we then see reflected back to us, bringing more joy and appreciation for ourselves and others, and on it goes ever increasing.
In other words when we don’t hold ourselves in love and tenderness, it’s impossible to see the same in others, even when openly offered to us.
Yep – that’s it. How we can we feel something from the outside if we do not connect to that within us first.
Johanna your steadiness and appreciation of yourself shines through and from this place your own beauty and tenderness reflects back at you in those you meet.
I agree wholeheartedly, Amina.
Richard I am appreciating your beautiful comment, I felt a true joy reading it.
It is so refreshing to look beyond the gender stereotypes we may have and appreciate that we are equally sensitive lovable beings.
It is so refreshing Victoria. Recognising the tenderness and sweetness in us all is something to deeply appreciate.
Hello Victoria Picone and I agree, very freeing and refreshing. We often look at things through different lenses, in this example it would be the gender lens. With this we are never able to fully see what is in front of us, the lens gives us a perception or a range to view things in. Depending on how you were brought up and what you background is your perception will dictate just what you are viewing. This can give us a very warp sense of what is actually happening right in front of us. It’s quite amazing to see this for yourself, appreciation is a huge key.
Yes so true Raymond Karam, our conditioning beliefs and ideals we have subscribed to can surely fog up the lens. It seems kinda crazy that we have to remove these false filters and perceptions we have taken on to uncover what was always there to begin with, the equal loveliness, sensitivity and beauty we naturally are.
Wise words Victoria, it is time to remove the false filters, because there is so much waiting underneath it, the love for humanity and our own beauty and amazingness. I wish I had allowed myself to return to this level of divine living inside of me earlier. But therefore, I am newly imprinting my life now in my fifties. A wonderful way to live life, like it is a gift to connect with another in truth and love.
Yes Victoria Picone, you only have to look at babies and young children to feel the truth of what you have expressed, that ‘we are all equally sensitive loveable beings,’ and even as adults, having possibly hardened from years of hurt and pain, this absolute truth still exists within us all, men and women alike.
I so agree Victoria, Raymond and Rachel; having raised a boy and a girl it was so very obvious how tender and loving both genders are and so gentle in many ways too. And you are so right Raymond when you say: “Depending on how you were brought up and what you background is your perception will dictate just what you are viewing.” High time to let go of all these learnt ‘views’ and start feeling into the deeper aspects of us all and the love and tenderness that is in us all equally so.
It is so beautiful Johanna, and I want to thank you for writing this blog about the appreciation of men. It is such an enrichment when we encounter men in their true expression, as in that we are honoured in who we are and in that we can restore our appreciation for men. I also appreciate to meet men and women that are living their natural qualities in all that hey do, as this gives me the reflection of where I come from and where I belong to. I too have these qualities and meeting these in others is such a joy as it is a confirmation of how I feel inside and thought that I feel truly met.
I agree Nico, when we truly meet each other from our essence, this is pure joy and a great reflection for us, what we really are. No need to play a role, just being me is enough, wonderful.
As I was reading your blog Johanna, it told the story of the appreciation you now have for yourself, for without that first within you, you would not have felt that true appreciation for these men. Love reflects love so naturally. Learning to appreciate ourselves and others is so healing for us all.
I agree, Victoria. Learning to appreciate each other can change the world if we allow it, as every time it brings love back into the equation rather than protection, blame, jealousy, judgement etc. But as you say, this can only happen if we are truly able to appreciate ourselves.
What a beautiful comment Victoria “Love reflects love so naturally.” It’s very inspiring to have this moment just to stop and consider more deeply the value of my self love to others and this world.
This feels so devine and so true Victoria. “Love reflects love so naturally. Learning to appreciate ourselves and others is so healing for us all”.
The more I honour my preciousness as a woman, the more I can deeply appreciate the men I meet. Without the guards up of feeling I need to close off to them for fear of ‘leading them on’, knowing my integrity in the energy I am living and holding in my body, I can receive them for the beautiful, sensitive, brave, generous and loving men that they are.
Yes Emma I know what you mean.
In the past I would hold back with men for fear of being ‘misunderstood’ or their partners showing jealously which I could not bare.
But now I am equally as open with them as anyone and this feels so lovely.
No more measurements. 🙂 🙂
Yes so true – no more measurements, just being in the feeling of appreciation naturally opens this to all others too – and given in the energy in which it is intended, no misunderstandings will occur.
I too experience this Emma, that the more I hold myself in that preciousness that I am, I can let men in more and experience the playfulness and delight of being open with another.
It is now my natural way of being to be open and talk with everybody I meet throughout my day, regardless of the context. I find nearly everybody, men, women and children alike respond to this openness and I can see them surprising themselves in how at ease they feel in opening up. Sometimes, I am surpised at the level of openness of others who approach me before I have seen them, willing to engage, make strong eye contact, stopping to really listen as we converse. It is very confirming of the one humanity to which we belong.
I find that too Emma. Lately men I have never met before are engaging in more intimate conversations right off the bat, and in no way instigated by me. As this is happening shortly after ‘hello’ and I am not enquiring into their childhood or marriages or whatever I can only assume that it must be an energetic thing. They must feel safe in the reflection of my accepting, non-judgmental attitude. Its been quiet extraordinary and as you say “very confirming of the one humanity to which we belong.”
I love reading the blog Johanna, I have not ever really been one to have many solid relationships with men. I have never really felt that I could trust them, or appreciate them. But over the last few months, and slowly slowly over the past few years I have been able to slowly let some gorgeous men into my life and I can feel how delicate and sensitive and precious these relationships are. The tender qualities of men are truly awe inspiring when they hold their love, and their light and just be their natural selves.
Dear Johanna, I love your sharing of this beautiful awareness – really taking a moment and reflecting on how much we can appreciate the men around us, and to appreciate them for who they are. We are very blessed to have more and more men allowing themselves to show their tender and caring side more widely. And it’s very supportive for men if we women look at them for who they truly are, instead of putting all our expectations on to them, letting go of the old role-models that are so strong out there, affecting men and enabling men to reduce themselves to these roles of toughness and hardness. It is such a pleasure seeing men in their gentleness and even fragility.
Beautifully expressed Esther. I agree “We are very blessed to have more and more men allowing themselves to show their tender and caring side more widely” and our acknowledging and appreciating these qualities in them is a wonderful way of support and encouragement.
Yes Amina, me too, I feel the true love and joy grow inside of me when I appreciate myself, starting with my body, then appreciating all that I do, and also the quality that I bring to myself and others. When we are able to see these things within ourselves and others which we can fully appreciate, we start treating ourselves and others differently, with more honouring and love and care.
Wow Richard. There is such a need for men to feel safe enough to express how they truly feel. Thank you for bringing your sweetness to the world.
You inspire others to do so also.
Yes acceptance and understanding of self and others really deepens the appreciation levels.
It is so lovely these days to truly feel the natural gentle and genuine caring that men all have underneath their protection. I work with one male and lots of women at my work and am so pleased to have him in our centre. I can feel what he brings and I allow him to bring it by just being myself with him and holding him in the natural grace that a woman naturally has with no expectation or need.
“I simply feel how amazing it is that these men – who just go about their day – work hard doing what they do (whether they are paid for it or not), are living life to the full and yet have held on to the beautiful tenderness and self-connection they would have had as young boys.” I love this sharing in your blog, Johanna, and so relate what you have said in this sentence. I also have found, especially since I was widowed, in my experience in having to find tradesmen for so many odd and larger jobs, that among the more gung hu types of men, there are so many that fit with the description above, “have held on to the beautiful tenderness and self-connection they would have had as young boys. So many of those who have done things for me have been so careful and tender in all that they have done, have really taken pride in doing a good job for me and I now regard these men as reliable friends.
Dear Johanna,
I loved reading your blog. It felt truly beautiful, still and real. How life can be lived by us all. Feeling open and free to share our tenderness with all that we meet. I love that these two men inspired you to share this with us all.
Beautifully said Leigh. Johanna has now introduced these men to us all and she has given us an opportunity to appreciate them too.
Lovely Leonne 🙂
I agree with you Amina, since I met Serge Benhayon, I have become so much more open to the qualities in others, have learned to appreciate what they bring to us all. Still working more deeply on truly appreciating myself and what I bring to this life, amazing how we hold back from this one. It seems easier to see the great qualities in others, before ourselves, crazy. But as I gradually come to have more appreciation for myself, more and more I see things that are great in others. Yet, now having that deep knowing of where I come from, I have thank goodness largely let go of the need to compare myself with others, just getting on with developing myself and bringing out my own qualities.
That’s great Richard. I have often observed the different relationships men have with each other as opposed to women. It’s not the same for everyone, but I think it’s safe to say that many men find they are less welcomed into having an open conversation about how they feel and what is really going on for them. The bravado stance is killing everyone slowly, so support of any kind, such as blogs like this are of true service.
I can very much say the same for me… It’s actually incredible to look back a few years before I came across Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and how clammed up I was around people. Everyone was a potential enemy! As a result i felt very much alone, as really I knew I wasn’t just keeping others out, I was keeping myself out. I was my own worst enemy. Now, from superficial friendships, I have the most intimate beautiful friendships that continue to deepen and deepen. As you say Amina, it’s the most joyful and honouring way to live.
Johanna, I too have been rather unappreciative of, well most humans to be honest. Living a lot of my life throwing around ridiculous statements like ‘ I hate people’. What’s really awesome and interesting to watch unfold is that now, even when I’m faced with people who are particularly challenging, I can see past it, for I know that this is merely a protection, a front because they are yet to appreciate themselves. I still like to get worked up and frustrated by people, but as I myself become more gentle and accepting of me, I’m finding this happens less often. I’m more open to seeing people for who they are, not just how they present themselves.
That’s awesome to hear Richard, many men develop superficial relationships with each other based on football results and the latest sport news when in truth they are so much more than that. Men like you Richard are showing us all there is another way, as you break through the stereo typical image and show us that men are deeply expressive, naturally sensitive and tender! Thank you for sharing
Wow beautiful Johanna, we seem to be a society that often lacks deep appreciation for oneself and others, in fact it is quite rife. I love how you have expressed your appreciation for these men in your life, this is in fact how it’s meant to be naturally with everyone yet this is not our usual experience. Thank you for sharing your appreciation for true appreciation spreads like wild fire leaving everyone in its’ wake touched by divinity.
Hello Samantha England, I agree and see the appreciation as a very personal thing. There appears to be a lack of appreciation simply for ourselves in any moment. We are all too often keen to run ourselves down, talk ourselves down and generally make ourselves feel worthless. What are we afraid of? What would happen it we appreciated ourselves? We seemed to be scared we will be wrong or something. It’s great just to simple appreciate the small details in your life. It could be just the feeling of climbing into bed or the smell of something in the air. No matter what it is, where it is, or what it looks like, if you bring appreciation to anything it changes it completely. Thanks Samantha.
Exactly Raymond, and it is so easy once we start this – and makes such a difference to our lives and that of others – win-win for all.
I can honestly say that I have never appreciated men either, starting with my own father. In all the relationships I have had, I always wanted something from the men, I was needy and I could never really see all those partners for the beautiful men that they were. I have taken them for granted and especially when they showed their vulnerability, I was in huge reaction. But this has changed…….and lately I so much adore men and love spending time with them. I can see their beauty and their tenderness and I don’t even go into reaction….more and more I can see them for the gorgeous sweet and loving human beings that they are. Men: I love you!
I can relate to that too Mariette – it was the same for me. It was as if men owed me something all of the time, no matter what age. And yes when they were vulnerable or hurt I could not be with that either as I had the expectation of men having to be strong, and invincible. Nowadays though, this is no longer so, thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine teachings. Feeling the tenderness and love in the men that I now meet is just so awesome and I am fortunate I am friends with these beautiful men that do not shy away from showing their tender and gorgeous selves.
Mariette thankyou for your honesty. I used to be so cut off from men and I feel this was a hardness I held them in to justify using them as providers or people who “get stuff done”. It’s really terrible to feel this yet it’s true at times in my past. Now I bathe the man in my life with love and appreciation and continually challenge him to see and accept himself as he truly is – a beautiful man. I feel very inspired from this blog to continually see past the protection and hardness men use as a wall to keep themselves safe and keep people away, and just see straight to the utterly gorgeous, tender and sensitive man and boy within.
Beautifully expressed Johanna. There is so much ‘history’ between men and women, it can be hard to see people for who they are. People that you meet that are genuinely beautiful are to be treasured and appreciated.
Absolutely Doug. I always now tell people the gorgeousness I feel in them and the beauty I appreciate in our relationships. Once this was hard for me to feel and express but now it comes out quite naturally. Although if honest I do feel that I could express more in depth and turn up the love at times more often.
I love how you describe this Johanna08.smith, I am also much more expressing appreciation for myself as well as for others, and I see quite often that some people are not used to receiving this and sort of get taken aback a bit. When they feel the sincerity and love though, with which this expression comes, it is so beautiful to watch how they soften and start to feel the joy of having been seen and held in the love that they are.
It can seem so rare to meet men that are prepared to show these tender qualities – perhaps tenderness is the new black!
Men in their true quality super caring with a tenderness that shows what strength is …This stopped me dead in my tracks, first time I wanted to run for the hills, it was unusual, and totally exposing!!
Yes I know what you mean Jaime, men in their true tenderness and sensitivity can completely disarm the hardness we can hold with ourselves as women.
Yes, how beautiful it is when we can meet another and immediately feel, as we express ,that we are more and thus allow a deeper surrendering and greater truth and love to be. Being this for one another we cannot help but evolve.
Another beautiful blog Johanna, thank you. I’m currently appreciating my development of appreciation! It too is a fundamental concept that Serge and Natalie Benhayon have really grounded and supported me to feel the importance of. Appreciation brings so much to ourselves and others. It allows us to surrender, grow and expand in the love that we have for ourselves, and those around us. And this is the aim of the game – growing in love! Appreciation is therefore key in our evolution to living the loving and harmonious life that is there waiting for each of us.
Agreed. By learning to deeply appreciate ourselves we can then naturally extend this to others around us and we therefore all grow together in love.
Learning to appreciate is one of the first steps to true transformation.
I agree, Appreciation and acceptance allows for amazing levels of transformation in our lives.
Yes and the level of connections that can occur are really beautiful, and to observe the joy in people when they have been truly appreciated is something very beautiful to see.
I agree Johanna, only since I am in contact with Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon now for 8 years, I began to appreciate myself and others including men. Now I even have male friends which I honor and love very much. This would have not been possible before. It is very healing once we allow to open up and feel the beauty men bring.
Johanna I appreciate you bringing my attention to the beautiful qualities of men, and that fact that in my everyday life too there are lovely men. Taking the time to fully ponder and appreciate the value these people bring to my life is important, and something I would like to express more openly.
I really love this blog Johanna. The appreciation and adoration you have for men, particularly the two you mentioned is gorgeous. You couldn’t possibly have this level of appreciation for them if you didn’t have it for yourself…lovely to feel.
‘Thank you Johanna for sharing your experiences with your new male friends. This whole experience show us that we can greet each other with an open heart and every relationship then has the potential to grow and blossom like a garden when we nurture it, and ourselves.
This was a great healing to read. Thank you Johanna.
If we see people as their roles before we see them as equal, then it is very easy to judge and compare.
I have found this a tough pattern to break, ruled by the image of what a man or woman should be before considering they are made of the same stuff I am.
But as I have started to appreciate myself more and more, and with the support of Universal Medicine, I have started to break down the wall of separation I once held high to the world. Yes people were easy to avoid and I’d never cause a fuss, but all I offered society was my physical looks and not my essence. To start to shift this is to see people for who they truly are and appreciate that we all carry so much depth, beauty and wisdom that cannot be held back if we allow it.
Thanks Hannah, this wisdom and beauty in everyone is the love to connect with. I like it as you’ve said that you have offered only the physical look and not the essence of who you really are. This is what many do and live in a hide away, having a mask on to not be seen, afraid of judgement and rejection and what hurts. But this is a set up of creation to begin with. No need for false images – let us show the real self and meet from there in a deeper way, the loving way.
When we allow ourselves to feel the tenderness that is there in all men, it opens up the tenderness in ourselves to a deeper level.
I so love feeling that tenderness that is there in the men that I meet for it allows me to not only feel that tenderness in myself but appreciate my own fragility as a woman.
This is great Michelle, sometimes it can feel harsh calling out behaviours for what they are, but in that moment we are all given a chance to stop, reflect, and move forward in a more loving way.
Staying open and humble are 2 qualities that have allowed me to begin to appreciate both myself and other people. I know I have had no appreciation in the past for myself and therefore no appreciation for those I met. Seeing men as being useful as I once did now feels so ugly and very dismissing of their gentle and loving qualities that have always been right there before me. Working in the supermarket I have been blown away by the gentleness of men especially some of the younger ones, how delicately they pack their shopping bags and how gently they carry themselves in how thy move and speak.
I also had no real awareness how much I did not trust men and was defensive with them “It is only because of Serge Benhayon and all that he presents and lives, along with his unending care towards people, that I have become aware of this.” I felt I was naturally caring and committed to equality and yet this distrust of men was very prevalent I held them differently to women. I came to place where I was asked myself a question, if you do feel true equality and care then this can only be shared with all, with no exceptions. and so I committed to this, so when I see a man in the street, a man in my family, I don’t attempt to protect myself or 2nd guess what the reaction maybe, I meet them in equality.
I am loving all your expressions of appreciation Johanna. Your love runs deep on these pages and holds a beautiful emanation for all to feel.
When we let go of our ideals, beliefs and judgements against others there is a whole world of amazing people out there just waiting for us to give them permission to fully introduce themselves! I love what you have written Johanna; appreciation is something SO important to have in relationships, as this confirming of love is what grounds a foundation so that the connection can be deepened with everyone in our lives.
It’s beautiful Johanna that you feel able to truly connect with these men and appreciate the qualities in them, which reflects a deep appreciation of yourself.
I agree, and I feel honoured to be able to read a blog such as this. A blog that deeply reflects the way that we can build relationships within our communities.
It’s true Peter – appreciation has an expansive effect. When we appreciate ourselves, we are able to do this more with others, which in turn allows us to expand in our appreciation for ourselves. It is a never ending cycle of love if we allow appreciation to continue. And this is the key – to never stop appreciating.
Beautifully shared Peter, Natasha and Amelia. Yes I agree that there is no end to the Love we can live with when we choose to appreciate and express the Love we are and feel.
This is key, to keep appreciating, and it is expansive, the more we appreciate ourselves the more we appreciate others and so it grows.
One wonders how truly important the appreciation expressed in blogs like this one is. Consciousness changing, I suggest, because in reading it, one can feel the truth that any man, any human being, has these qualities of being “patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring.” It is so freeing to observe, share and celebrate these qualities, for all concerned. So thank you Johanna, for leading the way!
True Simon, we lead the way when we choose to express our appreciation for mankind. It’s certainly a welcomed contrast to what we’re dealt with from the media.
Reading this blog really brings home the contrast between the lack of appreciation I once lived with on a daily basis and never thought anything of it, to now having appreciation of the most smallest and simplest gestures from and for others.
I can certainly relate to this Johanna, ‘At other times I gave my power away to men as I thought they knew more than me or they were forceful and imposing with the way they delivered their knowledge.’ it is only reading this that it makes me aware how in the past I saw men as superior, as having more knowledge and so I would allow myself to be treated as less, I do not feel this now as I can feel the absolute equality of men and women.
I too can relate to this and how I gave my power away to men at times. But this no longer is needed as I can feel the absolute tenderness and wisdom offered by all men and women equally so and that is something truly worth appreciating today.
Yep, men are certainly worth appreciating in every way. When I was a small child, my best friends were boys and I just loved the equal playfulness and joy that we were together, as we grew I noticed that they didn’t see it as ‘so normal’ to hang around with a girl anymore and so I felt very sad and rejected. Unfortunately I placed a protection up around men for a very long time, under the illusion that they are all very tough and would hurt me but the truth was I have always held them in an absolute loving way; in full knowing of how tender and loving they deep down really are. When I connect to my own tenderness I cannot help but appreciate the love and depth of beauty that they are too.
When I was a small child my best friend was a boy. He was completely awesome and we just loved being together. But once we got to school there was a separation and like you Cherise, I felt very sad about this and adapted to living life protecting myself from the way boys were together. For that was not what I knew from my early friendship. It’s funny now at work, I really enjoy caring for older men, even though they have lived hard rural lives often, I can see the beautiful sensitivity that they would have had as a child. More and more I see that first, which is a great foundation to build a working relationship. They also teach me to let down my own guard and preconceived ideas about how men (and really us all) should be.
There is definitely a judgment I used to have about men, based on their gender, which I would use to prove that they are somehow different, and deserve less. It has come to my attention however, that it is not the body of the man that defines him, but the choices made by the person inside. This, for me, has opened the world to not include separation between people, and instead has shown me how we are all students of our own lives, living and learning based on the circumstances we are given. And men are an equal part of that, and we would all be less without what they bring.
Something I very much appreciate in the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine is how Serge has highlighted the sensitivity, gentleness and tenderness that naturally exists in men but they are not generally encouraged to show in our society. Although I have always liked men, understanding their inherent sensitivity has allowed me to appreciate this quality and open to them so much more. So I find your expression of appreciation of the men you meet in life, very confirming Johanna, thank you and it reminds me to open more to those I meet in the course of my day.
Gorgeous appreciation Johanna. The more we can appreciate ourselves, then it becomes easy to appreciate others, we see the same divine qualities that we have in others. I am deeply appreciating of late the beauty and the care that I feel in men. I find that when I am around a man that is in his tenderness, it offers me the space to connect deeper to my stillness and it feels so beautiful.
So true Donna. The more we accept the love that we are, the more we can accept this love in another.
Hear hear Liane, exactly so – it always starts with our self first.
I have also found this too Donna!
I find that when I am around tender men I simply melt and yes I also connect to a deeper stillness and allow my self to let go and be more of me. I feel so supported by men who express their tenderness. It feels very holding.
Beautiful to observe these qualities in these men Johanna, it is a reminder to me that in every interaction we can either be open or closed to truly meeting and connecting to another. I find the more I am open with others the more beautiful and amazing my connections are. People are so willing to be connected to if you just allow yourself to let them in. I have found since having my young daughter that so many people (including lots of men) just want to engage with her and me, they are so sweet and genuine and so easily share themselves. It reminds me to more open and to let my old guards down as they are just not needed. Thanks for the reminder to appreciate ourselves and others.
I can truly say that I adore men… when once I can say that I felt intimidated by them. Through the work of Universal Medicine I understand why many men adopt protective shields in the form of hardness and sometimes anger as a protection to see them though life. Without question men start life as the most amazing sweet, tender and gorgeous little boys who are not supported in life to remain in the expression of this. We, as women and mothers have allowed our boys to bury and numb this aspect of themselves so that as they grow into men they disconnect from their inner tenderness. There is nothing more amazing than to see a man let go of the protection and iron fortress built, to melt and show their gentle, sweetness once more.
Johanna what you have shared is quite incredible in many ways. When you described your lack of true appreciation for both men and women I knew this to be true of me also. I have spent so much of my life in the company of men and women and yet up until becoming involved with Universal Medicine had no true understanding of the real version of either sex. I understand now that I was looking at both sexes through the eyes of a pretend woman. It’s not that I intended to be insincere it’s just that I was full of pain and also beliefs, both of which prevented me from accessing the truth of who I was. If I could not access he truth of me then how on Earth could I feel the truth of another?
Thank you so much for writing with such honesty – your first paragraph describes exactly how I have lived in my relationship with men, and women – exposing, yet so healing to read your love-filled words. This is so beautiful – the way you are able to see and appreciate true qualities in others, and share – and your appreciation for yourself for that. In your words, I feel your deep commitment to yourself and that is most inspiring.
In the past I also did not appreciate men nor did I trust them. How could I when I did not trust or appreciate myself…..Everything changes with self-love as you bring more of yourself to all your relationships and everything you do.
Agree jacqmcfadden04, everything changes with a deeper embodiment of self-love, including the expectations we may have in relationships.
It is beautiful Johanna, to meet people, and especially men, who didn’t adjust themself to fit in to the male stereotype. And be truly caring and considerate of everyone around them, I am inspired.
Before Universal Medicine, I suppose I have to put my hands up and say I always judged a book by its cover, its taken a while, but now I can look at someone and know they are just like you or me, no matter what gender or how they look and whatever they present to the eye is only a manifestation of the past choices they have made and their buried hurts. Its easy to stereotype men and quite often we deserve it we have been moulded well to be who we aren’t, but Serge Benhayon has shown us that there is another way to be a true man; A gentle man.
Kevin that’s an honest reflection, men have been packaged by society to act in a certain set of stereo typical behaviours. There are not many role models to lead the way but thanks to Serge Benhayon he is living and reflecting the qualities of a true and gentle man indeed.
This is a great blog to read Johanna. Appreciation really is such a beautiful feeling to have in our body. I’ve only recently had the awareness of a deep appreciation for myself and others and I realised that it was lost on me because of all of the expectations I had of myself and others – this made me feel quite sad to have been living like this and i’m glad I now have this awareness. True and loving appreciation opens me up, allows more of me out and allows me to let more in, it sits very deep in the heart.
It wasn’t always I appreciating men. My life was loaded from the childhood with alcoholics, violent men, giving up, sexists, control freaks etc. I had really strong women alongside though. So over the years I have been treating men as lesser species. Until such time when I recognized that my own beliefs about men are reflected straight back to me in full like in the mirror. Just for fun at first I started appreciating little things I like about men, acts of kindness, presents, heroic actions. The transformation was unbelievable! Like plants put in good soil, watered and having sunshine men around me started blossoming. And I could see more and more beautiful qualities, tenderness, honesty, honor and strength.
I am not playing this game anymore. Now it is life. And men are worth appreciating as well as women.
It feels to me Elena that once you began to blossom, everything around you began to blossom!
Beautifully shared jacqmcfadden04, I get that sense too. What a beautiful metaphor.
Elena you have given me such a sweet image, if we nurture by bringing the right qualities we will all flourish … Just like in the garden!
Yes Merrilee, such a sweet image indeed, blossoming love in its true quality nourishes and grows us all.
What a beautiful blog Johanna – your appreciation of others (men and women), totally reflects the deeper appreciation of yourself.
Thank you!
So true Stephanie, when we can appreciate others, the reflection brings the deeper appreciation we have found with ourselves and living this too.
It is so true that the amazingness in other people can completely pass us by if we are not open to seeing it in ourselves. The more I have become open to seeing the things about myself that I can appreciate, the more I see in others.
The more that I appreciate and allow my own sense of learning in life and the rawness and fragility that comes with this, the more I too open up to feeling this in others too.
I feel this too Cherise. As I become more tender and delicate I can feel this in others and can also see the hardening they use to cover up their sweet tenderness.
So true Rebecca – for me reading ‘To add to this I also had very little appreciation for myself…’ raised the question of how much can we bring appreciation to others if we do not have it for ourselves? I have typically lacked self-appreciation over previous years and been hard on myself according to self-imposed expectations. I have realised that I was also bringing these expectations to others and been in judgement of them. Letting go of these with myself has allowed me to accept and appreciate others as they are and for all of my relationships to deepen.
“I used to see men more for the roles they played”. So often we, as men, do play roles but through the lived inspiration of Serge, Michael and Curtis Benhayon many of us are dropping the roles and are being the men we truly are, like the two male friends you mention Johanna. As we do see so we become examples for others and the ripples get ever wider.
This is so true Jonathan, supporting us also to drop the roles we have placed upon the many men in our lives. I only recently heard a woman say to a man ‘good thing you’re not too sensitive’ and his response was to completely not relate to what she had said. This man is beautifully gentle and loving and never backwards in coming forwards about his sensitivities; sometimes placing these roles and beliefs onto men only serves a woman by ignoring the fact that she is just as equally sensitive too.
That is a great observation Jonathan. The more men (and women) become themselves rather than the roles they play the more this will become the new normal – people loving and cherishing themselves for who they are and cherishing others for who they are.
I agree Jonathan and it is very delicious to feel a man not in the roles.
I see that when my husband doesn’t play any role how people just melt around him and feel also to let their guards down.
I agree Jonathan, it is awesome to have the reflection of such gentle men who reflect to us the real power and strength of embracing our tenderness and delicateness as men.
Hi Johanna, what blows me out also is there are so many lovely people like the beautiful men that you have describe here. When we start to appreciate ourselves this naturally opens our hearts to a whole new world of amazing people all of whom we can appreciate also. The opposite scenario is when we are down on ourselves all we come across seem to be depressed as well. We really do dictate what gets reflected back to us. This gives up the power to change our world by changing the way we are with our self.
So true Kathleen ‘We really do dictate what gets reflected back to us’ so the more we choose to appreciate ourselves the more appreciation we have for those around us, men and women. A truly amazing transformation that is within our power.
I agree – I have found if I don’t judge a person to be grumpy or angry or sad, but just treat them the same as everyone else, with a smile and genuine care, then they all get the same opportunity to come out of their shell and be happy, or not, but its surprising how many people are only grumpy etc, when you treat them like they are.
And when we do choose to be down and out then we do end up missing the many many beautiful people that are in this world. Or to say another way when we are not ourselves and distracted we miss the essence in others and can see life negatively.
Johanna I could feel the appreciation in your words as I read your blog. It is lovely to hear how you have come to appreciate men and the natural tender caring quality they have and how you also appreciate yourself for these same qualities.
I just the other day stopped and appreciated how simple and normal it is for me now to openly share my appreciation for someone and the qualities they bring. This was huge, because before meeting Serge Benhayon, I couldn’t express how I really felt to anyone because I hadn’t truly connected with myself and appreciated myself first. Now I am constantly amazed by seeing others for who they are.
I used to feel very uncomfortable with appreciation that was expressed towards me from others, I did not have much for myself and I did not appreciate much in others. Now what I feel and see and express is a true blessing.
Johanna, I can so relate to that – I used to squirm when someone expressed appreciation towards me, some of the times I could feel I wasn’t sure about the energy it was delivered in, but most of the times it was because I really couldn’t fathom why they even appreciated me as I always felt I could be more than I was.
I used to be hugely uncomfortable with appreciation expressed towards me too, it was actually because I was uncomfortable in general within myself and deeply unaccepting of who I was. The more I accept who I am and how amazing I am, the more excepting I am of other people’s appreciation.
I love that transformation! I used to feel awkward telling people how great they are. Now it is a natural as getting of bed, in fact, like getting out of bed it is an essential of life.
Beautiful Rachel, true appreciation is so natural to do with no trying at all.
Me too!
Johanna, this is beautiful and reminds me of many gorgeous men that I’ve met over the last few years. I am no longer surprised at how quick we can make long lasting connections with others we have just met.
What really stood out for me though about appreciation is that I never considered ‘appreciating’ myself at all before I started attending Universal Medicine… growing up ‘appreciating yourself’ meant you were ‘up your self’ or ‘love your self’ (which makes me laugh now, because that’s actually true!)… and if someone slipped up then others would be quick to bring them down a peg or two. What a game, so many of us have not wanted to stand out and instead down play ourselves to make others comfortable for not being who they truly are as well. Reflecting another way to be with ourselves and others like you do Johanna and the men you speak of, can inspire others to also open up and connect.
Awesome Aimee. It reminds me of how ‘appreciating oneself’ is actually such a natural thing, I know I used to do it all the time (because I do it now) but it wasn’t a thought otherwise back then.
Johanna in reading your blog, there are some particular men I know that come to mind that I can really admire and appreciate for their openness in the way they express, how they don’t play to the rules of how they should speak to me as a woman, e.g. no worrying about whether I would get the wrong idea if they give me a compliment.. They don’t hold back in being themselves and there is a real intimacy when being around men like this. It is not sexual, only very pure, and brought about through their willingness to let their guard down and express love – equally to all people. It is amazing how healing this is as it allows trust with men to be built and supports me to know that as a woman I am deeply precious and worth caring for.
“I love that I can see these amazing qualities in others and myself.” Yes, everything is a two way road and this simple sentence reveals it so beautifully. You appreciating you appreciating another.
“I used to see men more for the roles they played, or what they could do for me, or for their family.”
This is a very apt statement Johanna, for how tunneled our vision can become – we get so used to seeing others in terms of what they do, that we forget to see who they are.
This highlights the way that we are in relationship or should I say arrangement.
True Liane. And this tunnelled vision can begin quite young when it is what we observe the adults around us doing as we grow up.
Love has no gender, so if we find gender gets in the way of us seeing and feeling love, it is because we have disconnected to love. When we reconnect, it is a very gorgeous thing to observe how love expresses through each gender, equally so, albeit at times with a slightly different flavour.
Beautifully expressed Liane ‘love has no gender’ and when we find when we do reconnect back to the love and equality that we all are is that the illusions we have been under (the ways in which we have been fooled to think otherwise) are exposed for what they are, pure lies and therefore have no foundation to exist. Creating a new platform to stand on as an equal human being in this world and holding all others in this same light is paramount in our moving forward, or rather backwards to the brotherhood we were always meant to be.
Beautifully said Liane.
Before meeting Serge Benhayon and studying with Universal Medicine, I was too caught up in my own issues to look up and see the beauty that was right in front of me. I now love meeting ‘strangers’ and appreciating their unique qualities. We miss out on so much when we do not have the openness to see what is there in ourselves and others.
Fiona I wonder if the word ‘stranger’ could even become redundant. I too love meeting new people but they never really do feel like strangers as deep down we all hold the same qualities.
I know what you mean Vicky- I meet so many people through my job all the time and I never have the feeling that person is a stranger. And they never get the feeling when they meet me, because for me there is no created distance, only because I haven´t met this person in person in this life before.
I can relate to this Fiona – being so caught up in my own issues (that I made up in the first place) that I was unable to see the beauty surrounding me. I’m still guilty of that at times, but appreciation of others (and myself) has been life changing.
Its super cool to meet someone at work and just revel in how lovely they are, see the qualities that make them them, and appreciate what they bring in just being themselves. It makes space for us all to be who we are.
I agree Amina, and engaging with people on this level is very enjoyable also. I have for quite a while disengaged with people, and reacted to outer behaviours, completely dismissing who they are every time. The responsibility is back in our hands, when we connect to ourselves, we can connect with others, and in that life is very worthwhile.
I agree Arianne, connecting to ourselves, connecting to our inner heart is beautiful.
One thing I am becoming more and more aware of is how truly wonderful it is to meet people with our eyes. They are like magnets into the soul and share such tenderness. They also offer a beautiful reflection of our own love and that is a pretty special moment we can have many times throughout the day. Awesome sharing thank you Johanna.
What we often forget is that being a man is not about stereotypes like toughness etc. We react to these ideals because we feel that they are lies. I love men in their tenderness and love to be tender.
You are a beautiful example and role model of a tender man Felix….
I love men being themselves, without trying to live up to all the stereotypes we have around them in the world. I love tender men and I love you being tender, Felix.
Gorgeous Felix. Meeting men who are at ease with their tenderness within is always exquisite and inspiring. As the more we experience this, the more we get to feel and appreciate this tender quality in men, who they naturally are and that this is possible to live. And as we share our appreciation of this the more we re-build trust in feeling safe to be in our tenderness with all. Thank you for being one that reflects this so beautifully Felix.
Felix you have reflected to me a level of tenderness I have not experienced before, your exquisite attention to detail with loving consideration for all will be a marker in my body and a reference of my own exquisite tenderness. Thank you for such a beautiful reflection you bring to all.
Me too Felix. I agree this is why we react. A man in his tenderness is beautiful especially when that tenderness magnifies in his walk- a show stopping moment that would catch anyone’s eye- simply because it is our natural and true way of being.
Felix, you have blown me away with your tenderness, each time we have met you take the time to speak with me, never brushing off a moment when we meet -it has been very precious to feel. It has allowed me to realise how I have been generally acting around men, very awkward, meek, childish, flirty, basically not showing my natural self, but I have begun to take that same time you have shown me, to genuinely meet other men in my life and not become shy, contracted, nervous around them, but to treat them respect and love. When men show their true colours it is like a rainbow : )
I could so relate to your opening line Joanne. When I am talking with single women, they often say they want a partner so they have someone to do things with or help them with things they can’t do on their own. This always makes me cringe a bit, as I have fallen into this myself in relationships. I can now see that when your relationship is not evolving, you can become quite demanding of the things you think your partner ‘should’ be doing (to make up for this lack of true connection). This is no basis for love.
This is cringe worthy – when we simply use others eg. Men for jobs. I agree it feels horrible but I also understand that I thought this in the past because that was the way it was as I grew up with that mentality. So no judgement just understanding and a big learning of a truer way to be.
Johanne I have begun to understand and deeply appreciate how much appreciating others and ourselves is needed to counter all the hurts that are held between people. It is the antidote to comparison and disconnection. It is the golden key that we all hold that has the potiental the heal the world.
Absolutely true Sharon, I agree 100%. Yesterday I was walking, and I felt so joy-full that i just couldn’t contain how I was feeling. As I was walking home Is topped and has brief conversation with a man that I have met once or twice, and he said some things and asked some questions that would usually make me on edge, but I simply appreciated him and myself. Often there is so much protection carried around by men, and it shows in the way they communicate; always talking about what they do and justifying themselves, or trying to prove something (even is its not obvious). But yesterday If let my conversations as free of that, and I felt I had the openness of when I was 3 again, then I didn’t know what it was to justify or prove, I only told truth and my super intelligence is all about connecting with people, rather than shutting them out.
I agree Sharon. Appreciation is a golden key.
Thank you Johanna, I loved reading about the two men you have been appreciating and I too have experienced this care and tenderness from men. I can see how as we develop appreciation in all of life the values every one brings can be felt more and more.
Thank you for your sharing here, Johanna, I love how you have developed such an appreciation for men now, and obviously for yourself. I can relate to what you say, I have found this with some of the tradesmen that I have helped me with various jobs in my home over the past 7 years. One that especially stands out is an electrician, semi-retired, a lovely gentle man. I arrived home late one sunday afternoon after being away a couple of weeks and found I had no electricity. My fridge/freezer had been off for some time, an awful mess, and I had no lights. I had little expectation of help and did not know what to do, but rang this man’s number at home, even though I did not know him well at that point. He was around within 10 minutes, found that the power had been cut off through a faulty pond pump outside, and was able to at least get the lights on for me to help me out for that night. Then he was around first thing in the morning to repair the damage so I could again get power to all my appliances. This man is so graceful, open and caring in all that he does, we have become good friends, and I so appreciate him. Through him, I have found a number of other lovely men of great integrity and caring to help with other little problems that come up from time to time. I now have developed a great appreciation for the men who assist me.
Beverley your comment reminds me of my neighbour, also a lovely gentle man who quietly volunteers his time to help myself and others with little odd jobs. Always a smile, some conversation and a genuineness that I really appreciate.
It’s super amazing when the people who do work on our homes have integrity and tenderness. The job they do always feels beautiful to me.
That is beautiful Johanna, I love relating with men (and women) everywhere in every day life, in our open love, it is another’s choice to accept this equal love of themselves or not, and more often than not they do because we are just being ourselves without needing anything to change or not change.
Often in the past I have been dismissive of opportunities to appreciate what men have offered me even in simple interactions. I have often found myself feeling awkward when met with openness and friendship but I can now see that this was a reflection of the state of my own relationship with myself. Thankfully, things have changed a lot and I am now much more open with both sexes as I have come to deepen my awareness and appreciation of myself.
Hello Johanna Smith and I love appreciation, what a great word and better still what a powerful action. When you say, “I love that I can see these amazing qualities in others and myself. I now know what true connection feels like and I can have it with other people in my everyday activities.” it feels like this has come directly from your relationship with these men and the appreciation of it. I love your work Johanna, thank you.
Thank you Raymond.
What I love about reading this today is the reminder that those qualities that you appreciate in these men are so simple yet so powerful. I feel that is why we don’t appreciate ourselves and others enough because we override the simplicity in what we see/receive – a smile, a nod, a being held, being present, greeting another with all of you.
We all crave connection with others, and when that connection is offered with genuine love – even if it’s just a smile or looking someone in the eye, it warms peoples hearts and is always remembered.
So true Paula, simple gesture of connection is so appreciated by others. I know for myself it can completely change my day if someone takes the time to stop and connect to me, say hello or smile. It is these seemingly small gestures that can change the quality of our day and goes to show how important it is to appreciate what we can each bring when we take the time to be open and connect to others.
Yes this is a complete moment.
Exactly Paula, it is a beautiful moment to have connection with others that is offered with genuine love, ‘even if it’s just a smile or looking someone in the eye, it warms peoples hearts and is always remembered.’ Something so simple and yet so powerful.
It is so ordinary but so rare to find a man who is just being natural. A lot of men live in competition, protection, or hardness, driven by time pressure. So it does stand out when you meet a natural guy who does not play ball with all that.
Very true Bernard – I know what you are talking about. I also had built my own little world and my world was full of protection, competition, hiding. The main reason for that was, that I carried a lot of hurts inside me. Since I start to address my hurts and issues, I can let go more and more of my protection.
Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have come to see that the way I am with others and the regard and appreciation I have for them is reflected back to me no matter their gender. The men who are students of the Way of the Livingness are wonderful role models of the beautiful tender qualities men hold, and the strength there is in that way of being is truly worth appreciating. These tender qualities are in all men and if we as women recognise that in them then I find they are usually only too willing to let down their guard and be their wonderful vulnerable tender selves and let others in.
Appreciation brings such a depth to life when I express it. In both feeling appreciation for myself and in feeling appreciation for others.
I agree Amina, my relationships with people have changed immensely since meeting Serge Benhayon. And like you said it almost feels like I never saw people any other way than I do now. Though I do remember I did! It was such a flat way of seeing people just as a man or just as a woman with all the stereotypes etc. Now I see peoples different qualities, how everyone seems to express in their own beautiful way and to appreciate this is a really lovely thing to do.
Appreciation is like a delicate wash of our eyeballs. It removes the smear of judgements, stereotypes, caricatures and preferences that stops us seeing that beautiful man right before our eyes.
Gorgeous Rachel, ‘a delicate wash of our eyeballs’ indeed – instead of being tainted by judgement et al as mentioned, we are able to receive the true beauty and essence of the man or woman standing before us. Life changing.
So beautiful Rachel – ‘ a delicate wash of our eyeballs’ – what a gentle picture this brings, washing off the layers of misconceptions and ideals, so we can see clearly again the tenderness and love inherent in all of us, be it men or women, equally so.
This is so accurate Rachel when what we see is tainted by our Judgment etc, it is an unreal and distorted image. I get it that appreciation actually does wash this off leaving you to see clearly the beautiful truth. I love it.
Yes Rachel this delicate wash of the eyeballs is a blessing and the more we appreciate ourselves the more we are willing to see the beauty in others.
Many think they are looking for success and happiness, but in truth all we want is love and connection. What you share about these men is inspirational – it is what we are all capable of should we so choose.
And isn’t it simple that this search of the success and happiness can simply be found through appreciating oneself.
It is true Johanna, accepting and appreciating yourself leaves you open to feel and appreciate others.
In full appreciation of men, what a lovely piece of writing. I have also changed my view, understanding and appreciation of men in the same way Johanna. There is so much in men that had been missed for the misconceptions and hurts around men. It is an absolute glorious joy to know the truth of men and to be able to feel that in them. A truly beautiful and tender gender.
To be open with people, including men really does change the way we interact with others. It also changes our perception of ourselves. I am continually reminded that people are very sensitive and to hold this in mind when interacting with anyone. This really can change the dynamic of any interaction allowing the gentleness to flow. For sure your willingness to change old patterns Johanna has contributed to you seeing the beauty in men.
Johanna, in the past I had never really given any consideration as to whether I appreciated men or not, nether had I ever appreciated myself. It never entered my head. I had always given my power away to men believing that they knew more than me and they always knew best, and for most of them (not all) they were only interested in one thing, sex. It is different now, thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and all of the beautiful, tender, sensitive, non-imposing, honest, genuine and loving men that are associated with it. These men have shown me a different side to them, a side that is true and loving and what it is to be a true man, one that is not based on roles and ideals and beliefs of what a man ‘should’ be. Now, when I go about my day or sit in the office I look around at the men and see them in a different light, beneath that exterior there is a tender, sensitive little boy who has just lost himself along the way. Thank goodness they now have a reflection of what it is to be a true man in the world, and the number one example of that is Serge Benhayon himself, and not forgetting Curtis and Michael Benhayon too of course, gorgeous men, all of them.
I absolutely agree 100% with what you say here Sandra and am super appreciative of the very tender reflection Serge, Curtis and Michael have provided of what a true man is.
If we don’t appreciate ourselves how can we appreciate another? Your sharing here makes it super clear Johanna how there is no real separation. We are one, brothers, sisters, mothers, sons and so appreciation for anyone is appreciation for us too. And wow we are so well worth valuing, as you do. Thank you.
It is beautiful to read where you have come to in your relationship with men Johanna. You show how powerful appreciation is to feel in our bodies, both of ourselves and of others. There are so many Joyfull connections to be discovered and appreciation is key to embracing the fullness of the love we share.
Wow this is beautiful Johanna. To feel the depth of your appreciation for others allows me to feel the depth of what we can do for each other when we live connected. How just a smile or a word from a complete stranger can literally change our day or our life. Also makes me aware of how important it is for us to live connected because if we are cranky, rude, dismissive, shutdown in anyway whether we want to realise it or not we are impacting on others.
I love your everyday example of gorgeous tender men, who really meet you. I start seeing and appreciating men more and more for the wonderful human beings they are. And the more I do that the more men I meet with these qualities.
In the past I found myself far more likely to find fault with a man than discover his tender and sensitive qualities. Appreciation allows me to see the true essence of another no matter how they may behave. When a man expresses his sweetness it is a blessing to be able to appreciate it. Without appreciation we are blind to the gifts that each person offers.
I have had the same experience with meeting Serge Benhayon and his family too Johanna. Even though I am a man I perhaps did not even know what it meant to be a true man until I saw, felt and observed the very way Serge lives so lovingly and tenderly with all.
‘Both men have integrity, are very respectful and value relationships with other people and have a beautiful way of connecting with people’. Is this not what life is about, connecting to people and to be in the true value of who we are.
Thank you Johanna for reflecting that when we value ourselves we are able to see and feel the value in those around us.
We seem to say it over and over again that to appreciate others we need to appreciate ourselves. I have come to learn that the depth of this appreciation is not just the things I am good at but what I struggle with and why, what it is that I still have to learn and what i bring to each situation.
I too have to here appreciate the lovely men that I have met on the Universal Medicine workshops and retreats both in Australia and the UK. It is totally wonderful to see and feel the tenderness emerging and it is naturally within all men, no matter of age, background, career or experience.
Appreciation makes an amazing change in our lives as suddenly it is not about comparison or being as individual as possible. Instead we can see – often for the first time – how much we have in common and yet how very unique and amazing we all are.
Bringing appreciation to our lives is life changing indeed – a complete game changer. It is nothing less than “magical” to me.
Johanna you have shared such an important point in how men will present as dismissive, racy, forceful and imposing but underneath lies the qualities you have witnessed in the men you have meet. It is from your choice to be respectful and understanding that offers them the joy of showing you the qualities they bring to another.
The world needs more men in life who can express that ‘patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring’ side as by example, this type of expression permits others – both men and women – to connect to those qualities in themselves and express in this way without the need for the protection that breeds the forcefulness, raciness, dismissiveness or imposition that is evident in many of us.
You had my attention at the title Johanna! There is indeed so much to appreciate about men. Recently I attended a meeting where the tenderness that was expressed by the men in the meeting just astounded me. Their tenderness was so divine that it made me feel all the areas of hardness and protection and lack of tenderness that I still hold in my own body.
Johanna, what you describe here touches my heart as I did not appreciate men at all in my past. I only felt hurt by them, used and manipulated. I start to realize that this is an image I carry which is not true. Your blog inspires me to feel even more different concerning men, to open up and to let go of this untrue past image.
Beautiful, deeply touched by your words. It is those connections and relationships in everyday life that are the biggest presents. I feel the same love for men and more and more, I can truly see them for who they are: gorgeous, tender, humble, fragile and just absolutely sweet and beautiful.
Susan, from reading your comment I get to feel that without understanding we lack the ability to appreciate others as we stay stuck in judgement and never really see another for who they truly are.
It is amazing and worth noting that the more we appreciate and value ourselves the more we start to value and appreciate others around us.
This is beautiful Michelle. I have a husband who is very tender, gentle and caring and the more he surrenders to these beautiful qualities the more I love him and the sexier he is.
Johanna this reminds me of new male relationships I have developed this year. One is with the local road crossing attendant who assists people crossing the road before and after school which happens to be near our house and thus we get to see each other often. The other is the local service station owners, on the corner of our street, who still come out and fill your car up with petrol. All three are middle aged to old men but I am often surprised about what they converse about, what they observe and how freely they open up. They don’t miss a beat and love a good chat.
Johanna what I can feel here is your true beauty and stillness that meets these men and how you reflect each other. Your level of appreciation for yourself can only equal your appreciation for others. It is simply beautiful.
Men are often thought to be the ones who can save the world, and a lot of growing up is learning that we have to be tough, not fail (in whatever way that means) and enjoy all the things then ‘men’ enjoy. But never are they asked to be themselves, never are they rewarded for being tender and expressing sensitivity. The true man has a great side of femaleness, and this is what we are all naturally born with, its just that we learn to be more from the ‘male’ energy because that is how we ‘get things done’ and not feel how we truly feel.
And I can assure you Harrison, that as women deepen their appreciation of their connection to their own femaleness we come to so deeply appreciate it in men. This I can testify from most beautiful experience.
The tender man is the one who will change this world, and never forget this.
I’ll be sure to never forget that Rachel!
Gorgeous Harrison, a true man leading the way inspiring other men they can do the same. Deeply appreciated by me.
To be able to hold both the qualities of femaleness and maleness in an equal balance is truly inspiring.
Johanna, I have realised too that appreciation is something that didn’t figure very much in my life. However it is now something I am actively engaging with, in fact when I felt the huge dismissal of appreciation in my life it was very sad to feel. To appreciate is an activity that I can feel opens up my relationship with myself and one which is actually very natural to have with others. What I’m realising is that the more deeply I drop ‘being hard on myself’ the simpler and more natural it is to have appreciation. I must also say that without the lived, loving example in Serge Benhayon, I’d neither have been able to drop the lack of appreciation. Now there’s something to appreciate!
I can be so automatically ‘hard on myself’ that any thought of appreciation for myself or others goes out the window. Like you, Rosanna, dropping that is key to appreciating and thus enjoying me and the world and without Serge Benhayon and now more and more others, I’d never have seen this. Yes I appreciate all this too!
In this blog I feel how appreciation can make seemingly insignificant relationships in our lives significantly inspiring..
“appreciation can make seemingly insignificant relationships in our lives significantly inspiring” – this should be a well known and famous quote Abby!
Agreed Alexandra – lack of appreciation does make for a dull life full of drive and very little celebration.
I love what you describe here and how the way you view men (and women) has changed since meeting Serge Benhayon and attending Universal Medicine events. It takes appreciation and love of oneself to truly extend that love and appreciation to others.
So true – how often do people treat each other like the extension of a machine and purely defined by their role, functionality and mutual usefulness and without any regard of the preciousness that each and every one of us holds at our core.
Hear hear- well expressed Gabriele, this just means that we are on auto-pilot instead of truly connecting first. Very harmful I’d say…
Indeed it is such a limited way of seeing people reducing people to how they can fulfil our own needs.
It’s interesting that when we begin to appreciate ourselves how easy it is to appreciate others. Since finding Universal Medicine I’ve come to appreciate the sensitivity of men and now understand that the toughness that some of them exhibit is simply a veneer to protect the tenderness within.
Deborah this is so true – as a society we so easily judge a person for their behaviour and forget that there is always the tenderness they are trying to protect. I too have come to understand and appreciate this important fact with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
This is true for me also Deborah. Thanks to the work of Universal Medicine I had no idea of the true tenderness of men or that their greatest hurt is not being loved for the true tenderness and preciousness they are. Just this simple understanding has changed my life and every relationship I have.
The tenderness I have seen and felt from the men through attending Universal Medicine is nothing I have seen before in a group of people. The support, care and inspiration that many men have felt to return to their born tenderness is truly amazing. It is also awesome to hear their stories of how they once were and to how they choose to be now. Inspiring and refreshing.
Today at work there was a commotion outside. I looked out to the street and saw a middle aged man quite agitated, aggressive and yelling. As I continued to observe him, I saw beyond the outer presentation to the tender boy and his fragility. I saw him for who he is and I knew he was being met even though he did not see me. This was a healing for him as it was for me.
I can feel your love and appreciation, Johanna.
What I learn about appreciation is if I appreciate myself I easily appreciate others. And vice versa, when I don’t and am hard on myself, I don’t see anything in others to appreciate, if man or woman.
Very true Ingrid, appreciation for self is the true key to appreciate others. Without it we are vulnerable to all that is telling us we are not enough.
I am appreciating your latest sharings Johanna on your husband and men in general. You are declaring openly and lovingly of the true tenderness that lays within men to remove the stigmas, pictures and ideals we may hold onto or have of men.
I felt the same Marcia – so much appreciation to you Johanna for your latest sharings on your husband and the beauty of men generally.
Me too Marcia. Very inspiring Johanna and so great to open up this discussion
I think there is not one person that doesn’t like being truly met for who they are, the men you are talking of seem lovely and I know from what you share of them I have met many people like that in my life. When I do meet them I appreciate them for who they are and what they bring, it is a great quality to have (integrity and love and inclusion of others) and I completely get what you say in that being with these people lifts you ?
It is so beautiful to have the care and appreciation for yourself that has lead you to appreciate these men and others. I find the simple joy of noticing how lovely people are is exquisite.
“To add to this I also had very little appreciation for myself, and women in general too.”
I agree Amanda, to realise that appreciating oneself opens you up to a whole new world of appreciating, liking, enjoying and really seeing others, both men and women, changes one’s life! I really like that you used the word, ‘exquisite’ … it is such an apt word, and yes noticing how lovely people are, is the most delicate and warming experience to be living with.
No matter if man or woman, the look in a person’s eye and the ability to fully connect brings a connectedness to everyone around them.
In the same way a smile is contagious so is the marvellous radiance coming from any who is truly caring, loving and uncompromising in their love in expression.
Looking deeply in another’s eyes is like swimming in a delicious sea.
Yes it is – and it is telling you stories much deeper than any words can do. It’s like time stands still, yet you have access to eternity.
Beautifully said Luke, it is so deep when we truly connect and the feeling when we truly make contact through the eyes is just awesome.
Beautifully expressed Luke. A deep care and love for others that asks for nothing in return other than to offer a fellow brother the opportunity to be reminded of who they are. True love in expression, thank you Luke.
It is truly beautiful that when we choose to not see people through our laced perceptions, that we can appreciate those who live truly connected and express from that, embracing people with a loving quality that hugs you on the inside, reminding us that we are that too.
Johanna, it is so important to notice these people, to appreciate them for who they are, as you have done. We all have the ability to inspire and support others as well as ourselves. Sometimes we just need to open our eyes and our hearts to see the wonders around us.
It is so beautiful and affirming to meet someone who has the gorgeous qualities you have described Johanna. It is also your loving refection that has allowed them both to open up to you as well.
The more we start to appreciate ourselves the more it comes back to us through others. I too have noticed this occurring since my self-appreciation has increased the qualities I feel in myself also are felt coming from others. It seems odd to consider how can we be individual when we all feel the same?
Such a crack up the saying goes “when you don’t need it you receive it”. Anything driving a need outside ourselves will never be confirmed as that would always confirm we are less, only once we live who we are in truth will confirmation come to continually inspire us to be more. Now this is true love.
Simply gorgeous Johanna. To stop and appreciate the qualities in others is so important and helps us to appreciate ourselves too. It’s possible to go through life oblivious to the people around us and what they bring. By stopping to appreciate we open up a whole new dynamic to our life which is not based on the all too usual self important drive that keeps us blinkered to everything around us.
I completely agree, it really stands out when you meet people who take time to connect in this way. It is an incredible gift no matter what age it comes from. One of the things kids miss is this connection from their parents. I have been called to account a fair few times in my life for being distracted when they were trying to tell me something really important from their day. It would only have taken me a moment to focus on them. This blog reminds me of the importance of really meeting everyone, giving undivided attention and feeling the amazing connection.
Yes, Lucy. In the past I have been driven by ideals and beliefs that I have to be or deliver something when interacting with another, rather than giving them the gift of my presence and simply meeting them in that moment. Yesterday I was at the vets, and a lovely labrador had obviously been in for some tests and was looking a bit fragile. A little girl of about four just came and sat next to him on the floor, and they just sat there together. It was beautiful and exactly what was needed.
Even a momentary meeting on a train or bus, when someone feels fully met, the meeting is transformed. It only takes a split second, but they know they have been met.
As you have said Johanna, in the past I did not have any sense of true appreciation either for myself or for anyone else. As I begin to appreciate myself more it gives me the time and space to appreciate others – and in particular men. When we begin to connect to ourselves, we are more able to connect to others and appreciate that in essence we all hold these same values and as we appreciate we are more able to live these values.
‘These men… are living life to the full and yet have held on to the beautiful tenderness and self-connection they would have had as young boys’. This was my take home sentence from the blog Johanna. What more is there than the natural sweet tenderness that is inherently ours from the moment of our birth, expressed fully throughout our lives so that is still there in us with all its purity as we retire – older, wiser, more evolved and developed and beaming out to others to inspire them to simply be all that they are.
What a difference appreciation makes. Lovely to relate that, as women, to our experiences with men. I am becoming more open with men and less likely to hold back what I feel and surprisingly, just as Michelle has shared, when I call out unacceptable behaviour I can feel that I am being heard and that the love is felt. In some instances too, these men do begin to acknowledge the love that is in them and allow for a more expanded sense of themselves.
I can say whole heartily with you that, “Men in their tenderness simply melt me”. There is nothing more beautiful to witness than men being tender with each other without feeling restricted of how this might be perceived by a world that doesn’t accept this as the norm. If men can be free to express their innate sweetness to women out in the world why do we not allow the same for men to express sweetly to other men?
Yes men expressing their sweetness with other men is so healing for all.
So true a man who is able to show his vulnerability and tenderness is a wonderful thing to behold.
Making eye contact with men and feeling totally in harmony with them is beautiful and something not many of us experience. We often avoid true eye contact because of not quite wanting to let our guard down, but when we do, the feeling is gorgeous as we can feel their innate tenderness.
There is so much beauty and healing on offer in making true eye contact, it does not make sense to not bring this at the foundation of our every relationship/encounter
I love what you have expressed here Carmel about being open to making eye contact with men; that it is beautiful and the feeling that you receive is gorgeous and tender, something which, as you say, all men innately are.
Beautiful Carmel – I would say that goes for women too, when we truly let our guards down and let another in, it is a significant feeling.
There is no culture, race, religion, colour, social economic back ground in the eyes, just a window to the soul reminding us all that we are one.
Indeed Carmel, and I find that when I see and feel their innate tenderness that it calls me back to mine … I can get pulled away from myself during the day and automatically harden – looking into a man’s eyes even for just a few seconds, can assist me in dropping that hardness and in returning me to me.
I am finding the more appreciation I have for myself, the vale of secrecy I have hidden behind for far to long is gone. I am now able to see and feel that there are other men that as you have said, still have not lost the tenderness of youth. They are a joy to meet and confirmation of who we truly are.
Yes Steve, they are such a joy to meet. Completely unimposing, delightful to be around and super caring.
It is such a shame that society has fallen for bringing young boys up to be tough and not be tender. Today I saw a lady run over half of her toddlers lower leg with a trolley, she stopped, waited for him to get out and then continued pushing the trolley outside with him hobbling and crying.
I stood in shock that no compassion or care was given to this little boy. Then I thought how sad that his tenderness has not been honoured and he is already expected to be tough.
Gorgeous Steve. Having ideals, beliefs or expectations towards a particular type of person, or gender, means we are not able to fully appreciate and greet these wonderful people in the world who have ‘not lost the tenderness of youth’, and are still super loving… What a blessing we are missing out on by holding onto past hurts.
Love it Steve, and I have no doubt that reconnecting back to the tenderness of your youth has totally rejuvenated and brought much joy to your daily life.
This is beautiful to read Joanna and I share the same feelings. since meeting Serge Benhayon and learning more and more to love and appreciate myself the more genuine love and appreciation I feel for and reflected from others . This is so lovely and really changes life and allows a joy and connection in side with everything and a great appreciation and understanding. A great sharing thank you.
When we let go of our hurts and open up to life and humanity we cannot help but appreciate the beauty and depth of tenderness in those who are also open to connection. There is nothing more joyful, than to appreciate one another in this way, and confirm our shared divinity simply with a smile or the twinkle of an eye.
I completely agree Janet- very true. For me I learned to let go of my hurts little by little the more that I allowed myself to connect and be with my body. The feeling of being with my true divinity superseded any hurt that was there. The stronger I felt the feeling of me being with me, then slowly hurts diminished. Now when a hurt pops up I have the foundation to be an observer of myself and unpack it from there.
Deep thanks to Serge for presenting a way of being in connection with myself.
I so relate to this too Johanna08.smith – it is an awesome realisation that when we truly let go of our hurts and drop into our true selves, how appreciation for self deepens, and this in turn deepens it for others too. I also found that appreciation for the person that I had felt previously hurt by, deepened for me when I let go of the hurt. The lightness of being is such joy to then feel and be with.
Yes Janet, these simple moments of exchange where true appreciation is shared between people is magical.
I recently heard someone say that “this hurt is not coming into my relationship”. It was so inspiring to hear that this person was so absolute in their love for themselves and their partner that they were willing to work on their past hurts so that they did not come in and impact on their relationship. We can use relationships to heal past hurts or we can use them to perpetuate the hurts and not deal with them. Always a choice yet how beautiful to know there is a choice.
The twinkle of the eye, or the ability to actually see someone is very much appreciated by any who receive it. It is a truly wonderful part of life.
I love this celebration of the power of appreciation and how it grows when we are truly connected. Thank you Johanna for sharing your expansion which allows me to reflect on how my relationships have changed and evolved and the appreciation I have for that.
Thank you Johanna. Reading your blog allowed me to feel deep appreciation for men I know. One in particular touches me with his openness, his love of humanity and how he sees life as having endless opportunities to connect with people. Being with him is a joy for he is deeply caring and consistent in the way he listens and he brings a gentle humour to life which touches everyone. Until recently I would not have felt this level of appreciation for someone else for I did not have appreciation for myself. What a great reflection we have all around us and how lovely to see that when we begin to appreciate ourselves we deepen our appreciation for others.
Johanna, I can relate to having little to no appreciation for men not so long ago, but that is changing and I am finding that being more open and willing to engage with them is changing my relationships drastically. This attitude that I carried around was purely down to lack of self worth, which I can now see was governing my life and was stunting my expression. So the more I appreciate me, the more I am seeing how valuable those around me are and people I come into contact with during my working day.
I agree Julie, when we turn away from other people, it being men or women, we miss out on the true connection. It is crucial to value and appreciate ourselves to be able to truly appreciate and connect with others.
Beautifully shared Johanna. I work with a number of men and I love the moments where we really connect and I get to see how genuinely caring they are, not necessarily with me but with other people who are needing care. It’s just delightful to see.
I work in a primarily male dominated industry, and thanks to the work of Serge Benhayon I can now see who they are, value their unique qualities, and see beyond the often presented picture to the sensitive man within.
That is pretty amazing Heather, after all, one of the things we really want the most is to be seen for who we truly are. What an amazing gift to be able to see past the picture someone puts out to meet them as who they really are.
It is beautiful that in life we are able to see beyond our existing beliefs because of lived experiences with other people that we meet providing a new reflection of the possibilities of a different way.
Its interesting how our beliefs can mask what is right before our eyes and if we keep the mask on, we miss out on seeing that there is in fact a different way. I guess keeping the mask on is a form of protection that actually causes more harm than protection!
Very true Rosie. Our own created belief masks our reality so that what we have before us simply confirms the beliefs we take on.
The inspiration by others such as Serge Benhayon and Simone Benhayon reminds me of my responsibility – the ripples that emanate from how I choose to live, and the impact that has on other people’s lives.
Even the way we walk down the street or the aisles of the super market can have an impact on others. In each moment we have the choice to reflect our power and love to everyone. When we choose something less, those same people miss out and it is much easier to continue on in the same way when an evolutionary reflection is not offered.
This is an important point you make, Simon, that the ripples emanating from the way we live affect other people’s lives. Other people means everybody on this planet and beyond.
Well said Simon – very honouring of you. Serge Benhayon and Simone Benhayon are the most inspiring people I know. Their wisdom and simplicity is a bi-product of what they choose to live. The more responsibility you choose to live with the more you are given to live life free of drama. Do we want to be responsible?
I agree. This is truly beautiful when we make this choice.
For sure Michael, it is like a ripple effect, if we live a quality or feel that quality from another it is always inspiring and allowing for more of the same in ourselves and in others. To meet people with full engagement as Johanna describes of the men is a truly special thing, yet special in a way that is open and possible for us all to do. That is what is lovely to read about this appreciative piece.
This is true Michael, but only if we are prepared and willing to look in the mirror. I spent many years growing up blaming others for the state of my life not realising that they were a reflection of how I was with myself. With this new awareness I can now look firmly in the mirror (or maybe a quick glance sideways if I’m not prepared to look at something), and take responsibility for the reflection I get back. This is where the appreciation comes in, I can then appreciate for me for having the courage to face square on, the reflection I see in the mirror and call out those old beliefs that are not needed anymore. And Michael Chater, you are one of those tender gentle-men, who I have the pleasure of knowing and I appreciate you for who you are, which is gorgeous!
I love what you wrote Sandra “This is where the appreciation comes in, I can then appreciate for me for having the courage to face square on, the reflection I see in the mirror and call out those old beliefs that are not needed anymore”. Beautiful Sandra. That’s a whole lot to appreciate – taking responsibility! Many times I focus too much on what I have been choosing that is not true instead of appreciating the new found level of awareness and simply accepting my choices I have brought it. Love it Sandra!
I second that Amina “Our lived experiences are everything and I am deeply appreciating that as I write this Michael, I have been humbled and made to realise how simple life can be if we are willing to really take a good long look at how we live our life in every single way”. You have nothing to loose when you choose this!
This is beautiful Johanna, it is lovely to read about these two male friends of yours, ‘Whenever I am around each of them I feel met and cared for because each of them takes the time to stop, really listen and hold a very caring level of eye contact throughout the conversation.’ I can feel how important these interactions are with people, when i’m feeling my caring, tender, playful self, i can feel how this lifts the people that I come into contact with, it feels beautiful giving people the time to talk and not rushing because it is these interactions and moments of engaging with someone that make a difference to peoples lives.
Absolutely Rebecca Wingrave we can never underestimate the power we hold in true connection with another human being and the impact or inspiration we can have on others when we truly connect with them.
I agree with both of you, Andrew and Johanna. As a child I loved to buy my school booklets in a little shop of a lady who treated me the same as adults. She took her full attention to serve me. And this was a indescribable feeling of appreciation. Over 30 years later I met her again on the street and told her what beautiful marker she had left in me. She started to cry – as now I could give her my appreciation back.
And I agree with all three of you. When we hold another in the equal Love we know we are, it confirms the truth of Love we truly are and equally share. Yes the power of holding and sharing our true connection to Love is simply inspirational. And in truth, we all want to feel and live Love in our lives.
What a beautiful story you are sharing here Sonja! What an incredible healing and joyful moment would have been missed, if you hadn´t expressed your appreciation towards her after all the years! How amazing it is, when we connect and open up and express what is true. Knowing you I do appreciate your openness and way of expression a lot and it is beautiful to read how you bless the world with it.
Lovely sharing Sonja, it just shows no matter how much time has passed, we have an impact with the choices we make. It is never too late to express what needs to be expressed, be it now or after many years – there will be an effect and this can make such a difference to someone else’s life as well as ours.
This is gorgeous Sonja. It’s sadly so rare that we express our appreciation for each other that it can be such a surprise that it moves us to tears. However stories like yours and Johanna’s are turning the tide – the beautiful reflections of appreciation we offer to others they may then be inspired to express to someone else, and so appreciation expands until it becomes reestablished as our natural and normal way.
This is super beautiful and shows the power that we have in true connection.
That is a beautiful story Sonja, and it highlights the importance of always expressing to another the appreciation we feel. It makes me hope that I bump into a few old teachers and family friends and gives me the opportunity to express my similar experiences and the profound impact I have felt from them. Simply love this, thank you!
Wow – that just goes to show the power of not only FEELING appreciation, but expressing it too. What an amazing gift to be able to share with someone just how amazing they are, and the difference they made in your life.
So gorgeous. It just shows us that we are all always having an impact on others. How wonderful that you got to express this to her. Recently I have been remeeting people from my childhood who are quite sick and elderly and I felt it to be super important to leave nothing unsaid, as in how they felt to me as a child, the quality they brought to me and what I appreciated about them. Appreciation offers expansion, confirmation and completion.
So true and half the time I am sure that we are not even aware of the effect we have on others.
Especially as it can and often is much stronger than we consider possible.
And yet, it serves us to remember that everything we think,say, do has an effect on us and everyone else as well.
Yes, as this is our responsibility to ourself and others as everything does have an effect on all of us.
Part of being in the world is that it is normal for us not to know the affect we have on others, but perhaps as we become more aware of who we are in the world, and all that that means, we will begin to get an inkling, and hence our journey of wisdom is expanded.
Love this Rebecca, true responsibility lived and the way we will change the world. No amount of technology and advancements in this or that can make up for or even come close to a simple act of connection, a smile, a touch a word of encourgagment – this is what will change the world, not who invented the rocket bomb. We get it so backwards – imagine giving out rewards for how we are with people instead of whether we got an A in this or that. I heard a mum say recently that she is tired of hearing teachers say nice things about her daughter and when I asked why, she said “I know she is lovely, I don’t want her to get rewards for that, I want her to get rewards for her maths and etc”. This is a mother who deeply loves her daughter and just shows how far of the mark we are of what is truly important.
“I can feel how important these interactions are with people, when I’m feeling my caring, tender, playful self, I can feel how this lifts the people that I come into contact with, it feels beautiful giving people the time to talk and not rushing because it is these interactions and moments of engaging with someone that make a difference to peoples lives.” I agree with you Rebecca, it is absolutely beautiful when we connect with people in this way, engaging fully at this level, giving ourselves and the other complete attention. It is at these times that we can feel the brotherhood that is possible for us all to live.
Yes, it is beautiful to see men behave this way and it is beautiful to see women behave that way as well, engaging others, being confident, caring and naturally expressing love.
That´s what life is about for me ! Connecting, allowing and showing myself in every connection. I agree a gentle eye contact, an engaging smile, expressed appreciation , a playful cheeky comment… That makes life alive and connected to everyone.
So true Rebecca – it’s beautiful to feel the heaviness lift from others when they are fully met with the lightness of who we all really are on the inside. It’s magic!
Rebecca it is so true, it’s about giving people space to talk and interact without rushing them, it’s those moments that make a difference. It’s the connection of presence that is felt which inspires and lifts the other person.
True Rebecca, I have tested this theory many times too. When I fully commit and deliver what is needed however long it takes magic happens! When I rush and worry about how long its taking, or I have not appreciated the amazing job and support I provide, things don’t go well. Simple, it works, and for all too.
Johanna, your blog reminded me of the fact that what we appreciate in others we also have within ourselves. I love how life is a mirror forever reflecting life back.
I’m not sure which reflection comes first, appreciating ourselves, or appreciating others, but what I do know is that the ‘more’ we appreciate ourselves, the ‘more’ we appreciate others… (And vice versa)… And so the reflection in the mirror keeps expanding and deepening.
“the ‘more’ we appreciate ourselves, the ‘more’ we appreciate others… (And vice versa)”- absolutely. There is such a deep joy that comes with appreciation. It is only a matter of starting expressing appreciation and committing to expressing more of it consistently. It may feel like an initial effort, but from there the flow of appreciation does not seem to stop anymore – it is just there, it’s everywhere and for everyone- ! I am not sure we can truly appreciate others with no platform of self-appreciation.
Yeah I like that too Alexandra.
If we don’t appreciate our selves we walk around feeling like everyone is doing us wrong.
When we appreciate ourselves we can feel we are worth loving and all others are too.
Beautiful Simon, appreciating self allows us to love and appreciate others. The reflection of appreciation is seen in others, the more we appreciate ourselves the more we appreciate others. It is so beautiful to connect to appreciation.
It seem that everything begins with ourself? Self-appreciation leads to appreciation for and from others, self-love to loving and being loved by others, self-care and nurturing to caring for and nurturing others and viva versa. How powerful is the science of reflection!
Thats the point Simon! Do I come (and express) from a point of ‘missing something’ or from my fullness?! Where I come from I will go.
Great quote from you Sandra: “where I come from, I will go”. I love the simplicity and deep truth from this sentence, itself being like a signpost. Thank you.
This is key Simon – ‘When we appreciate ourselves we can feel we are worth loving and all others are too.’ Thank you.
Beautifully said Simon. We can also feel like we are wrong when we don’t appreciate ourselves. We are worth loving deeply and it is not something that gets taught to us as a key in life.
Agree Simon, at some point when we feel we are not being met for who we are, we have not stopped to appreciate and confirm who we are. Comparison kills me with this one. I know when something is ‘gold’, but I choose not to appreciate it because I have not bothered to make that choice and appreciate it for myself. It comes down to responsibility and accepting you do know how to make that choice … if the reflection is there why not make that choice with them?
Simon, I love your sweet and short comment because for me it is so true. I was an expert in walking around and feeling like everyone is doing me wrong . . . since I appreciate myself more deeply I can feel my own worth more and more and so I can not hold back to love as well with every gesture and movement I do.
Learning to appreciate ourselves means we do not need to seek validation and approval outside of ourselves and we can confirm ourselves not for what we do but simply being.
‘If we don’t appreciate our selves we walk around feeling like everyone is doing us wrong.’ What a gold comment Simon! you’ve touched on something so important in that the way we treat ourselves and appreciate or unappreciate ourselves effects us in every moment of the day. And if we don’t live with a deep care and appreciation for who we are then it is like the whole world is against us. But when we cherish ourselves it changes our whole approach to life.
‘Simon- what you said about if we don’t appreciate ourselves we walk around feeling that life or people are doing us wrong – made me think of teenagers who are having a stressful period in their lives due to unresolved childhood stuff and think the world is against them. But life and people we meet are a reflection of our Livingness..
How important is it then to learn how to appreciate our worth from a young age.
The judgement, reaction and blame that we set aside for others are often a reflection of what we are truly not appreciating about ourselves. The more time we spend on doing and wanting to change leaves us never feeling that life is enough. The responsibility in choosing appreciation in each of our movements brings more to live and love and that can only be felt and appreciated in others.
It is interesting that as soon as we start to appreciate our walk instantly changes. It’s so simple yet so powerful.
I agree Alexandra, it is the more we appreciate ourselves that we in turn can appreciate others. This is a very simple but worth while life principle that can build and bring deep joy.
Yes Raegan, learning to appreciate ourselves is a sure way of deepening self love, and when we feel this within our selves it’s irresistibly gorgeous seeing and feeling this quality in other people to – and recognising how we are all essentially the same, just different shapes, sizes, skin colour and hair colour.
And it makes perfect sense after all how can we fully appreciate another or give anything to another that we are 1st not giving to ourselves.
I agree Alexandra When we are connected, life is abundant and we can’t but appreciate life, divinity and our natural way.
Yes life is abundant when lived in this divine connection even if on a material level our life is very simple.
Alexandra, I relate strongly to that, in times where I doubt myself I have no appreciation for anyone else, and this is such a stark contrast to the appreciation I feel all around me when I have taken the steps to appreciate and love myself. It is crazy how we make loving our self seem egotistical and arrogant, when in fact it is the foundation for supporting others to shine also.
It is crazy isn’t it Stephen G, that loving and appreciating ourselves is seen as arrogant, when it is the most essential ingredient to loving and joyful, harmonious relationship with all others.
This is so true Stephen, when we have taken the time to love and appreciate ourselves the world seems like a different place, and we are able to appreciate others for all that they bring.
The arrogance and egotistical responses are a stark reminder of how far we can go in counter act what so many see in us. When we celebrate ourselves whole heartedly and keep building levels of appreciation we can be more and therefore live more of the quality of life that there is for us to live.
I actually would say that it is impossible to appreciate another if we do not have a marker of self-appreciation in our own body. Not only that but if we have no appreciation for ourselves we will struggle to actually be able to accept appreciation from another.
I agree with that one Elizabeth. I can have the most glorious things said to me and if I’m not choosing me it will not come in.
I completely agree with this. Through consistently taking the time to appreciate something in myself everyday, I can now see how I appreciate the people in my life so much more as well. And some days it’s not easy to appreciate myself if I feel a bit off, but the intention and the doing of it usually brings me back to my joy, it’s amazing!
Yes a good question Angela, l’m inclined to say it has to be for ourselves first… from my own experience that is. If no self-appreciation, then seeing greatness in others is a source of tension and angst that we’re not living up to anything like that ourselves (when we know clearly that we could be). Essentially the definition of comparison and jealousy… with true appreciation (or ourselves) as the antidote. It is impossible to not appreciate others if I am appreciating myself.
I agree Jenny, it always has to start with ourselves…this goes for anything in life. The love that I can share with another can only be what I give to myself first.
Precisely Jenny – ‘It is impossible to not appreciate others if I am appreciating myself.’
It is wise therefore to connect deeply and to know ourselves.
Completely Jenny. It makes sense for us to develop and deepen appreciation, consideration, self love, gentleness etc as when we have founded a certain level or marker of these true qualities in ourself then it is impossible for us to treat others any lesser than this level. So from this truth it is completely uniting and loving to be self caring and confirming as it supports the whole of humanity.
Its almost like a formula.
When the cup is FULL we can drink from it and it is thirst quenching.
When we are full of love we are naturally able to appreciate and care for others.
When the cup is EMPTY we are searching for something to quench our thirst and cannot consider caring for others because the substance is simply not there.
Lets fill our cups to the brim and we will always feel we can share. :):)
Beautifully said Johanna, it is a formula. Once that marker is known in your body that can be the foundation for which you stand and use anywhere at anytime. That choice becomes your choice.
I like this Jenny, ‘It is impossible to not appreciate others if I am appreciating myself,’ this has been my experience. Appreciation of self is vital especially as you say if we do not want to get caught in comparison and jealousy.
Thank you for the reminder Jenny. Self-appreciation is powerful and supports our relationship with others and the world.
It is a bit like the chicken and egg debate….what is lovely that all we need concern ourselves with is the fact that they feed each other in an ever deepening cycle of more and more love.
Yes Rachel, and once connected with it starts to roll, and magnifies; we don’t have to “think” about it, it happens once we have chosen the energy of appreciation instead of blame.
Feels like we are in that cycle already, and when we start to appreciate that… A little appreciation can go a long long way! (I have just read Joan Calder’s comment, exactly what i was feeling too)
Yes they do feed each other so less debate needed and more appreciation I think!
So true Sarah, appreciation is the key. To appreciate we have to let go of any judgment on ourselves, and so on others. Then we can accept ourselves and others for who we all are, and appreciate that! It is endless once we begin, and gradually old, tired habits of protection fall away.
If I appreciate someone but do not accept that the same is in me – I say I am less. But less or more are both evils from the same old coin of separation. But we are equal. That is the truth. If we sell our selves for less, we give up on our power and we support separation.
To get inspired by someones expression of the same truth we all are is wonderful and the way we go. But to be inspired includes the knowing of our oneness and it means that we bring into activity what did sleep in us and so we join each other. If we ‘just’ appreciate the other but don’t bring alive again the same in us – we hold back and separate us from each other.
Well well said Sandra, as inspiration comes from the heart and so does it know its origin. Then as you mentioned it is important to accept this deep wisdom of our hearts and acknowlegde it to be true in order to have it as a marker/embodiment in our lives. It is not a mental game, but always a true way that is being held in the body. Appreciation comes from within, not outside.
Beautifully said Rachel. The cycle of reflection is indeed one of great love, forever offering us the opportunity to deepen within ourselves and therefore with others. Neither is actually possible without the other and what I know for myself is that all I can do is be responsible for my part in appreciating myself and others equally.
Very true Penny. You can’t appreciate others without appreciating yourself or vice versa. What I realised for myself is that I appreciate others more than I appreciate me. And that I’ve found it hard to accept appreciation from others because of this lack of appreciation for me. The appreciation is something work stopping to do and allow in our everyday.
Awesome Rachel — so does that mean we have a responsibility to appreciate our self?
I can feel this too, Angela. I can feel my awareness of those around me expanding so much as I become more aware of myself and how I am in the world. In this expansion I am in much less judgment and more appreciation of others.
It’s like, which one comes first, the chicken or the egg…? I find it easier to appreciate others than to appreciate myself and I feel this comes down to the lack of love I have for myself. The more this love grows, the more appreciation I have for myself and who I am and then appreciation for everything and everyone else grows in that process too. It’s like the fairground mirror, the mirror behind the mirror behind the mirror, appreciation keeps deepening the more we do it.
I love that Angela Perin, and I’m sure it goes hand in hand, if we don’t appreciate ourselves, it’s very difficult to appreciate others too, so what’s first… is it another chicken or the egg question?
I would agree that it does come from us first Angela and from that deepening we get the lovely reflection of tender, loving and caring men all around us, whether we know them or not.
Super-true. It reminds me of the endless reflections you see when you place one mirror in front of you and another behind. They stretch to infinity!
Very true – love grows love and appreciation grows appreciation
Absolutely. One of the men I write this blog about read it and he said ‘snap’ right back to Me.
Indeed Johanna when we can let in the appreciation of others it is our own self-love and appreciation coming right back to us.
I love that you were able to share the blog with this man, how confirming for him and a further beautiful reflection for you.
This is true Marika, and I feel it works both ways as well, we need to appreciate it in ourselves to see it in others and those things that irk us in others is often within ourselves as well.
Undoubtedly so Joel, if I see something in another that irritates me I now know it may be a point of reflection, an opportunity to look at why I am annoyed or frustrated and is it showing me more about myself than I have cared to realise.
How amazing (and highly responsible) is to approach life with this awareness Stephen. Something certainly worth being added to the school curriculum and/or parenting education…
Yes this awareness is a game changer taking responsibility for how we feel. I often find that if I am frustrated with another, what I am frustrated at them for is the same thing I haven’t healed within myself. This then provides me with an opportunity to get to work on healing that within myself. This is the ultimate form of responsibility.
And to adult education! The degree to which we are all interrelated is remarkable: we are reflecting the good, the bad and ugly to each other all the time. We attempt to ‘deflect’ this understanding through externalising and blaming – very much an adult occupation too. I know you are saying Alexandra if we implement this understanding young we will change the way things are and one day this will be part of the school curriculum. Until that happens, thankfully we have the school of The Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine available to attend.
Yes, I know for myself that it is very humbling when this is realised.
This is so true Joel for how can we recognise something in another if we don’t know it from within?
Beautifully and simply expressed Abby, ‘how can we recognise something in another if we don’t know it from within?
Exactly Kehinde – it all can only work through reflection.
Yes Abby, this is so true and I can really understand how I see now so much more beauty in both men and women around me as I have started to fully see the beauty in myself.
Yes Joel, that can be a bit harder to swallow, but I found that to be true; the ones who show me, reflect to me, a behaviour I react to, is often something I do myself as well. Now, with this awareness I can choose to appreciate the other for being my mirror, for showing me what I need to look at, and appreciate myself for my willingness to be honest about this, saying ‘whoops’, that’s something I need to work on, lovingly.
Yes, very true Joel. We cannot escape reflections and when we embrace them, we grow enormously
Yes so very true Marika and Joel. When we are open to looking, observing and exploring what is being reflected to us we are open to learning, growing and deepening who we truly and naturally are.
Very true Joel. Through committing to looking at those things that irk us in others we can begin to develop understanding for other people. This in turn means that we are more readily able to embrace people, be real and unguarded with them and not judge because we are not reacting to that which they are showing us.
Ah yes, know that one well Joel. Developing appreciation of self makes one more accepting of and willing to deal with ones own irksome behaviours which naturally makes space for further appreciation of self which cannot help but flow out towards others.
Lovely expression Jeanette – and it is beautiful to see and feel when through our own appreciation for our selves, this emanates and spreads to those around us, so easily.
Yes Joel this is a great point to realise and it offers us a chance to heal something within ourselves, rather than keep it as an external irritation we feel towards another.
Yes, what irks us in others has to be in us – if not it would nothing have to respond on…. that’s an ouch. A good one that has to be appreciated : ). Every irk-situation is an offering to heal this inside hurt, which caused the reaction and to evolve from here.
And if we choose to see all that is there, even though this might confront us with the hurts that we are carrying with us, we will be able to finally look at their root causes and heal them.
Or Michael, if we do not commit to life and bring what we know is true, we attract what we put out. Then we get hurt by our own creation. It is much better to take the time to appreciate the little things and build what is true even if there is not so much to start with.
The perpetual mirror of life.
At times we choose to see only the reflection of our making through the lens of our perception, pictures and ideals yet we can count on a true reflection being shown to us from every angle of life regardless.
True Joel, what we see in others we have to equally have in ourselves, making them a great point of reflection.
Beautiful Marika…all of life is indeed a reflection of us in every way: from the microcosm of our lives – how we are and what is reflected back to us, to the macrocosm of humanity – how we are as a humanity and what is being reflected back to us all.
I agree Paula, all of life is indeed a reflection and sometimes the reflection can be exposing and even painful…. and then we have a choice to close our heart and not feel the pain, or to remain open, observe all there is to observe, without absorbing and then the magic happens as you begin to realise that you are fully equipped to deal with whatever is presented – and that the reflection is there to evolve you, to support you to allow more love.
Jacqmcfadden your words have touched me deeply – ‘magic happens as you begin to realise that you are fully equipped to deal with whatever is presented’.
Important point you make jacqmcfadden04 – “sometimes the reflection of life is exposing and even painful”, but if we are willing to accept the lesson and grow from it then we evolve, and the magic of God then confirms this.
Beautifully said Paula and jacqmcfadden04 as we can never truly escape the embrace of and the natural pull towards being and living the Love we all are. And all of the choices we make in surrendering to or resisting this Love are constantly reflected to us through our bodies, as an opportunity to develop and deepen our connection to the Love we are within, and are together.
I agree Carola, and love how you have expanded on it again. It just proves love has no limits – it deepens, it confirms, it exposes, its firm, it does not pander, and there is no sympathy, just a reflection of more there is to choose. Through each other we will rise together. We cannot do it alone because we are all one and the same, and the same as one.
‘ magic happens as you begin to realise that you are fully equipped to deal with whatever is presented – and that the reflection is there to evolve you, to support you to allow more love’. Thank you Jaqueline, there are times when something reflected back to me sends an ‘Ouch!’. Learning to stay with it and see what is being offered as a blessing, provides a foundation for me to be and give more love.
yes, I know that ‘ouch’ Kahinde. I’m learning to see these moments for what they are and appreciate the wisdom they bring rather than becoming lost in my reaction to them. Learning not to view event’s or situations as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ but simply as reflections has enabled me to observe and bring so much more understanding to myself and others.
Hello Marika and this is exactly what I also took from this blog, the power of appreciation. So often it feels like we go down another road and compare to each other. Appreciation is the way to go. On a side note I love the photo in this blog, the smile, colour and what it captures for me is exactly spot on for this blog and tells it’s own story.
I absolutely agree, Raymond. Appreciation is the way forward and without appreciation of ourselves we cannot appreciate another.
And the photo speaks volumes and tells it’s own story.
Absolutely agree, Raymond, appreciation if so awesomely powerful. First we need to appreciate ourselves, and take this then out to others around us. A great way to encourage and increase brotherhood within our communities and eventually the world. Once we appreciate what everyone else can bring, what a reflection this can give to others. And I agree with you about the photo at the top of the blog, I love it, it so fits this blog as an example of a man one would appreciate, the love for everyone just exudes the man in the photo.
Appreciation is the antidote to comparison, comparison being the poison and appreciation being the medicine of love.
Well put Jo – simple equation! I love this: appreciation is the medicine of love.
So beautifully said Jo- I love it.
Absolutely Amina and Ray. I too appreciate this blog very much and the natural tenderness of the man pictured is exquisite.
You are spot on Raymond. Appreciation is commonly overlooked and not honoured at all for what it can bring but I am realising the more we appreciate ourselves (and others) the more we can surrender and truly enjoy life in full.
I don’t ever remember being taught or talked to about appreciation as I grew up at home or in school. Appreciation was used in a way that we should appreciate what we have eg food when others are starving or was used in a way to be thankful about what another does for you. It was more about the doing in life and not the being and inner qualities another brings.
Now I know appreciation in its true meaning and how supportive it is in life – thanks to the teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, Michael Benhayon and Teachers are Gold.
I agree Raymond, this photo captures a man in joy. It is a moment to appreciate. I think it was said earlier. If it is not in you to appreciate, then it is only a choice to express what is naturally there. I remember when I started to express the love that I felt, it was a release and it felt good. How much do we hold this back from each other? What are we all missing out on?
So true Marika, and to add that by being able to appreciate ourselves enables us to actually appreciate those around us. This shows us the power we have to change our lives simply by changing the relationship we have with our self.
Yes Kathleen, with true appreciation we can heal so much. If we forget that, and always choose to focus on what is ‘not perfect’ in others or within ourselves (which is easy to do), life can be very hard, and we miss out on so many moments where we can be joyful and loving, instead of cranky and angry. The choice is ours, every day, every moment.
Yes that is exactly how it is Esther – every choice is ours to make, and the consequence of each choice is our own responsibility too.
Dear Esther I love what you share in your powerful comment because for me it feels simply true. It is this simplicity what is so inspiring instead of all the hard work and complication we are normally chose in our lives. It is so much more fun to chose this wonderful “appreciation-thing” than trying to be perfect.
Yes exactly Kathleen, l’m discovering that appreciation is something we can choose to allow, but very few of us actually do. And when we do, it is often a source of discomfort for others around… and hence our predilection to cut ourselves or be cut down because we are ‘getting too big for our boots’ or too ‘full of ourselves’. There is such a horror of standing out, or ‘showing another up’ that we avoid appreciation like it’s the plague.
This is a great comment Jenny.
I recall from very young, a message abounding from all directions to not love yourself or be full of yourself – it became commonplace to cut another down who was shining and bright and to undermine, ridicule and alienate another to the point of shrinking and silence.
When i consider this against the potential of Loving and supporting each other and deeply appreciating ourselves, such a situation could never take hold for we would each hold the other in the Love we are and appreciate the inspiration and reflection on offer.
So true Kathleen, appreciation for ourselves does change the relationship we have with self, to a deeper and more loving way of being. And this in turn enables us to appreciate others – which is also life changing for them as you can see the effect it has when one is able to receive appreciation, it lights up their whole being.
Love that Marika, seeing what we appreciate in others as qualities we also share and possess puts a whole new spin on things. it makes you stop and appreciate that every interaction and every moment is an opportunity to connect to yourself and others and that there is always a chance to bring more of you into life.
So true Marika, the more we appreciate ourselves the more we appreciate others. When we let go of the layers of protection love is there to be expressed in full. Love doesn’t know gender.
Yes Rachel “the more we appreciate ourselves the more we appreciate others”. One thing that came to me when I read this was we have to accept how uniquely divine precious we are. We are each one of a kind! That’s why it is really silly to compare. You do it in a way no one else does! That understanding for yourself can only be given to you by you which is another form of appreciation.
This is true Rik. It is so silly to compare. Recently I have noticed that my relationships and connections with others has generally deepened. When I appreciated this I also appreciated that it is because my level of stillness, quality and relationship with myself has deepened through my daily supportive choices.
The power of appreciation cannot be underestimated.
I agree. It is a key element to us just being all the love we are and our unity as a whole.
So true Marika.
The deeper we appreciate ourselves in every way the deeper the appreciation we have for others.
Absolutely, The detail and the perception is so beautifully felt. I would know reading this Johanna, that you too have these most beautiful qualities in you as well.
We definitely have to appreciate ourselves first before we can appreciate others. It is indeed amazing how everything is coming back to us although it seems it has to do with others. We just have to be open and reading what life is telling us all the time…
Well said Marika, I was feeling the same thing and reflecting on how much I appreciate others as my own appreciation of myself deepens.
A mirror is a perfect analogy. There is a lot that appreciation unfolds for us – what we see in others we see in ourselves and vice versa. Appreciation has also allowed me to undo beliefs and ideals that I have grown up with and just simply accepted or not even questioned. For example being around subliminal put downs towards men from others added to the way I treated men along with other things – however it was the appreciation, feeling it, seeing it that allowed me to realise that my perception and behaviour was not true and then let go of it because it no longer belonged.