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Everyday Livingness
Family, Relationships, Workplace 519 Comments on Carpentry – A Lesson on Energetic Quality from my 75 year old Dad

Carpentry – A Lesson on Energetic Quality from my 75 year old Dad

By Anonymous · On September 23, 2017 ·Photography by Joseph Barker

My Dad has always been a handyman, one of those guys who had no formal qualifications but was able to look at what needed fixing and before long, it was completed. His support was always offered when jobs needed to be done around the house, or when I was a child he would build toys and cubby houses from scratch for my siblings and me to enjoy.

I recently asked him for some support with a project that was being set up with the local park community. They were asking residents to help build a new nature playground and for volunteers to construct a small table and a sorting box for the play space amongst the bushes. I approached my Dad and asked if he was interested as he loved to work with wood, and his backyard was a permanent display of benches and picnic tables he had built over the years.

Over the next 3 days I had the privilege of working and standing in deep appreciation of this man and his relationship with wood and the craftsmanship of carpentry.

Day One: Preparation Stage

My Dad waited patiently for the materials to be dropped off at his home from the local hardware store. When I arrived he had already placed all of his working materials meticulously on the bench: an assortment of cutters and tools that he had used regularly and that he knew would support him to design and build these pieces. He checked that he had easy access to the area and that there was plenty of workspace for him to move around as he manipulated the materials.

I sat with my Dad and discussed the design, asking him for support and possible options in ways we would start the process. I noticed that as I worked there was this inbuilt urgency to get it up and running as my Dad continued to ponder on the measurements, sizing up and spending time feeling the wood and how it would react to the cutting processes.

I could feel a bit of agitation in my body. I was going into the ‘get it done’ mode and my Dad, in his clear and calm voice, repeated the words … “Just a minute.” Although I said nothing, I sat a bit annoyed with having to wait, not taking into consideration that my Dad was appreciating the moment and what was on offer for him to learn.

Our next stage was to begin measuring and marking the wood so that it could be cut into the correct sizes to be assembled. I went into auto pilot mode and started to measure at fast speed with a simple metal ruler. My Dad asked if I was checking the measurements from both sides, as he had noticed that the wood panels were slightly raised and that this fact could alter the accuracy. I wasn’t sure what he meant and replied, “…I think so.” Within minutes my Dad appeared with a tape measure and with a steady voice showed me the importance of taking your time and measuring both sides of the wood to achieve accuracy, as this was the difference, he said, between a balanced or lopsided table.

After stopping for a cuppa and a quick bite to eat, I presumed we would continue with the cutting and assembling process. My Dad replied… “That’s it for today. I need to sit and draw the measurements and we can start cutting tomorrow morning. This will give me time to check that all the blades are working and I have all the tools ready to go in the morning.” I stood a bit confused, slightly annoyed, as I had a plan in my head of having this finished within the day. I hesitated a bit and then agreed and headed home.

For the rest of the day this agitation stayed with me. I sat wondering why there was tension in my body and what was my investment in having to have these pieces completed quickly when there was no deadline. I knew that I had given the job to a person who would produce an incredible piece of woodwork for all who visited the park to enjoy, but the speed to complete the process was leaving me feeling uncomfortable.

The next morning I woke and read the following quote from a book by Serge Benhayon “If everything is energy, therefore, everything is BECAUSE of energy.” (Serge Benhayon, Esoteric Teachings & Revelations, p 220)

A big ouch moment was felt. I was driven by the energy of doing and my Dad stayed steady in the energy of being.

 I could feel how the doing was running my body whilst my Dad stayed consistent with himself and did what was needed on that day, nothing more and nothing less. Being with himself was paramount, as this was the quality of energy the work would be completed in.

 Day Two: Cutting Stage

I arrived early to begin the cutting stage. My Dad had already positioned all the wood panels on the large working bench and had his assortment of safety gear ready to go. I watched how he planned each move so that he was taking care of his body, whilst at the same time working with the heavy and loud machinery. He asked me to sand the pieces and encouraged me to wear a pair of safety glasses and gloves to avoid injury and any splinters.

I had noticed that on day two as I was coming to work on the project, I was starting to truly appreciate being with my Dad in the process. There was an ease in which the cutting stage was completed. Our communication was clear and each part of the process moved with clear precision and flow. The urgency that I felt the day before was gone, as I was now more aware of staying present with the moment, and stood back openly to hear my Dad’s suggestions on how to assemble the items we had worked together to build. We stopped again for a cuppa and a bite to eat and this time I noticed that I was not hungry and did not need to numb the feelings that I had the previous day. The agitation and push was not there and neither was the feeling to distract myself with food.

My Dad then mapped out the floor space in his work shed, placed all the pieces on the floor, like a large Lego construction site, and locked the shed door saying… “Tomorrow is the best part. That’s when it all comes together and you get to see your hard work.” It was humbling to hear my Dad appreciate and settle into the joy he would experience the next day. He was in no hurry to complete what he knew was a process that would be worth the wait.

Day Three: Assembling Stage

I unexpectedly arrived slightly later on the third day and thought my Dad would be up already assembling the play equipment. Surprisingly, he waited until I arrived and said… “Jobs like these are a two man job. You can’t beat the precision that comes from two people getting the job done.”

So together, like the foundation of the previous day, we assembled two amazing nature play pieces for our local park community with ease, precision and incredible accuracy.

I sat, extremely blessed to have shared in this moment with my Dad. I stopped to appreciate the incredible levels of patience and craftsmanship he had shown in moulding each piece of wood and the steady pace that he worked at to prevent errors, and how he honored himself in each step with rest and reflection.

My Dad was truly inspiring in his actions and was a great reflection that reminded me of the works of Serge Benhayon and the Ancient Wisdom, teaching us of the true power of working with an energetic quality that serves all.

The nature playground equipment now nestles amongst the trees in the local park that I pass each day. The way in which this was made – the care, dedication and precision of my Dad and his skills – is truly a blessing for each child that engages in its true purpose to play!

By Anonymous

Further Reading:
Washing my Car: a Lesson in Appreciation and Self-Care
‘The Joy of Ageing, Esoterically’
The fall of ‘quality’, the rise of a Quality

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Anonymous

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519 Comments

  • Chan Ly says: September 24, 2017 at 7:32 am

    Gorgeous blog, what a beautiful reflection and reminder to stay with the quality of being and not get caught up in achieving and getting things completed in a rush. This reveals how much we miss out and the tension we feel when we are rushing or have expectations. I love what you’ve shared, your father is absolutely inspiring.

    Reply
  • Victoria Picone says: September 24, 2017 at 7:07 am

    What a great lesson for us all, that nothing ever done in rush or push will leave a loving imprint. Every moment we have a choice to move in a quality that supports us all. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    • Christoph Schnelle says: September 24, 2017 at 3:13 pm

      Yes, learning that is a really big deal.

      Reply
    • Fiona Cochran says: September 25, 2017 at 4:54 am

      Yes and nothing done with a rush or a push feels either good or true from the body.

      Reply
  • Victoria Picone says: September 24, 2017 at 7:00 am

    Beautiful to feel the loving imprint you Dad brought to the playground, this attention to detail and the love will be felt and enjoyed by many children. The quality we bring does not have a time frame.

    Reply
  • Lyndy Summerhaze says: September 24, 2017 at 6:59 am

    What a divine blog. I love the way you describe your Dad’s attention to detail, and the love that went into the construction process of the art of building a table. It is the old dog teaching the young dog old tricks that are forever young!

    Reply
  • Melinda Knights says: September 24, 2017 at 6:55 am

    How lovely, just reading about your Dad slowed me down! I had to laugh at myself reading because I often have that sense of urgency or rush, but there is no true purpose to push and drive myself that way, and there is certainly no learning or savouring of the moment like your Dad does. There are so many awesome people in the world that we can learn from, thanks for sharing your Dad and his very special qualities.

    Reply
    • Doug Valentine says: September 24, 2017 at 3:53 pm

      There is no joy in rushing. When I make it about time there is a horrible unrelenting tension in my body, I still do it sometimes though. Slowing down and enjoying every moment is great advice.

      Reply
  • jennym says: September 24, 2017 at 6:51 am

    A forever practice to be in the energy of being rather than doing. Thank goodness we can be inspired by observing and feeling the difference in another.

    Reply
    • Fiona Cochran says: September 25, 2017 at 4:57 am

      A practice worth making as there is more flow in life when we remain with ourselves.

      Reply
  • Joseph Barker says: September 24, 2017 at 6:35 am

    So beautiful Anonymous. What your words remind me is that one of the greatest crafts in life is the ability to understand and appreciate what we all bring. We each have a different angle, a different flavour to share – to think that there is a right or a wrong way to be is so harming to us and stops us from realising what we all have to offer – it is so beautiful in its own right when it’s brought through with our light.

    Reply
    • Chan Ly says: September 25, 2017 at 10:25 am

      This is a beautiful example of what appreciation can offer. When we connect to it, any feelings of agitations, tension or conflict dissipates, and we get to see and experience the magic of appreciation unfold.

      Reply
  • Kim Weston says: September 24, 2017 at 6:32 am

    I love nothing more than watching one who has mastered a craft in true quality. The love, appreciation and beauty is felt and seen in the end product.

    Reply
    • Nicola Lessing says: September 26, 2017 at 6:40 pm

      Very true Kim and that is exactly how you are in your craft.

      Reply
  • Vanessa McHardy says: September 24, 2017 at 6:30 am

    This reminds me of my grandmother and how she would go about projects with a steady consistency. No rush just precision and care with a dedication to what was needed. I feel we have so much to learn from this generation.

    Reply
    • Andrew Mooney says: September 24, 2017 at 3:29 pm

      Yes there is much to learn from this – and imagine what the world would be like if everyone worked with this steadiness and consistency.

      Reply
  • Julie says: September 24, 2017 at 6:30 am

    This is such a beautiful piece about your father Anonymous, who most definitely knows how to work in a rhythm that supports him to a tee in what he does, and is in line with the rhythms of the Universe. Such a huge inspiration for us all so thank-you for sharing.

    Reply
  • Stephen says: September 24, 2017 at 6:08 am

    Very cool to read this, not being in drive to complete tasks is a big thing for me, and so to read of that energy of wanting to get things done, get them over with is very familiar to me. I am learning to not rush but focus on the quality of how each task is completed. I feel an anxiousness to get things over with, and I can see how this can be really detrimental to the outcome of the task, but also my own body. It is great to have that reflection of your Dad staying in the quality of energy that serves the plan, and how you embraced this over the course of the days spent working on this project.

    Reply
  • Sarah Flenley says: September 24, 2017 at 5:46 am

    I was moved to tears reading this today. And mixed one at that – lots of joy and some sadness. I can so relate to you, wanting to get things done and having set pictures about what it should look like and how long it should take. And the sadness was around how limiting that is, and how it does not allow the beauty and the grace that is there for us in each and every moment, of the lost opportunities.

    This line particularly struck me – “my Dad was appreciating the moment and what was on offer for him to learn” and I reflected on the frustration that can arise when I am learning something new. Oh and resentment. I found the line very inspirational.

    And tears of joy of the incredible steadiness and wisdom of your father and his respect for the process. and for you being open to the joy of that as well. Surrender is a beautiful thing.

    Reply
  • Liane Mandalis says: September 24, 2017 at 5:46 am

    A true master craftsman knows that the quality of the final piece is determined by the quality of each step taken in the process of the construction. Just like your Dad, we too can learn to move in this way with each moment building on the quality of the last so that when the day closes we are not left burnt out in an exhausted heap at the end, but stand fully restored by virtue of the movements we put in place that were made in connection with ourselves and whatever task may be at hand. We are the builders of our own reality creating the quality of the day through which we move.

    Reply
  • MW says: September 24, 2017 at 5:40 am

    I loved reading this, thank you for the sharing. You can feel the quality of craftsmanship (in carpentary and in life) that he brought to the situation and how needed this reflection is in the world today when we are all so busy rushing and racing.

    Reply
  • Susan Green says: September 24, 2017 at 5:38 am

    Lovely to read.. it reminded me of my dad as he loved wood and precision and was very patient in how we completed pieces. When we observe, we can be amazed by another’s quality and in that we can learn so much.

    Reply
  • rosanna bianchini says: September 24, 2017 at 5:34 am

    Reading this it becomes evident again, that we have moved into an age where this form of appreciation of a skill and craft is overridden by the need for things to be done quickly or happen fast. If your dad is anything to go by, that generation were clearly hard working, skilled and knew how to bring a quality and focus to the job at hand – without the distractions of 100 other things going on at the same time. Lovely to read about this process, – no drive or need to impress, yet it was fully appreciated.

    Reply
  • Willem Plandsoen says: September 24, 2017 at 5:30 am

    Your dad obviously felt into the rhythm that was needed to complete the playground equipment, in a true way. Never going into the doing, just do from the being.

    Reply
  • Vicky Cooke says: September 24, 2017 at 5:13 am

    Genuinely thank you so much for sharing this it is deeply touching to feel the connection between you and your dad and how you worked together. Your dad sounds like a very beautifull man. Our elders can teach us so much, especially patience! One of my ‘things’ has always been I would love to be able to make things with wood and would love to be taught by someone like your dad so I truly enjoyed reading this blog.

    Reply
  • Lucy Dahill says: September 24, 2017 at 4:54 am

    What a gift we have all been given by this process of building something for your local community. The patience, the energetic quality, the connection, the sense of purpose that did not need to be hurried. Very transferable lessons and skills.

    Reply
    • Anna says: October 20, 2017 at 6:24 am

      Yes agree Lucy, imagine if we bought this level of detail, true purpose and quality to everything we do in life – this blog has offered us a beautiful reflection that has inspired me in many ways.

      Reply
  • Rik Connors says: September 24, 2017 at 4:52 am

    I’m always enthused and inspired to read stories of absolute joy being expressed through a natural expression of someone’s care and precision in what they do. It’s a celebration and cherishing of life.

    Reply
  • Bryony says: September 24, 2017 at 4:39 am

    That steadiness and commitment to staying with the process and not rushing is felt by all as it stands out from the normal rush of life, and is very inspiring. Quality first.

    Reply
  • Ariana Ray says: September 24, 2017 at 4:28 am

    ‘The true power of working with an energetic quality that serves all.’And it is true power that is accompanied by the love that such power emanates from.

    Reply
  • Julie Matson says: September 24, 2017 at 4:24 am

    Love this blog, and it is a great example that we still have a lot to learn from our elders if we take the time to stop and listen, and observe.

    Reply
  • HM says: September 24, 2017 at 4:09 am

    That is so gorgeous to read and there is a lesson beyond carpentry here. Everything about the way your dad worked was in the moment, not rushing or pushing, and doing things in quality first. How awesome and rare to read how the simple things can be done so simply. We are in an age of getting everything done yesterday, but we miss out on the relationships and quality that comes with allowing the space.

    Reply
    • Suse says: November 2, 2017 at 5:22 am

      So true HM, for when we allow impatience to creep in the subsequent rush will always compromise the quality of whatever it is we are doing.

      Reply
  • Heather Pope says: September 24, 2017 at 3:49 am

    Speed does not necessarily equal quality, and nor is it an indicator of efficiency. Presence of being is all that is needed.

    Reply
    • Johanna Smith says: September 27, 2017 at 7:12 am

      And is everything. The rest just naturally and supportively follows from here.

      Reply
  • Annelies van Haastrecht says: September 24, 2017 at 1:14 am

    ‘He was in no hurry to complete what he knew was a process that would be worth the wait.’ Why hurry when you appreciate every step in the process and just know the completion will be the confirmation of all the work that has been done with care and love.

    Reply
    • Johanna Smith says: September 27, 2017 at 7:11 am

      To Love the process not only the result. This is beautiful and reminds me of how important it is for us to enjoy the in betweens in life and savour the flavour of us and our movements in the present moment.

      Reply
    • Rebecca says: November 11, 2017 at 11:12 pm

      I agree Annelies, we are always so focused on the outcome that we dont see the growth we can gain from the process

      Reply
  • Aimee Jane Edmonds says: September 24, 2017 at 1:06 am

    This nearly brought me to tears, every stage, every moment, every step was steeped in the utmost consideration, care and joy in direct reflection of what the pieces were going to be used for. How amazing for anyone playing in that park to feel and enjoy. Thank you for sharing this masterpiece with everyone.

    Reply
    • David says: October 1, 2017 at 7:25 pm

      Aimee the same for me, to feel the tenderness of a man working in connection with the flow of the universe and with people.

      Reply
  • Joshua Campbell says: September 23, 2017 at 11:40 pm

    I have so much joy reading this blog. Man what a beautiful relationship you and your dad share and what an inspiration he is in the way he works. Our education system does not offer credit enough to the importance of such small detail and quality of energy.

    Reply
    • Karina Kaiser says: September 30, 2017 at 4:46 pm

      That is so true, as long as it ‘gets done’, no one asks about the quality in which it was done, and sadly we see this in many aspects in our lives and surroundings …

      Reply
  • John O Connell says: September 23, 2017 at 11:03 pm

    This was a lovely read thank you. A job worth doing is a job worth doing well .

    Reply
    • Karina Kaiser says: September 30, 2017 at 4:44 pm

      Love this – it so is, and as most jobs are worth doing either in service or something else, then most jobs (if not all) are worth doing well as all others will feel exactly how that job was done through energetic imprint.

      Reply
  • Lucy Duffy says: September 23, 2017 at 9:11 pm

    This is such a beautiful lesson for all. It’s all too easy to want to push on through to the ‘fun’ bit but if this is not done in consideration of the body, there really will be no fun or joy in it – just push and drive. There’s a wonderful completeness and honouring to the process described here. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  • Carmel Reid says: September 23, 2017 at 9:02 pm

    Beautiful – to appreciate the power of being and letting go of the drive and push so many of us live by.

    Reply
    • Johanna Smith says: October 1, 2017 at 3:16 pm

      Gorgeous to be open to the lessons of others around us.

      Reply
  • Matts Josefsson says: September 23, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    I put my hands together for your dad. Sounds like a true master at play.

    Reply
    • Johanna Smith says: October 1, 2017 at 3:15 pm

      How wonderful would it be if we really saw and acknowledged the mastership that we each bring to others and through our chosen area. The world would be a different place.

      Reply
  • Jennifer Smith says: September 23, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    Quality work is a little bit of experience, but a whole lot of quality energy. So a rush job is still a rush job no matter the skill of the person rushing and without doubt it takes longer because you have to go back and fix the bits that were rushed.

    Reply
    • Alexis Stewart says: September 28, 2017 at 11:34 pm

      Jennifer when I read your comment I had the image of seamstresses frantically running up dresses and then pondered on the energetic quality of clothes that have been rushed and poorly finished.

      Reply
    • Karina Kaiser says: September 30, 2017 at 4:42 pm

      Well put – exactly – a rush job most likely will end up with untidy parts and flaws that, if not fixed in the moment and with diligence, will for sure show up later exposing then the energy in which the job was done. Being connected and working in that connection is a true and loving imprint that all can feel when they get in touch with the finished job.

      Reply
  • Mary-Louise Myers says: September 23, 2017 at 7:55 pm

    This is a great example of a man who is totally connected to his soul when it comes to building stuff…love your blog anon. very inspirational.

    Reply
    • Aimee Jane Edmonds says: September 24, 2017 at 2:11 am

      I agree and I’m inspired to stop and appreciate the steps and moments it takes to complete anything in my day. I love the wisdom from elders and the learning in this gorgeously written blog.

      Reply
    • Johanna Smith says: September 27, 2017 at 7:09 am

      And just shows how each of us bring this detail to very different things in life. Someone may connect more with cooking, or building, or cleaning, or gardening. I love how there are so many activities and expressions for us to connect to on earth that ultimately support is to bring our love and care to from our soul – even perhaps if we have not yet mastered bringing that to all areas of our lives. What an amazing support.

      Reply
  • Rosie says: September 23, 2017 at 7:20 pm

    Love it, it has made me think of my dad and how amazing he has been at building, fixing and making things work!

    Reply
    • Johanna Smith says: October 1, 2017 at 3:14 pm

      Often we are brought up to be in gratitude or to appreciate the things people build or do for us, but how often do we actually get supported to appreciate the quality of those around us, who love us, for the work that they do for us. A game changer really.

      Reply
  • Leigh Strack says: September 23, 2017 at 7:07 pm

    Such a sharing brings to me the absolute importance of having our elders as active participants in our communities. The wisdom, and patience that many deliver their knowledge with is a true gift to all of us.

    Reply
    • Lucy Duffy says: September 23, 2017 at 9:14 pm

      I couldn’t agree more Leigh. I feel that the general lack of valuing of the elders in our society is a sobering and exposing reflection of how little the majority of us value ourselves.

      Reply
    • Karina Kaiser says: September 30, 2017 at 4:39 pm

      Yes so true, and this blog is so inspiring in that it shows us that all we need to do is approach our elders with projects that they can get involved in, bringing their steadfastness and wisdom to us all.

      Reply
  • Gill Randall says: September 23, 2017 at 7:06 pm

    It feels like you had a wonderful reflection from your dad who lives his life being in each moment so that everything he does, he does from that foundation. Maybe without knowing it, his elder energy shone through to show you how you too can be and lovely you have shared it for us all. Thank you dad.

    Reply
    • Johanna Smith says: September 27, 2017 at 7:06 am

      It’s a very beautiful sharing, I agree Gill. Our elders are so valuable in our communities and have a lot of care and practicality and simplicity to offer us.

      Reply
    • Stefanie Henn says: October 9, 2017 at 5:42 am

      If the elderly accept and embrace the beauty that is within them and don´t see themselves as less than any younger generation, they are such a gift for this world. Like a rock- solid and trustworthy and an inspiration for everybody to focus on what is truly important in life.

      Reply
  • Michelle McWaters says: September 23, 2017 at 6:37 pm

    I so enjoyed reading about your Dad. He feels incredibly wise. Working with his hands as he does, his innate love, joy and appreciation for working with wood coupled with his intrinsic self-worth and unflappability has a lot to teach us all. What an inspiring man!

    Reply
    • Chan Ly says: September 24, 2017 at 7:38 am

      I agree Michelle, he is very inspiring. I can feel the love, joy and care in every part of the design and construction process and so will the children who gets to use it. What a blessing this is for the community and for everyone who walks past this piece of artwork that was build from love.

      Reply
    • Rebecca says: September 27, 2017 at 8:52 pm

      I agree Michelle – there is something beautiful in seeing someone work their craft, whatever it is – the thing that they bring their all too and in doing so bring out all their qualities. If we could learn to apply the same qualities and commitment to every area and not just the one, life truly would be amazing.

      Reply
    • Karina Kaiser says: September 30, 2017 at 4:38 pm

      Yes I am so with you here Michelle, and I love this word ‘unflappability’ – it describes it very well.

      Reply
    • Johanna Smith says: October 1, 2017 at 3:12 pm

      I love watching and seeing tradespeople or those who work with their hands do their thing when they are people who work with integrity. There is so much to appreciate and learn.

      Reply
  • Rachel Murtagh says: September 23, 2017 at 6:21 pm

    What a gorgeous blog of appreciation! It just shows that we have a natural and intrinsic ability to be steady, calm and to not rush. It’s not something that needs to be taught but is within us. Your Dad is an amazing example of that.

    Reply
    • Johanna Smith says: October 1, 2017 at 3:11 pm

      And this allows us to appreciate the different flavours those around us, be it friends, family or work colleagues are there to offer us. It’s gorgeous that anonymous allowed the appreciation of this rather than overriding the beauty his/her dad was presenting.

      Reply
    • Michelle McWaters says: October 14, 2017 at 9:49 pm

      Yes – agreed. We can all recognise and celebrate the qualities your Dad is offering, which just goes to show how innate they are in all of us. There is something really special for me about that wise and knowing elder energy that can be naturally in tune with cycles and rhythms in nature – no rush just an alignment to the flow of things and how to make this work for you. A true sage!

      Reply
  • Ingrid Ward says: September 23, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    This is so beautiful to read and at one stage I could feel some joy-filled tears rising at the valuable lesson your father was offering you. And how equally wonderful that you were finally able to take that lesson with an open heart and to connect with him in the joy he had as he progressed through the stages leading to the completion of this project. It was certainly a true example of the Ancient Wisdom in action.

    Reply
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