Recently I did the unthinkable – I put myself, my husband and my two sons on a technology detox! As I packed every device away, I literally had a lump in my throat and felt uneasy about what was to come. It had been building to this point for about two months – after our move to another country. If we felt lonely or had feelings come up that were uncomfortable to feel – like missing family and friends – we resorted to filling ourselves up with Internet, social media, TV, movies and gaming devices. I had found myself going to my iPhone several times in just an hour. The need to connect with people was strong.
I realised that when I was tired, stressed or lonely, I would go and turn the telly on….. ahh, relief…. I could lose myself in a program or movie. Even though I personally didn’t watch much TV, I felt the most desperate when I made the choice to take away the remotes.
Before and After Our Technology Detox
After the initial shock for my sons aged 10 and 11 (which lasted all of 5 minutes), they understood that it was something for us all to experience – what life was like without the distractions of technology. Before the detox, even with time limits they would check out on gaming devices, lack focus, be disorganised and have a fogginess. Once they accepted the fact of the detox, they immediately looked around their rooms and found things they used to play with. They played marbles outside, kicked a soccer ball, played with lego, went to the park and did experiments.
The first morning after beginning our technology detox, I woke up with a smile on my face – I felt an instant freeing feeling. Everyone felt amazing and so did the house – sounds too good to be true? Well it truly was just like that: everyone still had issues with the decision, especially the boys, but it was like this weight had been lifted off us all. Usually I would wake up and reach for my phone beside me to check something, even if it was just the weather! One son would get up and turn on a TV program and the other would join him or play on his iPod. I realised we were all literally hooked into technology in different ways.
How do you know what you are like with something if you don’t have the time without it to feel and see the difference?
We were able to see each other for who we truly are without all the distractions of TV, phones, gaming devices, etc, and hiding behind them.
The boys completed their homework with no pushing, were super organised in their rooms and ready for their day at school. What was very clear to see and feel also was that the fogginess that is usually there was completely gone – our eyes sparkled! We were all left to feel what our bodies wanted to do.
We cooked together and ate as a family, talked about our days and shared our feelings. We went to sleep earlier than usual as we were free to feel how tired we were instead of getting drawn into a TV program at night and going past that time when you really feel to put yourself to bed. During the day I noticed that without the distractions it was easier for me to have a rest and lie down whenever I felt tired.
Nothing was too much trouble or too hard to do. We really noticed how much time we had previously wasted focussing on things that didn’t have a heartbeat; our lack of connection to family and society became more apparent. Now if I feel to connect with someone I call them and say ‘hi’.
Since finishing our technology detox, old habits of getting lost in some form of technology still creep in, but with this detox experience allowing us to feel the effect on our bodies of the overuse of technology, we can definitely see and feel the difference and arrest it a lot sooner.
Technology OVERLOAD – Bringing Back Connection
Technology overload and saturation is so prevalent in society, especially with children and teenagers. Our sons say that video console games are all the boys talk about at school and if you don’t have the latest inappropriate violent game, you’re left out of the loop. Girls are excluded if they’re not on social media taking photos of themselves. This is in grades 4 and 6!!
What are we saying to others when we are always looking at our phones or computer screens? It can’t be that we are so important that we don’t have time to talk to others. As a result of our technology detox, our family was able to share how it feels when each of us ignores ourselves and each other when we are checked out with technology. I looked around and observed technology overload almost everywhere – friends, family, work colleagues and people out at shopping centres – nobody truly being with each other as they are looking at their phones instead.
Since this experience I have no desire or need to connect to others from behind a screen – or to check my emails continually. All I can say is:
The feeling of freedom to feel and think of what is needed next is so clear since my technology detox.
Technology is all around us and we use it every day, but perhaps we need to consider whether we are using it to support our lives or whether we are trying to get technology to give to us what we will not give to ourselves…
I feel it’s worth taking the time to consider and appreciate that we can still stay connected with ourselves and with each other whilst living in a world of technology.
By Aimee Edmonds, Vancouver
Further Reading:
Does Technology Simplify our Lives?
What’s right with this world?
Anti-Social Behaviour
1,003 Comments
This is such a beautiful blog, and such an important topic, I know I am still quite technology dependent sometimes even obsessive when I don’t want to feel what is going on. I can feel what a freedom it can give to just stop and take time do something else then using a computer or a phone to look for connection, while there are so many people out there waiting to be connected to, I felt this lately when I decided in a weekend, which is usually filled with doing stuff on the computer, to go out and walk around a city and enjoy true connection with people. It is freeing me from the need for technology getting to know the world outside my room and connect.
Great point Benkt, everyone is wanting to connect or be connected with, its such a natural part of us. There are so many things we can use as a distraction to not feel what is going on for ourselves and/or around us and technology being so prevalent everywhere is such an easy one to choose to checkout from life and our everyday with. I also am seeing how much I use my phone or my computer to take the edge off what I am feeling or as a little treat, no different to having a sweet. Yesterday, I accidentally (or quite deliberately really) left my phone at home so I was acutely aware of how I felt without it. I rang the schools to give them my direct work line so I knew if I was needed that was covered but what was really interesting was how I stayed with what I was doing with much more of a commitment then when I have my phone there to check on in my breaks.
I am 37 and have never owned a TV some people have felt this very strange but I knew quite early on that watching television made me feel like I was wasting time. I also felt the after effects of movies and did not want to feel like this so I hardy ever watch a film. I am not against television or films I just know mentally, physically and emotionally I am better of then filling my brain and body with unneeded unnecessary stuff!
I can observe in relationship with others that at times we use the computer not to connect with another, keeping ourselves busy and yes of course there is always plenty of thing to do on the computer.
Today I suggested not to use the computer or phones for half a day from midday onwards. It was agreed upon and i look forwards it!
If I went for a week without technology I would need another week off to deal with an overflowing inbox! It has become such a part of my life I actually couldn’t imagine life without it. Without my phone for example, there goes the maps to get from A to B when I don’t know where I am going, contact details of people and places, my diary, my tickets if I am traveling, and even a torch if I am in the dark – and that is just the start. Now imagine carrying all that around when I can just have 1 phone for so much. Technology is an incredible tool that we now have at our fingertips 24/7 but if we don’t learn how to use it wisely, it uses us.
Well said Vicky, “Technology is an incredible tool that we now have at our fingertips 24/7 but if we don’t learn how to use it wisely, it uses us.” There is so many useful tools, and I personally find having a cell phone so hugely supportive not only for all the things you’ve listed Vicky (love maps!) but also in being responsible and an honouring of me, so that if I need help from anyone or anything I have access to that or if my children do they can get me. What I have been finding though, with some of the not so urgent things like emails or social media, I’ve been giving them more attention than is really needed.
Aimee this is such a great blog what an amazing transformation for the whole family, I totally agree with you when we are not distracted by the likes of Tv and emails constantly the ability to connect and just be with people is awesome, we are reclaiming a purpose, our purpose which is as you say so freeing.
Aimee what an amazing experience you and your children had whilst going on a technology detox.
It great to acknowledge that technology itself is not the problem but how we choose to use it is- as a distraction, to checkout, to avoid feeling our inner hurts and body, to avoid or as an alternative to intimacy etc.
So true Loretta, it is how we choose to use anything, to either support us to be who we are or taking us further away from ourselves. I find food and technology the biggest draw cards of distraction at times. I was talking with a lady today, who has never had a computer at home and has been without a cell phone for years, and she was realising how much of a wonderful tool technology can be when it is used in a true and honest way. It made me appreciate all the amazing things we can be apart of, that use the medium of technology.
Aimee I love the concept you implemented of a technology detox, I can’t imagine that was an easy idea to sell to your family but clearly the benefits were worth it. It is extraordinary how so much of our lives can be controlled by technology and more so how lost we can be with it, so it is an idea that I feel nearly everyone should try to reap the benefit of having a marker of life without it. From then knowing the difference in yourself without it, being able to arrest excessive use, escaping, avoiding life or when you lose yourself sooner is absolutely paramount.
I made a lifetime career out of watching TV, being on the computer and reaching for the phone in any instant, all of which were about not feeling what was there. Limiting all of these devices has made such a difference, being more of who I am, allowing the magic of God to support me to go deeper and be all of who I am, an ongoing practice which has already changed my life in ways I never knew were possible.
I read your blog for the first time when it was first published Aimee, but didn’t leave a comment – not that I didn’t have anything to say, but that there were parts of it that were too exposing for me at the time. I can very much relate to technology filling up the emptiness inside of us – I have used TV for that ever since I can remember. For me it has been a way to destress from the world around me, however that’s not what happens. TV does not destress or relax anyone, it numbs us and provides us with a false feeling of having connected with others – and sadly, there are many who use TV as a substitute for real relationships. For me, if I am honest, it is no different to the several glasses of wine I used to have when I got home from work which took the edge of the intensity of the day. I haven’t drunk alcohol for many years now, but my addiction has merely shifted so now my drug of choice is TV. It’s self-medicating in a socially acceptable way. But in reality all that is being exposed here is that I struggle to be by myself. TV is an entertaining distraction from the uneasiness I feel when I am alone. I recognised this a long time ago and even got rid of my TV, but with the advent of online TV the habit has crept back in. I completely recognise that when I am feeling full of myself, I have no need or desire to watch anything, thus showing it is not the TV that’s the problem per se, it’s actually about making a commitment to consistently build a more loving relationship with myself that will bring about changes in behaviour. I feel a technology detox is part of this relationship building Aimee and I feel one coming on in our house too!
Wow Lucy this is gold and a blog in its own right! There is so much here that you have exposed… taking the edge off of life and numbing just like any other substance is huge, because most the time technology runs under the radar as a possible addiction or a ‘drug of choice’. It’s often seen just as entertainment and is as you say, “It’s self-medicating in a socially acceptable way.” I’ve said this many times and is so common to hear, ‘I’m just going to chill and watch TV or a movie’… but at no time would I feel what my body really needed, which would be most the time going to bed and resting deeply. I’ve used TV more to ‘chill-out’ from the incessant thoughts and mental activity… which in itself simply shows that it is used to numb and perceived to be having time out from thinking and feeling.
Amiee, reading where you shared ‘I had found myself going to my iPhone several times in just an hour. The need to connect with people was strong.’ I will do this several times an hour as well as first thing in the morning and last thing at night being on my iPad! This is great because even though I was aware of this reading your blog has made me consciously see how I need to change this habit.
What a great plan Aimee a family technology detox. I love the way you said, that we spend far too much time “focussing on things that didn’t have a heartbeat”. I have a detox day coming up, spending the day with my partner, no phones, emails, computers, just us two, being together. It’ll be interesting the observations this throws up, and that in itself says a lot; that we can avoid connection and intimacy on a daily basis and turn to technology as one of the ways to not feel that this in fact is what we are doing.
This is the second time that I have read your blog Aimee and I have just been on a TV binge. Checking out from myself completely and full escape from the world. It has left me feeling very lazy and unmotivated. The energy that comes through most TV programs I have found to be very toxic and hooking. TV is quite the health Hazzard!!
I have often found that the TV can take a higher priority within a relationship and can become the centre of attention. When I used to visit my parents, quite often I felt as though I was in the way, because they were so engrossed in their TV shows. Then as I grew older I found that I had become addicted to watching the television also, but when people came to visit I would always turn the TV off.
I have found this also Julie, visiting family or friends that have the TV on constantly, feels very distracting to me and I don’t feel that we are even hearing what each other are saying or registering what is really going on. I’m realising that with using any form of entertainment requires a big dose of honesty – do I just want to zone out now? Am I tired? Am I bored? Do I not want to connect with the person in front of me or myself?
I really feel that TV watching can be an addiction just like any other. It takes precedence over everything as you say, and like an addict of any drug, there can be lying and manipulation to get what you want and secretive, isolating and self-destructive behaviours associated with it. The phenomenon of binge-watching (watching back to back episodes of TV series for hours and hours) is well-known and yet not something that is taken terribly seriously.
Wow, it’s amazing how even the thought of having a technology detox has got me all twitchy! I know it has to be done but there’s a part of me that is terrified at the thought. Makes me even more sure that it’s the right thing to do 😉 I’ll let you know how it goes. Thank you for the inspiration and the nudge Aimee.
Totally Lucy, shows an addiction just like coming off sugar or smoking no different. How did the detox go?
When on TV or on a computer, we can easily get sucked in if we use them to check out from our daily life. It is important to stay focussed with the purpose we are connected to these devices, I try to take breaks and go for a walk during the sessions.
Thank you for the sharing Aimee. It reminds me of when I started having esoteric sessions just over a year ago. I was going through a particularly stressful time and so the practitioner suggested that I tried cutting out TV watching for a couple of weeks just to see how it felt, like an experment. So that’s what I did. Before then I probably watched from 1-3 hours a day depending on how I felt. But a typical day back then didn’t feel compete to me unless I had watched at least an hour. If I was tired, which back then I was most of the time, I’d happiliy plonk myself in front of the telly and get engrosed in whatever series I was into. It didn’t take long for me to realise that I felt much better without so much TV in my life. I really was addicted to it. When I was a kid I remember that tv watching was what me and brother did all evening, from getting home from school to going to bed. Major checking out!! I do still watch tv from time to time, but I usually can’t take more than 30 mins and I’m very selective of what I watch. The thought of watching 3 hours straight would be impossible now.
Watching hours of TV used to be such a normal thing to do, now I can’t think of anything worse then wasting 3 hours in front of a TV zoning out, getting stimulated and drawn into a story. That’s the beauty of having time away from something.
Aimee, re-reading your blog gives me new insights from where I can be even more aware of my daily choices.
I love the sentence: ‘The feeling of freedom to feel and think of what is needed next is so clear since my technology detox.’ I experienced it again after being half a day on the beach not knowing first if I should bring my phone or not. Just making that simple choice to leave my phone in the car is so clearly showing again how much I am used to check my emails and messages. By having that afternoon without my digital instrument I am back to a more true way to relate to the digital instruments when coming home.
There was a time when a child was being punished they were sent to their rooms…now days they are stripped of there phone and electronic devices and made to go outside into the fresh air.
Inspiring reading. Checking out with TV and social media is both insidious and incarcerating. Taking a technology detox is a really great way of breaking free of that fog … I love that you expressed that you were fine with everything but the TV remotes. We all have our favourite comfort zones and its empowering to see what they are!
I love that I’m learning about technology overload on my computer!!!
Brilliant Aimee. I have just done a similar thing with my daughter and myself. I noticed that she was using screen time as a massive distraction away from what she was feeling. It was an addiction, along with stimulating foods and even being with other kids and no matter how much or how little I gave her, she would want more.
So I said ‘we’re having a break’, and l let the flood of feelings ensue. Almost instantly, I noticed the kind of changes you saw: she took more responsibility for her things and contributing to the household, pulled out toys that she had forgotten about and spent time on activities without nagging for the next thing. Basically, I got my daughter back! She is expressing how she feels more and much more settled in herself.
And for me, I don’t watch TV or movies; I use my laptop to work but am pretty clear about that. It was my smartphone that was intruding: I decided that it was not important to check my phone all the time to remove the icons! It was interrupting my day and taking way too much time, delaying what I needed to be getting on with. Now I just check it for messages a few times a day and it feels liberating.
I am the one who loves living without technology and all the benefits you have listed that happen when we put all those distractions away and I am the one who falls into using them faster than anyone. It’s that silly. I love what I get done and the way I have more time when I discard technology. I will be the one who decides how the technology will be used not the pull of the devices making the decision. I feel a detox coming on.
When I read the line about the relief of sitting in front of the TV when you’re exhausted, I was able to connect to that immediately. How many times do I override my exhaustion with further stimulation whether it be through TV, my phone, ipad or another big one – food. It’s unbelievable the things I choose to simply avoid feeling where my body is at. These days I’m practicing catching myself out, and giving myself an option to either choose distraction or choose to acknowledge my tiredness and from there I give myself an opportunity to make a more loving choice
Ah yes Monica, I love the feeling of being on my computer or technology for a purpose and even if there is still more to do, honouring when enough is enough and going on to something else. It feels so simple when I use technology like this… but when I put technology in the drivers seat I feel controlled by it and then overwhelm comes in.
I have often found how much I use technology when I am tired, stressed and needing a distraction from what is truly going on. The reality is the stimulation away from what I was feeling bolsters me against the truth and this is where it becomes harmful. As I step away from what I feel I start to lose my connection with me and then seemingly ‘connect’ with others through social media, phones and computers. What a false this is. The connection we have with ourselves is the vital ingredient here and one that we all need to nourish and nurture.
Lee this is beautiful and a comment that would have been great to read last night – “The connection we have with ourselves is the vital ingredient here and one that we all need to nourish and nurture.” I felt shattered last night taking on and reacting to abuse around me and felt to connect with someone, instead that connection was with social media. It was very clear and interesting because I have not really been on social media for weeks but it was something I was drawn to when feeling hurt, tired or overwhelmed. Using social media in this case can give a falseness of being comforted by something outside of ourselves.
I know exactly what you mean Aimee and it’s a pale and lifeless imitation for picking up the phone and speaking to someone if we feel we need to connect with another. But as Lee says, “The connection we have with ourselves is the vital ingredient here and one that we all need to nourish and nurture.” and this will then become so precious to us that to throw it away over watching TV etc. will become inconceivable.
Speaking from experience of allowing my two daughters to play computer games and form friendships with people who are also pretending to be someone or something else, in fact does them no favours whatsoever and from what I understand now, it only assists in keeping them locked away from people and real life situations. It is one thing to deal with situations within a computer game, within the safety of your own home, but a totally different thing to dealing with real life and people face to face.
Absolutely Julie, my sons are shocked when they ask if they can open a social media account to contact their friends and I say just go and call them. It is so very rare now for children and teenagers to call each other and speak. Texting is now referred to as talking. I also can over use texting in some situations. Really how much is said or not said in texts that is not actually needed?
I find texting so limiting – sure its useful for basic information, but conversation … erghh!
Often my reply to texts that I receive is “call me”.
I love that Helen – yes I find texting limiting to what I want to say as well. There is so much more to say. Giving myself permission to say all that needs to be said and to not hide behind texting.
Aimee I love how you shared that you spent so much time on something “that didn’t have a heart beat”. This is so common in todays world. The urge to check out with items that stop real connections is so prevalent. Your blog is a great reminder of the absolute joy and simplicity of connecting with another.
‘….it’s like a drip we continually carry with us…’ Soon true. Smartphone=numbing.
Even the leader journalist of our local newspaper wrote an editorial about the technological shields that we all hide behind… We are aware of this, but we really do need to take this into account more and more, as technology becomes more and more pervasive… Luckily our iPhones can’t mate yet ??
Yes Chris, deep down we all know why and what we are using technology for. With more people being honest and openly speaking up, this gives others an opportunity to also question their motives.
I was thinking the same thing Chris. There is great awareness and concern within society that we are using technology to separate ourselves from each other. How amazing would it be if we collectively started using technology as the amazing support it can be instead of letting it rule our lives. It’s like the body isn’t it – when we let our heads (technology) call the shots we get into all sorts of trouble but when we let our hearts lead the way our heads become filled with true purpose.
Bravo Aimee, you got your family back. The distractions of technology are no substitute for the true connection we are all craving. It sounds like there was an addiction to have to go through withdrawals, but once you got through that and participated in life you enjoyed it more. I was interested to read you all had clearer thoughts and the spark back in your eyes.
Thank you Bernard. Yes technology or anything really is no substitute for true connection. There is a plethora of distractions to entice us to travel away from true connection but if we are honest the pull back to connecting with others is something we all want. Yes this part about clearer thoughts and seeing a spark back in our eyes is such a great foundation now, and stands out huge when that changes.
What I realized the other day – how easily I can use technology (social media, computer,…) to not spend time with other people – like “I don’t have time for you, because I still have to do some computer work.” Sure – computer work is important, but the balance must be right between spending time with people and spending time in front of the computer.
I agree Alexander. We need to use computers these days, but it seems it has become a substitute for really connecting with people. It’s a ‘safe’ place to hide behind a screen, where we are in control.
Re-reading your post Aimee your pondering here: “….but perhaps we need to consider whether we are using it to support our lives or whether we are trying to get technology to give to us what we will not give to ourselves” – i find is applicable to every aspect of life and not just technology focused – essentially ‘it’ applies for anything that we have a relationship with, be that an activity, gadget, person, or even dating and love.
Absolutely Zofia this can apply to anywhere in our lives. It has been a humbling experience for me when I check in with myself to feel wether I’m using something or someone to fill me up or give something to me.
Hi Sue, I once watched a group of tourists at the beach at Southport get out of their car looking into their telephone screens taking pictures without once looking around them to see what it looked like through their eyes as if their telephone was an external extension of their brain. As if the scene around them had no more value than the two dimensional view on their screen. We will reach the point one day where our screen is our reality.
This is a great article, Aimee, and lovely to read again. Having come from a generation when in my early childhood there was no TV, let alone all the other technology, I find it amazing if I stop and acknowledge the vast changes how easily and seemlessly it seems that society has slipped into accepting the changes. However, I can also see and from the experience of my own absorption of the changes how easily the technology takes us away from ourselves. I feel it is very brave to have taken on the challenge and apparently with so little stress. Very inspiring.
Also it poses the question that if the technology takes us away from ourselves is this really evolution that is so loudly claimed by technology’s creators and consumers?
Personally I find technology super useful. I don’t think technology takes me away from myself – that is always down to me. Technology does indeed offer the perfect excuse / escape but I am entirely the master of how I use it.
The greatest trap is in the fact that access to everything is in the palm of our hands 24/7. This is something I see my teenage children struggling with frequently. I am a firm believer that this is the surest way for us to find our inner-strength though – a bit like living next door to a pastry shop!
In a world where TV screens get larger and computer screens are small enough to fit on our wrists our obsession with computers to save ourselves time is has become a way of life for many.
“Technology is all around us and we use it every day, but perhaps we need to consider whether we are using it to support our lives or whether we are trying to get technology to give to us what we will not give to ourselves”.
Part of parenting is to say no. And sometimes, often really, I have to even parent myself and say no. When either myself or my child is stuck in the holds of technology, it physically feels like pulling a leg out of quik sand. But when free, it feels amazing, light, fresh and it’s like I can feel again.
Great analogy Suzanne, “When either myself or my child is stuck in the holds of technology, it physically feels like pulling a leg out of quick sand.” That’s how it feels for myself and I can see for my children when we allow ourselves to sink down more and more into technology. Having the authority in ourselves to say no I find is important.
Comment Technology is an interesting subject – the older generation perhaps not so drawn in and find it challenging, the next generation technology savvy but have lived life prior to technology and know another way for many have not relied heavily on it as a child and the younger generations have lived enmeshed in every conceivable technology at their disposal 24/7. Life for them is often not about the simple pleasures in life but more about the latest App and device and instant feedback from peers via social media. Understanding this is important. As you have shared, Technology can be amazing and progressive and support our lives, relationships and connect us with the world and it can also be used to dull us, distract and numb us and present the cold terrain of wandering in cyberspace as activity that takes us away from what we are feeling and our True connections with each other. It all comes down to our intent and why we are using the Technology and what it therefore brings.
Thanks Deborah, this has helped me to stop and understand more how this has been a part of many of the younger generation “…the younger generations have lived enmeshed in every conceivable technology at their disposal 24/7.” Its just like brushing their teeth, putting their shoes on and using technology. Generations before now have another way to access i.e. life before so much technology, when we are over using it to not feel… yet our younger generation have not unless we reflect that to them or support them with considering another way.
Deborah great insight into the generations that have been exposed to the development of technology in our world. Learning to use it as an extension of our connection to self instead of using it to fill the emptiness of not having that connection with ourself will drastically change how we use technology.
Thank you Aimee for this great blog. I am observing the same thing in my family as you with two teenage girls and a boy who’s eight. We are connecting more to ourselves and each other when we make clearer choices as to why and when we are on our computers, smartphones, games, tv etc. It is work in progress in our family and when we allow it we easily loose ourselves in old patterns. I value the awareness that me and my children at times have and are developing, the awareness that anything that keeps us away from feeling who we are and connecting to ourselves and others is affecting the quality of our lives in a negative way.
Beautiful Katinka the awareness your family is developing around why and when you use technology. It’s so empowering when we actually feel it for ourselves. The honesty and wisdom that comes out of children is amazing!
The popularity of social media has been a catalyst in the growing use of mobile devices and computers. Social media is an amazing tool, but many of us use it as a substitute to feeling true relationships with depth and instead we accumulate ‘friends’ and ‘followers’ and ‘likes’ to stop ourselves from feeling the isolation that is fostered by over-use of technology. It is a vicious cycle that separates us further.
Hear hear Jinya! I was just talking with a friend yesterday about how grateful I am for a platform like Skype that my family and I can keep in touch with family and friends in Australia and how technology can either support connection or separate us further as you’ve so powerfully shared. For me it all comes down to the intention behind why we are using it in the first place.
Aimee what was the outcome and how did all feel after having a technology detox. I agree we do not need to live on Computers, iPhones etc, I am sure we can all give it up even for a day.
Those who rely on the technology for their work,can they stop using it after leaving work until the following morning, or do many have withdrawal symptoms.
Hi Mike, what has followed from the technology detox is that it is very obvious and clear now when we are choosing technology over life. What I mean by that is where we grab for technology for no real purpose other than to stop feeling something or to override tiredness. The beauty of doing this detox is its very difficult to make excuses now, like I’m just jumping on this site to look at this and then an hour later realising of gone from this to that without even connecting to how I feel in my body. What I’m working on at the moment is turning my computer off earlier in the evening and winding down before bed.
‘ The feeling of freedom to feel and think of what is needed next is so clear since my technology detox’. For me this really sums up the effect that our impulse to reach for technology has. It stops us from feeling what is needed next, the connection to ourselves is very much cut off.
Aimee, I love when you say ” Technology is all around us and we use it every day, but perhaps we need to consider whether we are using it to support our lives or whether we are trying to get technology to give to us what we will not give to ourselves…” It is usually taken that new technology is an advancement in our societies, but perhaps the reality is that it could be, but actually it, along with our choices in the way to use it, have actually been a retardation. It appears that we use it to stay in touch with more people, communicate with more, reach people we couldn’t previously….which is all true, but when we look deeper these communications are often more shallow and less truly expressive than ever before. Definitely something to observe and ponder on, thank you.
I am just pondering on all the reasons why we use technology.
To entertain. To communicate. To numb ourselves.
We all crave connection so desperately yet rather than turn to each other we stare at a screen.
In the end its not what we do but the quality we are in when we do it.
Aimee your decision to disconnect from technology and connect to life is like a breath of fresh air. Thank you for sharing your experience.
There are definitely supportive reasons- technology can increase productivity, allow connection across continents without delay and be accessible globally.
There are equally a multitude of uses that serve to distract and numb, reward and entertain.
How is it that as Humanity we manage to turn anything into a comfort and a way to avoid connection with ourselves and others? It is not dissimilar to food to me. This can nourish us, support us and allow us the fuel to live or we can become obsessed with food, abuse it, use it to abuse us, numb us, check out, reward us and for the comfort it provides.
Both scenarios we are avoiding something we do not want to be aware of feeling.
Yes using technology to numb ourselves is more than common. I find even in my awareness how easy it is to go from one thing to another when I am on the computer- before I know it an hour may have gone by! thank you for raising awareness of this Aimee -it is so easy to normalise what we do every day.
Aimee what a fantastic idea to get the whole family on board of a technology detox. As you clearly share that it is in our everyday and when we allow it to take over our state of being it becomes harmfulness. It is so subtle as well. I know when I have gone on holidays in the past and knowing that I can’t get access to emails etc is an instant relief. Which clearly shows the way in which I have been engaging with technology. Great one to consider and put into practice or at least ponder on how I am using it.
It’s really interesting to observe how watching TV has affected my body and mind. I used to watch it constantly to escape and numb what I didn’t want to feel. I realised that watching so much TV wasn’t good for me and I began a relationship of a push-pull away from and to TV, as I weaned myself from this addiction. After many, many months of not watching it I ended up watching a half hour program. Instantly my mind was filled from the program and I went to bed thinking about it’s content, which meant I felt less connected to me and my body. The following day I was aware that my presence with what I was doing in each moment was dulled and numbed. It’s incredible to feel that this is what was happening daily when I was watching TV daily, but I just wasn’t aware of it.
I can relate to my mind and body being filled with what I have been watching on TV the night before… Having just spend 2 weeks away with no TV and little time on devices the difference was quite amazing. Both my husband and I were getting up early energized and certainly not foggy. Thank you for the reminder to not get pulled back in!
I can so relate Rachel to all you have said and that is why I hardly if at all watch TV or movies anymore. I couldn’t discount how much I changed and how my body felt after getting consumed into TV or movies, that it actually became a really easy choice. I would become irritable or emotional, feel foggy in the head and almost feel that I was off in ‘fairy’ land like a different reality. Its like eating chocolate and each time you get an upset stomach and eventually saying no I know full well my stomach is going to ache afterwards so I’m not eating it anymore.
Yes technology itself is not the problem per say but how we use it and our relationship with it. The points you have made here are very relevant to our lives and most worthy of reflection – how we use technology to numb and dull ourselves and as a replacement for ‘connection’. Technology certainly has a place in our lives if used to support expression and being open with people… what often happens however is that we don’t communicate in full via technology and use it as distraction instead of connection.
I agree Sarah – The more we learn how to express in full through technology instead of using it to check out, I feel that we will then see technology used to its full potential.
I still can feel the horrible effects too much engagement in technology has on me. I’ve found that if I waste time on my computer, then everything becomes foggy and reality doesn’t have a sharpness to it anymore, it becomes dull.
I can relate Harrison, it really acts just the same as taking a drug or drinking alcohol. I feel impaired when I check out on technology. So very different to when I use technology in a committed and purposeful way.
I agree Harrison when I watch too much TV my eyes change and I feel a lack of motivation in doing what needs to be done in my life. It’s easier to just turn on the TV and watch someone live their life on TV than to live my own life.
Yes this is so common Sue but as so many have realised it is not how we would naturally choose to be with each other if we looked at why we are putting up this screen in-between people. Especially sad is seeing children with their parents trying to talk with them across a table and the parent on the phone oblivious that they are talking. Not having a go in these circumstances I’ve also done this and just recently my boys called me out on it again. I feel its important also to look at why we feel we think we need to do it ‘all’ at once or have everything done. What are we showing children when we do this? Many children now say I’m talking to my friend but they are actually texting… even the meaning of words have changed.
Just revisiting your blog Aimee and loved it just as much 2nd time through… l’d love to know how you’re going now and whether the family has resumed it’s technological addiction, or whether something of your experiment has carried forward. A great reminder in this that connection needs to be something real and tangible… and the possibility that our fascination with it reflects an underlying craving for a deeper connection, never truly satisfying that deeper need.
Hi Jenny, thanks for asking as it helps me to take a moment to appreciate where we are at as a family with technology. There is definitely a lasting impact from us doing the technology detox, there has been moments when it has got intense on the addicted side again, however, each one of us has more of a responsibility to being aware of this. So when it happens the boys will actually say that they feel yuk or wish they didn’t waste that time and actually connected with their Dad or I or a friend or each other. Its like a spot light is now on why we are using it making it really obvious when it happens. I very rarely if at all watch TV anymore, not from a place of willpower or that’s the right thing to do but a knowing in me that it changes how I feel and there is so much more needed than me sitting watching TV. I also don’t feel like I’m left out and not keeping up with social media. We talk a lot more and there is nothing we allow to distract us through dinner!
Well said Aimee: “Technology is all around us and we use it every day, but perhaps we need to consider whether we are using it to support our lives or whether we are trying to get technology to give to us what we will not give to ourselves…“this is is something we need to talk in schools about, to our children and teenager!
Yes I agree, it would be great to ask children and teenagers ‘Why do you use technology?’ and ‘Do you feel the same after you use it?’ and ‘What happens if you don’t get it?’. Teachers see first hand the destructive impact violent computer games have on children they teach. I feel many many behavioural, learning and social issues come back to the lack of human contact with themselves and others due to technology overload.
” I realised we were all literally hooked into technology in different ways.” This is so true Aimee our society is deeply hooked into technology. As i child there was watching TV and radio. Today we have more options Computer, Mobile phones, play station…and it is almost as there is little time in the day were we are technology free. Something to become much more honest and aware of..and what effect this has on our body & health.
Aimee a really great blog to read, you have definitely made me stop and consider how I use my iPhone, does it support my communication or am I at its beck and call, something to seriously consider, thank you.
That’s great Sally, it shows the power in sharing our experiences with the world and inspiring another.
I was without internet for many days this week while travelling over to Australia and it was interesting and a powerful indicator for me to see how far I have come since this technology detox. Instead of feeling like I was missing out on keeping up with Facebook or emails etc. I felt how much the internet was needed for a purpose to follow up on work and reply to emails that supports myself and someone else getting on with what work needs completing.
I loved this line “We really noticed how much time we had previously wasted focusing on things that didn’t have a heartbeat”
How sad and real is that in the world today. How empty and exposing is it of society that we rely on things without a heart beat to entertain and distract us.
When we are all looking for love, and seeking it from something that cannot love us back.
Yes Gail your point is very true, bottom line is we are all looking to be loved and to love. Technology it would seem has become the substitute but used in this way is just a distraction. If we want real connection with another then it is easier and more instant when in person, as Aimee’s family experiment showed.
Absolutely gail, I heard a lady say to a friend recently “Here I am, something real” as her friend was looking at her phone. The person on the phone misses out but also everyone around them misses out on connecting with them for who they are instead of through a built up technology screen. It’s crazy that using something ‘without a heartbeat’ to protect ourselves from being hurt actually hurts us far greater. I wonder if we will see an increase in heart conditions in the future due to this way of living?
So True. We seek True love and we use everything at our disposal to not live a True life and therefore to never recognise it or say yes when it comes our way. We equally fill our life with all that is false and will not support the Love we are to be expressed and lived,
Wow Gail – that really is sad that this is a reality for so many of us. Looking for Love in all the wrong places.
Thank you Aimee. I too have used ‘technology’ to distract myself from myself only to wake tired and to feel like I am walking around in a dense fog and then feel exhausted at the end of the day to begin the new cycle of watching TV to detach from my exhaustion. The television is rarely switched on these day and when it is I realise why: to distract myself from myself.
While the irony of replying to this wonderful blog online does not escape me, there are lots to consider here about how we use technology and TV to avoid what is going on. I like the point you make about how much time can be frittered away ‘on the box’ of ‘online’.
I love this blog Aimee, it’s brilliant. My internet and TV have been dow for 3 days and it has made me realise how I had recently been using my devices and screens to avoid dealing with several challenging issues within my family and my life. My ‘enforced’ technology detox has opened up the space for re-connecting more deeply with myself, my feelings and the people concerned and situations concerned and the space to address resolving the issues. Thank God for the Telstra district cable blow out!
Technology is not just used to connect with people, it is also necessary in nearly every application in our daily lives nowadays. From iPhones that tell us how far we have walked and allow us to listen to music, to computers, and even the digital toaster, technology has been painted as the way our quality of living will improve, when underneath all of this, the true quality of our health, well being and our interactions is actually getting worse not better.
Yes Joshua, a good point, especially coming from someone who would have grown up with this level of technology available and commonplace. It is definitely ‘sold’ to us as advancement, but as you say, the true quality of our health and wellbeing is dropping markedly. I am sure we will reach a point where society calls a stop to this current progression (and obsession) with technology, particularly the computer gaming aspect. It’s affect on the younger generations cannot be denied, as any parent will attest.
This is true Joshua, we cannot get away from technology anymore, it is part of everyday society now, and if used wisely can be supportive.
“We were able to see each other for who we truly are without all the distractions of TV, phones, gaming devices, etc, and hiding behind them”.
This is very inspiring Aimee.
I love how you took the lead and gently guided your family into the experiment; which obviously worked out really well for you all. Great parenting!
Thank you for exposing the “dangers” of overusing devices.
Recently my computer froze and nothing I knew to do would revive it, so off to the mac doctor it went. I realised then how much of my life is online. My working calendar, my meetings schedule all my documents, clients emails and on and on it goes. After I got over the initial shock of not having my laptop for a day, I loved it; I felt a sense of relief and new freedom of sorts. It was then I realised I was allowing my laptop to have too much of a say. I am now even more aware of how crucial it is to stay fully present with whatever I am working on and not allow myself to be affected, distracted or pulled away from myself or the task at hand. I am also learning when it is time to shut it down.
The benefits of using technology are many, they can be great tools to support connection, like right now I am reading your blog. If we loose ourselves in the process though what true value are they serving? What a great experiment Aimee to highlight the importance of the way we use technology. It is not technology that is the issue here but our relationship with it.
Whilst I am not ‘addicted’ to using technology as I am a ‘digital immigrant’ – so ‘they’ tell me! I am finding just trying to get my ‘old’ head around all the Social Media Forums is way too time consuming for me to include them into my daily rhythms – I have too much living to do to be wasting it on screen time for hours. However, as a recently retired school teacher, and a grandmother, I have certainly noted the disconnection that is clearly visible in both young and older children. The disconnection is twofold – one with themselves and one with being able to relate to and communicate with their peers/parents/colleagues, actually, with society in general. Aimee’s message is certainly a relevant one to note and take heed of: ‘it is the ill way we use technology that affects us all, especially when it is used to checkout and not feel, just like food and other entertainment..
And yes, what will be the side effects of that in years to come – maybe technology intolerance?
I had recently been to Silvercity, New Mexico in the US for a college graduation ceremony. The old part of this quaint old town in the high plains of the Rocky Mountains… on the pavement in front of shops there are blue circles about 12 inches or 300mm with white words on them; ART, FOOD, BEER, MUSIC and a few others. I asked at one of the restaurants what was the thing with the circles, the reply was, its for people with phones so they would know where they were.
I really had to laugh when I read your comment Steve Matson, but in truth there actually is something very wrong when people are so busy on their phones that they don’t even look up when they are walking on the streets nowadays …
Oh my – how telling is this with regards to the total state of being ‘checked out’ when constantly being fixed on one’s phone … truly sad really…
Wow Steve that is interesting…..signs on the pavement for people looking down on their phones instead of looking up and engaging in the world.
Wow – this is an amazing blog Aimee. The choice of your title “Doing the Unthinkable”
highlights well the extent to which many of us are indeed hooked with technology. I love how you expose/reveal so much whilst at the same time offer support to work through what can be revealed to us when we are ready to look at (with honesty) what is going on with our use of technology. Developing/nurturing our connection with ourselves and bringing back/deepening connection in our relationships with others (our dear ones and all) certainly feels the key to re-imprint an abusive/unhealthy relationship with technology and use it to support our lives rather than use technology to give us what we do not give to ourselves. After reading your blog, I felt to experiment with a mini technology detox yesterday with not taking my i-phone with me (usually always in my pocket or very nearby) for about 2 hours going on an outing. The level of freedom I felt in my body was quite extraordinary, revealing and certainly laying a new foundation.
Today i worked half a day and before i entered my work place i choose to leave my mobile phone in the car, so i don’t get tempted to look in between my sessions on the phone. Great decision and it supported me to stay more present during work.
I have been wondering today what it means to be an effective parent. With so many distractions in this modern era it can be really hard to keep a family in line and steady because, as I have observed, each technological distraction has an energetic quality that it brings in to the home. So, is parenting about providing a space where there are no impositions from certain forces such as computer games etc, or is it about providing a space where a child can learn to discern the energy in all things? So exposure to what is modern life is good by this account, and healthy, but I reckon it is the effectiveness of the parent to guide and role model along the way which really makes the difference. Like you, Aimmee with your children, because you have felt and discerned an energetic quality you are now the one making certain choices and everyone is learning by your example.
I agree Shami. It’s not about banning technology or laying down ultimatums; it’s about raising awareness about the effects of technology if we use it blindly to distract ourselves from life. These days I’m much more aware of the moments when I have the choice to stay present and just be, or grab my phone and look at something.
Aimee I noticed how my reflex was to jump to answer the phone. Sometimes I’ve been in the middle of cooking dinner, my hands covered in food, and I’ve still tried to answer the phone and multitask. It doesn’t work. I now practice letting the phone ring when I’m busy and calling people back. I also leave my phone at home sometimes, which is something I would never have done in the past. It feels great to be in charge again, rather than feeling the technology was in control of me.
Wow!!! It does sound to good to be true, but I know it to be true from my own experience. The home feels alive when technology is out of the way, or being used for reasons that do not support ourselves, our family or the wider community.
It is as if we can sir-come to quite a Zombi state when using technology all the time, life comes second to merely existing. I definitely recommend trying this. I did it with mid-aged teenagers so there were a few moments in the beginning of begrudging behaviours but after day two we all started to settle into out own rhythms, which turned out to be a very consistent and considerate rhythm for all those in the home. It is so lovely to feel a connection with a family member when you are no where near them this happens when there is no technology clouding the way. I must say I am not anti-technology, it is how we use it thats the problem, technology is a tool not the reason for the problems that arise.
Yesterday evening i went with my partner for a beautiful walk. We connected lovingly and respectful and hold that connection during our entire walk. When we came home i intended not to go again on my computer or mobile. But than just quickly checked something and remembered to do this and that. Even i intended to rest i felt drawn into the doing something (so did my partner) on the computer. But than i spoke out to my partner that this is a trick to distract us and keep our selves busy and harm us to not prepare in the rhythm that feels supportive before bed time. So we both stopped and had a early night.
As a child i have been addicted to watch TV. And as a adult it was still normal whenever i was at home in the day or the evening to watch TV or DVD. This has slowing decreased within the last 12 years. I had times when i didn’t had a TV. But still watching DVD and movies was important for me. But i realized that watching it in the evening had an ill effect on my sleep so changed it to watching it in the day or early evening. Slowing i realized that i tend to check out already during watching TV and often ate a lot of food while watching TV. So i didn’t feel very well after watching a film. So i watched less and less TV. And today i don’t watch TV anymore, which i would have never thought is possible. After reading this blog i need to be honest about my ways how i use my laptop and mobile so that i use it in a way to support my life and rhythm lovingly.
I can feel how important the discussion is Aimee you have started with your blog! We need to become aware how we misuse technology to check out and not to take the responsibility to look more honest and closer how we live on a daily basis. Our daily choices we are making and the way we are in relationships with other people.
I remember I was 14 when the morning TV shows first started and I thought it was the best thing ever, but now looking at it I can see that I was getting my TV fix before going to school, as soon as I got in from school, right up till bed time.
I saw the TV as a way to relax but now I know I was numbing myself from everything that I had felt during the day – it took the edge off of life. This continued for the rest of my life (now 54 years) until very recently when I went on a TV detox and now if I sit to watch the TV I can’t see what the attraction was and I can feel this dulling effect.
I rarely watch TV (I don’t have one and rely on my computer if there is a program I would like to watch) when I do, it is invariably because I’ve been pushing to get things done and I have exhausted myself and the TV gives me some ‘time out’ and is a distraction from what I do not want to feel in my body.
What a great experiment and a great result!
I wil try it myself!
Awesome… look forward to hearing how it goes!
Now that tubes in London have wifi in the stations, there are a lot more people who pull out their mobile devices during their commutes. The voice over the tannoy does ask commuters to not use them near the edge of the platform because people have obviously been injured by speeding trains, unaware of where they stand. In essence this is what is happening to many of us, whether we are in a train station or not. We may be driving or walking down the street. The number of people you see with their focus elsewhere and not where they are is enormous. I have done this too. Besides the obvious dangers, which I am sure has seen hospitalisations boom, there is the accumulative affect of living like this everyday, when every spare moment is stolen by our need for connection and distraction on social media, a game or some other technology based focus. The true devastating affects of such a constant use of mental energy will not be obvious to humanity for some time, but just like the truth about cigarettes came out, so will the truth about our desperate need for connection, but seeking it in the wrong places.
Great comment Jinya, when I was reading it I pictured our mobile devices as remote controls governing how much we pay attention or not… my question is though, when do we stop to check who or what is in control of the remote control?
We can feel and imagine what the affects of all this constant mental energy may be to our bodies and our society but do we need to wait for it to be proven in years to come, when if we stopped and had a break from it, we could quite simply have all the answers now!
Yes Jinya, I have noticed the increase in people walking along the streets with their heads down looking at their phones, not looking where they are going. When driving I have noticed how dangerously people step out into the road, again because they are distracted by their phones, not to mention drivers who are driving with one hand because their phone is in the other one. Its a real concern.
I agree Jinya, it has a devastating effect! If we are all needing to check in on Facebook or search for connection every spare moment we have, when do we get to know ourselves better? When do we sit in stillness and go “I feel great being me?”
I didn’t consider the increase in hospitalisation boom Jinya…. Yes of course texting whilst driving is an obvious but all the times we try to continue our daily tasks whilst focused on our phone screen. So we see the physical damage there but the psychological damage is yet to be revealed as you say.
I have been slow to see the merits of technology, concerning how we express to others, work and learn and yet I am also aware that if we do not ensure we are clear about its purpose it can become evasive. It is possible to have it support life, it just takes honesty about how and why we are using it.
Yes Samantha, like any thing we are doing or eating etc. it takes honesty to ask ourselves why and then we truly know if it is supporting or we are using it for some other reason.
Amiee, a week before you posted this blog we in our household also had decided to have a detox from the box. I have myself been tethered to the box from the time it was only in black and white. I remember staying up late on July 21 1969 to watch live, the first man to walk on the moon and on 9/11 watching live as the second plane crashed into the twin towers and both collapse. The word technology was first used over 400 years ago. What is presented is the same, just faster to the point of overload. The big box in our living room has still not been watched since May… and has not been missed.
I went with out my phone for quite a while, and having it back has been really interesting. Its amazing how our phones can become an extra limb, and how we use them to ease tension in any situations, rather than connect with others.
Well observed Rebecca, i agree using our mobile to “ease tension” and instead to reconnect we distract ourselves bringing another activity in checking our calls or emails.
Wow Aimee, its huge what you described here. I have issues at times getting my children off their screens after seeing how it can change them, and also with myself, I can feel how sometimes I need to take a break, not even necessarily because I am using it in the wrong way, but simply because I need to have some time just with me – my body, nature, conversation with another etc. You have offered much for consideration.
Aimee, this could be the start of a ‘parenting’ book for the children and parents alike. There is something to be said for what your family did for a short period, as you explained it revealed just how intrusive technology can be and the pitfalls of it. The pit falls largely being the impact it has on relationships (with self and others) and consequently our health. As you arrive at in this blog, your family has felt what is like to live a different way so you now have a gauge to detect when the balance is tilting towards technology dominating again and reassess behaviours. How freeing to not live at the mercy of technology as so many today do.
It’s super interesting how much the world now relies on technology to function… Can you imagine a global blackout – no electricity to run machinery, computers, house phones, the phone signals wouldn’t work, no light, no resources to do anything. I’ve recently been doing some work experience in a hospital and the amount of machines they rely on to keep people alive is incredible.. There can be needles and tubes going in everywhere across the body that each link up to a certain machine, and without one of these working the patient would crash and burn. Although taking a technology detox works wonders, there is absolutely no way to do this on a large scale… The world is at a point where it can’t turn back and run smoothly still.
So true Susie. It would be like removing all medicine and health care from humanity temporarily. We would see where we are at, but at the same time we would have a lot of casualties. Technology is still relatively in its infancy. The light bulb was only invented about 100 years ago. I am sure there will be many inventions in the years to come that would be astounding, but with it will come the choice to use it responsibly or not. The question that humanity needs to ask is – are we inventing stuff to serve humanity or to make money?
I don’t have a TV and don’t miss it one bit. Today when I got home from work there was a little note from the TV licensing people. They wanted to check that I didn’t have a TV and that they are going to stop by and check again. This seems a ridiculous waste of time and money to me. Is it so unusual that I should choose NOT to have a TV and the point is that why would they not trust that I am telling the truth? Unfortunately, maybe it is the way of the world to deceive each other, leading to lack of trust all round. All in the name of collecting revenue.
It exposes sandrahenden just how abnormal it is in society to not have a TV…. a bit like saying you don’t drink alcohol.
Sandrahenden, I stopped having a television around 6 years ago when I wrote to TV licensing to confirm that I do not watch television and therefore did not need a license. I confirmed that I would not be going back to watching TV but should I change my mind I would write and let them know. Despite this they continue to check up on me which I find the most bizarre approach. I wonder when it will become abnormal to have a TV?
What a bold move Aimee and what a blessing for your family to go on a technology detox. At present we are hosting a student from Dubai who is here to improve his English. He told us on the first night that he doesn’t need to use a computer, that too much TV or IT is not good. We have enjoyed conversations at the dinner table, and as you found, the house feels harmonious and spacious.
Your blog really inspired me to look at how I am using technology. I no longer now automatically reach for the laptop when i come home from work. Almost all my computer work is done in the early morning which now frees me up to spend time with my family later, take more care over preparing dinner and go for a gentle walk. No more cramming everything in and there is now a sense of space around me as I enjoy my evenings and wind down time.
What you have put in place for yourself jane176 feels beautiful and honouring of yourself and your family. Just this week I noticed I was getting into a pattern of coming home from work and going right what is the next job I need to do and getting straight on the computer, then running late with everything else and not preparing myself for bed or sitting and talking with my family. I am now doing some of my computer work in my lunch hour at work and getting up that bit earlier to do more in the mornings before work, in order to wind down and prepare for my evenings… I already feel a huge difference.
This is inspiring Jane176 to read the changes you made after reading Aimees blog. I also feel to do my computer work in the morning, check it at lunch again to keep my evening time laptop and email free, to give me and my partner space to stop and connect.
Interestingly I came across this blog directly after eating in front of my computer. Not to say technology is bad, like most things it can be used as a form of distraction or as a supportive tool. Children seem to be spending alot of time with technology – I am not sure what the impacts of this will be apart from the fact there will be alot more tech geniuses in years to come. I do get concerned about the content we allow on these platforms, there is so much violence, pornography harassment and other forms of cyber abuse on the internet that we are exposing our children (and ourselves) to everyday.
Your blog Aimee is incredibly revealing in terms of how hooked we are as a society into technology, it is almost like a life support system. Technology can also be used to assist us in deepening our connection with others or it can be used as a means to check out.
I absolutely love this idea Aimee, and what a turnaround for the family, bringing in some true connections and bringing in opportunities for some real relationship building, is what its all about.
We don’t realize the full impact technology is having on us until we read a blog like this and it makes us stop. It highlights what naturally happens when we do switch off our computers, TV, ipod, wii etc. ”We were all left to feel what our bodies wanted to do” – we have lost this. I find myself checking my phone regularly feeling the need to connect. I have become aware of this for some time and now I am inspired to do something about it! There is much to ponder on here. Thank you Aimee for sharing a most interesting article.
This blog is so revealing. I loved reading your description of the house on the first morning of the detox. I can feel how still and clear it was despite the fact that everyone was adjusting to a new way of being with each other. It feels like a sense of simplicity and ease was present. I am really inspired by this.
It was such a palpable difference Leonne… it shows just how quickly a space, relationships, our bodies and how we feel, can change when we call out what is not working or loving in our lives.
Thank you Aimee for exposing this lifestyle that’s becoming the norm. It is a filler and a numbing device that we are getting lost in instead of being in the world, or even being in the room that your in or sometimes the people you are with.
It feels so strange when I see people in the same room all on different devices and not really being with each other. Even though the space may be full of people it feels empty. How did humanity get to this point of preferring disconnection over sharing time with each other?
Great article to come back to. Recently I read an article about drug abuse that mentioned ‘the age of loneliness’. We are connected to people more than ever before in history: cars, trains, planes and also of course the internet on computers and now also on our mobile phones. Technology wise connected. But we feel more lonely than ever before. Could it be we miss the true connection with people, because we miss the connection with ourselves?
Technology is literally a channel of information into our lives. It is the true quality of that information that is always there when we choose to use the technology so having a Technology detox and feeling where everyone is at is potentially a very healing thing to do. Especially so now we have so much technology… we can get FB on our watches, phones and TVs – its like you cannot get away from the Internet now!
So true Joshua, what technology in truth is there to do is always available to us… its whether we choose it with a purpose of why it is needed or choose it as a form of distraction.
This is the question I ask myself now… ‘What is the purpose of me looking at this or being on this?’
‘What is the purpose of me looking at this or being on this?’ Technology is a tool that we can utilise to support us in what we need to do or a use as a distraction so the responsibility rests with us in how we use it and your question gets to the heart of this Aimee. Thanks for sharing.
Amazing how it was all right there for this family, relationships, responsibility, organisation. . . Without the numbing, distracting influence of the TV they were left free to feel and connect to their true selves as well as each other.
‘How do you know what you are like with something if you don’t have the time without it to feel and see the difference?’ I absolutely agree, it is easy to say and think one could go without something but really doing it shows us how much we get used to something and how easily it can develop into a stupor in the sense of not allowing us to be aware and open anymore.
Inspirational indeed Aimee. I have teenagers around the house regularly and very rarely do they not have some sort of screen in front of them, be it a phone, ipad, computer etc etc. it dampens social skills .
It does Heidi and stunts freely expressing to one another. I watched a young lady at gym today lifting weights with one hand while texting with the other…. and I wondered when do some people have any time to themselves at all? I love leaving my phone in the car so there are no distractions while I connect with my body through exercise, but this was not always the case and I too would like something there just incase I didn’t want to feel something.
I love to be reminded of the clarity we used to have when we were not under pressure with all this technology and its immediacy, and when we could do things at the human pace and with consideration, rather than just a ‘oh that will do’. And feeling like a weight had been lifted off – yes it’s great to be able to live from your pace rather then having that feeling of being pushed from behind all the time.
I love where you wrote about the wasted time being caught up with things without a heart beat!
Technology tends to take up so much time these days, definitely taking us away from the warmth of real life connections. I have been caught up in this way too. The antidote, walk down the street or pick up the phone and actually talk with someone.
The day i read this blog i was more aware when i went to work on my computer and at times i did not, which was awesome! This subject is so important to talk about and share with other people!
So cool Janinaelisa, I am constantly inspired by reading many peoples everyday livingness and then feeling it for myself.
I agree Janinaelisa it is so important to share these insights with others because unless we do the world just seems to steam ahead without any deeper awareness of what we are developing and creating.
I am not against technology at all. It so useful and has real potential to make great changes in our struggles world. Its the way we use it and the lack of responsibility we have towards ourselves and others that I feel exposes itself.
Wow. The implications of your experiment are huge. The self-inflicted mind control and zombification we willingly do to ourselves through technology is abruptly highlighted in the before and after description of your detox. The sheer courage to walk away from technology for the period of time you did and as a family too, shows the degree to which its domination is so prevalent in our lives. What struck a real chord with me was the fact that once your mind’s no longer distracted by the lure of your device of choice, you’re able to feel what’s going on in your body and work with that, freed up to feel how tired you are and what your body wants to do. But at the root of all this is the undeniable fact that technology is but one means through which we choose to numb and dull the emptiness we feel, to avoid feeling it. That emptiness, to me, is the bigger malaise.
I agree Gill. It is our relationship with technology that is the issue. Technology is incredible and in many ways it opens up great opportunities as you describe and can be used for a greater good so to speak. I do get the feeling however sometimes that some technology was only invented to distract or numb us from real life and disconnect us from each other. So I reckon if we changed our relationship with technology then perhaps it would become much simpler and many forms of it would no longer be around?
A great description here of what a detox perhaps is really about – there are so many things and habits that we do so often we consider them normal but perhaps do not consider what we would feel like if we did not have them. A detox in its true form gives us that opportunity to feel what it would be like without the habit and an opportunity to establish or connect to our true essence or normal.
Social media is deceiving, where people have their accounts that say they have so many ‘friends’ e.g. 300 and it makes them feel popular and they are doing ok because of that number, however a majority of those ‘friends’ are often people they don’t even know, friends of friends of friends who liked their page…its like living in illusion.
A technology detox – i love it!! What really stood out for me is that we actually very rarely give ourselves the space to really be in stillness, just be with ourselves. I know for me, my phone is never far from my hand and in fact if it isn’t near me or god forbid i leave it at home by accident, you would think my hand had just been chopped off. So doing a self imposed technology detox, sounds like a great idea. TV would be a big one to add into that also! I am feeling very inspired by your sharing, i will report back.
How rare is it for a family to all sit down at a table, share a meal together and converse? In how many homes do people eat their meals in front of the TV or snack at the computer? Bravo for calling a holt to the tecno addiction and refocusing on those with a heart beat. It would be great if this caught on and more people experienced the benefits of detox.
Thank you Barbara. It is quite shocking and sad to hear of how many families, partners or friends don’t sit down to talk and share a meal together but instead be distracted with a TV or computer. This is not being critical as I too have done this many times with my family.
I heard of a young lady recently while visiting a friends place for dinner she was really upset and uncomfortable because the family sat around the dinner table and talked… she later explained that she had never experienced that with her family because dinner has always been in front of the TV and that she is not sure if she could do it again. What do we show another or even ourselves when we put technology as more important than connection?
Thank you Aimee really important subject you write about in the blog. I observed myself letting myself being dominated from reading always my emails on my laptop, i phone or i pad. That i don’t listen to how i feel and when it is appropriate to be on the computer and when there is a time, when i just sit in the garden to listen to the birds and look in the sky.
Our Technology is amazing! But we need to use it in way to support us and not to separate us from others or check out and escape from live.
My experience with TV in the last weeks is, that it is difficult for me to watch TV without getting affected by the energy coming towards me, so I decided not to watch TV any more. What I continue to practice in general is “observe and not absorb”.
Aimee I love the awareness and responsibility you offer your family. It is so very simple and valuable to ‘switch off”. Your children will greatly appreciate understanding this particularly as they get older. An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure when it comes to mental health.