Where do I begin with this subject?… I have so much to write. I begin with myself; to share how drinking alcohol – the true picture – affected my family and myself from childhood and throughout our lives. I want to show the true picture, the ripple effect alcohol had on all my family and relationships, even though I myself did not get addicted to alcohol.
As a child, I remember feeling a cold house with a cold atmosphere. We did have electricity in the house but no real warmth or love – for me as a child, this was the most damaging; and how my parents became unrecognisable with the abuse of alcohol, and how very unsafe I felt.
Through the eyes of a child, when my parents drank alcohol they started to change and behave differently; they no longer felt like my parents and this was a very scary experience as their faces started to distort. And as they drank more and more alcohol their voices changed, they became very loud and aggressive. It was like at any stage, depending on when they felt like drinking, I would no longer have my parents.
In complete contrast, the times when they were not drinking alcohol, when my parents were sober, they were really quiet and good people – gentle people, very gentle and simple in how they lived. They both worked very hard as they had six children to support. My father stopped working through stress and long hours, so then my mother went out to work to support us all. They were generous people, my parents, always helping relatives and neighbours in need.
The Effects of Alcohol
As a child, the effects of my parents drinking alcohol were still felt. I remember feeling so different, and that I did not fit in or belong in my family. How would I survive and cope?
It was then the anxiousness set in as I felt my environment to be unsafe. I had become so anxious that this feeling of being unsafe was present even on those occasions when my parents weren’t drinking.
Once the anxiousness set in, everything changed…
Feeling anxious in my body took me away from the innocence and stillness within me; like being in calm waters to then find yourself in turbulent waters, it did not feel good. As a consequence I developed a lack of commitment to life. I feel the depth of this now, and the effect my parents drinking alcohol had on me:
- I did not want to ‘be here’ and I could not ‘do’ life (this was very strong)
- Wherever I went, the anxiousness never left me
- I had huge trust issues – trusting no one
- I was deeply insecure
- My emotions controlled me
- I was becoming like my parents, except without the alcohol.
In other words, early on I had fallen into the habit of disconnecting from my body so as to not feel the effects my parents drinking alcohol and the drama and emotions had on me. That is how I lived for the next 40 or so years of my life.
As an adult I drank very little and very rarely, so I was not addicted to alcohol and felt I was doing better than my parents, which I now realise was not true. I left home at 17, but looking back it feels like I had never truly left my parents’ house because wherever I went my emotions followed me.
Addicted to the Side Effects of Alcohol… Emotions
I did not get addicted to alcohol but I did get addicted to the emotions and drama that play out with drinking alcohol. I came to this important revelation by having regular esoteric healing sessions. I saw that my emotions had always controlled me. So I did not escape, not at all.
I took on the same behaviour as my parents, but without actually drinking alcohol. Many times I was unable to restrain the uncontrollable anger I held inside. I held deep anger towards my mother for a long time: I blamed her for all my struggles, for not providing the love and warmth I needed as a child, for not seeing me for who I was, and for my always feeling unsafe and so on…
Anger is a destructive emotion. It feels to me, with anger, I opened the door to aggression, blame, hate (of myself), control, ugliness and much more, everything that is not love or light, everything that is the exact opposite of our true and natural essence: LOVE.
I had no addiction to alcohol, yet here I was with all these raging emotions controlling me and keeping me disconnected from my body. I was no different to my parents.
The side effects of alcohol didn’t stop at only ‘my’ emotions… my emotional behaviour also influenced my children – they too took on all of these emotions. Even my four-year old grandson often experiences uncontrollable emotional outbursts: four generations affected by alcohol.
True Healing from the Effects of Alcohol
My physical body did not escape the effects of alcohol and the consequences of years of running it with anxiousness, anger, deep self-loathing, lack of commitment to life and disconnection (checking out). In July 2011, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This stopped me in my tracks.
At that time I was blessed to meet Serge Benhayon. By attending Universal Medicine presentations and courses, as well as consulting an esoteric practitioner trained by Serge, I have worked on my issues and received many insights and much healing.
Today I feel so much more in my body. When I took responsibility for my life and all my choices, everything changed. The anger I held for my mother left me when I stopped blaming her. It took a lot longer for me to ‘feel safe’, but when I did, my anxiousness started to subside and weakened; once more I swim in calm waters.
Healing my issues has healed my anxiousness. Being willing to heal my issues shows my True Commitment To Life, which is True Healing – true healing from alcohol.
A commitment to life and self can bring about true healing for those who choose it, so that we are not forever at the mercy of the damaging effects of alcohol and our past choices…
I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself. Being present in my body means I can express that which I had felt I could not express as a child. I see now it has always been my choice, and that the anger towards my mother and my parents drinking alcohol, was perhaps more anger at myself for choosing to leave my innocence, my stillness, my knowingness; my beautiful, sweet divine self, the angelic child that I was.
Alcohol is an Evil and Poisonous Substance. Drinking alcohol has effects well beyond what we are often willing to consider or take responsibility for. By sharing the true picture and the true damage for my family and myself, my experience shows how it robs us of everything that is pure and innocent and divine. On some level we ALL know this to be true.
Deeply Inspired by the Presentations And Courses of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Jacqueline McFadden –Scotland
Related Reading:
My Mother – Beautiful Flower, Beautiful Angel
I feel from experience that when we shut ourselves down from the emotional hurts that we feel and do not know how to deal with; we don’t realise the damage this can have on our bodies.
Universal Medicine is a game changer because it gives everyone the opportunity to make changes in their lives which are more supportive so that they can dissect and heal with the understanding that they are more than just their emotional hurts. I personally feel that there is nothing out there quite like Universal Medicine for understanding our bodies and how we can reconnect back our essence which is at the core of every human- being.
I love how you have exposed here how we can be addicted to emotions – very telling and very important we consider this when giving up anything that we know is not truly good for us.
No matter our age or where we are in life we can heal the past so it no longer is a part of our lives. It does require a commitment but above all the absolute love for self.
“When I took responsibility for my life and all my choices, everything changed” True and healing change comes when we stop blaming others or something outside of us and take responsibility for how we choose to live.
Well done Jacqueline for calling out that alcohol is evil and a poisonous substance. Not only does alcohol poison our bodies but it seeps in and corrodes our relationships.
Jaqueline, thank you for sharing this; ‘I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself.’ This is a great reminder that staying present in our bodies is key.
Staying safe is only a feeling that we can give to ourselves by staying with, accepting and dealing with what we can feel. Going deeper within, and really knowing, accepting and adoring who we are. When we shut down from what we don’t want to feel, we also cut ourselves off from our own source of love and care which never needs protecting and never goes anywhere.
Alcohol played a huge part in our upbringing in my family, so much so that every occasion was based around having a drink. If ever anyone came to visit the first thought would be to make sure we had enough rum and coke and beers in.
Thank you for sharing how it felt for you to be around parents who drank, and the effect it had on you, ‘In other words, early on I had fallen into the habit of disconnecting from my body so as to not feel the effects my parents drinking alcohol and the drama and emotions had on me. That is how I lived for the next 40 or so years of my life.’ We are not always choosing to be aware of the consequences of our actions, responsibility at all times is so important.
Alcohol is an excuse to avoid responsibilty, a pretext to hide the hurts, a try to cope with life without feeling, a way of being part of something else while betraying the delicateness that we are… a poison that separates us from purpose and supress our unique nature. It is clear that nothing good will come from consuming it..
This is so impactful to expose the harming effect of alcohol that is so much more far reaching than the person who drinks.
Yes, the knock on consequences of drinking alcohol are huge and need to be exposed.
Whilst alcohol is often the fuel that flames many many horrible and disturbing situations it is never the true cause. We must remember that. It is the underlying hurts that continue to fester in ones body whilst they are not dealt with that when expressed give rise to such situations. And what is the way to heal our hurts? Reconnect with our Soul, our true essence for if you don’t you remain a puppet for your spirit which manipulates you through your unresolved hurts.
I find it very interesting that a substance such as alcohol, that can change someones state of being after just one drink (or even one sip), and whats more is so damaging to ones health, is not only so widely and easily accessible but is also so readily accepted as being ‘normal’. In fact if you choose not to drink you are often thought of as ‘abnormal’. A world without alcohol would be a very different place indeed.
“I had no addiction to alcohol, yet here I was with all these raging emotions controlling me and keeping me disconnected from my body. I was no different to my parents.” this is such an eye opening statement Jacqueline it really does take the judgement out of what we perceive to be ‘bad’. Thank you.
The power of wanting to fit in and be accepted is so overwhelming that we over ride our initial feelings of what alcohol does to those around us and the impact that this has. To stand strong and not cave into what the ‘normal’ thing is to do by drinking alcohol is very inspiring and a huge confirmation that it is totally possible and a choice. It’s never too late to make it even if we spent most of our adulthood life drinking, we can always say no at any point. It certainly changed my life.
This highlights deleterious effect that alcohol has not only on our body and being, but also the harm and abuse that is paid forward, through us, to our family and the effect this has on our communities. When we begin to realise how our every move has a huge impact in this world we then will begin to see how grossly abusive it is on all counts to poison ourselves with alcohol. So where to if we cannot use alcohol to numb and avoid feeling our hurts? Only through honesty and being open to healing our hurts will we come to feel the love we already are and can never be tarnished, and just how powerful we are when we choose to live in connection to the love that honors all of who we are.
Thank you for exposing how wide the harm caused by alcohol extends and that it can go down the generations whether alcohol is consumed or not. We will only address the evil of alcohol when we are willing to acknowledge that this is the reality for so many living today whether a drop of alcohol has passed their own lips or not.
Your description of a cold house is chilling as you give such a clear perspective of how a vulnerable child can feel like their parents are taken away by an addiction to alcohol. And as common as this is, it continues to happen everywhere.
This s so inspiring to have the next generation actually seeing what has been chosen in the past by previous generations and how that it hasn’t worked. Doing what feels true for ourselves and listening to our bodies is key.
Yes, honouring ourselves and our bodies is key, not blindly following others.
A very honest example of the fact that the ripple effect of not only alcohol, but also emotional chaos in a family, leaves no one untouched; everyone one is affected. Unfortunately, if this continues the children are more than likely to be affected for the rest of their lives unless they come across the amazing healing you did. And to begin to heal these very old issues will be the difference between living in true connection to yourself and the joy that comes with it, or simply just getting by in life; existing not truly living.
When I look back and see how it could have been different, I could have chosen to honour what I really felt and not follow the ingrained way of living where Alcohol is our normal day-to-day way of living and it being normal. But it’s never to late to make a different choice and stopping alcohol is one of the best I have chosen.
Having seen the affects of alcohol abuse in my family too it was a very similar experience and those affected by it are still carrying the hurts long into their adult lives as in life it is not really considered that a way out of this is to deal with the hurts we carry and the patterns that come from them.
“I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself. Being present in my body means I can express that which I had felt I could not express as a child” and hear in lies the first steps to true healing. Thank you for sharing your journey Jacqueline how awesome you were able to offer such understanding to this situation and within that heal childhood hurts.
I was reminded recently of the nastiness of the energy that comes with drinking alcohol. The spitefulness that comes from a body that is pure love, the irresponsibility and the arrogance of that person totally unconcerned about the ripple effect of the words they have used and the way they have behaved. I am enormously appreciative of that reflection because there might have been a moment, just a moment, where I forgot what it felt like to be on the receiving end of it.
The responsibility of dealing with our hurts is undervalued and under appreciated. We cannot continue to blame others for the experiences we had, because that leaves us in an emotional tornado that never goes and only causes us severe physical and mental harm. We repel and then blame, we lash out and then defend. Taking responsibility means we bring the focus to what we can change, our focus, our energy, our tornado.
If we do not deal with our hurts they come with us no matter which country we move to ‘start afresh’
” A commitment to life and self can bring about true healing for those who choose it, so that we are not forever at the mercy of the damaging effects of alcohol and our past choices ”
This is very important , for free will is a constant choice.
Awesome Jacqueline – “By sharing the true picture and the true damage for my family and myself, my experience shows how it robs us of everything that is pure and innocent and divine.” Its true, and I can see it more clearly than ever before just how alcohol does just that even it is not consumed in the body but within the same house.
Being brought up where alcohol was normal and every day and to be then saying no it doesn’t have to be this way, what a difference my life has been without it. I stopped drinking 10 years ago and it is the best thing that I ever did. What supported this, thanks to Universal Medicine modalities, was healing the hurts that I had carried around that I was trying to numb.
I can very much relate to anxiousness and the co-relationship it has with feeling safe. It’s important to understand and accept that emotions although they are not who we are, are in fact there to teach us. They present themselves to be healed as in essence we do not have any issues in our body.
Let’s face it… It’s a socially accepted poison that is like a toxic miasma spreading throughout our society.
I’ve just been out for dinner for my birthday and not one person was drinking alcohol at my table and what I really clocked was the over stimulated people around me that were, everything was loud and there was a frantic feel to the room and with same area’s of the room it had more where people were having a lot of alcohol. I work in hospitality and it was again another reminder and confirmation of why I decide to stop in the first place. Walking to the toilet I felt super clear, steady, confident and still, the polar opposite to the room. I can look back and see the choice I have made and how if I hadn’t made them I would have been totally part of the chaos.
This is a very honest look at the many disturbances alcohol brings into our lives and we are very much fooling ourselves, and have for a long time, by seeing alcohol consumption as normal and by not pinpointing it to what it is. It is deeply harming, with many ripple effects as you so well describe here. It simply takes the joy out of life – and there we can see how insidious it is as we believe quite the opposite that with alcohol we can relax and enjoy life. How very fooled we are.
I would agree alcohol takes away your purity and innocence. On many occasions I was subjugated to imposing acts that I would never ever would have said yes to honouring the purity of the real me. It is evil and should be banned from our societies. Bring back responsibility and awareness to how you treat yourself effects everyone around you especially being a parent and how it efffects our children as Jacqueline exposes.
This topic is one that needs much more exploration. Alcohol and alcohol related abuse and diseases are well known, yet there is something within our society that says ‘don’t touch this or don’t expose this too much’. With all the issues with alcohol there is still such a strong investment in it and we need to question why.
To begin to acknowledge the damage alcohol brings to families means that we, as a humanity, will have to take responsibility for having been apart of causing the harm. As we do so, it is easy to choose to no longer partake in the consumption of it.
There is so much in this article that I can relate to. For along time emotional energy was my alcohol, as is shared here it kept me separate from my body and forever at the mercy of sadness, guilt, anger, frustration and everything in between. The anxiousness I lived with was what I thought was normal. But it isn’t, there is a steadiness and deep knowing that we all hold within and it is a continuing journey to explore more of my steadiness everyday.
The stark contrast in behaviours of when a person is under the influence of alcohol to when they are not is proof enough for me that this is something to be avoided yes, but that never should a person be rejected, so that there is always love for them to come back to.
In the disconnection of alcohol use that sense of wellbeing and what effect this choice will have on the body doesn’t even come into the picture as they are too focussed on celebrating, consoling, drowning and pushing down what they are feeling to really care, and the energy driving that choice, has a strong influence over them. Only when they are out of that hold back to some semblence of themselves is there space to reflect on their choice, but rarely do they look at what effect it has on others around them.
The effects of alcohol and other problematic behaviours on and in a household are untold. Whilst we might not be drinking / violent / taking drugs / abusing ourselves, and might even look like we’re coping, the true effects are untold. Everything effects everything and the multi-generational impacts are real, as this story amply illustrates.
The very idea that it is totally normal to go out on the town and get smashed by alcohol is telling us that we are way out of touch with ourselves. We are so far away from love that we can’t or won’t choose to feel these disrespectful and abusive choices we are making every day. We get stuck in old patterns and think this is us and that we can’t change but all we have to do is start to be more honest and huge things can happen.
Our patterns and issues can run deep and be passed on from generation to generation but at any time any one of us can choose to stop and correct those patterns and let go of any issues we carry to live our potential.
We all do know it when we see our parents drinking alcohol and how they start to change and become different people. So many times I would go to my room and pretend it wasn’t happening and praying for it to be over. But then it start to be something that I considered was normal as it continued and I didn’t really see that there was another way. This then continued into my adult life and by the time I reached 30 and with the support of Universal Medicine I realised that there was another way to live that was much more honouring of our bodies and loving. Best thing I have ever done is to make the choice so to see that deep down there were hurts that I was numbing.
Thank you Jacqueline what a wonderful truth in the livingness with alcohol , the ill that the use of alcohol a poison brings to the world where love could be .
Thank you for sharing the true extent of the damage caused to the whole family by alcohol abuse and how this plays out in lack of commitment to life by all concerned which has a huge impact on society. It is not just the messy impact of obvious drinking that affects us all it is the far wider ripple effects of all the associated behaviours and as you so rightly point out the addiction to the drama and the emotional turmoil that keeps so many imprisoned and often unable to function. There is much healing needed and it is only by exposing all aspects that we can start to address these issues.
We may not think we are damaging or hurting another by drinking alcohol if there is no obvious sign of it but from my experience when I was young and being around adults drinking; it was very disruptive and made me feel very unsafe at times.
It’s so true how deeply damaging alcohol is on us. If only society realised the effects of a so called ‘night out’. It is literally ruining us as a society, and yet something has us stuck in believing we deserve it.
Such a great testament as to how much alcohol truly effects not only the person having it but all those around them. It is something that has been accepted as normal but what we haven’t taken into consideration is the impact that it is having on our relationships.
Using my emotions was also my alcohol and it is not possible to say ‘oh, that is not the same’. It is and sometimes it was more poisonous through the way I used this to manipulate others and situations. I say this not to have a go at myself, as I no longer live this way, but to expose the great harm that we do when we are under the influence of anything other than our essence, our soul.
A very honest account about alcohol, exposing the poison that it truly is.
“Alcohol is an Evil and Poisonous Substance. Drinking alcohol has effects well beyond what we are often willing to consider or take responsibility for.” Yes put this next to the fact it is poisoning our body and accountable for a lot of physical abuse too and I wonder why we as humanity see drinking any amount of alcohol not as a problem because we should.
I did have a drinking problem, but at the time I thought the only person I was hurting was me with no idea about the energetic consequences I was having on my environment or on those around me. I am just over the moon that it has been ten years since I stopped drinking and that my daughter has never had the displeasure of seeing me drunk or even with a glass of alcohol in my hand.
To live in the ignorance and arrogance that my choices do not affect those around me and beyond is absurd… every choice I make has an impact in one way or another.
Thank you for this powerful message Jacqueline, on the damaging effects that alcohol has on our lives. Not only is it poison to our bodies but equally poisonous to our lives, and as you have shared we all do know the truth. When we only focus on our escaping or bettering the life we think we alone are living, we lose sight of all we are connected to and how whatever we choose and do has a great effect on all those around us, far and wide, and through time. When we bring focus to being honest with ourselves and how we are feeling, we then are able to realise the truth in our choices and feel the effects they have on our well-being and the quality we bring to those around us.
To stay in our body and be present with ourselves means to me that we give ourselves the opportunity to feel what is going on and the more present we are the more aware we become.
What is accepted in society, changes, fluctuates, and is so often not based on what is truly going to support us… let’s face it… doctors were smoking on television Not so long ago. But what we really really need is a deep and abiding connection with ourselves that enables us all to make choices based on true information rather than dis-information
“Anger is a destructive emotion.” Anger and alcohol can be equally harmful to the natural harmony of the body.
It is by no coincidence that some people become angry, aggressive and abusive to others after consuming alcohol… the total opposite to the energetic qualities of harmony and brotherhood that are naturally present in its true form in the liver.
It is wonderful how you have healed your hurts and embraced life, Jacqueline; I deeply appreciate what you have shared. Thank you for exposing the ripple effect of the impact of alcohol and the damage it causes individuals, families and societies.
This blog confirms alcohol is such a poison that it changes people and for that person it gives them the falsity of either ‘happiness’ (till the morning) or the opposite, in either cases they are not themselves.
All I can say is that I have been there done it and got the T shirt and never again. Reality is there the following day so the best thing is to face it.
That there are still conglomerates making untold profits out of manufacturing substances that cause such havoc harm and grief in our societies is surely an ongoing and sobering reflection that we must look within, as the ancient wisdom has always said , and understand that we are truly one, that this is ‘one life’ and that we have the opportunity as individuals to live a life that offers a reflection of evolution to all.
I too was a very anxious person and have been able to heal this by re-connecting with my body and learning to listen and honour what it says. Whenever I am not in my body I can feel the anxiousness wanting to creep back in. When I feel this I know that I need to take responsibility and come back to the body.
Wow Jacqueline, this really does prove that alcohol damages far more than the liver and the brain cells and can keep on causing havoc for generations unless the hurts caused by it are able to be truly looked at. It is like war really, it keeps on damaging for generations after the last bullet is fired. It is strange that such a substance that is so damaging both to the body and to society is widely accepted.
I haven’t had any alcohol for over 15 years now… I was never a heavy drinker, and yet it was definitely a part of my life. I cannot imagine now what would be like to hand myself over to something so insidious and destructive… So such honest and revealing articles as this are sorely needed, and in the education about children such blunt truths need to be told.
Today I know without a doubt that ‘Alcohol is an Evil and Poisonous Substance”, but growing up I certainly was not taught this fact, so I drank, not in great quantities but enough to affect my sense of judgment on many occasions. I would love to have all children taught this at home and at school, but at this point in time with alcohol and alcohol consumption being considered a normal part of society, I feel that unfortunately this lesson is quite a way from being included in any school syllabus.
I like this statement: “Being willing to heal my issues shows my True Commitment To Life, which is True Healing – true healing from alcohol.” From my experience many people that drink are very sensitive people and it could be the case that they use alcohol because there is a feeling of not really knowing how to be being so sensitive, so they reach for the bottle instead. It’s not the answer though… Committing to life is.
How different it feels to look at childhood and relationships with family and know that it is not their fault for how we are, that life is a constant series of choices, and that even what we are born into is a result of an incarnating choice. So when we have a family with certain traits that challenges us the option is there to say, what can I learn from this, what has been presented in front of me from which I can choose to heal what hurts me most deeply.
This morning I heard on UK news that a Mayor somewhere in Australia has banned alcohol after a messy party on the beach a few days ago. I know he will get a lot of stick for this but I say good on him, people need boundaries and need to know itis not acceptable to behave like that.
If more parents heard the truth of what their children see and feel when they drink alcohol, there may be less who consider it to be a normal, harmless activity. Everything we do affects everyone around us, like peeing in the public pool, we all end up swimming in it.
It is the ripple effect that we don’t consider enough when it comes to alcohol. I find this is especially so when alcohol is drunk ‘moderately’ and in a socially acceptable way. It is easy to look at the extremes of alcohol abuse and believe there is no harm when drunk in moderation. But this is only looking surface deep. It does not take into account the energetic ripple effect that occurs when we drink. I recall clearly when I was giving up alcohol how I would not feel like me, even if I had half a glass. Therefore I was not me when I was with other people. I also recall a time when I was miserable but trying to pretend that life, my relationships and the way I was as a mother were ok. I would drink because I was tired and miserable, gave me a sugar hit, it made me feel like there was a moment of relief and it offered an affordable ‘treat’ in my day. Yet this just buried my issues and worsened my health and wellbeing.
The inescapable facts are there …..and yet the culture of binge drinking continues and grows unabated…. has humanity really and truly evolved?
You describe the secondary ripple effects of alcohol abuse so well here, something that is not immediately obvious and I am sure does not get measured when they work out the statistics of what harm it is having on society. Yet if this secondary effect was to be measured as well… the statistics would be even more alarming than they are already.
When I was growing up my parents drank every night, my mother would start in the late afternoon with Vermouth or Sherry and then wine with dinner. If we went out with family and/or friends the adults always drank. I thought this was the norm as I knew no other. So when I was old enough I started drinking Vermouth with my mother, this is what we did together , when I stopped drinking for a while in my 30’s she was most disappointed that we could not ‘enjoy’ a drink together. It totally exposed how little true relationship we had except bonding over Vermouth.
We are harming ourselves holding onto anger at our parents, we need to take responsibility and heal our hurts when we get old enough to, otherwise it just as excuse to blame others and not get on with life.
Jacqueline this is a beautifully clear and powerful sharing, that I know will help many of us to seek support and healing through the wonderful Practitioners at Universal Medicine. To look at the damage done in families because of alcohol will make a difference in the consumption of this poison and seeing the truth of it.
I can relate to so much of what has been shared here. Living withdrawn and totally taken by emotions was my way of trying to dull out life. Everyday I am discovering deeper aspects of myself that ask me to celebrate life and honour myself and this has catapulted me back into life in full.
Both my parents and all their friends drunk regularly and I grew up thinking that was just what you did, little did I know at the time that this was not ‘normal’ and that actually ‘normal’ people did not drink as they were aware how poisonous alcohol is to our system and what a knock on effect alcohol has on the whole community.
With the festive season just around the corner it is interesting to watch many companies and work functions flow out into the street where alcohol is used to unwind, celebrate and welcome the holiday break. The affects of alcohol is quite daunting when we accept this as a societal norm as a way of appreciating the year and our work.
I was the complete opposite to you Jacqueline in that because I didn’t want to, or truly know how to deal with what I was feeling (I didn’t want to feel the misery and lies lived of the people around me) I turned to alcohol at a young age. I feel what you have shared here is key ‘In other words, early on I had fallen into the habit of disconnecting from my body so as to not feel’. When we do not know how to deeply connect with ourselves, listening to and honouring what we feel I feel this throws us off course, we look outside for recognition and acceptance and also react to situations around us instead of learning how to respond. My whole life was a rollercoaster, a yo-yo effect of dramas and emotions and alcohol just made this 100 times worse. I also know that just as you have said if we leave one place to ‘get away’ from things we still take everything with us (emotions, anger, blame) until we choose to completely stop and truly address it, only then will it no longer have a hold over us. Huge thanks and deep appreciation to Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family, Universal Medicine and Universal Medicine Practitioners who have all supported me to let go of all that is not me or not truly supporting me, including alcohol and instead help me to reconnect to with my body building a strong and loving relationship with myself. As you have shared alcohol is a poison and what you have also shown here is the damage and ripple affect alcohol has on others not only the people that are drinking it but how it affects families, friends and even communities.
Alcohol in truth has done absolutely nothing good for our society, apart from being a good anaesthetic for wounds.
“I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself. ” Regardless of our addiction or behaviours, staying present in life is responsible choice. Yet this is not taught anywhere. The presentations by Serge Benhayon have opened my eyes to what is really going on.
So true Elizabeth, and it has taken me a long time to feel safe and to be able to stay with myself, as I had much hardness and protection to clear from my body. This week I have noticed a subtle shift, and after an esoteric session early this morning, I went out to work with the thought; I want to stay with myself, and I got to feel how truly tender and gentle I am and how gorgeous it is to stay with yourself, not imposing on others or trying to change them ( an old habit of mine). Indeed this is gold!
Just this week Mary, I got drawn into some complication and drama for exactly that reason; people who drink heavily have been taken over and are not in control any more of what they say and of their actions, and I went into reaction….. an automatic response of mine which only caused me more stress! Afterwards I sat and pondered why, in which a lot of sadness came up for me to feel, and what gets in the way every time is that you don’t expect people who are close to you to hurt you. If I bring it back to myself, I have to look at my investment to understand why I go into reaction, that’s where I am at.
From your blog Jaqueline I can feel the extent that alcohol within the family affected your life. As children we are incredibly sensitive and aware of everything and it is quite a shock to see how people, especially our parents can change when they start to drink.. It makes sense to me that trust became an issue, when we see our parents behaving differently and for some children abusively, this creates confusion and a hurt for something we have yet to fully understand.
Trust became a big issue all my life Alison, as I kept a safe distance from people in the belief that I would not be hurt further…… this just complicated my life and I was unable to let people in and struggled to communicate and connect with people, thus I always felt alone. And still when I feel hurt by others, the thought comes in; ‘just leave me alone’ and I want to shut down. Is a work in process for me to choose not to shut myself down because of others actions, but the awareness is there that it is my choice!
Jacqueline, a revealing story that shows how the harming effects of alcohol can spill down the generations.
What is shared here from a child’s perspective when they see another turn to alcohol and the changes they notice is gold and of great value. This needs to be openly talked about more. Thank you Jacqueline for starting the conversation.
This is a great sharing exposing the harm that can be caused when you choose irresponsibility over a willingness to commit to addressing the disharmony in your life. Whether it is through alcohol or emotions, tv or medication, we cannot escape what needs healing… and if we choose to ignore it, it is only a matter of time before our body lovingly reminds us of what needs to be done.
And how extraordinary that, given how millions of people around the world observe the effects of alcohol daily , it still continues to flow like a turgid river through the centre of our society.
Alcohol has a hold on us, it’s part of our national identity, how sad is that! When we clearly see the destruction it causes both physically and mentally, not to mention the load on the body and the ill effects, even with all of this evidence it’s still a ‘ no go zone ‘ with many it’s sacrosanct. But the big one you have exposed Jacqueline is the harmful energetic impact that is beyond the scope of any statistics because we are all open to being affected, everyone of us.
The use of alcohol is attributed to so much harm – fights at bars and clubs, road accidents, accidents generally, domestic violence, liver and other damage to the physical body, depression…and the list goes on. And yet, despite all of this, it is marketed in a way that makes it look like it brings people together, when in fact, it does the exact opposite. The togetherness seen when alcohol is consumed is an illusion – there is no connection between people, simply a coming together for the same purpose of escaping reality.
Alcohol is such a part of our society, yet we do attribute it to so much domestic violence and abuse, that it is quite weird that we still hold it so dear to celebrations, even championing it. There is so much of a negative and detrimental effect on those who choose to make it there everyday life. When is it we will look at alcohol through the lens of more honesty and see it for what it really is doing in our society.
A great sharing about the effects if alcohol more broadly on a whole family unit and in particular for me the relationship between anxiousness, not feeling safe and giving up on life. It is very sad that a lifestyle choice has had such a cascading detrimental effect on so many people and it is still so culturally acceptable.
If everyone could simply see… Reflect upon, and truly observe what does happen when alcohol is consumed then the world would really be a different place
Coming back to this blog and re-reading my previous comment I have since moved into my own flat with a friend. First time not living with anyone of my blood family. That ‘be on guard at home’ protection was very strong and noticeable at the start and was the creator of dynamics that were not appropriate in our relationship as they never originated from me and her but started with family, but ultimately it started within myself (in this life at least because what if previous lives relationship quality can be carried on or fallen back onto? ) Opening myself up to feeling the situation now has allowed me to feel that moments can and do change and we are never static or stuck – only if we choose to not be aware of what is up to date.
Hi Jacqueline, your article contains some very real points, not only on the harm of alcohol but also how sensitive children are.
Thank you Jacqueline for sharing this powerful and very honest story about the true harm of alcohol and the effect on you as a child and how this affected you through to your adult years. Sadly this is a very common story amongst many people, as the acceptance of drinking large amounts of alcohol has become the ‘norm’ in society. Crazy that alcohol has become so ‘normal’ yet the true damage of this poison is swept under the carpet, hopefully before too long we will see more people such as you have and communities everywhere standing up for the truth about alcohol much like they did with smoking many years ago – and then we will begin to see a true change.
Jacqueline, you really expose how far reaching the damage of alcohol to our society is, there are so many aspects beyond the obvious health risk we put ourselves in. To look at the whole emotional impact is huge and broadens the picture, if we allow ourselves to be aware of what alcohol does to our children, partners, colleagues, friends and other people around us there is no way we can keep supporting this substance, much less drink it.
I am so grateful to myself that I was honest enough to go there and really notice the effects of alcohol and what it was having on my mental and physical health. Many in society are not having that conversation yet for our own health and wellbeing it is a conversation that needs to be started.
The more of us that share our stories about the ripple effects of Alcohol, the better. Alcohol is the most socially acceptable damaging substance on earth and there for in my opinion is the most dangerous, not because its worse than hard illegal drugs but because most of us think its a natural part of life and growing up, that is the insidiousness of its orientation.
It’s so true Jacqueline anger is the total opposite of love and is a very destructive emotion that opens the door to a range and cascade of other equally damaging emotions that not only storm through our bodies but equally wreaks havoc on the world around us.
A deeply personal account of the emotional ‘damage’ that can be caused down the generations around alcohol – whether as a user or a bystander – and that behind it all is in fact a decommitting from life and from ourselves.
‘Being willing to heal my issues shows my True Commitment To Life, which is True Healing’. I love your words here Jacqueline as they bring an interesting angle to redefining what committing to life actually looks like. It poses the question that maybe a successful life is not all about accumulating accolades and possessions but rather living in a way that supports us to heal all our hurts so we can master our relationship with ourselves and then as a ripple effect we are able to support others to do the same.
The normalisation of alcohol in our society is killing us individually and in our families. It is incredible that as a society that we can justify drinking a poison and actually make it part of our everyday lives. It is poisoning us physically and emotionally. Thank you Jacqueline for sharing your story as this highlights the insidious damage that can be done to many people when a society turns a blind eye to truth.
When we choose ignorance over truth, it sets the path one will walk, and that is the path of comfort, indulgence and irresponsibility. The shift happens when we have had enough of this old un-serving path that keeps us stuck and in the same place, and instead seek truth. When we seek truth, we are ready to take responsibility, it then becomes much easier to make different lifestyle choices.
Thank you Jacqueline for the brave sharing around your awareness and experience. I didn’t grow up with alcohol in my family which has been a real blessing, as when it came to peer pressure time, I found it quite easy to say no to. However, this does not mean that I have not experienced much of what you have. The checking out came in different forms, and like you I’ve lived a life of anxiety and emotional drama. Much more on top of things now as I heal my hurts slowly and learn that there is no one to blame and that I am actually perfectly ok as I am.
Yes Elodie, this is the way forward when we are committed to healing our hurts, we stop blaming others, namely our parents, and we start living a much more honest life. And in this honesty, we get to see how much we abuse and hurt ourselves, as well as all others.
‘Healing my issues has healed my anxiousness. ‘ this particular line stood out for me Jacqueline in what you shared, as I could feel the truth that when we take true responsibility for the choices we make in life we have an amazing ability to heal. As someone who has lived with anxiousness and been surrounded by many who have suffered from anxiety, I can see how clearly it is a choice we make, one where we disconnect from our bodies and our love and go into the head. The moment we step back, connect and feel from our body the moment we can truly begin to live in a way where anxiousness is not us, but is just a sign we have disconnected from the love that we so naturally are.
Jacqueline what you share, the real impact of alcohol and how this affects entire families shows us that just because something is legal does not mean it is safe or healthy to do. As kids I also remember noticing how adults would change when they drank alcohol. I said I would never drink yet along the way I lost my truth, that which was there untarnished and chose to drink and also indulge in all the emotions you speak about. That became normal, the anger, the ups and the downs – yet as a kid I didn’t have that – I felt at ease with myself, whilst I could also sense what was not right that was outside of me. Your post has really helped me appreciate that fact that as a child we are naturally wise and if a child would not drink alcohol then why would we choose to grow up and become less wise?
Beautiful sharing David, and yes you are so right when you say that as children we are already wise and all knowing, and a child would not drink alcohol and a loving parent would not allow their children alcohol, but we adults like to think we are so clever but actually we fool ourselves when we say things like; a drink helps me relax after a busy and stressful day’, or it is the only pleasure I have and so on….. but all we are doing is choosing to stay in our comfort and ignorance.
Reading this again today Jacqueline has brought about an amazing insight for me to reflect upon. How that even not being a drinker but being amongst those that do partake and how this false belief that alcohol relaxes you, de-stresses and all the other false ideals/beliefs that are attached to this ‘evil’ liquid can effect so many. It brings me to the point of children being the ones that are primarily targeted leaving them with so much to have to deal with later in life. Your journey has been an amazing one and for that I thank you for sharing with us. It is truly inspirational.
The rippling effects of alcohol spread much further and have longer lasting effects than we all realise. Your experience as a small child is powerful – your fragility, confusion and loss of the loving environment influenced many of the years to come. The choice to separate from who you truly are, did not solve any of the issues you were faced with, it only served to confirm the isolation and feeling of being unsafe. This has allowed me to ponder what it must be like for little ones living with alcohol and abuse – going from the warmth and love when born into an alien space devoid of security, consistency and safety. When we do not take responsibility for how we live our lives the harm we initiate flows unchecked and sets up patterns of hurt, which go on to breed further hurt. How is it that we do not stop to question the poisoning effects of what we put into your bodies? It is beautiful to read how this all changed with the choice to look at your life and to choose love by choosing to take responsibility. The life you are now experiencing allows loves rippling effect to now be the way – inspiring. Thank you Jacqueline
Alcohol is a dangerous substance. Not only is it a poison to the body, but it has been glorified as a solution to fix problems, calm people down and even have ‘healthy side effects’. But the truth is, it damages us. It takes us away from who we are. Someone might choose to change everything else in their diet – eat healthy, cut out wheat and dairy, reduce salt and sugar, cut out caffeine – and still choose to drink alcohol on occasion. But unless we are willing to look at the whole picture, then we are just using one substance to make up for not having another. Alcohol can be used as a comfort, and society is not willing to see how dangerous it is. This is a great blog on what is truly behind drinking.
Yes alcohol is used by many for comfort, also to numb oneself so as not to face yourself, face all our past choices and come to the raw truth which is; everything that has happened in your life (problems and challenges/difficulties) has been self-created. However, when we reach a point in life and realise we have had enough of this way of life, that is the irresponsibility that we ourselves have chosen, then we can begin to get honest with ourselves. Through being honest we begin to transform our lives.
My parents did drink but not everyday, and I very rarely saw them intoxicated. I never could understand the need to drink to be socially acceptable, nor how others found it funny to either be blind drunk or see their friends that way! Some people would boast about this as well . I did drink to be sociable but not to get intoxicated to the point of being sick, once was enough and my drink was tampered with on another occasion ,both in my early twenties. Giving up drinking in my late forties because I couldn’t see the point in it, and didn’t enjoy it so by the time I came to Universal Medicine I had not been drinking socially for many years. I feel saddened to see the extent of the destruction young people put themselves through, to the point of serious injury, where will it end? Adults need to be an example but unfortunately many don’t love themselves or their bodies enough to be so.
I agree Roslyn adults do need to be an example but first they have to deal with all their accumulated hurts, for the many reasons people may give for drinking, as long as we are not dealing with our issues/hurts we are drinking to drown them….. so as not to feel them. Once we start to heal our stuff, take responsibility for our lives (past choices) we no longer need the alcohol or stimulants of our choice, they begin to drop away.
Whatever way a hurt is expressed, be it suppressed through drinking alcohol or let out in an outburst of anger and hate, the hurt all the same is the underlying fuel which separates and divides all of humanity. Healing our hurts is the only way forward for us all. It is then that the outer experiences of life will truly change for the better
It has been around 8 years that I have not drunk alcohol and in this time I have been clearly able to see the deeply disturbing effects that it has on us and society. In the future it will be known to all what a poison this substance truly is.
I feel this to be true and I know this to be true. Recently I arrived in a social situation and the first thing someone -who I know well- said, was something mean. I was surprised and I’d only just stepped in the door so it was unexpected. Then I realised that everyone had had a drink. This changes everything, no matter who is drinking, there will always be something that comes at you in an unpleasant way in that situation.
It is so common for the average social occasion to contain drink or drugs, it is really telling of where we are at as a society when it is looked upon as odd or weird if you don’t drink.
Thanks for sharing Jacqueline with such honesty. Your story really highlights just how intergenerational the effects of anything that causes dis-ease in someone is across not just their lifespan, but following generations also. The responsibility to really look at this is something that few are willing to recognise but definitely need to be talked about more if we are to see any change in the drug and alcohol culture (amongst many other things) that currently widely exists.
There was a time in my life when I couldn’t even imagine myself not drinking, it was such a huge part of my life. This is very much the norm for most of society today, it has to be a part of an event or celebration. But I now live a life that when I go along to events with many of my friends, it is alcohol free, we have deeply rich and fulfilling conversations, truly connecting with each other. It is a far cry from the days when I would crave the connection with others, thinking it was going to get better, feel better the more I drank….not true. The more connected I am with myself, I don’t need stimulants such as alcohol at an event or to celebrate.
Alcohol is definitely on the increase, this week’s news stated how it is causing an additional strain on Accident and Emergency services within the NHS. Alcohol is becoming a substance that is used by teenagers for a high, and is often the start before they turn to drugs in order to get their high. Misuse of Alcohol is destroying our friends and family.
I totally agree Sally “Misuse of Alcohol is destroying our friends and family” it is destroying our society the drinking culture sets us up for more mental health problems, more violence, more sexual assault, more abuse, more crime not to mention the devastating effects it has on our physical health. It is about time we start to address this growing epidemic.
‘I had no addiction to alcohol, yet here I was with all these raging emotions controlling me and keeping me disconnected from my body. I was no different to my parents’. The how or why we disconnect from our body and being does not matter for there is an infinite number of ideals, beliefs, behaviours and patterns that we can get caught up in which instigates and feeds this disconnection. A disconnection that effectively keeps us separated from our own self and all others. We can therefore have no judgment of the why we and others disconnect, only a responsibility to let go of what is preventing us from reconnecting back to ourselves and in that re-connection be the inspiration for others to do the same. Loves truth is the foundation that we can all do this with.
Multiply this by millions and millions of children, and the devastating effect of alcohol will be felt in its enormity… And this would seem, and is really, overwhelming to the point of hopelessness, but as with so many things, change happens with individuals, and from then society can change.
“Change happens with individuals, and from then society can change” so well said Chris I know from not drinking for many years that my friends and family have been inspired by the changes I made and some have also given up drinking or have started drinking less. It is important that we break the illusion that is is ‘normal’ to drink as we know this normal is killing us and deeply harming society.
It is interesting how normal or common it is to turn to alcohol as a remedy for not being able to cope with the stresses and pressures of life. But the enormous harm and damage that alcohol clearly does to the human body only serves to put us under even more stress which is not very supportive at all, so why do we do it?
When we truly listen, cherish, honour and love our body, it is impossible to than abuse it in anyway with harmful substances. From choosing to live embracing love and truth everything unloving will dissipate naturally and effortlessly because being loving is our natural way and our only way, leading us to harmony.
I have realised we can be addicted to anything. Addiction is basically running away from our responsibilities. Not willing to look at our choices or commit to life when we have an addictive behaviour.
Alcohol is a poison for sure, your blog Jacqueline reveals the deep harm this substance causes. Even though you were not addicted to alcohol the side effects stay with you for most of your life. The damage alcohol has on our lives ripples out and it’s not just physically but energetically harming us all. Why I say ‘us all’ it is because we are all deeply connected, we live in the same plane of life we are all part of the whole. Our choices affect us and others too. This blog clearly spells this out.
Your blog gives us a great overview of the effects of drinking alcohol and the damage it causes; extremely significant damage on all levels. You have presented informative knowledge and very wise reflections; thank you Jaqueline. The consumption of alcohol is a scourge on our society, when will we collectively wake up!
I was a solid drinker for twenty years and I dred to think the harm I caused not only to myself but others.
Thank you for honestly sharing Joe. We can clear our past choices by choosing to accept and look at them honestly and openly, and start to make more loving choices. From living with love and truth, our past choices will be cleared. What matters is what we choose now, in every moment of our everyday, we can constantly be aware of our choices, are they loving or harming?
So true Chan Ly, ‘living with love and truth, our past choices will be cleared’….and our Karma because when we start living love and truth to the best of our ability, this provides a loving reflection for all others which provides a new choice for others, that they can return to love too if they so chose….such is the power of our reflections.
You only have to collectively look at the statistics of alcohol related presentations to the Emergency Departments and ward admissions of any hospital to confirm that alcohol does not in anyway support our overall health and well being and is an undeniable drain on our valuable health dollar and the limited resources of the health care system. Add to this the social implications and issues of alcohol abuse and its ripple effect in our homes, workplaces and society and the mind just boggles. What I don’t understand is why in the big picture alcohol is still promoted as supportive for our heart function when surely the accumulated physical, mental and social destruction it causes far outweighs any study that states it protects the heart. Is alcohol really that good for the heart if it has caused and continues to cause so much heartache and destruction to our bodies, our relationships and society at large?? Surely in this day and age there are an abundance other ways to support our heart function that is far more loving and supportive for our hearts and the prevention of heart conditions than just alcohol.
‘But looking back it feels like I had never truly left my parents’ house because wherever I went my emotions followed me.’ Our emotions and hurts can easily accumulate to become patterns and habitual reactions to the world around us if we don’t let go of them. These emotions can be constantly fed by the memories of these past hurtful experiences and when our present experiences correlate and remind us of these unresolved hurts, they effectively expose and target these weak spots and continually knock us off balance. Thus our hurts only get more confirmed and our patterns even more reinforced and ingrained. When you look at it like this if we allow any emotional reactions and hurts to remain unresolved they will definitely follow us wherever we go until we heal them just as they did with you Jacqueline.
Its a really interesting to look at emotions in this way Toni as the addiction we can have to emotions and drama and their highs and lows is a very destructive one indeed.
One day in the future they will look back our alcohol consumption and see if for the absolute craziness it is. It will be clearly seen for devastation it causes and Just how we once thought the world was flat, the lie that alcohol is good for you even in moderation will be exposed.
I agree with you Samantha, as everything has its time and with more and more people saying no to alcohol has a ripple effect on those close to us….and yes it may be a long road still to travel but it starts with every single person who chooses differently.
Thanks Jacqueline for detailing the far reaching effects of alcohol, the worst aspect of alcohol consumption is that it is so socially accepted and encouraged.
A powerful article Jacqueline that reminds us of the devastating affects alcohol has on the families of those drinking it, and how it “…robs us of everything that is pure and innocent and divine.”
I still have moments that I just stop and appreciate myself for making the choice to stop drinking alcohol over 4 years ago. It is one of the most loving choices I have made in my life and I enjoy the effect of this choice every single day.
Same here Mariette, making the choice to stop drinking alcohol is something to truly appreciate. And like yourself I too enjoy the benefits.
What struck me most when reading your story Jacqueline was how four generations in your family had been affected by your parents’ drinking. The sad thing is they were trapped in the illusion that they were doing their ‘best’ and would have been devastated had they really seen the truth of the damage caused as a result of their choices.
This is so true Tamara. As a society we choose to not see or be accountable for the long term effects of alcohol as many see it as being “normal” so it is okay. Jacqueline’s story highlights how when we are unable to be self loving that we look for something to fill that emptiness and in this case it was alcohol. The price paid for this choice was very high for many people.
That is the sad thing Tamara, this is so true, my parents (and all others) are trapped in the illusion that they were doing their best…. and would be shocked and horrified if they really knew the truth of the damage and long term effects that alcohol causes.
‘Alcohol misuse costs England around £21bn per year in healthcare, crime and lost productivity costs’, I got this piece of information from a website called Alcohol Concern. £21bn per year is a phenomenal amount of money, that the tax payers and businesses have to pay out every year. It makes me wonder where will it end, how bad does it have to get before people admit that something has to be done.
It wasn’t that long ago that cigarettes were considered cool and look how the attitudes have changed – it seems to me that it is time alcohol was officially classed as a poison, along with cigarettes.
Absolutely Julie the cost to our health care system is crippling. We are a nation not taking responsibility for our actions and this impacting everywhere.
What a powerful sharing Jacqueline. I will definitely come back and reread your sharing, because it contains so much. At this point in time I just want to relate to one sentence “In other words, early on I had fallen into the habit of disconnecting from my body so as to not feel the effects my parents”. I know exactly what you are talking about, I was also very good at disconnecting from my body. When I did it, it felt terrible, I was not at home. In the separation to myself I felt very anxious and insecure, which created a big need to protect myself. And thanks to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I started to reconnect to my body, a journey of healing started.
It’s the simple statement that we actually stop being ourselves when we drink alcohol that is so significant, and it is sold in every town often on every street corner…. What does that say about our society.
Thank you Jacqueline for exposing further the damaging effects of alcohol on as as people and as families. The damaging effects of alcohol are not hard to see, we just need to choose to see them and then choose not to have that as part of our society. Currently many are still in denial to the true effects of alcohol in the body, as it is more convenient to not ‘know’ than have the tension of knowing, and still continuing to consume it. Alcohol is a class 1 carcinogen, and feels horrible to drink. Our body knows it, and the science clearly shows that alcohol is not a part of true wellbeing for anyone. It is definitely time to get real with alcohol, as the damage it does is clearly displayed here, and this is so not ok.
Thank you for this heart felt blog Jacqueline. Alcohol is made out to be so glamorous, and we are encouraged to pretend that it does not affect us, what a lie! If a beautiful innocent child never knows when their parents are going to transform with rowdy explosions of emotion, no wonder they develop debilitating life long anxiousness. It has also been my experience that the emotional side effects ripple through generations.
I was a beautiful innocent child who then developed a debilitating life long anxiousness, (that affected every area of my life) perfectly summed up Bernard! It has taken me a long time to come back to: I Am Innocent. But well worht the effort.
Alcohol was a huge part of my life. In fact in my 20s I remember thinking when I was on holiday in Holland with my boyfriend at the time…..’what would you do if you didn’t drink?’ I couldn’t come up with an answer, because drinking was so ingrained in my life, how I socialised, where I socialised and with whom. It is strange for me to think back about that now, as I have not drunk alcohol for almost 6 years now and it is the complete opposite. I can’t imagine my life ‘with’ alcohol in it. It is so foreign to think of what it would feel like, I love how my body is and not feeling swayed or lured to enjoin with everyone else at a social event or get together. It feels empowering to make the choice to be loving and honouring.
Jacqueline it is great that you have stood up against alcohol and stated the harm that it causes beyond what people consider or dare take responsibility for. Alcohol and the damage it causes is like a cancer, poisoning our world and the relationships we have with ourselves and those around us… and yet it’s use is considered ‘normal’ as if normal somehow makes it okay.
So true Jacqueline, alcohol is more a social problem than an individual problem.
You described how debilitating it is to a sensitive child to find their normally loving parents faces distort, and become aggressive when partaking in alcohol. From the perspective of a child the people that you love and respect the most can transform into unpredictable monsters, it’s like living in a horror movie. No wonder children shut down and abandon their loving playful way.
Your story made me ponder on my time in the military. Alcohol was a crucial part of daily life. If one looks at the history of wars alcohol was the fluid that lubricated the war machine. When there are no wars there was always ‘we work hard and play harder’. Alcohol and cigarettes were tax and duty free so price was never a problem. After every war game exercise or inspection, a celebration was held with copious amounts of free drinks. The days of rum rations on ships has never ended… but many families’ have. Because of the steeped tradition of alcohol and war, one numbs you to do the other and often interchangeable. Neither one is normal.
Alcohol has far reaching effects, way beyond the localised destruction of the health and wellbeing of the drinker. it is hard to accept the damage done to everyone yet we see it all the time. I appreciated your story Jaqueline, and the responsibility you have taken for your own part in your commitment to life. Wherever we find ourselves there is great empowerment in taking responsibility for our reactions and our choices about how we live.
Alcohol is indeed very harming, and definitely undersold in this regard.
When you consider everything you describe Jacqueline, and what may have continued to occur if you had not found Universal Medicine, you start to get a true picture of the absolute devastation that alcohol has on us all. You put to bed completely any idea that we are ok if we do not drink.
Joseph, I have considered this, and I know for sure, I would not be a functional member of society with very little or nothing to contribute and possibly became very sick due to staying in my hardness, with no awareness of how hard I had made my body and with no awarness of how to truly heal…. had I not met Serge Benhayon. Does not bear thinking about!
Jacqueline thank you for sharing your story. It is amazing how insidious the affect alcohol has on families even when you don’t drink yourself. It alters the whole atmosphere of the home and brings fear into the lives of children with the unpredictability of the effects on parents or others who may be drinking it. Therefore breaking down the harmony and love that may normally be there. Alcohol poisons all areas of life.
So true Roslyn. Alcohol poisons the person who then walks this poison into all areas of their life.
This article has brought incredible revelations to me..”In other words, early on I had fallen into the habit of disconnecting from my body so as to not feel the effects my parents drinking alcohol and the drama and emotions had on me. That is how I lived for the next 40 or so years of my life.” I can so relate to what you have experienced. I did not realise the many points you have raised that I have buried about my own life experience growing up in a household with alcohol.
The Financial Times’ agony aunt recently ran a reader’s question: ‘I don’t drink but my colleagues do. What do I do?’ About a third of respondents (other readers) recommended that he start drinking.
After about 70 comments not a single contribution stated the obvious: Alcohol is a poison.
Alcohol is not just harming us directly. It seems to seriously befuddle our thinking even when sober.
‘It seems to seriously befuddle our thinking even when sober’, so thick is the consciousness around alcohol Christoph.
I didn’t drink as a teenager but in my twenties I sure did give it a red hot go. Then in my thirties a relationship that I was very attached to ended and a main part of the reason was alcohol. Soon after attending Universal Medicine events I stopped drinking but my relationship with alcohol is still continuing to this day. I blame alcohol and I have anger towards alcohol for it affected my relationship. Thank you Jacqueline for making me aware of the after affects of alcohol. I know by having these emotions I make people in my presence if they are drinking uncomfortable. If I choose to be with my loving self when they drink they would be feeling a different energy, one that may make them aware of how alcohol feels in their own body, rather than being pushed in the wrong direction by my emotions.
I agree Lindell, because I have observed it is always from the emotions that I have reacted.
I’ve been through different stages in my life with alcohol. Like most Australian boys I first experimented with it in my early teens. Even though it always left me feeling absolutely terrible physically and emotionally about myself – something in me over rode what I had to have realised was not good for me. My parents and all my parents friends drank at every social occasion be it at home at a BBQ with the neighbors or out for a dress up dinner.
All my friends started drinking, and by the time I was 17 – still under the legal age – drinking was a regular part of my life.
That continued until well into my late 20’s when, due to realising that I was really not in great shape even though I was not really any worse off than any one I knew and by many standards still within the ” healthy” and ” normal” range, I decided to give drinking a rest for a while I stopped drinking for about 6 months.
After a break I went back to drinking again. And did s for a few years.
Then I decided to give it a rest again. This time it lasted abut a year.
Then I went back to being a gentler drinker than I had been in the past.
After a few years of this, now in my mid 30’s I just really know that I felt much better in the times I did not drink.
Even as I drank less and less – I still just felt worse and worse each time I drank.
I am 42 now.
I haven’t had a drink for about 6 years or so.
It really is not something I miss and the way that I feel assures me that i really would never choose to have a drink again.
There really is no point to it at all.
Love your blog!
This is how it is Simon, we grow up seeing our parents drink, and the parents of our friends, at all the thousands of social occasions we attend during our childhood. Thus we learn as children that drinking alcohol is normal and acceptable. Well before the time we are adults, we have accumulated our own hurts and like everyone else around us it is then so easy to use alcohol as a distraction not to feel those hurts, and round and round we go, going no-where, until you have the good fortune to meet someone like Serge Benhayon who tells it as it is.
Great honest sharing Jacqueline of the harmful effects of alcohol on others, and how it affected you.
I could relate to all that you said- being scared as a child, feeling unloved, the house feeling cold and unsafe, and not really knowing my parents when they drank. They were not themselves – very reactive, aggressive, impatient, controlling. My father was scary. My way of coping was to harden my body, speak only when spoken to, hold my emotions in, and leave my body. I lived in constant anxiousness. I learnt to be the “good girl” growing up.
As a teenager I was very angry towards my parents and blamed them for how I felt. I disconnected from life- I didn’t want to be here. All these emotions stayed with me into my adult life, but I suppressed them with food, and distractions. It was not until I met Serge Benhayon at Universal medicine and had healing sessions from esoteric practitioners that my life changed. By reconnecting to me- my body first, then inner heart I realised that I too had been addicted to emotions letting them run my life, even though I didn’t drink alcohol.
And the deepest sadness I feel now whilst I read this blog is the knowing of how I kept myself so distant from the real me- pure innocence, tenderness and divine beauty.
Thank you Loretta for all you have shared, we could have lived in the same house. Like you my way of coping was too harden so as not to feel how unsafe I felt. Like you I only started to heal and clear my past when I met Serge Benhayon and attending his courses 4 years ago. And it does not heal overnight, it takes time. Only yesterday I discovered actually how harming it is for my body as another layer of hardness was released and somehow it shocked me. I did struggle for a bit, but as soon as I surrendered it felt like a big slab of hardness melted – left me feeling very tender and delicate as a deepening took place. The shock is perhaps around realising how much I have harmed myself, my body while always believing I was protecting myself.
What an awesome blog Jacqueline, thank you for sharing your story, as you absolutely show two things here… the poisonous effects and impact alcohol has on the person drinking as well as on those who choose not to drink but are in company of those drinking, and how the emotional reaction to life, people and love had an effect on your body and personal health. Reclaiming that innate sense and reconnection to yourself shows how much this is great medicine for the body. Thank you for sharing.
Jacqueline, I find drinking stops real interactions and distorts the truth. It creates disharmony and logic is not present. It allows irresponsibility in our actions and behaviours. I can relate how children don’t feel safe when their parents are drinking alcohol. As an adult, I too don’t feel safe.
This feeling of not feeling safe can be so easily triggered at any time. Only last week I felt unsafe at work, and when this feeling gets triggered I am completely lost as it feels like I am back in my childhood, vulnerable, feeling very insecure and and just wanting to hide. Simply I lose connection with my innermost, and then can become very hard not to feel how unsafe I feel and from this space I react. However, this time, I observed I did not react, which was huge for me, and with all the support I received which I asked for, I could reconnect and come back to my innermost a lot quicker than I have ever done!
Hi Jane, great what you point out here about the ‘secondary effects’ of alcohol. Let alone how destructive it is to live in a family where one person drinks massively or regulary. Fortunately my parents did not drink, but could observe through the years how alcohol destroyed families and marriages. And these secondary effects are carried out to the society, as it is never a poblem which only affects oneself or the nearest. It is always a community problem, many feel plagued with it, but rarely someone openly addresses it. It is taken as an habitual evil.
This is a powerful exposure of the lasting harm that is caused by alcohol and particularly where you say “I had no addiction to alcohol, yet here I was with all these raging emotions controlling me and keeping me disconnected from my body. I was no different to my parents.” This demonstrates a very sad inheritance we can pass to our children and our children’s children when we abuse our bodies with alcohol.
Perhaps when there is more awareness and exposure around the damage alcohol causes to our children, and the long lasting effects more responsibility will be taken because as you mentioned Mary it is a very sad inheritance we pass on to our children and our children’s children.
Wow, I love the strength and honesty in your blog – it really exposes alcohol for what it is, no excuses and all. But there is so much more in your blog that I can relate to and feel inspired to explore further, because even though my parents were not drinking all these issues were still part of my childhood.
My house was similar Jacquiline… Though ive hardly thought about the effects it has had on me… As a child And teenager I use to have uncontrollable emotional outbursts to, now I have a home that is alcohol free however, I do not and I find it much easier to live. I remember my home that had alchohol did use to feel cold as well and foggy compared to a place without it. Great read, interesting things to note…
What I observe is that for most of the young people these days it is about partying and drinking. I can feel the impact it has onto their life and to their bodies, from ignoring that alcohol is damaging. It seems to me that this behaviour is publicly normal and everywhere in the supermarket available here in Germany. Drinking is normal. I am just questioning the whole health system then and why should we get health insurance when we willingly put our health to risk with alcohol, how can a health system in a country allow this behaviour? Drinking alcohol should be treated like drugs – as a crime that supports criminal acts and aggressive behaviours in people. Even in small social amounts.
I was brought up with alcohol being a normal part of life. To have chosen to stop drinking it all together was bigger for other people around me than myself, the problem was dealing with other people’s reactions.
So true Matthew, alcohol is seen as a normal part of life and it seems that we do not want to see all the damage alcohol is causing. Reading this blog showed me that even when you choose to not drink when you have seen the devastating effect with your family the influence goes on in generation by choosing to disconnect in some other way. I never had considered this Jacqueline. Thank your for your honest and very powerful sharing.
This blog is obviously about alcohol and it’s abuse – but the other thing that really hit home for me is how it talks about not actually being free of the emotions we take on as a result of things.
” I left home at 17, but looking back it feels like I had never truly left my parents’ house because wherever I went my emotions followed me”.
Wow – that knocked me for 6. I remember when I realised that all my angst, rebellion and anger as a teenager, the lifestyle I thought I was choosing to prove to the world that I was free and not the slave of all the things that were being imposed on me at home or school or the way the world expects teenage boys to be- were actually the very things that were imprisoning me. I think i was in my late twenties or early thirties and I was still living with those ideals and reactions. the strongest prison is that of those who think they are free.
HI Simon, yes all those emotions and rebellion keep us imprisoned for when we are truly free, there is nothing to prove, no trying and no doing, only being and living our true selves, which I feel we both have come to realise….
Alcohol is a tool to wage a war against oneself. The use of the word war is not coincidence. On the contrary, it permits to make sense that the effects of alcohol and war persist in those that were somehow victims of either. We learn to survive in a hostile environment. To do so we learn to avoid feeling what is out there. We disconnect from our body. From there everything goes down the hill for us even if we do not realise.
Yes Eduardo, alcohol is a tool to wage a war or a ongoing battle with ourselves, and perhaps is the most difficult battle to fight, because we are never going to win as long as we are figthing with ourselves, with others and the world. When we give up the fight, is when grace enters our lives, and in this grace we are supported to ‘surrender’, surrender and let go of all the falseness, ideals, beliefs and expectations from others especailly family, and in doing so, we are able to walk baby steps back to our natural beauty, innocence, joy and stillness, where only love exists. It is a choice in every moment to surrender and accept…..that which we truly are.
Thanks for sharing. I still experience anger when others close to me drink, mostly because I have interpreted that they don’t want to be with the real me and want to be checked out from the alcohol instead. Thanks for sharing that you were mostly angry because you chose to leave you innocent, sweet and divine self. This has been a big issue for me because I clearly feel the effects of alcohol, even though I don’t drink myself. Me being angry though doesn’t help the situation. I guess its all part of me learning to accept others choices and that there are reasons why people drink. I’m not in any way condoning the use of alcohol. Using food and watching movies to forget about something is the exact same thing as why people drink alcohol. There is an underlying need for connection and harmony between people.
Hi Harrison, thank you for your share. I know all about the anger, and in that anger I blamed my mother. I have found that before we can accept the choices of others, we have to accept our own choices first…. when we accept the choices we made, this provides understanding which allows people to be where they are at, and there is no more anger.
I was having a conversation with someone the other day about alcohol and anxiety. We both shared that when we used to drink, our levels of anxiety the following day were increased – sometimes dramatically so.
I know what you mean Libby…..I also noticed the day after when I used to drink I would feel so sad.
It is this statement “It was like at any stage, depending on when they felt like drinking, I would no longer have my parents,” That is the most telling. What parent would knowingly afflict this on their children, and yet it is happening in millions and millions of households, and everywhere the governments make billions out of the taxes on alcohol. Something is certainly is “rotten in the state of Denmark”
A powerful reread Jacqueline. I could so relate to the emotional residue of our childhood experiences that must be healed for us to connect to true love that we are as you have so beautifully expressed here. It was a light bulb moment when you mentioned not really leaving home because you took the emotions with you. Very powerful in increasing my understanding of my self.
Emotional and physical addictions were part of the everyday in my life, it was normal to drink and go through ups and downs highs and lows. That’s the roller coaster life is …. I thought …. until I came to Universal Medicine and realised my true nature is not to live the ‘norm’ but choose differently and there life can be free of addictions … which is true freedom.
Thank you Jacqueline, so true how we can play out emotional addictions in reaction to others physical ones, such as with alcohol. Perhaps even more destructive is when we play out others emotional ones – taking on sadness for example – reactions upon reactions creating a world where distraction and numbness are the norm. Without meeting Serge Benhayon, I would be one of many feeling that things weren’t right, and trying to come up with answers when the true way to live was there within us all along.
The impact of alcohol is huge and having parents that drink is sadly a norm in society. To grow up and relate to being at home, being with family, being with our mother/father or both with feelings of tension, stress, lack of safety and warmth then would we not take that into all future situations of being at home (our own or anothers) and being with family? I would say that has been the case for me as I come back to read this blog once again. Having lived my younger years in a tense and hard way it’s like once the tension and hardness factor has left there is an uncertainty that the danger is truly gone for good, so we continue to protect just in case. That just in case guard is a killer because it doesn’t allow for change and it clouds us from seeing that change has occurred or has the potential to occur should we be willing to drop the guard and be the love that we are that can say that nothing is fixed in place. Thank you for this Jacqueline.
Lovely sharing Leigh and a lovely reminder that indeed; ‘nothing is fixed in place’.
This is a great blog Jacqueline, demonstrating the many damaging effects of alcohol , not only the drinker but also those around the drinker that also have to suffer from its effects. Its like alcohol has these far reaching tentacles that flail out from the abuser or the user to reek as much damage as possible.
The way you describe the long-lasting effects of alcohol and the behavioural changes, and all this even though you were not drinking yourself, is very telling and a real eye opener – there is, after all, such a thing as ‘passive drinking’.
Hello Jacqueline, this is a deeply touching story and an amazing guide for us all with anything we are holding onto. To see how you have transformed your life from what you were holding is truly amazing. This gives anyone that is still carrying their childhood with them a way to see it differently. There is a great power in self responsibility, thank you.
It is truly amazing Raymond how I have transformed my life, and I agree, there is a great power in self responsibility, which is incredibly healing and life changing as a life time of not taking responsiblity and putting all others before yourself is turned around with making new life style choices and awareness that the very first responsiblity is to take of ourselves and that we are worthy of self nurture and self love. As the relationship with ourselves develops and deepens all our relationships improve as we once more feel safe to connect with others.
This article really brings home the truth of how it is to grow up with parents who drink alcohol. Sooner or later we as a society will have to face up to our irresponsibility around the use of alcohol.
The world of alcohol and the world with no alcohol are 2 completely different experiences. When I was drinking alcohol I had no idea that the other existed. This goes to show how much of a grip over us alcohol has and how it affects our entire perception of life.
Spot on Vicky. This is a revelation that says it all.
For long I also thought that not drinking alcohol was not an option, not even something I would consider. I hardly ever came across a person that chose to not drink, only women who were pregnant. It just shows how ingrained alcohol is and how we don’t see that it is actually a choice we are making. It is possible to say ‘no’ to alcohol, I did over four years ago and it is one of the best choices I have ever made.
Yes Vicky, we have to lie to ourselves to say a few alcoholic drinks are okay, when our bodies register it as a poison. Once we come to accept this lie, it is easy to accept and justify lies in all aspects of our lives.
I struggled with the consequence to younger generations till I really read what you wrote. Jacqueline… The emotional consequences of alcohol will go on and on till we choose to take that level of responsibility. Many thanks
Yes, thank you so much for bringing awareness to this fact Jacqueline. Society as a whole have not even touched the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the enormity of harm caused by alcohol.
What you share about the effect on younger generations is an eye-opener.
‘Even my four-year old grandson often experiences uncontrollable emotional outbursts: four generations affected by alcohol.’
Thank you.
Wow a very powerful blog Jaqueline; thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom.
I really enjoyed reading your story and appreciated the way you exposed the insidious (and not so insidious) evils of alcohol.
Very powerful expose into the reality of alcohol and its longterm, generational impact of harm. You describe the effects so well Jacqueline. Your words here, “I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself” – the complete opposite to what body altering activities/pastimes such as drinking, or taking drugs, even emotions can do, which is to escape the body to not feel the truth of what’s going on around and inside us; that the inside world of innocence and divinity is no longer our ruling steer and a world that we have, by choice, lost semblance of or even forgotten completely, checked out and given up. Connecting back to the body brings this inside world back. Glory.
Alcohol is such an insidious drug and has dreadful affects on families, people and society in general. When I was young I learnt alcohol was an acceptable social thing to do but was not warned of the affects on the body and that it was a poison. Not that I feel this would have made much difference to me drinking as I know now that I drank alcohol to numb myself so not to feel what was happening for me. Through Universal medicine and Esoteric Practitioners I was able to heal my hurts/issues (which was the big cause) and then there wasn’t the need for alcohol. Giving up alcohol then became easy and what an amazing feeling this is to not be controlled by alcohol but to truly live life. Thank you Jacqueline for your honest sharing and we need to have more of these honest conversations about alcohol and the damage it causes.
Yes Anne, I also sought support to heal my childhood hurts and issues through Universal Medicine, which is the game changer as I was no longer bound by my hurts from the past, which created space for me to choose differently, to choose self care and self love, and is an ongoing process of letting go…
Jacqueline, it’s interesting to consider what you say about emotions keeping you from being with your body. Seemingly such a basic statement but when you truly consider how many people are awash with emotion most of the time it really makes me feel that people are being tossed around on a very turbulent sea often and for most of their lives!
Thank you, Jacqueline, for this deeply insightful, honest sharing. My parents never drank, so I used to feel scared and confused whenever we had some relatives around occasionally and some of them got drunk and started singing and behaving differently. Then one day, one of my elder cousins said to me, sounding all grown-up, ‘It’s not scary, it’s funny. They are just being silly’ – I clearly remember how I changed my mind, literally – I pushed my feelings aside and said maybe it was OK and eventually became a heavy drinker myself – the poison of alcohol did get a hold of me. What I feel from my own experience is that yes – fundamentally it is our choice whether to drink alcohol or not, but as long as we accept this poison as a standard commodity of our society, we are imposing and affecting our children’s choices.
Fumiyo, I feel to highlight the important point you make: as long as we accept this poison as a standard commodity of our society, we are imposing and affecting our children’s choices.
I agree Jacqueline and I would also like to highlighted this part you wrote as well, “I see now it has always been my choice, and that the anger towards my mother and my parents drinking alcohol, was perhaps more anger at myself for choosing to leave my innocence, my stillness, my knowingness; my beautiful, sweet divine self, the angelic child that I was.” This shows us we all have a choice and we are all responsible on some level for how we are or how we feel.
Sorry please replace my comment just posted with this one:
It is a great point that you do not need to drink alcohol to suffer the consequences of it in your body. It is also a great point made about how the simplicity of body awareness and presence is so important to cut the emotional disturbances that can run in our bodies, whether they are related to drugs and alcohol abuse or any other form of abuse. It seems that in making the choice to be more aware, we are already making a choice of healing and coming back to love.
Support and healing are necessary and then the awareness or presence comes of what we have chosen and the knowing that emotioal distubances are the root of all evil.
Jacqueline, this is very interesting for me to read. I actually felt safer when my parents drank. They were both nice drunks and not so nice sober. In other words they were decent people who couldn’t handle their emotions. Once they numbed themselves from their inner pain they were a lot better.
It is quite strange how these things happen – for you their drinking was an issue, for me their emotions were an issue but we both felt very uncomfortable until Serge Benhayon came along and showed us how to heal ourselves.
Yes Christoph, Thank Goodness for Serge Benhayon and his courses and presentations for I would still be addicted to emotions and drama and the huge discontent and unhappiness I was living every day…. never knowing how to break out of the destructive cycle I was in until I met Serge Benhayon.
I agree Jacqueline, over time many of us become better and better at managing our emotions, using alcohol, food, busyness, anything but we don’t even see them as something to be avoided. Now where I can see the damage that lack of seeing is very strange, a bit like coming out of a dream where we do the same thing over and over again without noticing anything strange about it.
I’ve read this blog the second time. I too watched friends and people around me change like you have shared Jacqueline when I was out partying with friends because I didn’t drink. I felt I was having meaningless conversation with them towards the end of the night. What also struck me reading your blog the second time was that I experienced exactly the same horrid transformation when someone was poisoned by the energy of jealousy. With the fury of jealousy their face, voice and mood would change and I would no longer recognise them. How interesting is this?
Very interesting Chan, there is that saying that jealousy is the green eyed monster and fittingly so… it is an emotion like any other. Emotions are destructive because when in them we lose the sweet connection to ourselves.
The lovelessness and disconnection alcohol brings is not okay, people change right before your eyes from being a person you know to acting like someone completely different. Usually this comes with words and actions you know that in their right mind they would never say or do. For many, especially a child it is hard, hurtful and confusing to watch someone you care about or love act, speak or behave in such a way that is not them. This hurt can often stay with a person or child for years, not to mention the damage alcohol has on relationships, families and the person themselves. What I have also come to understand, is rather than judge, as I used to, is to question and understand what is driving the person to drink in the first place, and from my own personal experience, this is often unresolved hurts, past choices or not wanting to feel what is really going on for them.
Wow, thank you Jacqueline, such an awesome article about the impact of alcohol beyond the consumer. Alcohol brings so much social and physical illness and destroys peoples connections wherever it is consumed, but it is considered harmless, because it is a convenient substance to check out and not to feel whats truly going on. Alcohol is an absolute poison and we need people like you speaking up about the consequences of consuming it. Four generations affected by alcohol and not through alcoholism, but through the side effects of it, That’s human misery and we call this normal…??
Thank you Jacqueline. What you have shared here is very powerful and very relatable. I had a very similar experience as you with not feeling safe as a child and choosing to go into anxiety, but mine had nothing to do with alcohol. As a child I felt ‘targeted’ and was constantly under attack for being the glorious little girl that I was, so in order to not feel the ugliness of this I chose to ‘check out’ through anxiety. But being anxious only compounded not feeling safe. It has taken me many years to peel back all the layers of anxiety I have used to ‘protect’ myself from feeling the pain of being ‘targeted’ the way I was as a young, innocent, delicate and supremely sensitive child. I am only now coming back to feeling all these gorgeous qualities again and I now realise that I am the only person who can bring me a sense of safety as the answer lies in my connection with myself.
Beautiful message here Robyn for all who chose to deal with their issues/hurts from the past: ‘ I am only now coming back to feeling all these gorgeous qualities again and I now realise that I am the only person who can bring me a sense of safety as the answer lies in my connection with myself’.
You have touched on so much here, Jacqueline, and deservedly so. There simply can’t be enough of such public conversation about the truth of alcohol, as the insidious drug that it is. I remember joining in on the drinking I was surrounded by when I was a young adult, becoming ‘quite the drinker’ myself for a few years in particular. Those days, are thankfully long gone, and I have to say, ‘hear, hear Deb McBride’ as to feeling so great, for years now, that I simply could not drink a drop of the stuff again – it would take me away and utterly abuse how great I do feel. This concept may be hard to understand for the drinker (I know I once would have said ‘huh??’), but it has become a reality for both myself and my husband, immeasurably so due to the inspiration and healing modalities offered by Universal Medicine.
This is exactly what needs to be ‘shouted from the rooftops’, for there is a key here, in learning to so truly love and cherish oneself, that alcohol simply isn’t an option – a key to our societies dealing with it in full. Clearly, we are struggling enormously and merely ‘managing’ the situation with solutions such as 3am curfews on bars/clubs, cannot come close to addressing the core of the issue, i.e. the level of self-abuse and abuse of others that alcohol brings, and why we as a society, continue to harm ourselves so deeply with this substance?
Thank you for this blog. The lovelessness of alcohol goes deep within the body. And the feeling of it in the body was so horrendous for me personally that I felt to keep drinking would be the only way to deal with it. After many many years of not drinking I now live every day with the incredibleness of all that we are and all that we have to share and I want to shout it from the top of every pub and club in the country that the real joy, the real freedom from the ‘drudgery’ of life, from the loneliness and the lovelessness of what we feel to be true is to embrace life, fling the doors of the heart open, let love in, pour the wine down the drain and take all of you into everything you do and say with no fear and no apology!! .
Loving your passion Deb…
haha. Brilliant Deb.
And then imagine how this would have an impact on doctors, hospitals, ambulances, the entire health system, the police force, crime rates, fire brigade call outs, the government and legal proceedings, families, friendships and all relationships, unemployment figures, the way money is made and spent or saved, safety on the roads etc. etc. etc. I could go on forever!
There is not a single aspect of life that this would not change. We can all see that the lovelessness and poison of alcohol affects us ALL – whether we drink or not. It is a major cause of dis-ease within society… and the only vaccine or medication is, as you say, to love in full, and to commit to bringing all of the real you to life
Jacqueline, thanks you for your insightful blog. The effects of drinking alcohol go far beyond the person who is drinking but we are very reluctant to take responsibility and ‘see’ what is really going on. We are so much more than this way of living but it is hard for people to accept this when often alcohol is such an accepted form of escape and self numbing.
I was thinking about those scenes from news reports or documentaries of people and especially young people staggering around the streets of capital cities or anywhere in fact, legless, vomiting, violent or injured all from the effects of alcohol or some other type of legal or illegal drugs. While these scenes are incredibly disturbing, what is most disturbing is that there is still this mindset in our society that this is ‘having a good time’. Isn’t it time to be far more honest and say it as it is – what we are seeing on these news events are people that are struggling to cope, giving up and crying out for help.
Vicky I can feel the absolute truth in your words, especially people “giving up and crying out for help.”
This feels very true Vicky, and provides another view point that in fact people drown their miseries and heads in alcohol because they are struggling to cope with life, they are giving up and yes crying out for help. And alchol is a great distraction, but when one sobers up and faces reality, nothing has changed, all the problems or issues one tries to escape from are still there.
The physical and emotional tragedies caused by the effects of alcohol or any drug is huge and so many children are brought up in this kind of environment which then often becomes their acceptable way of being also and so the patterns continue on to the next generation. We can keep blaming others for the way we are and keep those same old patterns continuing or we can take responsibility to heal our issues and make more loving choices for ourselves which then is what we can reflect for others to feel and maybe gives them the opportunity to choose differently also. There is always a choice. How wonderful Jaqueline that you made that commitment.
“As a child, the effects of my parents drinking alcohol were still felt. I remember feeling so different, and that I did not fit in or belong in my family.” i can really appreciate what you describe here, I had a similar experience, I felt like I was abandoned in a very similar way. I have chosen not to drink alcohol. Alcohol is sneaky, one glass does make a difference, I have felt it in myself, after a period of not drinking, I tried it again and I could feel that after one glass I was much more detached and separate from people around me.
Jacqueline I love the way you wrote about your experience with alcohol. This is very much needed so that others can read and get inspired by this . . . e.g. that taking responsibility is something that is not only hard work but something that makes life easier and more joyful.
I couldn’t agree more Ester, taking responsibility most definitely makes life more simple and joyful.
Absolutely, it makes everything so much more simple and joyful as by claiming responsibility we have the power to change things.
“Feeling anxious in my body took me away from the innocence and stillness within me”. A great insight you’ve shared here Jacqueline, which also helps me to understand where I go to when I allow anxiousness to enter my body now as an adult — back to some childhood hurts and emotions that I’ve been avoiding and as such yet to heal. Thank you for this.
That everything changed when responsibility was taken for her life, and her choices, is a pivotal message that is vitally important for people to read. Self responsibility changes everything, but it is one of the hardest things for people to accept, so it is essential that more and more articles about people taking responsibility for their thoughts words and deeds are written and get out there in the world for people to see.
I totally agree Chris and just love Jacqueline’s sharing that ‘When I took responsibility for my life and all my choices, everything changed’. This is an enormous pill of truth to swallow for anyone but nonetheless is essential if we are too turn the present trajectory of a society that appears to be increasing self destructive in so many ways. We have so much potential for otherwise..… Self responsibility is pivotal for any societal change to be sustained as it is the increased awareness gained from everyone with writing of many more articles and having discussions in society that questions and challenges ‘the norm’ and slowly undoes the lies and hurts that bind us from letting go and living a truly loving and vital life.
You have helped me see how harm has ripple effects way beyond what we choose to see. This is one of the first pieces of writing I have ever read that conveys in detail the way alcohol affects us energetically. It gives a full picture to something we skirt around in society. We like to think that because children may not follow in their parents habits that they have been saved from harm. But you show us here perfectly how in learning to disconnect from your body you actually became just like your parents. So the harm is passed on. So powerful Jacqueline that you mention how we carry it with us every step of life, everywhere we go. What a cautionary tale of the energy we choose and that which we take on.
Wow Joseph this was a little wake up call this morning – “in learning to disconnect from your body you actually became just like your parents.” for me this made me realise when I choose, yes choose to disconnect from my body I am choosing everything I don’t want to be, It is not necessarily about another person, but an actual way of living and energy I do not want to let in, yet I do when I choose to not be with me / my body.
Thank you for a truly insightful and thought provoking piece Jacqueline. I too hadn’t considered the extent of the harmful effects of alcohol beyond the obvious and immediate ones. The damage caused by ‘passive’ drinking needs be investigated further.
As a child in a similar situation, with just one parent drinking alcohol heavily, I also felt like my father was ‘not there’, transformed into some scary person that I could not trust and did not want to be around. As children are full of love, this sure does feel cold and not right at all – it is not part of our true nature, and we are sad to lose our innocence. We just want to love. I know that feeling of not fitting in or belonging; was I really so weird and different for finding the alcohol and its multi-generational effects so unacceptable? To me the devastation of families by alcohol consumption is what’s weird! And absolutely normal that you healed the damage with Love.
Jacqueline, I was not aware of the far reaching effects of alcohol on others even when they do not drink. Thank you for sharing this with us.
What a powerful sharing Jacqueline. Alcohol does affect us far more than we want to know or admit, it is a real epidemic in our society and unfortunately one that is commonly accepted and often championed.
Jacqueline it is so inspiring to know that you have now found a way to live that celebrates your beautiful and sweet divine self. What you have shared is so important to hear and there are a lot of points of truth that you have highlighted. This realisation stood out for me – ‘I left home at 17, but looking back it feels like I had never truly left my parents’ house because wherever I went my emotions followed me.’ as you have exposed the very debilitating control emotions and hurts can have over us if we don’t seek to heal and let them go. You have clearly presented to us how the toxic quality of alcohol can continue to affect and poison families and/or friends in a way that is not as obvious but equally destructive. Thank you for bringing this all to light for us through your lived experience.
Jacqueline, this has been the most personally healing blog (along with the comments following) I have read for some time.
I thank you, from the depths of my heart for sharing your story and initiating this, bringing of light to this ‘not-so-hidden’ dark corner of society.
Lovely to read this Pernilla, thank you.
Just incredible to read how Alcohol affects everyone not only the ones drinking.
I agree Benkt, when you really stop and consider it and as Jacqueline’s blog clearly illustrates the ripple effect of the damage of alcohol even to non drinkers of all age is astounding.
That is so powerfully healing to feel, that even after 40 years you can totally own the evilness of the substance!
No matter what’s been done, what’s chosen and lived next is all that matters.
Very wise words Oliver.
I also witnessed the changes from alcohol in my parents and the people around me, and I certainly noticed them in myself: a certain elation and raciness, the voice gets louder, the laughter raucous, everything is accelerated and exaggerated. On top of that the effects on the body: dehydration, a fuzzy head, spinning if it is really bad and a hangover if it is really really bad. How many more signs to we need in order to conclude that this stuff is poison?
Jacqueline I absolutely love this blog. You have exposed that the effects of alcohol are far more far reaching than the hospitalisations, liver damage, hangovers, horrific violence and abuse.
You also make it crystal clear that we can choose to reconnect or stay connected to the innocent and divine beings that we are regardless of what challenges we face as a result of the decisions other people make. Very empowering and so true.
Jacqueline I too was brought up in a home with a parent who abused alcohol and I too ended up angry and emotional as a result. Interestedly I directed all my blame on my mother who did not drink. As I have healed and taken responsibility for myself with the support of Universal Medicine, all my anger has melted away and when my mother died over a year ago, I felt nothing but love for her.
Thank you Sharon and Jacqueline too, I had never equated alcohol and taking on emotions such as anger or disregard as a way to deal with what I felt growing up. This just makes so much sense. I can feel through the support of these blogs and comments on alcohol how I had created a safe space, so to speak (which is not really safe at all) growing up whereby I shut down, switched off, and emotionally reacted to many things because I did and do not like the feeling of alcohol in the house and what it does to people. And even the fact that at a point in my life I chose to join in and do the same. This is still a very sensitive area for me and one I feel I can work on now.
Beautiful sharing Sharon and lovely to read how; ‘your anger just melted away’, and then felt only love for your mother. It is true that our lives change so much when we heal and let go our child hood hurts from the past.
“It is true that our lives change so much when we heal and let go our child hood hurts from the past.” I can feel how true this is Jacqueline.
As I read your article about alcohol I am reminded how this can change a person in many ways and leave lasting memories for those around them. Thank you for sharing your personal experience Jacqueline.
Thank you Jacqueline for showing the deep and lasting effects of alcohol. It is strange that most of us felt that to be hospitable and to get to know someone, we offered them an alcoholic drink; but in fact the alcohol takes you away from yourself and away from the person you are with, and you are left with the illusion of ‘having a good time’ because of the laughter and raised voices. But the hangover and lack of energy can leave you in a very lonely place.
Jacqueline, I could relate to all you have written here even though alcohol was not the cause of my anxiousness. I blamed my experiences in education for my anxiety until I came to realise that I lacked a commitment to life and could use the trauma of these years as an excuse not to trust myself and my own expression later in my life. Thank you for this reminder and confirmation.
I too Jacqueline have blamed others in the past for my life and how it is.
It is quite comical now looking back that I could do that and totally believe it. Playing this victim role and blaming others gave me the ‘out’ to avoid feeling the hurt and the horrible feelings inside. It gave me a reason other than the truth.
The truth takes courage and I am so glad that is what I choose.
It has freed me AND those that I blamed.
Many are now understanding the poison that alcohol is…but emotions can be equally, if not more damaging to the body…the toxic hangover clearly highlighting the damage.
Thank you Jacqueline, the interesting thing is that even though I have not partaken in alcohol for over 15 years, I have noticed a bout of being very emotional can leave me with a hangover like I remembered hangovers to be after a night out drinking!
Hi Jacqueline. What I love about your article is that it’s a simple observation of your life as a child and an adult and the effects alcohol has had. I don’t get any feeling that you are blaming your parents for anything in your life, any more. This is huge as it’s difficult for most people to let go of the hurts of childhood. It’s very inspiring (as it’s not easy) to see our own level of responsibility with what we face throughout our life and even more to change the landscape of our our lives by making simple loving choices for ourselves, that ultimately effect all around us. Thank you.
This is so true Jen. There comes a point that as an adult that you have made an abundance of choices independent of your parents and much time has elapsed for you to heal the hurts and of your childhood. A childhood in which you were undoubtedly brought up by parents who were brought up with the hurts, ideals and beliefs of their own parents, your grandparents, who were in turn brought up with the hurts, ideals and beliefs of their parents and so on. No parent in ever perfect so why would we expect there not to be a fall our from our childhood to deal with and heal. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own life and we must deal with and let go of our hurts, ideals and beliefs if we want to live a truly vital and enjoyable life.
I have had relationships where alcohol was very present. Since I never drank so much, I was always the one who kept ‘control’, drove home after a party, made sure nothing bad happened etc. I developed an antenna for how much and what kind of alcohol my partner would drink. I could see the difference in effect on them between drinking beer, wine, liqour etc. I was in a constant state of alert to be able to know when was the best time to communicate, which was mostly around noon. I could hear it in their voices, know that nobody was ‘home’ anymore. I was addicted as well, to cure them….
No way off course. Now I broke that chain and started to look after myself, instead of saving others.
Jacqueline, thank you for describing in detail how your experience with alcohol has harmed those around you.
I spent a long time under the illusion that I could hold my liquor when others obviously could not. I felt reassured comparing myself to a very low standard. Another lie I used to tell myself is it is okay to let your hair down every now and then and behave badly. There are many of these lies embedded in our culture and glamorized on our screens. It his culture that is very harming & changes normally gentle people like your parents (or you and me) into being loud and aggressive.
I loved your summary paragraph “it robs us of everything that is pure and innocent and divine”
I agree Bernard as I too have witnessed many gentle people become loud and aggressive when under the influence of drinking alcohol. I too am very aware that my past behaviours were certainly not always loving when like you I ‘let my hair down’. I also would go as far to say that in this day and age alcohol is so accepted and glamourised it actually can give far too many people a free pass to express poor judgment and poor behaviour and this is accepted as the norm.
Jacqueline thank you for sharing your experience. It’s all so very real to me, how you describe growing up with parents who drank alcohol. The incredible influencing behaviour that people automatically default to when drinking is very scary and intimidating.
We can’t hide no matter how hard we try because it has stuck to us like an ever-lingering hangover. As you share “A commitment to life and self can bring about true healing for those who choose it, so that we are not forever at the mercy of the damaging effects of alcohol and our past choices”. Choosing a commitment to life is such a daily blessing to live.
Yes Sandra, committing to life is the big turn around which gives your life a whole different meaning and purpose. I love your last line: ‘Choosing a commitment to life is such a daily blessing to live’.
Jacqueline, thank-you for sharing your experience, it brings the possibility of others also sharing their experiences and bringing this debilitating and poisonous lifestyle choice more out into the open.
I love the line – “I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself”. I have felt my own anxiousness, worry and fear at times and this brings such a simple way to be with it – thank you Jacqueline.
Thankyou Jacqueline for sharing this very powerful insight into alcohol and its chain reaction. When will we all stand as you have and say it as it is and not accept alcohol as part of the way we live.
Thank you Jacqueline. A good time to be re-visiting this article with the announcement in the Australian press this week “that children are bearing the brunt of alcohol-related violence, a national study has found, with more than a million children currently harmed by other people’s drinking.” This is such a profoundly disturbing statistic… Australia only has 24 million people so… 1 million of those that are children have been recognised as being affected… And the head of one agency said that there will actually be many more.
Jacqueline has been able to point out through her own experience, the depth and breadth of the effect of this poison that is rampant throughout society. Imagine if all those millions of people thus affected by alcohol actually wrote about it the way Jacqueline has… Perhaps governments would raise their heads out of the account books that show the income from the taxes on alcohol, and finally take steps to educate society to the truly poisonous nature of this insidious institution.
They are truly staggering statistics Chris. It’s no wonder that our government agencies can no longer cope with the shear volume of what is occurring within all communities. I know that this is the case in hospitals. Someone who is heavily intoxicated can bring so much disruption and standstill, not to mention distress, in a busy emergency department. I often wonder what governments would find if they actually did the maths to work out what the difference was between what they made in taxes from alcohol sales to the total cost on the community (i.e illness and disease, domestic violence, assaults, car accidents, the loss to the community of amazing people and their potential contributions because they are too busy drinking). Something tells me there is no balance here. The cost to all by far outweighs any possible earnings.
Well said Chris and Jen – I would have to agree that the cost to the community of alcohol far outweighs any tax we can possibly ever gain from its sale for the ripple effect of alcohols damage just as Jacqueline has illustrated is beyond what any stat we have today provides us. We all need to accept and wise up to this fact and address our societies true picture and the true damage of alcohol honestly and effectively.
Wow a very powerful blog, Thank you Jacqueline. Alcohol is indeed poisonous and damaging to the body, to families and to society. What is shocking is that we all know the damage alcohol does yet some of us choose to ignore it. I can see why, for some it seems like alcohol is an easy way out for delaying and numbing the deep hurts and emptiness. It allows destruct behaviours to manifest and causes harm to some many people. Reading about how alcohol has affected your life, your choice to stop blaming your mum, to heal your hurts by taking responsibility and working through them with understanding, love and support is very inspiring.
Chan, so well said. It is alarming how we know the impacts of alcohol. Just this morning I was listening to the radio and they are once again talking about footballers and their alcohol abuse. Their punishment, taken off the field for a few games, rapped over the knuckles, everyone moves on and forgets after a month and creating the space for it to happen again. Without any real consequences being applied. This turning the blind eye is happening in all areas of our society, what is going to have to happen to make it all change?
Sometimes we think oh but I don’t drink alcohol or I don’t do that, so we make ourselves feel better than the other. I love that you are so honest about this and that in the end, it is the same, you did not drink alcohol but you had your emotions and somebody else goes to the gym every day, or works hard every week, or eats sugar or takes on many hobbies. Its good to see that there is no better or worse, but that whatever we choose, that we have a look at why we make this choice in the first place.
Its very humbling what you share here Mariette for when we compare ourselves to others there is automatic disharmony in your connection with them. Why we do not see ourselves as all equal and that we have just made different choices I do not know. But I do know this comparison feeds all jealousy, and jealously is a very undermining and evil emotion indeed.
I loved your article Jacqueline, and in particular when you said: “I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself.”
That was music for my soul, as that s exactly what I’m choosing for myself, and starting to develop that step by step.
Although my parents were not drinkers, my mother had grown up with an alcoholic father. I had not really thought about it much before I read your blog but when I think of my grandfather and what it was like to be around him as a child it was really quite frightening. However knowing his history I can see how he used alcohol to numb the sadness in his life.
Stories like these, are what teenagers and many young adults should be taught.
So true Madeline, it needs to be taught that alcohol use is just adding another problem over the existing problem of not dealing with our hurts and constantly living in reaction with all there associated emotions.
Dear Jacqueline, Thank you for sharing and exposing the many layers and generational tenticles of alcohol consumption. The effects on children and the disconnect/distortions of the drinkers. The normalization of irresponsibility that flourish under the influence. I too was angry and blaming. I too came to the realization at some level the biggest hurt was the choice I made to pick up the baton and disconnect from my all knowing, special and sacred self. I hurt for allowing my own dis-empowerment. The trade of something so true and beautiful for the ridiculous.
Concetta, this one line is my blog in a nutshell; ‘ I hurt for allowing my own dis-empowerment. The trade of something so true and beautiful for the ridiculous’.
Thank you Jacqueline for your honest sharing. What you say is sad but true, also how even the side effects affects generations. I drank alcohol myself and had a lot of hangovers but never aknowledged the damaging effect it had on my body and on other people until I came across Serge Benhayon and the Universal Medicine therapies. Drinking alcohol did not made sense anymore, why escape when we can be joyful and loving with each other. The only real celebrations I experienced were and are those without alcohol. Meeting each other and celebrate who we truly are is definitely the best!
Dear Jacqueline,
Thank you for your article, I too grew up with alcohol consumption classed as normal and it happened in my home every night. I too have had anxiousness and addiction to emotions. I had never connected this way of being to having experienced the coldness and harshness that comes over those that drink. Your article has joined some dots for me.
This is an amazing blog thank you Jacqueline. It has made me to reflect on the fact that I was a parent who drank and the effects it had on my children. Hearing the explanation through the eyes of a child was very revealing but something I actually understand well. When you speak of growing up in a home that felt ‘cold’ I totally relate, only difference was my parents never drank. My father’s mood would swing from joyful and gentle to one where he would become someone else, it was like he left the room and someone else stepped in, someone dark and scary. I would never know when this would happen so I lived in constant anxiety and fear. Walking towards my home after school as a little girl was very anxiety provoking, I was walking into a dangerous place. When I became a teenager alcohol gave me a huge sense of relief! It became my ‘go to’ whenever anything became too hard. It was the support I never had but caused me to become just like my Dad in the process, almost like the opposite of what you experienced. I now know the importance of being present, something I am yet to master but an ongoing work in progress.
Thank you Jacqueline. Firstly you look and feel so vibrant and committed in your photo- lovely to see. I also love the gorgeous and fresh photo that accompanies your beautiful and truthful sharing. I felt like I was seeing and hearing your story through a child’s eyes, then quite seamlessly was brought to the reality of what that looked like when that innocent child grew to an adult. Amazingly done.
So many could learn and potentially reconsider their choices if they just saw and really felt it from the innocence of a child’s perspective.
Thank God for the blessing of Serge Benhayon and all the Practitioners at Universal Medicine for the unending support they offer to all who wish to make a change in their lives and not be locked by emotions and situations that cause a momentum and way of being that is not good for us as well as a locking, hardening, driveness and protection in the body.
Thank you Johanna, and yes thank you for the blessing of Serge Benhayon and all the practitioners at Universal Medicine who have supported me greatly to face my past, to face my deep hurts and wounds so that today I now live completely free from my past with both arms open saying YES to life and the future that awaits me.. Healing my childhood hurts has brought so much transformation to all areas of my life.
Thanks for sharing that Jacqueline! It’s really interesting to read about the different ways (although same end product) alcohol plays out in peoples lives. It’s amazing you didn’t choose to make alcohol your drink of choice, although even more amazing that you didn’t have to, that the emotions becoming your crutch regardless of the drink left you feeling much the same way. Just goes to show how incredibly sensitive we are and more proof that everything is energy.
Jacqueline spoken with so much honesty and commitment I applaud you wholeheartedly. It’s huge to think how far alcohol can effect not just the person ingesting it but the entire family unit.
Thank you for sharing your personal experience with alcohol when you were growing up.
The more conversations we have around the very real effects of alcohol, the more we open up the possibilities of really looking at this within our families, communities. It isn’t normal for me to drink alcohol but it was once – even then it didn’t actually feel normal but was an ‘acceptable’ way to alter the state I was in to avoid feeling. When you are not a drinker it is so noticeable when someone is drinking, even talking over the phone, I can always pick it. It feels quite sad because it is immediately noticeable that you can’t really connect with the person…
Jacqueline, thank you for sharing your experience with alcohol with us, expressions on this account is much needed. Alcohol is so much around us, used to assist people to cope with their lives, to dull out the fact that they are living a life void of love. And by choosing to do so they keep themselves in the treadwheel of life that withholds them the love they so deeply miss. And thank you for showing the side affect of drinking alcohol, that the effect is also spread to the loved ones around who even do not use the alcohol as means to manage life, but instead use the same energy to escape from the reality life is.
Jacqueline you surely sound like an angel, thanks for hi-lighting the damaging effects from the poison we call alcohol.
Thank you Jacqueline for your insights around alcohol. I have also experienced the power of addictions but had been unaware of the ripple effect of alcoholism before reading your blog. The real hurts hiding behind alcohol has an insidious effect on the people around us that follows us from generation to generation. I learned to hide my hurts behind emotions, so much so, that I became addicted to emotions. I could name the emotion and then vigorously act it out, creating dramas that would make me the centre of attention (for a short time), then I would create more dramas from no longer being the centre of attention. A vicious cycle. I did not notice the ripple affect until I started to pay attention to what my son and grandsons were doing: they were emulating me! Coming back to myself, feeling what needed to be felt and being me were a direct result of attending Universal Medicine courses and workshops. My family and I don’t require dramas to be noticed anymore. We have become a loving, supportive and communicative family.
I have found that healing that anxiousness I have inside takes a lot of self-care, self-love and self-nurturing to build a safe and supportive body for me to be in. Making choices supportive of my well-being and being responsible for the choices which may seem a bit less loving, these all build a trusting relationship with myself that I can rely on. This allows me to feel safe in my body again, feel my love and my power and start to be me fully in the world again.
I love what you have expressed here Gretel about healing your anxiousness, it’s spot on. Building a trusting relationship with oneself is so important and comes from the self love, self-care and self nurturing one gives to oneself. It is this process which allowed me to feel safe in my body again too, in the knowing that I can trust myself to continue taking care of me, and putting my needs first. And like you this enabled me to break my habit of hiding myself and start to be me fully in the world again.
Thank you Jacqueline for this amazing blog, which shows the maybe to some people less obvious effects of drinking alcohol. To me the emotional effects feel even worse than what alcohol does do to ones own body as they effect everybody around – sometimes for generations to follow. Someone in my extended family was a drinker and the emotions and patterns this has manifested in the family are carried through to my generation, though my parents do not drink alcohol hat all. It is amazing that such a dangerous drug is so accepted by society today and it has so much potential to harm in part to the fact that it is so readily available to everyone.
Dear Jacqueline I have no direct experience of alcohol but I was deeply affected by its aftermath. A close relative, who had lived with alcoholism in their own family, decided to never touch alcohol. However this family member was affected by deep anger. In due time I also ‘adopted’ this emotion which, paired with self-loathing, ran most of my life. Taking care of myself and allowing my body to feel has helped enormously in leaving behind this most destructive emotion. Your blog is testimony of the long lasting effect of alcohol.
For a long time I too bought into the lie that alcohol is not bad for you but aside from the physical effects what you share here Jacqueline is hugely important. The damage and negative effect goes way beyond our physical bodies. The other day I was on the train and a mom was sitting next to me with a lovely baby on her lap. The baby was content and sweet and calm. Then the mom bought a bottle of wine from the cart that came through the train and the moment she drank it the child started to play up, wanted to get away from the mother and cried and screamed for a long time. The signs of the consequences of our choices are so obvious…right in our faces….we all need to stop and actually acknowledge them.
“The signs of the consequences of our choices are so obvious…right in our faces….we all need to stop and actually acknowledge them. ” The truth so well expressed, thank you Carolien. It is in our faces and we can’t continue to ignore the physical, emotional & unseen effects that it is having and taking on so many. I know when I was consuming a lot of alcohol it had a huge effect not just on me but my two sons. Fortunately some years ago I stopped and my sons who are now 22 & 19 have not started.
It is no surprise that something as evil and toxic as alcohol has been normalised over time to the point where people are referred to as “boring” if choosing not to drink during a social outing. I used to drink a lot but knew alcohol was bad for me so I would quit for many months at a time. I did this pattern for 16 years until I was presented with not only how harmful it was to me, but others around me. I took responsibility for this harm and chose never to drink again. It wasn’t a difficult choice when I knew I harmed others around me. I seemed comfortable though to have knowingly harmed myself for so long. This fact would take me on a journey of looking at and healing self loathing and self worth issues and a pattern of putting others first. Quitting alcohol was the beginning of a beautiful journey to self love.
Great comment Tracy, I too got a comment from a guy I met that he thought I was boring because I didn’t drink, smoke or do drugs. I was heavily into the night club scene back then. He shared with me that he had this preconceived idea about me before he met me and after he got over that idea he realised that I was very comfortable to be myself when I was around other people and have fun without any toxic substances.
This is a very powerful account of the devastating effects of alcohol thank, you for sharing it with us Jacqueline.
I feel as a society we have colluded to ignore the great harm that alcohol does so that we can keep it as an option to numb the deep hurts that we all feel rather than have to face them, but slowly the truth is being recognised and accepted, and accounts like this help bring this to light.
Yes Tim, you have nailed it in this line: ‘ I feel as a society we have colluded to ignore the great harm that alcohol does so that we can keep it as an option to numb the deep hurts that we all feel rather than have to face them’. Ignorance is bliss some say, but the truth is it is not bliss at all. It is a huge irresponsiblity to ourselves and all others. And perhaps the biggest ouch and avoidance is coming to accept the fact we do it all to ourselves, we only hurt ourselves and continue to hurt ourselves as long as we choose to live in ignorance.
Jacqueline your story is so powerful and reveals so much of the truth about a substance that has become insidious in our lives. I know very personally that alcohol does rob you of everything, and with each new day I experience a new sense of how I can be in the world as God intended me to be, and it’s lovely.
It seems you are taking responsibility for your part in these situations instead of just blaming your parents for your hurts around alcohol. This is cool to read as for most it’s much easier to blame or judge others as worse, especially when they can say “at least I’m not as bad as them…”
Alcohol wastes beautiful people.
Hi Jacqueline your illustration of the harmfull effects of alcohol is appreciated. I was a big drinker but since coming into contact with Universal Medicine I no longer have a desire to drink and I feel so much better for it.
A big drinker and now tee-total, inspiring Joe and perhaps there is more for you to share, in your own blog? My feeling is it would be a great support for many others who are becoming aware of how harmful alcohol is, and may need some support mainly because of its addictive nature.
Wow, we often associate the impact of alcohol to the impact on our own health, perhaps our behaviours to those around us if we are aggressive or violent but often don’t consider how much it must truly impact children with just feeling the coldness and lack of connection alone let alone the other behaviours that can go with alcohol abuse. Perhaps we don’t generally wish to see how huge the impact of alcohol can truly be?
Tears welled up in my eyes by the end of reading this article because I can so relate Jacqueline. I remember as a little girl, first having moved to Scotland feeling cold and scared — it was not so much because of the cold weather but because drinking was, and still is, so much part of the culture.
Like you I didn’t take much to drinking – but it didn’t meant that I didn’t build up walls of protection from the effects of it. As you say, the ripple effects of alcohol go very far – into generations and across continents. There is much to be said about how society has made it acceptable to drink ‘in moderation’. There is no moderation to the evils of alcohol.
When we reconnect to the tender beautiful beings we naturally are, not a drop of alcohol resonates.
I was really touched by your comment/share Katerina and could feel how it was for you when you moved to Scotland as a small girl; and you are correct because drinking is such a huge part of the culture in Scotland, and for many, literally drinking themselves into oblivion. But there is always a silver lining, there is always different choices to make and another way to live that does not involve one drop of alcohol, beautifully expressed in your last line: ‘ When we reconnect to the tender beautiful beings we naturally are, not a drop of alcohol resonates’. The truth always shines a light.
Hi Jacqueline, what struck me about your article was that even though you didn’t drink yourself you still got addicted to the emotions and this had affects on your children and grand children. This demonstrates the insidious affects of alcohol and how these affects are spread far and wide through all levels of society.
This I also found incredibly profound. I grew up in a family of heavy alcohol drinking and can feel how I inheritted some emotional baggage even though I stopped drinking in my early 20s. It is like a poison that permeates though the ethers and pollutes pure waters everywhere it touches.
The extent and the ripple effects of drinking alcohol run deep and large. It is tremendously encouraging to know and witness that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are helping us to spread “ripple effects of Love” that will help the society as a whole to one day realise how harmful drinking alcohol is.
Ryoko; I love your words; ““ripple effects of Love”. I am sure that if we continue to expand these “love ripples” that one day society as a whole will no longer be able to deny the harmful effects of alcohol, and not just to those who drink it, but to all those around them.
Thank you for sharing such an avoidable subject for quite a few people. A true insight into how far you can end up leaving your own essence when alcohol is allowed power in your life.
The reports on the effects of alcohol on the body, seems to be hitting home, as does the number of people who have now turned their back on drinking any form of alcohol.
Some things in this world are designed with the intent to specifically play to the hurts that we hold on the inside. Alcohol is one of them. Designed to appeal, satisfy, tantalise and caress our weaknesses with the myriad colours and forms that alcohol is packaged. 80% of liver disease is alcohol related, is this figure not high enough yet?
Yes Matthew, when we choose not to deal with our hurts that we carry around with us, alcohol is used as a sweet seduction and number not to feel those deep hurts within, and as you accurately expressed is: ‘Designed to appeal, satisfy, tantalise and caress our weaknesses with the myriad colours and forms that alcohol is packaged’. And let’s not forget about the alcohol related liver disease…
Not to mention heart disease, cancers, dementia, mental ill health etc. So Matthew perhaps not.
Not to mention the millions that are harmed by the effects of physical abuse fuelled by alcohol!
Not to mention the domestic violence, mental abuse and general disharmony and friction between people that alcohol fuels.
Thank you Jacqueline for your blog and describing how alcohol in the family home affects children in increasingly detrimental developing stages. I was touched by this story. So many children are subjected to it, it is a sad story that many within our society can tell. May others be inspired by you, to feel and heal.
What I don’t understand is after a life time of extremely heavy drinking, Rosanna, my wife took me to a retreat, all I recall is after a day and a half I went to find her and said, this is a stitch-up, once you know this, you have no other coarse than to stop drinking alcohol. I stopped that day and have not taken a drop since. Amazingly I had no side effects from giving up at all or any will power issues, I was just a non-drinker. I still can not recall any thing that was said that made me stop, the body went that’s that, now stop and without any thinking I just did.
The affects of alcohol are so broad and wide reaching, the emotional addiction is a common one that is often forgotten that surrounds alcohol, even on the days when no alcohol is consumed. I absolutely loved your line “I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself.” This is such a great tool in how to really claim you and be who you are, without any substances.
Who would drink alcohol if they knew that comes with a lot more than a hangover and how far and wide its impacts are?
Very well said Andrew the ripple effect and destruction of alcohol is enormous and it is time we all woke up to and accepted this fact.
Jacqueline that was a beautifully written open blog that gave me much to feel into and reflect upon. It is extreamly underestimated what the effects of alcohol have on humanity. I recall as a child how distant this made me feel from others as there was always a knowing in me that drinking alcohol wasn’t right, to think that much of humanity feels the same and yet continues to drink allows you to feel how alcohol creates distance between people and that is just one of the many effects it creates. Thanks for sharing.
The amount of alcohol that people are buying for christmas I witnessed yesterday whilst out shopping. People had more in their trollies than food items. I find myself wondering why people need to have so much over the christmas period.
It’s an interesting question that you pose here Mike – and one year on from your observation I would say that this Christmas that has just gone has been no different. Christmas is theoretically about being around those that you love – why would you want to numb the joy that this brings with alcohol? Maybe its because when you all get together you feel all your unresolved hurts with your loved ones. Hurts that you don’t want to feel and address but when you are all together you can no longer ignore.
I have been paying close attention to mentions of alcohol on the radio recently in interviews, plays, reports, conversations between people, and those remembering past good times together. Without fail Alcohol is the reward or natural way to celebrate anything. It is usually said with a laugh or a throw away, or in a kind of “I deserve it” way. I have been feeling the energy beneath the words, and sometimes it feels like guilt, and sometimes like defiance, as though they do know they are damaging themselves. I find this very interesting, and it is an example of how difficult we find it to choose to give up something that is so much woven into our daily lives even when we know how it is affecting us.
Brilliant article Jacqueline – “I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself” – this is true for so many situations, even though we may feel more protected if we tense up, like we are ‘preparing for battle’, or trying to numb the feeling of being uncomfortable, the only way to ‘stay safe’, i.e. know what is going on and therefore be able to respond appropriately, is by “staying present with myself”. Excellent.
Thank you Jessica for expanding on this, as you point out, the only way to stay safe, is to know and ‘feel’ what’s going on so we are able to respond appropriately, and then its done with and we move on. When a situation is not dealt with appropriately or remains unfinished, the energy stays with us until we resolve it… To take this further, what about all our relationships that are not clear with issues unresolved especially between family members, and how this impacts our bodies and ourselves on so many levels… in effect holding us back.
We all know what alcohol does to the body, and with christmas drawing near, how many people will heed that warning and either give up or cut back from the excess drinking habit.
Good point you make Mike, Christmas is a time to celebrate, e.g. you have all the Christmas parties in and out of work… Christmas dinner served with more alcohol, that was normal in my family as is for most on Christmas day. Christmas and alcohol seem to go hand in hand as it is for any celebration during the year, this is now the norm in society.
This blog has certainly stirred something within me, while reading I felt my body tense up and my mind starting to drift off onto anything other than what my body is feeling. If even just reading another’s account on the subject brings up such a reaction it makes me consider: what if I still have not healed how I felt when I was young and my parents used to drink? They have not drank for years now but the response in my body is loud and clear that the effects of my choices to not feel are still living with me to this day.
Great share Leigh and loved your question to yourself; ‘what if I still have not healed how I felt when I was young and my parents used to drink’? With the question comes the awareness which you can then choose to clear. Awesome.
I suppose my first exposure to the unattractive spectacle of drunkenness was working Saturday nights in a coffee bar. I was a sixth-form schoolboy earning some extra cash at the weekend and it was during the nineteen sixties.
Around 11p.m., at ‘chucking out time’ , our little coffee bar would become very busy with refugees from all the local pubs and bars, who were desperate to sober-up on black coffee. Us staff would be rushed off our feet but sober. The new arrivals however often seemed almost out of control, but to them, it appeared to be a joke.
Their perception of the situation was so different from ours! There was a long counter and people perched on little round stools. A couple of girls arrived and one of them ordered a slice of cheesecake, and I just knew what would happen next! After a mouthful or two, one of the girls started to vomit onto the counter, and it very rapidly became obvious that Cider (a strong apple alcohol drink) was what they had been consuming all evening. One of the most extraordinary things was that most of the arrivals ignored it and just moved away a few inches! Yours truly had to clear it up of course, but I was struck by the fact that all these well-dressed people were so numbed by the alcohol, that they barely noticed what had happened!
Hi Jacqueline, this is such a great article exposing the real effects of alcohol. Like Hannah says, this needs to be voiced and these true accounts are much needed to cut through this very damaging but socially acceptable past-time that humanity likes to turn a blind eye to.
I agree with you Heather and the above comments that it is also the damage social drinking can do, not just those that get excessively drunk or violent with their behaviour. When we use it for celebration it is good to stop and reflect why we need it for escape, or to numb. The use of alcohol is so normal that we think nothing of teenage drinking and excuse it as better than taking drugs and make it ok because everyone is doing it. Turning a blind eye is a good expression Heather.
It is so true Rachel that the use of alcohol has become so normalised. When, as Jacqueline has so clearly expressed here, the ripple-effects of alcohol use as severe and widespread. And it is not just alcoholics or people with a drinking problem, it is exactly as you said Heather – socially acceptable, peer pressure drinking. And when does one admit that they’ve crossed the line from socially acceptable to having a drinking problem? The line seems very blurry to me. I thought I was a social drinker – but even dangerous situations, complete blackouts and medical problems did not hinder my self abusive relationship with alcohol. I thank Serge Benhayon and his choices in his Livingness for being such an inspiration. i have learnt to make loving choices and know what it means to truly be me without needing the relief of alcohol.
Indeed drinking has been so socially accepted and normalised that now we just seem to accept all the health related issues and violence that comes with it.
I was drawn to read your comment again, after a recent conversation because most of us at age 20, and I speak for myself, really do not think about what we do or put into our bodies, because we have youth on our side, and who thinks about what condition the body will be in when we are older, it is so far away when you are 20! And that is the crucial point, how we treat and abuse our bodies when we are 20 and continually do so, leads to the health problems later in life, because our ‘later in life’ stage ultimately awaits us. To stop drinking at 20, I find amazing… especially when everyone around you is drinking, and the peer pressure to ‘fit in’ is so strong. Would love to hear/read more from you Ryan, maybe taking your honest and beautiful sharing above into a blog?
I work in advertising – where alcohol is celebrated through how we show it to the world, and also in my industry itself. We have a bar in our office and what I have observed is that, alcohol is not seen as something to go wild with, but as an escape, an unwind or something to forget about your week with, perhaps to forget about the emotions one has felt. All too often, we see a substance used for celebration, seemingly keeping your heart healthy or warming you up. Blogs like this is exactly what is not voiced enough, showing what really goes on after the party is over. A great revelation.
Thank you Jacqueline for this very important piece about the very true effects of alcohol.
Amazingly well said Otto, I absolutely agree with every word you have shared, thank you
I went to a party recently and people noticed that I wasn’t drinking alcohol. Everyone who spoke to me about this said they knew they shouldn’t drink and they all were aware of the harm it does. It was interesting to feel the openness that was apparent in our talking about it and the honesty each person brought to one degree or another to the conversation. I feel, like smoking, it may be a long time before we, as a society, take full responsibility for the true dangers of drinking alcohol, but honest conversations like theses, is a great place to start.
I agree Elaine, honest conversations and sharing is a great place to start. I too also went for a drink with colleagues after work and ordered a mint tea. One colleague asked ‘how long have you not been drinking?’ and a conversation started, so the interest is there, because by not drinking we reflect another choice.
I remember the first time I went to a party and didn’t drink any alcohol. I felt everyone would be sure to notice and I would stick out like the proverbial sore thumb. The fact was they didn’t. When one of my friends noticed I poured myself a mineral water I remember the look on her face was one of hmmm she’s drinking a mineral water and then she went immediately back to our conversation with no comment. We worry far more what others think of us than what they actually do think about us.
I deeply appreciate this blog and the others that I have read on the same subject. So much of the debate around alcohol centres on the extreme cases. The violence, the abuse, the horrific and horrible behaviour that comes out of drinking alcohol. All of which is utterly valid. But what I am still learning and still seeing more of, is the huge ripples and long lasting effects of alcohol, equally so, in situations where there weren’t extreme behaviours. And this is where I feel that alcohol as it’s own extra special level of damage-causing ability. Fuelled, aided and abetted by the fact that it is a socially accepted norm. So there are millions and millions of people out there being deeply affected by alcohol but who don’t even know it is happening…how can they, when it is going on all around them. When their teachers are drinking, their parents, their parent’s friends, their sporting heroes, the leaders of the country etc…It is everywhere. As a kid I grew up with it all around me and it is only now, that I am beginning to truly understand the damage. What I mean is the deep damage. Beyond the bruises, the violence, the abuse, the broken families….a bottle of vodka may momentarily numb the drinker….but, in truth, for the drinker and for everyone else, the horrific damage caused by the total disconnect and all of that hurt and anger and guilt and pain will only ever be fully exposed when society no longer considers drinking alcohol as ‘normal’. So that those that are being hurt can know that it is not OK.
Yes brilliantly said Otto. The normalisation of alcohol in society is comprehensive: celebration to commiseration, relaxation to let’s party. The results of drinking are accepted as normal; the disconnecting from oneself and those around us and the damage this causes to ourselves and others. It is so awesome that there are many like Jacqueline who are re-connecting with themselves and dealing and letting go of their hurts around alcohol. They are being true role models within society and possibly inspiring a loving way of dealing with their hurts.
Yep the normalisation of a poison that hurts us all deeply as a society that is then championed as a society…where is the intelligence in that?
Hi Jacqueline, This is a very powerful blog which reminded me of my childhood, not in relation to alcohol so much but it reminded me of the ‘cold atmosphere’ the not being seen as the beautiful child full of love that we all are and this is not to blame anyone since generations have done the best they could with what they too had experienced. I then went about trying to make things better and I took on the burdens thinking I was helping but this only resulted in anger and deep sadness that nothing I did worked. I realise now that I needn’t have changed anything but simply stayed the beautiful child full of love. Just being me was all that was necessary. thank you.
Thank you! It is beautiful to appreciate ourselves for the commitment to healing our issues, that comes first before we can discover we did not have to change anything, but simply stay the beautiful innocent, divine child, full of love we are. Awesome.
Yes I totally agree that alcohol has many effects on others that are not as obvious as physical abuse etc but can be just as damaging and long lasting. This gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘domestic abuse’ for what is revealed here is that a child simply feeling the uncertainty and inconsistency and not feeling safe in their own home is very harmful, even if at this current time we accept this as being ‘normal’ in society.
Yes it does give a whole new meaning to the term, “domestic abuse”. For instance, if parents leave a small child alone in a house, this is abuse and neglect and they can be prosecuted for it. Take the child who is at home with his parents, but the parents are completely checked out from drinking alcohol, who is there for that child? No-one, of course there is no difference! My deepest trauma in all of my story and which I had so much resistance to feeling, because it was too painful was this: As a child ‘there was no-one there for me”. Drinking alcohol around children is domestic abuse in my experience, thank you Andrew for that insight, I feel another blog coming…!
Thank you jacqueline for such an inspiring article on what alcohol can do to a person, and how its effects can devastate families. When you hear people say how much alcohol they consumed the previous night, or see people totally inebriated after a heavy drinking session – if they only knew what they were doing to their bodies and minds.
If they only knew indeed… but when one person in a family or group say no to alcohol it seems to make it easier for others in that family or group to say no also, if they so choose of course.
It’s true Mike, there is a game that gets played that the more you have abused your body the more celebrated you are. It doesn’t make sense.
I totally relate to when you say that alcohol has an affect on the next generation, if they choose not to drink it. Especially when pressure is there around drinking alcohol when it is consumed by many peers, making it more of a challenge for those who choose not to drink it because they are considered not cool or normal.
Hi Jacqueline, your blog has really made me stop and reflect on the connection between alcohol and emotional ‘intoxication’ as I see it. I realise I have been emotional most of my life and have choosen potentially emotive situations so I can continue to justify being emotional and not deal with my hurts.
Growing up I had a family member I spent a lot of time with who liked to drink. She knew what buttons to press with me and said something she knew I wouldn’t walk away from without an argument. Most nights I couldn’t resist but when I did walk away I was already angry and I didn’t calm down for ages. In fact, I walked around feeling angry most of the time and nothing I did stopped me feeling this way.
It wasn’t until I started seeing Universal Medicine practitioners that I connected with myself and who I truly am. I discovered who I truly am isn’t emotional. Choosing to connect to me, hiding underneath all the emotions, allowed me to see that the emotions are not part of me; I can let them go. I no longer live being constantly angry or wallowing in sadness. When I connect with my natural tenderness and strength I am able to let myself feel vulnerable and connect openly with people.
“I discovered who I truly am isn’t emotional”. This short sentence sums up my whole article and feels so powerful that it should be plastered everywhere as a great reminder to us human beings:
My True Essence is Not Emotional…. We can not have enough reminders of this as it is our emotions that take us away from our divine and pure essence: Love.
Jacqueline I so agree with you! I used to think emotions were great to have and that I “was ” my emotions/my emotions were me. I identified myself by them. To know that they are not from our divine essence was a revelation!
Thank you Jacqueline for your brilliant article and what it reveals through all the comments is how much alcohol has effected us all in some way or another and how harmful it has been and is. It also reveals that we do not naturally want anything to do with alcohol but have accepted the abuse from it by accepting it in society and hence all gone along with it as it has become apart of life as we know it in the world despite the harm it brings. It is with articles like this that we can bring about a change in how alcohol is perceived and accepted and a truthful awareness can start to happen.
wow, how impressive, you stopped drinking at 20, what a role model you are! Was lovely to read how you got the awareness that you felt different and not yourself when drinking alcohol, and how that had a negative impact on how you treated others. Thank you Ryan for such clarity and honesty in how with drinking alcohol, ‘something else just takes over’.
So true Ariana, there is often a huge change in behaviour, speech and the way someone looks after drinking. However it’s as though somehow this change is expected and therefore accepted to a greater degree. But when you said “they certainly do not sound like the people we meet during the day” it was so clear how we put up with alcohol and the effects it has on the individuals – and our societies at large, rather than speak out and say that drinking alcohol is a really harming thing to allow.
A brilliant article, Jacqueline, exposing the true harm and knock-on effects of alcohol on – not only the drinker – but all those around the drinker. Alcohol is a poisonous, toxic substance, and the extent of its damage is far greater than we are allowed to – or indeed want to – know. My experience of stopping drinking alcohol has allowed me to live a far truer, clearer life, and this is a testament to the damage that alcohol was having on me and its detrimental impact on my quality of life.
Because we grow up with alcohol, because it is socially accepted, it is present in every occasion there is to celebrate, thus I feel when we make the decision to stop drinking, it is a real turning point in our lives; because we are able to live a truer and simpler life, as you stated, and has a positive effect on all our relationships and at the same time offers another reflection to others.
I agree whole heartedly with you Doug. Having also been a consumer of “an evil and poisonous substance” for just over 40 years. I also know the damage I’ve caused in the past.
Yes I love this point – when we are being irresponsible, or are hurting ourselves, we think it is JUST us we are hurting, when in fact we are hurting everyone around us too.
Very well said Meg. Every unloving choice can hurt others directly as in it hurts to see someone make unloving choices, or ‘indirectly’ because it may inspire others to think it is ok to make unloving choices for yourself.
What a powerful article which I can relate to thank you for sharing
This is an awesome blog Jacqueline, I agree with what you are presenting. I’ve never really drunk much, however, when I was a teenager I experimented with those fizzy alcohol drinks, mainly because I was curious and wanted to belong with my friends. I knew I didn’t like the feeling of what it did to me and I knew I didn’t like what it did to the people around me. In my first month at Uni I decided that I would never drink again, it was an absolute decision, and it’s never crossed my mind since to drink again. The simple reason for this is because I do not want to loose who I am, that is too important and too precious to me now. It’s easy for me to see looking back that when I was younger and experimenting I did not hold myself with that preciousness, so while I knew it was not right for me I did not have that care for myself built inside me to say: no, I will not abuse myself in this way. Such a fascinating topic – thank you so much for introducing it.
It is a very common theme in many of the comments, we don’t like what drinking does to us and what it does to others around us, but we drink it to not stand out or be the odd ball as Monica above also described. It is simply insane that we go ahead and drink it anyway… I so identified with your why part:
“I did not hold myself with that preciousness, so while i knew it was not right for me I did not have that care for myself built inside to say no”. I feel this can apply for many other things too. Thank you Meg.
Yes I feel the same too Jacqueline and Meg about not holding myself in that preciousness. That is now a developing choice for me to do that. It is amazing that I chose to hold myself in such disregard and loathing before to override what I felt to partake in abusing myself to fit it, be accepted, be cool and be liked!
What is amazing Michelle, is that when we get the awareness of the disregard we have chosen in the past, how easy it is to choose something else; for example, self love, and from that new choice everything else unfolds…
Yes indeed, I am currently finding this very much an unfolding…. Sometimes with a few speed bumps in the way, but remembering to appreciate the caring and loving choices I have made is helping me through the tougher choices around me now.
What an eye opener to the subject of alcohol. We are all taught the physical effects of too much alcohol in our bodies and many have seen images of the outcome of a drunken night brawl outside a club or heard stories of such, but to hear these side effects make you stop and ponder on what really goes on. There is so much within this article that I shall be reading it again.
Great article Jacqueline, thank you. I felt that as a child too in my family, even though my parents do not drink any longer for health reasons, I haven’t had the courage to speak to them about it yet. Wine was on the table for lunch and dinner everyday.
Hi Alexander, most of us grow up with alcohol on the table for lunch and dinner, (and sometimes at any hour of the day), it is how alcohol becomes socially acceptable and a ‘normal’ part of meal times, and every other ocassion that a celebration is called for, (birthdays, births, weddings etc).
Thank you Monica for such honesty, I felt everything you shared. How many of us drink alcohol to fit in and not be the odd one out, and of course that applies to anything in our lives, and then we don’t want to feel what we do to ourselves – I know this so well : “I felt awful after, and now as I write I can see that it was that I really hated what I was doing to myself but didn’t want to feel it – I wanted to blame everything else but not take responsibility for the fact that I’d done something to me that I knew wasn’t right”. This is spot on!
This is one of the most eye-opener and real blog and discussions I have ever come across on the topic of alcohol.
Thank you Priscila.
Awesome Doug that you can now see with clarity the impact and ripple effects Alcohol has on not just yourself but everyone around. I also can see from my experience the enormity the impact alcohol had on my life but like all drugs I wasn’t aware how deeply disturbing it was when I was in it.
Natalie, I can relate to what you are saying. I could see the bad effects of alcohol on me and sometimes I could be aware of how disturbing I could get, but reading this blog brought a new level of awareness of the ripple effects of alcohol on others and on future generations.
Very well said Natalie, any addiction to anything can be so powerful it effectively puts blinders onto the destruction it is causing your everyday life and the ripple effect your choices has on all others around you.
Thanks for writing about such an important topic Jacqueline. I used to drink and sometimes it was to excess. Until reading this I had never considered how serious the knock on effect was and how It has also affected my family for a few generations. One observation is that myself and my husband were still drinking when raising our two older children. They both now drink socially. We both stopped drinking when our youngest daughter was around 10. She is now 19 and has no interest in drinking alcohol at all.
Hi Debra, It was lovely to read your daughter has no interest in alcohol. Sometimes I think we forget just how much children do learn and copy behaviour from their parents, parents being their first role model.
Which is a great demonstration of how perhaps your choices inspired the choices of your children.
What you say is so true Michelle, when we stand back and observe the antics that take place because of alcohol and then associate that with having a “good time”, it exposes how little we understand what a “good time” truly means. To be so drunk that we have no recollection of what has happened the night before is not in my books a “good time”. I have made myself ill on alcohol many times, but fortunately and unfortunately, I have always remembered exactly what went on, and these days I would not equate any of that with having a good time.
This is a great point you make Rowena. We make ourselves ill by drinking alcohol, we clutch the toilet for dear life as we throw up, (our body ejecting the poison) we stay in
bed next day, all day, in order to recover as the body feels like it has been run over by a truck and we swear never to touch the liquid again, until the next social occasion calls, and we call this a good time….?
I was just reflecting on this ‘Good Time’ as you say, this morning with my sister. I came across an old photo and she was clearly hungover and since we have both stopped drinking could reflect back and the first words that came to me was ‘this was all for a so called Good Time’ … Today I can confidently say that I do not miss those supposedly ‘Good Times’ as they were empty and loveless. Now I can say every second has the potential of being a ‘Good Time’ but in fact are Joyful times as I feel completely loving and full in all that I do. The more I accept I am everything that I need to be by just being me the stronger these Joyful moments are.
That’s a good point, Jane how it also affects the wider society. When you stop and think about how much pressure weekend drinkers place on everyone around them, not to mention the expense, we have to ponder on just how we have let it get this far and extreme and still consider it as normal and acceptable behaviour.
I have seen documentaries that show that the weekend drinking accidents increase on the weekend, is now pretty much everyday alcohol is being used in a self medicating way by large parts of society, it is really normal. Recently I was at a family event, a lunch time do, almost everyone was drinking and it felt so abnormal, which is so weird as in the past I would have found this very normal. It is like when you’re in something and you can’t see what is damaging about it as you’re so invested in whatever it is for you – for me it was having fun. Harmless fun – maybe not so harmless – as you have described so well Jacqueline.
It is interesting what you said about family gatherings Vanessa. I was at a birthday celebration recently and watched everyone drinking champagne, previously a drink I enjoyed, but now I choose not to drink alcohol and I find I enjoy people so much more and feel I am more present with them as a result. There was so much to think about in your article Jacqueline, thank you, it is one I will read many times.
This is a very powerful comment Fiona and Jacqueline. The only way to stay safe is to stay present and connected to your body … And be prepared to feel everything, absolutely everything without reacting. The three monkeys, hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil are playing party to the illusion for doing any or all of those things doesn’t change what we feel. We can feel when anyone is disconnected from who they truly are and this separation can make one react in so many varying ways … Anger, frustration, sadness, aloof … The list goes on. When true love is brought to table as has been presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine we can turn illusions like the one you present completely on its head!
A deeply personal and powerful blog. Thank you for highlighting that it is only once we start taking responsibility for our choices that we can begin to heal the past.
Thank you Cathy. Yes, that is key, taking responsibility for all our ‘past’ choices.
Definitely Fiona and Samantha, I agree, and being present in our body is key.
Such a powerful blog that gives voice to what children innately know about alcohol and what happens to those they love when they consume it.
What I find interesting is there have been many attempts to ban this substance in the past through religious fervour and abstinence as well as law enforced prohibition but all those attempts seem to have capped the individual from owning up to how they feel when they drink and explore from their inner heart why they are choosing to do this to themselves, let alone the effect it has on others.
There are no solutions to this issue unless we are prepared to bring ourselves back to honouring our natural state of being and making a commitment to feel everything … The energy that comes with alcohol is only something we can feel when we are prepared to be absolutely honest with ourselves.
Blogs like this are powerful because like we can see, as children we thought we were alone in what we felt deep inside but little did we know there were many, many other children out there and are still out there feeling exactly the same thing. They know because they can feel everything and as adults we have chosen to forget or pretend we don’t remember that we can feel everything too. Awesome, awesome sharing!
I really love everything you have said Suzanne. And so true why Prohibition didn’t work, it was prohibitive, unsupportive. Those who have chosen to look at it honestly and have felt the effects, have been empowered to make a choice for ourselves. Which I have found is so much more sustaining. Thank you to Serge Benhayon for presenting the truth and leaving the choice with ourselves.
I have heard many times how alcohol affects a lot further afield than the actual person who is drinking and have been presented with the statistic of crimes etc, but I had not read such an honest and intelligent account detailing childhood experience all the way up to being a parent and the impact on the children. It has brought greater understanding. Thank you. Your article blows the lid on what is accepted as normal in this area and shows how alcohol consumption is in fact far more insidious and poisonous in the world than generally considered.
Your experience is one shared by the majority of people in our culture, I read recently that 97% of adults in the UK use alcohol. Use being the important word here, it is a choice to use alcohol as a mind altering drug to numb and avoid feeling. Amazing through your sharing we can understand how far reaching the effects of alcohol truly are, generations tainted by its poison. We know how damaging alcoholism is because the physical reality is clear to see but what you describe is insidious and considered socially acceptable whilst doing the same amount or possibly more damage because it is hidden and not acknowledged. I started drinking alcohol at the age of 10 because I wanted to be like my parents, they were my role models and it seemed so sophisticated and cool to drink and smoke. I had the realisation whilst reading the blog and comments that I was actually using alcohol and nicotine to copy my parents in their numbing and hiding true feelings, a way of absenting myself from the pain of not being met. Thank you a truly revealing article.
I was really touched and felt deeply the words in your last sentence in how you describe; “using alcohol and nicotine to copy my parents in their numbing and hiding true feelings, a way of absenting myself from the pain of not being met”. Thank you Fiona for sharing so openly and honest your realisation.
One of the powerful aspects of this blog is Jacqueline sharing how it felt to be in her home as a child when her parents were drinking alcohol. I know of families now where young members feel obliged to drink alcohol because alcohol is so deeply ingrained into family life, where them saying no is difficult, and where it feels impossible for them to share with a parent who drinks how it is to be around the parent when they drink, and yet I also know of the lengths the parents go to support their children, to do all that they think is best for their children.
I wonder what would happen if every child were given an opportunity to really say, without fear of consequences, how it feels to be around their parents when they are drinking. I know from personal experience that when alcohol plays a big part in your life, it is hard to hear it challenged, and yet I wonder if the words of children, spoken with the love and honesty that children bring, might be the most audible?
Yes, Catherine, maybe that is where we need to go in order to cut through the ingorance around alcohol, is for the voices of children to be heard as children speak with love and honesty. I would like to add, I received much healing in writing this blog and I received more healing when it was published because it felt so powerful to share. Whilst reading the comments I suddenly realised my voice is being heard: my ‘child voice’ is being heard through this blog, as is also the many people who have shared similar experiences in the comments. The healing has started Catherine, and I feel there will be many more blogs coming on this subject to expand and expose further the true damage of alcohol, for it is time for the ‘voices of children to be heard’.
I also got a far greater understanding of the effect of alcohol in a family by reading Jacqueline’s blog. It has really help me see more of the side effects of alcohol, beyond just the hangover of people around me who have been drinking the night before. Having never drank alcohol, my experience with it is limited, and so sharings like these are great to get a better understanding of the harm alcohol can do to those around the people who consume it.
I love how you describe that moving out did not actually make any difference as to how your emotions, you may have been trying to escape from, did not leave.
Only during the writing did I get this realization Rhiannon, which was something for me to digest
indeed!
Great blog Jacqueline. What you say resonates strongly with me for sure. I can really feel how leading a life out of ones body can arise from feeling unsafe and that this is how you lose your sweetness and become hard. It’s inspiring how you have healed so well now and the anxiousness has gone – I am in the process with that one but realising so much as each day unfolds that really the key for me is presence. In everything I do. This is easier said than done at first but I am finding magic is happening just from me being more present than I was the day before.
Thank you Jacqueline for an open an honest account of how it was as a child around alcohol, and the ongoing issues that occur. It is an interesting point raised in the comments too that even if we do not drink alcohol ourself it is still possible to accept alcohol as a normal part of life, so in effect being part of its usage.
Jacqueline, when you mentioned in your article the correlation you bring up between addiction to alcohol and the subsequent addiction you had with emotions, I couldn’t help but feel how interesting it is that my parents both never drank alcohol but certainly expressed a lot of charged emotions via arguing, resentment, anger, etc. and after living in that environment growing up, I made the poor decision to use alcohol to numb myself and not deal with what was being shown to me to work on. I say that because I feel that nothing happens in our lives by accident, and we are responsible for everything that occurs as a result of our past and present actions.
What your blog makes clear is how for me to do this at that young age, (and continue to abuse alcohol up until I felt like I was out of control and could not drink enough to avoid dealing with my own emotional issues), I had to make a decision to let go of my true inner self that is always tender and can not be damaged. If I was able to simply stay connected with my body and observe what was going on around me without feeling responsible or sympathetic to what my parents were experiencing, but see how in a way there was something to learn from them by reflection, then a true healing could ensue. This is easier said than done, but now that I know as an adult, it sure makes it easier to conserve my own energy and not let others’ emotions lead to me using some substance or behaviour to check out and not feel anymore.
Beautifully expressed Michael, so very true and very honest, thank you.
A very timely and honest sharing of the effects of a substance that has become accepted as part of society, but a substance that has created so much pain and so much harm at an enormous cost to individuals, families and society.
Members of my immediate family did not drink much but I had another family member who would visit regularly and get very drunk and I remember seeing his behaviour change into being obnoxious and loud. Seeing them in this altered state did not stop me from taking my first drink which lead to many more. I drank to fit in and I drank to fill the emptiness. About 14 years ago due to a health issue I stopped drinking and 18 months later feeling so healthy and energised I had a moment when I picked up a glass of wine and took a sip. My first thought was “what am I doing?” as at that moment I finally knew what this poison was doing to my body and to me. I had got to know and love me without having to be in an altered state. This is a subject we all need to be talking about so thank you Jacqueline for starting this conversation and also to those who have joined in.
Beautifully expressed Amina, so true what you have highlighted: “it is very important to work on those issues and close the door where evil dwells, as living with any level of anxiety in the body is very harming to yourself and all others.”
Thank you Jacqueline for writing about and bringing light to such an important part of life alcohol plays with us all in the world to be exposed.
Jacqueline, it is huge to appreciate the affect your parents drinking alcohol had on you as a child, the anxiousness you felt and the instability it brought to your childhood. Were we to measure the effects alcohol has on our children perhaps we would take a proper look at the role of alcohol in our society and stop allowing it to be glamourised and accepted as a normal part of everyday life.
We need to be more aware of the long lasting effects alcohol has on our children. This I feel is where we need to go in order to break the wall of ignorance around alcohol to stop allowing it to be glamourised and accepted as a normal part of every day life as you mentioned Stephen.
Such a great point Stephen. And to look at the force and powers behind it. We need as a society to ask why it is acceptable to alter ourselves into states that lead to abusive and violent behaviour, driving accidents, anti social behaviour, just to name a few. Society has had the sense to legislate against drugs, why not alcohol… what is going on?
I agree, a great comment Stephen, it would be very revealing if we could measure the effects alcohol has on our children, then society could make a choice based on the findings if it is OK to take children into a pub surrounded by people drinking alcohol. Legislation needs to be brought back to prohibit children in public houses (pubs) and, as you say Michelle, to go further than this by classifying alcohol as the drug that it is.
Hi Jane, it was easier to blame my mother which meant I could stay in my comfort because it was all her fault… by accessing the deeper layers of the anger I carried, it became so clear I didn’t want to feel the the anger towards myself and the truth which was: I did it all to myself… ouch!
Ouch and thank you for that one – I felt that – it’s all to easy to blame another. I really appreciate you sharing Jacqueline about the anger, something I have realised/am realizing too. The anger I carry is directed at me, but I have been avoiding feeling it.
Hi Gyl, yes, I know all about the avoiding feeling it part because it is a bitter/sweet pill to swallow, but the sweetness of the truth very quickly disolves the bitterness. To get to my truth, I had the loving support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and regular esoteric consultations.
Thank you Jacqueline, you have grounded something that can now be healed. This will do for drinking what second smoke does to others, that was never considered an issue.
That does feel to be true Steve, thank you for your insight.
Absolutely Steve
I think this is a great point Steve, to see it this way. ‘Passive drinking”
Spot on Steve. I was considering what a huge impact even one person drinking has on the lives of so many around them. And was reflecting on how it is considered ‘normal’ if someone is not being violent or drink-driving or being especially obnoxious. But this blog shows there is a huge undercurrent impact none the less.
Your observation captures all of this well. It took a long time for man to admit that we knew smoking was affecting everyone around us when we smoked. And now it is time to face up to the impacts our drinking has on everyone around us.
Here, Here!
This is such a beautiful and eloquent reminder Fiona and Jacqueline, thank you.
Thank you Jacqueline, I found what you said about alcohol impacting several generations very interesting, particularly as you did not become addicted to alcohol, but were still deeply affected by it. The story with my family over generations is different from yours, yet not, in that I too observe the ultra controlling hand of alcohol at play across the generations, and see how it has impacted even those who did not become addicted. My sense is that even those who did not end up drinking much if any themselves, had still ‘swallowed’ the family understanding that alcohol was a normal part of socialising/life. As a result they were not truly free of alcohol, and it was able to still hold sway in their families.
I also know that I have drunk heavily in front of young family members in years gone by, but also that what I now offer my family is the opportunity to come together and enjoy a meal and each other’s company without alcohol having any presence at that table at all, and for some of them I know that is a real blessing. They also get to see that living a life that does not in any way involve alcohol is an option, and can be normal.
So very true your words: My sense is that even those who did not end up drinking much if any themselves, had still ‘swallowed’ the family understanding that alcohol was a normal part of socialising/life. As a result they were not truly free of alcohol, and it was able to still hold sway in their families. And what a beautiful reflection Catherine you now offer your family, that is the blessing; your presence.
So true Jane. If you had told me 12 years ago that in a decade’s time I would be living free of drinking alcohol, I’d have probably laughed arrogantly in your face, most likely with a glass of something in hand. I can most appreciatively say that for 7 years now my body has been alcohol free. Perhaps the first year and a half was daunting when it came to social situations and my own lack of claiming my choice. But by consistency and caring choices for myself, dropping investing in what other people think of my choices, I can honestly say my life; alcohol free is normal – And I love it that way.
Thank you Catherine, for expressing so sweetly and powerfully, the gift of a meal without alcohol and the impact of normalising that, as a tide change from alcohol’s hold throughout society.
That’s quite a turn around for smoking isn’t it! I had forgotten how it used to be. It does make sense that when we stop normalising alcohol the patterns in society will change.
What an inspiring reflection and blessing you now offer Catherine.
This is a great article that exposes how alcohol even affects those not drinking and something we all need to wake up too.
Unfortunately in present day society it is actually considered normal and very acceptable to drink alcohol and for the most part if you refuse a drink people think there is something wrong with you. Thank you Jacqueline for spelling out the effects of this popular substance and sharing your own personal story.
Great point Jane about being more sociable without the alcohol. From the outside it would appear that alcohol makes us more sociable but in fact all it is doing is dropping our inhibitions and things we wouldn’t normally say come tumbling out and that’s usually followed by an apology the next morning, if you can actually remember what you said. For myself, by not drinking alcohol, whatever situation I am in I know it will be the whole and true ME that is presented.
That’s so true Elaine. Not drinking alcohol is seen by many as weird. I have been asked ‘how do you enjoy yourself?’ I know some people feel uncomfortable when I am in a social situation and I say I don’t drink alcohol. Some try to cajole me into having a drink and others will start telling me that they don’t drink much.
This is my experience too Debra. Some people can feel very uncomfortable by the fact that I don’t drink, it can be exposing and the choice they are making. This probably shows that deep down they truly know that alcohol is a bad choice.
I remember at my son’s 18th birthday party, my mother saying, “give her (that’s me) a drink and cheer her up”. I felt quiet hurt by her remarks at the time, but have the understanding now that people are more comfortable when you join them in their ‘comfort’. When you do not join them in their comfort, they feel uncomfortable because what gets exposed is that they have the same choice too, but resist it. So the person not drinking reflects ‘a new way’ as Ariana pointed out above.
Great point Jane. Yes it’s quite ironic – that we should be accused of being ‘anti-social’ for not consuming a poison that harms our bodies and alters our behaviour, often inducing very ‘anti-social’ behaviour. In giving up alcohol I have become very ‘pro-social’, love my own company and the company of others in a way I previously felt incapable of.
I do find it strange that alcohol can be considered normal in our society. When you look at all the violence, sexual abuse and accidents related to drinking it can be seen for what it is.
Thank-you Jacqueline for your honest account of how your family’s relationship with alcohol affected your life…”was perhaps more anger at myself for choosing to leave my innocence, my stillness, my knowingness; my beautiful, sweet divine self, the angelic child that I was”. I found this sentence truly touching as I can relate to this one myself. Alcohol is truly a poisonous and evil substance and the more this fact is out in the open the better it is for ALL of us.
Thank you Jacqueline for writing on a very important subject. We never get to hear a child’s perspective of what they see and feel when their parents have drunk alcohol and how this can disconnect them from Love. What’s equally as powerful is that you have recognised how hurt you felt and how you blamed your parents – to actually coming back now to who you are – seeing the bigger picture of it all and that you also had a role to play in your disconnection.
Yes brilliant Jacqueline, brilliant Fiona. For years I felt it was more safe to stay out of my body, I now realise this is a fake form of protection that never works. Being present is for sure the most important ingredient to staying safe. It really allows us to see how truly important staying present even in difficult times is.
Yes Samatha, you have hit it on the head and it’s the big trick if you like, for I too felt it was more safe to stay out of my body which in actual fact, the checking out led to all my issues in the first place, so yes, it is very much a fake form of protection. And the only antidote to feeling unsafe, is to ‘stay present in your body’. Brilliant Samantha!
Dear Jacqueline, such a powerful blog, and something I am sure many can relate to. Your words took me back to my own childhood experience of disconnecting from myself to not have to feel how incredibly unsafe I felt, the constant anxiety and fear. I too am learning to choose presence in my body over the anxiety and the emotions, and it is slow going after many years of the other, but I am finding it gets easier as I deepen my commitment to loving myself. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and it is beautiful that you are now healing from this experience in your life.
Hi Jacqueline, this is a very powerful and insightful article on the hidden effects that alcohol has even for someone like yourself that rarely drank alcohol. Thank you for sharing.
Fantastic Gill, that you have also broken the generation cycle! It was so funny to read when you picked up a wrong glass and got a sip of wine and it tasted like vinegar! I guess when you are a regular drinker you don’t taste the vinegar….because you are using the substance to numb in the first place.
Thank you for your honest sharing Jacqueline, it is so important that we re-address the true harm of alcohol, my experience of alcohol is of how unsteady it made me in my life and like Doug said, the impact it had on those around me when I drank. A poisonous comfort blanket for sure, our health and our lives are much richer and fuller without it.
Thank you Elizabeth!
Hi Michelle, thank you for sharing your observations, and you are right,
everyone is affected by alcohol, because it is accepted and is the norm
in society to drink and get drunk. As a child I couldn’t cope with it
as my article shares, and what baffled me the most was that I could
not understand ( as a child) why my parents choose drink that would
make them change completely and why they ‘needed’ it?
Yes jacqmcfadden04, like you as a child I never understood why my parents drunk. I always knew it was evil and harmful to your health. However, I grew up where it was seen to be the norm, especially in a European family. The priest even drunk wine ” the blood of christ”, before offering Holy Communion at mass. My mother believed wine was good for your health, as recommended from her doctor for her poor circulation. She offered it to me on many occasions saying it would make me strong.
I never believed her. I saw the effects it had on my parents when they drank wine in excess- they were not themselves, they were more aggressive, irrational, argumentative and abusive to others. My father was addicted to wine – he drank it like water, but was in denial of the harm it was causing his body until it was too late as he developed bowel and liver cancer, and subsequently died at 84 yrs old.
The harmful effects it had on me as a child was that I felt anxious all the time, never felt safe living at home, I was never in my body, believing it wasn’t safe to – I always wanted to run and hide.
And growing up and into adulthood, I felt I was a victim.
I now understand that I too was addicted to the emotions it created in my life, which I have carried for 52 yrs.
It’s so great you brought this up for discussion Jacqueline I feel people are probably discussing this one all round the world. This is a subject that has to be brought majorly to light, which you have so well done.
Great if they are Kevin!
I just felt wouldn’t it be amazing if parents asked their children how they really felt when Mum or Dad has a drink?
Indeed, that would be amazing Michelle, and if that did happen, and the parents continued to drink, I got this funny image/picture where I saw all the children gathering together getting on a platform so that their voices would be heard. This image certainly got me laughing… (kids informing thier parents).
Yes cute image Jacqueline. I also think what you said about their ‘voices being heard’ is very poignant. From my own experience I feel there may be many children out there today who would so welcome the opportunity to be asked what they really feel when their parents drink alcohol.
Your comments reminded me of the advert in the UK with children telling parents how they felt about them smoking. I seem to recall mention of legislation against smoking in cars. Surely smoking doesn’t have some of the far reaching effects of alcohol which this blog and comments seem to reveal?
As I was reading this blog I could see how interviews with children when they had the freedom to express how they felt when their parents drank alcohol would make a great documentary – along with presenting the science. The only thing I wonder is how many children would want to out their parents in front of others? We are usually quite protective of our parents when we are young and will go to great lengths to protect them.
Indeed Michelle, so often I hear children talking about how they feel like their parents are really not there when they are drinking or are not really themselves and how they miss them.
This is so refreshing to read a blog with honesty and truth – your experience of what the impact of alcohol has on you and others. I can relate to every point/fact that you have made and feel it is extremely important to address these issues of alcohol and the poison that it is. I have worked in the hospitality trade for over 20 years and find it extraordinary that people can drink to excess and don’t even batter an eye lid as this is the norm in most places. I was one of those people but I got to a point where I could’t function after drinking alcohol. I did not like the feeling of not being me.
Thank you for this beautiful expose. I grew up in a family which was affected by alcohol, and can relate first hand to the impact this had on those immediately and those more distantly connected. I observed and experienced the deep emotional hurt that can be carried around throughout life, and the impact alcohol has on how individuals see themselves, and the lack of self-worth that can result. At the time in order to deal with this myself, I chose to dull by indulging in drugs and to a lesser extent alcohol as well. It is now however an amazing testament to the healing power of simply saying ‘no, this is not who I choose to be anymore’ that I am where I am now.
Well said Jacqueline, thank you for sharing soo openly and exposing some of the knock on and ‘un-seen’ effects of alcohol.
Thank you Jaqueline an amazing blog that deeply exposes the seen and unseen damage of alcohol. I remember as a child being so confused and upset at seeing my parents drunk. As you describe, I was also filled with fear and felt very upset at the transformation before me. Many memories and feelings came back to me while reading your words and I have realised that I have held much fear and anxiety in my body related to this time. Your comments around you not being addicted to alcohol but the emotions attached to it, are hugely insightful. That the energy takes hold by being around it and the behaviour it produces – I could really feel the truth in this. This has really helped me to feel deeper into how alcohol has affected my life, thank you.
Beautiful and honest sharing Anne-Marie. I was very touched when I read: “many memories and feelings came back to me while reading your words and I have realised that I have held much fear and anxiety in my body related to this time.” This same anxiousness I felt never left me, followed me everywhere… Anxiousness is a very common theme/feeling in all the sharing here around alcohol, maybe because it is from the anxiousness, everything else can enter…
So revealing and so sobering to reveal what I was doing to my family for so long by drinking alcohol regularly, and to excess. This really stops me in my tracks. Thank you Jacqueline and thank you to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for unmasking the extent of this poison.
Thank you Michael, your comments were a healing for me. I lived with a gentle man who drank and to hear you say the article stopped you in your tracks is showing the extent Jacqueline’s article has had on us all. Thanks indeed to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Thank you Jacqueline for such a clear amazing truths on the effects of alcohol in so many ways and generations effected by it .
It made me contemplate deeply and feel my own experiences with alcohol and despite alcohol being around me in my life I found could not tolerate it in my body and hated how it tasted smelt and everything about it. However what I am now feeling form your sharing, is the anxiousness I have lived in from feeling others who drank alcohol around me, how they changed and were not there and the emptiness I felt and that it was this that I did not want to feel. So I checked out from my feelings and this was just the same as if I drank the alcohol myself.
Wow what a revelation for us all, you and everyone commenting have opened up for us to see and take responsibility for our own lives.
Such an honest share Tricia, thank you. At the time, I could not understand why my parents would choose to drink as they completely changed and were ‘no longer there for me’, so I felt all alone, and just like you I did not want to feel there was no-one there for me, and the emptiness because how would I survive?
“So I checked out from my feelings and this was just the same as if I drank the alcohol myself.”
Brilliant Tricia!
Jacqueline, thank you so very much for writing about your healing the affects of alcohol. I have witnessed these same effects you describe in at least 3 generations of my own family – absolute devastation. I had nearly exactly the same reactions that you describe here; I did not use alcohol at all and thought that this somehow made me better than those who did. I realize now that I did not escape the many harmful emotions that surround alcohol use, and this is something that once the alcohol is gone from the picture (as in sobriety) we all are left with the emotional addiction, which takes many more years of honesty and healing.
Your commitment to healing those effects is inspiring. I have felt all the same things in my own body as you describe here, but hadn’t yet seen that they may have come from the state of the family home that I grew up in. It is a much clearer picture now, and there is much healing to be done. Alcohol is truly a poison, and it affects us all. The damage done is far deeper than many would care to admit. It is most definitely worth talking about.
Wow Jacqueline, this is such an incredible blog.
THIS NEEDS TO BE PRINTED ON THE FRONT PAGE OF EVERY NEWSPAPER….I felt you could have been writing for me as I read and then realised you were writing for probably at least half the western world with our culture of drinking. You have spoken up about what we know but do not talked about.
My childhood, feelings and experiences were very similar but when I reached the drinking age, I joined in. It was what “I knew”. How to be in this world. I partook in all the cliches used about drinking but eventually became more honest and admitted that I used to feel very sad when going out with people, because we didn’t truly connect. Pubs and bars were noisy and smelly and I didn’t enjoy it. But I went. I went because I wanted to be accepted, because I too had shut down and shut out the world from the lack of warmth I felt growing up as a child.
I too am very appreciative and grateful to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for inspiring me. I no longer have alcohol in my life and it has changed so much for the better and feels more true.
Thank you for this very honest account and to those who have left comments ahead of me on your own personal experience.
Thank you Michelle for sharing your experience. What is becoming clear with your comment, and Mariette’s, just before and the many other comments is that; it is truly loving towards self (and everyone around you) to say NO to alcohol because the evidence is crystal clear how your life changes/improves for the better and how amazing ‘yourself’ can feel without the props!
Whilst reading this, I started to ponder on the far reaching and lasting effects of alcohol. Then I realised just how many other addictive behaviours I have indulged in, over working, blaming, criticising, feeling sorry for myself, (and drawing others in) to name but a few. How damaging are they, though at a physical level their effect may not be as readily seen? So Jacqueline, yes, whatever the addiction to a behaviour, and the emotions around it, a big call to be aware of the effect on myself and those around me every single day. Thank you.
I can really relate to what you say about ‘joining in’ Michelle. It was always about being part of the crowd. I never used to like pubs as apart from being noisy and smelt of cigarettes they always had this ‘heavy’ feeling and if you wanted to fit in you had to go where your mates went.
So true Tim about the heavy feeling. In truth they never felt like a truly warm and inviting place. Which to me indicates the extent of our shutting down and selling out to ourselves, in that we did not honour what we felt, but went along to join in and fit in.
This is so true Monica, I think many people when they first start to drink find it repulsive, but unfortunately the sugar in it quickly makes it addictive and it then becomes a vicious cycle which continues to impact us negatively. Only when we are able to truly reflect and stop are we able to get to the real reason as to why we started drinking in the first place!
I totally agree Michelle stories like this need to be given the press they deserve. Only yesterday I saw another article in the independent when some “expert” was saying that it was ok to drink a bottle of wine a day. This is so highly irresponsible and in my own experience and the experience of many certainly not true. Unfortunately that article will now impose on others that it is ok to drink and now it’s ok to drink more than we originally thought. It does not inspire us to look deeper into the damaging consequences of alcohol nor does it inspire us to heal the root cause of what is making us drink in the first place. This kind of reporting is seriously damaging to our society yet it continues to happen. We need more blogs like this Jacqueline, saying from real lived experiences how it actually is.
Well said Kevin! Thank you Jacqueline for bringing attention to the true harmful nature of alcohol. The more aware I become of why people drink, the harm it causes them and all those they love, the more confounded I am that it is still so flippantly accepted by most people. Many individuals I know covet and protect the image/reputation of the ritual of drinking as if it were their best friend… but we all know it is, at best, an abusive one. If we get honest, we all know that a truly loving society would not and could not condone nor protect alcohol as an acceptable way to live.
Beautifully expressed Jo!
Absolutely!
What a strong story you have written on how alcohol can affect our relationships and those who we are connected to. I used to drink alcohol and as I felt the first traces of it affecting my body I could also sense the ‘change’ in me. Instead of being myself I became louder and more forceful and not at all like the person I knew was also inside of me, who was much more timid and shy. I had already started to give alcohol away before I met Serge Benhayon and heard his presentations, however Serge helped me to understand more deeply the affects that it had on us as human beings, and confirmed to me that I did not want to hurt myself any further by continuing to drink.
Wow wow wow, this is an amazing blog and what an eye opener. ‘You didn’t get addicted to alcohol but to emotions’ – what powerful words. Yes, alcohol is a poison and deep down we all know this. The question is: do we want to feel and accept this? I stopped drinking alcohol over three years ago because I could feel what it did to my body and how I was checking out after one glass of wine. Not drinking alcohol any more has been one of many great supporting and self loving choices I have made up till now. Thank YOU Jacqueline for your expression and thank you Universal Medicine for bringing the truth.
Hey Mariette, not only powerful words but it was a powerful insight for me which led to the article that I felt had to be shared. Loved to read your sentence: “Not drinking alcohol any more has been one of many great supporting and self loving choices I have made up till now.” This is indeed true for everyone who makes the choice to give up alcohol completely.
Jacqueline, that is so clear, you have shown me much about my own life and the influences on it through alcohol, not my own, I rarely drank it, but people around me who were not alcoholic but did drink alcohol, especially at special occasions. After my parents had had a few drinks every evening I could feel a different energy coming through them that did not seem to belong to them, and raging arguments would ensue that caused distress and anxiety for the whole family, and like you I recognise that is where the anxiousness I have carried with me through my life came from. And still I have to remind myself again and again that the anxiousness is not mine and my true essence is love, that is greater than all that emotion… During my first experience of Hogmanay in Scotland I witnessed and suffered from the mass consumption of alcohol going on all around me. Maybe this is why a lot of people join in? It is harder to stay sober and be in the midst of all the effects, than give way and lose yourself in the illusion of having fun. But then, alcohol has become a god in a society that refuses to listen to the warnings about its effects. Your blog is so powerful that I feel it is important to share it to all those I know. The change needs to come from personal choices not outside rules.
Hi Joan, on reading your comment it is clear you had a similar experience as you describe how you felt a different energy coming through your parents that did not seem to belong to them, as like my parents who became unrecognisable with drinking alcohol – and as a child it is frightening to see, which is how the anxiousness might start. This sentence stood out: “alcohol has become a god in a society that refuses to listen to the warnings about its effects.” I agree, however, there are a lot of people saying NO to alcohol now, there may be a long way to go, but it does feel it is shifting, slowly shifting…
What a powerful and beautiful article thank you for sharing your experience. An article that will touch many lives. How much damage alcohol can do through family and friends who drink, without having an understanding of the impacts energetically of the poisons consumed. Thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the Student body more is being shared and understood.
Fantastically exposing blog on the real effects of alcohol showing how it can effect us both physically and emotionally. I had tears in my eyes when you spoke of not feeling safe and the anxiousness held in your body. So many children everyday are experiencing this. Too many people still live with the belief that alcohol is ok, that it’s just one of life’s coping mechanisms. In your blog Jacqueline, you have exposed it for the true evil it is and how it effects the much wider circle not just the drinker. The damaging effect of alcohol on society is immensely detrimental, though most still choose to bury their heads in the sand about the real consequences of such a drink.
Dear Samantha, the not feeling safe has been with me all my life, it’s this not feeling safe that creates the anxiousness and from there everything else can enter…. all the other destructive emotions etc. And yes, the sad thing is so many children everywhere are experiencing anxiousness who then grow up to be anxious adults who then have children and grand children… and the circle goes on repeating until someone breaks the cycle which Matilda mentioned above.
What an amazing article. You present something I had never considered, that the effects of alcohol can continue through the generations of a family, even though the physical drinking of alcohol isn’t what gets passed on. I find what your saying really interesting and it actually explains a lot of what we see happening in families and younger generations. Thank you so much for sharing.
Yes Doug, alcohol is a great device to numb ourselves so we do not have to feel our choices and take responsibility. The 40 years you were a user, I had 40 years or so addicted to alcohol’s side kick: emotions… the same thing in the end.
It is so awesome to bring up these different addictions, ones that often we don’t see as an addiction but being emotional certainly is one I can relate to, the drama of life. It is great to let go of this up and down way of living to a much steadier, calmer and more loving way of living.
I agree Doug, I tried so hard to learn to drink alcohol even though every time my body hated it, and my boyfriend would have to practically carry me home after half a glass of wine, I still persevered, and even graduated to a small nip of high quality single malt scotch, so long as I was at home so I could collapse straight into bed immediately after as my legs went to jelly and I passed out. All this just because the world seemed to think it was a normal thing, so there must be something wrong with me for not being able to handle it !
Of course I also learnt the numbing out effects were sometimes welcome too but at the same time unsettling. It was such a relief to give it up.
Thank goodness for the voices finally coming out about the true poison of alcohol and the huge damage it does, and the toll it takes on health, relationships and families – and how great to hear that so many people are feeling so much better about never touching it.
Me too Annie – I hated the taste of it and had to camouflage it with sweet mixers (double trouble). Reflecting back now I can so clearly see how I was caught up in looking for acceptance and recognition.
I can so relate to this process Annie of learning to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes even though my body hated and reacted to it so much. Initially I persevered in order to feel accepted and belong only to realise years later that all I belonged to was a group of equally self medicating others.
Powerful article Jacqueline and so true. My parents had a bar in their house. Living an ex-pat life abroad, there were a lot of parties and alcohol was a big part of entertaining. I remember being told to have a drink to relax if showing signs of anxiousness! When they returned to the UK they fulfilled their dream to run an English pub. All through my childhood I disliked the effect alcohol had on people, particularly how loud and aggressive some would become and oh those hangovers I experienced! I married a gentle and charismatic man who used alcohol to relax and he became an alcoholic. It had a devastating effect on our family and friends.
When I first came to the courses run by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I felt resistance at the idea that alcohol might not be supportive as of course I had been told it helped me relax! Not long after, my wise body reacted to wine and refused to listen to my mind and those old ideals and beliefs. The anxiousness subsided and with help from practitioners trained by Serge Benhayon, I have begun the road to recovery to find the true me and am discovering I am pretty amazing, without those so called props that had such devastating effects on my life.
Wow Lorraine: “I remember being told to have a drink to relax if showing signs of anxiousness!” Yet, it is the drinking that often creates the anxiousness in the first place. But this remark highlights how society, how we all have been so blind to this poison because we choose to numb and not to feel our past choices… And great point, once we let go of our props whatever they may be, we do begin to discover how amazing we really are!
We are definitely totally amazing without those props and it is so joyful to feel this lightness of being everyday!
This is an amazing blog, and one that needs to be shared. We focus on the physical impact of alcohol but the emotional abuse to the person and the families affected by it needs to be exposed to a far greater degree than it is currently. The way you describe your life as a result of the steps away from your preciousness and how that was symptomised through anxiousness and anger is really clear and these links need to be made for changes to be made in society.
I agree Vanessa it would be fantastic if more people were sharing their own stories of the harmful effects of alcohol. I have come to realise how alcohol helped me bury my issues deeper, and the wider scale effects on all those around me.
The sad thing about being angry with parents for not seeing who we truly are is that we can harden and close ourselves off so that no-one gets to feel us, including ourselves. When you mention the impact through four generations, it highlights the damage done through alcohol, even for those not addicted to alcohol itself, but to the emotional dramas that play out in our lives.
“The sad thing about being angry with parents for not seeing who we truly are is that we can harden and close ourselves off so that no-one gets to feel us, including ourselves”. Well said Carmel, now that we have this awareness we can break the cycle for generations to come.
“The sad thing about being angry with parents for not seeing who we truly are is that we can harden and close ourselves off so that no-one gets to feel us, including ourselves”. Spot on Carmen, I became so hard, and shut down ( which I thought was a form of protection) that I could not feel myself or my feelings, so true what you expressed. I could only start to change this when as Ariana expressed: “It was only when I was able to take responsibility for my choices that I could break such a hold over me. And now… anger has no pull or power in my life”.
So true Carmel. This is often seen as a bitter pill to swallow, but in truth it is not, my own experience is that it is very freeing to acknowledge how I have blamed others for my own choices. This has come from me choosing to look at things openly and honestly.
Thank you Ariana for sharing that – I get angry at my dad way too often and easily. I’m feeling it’s time to take responsibility and let go of anger too. I can feel how exhausting and harming it is on not only our bodies but that of others too and just stops us loving ourselves and people in full. I can feel the huge concrete barrier it puts up.
Thank you Jacqueline for so honestly sharing your experience with alcohol and the effect it has had on generations of your family. I grew up with teetotal parents because of my father’s negative experiences of alcohol abuse in his family but the effects of this lingered and I was addicted to emotions and drama as a way of not looking at my disconnection from life.
I chose to marry someone who abused alcohol and felt enormous guilt when I brought my daughter into this situation. Many years ago in the midst of an argument my ex-husband accused me of being worse than him because I wouldn’t acknowledge the damage that my drinking had done. I was outraged because I felt that I was the one that had been holding everything together but I can now recognise the truth in what he said. I felt superior to him and self-righteous about not being addicted to alcohol but my behaviour was equally damaging and much more insidious.
Since attending my first Universal Medicine presentation almost 5 years ago I have not drunk alcohol and have gradually been healing from the effects of alcohol on myself and others. I have been learning to take responsibility for all my actions and not blame others for their choices and the impact on me.
Humanity needs to wake up and recognise the damaging and far-reaching affects of alcohol and how ‘it robs us of everything that is pure, innocent and divine.’
Dear Helen, I too felt so superior to my parents, because I did not have an alcohol addiction, ha! Well I got shot down in flames when the truth got revealed! And as you say, my emotional behaviour was just as damaging to my children. I began attending Universal Medicine only 3 years ago, which has helped me to stop blaming others and take responsibility for all my past choices: true healing indeed!
Thank you for sharing.
Dear Jacqueline, thank you for your honest sharing. This is a great exposure of the effect of alcohol in families and the long term damage that ensues. I relate very well to what you have presented and have seen it play out similarly with many who I know. It is time it came to the fore in society so we can address this issue with more responsibility and honesty.
Thank you Jacqueline, part of my job involves working with individuals who are looking to stop drinking alcohol – your article is a real inspiration and a different and true picture of what really goes on. When you say “I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself.” I can really see how this relates to so many things. A really supportive and honest account and reminds me the affects of any action I do can last much longer than just the immediate and affect many more people.
Hi David, your job sounds really interesting and great to hear if my article supports what you do in any way! It has taken me a long time to feel safe, to feel safe in my body and to be ‘here’, to want to be here! I could only heal this with the support I have had from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine by attending his many courses and presentations, in that way I have been blessed.
Wow thank you Jacqueline for this very honest and powerful blog.
“Feeling anxious in my body took me away from the innocence and stillness within me.” On reading this I had a profound realisation. Although alcohol was not a significant factor in my childhood I had the same experience but in my case the trigger was my mother’s emotional, mental instability and her medication. Like your parents Jacqueline, they were like two different people. I wonder what other triggers other people have?
Thanks for sharing this Jonathon, and what a beautiful insight you’ve had! And it is so great to read
all the comments – to bring this topic out and open for further discussion and awareness.
Personally, Jonathan, my drinking triggered when I was divorced to fill emptiness that I was feeling and give me confidence. I gradually began to see the damaged I was doing to myself, physically and emotionally, and that when I had had drink I realised this wasn’t the real me anymore, so the drinking gradually subsided, it wasn’t until I found Universal Medicine that I finally stopped, never to touch another drop as I have seen what damage it does to self and others.
Thanks for sharing your story Jacqueline. What a huge subject that so needs to be more addressed. Alcohol related illnesses in the Uk cost the NHS billions this is not taking into account all the indirect cases resulting from the knock on effect. I was severely addicted to alcohol for many years until I came to Universal Medicine. I gradually felt the need for alcohol less and less until after about four years of attending Serge Benhayons presentations I completely stopped. I am truly grateful to Serge, that my daughter has never seen me with drink in my hand let alone being drunk. Your story is a good reminder that when someone drinks they are not only harming themselves but also anyone in their path from the drunk driver who kills or injures someone,to the wife beater or the parents that don’t provide a safe loving environment for their children.
This most damaging drug is now becoming more and more unacceptable but still has such a long way to go before it is treated as the poison that it is.
Beautifully said Jacqueline and Kev, returning from the destruction of alcohol at whatever level is amazing and inspirational. Truly lighting the way for humanity. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
I agree Kevin, alcohol is a poison and slowly but surely it will begin to be seen on a wider scale as such. You also touch on some big topics, the the amount of money that gets poured into health care to help people who have been directly or indirectly affected by alcohol is enormous, as well as all the violence and car accidents linked to alcohol. This alone should make alcohol seen as a plague not a social norm.
I agree with you both, it is crazy apart from just the financial knock on effects alcohol has, also the emotional effects that affect us all either directly or indirectly. It robs us of someone’s true light, and by doing so opens the door for any ill energy or force to come through them.
Your last sentence James hits it on the head: “It robs us of someone’s true light, and by doing so opens the door for any ill energy or force to come through them.” I saw this with my parents every single time, and is what happened to me being addicted to the emotions that play out with alcohol – So very true.
Its something I have observed with friends when they have started to drink and something when I reflect back I see that I also did myself. Alcohol changes us, it changes the way we interact, it alters the brain, and our perception, it is after all a ‘poison’ for the body. Going back 50 years after dinner people would say or still do with reference to drink: ‘what is your poison?’ – so we all know deep down it affects us, we just conveniently choose not to be fully aware of the effects it is having on our body.
Hi Kevin, I was so touched to read your words: ” I am truly grateful to Serge, that my daughter has never seen me with drink in my hand let alone being drunk”. Wow, what an inspiration you are! And that is another topic on its own, the cost to the NHS in relation to alcohol related illness! As mentioned in my article i was diagnosed with breast cancer – my treatment lasting almost a year and at what cost, I have no idea!
So well said Kevin and how beautiful that your daughter has never seen you consume alcohol. True love in action.
Exactly Kevin fantastic points raised here. I have come to realise that alcohol for me feels like a poison in my body. I didn’t like the feeling of not being present and sometimes I would feel like I was being completely taken away from reality which really was not nice for me or anyone near me!
So true Kevin the cost of alcohol related illnesses and injuries probably cost more than anyone could estimate. It has involvement at every level. The unfortunate thing its that when we look at alcohol we only see what we want to see (so we look for the most damaging, harming effects) and measure the rest, rather than seeing the truth of the whole picture.
Your comment triggered tears in me…
I had not felt safe as a child, but because I knew that I couldn’t go into blame (tried that for many years, and it didn’t change a thing!) I now realise, I had simply buried the hurt!
It feels amazing to finally feel safe enough to begin to release the buried tears!
Thank you Kevin!
This is so powerful and great you have brought this up for discussion. It has made me realise that I had not fully appreciated the impact that my drinking had had on others; ooh, big ouch. Also how I used it to distract myself from taking responsibility and dealing with life.
I agree Jonathan big ouch. I shudder to think. I only thought I was hurting myself and even then I had no idea of the full extent.
Yeah, good one Jonathan Xx
Wow, a powerful article. This is a real eye opener to the extent that drinking alcohol has on everyone.
Jacqueline thank you for sharing how alcohol has affected your life. I can relate to much of what you have described the emotions, the checking out the not wanting to be here and the blame and how that filters into every part of my life and the knock on affect that has. You have portrayed the far reaching affects of alcohol can have and it is great that you are opening up the discussion because alcohol is a poison and it does change peoples’ lives and it definitely robs us of everything that is pure and innocent and divine.
Hi Alison, the checking out and not wanting to be here has been huge for me throughout all my life.
This lack of commitment to life has impacted all areas of my life in such a massive negative way giving me so many struggles with work, relationships, people. How my life has changed and continues to change since healing these issues!
Hi Jacqueline I know exactly what you mean on that one – how much changes when we choose to commit in full to life.
As a woman who grew up surrounded by alcohol, it is so liberating and healing to read these comments and have confirmed what the child always knew…that, indeed alcohol robs us of the Divine!
Thank you Jacqueline for this very VERY inspiring article. I love the depth of honesty you bring from sharing from your own experiences.
It is a joy to see and feel how the choices you have chosen to make for yourself over the past few years have brought you back towards your true self.
You are like a beautiful blossom that is unfolding its petals to reveal the most beautiful and glorious woman within. I love it – keep blooming!
Oh Stephanie, you brought tears to my eyes…
And every time we meet, it always feels like ‘coming home’!
So clear and simple: until someone chooses to break the cycle, the damage of alcohol repeats through generations. Thank you, Jacqueline for sharing your story and for demonstrating the impact of taking responsibility and breaking the cycle.
So true Matilda.
Thank you Matilda and yes I am, I am breaking the cycle of addiction to alcohol that has been in my family for goodness knows how long, ( it feels a very long time!) that has been passed down through the generations. This is such an important point you make, because for me being aware of this, I
immediately feel it has all been worth it, that is, it has been worth it to face my own deep sadness and pain that I have been carrying for years (perhaps centuries!) if it breaks the cycle of addiction in my family.
Absolutely!
Dear Jacqueline, your very insightful post resonates deeply with me. At present alcohol is perhaps the most insidious poison in our society, as it is both a socially and legally accepted substance and yet as you say, two alcohol drinking parents can affect up to four generations. I too can bear witness to the shocking changes it brings about in people, I saw it happen in my father and I experienced it happening within me. We have yet to understand the true effects alcohol has on us, both physically and emotionally and we need to begin asking true questions – what is happening inside someone to make them want to poison themselves? What are they attempting to drown out? Thank you for your sharing your life experience with such honesty and love, it is a great inspiration.
Thank you Rowena for your share and when I read this sentence: ” two alcohol drinking parents can affect up to four generations”, it pretty much says it all and gives a clear outline of the depth of the damage caused by drinking alcohol. Oh and great questions:
“What is happening inside someone to make them want to poison themselves? What are they attempting to drown out?”
Perhaps another article on these questions alone? When i think of my parents I feel they felt as I did, they also probably felt unable to remain open and stay in their innocence and love, again coming back to the generations before them, which is what Matilda’s comments touch on below!
I agree Rowena, I’ve watched members of my family drink heavily through their whole lives thinking its OK, legal, allowed. And that made it OK for me, and others around me to follow the same pattern. When I was younger it would have seemed unnatural not to drink alcohol! And so I did to excess.
The beautiful thing is that both my wife and I stopped drinking when we started studying with Universal Medicine, and our kids who are teenagers now, have absolutely no interest in alcohol whatsoever.
How gorgeous Simon. What a living testament you and your wife are that we can offer a point of difference to our children (both of our own family and the world around us).
This is a very powerful blog. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. I was particularly struck by what you said about not being addicted to alcohol but still being addicted to emotions. This feels very true. My family has much history of alcohol and drug addiction. I have remained clear of those addictions yet I have felt all the coldness and lovelessness that you describe. It is the lack of trust, the lack of consistency, the lack of a foundation of LOVE that affected me so strongly. That caused me to shut down, to go into a cold, coping, survival mode (my own ‘addiction’) And now as I am returning to the true and boundless love that I am, I can still feel the lack of trust in me. I will still occasionally be drawn to the drama, to the emotions, to protect myself from those hurts and from the pain of my own choices within it all. Because despite everything that was going on around me, it was still my choice to turn away from my true self.
This is an ingrained behaviour from years of being surrounded by so much emptiness. It is healing and everyday I have the choice to build on my own immense love.
Put super simply, I’m just not used to living amongst and within LOVE.
In the last eight years, since discovering the teachings of Universal Medicine, that is what I have been learning to do.
To live amongst and within LOVE
Whatever the poison of choice, the ripple effects of these addictions are felt way beyond the person who is consuming. As you have so honestly shared. Thank you Jacqueline.
Dear Otto, when i was reading your comment, I had the thought, we could have been in the same family… yes, it was the coldness and lovelessness that affected me the most, and was the most damaging. “It is the lack of trust, the lack of consistency, the lack of a foundation of LOVE that affected me so strongly. That caused me to shut down, to go into a cold, coping, survival mode (my own ‘addiction’)”. This is exactly how I felt and I felt that in order to survive I had to shut down too and ‘fit in’ to the family, for how else would I cope, how else would I survive. And as you also mentioned this is the pain we don’t want to feel because it was our choice to shut down. I smiled when I read your comment, “I’m just not used to living amongst and within LOVE.” I’m with you on that one! I would like to share with you that several months later after writing the article, and in a session with an esoteric practitioner, I got the insight that I closed off from my feelings because I just didn’t want to feel and could not cope with the fact that: ‘there was no one there for me – no-one – I am all alone” This is the precise moment, panic set in, anxiousness set in, and from there, every thing else that I have shared above. On reading your comments I have felt comforted in some strange way, as in, there is some one else (You) who has shared the same experience. Thank you Otto for your honest sharing.
wow, Ariana, just reading that one line: ‘It is something I am still, at 60, learning to let go of’, (the addictive emotions) only serve to highlight how long lasting the effects of alcohol truly are, until we choose differently…
Me neither Ariana.
“Whatever the poison of choice, the ripple effects of these addictions are felt way beyond the person who is consuming”, absolutely true Otto, be it alcohol, or emotions (a very potent drug and very addictive). Isn’t it truly amazing that if we choose to honestly look at ourselves and our behaviours we can stop blaming, take responsibility, heal our hurts and reflect to the world that we can, in fact, like you say “build our own immense love”, and be the love that we truly are
I can relate to much of what you say Otto and Jacqueline, “it was the coldness and lovelessness that affected me the most” and “It is the lack of trust, the lack of consistency, the lack of a foundation of LOVE that affected me so strongly. That caused me to shut down, to go into a cold, coping, survival mode (my own ‘addiction’)”. Yes, I certainly did this, and am learning to stop this pattern with the love and support of Serge Benhayon and practitioners trained by him, as well as attending Universal Medicine courses. I may add too, the big ouch was also the fact that I chose to shut down and likewise did not want to feel this and the consequences.
For me, I now know and feel that the only way to be and feel safe is to stay present in my body, and express from there. Thank you Lorraine.
Really well expressed Otto, I completely agree with what you have said, especially in the last line. The ripple effect in families that come from some sort of addiction is far bigger than we give it credit for, which is why this blog is so powerful. It exposes the true destructive nature of alcohol, drugs, violence, or what ever else is at play in families. Being able to re-imprint the generation old patterns with love, is truly amazing, because that will also have a ripple effect, but in the best way possible.
I loved the way you expressed that you are learning to live amongst and within Love! I am in that club too! And it feels deeply honouring to state it that way rather than continuing to beat myself up for not yet being ‘there’!
Thank You for sharing
I was fortunate as I grew up in an alcohol free house. It was only at Christmas my grandmother would have a sherry, there was champaign at lunch and that was pretty much it. So I haven’t experienced what you have shared. But some of the young pupils around the age of six I have taught have shared how they feel when their parents drink. They feel sad that their parents don’t feel like their parents anymore, and they don’t like the way their parents feel when coming back drunk from the pub. They feel insecure about being loved and they don’t understand why their parents would choose the pub over being themselves with them. Through your blog, it’s great to begin to open up to how children feel when parents and adults in their lives drink.
Hi Rachel, you feel such a deep sadness as a child to see your parents drinking alcohol and then to feel and see your parents become something else entirely, and have no clue or understanding as to why they would choose that? The second layer of sadness felt is exactly as the children described: “They feel insecure about being loved and they don’t understand why their parents would choose the pub over being themselves with them”. The sadness is two fold, and I feel we carry this deep sadness for the rest of our lives, I just realised that this moment, and at the same time I can feel that sadness is no longer there, as I have so much more understanding of my choices and that of my parents; true healing indeed.
Hi Jacqueline, How wonderful that you no longer carry the sadness that you once carried and that you have true understanding of your choices and your parents. It must be an intense experience for children with parents who drink. It is interesting reading the follow up comments to your blog that many felt the same as you when they were little.
Thanks for sharing. Alcohol has so many ways in which it has effects on people’s lives, some obvious and others so hidden. It is great that we all start to discuss this openly as we can all learn from and with each other.
Well said Rosie.
I agree Rosie, we can all learn from each other.
So true Rosie
So true Rosie. The damaging effects of alcohol are so obvious. It is frequently excused by being termed ‘alcohol abuse’ implying that alcohol is ok as long as you don’t drink too much. As this article so clearly reveals there are many hidden damaging effects of alcohol even with what is considered as ‘responsible’ drinking of alcohol.
Great point Mary, if it’s not classed as ‘alcohol abuse’ it’s not seen as an abuse either to our own body or an abuse to any one else around at that time. Like the countless number of children around the world who are as Jaqueline says, robbed of everything that is pure and innocent and divine. This is a huge abuse.
Yes Rosie there have been some amazing insights and sharing through this blog. Each comment shows a deep understanding of the effects of alcohol some by direct experience some through the experience of others. This is showing us there is a need for more discussions like this out in our society. Currently drinking alcohol is seen as the normal thing to do and it is rarely questioned. With conversations like this we allow for another perspective and show our young there is another way.
I agree Rosie, and its the hidden effects that cause the most damage. The peer pressure on the young to drink is quite intense, all in the guise of being social. With more articles like this it allows this subject to be addressed in a way thats not making demands that you shouldn’t drink but giving a better understanding as to why we seek alcohol in the first place.
Great point Tim.
Indeed the hidden effects include not being able to be who and all we are with others.
Rosie. I agree there needs to be more openness on the effects alcohol has on the body. Open discussions on it’s effect, would teach us all something.
Absolutely Rosie 🙂
The effect of alcohol on our bodies and its harmful ripple effect in the world around us fuels a variety of social issues such as reduced work productivity, violent behaviours, domestic violence and exacerbate mental health issues to name a few. We all need to wake up to the fact that alcohol is not as healthy as we think it is and honestly discussing with each other both the obvious and hidden issues of alcohol is the first step. Well said Rosie.
Thank you Jacqueline, I am reminded of my son saying to me at age 5 “it doesn’t feel like you love us anymore Mummy”. This was shortly after I started taking recreational drugs, it was a real shock and one I haven’t forgotten. I didn’t stop taking the drugs until a few years later – letting go of guilt was hard as I couldn’t undo what I had done, only start again. It hurts to see the issues that both my children have as a result of the drug journey they took with me, but all I can do now is be who I am and allow them to heal in their own time. I asked my son the other day (he is now 19) did he feel I loved him? And he said yes, he knows I’m always there for him so some healing has already taken place.
Dear Alison, oh the guilt I have felt for not being present with my children, but when I passed the guilt, I discovered a deeper sadness that I carried all this time, which is related to: why was I not fully there for my children when they were so young, innocent and open and needed warmth and love that I was
unable to provide them. It felt heavy because I had let them down in such a big way! I had failed them.
However, now my children and my grandson are benefiting from my reflection of just being me, being love, which is healing us all…. really beautiful…. so yes keep being YOU!
Jacqueline reading your comments and article fills me with such inspiration, you clearly are walking your talk it pulsates off the page! Sometimes it seems too simple that just us being us is enough but it always is!
Dear Jacqueline, what a very open and honest account of the effect alcohol had on your life, not only as a young child, but well into adulthood, and as you share, spanning up to 4 generations. It made me consider the responsbility we all have, not only for ourselves, but to others. When I look back now to when I used to drink alcohol, I did not even consider that not only was it affecting ‘my’ body, but that it may be / was affecting another’s body, nor that this affect could be something that is held in the body for decades. Thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have realised that ‘everything’ I choose to do, or not to do, affects not only me, but others also, and with that has come accepting and understanding that I am responsible for my choices. I no longer drink alcohol, but have realised it is not only the choice of whether or not to drink alcohol that is my responsibility, but that this applies to ‘all’ my choices… what I choose to eat, when I choose to sleep, how I work, how I am with people, how I drive etc. etc.
I love what you share when you say “A commitment to life and self can bring about true healing for those who choose it, so that we are not forever at the mercy of the damaging effects of alcohol and our past choices…” I too have found this to be true, and the great thing is, that true healing such as this is not only healing for ourselves, but allows us to offer this same reflection to others, who then also in turn, have the reflection of being able to choose for themselves. Thank you for your inspiring blog about the widespread and long term effects that drinking alcohol can have, as well as the responsibility and the true healing that is possible when we choose love.
Dear Angela, only when I began writing did I realise how alcohol and its affects had indeed affected 4 generations of my family; was a real stop moment for me to digest this. It is so very true what you wrote: “I have realised that ‘everything’ I choose to do, or not to do, affects not only me, but others also, and with that has come accepting and understanding that I am responsible for my choices.” When i took responsibility for all my past choices that is when true healing began for me, it took some time, but with support from an Esoteric Practitioner and a willingness to feel the pain of my past choices, slowly, my commitment to life and myself got stronger. With a new commitment to life and myself, my life has changed so much, I have changed so much…. which was only possible by choosing love and having a deep desire to return to the love that I always felt was there, but could not access!
Thank you Angela and Jacqueline. What you say about the responsibility we have in everything we do is very true. To be aware and make loving choices is the only way to live life that will enable true change and the horrors we witness and experience everyday in our society to change.
I agree completely Shevon.
hear hear ladies, we are utterly responsible for our own choices, and talking openly and honestly like you have done Jacqueline can not but help bring understanding and change, Thank you
Yes Shevon I couldn’t agree more. It’s about us taking responsibility for ourselves and then the changes that unfold from that just flow forth.
So true Shevon, it is the ultimate responsibility to make loving choices for ourselves; in that way true change may happen.
Wow what you both say here Jacqeline and Angela, is so true. All our choices, not only affect ourselves, but others as well, thats alot of responsibility. It definately makes me reflect, on the choices I have made and am now making in the present, or not making.
They don’t call it the demon alcohol for nothing! How many of our lives are affected by alcohol, and how we can continue to produce and provide this substance is beyond me. There seems to be a misapprehension for many that alcohol relaxes and brings out our true self, but in reality we know otherwise. Apart from being a poison to the body, it takes us further AWAY from ourselves! I know, because I was once under that apprehension too, or maybe I was totally disillusioning myself. Well done, Jacqueline for your commitment to life and accessing what you know was already there.
I agree Angela, the wider spread effect of our choices are not often considered, which is why this blog is pure gold. When we consider others and our effect on them, making more loving choices can become a lot easier. Thank you both for sharing.
So true Rebecca – Gold it is. Thanks Angela
So true Rebecca. When we stop to feel how our choices effect others, loving choices do indeed become easier. When our awareness of ourselves and others expands we cannot ignore the responsibility we hold towards each other.
So true Rebecca, this article is indeed pure gold as it shows the deep impact of alcohol on the lives of all of those who surround the one who chooses to drink. I too never enjoyed drinking but fell into a habit of it to keep up with my friends – not wanting to miss out – when in truth we did miss out – I clearly recall always coming home afterwards feeling a deep sadness and emptiness within me and never really found I really connected with those I went out with. How easily we have allowed ourselves to be fooled into believing alcohol is anything but a poison that separates us and leaves us feeling anything but connected to those we are with.
So true Angela – it never entered my head to consider the responsibility of everything I did, let alone what I thought and said! Now I am eternally grateful that I have been blessed with the opportunity to experience another way thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I agree Angela, this blog brings so much out of the closet, thank you Jacqueline. I also grew up with alcohol as a ‘normal’ integral part of our family’s life. Not to huge excesses, but constant, so I did not question it for very long. In my forties, as my body clearly did not deal with alcohol very well, and after hanging on to ‘just a half a glass of wine’ some nights, I firstly felt that the fancy wine actually tasted awful….how could that be? As I only had a litte, it didn’t numb me to the fact that it really tasted like vinegar…. so I could no longer believe that I was having it because it tasted so good. So I stopped completely, but still went out to bars some nights, where I would just drink water, nothing else, and leave by 11.30pm to go home to bed. I was puzzled by the fact that I would wake up (if I was lucky enough to be able to even fall asleep) with a clear feeling of a hangover. Another puzzling question, how is that possible when I had not been drinking, nor having coffee or sugar the day before? Learning about energies by attending Serge Benhayon’s workshops shed light on this question. So I realised that being in an environment with alcohol and people drinking alcohol all around, affects us, even if we don’t drink ourselves. It’s just like passive smoking – passive drinking is just as much a truth. And I know, as I have clearly experienced it in my body, the proof is absolutely clear to me.
Wow, that is a really power-full article. Thank you Jacqueline for sharing. Amazing insights and honesty that you have shared with us all and it made me really think about all the effects of alcohol – beyond the obvious ones. This article needs to be heard/read by many people.
Thank you Sarah, in sharing my experience with alcohol I have found that it has been tremendously healing for me just to put it down in black and white, which also brought me new insights and a deeper understanding of myself and my parents. A beautiful gift to myself.
Yes, Sarah and Jacqueline, this is a very important article, and I can feel the huge impact alcohol had in my life as well. Just recently for example I was present at a family gathering, and the first obvious difference to the family gatherings of my growing up years was, that there was no alcohol present. What happened at this family birthday celebration was, that everybody really met each other, confirmed each other in what they bring to this world and showed true appreciation for each other. Then a family member had been dealing with an issue, and all got together, sharing how they felt about this issue, how they felt they could support that family member and those closest to this family member. It was such a healing experience to be a part of a family gathering where true communication and expression took place. It was a world apart from the family meetings of my younger years – with equally lovely people I might add – where nothing was truly addressed, everybody putting on a good front and concentrating on the wine and food, instead of each other. I can clearly really feel that alcohol does not support us in any way shape or form in connecting with each other. It actually stops this from being possible in my understanding. The richness we can bring to each other, when we allow ourselves to just be, without the need to take off the edge with alcohol, is there for all of us to experience; we just have to choose this.