I had an experience the other day that gave me pause to stop and ponder deeply my beliefs around expressing love to all, equally so. This experience exposed in me a long held belief that same sex couples are less. When I had this realisation, I felt such sadness.
“How is it possible to hold a belief for so long, that in no way feels true, loving and supportive in my life? How far away from my true self have I been living to not feel the hurt that comes with holding onto such beliefs?”
These simple questions led me to understand much about myself and have offered me great appreciation as to just how destructive a belief can be, helping me to identify the falseness in thinking that we are not equal simply as we are born to be.
I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person. My upbringing that saw same sex couples as somehow being less has offered me a moment where I can feel better than another person.
I know deeply inside that we are all equal and it doesn’t matter whether we choose a heterosexual or homosexual relationship. Yet the belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am, has been my trigger to having the thoughts that same sex couples are less than I am.
How absolutely horrible the belief that I am better than another, as I have had an opportunity to know two beautiful women who in every way live their love for themselves, each other and all others equally. So to feel this arise in me, I know deeply that it is not who I truly am and that it is simply a belief that I have taken on from others. A belief that I can now completely let go of in how I live from this moment forward.
What this experience has brought forward for me to consider is how any comparison to others is so very debilitating. And that for this to enter, in a brief moment I in some way allowed myself to be less than or better than the other person, whether they be man or woman doesn’t matter.
What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.
I am so very grateful that I have had this experience and am also super grateful that I simply didn’t brush it off as being okay. I know deeply that my love inside of me is love for all, equally so, and I can feel the amazing potential of living in this way. Living every day deeply feeling just how beautiful, loving and supportive I am, without wavering or falling back into any old beliefs that do not support this truth that I have connected to.
I feel that I am living my life from a whole new platform: that I have accepted in full that we are all equal and feel an amazing sense of freedom in this.
There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.
Inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Leigh Strack
Further Reading:
Love – The Missing Link In Gender Equality
“The Highest Form of Intelligence is Love”
Comparing Myself To Others
876 Comments
Thank you Leigh for writing this blog. It is shocking how we can take on beliefs like this and most of the time we don’t question what we have done because we think they are just thoughts in our head. What I didn’t take responsibility for it that those thoughts lead to action or simply body language that can so easy be read. And so our thoughts are not so private after all.
Your honesty and openness in sharing your experience is very inspiring Leigh. I definitely have experienced holding on to false beliefs and ideals that have stopped me from loving all equally, and this process continues, but now I am more open and accepting of looking because I realise that in clearly seeing/feeling and nominating the ideal or belief it becomes less, until it is gone altogether, allowing more space for the love which I am to expand in my body and to be expressed through my livingness.
Amazingly honest of you to express your old beliefs Leigh. We are all culprits of carrying and passing on beliefs that don’t serve us equally in many ways, whether of nationality, class, sexuality, age, gender. Our world is rife with untruths. But one at a time, as we each stand up, expose the truth of equality as you have, we spread love and replace beliefs with truth.
Thank you Leigh, for this honest blog and important highlight on beliefs and ideals. The whole world is built on it. – ‘I myself have lived so much of my life in comparison to others, constantly measuring if I am better or less than that person.’ This is what the majority of us are brought up to see as normal, a constant comparison and competition. A far cry from the Love and the equality that we all naturally are.
So very gorgeous Leigh – ‘living with love for all equally’. It is quite shocking when we realize how we are using another human being to measure ourselves.
We are all learning life’s lessons and we are all here to support each other to have the process be as simple and joyful as possible. A great way to really initiate this process is take our own full responsibility for not comparing or judging for our own protection or self gain. Thanks for the loving reminder.
When I was growing up the worst thing was to be gay, it was the biggest insult you could give or receive, it was ok to be a criminal, but to love someone of the same sex was the worst.
How insidious is this imposition that treats someone who is gay to be lesser, or un-natural, how could we be fooled, how could we allow and enjoin stigmatizing a fellow person. Could it be that we are more than a little Jealous of someone that is deeply connected to their feelings, and is courageous enough to live true to their feelings despite the backlash from others in the community. We cannot truly love anyone if we harbor thoughts that another human is separate or lesser than us. Leigh I can feel from this blog that you have seen the falsity of a belief that you are now completely free of, and you have expanded your love for humanity greatly.
The topic of equality is one that keeps coming up for me. Where do I feel less or more than – , instead of being equal to others. The hurt or illusion of not being enough plays these tricks with us and keeps us from true equality and brotherhood. It also lets us make it all about ourselves instead of about all of us.
Thank you Leigh as the sentiments of your blog are very poignant. Regardless of another’s height, weight, skin colour, hair colour, eye colour, gender, race, nationality no matter how we appear different on the surface, in essence we are all one and the same, as we all come from the same Source. A fact that we as a human race would do well to remember, as it would take all of the competitiveness and judgement out of our interactions and the focus on difference and instead we would value the unique qualities of another and focus on what unifies us.
Indeed Shevon, and to add to that, when we know that we are all the same in our essence, we can thoroughly enjoy and celebrate the differences that we each bring.
We are riddled with ideals and beliefs, they are so insidious. Take for instance the belief that we love and treat our own children more/differently then other children. I am now shocked that for most of my adult life I lived this belief. I now see it for what it is..a none truth and treat all children as if they were my own to the best of my ability, as I feel it still owns me a little.
I also had this belief Mary-Louise, ‘Take for instance the belief that we love and treat our own children more/differently then other children.’ It has only been recently that I have started treating all children with the equal love that I do for my son, it now feels like the most natural way to be, I can feel there is often such a separateness and protection within families and that it is common to ‘look after ones own family’ as if they are more important than everybody else.
Such a big topic Mary-Louise that keeps us in separation from ‘other’ children. I just said the other day that how I am with other children is more loving and understanding than I can be with my own children. So this separation of being the same with all children regardless of who they are goes both ways. Its all still running on ideals and beliefs that this is how I am with my own children, (because I’m a parent)!, compared to how I am with other children. This is something that I see runs rampant in families, like the saying ‘blood is thicker than water’, even if it is volatile and separate that it can still be ‘rah rahed’ into being ‘good’ or get a false sense of strength from that.
Thank you Mary-Louise for calling this out and I can also feel that this belief ‘still owns me a little’ but in recognising this I allow for the possibility of continuing to let go of this insidious belief and open up to treating all children as if they were my own and the beautiful expansion that can flow from this.
Leigh i can totally understand the devastation we feel when we realise that how we have been or what we have held on to is not commensurate with the love that we are. The initial impulse for me is to recoil in horror, but whilst that is happening and I can feel my judgement of myself rain down heavily, it is so important to appreciate and celebrate the lifting of another layer of illusion that keeps us from expressing all of who we are. So awesome that this is what you are doing because in this celebration we can let go of the hardness and judgment we hold ourselves in and enjoy the extra space for love we have just created in our bodies.
When we compare ourselves to each other, we are comparing things that really shouldn’t be compared as we are all unique in our journey, in our qualities and our expression. We are different but equal.
We have so many beliefs that we take on from the adults around us when we are small and they get in the way of us feeling who people truly are as we judge them by what they do or what they look like. Learning to feel the essence in everyone we meet is a new experience for many of us, but it opens up the world in a way that allows true harmony.
So true Carmel – ‘Learning to feel the essence in everyone we meet is a new experience for many of us, but it opens up the world in a way that allows true harmony.’ It does feel truly harmonious when we connect to and appreciate the essence of another, as we are honoring the Love we are both from and the wisdom of this Love that we share.
The feelings that we have arise in response to any situation is always an opportunity for reflection on our own state of being. I have noticed this before in instances where the actions of others provoke a reaction in me. Often if I am wishing for someone to be more honest it is provoking a reaction due to my own dishonesty. Or if I feel irritated that someone is not being considerate it also give me pause to reflect on my own consideration of others. Or if I am please to see another fail (ouch) then it is a lack of self worth on my part. Many of these behaviours are quite deep rooted and it requires a great deal of humbleness and honesty to accept they are there, especially if they feel pretty horrible. Something of a work in progress I would say.
Excellent observations Stephen, I also feel that I am being reflected something when I am in situations like this, and pause and reflect on how I truly am.
This is so lovely Leigh. Thank You for being so open and honest and how beautiful your Expression of love feels.
I love what you have shared, Leigh. Beliefs are like wearing blinkers. I have lived my life through so many such blinkers that I have come to realise I have greatly limited the opportunities in my life. As I let go of the ideals and beliefs I held onto for so long, I keep getting surprised at how many, how subtle and how deep they are. With deep appreciation to the whole of the Benhayon family for helping me take my blinkers off.
“beliefs are like blinkers”, what a super analogy Jonathan because they/blinkers blind us from seeing 360 degrees, the fullness of life itself, ourselves and also everyone else in it.
I agree – there is a tension when you try and separate out who you will and won’t love, those who are deserving and those we can judge to not be – be it because of their gender, religion, sexuality, skin colour or otherwise. But it is like trying to stretch a elastic band that doesn’t need to be stretched, there is a constant tension asking us to simply let go of our preconceived ideas and beliefs and instead see everyone as equal and equally deserving of love.
That is precisely True Rebecca, because love is an essence that is inside us, and not letting someone in is in affect closing off our own love.
I too can feel the sense of homecoming, in “finally allowing what my body has always known” to come to the fore, rather than compartmentalising life with my mind’s ideals and beliefs about what is acceptable or not acceptable, in the version of life that I had concocted to suit me and allow me to avoid being responsible and truly open to another.
I love this sense of homecoming you talk of Janet. There is a vast difference in our quality when we come from the body in connection as opposed to allowing our minds to drive it. Unless experienced it is hard to describe it, but there is an absoluteness in the surrender that is incredibly still and all knowing, yet humble but all encompassing.
It’s beautiful when we get to the point of realising that the false ideals and beliefs we have held onto are not true. To come to a deeper love and acceptance for all, with equality is something to deeply appreciate. The more we are able to hold regard, self-care and honouring for ourselves, the more full we become and the easier it is to appreciate everyone else.
The relief and new way of living through becoming free of that belief is deeply palpable through reading your blog. It has come over to me while reading and inspires me to do the same, step forward out of wherever I set limits, I say to myself and I set to love! Thank you so much for this honest and inspirational sharing Leigh.
By no longer putting me higher or lower then the other I take my place in community, in brotherhood again. To come back to this abandoned place and to breathe back life into it, is a strong part of coming home again. It is wonderful.
Beautifully said, Sandra. I know the feeling too of returning to the abandoned place where I naturally stand as part of the community. How it could be any other way is incredible, but it feels like waking from a bad dream (of self) and my eyes are opening up again to what is truly going on in the world around me.
Yes agree Sandra Schneider, the equalness offered and felt in brotherhood is indeed our Home. When we are lost from this place, we feel disoriented, conflicted or tense ….and when we remember the way back re-tracing our steps once again, there is the greatest joy in coming back to Brotherhood and living from here.
‘By no longer putting me higher or lower then the other I take my place in community, in brotherhood again.’
A beautiful statement that shows just how little we are willing to be in our community and to bring our own specialised talents to that community, unless we are willing to again live holding our worth and also knowing the value of community and how much community creates the fabric of our world. There are big holes in this fabric wherever there is a person not willing to live their quality, values and worth.
Leigh you share beautifully how our up bringing and beliefs effect us, and not until we are able to identity and debase these beliefs they will continue to effect our daily lives. When we connect to our inner most and our true essence, we all know the truth within us, that we are all equal.
In my trade there is a saying that there are old electricians, and there are careless electricians but there are no old careless electricians. Would this also work for loving everyone equally? Are we not the product of how we live?
Exactly Steve -great analogy with your example here. If we all live equally in the love that we are and bring this to our every day life all of the time, then those type of sayings would fall by the wayside…
Thanks for Sharing Leigh. It certainly is horrible to feel that we have those thoughts, coming from the beliefs that we hold. What can be said though is that these beliefs and thoughts are not us, as you so beautifully described that we are all equal, and all from the same love so how can a belief like this be true? Society is filled with many beliefs which run the way each person lives, and controls how far they will let people in, or love out to other people. Having this measure of love wherever we go is keeping us separated and not to say we should all be hugging all day long, but there is potential for a more harmonious and loving way of being with one another.
Its so good to read a blog like this with someone expressing such honesty, as it did make me take a hard look at myself to see if I had any old underlining ideals and beliefs that hadn’t been exposed or delt with.
Thank you Leigh for opening up this discussion. I too have been discovering how crippling my ideals and beliefs are and how they simply stop me from loving. Everyday is an opportunity to unravel more ideals and beliefs, as they are very harming to ourselves and others.
Awesome blog Leigh. and a beautiful realisation to recognise to, as from now on, there is more of you expressing love than before. I have realised the moment we compare, it is the moment we are clocking our choices, and measuring our expression of love in relation another person’s choices. So we can either choose to be inspired to be, or compare and reject our own potential.
Leigh I read your blog twice in a row as I could feel the way that it has the power to dismantle the stranglehold that the belief system imposes on life. The false belief that we are either better or worse in some way to another is a huge false imposition that acts like a barrier to the love that we and everyone else is.
I can appreciate the honesty in your blog and comparison and competition would have to be the main cause of seperation between people. Recognising we are all equal and respecting each individuals expression and life choices is the basic foundation of brotherhood and unity.
I, too, am having these beliefs exposed in me regularly at the moment Leigh, where I have placed myself either better than or less than another. How evil that these beliefs have infiltrated who we know ourselves to be and affect all of our actions and relationships with others. (Read about the esoteric understanding of the word evil at Unimedpaedia:http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-evil.html.) Each time I expose them, I celebrate the fact that I have released another layer that is not at all me and I can get on with appreciating and being with myself and others without that constant need to prove.
Leigh what you are sharing about long held beliefs that are so distructive to relationships and ourselves is simply wrong. As you have said you knew all along that this was not true that someone in a same sex relationship is less than you. Even when you realised it and understand what is being said it is so ridiculous. How could they possibly be less. They have been made the same, their Soul and Blood is all of the same making – so it makes no sense what so ever. But the dark twisted side to this is how we can enjoy having this belief because it puts us higher and artificially makes one feel better. I know I have had this in my life and when I stop and feel this it hurts big time a) because the harm we are imposing on the other and b) the illusion that we go into and the arrogance which keeps us far away from the Divine Love that we are. Now that hurts and it is our choice if we keep ourselves in this belief or should I say dis-belief!
What an amazing realisation – how when we don’t truly value ourselves we can take on false beliefs to try and make up for the lack we feel within. Thank you for your honesty and openness here Leigh.
The honesty and openness shared here Leigh brings the truth of what comparison and held beliefs can do and how destructive it can be for all. When we appreciate ourselves and confirm who we are this opens us up to all and love floods and expands us. Love is far greater than comparison and is equal in all. Thank you Leigh for sharing with such love.
Beautiful Kelly. “Love is far greater than comparison and is equal in all.”
Yes it is a beautiful expression Annie – one that, if everyone would live that expression, could heal so many ill beliefs held about our selves in ‘comparison’ to others.
This “belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am,” underlies so much of our created prejudices. Thank you for honestly sharing and opening this up for further exploration. I certainly feel that I could look into this much deeper for myself.
I would say this might go for most of us, certainly for myself too – “This belief that I was not enough, and the push to prove that I am,” – I am finding that the more I connect to my self, and the more I step into a loving and nurturing way of living, the less is the drive to have to prove anything to anyone, least of all my self. It is a very liberating process and one I can now feel in many instances and situations.
Exactly Karina, the more we accept that we are enough and start to really appreciate ourselves for who and what we are, the less becomes the need to proof anything to anyone. Instead of the deep insecurity and emptiness, we then shine with all that we are and do hold back less and less in that.
Yes Michael once we break down and discard the deep insecurities we are then left with the love that we are … which in turn we reflect to another. This acceptance breaks down our judgement which leaves us with an open heart to accept our brothers in equalness.
I am sure we could all look deeper into this for ourselves Elaine – ideals and beliefs can be very subtle, and having carried them around for a lifetime, they are easily seen as ‘normal’ or there is a feeling of indifference about it because it’s ‘just how it is’.
Lovely said, Eva, I got tricked by the “picture” that women are less when they have not given birth to a child. A belief that I had taken on from wherever. Getting to know me better and learning to trust my heart again unfolds the untruth of this picture.
Wowza Leigh, you’ve opened a can of worms with this very exposing blog – I thank you for your courage and direct honesty in expressing what does not belong in your foundations now. We can all relate to this comparison I’m sure, yet there are many avenues we can choose to go down to give the same effect of being more or less than another. With this belief coming to the fore it really confirms how you value equality and your own self worth.
That’s a great point Rachael, when we start to value our worth and hold ourselves as equal it becomes easier to see the beliefs that we have held to hold us less.
Love your honesty Leigh, I imagine many people across the globe hold such beliefs, some are very aware and some not so aware like you have shared. It is awesome what you came to understand and I love how you accept yourself and appreciate your willingness to look beneath and see the ugly, all the while knowing it is not you.
I agree Vanessa, a lot of beliefs we can be aware of, but some are running our life and we call them normal but they are in fact a form of belief we have taken on, something which does not belong to our essence.
Yes Harrison White, coming to the understanding that those thoughts are actually not our own, is huge in terms of quickly calling out the offending thought and coming back to that constant, solid foundation of deep sacredness within.
Your honesty is very inspiring Leigh. I too have played (and still occasionally play) the greater than/lesser than game, and it now feels awful. In the past it appeared to make me feel better – on the surface anyway, or put myself down which felt horrible…a constant roller coaster ride based on whatever was happening externally, and exhausting – so different to holding the love we are where-ever we are, where there is a natural ease and flow, and it is a joy to be in life!
“There is a sense of coming home in my body that is palpable: a sense of finally allowing what my body has always known, to be the way that I live, with love for all, equally so.” The tension created by these ideals and beliefs becomes ‘normal’ over time, and it’s not until we let go of these ideals and beliefs that our body can return to its naturally harmonious way of being… and it is amazing how quickly and easily our bodies return to this.
It takes a great honesty to reveal to ourselves aspects of how we have lived, or thoughts we have taken on as our own that are not true, and therefore unpleasant to face. The love with which you express from Leigh is gorgeous to feel and inspires a deepening of honesty within me too.
Well said Giselle. Before we can address issues or beliefs, they need to be nominated. A lot of people carry ideals and beliefs but are unwilling to be honest about them and thus cannot look deeper as to why they are there.
This comment gave me a moment to truly consider how true this is, so many people do not even know how harmful their beliefs are to their bodies, let alone the harm that they cause to others. Pondering on this makes me realise how deeply hurt we are as human beings that we choose behaviours that cause such harm, and how much the world needs to see a different way of living. How much truth and honesty is needed in how we are feeling. So the old behaviors can be examined and if not truly loving and supportive, to make the changes needed to lessen their hold over us and eventually completely let than go.
Gives responsibility a whole new appeal! For years I held the belief responsibility was where I came undone, to understand my not taking responsibility was but a choice I was continually making began the process of unraveling the reasons for it. Our resistance to feeling the pain we’ve buried may be one such held belief we do not want to let go of, yet with the slightest release, the space that emerges allows for more.
Leigh thank you for your honest sharing ‘What does matter is that a learned way of living that I have lived for much of my life, believing I was better than or less than another, created a constant tension to prove myself –making it impossible to fully love another equally.’ It is great you name it ‘a learned way of living’ and that believing we are better or less is never a true way of living. The tension you mention distracts us so much we cannot even feel that love is equal and love is in us all, nothing to proof,because love just is.
Nothing to prove it an important point to keep reminding ourselves, as I see this as a point where we naturally fall into traps and try and prove ourselves whether that be at work, with family or friends. What ever happened to just being honest and taking responsibility of the way we are living.
Thank you Leigh for your honesty and sharing. What your blog highlights is that there are so many ideals and belief systems that we hold that keep us in separation and from experiencing feeling the true joy of the all.
Well said Donna – for me judgement is a marker of this separation. When my thoughts change and start to compare or judge myself or another I know I am out of my heart and allowing what is not true run the show. This feels like a wall comes up between myself and another which devastates the Joy on offer by way of a true and equal reflection.
Excellent Rachael, there fore true thoughts come from the heart. Walls of protection, and separation between people, well no true thoughts can come from that.
Absolutely Harrison and yet as we are not educated this at any point in life we walk around thinking that we are having our own thoughts but we are not. Crazy.
Yes absolutely Donna – there are many ideals and beliefs that we can subscribe to that keep us divided from each other and from our own true self. It’s great Leigh how you revealed in this blog where you felt the drive came from to take on the false belief – it really helps with getting to the root of the matter