Recently an opportunity presented for me to take a deeper look at whether I was living gender equality in my day-to-day life as a woman.
As women, not only is it important for us to invite men to step up and look at these gender equality issues in a non-imposing, non-judgmental way, it is equally important for us to invite ourselves to step up to living this gender equality also.
Therefore I asked myself:
“Do I always live this gender equality that has been known in my heart as an irrefutable truth?”
The answer is “No”. So no matter what I see in the world today, and not depending on how the world responds back to me, can I commit to consistently live this truth, starting with myself?
I started to consider how I could truly live gender equality within myself:
- Even though I am equally committed and devoted to the work that I do as any male counterpart, I had been setting my prices well below what my male colleagues were charging. I have now revised my prices by feeling what I am truly worth. Honouring my true worth as a woman has completely changed how I feel about myself, and how I hold myself as a woman in the workplace and in life.
- I had believed that if I did not put in the same long hours as men do or approach a job competitively, then I could not reap the same results or be respected equally in my career. I now truly value what I bring, having a young son to look after and having a full-time career at the same time. Through being asked to be equally present and focussed with my work or at home in the kitchen with a very hungry child, I know that I am ready to engage with presence and focus in any new spontaneous situation.
- I realised that I was still holding myself back in how I was expressing with males at certain times – there was a reservation on my side. Holding back as a woman with men is holding myself back as a human being. Ultimately it is a holding back of all women and all men. For example, I now commit to looking men in their eyes equally to how I naturally hold my glance with a woman I meet on the street or in the elevator. I don’t dress differently when it is men I am meeting, no matter who they are, expressing what my heart feels exactly, in all vulnerability and power, in all silly-fullness and seriousness. The freedom experienced in not holding back is simply amazing.
- When I have been with men in friendly and professional settings I have had the expectation of being treated with more care and attention, like gentlemen treat women. But if I’m honest, I had not been consistently treating myself with deep care and love, so that lack of worth towards myself is what men have been reflecting back to me. When I stop expecting men to act in a certain way and then feel hurt when they don’t, I start living the preciousness of the woman and the human being I am. Responding to the preciousness I feel within me stops the need to be rewarded by something outside of myself. How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am.
- As a woman I had accepted that in male/female relationships I had to give more, understand more, allow more and accept more compared to my male partner. When I stop hanging on to the belief that men cannot be as understanding, allowing, accepting, or giving because of their past hurts, what I allow is a much greater love to be expressed; and men meet me back with constant beautiful surprises confirming that they are everything I know them to be.
Having said all that, I’m coming back to a deep knowing that men are made of the absolute same essence and sensitivity as women are, and that there is no difference in our ability to feel. As women and as men our love can only be true when we begin to accept and live this knowing.
Indeed, if as women and as men we now take responsibility without delay and live and express the love that we are, then we are truly here for each other. Gender equality is what we know to be truly true between men and women: it is the true relationship between men and women that can be lived.
Living the truth of who I am is an ongoing inspiration received from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine — and its teachings and all the reflections from its students.
By Adele Leung, Image director, Hong Kong
Further Reading:
Gender Equality: How far have we come?
Equalness and Being a Man
The Truth of Love – Equally for All
694 Comments
The thing I like about this blog is that it’s asking us to take responsibility for ourselves as women and to not hold ourselves as victims of the social / cultural / energetic status quo first – whilst acknowledging the inequities that undoubtedly exist.
Gender equality deepens on the quality each Gender lives. Living one’s full qualities of their own gender will lead to gender equality naturally . This can be easily seen when very young children interact with each other.
Regardless of our gender, if we all appreciated within ourselves and others the qualities of what we bring as opposed to the productivity of what we do, true equality would be a natural expansion of this.
There is a role farmers’ wives have taken on where they place the work of the man above all else and the farmer holds his position with pride that he deserves his pedestal. If a farmers wife has fallen into this way of being knowing and have always known fully well that these roles were and are not true. I have felt reactions in my body from very young to the women around me for giving their power away and making themselves less yet what I have discovered and continue to explore is my lack of self worth and appreciation towards myself hence the reflections that have been on offer around me all along to support me to evolve and break this consciousness of women living a lie and choosing to live less than who we truly are within the farming community.
Well said Caroline. There are some deeply held ideals and beliefs that put the men first and their lives being more important relegating women to a lesser position and justifying male dominance. Women have accepted this role and have grown clever at manipulating and deception in order to get what they want or they have just succumbed and lived very subservient and much less than their true selves. It is awesome that you have the awareness that you do and the love of truth, yourself and people to turn this around.
Thank you Adele for presenting the opportunity for us to consider if we are living true gender equality. For amongst us all here in this world, we are the Sons of God, as such equal in light. Do we hold ourselves in this regard? It is the embrace of this equalness for ourselves through which we will then come to know and live in honor of this quality of equalness in all our relationship thereafter.
Adele, this is interesting; ‘When I stop expecting men to act in a certain way and then feel hurt when they don’t, I start living the preciousness of the woman and the human being I am. Responding to the preciousness I feel within me stops the need to be rewarded by something outside of myself.’ It feels important for us to love ourselves first and to treat ourselves with preciousness and adoration.
I had a meeting recently, men and women, with an absolute feeling of equality … no gender, with no agenda… it was priceless.
The imbalance within our selves is reflected through out the world… and as one person changes, so the world has the opportunity to evolve.
I am finding that the key is not to identify with gender but to honour it. We all have spent many, many lives as women and many, many lives as men, therefore it is futile to get caught up in the ill imposed idea that one gender can reign superior over another. The real task, and the one we are avoiding, is to deepen our expression of our maleness (motion) and our femaleness (stillness) so that we can balance the two expressions both within ourselves and then further afield in our society. This is the true meaning of gender equality.
So true. If we are not equally honouring both qualities our maleness (motion) and our femaleness (stillness) within ourselves, how are we expecting the world to reflect it externally?
“Having said all that, I’m coming back to a deep knowing that men are made of the absolute same essence and sensitivity as women are, and that there is no difference in our ability to feel. As women and as men our love can only be true when we begin to accept and live this knowing.” We are all human so have the same capacity for love, sensitivity and tenderness. To believe otherwise demonstrates how society has conditioned us to believe it so. But we are society, so need to take responsibility for changing this dynamic, by reflecting out what we know to be true.
A very timely read and a great reminder that regardless of gender we all have the same ability to feel and to be sensitive. I can’t say I was as sensitive and caring as I am now 10 years ago and if it wasn’t for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and many within the student body expressing their love would I have had the space to develop what I now live today. This space I now have the responsibility to provide for others to also grow. And rather than a big scary or heavy burden I feel settled within myself as such responsibility feels very natural and still requiring of me to live such rather than just sit with it. Thank you Adele
This is a very important blog for us all to read. I often find that I think I know or even that I am living something like equality and in essence we all do know equality inside out. But when we are not paying attention and simply feeling our connection, societal beliefs and values can creep in without us knowing it. Things like charging less than a man or feeling you have to be more accepting or understanding in a relationship reduce the level of love that can be there in ourselves and our relationships. As you have said this then perpetuates the inequality and the gap that exists between the genders.
I loved reading your blog Adele thank you, basically we all come from the same essence of divine love , what is equally in men is also in women just expressed in different flavours.
Your blog inspires me to look at my own part in the inequality we experience in the world. My holding back and blaming men in my life for not supporting me has been there from young. And am I living something different right now? Do I truly acknowledge and want to feel in my own body we are made of the same essence and sensitivity or am I holding on to a hurt? Do I let all men truly in?
This is such a beautiful realisation to come to that: “men are made of the absolute same essence and sensitivity as women are”. Just imagine if we all lived with this knowing from young. I can feel that the life we have been living, often in separation to each other, would be replaced by a life of true equality.
I love your take on gender equality and how you carefully looked at how you are in the world, that is an honouring of oneself and each other in all aspects of life and that we all have a responsibility how we are with ourselves and others.
‘When I stop expecting men to act in a certain way and then feel hurt when they don’t, I start living the preciousness of the woman and the human being I am’. I can so relate to this sentence. Being in a new relationship I can feel the expectations I can have of how I expect a man to be with me and treat me with a certain level of care and tenderness that I may not necessarily treat myself.
This is such a powerful blog and holds so many keys for every woman to explore. It is so easy to look at what men are or are not doing in relating to women. But how often do we look at our part in it? This blog shows just how much we can undermine having an equal relationship by the way we choose to relate to men. Being like the men has been tried and just doesn’t work. It’s time for us to be ourselves, to appreciate all that we are as women and not needing any approval. This appreciation of our worth is gift enough in itself.
‘Honouring my true worth as a woman has completely changed how I feel about myself, and how I hold myself as a woman in the workplace and in life.’
One of the main reasons women rally as ‘feminists’ to equate to the right of men if due to this lack of value in who we are being enough. Women will no longer need to prove their worth through what they do when they acknowledge the power of their simple being-ness.
Equality begins with at the very least accepting we are completely equal in essence.
We have got so used to living with inequality in the world that for many we dont have a full awareness of what the world would be without inequality at all. Hence how important honesty is as this helps to unfold the real intentions behind our ingrained behaviours and patterns.
Before we lift a finger to blame others for any inequality we experience, it’s so vital as you’ve shared Adele to look at our own part to play… Belittling our own worth only gives others permission to do the same, but self-respect works in an identical manner.
“Having said all that, I’m coming back to a deep knowing that men are made of the absolute same essence and sensitivity as women are.” I so agree – having two sensitive gentle adult sons – seeing them from when they were little boys one cannot fail to witness male’s sensitivity and gentleness. However – with both sexes – we are surrounded by advice to toughen up, be strong and not show our vulnerability. When inside we are all deeply loving sensitive beings, regardless.
On reflection I wonder if I hold myself as a woman as equal to a man. I think how I value myself and what I bring as a woman starts with my own self-appreciation and love.
Until we know ourselves from the inside out, connect to our inner heart, and stop being run by the movies and chatter in our heads, will be at the mercy of social archetypes that define us. This reconnection to wisdom is the beautiful and profound doorway that Universal Medicine presents for us… What an opportunity to start to know ourselves.
The beliefs that we hold can play out very subtly. It’s great to be a student of life and practice the art of observing our own behaviour in different situations. There is much to learn from the daily interactions we have with others.
Thank you Adele, I love that you simply look at where you can contribute to true equality instead of simply demanding it, or more so how you allow yourself to observe and be aware where you actually contribute to INequality to then being able to let go of these beliefs.
Gender equality is often seen as something for other people to get right, an expectation we have of partners, employers, families and communities. Brought closer to home, and as you have shared Adele, true gender equality is lived through every choice we make.
I think if we are trying to start to bring more equality to the relationship with men and women then to start at ‘gender equality’ already misses the mark. We would need to outline the value each have regardless of gender or race. Certain people, men or women bring a value that maybe specific to a gender but not from a gender. When I read this article I still see women pitted against men and so in that it brings nothing new. The awareness needs to come from an equality of expression, of quality and not saying women do things this way and or men do things this way. If we are looking at another gender and setting ourselves in comparison to that then we are locking into the ‘gender war’ which there is no winner to and no true equality in. This is about value and what value do you bring and in that appreciation and awareness you will start the see the same in others. The way back from gender equality is through you, how you are with yourself as a person.
“Do I always live this gender equality that has been known in my heart as an irrefutable truth?” Such a beautiful question and it feels to me like the only way to true gender equality, it is about living the quality we would like to have coming to us for and with ourselves first.
Living in equalness with all will inspire your young son to live in true equality with others.
I love the responsibility that you are calling for Adele and thus how it is in our own hands if we want to be treated as equal. Recognising the ways that I do not honour my equality and committing to changing these patterns has dramatically changed my experiences in all areas of my life but it is amazing how pockets of inequality in my thinking are constantly being exposed and so it is an ongoing process to root all these out and live from my deep sense of the equality of all men and women.
A very very important subject – as without equality there is no balance, and without balance there is no harmony or love-filled life. So , it is the key of all our problems, even so deeper than we can rightly think of. Do we live in a way that supports the whole (being it close family or a person from afar whom we don’t know) or are we basing our lives on ourselves, our individual lives (maybe a little around us)? Good question to ask..
Thank you Adele for being shameless honest and sharing were you were truly at in regards to gender equality. True change starts with honesty, as shown by you.. I am interested to know, how often we are lying to ourselves, that we are treating everyone equally, whilst actually we hold all those ideals, acceptions and thoughts in mind.. When we look from a honest angle we will know our truth and what to heal next. Are we living in true gender equality?
Thank you Adele for your sharing. I appreciate my equality with men more now than ever. The reason I can say that is by being part of the Student Body of Universal Medicine I have been fortunate enough to have access to the teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon of the Ancient Wisdom that shares the fact of the equality of Men and Women. How could we not be equal when we are all made from the same source of Love. We are not here for the pleasure of men, we are here for the Evolution back to Soul.
There is so much here to explore with the bucket loads of beliefs we can still carry about the words ‘gender equity’. Throughout history we have been bombarded with the media images of how we have not been treated equally from the outer always seeking blame and excuses for why we are not living our natural potential. Thank you Adele Leung for bringing the basics back and the responsibility that starts with us all.
I could not agree with you more Adele; our attitude to gender equality certainly does begin with me. Our choice to treat everybody with genuine equality is the key and the choice is ours.
Yes it is actually so simple and I love that simplicity.
This article raises some very important points, as women we have the opportunity to transform gender equality. The more we appreciate and cherish who we are as women, how we allow people to be with us shifts. If we are not really respecting ourselves then we will allow what is less than respect from others. When a woman is deeply caring and nurturting of herself these qualities are absolutely felt and people then have the opportunity to rise up and offer the same.
‘Indeed, if as women and as men we now take responsibility without delay and live and express the love that we are, then we are truly here for each other.’ Well said and very true Adele, your blog is a gem and exposes the many different ways as women we can hold back around men or give our power away – claiming and living who we truly are is deeply healing and supports us to express our love to everyone equally.
What you share here is deeply beautiful, gender equality is the true way we know we can relate, it is the knowing we are equal in essence and can live from that.