This is my story of when I decided to stop drinking alcohol. I was never a heavy drinker at all, I actually hated the taste of wine and beer – and especially the taste of alcohol, it made me want to vomit, but I still drank because all of my friends did. So instead of listening to my body, I drank to fit in.
I know that is a sad excuse but that’s how it was for me, and it goes to show that my self-confidence wasn’t the greatest at the time. Drinking back then was the “social thing”, even though I now feel it’s the furtherest thing away from being social. We like to believe it’s social because we feel more confident speaking to people, but I’ve learnt it’s not a true confidence.
So back to my story…
In the beginning I must say I enjoyed the buzz – I thought I felt more confident but at the same time there was a stroke of arrogance about my behaviour. I was quite flirty and used my looks and charm to attract women, but it felt quite shallow and needy and I didn’t feel that I was being very respectful towards them, even though I was in no way rude. At least that is what I felt at the time.
It just felt like the whole situation around consuming alcohol seemed very superficial and fake and this is not what I truly wanted. I love being around people and I love the connection with them, but when alcohol was present that loving connection was out the door and that was also one of the reasons I quit drinking, side by side with the following incidents.
When I got to the point where I decided that enough was enough and I stopped drinking altogether, there had been a gradual process of realising how I felt after having alcohol.
I have been one of those guys that wanted to go out the door and play first thing in the morning but after a ‘night out’ my body just didn’t have the energy to do it and that bugged me quite a lot. So the okayness I felt about having alcohol slowly faded and ended entirely after what I can remember was a three-stage process.
The first time was at a party of one of my friends; I felt my lower back hurt when I started drinking and I couldn’t understand why. It just felt very uncomfortable, as if someone was holding and squeezing my kidney very hard. But at that point I still kept on drinking.
The second time, from what I remember, I started to feel something before I even opened the first bottle. Something in my lower back started to hurt the same way as the first time but I overrode this feeling yet again.
The third time however, something happened that made me realise what I was actually doing to my body. Same thing as before, I could feel something in my kidneys before I even started drinking but this time it felt as if someone literally put a knife straight into my physical kidney… and that was enough for me!
After that incident I never touched alcohol again and I haven’t regretted it for one second. It was actually great that my body told me that loud and clear what it truly preferred. Looking back I knew from the beginning that alcohol wasn’t my thing. When I was younger no one really questioned why you drank (except from my mum, bless her) but why you didn’t drink, as if drinking alcohol is normal.
For me it seems very strange to put something into our bodies that makes us ill, flat and tired the next day – it doesn’t make any sense, so giving up alcohol for me was a no brainer.
Now when I go out to restaurants or clubs, which is a bit more seldom than before, I have a glass of water and enjoy the food and the people.
By Matts Josefsson, Support Person in Psychiatry, Student, Dalarna, Sweden
Further Reading:
Getting Honest about Alcohol
Drinking Alcohol – The True Picture, The True Damage
From wine to water: How I finally quit drinking alcohol with the help of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon
889 Comments
There is a point when we realise the extent of our harmful behaviours and how they impact on others – if we then choose to move differently we have the opportunity to re- imprint and heal instead of harm.
And that move can just be a decision to be loving with ourselves.
It is interesting that we have created a society where we think we have to explain why we do NOT drink alcohol rather than try and explain why we do.
Yes it’s a bit upside down isn’t it.
Yes, even though alcohol is recognised as a strong laboratory disinfectant.
Yes, so true. If you take a step back and observe the obsurdity of that it asks us to ponder what else have we got back to front?
I just have to say that it feels pretty amazing that my new normal is to not even flinch at the thought of having alcohol. It’s a great mile stone when you stand free from the many hooks that come with it.
Yes, it’s the king of normal.
I can relate to having a gradual process of realisation or growing awareness around something that then comes to a moment where there is a clear decision made – one that comes from your own inner wisdom and lived experience, rather than a belief or ideal we’ve picked up…
Yes when the agony of having to cope with alcohol in our body becomes just too much we can easily drop it, and probably wonder why on earth we didn’t do it way earlier.
Matts, I love your honesty in sharing why you started to drink and then now not drinking because you can feel in your body how harmful alcohol is. I started drinking when I was around 18 to also fit in but my body spoke to me very loudly I could not resist its messages. After a dozen attempts I decided my body was more precious than my need to fit in. So when I decided alcohol was not going to be a part of my social scene at the same time I realised I didn’t have to fit in because all I had to do was be myself. Pretty cool to realise this and thank God for my body telling me in such early stages that alcohol is poison to my body. Amazing to be able to feel how sensitive my body is.
Very true, thanks for sharing Chan.
In one of my early sessions with Serge Benhayon I brought up my addiction to alcohol. His answer supported me to give up alcohol very easily. He told me that many people were addicted to the sugar in the alcohol because it gave them energy rather then being addicted to drinking itself. This made perfect sense to me and with this realisation I began to deal with my exhaustion and lack of commitment to life and the drinking dropped away.
Having a clearer understanding of why we’re doing something makes a huge difference in my experience too. That way we can really address what’s behind the behaviour we know is harming…
Yes in this case we’re talking about alcohol but it could be any other thing or drug we use to soothe something within us we do not want to deal with.
Having worked in hospitality and being around people that drink alcohol what a blessing it has been to actually be able to say no to it and not partake in something that clearly is harming and not supportive in any way shape or form. Still currently working in hospitality I am starting to notice a slight shift where it is not abnormal to not drink, some are just deciding that they two don’t like what it does or they are reacting to it in such an extreme way it has to be stopped.
And for that we must applaud the body. It’s very honest in saying what is best for it.
Alcohol used to be my norm. I did it because everyone else was doing it. How wrong was I once connected to my body and felt how it made me feel. As the feeling of joy entered back into my body and life, the abuse I once allowed with very depressive thoughts, is no longer running me, and the feeling of joy is my focus.
Sounds like there’s a song there Rik.
Awareness is the missing ingredient from all our discourses on drugs and addiction. It’s something we prefer to be unaware of. Funny that – what if this is the true root cause of our addictions and disease? Thanks Matts for getting me pondering.
Great question Joseph. I very much agree that being aware does support us to heal our addictions. I feel honesty is also a key ingredient in this because without honesty we can easily dismiss our awareness.
Yes Joseph and the more love we have for ourselves the less of what is not love will we then allow, so for me the alcohol dropped when I felt what was truly best for me.
Its a huge learning and upstanding as to why people drink a poison called alcohol. In Ireland we have a saying about drinking a poison called alcohol.
” Have a few pints and drown your sorrows ”
People use it as a numbing to prevent feeling how sorrowful their life is by the way they are living their lives.
Yes we miss the joy, get sad and then want to drown the sadness with alcohol. Not a great recipe for success.
I was talking to a young man yesterday who told me he doesn’t drink as it seems a waste of money to just poison yourself, I completely agree.
Yes you can use that money to buy something you really want instead.
And it seems like a wise man you met.
Exactly, what I have come to realize is the lack of appreciation I had for myself in those moments like you described to actually not drink alcohol, as my body gave me many signals that it did not like alcohol at all, but my busy driven mind I held stronger and more valuable at that time. I had little appreciation for myself and my body and override signals from my body easily, all to be close to groups and belong to them. A powerful nomination this is, as I am building more appreciation within my life; for myself and my body and also for others, that now I listen to those signals of my body more and more… and life is becoming so much more smooth and loving!
Yes, letting the light within lead the way is a sure success.
We are going to an event tonight and I am already looking forward to not drink any alcohol. Knowing and feeling that alcohol is pure poison to the body, we love to reflect this with no hesitation and holding back.
It’s a poison for the body and also for us connecting as beautiful beings. We miss that a lot so keep on shining. When you read this the event has probably already been but I’m sure you did a great job shining Stefanie! Lots of love
Alcohol is just another way for humanity to not feel their actual exhaustion, because it gives you, besides many other facts, this energy boost through the sugar that is in it. I love not joining others to drink, I proof every time that you can have a lot of fun without alcohol 😉 Because I enjoy myself and share this with others- why putting in a substance that changes this great connection?!
So beautiful Stefanie, why would you take away the beautiful person we are by drinking alcohol, such a waste of beauty. Lot of beauty around here : )
Yes, sip some love and the taste for alcohol goes out the door.
I agree Stefanie, the perception that we have to drink alcohol to have fun is such a lie because I went out a lot in my teens and early twenties and I was able to have fun with my friends without alcohol. But as soon as they started drinking our connection then started to drop the fun also dropped with it. So, to me alcohol kills any form of fun.
I think in time we will start to realise how insane it is to drink alcohol. As of now we think it’s normal but it is completely idiotic (it is) to drink something that is harming our body as it does.
Like you, I never really liked the taste of alcohol- the way it loosened me up in certain situation let me consume it, as it felt like a letting go of control. But in the same time I wasn´t really connected with me anymore and slipped into a role.
My body also never really coped with alcohol well- quite the opposite. After choosing more selflove for my body and looking at the root causes, why I wanted to escape from ME time to time, quitting alcohol was super easy for me.
Hi Stefanie, yes the loosening up is an illusion. Like you say it’s checking out from our body just like the effect of any other drug. When we actually love our body there is no way we will put anything like that in it.
I love how your body spoke loudly and clearly to you Matts, even before you started to drink the alcohol your kidneys were hurting, our bodies are so wise and loving and can teach us so much.
For sure LorraineJ, I would say this is happening to all of us, the only difference is if we care to listen or not.
It has now been over ten years since I stopped drinking alcohol and I really must write my story one day as well because now it is so hard to believe that alcohol used to be such a big part of my life.
Go for it Kev, love to hear about it!
This is such a great sharing of how our bodies ‘talk’ to us. I too ‘played’ with alcohol in my younger years and quickly found I simply couldn’t bear the taste of beer and spirits, but chose to work my way around this by sweetening the deal adding sugar to the mix. I shake my head now as I am just realising this was also the way I worked around drinking milk, which my body also told me loud and clear that it loathed.
I have distinct memories of feeling the world spinning around me after drinking less than a glass of wine with a meal at home with friends; of choosing to skip going out after that as there was no way I felt capable of being out in the world feeling as I did. However, it wasn’t until I felt such a huge bodily reaction to just one mouthful of wine that I finally listened to what my body was unmistakably saying to me. Alcohol + a human body does not = a great way of being/feeling/living.
So true. Love what you share how you obviously enjoy being present and alive more than being foggy and disorientated which is the effects of alcohol.
What is funny is what you describe- everyone knows drinking alcohol is harmful to the body, yet it is true, you get asked more why you don’t drink instead of why you do drink. As a teenager and in my twenties I drank quite a bit. I grew up in a house where my mother never drank alcohol and was upset the first few times I drank. However, then I stopped drinking alcohol in my early thirties and my Mum then questioned me more on this and said that maybe she would even start drinking as she thought people who drank were more relaxed. The reason she chose to not drink in the first place was because her parents were alcoholics and used to get very abusive when drunk- its interesting that it is not about drinking or not drinking but people are more confronted when you choose to do something out of love for yourself- this is what is more confronting and what gets the most reaction.
Interesting what you share MW, she didn’t drink and that in itself was quite a blessing for you growing up I would assume but then she considered drinking because the reflection you brought was perhaps a bit too much for her. Sometimes alcohol seems to be like an evil demon that possess you to say and think things that doesn’t seem like it’s you saying it.
We all know that alcohol does bring damage to our body. We just can chose to be dishonest about it as we enjoy the relaxed feeling we can get temporarily? The truth is to look at why we are not relaxed in the first place and share with our friends about it instead of drinking away.
Yes I think we are a bit reluctant to really feel how lovely it can feel if we let ourselves be with each other. The booze is the band-aid for the hurt little being inside of us that is a bit afraid to let the hurt be seen by others.
Alcohol was for a very long time part of my daily rhythm. Caffeine is what started every day and was topped up till about 6 pm and then a drink or two after 10 pm knocked the edge off to sleep. Then repeat every day. I was asked by a doctor to stop drinking for 6 months to see if a skin problem was caused by alcohol. I found it quite simple to just stop. After six months I returned to see the doctor and she asked if I noticed any changes, I said yes, I have saved lots of money but the skin problem still persisted. The skin thing is another story but I have drunk alcohol since. I had just substituted food to numb myself! I have just about eliminated everything that has taken me away from me and it has been my choice. I have no regrets
Speaking to someone who was describing their office party at 5pm at work and how they had a bit of music and were really going for it with the dance moves I already knew the answer to my question as to whether there was alcohol involved- there was. I’ve heard so many people say it gives them the confidence to be themselves, to be sociable and have fun when otherwise they wouldn’t. I remember thinking this too to varying degrees and until I felt how alcohol actually took me away from feeling myself. Now I may feel a little awkward socially at times but i prefer this as I can come back to being with myself, whereas alcohol really freaks me out now as I feel so far removed from myself.
Dancing sober is the best : )
Having stopped drinking alcohol I can say that in the moment it might have made me feel like it made me more confident, however in fact I would say I’d often experience the opposite the next morning, and certainly recognise now the horrible need for a drink to blank out the full-on day of push drive and trying to be the best I could (I’m thinking specifically uni days here but actually it naturally rolled on into my career). Now I know confidence to come from an inner connection, and it’s not an age related thing either that we become more confident the more experience we have – as I know some very wise and confident young children and teenagers who blow me away with their assured knowing born of that connection.
Yes I think the confidence comes from how much we are connected to ourselves and listen to what is true to us. Confident young people are beautiful to watch.
Very interesting, especially to red about the pains you felt in your lower back and kidney area. As that is also my experience, not in the period of my life when I was drinking alcohol but, when I stopped drinking alcohol and was sitting in a restaurant behind some people who started to drink alcohol. I didn’t see that but suddenly I felt an attack as a knife in my back in the area of my kidneys. I knew and felt that it had to do with the alcohol being consumed.
And then to realize that our kidneys are holding our life force, our foundation in energy.
What are we doing to ourselves? At what cost do we have ‘pleasure’ moments?
I love the simplicity of a life without alcohol. I feel liberated from a lot of social pressure and expectation as a result. Once upon a time I worried about what others thought and caved into the peer pressure. Today I know that my relationship with myself is the true foundation of my life, and peer pressure is less of an issue as a result.
Last week I was observing a biology lesson on alcohol and it was interesting to observe the class as they were very restless. Of course, they already knew alcohol was not good for the body but to have it so exposed in such black and white terms for them meant they couldn’t pretend that it was an ok thing to do even though it is ‘socially acceptable’. At one point their teacher even nominated that if alcohol were to be invented today it would not be allowed given the fact it is a poison. All that said I am not sure how much the kids really wanted to go there and to really feel the consequences of drinking alcohol.
Sounds like they had an honest explanation of what alcohol really is. Good job by the teacher. And if the kids or students get the chance to be themselves and not get sucked into the whole having to learn things to be someone in life they will naturally not touch or go anywhere near alcohol because they will feel how damaging it really is.
Since giving up alcohol I realise the deep, deep harm it causes not only to our bodies but also to society as a whole. When I drank I did have an awareness of this but I allowed my mind and the need to fit in to overrule what my body was sharing with me.
Yes alcohol has us in its grip, the consciousness that says that it’s ok to drink alcohol. Maybe if and when we start loving connecting with people then we will very easily say no to alcohol.
When you haven’t drunk for a little while it can get to a point that there is nothing that you feel like your giving up when you feel so much better. When your in the full swing of it the thought of giving it up seems way to hard to do. Interesting really how they are polo opposite.
That shows how stong of a drug alcohol is. It makes people say things that are not even true, as in the ‘ok in moderation’ thing.
“For me it seems very strange to put something into our bodies that makes us ill, flat and tired the next day – it doesn’t make any sense, so giving up alcohol for me was a no brainer.” I so agree Matts. I drank very little and a second glass of wine would make me feel strange. Alcohol is a poison – so why do we think it does us ‘good’?
I don’t know, maybe it takes away the tension we feel being humans but it’s sure as …. not the answer. Living life will include us feeling some sort of tension or perhaps some anxiety or angst but that’s inevitable. Saying yes to truly living life in my experience eases this tension because we are flowing with life instead of resisting it. I have a long way to go here but this is at least my experience.
When we truly listen to our body, we would be able to feel how toxic alcohol is, our body never lies. But if we listen to our thoughts it is easy to discard what our body is telling us.
Which makes it interesting as to where our thoughts come from and if they are actually ours… or do we think they are ours because it’s in us they pop up? But if our thoughts are not loving are they actually ours then?
Once you get over the taste of alcohol and not having it for a while and if you go back to it you really get to taste how hideous it really is and how harsh it is on the body. Each sip the body is having to work overtime to process it and we wonder why we are exhausted. Sometimes we don’t even want to admit this so we keep picking ourselves up with other drugs like coffee to see us through the day. Our bodies sure do get a seeing to don’t they when we are this dismissive with them.
Yes the body is never not honest, that’s the beauty if it.
We think that alcohol gives us confidence but if we honestly watched ourselves and our movements when under the influence of alcohol, we would know this confidence is from an external false source and not from the true confidence that emanates from within.
Yes true confidence is to just be yourself and enjoying it.
It is interesting how many people initially find they do not like the taste of alcohol and their body reacts to it yet override what their body is communicating to end up acquiring a taste for it. It is only when the body speaks loud enough that we start to question why we are really having something that is clearly so harmful for us.
When we have to ‘acquire’ a taste for a thing, then perhaps our ‘naturally wise’ bodies are trying to tell us something. The ‘acquiring’ of a taste is in fact overriding our innate sense that that thing doesn’t serve us.
Yes but the more we listen to our bodies the more we can pick up what our bodies are actually communicating with us 24/7.
My life completely changed when I began to listen to and honour the messages from my body, realising that my body never lies, instead offering wisdom that far surpasses the chatter of the mind. I can’t help but wonder how our world would be if we all began to live guided by the truth we feel from our bodies.
Gosh you had heaps more awareness then I had, when I was drinking I never felt my body at all. only when I was about to pass out. And then it was all over and I would wake up and start again. Not very intelligent for an extremely intelligent young woman.
We can so easily not want to be honest about what something is doing to us because we like what it brings us on another level. I was like that with alcohol, it was my fix pretty much most days having that time with friends and not having to feel anything that was really going on. When I started my journey back to my Soul with the support of Universal Medicine it was a major confirmation that I knew alcohol was not great for me. How it altered my state of being and then end up wrapped around a toilet throwing up because my body didn’t want it in its system. So over a few years of testing it out I stopped drinking alcohol and to this day I know it is one of the best things I have ever done.
Drinking is often seen as harmless yet this is far from the truth, we need drink when we are not ourselves because in truth we are missing ourselves and want to avoid the emptiness that is there when we are not connected to that divine quality we do all hold inside.
And I feel that is also why we “have to” drink when we are in social settings such as dinner parties. We get to have a chance to actually connect with others but we find that too confronting so we use this drug, which is what it is, and we miss the opportunity.
That there is something so prevalent in society that erodes our fundamental connection to ourselves is an extraordinary reflection on where humanity is now.
Alcohol sure is one big killer of loveliness in our lives. But we seem to invent things all of the time to distract ourselves away from…what? If we would take away all the things we have such as technical gadgets and whatever we use then we would be left with… Us I guess and that freaks us out, being with ourselves. I know because I sometimes feel the same when things get more quiet and I have the chance to feel more of myself. I can get restless and want to do things. But it is worth stopping and feel for sure because when we do we get a taste of what we have been looking and searching for for millennia, which is the real us.
It’s very sad that something so harmful to the body as alcohol is, don’t be socially questioned, specially when its consume is increasing dramatically in the young ages. What are we allowing and offering to our children with this? We need as a society take responsibility to reflect about alcohol consumption effects and why do we generally choose this way to relate and ‘celebrate’.
The first time I drank alcohol it became obvious that I didn’t like the taste and I didn’t like how my body felt the next day. For the next 18 years or so this became my normal and then it got to a point where I decided that actually is it really worth it. Inspired by the courses I had attended with Universal Medicine and connecting to a stillness within these actions started to become even louder. I started to realise I was not giving up anything but stopping a habit that was very unloving to my body and being.