I love going to bed early, I always have. As a kid I’d go to bed early and I’d get up really early, – it’s just naturally what I did.
Even when I was in my early teens I did this. I would always be up before 6 am to do my paper round. What I really loved was that it was quiet, no one else was around apart from the birds, a little wildlife and the sun coming up – it was a really precious time. In the summer time I would be up out of bed extra early, by 5 am, and after my paper round I’d go for a swim at the open air swimming pool before cycling to school and just about getting to the class register in time… it felt great.
What didn’t feel good was when I used to have to wait for my dad to pick me up from my grandma’s house in the evenings. Often he would work late till 10 pm or later, and I would be dog tired, trying to stay awake, wishing I could go to bed. This would make it a struggle to get up the next day and I would be like a zombie in the mornings and it felt awful. I would rarely speak to anyone in this state.
When I progressed into my later teens and life became about going out in the evenings and drinking, clubbing and taking drugs, I really suffered. Often I would go straight to work in a restaurant that morning (without going to bed at all) and my dad would have to meet me with my work uniform at the train station.
When these sorts of weekends happened and I had ignored my sleep rhythm completely, I would usually get sick. Often I would suffer from tonsillitis, or I would feel completely wiped out and needing to stay in bed for a few days, feeling feverish and depleted. This happened regularly, as during this time I rarely listened to my body at all.
I still don’t like the feeling of being really knackered when I go to bed. Even if I lie in the next day, I don’t feel as energised as when I have an early night. In fact, if I doze on or fall asleep again, I can feel really groggy from too much sleep or not having the right quality of sleep.
It’s like I’m not honouring my body when I’m ready to wake up and start the day. This is the same as not honouring what I’m feeling when I’m tired and ready to go to sleep.
About 7 years ago, I heard Serge Benhayon present at a Universal Medicine workshop that our bodies get the most beneficial rest when sleeping between 9 pm and 3 am. So I decided to try it.
At the time I was working full time 9 am to 6 pm, commuting 3 hours each day, and studying. I would get home around 7.30 pm, have supper, and would try to read or do homework afterwards, but of course I was too tired. I began setting my alarm for about 5 am, and actually did my reading and assignments in bed. Sometimes I would go for a swim before work and for the first time ever, I would make myself a healthy and delicious breakfast before I left the house, rather than rushing out the door and grabbing a snack at the train station. Suddenly, mornings were my absolute favourite time of the day again:
I was allowing myself the time to do various tasks without rushing and I even enjoyed my commute, as there was time to walk along the river instead of catching a bus.
Now I go to bed between 9 and 10 pm, sometimes earlier. I love going to bed early, getting into bed and snuggling, writing in my diary, drinking herbal tea and massaging cream into my hands. I love waking early and I get so much done in that time, whether it’s writing, cooking, studying, exercise, massage … If I tried to do these things in the evening after working all day, I know I would be feeling too tired to enjoy them in the same way.
In the evenings I can come home and start winding down from my day, knowing any other tasks I have to do can be done when I wake up bright as a button the next morning. I don’t feel the need to stay up late after a day at work to have ‘me’ time, as I have already had this before work.
It feels natural to me and makes so much sense to go to bed early when I begin feeling tired in the evening, rather than staying up late and actually waking up still feeling tired before a new day ahead. I’m still refining this rhythm and my sleep, as sometimes I might eat too much in the evening, slob out, or eat something sweet, and consequently I struggle to get up in the morning, so I’m beginning to notice more how I am and what I’m doing at the end of my day to ensure I feel great when I wake.
What’s interesting is that the same principle also plays out throughout the day. I notice if I eat too much at lunchtime or don’t take a break from my desk, I can get sleepy or unfocussed. What started off as just experimenting with going to bed a little earlier and doing homework in the morning instead of the evening, has developed into a rhythm that supports me throughout my whole day.
My body is always telling me what it likes and what it doesn’t. I am learning to listen and honour this and take more care of myself. Winding down from my day and going to bed early has certainly been a big part of the way I now self-care.
With thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine practitioners and the student body who are a constant support and inspiration to me.
By Laura Hoy, Essential Oil Consultant, Company Manager, Brighton, UK
Further Reading:
Sleep – Time To Restore And Refresh
Sleep
Early to Bed, Early to Rise, Makes you Healthy, Wealthy and Wise
922 Comments
Thank you for sharing Laura – this is awesome. I totally relate to a lot of what you’ve shared, in particular how much of a difference it makes when I go to bed after over eating, eating something sweet or having a late night on my morning tired-levels and vitality. Over the past month or so I’ve been working on getting to bed earlier, because I found in the mornings I just could not get up – I was so exhausted even though I was only going to bed at around 9.45/10pm… And the difference just 45 minutes makes to my sleep – I toss and turn much less – and how fresh I feel the next morning is huge!
I love what you have shared here. If we work it out according to a clock we are making it a mental exercise. It is only through listening to the communication from our bodies that we get a sense of what our natural rhythm is, when it needs a little more sleep and when it enjoys a little less.
I really enjoyed reading this article Laura, i can so relate to what you have written, I also love going to bed early, and love getting up early, this is my favourite time of day, i feel energised, clear and i love to have a long shower, getting dressed really gently and then catching up on emails and cooking food for the day, it feels so lovely having this quiet time before everyone else wakes up, it feels like this time is for me, it is a lovely, steady start to the day.
A beautiful sharing Laura, thankyou. I too have always preferred going to bed early – used to fall asleep on the sofa at dinner parties back in the day! “My body is always telling me what it likes and what it doesn’t. I am learning to listen and honour this and take more care of myself.” This is pure gold; only by truly listening to our bodies will we really learn what it is we need to take care of ourselves.
Very true Sue. Our bodies are marker of truth through we can be guided to know what is needed to support us to live with the vitality that we are designed to naturally live.
Yes Laura, when I allow my body to lead the way – it allows me to feel all the wisdom that is available. Your beautiful blog inspires me to do some further refining to my morning and evening routines as I can feel how they are constantly evolving and requiring a new level of commitment. As you have said when we begin our day with space to do what we need to do to support us for the day our days has a natural flow and expansiveness.
That’s the key to a healthy and vital life Susan, the constant reflection on and refinement on how we are living and the choices we are making – all done by listening to our bodies.
Great blog Laura, me too I find it a lot easier to go to bed early. I have been doing so for the last six years unless I was working a late evening. Mornings are usually a lot easier with no need for an alarm clock. I usually feel tired if I over eat during the day too.
Thank you for sharing Laura, I can relate to always being an early bird along with my father who would get up really early and we would sit and enjoy the quiet of the day before my mother and siblings got up. Then like you my rhythm changed when I started work and going out to the local night clubs, but it never felt right and I always struggled the next day. Since returning to my early to bed rhythm I am finding I have a lot more energy during the day and I don’t start the day with a rush or being late – in fact I’m in work 30 minutes earlier than my colleagues, ready and all set up to start work. What I have noticed is that if I react to situations during the day my quality of sleep is fitful and I don’t feel as bright the next day – this shows me that there is so much we can learn from our sleep rhythm.
Thank you Laura for a great blog.
In our family, we all got up early and I remember early mornings as a child and that feeling of preciousness of witnessing the beginning of a brand new day and the divine smells of nature when I opened the shutters. I remember, when I was a university student in Paris waking up extra early and doing my studies at 4.00 – my room mate would do hers late into the night when I was sleeping. This early-to-bed-early-to-rise rhythm has never left me even when peer pressure dictated me otherwise. This is a rhythm that truly supports our body and our health and it has certainly supported me through life.
Going to bed early is pinnacle to how the following day unfolds. If I go to bed too late then I am tired the next day and all the things I had planned to do in the early morning don’t happen as I feel sluggish and tired and my eyes feel heavy. I now have a natural rhythm of waking up at 4am and I love this time, it is me time, when I can get so much done without the rush and urgency that can sometimes happen later in the day.
What I find interesting is when I am feeling tired but my head tells me there are all these things to do before I can go to bed, a lot of which can be done the next day. A lot of the time they are there as a distraction, to get in the way of me choosing to go to bed, and other times there is some validity in them. I am learning to really discern where these thoughts come from and whether they are truly supportive or not.
Yes isn’t it interesting Robyn – how these ‘thoughts’ try to trip us up and not let us follow what we feel. Reminds me of the ‘thought-monsters’ again – those little beasties – we need to just send them packing …
I whole-heartedly agree Laura. Since being introduced to the concept by Serge Benhayon that the body’s natural sleep pattern is to go to bed about 9.00pm and to rise early and after trying it, I have found it so supportive to my way of living and I now, too, adore it. Life feels so much fuller and less stressful.
“My body is always telling me what it likes and what it doesn’t. I am learning to listen and honour this and take more care of myself. Winding down from my day and going to bed early has certainly been a big part of the way I now self-care”.
This is really inspiring to read Laura; I love the way you have come full circle, honouring what you knew and felt to be true as a child.
I absolutely love going to bed early and getting up early too. I also love the still quiet mornings and enjoy this time to quietly get things done. It offers spaciousness to my whole day and I feel less pressured as a result, which means when I get home I am able to wind down more easily in the evening for a good sleep, ready to start the whole cycle again.
Waking up naturally and going gently into my day, with space to prepare myself as I feel to, is a really precious time and supports me in the rest of my day.
It makes me think of the stereotypical morning rush that is many peoples normal routine, at one point in my life I was already stressed and exhausted by the time I made it to work at 9am -if I wasn’t late that is… then you have to get your self back together as the day goes by… not supportive at all.
I love this blog Laura, its so practical, and makes so much sense. I too was always someone who loved early to bed early to rise – and I too as I got into my teenage years and adult years pushed past my natural inclination to go to bed early (because everyone else didnt go to bed early). When I met Serge Benhayon it was a great relief and celebration to realise that going to bed early is actually natural, and my body always knew it. I too now go to bed around 9 pm and love the early mornings – the day feels so spacious that way.
When my kids were little, their natural rhythm was to wake up early as I think is the case with every child on the planet. Similarly to you Laura, I remember early mornings as a child myself (and also slightly rarer occasions as a teenager) when early morning starts would welcome me to a different quality in nature, a sense of space when the world was quiet and everything is super still. Yet when I was handed the reins myself, staying up late was the cool thing to do… and then as an adult it would just get stretched trying to fit more in… even if that was just staying up late watching some rubbish on TV. The changes I have made in the last 10 years have brought that back for me, and it is a precious gift that I love dearly each and every day – a gift that has much to do with the presentations by Serge and Natalie Benhayon.
It is interesting that we are so naturally connected and responsive to our bodies and what they are telling us when we are young, and then somewhere along the way we start to believe that staying up late is ‘just what people do’, its the ‘cool thing to do’ etc, and our bodies suffer for it. Even though, as you say Simon, we know and appreciate the stillness and quiet, we still choose to over-ride our bodies wisdom with the arrogance of our mind.
I very much agree the early morning hours are a very magical time. This already is reason for me enough to go to bed early so I am able to be up again early to experience these early hours without rushing or feeling tired.
So true Esther, I love the hours in the early morning, so still and pristine! And I really miss them when I sleep too long in the morning.
i’ve always enjoyed going to bed early and this is something that I enjoyed as a teenager too. I am inspired that you got up as a child at 5 or 6 which isn’t something I remember doing, but getting up early is something I do now. That precious time in the morning sets me up for my day and I normally do not feel pressured or rushed in the morning. I can absolutely testify that between 9.00 pm and 3.00 am is the best time for sleep and if I haven’t set myself up in my day for this to happen I certainly feel the consequences the next day and have to be super gentle with myself.
Laura, what you have described is so important to the quality of my life. I so enjoy refining sleep and how it impacts on my vitality. My family have always said I obsess about it – but now I know why it has been so important to me – because it underpins our health. My issue for years has been anxiety and how this knocks the quality of my sleep as I take it to bed with me – if I’m disturbed in the night I can’t get back to sleep easily. Partners and children have been at the tail end of a grumpy wife/mum – so my responsibility is to ease my anxiety. Sleep is so yummy – it’s warm and snuggly and feels like the world is giving us a huge big hug. I love the sleep/repose time. Thank you for expanding on all of this. 🙂
What a great sharing Laura about early bed and early rising and I really relate to this also . As a child and throughout most of my life I always went to bed early and woke brightly at 5 am automatically. What a joy it was to start the day when all was quiet and still with the whole day ahead of me. Later bed times when going out and also when over tired was always not supporting and my next day or days were a struggle. The joy of returning to early beds and supportive rhythms and life style speaks for itself with a vitality and sparkle in life and all it offers us. Meeting Serge Benhayon presenting this and much more has simply allowed me to reclaim all I knew inside and know it to be true.
I came to realise again lately that going to bed early, and then having lots of time in the morning to do all that is needed is supporting me so much in my everyday life. It brings a natural rhythm full of joy, and an ability to be feeling clear.
Yea I get that too Benkt – especially that abilty to feel clear and uncluttered.
So supportive to keep the rhythms you have described Laura, it’s the only way I have discovered that not only supports me to feel so focused and connected in the body, it also enables me to work long days and over a prolonged period, without my body feeling drained and exhausted.
I agree Merrilee, although my body is getting older, my energy levels are greater and so much steadier than they were when I was younger. I can sustain full and long days over a prolonged period without tiredness. It quite amazes me really, and I put it down to my rhythms, which can always be refined of course but provide a great foundation.
Yes me too Josephine, I find that as well, and am often still amazed at what I am able to accomplish in a day and not feeling this exhaustion anymore that I used to feel when I had no loving and nurturing rhythm in place.
I have always been adorning person myself, growing up on a farm it was alway up with a sparrows and down with a lark. I overrode this for about twenty five years. Even if I wasn’t out I would watch mindless Tv thinking I’d be missing something if I went to bed early. Now I’m back in my true sleep rhythm and life is good as going to bed before 9pm really suits me.
Thank you for sharing this Laura. I also have always enjoyed getting up early in the morning and struggled to stay awake at night but felt I was missing out or being boring if I went to bed early because it wasn’t what everyone else did. When I stopped trying to ‘fit in’ and developed a sleep rhythm that felt right for me my early mornings are fun again. I am not missing out on anything as I have ‘me’ time all day.
Laura I too have been working on my rhythm and been playing with my sleep times. I am finding the earlier I go to bed the fresher I feel, when I awake. I love to be in bed by 8-8.30pm, which does not always happen. If I go to bed close to 9pm or later I feel a lot more tired. When I am in bed early the next morning I can wake early feeling refreshed and energised, if I stay in bed and indulge when my body is saying I should be awake, I feel groggy for the rest on my day. Our body knows how much sleep we need and when, honouring that is so important, is what I am learning.
Yes, I can relate to what you write Amita, for me the same times work really well. And as you share, I have tried to sleep longer in the morning whenever I feel sluggish and heavy on waking, but it does not work for me either. I much rather get up and gently move my body and then make sure I take better care of myself that night before I go to bed.
I put this early to bed early to rise theory to the test years ago when I was working and studying full-time. I would up at 3:30am and study for a couple of hours before heading to the beach for a walk before my shift started at 7:00am. I would generally finish work around 4:00pm, go home wind down and go to bed early depending on how tired I felt. It worked really well as I found it much easier to focus early in the morning that after a day’s work.. It did take a lot of discipline to maintain this rhythm consistently.
Very interesting Abby – so many students who are taking courses or degrees, or attending University do the polar opposite of what you just shared; stay up late, study hard at night, live out of rhythm and end up totally exhausted.. I’d love to see a study done of students who went to bed early, woke up and did some work in the mornings as well as not cramming everything in last minute, to see if there was much change to their quality of living, mental health and general health.
I agree Susie, it would be great to study the way we study. This is exactly what confirmed how supportive it is for me to sleep and wake early as in the evenings after working full time I just felt too tired to read. I know some people say it suits them to be working late at night but I wonder if this is the adrenals kicking in which would not have a great affect on the body, especially long term?
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Laura. I agree with you. Going to bed early feels so supportive and makes such a difference to the quality in which I live my day. I really connected to your expression: ‘My body is always telling me what it likes and what it doesn’t. I am learning to listen and honour this, and take more care of myself. Winding down from my day and going to be early has certainly been a big part of the way I now self-care.’ This simple commitment to self-love supports us all as we choose to be consciously present in our busy activities. I really felt the joy when you choose to honour you and the stillness that brings to your day.
“…so I’m beginning to notice more how I am and what I’m doing at the end of my day to ensure I feel great when I wake.” Thankyou Laura, this is a great way to look at and understand the unending cycle through which we move and that we move in. The quality of the next revolution is determined by the quality of the previous one. In this way we begin to iron out the creases and kinks that get in the way of a smooth revolution. When we are able to do this, exhaustion disappears, for we are not fighting the natural spin of the Earth and going against the current. We allow ourselves to move and be moved by love and by virtue of this, we are able to move in harmony with the each other, the cycles in nature and thus the rest of the cosmos and the rhythm of God that moves it all to be so.
Liane, I love how you bring in the universe and our connection to the natural rhythms and order that exist within it of which we are a part. You bring in the grandness and how every choice no matter how small, either confirms and takes us with the natural spin, the rhythm of God and thus harmonises and expands us or we feel the tension of going against what is naturally flowing and always available to connect with if we are still enough.
I can so relate to what you share here Liane…”When we are able to do this, exhaustion disappears, for we are not fighting the natural spin of the Earth and going against the current.” When young we seem to naturally follow these cycles – our body tells us its tired, so we lie down where-ever we are, and yet as adults we complicate life by over-riding our bodies wisdom with the arrogance of our minds, and consequently end up fighting our bodies natural rhythm and resisting the natural flow of life. I loved early to bed, early to rise as a child, and it was only as an adult that exhaustion insidiously crept in…staying up late to ‘get things done’, waking depleted, pushing through the day and evening again to get things done, going to bed late and waking more exhausted – a constant battle with life, and then blaming the world for my exhaustion and not so joyful life! Since making the choice to go to bed by 9pm, sometimes earlier, and rising early, exhaustion has gone, I no longer feel depleted, there is a flow to my day and to my life… everything gets done in the natural flow of life and there is a simplicity to living.
My body feels lighter in having read your comment Liane, there is nothing for me to fight as every particle or cell in my body aligns to the cycles of the Universe and so it knows what is needed at the end of the day, I am learning to listen to it much more lovingly and attentively.
Thank you Liane, it’s great to look at our bodies this way, as either in rhythm with everything or against it. I’m sure we’ve all felt those times when we’re just in the flow, and everything happens with ease. It’s very illuminating to connect that feeling of exhaustion with being out of rhythm, that it is a fight against our natural way which leaves us depleted wether it’s the things we chose to eat, the way we chose to sleep, or even the way we move. Everything affects us, and in turn all those around us…
Laura, I love how you experimented with what you had heard presented by Serge Benhayon and had your own experience that supports you greatly. I know inside and out how much my body loves to go to sleep early but for a while now I have been pushing myself later and later at night to get things done. Except the quality in how I get things completed is very much lacking, as I’m so tired. And I find when I’m tired I go for food more to pep me up, where as in truth I need to just go to bed. Thanks for this invaluable reminder!
Yes a vicious cycle Aimee even when we are aware of our choices! I’ve realised how much I identify with the struggle and so when it comes to making those loving choices all of a sudden there’s a block in the way! Letting go of the identification for me is the key to letting go full stop I feel, because in fact those loving choices are really simple to make.
Well said Aimee, love it. We can only know what feels true to us and our body once we’ve tried it out and experimented with it – it’s no use agreeing with presentations or teachings if you do not feel that what’s being said rings true. That’s why I love how Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present – they strongly encourage you to take things into your own hands and never nod away without feeling if it’s true for you.
So true Susie. One of universal medicines greatest teachings is to give power back to our bodies. We get told so much that does not make sense by those in authority and we override and dismiss what we feel as someone else more studied must know better. The greatest truth is in someone’s body and not from their head and what a piece of paper tells them.
What I have found is when we make the ‘me’ time at the start of the day, then our whole day and the way that it then plays, becomes infused with this quality. If this time has been used to honour our innate rhythms, then this rhythm is what we allow to carry us throughout our day. This for me has been the key to not pushing the ‘me’ to the side in order to ‘get the job done’ and nor does it allow a boundary to worm its way in between what is ‘work’ and what is ‘play’ – it is all one endless cycle in which to bring ‘the all of us’ into the all that we do.
Thanks for sharing that Liane, pushing me aside to get the job done is a work in progress for me. When I slip into the drive, I know I lose myself. I will try increasing the me time at the start of the day.
Liane I love how you bring that there is really no difference between ‘work’ and ‘play’ and that in truth it is one endless cycle. This is something I am only just discovering and as I do it is totally opening up the way I view the world.
I so agree Samantha, for me in fact work is play and sometimes play is hard work, because when I loose myself in ‘doing’ life I forget how to be with myself, have fun and be playful.
That is why we have so many stimulants and distractions, because even when we have ‘me’ time, we don’t really want to spend it with ourselves, because we feel so awful after everything we have loaded into our bodies during the day.
I love this Liane and Samantha, separating work from play is almost like trying to separate our legs from our arms. Each is needed to make the whole function, if one is not the whole cannot.
Yes Liane I have found this important as well, not setting boundaries in the day for ‘work’ ‘play’ etc because this is restricting. The truly rewarding thing about life is bringing all of us to everything we do, as we discover so much. Life is indeed an endless cycle and we just choose the quality in which we live. With this can come great understanding of ourselves, the world and the magic of God.
‘Me time’ has been a big thing for me which I can still feel plays a part in my choices during my time at home. I can feel very clearly now how this is a possessive, individual choice which excludes everyone else – a retreat from the world. I absolutely love what you say here Liane – I can feel how deeply supportive for not only ourselves, but everyone if “we make the ‘me’ time at the start of the day, then our whole day and the way that it then plays, becomes infused with this quality” for what can be more supportive for myself and the whole than bringing all of ‘me’ into every single part of our day.
This is gorgeous Lucy, preparing ourselves to be gorgeous for the world each day…
So true Liane. ‘Me time’ becomes a way of being throughout the day rather than a separate piece of time or part of the day. This takes away the pressure to find that special time or the temptation to let it slip in favour of getting things done.
This boundary you speak of Liane between work and play is something I still struggle with. When I compartmentalise life I make one thing good, like me time, and other things not so good, like work. I like your description of starting the day honouring your rhythm, then the rest of the day is about bringing all of you to the task at hand, regardless of what it is.
I completely agree with you Liane, ‘If this time has been used to honour our innate rhythms, then this rhythm is what we allow to carry us throughout our day.’ I find this ‘me’ time in the morning very supportive, it feels like it is the foundation for my day, I feel solid, calm and steady in my day, if for some reason I have not had this lovely, calm ‘me’ time in the morning then i can feel that it disrupts my day and that I feel wobbly, less calm and less present.
This has been my experience too, Liane. The quality at the start of the day influences the whole day and what I do for me in that time is equally important as the other things I do.
I have a different experience. The early morning is when I have the clarity to work and I usually get a few hours of work in before I leave for work! The evenings, or right before bed are when the ‘me’ time happens with a natural flow. I’m working on honouring that time for myself more and committing to it instead of pushing it aside. But whether we do this at the beginning of the day or the end of the day it is having it in our rhythm that is important.
I love how you say “…it is all one endless cycle in which to bring ‘the all of us’ into the all that we do.” So true and these rhythms fully support us with this.
This is indeed an important distinction to make – that compartmentalising life between work and play and believing we can bring a particular quality to each is a false notion and belies the fact that life is ‘one endless cycle in which to bring ‘the all of us’ into the all that we do.’ The quality we live is with us at every moment of the day – be that in our sleep or our waking hours. It definitely pays to consider our quality at all times and in all aspects of life.
So true Lianne, thank you for sharing this lovely reminder about work and play being the one cycle.I am also inspired by your repose rhythm Laura, thank you. Truely. Nurturing.
I love what you share here, Liane. Starting a day with ‘me time’ which inevitably prepares me for whatever next is there for me to do – makes absolute sense, which then would prepare me for a quality of sleep to get me up the next day ready to start all over again.
Great point Liane! It makes such a difference to start the day with ‘me’ and then take me into the day, instead of running around loosing myself in the process and then feeling I need to make up for that at night, because I somehow miss myself and therefore feel I missed out on life.
I love what you’ve said here Liane. Such a simple concept, to do all that is needed for ourelves first, in the morning, and then take all that we are, out to work, or wherever we may be with carrying with us, a steadiness that can be felt by whomever come into contact with. Why would anyone want to resist that?! Sounds amazing to me…I just need to choose it as my way of life.
Beautifully said Liane Mandalis. I particularly love the endless cycle in which we bring all of us into all that we do.
Ahahah, what an expression Liane I have to look in my dictionary to find out what “a boundary to worm” is . . . as I knew it I had to laugh because it is such a good expression to describe it. I love it to bring all of me into the all that I do because it is they way I got more fun otherwise it could end up in hard work what tasted not so good.
Thank you, Laura your sharing sheds a lot of light on the rhythms we develop to assist our life or not. I have found it so good to go to bed early, read one of Serge Benhayon’s books and then gently go to sleep. I am waking in the very early hours of the morning which gives me plenty of time and space to have done nearly half a day’s work before breakfast. Rarely do I get tired and I feel a real purpose in my life from the rhythms that I have developed.
Yes Susan I am also loving the ‘wee small hours of the morning’ the stillness is so nurturing, and the work completed easily is a result. However i have tried to do the same work in the evening and it was painful… Nothing came to me, thus it took twice as long.
I absolutely love what you have shared Laura as listening to our bodies and their natural rhythm makes so much sense! What a contrast our days can be when we run ourselves tired or revitalised and what an impact this has on everything we do and every relationship we have. There is something very profound and precious about taking ones body to sleep and to deeply rest at an hour of the day that supports the way one will live the following day and each day thereafter.
I agree Cherise, listening to our bodies is key to developing a loving and harmonious rhythm. I also find if I push myself in the day, get caught up in what I am doing then if I do not let myself let this go in the evening I end up sleeping in an agitated way and usually have dreams processing/going over what I did in the day and so do not wake up feeling very refreshed! I have found going for a walk after a busy day at work helps to let the day go and take me out of some of the whirlwind of thoughts I can find myself swept up in!
Great sharing James of how we can get caught up in thoughts and take them to bed with us, which can give a very unsettled sleep with disturbed dreams which leaves us feeling very tired the next day. I have a friend who says they are sometimes unable to switch off the mind as the events of the day are still running like a film before going to bed. Gentle breath meditation can then help bring them back into a stillness.
Thanks Laura, great blog I can relate to some of your experience and have run myself down and into a wall trying to keep up with others who are on the ‘party wheel’. It was not fun when so exhausted I could not function the next day. Now with greater awareness of simple steps to health and loving care for myself – it is lovely to go to bed by about 9pm and then ‘carpe diem’ – seize the day from usually a very early and refreshing time. Love it! So lovely to be able to meet and observe others from a refreshed point of view – instead of being under a cloud.
Great point Andrew, “So lovely to be able to meet and observe others from a refreshed point of view – instead of being under a cloud.” So true, It really does effect how we see and feel about everything if we are tired or exhausted. I know for myself when I’m tired I feel like I don’t want to deal with the bigger stuff, yet when I am taking care of myself and going to bed early, the so called bigger stuff doesn’t feel big at all.
Well said. It is difficult to observe life without reacting or taking things on if we are tired, agitated and without clarity. When we are tired, we are far less equipped to live our day.
Very well said Deborah, when we are tired we are less equipped to deal with life. Today exhaustion has been labelled an epidemic and is co-morbid with so many illnesses and diseases. I wonder how much we could cut this rate down if we all just simply took responsibility for our sleep, eating and exercise. We are so accustomed to be offered quick fixes that we forget the true power to change comes from within.
So true Aimee, when we are tired and grumpy we create a life that is so much harder for ourselves causing struggle throughout the day. Everything seems much bigger than what it really is and we can get overwhelmed by it all. I am hardly ever grumpy now from feeling tired which not only do I appreciate but those around me do too!
Spot on, living from under a cloud of tiredness and fatigue is not much fun at all and makes us feel very dull, it takes the enjoyment out of everything.
When I read the line “instead of being under a cloud” I remembered how it was to be tired all the time. Nowadays when I’m tired it is because I need to rest, then after a short rest I carry on refreshed. It is slightly different to the constant haze and cloud of a rhythm that does not support me and where I was constantly tired. A short rest in this scenario does very little.
All true Nikki. I find I can also get tired when I hold back and don’t do what is there to be done. No where in the world do we yet study the fact that we get exhausted due to holding back and not living who we truly are. This is a science serge benhayon brought through many years ago and one that makes perfect sense to the out of control rates of exhaustion related illnesses. The student body is living proof that we are capable of so much more.
Yes I found that too – when I do feel tired a short rest is very nurturing and after I am truly energised. Mostly when I need a rest like that is when I have not paid attention the night before and have been out of rhythm a little. The fact that I need a rest reminds me of that and even though I give myself that rest and then can carry on with whatever I am doing, it’s the body telling me to check in and stay aware.
I feel both your strength and delicateness, and this is just beautiful. Thank you, Laura. I really get that about not getting up when the body is ready. Sometimes I wake up much earlier than I anticipated and my mind goes ‘I can’t have been rested. I need a few more hours’ and I am learning to let the body lead the way and be surprised at how it responds when it’s deeply honoured.
Allowing the body to lead the way can be challenging at times. I am still coming to terms with the fact that our body is so wise. My head seems to think that it has it all covered… but it doesn’t. When I listen to my body it always works out and in the most supportive, in all ways, for everyone. There is just a pride or arrogance in me that thinks it knows better… but it doesn’t.
For me it feels like a real letting go of control and trusting my body and this is something I am still learning as I develop a deeper relationship with my body.
Oh dear yes!! Letting go of control – my biggest hurdle in life to date. I am an early sleeper and early riser, but there is absolutely a level of control that has me ‘perform’ in this way. I am naturally tired early and enjoy waking up early, but the moment something gets in the way of my plan to be in bed by a certain time, I have difficulty accepting it, and allowing it to just be, and consequently get exhasuted from being worked up about a tiny blip in the old system.
Old habits die hard, but I’m certainly working on them.
We do think we know better in our minds but listening to our bodies brings about real intelligence. Letting go of control and learning to surrender to my body I do find challenging at times but I know it is the only way to be at ease with myself and have a flow in my day.
I agree Fumiyo, I often wake up early but have the thought that that cannot be enough sleep, so go back to sleep and wake up feeling groggy. Feels like time to learn from this one!
True, this is such a trick we play on ourselves. Whenever i ignore my body, i end up paying for it in one way or another.
So true Deborah, whenever we abuse our bodies in any way, shape or form, we have to pay the consequences for it as there is no getting away with it.
Getting up very early or not getting up very early – I do it by feel. If I lie in bed and don’t feel any need for sleep I simply get up. If I am not sure and I lie down and instantly fall asleep, I assume that it was better to sleep a little longer but it seems quite elastic how much sleep I need. Also if I have a purpose for waking up early I am much more likely to do so.
I don’t feel I can apply and good rules, just do what feels right at any given morning and see where that goes.
Love your way Christoph. Whenever I go into what I ‘should’ do or when I ‘should’ be waking up, I then sleep feeling anxious and don’t sleep soundly. This is something I am working on Monday to Friday when I use an alarm to wake up as I’m worried I may sleep through. Majority of the time I wake up before my alarm anyway.
Most days I do not set an alarm. I am learning to trust that when I do wake up I have had enough sleep. If the day before has not been my usual day eg.yesterday I went to a funeral, then I can wake up earlier than what I would normally. I then feel into what supports me. This morning I fell back to skeep and when I woke an hour later I felt to check in with my body to how it was feeling. What I am learning most is not to indulge in lying in bed especially if I have woken up earlier than my usual time.
Great point Fumiyo, our bodies do know, I’ve often woken up and thought I can’t get up now it’s way too early but when I do somehow my day just flows, the worse thing I can do is sleep in, I then feel more tired, so I’m learning to honour and live that my body does know. I love this blog Laura, how you simply and clearly live and experimented with sleep and it’s impact on you. I know this also and now love my mornings which is a big turnaround for me – I am so much more bright and sparky now because of it – it really is life- changing.
Yes Monica, I feel so much more alert when I wake up and another great bonus for me is I no longer need coffee to wake me up. The natural sleep rhythm I now have means I wake feeling refreshed and not needing a caffeine fix to get me going.
I can remember that! waking up and first thing I would think about is a coffee or a cigarette! Oh how times have changed I now wake up so refreshed and raring to go, no more groggy mornings thank God!
I’ve experienced the same Fumiyo and Monica, waking much earlier than my normal time I have 2 choices – to “let the body lead the way” and begin my day, or go back to sleep, the latter invariably leaving me more tired when I wake again.
I agree with all of these comments, my body often wakes up before my alarm, but I go into my head and think its too early, i often then sleep in longer than my alarm and as a result i feel like im trying to catch up the rest of the day and so feel rushed and that I haven’t had this precious time for me in the morning, i feel so much much more vital and calm and steady if i wake early and have this spaciousness in the morning.
So true Hannah. We can let the body lead the way or allow or thoughts to dictate. We have an erroneous belief that we need more sleep to renergise when in truth there is no greater energiser than purpose.
Yes Fumiyo I too have discovered my body is waking earlier too and I question if I have had enough sleep. When in fact the body already knows the answer and no questions are needed as the body has spoken. Our bodies are true leaders of health and what will support us everyday.
I can relate to this. If I wake earlier than my alarm and then go back to sleep, thinking that I need more, I often miss my alarm and sleep in and wake feeling tired due to the disruption to the quality of sleep. Our body knows best, we just have to trust it.
I know that feeling too! “Surely I can’t get up now” but it’s amazing when I do how the day feels more supported, less rushed, more open and spacious. This leaves me feeling energised during the day so I get less tired. It’s the push, rush, striving to get things done which is the killer. More space = more time = less exhaustion!
So true Rachael. There are so many things we get told about the body that don’t make sense. Including coffee and alcohol can be good for us. All coming from individuals who want this to be true. There really is no greater scientist than our own bodies. Whether we need three hours of sleep or eight it is our body that will let us know if it is true or not and not a scientist or doctor behind a desk who does not know his/her own body.
This is a thing I have had to let go of as well Fumiyo and trust the body knows when it has had enough sleep. Recently I have been going to bed by 9pm and waking at 2-2.30 and feeling energised which carries over throughout the day. I put this down to the deep nurturing and rhythm I am offering my body now before going to sleep and on waking.
Beautiful Laura. I too used to go to bed early all the time when I was younger and as I got into my later teens it was staying up late on social media! lol. I too have found so much benefit in going to bed earlier and have felt that love return, the joy of getting up early, the magic of rhythm in my days and having a solid and consistent feeling of ‘me’. Honouring our sleeping rhythm is an important part of how we are on a whole and interesting to read how you described some things which you have found can affect your sleep.
Everything effects everything, because everything is energy, and everything is because of energy – a teaching of the Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Therefore whether we listen to our body or not has an impact… and I am only just scratching the surface on how profound listening to my body actually is.
Harrison, I absolutely agree “honouring our sleeping rhythm is an important part of how we are on a whole”. It is so natural for us really, to go to bed early and get up and start the day early. It is what our forefathers did for generations before electricity became available. They lived by the rhythm of the seasons. When we live as so many of us now do, going to bed at all sorts of late hours, and then sleeping in late in the morning, and rushing to be ready to go to work, sometimes foregoing breakfast, it takes such a toll on our bodies and on our health.
Yes Harrison, whereas my mornings in the past would be rushed, tired with me feeling groggy and grumpy, now they are such a sweet beautiful part of the day. To look out at the stars in the stillness of the early morning and then go about writing or whatever it is we feel to in that previous time is the most amazing way to start the day — every day.
The same Katerina, my mornings from late nights were always rushed that put me into a cycle of agitation or anxiousness about the day ahead — and now to feel truly fresh and rejuvenated at the start of the day from early nights feels gorgeous in the body and also has a really productive sense to everything too…because there is energy and a vitality too.
Awesome study into the benefits of early to bed early to rise Laura Hoy! Our bodies know what supports the cycles and cycles within cycles within them! Thank you
What a great blog Laura! There were so many things I could connect to from my own experience and so many great things for me to be reminded of.. in particular, how I love the quiet and stillness of the early mornings (a great time to connect to and appreciate nature 🙂 ), but mostly how I love going to bed early and how when I listen to my body, this becomes a natural, simple, supportive choice that honours me!
Angela, I too appreciate the quiet and stillness of early in the morning… if only I would have experimented with going to bed early when my children were younger instead of staying up until 11pm or later trying to get all the housework done. It was such a viscous cycle of being exhausted during the day and not feeling I could keep up with everything, and then staying up later. Going to bed early and rising early feels so natural.
Like you both say Aimee and Angela – I feel this too, it is such a joy to go to bed early, feeling that natural tiredness and going into a restful sleep not from exhaustion but from just allowing the body to replenish itself. I never really stayed up late when the children were small, as they were in bed by 7 pm most of the times, however I did feel tired every morning and wanted to lay in when they wanted to be up and about, so I now know my bedtime was definitely too late in those days…
Yes I too feel it would have been so good to understand the cycle of exhaustion earlier and to have really embraced the sacredness of that time with me and the healing it offered the whole family as a result of my dedication to it. If I knew then what I know now…oh the many years of working on replenishing my stores! Sleep deprivation was simply my normal and coping with exhaustion my day to day. I am in deep appreciation of what I know know and have lived in my body to heal the self abuse, simply by brining more attention to this area of my routine. Credit has to go to my first ever retreat with Universal Medicine where I first had the opportunity to truly let myself feel the importance of my bedtime routine.
Like you say Angela, there is a real gift in the blog of being reminded how it was, and encouraged to really enjoy the ‘early to bed, early to rise’ idiom.
I agree Angela, ” this becomes a ….supportive choice ‘.
Yes Angela, the quiet stillness of the morning before the busyness of the day is really exquisite. It’s like nature and especially the birds own this time of day and make the most of it with joyful exuberance, I feel blessed just to witness it.
I agree with you both, the early hours of the morning are super special and very precious to me now; and the early morning sky is always different, no matter how often I have looked at it – one gorgeous canvass after another.
I agree – there is exquisite stillness in the morning, a crisp freshness to the air and deep joy to behold in harmony and rhythm with nature.
This crispness for me Deborah, is in the morning’s precious silence where I feel at-one and very still. It is so beneficial to experience this before the day gets started as it sets you up..the mornings being the foundation to the coming day. ‘Start as we mean to go on’ as the saying goes.
There is so much to appreciate in these early mornings like the sounds of birds, the amazing colour in the sky as the sun rises, the stillness in the air and the clear crisp smell in the air also. It’s a whole body experience of appreciation.
I love the early mornings too. Typically I get up at 4 am and there is an exquisite feeling of stillness and clarity. For me it is a great time to work on expression and it sets me up for the day.
Going to bed early now comes so natural to me too. There is no resistance; I simply know it’s time to go to bed and my body loves it. Committing to bed early has been one of the most beneficial things I have done and I certainly wouldn’t go back to staying up later than 9pm.
It is such a joy isn’t it Angela, and the knock on effects are un-ending, where as the knock on effects of staying up beyond what our body wants is detrimental to our health, especially if you consider what it does over many years/decades and how the body then copes in such a depleted state. I can easily see the connection with anxiety, stress, overwhelm, depression, and the need for stimulation, sugar, drama, and all because the body doesn’t get time to rest and regenerate.
Yes Laura I love going to bed early and taking a lovely hot tea to bed and massaging cream into my hands. Its a lovely way to wind down and just be with me.
I’ve got to give this massaging my hands thing a go in the evenings… not necessarily what I would naturally think of, but sounds like a lovely way to wind down and relax before … zzzz.
and so too is putting cream on our feet at night, before bed – I Love It.
Yep, my bed time routine includes a foot massage with coconut oil. My feet love it.
I love your comment Simon, a big smile came out so I wanted to reply. It’s funny I have the same ritual every night; it is absolutely how I go off to sleep. It’s not something I’ve ever shared with anyone, but have very much enjoyed the common sharing in this blog. You have now opened up a new dimension with this – why wouldn’t a man appreciate the same loving nurturing care and consideration for their hands as they prepare for sleep. Awesome, thank you for bringing equality to the sharing and enjoy discovering the cream you really like, this is half the fun.
One of the last things I do at night before bed is to thoroughly wash my hands, dry them and massage cream into them. This is something I saw my mother do every night also when I was growing up. It is a lovely way to end the day and takes care of our very hard working hands.
I am now thinking how my mother has always done this hand washing and creaming ritual too Robyn and when I feel her doing this it is very lovely. It is a moment of connecting with, nurturing and honouring ourselves before sleep and it really makes a difference.
This feels amazing to nurture our hands and connect with ourselves in this way and for this to be a part of our natural rhythm before sleep. Thank you ladies for sharing.
Yes, it is a lovely and nurturing thing to do last thing at night, massage cream into our hands as a way of appreciating everything they have done for us throughout the day. I also love to massage rose oil just under my collar bones as this feels beautiful too and sends me to sleep with the aroma of roses.
That’s beautiful Josephine, inspired to try this out myself as I just love scent as I go off to sleep, it’s one of my rituals too except I spray pillow mist and breath in the scent whilst a lit incense burns away…
that feels lovely Josephine I may add that to my ritual 🙂 I have found massaging my feet or creaming my body before bed is the last step of returning back inwards so I can lay down and go to sleep with me, connect in and with my body.
It is very beautiful to read the women’s nurturing preparations before sleep. It has reminded me to get back into massaging my hands – thank you.
Yes, going to bed early has transformed my life for the better. I get so much more done and have so much more fun doing it, it is hard to believe.
Such a gorgeous time to be with myself, and wind down for a soulful sleep.
Mmm… Sometimes we underestimate how profound our sleep is, and we can just treat it as ‘something we do’ at the end of our day, rather than a sacred time of connection with ourselves.
That’s exactly it Kylie Connors, regarding sleep as something other than ‘just function’, but in fact a sacred time of connection.. because we hold ourselves as this too (sacred). If we are dealing with sleep as pure function, then is this how we are holding ourselves, living and working too?! – functional and therefore downgrading sleep to the very same basic-ness instead of the greatness that this time offers.
More and more I am feeling in my body the relationship sleep has to my whole day. It is not just an outlet to ‘recover’ from being tired that day, but rather a way to actually continue a pattern of deep rest. If I chose to get caught up or stressed that day, my sleep is not as full and I am tired the next day, If I express that day, don’t overthink things, stay with me in what I do; then my sleep feels like a confirmation of how I have been living – I naturally am pulled to sleep earlier and I wake up feeling revitalised. Sleep is such an important part of our patterns but there is much to explore on how we use it – do we use it to recover and fix being tired, or do we use it to confirm how we are living and rejuvenate our bodies?
I had not considered it like this Zofia or Kylie. I knew sleep was an amazing opportunity to reconnect, I would even say I have a dedication to my preparation to when I go to sleep but reading yours and other comments I am so inspired to develop this and include my hands and feet as an honouring of the work they have done. To really prepare my body for the profound sacred connection and healing I am about to get in my sleep.
Yes going to bed early to just have time with yourself before sleep is an absolutely gorgeous and honour feeling.
I like this. Whilst I got to bed early, I’m not so great at winding down before I go to bed. I often work until bedtime and have showered previously. Tonight I might try a cup of tea and a hand massage.
That sounds lovely Nikki – I always have a cup of tea before bedtime and I find it really settles me and is deeply stilling. Might add the hand massage too now that you mention it…
Dear Laura,
Thank you for sharing your experience of going to bed early and how in so doing it is supporting you through your day. The care that my body is now calling for is becoming deeper and more refined. I don’t always listen yet, but as you say, I feel the effects, either tired or heavy when I don’t. By you sharing here it has highlighted for me a couple of points, how and what I eat, and reconnecting to the changes in how my body feels from this. Supporting me to commit to the refining my body is calling for. Thank you.
These are words that I can definitely relate to Leigh; “The care that my body is now calling for is becoming deeper and more refined.” It is as if, the more care we give it the more we realise there is to give, and the more we listen to it the more there is to hear.
I also love this Ingrid: “The care that my body is now calling for is becoming deeper and more refined.” It really speaks to me as I am finding the same, and I also find that when my body speaks to me I tend to speak back to it too, confirming what I have heard with the appropriate action – most of the time…
Yes agreed, it is about constantly refining our rhythms. There is never an end point and I can’t help feeling that when I look for the end point, sometimes desperately, I am looking to tick a box on myself, to move on. What I have found is that way of ‘moving on’ when applied to my rhythm squashes real magic happening.
Yes, the more we refine our rhythms, the more loudly our body speaks when we make a choice contrary to that.
Totally Kate Chorley, i have found this too.. and it’s repecting, appreicating and honouring this that is evolves us.
Leigh reading you comment has invited me to consider deeper something I’ve been aware of for a while. That is I sleep better when I eat a considerable period of time before bed. The old belief and habit about dinner being the main meal of the day is out dated for my body. But letting go of the concept in my head is another story, literally!
“My body is always telling me what it likes and what it doesn’t. I am learning to listen and honour this and take more care of myself. Winding down from my day and going to bed early has certainly been a big part of the way I now self-care.”- I totally agree with you Laura- I too am learning to listen to my body more and going to bed early definitely makes a big difference to how I wake up in the morning- I feel so much more refreshed and reenergised.
Our bodies do know what is best for us if we just listen.
This is a great sharing Loretta, and as I am also appreciating how lovely it is to have this rhythm and how honouring it is for the body. I am also realising that there is always more that the body naturally wants in order to feel more amazing, such as the choice in food and exercise and the way in which we do these things, as you say if we just listen.
Hmm agree Amina Tumi, the key is in the listening which often in our busy and noisy lives we conveniently do not hear, or want to hear (!). When we make the choice and learn to slow down, we see and feel (so) much more, that we move with and honour the body as opposed to move against and dishonour it. This surrendering is the beauty of the amazingness that you share.
absolutely Zofia, it is a huge game changer when we change form imposing our wants and needs onto our body and listen and honour to what our body is teling us.
Liked this comment Loretta, learning to listen to my body again, It seemed for quite sometime I thought or should I say I wanted my body to be speaking another language so I didn’t have to listen but no it defiantly is loud and clear these days
I liked this line too Loretta, and as with you – going to bed early definitely makes a big difference!
Thanks for high-lighting this Loretta, it is key that the going to bed early (or what ever times suits you) comes from listening to when the body is ready and what supports it, as it could easily become a rule, or a ‘should do’ thing that comes from the head, rather than a loving thing to do for yourself.
“When I progressed into my later teens and life became about going out in the evenings and drinking, clubbing and taking drugs, I really suffered.”
Isn’t it amazing how we let what’s true for us be overridden by the fear of apparently missing out or of wanting to fit in or to be apparently validated in some way … we’ve all done it and we all know it doesn’t work – it just makes us feel awful, not only physically but also emotionally and psychologically because in truth we know what we are actually doing to ourselves. We are so blessed that Serge Benhayon calls this out, not by thunderous disapproval but by example and simple presentation in workshops.
This is very true, Marion, when we go to bed just as some others are starting their evening’s social life, and get up just as they are going to bed – I know which life I prefer. Late nights leave me feeling groggy and dis-organised, but I somehow forget, just as we forget that we promised we’d never drink again, and the behaviour continues. The more we feel the consequences of our choice, the easier it becomes to choose more healthy options, but if we are too numb to feel anything, that makes the change harder.
Marian you raise some brilliant points here about what we will do to fit in. This is something that we can fall blindly into. It seems crazy when we are intelligent species that we would disregard our bodies in anyway, but it is because the missing ingredient of self-Love is absent. The more self-loving choices and honesty that we bring, the more the balance tips and self-Love becomes the more predominant way, rather than disregard. Something I am certainly still learning.
True Shevon. Self love is the ingredient that shapes all of our choices… And without it, I had no choice, but only my unconscious choice to be unloving.
Wouldn’t it be amazing and so supportive for teenagers to have the understanding of the benefits of sleeping early and rising early. And how not listening to our body has a roll- on affect in other areas of our lives. This would have supported me greatly to have this knowing around my late teens and early twenties.
Absolutely Johanna, ‘Wouldn’t it be amazing and so supportive for teenagers to have the understanding of the benefits of sleeping early and rising early.’ This is something that is not taught or discussed at all and yet would be such an incredible support,currently going to bed late as a teenager, staying up partying and drinking is the ‘normal’ way and so this is what teenagers end up doing because they do not what to be seen as boring and so if the benefits were talked about with teenagers this may confirm what they feel in their bodies and it thus offers support to choose another way.
This would be amazing for teenagers to have this understanding Johanna, what a great school project to give pupils that would be. This could be a great project for much younger children too, why wait until they are teenagers for them to come to the understanding of how vital it is to honour our body in every way.
Yes Johannao8.smith, it would be great to have this understanding of the benefits going to bed early makes in our lives presented to us at an early age but especially in our teenage years. This would have supported me too, just to have the confirmation because I remember feeling very confused because although I felt dreadful after one late night, it seemed that going out partying and having late nights was the thing to do.
This is a great point Joanna, because although I was having late nights partying, I’m sure there are many young people having late nights studying, and feeling just as terrible, in fact possibly even more so, because of the stress and pressure on them.
To get an early night is such a simple thing but recognising the affects of not doing so and the continued affect of not doing so, is very important.
I agree with you Marian, as I remember starting work and all of a sudden it’s as though my personality changed and I saw myself as boring and started going to night clubs and pubs during the week and barely managing to make it to work the next day, and in those days I worked in the Civil Service which was very proper and respectful (had an image to up hold) – so for me it was like living two lives. Respectful and straight laced during the day and staying up late partying at night and for me this totally went against everything I knew to be true, but I was drawn to the excitement and wanted to fit in with friends.
Yes Julie Matson, it’s fed to us all, if we allow it. And we can be easy pray when we want to fit in and ‘be normal’. As a result bad sleep and exhaustion are ‘very normal’ for a majority of people these days. Do we really want to be a part in this ‘normal’, or do we want to choose to start to listen to and honour our bodies? I know what I rather do now.
Yes Marian I felt the same when i read this section – the fear of missing out becomes greater than listening to our bodies and what we know we need for ourselves.
I am more than happy to not fit in any more. As I have gotten older I really don’t think my body could do it even if I wanted to. Either it is speaking more loudly to me about going to bed early or I am much better at honouring what is true for it. Either way late nights and all nights are no longer an option and they are not even missed.
I absolutely agree with what you share here Sally, late nights are no longer an option and definitely not missed, more like I cherish the early nights as Laura described in her blog.
Yes, I cherish early nights as well, I love my bedtime whether it be 7pm, 8pm or 9pm. When I feel to go to bed of an evening I do and pulling back the sheets and sliding into bed has to be one of my favourite things.
Yes Marian, I am forever grateful to Serge Benhayon for exposing how we are living and how it affects us, in all its simplicity and so easily to understand. The changes have been amazing in my life, and I’m sure have been a lifesaver.
The presentations and teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have also in my life made a huge impact as to how I conduct myself with myself and others, and how I live now in my body and my surroundings. And my rhythm and routine at bedtime is an all important part of that too.
Yes Marian, it is amazing what we do to override the body. I really suffered too; one late night partying and it took me days to recover. I remember that I often wondered how people could go out partying two nights on the run, I simply couldn’t do it. It feels so good to have left those days behind and go to bed at a time that is true to me.
Yes I am with you on this Caroline, I now love the fact I am in bed usually by 9 on a weekend night all warm and tucked up!
It was over 10 years that I did this to myself to different degrees.
Some people do this for their entire lives, living in a consistent way that does not give the body time to rest and recover and with knock on effects of feeding it with stimulation, whether that be emotional, from sugar, TV, alcohol, drugs etc… Truly consider the effects of not going to bed when we actually first feel tired, and you can begin to see the impact on our health and wellbeing.
We all know and knew how important sleep is for babies, yet somewhere along the line we make sleep less important in favour of life – stimulation, busyness, distraction etc. The rhythm of sleep needs to be an experimentation for everyone, to live what you have discovered and feel the difference.
Interesting point that you have raised Suzanne because in my experience there are so many babies with ‘sleep issues’ nowadays. There are many places that are now solely offering sleep training and support for babies. Is this an indication that we have lost the connection to our own rhythm of sleep and therefore cannot support our children with it?
Yes Robyn I agree with you. I work with Mothers and babies and sleep deprivation for both parties is a real problem. What I have noticed is the mothers of today are busy, anxious, have high expectations and so their rhythm throughout the day is completely out of wack and which the babies are very sensitive too. So at the end of the day you have a baby that is over stimulated waking up numerous times over night. The interesting thing is that if a mother is calm and so in her natural rhythm she has a calm baby and both sleep beautifully.
That’s very interesting feedback from both ladies who know something of babies and mothers – babies with ‘sleep issues’ are more often than not the babies of mothers who do too much. Makes sense given the two are closely bonded. Healthy mother, healthy child…
All these comments are really interesting about observing a correlation between a mother’s relationship with herself and her sleep rhythms and her babies. I don’t feel it’s a pattern that is confined just to babies – I know I am introducing a loving rhythm that is different to that of my family’s and it’s a long time since I was a baby!
What an amazing revelation for mothers to hear Anne. The anxious running around and pressures of the expectations on the mother not only affects her own wellbeing and sleep, but that of her baby. We have been accustomed with the belief that it is just luck whether our baby is restless or not. And this reflection can be a great empowering moment.
Yes it can be very empowering Golnaz, yet mothers need help to not beat themselves up with this being another thing that makes them a bad mother! From personal experience, and I cannot speak for all but I am sure my experience is that of many others, I overdid the day in order to be an amazing mum, to do everything for my kids, home, husband, friends family. What was missing was the priority of me and that is what mothers need support with. To understand all of the ideals and beliefs around mothering so that the choice to place ourselves at the top of the list is natural and is the most valuable gift to all others. I have noticed that mothers will do anything to support their children, and this is often where the first conversation and the most honesty can come in…if we say ‘let’s make this about you’ they won’t come to the table/workshop/talk. We are just too conditioned as a society to think this is selfish.
It’s true the energy we carry affects those around us. I know that when I am steady and calm, someone I work with is also steady and calm. My steadiness is supported by going to bed as early as I can and because of the nature of my work is usually 10.30 latest.
What you share here Anne makes so much sense and has been my experience over the years of how the energy the mum is in has a strong impact on her baby, ‘The interesting thing is that if a mother is calm and so in her natural rhythm she has a calm baby and both sleep beautifully.’
It makes so much sense what you experience with mothers and babies Anne, mothers today in western society have so many roles to play, multi tasking, often working and running at high levels of stress, and are even referred to as “super mums”, its not surprising their babies would feel the stress and have issues with sleep.
5. That is interesting Anne. In general my babies were not all night sleepers, especially the first child, and I was very nervous, anxious and increasingly overtired. The baby’s behaviour reflected my own, only I saw it the other way round, ie that I was exhausted because she didn’t settle easily. This same daughter is a new mum and she has a very settled baby. She says that when she is deeply connected to herself the baby sleeps much deeper.
That’s very interesting Anne Hart. As …”everything is energy and everything is because of energy”… (Serge Benhayon) – this really makes sense to me. Babies are little bundles of extraordinary energy, and they feel everything, so it seems natural that they would align to their mothers state of being, I don’t know why we haven’t truly considered this before!
Anne your comment makes so much sense to me regarding mother and babies. It is amazing that I have never twigged to this before, but there you go, I have opened to this now. Thank you.
Anne that makes so much sense. Mums and Dads could do with hearing about these simple and practical truths. I once saw a woman who was running late for her next appointment and her baby was restless, crying and clearly disturbed because her Mother was running late. When I realised that the baby was sensing that the Mother was late, and therefore out of her natural rhythm, it was a real eye opener to see how much we really do affect each other.
This makes perfect sense Anne. I wish I had someone share this wisdom with me when I was a new mum. Even now, adhering to my natural rhythm banishes anxiety from my day and has a wonderful knock on effect on the people I come into contact with. If parents model this, children will naturally be impulsed to find their rhythm and live in a way, guided by their parents, that harmoniously fits in with family life. We forget the huge influence and impact we have on others and children will copy what we do much more than follow what we say.
This would certainly save a lot of money for our health services; if this common sense was shared for public benefit and those that live supportive sleep rhythms shared what they know and live with others who are in need, the numbers with this condition could easily decline.
Anne I was one of those mother’s who suffered from sleep deprivation after my first child was born. I was highly anxious and so was she. She now is a mother and her child is joyful and relaxed and sleeps well – a reflection of how the mother lives. She has learned that when her rhythmn is disturbed the baby’s behaviour reflects this, and makes adjustments. I’m in awe how simple it can be.
That is disturbing to hear Robyn. When baby born in an out-of-rhythym household it is only natural that it will be hard for them to establish their own.
I would definietly say this is due to an indication that we have lost the connection to our own rhythm of sleep, nurturing, self-love and self-care.
Absolutely Robyn, it makes perfect sense that we would impact our babies sleep pattern dependent on our own sleep pattern. So shows how powerful our own rhythms are and why we would want to have a strong rhythm set in place for when our baby arrives.
This is really interesting Robyn, I have never heard of ‘sleep training’ for babies. The world reflects everything back to us, so yes you could be right, maybe this is reflecting back our lack of connection to our own rhythm of sleep, what a responsibility it becomes then, to teach our children, by example to not repeat the same patterns that are not in line with the natural rhythm of their body.
This is indeed very interesting what you say Robyn, as I know how many adults who just accept having very limited or a lack of quality sleep, is it possible that the babies mirror that back to the adults in their lives? If the parents are restless and cannot settle within themselves to then surrender to a deep sleep, are constantly in motion on the inside (with racing thoughts, or full of sugar or coffee for example, which keep the body racy) and then take that into their sleep-time, their bodies and it’s organs keep running fast on the inside, even when lying down and not moving. This doesn’t allow for any true stillness or any true refreshing rest-full sleep. I feel that the baby can feel that raciness and may take that on, as I feel this would be quite unsettling for the baby when their parents feel so unsettled.
I agree Robyn and experienced it myself. After the birth of my third child I had trouble finding back my rhythm. It then became a struggle with my daughter also waking up every two or three hours. But when I just started to go to bed around 9 pm again and out of bed early consistently she began to sleep more hours too. Now she wakes up once in the night and then again in the early morning and sometimes she sleeps all the way through till the early morning.
We’ve not just lost our rhythm, which indeed has an effect on our children, but also the quality we offer our children in the home is often not the environment that helps the child feel safe.
We drink alcohol and even use drugs and are suprised our child cannot sleep. We give them food which contains sugar which makes them hyper. It is important that we start to get honest about these effects on ourselves and our children.
Yes Suzanne, this is something I have noticed and questioned too of late. Why honour sleep so much for children and so much less so for us as teenagers and adults.
Exactly – I remember it too how important it was for my children to be in bed early and then I would stay up late for the ‘me’ time… and if they woke up early in the morning I would be not ready to get up, feeling tired and not rejuvenated. Their rhythm was so nourishing for them. I am glad that through the presentations of Serge Benhayon and the Way of the Livingness I have fond back to this very beautiful and stilling rhythm of earl y to bed and early up.
It makes sense that the entire family should go to bed at the same time, and get up at the same time doesn’t it Karina. But I know what you mean about having ‘me’ time when they have gone to bed! Maybe if we were in our true rhythm we would nurture ourselves to the extent that we allowed ourselves ‘me’ time during the day so we would then be content with going to bed early and getting up early, and once we were in our true rhythm we would then have MORE time for ourselves AND our children.
Great point Michelle. A simple thing like honouring our sleep rhythm as adults would reduce our caffeine, sugar and television intake I’m sure.
Why the difference when we all need to rejuvenate and reboot in order to support ourselves for the end day.
That is such a good point Suzanne – it doesn’t make any sense at all that we make sleep less important when we grow up. If anything, we should value it more.
An interesting point Suzanne. We do honour children’s sleep yet somehow tend to let ours go as we grow up.
For me I can completely feel the benefits of going to bed early. I have more quality in the way I am and also I seem to be able to do more in my day by honouring my body’s rhythm.
This is so true Suzanne . A babies rhythm is based around sleeping and eating – it makes no sense why we would let go of the dedication to sleep just because of age or the fact that our rhythm changes.
Yes and a baby directly responds to what its feeling from its body, there is a complete honouring of what is felt and therefore a very open dialog
Absolutely – no head kicking in to override what is felt, known and needed.
I agree Suzanne, its such a good experiment to do with yourself, just to see if it makes a difference – for what have you got to lose, with so much to gain!
Absolutely. I tend to do little experiments with how things feel for me and my body- to see what is supportive and what is not. Our body holds all the science we will ever need. It is just up to us to connect with it or not.
‘Our body holds all the science we will ever need.’ Perfect. Yes, we can be our own researcher, lab and experiment, sharing our results for all to see, not hidden in journals accessed by a privileged few.
Yes Johanna08.smith, our body lets us know if we are open to listening; when I used to stay up late, trying to watch that movie, I would fall asleep on the lazy chair around 9pm, then wake much later, having missed the movie, and having missed out on quality sleep, connected within myself. Instead my body had just shut down, trying to tell me that my sleep at that time would have been more important than any movie will ever be.
Making little daily adjustments to see what feels right or not is a great science for living with love.
Very good point Suzanne. We can be almost obsessed with babies and their sleep yet show very little regard for our own. At what point in life do we make that change and stop honouring the importance of sleep? It is actually crazy when it impacts our day so heavily to not been hugely concerned with our sleep patterns.
Quite young, I think. Children will often pester their parents to let them stay up past their bedtimes, and I know I did on occasion. There’s definitely an excitement and a glamour there; a wanting to push the boundaries into a space they perceive as more exotic and adult, as if something far more interesting takes place after their usual bedtime. Yes, the spirit loves excitement! All the more reason to model a sober approach to the end of the day – it might get your kids into bed at an appropriate time.
Great point Victoria. Encouraging children to go to bed earlier is more powerful in our actions not just in our words.
Yes I agree nb. My children are in bed and sleeping by 8pm but my feeling is this is too late for them. Talking with them in that sleep is very important for us if we want to function at our best and looking at our approach to getting ourselves into bed is either supporting or not is a start but to actually put this into practice is what makes all the difference.
…and it’s really interesting that we have developed an ‘adult lifestyle’ that revolves around late nights, restaurants and clubs etc… Wouldn’t it be a different story if all our socialising was done in the early mornings- that would certainly show a different side of everyone!
I agree very much Kylie, it would actually be amazing to feel that. For sure that the quality of energy during the night would expand and so during the day. From this vitality I guess we enjoy ourselves and life much more and from this foundation we then connect and spend time with others. Like you shared Kylie : that would show a different side of everyone!
Yes Kylie it would be a breath of fresh air to be socialising in the morning. When we ourselves live from this quality of rhythm then that sets a foundation for not only our day but can also inspire another. A win, win on all fronts.
This would be great, however I know lots of my family and friends who not make it to many social events initially as their body clocks are wired to late nights and sleeping in.
I was in Vietnam a few years ago and went for some early morning walks on the beach, to my surprise I found that all the locals were up and going for a dip in the sea as the sun was rising and whilst it was cool and calm. They would do exercises together whilst chatting and the men even gave their skin an exfoliating treatment in the sand. Then they all left to begin their working day -way before any sign of the tourists. turning up. The early mornings really are a precious time of day, where ever you are in the world.
I’ve experienced this in other places too, where the morning is a sacred time to do one’s exercises, write, and basically take care of all the things we need to take care of, before the day starts.
That would suit me down to the ground, especially if there was no alcohol involved. I love going to bed now the minute I feel tired and sometimes that has been as early as 7 o’clock and when I tell people that they look at me as if I am mad but if I have been up since 2.30am it is like I am going to bed at ten or eleven anyway if you get my drift.
What you have said Nikki has reminded me that I thought me time was staying up late’. I even remember the treat and relief of having a Sherry at 6 pm after bathing my very active son getting him ready for bed.
It wasn’t until I heard a presentation by Serge Benhayon a few years ago that I truly understood the value of going to bed early! Laura’s article confirms the wisdom and my body agrees. No longer do I need alcohol to prop up an exhausted body. Early to bed and early to rise my Mother used to say – wise words!
I know it’s crazy! Our parents work so hard to establish a rhythm for us and the first thing we do when we get out of home is disregard our sleep altogether! I am endlessly grateful that one of the things Natalie Benhayon established early on was rhythm rhythm rhythm! And that started with sleep. It turned my whole life around.
Very true Suzanne. And a baby is very honest about when it is tired…yet we learn to over-ride this in favour of distraction and stimulation. It’s no wonder that so many are addicted to sugar and coffee…everyone is exhausted!
I like what you share Suzanne, being our own science experiment and exploring what works, without following any ‘should do’s’. Life certainly becomes more simplistic and natural when we place equal importance on our own sleep. Imagine how a baby would feel if it was going to bed late and at different times each day, we are no different and my life has changed remarkably from the days when I would miss a night’s sleep or stay up late. This is a brilliant blog.
Well said Suzanne… there’s almost a stigma attached with going to bed early as an adult. There is an idea that there are ‘all these things to do’ before going to bed… but in my experience this rarely involves much more than watching TV – and it’s staying up for the sake of staying up!
I agree Brooke, from my experience the staying up late at night mostly involved socialising or later in life sitting up watching mindless television. Now that I have established a sleep rhythm that works for me it seems ridiculous that I ever thought my body would function with the spasmodic sleep I allowed myself!
I agree Brooke, that is my experience too. And then in the morning the question……..what did I actually watch on TV last night?? How relevant was it to me and my life? Absolutely not relevant at all, but it robbed me of that quality of sleep that then leads to the next day not living in my fullness; a vicious, very depleting cycle has begun.
Yes Brooke, I used to stay up simply because it was the ‘adult thing’ to do or simply for not being called unsociable, despite my body crying for sleep. Nowadays I give myself permission to go to bed when I feel tired.
Yes, that sounds very familiar Brooke, people are staying up and not doing much of any value because they are knackered… then waking up knackered… and accepting that as a normal way of life to sleep for 7 hours and yet still be tired?
It is interesting what you say Suzanne, about experimenting for ourselves. I have never heard anyone say that they felt great after going to bed late, and no matter how much they try to ‘catch up’ they still feel tired. However, I have heard people say that when they go to bed early and get up early they DO feel great, and it is surprising how little sleep they need. Maybe we don’t want to go to bed early because we feel there was something missing from the day and we stay up to see if we can fill the emptiness that we are feeling inside, which leaves us feeling incomplete. I love to go to bed early, it just feels so natural to me, and I feel more alive and vital than ever, and I am beginning to build a rhythm which is super important to support me with my sleep patterns.
Suzanne great point you make, it’s crazy how we make sleep less important in life and fill it with distraction, busyness and stimulation. I know for many years I was so exhausted as I would have less sleep to fit everything in, to keep up with social life at the expense of my body. Now I come first and I honour my sleep, I love going to bed early and waking up refreshed.
Yes what a great point Suzanne, “we make sleep less important in favour of life”, we forget that sleep is the basis upon which we begin our day. Our sleep determines our day – to a certain extent – so if our sleep rhythms are so out of whack, what are our days like? I don’t feel we are living our full potential here as a humanity – in what can be lived from a good night’s sleep on a daily basis. Because I definitely know the difference between waking up feeling re-energised and ready to go, and what sort of day this leads to, vs, dreading waking up, feeling depleted and a ‘struggle’ to get up, and what a mess this day can be.
Absolutely well said Suzanne, we seem to know these things, yet we do not honor this , not even the tinniest bit. What feels important is the adventure we all can have with sleeping times, so that whatever we choose actually supports us not numb us, or make us feel tired. I love how this gives us all an opportunity to build a more loving rhythm in our lives.