I was pondering about why children and teenagers love to just ‘hang out’, ‘chill out’ and just generally get together with no particular purpose per se. It occurred to me that these were just modern day expressions of what is actually quite natural for us all…
- To just simply ‘BE’
- No agenda
- No ‘to-do’ lists
- Simply BEING and connecting with others
Children often amaze and inspire me because when they are just being themselves they connect to people with such openness, ease, presence and playfulness. The innocence in their eyes and their body just melts any hardness that comes their way.
Children are so inspiring and we have much to learn from them, for when they are just left to simply be themselves, the sparkle in their eyes is bright, the expression is full and they know in their hearts what true love is and what it is not.
So what happens to us when we get older? Where does that sparkle go? Do we forget how to just ‘hang out’ and ‘be’ with each other? We all were once a child with that sweet innocence and honest connection with ourselves.
As adults, how often do we truly connect to this? Yes, we catch up with friends and spend time with family, but are we truly allowing ourselves to ‘BE’ and connect with each other – heart to heart? Are our accumulated protections, hurts and mistrusts stopping us from truly meeting and connecting with each other? Have achievements, goals, and recognition become more important than true connection – leading us to always be ‘doing’ something?
These are the questions I have been pondering on lately as I appreciate and observe the sweet innocence of a child – an innocence that is naturally within us all, should we choose to re-connect to it.
The innocence and openness I re-connected to within myself recently felt so heavenly and natural; in the past this had felt very raw and ‘naked’ to me, which is why I would rarely allow myself to go there as an adult. But there was nothing ‘weak’ about being in my innocence, quite the opposite. The more I allowed myself to stay open to this, the more I could feel the power of my expression that came from this connection of deep presence and stillness.
I then took myself for a walk with my openness and innocence. My chest and heart felt so different – I felt so open to people and the world and my chest and heart felt like it was 1 metre in front of me. This was definitely new to me!
I realised that what I was experiencing was what it would feel like to let people in, to let the world in, to not put up a guard to protect, to allow myself to be fully seen in my sweet natural innocence.
Gosh the world felt so different!
All I had to do was surrender and ‘JUST BE ME’.
In our innocence we are so open and precious and truly divine.
Forever inspired by Serge Benhayon who inspires me to JUST BE ME.
By Marika Cominos, Melbourne
Further Reading:
Serge Benhayon: The Natural Philosopher
Inspired by Universal Medicine… Just Being Me
The Natural Love Of A Child
890 Comments
Connecting our deep innocence is a gorgeous experience, it is the child in us that comes out and enjoys everything that comes on our path, true joy!
Children love their bodies, they love inhabiting them, discovering what they can do, they are so open and inquisitive they love feeling, experiencing and exploring life through their senses. They allow their joy and wonder, its natural expression unhampered by the mind. Ironically we end up suppressing the very qualities we now envy. Yes we have much to relearn from children.
Yes, how can naturally being ourselves be so challenging? When it is just being us. Letting go of the protections and need for recognition is truly liberating. When I started to share what I naturally wanted to, which was I love love, a feeling of love and equality I had experienced as a truth as a child, my whole world started to open up and change. And all it was was giving myself permission to naturally be me. It can actually be so very easy.
There are many reasons why we close down and let the sparkle die out or go very dim. It seems life as we know it at the moment is set up in a way to make this happen and keep us away from the light that we are. The pressures that are put on our children from a young age with constant testing at school will probably bring the age of innocence to a close much earlier if we don’t practice and pass on what you have written here Marika.
It is certainly time for change Kev, for eons the same cycle keeps repeating itself and now we have a society that has lost itself. The age of innocence needs to last forever not just something we have for the first 4 years of our lives. I am not saying we don’t need to grow up but I am saying there is an honesty in a child that every adult could learn from.
I love your writing Marika. Thank you for not holding back and expressing these pearls of wisdom so freely.
I’m with you Lucy Duffy, thank-you Marika for not holding back your gorgeous expression, that only you can bring in the most delightful way that you naturally do.
I loved my own company as a child, as I grew and into my adolescence I really struggled to be on my own I remember harassing friends to go out or come over and they would be wanting to have down time or a rest I would almost go into a panic. I learnt to deal with this feeling by getting busy with jobs or chores, I never questioned why I didn’t enjoy my own company anymore. This meant there was always an underlying level of anxiety that i lived with that affected all of my behaviours and choices.
In my case as well Nicole – anxiety played a big role in my life and everything was affected by that. Only when I started to address my lack of self-worth the relationship to myself got better and better.
It’s such a joy watching children in their naturalness and innocence, just being themselves, not needing to prove anything or do anything for recognition. A great lesson for all of us-in our stillness to embrace the innocence that is within us all when engaged with others.
Yes, the irony of hanging onto our masks and not letting the world in, and how exhausting that is on our bodies to maintain, which makes sense really, as it would be like swimming against the current all of the time. Better to let go and flow with our natural rhythms of love and truth.
We all were once a child with that sweet innocence and honest connection with ourselves, and we all know how it feels when we love what we do or when a day just feels great because we are so sweet and playful. This is what I always refer to when I run a cooking work shop, that there is this innocent child within ourself that wants to just have fun and trying and playing different options without any focus of outcome, any fear of not being good enough, but the main thing is the connection to this inner quality – this is all what is needed when we are enjoying ourselves.
“In our innocence we are so open and precious and truly divine.” I feel this sentence sums it up beautifully, Thank you Marika for the simplicity and power of your expression.
As a man the more I allow myself to surrender to the innocence I once knew so well as a kid the more it exposes how ingrained certain behaviours are in my life such as the doing and planning ahead, but it is in this surrendering that I have the opportunity to truly feel how gentle I am and the stillness within me.
“All I had to do was surrender and ‘JUST BE ME’.” – very clear instruction Marika and one to be practised daily now. And when applied oh boy how awesome it feels, as it takes no effort at all.
The joy of simply being me is so beautiful to feel and know and living this with consistency and presence is the key to life .I love this blog and all that is shared by everyone and the journey it involves in opening up our hearts and letting people truly in is well worth it for not only ourselves but for everyone and the whole world benefits and lights up.
It’s so important to remember this innocent and open quality before we attempt to ‘do’ anything. If we get caught up in the ‘doing’ for the sake of ‘doing’ without remembering how to simply ‘be’ we lose that ability to simply ‘hang out’ with ourselves and as a result the quality of what we are doing suffers. As teenagers would say ‘we need to chill out’!
Yes so true Rebecca, we need to chill out sometimes and hanging out with ourselves, this always helps me to reconnect to so much joy from inside.
I love the way you have expressed that Matilda, “as I shed the layers of social costumery I have accumulated in adulthood.” Yes to stripping back to the underlayer of our true self.
Allowing ourselves to be, wow where did we loose ourselves. Children are our great reflections to show us how simple it is. to just be and let go of all that control and connect to others without any agenda or do list. Children just keep playing in this innocent way, so beautiful to stop and feel.
Beautiful reflection Amita thank you.
Let’s play again, together in our innocent way. I love playing and I still can feel that this quality is very strong in me, wanting to be expressed and lived again. I know many people who would love to play, too but it seems they have lost the joy within. Life could be very simple and joyful if we could allow this innocent quality into our life again.
Marika, it sounds so simple to just hang out and be ourselves, yet we fight so hard against it we get exhausted, rather than just letting go and being who we are.
The freedom that comes from just being ourselves is extraordinary. I love how when you went for a walk, feeling the openness and innocence of who you truly are – how expanded you felt. These moments are such great markers to reflect on if ever we fall back into the held back and contracted way we can be when not allowing this freedom to just be ourselves.
That feels great in my body reading it – allowing the freedom of being ourselves.
Thank you, Marika. I am more and more welcoming of that feeling of naked-ness as I shed the layers of social costumery I have accumulated in adulthood and return to an openness with life that is at first unfamiliar, as each layer peels away, and then so clearly and deeply known. It is a home coming, not something new.
I agree Matilda. It feels very much like a home-coming. The hearth is lit with a gentle fire. It’s time to stoke it up and get it roaring.
“Yes, we catch up with friends and spend time with family, but are we truly allowing ourselves to ‘BE’ and connect with each other – heart to heart?”, I totally understand what you mean here Marika – when I see someone who I haven’t for a long time, or even someone I see every day, I often feel like there is a ‘gap’ in the conversation if there is nothing new going on to share or nothing to do with that person such as eat a meal, talk about something in specific.
I know what you mean about the ‘gap’ Jessica. Sometimes its a bit awkward. But here goes, the gap is good because it shows us that we can simply be, and this allows for a natural intimacy if we do go there. In the gap, we need to make it all about acceptance, I accept you as you are and I accept me as I am, then it will be funny just being with a person. That’s what I think anyway.. 😀
Surrender and just Be with the heart and body and feel the quality in the way you feel and live.
Children are always a joy to hang out with.
Marika it feels a simple and yet as the same time fairly complex topic ‘just being me’ because although it sounds super simple to ‘just be me’, most people are rarely or in some cases never ‘just them’. The unadulterated, virgin version of us all is an exquisite combination of shared qualities and yet with our own individual flavour woven throughout. The qualities that we share are love, harmony, stillness and joy all come from the inside and the individual twist that we add also comes from the inside, it feels to me that it nothing to do with personality at all. So it is a fascinating few words to ponder on ‘just being me’.
This blog is one I could read until I die! Its something I have often wondered about as I have grown up, why is it that adults do not have as much fun as children? how are they not feeling so lovely just walking around that that is everything to them? and how can we be so abusive in relationships? The adults preach a lot to the children growing up, but they have a long way to go themselves. Life is far from joy-full and inspirational in their world, it is full of people who “just cope”, “exist” and follow trends.
Harrison, you are so right, adults seem to be so stiff and hard compared to children who love to play and in their playfulness discovering themselves. What a glory to be with them gathered in lightful expression and playing. We should start education back in the sandpit s again, how to bake sand cakes and making towers with stones and dirt. How much fun could it be to discover in playing together how beautiful we can feel once we allow this simplicity and playfulness again.
I know that control is a big factor in my life that prevents me from simply being and connecting with others, I justify the control with purpose when in fact much of the time its an avoidance of simply being with myself & letting people in.
When I first heard about “being” rather than “doing” I had no idea what that meant! I had to rediscover what it was. I used to think that “being” was doing nothing, however it is not like that at all. It is about the quality that I choose to do things in rather than not doing things. This was a revelation to me.
I agree Elizabeth, It took me a long time to get it. I was forever hurtling forward, ‘doing’ stuff, entirely missing the point that it was the quality of how I am in what I do that counts. This is an ever evolving thing for me as there is no end to the depth I can take the quality of my being in all that I do. I just have to choose that.
Well explained, Elizabeth – it’s taken me a while to come to grips with it, in fact I am still finding a desperate ‘gotta get this done before I . . .’ creeps in – thank you for the reminder to ‘be’ whilst ‘doing’
Me too Elizabeth. Doing without the quality of my being feels horrible. There is a part that revels in sabotaging such a simple way of life and it’s that part that I have to keep a very close eye on. It’s a trickster and loves to avoid responsibility.
Exactly Jinya, that trickster is like a little dog that is naughty sometimes and wants to escape and sabotage every time when we do not watch it. This naughty dog sometimes wants much attention and needs pandering. It tries with a huge amount of tricks that it get’s what it wants. I have found out that a firm NO and being strikt but loving is his best training, and I also can see this sweetness underneath the naughtiness. True love, without pandering works very well.
I always love the remembering that we are human beings not doings and that as you say, Elizabeth, it is not about doing nothing but taking my being into everything I do. Keeping a vigilant eye on the saboteur too, Jinya – the part of me that tries to fight the simplicity of this way of life and responsibility.
And for me Elizabeth. I had heard a lot of teachings telling people to just “be”, but there was never any practical way offered to do this, and my whole life had been based on doing. Enter Serge Benhayon and the Way of the Livingness, making everything about us being who we truly are, and the practical ways to make this our daily choice.
I am so glad you have expressed this Elizabeth as this is so important.
Being present is definitely not about ‘doing nothing’ – quite the opposite, but as you say it is the quality of presence that we bring to our daily activities that makes all the difference to my day and how I feel and my connection with people. Its so much more enjoyable living as a ‘Human Being’ rather than a ‘Human Doing’
Elizabeth it too was a revelation to me, I was such a doer, that it took me a long time to understand the difference and start to change from doing to being. It is still work in progress, but it does feel amazing to be in the being and not in the doing, it is more supportive and loving.
Well said Elizabeth, and I can also say for me when I was in the ‘doing’ without ‘being with me’, that what I was doing was done often in a rush without attention or conscious presence, hence mistakes, accidents etc etc occured as a result of this. Learning to bring me to my doing has made a huge difference in my life, and also to just be in the ‘being’ without ‘doing’ was so different to ‘doing nothing’, as I learnt to truly be with me. These days, when there is something that wants to take me away from me – often I can catch it and bring myself lovingly and gently back – it is something that I am keeping an eye on and am still practicing to catch quicker.
There is a lot in what you share Marika, in the allowing ourselves to feel the innocence and openness. I’m going to bring more awareness to allowing myself to feel my innocence and openness and also be aware when I come to a spot where it feels a bit like uncharted territory and I start to think that’s enough. This will be the opening to stay with it and allow a little more openness, very gently and tenderly (just so I don’t scare the pants of myself).
Haha Sandra Williamson, I love your little bit there about just so you dont scare the pants off yourself. It is a bit scary I have to admit, allowing the openness. But, I feel, gently and tenderly win the day.
At this point in time I could reread your sharing every day. I’m still struggling with raciness and my “to do lists”, so your blog is a welcome reminder, how life could be so easy and simple. Thanks for your great blog Marika.
Reading your blog for the second time Marika, i could observe again a lot of resistance wanting to disagree. So there is definitely something for me to look at of my own relationship with innocence and how open i am with other people. Thank you for sharing!
The very concept that being is more important than doing has taken me quite awhile to come to terms with so strongly was the consciousness embedded that I am identified by what I do and valued because of it. Slowly slowly I an letting myself simply be – and in that letting others also be. Thanks to Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and all of my fellow students for the support and inspiration in this path of return from a state of constant motion!
Beautifully expressed, Helen. Part of my un-doing has been letting go of judgement of others and simply feeling how they feel in each moment, as you say, letting others be.
Great point Carmel – letting others be makes life a lot easier as we don’t have to spend any energy on judging, comparing or whatever else we do, instead of letting people be.
When we allow ourselves to just ‘BE’ life is so exquisitely sweet and simple… it’s funny we need to relearn to simply be ourselves.
It is sad how most adults find it so hard to ‘just be me’ when, as you say, Marika ‘we all were once a child with that sweet innocence and honest connection with ourselves’. We seem to get distracted by carving our own way forward and the more individual we become the more we lose sight of the fact that we live with other people. The busier we get, the less time we have to connect and then we start to feel lonely because we are so far away from enjoying being with ourselves that we distract ourselves further to not feel this. Universal Medicine inspires people to get off this merry-go-round and come back to re-connecting with themselves. It’s so simple that it seems too hard when we are so used to trying and doing.
Marika, your experience of surrendering to ‘just being me’ shows people that it is possible wouldn’t it be great if we could all drop our ‘accumulated protections, hurts and mistrusts’ and start ‘truly meeting and connecting with each other’.
Letting our love out and letting people in – to really feel the essence of who were are is immensely expanding and it is no wonder your chest and heart felt like they were a metre in front of you! The beauty and innocence of connecting with people without protection is nourishing and evolving.
I love this Jo: “The beauty and innocence of connecting with people without protection is nourishing and evolving.” Something we all can practice daily and reflect to each other this growing and evolution for all.
Marika love this simplicity and joyful way of being you share and know and it is very inspiring .”In our innocence we are so open and precious and truly divine.”this says it all and is so true thank you I will take this with me today and always .
I have been connecting with the innocence that lives within me recently “…as I appreciate and observe the sweet innocence of a child – an innocence that is naturally within us all, should we choose to re-connect to it.” I find that I experience more joy, playfulness and opens with others when I connect with the innocence that is naturally there. I have observed how children often approach life with beautiful simplicity, not attempting to do it with agendas and time frames, there is this lovely flow to it. There is is an innocence and enjoying life for what is is rather than trying to make it into something.
Reading this blog reminded me of a little toddler I was watching whilst in a shopping mall. she didn’t have any toys but was really enjoying herself with spinning and lifting her top up over her head and looking through the fabric – she was having such a great time, just being herself. At the same time her parents were speaking harshly to each other, but she wasn’t phased, she just carried on playing – it was a joy to see how she was having such a great time all by herself.
Yes Julie, it’s great to appreciate this and unfortunately many adults project their own fear of boredom onto kids and provide them with stimulating toys and games which can dull their ability to play by themselves ‘just enjoying being me’.
“I realised that what I was experiencing was what it would feel like to let people in, to let the world in, to not put up a guard to protect, to allow myself to be fully seen in my sweet natural innocence. Gosh the world felt so different!” Love this Marika, the more we open up to ourselves, the more we can open up to others.
Wonderful expressed Marika. You are so right – we can learn so much from the children – innocence, joy, playfulness. The question I have is – how was it possible, during our childhood, that we lost a number of these qualities? We bought into something, which is not true. But it is never too late, today I can look at my choices and take more responsibility of everything I do.
I agree Alexander. It is never too late. I have seen people in their 80’s reconnecting to their inner innocence and beauty and it is something amazing to behold.
Simply being ourselves is enough. Life does not have to be complicated, stressful or draining. It is us who choose how we want to live, by calibrating how much of our true self we are prepared to show and live.
When I walk in the world and choose to be open I am a little anxious at first. Then something happens and I feel how natural it feels to be openly me and how so not scary it is. The more I am not retreating away at the first sign of anxiety the more I realise just being is so natural whatever the situation.
Marika, that took me on a little journey back to my innocents, The joy, tenderness and openness of one who walks with no hurts, walls or protections. One who expands and shares all the wonders of love. Just beautiful, I enjoyed that journey so much I think I might walk it some more.