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Friendships, Relationships, Self-Relationship 890 Comments on Hanging Out to Simply Be Me

Hanging Out to Simply Be Me

By Marika Cominos · On September 18, 2015

I was pondering about why children and teenagers love to just ‘hang out’, ‘chill out’ and just generally get together with no particular purpose per se. It occurred to me that these were just modern day expressions of what is actually quite natural for us all…

  • To just simply ‘BE’
  • No agenda
  • No ‘to-do’ lists
  • Simply BEING and connecting with others

Children often amaze and inspire me because when they are just being themselves they connect to people with such openness, ease, presence and playfulness. The innocence in their eyes and their body just melts any hardness that comes their way.

Children are so inspiring and we have much to learn from them, for when they are just left to simply be themselves, the sparkle in their eyes is bright, the expression is full and they know in their hearts what true love is and what it is not.

So what happens to us when we get older? Where does that sparkle go? Do we forget how to just ‘hang out’ and ‘be’ with each other? We all were once a child with that sweet innocence and honest connection with ourselves.

As adults, how often do we truly connect to this? Yes, we catch up with friends and spend time with family, but are we truly allowing ourselves to ‘BE’ and connect with each other – heart to heart? Are our accumulated protections, hurts and mistrusts stopping us from truly meeting and connecting with each other? Have achievements, goals, and recognition become more important than true connection – leading us to always be ‘doing’ something?

These are the questions I have been pondering on lately as I appreciate and observe the sweet innocence of a child – an innocence that is naturally within us all, should we choose to re-connect to it.

The innocence and openness I re-connected to within myself recently felt so heavenly and natural; in the past this had felt very raw and ‘naked’ to me, which is why I would rarely allow myself to go there as an adult. But there was nothing ‘weak’ about being in my innocence, quite the opposite. The more I allowed myself to stay open to this, the more I could feel the power of my expression that came from this connection of deep presence and stillness.

I then took myself for a walk with my openness and innocence. My chest and heart felt so different – I felt so open to people and the world and my chest and heart felt like it was 1 metre in front of me. This was definitely new to me!

I realised that what I was experiencing was what it would feel like to let people in, to let the world in, to not put up a guard to protect, to allow myself to be fully seen in my sweet natural innocence.

Gosh the world felt so different!

All I had to do was surrender and ‘JUST BE ME’.

In our innocence we are so open and precious and truly divine.

Forever inspired by Serge Benhayon who inspires me to JUST BE ME.

By Marika Cominos, Melbourne

Further Reading:
Serge Benhayon: The Natural Philosopher
Inspired by Universal Medicine… Just Being Me
The Natural Love Of A Child

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Marika Cominos

Based in cosmopolitan Melbourne with a love for long luxurious baths, butterflies and gas cooking. I ditched my 20year performing arts fame as an acrobatic (but not my gorgeous curly hair) for a more inner approach as a Yoga & Esoteric Therapies Practitioner and all things wellbeing. I have a BBA in Management & Marketing and am now working on another BBA ­ 'Bachelor of Being Awesome!

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890 Comments

  • Jade Jamieson says: February 19, 2016 at 6:32 am

    A beautiful reminder Marika of the true quality and essence we all have within us, and seeing the true freedom that comes when we surrender to letting the world and ourselves see this essence at play.

    Reply
  • Elaine Arthey says: February 7, 2016 at 6:59 pm

    “an innocence that is naturally within us all, should we choose to re-connect to it.” How beautiful this is and how awesome when we choose to live this in connection with others. Thank you for a very sweet article Marika.

    Reply
  • Samantha England says: January 27, 2016 at 5:52 pm

    “Children are so inspiring and we have much to learn from them, for when they are just left to simply be themselves, the sparkle in their eyes is bright, the expression is full and they know in their hearts what true love is and what it is not” So true Marika, having recently worked with a lot of teenagers it is sad to see how this natural expression can be squashed and shut down, no wonder there is so many mental health issues and incidents of depression. If we do not encourage a child in their true expression then we are setting them up to fail.

    Reply
  • Alexander Gensler says: January 21, 2016 at 1:22 am

    Very inspiring what you share – just being me is enough, no to do lists, just spending time with me and other people – awesome. That is my recipe for healing my exhaustion. Sometimes I still get lost in the doing, in my old pattern. But I’m getting better and better, the more I’m listening to my body.

    Reply
  • Roslyn Mahony says: January 16, 2016 at 8:52 am

    There is so much joy that can be brought to us through children. I find my Grandchildren bring me much joy and allow me to be a child again, playing games, and the freedom to be myself perhaps more than at any time since my childhood. They have a lot to offer us and free up our expression of fun and laughter and teaching us to let go the seriousness of living. Thank you for the reminder Marika.

    Reply
    • Jade Jamieson says: February 19, 2016 at 6:35 am

      Beautifully expressed Roslyn and it is this innate joy and innocence that children express freely that shines through when we surrender to the fact that it is naturally within us all too.

      Reply
  • Kathryn Fortuna says: January 5, 2016 at 6:00 am

    Marika I love this part ‘But there was nothing ‘weak’ about being in my innocence, quite the opposite. The more I allowed myself to stay open to this, the more I could feel the power of my expression that came from this connection of deep presence and stillness.’ Our innocence is so powerful and supports us to read situations more clearly without the filters that we tend to place on things when we are loaded with complexity.

    Reply
  • Julie says: December 29, 2015 at 4:18 pm

    As adults we can go into the seriousness of life and become hard, very draining on our bodies and with no love in sight. Better to lighten up, go out and find a child or a dog to play with and come back to our truth.

    Reply
  • Christine Hogan says: December 29, 2015 at 6:41 am

    ‘In our innocence we are so open and precious and truly divine’ – and as you said Marika, the world felt so different. When we hold back not only does it affect us but it also affects others and what is possible. Definitely time to do a little more ‘Hanging out’.

    Reply
  • Sally Cranwell-Child says: December 27, 2015 at 9:12 am

    Marika, I have noticed the vast difference between when I am naturally with myself, how there is an openness that makes me feel very alive, to when I feel my head start to take over, and I am not myself at all. Hanging out to simply be me sounds a great idea.

    Reply
  • nb says: December 19, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    I love re reading this blog as I notice it always comes when I am feeling expectations to be something from myself or from others. A great reminder once again.

    Reply
  • Lieke van Haastrecht says: December 13, 2015 at 2:51 pm

    Yes it is incredible to realise that as a kid I found it easy to simply be and ‘hang out’ with other kids, this is simply very normal for kids to do. Then I hit that point where you are considered adult and responsible and the the time of playing felt like being over. What I see now though is that it is our own choice to stop being ourselves at this point and subscribe to the ‘normal’ which is so much about the achieving and working hard and that being an adult comes with heavy responsibilities and that it is a very serious job! It is a way we create by subscribing to it all collectively. Yet I am learning just like you Marika that you can change this at any time and make the choice to simply be myself in what I do and do it joyfully.

    Reply
  • jenny mcgee says: December 12, 2015 at 6:15 am

    Marika, I love re-reading this blog, I can feel the relief of not having to try to be anything more than who I am in the effort to be accepted. It reminds me just to keep opening up to others and allow them in and there is such freedom and joy in this, thank you.

    Reply
  • karina says: November 23, 2015 at 7:25 am

    I felt to come back to your blog again today Marika – it is such a gorgeous expression and I can also concur to all you have shared. It feels totally awesome to just be and expand and let it ripple out and the world around us responds in kind, just beautiful.

    Reply
  • Kelly Zarb says: November 19, 2015 at 6:48 am

    “Have achievements, goals, and recognition become more important than true connection – leading us to always be ‘doing’ something?” Yes ‘doing something,’ was my middle name and I thought it brought me love through recognition, but it just took me further away from love. Getting back to basics and learning to just be in life, is a beautiful way to live and love.

    Reply
  • Leonne Sharkey says: November 10, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    It is truly beautiful to be able to simply hang out with another with no agenda and appreciate the loveliness that is there between us naturally and effortlessly. I have had the opportunity to experience this over the past few weeks and have been amazed by how supportive it can be to simply look into the eyes of another.

    Reply
  • triciaNicholson says: November 10, 2015 at 6:43 pm

    So beautiful Marika what a lovely sharing and i love how you end with “In our innocence we are so open and precious and truly divine.” how could we want to be anything else!

    Reply
  • Jo Swinton says: November 7, 2015 at 7:00 am

    I love the expansion Marika when felt what it was like to not be guarded – like your chest and heart were one metre in front of you! How gorgeous to feel the absolute fullness of the love we are and that the reflection of our love actually does extend far from our bodies. There for all to feel – being open is what we can offer each other in every moment.

    Reply
    • Marika says: November 14, 2015 at 8:44 am

      Yes and it’s the simple things in life that hold the gold and treasures – and its all inside of us – its such a delight to know this 🙂

      Reply
      • Samantha England says: January 27, 2016 at 5:55 pm

        Great reminder we can never find ‘it’ out there, when we are open to love and surrender to that love miracles happen naturally.

        Reply
  • Ingrid Ward says: November 6, 2015 at 2:52 pm

    I have discovered, by really getting to know me over the last few years, that I had been so good at “doing” for most of my life, that I had overlooked the joy of just “being”; just being with myself and being with others with no plans, no have to’s, just the choice to simply hang out. Now I have discovered the joy of hanging out and I love it, especially when it is with my gorgeous grandchildren as they are really showing me what “hanging out” truly means.

    Reply
    • Alexander Gensler says: January 21, 2016 at 1:26 am

      Reading your comment creates space in me – no have to’s, just the choice to simply hang out. I realise that my life is still too complex, I can introduce much more simplicity in my life.

      Reply
  • Jade Pattrick says: November 3, 2015 at 5:15 pm

    I love this blog Marika. Simply hanging out with people is the best ! It’s sad that a lot of people that hang out together need alcohol or drugs to do this. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    • Samantha England says: January 27, 2016 at 6:00 pm

      Jade this reminded me of when I used to hang out with friends when I was 13 on a park bench and drink alcohol we had managed to get, it was all very unruly and destructive, now of course a cup of herbal tea with friends offers connection and true friendship rather then it being based on a need to be someone and to look a certain way. How awesome it would be if all teenagers where inspired and given true role models so they looked within rather then outside.

      Reply
  • Jill Steiner says: October 29, 2015 at 5:48 am

    Thank you Marika for your blog. I really enjoyed what you have written. It is so simple to just be, and so easily seen and felt in young children as they connect and play with each other. Doing has been a big part of my life, living out side of my beinginess, I am becoming more of me and feeling the joy of just being.

    Reply
  • Alexander Gensler says: October 28, 2015 at 4:22 pm

    I love your title “Hanging Out to Simply Be Me” – life is so easy and light, when we connect to ourselves and don’t have any expectations and investments. We can deepen our relationship to ourselves more and more, that is just beautiful.

    Reply
  • Janne Price says: October 24, 2015 at 10:18 am

    Thank you Marika. Your blog is a very timely reminder to just be me. With a family get together coming up shortly I had started to go into past hurts and what I could say about those. How great that there is nothing for me to do but just be me and allow my family ‘in’, instead of protecting myself, hardening and no doubt creating some emotional drama. Lovely, thank you.

    Reply
    • Elena says: November 20, 2015 at 9:10 am

      During the last few years I couldn’t help but notice how much my relationships changed because I am learning to be me and not impose or have expectations of others. Especially within my family where previously I could go to “drama” or take something personally being me allowing others to be themselves. I like this simplicity.

      Reply
      • jenny mcgee says: December 12, 2015 at 6:21 am

        Elena there is great space and allowing in what you describe in simplifying our relationships without the drama.

        Reply
  • Jinya Mizuno says: October 23, 2015 at 9:56 pm

    When we are connected to that innocence there is no way we could harm anyone. Violence makes no sense, but it does make sense in a world populated by people who are not feeling connected to their true selves and their innocence, that there would so much fighting, warring and abuse of all kinds.

    Reply
    • Marika says: November 3, 2015 at 7:26 am

      Good point Jinya…the disconnection starts within ourselves. From our connection to the sweet innocence within, all that is possible is to love. Therin lies the answer to so many o fthe world’s problems.

      Reply
      • jenny mcgee says: December 12, 2015 at 6:25 am

        So true Jinya and Marika to connect to the love that we is not just a solution to our problems but offers an answer that can truly offer unity.

        Reply
  • mariette reineke says: October 22, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    I also love letting people in and to a great extend I do. Yesterday after an esoteric healing session I learned that Yes I do let people in but I still don’t show them all of me. So beautiful to feel how much deeper and deeper we can go with letting people in…

    Reply
    • Samantha England says: January 27, 2016 at 6:04 pm

      Yes Mariette I came to the same conclusion recently at a Women in Livingness presentation in London in which we got into groups of 4 and was asked just to be us. I realised it took me a while to open up and trust, when I started the conversation I was gageing how much I would let them see of me therefore limiting my love.

      Reply
  • Anna says: October 22, 2015 at 9:31 am

    ‘In our innocence we are so open and precious and truly divine.’ – Such a beautiful reminder to take into my day Marika. I loved reading this blog – powerful and very inspiring.

    Reply
  • Raegan says: October 20, 2015 at 3:12 pm

    Great blog Marika, what you have raised is so very true, we are innately so open, honest and playful as children. Yet when we get older that tends to go, yes for a myriad of reasons, but it is all of our responsibilities as adults to learn to reconnect to that which we innately are. Loved what you have shared!!

    Reply
    • jenny mcgee says: December 12, 2015 at 6:19 am

      It is a great reminder that our ability to connect and be playful is just there for us in any moment if we let our protection and armour down.

      Reply
  • iljakleintjes says: October 19, 2015 at 3:39 am

    ‘In our innocence we are so open and precious and truly divine.’ After reading your blog I felt so joyful to be reminded that it is not only okay but truly amazing to just be my innocent self and experience life as a child. No more trying to keep up with the rest of the world but just staying my imperfect, wonderful self. The Bachelor of Being Awesome sounds like a really important one and I think we should all receive that diploma the minute we are born.

    Reply
  • Brooke Taylor says: October 18, 2015 at 6:07 am

    Truly gorgeous and inspiring Marika. Letting people in just feels so beautiful.

    Reply
  • Sandra Henden says: October 17, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    I love your blog Marika and it occurred to me that maybe we don’t hang out with others because we are too busy feeling that we always have to be DOING something, to be making ourselves useful and getting jobs done, instead of allowing ourselves time to just BE. Many of us can’t even be on our own just enjoying our own company but choose instead to distract ourselves with shopping, TV or computer games etc. etc. Hanging out is a matter of just being and enjoying the company of myself and/or others and letting go of the need to feel I always have to be doing or achieving something.

    Reply
    • Marika says: November 21, 2015 at 6:37 am

      What I have been also exploring is bringing the quality of being into the doing – into my everyday activities…whether that be with or without people. Bringing love into as many moments of my day brings much joy.

      Reply
  • JY says: October 16, 2015 at 4:04 pm

    As this blog demonstrates there is a joy in simply being, which no amount of doing can create.

    Reply
    • Marika says: October 18, 2015 at 5:07 am

      Yes, there is no ‘doing’ in ‘being’

      Reply
      • karina says: November 23, 2015 at 7:27 am

        Love that – great reminder, thank you.

        Reply
    • Brooke Taylor says: October 18, 2015 at 6:09 am

      Very simply put! No amount of doing will can create the hot of just being.

      Reply
      • jenny mcgee says: December 12, 2015 at 6:17 am

        Indeed it is a very hot warm feeling just to be, no effort or trying!

        Reply
  • Michelle M Ryan says: October 14, 2015 at 6:46 pm

    There is such an open and innocent quality to this blog that it is an absolute joy to read and draw inspiration.

    Reply
    • Brooke Taylor says: October 18, 2015 at 6:10 am

      Yes Michelle, I found the innocence deeply moving.

      Reply
  • Michelle M Ryan says: October 14, 2015 at 6:41 pm

    I enjoyed what has been written here and remember back to being a teenager and just hanging out. When we allow ourselves to be, I find the inspiration for what can be done or enjoyed just comes. I imagine it could be very challenging these days as a teenager to get together to just ‘hang out’. With the advent of smartphones and computers, in one way, there is never nothing to do.

    Reply
    • Brooke Taylor says: October 18, 2015 at 6:11 am

      I agree Michelle, when I allow myself to just be – inspiration flows.

      Reply
    • Elena says: November 19, 2015 at 7:48 pm

      “With the advent of smartphones and computers, in one way, there is never nothing to do.” It is not actually “doing” when it comes to the use of smartphones but in my experience, it’s the absence of the person being absorbed in texting or checking something on the phone. There is no connection whatsoever and even though they might talk to me, there is that “nobody home” kind of feeling.

      Reply
  • Marika says: October 11, 2015 at 7:27 pm

    Yes its interesting the meanings that are often associated to the word ‘surrender’. In this article surrender is used to explain that simply ‘being’ is something we need not find somewhere, for it is innate in us all. Therefore to surrender is to get out of our own way and just be ourselves.

    Reply
    • Johanne Brown says: October 14, 2015 at 9:33 am

      Thanks Marika, its been great re reading your blog and all the comments.
      It makes me consider how in life ‘Being Human’, where its easy to become focused on the ‘doing’ has become more important than simply, a ‘Human Being’. It comes down to a choice ‘To Be or Not To Be’ with ourselves in all we do.

      Reply
    • Brooke Taylor says: October 18, 2015 at 6:13 am

      Hi Marika,
      This is what spoke so clearly to me in your blog… Surrendering is just letting go of the protection.. Choosing to be us… And it feels like a huge letting go of all of the things that restrict and confine us – super inspiring!

      Reply
      • Marika says: October 24, 2015 at 8:03 am

        Yes letting go of protection has been a journey for me too Brooke. Realising that there is nothing that I need to protect has really fast tracked this process 🙂

        Reply
    • Jo Swinton says: November 7, 2015 at 7:04 am

      Surrender is incredibly healing – no wonder it has been associated with war and giving up! True surrender offers us connection with ourselves, with no defences, no guards, no protection, not from our hurts, but from our deep loving and sensitive essence. Pure and divine.

      Reply
  • jane176 says: October 11, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    ‘Surrender’ used to be a word I fought, for I believed it meant I was giving in and therefore giving up. To surrender into simply ‘being’ is exactly the opposite – it is a commitment to opening ourselves to love, letting people in and letting love out.

    Reply
  • Samantha Davidson says: October 10, 2015 at 8:14 pm

    Hanging out is fun, I really enjoy it and make sure I have space in my life to ‘be’. Learning from children and young adults is also absolutely exquisite. Thank you or sharing.

    Reply
    • Brooke Taylor says: October 18, 2015 at 6:14 am

      I like hanging out too Samantha 🙂

      Reply
  • Loretta Rappos says: October 8, 2015 at 7:53 am

    “In our innocence we are so open and precious and truly divine.”
    I recently had the awesome opportunity to travel overseas with my husband to both Grecce and Italy.
    I hadn’t seen some of my relatives since I was 19 yrs of age- 32 yrs ago, and had not seen any of my husbands relatives before. But with an openheart and simply being myself I was able to connect to my true innocence ,and feel the oneness in our connection. Our outward differences did not matter. This was truly divinely beautiful to feel and confirm.

    Reply
  • Deanne says: October 7, 2015 at 7:03 am

    There is something remarkable to be observed in children – the way they play and are from moment to moment – just a few aspects of what you touched on Marika. I find the way children are almost mesmerizing, mostly by the way they move in their bodies – their fragility is harder to mask, there is a freedom, a lightness, almost as if I am watching only the movement of light itself. Young children remind me that we are beings of light and it is even possible to embody this in our human form.

    Reply
    • Marika says: October 18, 2015 at 5:14 am

      I love what you have expressed here Deanne…children are a great reminder that we are ‘beings of light’ and their wisdom a delight to be inspired by.

      Reply
    • Brooke Taylor says: October 18, 2015 at 6:16 am

      I agree Deanne… Children’s bodies aren’t restricted and as hard / holding into things as our adult bodies are… They move effortlessly and there’s a freedom there.

      Reply
  • Marion hawes says: October 6, 2015 at 4:14 pm

    Allowing that playful inner child out opens up a whole new venture playground of opportunities but most of all that love within is so expansive and reflects the joy of all that we naturally are. To share this with another is so beautiful.

    Reply
  • susan green says: October 6, 2015 at 7:00 am

    I notice as people get older it seems that we ‘take on life’ and it becomes more serious. We forget how to simply be and connect with others like we did as kids and instead get lost in the complications that we create.

    Reply
  • jenny mcgee says: October 5, 2015 at 10:14 am

    It is such a joy to hang with friends or even colleagues when there is not something driving or pushing the agenda. Whilst we are caught up with so many goals and outcomes we can sometimes miss the true purpose in life of connecting in a real way with others and expressing what is there to be felt.

    Reply
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