New Year’s Resolutions: To Give up Biscuits
One New Year’s Eve I made a resolution – to give up eating the biscuits in my workplace staff room. These biscuits appear consistently on our kitchen table and magically reappear, just when you think the tray is almost empty!
With certainty, throughout my decade of practising as a nurse they have always been there and for me they seemed impossible to ignore, but I was determined to sever my relationship with them.
ENOUGH of the biscuits already! I knew I never felt great after eating them. I would feel physically bloated and sluggish as I returned to work, or my body would be buzzing from the sugar while I blamed myself for displaying a lack of self-control.
So how hard could it really be to give up eating biscuits, once and for all?
I was armed with determination and a co-worker’s moral support; I held a belief in my head of what it meant to be ‘healthy’ and biscuits never made the cut. I thought if I was committed to making this my reality, this could be the first resolution (in my history) to actually be successful.
And it worked! For one month I gave up eating biscuits…
Come February, not only was I hard on myself for giving into the sweet temptation, I had now confirmed that I knew resolutions don’t work. But most importantly, I knew I hadn’t dealt with why I wanted the biscuits in the first place and without this critical key, how could I choose whether I really felt to eat them or not?
To unearth the reasoning behind my choices with food (which included eating biscuits) I didn’t require will-power or a plan of attack (or even a cold turkey!). Contrary to my old behaviours of self-bashing, abuse and loveless discipline, I discovered that:
- Self-Responsibility
- Self-Honesty and
- Self-Love were the keys that would support a new foundation for my relationship with me and my relationship with food.
It made no difference whether I sought biscuits and sweets, heavy carbs or salty snacks and even handfuls of nuts, vegetables or fruit. For many years I chose and ate foods that created a sense of comfort and a layer of protection in my body through their creamy textures and highly distracting side effects.
But what was there to seek comfort for and protect myself from?
I have held an array of ideals and beliefs as to who and how I am supposed to be in this world, keeping me either searching outside of myself for recognition from others or feeding the need to fit in and be liked; cementing further the belief that who I am is not enough.
A New Way of Living Without Biscuits
But what I now deeply know to be true is that I am amazing and I am enough, by simply being myself. I know this always, but sometimes the old beliefs and patterns of behaviour come along and I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.
I was able to understand the real reasons behind my biscuit eating through regular sessions with my Universal Medicine practitioners, but before this I used to think I was seeking certain foods for their comforting qualities and that this was the normal way to live.
I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world. When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.
Inspired by Serge Benhayon and the work of Universal Medicine.
By Cherise Holt, Nurse, Brisbane
Related reading:
My Body’s Reactions to Gluten, Dairy and Sugar
Being part of the Universe or a biscuit… it’s not really a fair match! 🙂 Jokes aside, I really appreciated reading this today, feeling that emptiness from not living connected to all of myself can lead to all sorts of behaviours that aren’t supportive. Instead of willpower maybe we need to look more closely at the relationship we have with shining and living connected to our inner amazing selves. Thanks Cherise.
Our food choices to nurture and nourish with nothing that will elevate or make us racy is a great learning as we will all benefit from eating from our bodily experiences that confirm our essences.
Not being me is why I seek foods or behaviors that don’t agree with me. While so simple I feel I run away from such simplicity still.
I agree, it is often only after we have given up a harmful behaviour that we get to experience just how bad it was by contrast with how we feel when we cease.
Nothing works like love – greatest power on earth. It is only through loving myself and feeling the delicious benefits of not numbing or harming myself that I changed my eating patterns.
A biscuit can not be stronger than living ”I am amazing and I am enough, by simply being myself.’
Being myself is enough and I am amazing also ,superb words and thank you?
Awesome Cherise, yes we are here to live ourselves in full, ‘our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world.’
This is the same with many people who want to lose weight, to go on a diet, or stop smoking etcetera, ‘I knew I hadn’t dealt with why I wanted the biscuits in the first place and without this critical key, how could I choose whether I really felt to eat them or not?’
Cherise your blog might relate to biscuits but it’s very universal in your understanding that we may make many different choices that are not supportive because of holding ourselves back from “simply being me in the world.” And the outcome “When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.” This makes so much sense to me and about the sadness we can often feel as we are deeply missing ourselves and expressing who we are fully in the world.
Self-Responsibility, self-Honesty and self-Love are absolutely the keys that support us in building a true relationship with ourselves and how to be with food. We (mis)use food to compensate what we feel and the choices that we make or to completely numb ourselves to not feel what is happening around us. The food we eat is just a reflection of how loving, honest and responsible we are with our body.
‘…there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.’ I completely agree with you Cherise. When I have a craving for some foods, by honestly listening to my body, I find there is a try to fill a gap of myself with that food. Because when I’m being myself I don’t need anything else but continuing being myself. Nothing can surpase that.
Our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full…. this statement, just this awareness alone, if lived, would heal so much of humanity’s ills.
Its ironic that by eating comfort foods we are keeping ourselves away from what could deliver us true comfort if we were to delve a little deeper and see what the real cause of our discomfort was in the first place.
This really says a lot when we expose how trying to fix something is only short term. And what counts is our willingness to look behind the end result. It is so supportive for us to be honest about this, and it helps to deepen the relationship we have with ourselves.
It is interesting that we call them re-solutions as the original solution hasn’t worked so we think if we ditch that behaviour the problem will be solved but unless we look at the underlying behaviour that caused us to e.g. eat biscuits, despite clear evidence that they don’t do us any favours, the problem is likely to re-surface but maybe in a different guise.
Not many diet regimes start with the foundation of how amazing and glorious you truly are and that you are this with or without the food you eat. Perhaps that is why they are bound to fail..?
“But what I now deeply know to be true is that I am amazing and I am enough, by simply being myself.’
and herein lies the answer to any weight or diet issue – we are enough – know this and addictions fade away.
It is interesting that we can also use thoughts in the same way to justify protection. We can go into a hurt and then the thoughts we have can justify any action- we go to right and wrong and can use this to justify anything that is not love.
So true… no food is ever as tasty as living the true you.
The appetite for the truth has not lure to take the edge off.
What works well for me is to continue eating biscuits but with more and more awareness. Often I find that, once I know the cause of the desire to eat them and how it feels afterwards to eat them, once I know these items very well, the desire to eat biscuits disappear. What I don’t know is how long the process will take.
I heard it put recently as re-solutions instead of resolutions and have been pondering on what the true mean of resolution really is. We often just use the term resolution causally without really discerning whether we have in fact come to a true resolution. I have noticed that in myself at times. Sometimes repeating things over and over with a fresh approach or renewed attitude but the underlying approach has not truly changed. I could say my New Years resolution is to do this or that but does that mean I have addressed the real underlying energy causing the problem in the first place? If not I wonder whether it is a true resolution.
Ah yes resolutions – when we know something isn’t right or we are doing something that doesn’t help we want to change it, but we often go into trying to fix it rather than dealing with why we are choosing that behaviour
Absolutely Cherise when we are connected the feeling is amazing and exquisite, nothing compares to it. Feel so blessed to have found a way to connect so easily with this essence through the Esoteric Healing modalities.
We make choices in so many things, and the choice we make has an effect upon us….. It always has and always will. And these choices happen all the time, during the day from the big ones to the little ones
Yes, and it seems our choices derive from the way we move.
We make choices in so many things, and the choice we make has an effect upon us… It always has and always will.
Using food to numb ourselves in a way to not feel something deeper going on actually makes a lot of sense…on one level. But when I have found myself going back to the same food or drink immediately after something happened in my day that I let myself get overly emotional or reactive about, I eventually began to wonder what the heck was really going on here underneath the surface, as the desire for these foods/drinks had a direct correlation to the emotional events, and it was like a reflex action to eat them. This is where the amazing approach of Universal Medicine comes in to show how we can only change a behaviour that is self-harming by getting to the underlying unresolved hurt that brought us to that self-negating choice.
This is gorgeous Cherise. I love how you have severed your relationship with biscuits by deepening the relationship with yourself.
‘When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.’
I had many foods that I called ‘my favourite’ in one breath but in the very next felt the regret of eating them with how unwell they made me feel for hours, and at times days, afterward. I soon realised that this was not a good trade off, a few moments tantalising, pleasing a rewarding taste sensation for hours of not feeling myself and instead feeling dulled. In developing a more intimate and loving relationship with my essence, who I am within, I now am guided more and more to eat and live in honour of this quality which supports me to make choices that honour the real me. I am totally with you in what you are saying here – ‘When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.’ – beautifully said.
” to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world. When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me. ” This statement truly takes the biscuit away.
Amazing read Cherise. I get caught out eating nuts sometimes even when I feel great – it dulls me down. There is a hurt and sadness I am suppressing. It just goes to show if I am not celebrating me when I’m with myself I’ll be caught in the old ways of numbing my joyful and loving feelings I’ve held about life, others and myself.
Great point Rik. Most of us are so conditioned to celebrate with food or drinks that when we feel great we end up taking ourselves out with indulgence, complete dulling down our brilliance. There is far more fulfillment, as you have pointed out, in simply appreciating how beautiful our connection feels and relish in the celebration of that.
I have never allowed myself to experiment with food (and I guess in general) until recently and I love it but what I feel is that it has to come from a foundation of ‘I am enough’ or even more ‘I am amazing’ otherwise there is no experiment only trying to numb what I feel and that’s what I have done for a long time either by overeating or undereating.
Once upon a time, no one would overeat because you just didn’t do that, it will be the same as filling the car at the petrol station, and standing there with the pump on while it is just overflowing onto your feet… It didn’t make sense then, and it doesn’t make sense now
It is amazing how, when you are sensitive and observant, there can be so much to learn from every situation.
When it comes to food and choosing what we eat it’s actually a simple choice about the quality of life we want to lead and how great we want to feel in our body. I really enjoy how food is a non-stop experiment as to what works and what doesn’t work for me, and I love the taste of many foods that leave me feeling awful and unable to work at my maximum level, so for me it always comes down to a choice of: what quality do I want my life to be.
Willing ourselves to change our eating habit is just an imposition of an ideal no matter how ‘correct’ that ideal may appear to be, and that explains really well why giving up something never works. We are amazing and we are enough – this is not just a mental concept either. When we are connected to and know this as a truth in our body, there never needs to be an ounce of effort or trying to give up something as our choice is already determined by what we hold as true.
Cherise, this blog is very inspiring to read – bringing clarity to not focussing on giving up some foods, but to dig deeper and expose the reasons for wanting the foods. The comfort foods are only a smoke screen to numb us from truth.
Yes Stephanie, by the time we are reaching for the biscuits we are already a number of steps away from our true selves. It looks like the biscuits are the problem but it’s actually our disconnection from our true selves, and how we are honestly feeling.
Cherise, this blog is very inspiring, bringing clarity to not focussing on giving up some foods, but to dig deeper and expose the reasons for wanting the foods. The comfort foods are only a smoke screen to numb us from truth.
If we acknowledge that food actually changes the way we feel it begins to completely change our relationship with food. I love how you explain eating biscuits as adding a layer of comfort to your body, if every food effects our bodies differently and changes what we can feel, the extent we can feel and even what we see in the world then would we change the way we ate?
When we start feeling the effect any food has on our body, it is easy to drop those foods. When we allow our bodies to speak louder than we use its words to stop all the behaviors we don’t want.
If we are totally honest and really pay attention to the details it is amazing how different foods provide different comforts to our bodies so we will use particular foods to deflect particular feelings we do not want to feel such as your example Cherise that sugar makes you racy.
We can have difficulties to give up unhealthy habits just like eating biscuits at the workplace. Will power will bring us somewhere but never to the truth that we are, we can discipline ourselves but to make other choices without the numbing and protecting effect is something that comes from becoming more love and give harmony in the body the chance to lead the way.
This story ” takes the biscuit ” it’s so true . When I consider I have given up unhealthy food for well over 6 months and to later be back eating the same unhealthy food . I have heard of people giving up foods for years and to again be back eating the exact same food and the return to the food can nearly always be attributed to a situation that developed. So truly it’s not the food . It’s so true Cherise as you say ” when we don’t hold our true self back ” one will never take” the biscuit.”
The concept that we can look at foods we are craving and rather than making it about the food, ask what is the craving about, and in that potentially address the issue is one that the world needs to hear. There is an energy of craving, for example to protect, or to dull, and by asking the question of what is this constant craving about, the answer will be known.
Work seems to be an easy and obvious place to have rewards. That it is OK to eat things because you are there and everyone else is eating them. But actually questioning this and saying perhaps this actually dulls me’ is amazing – it starts to challenge a ‘normal’ set up that is actually not supportive at all to our bodies or the quality of work we deliver.
… Our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full… This is the awareness that will stop in its tracks the awful flood of medical conditions that are swamping humanity.
In severing our relationship with lovlessness, be it with foods, behaviours, emotions or otherwise, we give precedence to a far greater and truer relationship to unfold, one that confirms who we are and fulfils us in every way. Our relationship with the love we are within is the greatest enriching relationship that we could ever want, which never ceases to deepen, forever offering us the opportunity to explore and discover just how amazing we are in essence.
Eliminating the foods we eat to numb, or shutdown, or get a buzz, or checkout frees us up to feel what is really going on in our bodies. From there clearer and more loving choices can be made.
‘I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world.’ Absolutely Cherise and so confirming for me to read this as I review once again what I am eating and choose to let go of things that no longer support me.
As the years go by and my food choices get refined by reducing the snack foods, it is clear that the body has many ways in which it tells you that food product no longer serves you – such as stuffy nose on waking up, full blown sinus post nasal drip, swollen lips, mouth ulcers, swollen gums, bloating, wind, foggy head, head ache… It gets to the point where it is just not worth it.
Cherise you’ve said it all, awesome! It’s not self restraint that’s needed, it’s self love.
There are so many things we deem normal in this world – normal as in so many are doing it, and yet we deep down know they are not good for us nor natural for our bodies. It takes honesty and dedication and a willingness to start loving ourselves to return to a natural normal way of being and living in this world.
Cherise what you highlighted here is not just about the biscuits but anything we indulge in stops us from feeling who we truly are. And when we connect to ourselves these ‘distractions’ become exposed – what a game changer and sharing for all to ponder on.
“I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world. When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.” When I am not being me I feel the lack the emptiness which leads to looking outside of myself to cover over the feeling of lose. Nothing outside of us can ever fill that, only being ourselves.
We have the opportunity to constantly expand and evolve, to be more of who we truly are, and that is love, in this world of comfort.
Once a year trying to change a habit, or a pattern that does not support this growth, will never work as we need to become honest with ourselves and truly see why we make the choices to not love ourselves. Your biscuits are a great example and like you say in the end of your testimonial of love “…there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.”
This is powerfully said Cherise: “…there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.”
This may sound odd to many – I know it may have sounded very weird to me not so many years back. However through finding more of the ‘gold’ of me and who I am also, and looking after my body far more deeply and attentively than I ever did – all since coming to the work and inspiration of Universal Medicine – I feel the same.
To eat even the most DELECTABLE-seeming biscuit or chocolate for that matter today, would actually not enhance how I’m feeling within myself, but take away from it – the sugar/carbs high and the rest came to a point of feeling so destabilising that I let these things go. And feel far the better for it. So yes, it may sound odd to many… but this is no tale of abstinence or denial here – it IS possible to know with absoluteness what’s truly good for you and what will match how great you can feel when you reconnect to the beauty of the essence within.
Biscuit cakes and chocolate were my go to foods when I felt I needed a reward, or to dull myself when I was feeling great. Even now after not eating them for 6 years or more (except for a brief but disastrous encounter with chocolate that made me sick for over 2 months) I can still feel myself occasionally being drawn to them especially by my taste buds along with a little voice in my head trying to convince me it is ok to eat it just this once, but I know it is because I am seeking something that I feel life at that moment is not offering me and that it is never worth the few seconds of satisfaction for the taste buds against the horrible feeling of dulling all of me. The lie is that it is never about what life is offering me but how willing I am to want to consistently stay in my fullness and not seek moments to indulge in me-time and self.
Doing battle with the biscuits we are at war with ourselves. When we appreciate the beauty of all that we are then there is no desire to crave any sugar coating.
hmmm not sure I should be reading about biscuits when I’m fasting, but yes it is wonderful to feel what we really can eat to sustain our life force
“To be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world” – The actions and patterns we want to change, similar to any symptoms of illness and disease are always the end product of a whole lot of steps away from this. In my experience it has never worked to just force myself to change a behavior, I have always been disappointed and felt worse about myself when this way has not been productive. This article offers a great example of the significance and the wisdom in looking behind why we choose such behaviours in the first place.
Well described Golnaz, I resonate entirely with what you’ve shared here. It’s not about abstaining from the cookie, but rather, a willingness to look at why I need to give myself such a rush in the first place. For me, it was always about not feeling enough within myself, coupled with a low-level exhaustion I had no idea I was living with until my vitality truly started to change and become far more consistent – all as I made changes in my life deeply inspired by the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
” I held a belief in my head of what it meant to be ‘healthy’ and biscuits never made the cut.” I have noticed that cutting things out of our diet just because it does not fit into an ideal we hold never works. It is the lived experience and really feeling in our bodies how we do not want that feeling anymore that in my experience does make it possible and sometimes easy to let go of foods.
I know that I made many an effort to give up eating many foods that deep down I knew were no good for my body, but unfortunately the giving up never lasted very long and I’d be back eating whatever it was again as well as beating myself up for doing so. It took a long time, but finally I began to see that I craved these foods, biscuits included, when I was feeling emotional or tired as they would give me the pick up that I was looking for, a way to numb the uncomfortable feelings. These days I still find myself craving certain foods but it doesn’t take too long to realise what is behind the craving, then I can start to heal what is triggering it; not always easy but totally worth the commitment to do so.
There are all sorts of reasons why we eat things that aren’t right for us, and they seem unsurmountable at times, but with honesty as you have shown, it is quite simple.
I love this because it exposes how comfort food is not such a cool option. I have noticed that comfort food is a very popular expression now and is given to justify ones actions and make the eating of chocolate, for example, normal, which I suppose if you judge normal by how many people are doing a certain activity, eating chocolate is normal although it may not be anywhere near healthy. Comfort food actually keeps us away from our own wisdom and thus the ability to make wise choices in life about anything at all. It gives a us a feeling of false security. It keeps us less than and dis-empowered.
I agree Elaine, using the term comfort food has become the go to phrase when we know we will eat something which is going to stop us from feeling, and we do know this but we plan to do it anyway. Making the choice to not eat and feel would be far more healthier for us in so many different ways.
Those tempting cookies! The key for me was honesty… honesty with myself that maybe what was actually tempting me was not necessarily because I was hungry but also because I could be exhausted, run down, needing a wee pick-me-up snack, not wanting to feel the office dramas, undervaluing myself and my beautiful expression.. and the list goes on. Food is nothing more than an escape if it is not to truly nourish and support the body.
Thank you Cherise… I know this resolution thing all too well. It means I focus on the biscuit and not the real reason I am eating them (or whatever else I am attempting to use to comfort myself). The mention of ‘highly distracting’ side effects stood out for me too as it really gives the game away. When I poison my body with food it gives me something to focus on and takes my attention away from my connection to myself.
There have been some foods that I really wanted to give up eating, but somehow could not quite get a handle on. Cherise is very accurate here when she talks about being honest. Because if I were to be completely honest then it would be clear to see what I was avoiding by eating these foods that obviously do not agree with my body – and then the choice would be easy, the foods would be gone.
It it interesting how much we can invest in the New Years Resolution from getting fit, losing weight or working on a plan to improve our life. From my own experience this has always come laden with ideas and pictures galore of what the final product would look like and the investment I had in making it work. Thank you Cherise Holt for writing about getting real FIRST with deep levels of understanding needed first before we go to any levels of change.
Where was this coming from, would the way we are living and moving affect our choices at the time? ‘I chose and ate foods that created a sense of comfort and a layer of protection in my body through their creamy textures and highly distracting side effects.’ Our relationship with food, could be the same as our relationship with ‘anything’ else in our life. Another great blog thank you Cherise.
Great to re-read your blog Cherise. ” I knew I hadn’t dealt with why I wanted the biscuits in the first place and without this critical key, how could I choose whether I really felt to eat them or not?” Dealing with the underlying reason why we choose to eat anything is so important because pure discipline, as in new year resolutions, don’t last long term.
The effect that food has on society is colossal, besides supersizing 1/3 of the western world’s population, food is always there as a fallback to just keep things stuffed down, so as not to feel the deep hurt of seperation
The more I learn about food for myself, the more I learn that it is never (first) about the food! Our relationship with food is equal to our relationship with all else, it cannot be separate, and so if our relationships in life are not going so well i.e. are not truly loving and harmonious it makes sense that the next relationship to be affected in the same way is that one with what we ingest. Our relationship with our bodies, our homes, partners, finances, work, our colleagues, exercise and absolutely everything has an impact on our whole lives and this simply includes our relationship with the way and of what we eat. Simple science really!
I have come to learn with foods that just cutting them out (Ive never dieted but probably the same) is not the answer as I have never been able to sustain the stopping. However as I have healed my hurts and issues over the years and developed a relationship with myself, thus knowing I worth looking after, not eating and naturally dropping away from certain foods has been easy. At times I have not even noticed I’m not eating something anymore!
So what if whatever food or fluid we place in our mouths does not really enter the equation, not when we bring our focus instead to the movements we have been making up until the point that we make the choice of what to have.. Does this not change the whole ball game? Our relationship with food may very well come second and yet equal to our relationship with everything (absolutely everything) else and if we are having issues in our relationship with our partners, family, work colleagues, with our bodies, technology, finances or anything else what choices are we really making when it comes to what goes in our mouths? If there is a sense of disharmony in any area, we will know just what choice to make to feel it less and dulling, over-filling or stimulating our bodies which read everything is a great way to do it.
It feel like one of the great keys to our wellbeing is understanding why we eat what we eat … could it be this simple, and yet so ignored?
What a timely blog, as i have been pondering on some of my food choice. “I have held an array of ideals and beliefs as to who and how I am supposed to be in this world, keeping me either searching outside of myself for recognition from others or feeding the need to fit in and be liked; cementing further the belief that who I am is not enough”.
There is a lovely dry humour to a title ‘A New Way of Living Without Biscuits’…. and yet how many of walk around with the self judgement of how we are living. Carrying a stick that we beat ourselves up with because we failed with the latest resolution? However, your blog clearly identifies that the way through these is just to identify the ‘why’ we are doing things and work on that with all the self love we have.
Absolutely, in honesty I have used many foods (not just biscuits!) as a tool throughout my life and since writing this blog. Whilst I now know and continue to unfold my responsibility of the choices I make and their inevitable impact on my, body, my awareness, my life and those around me; if I was to go into self-judgement (and stay there!) I wouldn’t truly be taking responsibility but instead stepping another step further away from choosing back the true sweetness that I am.
There is nothing that supports me more in my choices on what to eat than the responsibility I uphold to continue to feel, communicate, live and express the absolute beauty that I am and that I reflect in this world. When I connect to the purpose I now have to be me and all of me, to the best of my ability, I want this more than anything! and so I choose a way of moving my body during my day that upholds me, far before I come to the moments of choosing food. This to me is a constant work in progress and I’m still letting go of the hardness I can direct at me for choosing anything less, but that’s never (ever) the answer. Coming back to the simplicity of my movements and the responsibility I (love to) have, to feel my own quality is the best tool that I could have.
When we bully ourselves to not eat something it becomes a battle but when choose to honour how we feel and respect the workings of our physical body to keep us in harmony it becomes a no-brainer – literally.
It is gorgeous that we actually possess the greatest form of protection through living ourselves in full and it is therefore not something that we need to seek out or create. Yet many rarely use this super power, choosing instead to run or hide from what seemingly hurts us. It’s crazy that we prefer the struggle when it is simply just a choice to live and embrace who we are no matter what.
It is crazy that we choose the struggle over the ease that is possible, especially when the ease comes with the super power that you speak of Samantha! and yet, what I am learning, is that the ease comes with a great responsibility and a consistency in choosing so and this is something that many of us would prefer not to choose .. a crazy concept once again as with the responsibility comes the beholding love and enjoyment of life that we all deeply crave and simply already are. We deny ourselves from who we are but at any moment we can choose to let ourselves shine brightly.
Responsibility is a big thing when it comes to food choices, there are some foods I love but I know that I don’t function very well for DAYS afterwards, which means I am effecting everyone around me – that’s massive, and I can feel how many people I am letting down in the days of my body feeling awful afterwards… and that’s not ok.
I know this responsibility all to well also Meg, when we make a choice to not live the full lightness and beauty that we are we are choosing to let no one else see us either and the ramifications are a ripple amongst the world and its energy. On the contrary when we choose to and uphold the responsibility we innately carry to be our full and true Soulful selves and live transparently the light and love that we are we are left with a starkly different experience and from here an opportunity to deepen the relationships we have with others too.
“… there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.” This is the answer Cherise, you have nailed it. Without this inner connection and appreciation of who we are, anything we do will be with a level of harshness on the body, and in the end, this does not support vitality and wellbeing.
when we finally start to identify that which numbs us, we can start to fine tune our lives, and start to feel what it really is we are meant to be doing.
‘ When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.’ Very true Cherise I know I can overeat when I feel sadness as well, what has supported me to let go of this pattern has been to stay very connected to myself and notice when I start to wander and let thoughts in that take me out and want me to seek foods to drop me in anyway.
This is a great question Cherise in your comment, “What if our food choices actually came from a place of wanting to feel all that is happening for and around us and not from a wanting or a need to close off our awareness? Regardless of anything, this is possibly the most direct way I can link where my food choices come from. To either support awareness or to dull or bring down my awareness.
What if our food choices actually came from a place of wanting to feel all that is happening for and around us and not from a wanting or a need to close off our awareness? How different would our lives be and the clarity that we would hold around situations and life experience… There is a responsibility here that is worth mentioning, as we do know that there is more beneath our every food choice but it remains our choice to ‘go there’ or not.
Hello Cherise and it’s a bit early in the morning for biscuits but here it goes anyway. I laughed when I read the first part of this blog because I remember the never ending tray of biscuits and cake at work. I now work in a food shop and so it’s all on tap all of the time. As you say the resolution to not eat the biscuits always lead itself around to actually eating them or replacing them with something that looks better. There is something underneath any choice like this and start asking the question around this and the biscuit crave will just leave. We don’t like to hear it but with things like these they are always covering something else as you say. Thank you Cherise.
Biscuits (and any food for that matter!) are a far FAR cry away from measuring up to the absolute love and beauty that we so naturally emanate, BUT, biscuits sure do have a skill of holding us back from feeling this truth about ourselves and definitely from living it.
What difference would it make if we chose our food and drink from a place of absoluteness and quality already felt and connected to within ourselves and not from any sense of lacking self-worth or void? How different could the way we eat every day actually be and the knock on effect towards the foods that are actually available to us in this world too..
I know I can relate with this, and I’m sure many more can too, ‘For many years I chose and ate foods that created a sense of comfort and a layer of protection in my body through their creamy textures and highly distracting side effects.’ For me this is my choice, but still a learning, ‘ be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world’
So true, not a biscuit in the universe that could replace or compare to the true feeling of joy from within. Although food is our biggest relationship and holds many patterns and beliefs that run deep and can be very imbedded and take some time to let go of. My experiencie is that when I make a decision about what I eat from listening to my body rather than my head, it can be sustained. No will power or cold turkeys needed, Just the honesty of what I am feeling. Of course I still over ride this at times and find that it is a continual refinement and adjustment, likened to all my relationships.
It is just seen as so ‘normal’ that we eat in a way that doesn’t support our bodies, but why – because everyone else is doing it? The food that we choose is always reflective and telling of how we are really feeling and this is is something we always have the opportunity of looking at and being open to.
I was teaching at a school once and went into the staff room for morning tea and it was like a cake shop… I asked if this was normal, and they said , oh no only on Fridays, on other days we don’t have so many cakes…. Imagine having such a relationship with your body that you would not even consider eating like this.
I just so appreciate being able to pass by the cake shops and patisseries and not feel drawn in. There have been periods in my life when I would have pastries and biscuits every day and I never thought I would be able to live without them. I know my body is so much healthier and my mind so much clearer without them.
Well said Cherise. We can easily exchange one thing for another if we don’t get to the root cause of the matter.
Self-responsibility. The big one for me has been picking at food whilst preparing it. I know it doesn’t make me feel good. I know it doesn’t serve me. So, with this undeniable knowledge fully known, there can only be one reason why I would continue to do it? Total irresponsibility. Without the picking, I am in better shape to serve humanity. With it, I am not. There is nothing more to it than that. A choice. Of responsibility. What is fascinating is that when I look at it that way, then it is easy for me to make the true choice – I respond to playing big. If I contract and play small, the ‘stakes’ appear to be lower (they are not – it’s just me kidding myself) and thus the irresponsible choice is easier to make.
I love what you share here Otto, when we make a food choice based on what is ahead of us, in the sense that we cannot predict nor control it BUT we are in charge of how we will be when the next situation comes to us, we are in responsibility. Then our food choices become not at all about us or our own stomachs, but supporting our bodies to be vehicles of expression, love and truth with ourselves and all others.
When we begin to feel our bodies and what is true for it, we can at times feel when to give up certain foods, I know when I have felt this impulse to do so, it has been easy, not a big deal and it has felt great actually to honour my body. When we try to give something up and it is from our heads, this is when we can fall into trouble, it feels like a rule and not something that is honouring.
This is a great point and brings a huge difference in experience Raegan, with much self-wisdom. I continue to notice that I may feel a true impulse to give up a certain food as it’s not supporting me, but can then in time find myself choosing it again, at a time or place where I feel unequipped to deal with what is there in front or around me. This is a big part of the process for me in evolving my own diet, it’s almost like when I am at home I do not need to eat apple for an example and yet at work I may find myself craving some; what this presents to me is a deeper opportunity to look at how I am living, feeling and dealing with my work environment and the sensitivities I feel and be appreciative for the chance to see it.
It is a fascinating journey when we begin to look at the food choices we are making and the reasons why we make them. Even more interesting is when we repeat choices that we not only know are not good for us, but that have painful or uncomfortable side effects on our bodies too. This brings me back to the part of the article where self-responsibility and self-love come in as the key as there is always a deeper level to explore and thus live with ourselves and this is something that we can always remain open to – learning.
I have come to understand that saying ‘I am not going to eat or drink certain things’ doesn’t as you found out cut it. Sometimes it is more harming for us to deny ourselves a certain food (e.g biscuits) if we don’t fully address the energy we are trying to cover it up with first. And then when the foods fall away … they truly fall away and never come back : ) allowing more Love in the body.
This blog takes us into a deeper realm way beyond the broadly accepted comfort eating argument, to suggest that the comfort derived is merely a form of protection from the true amazingness we can feel ourselves to be when we no longer choose to dull ourselves through food. But why would we ever choose to protect ourselves from feeling truly amazing? Why, then we’d have to begin to be responsible for that amazingness, for being it – and that’s the tough part! Enter biscuits as a comfort. And so the cycle continues.
I have found it most useful to bring a quality of discipline to my food choices that comes directly from the communication of my body, NOT from any form of idea about food and NOT with any form of control, but rather a choice to be discerning about when and how much I will eat so that it will truly support me to be ME in the World.
I am learning too that to stop and feel my body, through as simple a technique as breathing or feeling myself sitting in the chair is enough to know if a food choice feels right to me; or is coming from any form of anxiety, stress, raciness or a lack of connection. Our bodies do speak ever-so loudly when we listen, from here we may still choose to make the same food choice, a different one or even decide we’re not actually hungry, but the beauty comes in giving ourselves the opportunities to listen and really ask ourselves what is happening for and around us.
I have read this blog before but this time I read it on with a new level of understanding, that comes from the process of more deeply connecting with myself through Chakra-puncture, Esoteric healing and Esoteric Massage sessions over the course of this year.
It doesn’t matter whether it is sweet treats or really any food – although some foods will work better than others – but it is the act of seeking food or drink to confirm the holding back of our true selves from being in the World; the retreat and withdrawal into ourselves rather than sharing ourselves. And in this, we can hide in food. You have nailed a most important factor Cherise, in deeply cherishing ourselves in the knowing that we are everything already and have nothing to do and so no failure is, in fact, possible.
Nailed it equally so Emma “…confirm the holding back of our true selves from being in the world” this is a very painful realisation for people as they discover just how self-abusive foods can actually be chosen and used. If we were to know in full how amazingly sensitive, beautiful and of absolute purity in which we come, would we ever truly wish to hold this back? or even worse, hurt ourselves for ‘being everything’ in the first place.
So many of us, as Cherise says, seek comfort and protection… Not just from food, but from so many activities, hobbies, occupations, distractions,… It would seem as if humanity spends so much of its time avoiding something that is so in its face, that it has to work very very hard to not feel it… And yet a simple connection with oneself can start to build a foundation of self-love that will take the place eventually of all these things.
A moment of Comfort, or endless joy and lightness, I know which I would prefer!
Indulging and using food to dull our awareness can be done in so many ways, even by simply overeating at a mealtime. We are forever made to be responsive to energy, and too much food is one way to turn down the frequency. To over eat, indulge or eat foods which we know aren’t good for us takes a sustained effort to turn down our bodies and switch only to the sensation of what we are eating.
We can use foods (and drink) for all kinds of attacking or abusing ourselves. Whether to dull down or speed up, it leaves me feeling how absolutely powerful we must truly be when we are ‘simply left alone’ to ‘just be’.. through choices that we can make for ourselves to honour and support the loveliness that we are, we make the choices to not alter our presence or physical body with foods ~ as absolutely, there is nothing worth it in the end. To feel the graciousness and purity of who we are and live in the world with this knowing of ourselves is the most exquisite feeling to live with.
I have never taken on news year resolutions as I was aware that they were a fleeting thing and failing to keep them felt worse than the way of living I wanted to change. Pondering the reasons for disregarding patterns and looking deeper can be exposing but also bring the relief honesty allows. For you it was biscuits Cherise and for others it can be any number of things, but to bring honesty to whatever is not working for us can be a beautiful, expanding and healing experience. Thanks Cherise.
Self-responsibility, self-honesty, and self-love need to be seen as the loving discipline that they are. It is not the normal kind of discipline that we associate with hard work and misery but a discipline that remembers that we all come from love and thus our daily choices support us back to that love or not.
Thanks Cherise, the tendency to go straight to what should or shouldn’t be chosen and not feel into the underlying state that made the original choice is very important to contemplate. Becoming clear on the feelings that drive us into behaviours does take a certain deepening of awareness and the teachings of Serge Benhayon are of great support for this.
It is amazing to me when I feel the power of words. When I felt your words…who I am was not enough, I knew this was a key. Self worth is such an issue for so many and that includes me, but no longer. I am enough. When I know I am enough, I need nothing, I can stand as me, enough, with or without qualification, profession, food to offer – without entertainment or comfort to offer and it is enough. I can just be me and biscuits just get in the way ha ha.
This is so important to understand Amanda, as our acceptance of who we are means everything because without this we hand ourselves over to a gigantic pool of thoughts that tell us we are worthless, not good enough or simply ‘not there yet’ – but where is it exactly that we are going? when it is a fact that we are already everything in preciousness, divinity and absolute beauty. The biscuits do get in the way! as do all things that we use to dull, dampen or race ourselves away from the choices to accept and simply love who we are.
There is another important element here to deepen our understanding of self-responsibility, as what we do and the choices we make not only affect how we are, dampening, dulling or racing up our otherwise natural glow; our choices affect everyone else around us and in fact energetically throughout the world. Our food choices can be more than just making ourselves feel healthy and well in our bodies, they are part of the foundation for preparing the vehicle that we walk, talk, move and express our quality from in each and every day. This understanding is very powerful and something for us all to consider.
Thank you Cherise for sharing your story; there is so much that I can relate to.
Self-Responsibility, Self-Honesty and Self-Love provide the underlying foundation for truly knowing that we are enough, therefore not needing comfort food, whatever it may be.
Gosh yes I remember the self bashing ‘beating myself up’ over eating foods that I knew were not good for me – a lack of self control. This behaviour alone was in some ways more harming than the actual food item itself. Definitely time to ‘reflect’ on our choices with a more self-loving, responsible approach.
Yes Marion, in some ways more harming and in truth coming from the same pool of thoughts and energy that had us making the initial choice to eat in the first place. We can’t beat thoughts that are disregarding or abusive with more of the same, that’s just impossible! But what we can do is make a choice to move with the love and quality that we know ourselves to be and from here hold no judgement over ourselves but instead we’ll naturally make more self-loving choices from the quality of movements we make.
Everyone has their ‘biscuits’, their security blanket, their comforting rituals or objects, and identifying and starting to release these habits is a great start to allowing and nurturing a deeper and truer connection with ourselves.
How often do we make life about our issues rather than about joyful living and acceptance of ourselves as imperfect but nonetheless divine and therefore amazingly beautiful! The way the world is geared tells us that willpower is the key to changing habits. Yet I have learnt over recent years that willpower isn’t enough; if I haven’t looked at the root cause, the quality of the energy I am living in hasn’t essentially changed and so the same types of issues will keep cropping up. Cherise, what you are offering here is such a key message which would put an end to a lot of the multi million diet industry, not to mention other big money generating ‘health’ schemes, and spare people a lot of self loathing for what they perceive are their failures.
What you have shared here is revolutionary. It reveals the fact that regardless of having biscuits or not, it is the energy that is the issue. The undelt with hurt that lays there unhealed that influences our very decisions and our feelings. We could actually give up biscuits but the energy of the hurt still remains and the same addictive comfort can be easily sought in other things. Hence true change is to deal with our hurts.
Correct Joshua and I could say that my deepest, oldest hurt comes from not living the real me ~ who I truly am. But for many people this may not make much sense as they think they are living and being themselves, what else is there? The emotional roller coasters, feeling depressed or the self-abusive food choices become a ‘normal’ everyday way of life when we know no different.
The revelations come when we begin to heal the ways we are living that simply do not equate to love and as we learn more and more about ourselves, that our true selves are actually divine sparks of joy and innately wise, absolutely confident and full of more beauty and Soul than one could attempt to imagine. We only then begin to realise the hurts we’ve really carried and the world away we have live from that which is the real us.
What it is is completely and utterly uncomfortable, not honouring the awareness that we have and reading the energy of situations for what they are leaves us dropping or dulling from our otherwise very clear and precise innate intelligence. With this choice it is no wonder we seek the ‘anaesthetic’ to not feel our discomfort and tension from living less than the fullness of grace and beauty we truly are.
Comfort is an interesting word… It’s seeming innocence belies the fact that is what people are turning to in droves to avoid simply feeling what is there to be felt… In fact it is the opposite of comfort it is simply a handy anaesthetic.
Our honesty here is paramount Lieke, because what happens is by making a choice to not be ourselves through a lack of acceptance of how amazing and divine we are; the choice to eat foods has already been made. We already put that order in as soon as we chose to dull down and ignore ourselves and our beauty.
It’s interesting isn’t it, so much of life, media and sales has its focus on food or diets and yet nothing out there is asking us to look at the energy we are in when we make the choices, this is where the answer lies.
It does indeed not matter if I eat biscuits, which I don’t, I have found some other foods have the same numbing effect as biscuits can have. It is totally about how I am with them, like I found myself yesterday eating a certain food just because I felt uncomfortable in my body. The funny thing is that even when I realised I still could not really stop and was already back at the closet to get more before I was noticing! I noticed how I did feel less after eating in this way.
It is absolutely about not wanting to feel something and that might well be my own amazingness and maybe other peoples reactions to it too. Thank you Cherise for this loving blog as I can feel now again that yes I am amazing always.
Thank you Cherise. I love reading your blog and I love food too. I have chosen to eat foods in the past I knew were not supporting my body but I ate it anyway because it tasted so good. The taste was great but how I felt afterwards was not so great. So for moments of satisfaction and comfort eating I then suffer the consequences hours or even days afterwards. Really it’s not worth feeling heavy, dull, grumpy and tired for choosing food that I wasn’t supposed to eat. Now, I am choosing to feel amazing and therefore I have listened to my body and adjusted according to what I feel to eat that is nutritious and supports me to be myself, to feel energised and joyful.
This is perpetually self-empowering Chan as the choices to be ourselves, lead further to supportive food choices (and many others too) that further feed us back the nourishment and nursing that leads us to further choose to be more of ourselves.
Living this way, it is simple to see that we are not only the end result of our choices but that there is a very vast difference and chain of events that follows our initial choice to let our loveliness and bright-sparkly-warm-glowing love shine all over the world!
Thanks for the simple reminder Cherise, I am amazing and I am enough…..always. A great foundation to live by no matter what.
I agree with you Tim.
Thank you Cherise, I really loved reading your article; these words stood out for me to ponder “when I hold myself back…… I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.”
Thanks Cherise for displaying the negative affect of eating certain foods and how easy it is to change our old eating habits
Absolutely, and there can be no hardness when we view this not about the food but from a self-loving love view. It is deeply nurturing to honour ourselves and reflect on our choices because we are choosing to be honest and take responsibility and this quality will flow on to the next choices we are going to make.
When we don’t feel that we are enough we look for things to fill us up, to satisfy us. For some it might be cigarettes or for some alcohol but for me it was chocolate and biscuits and the combination of the 2 were my favourite. I tried many times to give them up but it wasn’t until Universal Medicine that I got to understand why we eat these things and what they do to us that I gradually stopped eating them and have not eaten biscuits for more than 6 or 7 years….once I accepted what you have written here Cherise…” But what I now deeply know to be true is that I am amazing and I am enough, by simply being myself.”
Yes, this is huge, self acceptance is a way of walking, breathing and living in our bodies that knows exactly who we are and the divinity we bring with ease. Knowing ourselves intimately brings a healing to all of our relationships with others, with life, with food and with everything and we are able to build more of a true foundation for ourselves all the time.
It is amazing that what food we choose and when, can give us a marker as to how we are feeling inside, even if we are choosing to not be aware of this feeling. I know for myself if I start wanting more fruit, which is something I don’t usually eat much it is because I am wanting sugar so it is a time to ask why and look at what choices I have been making that have been void of self care, self love and responsibility.
In having recently begun to bring more consistency in my own food choices, through a commitment to understand what is behind them and looking at the reasons I was looking to be less aware and numb to what is around me I have realised that the issues I thought were mine are not, they lie with those around me and I simply did not want to feel the tension that this creates between us.
This is a big revelation Michael, there is certainly a choice we can make to numb ourselves down so that we are not different; confirming that separation or tension are not at all a part of our natural way of being. Thus we are needed to live in our awareness and reflect to others that in this state of being we are always one ~ one with love and one with God.
This is spot on to what made, and sometimes still makes me, grab chocolate, biscuits or any other sugar filled treat. Covering up that what felt missing in my life, and was continually searching for, recognition of some sort which never truly fulfilled me. Knowing the amazingness within did, it is making me feel complete and without the need for recognition.
The simplicity in what you share Benkt shows us all that it is all about connecting within and never about searching outside ourselves to be filled.
‘I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.’ is something I can attest to. So reading how you broke the abusive cycle by firstly choosing to see it and then choosing to be the love you naturally are just shows me no sadness or pain or anything in the outside world is ever bigger than who we are. Thank you Cherise.
When I have a pattern of self nurturing/self loving my choices are based on feeling first then responding to what my body clearly shares with me then, there is a ‘completeness’ about my day and a solid foundation has been laid. When I slip into old patterns of behaviour the complete opposite can be said, it is then that eating foods that are not nourishing are consumed.
‘I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world.’ This is so true yet many of us have been brought up to think protection is keeping others out so that we do not get harmed, to put up a guard and not show all of who we are for fear of what might happen. It may take dedication over some period of time to undo all of that and I love how you share ‘When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.’
I agree Elaine, a biscuit is no substitute for true love. I numbed myself for years on biscuits, cake and chocolate, but it did not make me happy. I still have to contend with a part of me that wants to eat all the time, and I realise that it is only by making self loving choices not to eat to numb myself that will lead to healing and that does not mean cleaning out the fridge when I have a wobble !
I loved what you shared here Cherise ” I discovered that: Self-Responsibility, Self-Honesty and Self-Love were the keys that would support a new foundation for my relationship with me and my relationship with food.” We could say that those 3 things are the ingredients to most choices we can make in life. The are simple, direct and uncomplicated.
Being ourselves IS our greatest form of protection… but unless we are feeling that connection inside this seems like an unreachable ideal… the thing is … it is simply the next step done in trust.
Yes Chris there are moments when I know I am connected to myself and no amount of temptation can sway me. Maintaining this knowing and feeling of wholeness is what everyday is about.
Maintaining this knowing and feeling is an interesting point you’ve brought Patricia. There are many different ways that we can support our connection in our day and the rituals, rhythms and readings of our cyclical way of life is important in guiding our own support system. I enjoy the fact that there can be no perfection with this way of living too, that it is about learning and honouring and always about love as our intention and with this we build our foundation and support our connection to be far deeper all the time.
‘I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full..’ Absolutely Cherise – when we are full of the love we are and allow others to see and feel that fullness then there is no need to fill ourselves with food or seek distraction from the emptiness we feel. By your endeavour to unlock the reasoning behind biscuit eating and wipe out the pattern you have also allowed others to eat less too. The power we have is very real and our connection unquestionable.
This is very true and quite humbling Rachael, this understanding takes away the need to be hard on ourselves for the choices we have made that haven’t been true, because not only are they a learning they are an opportunity to learn for ourselves and then share with the whole world thereafter. Inspiring others but also sharing that in our essence and connection to the beauty we are, we can make a change to anything.
There is so much in what you have shared Cherise, being kind and loving with ourselves when it comes to food, to look at not only ‘what’ we are eating, but why we are eating it, to look at how we protect, that when we are being ourselves in full, there is ‘no’ need for protection. All of these are incredible life lessons, so simple and very beautiful.
Thank you Cherise – reading your blog has inspired me to go deeper with how I am with food. Overall I am pretty good with what I choose to eat but I still have a few pockets of comfort that need to be looked at and addressed.
Cherise I can completely relate to what you share here “But what I now deeply know to be true is that I am amazing and I am enough, by simply being myself. I know this always, but sometimes the old beliefs and patterns of behaviour come along and I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.” This is exactly what I do, with food and holding myself back. It really is about accepting and appreciating how amazing I am and knowing that I am enough. To really embody this I am going to have to really work on claiming this.
It is a claiming for us and also putting a stop to the merry-go-round of constant repeating that we can allow to happen when we come to such truths (of who we are) and return to protection or holding back. How many times can we go around like this, coming out hurt and knowing we don’t have to do it again? It’s a waste of time or more honestly it’s a delay we can choose to not live how amazing we are, which will expand even more and we can feel more (and all) of the time. It’s our choices that determine if we delay this or let ourselves fly in full flight.. Let us all choose full flight!
I am continuing to see and uncover how it is that the protection I ‘think I need’ out in the world is not at all needed and in contrast, is non-protective and nothing but harming, for both myself and all those around me.
Well put Cherise. ‘The protection I ‘think I need’ out in the world is not at all needed and in contrast, is non-protective and nothing but harming, for both myself and all those around me.’
My experience with resolutions dictated from the mind is that they just set you up to fail as will power is not the answer to giving up what you know to not be true for you. I am very grateful to Universal Medicine for showing me the power of bringing love into our choices for with that, these unwanted addictions and behaviours no longer have a foundation to live from and tend to just fall away without any effort at all.
I love what you’re sharing here Amita, our tenderness is a part of the key to our sensitivity and awareness and of course without being tender we are alternatively being hard. When we are hard we shut off our sensitivity and are unable to make decisions and choices based on what is loving for ourselves. We need to look at our choice to shut off long before we look to our following choices to negatively self talk and eat unlovingly or without true nourishment.
Cherise thank you for this sharing, this line popped out to me “I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world.” I find myself lose my connection to tenderness when I become hard on myself, when I am overwhelmed with work. When this happens I end up eating carbs or some thing that has some sweetness. I know when I have been connected and not holding back, no carbs or sweet foods enter my mouth. So tenderness is what I feel I really need to work on, and let go of being hard on myself, just accept being me.
So true Cherise, and inspiring to read and be reminded that any reach I have for something outside myself to comfort me, be it food or anything else, is a clear indication there is something I’m not willing to sit with in that moment.
Thank you Cherise. This blog holds some really great clues as to why we seek comfort food. I always thought it was to make myself feel better, yet the foods I reach for for comfort make me feel sick so the answer must be deeper seated. That the answer lies in in the fact that I miss being my full and true self, and that I have protected myself from feeling this by having food that distracts me, by giving me different feelings to concentrate on, is a revelation.
“I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world. When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.”-
Cherise- thank you for sharing what is underneath food addictions eg eating biscuits ,and how you overcame this.
Very inspiring and confirming.
Loretta Rappos, perfect timing to read the quote in your comment! „…our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves-to live tenderly with ourselves and others…“
When I smoked or ate biscuits I could feel they were not doing my body any good, but I carried on regardless because the comfort those things provided by taking the edge off the rawness of my hurts was of greater value than my health. Since those days, I have let go of those hurts and found that I did not need willpower to stop cigarettes or biscuits. Gradually, I just didn’t need them anymore.
It is a tough biscuit to swallow when we realise that we have placed the value of comfort and disregard above and beyond the value that we hold ourselves and our bodies in. Our bodies house our movement and expression, they are the vehicle in which we can deliver light and love wherever we go and to deny this beauty and power about ourselves and our bodies is excruciating to feel but with a deeper, more loving foundation we can begin to value ourselves above and beyond anything else.
Awesome Jinya, it’s through self-love that we are able to let go of old habits and behaviour that was not loving. When we truly connect to loving ourselves and cherishing our body naturally anything not loving simply falls away effortlessly. Thank you for sharing.
Hello Cherise for a second visit , as far as I can see we have a good reason for everything we do , it is that reason that needs investigation, because if we do not have that reason we also do not have do what we did when did have reason to do that. Thanks again Cherise.
Cherice it is true, until we find out and address the reason for the eating of certain foods nothing will change. I can vouch for that!
The key is to start with self honesty as if I don’t then my addictive behaviours have no chance of changing, as I haven’t even nominated them as destructive. The self love is also super important other when we see the behaviour otherwise its easy to go into self bashing.
Bringing self-honesty, self-love and self-responsibility into our lives allows so many ideals and beliefs to just drop away, and opens up space for so much true change. Our lives also become more vital as we are no longer on the exhausting merry-go-round of constantly seeking something illusive outside of ourselves.
I can so relate to your sharing Cherise…our ward staffroom invariably has a bowl of sweets or chocolates sitting there. Every meal break and every time someone passes through the staffroom to the loo they collect one, or two, or three!
In the past, if chocolates were out I would make excuses to go into the staffroom but I knew at the time it was the hook of the chocolates I was really going for. Since attending Universal Medicine and making more loving choices in my life I find I don’t need anything sweet anymore – the way I live brings all the sweetness I could possibly need. I can now sit in front of the bowl of sweets/chocolates and feel no hooks, no need for something outside of me to sweeten my life.
Your blog clearly outlines how resolutions don’t work – they are all about stopping what we do but never looking at the underlying reason of why we do what we do. Until this is revealed the old automatic pattern will kick in, and the self-bashing will perpetuate it.
This is so true, and what I am finding more is that the space I once used to protect myself can now actually be used to let others in… for them to see who I really am and therefore the equal love I can hold them in too. Being hurt is such a trick as it isn’t something we need ever hold onto for it only keeps us feeling separated from ourselves and others and more hurt as we miss deeply our connections.
How true that our greatest protection is to be ourselves in full. In that we cannot be hurt. When we are full with us and loving ourselves the outer world does not have such an impact on us.
Great comment gail fuller
If we choose to not hold back we are able to deal and see clearer what is going on in every situation, bringing a loving understand to it all and able to express what is needed.
Yes, and if we choose to not hold back the absolute power that we are and naturally bring to any situation the knock on effect of having held this back and the momentum of leading us to unsupportive choices ceases to exist. Amazing isn’t it!
I agree Gail, I have found this to be true. It feels amazing to simply be myself and let people into my life. When I seek protection it’s because I was hurt, so by healing my hurts there is then no need to protect myself from people but instead open my heart to everyone. I can also relate to your comment, when I am being myself in full the result is that I feel less impact when I feel hurt, it doesn’t stick I can feel it and then let it go.
Once we understand the reasons why we’re self-medicating our choices are much clearer and it can become surprisingly easy to stop the behaviours.
Beautifully written Cherise. I too have found that willpower alone is short lived, and was definitely never my strength. Biscuits were my weakness; if I bought a packet I’d eat all the biscuits within a day or two, to the point of feeling unwell in my stomach. Now I am not tempted at all because most of the time I’m not wanting to fill up an empty space inside – just as you so eloquently describe, we need to look to the why, and then the unwise food choices that once controlled just drop away.
The hurt that we experience by not living true to ourselves and our innate, deeply beautiful knowingness is devastating, a devastation that I have felt to the very core of my body and yet it’s not a hurt we have to hold onto or carry around with us. But it is important to feel, so that we know who we are and where we come from that feels true for us and brings a true purpose to not want to make the choices to hold back any longer.
I just re-read you blog again Cherise. This is such an important point you make that if we hold back who we are it hurts and we can’t stand the hurt so we seek escape food, activity (TV, computer, Mobile). So we keep ourselves busy with a lot of things to not look at how much we hold back.
Sometimes I desperately want a snack. These days I will be looking for a healthy snack and start baking something but still this craving is something I cannot put my finger on. Making sure I have a supporting meal around helps me to avoid searching for the ‘harder stuff’ (corn chips, nuts, healthy bakings etc.) which I now realize sounds like a drug addict looking for a fix. Like you described I am starting to wonder what is going on at these moments but in the same time being aware that am not entirely ready to give up snacking. While I am writing this I wonder why it feels like giving something up when deep down I know what I will be getting back in return. Am I seeking comfort and protection like you are saying? And from what indeed? Of course I have read many articles on this subject but your words ‘I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body’ have inspired me to start doing the research what happens before my decision to unlovingly stuff myself with food. Thank you Cherise for sharing your story.
It is a very personal exploration that we can undertake on this subject Ilja. I have found more and more that I don’t choose protection or comfort because there is anything wrong with me or any hurt or jealousy I am worried will be targeted towards me, this is really just a ploy and a smoke screen to cover up the truth and depth of what I really feel. And this truth is that I knew exactly who I am and that the world needs to see my purity, love and depth of joy, but because I held onto the hurt of having not chosen this way of living for a long while I needed to uncover that hurt for myself and make the choices to let it go – to express it in full as not being a part of me anymore. It’s an ever deepening acceptance program for me.
Thank you Cherise…this has been a very revealing read this morning. I have been looking at why I put out the protection smoke screen, and you have given me a great starting point to look at more deeply. I have also been feeling a lot of resentment towards myself and wondering why – resenting myself for not living what I know to be true…thank you for your reflection.
Cherise and Ilya you have just connected the dots for me! I have known the link between overeating and self acceptance but hadn’t connected at a deeper level and related it back to the outplay in my day. I use a snack to reward when I finish or achieve a task in my day, I may be doing a painting and without even a hungry impulse I find myself in the kitchen and virtually have to turn myself around and ask why I’m in there and what drove me there … it’s that strong! I’m putting myself on a ‘acceptance program’ as I feel that resonated in me!
Wonderful sharing how a behaviour around a biscuit has unfolded such insights. That at the heart of all that we do is a direct relationship on how we feel. Understanding this, you can understand how to adjust the behaviour.
Before meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I tried many diets and was able to at times control what I ate but then in stressful times would give in again to things I knew harmed my body. Since attending Universal Medicine courses and having healing sessions I have connected to a loveliness and yumminess in my body that I never felt before. I have also been able to experience much more clearly and instantly how awful I feel if I eat certain food. It is a bit like putting my hand over a flame – it burns, it hurts so I choose not to do it. If I would eat bread for example I would feel so heavy, bloated and lethargic it would be awful so why would I do that to myself? The more often I make loving choices the easier I find it to make the next choice loving and I don’t have a need or desire to poison myself!
Cherise thank you for another insightful article. I am only just beginning to really feel for myself the enormity of what you are saying. I am getting to feel how amazing we all are as human beings and at the same time how far from that we have all been living. It is actually nothing short of a travesty and I can understand fully why I and most of the world look to soothe our hurts with any manner of comforting ways.
Such a lovely article to return too. The many slimming programmes I’ve been on over the years, spent many hours creating the right calorific menus, but, all ended with the same results the weight went back on and some. No diet or diet regime ever mentioned bringing the 3 key points you share with us self responsibility, self honesty and self love into the picture. It would not be called a diet but ‘a way of living’ and your relationship with self. Your article is an inspiration Cherise thank you.
Gorgeous Cherise I love the playful way you write about this behaviour. It feels like when we are lighter with ourselves this way it makes it easier to look deeper into issues than just the temptation on the plate. Your questioning and honesty transformed these biscuits into a true fortune cookie.
When we bully and impose on ourselves to not do or eat something we create a battle of will that has to be constantly fought which is exhausting and we feel we need a break. When we make the choice to treat ourselves with love and care there is no battle or conflict just a choice of what supports us. We do not need a break from self-love.
How revealing it is that we seek comfort to numb the hurt felt when we hold ourselves back “..from simply being me in the world.” Wonderful to read your blog again Cherise.
We cannot protect ourselves against food that creates layers of protection and comfort. Nor can we comfort ourselves that we are out of them. If they go, it has to do something that simply is no longer in tune with the body.
So true Cherise, there is nothing that can compare to the natural yumminess of your amazingness. As within, we are it all.
Gorgeously said Carola, so, so true. Once we feel and accept how amazing we actually are, it is much easier to making loving choices to support us to continuously feel this amazing all of the time. It definitely is possible, it all boils down to our choices. We can make choices to dull who we are or ignite our true power.
Yes Chan and acceptance is indeed the key in this.
I used to love biscuits too and eat loads of them. I don’t ever remember trying to stop eating them though. The desire disappeared as I gradually changed the way I was with myself, and although my diet is far from perfect I have to agree ” there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.” Thank you Cherise
Cherise this was an awesome blog… This paragraph ‘ For many years I chose and ate foods that created a sense of comfort and a layer of protection in my body through their creamy textures and highly distracting side effects.’ made me stop in the midst of eating and I had to laugh at myself as I realised I was in the middle of doing the same thing ! Thank you for sharing this awesome piece of work.
It is an interesting pattern to see where I am not living the fullness of who I am, pockets of emptiness pop up and I go to fill them with foods that provide comfort but no support.
There are many ways in the world to ‘protect’ ourselves from feeling what is truly happening, and to stop ourselves feeling the deep hurts from our childhood and from our ongoing lives. Creating a foundation so that we have the connection within to forge this path of honesty and recognition is the first step to healing ourselves, and returning to the clarity and strength and wisdom that is there in all of us.
Hi Cherise, what you share here is so powerful in it’s simplicity: “I know this always, but sometimes the old beliefs and patterns of behaviour come along and I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.” I can totally relate that as long as I live me in full there is no need for biscuits or any snack, when I hold myself back from fully enjoying me anything that is eatable will do so to speak! Thank you for the reminder.
I have tried the will power method before and it works for awhile. I found when I gave up nuts for awhile, I got used to not eating them and carried on for some time not eating them. However it is those times when I feel uncomfortable or simply don’t want to be honest, self-responsible or choose love that the old patterns and food choices come out of nowhere and willpower just doesn’t cut it. Only love has that power to end these patterns and really is all any of us ever want.
Great blog Cherise.
When I am doing something that I know doesn’t work for me I continue doing it with as much awareness as possible. Over time that increased awareness shows me more and more clearly how much the behaviour hurts me and the pain or the memory of the pain become clear earlier and earlier and in many cases it is suddenly easier NOT to do that behaviour than to continue it.
Easy 🙂
What a beautiful and honest sharing Cherise, reading your blog I could feel the times when I still use food to comfort and dull myself. Your blog has inspired me to look more deeply into this behaviour, instead of reaching for food to make the choice to be all of me…. as there is no biscuit in the world as sweet and delicious as me!
Anna it has also got me thinking about the times that I reach for the so called ‘healthy foods’. There are many times when I reach for them automatically and I have had an inkling recently to pause when my hand flicks out to grab food and to feel what is the impulse behind the movement.
‘but sometimes the old beliefs and patterns of behaviour come along and I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.’
This really rang true to me & I feel I can re-read it many times.
Cherise, I agree that there is nothing more yummy than being with and living me. In moments of self doubt I find myself reaching for something like a biscuit -even though they have no sugar and are free of dairy and gluten, the energy I am seeking them in is the same as for any biscuit. I am working on feeling and loving me and, as you say, there will not be a biscuit that can equal that!
Cherise this is so inspiring and a much needed read. Thank you.
I had a great day out shopping with a friend, really enjoying each others company, making loving connections with most of the women who served us. I did not think about eating all day until towards the end when I was getting hungry.
Hello Cherise, this line takes a bit of understanding but it is very clear in its message, “I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world” You have certainly given me more to look at Cherise, biscuits or no biscuits, thank you.
I agree Ray this is really something to behold, that living the fullness of who we are can be the greatest form of protection, but not in a guarded or closed down way. By meeting the world with love, with every step, gesture and word, we are saying to all of that which would harm, I am so much more and the quality of this energy (love) can not be penetrated by what is courser and heavier.
Exactly Simon, there is something very real and ‘untouchable’ about holding yourself in full and not holding it back from being seen by others. From here there is a tangible sense that not only is there nothing to protect ourselves from, there is no protection required from others in our presence either, only the same choice to be love.
BINGO Cherise your question here on ‘resolutions’: “I had now confirmed that I knew resolutions don’t work. But most importantly, I knew I hadn’t dealt with why I wanted the biscuits in the first place and without this critical key, how could I choose whether I really felt to eat them or not?”
If we are not honest about the ‘resolution’ aside from the surface layer ‘why’ that we often like to use, such as, to lose weight, be healthy/fit, have more energy etc., then we’ll never get to the bottom of things. And continue making the same resolutions that seem to always not work. If we’re choosing the surface layer reason, how honest can we be to see there may be a deeper reason behind it as you suggest Cherise. In other words, do we truly want to kick ‘our habit’ (whatever that is), or not? Leaving this as an issue or question of comfort, and moreover how far we are prepared to remove this from our life: The biscuit/food/activity etc. is not the comfort, rather the choice is.
Not only did you give up eating biscuits, you also cut through the thick layer of consciousnesses around food and abuse for all of us. Thank you for this contribution to our way out of abuse, Cherise.
True Cherise, I cannot imagine any biscuit in this world more delicious than you. Or me for that matter!
“I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world”….Cherise you speak the truth, no doubt about that. And this is a truth that needs to be shouted from the roof tops for all and sundry to hear. To be who we are in full – is our greatest form of protection. I know when I feel my amazingness, any ‘issues’ that come towards me just bounce of me, like I am teflon. Yes I might be hurt by something, but when I am like that, I feel it and let it go. Nothing sticks. But when I am not in my fullness, there is not enough biscuits in the world to fill me up. It is a day by day – sometime moment to moment – commitment to live myself in full and to be tender with myself and others and not to hold back. Some days its super easy and some days it super hard but I know which ones I prefer 🙂
I loved reading your blog Cherise. I can relate to much of what you said. I was continuously eating or drinking foods, in quantities, that I knew would make me feel uncomfortable at the least. I was in the arrogance of thinking I could eat whatever I wanted, in whatever quantities I wanted and tough it out through the reaction from my body. Not only did I have to deal with the reaction from my body but the reaction from me. I knew I should not have eaten as much or a particular food. Yet here I am repeating something over and over and this creates doubt, I cannot trust myself, why do I do this. A constant belittling of myself. This was the true harm. Trapping myself in a cycle that fed itself. I was introduced 3 years ago to something called self-love. Me, a tough resilient, arrogant man self-loving. I must have tickets on myself. But I could feel that it was true. Today I feel I have come a long way, with much more to come in “self-love”. It now does not make sense to eat or drink in a way that is not supporting of my body. The more I develop my relationship with me the easier the choices become.
A truly amazing blog, and has helped me feel why I get ‘addicted’ to certain foods and why making resolutions and going cold turkey doesn’t work, and that further undermines me, by then judging myself. Thank you Cherise for being the amazing you, and showing us all another way.
So true, nothing comes close to the feeling of being who we are and expressing that in full – no biscuit, no holiday, not a single thing.
This is a great blog, Cherise. I love the simplicity of the truth you have arrived at – the amazing feeling of being you. I am working on that one, too.
Being who you truly are is the most delicious thing ever!
Indeed, the key is to deal with underlying issue of “why do we want to eat certain foods (that are not good for us)”. Thank you Cherise for writing this.
Absolutely right Cherise, being ourselves in full, that simple, elusive (if I may say so) way of living, with consistency, wipes our all the complexities around diet, exercise, work ethos and ways of being in relationships. Just be who we are in full is simple, not easy, but so powerful and those who are embracing this know the truth that this is what really makes life about love, joy and harmony.
As we get more aware we have to become more honest about what does and does not affect us – this is a great breakdown of the myth of resolution – even the word sounds hard and crazy disciplined – how many of us truly go the distance without something else playing out in another area of our lives. The getting to the root is the key and really starting to love ourselves for being nothing short of amazing – this healing process allows us to shine and close the many biscuit tins forever.
Thank you Cherise. I can totally relate to this sentence ‘I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.’ And I also love how you claimed that no food could taste as amazing as you are and feel when you are just yourself – this is so true and immensely powerful.
After just reading the first two paragraphs I went ‘Wow’- how crazy is it that it was your experience that an unhealthy food is always on the table for the nurses to take from. Nurses, doctors and the hospital environment who know through their studies what is and is not good for the body. This is also similar to how dentist have lollies for children to take and then on the wall there is a sign saying that 50% of children suffer from tooth decay.
I can understand what you are saying here Johanna08smith, that it feels contradictory that healthcare workers as advocates of health are not commonly seen to take true and lasting care of themselves. After all, we are the ones in the career to support others and their health and what I have noted is that we can only take care from the quality in which we live in our own lives. There is a responsibility here to not just practise what you preach, but live in a way that you will support and inspire another to make supportive choices and take responsibility for themselves too.
Hello Cherise, given your profession and your awareness that you have brought here you are already making huge changes into the health system. They may not be all ‘seen’ yet but in time they will come to light, thank you.
Being truly honest with oneself and getting ‘underneath’ why one is repeating an-unloving behaviour is so powerful. When I was introduced to this approach by Serge Benhayon I found things like stopping drinking alcohol or eating cheese, things I felt inconceivable to do, just fell away without any stress or heartache. Truly amazing.
Cherise it sounds like you literally got to the bottom of the cookie jar in uncovering why you found it hard to give up the biscuit. I agree in what you share in the fact that no biscuit no matter how tasty can ever replace the feeling of living all of us from our connection to our hearts.
This is a really important point…”For many years I chose and ate foods that created a sense of comfort and a layer of protection in my body through their creamy textures and highly distracting side effects.” It is not just the healthy running of our bodies to consider, it is how we feel when we are in them, how often have we and I know I have, reached out for a biscuit or cake in search of a bit of time out, a rest, I have felt this wave of a temporary reprieve, or relaxation as I taken a bite as the sugar and gluten have an effect. We all have a slump and feel a bit more light headed, racy or numb and get on with our day, but the thing is we always want more, so we layer our bodies with this sense of numbness and detachment. This is way I have stopped eating gluten and have very little sugar.
It feels like we will do anything to hold back from shining our true light in the world, and from something as apparently simple as eating biscuits, we can have an insight into one microcosm of the phenomena, and yet it is so revealing. Thanks Cherise, for putting that lid BACK on the biscuit tin of life, and for writing about it.
So I’m reading this and my mind turns to biscuits and before I know it, my mouth starts watering without my say so! It is shocking to me how quickly that energy comes in if we let it. Thank you for this reminder about what is really going on. I experimented for a while with literally laying down every time I got the sensation of wanting something sweet. Not very practical, but it built in me the recognition that I was craving sugar because I was drained. There is much further to go here. Thank you.
I too loved eating biscuits with a cup of tea. Something I got into from working in an office in the UK. It was only 2 years ago on New Years Day that I decided to stop eating gluten, dairy, sugar and caffeine. I used the New Year as a marker for trying out something new and something that was for me. I was interested to feel how my body would respond and it was a little challenge I had set for my self to see how long I can keep this commitment up and really listen to my body. I will never go back to my old ways of eating, now I feel so amazing and energised that there is no way I would go back to how I used to eat. It was from learning to really love my body and care for myself that I am able to let all those old eating habits go.
The Why do We eat certain things at certain moments is indeed an important question to ask ourselves. It is not so much what you eat e.g.for one person sugar is the thing, for another a hand full of nuts. With me when it came down to stopping with certain foods, I have felt for myself the difference between the will /resolution and the discovery of why I eat certain things. The first (will) is indeed short term. It doesn’t last, takes a lot of effort or the food is replaced by something else, but the deeper cause is not addressed yet. I know – already years ago -when I found out and deeply felt why I was smoking cigarettes (I am nobody, but when I smoke I am somebody), I could stop easily. Why? Because I deeply felt this was not true and that it was a choice I made looong time ago when I felt hurt and alone. For me now, I am exploring why I eat nuts in between as a snack. Apart from the habit I found out it is a way to keep me from going deeper and therefore being with myself. I have committed now to stop eating nuts for a week ánd feel what it is about when the ‘nut urge’ comes up.
And we can keep adding to that recipe Lieke, by bringing all the qualities that we naturally are to our relationship and way of living every day. When we are feeling more tender and more precious with ourselves and our bodies I have found this would have to be the best space to make our next responsible, honest and loving choices from.
Yes that’s what I discovered too Cherise…that dealing with why you want to eat a food is key to understanding why we make the choices we do. Recently when a work colleague discovered that I didn’t eat gluten, dairy or refined sugar, she commented on how disciplined or strong my willpower must be. But I shared with her that it had nothing to do with willpower…there are lots of foods that I used to eat that I love the taste of in the mouth, but feel awful in my body an hour later and make me feel tired or bloated for days. So very simply it is just a choice of how great or not I want to feel.
I’m getting more savvy with observing what foods I choose for comfort and am always adjusting what I eat based on how my body responds. It feels like a never-ending fine tuning day by day and week by week. In recent years I have really noticed that I crave more sweet foods when I am tired or have over-extended myself…which makes sense as the body is attempting to get a quick energy fix. It’s a great gauge for me to look at how I am living and make the adjustments back to the harmonious way of living that I so cherish.
Every time I read this blog it offers another perspective, or more aptly, a deeper understanding of my relationship with food – today the piece that struck a chord was the role of self-honesty. Food is the source for nutrients to keep the physical machine going (constantly wearing down and re-building) – the energy source being God’s Light is all we need to sustain our being. So being really honest about whether I am running on God’s Fiery Light or a very much dulled down version is a great place for me to ponder with True honesty my reasons for that one too many mouthfuls of food.
Absolutely Greg Hall, I am asking myself more deeply — am I eating to be the lightness that I am in my body and am I eating to be a body of love? When I ask this my purpose of eating is beginning to shift further in the direction of supporting my body physically and energetically and the patterns of eating for any other reason are becoming much less the focus.
What supports my body of love is indeed a great question Cherise. What I am working on is learning to deal with the feelings of emptiness in my body, which definitely are not feelings of true hunger. What is important for me that I have taken away the ‘drug’ of always wanting to feel ‘great’, which I used as a cover-up to not feel some less pleasant feelings. Now i have taken that drug away, feelings of emptiness, the feeling I cannot cope with life (victimhood) and all the hurts surface. Food are great to numb those feelings but I determined to not use them for that purpose. What helps that I deeply know that these feelings are not the real me. Thanks to Serge Benhayon, his family, many practitioners that present the work of Universal Medicine.
You’re absolutely right that resolutions don’t truly work long term if we don’t look at the reason/s behind our abusive behaviour. Will power alone is not the easiest way to change our not so supportive ways, and often we can just replace the behaviour with another habit i.e.. giving up smoking and then starting to eat more!
I love your recipe of healing any unsupportive behaviours we may have: Self-Responsibility, Self-Honesty and Self-Love. I also discovered that by being more tender and self-loving with myself I am much more likely to find what is really making me do certain things that I rather would not do and let go of them.
Cherise, whenever I read this it’s like the first time. All I wanted to do tonight was make biscuits, so I got here before I let the craving get me! Thank you for offering understanding and posing the question of why I want to choose that and what is behind the craving. All you say is so true, the self-bashing and restrictions are not the way to go.
Totally not the way to go Rachael and I love the support that we have in knowing we are not the only ones going through such experiences, that there is another way and that so many people are working on, understanding more and accepting the learnings from their relationship with food and themselves.
What a great sharing Cherise. When we try and give up something from our minds it may work for a little while, but undoubtedly, unless we are really strong willed, the habit creeps back in again. The true way to give up something for good, is to feel the reason as to why we are wanting that thing. Well done for choosing to see what the energy was behind your biscuit craving.
Thank you Cherise. I was eating a snack as I read your blog fully aware that I was using it as a comfort and a distraction. I observed myself racing to finish it before I got to your awesome ending (I did) only to find that yes I have been seeking out foods for comfort and medication and I have accepted this as a normal way to live. Your blog offers the opportunity to feel and see so much more. It is not normal to accept feeling less than the amazing woman I am – you are right Cherise – there is no snack sweeter than being all of me.
Yes I loved that line too Leonne…’there is no snack sweeter than being all of me’…so true and so gorgeous!
Absolutely Leonne and Marika, I also love that there does not need to be a judgement made on ourselves for having chosen to eat something out of comfort or numbing – because if we take the fork in the road that leads down critique lane, we are still deferring our energy from seeking truth and re-connecting to our amazing essence. I’d rather take the roundabout so I can reflect back and see, not what I chose thereafter but what I initially felt around and within me at the point where I decided I wasn’t enough.
A great reminder Cherise of the need to truly feel into the foods we eat as it’s easy to slip into old patterns and continue to eat for comfort. All we do is substitute one ‘comfort’ food for another.
I love your revelation at the end ” I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world.” Beautiful.
I love how you write Cherise – another great article – this one made me smile I was not a biscuit nibbler but a crispy muncher – and even today after all that I know about how eating these ‘things’ affect my body I sometimes give in to this urge! Realising it is when I am tired! I used to put so much pressure on myself to kick this habit – the more uptight I got the more I gave in to the crispy nibble. No more excuses – My body clearly shows me when I make loving choices and it certainly shows me when I do not.
And when we remove our focus from being on the food itself to a dedication to asking ‘what is going on for us?’ and ‘what energy is behind the choices we are making?’ the opportunities for learning and understanding open widely for more healing to take place.
Yes Cherise, for me it is allowing that time between a craving and the action of eating that makes the difference. I’m working on creating space to ask the questions and feel the answer in my body instead of going with the head or taste buds.
Cherise. All those lovely sugary biscuits, with a hint of chocolate was my daily treat. Those days are now behind me, and I feel so much better with not eating them and all that sugar intake, that was not doing me a lot of good.
How well do i know the feeling of failure after a resolution is dropped after the initial first succes! I for one have felt that the result of a failed resolution is far worse then what i had resolved to stop or start doing in the first place. There was always a profound feeling of giving up, ‘i can’t do it’ and a feeling of being less worthy because of it. Come to think of it maybe we should do away with resolutions all together and simply start looking at not only what we choose but why we choose it. Then what we choose next can come from a loving relationship with ourselves instead of the fight we go into when we only try and stop ourselves form doing something.
Hear Hear, resolutions are out the door! – making space for true choices based on what is loving and what is not and our own bodies provide all the science that makes this possible.
Yes, no ‘resolutions’ needed and no ‘giving up’ needed either when the choice to stop eating something is because it doesn’t feel great in the body. because then its just a choice of choosing foods that nourish and support our body…or not. And if we choose the ‘not’ then we can ask why which then leads to an honesty and so much opportunity for healing our destructive patterns of sabotage via food choices.
I also love that we can continue to refine our food choices and look more deeply into the quality of energy we are eating in when we have a certain food. I know for myself I may cut something out because it doesn’t seem to agree with my digestion, but when I look at how it was that I was eating it, regardless of what it was, there is more detail and precise assessment and reflection of each choice that I made, how and why.
And if we don’t renounce the energy behind it, even if we think we can (and actually might) give up biscuits, they will just get substituted for something else.
Too true Joshua, I experience this on a daily basis where by nuts and over eating on ‘good’ food have taken over from chocolate, cakes and bread. I go for this when I do not give myself grace to feel or understand what is going on to actually renounce it. Like it is too hard to name it so I’ll just go for the comfort anyway, even though I know there is more to the story. Thank you for the reminder of the importance of renunciation.
This blog is so full of wisdom, I especially was struck by your statement that the best protection you could ever have was being the full you, thank you Cherise.
Great blog ! 🙂
Thanks Cherise, for your lovely funny blog. I have been a ‘treat’ tragic forever it seems … and even though my choices are much improved, there is still the urge that comes in to reward or comfort after a ‘tough day at the office’, or just for fun because it hasn’t been a tough day, or on adventure so now it’s ok to have a treat … but finally I understood that choosing sugar was just another way to run from what I was feeling going on around me, or my reaction to it, and that this is no protection but rather hurting me even more. Through staying steady with myself it is easier to feel what is going on without taking it on. And knowing that connection and feeling what is true inside wins hands down over any treat this world can send my way.
Cherise, how empowering to sever your relationship with biscuits and in doing so, honouring and deepening your relationship with yourself through honesty and self-love and appreciation. I agree that we hide our hurts in our food cravings, but when we choose go deeper and feel what is actually going on, an unbinding truth is revealed. I have found this to be true when addressing my food cravings and food choices. Thank you for sharing your beautiful unfolding and amazing wisdom you hold within – ‘our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world,‘ – an inspiring revelation and reminder.
It is true Cherise, It’s never about the ‘thing’, whatever that is, outside of us that we grasp for, but always ourselves and the missing something we seek to fill. I now live a life free of alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, sugar, but whenever I reach for nuts or vegetable crisps I know that pockets of emptiness still exist. To be free of this compulsion completely would mean I’ve finally accepted all me and replaced emptiness with love.
Thank you Cherise for the insights.
I too, have realised how self defeating it is to use will power to ‘try ‘to stop eating a certain thing. It immediately sets one up for failure and self -bashing for having ‘failed”. Getting behind the reason for wanting to eat something that really doesn’t serve the body is the key, as you and many of has discovered.
Where I still struggle is when I allow myself to get hungry to the point where I just grab something that actually isn’t what my body would really love, this is where I am still come undone!
I realize I need to be absolutely committed to giving space and time and planning ahead for my days at work ( I am a chef, that’s an irony in itself!! and another story!), where I often can’t eat for many hours at a time. or access the food I need to eat.
I am learning how to honour my body in a rhythm of eating that is right for me, and feeling what kind of food is going to be the right thing in that moment … In this dedicated way of self loving, nothing can be left to chance. We must put in the practical elements in order to be the love and the presence we are going to be. Our human bodies need the right fuel!
So true Cherise, as you say “I had now confirmed that I knew resolutions don’t work”. We have to feel from deep within if we want to stop with, in this case eating biscuits. We have to find the root cause behind our tendency to look out for this biscuit, or whatever we are looking out for, and as you say Cherise it is from holding ourselves back in any way in our expression into the world. If we do not allow ourselves to feel the hurt that brings to us, we have to num it down in our bodies, and eating certain food will assist us in burying our feelings of hurt. But why should we continue to do so, if we feel that we want to stop with this behaviour? You have given me the answer with this blog and it is about accepting that we are amazing beings and ok as we are. If we are able to feel that, than, as you say “there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me”.
Thanks Nico, I am continuing to learn that it is an ongoing process of accepting this amazingness that we are, it’s a choice to make, to accept ourselves, each and every day and regardless of what is going on around us or what hurts are coming along to be exposed for true healing and learning.
Great sharing Cherise, there is always more behind the behaviors than we think, it is not just about stopping but also feeling what is behind it. This is so simple actually, but from my own experience I can be quite stubborn in not wanting to feel what is happening so I will keep eating sweets and biscuits..
Hi Cherise thank you for the great read and the insight into biscuit munching ,you are so spot on no biscuit or what ever we choose to medicate with comes any where near what its like to be in our essence.
Distractions are something I am looking at and how and why I choose to do this. Making the commitment to myself to allow the time to reflect on my distractions is a good start for me. With the intention to rebuild the sort of relationship with myself I have always wanted, but looked everywhere but inside me for it. Thank you Cherise for your inspiring story.
It’s a great moment to read “not hold ourselves back from the world”. I love the perspective that a biscuit does not contend with the amazingness of who we are. Thanks Cherise.
That is well put again – “a biscuit does not contend with the amazingness of who we are.” Great expression, thank you.
Beautifully said Cherise, especially “I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world. When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.” This shows me that whenever I feel drawn to eat too much or something that does not support my body that I have lost connection to the beauty of who I truly am.
Yes Mary I do this through taking on roles.
I agree Mary, so simple and yet so hard at times. I too know that when i go to reach for food when i am not hungry or not want to feel something that it is be protecting myself. Not necessarily wanting to be honest with myself either. But learning also to bring love to myself as well as the honesty, that i am an unfolding student and part of bringing the awareness is also brining the love for myself in that process.
But what was there to seek comfort for and protect myself from? Thank-you Cherise this is a question that I can ask myself when I am not being in my own fullness and I am seeking something outside of myself to fill me up. And I love what you have written “Our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full to live tenderly with ourselves and others”
Cherise thank you for your blog I still have a little battle going on with biscuit from time to time and your blog has shone some more light on the whys? and also how to step beyond this old pattern for ever. Very powerful reading especially if you are a cookie muncher.
Beautiful Cherise, I love your three simple points for looking at a pattern or behaviour which does not support us – I can see how these would start to address the issue rather than burying it or trying to ‘control’ it.
You are such a beautiful person Cherise. I love your ‘about you’ just as much as I loved your blog. I too have found leaving biscuits out of my diet difficult even though they are gluten and dairy free. Your last line ‘that there is no biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me’ is gold. To focus on my own amazingness rather than that of a biscuit – now that makes sense.
Thank you so much for your very clear and inspirational blog Cherise. I love it and will read this again as it has so many layers of truth and inspiration.
Thank you Cherise I loved reading your blog and agree wholeheartedly. Every moment counts and there’s learning and always more love to unfold even when it comes to biscuits 🙂
For you Cherise there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that couldn’t contend with the amazing feeling of being you, and for me there isn’t a hot chip in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.
Awesome Medeline!
I love what you share about the biscuits and then reading it and realizing it is not about the biscuits, nor is about the nuts, fruits, or cakes or whatever we eat or do to protect and or numb ourselves. The greatest protection is to be all of you and then what ever you think you need, in this case the biscuits, will just drop naturally. You don’t have to make any resolution…
Cherise, thank you for your honesty. You have described so simply not only the act of snacking on whatever it is, but what feeds the urge to snack. As you say true old patterns of behaviour have a curious way of creeping back, if we let them. For myself the moment I return to snacking, nuts usually, I know I am seeking comfort and must delve deeper to feel what is going on. It shows me that the Way of the Livingness is a constant process dependent on each and every choice we make.
It can sound silly to write about biscuits and make it a big thing but you have made it a light revelation that exposes the depth behind a seemingly banal behaviour.
Thanks Arianne, there is a lot of wisdom to these words, and the more I let go of my old ways of protection the more I am able to accept and feel that it is in me, living my fullness and the greatest potential that I possibly can, (which is proving to be an unending depth of love) the more my true protection is solidifying in my foundation.
But what I now deeply know to be true is that I am amazing and I am enough, by simply being myself. We are all amazing and we are all enough, but perhaps the choice is whether we self love and self care or we self bash, we self Judge, we self loath and feel unworthy of love because we are not enough or deserve love…. whatever we choose, that is what we live and unfortunately get more of – more of the same unloving choices. When we choose love for ourselves, the distractions that kept us away from love begin to fade and drop away.
Gorgeous Cherise, thank you, so much to learn from here. Presenting the critical key, your experience and how you have resolved it- to now “I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world.”
Thank you Cherise for the reminder of all those New Year’s resolutions that came to a stuttering halt only days after they were made, usually in desperation and hope of a better life. Now, with self honesty, self responsibility and self love, and with making choices every moment of every day to support this amazing body that has supported me for so long, I have a life that nurtures me both inside and out.
” I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world”. I completely agree.
What a beautiful expression Elizabeth, I also totally agree.
Ha Elizabeth, exactly the sentence that I pulled out as significant and on that note of course totally agree.
Elizabeth and Cherise it’s such a fascinating truth isn’t it, that living ourselves in full actually offers us total protection. So many people live the absolute opposite, they hold themselves back continually for fear of being hurt, exposed, criticized, rejected, ridiculed etc and yet when we are just able to say ‘this is me in all my glory, exactly as I am right now’ then nothing can harm that because we are already bearing everything anyway and the freedom in that is colossal.
Great sharing Cherise. Love the simplicity with how you describe the big impact biscuits had on your wellbeing and how you build awareness towards it. We often think that little things don’t matter, but they do and they make a big difference. I love how you say “our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world” and how a biscuit can impact this!!!
Thanks, Cherise. Self-Responsibility, Self-Honesty and Self-Love – now those are great ingredients to add to your life.
My experience with ‘giving up’ anything is that I have never been able to ‘give something up’ successfully – in the way that you describe the new years resolution etc. : yes, I will be able to ‘give it up’ for a few months, but this has required enormous energy and will-power on my part, and I have never been able to permanently sustain it – the cravings have remained, and I have always eventually ‘given in’. This has been the case for me with alcohol, smoking, chocolate, sweets etc. etc. The only way I have been able to truly and permanently let these things go (which I have done now, as well as with many other past habits/indulgences) has been to take responsibility for the emotions/feelings that were driving the need for these things in the first place; to allow myself to fully feel it all; and then to release and discard these emotional issues by expressing them – when appropriate, with the people around me in my life; otherwise, just to myself or to close confidants. When I started doing this, each vice simply faded away, and the cravings for them vanished overnight. Quite spectacular, and an important lesson for anyone who has nominated that they no longer want a self-abusive pattern in their life and is willing and open to doing something about it. It takes responsibility and honesty to admit what and how you feel, but the end result – in terms of the quality of life it allows for – is well worth it.
Beautiful Cherise. Amazing wisdom comes from listening to our bodies!
You are absolutely amazing Cherise for expressing all of you.
Cherise the crucial key as to why is such a important point. If we don’t dig deeper we forever stay on the surface which usually leads to a feeling of lack and not being good enough as we continue to fail. Digging deeper to find the why can create much strength as we then choose to do things out of love for ourselves and not for others.
Great blog Cherise, on a subject that holds so much for so many. But how glorious is it, when you have a moment where you want to reach for some food that is not supportive for your loving body, and you stop and call it out with yourself, and then connect into the truth of you, and feel how lovely you so naturally are. You simply can’t make that choice to eat that food. We are so amazing, aren’t we?
We sure are Julie!
Lovely Julie, a simply beautiful way to not indulge in comfort.
Beautiful said Esther.
‘When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.’ I love this, it is a beautiful reminder to stop and not reach for the biscuit or food I feel driven to eat but instead to turn my attention towards myself, ever so lovingly, and do whatever it takes to bring me back to express in my fullness.
Well said Esther: the craving for sweet, creamy things is in truth the longing for the sweet, silky me – much more fulfilling too!
“….there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.” Oooh how yummy is that?
Dear Cherise, I love how honest you are about your relationship with food and how it would provide you with comfort when not dealing with something. Everywhere you look today there are food programs popping up, a lot of them with the word “comfort” in them – I love that, without even knowing it, we are being honest about our relationship with certain foods as we call them “comfort” foods, such as biscuits, chocolates, deserts, rich and creamy sauces… all designed to make us forgot just for a moment that which upsets us, but that is all they do, distract us for a moment, only to add the further complication of putting on weight, leaving us wanting more, feeling ill and or bad about ourselves for giving in and etc. Such a vicious circle.
Thank you Cherise for sharing your new way without eating biscuits and what really lies underneath the urge to eat when we are not hungry.
“But what I now deeply know to be true is that I am amazing and I am enough, by simply being myself. I know this always, but sometimes the old beliefs and patterns of behaviour come along and I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.”
“When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.” I love this and I’m going to keep this comment close when I’m buckling and reaching for the comfort of potato chips.
Thanks Cherise for having the courage to ask before you ate the biscuit why you still wanted it, thank you for then taking the time to share it here.
Pretty cool Cherise, I would love to explore more each food that I am eating that does not feel good in my body and see if I want the food the more I am in touch with feeling my self and my amazingness.
Thanks Cherise for exposing the ills of comfort foods and the importance of getting to the root issue as to why we consume them.
Hi Cherise,
Interesting to ponder on what else do we do that is considered normal like eating biscuits. Things we reach for at the end of a days work for a little reward for ‘working hard’ and never stop to consider that we are simply comforting ourselves. How much more awesome to live connected to who we truly are and feel that amazing love. Why on earth would you need a biscuit!
I agree Judy, we only need a reward at the end of the day when we haven’t stopped, and lost the connection to ourselves during the day. Otherwise it does not make sense – if I live life full of me I don’t need a reward … then food becomes second best because it is awesome to feel me.
I love this Judy, what else do we use indeed? We can use so many thoughts to race us up or dull ourselves down or distract us from feeling and or seeing what is really going on either around us or within. I am finding that it is my consistency and commitment to my presence with me that allows me the space stop and feel before I choose something or to stop as I realise feeling a lack of presence does not feel like me. And from here I have a platform to make supportive choices as best I can.
It is how we have been living up to that point what defines if we choose to have a reward or not. When I have lived and expressed in full I never need a reward, when I have held back on giving expression to what I felt then I always am in a need for a reward afterwards. In both occasions the reward confirms where I am at, either in my fullness or not.
Judy my son reached for an ice cream the other day, declaring that he deserved one for doing the washing up. I remember as a teenager myself eating my way through the kitchen as a way to put off studying. It is something that comes in pretty early and by the time we’re adults we are often embroiled in the business of little pick ups, soothers and comforters. Strung together these things actually make up our lives. The antidote is not to separate from the amazing way we feel from very young and then we would not want to do anything that lessens that incredible innateness.
It has been interesting to observe the way in which that separation occurred when I was young Alexis, from knowing my grandness and then choosing to hide it away! Food then became nothing more than a tool to not feel the fact that I not only knew my grandness inside out, I had an awareness and a knowingness about me that was absolute. So all those years placing my focus on the ‘issue of food’ was a set up as the real reason I ate was to not feel and to harm/punish myself for the amazingness I knew I had shut down from feeling.
When you are THIS amazing, it takes a lot of energy to push it away! a lot of heavy energy and that’s why I would often choose the heaviest foods to make it happen.
I am so deeply, graciously, profoundly appreciative for the support of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for supporting me to ‘stop the game’, heal my hurts and once again allow my true Amazingess to rein forth.
Hi Cherise. Our behaviour around food is so interesting. I have noticed that even though I may no longer eat biscuits (and I did eat a lot!), my focus may change to a different kind of food, but what is driving me to eat whatever that food is, is exactly the same as when I was eating the biscuits. I guess I could say is that whether be nuts or blueberries it’s still having the same effect on my body because that driving factor has not changed. I am noticing a correlation between this pattern and not expressing what I am feeling or not wanting to – so the food comes in at the most convenient time for me to pre-occupy myself with, then dull myself. Very much a work in progress and something that needs a great deal of love and tender care from myself.
I agree Jen, I have experienced the same. Even having changed my diet completely I still used now healthy food like nuts, fruits, corn crackers to numb or reward. So I didn’t change the energy of the impulse to eat. That’s why it is not a loving support for my body. This is an old ingrained way I have lived, not to deal with my hurts and especially the hurt of giving myself up. This is transforming now as I have experienced how it feels if I commit and choose to hold the connection to myself as my priority instead of having my priority and focus what next to eat.
Aaah Cherise, the sweetness in the truth of your words. There are many of us who have been caught in this cycle which only halts itself when we take the responsibility and delve deeper. Then the choices flow easily and the temptations are no longer. Thank you for your honesty.
Arrr..biscuits seem to be my weakness.. Thanks for sharing your story, it’s inspiring. I have tried the will power thing and anything but looking why I want them..strangely enough I actually feel like biscuits when I’m actually feeling good and feel like I have live the day with purpose. It’s almost like a freak out reaction. Oh wow I’m feeling very good…better have a biscuit to bring me back down and make me feel tired. How crazy!
I know that one too Rebekah, almost as there is a belief kicking in I am not allowed to feel good or joyful-which is important to renounce!
Hi Cherise,
Reading this reminded me of when I was an agency nurse going to many different hospitals, often only for a day or 2 each time. On the nurses station or in their break room there were always biscuits, I used to ‘pig out’ on them and then feel ghastly afterwards. I realise now that I was using those biscuits as a way of trying to not to feel the anxiousness and the insecurity I was in around interacting with new patients and unknown staff all the time. Not to mention the whirlwind I was in going to work at all these different hospitals, which also stopped me from feeling how sad and disappointed I was about where I had come to in my life. Hard to believe it was my life once.
Now my choices are super loving and like you biscuits are not even thought about or reached for. To feel lovely from within and appreciate and celebrate that takes away the desire and craving. You are a very beautiful woman made even more so by the loving responsibility you have taken in your current and ongoing choices.
Our choices around food expose our level of self responsibility, self awareness and self love. Thank you for sharing your insights Cherise, I am inspired to deepen my level of commitment in responding to what my body needs in relation to food.
Recently I also had a look at the biscuit thing – as I used to love a herbal tea and biscuit at night… And although the biscuits were gluten and dairy free, they still had the sugar. And then I became aware of how incredibly sweet they were, and that I didn’t really like them anymore. I also realised the biscuit was a means of comfort too, when I was feeling a bit low. So now I have stopped that, and it feels ok to focus on connecting to me and allowing myself to feel what is going on within instead. Thank you for your sharing Cherise, it’s a great blog and very inspiring,
I can definitely relate to this story Cherise. Thank you for sharing.
Cherise, I can so relate to what you have shared. Craving foods to numb and protect is something that still comes up at different times, depending on some situations. So to read you beautiful blog has just reminded me that it is ok, come back to me when I can and love the process of unfolding, without judgement.
Thank you for sharing Cherise. The first thing I did when I read the heading of your blog was get out of the chair and search for a biscuit! Some resistance there! It took a few minutes to reconnect with myself and come back to the computer to read your blog. Thank you for the inspiration and I love your last sentence ‘there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me’. Beautiful.
How could a biscuit with it’s fleeting offering of pleasure that lasts no more than a few seconds be greater or more tempting than the loveliness of you Cherise?! That’s what we tend to forget and why we reach for the biscuit or chocolate cake when we know that afterwards we’ll be walking about like we’ve got a truck in our bellies and want to fall asleep at our desks at work… But as you express here Cherise, a strong-willed discipline of saying ‘no’ without looking very lovingly into why we reach out for foods we know aren’t good for us, doesn’t cut it. It’s only by being lovingly honest that we start to recognise what’s driving our behaviour and that when we’re reaching out for that delicious biscuit it might just be that what we’re actually missing is feeling the deliciousness within ourselves fist. When we feel amazing and delicious in our own bodies, no biscuit or cream cake can come anywhere near that feeling.
Cherise I recognise myself in your blog. The immense sadness I carry with me and the thinking of not being enough as I am propel me towards crunchy things which my body does not require. Universal Medicine has veered me off to a certain extent but I still fall prey from time to time so it is great to read so many experiences and the ultimate liberation of living in harmony with ourselves.
Give me strength with the biscuits! Thanks Cherise for the reminder. I know exactly what’s going on when I reach for my ‘healthy’, nut cookie sweetened with just a dash of maple syrup. It’s taken many years to acknowledge that it’s not the cookie that I want, it’s the comfort that has me forget I feel sad for a minute as I distract myself with the flavour and sensation of eating something crunchy/soft/chewy. I amaze myself everytime I go for any kind of food, even when I’m not hungry…I always always use it as a distraction from feeling whatever it is that’s coming up for me.
I can feel this too Cherise, that I need to eat certain foods to bring comfort to my body when I want to not feel the deeply felt hurts caused by not choosing to live and celebrate the amazingness of my life. Thank you for making this point clear for me.
Cherise, your writing shares with me how the ‘quick fix’ just does not work. The ‘quick fix’ to relieve something by eating the biscuit or the ‘quick fix’ to just say no to them – nothing of them are truly lasting. And whilst it can seem more ‘cumbersome’ to actually sit and be with yourself to ask yourself those questions – why am I eating them, what’s really going on? (and to also seek support as well)….it frees us up in the longer term where we can actually enjoy just being the amazing human beings that we all are. And I agree with Rachael Evans- your writing is super tender and expressive.
I know this feeling of protection, when I don´t wanna feel how I was holding back ME and the following sadness.
How you crave certain foods is worth observing and actually a great marker where you are at.
Cherise, you have an amazing way of letting us into your self love discoveries through your tender and expressive writing. I too have been a ‘biscuit/cake junkie’ at work, with a fridge stocked high with Tim Tams I would allow myself to have one and not be able to stop until they were gone! I tried the will power and control thing, as you say, it was love-less and I wasn’t addressing the WHY factor. Now I choose differently because I know the feeling is not worth the taste. The fridge is still stocked, there is birthday cakes regularly for staff, but now I choose me and it feel amazing.
Great post Cherise. You hit the nail on the head. Damn, my excuses to eat biscuits are gone and I’ll have to start looking at me.
As soon I read about the magically refilling plate of biscuits I thought of nursing, and how there are always chocolates, cakes etc in most nursing tea rooms! We rely so much on those seer treats to get us through the day and yet as you say they leave you feeling much worse off. I have also found that will power does not work and resolutions at best delay the return to a way of coping in life. Giving up any unhealthy/addictive food really can only come when we feel full enough to not need it any longer. Being honest, responsible and super tender and loving with ourselves is definitely the key.
Thank you Cherise. So true that holding ourselves back hurts a lot, and we tend to seek comfort and protection from this feeling with certain foods. Wanting to be fully met or seen also does the same for me. And it is amazing to come to the awareness of the underlying reasons of why we choose certain foods, because then we can make a true change in lifestyle.
Cherise this part of your blog is revelatory to me. ‘old beliefs and patterns of behaviour come along and I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.’
I’m really contemplating and really feeling how there is nothing wrong with me like you say, there is just me holding myself back. That puts my whole life upside down. All this time and still I can do this trying to be something when all I need to do is be myself. Could life be that simple?
Wow, thank you for this because I know the will power way of giving up old habits around food does not work for me.
Great sharing Cherise and I agree with it doesn’t really matter what the food is that is being eaten because what is important, I have realised, is to look at why I am choosing to eat something particularly when I am not feeling hungry but something else is going on to drive my choice. Thank you for the insights.
A lovely blog to share, so many would have experienced the plates of biscuits or cakes at work, I know my old work place often had a plate there waiting and it would often give many an excuse to get a sugar fix at 3pm and have a long chat and a cup of tea. I also went for those cakes, I was often tired in the afternoon, a bit worn out by my day and I felt ready for a reprieve…of sorts. I remember turning this around at work and stopped eating the cakes and biscuits, I did it because I felt awful after them, as I slowly began to say no, I started to feel much better. More healthy and more free.
Cherise this is such a great sharing, so simply from a biscuit to so much about ourselves and our feelings to not feel what has hurt us or simply to not feel our amazingness either. All hidden under a so called treat or reward for ourselves, when we are really making matters worse. These are patterns I know only well with sweets and sugar rather than buiscuits but its all the same! Thank you for this honest sharing exposing the real reasons and a great reflection.
So many people love and are hooked on that sweet sugary nibble we call biscuits. I once was too until I cut out all sugar from my diet, and as you mentioned, the first place to start is why you want the biscuits in the first place. The understanding you bring is key which i feel will help many people who wish to make healthier food choices.
“our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full” What a great truth this is.
There is an amazing depth to those “cheeky biscuits”…one I am learning to recognise right now. It’s around abuse of self, as even though you don’t need them, want them even, you still reach for them because you are looking for ways to shut your self down, shut out the chaos and take the biscuit because once it’s in you, the noise in your head stops and you can enjoy the sugary ride. Just knowing that highlights how un-loving that way of eating is. It’s great to read your experience Cherise and once again be reminded, we are not alone.
This is the key Cherise: “there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me”. If this was on the cover of every diet book, and more focus was put on deepening our relationships with how amazing we truly are – then there would certainly be a difference in how we approached food, there would be less self bashing, and possibly less ‘yo-yo’ dieting. Thank you
So true Jessica, you’ll put the diet industry out of business!
The food we eat is simply a reflection of the choices we have made, which determines how we live and then feel, which in turn affects our choices! So as Cherise says it starts with us taking responsibility for ourselves, being honest and making loving choices.
At times I have felt like a bottomless pit where no matter how much I eat I can’t cover up whatever I am trying to not feel for good, it always comes back up to the surface. This shows me that this doesn’t work. I can really relate to no matter what the food is, be it nuts, sweets, olives or even seconds of a meal or a meal when I have not felt hungry but have made it anyway, it can all be used to cover up something I don’t want to feel in that moment. Many times after work I have felt an urge to just eat something regardless if I am actually hungry or not. I would say that my emotions are more a cause of my ‘hunger’ or ‘cravings’ more than a true call from my body for food.
Cherise. Isn’t it interesting how we all make resolutions, that we never keep, and have been doing so for many years. Maybe we need to stick just to one resolution, what ever it may be, and simply be strong in our commitment to ourselves.
I never smoked or drank alcohol, but my ‘achilles heel’ was always biscuits and all things sugary. Like you Cherise I also felt “physically bloated and sluggish as I returned to work, or my body would be buzzing from the sugar while I blamed myself for displaying a lack of self-control.” I am also able to understand the real reasons behind my biscuit eating and the comfort to my emotions I was seeking. By connecting to the loveliness inside you are right when you say, “there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.”
I was remembering back to this article recently as I started to have some food “cravings” again, for me this was about eating too many nuts. I notice that I can either have a few nuts not really wanting more or gobble down a whole packet before I know it. So as the article says, its time to look at what is the underlying issue. It’s interesting that I’m exploring feeling it’s enough just being me and what gets in the way of that – it’s not something that I am used to accepting. Perhaps overeating nuts or any food plays a part in there.
I can relate to the comfort eating and the many ways in which I use food to numb myself from what I do not want to feel. Lately I have noticed that when I am tender and choosing to be present my eating for the sake of eating is drastically reduced – it’s as though I do not need it.
I have got to the point where sugar in any form quickly gives me a headache, so it is easy to avoid sweet things but just the other day, I have started to notice too many nuts also gives me a thick head and I start to feel unwell. The trick is for me to not override the signs my body is presenting to me – this is ongoing and a work in progress.
Julie and Kevin as Christmas approaches and the useful gadgets seem to proliferate I wonder what a ‘latest must have’ company would make of a gadget which could tell you what is appropriate for you to eat…..it’s just that as you express we already have this if only we listened!!!
Isn’t it interesting how we choose to eat foods we know are not good for us. Many food companies often market foods that have the most addictive balance of sugar and or salt to make more money from their products… Imagine if food companies made food with the purpose to nourish our bodies.
What is interesting too is that the demand from us as consumers is there for such food. I recall craving sugar coated macadamias because I knew they would be a balance of racing me up and dulling me down, when I didn’t want to be too racey or too dull! But I knew I wanted both to not be aware of something at the time.
It’s also interesting to contemplate on the food choices of those people behind the businesses, they are profiting on the food choices we are all making but are most likely living no differently themselves.
I agree Sue, a great article offering truth and inspiration.
Up until early this year if I was feeling a bit down or needed a pick me up I would go for a can of coke. This would have the desired effect, I’d be racing like a Formula one car. I attended a wedding in Bali and got tired of drinking water and they had run out of fruit juice so I had a number of cokes which needless to say kept me up well past my bedtime. Through all this sugar,sometime during the trip I was able to pick up athletes foot probably in the hotels pool showers. From then till now whenever I have the hint of too much sugar the dreaded fungi returns but now it doesn’t take a can of coke, it only takes one apple more than I need. Unlike the past, I have heeded this warning and listened to what my body is screaming at me.
Hi Cherise I love the inspiration to be me in the world your blog inspires. I am admitting how i consciously hide from people and use food to comfort myself in this very destructive habit of holding myself, my love back. I also realise that hiding in food means I distract myself from putting effort into my most important relationship: the relationship with myself. Admitting how harming this is is taking courage as I feel there is still greater awareness of this to come. However, with this comes a sense of self-acceptance and allowing myself to reveal more of myself to myself. I can really appreciate how being tender, honest but not hard on myself, can eliminate any cravings to comfort eat.
I can attest to ‘white knuckling’ it doesn’t work and consumes so much energy until the inevitable reach for the food. Knowing this will power approach doesn’t work has also meant for me, why bother with it at all!! It is deeply caring for myself and facing the things I’d rather not admit, getting support if i don’t feel i can do it alone, is the way to go. I know I’m becoming less able to deny who I am and so why bother with trying to bury myself in comfort eating or whatever it is I can use at the time?
I have also realised that with all the comfort eating, the pain is known to always be there no matter how much i try to numb it out. I am beginning to accept that I might as well deal with the issues that come up when they come up and not try to bury them because i know they’ll arise to the surface sooner or later or they’ll come out in the body via some painful means.
To be me in full means I have to let go of what isn’t me, like hurts and fears, so my logic is I feel I have to feel them at some point why delay? I am feeling the more i deal with the issues that i fear will overwhelm me the more I discover they don’t and I’m able to face things, especially if I am wise enough to acknowledge sometimes I need some support.
Beautiful what the every day things can show us. And further to that, allowing ourselves to understand that choices and behaviours tend to arise when we don’t want to see what’s going on.
I love the possibility that the quality of food we choose is the quality we exude in our day.
Ooh great point Hannah the quality of food we choose is the quality we exude in our day. Some times I’m overdoing it on the nuts…and other times I am fine dining.
A gorgeous article Cherise that takes this important issue deeper, why we have continued to crave comfort foods, what is really going on. What do we not want to feel?
I can definitely relate to feeling this, ‘ that I am amazing and I am enough, by simply being myself. I know this always, but sometimes the old beliefs and patterns of behaviour come along and I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.’ Which brings it back to choosing to be myself in full all the time.
Hi Cherise, what an inspiring blog. No comfort in the world can compare to the amazingness that we are. I know I use comfort to take me away from something I don’t want to accept but by doing so I take myself away from the amazingness of who I am which is a greater hurt. When I see the world around me doing the same and thereby making it common place or normal, I get the message that whatever I am trying to avoid is greater than me. Your blog reminds me otherwise. Thank you.
I find I reach for comfort food when I am tired. But why am I tired? usually because I have been carrying out some task like an automaton overriding what my body it telling me. Then I fill myself up with comfort food to further suppress what it is showing me. Nasty, and certainly not loving for myself or anyone else. So what could I do instead? Pause and feel what my body really needs. A rest? hydration? a warm bath? a gentle walk? How beautiful that feels, many possibilities to choose from to support and nurture myself. Infinitely more loving than reaching for the biscuit tin!
I agree Joan, i still often lose myself in the activity and after a while this hurts deeply because I am no longer feeling me and then my usual way to continue is to reach for comfort food and to go on. But there is a different way – to choose to stop and feel and reconnect, to deepen the connection i have with myself and this will have an impact the way I do something the next time. And it is important that we are not hard on ourselves as I have used food for a very long time to override what I feel. This needs to be lovingly and steadily reimprinted.
Thank you for sharing what I have thought at times to be a subject too complicated to tackle. It all boils down to those three points.
Self-responsibility in feeling and listening to my body.
Self-honesty in maintaining an awareness of my body.
Self-love and feeling that I am enough just as I am, with nothing outside of me required.
Thank you Cherise for a beautifully written and lovely article. My body knows best and I feel that I have to listen to it more deeply. Being myself in full is all I need to be for myself and for humanity.
Hi Cherise, I’m reading the article again not only because of the picture but because I thought perhaps there was something more that I missed last time around! What has struck me is that whenever I feel something is not right and then want to stop feeling that I reach for some form of food to help me. A few hours later and for the next day I don’t feel so great. It’s a great reminder that you make that being “ourselves in full” is the greatest form of protection and something that is far stronger than what any food can provide. It will certainly help me consider why I seek out those things at certain times.
“Our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world”. Cherise, I am working on this very thing at the moment and it is so great to read your article and deepen my understanding of why I still want to reach for – whatever it is, thanks for sharing.
A very relevant article. Deny myself one food that I know is not good for me and another takes its place. Learning to look at what is underneath the craving for rewards and comfort gives me the opportunity to observe where I am not feeling enough within myself.
Cherise this is gorgeous what you’ve just shared here. We eat to hide a feeling we don’t want to feel but “the truth is that we feel it anyway! and we have a choice to be tender with ourselves at this time and not be haste in our next choice to cover it up.” Apart from the revelation it is such a useful reminder that, by allowing ourselves to consciously feel what is already being felt, and by revealing what it is we’re trying to side step, we give ourselves all that we need to say goodbye to the eating habits we know are not supporting our bodies.
Gorgeous reminder indeed, thank you Rosanna.
I agree Rosanna, however much we try to to hide it, the fact is we do feel everything that food does to our bodies. For quite some time now I have been feeling the comfort of eating nuts and the fact that I was eating too many. So I made a choice to reduce the quantity I eat and I have now got to the point where I have stopped. Its been three days now and the awesome thing is, I am still alive!! As you say Rosanna, by feeling what our body needs we then give ourselves permission to let go of the foods, or the quantity, we eat that does not truly support us.
I’m glad you’re still alive Tim! I love what you are sharing, that it is not about the food specifically or even the quantity of the food that we eat, but it is about what our bodies are feeling for support. From here our food choices become more about the quality that we are choosing to feel in our bodies, and then this quality that magnifies throughout our day.
I am discovering more and more that my body feels best supported when I don’t over eat and I am still alive too!
Thank you Cherise, I used to eat biscuits and crisps but have found that I have just replaced them with almonds; especially at work. It is becoming clearer to me how I use food to stuff down feelings or to stop feeling amazing.
Dear Cherise, 15 years ago it was the biscuits I was fighting off, then the sugar/lactose free-guilt free desert, then the gluten/chocolate/lactose free desert… It would never stop, always looking for something to nibble on! Until I realized no matter what sugar could be replaced with a low GI sugar, it would still be addictive. More than that is I realised that I was eating to not truly nourish my body but instead eating these treats as a distraction and a way to avoid my feelings. Last year I had given up most of these treats that I used, but then just used something I usually perceived was healthy like corn thin crackers with hummus as a treat. It is a consistent never ending program, always asking myself (with what ever food I am eating really) what food does what and why do I do it!
Thank you for sharing Alexandre, as I agree! It is a constant refinement for me too, what I choose to eat and what have I been using to ‘dull my-amazing-self down’ just a little.. It was never about being done with biscuits, but finding my own understanding as to when (and why) I reached for them, and I have the opportunity to bring this same awareness to each time I reach for any food or drink.
I am finding that my communication with myself is a continual thing, and has no end-point to the depth that I can go to with myself, and as I am more accepting that it is continual I am finding that I am more open to making new choices and allowing what feels right within my choices.
I love your expression Cherise. The way I eat is a constant refinement for me too. A never ending development , contantly listening to my body and where I am at. The more I claim myself, the more numbing food I drop.
Beautifully simple and clear Cherise. I can totally relate to the apparent struggle or acts of self denial I have had with food. It feels like by the time I am searching or looking for a ‘comfort’ food it is already too late and whether I eat it or not at that point is almost irrelevant as the damage is already done, so to speak, by my intention to comfort the hurt of me choosing to not be me.
Hi Andrew, ‘the damage is already done’ – there’s always a part of me that knows I need to re-connect with me first but somehow the craving for food takes over and dis-connects me further and the cycle goes on. When I truly appreciate who I am the craving isn’t there so I realise I’ve been approaching it from a position of ‘trying not to eat’ rather than starting with being truly self nurturing.
Thank you for expanding on this Andrew and Carmel, as I would agree with you both. I feel that there comes a point where that knowing to re-connect becomes more weighted, and far outweighs the disregarding choice to put a food (that doesn’t agree with you) in your mouth – something that I am pondering on and aware of more for myself.
I also agree that the ‘damage is already done’ prior to eating as you say, it’s a circle of feeling not quite our (amazing) selves or from feeling something that hurts – that we would prefer to not feel. But the truth is that we feel it anyway! and we have a choice to be tender with ourselves at this time and not be haste in our next choice to cover it up. I have noted for myself, that the cover up with food, only served to delay my awareness a little bit longer and I would eventually feel it at some point – but when I allow myself to feel whatever has happened I actually want to be even more tender with me, a tenderness that a biscuit could never bring.
Brilliantly expressed, Cherise. A great three point plan: self-responsibility, self-honesty and self-love – as a way of breaking through the protection and comfort cycle we can so often adopt with food. The three together can provide a real understanding of our relationship with food – why, how and when we reach for it. I love the line “our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world.” A great call to accept and just be who we are.
An inspiring read Cherise, simple and honest on many levels, and it is beautifully written, thank you
Sugar is so addictive and we give children a ‘sweet’ to reward them for being good. So from a very young age we associate the recognition that we get from our parents is rewarded by sugar. We carry this through by rewarding ourselves with something sweet as we think we are being kind to ourselves by offering ourself a reward for being good or we need comforting to cheer us up. It is such a welcome relief to start to understand what leads to the craving for sugar.
Totally Mary you can really see the set up to stop us from connecting to the amazingness within.
Hi Cherise, I can totally relate with the relationship with food that you have described. I have had very similar experiences with certain foods, and also found that the more I tenderly care for myself, the less willing I am to eat what makes me feel bloated, racey or lethargic. Thank you for your article, I really enjoyed it.
I love your article and honesty and what you have shared here “I knew I hadn’t dealt with why I wanted the biscuits in the first place and without this critical key, how could I choose whether I really felt to eat them or not?” is huge. This is precisely what we need to look at first and it takes a lot of honesty to be able to look at this.
What a gorgeous article, light and spacious yet full of wisdom. Thank you Cherise.
Awesome blog Cherise. I have personally been going through a similar journey at my place of work and when I get the urge I now regularly find myself taking a moment out from behind my desk and enjoying a pondering stroll, it makes me feel so much lighter. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Thank you Cherise for sharing so beautifully that what Otto calls “white knuckling” does not work. Cheese used to be my downfall and I believed I would not be able to stop indulging in it. However, after making the decision and commitment to maintain the re-connection with “the amazing feeling of being me” following a healing session with Serge Benhayon (and not even a mention of any cheese!) somehow the desire and need for cheese completely fell away. And when I decided to taste some cheese, after not eating any for 6 weeks, I found it so disgusting I had to spit it out and I have not had any since then and will not again.
Awesome, thank you for sharing Jonathan. I have recently had a similar situation with eating pecan and macadamia nuts, they were a definite comfort (soft) food for me that I would use to feel a bit more comfortable and protected in my body. I noted that after a couple of weeks, I hadn’t bought any or felt the need to eat any but when I did again have some – they didn’t taste good to me at all! I actually wondered what I ever saw in them.
It was a great reminder to me that what is nourishing for and truly supportive for my body is actually always evolving and so individual to my own body and all I need to do is listen to what my body is asking to eat. When I do this my body would much rather foods that confirm how open and beautiful I can feel as opposed to heavy or protected.
Thanks Cherise. A Beautiful explanation of why “white knuckling” it doesn’t work. (That’s what I’ve always called it – when you are holding on so tightly that your knuckles turn white.). In truth even if you had managed to give up biscuits for more than a month, even forever, that isn’t the point as you have so clearly explained. It’s only when you deal with the “why”, that the pattern can truly be arrested and I adore the line “there isn’t a biscuit in the world that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.” That is so powerful. There are definitely still foods for me for which I couldn’t say the same. So you have inspired me to go even deeper. Thank you Cherise.
I agree Otto that although I may have given up biscuits there are definitely still foods that I use in the same way and thank you Cherise for setting out so clearly what is going on underneath and what happens when ‘old beliefs and patterns of behaviour come along and I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.’
I feel inspired to look at the ways that I still hold myself back and the impact this has on my body.
Otto, “White Knuckling” is a great description of holding on to something, being it food or otherwise.
Beating one’s self up to release those knuckles, at times can be a real battle, but eventually overcome temptation, and let go.
Hi Cherise, thanks for sharing this – having read this article I feel inspired to look into more depth at my own food-related patterns that help to hold me back from being the real me in the world. I found in my own experiences that when I don’t hold back and just be the natural me with the world – there’s definitely not a biscuit in the universe that can tempt me away from that amazing feeling.
One of my sneaky habits is to restrict myself to just half of something such as an apple, only a little time later to ‘reward’ myself by eating the other half!!!
So thank you Cherise, and all the other contributors, time to look and feel a little (or a lot) deeper!
It just goes to show that our fantasies about food and other things is not good for our body. The body will tell us and we need to know what is truly good in this world and what is not and our only saviour is our body, the marker of our truth.
This is fantastic – looking that little bit deeper as to why we have eating issues.. that really we are checking out and not wanting to feel the truth of what is going. Ok, so what are we going to do? Look deeper or indulge?
I loved this blog and can really relate to it as cake and biscuits were my 1st default food. But as you say it is what is really going on underneath that needs to be looked at. You have expressed so beautifully. Thank you.
What a great blog Cherise, it is all too easy to use food as a way to not deal or feel stuff, and as you so rightly share it is not simply about just sweet food, this can come in all sorts of shapes, forms and disguises and from food we would even say is healthy for us. Without giving ourselves a hard time as so many people do by punishing themselves or setting goals and rules, that when are broken, can come a cycle of more emotional eating – we can allow ourselves a moment to stop and feel what it is that is really making us want to eat food in this way. And as others have so rightly shared it is definitely time for society to stop and address the deeper underlying issue of why we abuse food and ourselves in so many ways.
That’s beautiful Cherise Holt, I can relate very much to your story. When I’m feeling my loveliness and tenderness there is also no way I would eat anything that I know is going to put me down/dampen this feeling.
Thank you for a great reminder as to why we may think need those so called “treats”. Instead of just dieting or detoxing we need to understand the deeper underlying issues that make us eat things that do not support us in the first place. Only when we deal with the patterns and momentums that we use every day to stop feeling who we are, do we start to heal the issues that cause us to crave, overeat and generally abuse ourselves through food. Unfortunately self abuse with food is so very rife in society it is seen as the norm. This way of thinking needs to change as our health statistics are so desperately trying to show us.
I agree with what you say Samantha, our approach to, and understanding of the food we eat, desperately needs to change.
I completely agree Samantha, we need to understand the depth of why we do what we do with food.
I agree. When we think we deserve a ‘treat’, although we know that treat will not make us feel great, we have to pause and ask why?
It’s so true that almost all resolutions like the ones we make at New Years’, are ruled by hardness and criticism, and last a few days, or a few months at best. But you have really simply exposed that it is dealing with the war that is underneath our unwanted behaviour that will change it, thank you.
I love reading this blog and how it exposes it is not as simple as saying “I’m not having …. anymore”. I find it fascinating that my choices in food are an outer marker for what is going on inside and as my responsibility to myself and others has grown, I have the opportunity to ask why do I want this now? Thank you Cherise.
Well said Julie. Any change of behaviour is not a simple as saying ‘I’m not…. anymore’ but rather a commitment to unraveling the pattern of why you ‘do want’ something or need it in the first place.
This beautifully confirmed something that has been coming up for me recently, which is summed up when you speak about using foods to cover up the feeling of not being enough. That really hit home for me, and was something that I had not let myself feel fully.
Thank you for this revelation.
Me too Naren, reading through the comments it is so helpful to hear again and again that it is about hiding from myself, from my own sadness, my own negative and punishing thoughts about myself and my own avoidance of what my body is really telling me, that makes me reach for the comfort of any food. I know this but sometimes I do not choose it for myself for long periods of time. When I do, I change, my body changes and the world around me changes, I feel lighter, fuller, no negative thoughts and no desire for comfort. As you say Cherise, it is about self responsibility, self honesty and self-love. Every day is a new beginning when we can choose to step off the “merry-go-round”, (not in the least bit merry), but we cannot do it without that deep level of honesty that I so often avoid.
So beautifully honest Joan.
Absolutely Ariana. The sentence you have highlighted has stayed with me, and has given me new inspiration. If we allow ourselves to be our full and glorious selves then we have no need or no want to snack. If I find myself reaching for the nuts I will remind myself I have an opportunity to be more of me instead!
A truly inspiring blog, beautifully written.
Awesome Cherise – I too am a ‘biscuit lover’ – yet my body doesn’t love them one bit!! I get the racy buzzy head with all the sugar too. Your blog has inspired me to go deeper to address the root cause of my biscuit consuming behaviours and yes to feel the sadness of not living what I know to be true and to bring a deeper appreciation to myself for myself. I can still feel how I hold myself in the critique of not good enough etc and how this squashes my ability to truly appreciate myself – and feeds the biscuit consuming cycle – that feeds the condemning critique and so round and round we go!! Crazy really! Thank you for sharing and perhaps I’ll be able to provide an update on how it’s going stopping my own biscuit eating behaviours!
Hey Eunice, thanks for sharing that… I know the pattern well of going round and round repeating the same thing. There is a famous quote that it is utter madness to keep repeating something over and over and expect a different result. The blog provides a great insight to the real reason and a great opportunity.
Thanks for this confirming article. Sugar, or foods and drinks with it in is the last thing on a long list of things I have let go, and like Carmel I too am learning to not override what my body is telling me.
I agree Kevin, what a great article and how easy it is to override my body and to go for those comforting foods!
I stopped eating refined sugar several years ago, followed by cutting out carbs like potatoes and rice, and eventually cut back drastically on fruit, but all I was doing was replacing one sugar with another. Looking at why was I so exhausted that I needed something sweet and stimulating, I realised it was the way I was being at work, at home, everywhere. Despite my best intentions to be self-loving, I was still being hard on myself, beating myself up for ‘not being good enough’ and it was draining my energy. Learning to let go of that and appreciate myself in full is a ‘work-in’progress’. I am learning to listen to my body and not override what it is telling me, and that includes eating only foods that nourish me.
Carmel, I am starting to recognise and feel just how draining it is on my energy when I go into beating myself up or doubting myself. My recent antidote to when I feel an energy drain is to appreciate how amazing I am. I love how you highlight how we replace one sugar with another.
I can so relate to being hard on myself and how draining of my energy this is. When I am able to let go of this and appreciate myself in full I make more self-loving choices including the food I consume.
Thank you Helen I can never hear this enough – don’t be hard on yourself – appreciate yourself in full and you make more self-loving choices. This should be a sticker that goes on the fridge.
Thank you Cherise for your beautiful blog which gets underneath our addictive habits, to the more fundamental consideration of our relationship with ourselves. I appreciate your questioning, Carmel, about why we are exhausted, about what self-judgement we still have that depletes us and makes us crave food, and asking the body what will be supportive and nourishing for it.
Hi Janet, I’ve just found another big exhaustion cause this week – comparison and guilt – I am in a job where there is a lot to be done in a day – the same tasks every day, but you can’t afford to hang about or you get behind and I am slower than my more experienced colleagues (comparison) so they end up doing some of my jobs. I’ve worked hard all day but feel guilty that I’m slow. I’ve also noticed that one reason I am slow is that I get distracted, or forget what I’m doing. This has led to an underlying anxiousness about my poor memory and the possible onset of Alzheimer’s. So there is plenty of self-judgement going on but having said that . . . what I did notice today was how tenderly I handed people their cakes, how inspired I was by some of the beautiful smiles we exchanged, and how aware I was of what was going on. So, when I got back home, still exhausted, cooked a nourishing meal instead of the quick option and pondered . . . So now I’m working on appreciation of who I am and less judgement of what I’m not.
Great awarenesses Carmel, and I love how you are turning that around to notice more when you are being amazing. I too am finding learning to appreciate myself is on going, but well worth it.
Carmel that was a revealing command – it is good to know that being hard on oneself or that beating oneself up for ‘not being good enough’ is something what is draining our energy. This has to be printed on the outside of all packages of sweet things . . . like “attention your are beating yourself up”
Or, ‘warning: have you confirmed with your body that this food represents the love that you are?’
Or how about. ‘Remember: you are love” .. It seems that this is the reminder we require most of the time when we go to be hard on ourselves, we forget that the essence of who we are does not ever alter and yet the choices we make or the behaviours we choose may not always be in line with this fact. Something for everybody to learn.
Cherise, I have often been amazed at how easy it is to let go of something – whatever it is, when you get to the underlying cause of what you are doing. I found that with drinking & coffee, once I was honest with how my body felt when I had them and then what was it that I was avoiding feeling, the desire was gone. I can honestly say I have never wanted them again, not even a twinge. Sugar is another story and one I am working on, I am having it in overt ways but I definitely get to the end of a day and WANT something, so from reading your blog I can ponder more deeply what’s going on, thanks for the inspiration!
So true Vanessa. In the past 4 weeks I have changed my diet and am so enjoying when I eat deliciously, lovingly prepared fresh and vital food. Every now and then though, my sugar cravings pop up. Sometimes I give in, other times I feel into it and mostly what is revealed is a deep inner anger and wish to punish and abuse myself to keep myself small. I am now accepting that it is all a choice… indulgence and ensuing misery or my lovely self.
Michelle I like what you have shared, I can relate to what you are saying about punishing and abusing the self to keep small.
I agree Vanessa, I have found letting go of everything has been fairly easy except sugar, now only in the form of an apple or a date. Why? Could it be that things like coffee and alcohol were introduced to my body at a later age, while sugar has been with me from very early on? As you say its certainly something to ponder on.
Hi Vanessa, I would love to hear how you are going with sugar in this similar instance. I have found that when I don’t want to feel how ‘truly beautiful’ I really am, because I am not making the choices to live so, I reach for something that will numb my body or make it speed up and racy – it’s like a distraction tool – and sugar has always been the number one tool for me to call on. I have been able to feel the yo-yo up-and-down that this causes in my body though, when my natural way of being is to feel solid and steady.
Thank you Cherise. A great exposure of why we reach for those treats. A vicious cycle of numbing ourselves and holding back all that we are… Ouch!
I love this article, getting to the core of our food choices.
Hi Cherise. I love how you weave such amazing insights into simple everyday occurrences. I love how you have truly claimed and live your wisdom.
Amazing how connecting to the impulse of your choices takes away the need and then the desire to continue in that same ilk with little or no effort.
Thank you for sharing this, it has allowed me to reflect on my difficulty giving up potatoes. I can see that I hold myself back in being the full me. This is a great exposure for me to look at my relationship with self responsibility, self honesty and self love and create a true foundation.
Hi Amita, I just love that you have brought your awareness to potatoes – it’s interesting and so true that no matter what food it is – it doesn’t contend with the amazingness we are and can allow ourselves to be. It reminds me too that each food that we eat has the potential to confirm how lovely we are, and I know the difference when I feel lovely when I am actually eating, as opposed to eating to not feel how lovely I am.
Definitely Cherise, a great reminder,’ that each food that we eat has the potential to confirm how lovely we are, and I know the difference when I feel lovely when I am actually eating, as opposed to eating to not feel how lovely I am.’
Thank you all for discussing this important factor in our lives. Food can sustain us in the most amazing way if we listen to our body before giving in to the business of life, and go about feeding it out of necessity or cravings rather than love.
Wow Cherise beautifully expressed. I love it. Thank you.
Reading your article Cherise reminds me of how during my working life as a Radiographer, I relied on the endless supply of sweets, chocolates and biscuits that appeared in our staff room. I felt smug in the fact that because I did not have a weight issue I could indulge all I wanted to. Looking back now I can feel how it was the comforting qualities of these foods that I craved and not the actual foods themselves. Now I know when I have cravings it’s time to stop and take stock of what feelings or issues are bubbling up. A great blog, thank you Cherise.
“Now I know when I have cravings it’s time to stop and take stock of what feelings or issues are bubbling up”…… I know this one Elizabeth, it’s then just a matter of having the awareness to take full responsibility to self love or not, simple really! And, thank you Cherise for sharing. And yes, you are right, after sessions with Universal Medicine, I realise this is not the normal way to live, there is another way.
I know this one too, and it isn’t only biscuits, I’m beginning to recognise that certain foods have an addictive quality for me, and am gradually discovering what causes me to crave them.
Hi Cherise….. “When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me”…. so beautifully put and an amazing blog. Thank you.
This line really touched me too.
This line really resonates with me too. ‘The amazing feeling of being me’ or a biscuit? No contest!
Hi Chrise, I get 100% what you are saying… Having the courage to be in your fullness is hard or at least that’s the illusion anyway! Your blog encourages me to be me in my fullness so thank you.
Great story Cherise. Thanks for sharing it!
Hi Cherise I loved your blog because biscuits were always my weakness. I never really had to diet or really watch my weight so I thought I could nibble and graze my way through the day and think they were not doing me any harm, yet I was going to them for comfort or reward or to fill an empty space. I get what you mean how biscuits would miraculously appear, there always seem to be an endless supply.
Your comment Alison reminded me of how I loved dunking biscuits in tea when I was a child and even when I moved away from home it became a comfort and reward. Now I look at the ingredients in the packet of biscuits and wonder why they are so popular. I have more awareness about food generally now but possibly not what the reason is underneath the need to buy them. Great blog Cherise, food for thought!
I share a similar experience with you Alison- my weakness is biscuits or cake, and the fact that I am not overweight I thought I could get away with this habit. It certainly gives me an instant sugar hit or energy boost but this is short lived, and I feel racy. I realised that eating sweet treats were done for a reward, comfort and to fill the emptiness felt inside. Thankfully now I can be in the staff room with freshly baked scones or cake and I won’t feel tempted to eat any, because I know the harm that I will feel in my body if I do so. And I love feeling great/amazing just the way I am, so why dull myself for a few mouthfuls of enjoyment?
Hi Cherise, thank you for your beauty-full blog, I love the way you express. For me it was very healing to read it. I have been struggling with food all my life. When I was a teenager with dieting, trying to lose weight and to control how much I eat. But even the last 7 years where I have changed my diet very much and eat very healthy, I still could not let go of the way I used food to numb, for comfort, to escape. And I blamed myself very badly for overeating especially and not being able to honour what my body truly tells me and needs. But I used this struggle and conflict as a way to keep myself busy and seperated from myself and the world – not allowing myself to feel how awesome I am and to express me in full to the world. Now I have discovered how it feels to focus on being simply amazing me, in the tender, beauty-full way that I am. This is amazing. Thank you Cherise for your inspiration and for being you! Looking forward to see you again.
I think this has been true for many of us: ‘ But I used this struggle and conflict as a way to keep myself busy and separated from myself and the world – not allowing myself to feel how awesome I am and to express me in full to the world.’ A great reminder, thank you!
Wow Janina that is an extra realization: “But I used this struggle and conflict as a way to keep myself busy and seperated from myself and the world – not allowing myself to feel how awesome I am and to express me in full to the world.” Thank you for pointing this out even if this is a big Outch!!!
loving reading this thread as it is confirming the way forward is appreciation and allowing myself to be.
Janina, this is BIG – conflict with self as a distraction – thank you.
Lalajanina, you are very inspiring, thank you. I am continuing to learn that the self-honesty is key in exposing and covering the thoughts or needs I have about food, it’s concrete in me now that the ‘food’ is not the issue but the expanding acceptance of who I am. To be hard on myself about the food chosen or the way in which I ate it only ever keeps me a step further away from feeling the truth of what is happening.
Thanks Janina and Cherise, I am with you on:
“But I used this struggle and conflict as a way to keep myself busy and seperated from myself and the world – not allowing myself to feel how awesome I am and to express me in full to the world.” and
“I am continuing to learn that the self-honesty is key in exposing and covering the thoughts or needs I have about food, it’s concrete in me now that the ‘food’ is not the issue but the expanding acceptance of who I am. To be hard on myself about the food chosen or the way in which I ate it only ever keeps me a step further away from feeling the truth of what is happening.”
Not eating exactly the food that actually supports my body to be as light and spacious as it can be, is just a way to not feel what is there to feel. Lack of self-worth and not appreciating who I am are important key words here.
Great realisation Janina. This has given me a lot to ponder and feel I to.
Thank you Cherise, it is such a profound perception, that the willingness doesn’t help, if I am not honest to expose the why? what ever I eat, to distract myself from being simply the beautiful woman I am. And the importance of acceptance and self-love in that process of becoming pure. Great Point, lalajanina, to understand the struggle simply as another effective distraction.
Yes Stefanie, we hold on to hurts/ issues and therefore being open to an interfering energy which is fostering the struggle and we play along. We have to remember we are not our issues and as i just heard in an audio form Jean Gambel :” that we don’t have issues”. Very true once we take full responsibility for who we are and deal with everything which comes our way. And stop choosing comfort and clinging to our hurts.
Thank you Sue, it’s amazing to think how many resolutions have been made with the focus on the activity we would like to change; but not looking beneath to see the real reason we do that activity in the first place.
Thank you Cherise and Sue – it’s all too easy to see something is not good for the body, then say I’m not going to have it and either relapse or move onto something else thinking you have conquered it. The only way to fully heal and truly move on is to look at why you have that behaviour in the first instance. Every year people make New Year’s resolutions but they don’t hold, same with most diets. It’s only when people start to truly care for themselves that they feel and see the harm of the behaviour and the reason why they could possibly want to harm themselves, then they let of the pattern that led to the behaviour and the behaviour simply is no longer a part of one’s life.
This is the same as what I feel James, all through my life I have set these optimistic goals only to continue to dissapoint myself. It’s as if I keep having a go at the low self esteem game or something. Way to knock myself down. Having been supported by Universal Medicine I can now totally see the difference between this kind of outside of myself optimism and an internal commitment and realism. I take time to actually sit with the reasons behind stuff, like why did I choose to eat all those biscuits this week at the office. You know it’s actually taking the time to appreciate why you did it that in the end becomes the fun part for me too. Actually being in tune and listening to what my body says so that the next moment I can make choices to support myself. Funnily enough when I started dedicating to living like this things like the biscuits just fell out of my life. No diet, no fad, just fun.
New Years resolutions are a band-aid that set us up for failure. Our first resolution is ambitious and then we fail. Our second we go into knowing we failed the first time and so we are doomed to fail before we even start, it’s self perpetuating.
As Cherise has presented its not until we dig deep and look at why we are doing something, that the healing can start and it’s so much easier to cthen make choices that support us.
I agree Alison and what Cherise points out is that it’s really of no significance what the actual food is, for if I’m going to eat it in the energy of comfort or protection then I’m still trying to cover up and suppress what I’m feeling and therefore using that food whether it be nuts, vegetables or what would appear to be ‘healthy’ foods to do that isn’t important. I know stopping first and being honest as to what I’m feeling (ie am I tired, bored, anxious, upset etc) has got to be my first port of call to get underneath why I’m reaching for something that my body really doesn’t need (this is an ongoing practice for me and not always what I choose but a work in progress :)) because if I don’t my body will clearly show me after or the next day that what I chose was not true. What I’ve found interesting on my journey to understand my relationship with food was that I only really got to this point of understanding when it came down to the last few things ie it was easy for me to give up bread and biscuits but nut butter has been a whole other story!
Thank you, Cherise,for this reminder. We know deep within who we are and what we need to do in order to be ourselves but trained from the childhood to look outside and looking for approval from others to prove that we are enough we forget to connect to this knowing. Thanks Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and student body for constant remainder and true reflection.
Thank you Mary, for reminding me that self-bashing is totally destructive and that appreciating ourselves is fundamental in building a strong foundation of love.
So true, and the more we learn to appreciate ourselves, the more we are able to also appreciate others.
So true Cherise, and the fact is, if we do not address the underlying cause (for eating biscuits or any other behaviour), we can never make truly lasting change.
It’s completely true Angela and there can be many reasons why we choose the foods that we do, to not feel when something hasn’t felt good or when we aren’t accepting how joyful things are! and to punish ourselves or rebel against the expansion we are feeling is next…. But for whatever reason, it is so important that we nominate it for the ill energy that it is and that we do so from the understanding of the natural love we truly are and are from. With love, we can move through anything and with love we will want to make choices to stay with this love more and more everyday.
Thank you for this Cherise. I know the rebelling against the expansion that we know is coming next very well. There are so many ways that we keep ourselves small, as you say the only way to truly let these go is to allow ourselves to feel and nominate the root cause and feelings behind these impulses. Very insightful blog thank you.
Cherise, I like how you have described that certain foods can be used to rebel against the expansion that is right in front of us. When we do surrender and make the changes being called for, immediately the awareness and magic reveals itself and is always so much more than any food could give us. This is important to remind ourselves of as there is constantly another expansion on the horizon.
Yes Vicky, the opportunity of consistent expansion is always upon us and it’s true that all we have to do is remind ourselves that we may not know what is ahead but it is big and beautiful (because we are) and there will be something amazing and natural for us to express and there is no good reason to dull that down!
Very true! The actual action we go into (i.e. eating biscuits) is rarely the issue – but the motivation behind it as you say. The reasons why we eat things are often not looked into, and hence it is so easy to eat things that don’t support our bodies. Stopping and connecting with our bodies before eating can give us more of a marker of what our body feels, and needs to support itself. The more we do this, the more our body is able to communicate, and thus a stronger relationship is built. Building this relationship is a beautiful process that allows us to be free of ‘rules’, and to lovingly adopt things as and when we feel to.
Gorgeous and wise Amelia Stephens. What if we didn’t need to look to the food at all? but rather keep seeking out our choices ~ to be ourselves or to not, to live our natural way or to not and to live true to the powerful wisdom our bodies are or override them. Each question we ask ourselves has a clear yes or no answer, but it is whether or not we are prepared to listen to our deepest knowing that is the key.
So true Cherise – listening to our deepest knowing is the key!
Thats is spot on Cherise, we often see what we want to ‘fix’ but not the reasons underneath the behaviours we now want to be free of. It makes sense that without this approach that Cherise has explained, so many ‘resolutions/ diets etc’ inevitably fail, time and time again.
Hi Cherise, I loved reading each word of your post. Amazing!
Amazing insights, Cherise – and all from something as everyday as biscuits! It never ceases to astound me how much can be unravelled with self-responsibility, self-honesty and self-love.
Yes Gabriele I agree – I loved this blog and how it showed the amazing insights that can come from everyday things!
I agree Gabriele something as simple as biscuits can bring up so much for us. It is the small everyday things that we think won’t matter can be the most exposing when we stop to feel what is really going on.
I agree Alison, the simplicity of a biscuit does speak volumes about what is really going on for us. My choices were savoury not sweet. What I did come to learn was the art of eating more than one showed me how far I was willing to go to numb myself from how amazing I could feel all the time.
I agree Alison, it is the small things like biscuits that bring things up in us. And when we stop to feel what is really going, it is very exposing.
Completely agree with you Gabriele. It’s amazing that from a simple thing as eating a biscuit can really unravel so much insight into our old patterns and beliefs.
You are spot on Gabriele. From a biscuit to self-love, there is so much available for us to learn and understand if we are open.