New Year’s Resolutions: To Give up Biscuits
One New Year’s Eve I made a resolution – to give up eating the biscuits in my workplace staff room. These biscuits appear consistently on our kitchen table and magically reappear, just when you think the tray is almost empty!
With certainty, throughout my decade of practising as a nurse they have always been there and for me they seemed impossible to ignore, but I was determined to sever my relationship with them.
ENOUGH of the biscuits already! I knew I never felt great after eating them. I would feel physically bloated and sluggish as I returned to work, or my body would be buzzing from the sugar while I blamed myself for displaying a lack of self-control.
So how hard could it really be to give up eating biscuits, once and for all?
I was armed with determination and a co-worker’s moral support; I held a belief in my head of what it meant to be ‘healthy’ and biscuits never made the cut. I thought if I was committed to making this my reality, this could be the first resolution (in my history) to actually be successful.
And it worked! For one month I gave up eating biscuits…
Come February, not only was I hard on myself for giving into the sweet temptation, I had now confirmed that I knew resolutions don’t work. But most importantly, I knew I hadn’t dealt with why I wanted the biscuits in the first place and without this critical key, how could I choose whether I really felt to eat them or not?
To unearth the reasoning behind my choices with food (which included eating biscuits) I didn’t require will-power or a plan of attack (or even a cold turkey!). Contrary to my old behaviours of self-bashing, abuse and loveless discipline, I discovered that:
- Self-Honesty and
- Self-Love were the keys that would support a new foundation for my relationship with me and my relationship with food.
It made no difference whether I sought biscuits and sweets, heavy carbs or salty snacks and even handfuls of nuts, vegetables or fruit. For many years I chose and ate foods that created a sense of comfort and a layer of protection in my body through their creamy textures and highly distracting side effects.
But what was there to seek comfort for and protect myself from?
I have held an array of ideals and beliefs as to who and how I am supposed to be in this world, keeping me either searching outside of myself for recognition from others or feeding the need to fit in and be liked; cementing further the belief that who I am is not enough.
A New Way of Living Without Biscuits
But what I now deeply know to be true is that I am amazing and I am enough, by simply being myself. I know this always, but sometimes the old beliefs and patterns of behaviour come along and I hold myself back from simply being me in the world. When this happens – it hurts me deeply – and I seek comfort and protection to not feel the sadness in my body.
I was able to understand the real reasons behind my biscuit eating through regular sessions with my Universal Medicine practitioners, but before this I used to think I was seeking certain foods for their comforting qualities and that this was the normal way to live.
I now know our greatest form of protection is to be ourselves in full – to live tenderly with ourselves and others and to not hold our true selves back from the world. When I allow this knowing to be my way of living there isn’t a biscuit in the universe that could contend with the amazing feeling of being me.
By Cherise Holt, Nurse, Brisbane
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