I Don’t Belong Here…. Or Do I? - Everyday Livingness
Something happened recently that triggered an age-old feeling in me of “I don’t belong here; this is not my home.” It was a tiny little thing, but the feeling that came up in me was huge! I started to wallow in it, but then stopped and thought: “Well, clearly this is not only about what just happened . . . so, what is going on here?” And I started to look at where this feeling came from and what it meant. Firstly, it was triggered by a desire in me for something sweet that actually could not be satisfied, because somebody else had eaten my stash! And I have come to learn that, when this desire arises, it’s because I am already feeling a sadness that I don’t want to feel. I feel this sadness (and then the desire to sweeten it) any time I do not get my own way. When I don’t get what I want, I feel like I am missing out, I feel that I am not part of something, I feel different, isolated, not understood, not heard … any time, in short, when I make it all about me. If I make it all about ...
Anne Malatt