In the world today there are many different ways people live; whether it be their financial, educational, religious or health choices that differ, for each individual how they choose to live their life can vary greatly.
Yet no matter how different that livingness may look, and regardless of colour, sex or race, within we are all the same. So how is it, what is it in us that makes us judge, compare ourselves to, or criticise another?
Do we even notice that we are doing this, even in the slightest way, at a level that can be so insidious that we do not even recognise or we are not even aware that we are in any form of comparison or judgement? It can be a simple glance, a split second where that thought of being greater than another creeps in.
We are living in a world that seems to be less tolerant and more judgemental of others and the choices they make for their own lives. Each individual is judged for the colour of their skin, the way they dress, or do not dress, the religion they choose and the way they live within and from those choices. We have many different religions, all praying to the one God, yet each religion is judged and compared to another – all thinking our way is the way, that our God is a greater God – when at the end of the day, there is only one Heaven and one God.
I was recently made aware of acid attacks in the UK – people being disfigured because of the country they were born into. Bomb attacks, stabbings and shootings have been occurring more and more regularly – at times so often it barely gets a mention in the news, becoming a way of life, accepted, if I may say so. I was not aware that we ‘owned’ our country, nor that we had a right to deliberately disfigure, maim or kill another in such terrible, shocking and painful ways.
These are, of course, all extreme forms of judgement, but for me, what I am now feeling is, is it any different from the way I judge others? That if I look at another, thinking even in the slightest of ways that I am greater, then really am I any better than anyone else committing such atrocious and heinous crimes?
What gives me the right to think I am greater because I have made different choices? I may appear more ‘well-off,’ have a ‘better’ lifestyle or health and vitality, but who am I to separate myself from, or see myself as greater than another? Yet at times I have found myself doing just this. I was shocked when I felt the severity of this in my body, the arrogance I have held over another. It feels insidious and unsettling as I try to ignore and avoid the awareness that I am judging and placing myself above another. Then came the realisation that by doing this, seeing myself as greater than, better than or in a greater/luckier situation than another, I was actually contributing to the atrocities of the world – the same atrocities that I so despised.
We are all individuals, offering and reflecting our uniqueness to the world, a uniqueness that gives us all an opportunity to grow, develop and expand our own awareness, as well as others.
What if we began to love and accept ourselves in full, dropped our own walls of protection that we have built and let people see our own vulnerabilities and imperfections? Are we willing to learn from and see others as an inspiration, rather than a threat to our own way of being?
For myself, I am only now seeing how deeply seeded these thoughts are and how we allow them to run us and just how much they keep us in the separation of life and the love we ultimately can have for each other.
When I stop, let myself be seen, allow myself to truly see another for who they are, with no judgement or comparison, I learn so much. I can feel how I expand; there is a joy I feel in my body as opposed to a hardening. And those I judge and compare myself to the most, more often than not are the ones I am able to learn the most from.
The atrocities of the world begin with us. It is a choice we need to make to be accepting of all others without judgement, to be loving, appreciating and gaining a greater understanding of what it is we are all here to do; to love unconditionally, not making life exclusively about us, but about everyone as a whole, equally so.
By Nicole Serafin, 45yrs, Tintenbar, NSW
Further Reading:
Freedom of religion – a token gesture?
Judgment, The Way of The Livingness and the Power of Letting Go
God doesn’t take sides
I’m convinced that there are so many different religions all insisting they have the ear of God to befuddle us. The deception being that in some religions there is a grain of truth in them but a grain of truth is not the absolute truth. We are from God so therefore we can if we chose have a one to one relationship with him or not the choice has always been ours.
What gives us the right to think that we can impose our ideals, beliefs, pictures of how life should be on to another. And this may seem to be controversial but what gives a male Politian the right to decide whether a female is allowed an abortion or not? Or a religious leader the right to declare Holy War on innocent people to me this is barbaric and the fact that we stand by and allow it is even worse. The fact that many woman have little rights or say over their own bodies shows me how lost we are as a society.
Living with Love as our foundation, that is True-love, a Love that does not impose upon another, sets a Livingness that reflects the Joy that you have shared Nicole, So there would be no acid tongue or acid in your face when we are Loving in Truth.
Everything is becoming more extreme, due to us resisting our own love and the love of God that pours though all of us.
Decency and respect as a minimum, along with our starting to connect to our innate essences so we can feel the true Joy of who we are and can remember from our youth then we can connect to appreciation, which is the deeper understanding that all is divine or coming from God in everything in life.
Comparison and jealousy in thought is a potent poison for our own body and feeds a collective energy of poison that separates one from another and one group from another.
Great ending Nicole, as we all have to understand how to let go and undo those things we live with that have been our choices to be un-loving and finding True-Love and the relationship we have with our divine essences and God, so that all we do will deepen our appreciate-ive-ness of who we are, so we can evolve.
“The atrocities of the world begin with us.” a very strong statement and one I reckon most rather not admit, let alone feel. If there’s any part of me that wants to be an individual then I help fuel all those behaviors and beliefs that say it’s ok to treat others as different and separate to me.
We/ all of us have set this world up to be individual as this is a far away from the truth of who we are as you can get. We are all the same there is no doubt about it but we have taken this truth and completely manipulated it by introducing, race, colour, countries, borders, language, religion, politics actually the list is endless and we use all of these man made inventions to keep us in the separation. Take them all away and we are left with the fact that we are indeed all the same we come in the same way and we leave the same way.
It is when we get caught up in our differences rather than embracing the Love that we all come from that the judgement creeps in and poisons our relationships.
Any level of judgement exposes our lack of love for ourselves and others and is part of a continuum that leads to atrocities like acid attacks. This means that we all have the power to change the way we interact with others and reflect that there is a loving way to live in harmony which is all inclusive.
True energetic appreciation, is what cuts being judge-mental and also comparison in its tracks, so feeling the Joy life can bring is a precursor to living in a Deep-humble-appreciate-ive-ness.
This is key, accepting ourselves in full, loving ourselves, and not judging ourselves, ‘What if we began to love and accept ourselves in full, dropped our own walls of protection that we have built and let people see our own vulnerabilities and imperfections? Are we willing to learn from and see others as an inspiration, rather than a threat to our own way of being?’
Yes, judgement is very harmful in many ways, and often we are not fully aware of the extent to which we judge, ‘We are living in a world that seems to be less tolerant and more judgemental of others and the choices they make for their own lives.’
“When I stop, let myself be seen, allow myself to truly see another for who they are, with no judgement or comparison, I learn so much. I can feel how I expand; there is a joy I feel in my body as opposed to a hardening. And those I judge and compare myself to the most, more often than not are the ones I am able to learn the most from.” This is beautiful to read. Wouldn’t it be deeply empowering to adopt this awareness in our daily lives & a blessing to bring up our children with such an understanding?
More often than not when I find myself reacting to someone it is because that whatever it is is also in me and I don’t like it or they are showing up something in me that I have not mastered and I don’t like that they have made it when I haven’t…such silliness and what’s more harmful silliness- I can feel the harm – it feels quite alien and yucky to me in my body in that moment.
It’s true we do think we are better than others because we have made different choices or have been born into privilege. The thing is we look at others in despair and have learnt to look away because we feel helpless as to what we can do to alleviate their suffering. This looking away is contributing to the suffering because it hurts us deeply to see others in such despair.
Finding how Love is the part of our life or essence that we had as a child and learning that we can slowly return to that same child-like-ness by making different choices. So we can all reconnect to the Love we once were, it is never lost just buried under a plethora of addictive-beliefs.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us. It is a choice we need to make to be accepting of all others without judgement, to be loving, appreciating and gaining a greater understanding of what it is we are all here to do; to love unconditionally, not making life exclusively about us, but about everyone as a whole, equally so.’ I so feel this to be true and it’s a wonderful settlement in my body as I appreciate I do know what love is and can come back to it and know this supports the world. I feel how I used to fight the world in righteous energy and how forceful that judgement was that seared through me into existence. What made it worse was that I knew this energy and how I was was so far from the loving understanding that we all do know within if we looked.
Separation runs deep within our societies and cultures… It is so extraordinarily important that we are, as children, taught to connect with that which is innate and true within us… It is only then that the falseness of the structures and paradigms in place will be revealed
What I am scratching the surface of at the moment is that any judgement stems from a hurt we are feeling but not expressing.
Wow – what really hit home for me in your blog is that many, if not most of us can say acid attacks and racist attacks are absolutely unacceptable and evil and we’d never ever do anything like that, but as you point out it’s just an extreme form of judgement against someone’s colour or religion – and a more extreme version of something that most of us do everything day: judge people. We don’t think much of a thought but that thought is contributing to people getting grossly hurt in the world.
It is amazing when we have this awareness about ourselves, as even though it is uncomfortable and not pleasant to feel, with this awareness we can then and only then start to truly heal.
An inspiring blog Nicole. Every person and situation offers the opportunity for evolution and joy or contraction and adding to the ill-state of the world.
“Then came the realisation that by doing this, seeing myself as greater than, better than or in a greater/luckier situation than another, I was actually contributing to the atrocities of the world – the same atrocities that I so despised”.
It is important to focus on the present. Not to be led away by judgement but by seeing what can be done now that Can Support Everyone. Sometimes nothing can be done to change anything but the expression of presence and authority is what is needed.
There is something very loveless going on when acid is attacked on to a person by another person. There is such deliberate intent to cause horrendous bodily harm. How have we come to live this way, we, the descendants of what were once some of the greatest civilisations on earth, and us, the ones with the most technological advancements and medical interventions ever known.
Life is meant to be about others, life is meant to be about love, life is about brotherhood, yet we are not brought up this way and we have 7 billon people acting in separation who all know deep in their hearts that that is not the way.
If only we saw energy as liquids, like in this photo, we would realise we are wet with ideals and consciousness that feed us thoughts and beliefs that poison us, to the extent that we perceive that others are to blame for the pain we’ve received.
It is a good thing to really look at and define judgement no matter how big or small it may be as that there are few walking this planet that are completely free of it.
Understanding our own behaviour allows us to have compassion for ourselves and appreciating what we bring allows our love for ourselves to deepen.
Everyone dislikes being judged so it is interesting how much we do it to each other. The only way to stop being judgemental is to accept ourselves in full.
It is only because we accept a much lesser standard of respect, decency and care in relationships within society that ‘extremes’ like this can happen.
The acceptance comes from the comforts of this is not effecting me so why consider the standards are failing us ALL.
I agree Susie, it’s a question of raising our standards in all our relationships – especially with those closest to us – so that respect and decency becomes the lowest standard we accept.
So much of what is horrible in our world is not from what others do but the lack of care we have for ourselves. If we have this we need nothing else.
The smallest of judgement whether in the form of comparison, competition, jealousy or dislike is as damaging as those filling the news – bomb attacks, stabbings or shootings, Any form of judgement towards another is a judgement towards ourselves as we are all a reflection of the Divinity we hold within, we are all the same, we are all one.
It’s like we are all swimming about in a sea of poison yelling at each other for the yucky smell. It’s got to be high time that we start to see it’s only by working together that we can begin to understand how this poison came in, in the first place.
Once we let the genie out of the box by giving signals that certain ugly behaviours like spying on neighbours, being racist, using violence against particular groups, the ability to freely abuse others on the internet etc, then there seems to be a substantial number of people who respond to those signals with emphasis and gusto.
It is the most beautiful thing to give people space to just be where they are at. Judging and reacting is very exhausting as it brings a tension into our body because it is not natural to us to be judgmental.
‘When I stop, let myself be seen, allow myself to truly see another for who they are, with no judgement or comparison, I learn so much.’ This is beautiful, we each are unique and we each matter, we do not know another’s background or situation, we do not know what has led someone to make certain choices and to see first a person for who they are without judgement or comparison is healing for all.
Yes Nicole, very true.. Putting things out in front of us without truly changing ourselves never ever worked.. So when we see something around us need change, we need to feel and start changing the way we are with ourselves in relationship with that first. Only than true change can occur.
Thank you, Nicole, for being honest about the judgements you have. If we all stopped to feel the level of judgements we carry, I’m sure it would be an eyeopener.
Here in England recently we had a case where a three year old boy had acid thrown at his face whilst he was in his pram.
Super sad how all are one yet sometimes act millions of miles away from this fact.
When we judge another we reduce them into a box and make them so much smaller than the equal glorious being that they are.
Here, here Nicole. Our world today is fast becoming a blend of cultures, and in most countries, you will come across people that have different customs and religious beliefs. This is a beautiful thing as we in fact are asked to co-exist with each other, as we should. For in fact, underneath it all, the culture, race, gender and religious beliefs we are the same, we are all a Soul pulsing through a body, all of us here together craving to live love and harmony in our lives. How dare we criticize, judge, compare and condemn another for the external differences in which we express and live. What right do we have to proceed to abuse another on these grounds or any? Why are we OK with this happening in our world? And yes, we can do something about it. We can begin with looking at how we are in our lives with others, are we judgemental, condemning or compare another for our differences, for even in conversation we are contributing to the atrocities of this level of violence we see today in acid attacks. Although the actions may not seem as atrocious the impact is the same.
The corruption starts somewhere… It is insidious and will no doubt be around us all as well.
Do not think that we are immune, even if simply by our silence.
It’s our role to hold others in Love no matter what. Sure we can share what we think but always from a place where your care is what they first feel.
Are we raising our young to know this as a truth and that nothing less is not love?
Yes, that sets the exact opposite signal to those that invite abuse.
A great article Nicole, “or see myself as greater than another? Yet at times I have found myself doing just this. I was shocked when I felt the severity of this in my body, the arrogance I have held over another. It feels insidious and unsettling as I try to ignore and avoid the awareness that I am judging and placing myself above another.” I too have had this same realisation lately, I was shocked and saddened too that I was holding so much judgment for a family member, I was in effect saying that I was better, an energy that I no longer want in my body.
It seems this activity of treating others as less and harming or abusing them has been around throughout history. It never seems the behaviour is shocking enough (unless it’s happening to us) to want to question what’s going on. We can make all the human rights we like but it doesn’t change anything ‘on the ground’. We as a humanity need to look at the energy behind this behaviour and say no to it in all its guises, from extreme cases to snide remarks/gossip.
Oddly enough it seems over time we have discovered worse ways to harm each other, is it not about time we looked at the root problems that are causing members of our own humanity to act so appalling to another?
Not sure that’s quite true the ways man were tortured in the dark ages or gladiators was obscene I think what is more to the point is we think we are more civilised today because we have flash cars and I phones when in reality we have not evolved at all.
To compare oneself with another – is this the first step in the poisonous path of judgement of better or less than? It is a superficial look at two people’s situation without considering the many energetic layers and planes in life.
It may sound weird that with heightened abuse in our society we should focus on being open, connecting with people and not judging others, however in being absolute in relationships means saying an absolute NO to abuse, and also the role model we can set through our own way of being is incredibly powerful.
To consider oneself greater than another is the flip side of feeling lesser than another; these attitudes go hand in hand and one is as aberrant as the other. Any deviation away from oneness and innermost equalness breeds emotion.
This is a great point Gabriele, and we know the poison in emotional energy. Emotion is a reaction, just as is judgement…. looking underneath to see how and why these reactions occur – understanding – allows us to choose differently. When we know the quality of love in our body all we have to do is realign to that quality and move from that place…..so simple…..and still a choice.
So true Gabriele comparison causes an emotional reaction which often leads to an action to improve oneself over another or keep another down to maintain a position of superiority.
Judging another can happen in an instant! It took a movement of another – a glance to call out my judgment towards another. I obviously knew what I was doing because I clocked it immediately. It is amazing how we are constellated to support each other to be more love and in our power.
More than 400 acid attacks were recorded in the six months to April 2018 – an average of two a day in the UK. We now have one of the highest number of recorded acid attacks per person of any country in the world, and the figure is expected to rise further. This is a clear and loud action that speaks much about the judgement we hold against each other (in one of the most multi cultural countries in the world), the acts that take place defy the ‘tollerence’ and expose the lack of love, understanding and harmony in the way we live together.
From the smaller actions come the bigger ones – so this is an opportunity for us to look at the complication we call in and to ask ourselves – do we hold any judgement towards anyone? If we can be honest, then we are offered the opportunity to look at why there is judgement, but if we avoid it then we are feeding a bigger pool of energy that allows for extreme forms of judgement.
Very true Doug. I have noticed that children tend to have a radar for such things and often point them out, but they get shut down very early in life. When children ask those awkward questions that reveal the hypocrisy and the lack of truth in what we have settled for, we ought to thank them and encourage such astute observation and questioning. It is wonderful to be supported to become aware of our blind spots.
A single voice can make a difference, and your voice lets us know there is another way to stop the atrocities of the world by first seeing where lack of love exists in our own lives.
The vast majority of the thoughts and emotions most of us allow are not true, not us and completely toxic. We poison ourselves with what we allow in the most disasterous way.
“The atrocities of the world begin with us.” Yes, and they end by us accepting the responsibility we have to the All.
When I don’t feel and live equally with others I will feel it immediately in my body, a closing of my heart and a compromising of myself. Thanks for the instant warning of my body to return to love which is our natural.
Even thinking a hateful thought about ourselves is like filling our body with acid. Self-attack is poison. And if we are full of this poison then it will affect the way that we relate to others. The poison will leak out and harm others too.
Everything starts within and every outward attack is first and foremost an attack on ourselves, a dose of poison.
Its absolutely horrific what one person can do to another, in London, acid attack cases are going up, knife crime is on the up as well as murder and GBH.
To stop this we need to look at our very foundations of society and get to the root of why someone can seperate themselves enough to then allow harm to another.
All of the comparison and judgement starts from the moment we separate from ourselves when we are young, to be seen for what we do and are good at. This competing for getting the recognition works hand in hand with comparing and judging. To heal this we have to come back to ourselves and see how we are Love first and foremost and that we are not what we do and don’t need the recognition of others to know this. The seeking of recognition then goes as does comparison and judgement.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us.’ I can now feel the truth of this, because I am starting to be more honest about the thoughts in my head that are in separation and judgement of others.
Beautiful Nicole,
We can not change love, only the meaning of the word. Instant love remains love. Until we come back to feel what love is and live it equally for others.
‘And those I judge and compare myself to the most, more often than not are the ones I am able to learn the most from’ It is certainly worth while looking at what is happening when we stat to judge another. There is always a lesson there for us if we are willing to look a little deeper and become a bit more honest with ourselves.
Our society is riddled with judgement on others and we all suffer because of it – it creates pressures and pictures of how we have to be, and it separates us from others and from who we really are.
Often when we think about lack of love we think about violent behaviour and outright display of aggression or dismissal. Yet there is something very insidious in the notion of ‘good’ that we carry. For example I have always hated the championing of ‘positive discrimination’… Did you notice? The term has the word discrimination in there! How can we possibly imagine that something that is still ingraining our belief that we are different bring a settlement to our woes?
Look more closely at anything that sells an image and a prescribed action of good, and you will be able to find a falsity. Because the only true good is connecting to our hearts and feeling what is loving and true in each and every moment.
A great and much needed call to responsibility for us all to deeply and honestly consider how we are with each other, and how we are with ourselves. For there is no lesser or greater evil, as such the harm we impose on another, or the abuse we execute upon others through how we speak, judge and criticise or segregate and label groups is no less harmful than a physical assault of say, an acid attack. In fact, the subtleties of abuse that we allow in society is as harmful as poisonous gas, seemingly unseen but lethal all the same, as when taken into the body, into our lives, deforms and corrupts and disintegrates the utmost loving standards that we all rightfully and respectfully deserve to live, for ourselves and with each other.
Yes it is slowly that I start to feel how it is way more lovely to let people in and love and understand them than it it to judge and feel better than them. Because I noticed that feeling better than someone would often be my way of creating a distance.
The transference of our hurts onto other people, blaming, judging and being angry with them is just a big ruse not to take responsibility for living the truth.
Using judgement to keep us from building intimacy with another person, as in letting them in and showing all of who we are, has proven to be very effective in our society.
Judgement can blind us from our own behaviours and decisions. It is easy to cast our gaze out and be focussed on what others do, easier maybe than to turn our gaze within and see what it we are living in truth on a day to day basis.
Energetically we throw acid in someone’s face every time we have a bad thought about them or allow our feelings of jealousy to take over. The physical act is simply the end result of built up and un-dealt with feelings that are fed by unchecked evil thoughts.
The notion of ‘us and them’ seems to be something that we learn early in life. We impose on children the notion of competition and praise them for being top in anything (which means others are less). This lack of unity and drive for being better than others provides a fertile ground for the false, sensational hooking of interested parties that encourage people’s unloving behaviour towards one another.
There is a saying that there are many paths to God, and so each one needs to be honoured and given the space for its expression, because no one path is the only correct path – they are all justified and equal. And as much as this sounds great as it sounds respectful and human centred, is it possible that within this there is an excuse or a justification for one path or religion to be abusive to another? Claiming that their actions are not in fact abusive at all but rather the outcomes of their divine right for expression? And if this is the case, are we all actually on a path to God, or are we in fact heading somewhere else? Some place that is God-less because there is no love in abuse.
Judgement is, or it is not – there are extreme actions that are carried out as a result of judgement but the attitude itself has no ‘moderate’ or extreme version.
The acid attacks in the UK are a perfect example of how national pride and ownership fosters separation and hostility to those who are not natives of that country. The intensity and tension in people is building and ‘foreigners’ are an easy target to release this on.
Exactly we get blinded from truth by different ideals and ways groups of people think, There is so much fighting in our own “1st World” countries that we forget that its not normal to treat each other in this way.
These atrocities start with us, with our antipathy. We allow all of this to happen, enabling the perpetrators to get away with it and not rising up to say No. This couch of comfort has a lot to answer for.
When we open up to each other we open up to the world.
Are we ourselves judgmental in any way? That is a great question to ask when looking at the way people are being judgmental and abusive to one another. I find that I tend to be a harsh critic and judge of myself first, and that also carries to other people. As I build my ability to be more caring, allowing and understanding to myself, that naturally expands the way I view everything and embraces others also.
It is a lie to think that there are variations in how “bad” an action is. It’s all the same if it does not come with Love no matter how small it may be because all extremities start first with small “insignificant” acts.
An Avalanche that can cause a lot of damage is made up of snowflakes. How is it that we can walk around and believe we are separate from the abuse we see in the world when we make up the body of humanity? Focusing on physical action doesn’t allow us to feel our energetic contributions.
While we keep focusing on the symptoms, the end result we stubbornly resist understanding what we are here to see. Everything stems from the quality we live, and if we truly desire change, we’ll look at this.
I was told recently about a scheme in Scotland that has been dealing successfully with knife crime, there is a coordinated team to support the children way before they start to carry knifes, that children actually need support with their home lives. And this seems to me to be a great idea because all we seem to care about is education rather than the child it self and this to me is plain wrong.
Recognising the minutiae of the judgements, comparisons, and criticisms that come in is very important, because isn’t it so easy to think that one is free from all of that. But actually, in actual fact, if there is still present all or indeed any of those thoughts, then are we not still just adding to the pool of energy in the world that sustains gross and huge acts of judgement and condemnation?
It’s very imposing isn’t it to judge others as we are asserting a kind of dominating attitude over another’s life and their free will to choose to be exactly as they are.
What would life look like if we all were open and transparent so we reflected the Love we are the same a the moon is reflecting the light of the sun? Could it be possible we would start to live in decency and respect so our Livingness becomes a very simple and practical way of holding that energy, the other will get that reflection.
“The atrocities of the world begin with us. It is a choice we need to make to be accepting of all others without judgement, to be loving, appreciating and gaining a greater understanding of what it is we are all here to do; to love unconditionally, not making life exclusively about us, but about everyone as a whole, equally so.” This is so beautifully shared and something FOR to all appreciate and bring into our lives as our very foundation and something that would change the world to one of love instead of the lack of it currently lived .
Our actions are just mirrors for the internal feelings we allow. Anything less than Love is poison for us to let in. The consequences are truly disfiguring!
Could it be that when we align to an ill energy we are open to “committing such atrocious and heinous crimes?” Then could it be possible that atrocities of any kind are “to deliberately disfigure, maim or kill another in such terrible, shocking and painful ways,” so that we all feel a deep reaction to what is happening and therefore have an emotional out-pouring which adds to the ill energy? Then could this be the name of the game to get people to emotionally react to horrific situations, which are man made and when a natural disaster occurs we all ‘get together’ for the good of humanity. Maybe one day we will all ‘get together’ for a truly divine purpose, so everyone will continue to expand their awareness for a common true good, which will serve us all equally.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us.’ I agree. Taking responsibility for all of my deeds – and words and even thoughts – makes a difference. And if many of us do so then there is more love and less judgment and harm in the world.
It is so easy to fall into judgement, comparison, and separatism. It is liberally encouraged in a way all around us. What is much more challenging, is to know who we are and consequently to know those around us.
We can only judge another when we have judged ourselves first.
So true. I am becoming more and more aware that the judgment towards another has a root in a judgment towards me, always, ouch. Equally the love and appreciation I have and express to others reflects the level of love and appreciation for what is inside of me.
We have become used to a cocoon that isn’t true – a skin of lies that we let be on top of us – an energy that flows in and tells us we have issues with so and so. But we don’t because it’s not real. If only we finally rennounced the imposter energy we’ve let run the show, we’d see we are untarnished divinity.
This is such a gorgeous reminder Joseph. The fact is that the expression of “untarnished divinity” is our actual most innate expression. Only if we stopped feeding those thoughts that magnify the false reality we have been creating for ourselves, we would not pursue the ill behaviour and instead would start to naturally return to our true exquisite nature.
‘…those I judge and compare myself to the most, more often than not are the ones I am able to learn the most from.’ – this is good. It also happens to be very accurate for me. And yet instead of allowing the learning I call in the complication first. It shows how we can get in the way of potential.
An acid attack is simply an outward manifestation of what we are thinking and feeling towards others. It is a materialised result of years of judgment, hate, fear and jealousy that has built up and has not been addressed or cut. The results are visible, unlike when we silently attack. But our silent attacks are no less harmful. Energetically they still maim, harm and poison.
It is awful to become aware of what is happening between people in some areas of the world. With acid attacks and cyber-bullying just being two of a huge list of horrendous acts upon each other. But I feel that it is important to be aware of these things and events, even with as painful as it is, otherwise are we not living in a self-made bubble of dis-connected comfort that serves only oneself and leaves out the rest of humanity, our equal brothers?
Love what you propose Nicole, that judgement is judgement regardless of the form. Judgement often starts with self and is hidden away inside, prolifically eating away at us, and then spilling out like an overflowing garbage to those around us.
Every judgemental thought that we have about another feeds the energy of judgement back into the world. This is how we all affect one another therefore we have a responsibility to deal with our hurts so that we do not harm others.
Thank you Nicole for raising our awareness on this topic. I feel it is something we do all judge and compare it is so common place. And yet it is so harmful, I got caught out recently saying something that at the time I didn’t feel was judgmental on reflection however it came with the energy of ‘better than’ it was a great pull up and a reminder I have no idea of the circumstances that were before me and so therefore no right to judge another.
Thank you for your honesty, Nicole. I too in the past have judged others to be better or lesser than myself based on material factors and appearance, which I shudder to admit now, when I can feel that every single person in the world has the same access to their soul as I do.
I used to be so proud of my consideration and regard, as well as helpfulness towards others. I excused away those moments when I would have harsh thoughts and judgements, and thought nothing of those reactions of wanting to hurt the other because I never acted them out. Okay all of that is a level of civility and political correctness seems to be based on that level.
Yet since meeting Serge Benhayon and deepening my understanding of what true love, care and responsibility means, as well as the fact that we live in a pool of energy, I know I can not let the silent and “unexpressed” abuse slide, because in the world of energy just the fact that I am thinking it and walking with it in my heart, it IS expressed and it is very much felt.
How we truly feel about ourselves needs to be deeply considered if we really wish to halt judgement in its tracks. Because if we are judging another, we have first judged ourselves.
The awareness of judging another in the moment is in itself a great step to halting this behavior. Another is choosing to be willing to delve a little deeper, to feel what our personal insecurities are that have nudged us to judge. Defining them and steadily seeing them for the trick they are will bring us back to the innate power we are, a place where on judgement exists.
It is easy to catch ourselves judging another but we often are not so aware how we use comparison constantly to judge ourselves better or less than another.
‘The atrocities in the world begin with us’ – that is a huge statement, and boy does it turn the volume up on responsibility. While it may seem far fetched I could not agree more – the way we treat people gets magnified, and when we turn a blind eye to something that happens in the house, we are allowing the state of play to continue in the world. Its not just this person or that person that can change things…. its all of us in every situation that makes those changes and inspires others to do the same.
Judgement is so rife within society that I don’t reckon we are fully aware of how much we do it just even walking down the street. I am increasingly aware of this in myself as I start to open up my heart to loving myself and all others equally.
Well said Janet – the more we are willing to deepen our connection to our love within, the more we get to feel the greatness of who we are, and as such we have greater awareness of knowing and seeing that this quality is equal in us all, not always lived as we know for ourselves, by there all the same as we have discovered. Our actions then are naturally implused in honour of the love we feel and know for ourselves and know is no different within others.
I am reminded of something a very wise person shared with me …. ‘unless you know absolutely everything there is to know about someone, the choices and sacrifices they have made to be where they are today, not just from this life, but every life they have ever lived, unless you know all this minutia of detail, leaving nothing out, you are in absolutely no place to even consider that you are in any position to judge or compare with that other person’. That very much put things into perspective for me.
Brilliant blog, Nicole – thank you so much for raising our awareness on how much we judge and compare in life, often without even realising we’re doing it, and the harm this then causes. I love that you’ve made this a topic for discussion as I feel there are so many layers to be exposed. When we ‘think’ we have fully unearthed where we are falling into judgment or comparison, there are often still many more layers to go.
I love what you share here Nicole and YES “The atrocities of the world begin with us” and they also end with us. We are ALL responsible for this world.
Any harm that we hear is a responsibility we all carry. Not in the direct act itself but one in which we can clock how often in our day are we totally responsible for all our movements that carry nothing less but the equal love of ourselves and humanity.
The incidents we see in society aren’t random crazy events, but great big signals and markers that something isn’t right. Why do we persist with attempting to improve these situations? We need to stop and simply see we are living miles away from who we are designed to be. Thank you Nicole for this sobering blog.
A great point Joseph. When the foundations are far from okay to start with, it is pointless re-decorating or fine-tuning anything. We will always have problems with our building. It is the same with the rest of our life. When we have such clear telltale signs that there is something fundamentally wrong, we need to stop and re-assess all our foundations.
It is great to expose where we call in any judgement and create an us and them. Enough people are doing it, so why should we contribute if it is the very thing that harms humanity. To be honest about the smallest of things helps start to change the big things.
One of the most difficult things for me to accept about myself and my arrogance and judgment is the force with which I blame those who make these acid attacks on others, maiming and harming them. Yet I realise my thoughts and emotional reaction are actually greater and more harming than even these horrendous attacks. The fact that I do react with this amount of force reflects for me the insidious evil energy disguised as righteousness. A double harming that only furthers the separation between us.
We can not deny…although we attempt it, that how we are seeds how socity is and what erupts out of it. We need to take a moment and reflect on how we behave and the emotions we allow to run us in a daily basis and how these fuel the ills that are poisoning humanity.
We all need to step up as a whole humanity and take the steps that are there for each of us to take to make this place more loving with every breath we take, as what are we fighting for and point the finger when we all deep down in our heart yearn for love and harmony. The simple fact remains “at the end of the day, there is only one Heaven and one God” and we are only one humanity, as in one unity, and not many millions individuals fighting for their own cause.
It hurts to be judged because deep down we know it is a denial of our innate divinity. It is what holds us back the most from really seeing and feeling that we are each a Son of God in essence, regardless of our religion, race or creed.
Liane, I totally know this feeling both for myself when I am judged and also when I judge another.
Judgement for me was very verbal and a constant at one time and what I am feeling now is that the greater my acceptance of myself the more understanding and love I have for others. This is very much a process and I am still aware of the insidious judgements that slip in and feel very uncomfortable in my body – our bodies are a great support as they gently coax us back to living as a one whole with the rest of humanity.
An inner judgement of another may seem so minuet to us in comparison to the other judgements in the world. What I have learnt is that they all come from the same pool of evil, all contributing to the other regardless of what size we perceive them to be.
Yes the outer-atrocities can only occur when there is an inner-atrocity already taking place. Self-judgment feels painful in my body and it is only at those moments that I really can latch out in frustration or resistance to others.
“The atrocities of the world begin with us ” well said Nicole and a much needed sharing with the judgement and comparison of the world so paramount in how we are living today. Appreciating and gaining a deeper understanding of love with ourselves and others opens up a different reflection and appreciation for others and allows a joy and expansion within and for us all.
Nicole this blog is a powerful reminder of how deeply healing it is to just stop and take a moment to truly feel what is arising from within our mind at any moment and how this can be felt in the body as contraction or an expansion of joy and harmony.
Judgement can be subtle and insidious and dismissed or covered up, but it only reflects how we are with ourselves. If we do not know or are not honest about how we do judge ourselves, we would do the same with others.
Judgement and critique has become so commonplace – perhaps we need to look at why this is the case? It’s like it makes us feel safe – to measure and condem life, to reduce it down and box it in. To be ‘right’ boosts our sense of our self and by comparison makes us feel better about our lot. Knowing we are all the same, brothers and sisters and there is no bad or good just cuts through all that, but first we need to renounce and let go of these judgement highs that we’ve been using to get through life. Thank you Nicole.
Well said Joseph, and especially insidious can be the judgements we hold on ourselves, it’s great to be aware of how we are but to judge it makes for a downhill spiral that can fool us into thinking we are bettering ourselves when all along we are keeping ourselves stuck. No need for analysing or justifying or even sympathising we need to cut this energy and come back to the love that we are and feel that first before looking any further.
The moment we are not making it about us ( what WE need or want ) , but acknowledging the beauty that everyone carries, we support them to actually live it either even more or start living it. The moment we choose the poison of comparison and judgement we cement not only the other in their evolution but also us.
Grouping in any way shape or form is a bastardised version of our innate feeling of unity and togetherness. We seek connection, but because the world does not offer it in most cases, we at least find it in similarities with others, through same interests, hurts or values- in groups. This gives security and a relief from the tension ( because we all feel the separation that exists in this world) but it does not heal the root cause of the separation. Especially when the group members stay insular within- it seemingly feels connected, and indeed you are in a group, but if it comes with conditions and limits to others/ the all, it is still separation in the bigger picture.
Thanks, Nicole. If everyone, just as you have, starts to be honest with ourselves about the judgements we hold towards others, we will see that we are already judging and not being loving with ourselves. Then we will be able to have more open and responsible conversations with each other.
Thinking we are more or better than another is the other side of the coin of holding ourselves as lesser – it is only when we appreciate what we bring that judgment of others can start to be deconstructed.
It’s a very interesting philosophical point to raise – is the action/intention less harmful just because it is on a smaller scale or not physicalised and just internalised or energetically carried out?
Yes, it is a ‘huge jump’ to relate the two, but only huge when we are not willing to see the steps that are there from that one point to the other.
Who are we to attempt to own any part of a world that does not belong to us, its like trying to own the air! We are all equal, all made of the same stuff so to speak, regardless of the colour of our skin or language we speak, we all feel the same things. So it makes complete sense to me that our true learning lies in dismantling our man made barriers and seeing beyond the limitations of judgment to a much bigger and far more engaging realm of brotherhood that sits so majestically behind it.
Our thoughts can be as harmful as our actions. Everything we think and do has an effect. To be aware of this invites us to take responsibility on every level.
Love it Rebecca – a call to be more aware of how sensitive we are, and likewise how sensitive everyone is.
Love it Rebecca – a call to be more aware of how sensitive we are, and likewise how sensitive everyone is.
To answer the question, ‘How can we judge, compare or criticise another’? I would say that it starts within the person. To feel judgment or criticise means that we have feelings that hurt within ourselves that we then project onto others. Such hatred as acid bombings or even intolerant thoughts are a sign of personal discontent and unresolved hurt. We need to learn to deal with our own issues and not vent them on another human being.
Yes, Nicole. The moment we think that our relationship with God is different or better than another’s, we are exposing that we do not truly know God.
Any attack to other is an attack to oneself first, because to reach that point, there must be a choice of being disconnected from love first to not feel the harm that comes later… and this is harmful in itself to the person that attacks.
Is it possible to have a full life living like this? No way
Yes indeed, Amparo. Any word or action that comes from an emotion, an emptiness or lack of love within ourselves will harm us and everyone around us. This is a simple energetic law that holds all of us responsible at all times.
Another great calling to see what is going on in the world with the atrocities harm and suffering becoming greater and more accepted in society and our part to play in this . The responsibility this blog calls for is beyond what is normally offered and shows the changing times we are living in and the honest level that is needed and we are ready to make and the lack of love that is sad simply because we are all love and come from love.
“The atrocities of the world begin with us” so wisely said Nicole it is so true yet to date we humans bury our heads in the sand to this fact and instead look always outward to blame yet the energy that creates this horrendous acts can sometimes be closer to home then we care to admit.
The very fact of judging gives away that we are hurt and protecting that hurt from a pride we don´t want anyone to see or touch. Judging is lying, plain and simple.
Let’s imagine that we are all bulbs and that different from them which are fixed in terms of emanation, that everyone chooses how much they emanate. We can agree that if it were for us, we will all emanate all the light of the world. The fact that we are not doing must be for a powerful reason that we cannot but respect.
The judgement we have for others and the choices they make for their own lives is rallied as a caring and concerned outlook. But is this intention true when it is communicated with control and ill truth?
No one is ever any lesser or greater than anyone else. We are only more or less aware. There is no comparison possible in that for it is a very personal relationship we have with evolution.
And also what I got from this is how we are with ourselves also has an impact on the quality of love that is being lived in the world. When I dismiss or put myself down I am more likely to also do this to others. So first before I go outwards, I need to go inwards.
You are right we do not own countries, borders, religions, people or God. The truth is we do not own anything but we like to think we do! I cannot wait for the day when we truly absolutely all get this ✨
It always pays to remember that well before judgement is expressed in thought or word it is said in our movements. Be it even in the way we walk or look (or don’t look) at someone. Whether we say something or not, judgement has well been communicated regardless.
Beautiful picture on top of this blog as the energy of comparing with one another and having judgements running through our body is really poisoning our whole system including our thoughts of course.
True Gill, while reading Nicole’s blog I felt how comparison and judging another or groups is there in a fraction of a second which exposes my emphasis on what i feel and see on the outside instead being with myself and feel my foundation of love inside.
From little things big things grow… it is the little details which we consider insignificant or somehow better or less harmful than the more extreme things that are actually feeding the extremes.
It is easy to say that life simply needs to be about love, but it is only recently that I have actually started to live from this premise. This is by taking responsibility in my movements to bring that loving quality, instead of the old way of quietly abusing myself and others with loveless talk and actions which ripple out to the world and create such brutal acts as you describe here, Nicole.
Either we feel being less or more than someone else, in both cases we feel entitled to judge and react. Only with a sense of equality we will be able to live harmonious with one another.
Good point Alex that thinking that we are less than someone else is a judgement no different to thinking we are better and even if we are judging ourselves this has an impact on others around us.
To whatever degree it would seem that protection goes hand in hand with separation, carried hurts begin to form our choices and before long we become a shielded version of ourselves. It is through the study of energy as taught by Serge Benhayon that i have come to understand that yes I have allowed hurts to be carried energetically in my body but that these hurts are not part of who i naturally am. With the support of Universal Medicine healing modalities i have let go of many of these hurts and realised the immense life changing power of vulnerability and self acceptance.
Looking at our judgments is indeed a lifelong pursuit to unearth the untruths we live by and bring up to the surface the Love that we are naturally from – unfortunately, we have become so geared towards the separation than we have towards seeing our fellow man as the same and equal.
I was wondering why we place all this judgement on ourselves and others. It’s like this hardening, bracing and protection that stems from all our hurts dumped on another person. But the more love we build within ourselves and heal the hurts that lie within, judgement seems to fade and understanding takes its place.
In this world we are scared of difference. And everyone else is different to us. So how are we going to handle this? We can allow our reactions to dominate and constantly judge everyone, or we can be honest with ourselves about the fact that this is our tendency and make an effort to turn it around. One means being more mature and responsible than the other. So perhaps this is a responsibility issue rather than a judgment issue.
Judging others is one of the most destructive and divisive things we do; but before I let the understanding of this fact become another reason to give myself a hard time for all the times I do judge others, this is an opportunity to realise that the judgment starts in my relationship with myself and any judgement I look at others with is an off-shoot of the harshness with which I compare, criticise and judge myself. So when I spot this habitual behaviour emerging, there is an opportunity to consider how I am speaking to myself and apply some understanding care and respect in those quiet moments, building my acceptance of myself and therefore others.
Thank you for sharing about judgment and comparison and how it is there for most of us, even in subtle ways. I have been noticing this too lately and surprised that even when I look with appreciation of how a person has dressed or feels, I can compare that against the norm or my perceived ideal. The comment that we can learn the most from those we judge the most is very true from my experience. WE can slip into a bit of comfort with people who fit our mould. But the ones we react to shows us something we still need to develop. When you look at these relationships in this way, it stops the blame and tension that I often see play out.
It is from the lack of love we receive and then internalize as a lack of self-love that then turns out as a lack of love for others and therefore comparison, judgement and whatever to unload the inner unsettlement.
A great sharing Nicole thank you, I realise I am in reaction to a person I have no relationship with, and had kind of brushed it aside but now I realise that I need to feel into the situation and open up to what is being reflected to me as part of my evolution.
There is only love and all that is not of love. It does not matter how small or seemingly insignificant an act of lovelessness might be, it is still void of love. And likewise it does not matter how grand an act of love might be it is still love. Only in the material world do we measure and grade life, when life has an utter absoluteness about it in every way.
Everything that is not right, truly good or great in this world is because of the quality we are holding ourselves in for us to hold another person in that same quality too. If the quality is not self-love, then the world will be full of that same quality too – lovelessness.
It’s crucial that governments and authorities address this, however we are all ‘people in power’ when it comes to true equality and shaping our society to be respectful, appreciative of our diversity and responsible.
Yes and since we are the makers of our governmental systems and processes it is our first and most significant responsibility to live in a way that supports our society to be respectful and appreciative.
This struck me this morning as I re read this blog
“the religion they choose and the way they live within and from those choices. We have many different religions, all praying to the one God, yet each religion is judged and compared to another – all thinking our way is the way, that our God is a greater God – when at the end of the day, there is only one Heaven and one God.”
There is such separation in Religion it fosters this and pitches one person against another all in the name of religion, but whose religion? To me it isn’t God’s religion because he would not have us behave in such a way towards each other. So it must be manmade to control the masses by the few and we have fallen for this way of life hook line and sinker.
Attacks can be at different levels, for example, in a relationship where one partner reacts to something the other said or did and a stony silence goes on for several hours, sometimes days. It’s not easy to live with, and some people can break the silence with a lightness of heart, but if both parties are in reaction, then there’s an energy let in that keeps the dis-harmony going. It is not healthy.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us’: very true. What would our world be like if we all addressed our own, inner atrocities first? How would things be different if we were open to seeing how we abuse ourselves in every way, from the tiniest, most insidious thought, to the bigger and more obvious things like accepting abuse in our relationships?
This is such a great discussion as we so often put ourselves as greater than or better than another whilst believing that we are treating others as equals.
The decrease of tolerance and the rise of judgement may be actually more honest as tolerance has never been loving or in full acceptance and understanding of another person or their faith, colour, sex or race. We need to start with love to get to love.
Wise words Nicole. . . “The atrocities of the world begin with us.”. . . as everything is energy all our thoughts words and deeds all add to what we see being played out in the world. We think we get away with our own little private judgements of others and yet are all horrified by atrocities such as acid attacks and the likes. I now know the only way we can turn things around in the bigger picture is to work on the smaller picture that is right in our face!
When we all get to understand the purpose of why we are here, which is as you say Nicole, to love unconditionally without judgement regardless of our colour or background, and to not make the focus of our lives about ourselves but about all of us equally so, then perhaps we will eventually all learn to live together in true harmony.
This article calls us all to be more responsible in how we treat and respect other people, with no more comparisons to extremes, such as extreme abuse or violence, to justify our behaviours. Love is love.
It is great to ask this question of ourselves and become really honest about or own ways of judging and comparing as it is there undeniably so. Only if we truly love ourselves and hold ourselves equal to all other can we stop this. And in the process learning to truly love and understand ourselves we will also do this with others.
Thank you, Nicole, for your honesty in exposing how we can live in separation from one another without understanding the full impact of our judgement and walls of protection.
The more we appreciate and see that we are all the same, we are all love first and foremost the more we will then see our part to play here is to remind everyone else they too are love.
Thank you Nicole. In my experience the judgement we have for others comes from the judgement we have on ourselves. To address our judgement and criticism of ourselves and what is behind this then has the follow on effect of how we are in the world with each other.. and so change the tide of judgment amongst us all.
We are all the same we come into the world the same way and we leave the same way there is no difference.
Very true Mary and a great way to look at it.
The more at ease I am with myself, in my own skin, the less separation or distinction there is between people. Because in the greater fullness, similarity is seen more, and in this so too seen is the absurdity of living life separate.
When we start to look at our judgments, and they decrease, we start to believe that we are not judgmental when in fact what has just happened is the intensity of the judgments have changed and are now subtle but still there. We believe that because the intensity has gone that we are better or have improved in some way but in fact, we are the same it is just the intensity that has changed. Clocking our judgments is a lifelong pursuit but well worth the effort because all of those thoughts that we allow are so far removed from Love and keep us in separation from another.
The is a lot of hate and fear and tension and anger in the world, at past and current hurts and the suffering and wrong and because of separation and segregation. Never has a fight been won with more judgement or hate – in fact, we need to stop fighting all together, not in the sense of giving up and letting abuse happen, but in the sense of not countering an issue with the same energy that fuels the issue in the first place.
This is a stunning article Nicole, we can easily refer to the horrendous acts of violence against each other based on judgement, but where does the judgement start, who judges, we ALL i can confidently say have experienced judgement to some degree, that we have put on another. I know I have which shows that I am not living lovingly in that moment. As it’s one person AGAINST another.
Where there is LOVE, there can be no room for judgement, inequality, comparison and so forth as LOVE is all embracing.
Each one of us can choose to be less judgemental at any time. When we don’t do it would be likely that there is a benefit in keeping ourselves more judgemental than we need to be. If that benefit turns out to be of little value, why would we stay judgmental?
Equalness is really key in overcoming comparison and judgement: we may not have an unconditional sense of equalness just by saying so but we can start with the intention and from there develop a deeper willingness, a surrender to hold everyone as an equal in appreciation for who they are. Equalness and true love go hand in hand as both are condition free.
When I notice someone acting in an abusive way, do I make a stand for love?
And if I do, is it with judgement, harshness and perhaps even hate? Or do I hold everyone and particularly that person in love whilst noting that the behaviour is not representative of the truth of our essence or oneness?
Am I contributing to the energy of separation and lack of care of one another, or am I aligning to the energy that offers the opportunity to heal the hurts and divides that lead to such abuse?
It had not even occurred to me to ask such questions, let alone realise the significance of such an understanding until I met Serge Benhayon around 10 years ago.
This is a subject that I too have been pondering on in recent times. I am aware I can be judgemental without really seeing it at times too! This I am not proud of and endeavour to pull myself up when the awareness strikes me! No matter where I am I hear people sitting in judgement on another, even in places where there ought to be a greater awareness !
Thank you for presenting this simple and confronting truth, Nicole – “The atrocities of the world begin with us.” I agree that they do because we have come to accept such lovelessness in daily life, even in the abuse of our own thoughts towards ourselves, so it is no wonder that things escalate to the point of acts of violence.
This is such a huge topic of conversation because it seems to me that what is being presented is just the tip of the iceberg in our relationships with each other. And for me knowing what I now know the more I rediscover myself and re embrace me, the less chance I have of hurting another by thought or deed. I now know that hurt comes from me first, always.
Yes Nicole, and we only have to look at our own selves and the way each of us live … to elucidate why the world is as it currently is, and hence what is needed in each of our part towards its restoration.
Great blog Nicole. Separation is in fact the deadliest of poisons.
What I started to get and feel with the support of Universal Medicine is that the judgement and lack of love for others was deeply seeded from the fact that I had this first for myself. A constant reflection of always checking in first before only see what is outside of us and our responsibility with this.
When we see that ‘The atrocities of the world begin with us’ we see the responsibility we have to bring the love that we are and not hold it back, which means speaking out when things do not feel loving and saying no to any and all forms of abuse or vitriol in our lives. The more we do this the more others get to also feel what is love and acceptable and what is not. It is through the way we live which is far mroe powerful than words alone that makes the difference.
‘It is a choice we need to make to be accepting of all others without judgement, to be loving, appreciating and gaining a greater understanding of what it is we are all here to do; to love unconditionally, not making life exclusively about us, but about everyone as a whole, equally so.’ Living without judgement allows us to have relationships that are open and honest, to feel free within our own bodies and to enjoy life at a level hitherto unknown.
The hatred that we must feel towards ourselves first, in order to be able to throw acid into the face of a fellow human being is the energetic equivalent of drinking the acid.
It is hard to fathom the hatred that is involved here, it is extreme. Do these people who do these acts really think it through, the disfigurement and even blindness they cause a fellow human being or do they know full well and what we do to another we truly do to ourselves.
We are all on some level responsible for the atrocities in the world, as each and every little thing we do will have ripple effects around us. Hence the little judgements that we make on a day to day basis are the ones that feed the greater judgements that then lead to the acts of acid being thrown in someone’s face. This is not a pleasant or comforting thing to realise that we all contribute to such vile behaviour, but in looking at it this way, we can begin to take true responsibility for our actions.
“What if we began to love and accept ourselves in full, dropped our own walls of protection that we have built and let people see our own vulnerabilities and imperfections? Are we willing to learn from and see others as an inspiration, rather than a threat to our own way of being?” – this is a refreshing and ‘new’ approach for us as a society to look at. And each and every one of us can apply this in our lives – it is certainly something for me to keep working on!
When we make life exclusively about us, I find it is easy to then judge and attack others because it is a contracted way to live that opens us up to ill thoughts and behaviours. Closing down our openness and love leaves us venerable and susceptible to judgement, comparison and many ill behaviours. I know one of the best cures is love and oneness (brotherhood).
Thank you Nicole, very revealing yet a freedom for the heart, as we are born to be love.. and many of our behaviors and ways of being is actually far far far away from that. So what you share here makes me awake and feel and see what is the effect of any separation that I have used and walked in in my life. But it is truly wonderful to start being honest about this, so that we can feel the reality of what we live and the urgency to actually start loving people.
We do not put enough time and consideration into developing our understanding of others, our acceptance and our respect. We are suffering because of this imbalance in what we make important, focusing on intelligence and progress in terms of the mind and technology, all the while forgetting that we are human first and we need to know how to live together.
There are no coincidences in who we meet or come into contact with. Each encounter offers the opportunity for us to learn or to reflect something different to another – potential evolution for all, but for this to occur we must see others as equal sons of God and not let the thoughts / actions of judgement and comparison sabotage such opportunities.
What a beautiful and true conclusion:
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us. It is a choice we need to make to be accepting of all others without judgement, to be loving, appreciating and gaining a greater understanding of what it is we are all here to do; to love unconditionally, not making life exclusively about us, but about everyone as a whole, equally so.’
All we can do is to ‘up’ the love more when we look around us.
It’s great to bring the microscope to ‘comparison and judgement’ to begin to understand the subtle and insidious ways it lays within the beliefs we often unassumingly hold. To bring this up into our awareness is to begin to reveal what goes on and how destructive and manipulative beliefs can be.
This blog and this presented topic also asks us, supports us to deeply consider our own levels of judgement and comparison – the obvious and the subtle. And it also makes us aware that these judgements and comparisons can be happening around us and to us. Something to also be aware of in life and a reminder to not take things personally as another’s judgement or comparison is actually an issue that stems from their choices to live less – just as this is the case when we ourselves go into such judgement or comparison. Thank you Nicole.
Gosh reading this is really asking me to be honest about the judgement I hold of others, I judge far more than I care to admit. I like to present to the world a person who holds everyone equally, who does not judge another but if I’m honest it’s not true. Judgement can be obvious or subtle and what this brilliant article is asking for is far more honesty about how we are about others not matter what their choices are.
Spot on Fiona, we may think that overall we are not judgemental, but when we begin to look at the detail it is like opening a can of worms….for we get to see the self-judgement we can carry, the subtle little ways we put another down or see ourselves as better etc etc. And to realise how this feeds the bigger picture is certainly not pleasant!
True. This blog asks for a greater level of honesty from us about our lives and the way we are in life.
Yes, Fiona. I wonder what it would be like if for one day all of our thoughts were heard by everyone. The subtle and not so subtle judgements that are constantly occurring would probably shock and disturb us all.
It may sound silly but I wonder if thinking that we are holding everyone equally is a judgment – about us?
Awesome blog, Nicole. Much needed in the world today. Judgement can happen automatically if one is not aware, ~ but being aware of these thoughts that creep in can arrest this separation.
It seems, if we are honest that it is easy to go into judgement and comparison if we aren’t careful and aware, those thoughts come in as quick as a flash if we aren’t onto it. To let down our guard and be open and vulnerable and also see everyone as a true equal is where we are all heading and will be such a beautiful time and place but it may take some time for us all to get there as we are still so entrenched in our individualism where the need to judge arises from.
Any abuse, and judgment is an abuse, begins with ourselves and then moves onto those in our immediate lives. What we tolerate we accept. These abuses can be very subtle, but its only when we let go of the obvious ones that we begin to see what we have been allowing. But we can only look at this through the eyes of someone who is choosing more love for themselves, for this is the foundation needed to not only let go of the abuse, but supports us to be willing to see it all.
The more I appreciate the qualities in my body the less judgement I have for me and others.
When we read the news or look at what’s happening in the world, is this a form of ‘entertainment’ or time wasting, or do we choose to truly see how humanity is being affected by our ill choices, and look at how we can be more responsible in our lives?
It’s an interesting question Susie, are we choosing not to see the drama of news and how we are getting caught up in it using it as a distraction so that we do not feel our own ill choices?
It is very inspiring to approach these initially negative things with such understanding. The opportunities to learn from this are endless. Thank you, Elizabeth.
Rather than trying to take the judgements I have head on, I love what you say Nicole about realising that it is with the people I judge that I can learn so much about the beliefs and embedded patterns I carry, so being honest and getting behind the judgment to what lies beneath. This is where I feel change can happen.
In that we are seeing that everyone we meet can show us something about our patterns and behaviours. Not that we are them, but that we are much more than how we present ourselves. There is much to learn from others only if we are willing to see.
“We are living in a world that seems to be less tolerant and more judgemental of others and the choices they make for their own lives” Social media has a massive part to play in this, with own own news feed and only tuning into others who are also likeminded it can feed our prejudices – conscious or unconscious.
Stopping to take note of the judgement that runs through us all is a moment of reviewing the importance of respect and responsibility that go hand and hand with the great joy we can experience in relationships rather than the ridicule.
I’ve also found that those I judge the most are the ones I learn the most from – it is like we react to what we unconsciously feel we can learn and grow from, and instead judge them… but in time there always presents an opportunity to connect wiht them in some way, and everything changes – judgment drops away and a new found appreciation for what everyone has to offer comes to the fore.
Reading this blog has offered the opportunity to be more aware of the smallest of thoughts that hold judgement of some kind (the majority of them) as they come into my mind – I am feeling the impact on my body more clearly from this.
One of the utterly ridiculous things about what I have judged others for, is that what I have actually chosen to judge them for has changed radically over time, dependant on my beliefs at the time.
It’s really quite insidious the way most of us choose to live – the constant judgements of ourselves and others for our choices. I know I have been slave to ‘what will others’ think?’ Reading this shows me that the constant yucky way of being is like slinging slime all the time – imagine if this were possible to see it like that?! We’d come home covered in it and then, for good measure, dunk ourselves in it more! So time to be really loving with myself as I know that way I get to know my loveliness inside and be this more. This includes me not judging another for their views or actions!! The actions maybe unloving but the person is not, they are not being themselves and so let through stuff that isn’t love. The more I learn this about myself the more I can understand people with not judgement of them.
It is sooo easy to sit on the high chair of ‘I don’t do that look at how awful others are’ it is so separatist and disgusting yet so common, we often place ourselves ahead and above others it’s engrained into us from young to compete rather than love, adore, understand, cherish others. It is a deeply ill way of living.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us. It is a choice we need to make to be accepting of all others without judgement’
When we accept we are all one we know when we judge another we do exactly the same to ourselves.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us.’ This is so true Nicole and you inspire us to really look at the many different ways in which we contribute to the world, either in a harmful way or a loving way. How we are with ourselves is how we are with the world and every choice we make impacts on everything.
Brilliant article. I have been facing this daily whilst living in the US. So easy to cast any kind of judgement and what i have noticed is how conversations almost demand it nowadays – it’s like it is a sign of intellect to have a strong opinion or judgement on something and to express it with real conviction; everyone jostling for position in these dialogues wth no space given to observation or, dare you even say it, “i don’t know”. I have been a very major player of this game and connect with so much that you have written in this article and am now on a program of really trying to catch myself whenever this comes up; pausing to see beyond the clothes, accent, body, colour, creed or whatever they are saying – and it’s fun, especially when they say some extreme stuff that I may not align to, because then the game is all about looking deeper and reading and feeling where that expression actually comes from.
I realised yesterday when pondering on judgement that it really is when we bring in a view or perception that suits us or our own agenda rather than just accepting and allowing and observing what is occurring.
We are judging people all the time and that is not conducive to brotherhood. We have all made different choices throughout our lifetimes and that has affected the way we look, the way we live and although we may not like the looks or lifestyle of another, that does not give us the right to criticise or abuse them.
I am on holiday in Hanoi and the way of life here is confronting to say the least. News reports say that that less than 30% of people in Vietnam have stable housing. It can be easy to see yourself as superior when others view you in this way too. I went into sympathy with the people I saw in the first few days and this took a big toll on my body/- I can see that sympathy requires an assessment that someone else is ‘less’. Your blog reminds me that I am equal and no more or less than anyone else regardless of my nationality or financial status.
“who am I to separate myself from, or see myself as greater than another?” – How can we actually justify that we are so called ‘better’ than someone else? Our skin is a slightly ‘better’ shade? We ‘do’ more in our day? Comparing meaningless criteria against another is absurd, yet we are doing it all of the time… Is purple better than blue, deserving of more attention or better treatment?
We recently had an outrageous incident where I live where some white children tied up and beat a child of different ethnicity. While this was shocking to hear about, it did not take long for me to acknowledge that this is simply the outplay of how we are all (myself included) holding ourselves and each other in separation and loveless judgement. Universal Medicine is leading the way in making life and community about love and equality once again.
It really is worth catching any little piece of judgment we have towards someone as it all contributes to the heinous crimes we as humans do to each other on a grander scale.
If only we could all see as some can, that we are just all the same at the core and be able to see the beauty in that core first without judging everything that follows after that.
Could it be that we use comparison and judgement to make and hold ourselves to live a lesser life then what we are able to live? And if we do so, what then is our contribution to the world we live in?
We can only feel better or lesser than the other when we are not in connection with ourselves first. Otherwise it would be impossible as we would feel we are all one and the same but only differ by behaviour, skin colour, social status, culture, language and so on because of the choices we have made in life.
WE may not feel any judgement toward a certain person but when someone else begins to express criticism we can get swept away with this, finding ourselves agreeing with another’s judgement. This is not helpful and ironically only serves to separate and cause disharmony. Staying centred in ourselves and not being afraid to stay true to ourselves and stand our own ground stops this harmful energy having sway. The other of course may react to our lack of sympathy and become frustrated and again it is our connection to the love in us that allows us to stay clear and free of outward influence. I can’t say I have mastered this but I am certainly being offered a lot of practise.
“Are we willing to learn from and see others as an inspiration, rather than a threat to our own way of being?” Such an important question to ask ourselves, I know myself if I hold judgement in my body it feels horrible, recently i have been realising that if there is underlying judgement for myself I am more likely to hold others also in judgement, where as if I accept myself and all my flaws and am I am more likely to accept all others.
I was observing a situation recently where someone acted so extreme and so out of line towards another that it was totally shocking. Then I observed people’s responses to this and there was judgement and vindication of the person acting out. I got to see how that keeps the person in it, they are then not just up against needing to correct their actions but also needing to deal with all the judgements and reactions too which are then there and also add to the possibility of them repeating these actions.
Judgement only offers cementation to the person and poison to oneself.
When someone assumes the role of ‘greater’ it is an immediate dismissal of all that is equally great in another, – yet ironically their ‘better’ stance is keeping them lesser.
Love it Rosanna! – the moment we try and act greater than another and therefore treat them as lesser, we are in fact giving away the fact that we actually hold ourselves as lesser for if we really connected with and accepted our divinity and grandness we would never need to be better or greater than any other.
The ridiculous thing is, so often we judge people purely on their physicality, be that their weight, their clothes, their accent, their skin colour etc. Such ridiculously superficial insignificances and yet they provide us with enough ammunition to be able to fire off a few shots or even a few rounds.
When we focus on our perceived differences and judge them as a problem, we miss the fact that we are all one and equal in our essence. Knowing that love, joy, harmony are all our true qualities. A foundation from which each of us can make an invaluable contribution with our unique angle of expression.
To be able to attack another means that we have already been under pretty heavy attack from ourselves first.
We have always been our own worst enemy!
It’s not enough to ‘think’ that we’re all the same, we have to know that we’re all the same with our bodies. When we ‘think’ we’re all the same, there is still room for judgement to come in but when we know that we’re all the same One Unified Energy with our bodies then there is no gap for judgement to come in, because the knowing is all pervasive.
Yes Alexis, when we come from the mind we can say nice things, the things that people want to hear. But when we connect to our body there might be another message to be shared, a message from love that will not be nice at all but all encompassing and filled with love which is the One unified Energy that we live in.
Lack of love for others stems from lack of love for ourselves, there’s no where else it can come from.
When we fully understand this Alexis, it means the natural next step is to take responsibility for what we have created.
We are now seeing the precipitation of the abuse that has been happening in our culture and relationships with each other for many years – racism, violence, acid attacks and ‘extreme’ discrimination may go through phases of severity e.g. racism was enormous in America in the early 1900s, but what is concurrent underneath the surface is the inequality in how we fundamentally treat each other. Thus there will be attacks like this until we start to truly respect every person in our lives.
Indeed. The battle fields may change; trenches, streets, social media, schools, home, sports pitches, political chambers…but the abuse is all from the same source; separation and inequality.
“What gives me the right to think I am greater because I have made different choices? ” Great question Nicole, what does give us the right to think we are greater than another due to choices we make. Why do we think we are more superior than others? And this cycle is so complicated because if you stop making those choices, are you less? And if other people make better choices than you, are they greater than you?
“What gives me the right to think I am greater because I have made different choices?” It is very powerful to bring it back to our choices, and that that is the only thing that make us differ in what we have and how we experience life. There is just a matter-of-fact-ness about this that does not leave space for judgement, it is just observation.
Absolutely. The physical difference of our situations (whether it be colour of skin, creed or financial wealth) only becomes an inequality through our choices.
Judgment and separation are insidious ways of being. They permeate so much further than we choose to be aware of because they are being used to mask our own insecurities.
When we compare we will in most cases deem ourselves greater or lesser then another, it is why we compare, to place ourselves and our worth within the whole. And so without a deep knowing of who we are and connection to the love we are ourselves it is impossible to see this equally so in others.
I am noticing how much I can sense when comparison and judgement is present. It is like it stands out more so than ever before because I have started to allow myself to be aware of it. I no longer try to brush it aside or avoid it because I am much more willing to face and address comparison and judgement whenever it comes up. It is like absorbing poison into my body whenever I contribute or ignore it.
We need to find a way to bring justice and consequences to people who choose to act in these abusive ways, without condemning them and further cementing the hate and separation. There are many past hurts that have occurred over history that we hold on to and act from – we need to begin to live in a way that heals them rather than perpetuating them
You say it all at the start of the blog by stating:
‘Yet no matter how different that livingness may look, and regardless of colour, sex or race, within we are all the same. ‘
So nothing, really nothing can justify any judgement or comparison.
“What if we began to love and accept ourselves in full, dropped our own walls of protection that we have built and let people see our own vulnerabilities and imperfections?” This is a great question. If we did this as well as acknowledged and appreciated the learning and changes we have made in our lives, it would be clear that each of us is going through a cycle of learning, healing, deepening and evolving. A wonderful reminder that there is no need to judge ourself or anyone else.
Accepting others starts with accepting ourselves. If we’re constantly in comparison with ourselves, pitting ourselves against where we think we should be, there’s no appreciation, no joy and no expansion. Living in and with a sense of appreciation of all that we have learned so far, and accepting ourselves as imperfect, inspires us to keep going and keep learning – and once we start doing that with ourselves, it then becomes easy or the natural next step to be that way with others, too.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us. It is a choice we need to make to be accepting of all others without judgement’ We need to accept and love ourselves first then it becomes easier to accept others.
Yes Nicole . We add to the atrocities of the world the moment we are not living the fullness of our being.
Thank you Nicole for the reminder that any time I judge myself or others I am contributing to the seed of judgement in the world.
The more I observe judgement and where it comes from the more I see that it is itself one of the key aspects that creates individualisation. If there was no judgement then there would be complete acceptance and understanding of everyone and what we all choose. War cannot even be imagined when we are living in such harmony.
The corrosiveness of acid is no different from the damaging effect of any judgement we make about ourselves or others and the negative impact on our relationships with others.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us.’ This is a true statement, but can be a challenge to accept. We have such a huge propensity to look outside of ourselves and blame others around us, without seeing the contributions we make to the parts of life we do not like… and we make a bigger contribution to the ills of the world than we would like to admit.
Since reading this blog I have been paying more attention to my thoughts and am amazed at how often those little thoughts pop in that are judgemental of myself or others. The good news is once these thoughts are ‘caught’ they can easily be stopped and changed and so they should for they are the seeds of separation in humanity which are actually preventing us from being united and a more harmonious way of living for all.
I felt judged yesterday big time. Initially I felt hurt but I couldn’t allow myself to indulge into what had happened. What I was really saying to myself was that the incident that had happened wasn’t worth judging and being hard on myself. It made me realise how I can go into blaming myself regardless what happens instead of seeing that each and everyone of us is responsible for what occurs in life and that there is never anyone to blame. It also made me realise how we, myself included can go into self righteousness and how arrogant and imposing this behaviour truly is.
Nicole, this is a great question; ‘What gives me the right to think I am greater because I have made different choices? I may appear more ‘well-off,’ have a ‘better’ lifestyle or health and vitality, but who am I to separate myself from, or see myself as greater than another?’ I can feel there is so much judgement that goes on with each other in our society. All of the gossip and talking about people as if we are ‘right’ and others are ‘wrong’ for what they are choosing and how they are. This is so separative and not understanding or accepting of others and their choices and differences.
The bible says money is the root of all evil but is not man the actual root? Our atrocities are made by our hands and changing what we have created to love and understanding of all, is also in our hands.
It is quite sobering to think that our judgements are contributing to these atrocities such as acid attacks and the like. We don’t want to believe this fact.
I went into total judgment of someone yesterday that I saw littering, I have to say if I’m honest I can’t stand people who litter, it does my head in. Anyway in my head I went into all this judgement about what sort of person he was and then I had to bring it all back to more of an understanding or what this is this showing me if it upsets me so.
Kev I can relate to this, going into judgment, maybe not saying out loud but still judging before being open and loving.
I am so with you on this lesson Kev, the reflections that irritate me the most are my soul saying – “hey how about looking at this as a pattern of behaviour in your life”. You may not physically litter but do you litter emotionally, energetically? I can only say that, like this blog, when I take the responsibility to the bigger picture, the unseen as well as the seen and bring in an energetic factor, I am back to not feeling so judgmental after all. It is all too often a very humble pie moment!
A great call, Nicole. I do recognize those separative thoughts myself, too. I may not act upon it, but I do recognize the seed that has the same potential as those of more extreme behavior. The discomfort I feel in admitting this feels to be something I have been trying to avoid all along. How else could it ever be if I continue to hold back the true essence of what I am? To love unconditionally is not even an ideal, it is what we come back to in living what we naturally are.
Only the arrogant mind is able to compare and to judge but when we connect from our body we can feel we are all one and the same and not worse or any better than the other. In that connection there is no space for any judgement or comparison of any form and can we feel that we are here to help one anther to get a greater understanding of life in the current form.
Nicole I love your honesty: “I was actually contributing to the atrocities of the world – the same atrocities that I so despised.” That was exactly what I did and I was not aware of it too. Therefore I love it that you share this fact. More of us need this little hint to be more responsible – we are constantly contributing to how the world is in the moment.
Energy does not measure. It is either expressed from a source that is love or from the source that is not. This means that any form of judgement is no greater or lesser than another, as you are so clearly highlighting for us here Nicole. Even having a thought “How can that person do that?” is a judgement. When we fine tune it to this degree and in light of the truth that it is our judgement of others that inhibits our ability to read the energy at play in any situation, we really get a sense of how deep into this mess we are.
A person very wisely said to me that ‘being judgemental says way more about the person that is judging another, than the person that is being judged’.
It is also a poison that sits in the body of the one casting judgement and not in the one who is seemingly being condemned.
Waking up to the impact of judgement is an important place to start, then we are open to the learning on offer.
Nicole I too have become very aware of just how often I judge others. But in saying that I have ‘become aware’, I am also aware enough to know that the times that I am aware of myself judging others, is just the very tip of the iceberg because if I’m really honest being judgemental is almost a narrative for me.
When we make this flip in approach and see the revelations for us when we judge others, the world and our relationships will be very different.
If we place conditions on love then it’s a sure sign that it’s not love.
We think of poison as purely the toxic substances in bottles and the like but truly the greatest poison we all know is overlooking our love in life. When this is what we do we splatter everyone else about with actions that aren’t true. It’s time we stayed connected and committed to who we are and stopped letting the poison through. Thanks Nicole.
We cannot ever heal the judgements, hate, anger and bitterness that fills those who act in these terrible ways by also judging them and finding ways of punishing them in return. We cannot heal abuse with further abuse – eventually people have to realise that often these acts of abuse are trying to incite hate and fear and separation – we need to unify and respond with love and absolute consequences.
Wonderful to read this. This last week I’ve been catching myself being judgemental and how quickly it seems to be happening. But rather than judge myself as bad, it’s another layer of observation to allow. I’m so used to trying to ignore the fact that I do judge, my allowing myself to observe it and call it out, does allow me to feel the loveliness of the person I have judged. Through observation I’ll have the chance to see what’s going on. I don’t have to be fearful of it. Even though it feels so ugly, by being honest about this I can start to feel how ugly judgement is and how it does not belong inside of us.
We need look no further than our own homes for abuse in this word of ours.
I’m sure at some stage we have lived the lives that we now judge in others. Reincarnation should help teach us that, in the greater scheme of things, we have no right whatsoever to judge another.
There is something very simple in this. When we judge others it is often a pattern we have not addressed in ourselves that is being exposed. We can either stay in the judgement and divisiveness of this or bring some honesty and understanding into our relationship with ourselves.
Nicole, as I let go of judgement of myself I am finding that I am also as a result much less judgmental of others and have found that the people I judged the most are just the same as me and as you say often are often the ones I can learn the most from; ‘those I judge and compare myself to the most, more often than not are the ones I am able to learn the most from.’ It feels very gorgeous to let people in instead of holding these judgments.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us’ This is a strong and needed call to action for humanity to think about. If we judge someone, even slightly (and I would deny one person in this world to say that they don’t), is that not contributing to judgement in this world, and from this there are people who take this to the nth degree and the bigger atrocities occur. Great food for thought Nicole.
Our judgements hold an energy and have an effect whether we speak them or not.
Brilliant blog Nicole, thank you for exposing the many ways we can go into comparison, judgement and harm. How we are in our life does in fact impact on what is going on in our world. To bring awareness to how we contribute to the rest of humanity is a great start and also by embracing love and a greater level of responsibility is what our world is crying out for. I too have been aware of the subtle thoughts of comparison and judgement that creeps in. I used to not want to recognise it and at times have denied it by not allowing myself to feel but recently I have been allowing myself to fully feel comparison and judgement. I am then more able to study it and learn from what I am feeling. By being honest and open with myself about these thoughts it supports me to address what is going on, otherwise it will just reappear time and time again until I stop, take responsibility and clear what I am allowing through my body. The most supportive first step is to allow myself to feel everything without judging myself but with love and understanding.
Yes Nicole well said. If we don’t like what we see we change it in ourselves first. When we have taken responsibility for our contribution to the problem we become a living example of how to not have this infliction and this naturally inspires others without us even having to open our mouths.
Thank you for writing this just the other day I felt this awful holier than thou attitude happening and it is so horrible to feel this.
“Then came the realisation that by doing this, seeing myself as greater than, better than or in a greater/luckier situation than another, I was actually contributing to the atrocities of the world – the same atrocities that I so despised.” The moment of awakening to the awareness that we are all responsible for every abuse that have ever occurred, and that we have a choice to change that.
Gill how great that we get to debase and debunk judgement, I know for myself its something that zaps my energy levels if I allow it to be part of my life.
‘The atrocities of the world begin with us’ – This puts it back into our court. It makes it a reality that when we judge others we are feeding the mass scale of separation. When we judge – people feel it. No words need to be spoken. so we have to ask ourselves what is it we contribute, and does the judgment start with ourselves first? I’ve often found that something I don’t accept within myself is what I don’t accept in others.
To separate from one another to which we naturally are connected to, we need to use a force.
And comparison and judgement are two of these forces we use to keep this separation alive. The more separation we live the more comparison and judgement is entering into our lives and societies as a result.
Nicole, I love how you bring it back to our own contribution to the lovelessness in the world today. My comparison adds to what is happening in the world. I love observing where I make myself bigger or smaller than another as an indication on which aspect of myself I can learn. All we want deep down inside is working together with purpose, true brotherhood.
Man, when I really feel the extent to how deeply entrenched judgement is, it is huge! Like MASSIVE! But then if we are all grander than judgement then how Gigantically huge must we all be inside? And if we are all playing small in life we must be playing really small, like really really small because we do come from a dude by the name of God who is even more Massively Gigantic than we could even imagine
Love this comment Joshua, the magic and glory of who we are reinstated, reconfirmed.
When I feel the love for myself, I cannot judge no matter what is placed in front of me. I feel the connection to myself so strongly that nothing can get in the way of this connection. I see things for what they are with no reaction but an absolute love. If I wobble which is likely I have a choice to either stay with me or lose myself and feed the judgement. Do I have enough love for me to hold myself is the question?
I find it interesting how it is the same people in my life that I tend to judge and have always judged in some way, shape or form which I am increasingly becoming more aware… the tension that is there and has always been there between us to be accepted, appreciated and learnt from to evolve.
Recently at a local primary school, it was harmony day and you had to dress up as your culture. What was so incredibly beautiful was that most of the kids just picked a culture they wanted to dress up as. There was no “my culture”, it was just culture. It was a beautiful way of celebrating harmony day as the kids reflected true harmony – we live in a world where we might look different and come from different places but that’s not important, let’s just have fun.
That’s amazing Nikki – I find children at a young age really do know naturally how to live in harmony with each other.
Thank you Nicole for highlighting how whenever I judge another I am contributing to the poisonous atmosphere that allows crimes such as acid attacks to occur in our society. I am aware that I judge others multiple times every day and whilst these fleeting thoughts may seem innocuous compared to acid attacks they are still a damaging way of keeping myself separate from others and not appreciating what the other person may be reflecting to me.
Great blog Nicole, offering a very powerful reflection of how deeply rooted the insidious and arrogant nature of judgement over others is and how it divides and separates rather unifying us in true brotherhood.
“For myself, I am only now seeing how deeply seeded these thoughts are and how we allow them to run us and just how much they keep us in the separation of life and the love we ultimately can have for each other”.
I must admit this blog has put me to shame a bit as here I am living in London where bombs, acid attacks and stabbings have taken place – reading an article in the news today it said that in this year alone in London 26 young people have been killed! 26!!! Yet I have not put pen to paper to ask why as you have done. The thing is it doesn’t matter where we live in the world everything that is going on within it affects us and how we live contributes to what is going on in the world. Do we ignore it, deny it, tolerate it, accept it, demand it or supply it. And how we view others is a big contribution to this. Ultimately, when we judge or compare it is not even truly us it is an energy coming through us that we have not discerned or are 100% aware of.
This is a great exposure of judgement. Judgement is judgement in a lesser or more extreme version, it is the same thing. You have invited me, Nicole through this blog to look at where in my life I judge and hold an arrogance of superiority… this can be in the subtlest of forms. Whilst I hold this, there is no space to hold others and myself with a full and complete deep understanding and acceptance.
“those I judge and compare myself to the most, more often than not are the ones I am able to learn the most from.” I’ve experienced this and goes to show that we do know where and from who our next lesson is coming from.
Great blog and I can feel how insidious this judgement and comparison thing is and how most people are doing it all the time and what’s more the recipients of this can feel that it is happening and how it hurts them.
Judgement and comparison pave the way for the force of jealousy to enter and decimate our expression of the truth, love and wisdom we would otherwise live.
Thank you Nicole, if we live on the surface of life then we may only see the physical differences, but when we live from our inner heart and soul we know we are all the same, all equal, and that it’s not just possible but actually very natural to live in unity and brotherhood. Because we have stepped away from this part of ourselves that loves equally, articles such as yours are so important because we need to see how everyone contributes to judgement and inequality, energies that contribute to the divisiveness that is the foundation for more obvious abuses and atrocities against others.
‘ The atrocities of the world begin with us.’ I agree, so if we want the world to change we need to start with ourselves. By learning to love me I can love others. More understanding and less judgement of where others are at. We can always learn something from those who are different to ourselves.
If I look at how I am as honestly as you have here Nicole, I can see how vigilant I have to be with myself to not slip into judgement or comparison of another. It is as though they are still there waiting to pounce if I let down my guard or lose myself for a moment. Now if I could truly accept myself for just being me and accept all others as total equals, none above or below, as I have seen others master, then and only then this would no longer be a problem and others would feel this and be inspired just like I have been when I have seen others master it.
Being a student of mastering equality… I am super keen to learn here.
Judgement comes in many guises; it can be when we think ourselves lesser than another and when we see ourselves as lesser than the image we have of how we think we should be. The moment we don’t appreciate the natural equal beingness of everyone we can be in judgement and comparison.
In response to your article Nicole, I would say that there are many who do not believe that we are all the same on the inside, that there are fundamental differences and in these there is a sense of ‘right and wrong’. I understand that what you are presenting is about truth, but much of the world views truth as personal and not with a universal view that holds everyone equally. So, it can be challenging to be in the world, knowing that we are all equal and yet watching acts and behaviours which are nothing to do with this. But, as you say, change starts with love and this is in everyone, this is unifying, even if beliefs are in the way – love is the substantial marker of truth.
Feeling judged is a very horrible experience as you can feel it without someone pouring acid over you or shouting at you and often I find it more challenging when people are nice to you but still you can feel that they judge you.
Well spotted, Lieke, for when someone is being ‘nice’ when they do not really mean can feel worse than the overt judgment.
Do not our judgements of others, leave scars inside of us that are not seen but felt by others?
Perhaps those scars are not too dissimilar to the acid burns.
True. That is always felt. When we come with openness and love and true intent then that is also felt too.
When I judge another I bring it back to myself and see where I have a similar judgement about myself, or the person is triggering something in me. It is not really about the other, they are just a reflection for me to bring greater understanding, love and healing to an aspect of myself.
Such a great sharing Mary-Louise. And very true. I have also done and realised this – that any judgement or the like I place on others I am first doing to myself rather than just letting myself be me and at ease and content with that. When we allow ourselves we allow others to just be and are accepting of all.
That is so true Mary-Louise about how judgement of others starts with self-judgement, even though it may be really difficult to admit it sometimes (I can vouch for that one!). But I have also noticed that when I looked inside to see what the reflection was for me with my relationships that were at times difficult or challenging it has resulted in me deepening my understanding of others. When I stopped to read what is going on for them and opened my heart up a little more by dropping the protection I had built up with them after feeling hurt by their actions and judging them to be lesser than me.
Some of my greatest self-realisations and healings have come from acknowledging that a judgment of another is triggering something in me and addressing what has been triggered.
We have to ask ourselves what has happened to the world and ourselves that drives us to carry out willful acts of terror and violence. It is an indictment of our times and reflects how far we’ve become disconnected from our true essence and separate from other human beings. Deep wounds carried within, left unresolved become a vengeful weapon intent on causing maximum damage by wounding, scarring or killing another. This is a consequence of forgetting we are in essence love and equal to every other human being.
There are so many subtle ways that we can separate and compare ourselves to another. I see the inequality a lot when it comes to workplaces and where job titles are seen as better than or less than. The thing is, the ones that are putting themselves better than don’t think that the ones they look down on even know how they feel… but they do.
If every time a judgment runs through me I call it out and pay 10 cents, wonder how much money will be collected at the end of a day?
The price would go up with awareness because the more aware we become the more aware we become of how much we judge under the guise of other names even good names such as acceptance!