From the moment a baby boy is born he is only after one thing. Maybe his parents will cradle him in their arms and hold him to their chests, appreciating his delicateness and warmth. Maybe he will be safe and loved, honoured in his perfect imperfection, or perhaps he will be left to cry alone, born addicted to drugs or into a million other less than desirable scenarios: it won’t change what he is after though, because he’s only after one thing.
Within days he might be given his first football jersey, if not it’s almost certain that he will be dressed in blue. If he’s lucky it might be a year or two before someone tells him to ‘man up’ and stop crying. He will learn to wipe away his tears and soon enough he will learn to hold it all inside. He will do what he needs to do because he’s only after one thing.
He might hold on to his sensitivity for a while. You will see it when he caresses a newborn baby’s face, tenderly tucks his teddy bear in or cries when his favourite cartoon character faces a tough moment. If he does manage to hold onto his sensitivity it won’t be long before he starts being asked to change. He will hear the words ‘mummy’s boy,’ ‘baby,’ ‘soft’ and ‘sensitive,’ and because he is so sensitive he will know that none of these words is a compliment. He will look to the men in his life to find out how to be in this world because he only wants one thing.
When he goes to school he will learn to play the class clown, the good student, the sportsman or the troublemaker. When he shows his sensitive side he might hear new words; words like ‘gay,’ ‘sissy,’ ‘pussy,’ ‘wuss.’ He won’t even need his sensitivity to know that these words mean trouble this time. If he’s smart he will start calling other boys these names – the openly sensitive ones may even find their faces in contact with his fists. Either way, he will find a way through because he’s only after one thing.
Puberty arrives. His voice breaks, it is time to “be a man.” Girls are interesting again for a whole new host of reasons. Pornography is old news as it is more than likely that he has seen it all before. If he feels attracted to women he may find the world of sex and stimulation exciting and if he has already sensed that ‘gay’ is not a slur but a label for his natural way of expressing in relationship he may struggle to come to terms with it all. Either way he is only after one thing.
He or his partner might struggle with body image. He may look to sports’ stars or celebrities to inform him of his worth and standing. Life is a competition that he is subconsciously choosing to win or lose. He will stoically face the stresses of everyday life, arguments, jobs, money, family. If he cracks he will try to keep it on the down low. If things get really bad he will end it all rather than open up and talk about it. The world has already made it clear that his natural sensitivity is something to be ashamed of and after all, he’s only after one thing.
The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are. I have spent much of my life despairing over the fact that men seemed to be “after only one thing”… until I began to realise that men are after the same thing that every woman is after.
I now have men in my life that have reconnected to their divine essence. These men respect their natural sensitivity; they cry when they feel sad and they express how they feel. They have shown me what a true man is.
The presence of these men in my life has been deeply healing and eye opening to say the least. As the realisation of the true sensitivity of men comes to light, the horror of the competition, war, greed and violence that is very much a part of our false construction of modern masculinity is exposed for the lie that it is. It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity because in truth, we all want only one thing.
To live truly free to express the love that we are.
By Leonne Sharkey, Melbourne
Further Reading:
Sensitive – We All Are It
Raising Boys
A letter to my Son
It is like we are all in a vice and are squeezed to not feel our essences so by the time we are able to Truly discern what life is all about the Truth of our sensitivity has been slashed, squashed, squandered and poked into a corner of what we have been set up to believe is normal. And when we meet an openly delicate being our hearts reach out to also reconnect to that level of sensitivity.
It is a sorry state of humanity when a man does not feel free to live and express with the natural sensitivity that he is. It is a blessing for all that there is a growing number of men who are reclaiming their true essence of sensitivity and tenderness.
Ever since the so called garden-of-eden, we all have been corrupted with a multitude of layers, that take us away from feeling our sensitivity, and thus being open and transparent with each other.
When we project onto men or anyone for that matter who we think they are they are left condemned in our judgment of them, far better to stay open and to be open to all that one can read.
Its really only when we honour that tenderness in ourselves that we can see it truly in others.
Men are equally sensitive, ‘The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are. I have spent much of my life despairing over the fact that men seemed to be “after only one thing”… until I began to realise that men are after the same thing that every woman is after.’
We are all after the one thing, ‘Brotherhood’ and this is not about our mates but working together as one family that shares a deepening transparency in all we do.
Yes Greg, ‘Brotherhood’ and I would add Love to the package.
When we openly express and move in a way that is about our essences then we are deepening our love as we continue to evolve and simply reflect the deeper levels of our loving essence to others.
Unless a man truly honours his natural tenderness and sensitivity then the man will be only after one thing however it is a responsibility as a parent to raise our boys knowing who they are and to do this we must live our sensitivity, tenderness and openess first to offer a reflection of what it means to live the love that we are.
“Men are only after one thing” – yes, and the same for women too where the one thing – is true intimacy and being held for who they truly and so sensitively are.
It is true the every man and every woman is after one thing however it is important to realise that in truth everyone has a spirit and that spirit does not truly want to live or receive the love the human is seeking. If it did it would not be a spirit! This is important because without this basic understanding nothing in this world will truly change.
Thank you Leonne, the beauty of who we all are, equally. How can we not be equal?
Men are beautiful.
Absolutely Leonne, it is time to start appreciating the true power of men.
With this said, I am in awe of what is being presented here now and by Serge Benhayon through the teachings of Universal Medicine. For these teachings show us that we are everything; super sensitive, loving beings that have invested in spending a life lived from an energy that we are not.
Yes, beautifully expressed Ariana, we are all after one thing, love and it is in each and every one of us, all we have to do is connect to it and share it with everyone.
Men are deeply sensitive, tender and loving and if we do not get to see this then it simply means it has been hidden for whatever reason. Naturally, we are all deeply loving and all we have to do is let it out and share this with the world.
Accepting and inviting ones true expression holds the greatest form of love for another where there is no gender at play!
If there is a reason to inspire me to honour my sensitivity and tenderness, that is to expose the hardness and bullying from men .. this will be my motto for work tomorrow and all else I will be (from now on).
A beautiful sharing Leonne, about the true nature of men, that like all women men are naturally tender and sensitive if only this is honoured and allowed to be nurtured as they are growing up, what a very different world we would live in.
Sensitivity is equally within us all, we all feel it, but it is not valued and this makes for a very dysfunctional world. To not honour our sensitivity we need to build up a hardness and in building up a hardness we express in the polar opposite way to our natural essence which creates a cycle of denial. The fear of standing out and being targeted simply feeds that cycle of denial. Thank you for laying it out so simply Leonne.
Men may be after a thing or two but they are running away from acknowledging their sensitivity and how powerful they are in that sensitivity.
Thank you Leonne for this unraveling of a societal structure that we have so falsely built that men need to be rough and tough and strong and invincible, all the while they have always been as tender and sensitive as they have been as little boys.
It is so true that underneath all the facade, the ideal, beliefs and lies of what is deemed as masculinity and what is the be a man, is everything that a real man already is in all his tenderness, love and wisdom. And yes we all do want to freely live and express who we are in essence, both men and women alike. You have highlighted so poignantly just how much responsibility we all hold in allowing and supporting each other to be who we are in essence.
Thank you Leonne, exposing the lies us men have been living is sorely needed, as I look back it took a lot to entomb my sensitivity.
Yes Greg amd the exposing fact that we all have let it come that way. We deserve so much more and truly better: lets start by becoming more sensitive to with how we truly feel and express this with each other and truly listen to each other.
Yes the picture of men being naturally tough and rough could not be further from the truth of men.
Beautiful Leonne, thankyou so much writing such amazing words that are clear and simple to understand. Your contribution to the world of men is a golden drop of sunshine in a sea of murky waters.
It is totally mad how we are not supported to stay the sensitive and tender boys/men that we innately are and in most cultures it is actually frowned upon if we do. I know it is changing slowly but not fast enough for my liking as I can easily picture a world where there is no war , conflict or even contact sports because we have realised our true nature.
I am with you and can feel the potential of living our Soulfulness here together. This is what inspires me everyday to bring to my relationships this quality of connection and honoring, without perfection of course, but with all that I can.
It is a major source of disempowerment of men.
We go into our ‘behaviours’ because of the deep unsettlement we have from not feeling truly met and loved as we are from young and being seen in our beautiful sensitivity and tenderness. The answer to our woes is simple but certainly not a quick fix.
All of us, no matter who we are – and what our behaviours shows – all deep down want love, unfortunately many people can get confused as to how to get that love and many can search in all the wrong places.
When we realise love is found within we can at last drop the incessant search thinking that love is something we need to acquire.
What a beautiful spin on the saying, ‘Men are only after one thing’ and when we can all come to grips with what that truly is, that will be when the true fun starts.
” It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men”
This is true and thank you for sharing . Its also time for men to appreciate our true power and the equal-ness that this brings to us all as men.
I’ve married a man who constantly blows me away with how sensitive, sweet and tender he can be and he shows me that these qualities are actually innate to every man and every one.
Often men think they are only after sex, but can they be honest enough with themselves to admit that it is true intimacy and love that they are seeking, and that sex is simply a way for them to feel like they are getting that. Opening to true intimacy takes courage, and sex has become a cheap and easy way of avoiding it. To admit this is the first step to healing this and opening to true love.
This is of course true for both sexes.
I grew up being told that men were only after one thing and that was sex – how wrong was that piece of information that was carried down from generation to generation. We have to challenge the beliefs that are presented to us that are absolute lies.
Beautiful Leonne, that is : we are all wanting the same thing — hence we stem off from the same essence who belongs to that — and that is love. That is why wars do not actually make sense if we look deeper in to this all..
The men I know today are living in a way that is deeply caring and sensitive and it is a joy to observe this. To have a marker in my body of men in connection with themselves. Universal Medicine has provided a community of people who are making these kind of loving choices and reflecting to the world that this is another way to be.
Sometimes we can go looking for relief and connection in our hobbies and relationships however they rarely offer the connection to our innermost and tenderness that we are craving.
The roles forced into both genders ask us all to step far away from who we are.
We’re all after something we had the whole time. Like a bizarre game of treasure hunt we go round and round the maze of life, till we see that this world is our friend, and it’s only us who has been denying our light the whole time. Why hold back Love when as you beautifully say Leonne, it’s all we ever truly want. We can choose it today.
Loving ourselves is the starting point for us sharing and bringing this love to all.
To be free to express the love that we are means to appreciate all that we are and not hold back, to allow ourselves to feel the love in our bodies and live in, and with, that love.
As boys we are so set up to leave our sensitivity, love and tenderness in the cot and it is not very long before we are told to man up and if we are a bit slow to do that we are likely to get teased or bullied. The times are a changing though with more of us returning to love and setting up the way for the old blue for boys squad to be a thing of the past.
To come from ‘Men are only after one thing’ to ‘we all want only one thing. And that is ‘To live truly free to express the love that we are.’ is the truth and will be accepted in time and yes, it is what life is about to live in a way that is natural to us.
It is gorgeous to know men who are deeply sensitive and who are not afraid to show it. Men who have wanted to heal any protection or hurts and who communicate with the depth of sensitivity they naturally are.
Men in their tenderness do have an ability to melt the hardest of protections. Which fostering that rough and tought exterior goes against that innate sensitivity.
‘The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are. I have spent much of my life despairing over the fact that men seemed to be “after only one thing”… until I began to realise that men are after the same thing that every woman is after.’ Gorgeous Leonne – we are all indeed searching for the same thing –Love.
Great to revisit this blog, Leonne, and its message about love as the common denominator within all of us, regardless of gender, age or race.
What a damaging lie it is to think that men are only after one thing (being sex). We are all after one thing in life and that is to be loved.
So very true Rebecca, there is nothing greater when we love ourselves and then share this love with another. It is all any of us really want and because we do not always get it we then seek lesser versions and crave it rather than saying it is either love or not and I am not going to accept any less.
When I heard someone say this in the past ‘men are only after one thing’ I have felt how much this was expressed from a place of hurts. So, what you’ve expressed here feels true to me, that ‘we are all after one thing in life and that is to be loved’ and love is within all of us.
If women join men in the showing ‘I am tough’ stakes, then there is nowhere to go except trying to be tougher and rougher. It makes sense to me, that the more women allow themselves to be women… to show their delicateness and sensitivity the more this will allow men to do the same.
“….because in truth, we all want only one thing. To live truly free to express the love that we are” – beautiful words and ending to an amazing read that turns over the euphemist notion of ‘only one thing’ i.e sex, into true love and essentially the expression of this.
‘ As the realisation of the true sensitivity of men comes to light, the horror of the competition, war, greed and violence that is very much a part of our false construction of modern masculinity is exposed for the lie that it is.’ We are so missing out when we encourage men to bury and fight their beautiful, innate sensitivity.
The search for love is common amongst us all, and once it is found within, the search is over.
Then the lifelong commencement of clearing all that we have placed over and above it begins.
A beautiful photo and a beautiful sharing and honouring of who we all are and our innate expression of this .
Yes, we all want love, and yet we are that love, just most of us are not living it yet, ‘To live truly free to express the love that we are.’
It’s so good how you bring it back to that one thing we are all looking for that is love. It takes away all the lies of the differences we have men to be from women and the other way around. What we find is that equalness is always there, there is no difference between you and I only the illusion of “different” we have put in the way, which is not our true reality anyway.
Don’t men say “women are only after one thing” too, only the one thing is meant to be marriage and kids. I reckon it’s all our responsibility individually to live in a way that does not perpetuate these gender stereotypes – I’m a woman and I am not after marriage or kids or pinning a man down – but love I’m always open to – and I think that’s a great starting point.
It is so deeply beautiful when men freely express themselves, free from the roles and just open up and share how they feel and what is true for them. So many men are very tender and very gorgeous and this needs to be celebrated. Often women too can cut this down if the man shows more sensitivity than her.
It’s so beautiful to read this blog as it is not something that is written about – the gorgeous qualities of men so often it is only the negative actions we focus on as a society. And they have gotten us not very far at all!
Thank you for honouring a quality in us all Leone, and reminding us that a deeper understanding helps to unpick the messy situation that we find ourselves in.
The old, men are only after one thing, was around in full force when I was younger and it was said quite often by disgruntled women who were either in a relationship, married or still looking. We are quick to judge others so that this deflects away from what we are not addressing within ourselves that we have felt but not been able to move forward with.
How incredible would it be to have women speaking so openly and loving about men to our younger generations to expose a belief for some but not for all.
It has to be a very lonely place when society dictates how we should express ourselves and what is acceptable and what is not – never likely there are more men suiciding these days. There has to be a change in the way we see men and the pictures we hold of what a real man is.
This photo was the first thing to greet me on the website today – a gorgeous way to start the day with this very tender man smiling out from the picture.
I have had many an interesting coversation with gay men about how fragile this created idea of maculinitiy is – it leaves no space for a man to be caring, tender, fragile, to take care of themselves and express who they are, where as in some cases indentifying as gay frees a man up to feel more able to express these qualities. What would society look like, and how would the suicide rates be affected if we re-wrote the book on what it means to be masculine to allow for mens expression of these qualities.
‘He will learn to wipe away his tears and soon enough he will learn to hold it all inside.’ When this is what we learn young boys to do, the world is, like you share Leonne, guaranteed men with masks as thick as ice. Such a contrast of what lives inside every boy every man, the ice will melt when we support men to be the delicacy and tenderness that they innately are.
Very beautifully said Annelies. It is when we claim our own love and express from this that we can then very tenderly wipe down the face of a man who has shut themselves down. And in that tender gesture, and as they watch us move in the grace that they long to see the walls do come down. Because these walls are ultimately there in a fight or fight response to the harshness that they see.
I was on the bus the other night going home from work and a group of guys were going out for Christmas drinks. The conversation lead to them talking about women in a disrespectful manner, which you could see had become their normal. For them to then go on to talk about their girlfriends. All I could sense from it all was deep down they do care for woman but there has become ‘boys banter’ that makes them tough and strong and they slip into this to prove they are one of the boys. Deep down there is none of this in them.
Thats where now the time has come for just one in that group to be a real man and stand up and say this sort of talk is not acceptable anymore, not that it ever was but we should have left it back in the 1970’s when that sort of talk seemed to be really bad. When one of them makes a stand it allows the others to honour what they are capable of feeling too.
As women we miss out on so much when we see men as different – rather than the many qualities that we share. When we compare and compete with men we are subscribing to a world that is lost and devoid of true love.
This is so important to share, how far we have travelled from this truth that men just want to be loved and adored like everyone does. We have to reclaim this truth.
As men allow the world to witness their sensitivity they are allowing the world to recognise that men are naturally sensitive and vulnerable, and the whole of humanity is enriched by the grace of feeling the wealth of understanding that this truth brings.
Yes Susan and women are called to recognise the sensitivity they too have denied in order to allow men to play that game for so long.
It would be amazing to see this in our society. The amazing thing is, I am seeing these changes in most men in my community and it is a joy to witness and meet men that are open to share who they really are.
It’s so true Leonne, I meet so many men in my day to day life who you feel with just a hug and a warm smile will melt. I grew up with so many visions of the tough and brutal way men could be but that simply doesn’t match up with my experience of reality. Really you could say the brutality and craziness we see men act out is simply because they miss so much this precious part of themselves. Men – we are love and so deserve to know this about ourselves.
Yes, Leonne, what a blessing it is to have men in our lives who are strong enough to truly be themselves.
If this one thing we are all after as men, was truly honoured from day one, we would grow up knowing who we are and everything else we seek to fill the void of not having this one thing would no longer be a requirement.
“The world has already made it clear that his natural sensitivity is something to be ashamed of …” This is very true, but it simply should not be the way.
If every man was connected to this beautiful fact how amazing the world of men would be! Such transparency, delicacy and tenderness is not what we are used to in men. As women how would we respond?
When we consider we are all equally the sons of God it has to be that we are all seeking the one thing!
It’s easy to focus on someone’s behaviours and dismiss them because of that. If we look at men and focus on their behaviour only, we could be very fooled. Underneath what can sometimes be a lot of protection, reaction, aloofness, masculinity and so on are beings that want to express love and to be loved. It’s not just men that are like that, it’s women too, only sometimes the behaviours we use to deal, cope and mask it are all different. We all just want love.
Without our own divinely loving inner support system, we are wide open to the huge amount of emotional outplays and stories that can influence us along certain thinking patterns or beliefs from the experiences we have in life and from our choices. When we are connected to soul, we can honour the truth of the person and stay with that truth in our interactions with them.
“The world has already made it clear that his natural sensitivity is something to be ashamed of”. This line made me cringe as it feels so dismissive of how men in essence are but are not allowed to show because society needs men to be the soldiers for the protection of all the ‘good’ it is championing and therefore need the hard and tough men and do tell them that being sensitive is something to be ashamed of.
That has been my experience and in the past that it has always been about the home run so to speak and that was what was called. ‘Did you get a home run’! Over the last years I have been looking at my relationship with myself and this is where I have realised that it was also to do with me and where I was at and what I was attracting. My level of self worth. Today I know many men that are absolutely beautiful gentlemen that are honouring and respecting women to the nth degree and it is gorgeous.
Men or women we can all divert from what we truly want by disconnecting from soul, when we are disconnected from our true-selves we will always look for outside identities.
When I was younger all I wanted to do was play sports. Even though in class I was the classic “class clown, the good student, the sportsman or the troublemaker” rolled into one depending on what was needed. I looked forward to playing golf and then probably lawn bowls as I grew older, but over the last 14 years I have reconnected to my-self.
Thank you Leonne, as I now realise we are all only “looking for one thing” and the sports were only a smoke screen to deviate us away from our sensitivity.
Yes, Leonne, how different would the world be if we supported men to live true to themselves?
There was a time in my life when I liked the fact that men were only after one thing (as in sex), because I used to play ball with this and get lots of attention. However, with the awareness I have now I am quite affronted and feel disrespected if I feel this energy coming at me from a man. I used to use it to feel powerful, but now I know that this was manipulation not true power. Women encourage this from men, and the men just play along. As women if we can hold our awareness and not play ball with this energy it cannot play. We have the power to cut the energy if we hold strong and stay true to ourselves, and demand the respect and love that we deserve.
Experiencing the sweetness of a man who is enjoying his own sensitivity is one of the purest most golden moments in life. It is to be treasured and adored and held as a marker for greatness.
” As the realisation of the true sensitivity of men comes to light, the horror of the competition, war, greed and violence that is very much a part of our false construction of modern masculinity is exposed for the lie that it is. ” And what a huge lie this is , and to think of all the money wasted on this lie, thank you for sharing Leonne .
I can say that all of my life I was never interested in sports and resigned myself to the fact that was just not me. Society’s attitudes toward men are changing, and it is great to openly be who we all indeed are that we have hidden under the hard veneer society created and we have allowed ourselves to carry. What can we bring with our fragility and tenderness to a world that can be hard and loveless?
Leonne -this is gorgeous and shows how men have been pigeonholed into a way of acting in order to get by. But then we miss out on the truth and sensitivity that men bring. I have men in my life who want to talk about what they feel and who ask for support and who are deeply sensitive, and it is so beautiful because it also inspires me as a woman to go deeper.
“If things get really bad he will end it all rather than open up and talk about it.” We have created a world that does not honour the expression or who we are, instead, we have created and feed a world that wants us all to fit into a certain model with no one standing out – unless it is in a pre-approved way that doesn’t rock anyone else’s boat. When someone speaks up and points out collusion or corruption they are swiftly attacked and brought down to size again. Until such time, that is, that enough people say no, this is harming our mental and physical health, we too will stand alongside those who say no and together we make a new normal.
They sure are after one thing – to be seen and met in all the glory that they are!
When we hold back on being all we are, be it man or woman we are denying the world the opportunity to feel how very tender and sensitive we are.
This is so true and it behooves each and everyone of us men who know this to bring this to the world… this cannot help but inspire and break down the old paradigms that entrap the men of this age.
Agreed Chris. It is so important for men with this understanding to bring it, and also for women to support them in this.
Every man is naturally sensitive but what has happened to us as women and our sensitivity? If I cannot accept in full the sensitivity within me and adore its quality then how on earth can I expect the men in my life to accept the sensitivity within themselves? I’m not saying it’s impossible but I do have a responsibility to show and express the sensitivity within me and feel it is a natural thing to do out in the world.
How deeply healing it has been for me also as a man to have women in my life who are saying no to the stereotypes and expectations of the world and living in a way that they feel is their true way.
Beautiful blog Leonne, our essence is what we come here on this earth, and its the only thing we want to live – but as so many of your examples show it needs to be recognised more, for more men to make the choice to live it.
In a discussion on abuse and harassment recently the point came up for us to recognise that when people are being aggressive they are not being their true selves because everyone is tender and sensitive, men as well as women.
I agree with what you say Carmel, by changing our perspective and bringing more understanding to people and how they are behaving, it can diffuse the situation and bring people back from their emotional outburst. And sometimes they can actually articulate what it was they were getting so upset with which helps them to express what they may have been bottling up for a long time.
If we think that men are only after sex it creates a constant defence within women before we have even said hello. Appreciating men for their beautiful qualities is so important, and encourages them to engage in a way that is not sexual. Both sexes are equally responsible for this.
I love it Rebecca, this is so true. We all, men and women are constantly exposed to sexual images that (if we are not aware of that) may condition the way we relate with each other. There is so much more that we can share and the quality of it changes inmensely when we relate from our grandness instead of from an isolated piece of us.
The way we bring up boys is so important and in this we are all responsible. To honour them as being tender and sensitive as they naturally are will encourage them to remain tender and sensitive as they get older.
That is beautifully put Rebecca the consequences of capping our interactions to fear and base needs we will become those and all around us will interact with us in that way.
A beautiful understanding of who we all are and the joy and freedom reflected in our honouring and expression truly of both women and men.’ To live truly free to express the love that we are.’ An amazing way for the world to be
Reconnecting to my tenderness through the support of Serge Benhayon and all that is associated with him I no longer am searching for something to feel complete, instead it is now to deepen and express that tenderness.
When we forget that we are love, we look outside of us for love as we think we don’t have it (both genders). When that doesn’t work, we go for substitutes and for men that is the one thing – relief.
A brilliant piece of writing Leonne in which you expose how far away we have removed ourselves from living what we in-truth all crave to live – being who we truly are, the love we are in essence. But also highlighting that all is not lost as the love we are never leaves, and it is never too late to re-claim living the love we all deeply crave to live.
What a sensational encapsulation of what life has to offer men, and how they can take a different path than what they are offered. Thank you Leonne.
Yes, any time. All they (we) have to do is choose that way as it is permanently available. It sounds silly but it is that simple.
I know it is only semantics, but God is in the detail; the use of the word ‘after’ in the phrase ‘men are only after one thing’ actually puts me into the tension of seeking, searching, pursuing – a tension that can be deeply damaging for so many of us. For in truth, there is nothing to go ‘after’, there is no search or seek or pursuit. We have it all already and one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves, as men is stillness, and then we take that stillness into motion. That is the true expression of a man. I am not ‘after’ anything. I am.
It is deeply sad that in life we become who we are not. A friend gave birth to a most beautiful baby boy yesterday. His tenderness, fragility, openness and gorgeousness is there for all to see. What happens later in life so that we all have the propensity to shut down and go into protection is – I’d say… is a crime. Then we defend the shutting down and being in protection as being normal. What if we all held the beauty we were born with and lived life from the openness of our hearts… the world would operate very differently.
Love has to be experienced from the Energetic level seeing everything is energy first and most of us only know love from the point of view were emotions are involved. I have seen real men cry tears of Joy because of the Love they hold in there body this is emotion-less Love because Love holds us so much that when the True depth was felt tears were the only thing that conveyed how much power was in True Love.
A male person I know took his own life recently, adding to the staggering increasing statistics of male suicides. We all need to start providing an environment where men (and women) can get what they’re truly after – To live truly free to express the love that we are.
‘The presence of these men in my life has been deeply healing and eye opening to say the least.’ I relate to this greatly. Feeling the natural sensitivity of men is so healing, the care men hold women and men in is divine. Competition and aggression have no place.
The common saying that men are after only one thing and that one thing is sex, and true enough if we mistake sex to be love, we actually really just want to express our love and be the love that we are. And the process to return to truly knowing love comes from a deep connection with our most precious body.
This is such a beautiful sharing and very inspiring to appreciate the qualities of men.
One that has just dawned on me that I recognise and appreciate when it happens is, that many many men are incredibly patient. To me this is a direct window to their tenderness and loving nature. So now when a man is openly sharing his patient nature, I’m going to appreciate even more what is truly being offered and meet this openness equally. I’m referring to all of the men here – men I meet anywhere anytime in any capacity, not only the men I know personally – it’s the men I don’t know except for the situation in that moment.
What a good idea Sandra and imagine what we could all learn from applying that in our lives. Men would be stunned to be appreciated – well that is what I have noticed but they melt, just as I do when I feel met for who I am. Talk about global warming!
Sometimes we have to read between the lines of the bravado role player persona, and more and more I’m discovering the cues and clues to the vulnerable sensitive side of a man are simply there, patiently waiting.
From day one we don’t stand a chance, some of my earliest memories were watching old westerns with actors like John Wayne as the hero, what does this teach an impressionable boy that it is ok to fist fight, shoot people and slap women? It is crazy how far we have got it wrong when all we really do need is love.
Great call. I remember a few years ago I introduced my kids to The Dukes of Hazard and was so appalled to see what my upbringing had been! Recently they saw a trailer for the Baywatch movie – it feels like “The Dukes of Hazard” – they nailed it!
Whether man or woman we all seek to be seen for who we truly are and loved without compromise or conditions. Men are no different from women concerning this truth.
When you’re full of the love that you innately are, you feel everyone else equally as love, and nothing else comes into it.
The picture of the man in this article will cause a lot of comments in men, at least in my culture. Such open expression of a man is very unaccepted and self-judged in our culture from buying into the picture that men are inexpressive of their feelings or affections. So it is an amazing reflection to see this.
It goes to show how strong ‘culture’ can be when it prevents a man from being who he truly is – in the UK there is the ‘Stiff upper lip’ brigade and men are praised for being ‘stoic’. Women too tend to put on a hard ‘I’m fine’ exterior when they are truly feeling vulnerable. I’ve certainly done that and am now discovering my fragility.
This is beautiful Leonne, “It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity because in truth, we all want only one thing. To live truly free to express the love that we are.”
Since learning about men and their innate tenderness, I have changed my approach to all men so that instead of being afraid or dominated I can allow myself to appreciate the sensitivity that is beneath the hard exterior and meet the man from that point of understanding. It feels very different.
No matter how a man or a woman put up a front or protection, it can never be more appealing than the truth of them, the real and honest and tender person. For everyone who has not shown this side of themselves for a long time, it would feel vulnerable or even impossible, until they see others are also being that themselves. So it is very simple how men and women can support each other and we are so blessed to be able to do that.
Yes, we are all equal… and we are all equally after one thing… “To live truly free to express the love that we are.”
We are sadly born into a world that goes against everything we know ourselves to be. That said, The Livingness shows us there is a way to live in this world whilst not compromising our own qualities and expressions.
So true Michael, if we are unable to take a step
back and observe the sadnesses of this world without judgement or blame and joining in with all the emotions and protective behaviours, then we cannot feel the tenderness and sensitivity of the other and offer no reflection. To bring about harmony and understanding we have to live from our true essence of love and tenderness, and then the magic of true communication happens.
We are all deeply sensitive and feel everything that goes on around us in the world. If we not get confirmed in what we feel we start to look outside and if we then only see hardness and toughness the second best thing is to join in and at least belong somewhere. Therefor it is so important that we have true role models around for men and women and to have true parenting that confirms all that we feel inside so we keep connected to our sensitivity.
It is an interesting experience to see a big, burly man’s sensitivity. It is there.
Indeed, men are only after one thing and that is to live that tender, delicate and tender man they all feel deep inside to be.
That beautiful photo of this gorgeous man reflects truly the tenderness and gentleness that is inherent in every man, woman and child.
“The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are. I have spent much of my life despairing over the fact that men seemed to be “after only one thing”… until I began to realise that men are after the same thing that every woman is after” – yes the men, and we as women too might well indeed think that it’s sex being chased… though sex is just the far reduced and only way some of us can relate the missing and want for intimacy that makes love, true love, and what we’re all after in buckets.
It can be quite painful to look out in to the world in general and see how there is not so much support for men to live according to their naturally sensitive ways. But in that there can be a great appreciation for the fact that this lack of support is seen, which counts for a lot. Because then we can start to do something about it.
As a man, I can say that to even have a woman recognise that lack of support is so deeply nurturing and beholding. It gives us permission.
Your blog was such a pleasure to read, you really nailed it. Lets give men the permission and space to truly be themselves. In that case the women definitely need to check their false ideals and pictures how a man should be also!
Because this is what accompanied men in todays society too. They have no chance to truly find back their inner essence when women constantly demand to get their picture and romantic lovestory fulfilled.
This blog is a gem as it brings us all together by busting myths and cutting to the chase of what we all ultimately want and that is to be ourselves and be . . . “free to express the love that we are” .
Indeed Kathleen, that is actually we all are looking for, women and men equally so, to live that delicateness, tenderness, sacredness and love we all have a connection with as it lives within each and every one of us.
Beautifully shared – to be held in their innate tenderness and sensitivity is all that is asked and then what we are offered from men is beyond words to the levels of deep love and understanding they express naturally from within.
Gee we make human life hard with all the expectations, judgements and bias we place on each other’s gender when it’s so true Leone, we all want the same thing which is in essence, to simply be ourselves.
What a beautiful article bringing awareness to what men true are looking for as well, that connection to who they are in their essence; their sensitivity and to be accepted with all that in this world, without being judged or compared.
Yes, it takes a bit of courage but returning to your essence, your true sensitivity is entirely possible.
If men are really only after reconnecting with their own tenderness, the search for intimacy through pornography can be understood as a misguided attempt which never really delivers.
Expressing the Love that we are searching for has to come from a Livingness so that being “free to express the love that we are” has to start with honesty, openness and transparency or as you say Leonne, honoured in his perfect imperfection as we all learn to live!
You read the title and your mind runs to one point and then you read the article and you are taken to a different place. A woman appreciating men and how they are truly and how they support in and around her in life. Why don’t we have more of this? In a world that seems to pit everything against everything else it is refreshing to see no game playing at the table and yet you are also given something to learn. Where would things be if this was our norm? No use dreaming of it, we need to put the runs on the board as they say and this article and comments are certainly hitting home.
I love the way she wrote the article aswell- very smart to keep the readers attention and focus and delivering what the real truth is.
Really moved reading this blog today. A constant reminder that each and every man is born tender and divine. We all have a responsibility to give all children an opportunity out to hold onto the truth of who they are as they grow into adulthood.
How something, that we have written can support ourselves, when we re-read it. A great proof that it actually does not come from us, but through us.
Men are just as sensitive as women, it just gets educated out of boys from an early age. They are told to man up, to suck it up, to grit their teeth and we create what at times can only be called a monster.
“Men are only after one thing” – if men deeply honoured that they were only after one thing .. that thing being real, true love, then it would reset the entire dating and courtship game. And so much more too.
Men respecting there natural sensitivity is an amazing gift in the world as is all of us respecting this for ourselves. This allows the appreciation and allowing of who we are.
Beautifully said Tricia.
Leonne,I have observed that this happens to boys and men, this is so true to what happens with boys and men; ‘The world has already made it clear that his natural sensitivity is something to be ashamed of’, boys are naturally sensitive, sweet and loving and so for society to say this is wrong and not the way boys and men should live is very destructive, men toughening up and being protective causes all sorts of harm and everyone misses out on the beauty and power of men in their essence.
The more I tune into my own sensitivities and delicate nature the more I am able to see this in everyone else.
Absolutely agree Samantha thats what I found, the more I have connected to my delicateness and sensitivity the more I have seen it in others; men, women and children.
Yes and the more people come into our lives that connect to this deeply 🙂
Tenderness is the same quality we all hold underneath the protective layers we build up. There is nothing lovelier than to see a man dismantle his armour to reveal the sweet natural tenderness that is innately there.
I have clocked that if I am open to men and meet them in a way that is not reacting to or contracting away from potentially what they could be go into about the sexualisation of a Woman then it is very different. My whole life I have stayed away from and avoiding any situation that remotely had the feeling of this. Not that I am going to throw myself into a red light district area for the fun of it. But in your everyday when I am meeting men on a regular basis I just love connecting to who they truly are and make it about this and then what ever might be there simple fades away.
It is a ‘crying-shame’ that we impose on men so much that the only out-let remaining to them is to seek the connection there are missing through behaviors that can lead to an even greater sense of emptiness. What a heartbreaking cycle that has been set up.
A very sensitively written article that exposes society’s hand in morphing men to be something they are not, something that steps away from the natural sensitivity and tenderness that is there within every man. A beautiful piece of writing Leonne.
Leonne what a beautiful confirmation of what all boys and men feel, of appreciating the tenderness that men are and presenting the fact that it is as a whole that society needs to look at how we are acting and what we are asking our children to turn into instead of appreciating all of whom they are, and supporting them to hold that tenderness, quality and innate magic.
Some of the most gorgeous and deeply loving experiences I have had with men have been when they are expressing from their sensitivity. It is sad that in our world today such expression is seen as its complete opposite rather than something beautiful and worth appreciating.
I agree this has been my experience of meeting men who have chosen to honour who they are…”I now have men in my life that have reconnected to their divine essence. These men respect their natural sensitivity; they cry when they feel sad and they express how they feel. They have shown me what a true man is.” It has been deeply healing for me to meet men like this and I am learning to honour myself as a woman more in full through these developing relationships.
Are our beliefs and expectations already energetically setting men up to be what they are not?
The title is very catchy! How many of us thought for even a split second that ‘sex’ was the answer? Leonne, I love how you have taken this connotation and shown that it does not have to be that way!
Men are so tender inside – how important is it that we keep reminding them of this and appreciating what is inside them even if they are not choosing to live it every day.
Sure, and for us to be able to remind them we also have to connect to our tenderness and gentleness within as only in reflection of our livingness in this way can we support another to connect to what is inherently inside.
Touching to see this written by a woman to support men. Many will still read these words and possibly judge what is said, whereas I fully support it. The message is clear from the start of life that men are moulded into being how they are truly not. It is when we see and feel men living another way that supports truly the love that they are that we take the pressure off. I know for me to live true is a blessing, an ease- the more difficult part is the acceptance of the world not supporting that.
I agree, men are only after one thing – that being, tenderness, love, care, decency, respect. The truth is both men and women want to be loved, cherished, adored and seen for who they are.
Yes men and women, girls and boy – all of us no matter what gender or age…
What a perfect model is on the picture: now there is a man who is not afraid to share all his shades of sweetness, sensitivity and delicateness: a perfect role model!
“The presence of these men in my life has been deeply healing and eye opening to say the least.” For me to Leonne, to know that all men in their true essence are the same as anyone else has been hugely revealing, and has allowed me to appreciate that even when there may be a situation where I may feel ‘under pressure’, this is just a coping mechanism that is covering up the true tender and loving quality that lies beneath the hardened exterior.
That’s right Jane, we are all the same and we all want the same thing, to be love but so much in our world is trying to steer us the opposite way.
To watch men melt when they are met for the tenderness and sensitivity that they are is such a confirmation of what men want.
Love this Jenny, and it is beautiful when they feel safe to show this to the world
It is a dire picture that you paint here Leonne of what we as a society put young boys through. It is amazing that so many boys actually get through as tender as they are! We need to turn the tide on this as parents and teachers ( and in fact everyone!)
There is nothing more attractive than a man in his absolute tenderness. Staring in his open loving eyes just melts me in the love I am.
Hear hear – me too 🙂
Recently I’ve had my pictures of what it means to ‘be a man’ and challenged how those pictures have formed my expectations of how a man should be. Not accepting the innate expressing of sensitivity and tenderness from a man is horrible. Whereas when allowing him to simply be feels beautiful. In fact I’d say I have to change myself in order to not accept that sensitivity and love.
I was reflecting on the title and how much this common saying has sunken into my psyche. Although I have heard it and seen it play out, generally I have found men to be big softies who are often less hardened and manipulative in life than women. I agree that men are after love and tenderness and we women need to support them to show it.
Beautiful Leonne, I am also blessed with men in my life who are allowing their natural sensitivity and sweetness to be seen and who are able to express themselves as the naturally tender men that they are, and so I can feel how all of the bravado, toughness and hardness that man can carry is not truly who they are.
The illusion that men are different is enforced by the protective behaviours that men turn to when they are rejected for being sensitive and gentle, it usually happens early in life so plenty of years practice for many men to perfect the other way of being that sometimes feel abhorrent to women (and other men). These behaviours look and very much feel the opposite of the love they crave and so it looks easy to be fooled into thinking that men couldn’t possibly want love and affection, when in fact it is very much the most important thing they can be offered. The more we understand and accept this is happening, the easier it is to respond to it without judgement.
I love your expression Stephen as it puts it right where it needs to be – it is absolutely true that everyone, man or woman, old or young, all want to be held in the love and tenderness that they inherently are. The more we can allow our selves to reconnect to that and reflect that in our daily livingness, the more others can feel and connect to this and learn it is ok and beautiful to be gentle, tender, caring, loving beings.
It must be awful for men to be pinned under the belief that all they want is sex. For a truly genuine gentle man this must hurt a great deal. Why is it that we have built up this persona for them? I’m sure many young men have fallen in to this behaviour simply because they think it is expected of them. And how much toughness, arrogance and protection do they have to adopt in order to act in such a way that dishonours themselves and women? Underneath we are all screaming out for love. There is so much dishonesty in pretending otherwise.
It is easy to paint everyone with the same brush and then mistrust all men. Reading this has made me realise that we hold onto these beliefs without questioning if they are actually true or not – for instance ‘men are only after one thing’. We as women are told this often as a teenager and then go on to carry that belief with us and hold men at arm’s length. And of course, there are the men that act that out but are they just doing what is being imposed on them in the first place.
“Men are only after one thing” – yes, the love of themselves, to love the all. The same as every woman.
A beautiful understanding of men Leonne and a joy to read and feel the honouring of their sensitivity , tenderness and gentleness expressed.Bringing the truth back to us all of this inherent way of being and who we all naturally are will bring the balance to each of us and humanity as a whole.
The photo you chose for your blog is a beautiful example of a true man not afraid to express his sensitivity, what a powerful reflection for other men to see this as ‘normal’ as it confirms this quality within them as well.
Yes my feelings exactly – the tenderness and gentleness that emanates from this beautiful man is deeply felt and will inspire many to reconnect I ‘m sure.
Both men and women are equally tender and sensitive, to deny this quality to men of all ages and to say to them to ‘man up’ or ‘don’t cry’ is crushing to their sensitivity and asks them to reject how they truly feel.
It is very inspiring and heart warming to consider the fact that men are tender, sensitive and deeply caring and that as we accept this we can lay down our weapons and build collaborative, developmental relationships that are free of combat and competition.
Love your comment Matilda – and it is very liberating to just be our own true connected self which allows another to connect to their inner self too, bringing out the deeply caring tender self for all to see and feel and be inspired by.
We all want the very thing that we essentially are and go searching for it high and low, with this person or that person, and all the while, it is right under our noses, literally.
The way “modern masculinity” is advertised totally lacks richness, vitality and rawness which are three incredible traits every man should honour.
The fact that we can think or say that men only want one thing shows just how way off we are in our relationships with each other, however I think it’s important to note that there are women who are equally have the same attitude – last night I learnt there are “dominatrix” or women who physically hurt and control men for money. This is an extreme, but I’ve seen many many many women treat men badly, it’s awful that we treat each other this way, and we all need to take equal responsibility for the mess we’re in.
A friend of mine works as a personal trainer, and he shared that some men come in and want to be pushed in their gym workout until they throw up. How far removed have men like these become from the tender sweetness they had as a child? And what are we reflecting back to them that does not challenge or question their behaviours?
Indeed, and what have we reflected back to them that they feel the need to work out like that in the first place? Much to ponder on projected expectations here…
This education on the true nature of men and boys that has been brought to the world by Universal Medicine has changed all our lives, even those who have never been to a presentation – because this truth is now being awakened within us, a truth that is already known within but has been forgotten. I am bowled over by the beautiful men I meet who are now living with this awareness. And now that I am aware that ‘rejection’ is the biggest button pusher of all for men, my understanding of male behaviour has grown exponentially. All they want is to be accepted – accepted by their peers, accepted by their fathers, accepted by women – but this has all been mis- translated into wanting sex to be accepted into the life of a woman.
Beautiful Leonne, to feel your confirmation of men, it can be easy to damn men and pick at their flaws, but men given an opportunity will often display their tenderness. I know many men who are now sharing more openly their sensitive nature, and it is a real celebration to witness and be part of.
A friend of mine moved to a country overseas. She was trying to convince me to go and visit her, and said “I will introduce you to the boys”. With that sentence I got a vision of being thrown to a pack of lions! It is so ingrained in our society that sex is what men want. And when men are together in a group this belief and behaviour is magnified and quite scary. This reaction to men lives on in women as this is usually our experience. And so we continue to believe that men are only after sex, with no opportunity to witness anything else.
Honoring our sensitivities regardless of gender is the way forth for our society to embrace and accept our true nature and dispel that which has been imposed on us with regards to the roles women and men play with no consideration of their being-ness within.
It is quite a sad state of the world that men feel like they can not be tender or sensitive without being gay or being labeled as weak. Even though there is nothing wrong with sensitivity, it is actually a very beautiful thing to share between men and women.
Yes and in starting a conversation like this we can begin to build back our openness with one another, our respectful acceptance of each other’s sensitivity and tenderness, and break down the walls of comparison that keep us separate and divided.
I have totally resisted and withdrawn in connection with men as I too had the feeling that they were only after one thing. To let this go and to not shy away but to connect fully with a man that does not have this as their intention is such a beautiful experience. And we are left having an open and genuine time together.
Oh Leonne, how shackled we all are.
The, men are only after one thing saying was around when I grew up also and lots of women who had been hurt by men in relationship would say that. Yes, there are and were men who acted in that way, but underneath all of that protection is someone who craves intimacy and true love.
Brilliantly put Alison, we all do know deep within the essence that we are.
We can automatically push guys away, giving into the ideas that they are only interested in one thing, and in doing so case them to feel hurt and rejected which could very well lead them to shutting down and becoming the expectation. So often I find when I meet guys just for who they are, they melt and are totally gorgeous and love to be allowed to be themselves.
Living in an estranged world makes more children become estranged adults hence it is all about reconnecting and than expressing from that inner source we all once felt so vibrantly as children and can do just the same as adults.
I used to think men were all after the one thing and that was sex. Little did I realise that men actually played this out because the women in their life were not offering what they really wanted which was to be tenderly loved and to tenderly love back.
‘It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity because in truth, we all want only one thing.
To live truly free to express the love that we are.’
This is so true. Imagine if we take away the constructs of our self-imposed prison and allowed ourselves to love again regardless of how other’s reacted? Then people will see what’s possible.
It’s sad that guys go through this process at school of finding ways to protect themselves or being labelled. I know which choices I made at this point and I am still finding the remainders of them in my life today but amazing that there are an ever-growing number of men who are letting go of the hurt caused from these times and being open to express from the deep sensitivity that we are.
This is such a beautiful blog Leonne. It has such a rhythm, such a flow, and such a wisdom!
‘The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are.’ So very true Leonne . the depth of sensitivity in our boys is deeply precious.
When you observe a young boy, playing and being themselves you can feel their preciousness and clearly see they are as equally precious as young girls.
This blog really resonated with me as I can relate to the different stages you describe Leonne and feel the protection, the hardness and the separation it creates in men. In recent years I have felt able to claim and honour my own sensitivity and tenderness as an integral part of who I am as a man and have found that being with other men who live and express the love they are to be a truly beautiful and powerful experience.
This is gorgeous, so powerful and so true.
I love the style of your blog and it brings home the point that men are naturally sensitive and tender.
Beautiful Leonne. It is a testament to you that you have opened up your heart to be able to see the sensitivity of the men in your life and then beyond to the wider and global situation of how men are generally expected to live today. Perhaps it does only take one woman, who is willing to express her own beauty by what she sees to start to change the world for everyone.
We have all (women and men equally) contributed to a picture of what a man should be, not who a man is. I love this sharing Leonne – you are breaking stereotypes and allowing the truth of a person to be seen. Before it is about our gender, it is about who we truly are – and we are all naturally sensitive and tender.
This is such a refreshing blog. All my life I have believed that men are only after one thing – and that thing being sex. This is such a commonly held belief and does nothing to honour and appreciate the true qualities in men. It also does nothing to honour and appreciate the true qualities that are in me, as I have responded in the past by making myself into a sex object in order to get their attention. I’m sure many other women have responded in the same way. We are all so conditioned in this belief that we have been imprisoned by it and built our lives around it. This blog exposes how this behaviour and belief system has been created due to the fact that we all actually want love. Sex is a way to look for love from another. Therefore we need not make it about the sex. We can make it about love. For this is what we all truly want.
Sensitivity is a very natural and essential part of life and who we are as a humanity. And men share this without a doubt. I see it in men every day, yes there is hardness on the outside, but it does not take much to see pass that and see who they have always been, gentle and sensitive, men can say they do not hurt, but they do; they just put a hard shell on the top of it.
What a beautiful celebration of the sensitive, tender, joyful and playful essence of men. Thank you Leonne.
It is indeed something to celebrate when a man re-connects with his innate sensitivity and tenderness and dares to live that again.
There is so much out there to offset sensitivity in men and in women, so it’s gorgeous to read your blog Leonne, claiming back the truth!
I love this blog, we have got ourselves into this horrible situation where we feel separated due to our gender, and we are doing each other a disservice. Looking at another person in a negative light and then holding all to that picture is something I know too well, and is very harmful because it leaves no room for appreciation of another – just separation and our ideas of the perceived faults of that person or persons.
I have a friend who has spent his whole life living up to the image of what it is society expects from a man. To work hard, play harder, to be the provider, not to show any feelings or emotions the list is long. But recently I have noticed cracks appearing in the suit of armour that he wears to protect himself against the world. He is incredibly sensitive and this was not allowed to be expressed as a child and so the rot sets in. So my question has to be what is it about our society that we do not allow children to express and just be themselves? Why do we shut them down and what would be so terrible if they were to feely express all that they are
Mary what a joy to read that your friend has started to drop the armour against the world which he has carried for years. So beautiful when someone breaks free of the confines they have put on their expression. Sensitivity and tenderness has had a bad press as being weak and helpless for too long. It is great that many are discovering the huge lie in that and are embracing these qualities in themselves. We can then also nurture this gorgeous expression in our children too.
But what happens when a woman begins to express appreciation and love to a man for who they truly are after such a long time? Does he freak out because he can’t handle it or does he embrace what is on offer?
To find fault in a man and make it a focus is to reject the love that I am. To truly appreciate a man not for what he does but for who he is I express love because I am accepting, appreciating and loving myself first.
It is way past time that “our false construction of modern masculinity is exposed for the lie that it is”, because this lie has harmed, and is still harming, countless numbers of men and from the harm inflicted on men women are also being harmed; the power of the ripple effect. So, thank you Leonne for starting this much needed conversation and to giving the true answer to the question – what is the one thing that men are after? – “To live truly free to express the love that we are”.
You can’t judge a book by its cover. Men are viewed as a well-travelled leather journal, and with its travels, through life, it has been battered and marked. But, what is this hardened exterior hiding within?
As said by many, we indeed are only after one thing and that is being loved, accepted and appreciated for who we naturally are. If man are told to be different of course this will impact in how they behave and does mostly result in hard and tough behaviour and only after that one thing (sex) as that is the closest to love that is available to them.
Indeed Doug, it is the commonly held perception of how men should be that ultimately dictated for many men how to be in complete ignorance of who they truly are. No wonder that men become hard and tough if they are not allowed to live that natural delicacy and tenderness they are as it is that inner turmoil and frustration of not being respected for who they truly are that then is expressed.
A lovely ode to men, and beautiful to hear at this time. In the media just now there is much exposure of the abusive men in high places and it can be difficult for the sensitive men to find our place, as it is easy to feel part of the responsibility for allowing such abuse to go unchecked and that we are all tarred with the same brush. I guess though it is everyone’s responsibility regardless of gender to foster more opportunity for love and care, and stand up to anything that doesn’t allow us to express our love for one another without fear of attack.
While ever we hold a picture or ideal of how we want or expect either men or women to be we are not able to truly embrace what is before us, the sensitivity of our natures in full transparency.
Appreciation is one thing I certainly have for the men in my life that have chosen to re-connect to the tender sensitive men that they are. To be able to feel this and be with them and how they are not shying away from being this truly refreshing and gives me a knowing that we will eventually return to who we are designed to be. These qualities in a man are to be celebrated not condemned.
Yes I agree Natalie and feel totally blessed to have such men in my life too, I feel safe and looked after when I’m in their company, I don’t need to be anything that I’m not, I’m given the space to be myself and it feels so lovely.
I so can agree with all that’s written here. I grew up hearing tales of woe from the women around me, and the ‘men are after only one thing’ scenario – i.e. sex. But having met men who genuinely love and adore women – not in a put women up on a pedestal way, but seeing the qualities of women more than I’ve ever seen for myself – I’ve felt how deeply sensitive men are. And since seeing this in men that have openly communicated their love and care of each other and women so openly and honestly, young men and old, I have dropped my defences, my aggression and seen this sensitivity even in men who’ve got violent police records. That sensitivity is there and comes out when I stop attacking men with my negative stereotypes of them.
Absolutely love reading your writings Leonne,. Love the detail in which you described your observations of how men are imposed upon since birth.
This is a beautiful expose of the forces that try to change and mould how lovely, sensitive and tender men are and what society expects of them from birth.
If we could all figure out what is the one thing we are all after, maybe then we wouldn’t have the need to build things that destroy others lives and all the money and resources that is used on that could be spent on bringing us all together instead of inciting hate and separation
Its not just men, all of humanity are after the one thing, that is to love and be loved.
This is a gorgeous celebration of the true sensitive man. This exquisite tenderness is to be found in the innate essence of all men. Thank you Leonne.
Profound, we can be so hard on men, I have a son and a husband, both are gentle sensitive and deeply loving souls, if I stay in my protection and reactions to how I have been treated by men over the years, I would neglect the opportunity of connection and the awesome relationships available with them and others.
Yes, looking back at how defensively I have been with men in general I can feel I’ve missed out on some lovely potential relationships – I don’t mean partners but just in general. Men are naturally caring and sensitive and I’ve just rejected men in the past and then complained about them! Lovely to now not do this. Even if a man is coming at me with sleazy energy – which doesn’t happen nowadays, I can say an absolute no to that energy, to any behaviours that manifest from it, but I don’t have to close my heart to the man beneath.
Profound indeed Samantha. Reading this article has inspired me to see and act on how I relate to men.
I found it very confusing sensing the sensitivity of my son and yet knowing that the world is a very hard place. With the help of Universal Medicine I have come to terms with my mothering skills and how I handled this situation. I have also gained more clarity and confidence in what I can feel and what I know is true for me and it feels very expansive when I meet men and can feel that they too are connected to the sensitivity that is innate to us all.
I have worked closely with men recently, mainly trades men coming into my home. It’s been an honour to get to know each one and appreciate the relationships we formed. True strength is not physical, but found in inner qualities
In some ways the tables have turned. Women express themselves in ways that are hard, driven, business-like and men, more settled in themselves, are open to share their sensitive and tender side with others.
When we as women connect to our own tender sweetness we begin to feel the same in others, especially men.
‘To live truly free to express the love that we are.’ When we connect to this fact, there is no separation between us.
I agree Susan, when others are prepared to be vulnerable, it changes the space between us and there is less separation and more understanding. It also gives us permission to feel our own vulnerability.
Much is known about the struggles of women, and less about the struggles for men. This is a real eye opener to what goes on for men as they grow up and how much their sensitivity is robbed off them.
It’s true Leonne, we are all after one thing – to be loved and express love. What is so powerful about your blog is how you bring together men and women who are separated from each other from birth. It exposed to me how I still hold the belief we are different when in truth we are the same – just expressing in different ways the same qualities.
Honestly, I have never believed that ‘men are only after one thing’, maybe because growing up, I was convinced that my knight in shining armour was just around the corner waiting to scoop me up and whisk me off into the sunset to treasure me for evermore. Then appreciating the gorgeous tender, sensitivity in my own sons, even when this isn’t being openly displayed, I know without any shadow of doubt that we all crave the same thing and have the same potential and capacity to love, treasure and honour each other.
“To live truly free to express the love that we are.” This is without a doubt what we all want.
Even when men think they are only after the one thing (sex) and hence behave like that they actually are not but don´t know it. This is the consequence of not honouring their tenderness and sensitivity, their loving care and need for intimacy, no different to any girl or woman. Most men actually need to be ‘reminded’ of their natural innate beingness by women who accept nothing less than that. Against all preconception when it comes to feeling you will be surprised how quick men will learn 😉
I agree Alex when a woman approaches a man in her sacredness the man melts and is given permission to be in his tenderness.
Thank you for this beautiful testimony Leonne – you show us all without a doubt that not only are we wrong about who men are, but we have got the whole of life upside down. We have settled for a host of lies which are the exact opposite of the truth. In this case as you express men are not savage brutes but delicate, sensitive, tender beings designed to love with open hearts. This makes me want to reconsider everything, hold it up to the light and see what feels right. We are here to question and feel for ourselves, not take orders.
It becomes understandable that so many men (and women) mix up having sex with making love. It is love we are all after and expressing that with every word and movement we make is making love. We can share the love we are with a complete stranger by the way we look at them or talk to them.
So many of us women, myself included, have gone into protection around men in the past, and it is so deeply healing to open up to how incredibly sweet and tender they can be. Of course we all want love, regardless of age, gender, social standing, culture etc.
So very true Leonne. I love your litany all leading to the fact that we are all in the end after one thing – to be our true selves.
I relate to so much of what you have shared Leonne, as my sensitivity was felt from a young age but I was told to toughen up etc.
Very true Jane and Leonne, and as we are all looking for Love then is it possible we are all facing the same situation because in our previous incarnation we were that woman who is now a man or vice versa?
Leonne your accurate description of the socialisation of boys and men is like a war zone. They are taught to literally fight being their natural, tender essence and from a very early age
It is our responsibility as women to set a high bar, living our sacredness and thus inspiring and giving men permission to live their sensitivity and tenderness.
Great to break the ‘sayings’ of society whether about men or women which are designed to categorise each gender, reduce the divine qualities each offers and subjugate them to conforming to an expected norm therefore not reflecting to others that which will inspire them to also live in connection to their truth in full.
Just watching the gorgeous expression in the photo selected or this article makes me melt. The more I look past the cliche society promoted images of hardness, the more I see the absolute delightful tender qualities in men and know that on the inside there is no difference, we are all just as beautiful and we all want and deserve the same.
“It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity . . . ” Leonne I only can agree as the more we are appreciating men to be what they truly are – sensitive – the more this will be what it should be – NORMAL.
When true strength in a man or his ‘manliness’ is shown not through rippling muscle or body mass but rather through the muscle of the sensitivity and tenderness in him, as a woman it is joy to experience and importantly to respond favourably and meltingly into this fine quality.
Indeed Zofia. It is a totally different kind of ‘strength’, and one that is true not attained.
We are all very sensitive beings, and if we all lived this natural way our world would be a very different place… because in truth we all want…”To live truly free to express the love that we are.”
We do men, and ourselves, a great dis-service to hold them ransom to such a false way of being. We all crave to be the love that we are and to feel this true expression from another, so why would we do anything to stop another from living in their own true way.
Yes it is true we are only after one thing and the more of us that can realise the truth of what we are after and not be afraid to show it, the more we will inspire others to live that way as well.
The moment we chose to be honest about what we are all after (love), sex becomes secondary. This may not sound as much but it is a revolution of all things gender and will change societies fundamentally.
When we have given up on love being the marker for what life is about we have given up on being who we are, women and men equally. Time to mark life with love again.
Leonne, beautiful article and I love the photo that goes with this article of this very sweet, open, tender man – this is the truth of men and as you say; ‘It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity’.
We all want . . . “To live truly free to express the love that we are.” . . . hear hear Leonne, great blog highlighted that in essence we are all equally precious.
Men in their natural state are deliciously tender, it is the way we have allowed society to develop that creates the hardness so many men make their default way to live.
What a great leveler, Leonne. We all want love and there is no reason why this should be any different for men.
Yes indeed, we only want that one thing and how stunning to write this about men, gorgeous, tender, delicately sensitive men. What a load they can bear on their shoulders when they subscribe to all the images, ideals and beliefs of what it is to be a man, rather than trusting what they feel on the inside and living from that space.
Simply appreciating the innate tenderness reflected in the man in picture on this blog – if men re-claimed this quality residing naturally within them, there would be a powerful magnetic pull for all (men and women alike) to live from this quality. A new marker and game changer for the world and humanity.
Thank you for this beautiful blog, Leonne, exposing and honouring men for the truth of who they are. It is up to us all to allow men the space and grace to feel safe enough to be the gorgeous, sensitive, gentle souls that they all are.
The deep hurt that men carry from leaving their own tenderness and sensitivity early in life is surprisingly easy to overcome when in the presence of others who are loving. Underneath all men want to put down what they are carrying which is not them and just be who they truly are from their heart.
It is no wonder we have wars, competition and horrendous crimes when we look at how we bring up our young boys. They are no different from women with the tenderness, gentleness and delicateness as their natural way of being if left alone to live these qualities, and that as a society we valued these qualities in our young boys. It’s easy to see how catastrophic the results are by changing them.
Beautiful Leonne, I too can attest to observing men around me who have re-connected to their naturally sweet and tender essence, the permission & inspiration this offers others is all that makes a true man so glorious.
“From the moment a baby boy is born he is only after one thing.” This line completely exposes the fact of us thinking that men are only after one thing. If you think of a tender baby boy you just can’t think that it is natural for men to be only after sex it is just not the way it is. We just need to remember that they still are that super tender being inside whatever age they are just like we have to remember that of women.
Absolutely gorgeous article, and picture of a man allowing his natural love to be.
How different our societies would be, our relationships and our vitality levels if we lived and honoured our enormous sensitivity. What I love is that the ‘sensitive man’ doesn’t necessarily come as well dressed and modern in appearance – it is there is all shapes and sizes and underneath whatever roles we men have put on to differentiate ourselves and create protection.
Our world is crying out for both men and women to live in their essence, to not hold back expressing who we are and to support each other to live in our sensitivity, tenderness, sacredness and power.
Leonne the sensitivity of this man [Joseph] in the photo is completely endearing and one to cherish, you can see his adult manhood and sweet delicate boyhood both at the same time, it’s really quite something to observe such equalness in his entire being. Gorgeous.
Leonne I simply love the way you have alchemically transformed that old resentful saying’ Men are after only one thing’ into a divine truth ‘Men are after only one thing – their true tenderness’. Beautiful!
Awesome Leonne. I love the spin on this phrase. Actually, funnily enough…it’s the truth of the phrase and the current interpretation of it is in fact the spin!
A wonderful sharing Leonne! All the boys that I have come into close contact with such as my brothers, my sons and Grandsons have all been sensitive , caring people. I feel blessed that they are in my life.
A gorgeous blog Leonne, Its true that when we look beyond the behaviors that are exhibited by most men in our society, we find beings that are just as gentle and caring as women. Young boys and men need the role models that show that its possible to live this way.
How de-natured man has made the man. You’re gradual revelations through his life Leonne really bring the normal-reality to the fore. How wonderful we can learn from this and allow boys to remain the sweet, sensitive, wise souls they are.
What’s beautiful to know is that although it’s not easy to live the tenderness we are, it is oh so simple.
What a beautiful blog Leonne, showing us all where we are all after and longing for – love. And that almost everyone has been educated in a way that is drawing us away from it. Nevertheless we could not do it different as we did not know any different, so didn’t our parents.
Leonne a great article that highlights the truth that men are after connection and tenderness but the reality is with a lack of that they/we settle for what we think is connection.
Great blog Leonne, thank you for sharing what we are all coming to know and witness within our community, is men opening up, claiming and living their gorgeous tenderness and sensitivity, we are all wanting the same thing and that is “To live truly free to express the love that we are.”
Great and playful blog, Leonne where you expose the stigma we have put on men by ‘men are only after one thing’ boxes them and cuts them so short in their innate tender being.
Leonne awesome, thank you for exposing the hideous way in which we as a society have carved out a man’s path so that it is damn hard for him to know his real true self.
This path needs to be exposed for the illusion and harm it truly is.
A beautiful play on words, Leonne, that brilliantly exposes all the madness and cruelty that leaves so many of us in opposite behaviours to those that will actually invite the very thing we yearn for so deeply… connecting with others with the love that we innately are, unguarded and fearless, open to give and receive in equal measure.
Yes, we are all after one thing – love, unguarded and fearless. It is who we are, where we are from, it is what we are held in so to fight it is most likely the definition of insanity…
Oh I just love the way you have completely turned the silly phrase “men are after one thing”, which men have so often been unjustly boxed in, on its head.
“Men are after the same thing that every woman is after. We all want only one thing. To live truly free to express the love that we are.” So true.
When we don’t have an experience of true love and being truly met for who we are, we will substitute it for something else – what if the closest thing Men felt they could get was sex, and therefore this is what they go for – a feeling of release, of brief intimacy that is safe because it is only superficial, an opportunity to be in control so they can’t be hurt etc etc.
If we were able to first, develop love and true intimacy with ourselves, something that actually has nothing to do with sex, then we are able to share this with others. In my experience, people – men and women alike – are melted by even the smallest expression of genuine care and love.
Brilliant expose of the lies that we champion and accept within society – roles to adorn and play out, which are far removed from the true men and women that we naturally are.
Love it Leonne, what more is there to say other than… absolutely! We are indeed all after the same thing, no matter what guise we put on to have it appear otherwise.
This is a cracker of an article! I totally agree than men are only after one thing….sex..right? just joking! but seriously I really loved how you played on that stereo type approach to men but just busted out, opening up the conversation to be one conversation, rather than breaking it up into us and them. We are all wanting to feel and be the love we know we are, we are all the same in the end.
Simply beautiful Leonie. Working in a caring role, I have always enjoyed looking after men. When men are unwell they let go if only a little of their hard exterior, showing more of their vulnerabilities. In these circumstances they begin see that their hard protective layer doesn’t work. Seeing and feeling how tender they are is something to behold.
There are many sayings and slangs that give men an excuse to not express who they really are – like ‘boys will be boys’. How does that arouse and inspire a man to look deeply into themselves and feel the beauty of who they are? It doesn’t. What it does allow is for men and boys to ‘play up’ and be rough – which is against their natural movement.
Men are very tender and sensitive at heart. So are women.
‘Men are only after one thing’ such a well used phrase, but you have brought the much needed Truth to this, they want what we all want, to live and express ourselves in full, the sensitive, loving, caring beings we are. Thank you Leonne.
Absolutely agree Richard that sensitivity is to be celebrated and nurtured as a great strength not something to be suppressed or hidden as a weakness.
Men are actually only after one thing – to be truly loved and to love freely and all the behaviours that men engage in that are imposing or destructive or abusive are actually due to the fact that they are reacting to not having this love in their lives from young. This does not mean we should tolerate or excuse abusive behaviour in any way but it does bring a greater understanding as to why it occurs.
The role of men in society is completely skewed. As you’ve shared Leonne men can be incredibly sensitive, sweet, caring and expressive, and it’s absurd that we shun this sensitivity in so many ways and paint such a different picture of how men have to be and behave.
Men are after only one thing… what a label to put on men, little wonder that relationships do not have a solid foundation to start with. Men want the exact same thing as women, to share all they are and to have true meaningful relationships, is a great start to re-imprint that label.
This is beautiful, Leonne, and a soothing balm of true appreciation for the sensitivity and tenderness within men. I work a lot with young men, and so many of them feel lost and confused about who they are and how they can be themselves in the world.
Yes and I wonder if the feeling lost and the confusion may be because they refuse to harden up i.e. numb themselves.
I can see why young men are confused Janet because deep inside they know who they are but our society seems discourage them to be someone who they are not. I see the same thing happening for young women too. Thanks to blogs like this, exposing what is really going on in the world and exposing the illusion that is keeping people disempowered and drained.
Great exposure of the pressure on boys to ‘man up etc’ and celebration of those who are living connected to their divine essence and how healing that is for all women who have been sold the negative idea that “Men are only after one thing’ and we therefore need to protect ourselves from them. This is so insidious and divisive and adds to the isolation that so many are existing in never feeling able to express the love we all are.
I agree, insidious and divisive and the isolation that comes for boys and men who feel they cannot or do not want to live to those pressures leads to some major mental and physical health problems. This is such an important conversation to have.
We are after ‘only one thing’ men and women alike…. and that is to be love and to be loved. Simple.
We are all after one thing no matter if we are boy or girl. It’s love we look for, and that is behind every single thing we do to try to please people in so many different ways.
Just have to say that this photo of the man in the article is exquisite, his hands are so tender and delicate and the warmth radiating off his face and body is delicious.
The world around me may say ‘keep the protection up, don’t express your love’ but it’s me that listens…..makes blaming the world pretty pointless when it’s me holding the key to free expression…
I lived most of my adult life with these words ringing in my ears ‘ never trust a man’. expressed by my mother based on her own disappointments and failed marriage. I can see how this belief coloured every relationship I entered. With deep trust in ourselves and knowing our own worth, frees us from beliefs that indiscriminately judge others.
Thank you Susan, we are expressing all the time verbally or not and affecting others as we do in ways that offer love or not love, never any in-between.
Time to end the false divide that separates men and women. When we look at a man, we see ourselves, as we are One.
We are all such tender beings behind the facade of false confidence and insecurity. Allowing ourselves to feel this tenderness and the strength within is not very common in our world. As you say it is the expression of our true selves that we are missing and supporting ourselves and each other in this respect is a great blessing.
Leone what a loving, honouring blog you’ve written- The more I hear and see and understand this the more I am able to see this in every man I meet and thereby reflect this back to them -giving them permission to be all of that love they are. It feels like it’s cracking an old separatist consciousness.
Thankyou!
Thank you Leonne. What you share is so true. Having been given the reflection by Serge Benhayon of how marvellous it is to express from our tenderness it is such an amazing release and a joyful responsibility to show this to the world
I am also getting to see and accept the sensitivity and tenderness in men and boys which has not been the case in my life as I would get extremely uncomfortable when a man showed his tenderness and vulnerability. As I accept the divine, natural qualities such as fragility, delicateness and sensitivity within my own body the more I am opening up and welcoming the natural, beautiful, divine qualities that are inherent within men and boys. The gap between what I once thought was a man and me as a woman is closing exposing that we are indeed only after one thing and that is love.
Leonne, I love this article, thank you. I see with all of the young boys that I know how naturally sweet, sensitive and tender they are, I see over the years as boys grow up that societal pressures start to take their toll, the sensitivity is still there but it gets buried and there is a hardness and protection that tries to cover it up. It feels important that we change the ideas that we have of boys as tough and rough and instead start to be aware that we have been sold a lie and that men are none of these things and are by nature deeply sensitive and tender.
Superbly presented Leonne and completely true. We are all after only one thing, to reconnect to and express our innate tenderness, love, grace and wisdom. What a true joy it is to witness men emerging from the false concepts so eagerly imposed on them from birth, allowing their sensitivity and gorgeous caring natures to be fully visible and openly expressed. The more we reclaim our natural birth right, the more we will naturally unpick the greed, competition, corruption and violence as we re-establish our true platform of decency and respect that is a core quality within us all.
This is a much needed discussion to have out in society because men are struggling especially young men the suicide rates are rocketing. This tells me that there is something wrong in our current way of living to me it seems that the women are out competing with the men and so where does that leave them? What is it about women that they feel they have to always be in competition to men. Is it possible that the woman is so out of kilter and has lost her way that this is affecting the men?
Beautiful Leonne, you are so right and the men in your life that are connected to their essence are leading the way and making it alright for all men to see that this is the thing we really want no matter how far away we have strayed.
When we both, men and women, shed the defences we have created, we expose the fertile grounds wherein the seeds of our essence are planted.
Love is what we all want most and to be able to express ourselves from our heart without reservation – men miss this deeply as they choose to respond to what they feel around them very early in life. Great to bring this to the fore and into everyday conversation and to have those men who are already returning to the love and tenderness they truly are to show others that you can live in this connection rather than having to stay in the way of living to survive without feeling the hurts we carry.
Thank you Leonne for exposing some of the beliefs that cause so much harm in society today and also the truth of the natural sensitivity and tenderness that is in every man when they choose to be who they naturally are.
Simple but true Mary, “Love,” which is our sensitivity and tenderness holds so many keys, and when connected to Love our awareness, from this divine place can “expose” a life of control as one example.
Beautifully said Leonne. The one thing we all want is the one thing we already have – all the love that we are and the space to express it.
Leonne this is absolutely precious, you have exposed so many of the lies, and the patterns and behaviours many boys and men resort to, all to protect themselves from the harshness and impositions that are directed towards them. Living with three men, my husband and my two teenage sons, I have been privy let’s say to what does come at them and what expectations are asked of them. Like women, if we leave men be men, in all their delicateness, beauty and tenderness we are blessed by their expression in all forms.
Sensitivity is possibly the most under-rated of sensibilities. We are all hugely, hugely and beautifully sensitive – men and women – yet we have managed to create for ourselves a world that is anything but. What enormous illusion, and strain, we have put ourselves under.
What a great day it will be when we have a critical mass of men living who they truly are, rather than the construct we have laid out for them. It will be the beginning of the end of so many false cultural and social and national and global ideologies. True freedom, for men and women!
Just beautiful Leonne, words of great love that cancel out gender or sex to make it all and solely about the quality of the human being and what one thing every human being wants – LOVE.
Such a great article Leonne – a real Desiderata for Men and Women alike. Men’s obstacle course is just as tough as the obstacle course created for women, and if we could all stand back and see this and understand what is happening for ALL of us we would actually be able to pinpoint where true relationship lies and how we could use awareness to step out of the mess both sexes are caught in – ridiculously pointing the finger at each other.
I used to recoil from men’s sensitivity and tenderness while I was totally disconnected from my own sensitivity and tenderness as a woman, and that is how I have contributed to ‘the horror of the competition, war, greed and violence that is very much a part of our false construction of modern masculinity.’
I love your twist on this age old expression Leonne. It is so true, that we are all after the same thing as each other, and that is love in its truest sense.
The attitudes women have towards men need to be closely examined. My experience with men has shown me that I had an investment in men being tough and unfeeling. Men that were cut off from their sensitivity made me feel safe in some way because they weren’t asking me to live the sacredness that I am. The trade off is short sighted and has resulted in much horror.
The way you unpack a man’s life Leonne, makes it incredibly clear how our current way of living lays one lie on top of the next. We are told so many ways we should be – but never encouraged to connect to our tenderness and sensitivity. Yet despite all this, it’s still there just waiting for us to let go of all of this stuff. Men are 100% Love – all we need to do is live from this knowing, it’s never too late.
I love that Joseph, it is never too late because that sensitivity is always there to be discovered under the layers of protection, and can be discovered any time we choose to let go and surrender to it, men and women. As a woman aware of my own protective layers i feel able to understand the difficulty for men in a culture that encourages this departure from a man’s true nature, and feel that my most loving support is to see straight through it and appreciate the sensitivity I know is there. This way I bring the opportunity of healing to both of us.
Hear hear Leonne, and with the increase of suicide in men I would say we need to do this now more than ever before.
I feel from experience that we encounter what we expect to see in the world. I now expect men to be super gorgeous and tender, I am really disturbed when I feel otherwise from a man on the steeet or driving. I know men to be absolutely respectful and loving with no agenda at all.
When I read the title of your blog Leonne, ‘Men are only after one thing’, it is ‘sex’ that comes to mind. Why is that? And how have we both men and women played into this falsity, and in doing so lost the opportunity to truly connect to our nature, being love. I now have deeply sensitive men in my life and it is beautiful to feel a man at ease with himself and expression of this, a true strength.
Thank you for expressing about the bombardment of ideals and beliefs that men are faced with each day to fit in. There is so much here to ponder on how we are so far from the natural way of being and one is not surprised at the current levels of suicide and isolation that many men feel.
Men and women yes, have different expressions, yet in essence we are the same. It is revealing to look at the ideals and beliefs we can accept that define our gender and take an honest look at how we may be playing into these stereotypes. The soul is genderless.
Let’s be honest, some men have a lot of behaviours that are abusive and harming but what if underneath it all was the hurt of being rejected and a forced denaturing of the natural tenderness, sensitivity and care that is the essence of every man on the planet?
I felt some sadness reading this today, in the way we are currently bringing up our young boys to men.
Beautiful blog Leonne and it brought tears to my eyes as a man to read a woman understanding men so well. Thank you.
As a man I have experienced myself growing up not being responsible with my feelings and how sensitive I am. I lost the trust to be open with who I am and just how feminine some of my ways are. It’s still a battle I find myself in a fight to be me. Sometimes it’s very harsh only because I grew up feeling how harsh it was to be rejected for that simple sensitive being that I am.
I was only recently thinking about how much I love the men in my life and how truly gorgeous they are and how beautiful it is as a woman to have men who are willing to be fully open and express all of their tenderness and share themselves. There is nothing like it, I adore the men in my life.
A Deeply beautiful sharing Leonne and so true from the depths of our hearts we all only want one thing” to live truly free to express the love that we are ” Amazingly simple really if only this was allowed and we all did, how beautiful the world would be.
Men and women of whatever persuasion are indeed only ever after one thing – to be met for who they truly are and to love and be loved. Everything else is just an aberration, in the many guises and with the varying shades of ugliness and cruelty that they come with.
Leonne thank you for sharing, your experience, it is deeply healing and inspiring to hear it from both sides and views. To understand and appreciate the tenderness all men and boys is so important.
What everyone most wants is to be who they are, and to be loved for who they are, regardless of gender. Knowing that we can give this love to ourselves, first, and then learning to live that way, starts to slowly dissolve the need for it to be sought from anywhere outside of us.
Awesome title to the blog Leonne – “Men are only after one thing” – with the conditioning in our society, the first thought that comes to our heads is often, ‘yes they are after sex’, but I love how you have given this a completely different spin, and shown how really that is not what they truly crave, that instead it is to be love and to be loved and allowed full expression.
OMG this is sooooo gorgeous and true – we are all only after one thing and it is so simple and yet so rarely lived. Yesterday I heard a snippet from parliament on the radio where one MP was repeatedly shouting at another ‘you are just a wuss’ – it was ugly and sad to hear this kind of expression and what we have allowed in our society and even consider “normal” these days.
Men are super sensitive, and they are super tender, deep within. Sadly though our world does not encourage this nor does it foster this in any way, and so it is for a boy to be born with this, then learn to be a different way in the world, to then one day perhaps un-learn this tough exterior and allow what always was within to be let out. And what a celebration when this does happen.
This is so true Leonne, it is the thing we all crave most, being either a man or a woman, as gender matters not to the Soul: “To live truly free to express the love that we are.”
I think this is one of the many reasons people drink and smoke and eat bad food.. I have recently asked my mother for an old photo of me at 2-3 years old. Where has that true divine boy gone? I also asked for a letter about my upbringing and my mother’s past hurts .
I always had a sensitive side to me but like you said got shut down from a young age.
Now after level two healing that sensitive divine boy has been restored, being around other people’s openness, love and vulnerability has opened my heart up more and more..
This is beautiful, Paul, I am finding that being around tender and sensitive men helps me to feel more of the woman I am and I feel that I can trust and be more open in all my relationships.
Thank you for this sharing Leonne – it brings a very honest look at how we have pigeonholed men and we keep them in that place. I also now know men who show how they feel and talk about how they feel, and the relationship flourishes because of this. It is a hugely different experience for me to honour these men for their sensitivity and at the same time a massive reflection for me as a woman to go deeper with my sensitivity.
The sensitivity of men can be a slow dawning of realisation – even to men themselves it would seem, such is the horrendous imposition placed on boys to live to an image that possibly resembles nothing of their innate essence.
There is nothing more heart melting than a man who openly expresses his sensitivity.
I love how you break down the ideal that men are only after one thing… I also wonder isn’t it something we feel as women comfortable with so we don’t have to be more truly intimate together because we think every gesture of a man is to have sex with you when there was actually the intention to deeply love you?
When we are born we all just want one thing to be loved for who we are (not for what we do or don’t do!), no matter whether you are a boy or a girl.
My life story summed up in a beautifully written blog. Yes it is true for most men there is almost no way you can turn without feeling your sensitivity crushed by the world around you. That is until you start to realise you do not need to react to the world but rather observe its harmful wayward ways and then the sensitivity becomes something you no longer need to fight or hide but rather becomes your greatest asset to being aware of what is truly going on around you.
‘We all only want the same thing…… to live truly free to express the love that we are’. Right on the button Leonne. Thankyou forthis awesome blog.
Yes, men are only after one thing, but we have had no true role models to hang on to the thing we want most, to be accepted for what and who we are.
Deep down we know we are sensitive, incredibly loving beings. We just need someone to reflect that that is all we need to be in the world.
Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting truth so that I can claim myself as the man I always knew I am.
Now it is my responsibility to bring that to the world, to support children to hold onto what they know is right, that all they need to do is be themselves.
Well said Ken. Serge Benhayon has been, and is, the most defining and inspiring role model to show the way of a true man for both men and women.
We should ask ourselves why the word sensitive is not a compliment for a man (and even for a women it is often used in the meaning of weak and soft ‘don’t be so sensitive’). Why is it not normal to be a sensitive and tender man. True Leonne, ‘It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity because in truth, we all want only one thing.’
Beautifully written – in a world with shockingly high levels of suicides in men, it is time we took a good long look at what we hold up to be a model of masculinity and how much this might be shutting men down to all that they really feel and would like to express.
I love how delicately you have exposed the pressure men experience to be anything other than their true sensitive, tender and loving essence. The love and honouring in the article is gorgeous. Hear hear.
A beautiful writing Leonne – yes it is, true men are deeply sensitive and hold an innate quality of tenderness that we all need to be aware of and then celebrate the great love in expression that is possible once more.
“It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity because in truth, we all want only one thing”.
This describes clearly how strong the ideals are that we have of a man (and woman), that we grow up to be someone that we are not.
What a great blog Leonne and what a huge responsibility we have to nurture the true essence of each and every child that comes into our life enabling them to live fully and to express the love that they truly are in all that they do.
It is a crying shame that we have created a way of living that means men don’t feel safe to show sensitivity, as if we were to discuss it openly it would be obvious that being sensitive and staying respectful of this as a quality is quite a feat in a world that expects men to be anything but this.
This is true Stephen. I was brought up in a household with all girls except for my dad and I still reached adulthood with the beliefs that men should not cry or show their sensitivity. Which as women makes us very hard towards the men in our life. Is it any wonder men struggle to know how to be in this world.
So beautiful to read your expression here Leonne, and bringing honour to a man’s true self that we don’t often see because of all of those things you describe and more. There is so much that can come from a man in his natural tenderness and sensitivity and it’s about time that we encouraged this divine beauty within men to come out once again.
Wow, beautiful article Leonne which describes men in their true nature – caring, tender and beholding of their love.
Absolutely Harrison, to meet a man that allows himself to be like you describe: caring, tender and beholding of love is a healing for everyone, both men and women.
Thank you Leonne for this absolutely gorgeous blog. I agree, we are all after one thing (love) but I see so many people, including myself avoiding it. But it is time for us all ‘to live truly free to express the love that we are.’
I have found what you share is true Leonne, the more I get to know men who have re-connected to their essence, their absolute tender ways of being, the more the falsehood shows up of how we have asked men to be in the world.
I agree Michelle, being in the company of men who make no apologies for their sensitivity, tenderness and playfulness is incredibly touching and yes, healing too. They even show up, how we as women can harden with protection and there are greater layers of tenderness we too, can go to.
I know a lot of women think that men are only after one thing – I think it’s sad and I feel like we need to be asking as women if this is a situation we have equally contributed to. I am also quite sure there are men out there who say the same thing about women. But the fact is when we engage with each other on this level and we don’t endeavour to understand what’s really going on, we are missing out on the richness and the care and the potential of what’s possible in our relationships.
Well said Meg
I agree Meg it is time to stop the blame game and battle of the sexes and actually all take responsibility for the situation and work together to build the type of relationships we all want and desperately miss.
‘the blame game and battle of the sexes’ yes Andrew, why are we battling against each other when we are all the same in essence and all want the same, to be accepted and appreciated for sensitive beings we are and have relationships built on this.
Beautifully said Meg, how have we as women contributed to this. What have we asked of our fathers, sons, partners, friends? Who and what have we asked them to be? And, if we find ourselves saying ‘men are only after one thing’ then what have we offered them as a reflection… have we reminded them who they are by not playing into the limiting beliefs and ideals that are out there.
Really great points Aimee. Since reading this blog I have become much more aware of my relationship with men.
How many life-times have we repeated this pattern? Times they are a-changing, for all!
Love the expression Steve, but someone has already played that tune and it is time to revive our inner-heart!
So beautifully said Meg. It is true of both sexes, we all play the same game. And it is exactly that – a game. We are indeed missing out on “the richness and the care and the potential of what’s possible in our relationships.”
We are missing out on connection to ourselves and each other by living up to ideals and beliefs that have nothing to do with who we truly are.
Yes and the more we continue to make them part of our everyday expression the more we are offered the opportunity to truly connect and having loving and open conversations with each other that are not treasured rare moments but every movement in our lives.
There are so many imposed rules and restrictions on how young men are socialised growing up. On top of that there are cultural expectations too. The bottling up that happens rather than talking about what’s really going on is contributing directly to the alarming rise in male suicides. This is an issue we all need to talk about.
The false construction of masculinity has resulted in a world where violence, war and many other horrors are an everyday reality. It is in everyone’s best interest to support men to be who they truly are.
So true Leonne. What a dire insult it is to their immense fragility, forcing men to directly oppose the immense love inside them. No wonder so many soldiers, policemen and the like suffer from post-traumatic stress due to their jobs. The writing is on the wall in big capital letters and it is such an inspiration to personally know men who are not only reading the messages, but bringing this immense sensitivity and love back to life again.
When we have conversations that calls out their true expression there is often a silence and a deep knowing from all that is felt far deeper than before.
Beautiful Leonne, it is so powerful the forces that try to suppress this very simple and basic need to be ourselves.
This is beautiful – I was brought up with the ‘men are only after one thing’ approach but I like the twist ‘It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity because in truth, we all want only one thing.’
Yes and funnily enough we all already ARE the one thing we want!!!
So True Nicola, it is us who gets in the way of the one thing we all want!!!!
And we are absolute stubborn masters at getting in the way. I will see if this struggle accounts for the levels of exhaustion that plague our planet, it takes a lot of energy fighting what you already are.