In the last couple of weeks I have found myself feeling quite surprised by the amount of time that mobile phones consume my – and many other of my peers’ – days. It is a problem and one that screams for society’s attention. I realised this as I was giving a presentation to my class at university. I observed that the majority of my peers were consumed by their phone (or laptop) screen during the presentation. This showed me the dire state of distraction we want to be in, even during the times we are there to learn. But is that the only problem?
Even though I was standing in front of the class for only a couple of minutes, I felt a feeling of uselessness as I stood there, speaking to a group of people who were engaged and distracted in their devices. While the teachers are confronted by this every single day, I could feel the impact of this problem.
Recently I heard one really honest educator voice that he didn’t know how to get our attention, to get us focussed and in tune with the teachings anymore. In response and from reaction, the ball was thrown back to the teacher by blaming him… that he didn’t make learning interesting enough.
Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?
What is more interesting than that is, as university students we seemed to be ignoring the material and teachings that will provide us with the very necessary professional skills that are required to be competent in the profession.
The skills in this particular structural engineering class were about resilience and were there to offer us the ability to ask critical questions about safety so that we could eventually be in service to humanity. Isn’t that the purpose of being at university: not keeping up with the latest cat memes on social media or the messages of our friends sitting in other classrooms who are equally distracted?
We seem to be seeking this constant distraction and stimulation, but why? Coming from my own experience, it is the reality of life we don’t want to face. Screens are the distraction from our responsibility to serve humanity, to be honest about the troubles we live with, the hurts we hold and the uncertainty of what we are going to do with our lives after university. Not knowing what our true purpose is, or being lost in the ideals of university that are put onto us by parents and others. The expectations are high in our age group; the university environment does not support the development of our whole being.
When we choose decency and respect in all our relationships we become aware of the effect our behaviours have on others, and that living in such a way develops true responsibility and true purpose.
Being able to observe all of this and learn from it is supporting me to see the distractions I seek, while also coming to terms with my own knowing of purpose. Letting myself be free to express the difficulties I face in university and life in general.
We are all amazing people learning the skills that we need to work in our chosen profession, and to truly connect with humanity, it is a waste of time to not be present.
By Benkt van Haastrecht, Architecture Student, Arnhem, the Netherlands
Further Reading:
Social Media – Connections, Friendships, Relationships…
That’s entertainment? Wired for distraction
Technology: Are you Connected?
Is it possible with a phone or tablet you can see what is going on in the world but you do not have to actively participate in it. So we can become a bystander of life, surely we have to be careful with this way of living because we can be easily led or persuaded by outside stimulus so that we are not living the truth of who we are but a very reduced form of life, I personally would call this an existence and if we look around us there are way too many examples of this way of living in our society today.
We have lost the fact that we are all amazing people and we all have something to offer each other, in this way by working together towards the end goal of leaving this plane of life we would get there a lot quicker and have less climatic and social upheaval along the way.
In this day and age screen addiction starts from very young. We watch our parents doing that so it becomes normal for us to develop the same coping mechanisms. Without a different reflection we know no different.
‘Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?’ Yes! I am wondering if your peers also had to give a presentation and if they did were they aware of the same thing? It would be a great topic to bring to the university as a whole.
An attachment to be constantly distracted by a screen is an addiction and, as with all addictions, it is hard to let go of. In my, rather old-school opinion, it is bad manners to be staring at a device when someone is talking to you.
I agree with you Mary but feel that actually there is a part of us that is looking to be distracted constantly. Because if we became more aware of life around us it would freak us out that we are not paying attention to what is really going on in life.
For example how can we say we love to watch or participate in football when all the statistics show that domestic violence which is already rampant takes an even bigger spike whether the Football team loses or wins. There is so much evidence now that this actually occurs but no one wants to take responsibility for this truth. It has recently been suggested that the Football games start earlier and not in the evening to gain more TV and social coverage. How about addressing that fact that the abuse is taking place no matter what time of day the Football starts
Could it be we are caught up in consumerism rather than our most Loving way to be and that is to be connected and appreciating our divine essences? Then no matter what generation we look into there is a form of distraction that keeps us from the simple way of re-connecting to our essences and the most glorious appreciation of who we are.
Just as if someone was to have a high sugar diet they would not find an apple or a tomato very sweet, screens have the same effect. ‘Real-life’ doesn’t have that same stimulation factor and people have become accustomed to higher levels of distraction at the cost of their mental, physical, emotional and social health.
Are we trying to turn an apple into an orange rather than simply re-connecting to our essences and live life from the appreciation that we are re-connected to our Soul or essence.
” it is a waste of time to not be present.” not just in university but in life! I suspended my FB account because I got sick of staring at it. But then I just spend more time on Instagram. The platform is not the problem it’s what’s going on inside of me that needs to be looked at, what am I feeling in that moment. Especially those of boredom. Why do I feel bored? And why just a strong pull to avoid those so-called ‘boring moments’?
Leigh you ask a very interesting question why is there a strong pull to avoid those so called ‘boring, moments? Why is there such a need to fill the gaps in our lives with a constant companion? I feel the mobile phone has taken over from the cigarette as the constant companion of choice because it is more interactive than a cigarette ever was. Is it possible that we find it less confronting having an intimate relationship with our phone than with people?
I am so aware of my behaviour in a class situation. When I don’t want to be present it is an opportunity for me to ask myself what is going on that I am not enjoying. What I have found is that it is not always the topic or what the teacher is saying but that my body is feeling other things that are going on in the room that I haven’t clocked and they are distracting me. It has been a very illuminating experience!
When we choose decency and respect for ourselves it is reflected in all our other relationships so we need to ask why we are choosing to dishonour ourselves when we allow ourselves to be constantly distracted by screens etc
Technology is a killer for conversation, I know myself instead of taking the time to connect with another I have chosen instead to look at my phone.
I listened to a radio discussion the other day. A psychologist shared how she is putting on workshops to support people to connect, as many claim that with the use of social media being their main way of interrelating there are not sure how to, especially when it comes to members of the opposite sex. Quite an eye opener.
Absolutely, I find this is a major problem for teens now. They are very at ease chatting on social media but they don’t know how to relate to each other face to face.
‘it is a waste of time to not be present.’ It is a waste of time not to be present – so what are we so afraid of? I know for me I’ve carried beliefs that I can’t cope with the ugliness of the world but I’m coming to realise I’m also not accepting the divinity that is there too and the responsibility of bringing this reflection to the world just through being present and seeing everything.
“Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?” it would certainly seem a possibility as I witness people engaged with their mobiles rather than with each other when out together. What an indictment of the society we are building.
The answer to this is to not allow studens to bring mobile phones into classrooms. I did a training as I started a new job not so long ago, no mobile phones were allowed in the classrooms or we would have been asked to leave and not to come back again.
That seems a rather obvious answer, and I am surprised it is not in place more commonly.
I think this is standard policy in French classrooms, I think? It would make sense to have this in all classrooms, lecture theatres and education settings everywhere.
It’s like we seek connection from technology when in fact we are just avoiding the connection that is on offer physically. Phones are a massive distraction if we use them in a way that is not supportive.
I wonder if we’ve got so caught up in doing that we’ve lost the joy in being and need devices to distract us from feeling how sad this is.
Decency and respect, two words that if we are committed to them and made them our everyday choice, would change the world, and we haven’t even talked about the word Love and the choice of Love in our everyday choices….we are deeply powerful and what we chose in life, is what we see in life.
There is a place that I know of, where people have to sit and wait to be tended to by the staff. And in this place they have no phones or screens of any kind. People of all ages and varying states of health, background sit there, waiting to be seen. And always, with out exception, everyone talks to each other. It is beautiful.
OK, that sounds good! More often than not it is what we crave but we are afraid to own it and make space for it ourselves.
Lets choose decency and respect in all our relationships especially those interactions we have online.
I wonder if the constant connect to others we seek from our mobile phones is link to the connection we are actually seeking to ourselves – and I wonder if we focused more on this connection to ourselves the obsession with our phones would naturally start to dissipate.
It took me a awhile to realise that I could connect with myself, within, I was searching outside of myself for answers….it is super simple when we begin to chose it, but I was so distracted looking other places. The phone and screen is certainly somewhere we loose ourselves. Many of us have an incessant agitation that we can not quell and no amount of screen time will relieve it. Learning to be with ourselves and aware of our body, is the only way to find that steady place of settlement and ease.
Beautifully expressed Samantha. Going within – and reconnecting with our innermost is simple and easy. yet many prefer to look outside ourselves for distractions. How wonderful it would be if schools began to teach young ones to reconnect with themselves.
The scream from the screen is so loud and interruptive on purpose – giving us little purpose in life and true engagement.
I had an message from a friend last night sharing how on her travels she noticed where she was the phone was the new best friend, exactly what you are saying that we have lost our true connection with people and the intimacy they offer us and settled for very shallow ones. The phone has become our new stimulated addiction and our relationships are falling by the way side.
‘Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?’ This is a great question. It gets me wondering whether our desensitisation to everything that is going on around us, as we focus more and more on our screen-worlds, is numbing us to the magic of a simple interaction with another person and all the warmth and learning that can be accessed when we really connect.
I would agree Matilda, ‘as we focus more and more on our screen-worlds, is numbing us to the magic of a simple interaction with another person and all the warmth and learning that can be accessed when we really connect.’ When I go into work, I have no phone, and so naturally connect and interact with others, in a warm and loving way.
Absolutely. We are so manipulated by marketing people who use digital devices to create hooks and stimulation that keep us distracted for hours. In the end we get addicted to the dopamine hit and life pales in comparison.
It’s kind of surreal when you look around and everyone is attached to these devices in their hand. Like the elephant in the room it’s great to share about it – but the bigger question should be why are we all doing it in the first place? For what reason do we want to escape life so much? There is gold to be found in these areas.
It feels that we are a society that is becoming more and more addicted to escaping. Escaping in a way that our senses are choosing to be so stimulated or that we are so as to not feel what is really going on in our bodies, in our lives, in our relationships and which would expose the emptiness that we are existing in when we are not living in connection to who we are. The over use of screens is a perfect example of how we can escape the reality that we actually have created from not living in connection to the innately Soulful way of life we are here to live.
The screen is never the problem. How we use it is. As I have observed anything in life can be used to evolve and deepen our connection and expression of love. Or it can be used to hide, protect and distract us away from ourselves and all around us.
There is always a choice to clock into the body or clock into a device. The more we are aware of the game the more we can choose to say – thanks I’m not playing this time around!
It is interesting that these technological devices were touted as creating easier and better communication, the ability to be able to communicate worldwide at the press of a button, communication at your fingertips 24/7, and while this definitely does have its advantages, it is actually severely limiting peoples ability to communicate face to face and to engage with each other in a truly meaningful way.
These devices distract us from feeling the truth of everything that is going on in the world around us and in ourselves, and give us the opportunity to deny our part in any of it by not looking up and out at the mess we are creating, they then stop us from connecting with others that might reflect our own fears and the need to start living in a more responsible way.
Yes I agree Rosemary – distraction is the name of the game when we resist responsibility, so as not to feel the truth of what we are choosing.
It surely is a waste of time to not be present. For it lets us not be who we are with where we are at and located. Seemingly it is a distraction away from being present, so we are able with our honesty to look at this and start bringing our presence back to the moment we are in. The Gentle Breath Meditation helps you a lot with this, building our conscious presence (being in the moment with what you do).
I have noticed that in lunch rooms I have been in, the conversation that used to be there has now been overtaken by people staring at their phones and there is silence apart from the odd phone beeping an incoming text. We stand to loose so much if this trend continues and I think we all know it.
I know I have even fallen for this addiction to distraction, the other day I was out with a meal with my family and I so wanted to look at my phone. Once I noticed what I was doing as in checking out and not wanting to stay present I put my phone away and gave my 100% attention to my family, the meal was beautiful and the connection I had was because in the end I said no to the temptation of distraction.
You have brought to light a real world problem of epidemic proportions here Benkt. I noticed just the other day a co-worker of mine was attempting to connect with a manager in an understanding and personal way, and the manager did not look up for a second from his hypnotic gaze on his cell phone during the exchange. Your blog has inspired me to speak up more when I see this, and more importantly to notice it when I have been using a computer or cell phone to check out from life myself!
I agree Michael, that is the thing we need to speak up as much as possible about this subject because it really is getting out of hand and so people can see for a start how rude it is and how very uncool it is to be so checked out and removed from what is really going on.
I was in a meeting the other day and 2-3 people were on their laptops and another 2-3 on their phones at various stages. It was so disrespectful and I thought they should be banned from all meetings unless you have a VERY good reason why you should have it. Like a life-emergency kinda of one.
It’s shocking to stand at a train station or in a queue today as looking around it’s not unusual to see everyone’s eyes completely glued to their mobile phones, which is a sad reality when you consider that these are our prime opportunities to engage with new people, observe the world around us or even just take 5 minutes to stop and breathe.
Distraction is a sure way to avoid responsibility and social media has done this very well. A great insight into what is behind the purpose of devices which has the potential to make us stop and consider how we are using the internet.
It would seem that anything and everything to do with distraction and numbness and stimulation are selling like hot cakes at the moment. This is anything from energy drinks to smartphones, to food, to games etc but no one or at least very few are questioning why the need for such escape. Well it would seem that that is a question society avoids answering.
The fact that technology has grown so quickly has left us all on the back foot of how to actually deal with it, time will indeed tell how when we use it addictively it contributes to ill mental health, dissatisfaction and discontentment.
Many of the young people I come into contact with are not wanting to face the reality they are living in, to the point of not only a digital diet of social media and gaming, but also escaping into fantasies and alternate realities in their minds…working in mental health, this withdrawal is a very concerning trend.
When someone’s making a horrible din, we look for distractions or try to put the earplugs in. What we have failed to compute is that our constant need to check out and escape everyday life also comes from a constant source – what we feel and sense is going on around us. Imagine how our attitude might change if we let life be felt?
What we are deeply seeking is connection to ourselves and to others, but we have mistaken that using our electronic devices will bring this. Instead, it substitutes a further disconnection enlarging the emptiness hole we are so desperate to fill.
In our breakroom at work, it is so noticeable when people are feeling awkward with each other because they all get on their phones. What would we have done prior to having the phones; maybe read a newspaper or chatted about the day?
Agreed Julie the phone here exposes the awkwardness but also is just the same as the paper, what if we started to put effort into connecting to each other with what truly matters?
‘…I felt a feeling of uselessness as I stood there, speaking to a group of people who were engaged and distracted in their devices.’ I have memories of this happening when I did a bit of teaching. I felt invisible. I could see other teachers address the problem with shouting or banging the board really loudly. But what I was left to ponder on was why is it they weren’t curious in anything I had to say. It felt like what only got their attention was fear of being told off, and what got their engagement was competition, being the best, or least not the worst. I felt they were growing up used to not being met so they’d given up on connection.
What if we studied why we go to these devices so much? What if instead of pushing on blindly we investigated and looked at this, with no judgement? Then we might see that this age old pursuit of distraction has always plagued humanity in many different forms. So what are we running away from? Awareness.
It’s simple – choose to not feel what is going on in the body – pick up a device!
We play a blame game in society where, when an issue or concern arises, there is a train of pointed fingers unleashed to determine who is responsible for the mess or occurrence. We each have a responsibility in the choices we make and in how our community is, and this is the only way to address things that arise, by starting with us.
Well said Susie, whatever is going on, whatever the problem we can either blame others or look at our part in that. Start with ourselves and we can inspire change, wait for the mess to be fixed and we will be waiting a long time.
Or potentially waiting forever, because there ain’t no one gonna get us out of this mess but ourselves and our choices.
It is so important to be aware of the truth of the situations in the world and be honest about them. Everything comes back to self-honesty and connection. The importance is to know how disconnection is a normal we have accepted, but also that the connection with ourselves will allow us to see beyond this lovelessness and hurt, to bring back connection first from within emanated out.
Our addiction to our phones/screens/games is telling us something about how much we want to avoid what we are feeling. Sooner of later however the body will have to eliminate the poison we collect when we ignore it.
A simple but powerful truth, Benkt – ‘Screens are the distraction from our responsibility to serve humanity…’ When we choose to check out or escape from reality with excessive screen time, we are saying no to more…more love, more connection, more evolution.
I was sitting in a courtyard at a school recently and was surprised how many young people were walking around reading their phones. I would say it was about a third and they seemed quite used to navigating through crowds seemingly oblivious to anything but the screen in their hand. It seems like there is no ‘off time’ anymore for some people from their screens, which to me means they lose one of our greatest assets in returning to and feeling our body – our walk.
Fiona L you offer us all a great observation about young people and their phones, I wonder what will happen to these young people as they grow into adulthood and beyond? Will they be the future of the rise in dementia because when young they checked out of their bodies and later in life paid the very heavy price of doing that. We do not stop to question what effects all this social media, phones, screen time, computers etc is having long term on our bodies.
It is very sad that we are choosing devices and screens over connection and engaging with people but it is a true reflection of the disconnection and separation from ourselves we are living in today. As a parent of three children my role is to live in connection to my soul and be a reflection for them and all children; to inspire that there is another way to be and live and it is not by checking out on facebook, mobile phones or the latest gadgets in technology.
There is also no decency or respect anymore because looking at your phone whilst someone is presenting or teaching lacks these two basic values. It is like reading a newspaper or being on the phone in class whilst someone is presenting or teaching. This we would never do but being on the smartphones is just the same thing.
‘…it is a waste of time not to be present…’ – days and days lived in absenteeism – is this not our true madness.
We have no issues except for the fact that we keep running away from life and who we are. We let energy scare us and dictate our days when our true power when accessed simply blows this away.
Joseph Barker I totally relate to your comment, being very aware of energy that surrounds us all as a child, I became very scared of it. It has taken me 60 years to stop running away from it and pretending its not there. As you say when we reconnect to our true power the false energy has no power over us at all.
All our screens scream attention, but none more than the mobile phone. What happened to good old face to face communication and family’s getting together in the evening, or communities getting together at the weekend and creating their own entertainment… the electrical free kind?
Yesterday we stopped at a service station, and there was a little girl of about four being settled back into the car, and the first thing she was given was her IPad. No doubt this was to keep her entertained on a long journey, but I couldn’t help but think about the long trips we took as kids and the games and songs we used to play with each other and our parents. It seems that we are checking our children out younger and then wondering why they aren’t interested in life.
Benkt, this is really interesting; ‘Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?’ I can feel that this happens with children too, that screens and T.V and computer games are so stimulating and so ‘easy’ that creative play and being imaginative are coming second.
When I last taught at the defence Force Academy, I was amazed to hear these young officers did the same… looked at screens while the lectures on….I couldn’t quite believe it.
It seems that we have descended so far into disregarding ourselves that what we see as ‘important’ to us is to seek to numbness, entertainment and distraction to avoid the lack of true connection and love we exist with and are surrounded by. We are addicted to distraction as it instantly gives us relief, even though very short lived, from the hurt we feel from not living all that we are. Yet our true potential, our Soul, always calls us to live by its impulses hence the tension and unsettlement we seek to abate.
‘Screens are the distraction from our responsibility to serve humanity…’ this felt very powerful to read and holds truth that can be felt. We use the screens so that we do not have to feel deeply what our body has to communicate which holds not only hurts to be healed but a wisdom to love and support ourselves and others.
No wonder people call them “the good old days” when years ago life was much more simple – no mobile phone needed.
So true Benkt, why bother to be there if not fully present, what a challenge for the Lecturers to teach a class who are not there but somewhere off on their devices, one wonders at the quality of services these people will provide in their chosen fields when they start to practise, it feels like very much a lowering of standards which is slowly eroding our societies values.
That’s so revealing Ariana how these tools for ‘connection’ actually don’t connect us with those around us, we safely communicate and ‘connect’ online.
At least this year has seen the creators of social media etc admit they have consciously created these platforms for no greater purpose than to make money, well those who have seen the horror of what they have created and walked away. Zuckermann is still trying to sell it as connection and love. No one is buying that anymore.
If we are seeking stimulation in life through the way we engage with our devices, the question does beg what are we looking to numb, distract or avoid feeling and being with in life in the first place?
The addiction of technology is not yet being fully understood by society, but you only have to ride a train or bus in any major city to see just how endemic this addiction is.
Imagine if 500 years ago they said that in the future we will be more disconnected and distracted from each other by machines we carry around than they were then. Does not sound like a true advance at all
Children feel when we are using our phones or devices for distraction or when we are using them with purpose and this is what they learn, so if we want our children to grow up and use their screens wisely then we need to look at ourselves first.
‘I felt a feeling of uselessness as I stood there, speaking to a group of people who were engaged and distracted in their devices.’ I see so many young parents busy on their phones while their children are trying to connect with them, is that what they learn feeling useless?
It seems like a self-perpetuating cycle. We distract ourselves because we don’t like what we see, yet we are part and parcel of the distraction, disconnection and disengagement we don’t like to see when we fall into the same patterns of behaviour. Rather than clock it and move in a different way, we clock it and join in without discerning what our body is communicating with us and therefore knowing what the next movement should be.
Ditto Lucy, we go around and around getting no-where but more and more distracted.
We are so keen to abdicate responsibility and therefore challenge people to ‘get our attention’ rather than see the respect we should and could have for those who are there to support us. Yes, of course we always need to discern what is being presented, but there is a level of decency and respect we should offer everyone. We may choose to walk away but it is very important we are aware of what we reflect because it affects people regardless of whether we mean it to or not.
I love how you bring it back to the simplicity of decency and respect which is ultimately asking us to take responsibility. We have so many problems in the world and often make them even bigger by discussing how we can solve them instead of simply returning to the very basic qualities in any relationship of decency and respect.
I know when I’m in a bit of a whirlwind I can check my phone a thousand times and keep myself in motion. This does not serve in any way. However, using my phone as and when required to stay connected with people, the world and what I need to know is totally different. It is from a centred place that enables me to feel what is appropriate and when. I use it as a tool rather than allowing it to control me.
A while ago I had a young guy working for me and his one job at that moment in time was to hold the ladder for me as it was kind of on unstable ground. I was up high enough so if I fell it would be an ambulance ride and was feeling the ladder move, sway etc and on looking down I see this guy on his phone with his shoulder kind of lent against the ladder. Well you may be able to imagine some of the choice words I showered on him but this guy soon to be unemployed again was willing to risk someone else’s life and limb because that screen was just too dam alluring.
Our lives have indelibly and forever changed with the advent of mobile phones, but perhaps we have not stopped to consider the enormous social impact of the constant distraction that is a smart phone with all its Apps, bells and proverbial whistles. I’ve started deleting anything off my phone that opens the door for distraction, choosing instead to use my phone as a tool to support my ongoing connection with myself and others.
What a great reminder how much is offered on our phones is no different to our wardrobe. If we have a spring clean why not a phone clean!
I had never considered how all the multitude of apps available are more forms of distraction, I have never got into using apps other than some of the ones that come with the phone except for recently, I downloaded an app and felt a physical difference in my body from how disconnected it left me feeling and after a day or two deleted it.
It supports me in my day to regularly delete, sometimes immediately, anything that is not needed on my phone so I do not have to read something more than once. This then helps me to use my time wisely and keeps me up-to-date with what needs to be dealt with on a daily basis.
What we can see in technology is a disconnection with each other when most of the time we go online to connect. So this prompts the question of why have we choosen to say yes to losing ourselves in devices and no to the connection with others we truly seek.
Indeed distraction is rife and the volume, speed and accessibility of data is changing the quality of our day-to-day lives and relationships, dulling them down and avoiding the open honesty that is there to be expressed and lived.
One of my clients at work said that it has been proven screens are an addiction. So true and what people are getting away with by being so in grossed with this addiction it is totally unacceptable. We have accepted it as normal and by saying it is an addiction is totally not taking responsibility for the fact that we have allowed it.
The overuse of screens in a classroom suggests how disengaged we learn to become in the education system. We want to feel alive, engaged, and honoured for the wisdom and qualities we already have, rather than the model of education where information poured into the empty vessel.
Fiona so true, its a great reflection to see how society is today compared to the past. What we hold onto as important and yet at the same time how we let go of the care and responsiblity with our kids.
It feels horrible when I’m using my phone as a distraction rather than simply for what is needed, I waste a huge amount of time and feel drained at the end of the day.
I so absolutely agree, we need to start taking responsibility first and use our devices for true purpose and only then our reflection will be felt by others to feel and make a change for them selves.
French schools in September will ban all phones in schools and its grounds! It is a start, to allow a reconnect of what has become disconnected.
That is great news Steve, I hope it takes off and the ban spreads to all our schools worldwide.
I had a young person work for me a while back and I was up a ladder pruning a tree on uneven ground and the young guys only job was to hold the ladder. I felt a bit unstable and looked down and this guy was on his phone, kind of slightly leaning against the ladder with his shoulder. Putting someone at risk like that because they are so addicted to it is unacceptable and we do need to seriously look at this problem, and banning phones at school is a good start.
Steve that is awesome to hear, it is about time schools took responsibility. If kids are not allowed ot have phones in school then there is a chance of reconnecting them back to who they truly are and their purpose of being at school.
Yeh great point Richard, we don’t often consider how our incessant need for distraction impacts the actual structural frame of our bodies.
Absolutely agree, the impact it has on our own bodies. Recently I had a body treatment where I was advised that I had a slight tightness on my neck area. This is a warning for me to look at how often am I on the phone and laptop, and where it is for true purpose or not?
I wonder what someone from outer space would think looking down and seeing millions of people just looking at screens and spending more time looking at screens than one another – I reckon they would probably think we are crazy. Life is understandably tough but we are forfeiting one of the best things about life here – and that is our relationships with other people. There is nothing better than looking into the eyes of another person and seeing there is no end to the depth and magic of that person.
It is interesting to observe why we are more interested in the screens of our mobile phones or tablets instead of the personal human interaction that otherwise would be available to us.
Yes it is very interesting to observe, how far have we gone from our own connection to truth and why are we choosing to check out and not be present in life?
Could it be that there is a lack of responsibility in this giving up behaviour in which students do not appreciate the study subjects that are presented as means they later in their profession can serve humanity with?
Benkt, do you say that we use the mobile phones to waste our time, time that otherwise could be used more wisely in the sense of developing ourselves into well trained, skilled and responsible servants of our society?
“We are all amazing people learning the skills that we need to work in our chosen profession, and to truly connect with humanity, it is a waste of time to not be present.” Totally agree Benkt and without being fully present we are not being fully responsible.
If we are so good at connecting, why have we forgotten how to reconnect – with each other and with ourselves?
Liane this just exposes how we have lost the way of truly connecting with each other and our selves that we have to use devices to try and make connection, it is really crazy how so disconnected humanity has become due to devices.
Has humanity become disconnected due to devices or – is our dependence on these devices a startling indication of the level of connection we crave due to our own inherent separation from our true self and others and thus find solace in the instantaneous, albeit superficial, connection on offer in this way? More than a ‘chicken and egg’ scenario, this sees to be one of supply and demand, as in: what we demand is what we are supplied. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a great thing that we can make contact with another at the opposite end of the globe at the touch of a finger in an instant but if we are not first connected with ourselves then what is the quality of the connection we offer to others?
It is always the misuse that then fades away and lessens the actual purpose why something was once initiated or developed. Back to the roots and using the smart technical advices by its true purpose would make a great change.
More and more people bump into each other, whilst they are in the “text-neck” posture. ( Never heard about that expression- it is crazy- but so true). Almost no one is looking up straight and if so rarely in each others eyes. Why do we avoid connection, when we all seek for it deeply inside us?!
Technical devices are a great co-partner to stay in the state of not feeling. We as humanity don´t want to feel, that´s why we take any opportunity to stay in a function- mode and drive. Question is, what do we don´t want to feel ? Why is it so hard for us to stop and feel into our body and be absolutely truthful about what is really going on?
The first iPhone had a much less dynamic and interesting set of features, and in just 11 years it has changed enormously to become so much more flashy, interactive and rich in applications and possible distractions. It’s interesting to observe how it has been OUR demand for more entertainment and stimulation that continues to evolve technology to these new heights, rather than the companies designing phones or computer etc. ‘doing their own thing’.
I remember being out for dinner at a restaurant one evening and noticed a table nearby where three people were at, each one looking at their mobile phones. I thought what’s the point of coming together when they were so far apart in not being present.
Jill I have seen this many times before at restaurant too, the question is are we all still feeding into this or are we taking a stand and making a change and reflecting something different. When there is a different reflection only then will humanity will change. Maybe restaurant owners should ban mobile phones in restaurants.
Your title says it all the device that ‘screams for attention’ it is no accident. It’s relentless voice has been created with one purpose in mind and they get to sell us things and to do that it needs to use up our time. They can be used for purpose without a doubt but only with full awareness of what it means.
Vanessa it is great what you share, the devices can be used with purpose, but until people take responsibility for themselves they will continue to check out and use the device for disconnecting and distraction.
We cannot find another human being interesting or what they present interesting if we shut off human connection, but being connected to another human being requires coming out of our protection and us willing to be vulnerable and open up ourselves. No one needs to take this on personally but we can First live this connection for it to be felt and that it’s not that scary afterall.
Screens have us addicted and totally being distracted from life. Finding out how expression works and that we have a connections to our essence, can add to our vibrancy and how we can communicate with others, this is vital in this age when suicides are going through the roof.
No wonder everyone is exhausted then, it ducks out the vitality!
It is interesting to ponder how much we are trying to avoid being in the present moment, distracting with overuse of our screens and devices. It is indeed one sure way to add to the anxiety that we are already feeling that we are not able to cope with the tension inherent in our world.
It is easy to blame the teacher for not bringing the lesson interesting enough while as student your are not willing to learn but choose to distract yourself by your mobile phone. It has to come from two way’s and we can never blame one another. There is a serious problem to look at because as a society we are loosing the interest in living life and to learn from it. Instead we choose for a life of distraction, possibly because we do not like what we see in society and to become part of that. But in that reasoning we forget that with that behaviour we then develop we will add to the waywardness society is in, while when we take responsibility and learn our lessons to get the skills for life, we can make it change to the better, a better place for all to live in.
As you say Benkt, the screens we do have in our ‘modern’ times are maybe the same as the other ways of distraction in the past, distractions we use to not take full responsibility for life and to make all of it to the best of our ability and potential. Imagine if we all would live to our potential, I may bet that the screens industry would not be as big as it is now.
So true you can’t but feel the responsibility of what is on offer when we treat people with care, respect and love and how this has then a potential for it to go even deeper. Sometimes when I feel the calm to go there it freaks me out because I haven’t let go and allowed such a true and deep relationship.
We have a best friend that we carry around with us every day, and that is our body. Yet we choose to remain distracted by giving our attention to a little gadget instead. What a tragedy.
Indeed Rebecca, nowadays our little friend seems to be that gadget instead and we forget that it is at the detriment of the other friend we then tend to forget, our body.
Loneliness and a sense of isolation are rife in society today. We feel we have lots of friends (or likes on Facebook) and contacts all over the world, but what is the quality of those relationships and can it really ever compare to sitting next to someone and looking into their eyes?
This is true Janet. To be truly connected with another is inspiring and empowering to all. This depth of connection is what people are trying to find through frenetic activity with mobile phone use. Sadly, yet another big fat lie that serves only to keep us in isolation and in separation from the love we are.
It seems that the more the world, our bodies and our general state of unwell-being reflects the degree of abuse and lovelessness we are choosing to allow in our lives, the more we seek distractions and comforts in order to not feel our utter responsibility in it all.
When I was in education I used to constantly draw. I got away with it under the banner of ‘learning disabilities’ and because my comprehension was through the roof I passed with high marks even while distracted. I didn’t know it at the time but last year I entered that same education energy and completely reverted back to my doodling days. I didn’t want to feel the oppressive ‘shut up and listen and repeat’ energy that was before us in the class. Again I passed but the doodles were an escape. As well as shirking responsibility how sensitive are we and the true quality of education?
Having read online how so many kids wish their parents phones had not been invented its time to consider our use of technology, I know I can use my phone with purpose at times that are supportive yet other times its a complete distraction and thats the part I feel our kids hate, when we choose to check out on our devices as then all the kid has is a cell phone and a checked out parent.
I have noticed that phones can consume our lives, for communication, checking the weather, our heart rate, our sleeping patterns, shopping, films, music, diary, games everything you think you need in the world we can find on the phone. Our heads down, not engaging with the present moment of where we are and who we are with. I do need to use my phone to connect and plan, but I am acutely aware of what I role model, do I dabble in social media a little to long, linger on an article for indulgence….this is what my children see….it matters for my health and theirs that I use it responsibly. And these behaviours do not stay at home, responsible actions are felt by our communities.
Decency in our interactions are key to turning the current appalling state of affairs. Everybody is checked out.
We feel the moment and what needs to be done, but then do something completely different instead. Phones is one thing, but often we use ‘helping others’ or ‘doing my duties’ to achieve exactly the same effect.
It is of a deep concern that ‘our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’. How have we got to the point that life could be seen as boring or too much or a challenge to engage with that we need to escape via our devices and screens.
Pretty easily really we have lived like this for thousands of years we have just stepped up the way we deal with the pain of separation.
“This showed me the dire state of distraction we want to be in, even during the times we are there to learn” – yes it would seem that these days and what with the new/latest technologies the new education is about learning how to distract ourselves in the fastest, most convenient and most ways possible. Where the quality of our interactions , focus, attention spans sink to their lowest ebb along with our overall health and sense of wellbeing. Distraction i.e. non-(self) connection is a global illness that is confirming it as being one of the deepest rots to the evolution of the human race and to our true existence.
I was in a doctors waiting room a while back and even though it had big signs saying no phones in waiting room people were not taking a blind bit of notice, it seems this modern phenomena has really got us sucked in and we can’t seem to go even a moment without checking Facebook, our emails or whatever.
Kev thats so true, we are so addicted to our phones that whereever, whenever we can we hop on them. Why such an addiction?
I was talking to my cousin recently who is a teacher but had been out of teaching for a while and she was saying how shocked she was going back teaching pupils who now had phones which were not banned in the classroom making life even harder for the teacher. I can’t see why they just can’t be banned in the classroom or in lectures.
Oh to be at the front of the class trying to talk with the rest of the class .. I think every student should in every class should have the opportunity to do this. As part of my job I go into schools and hold workshops in secondary schools and am very aware at times when young people go on their phones. It is an addiction .. there is a constant pull for us to check our phones and not engage with life around us. Great that you got the opportunity to get to see this and feel what it is like … and then write a blog on it!
My mobile phone literally calls me from my pocket! And my body seems to have an automatic movement to respond to it. Taking care to take command of our movements and make sure they are consciously chosen is so important, otherwise we are running with an energy that is not true.
Rebecca that is so true, its so easy to be run by our phones, however if we let go of the need to be on the phones then we can start to have some real connections with people not just social media.
While we can get a sense of uselessness when standing in front of a group of people that are pretending to be not interested, or in this case distracted by their devices, we have a choice to feel a little bit deeper. My experience is that it is the emptiness we can feel from living in such disconnection as it is so completely the opposite of who we are, deeply connected and interconnected beings that naturally are connected. We need to pull in a considerabele amount of force to disconnect from this natural connection that otherwise is naturally there. Not so strange that people are so exhausted nowadays.
The behaviour you describe in the school situation is very disrespectful to what is given as an opportunity to study and learn about the subjects of physical life, knowledge we need to further life and serve humanity with. What will this type of behaviour lead to? Will it produce engineers that are unprepared to do their jobs and thereby possibly can design harmful or not supportive objects for people to live with?
Yes, the question of where this behaviour will lead does need to be questioned. Will it lead to fully committed, focused employees who are open to developing great working relationships with colleagues? Or will the standard of graduates reduce?
A great and honest sharing on the responsibility we all have with our relationships with each other and our devices. Important and a knowing that brings a true understanding to what is going on in the world and the reality of the respect we can offer each other and espcially our teachers in learning situations.
Having gone back to work after a short time I was struck by the purposelessness there was all around. It felt like people didn’t really know why they were there and that they were working on their own agenda rather than being part of the whole group.
I do know that too Elaine, the disconnectedness people can live with and that they are only there for their own interest is sometimes hard to see, or better I could say to feel.
When we find ourselves scrolling through social media, watching random videos or searching for something interesting to look at online, a great question we can ask ourselves is what the PURPOSE is of this moment, and all the moments that have added up to equal our time on the Internet… While we spend 2 hours staring at a screen, the world has rotated on it’s axis, people have been working, resting, connecting with their friends or families and so forth.
Reading this I’m feeling the lack of personal efficacy people feel in the world. Rather than feeling this deep sense of loss of purpose, distraction suffices. How important it is for me to not get caught up in the muddy pool of comfort and step forward prepared to feel and see it all. I’m starting to open my eyes to what the world, and I have been living and like everyone it would be easy to step back into distraction. But I know how swimming in mud feels and it’s time to get clean ?
Sometimes we become so conditioned in life to constantly stimulate our nervous systems that we lose that ability to just be fully present in the moment and be.
And boy oh boy does it change the parenting landscape. Quite apart from all the usual pressures as kids become teenagers, this adds another element that can be a daily pitched battle between the attention grabbing headliner in your pocket vs normal everyday life and activities. I really don’t think we have thought this one through, no one is taking responsibility and its not going to end well for humanity – there will be casualties.
That is very true Benkt, being present is actually much more pleasant than checking-out and feeling numb at the end of the day! This means we need to look at many things where we are used to check-out: for example when eating, when sitting on the toilet, when sitting in a chair behind our computer etc.etc. Thank you for bringing awareness to this subject.
Connection is something that needs to be reinstated now more than ever into our everyday, as relationships are what life is actually all about.
This makes me wonder how the next decade or so is going to play out, are we going to go deeper into this world where we don’t have to connect to anything but a screen or are we going to start to miss the true connection we have with real things and relationships. What scares me is that in some cases these kids are literally born with a phone or divice in hand and know no different. I love that mobile phones and iPads etc weren’t around when I grew up so I can take them or leave them but I can see how kids may struggle when these devices have been used as baby sitters and pacifiers.
Good question Kev, and no one knows. Its like we are playing roulette with a massive proportion of humanities psychological well being at stake and no one has any idea whether it will be red or black (and I doubt if either is a happy outcome)
Have you ever been on a dinner date or had a conversation with someone and their phone rings or a message appears in their in box and how easily this can cause a distraction? I have many times and now I can understand why. I am learning to observe the situation with understanding and openness. I find it is interesting and have noticed how much our society is dependant on distractions not only from our devices but from many other forms as well and what this is telling us.
The captivation we have with screens and the way they are used to create a different reality from our essence should be understood as one of the most disturbing energies there is and I hate that form of evil has not been exposed.
2 D Screens are no match for the educating reflection of the living world.
“…it is the reality of life we don’t want to face” I agree Benkt, but it is also the reality we have created.
It has become an epic plague not just for university students but for most people. We have become addicted to what the screen will give us and that is feeding our emptiness of not being truly connected to our inner essence. If its not the technology then it is another addiction.
It is totally devastating for humanity that our phones and our screens make real life look dull. Where will we end up if this continues?
Wow, this is an interesting thought. I feel if we continue down this path then it means humanity will be falling deeper into the spiral of misery and emptiness. It sounds all doom and gloom but life is certainly not like this when we wake up to the joy, liveness and beauty of life. It isn’t the phones and our screens that is the problem, it is simply that fact that if we as a race are choosing to not see the glory and magnificent of life then we will continue to invent and fall for the distractions and numbing options to not feel and live the grandness that we are.
There are more and more reports of borderline sociopathic behaviour attributed to the lack of synaptic development in the brain around relating to real people. The trajectory on this is not looking great as more and more of our young people spend more time on their screens than communicating face to face.
The fact that a small screen seems to have replaced the wonderful widescreen view of the world that is there waiting for us every day, is really challenging for me who grew up in a device-free era. And to read of your experience in the lecture hall had me shaking my head in disbelief. I can totally understand your feeling of “uselessness” and wonder how the teachers are able to deal with the distractions and the blatant disregard on a daily basis.
An ongoing degradation of the value of human relationships does not have a pretty outlook. There are young people who are waking up to this already and making different choices (screen free days; screen free get togethers; screen free meal times…
It cannot be disputed that these types of devices are used to check out and avoid reality. No wonder people’s mental health rates have exploded as people are craving true connection.
I see this in many young adults around me, how many of them are struggling with life and most of them are addicted to checking out on their devices. It would be an interesting study to do on the correlation between depression and addiction to devices for young people.
The distraction of technology and mobile phones is enormous and something we are obviously seeking but is taking over our lives changing concentration appreciation and communication, relationships and brotherhood as a way of being just at a time when connection with ourselves and others is needed more than ever and is missing from society as a whole.
I can imagine Benkt, that you can have a feeling of uselessness when you present to a class of peers that are more interested to what is happening on their phones then what you are presenting, but too how the teachers of today are struggling with this reality too. Point is that we do not have to make our presentations or lessons more attractable, but have to look at the underlying cause of it all, why are we seeking distraction above learning the subjects that we will need in life to become the professional in our field of service. Do we try to avoid here something?
It could well be that there is a general reluctance of taking responsibility and to really feel that we have a purpose in life that is to serve for our societies and not solely only to have a comfortable life for ourselves.
As with every situation our quality of presence in our interactions is what is important. Are we present with the person or distracted by where we are going to or holding onto the past?
Whenever we don’t feel great, the phone offers a great distraction. Could that be a big reason why we are so attracted to the distraction?
The purpose of university itself has been very blurred, and no longer are they treated as hubs for true education, training and development, like the ancient universities and libraries around the world such as Alexandria, but a lot of people now apply for the ‘uni life’; drink, drugs and rock and roll.. Anything but to gain true wisdom and experience.
I’m so glad I grew up in an era that didn’t have all the screen use because it seems alot of kids these days don’t stand a chance. They have had screens as baby sitters and screens to keep them quiet and screens to keep them inside instead of outside running around playing and experiencing the joy of this. I have seen how easily it is to get sucked in and addicted, when I got my first computer, I played a game that was on it all night and that was enough for me to see it for what it was and not go there again. It was like getting drunk for the first time, having not ever touched alcohol before but if you grow up with alcohol as a regular thing the impact is not so noticeable.
It feels to me that in a few years time we will actually be having to teach people how to communicate with each other without a screen in front of them.
There is more than a sense of irony when we are supposedly living in a time of civilisation when things are as good as they ever have been because of technological advances and science etc. and yet we are seeking to be distracted from life more and more. Perhaps we are missing some of the lessons from the past in our way of life and the answers we need are not in the future but are in fact ancient.
The state of university and learning institutions with mobile phone and device distractions is a reflection of our current society and the way we are heading and communicating in life devoid of real connection responsibility and love with each other and the reality of what we really crave in the brotherhood and togetherness we are innately from and the responsibility and joy this allows.
Yes, it makes it difficult to teach if few people in the room are present.
Why are we not wanting to face the reality of life and the world? Could it be because we feel helpless and powerless to make a change and feel a victim to the world? I have found that in taking responsibility of my own life and making loving choices for myself, i am empowered and feel far more able to have purpose, direction and an influence in my world.
The way we use phones shows so clearly that we are super addicted to distraction not apps or information specifically. What are we wanting to be distracted from? Our awareness and power. Crazy huh?
Yes, and what I have noticed is that the need for distraction have hugely increased, when I was young we watched TV in the evening only, in fact there were no programs in the middle of the day. Nowadays I know a lot of people turn their TV on the first thing in the morning and some even have one in every room, in addition to everything that goes on on the phone. We must be really fearing the grandness of our own being, so much so that we can’t stand being in our own company.
Today I learnt that the technology has been produced where you can hook an ear piece in that can read your internal dialogue and turn it into verbal communication or process it through a computer, much like a mental Siri where you can ask questions in your head and get the information back without opening your mouth. There is so much to this that will impact humanity if it becomes widely used, such as communication break down and a lack of real skill when we can have all information in our ear, why learn anything? When mobiles are already creating barriers to connection, how will this advance all impact us?
‘The expectations are high in our age group; the university environment does not support the development of our whole being.’ And that is something else to take into account, how equipped is our education system to deal with more than only knowledge, bringing the true values into the system of how we can work together and serve in the jobs where they educate the students in.
“When we choose decency and respect in all our relationships we become aware of the effect our behaviours have on others” Being socially responsible is the way to go yet the way we are heading right now with the way the internet is is the complete opposite to this.
I was a bit shocked on the weekend when I went to a conference and the question time at the end of the presentations was even done via mobile devices and a big screen rather than the old pass the microphone round! And what was even more interesting was that there was greater participation in the questions as a result of using the mobile devices and many questions that did not have a name to them. This makes me wonder if our mobile devices, as useful as they are with communication are becoming a convenient layer of protection or a barrier or screen (pun intended) that we are putting up between each other to make it look like we are communicating but actually we are not connecting with each other on any meaningful level.
Interesting Andrew, it could well be that there for any reason is a reluctance to stand up for what we have to share with the world. Instead we choose for namelessness and empty questions and words that go nowhere but just give the idea that we are involved but in reality avoid in taking any personal responsibility.
It would be really interesting to track how often we use our phone throughout the day, I am sure many of us would be shocked at how often we are using it. It’s one thing to use the phone as a tool to connect and do business etc but when used as a constant distraction and to check out on, we really need to be honest with what’s truly going on that we feel the need to escape.
I love the challenge of living in a distracted world where it feels we are not present with each other and that feels like rejection. What an amazing opportunity to live in such a world so we take the opportunity to be very present, caring and deeply appreciative of ourselves, to first give ourselves the love that we are looking for and do not find.
‘Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?’ This is so true Bent – We disconnect, check out and complain because we are not ‘entertained enough’. There is no self responsibility or appreciation for what we can bring to life in this.
Its a great question – how on earth do we plan on being present when our attention is elsewhere? And when this is a consistent way of living that spans those formative years, how big a hurdle is that to retrain someone (let alone an entire generation) to be present and focussed at work and in adult life?
I definitely have to watch why I go to use my phone – am I consciously and purposefully using it or just checking out and looking for a bit of a respite during the day.
And meanwhile looking at the phone there is also war, hate, corruption, lies, murder, domestic violence, hurt, sadness, judgement, social unrest, those feeling completely lost from themselves, indulgence, rape and the list goes on and on. What are we really choosing when we escape from life and are we by doing so allowing all the evil to continue?
It is like our mobile phones have become our best friends that we take everywhere and feel empty and lost when we are without them. The other day I was sitting with others with my phone in my hand and their phones in theirs whilst we were all doing something probably seeming important, suddenly it was so obviously weird and it felt very uncomfortable for me. This has become our reality, our normal. It totally obliterates connection, just having a chat and having a laugh with someone. To me it feels like we use it also as a form of comfort when we feel uncomfortable being with others, having our phones so we don’t have to feel awkward sitting with others in silence.
Observing people in cafes or out on the street it certainly seems that they are more engaged with their screens than with each other, even when sitting with one or more people. The hooking energy can be subtle but becomes something of an addiction when a virtual world is more engaging than real people and real life.
The excessive use of screens is not something that I think we can fix instantly, however, in such a relatively small amount of time, these little devices have made quite an impact on all our lives. But I feel that their legacy will not be the implements of an advanced era, but rather, a period in time when people simply chose not to connect with eachother to the depths that they could.
Our rules and mores about technology use in society have not kept pace with the changes that are occurring. It is now common for people to not engage at all with each other and be lost in their phone or device. If we want to have a society that works well together and is connected we need to reconsider what is ok with these devices.
Yes, I agree, and there is something very practical about applying this. Observing when I swerve off to a familiar distraction and then putting myself back in line open to feeling what it is that I was trying to avoid.
The truest and most complete definition of what a waste of time is – ‘not to be present’ – simple and undeniable, thank you, Benkt.
So true, I often feel this missing or like time is slipping through my fingers when I am checking out on facebook, seemingly giving myself a good time by watching all that is posted on it but the truth is I am not there and that is what creates the feeling of incompleteness and lack of time later on. I am becoming more and more aware that there is space for everything in a day but when I misuse the time it always catches up with me by later on having not enough time for things I truly felt to do.
Distraction and stimulation is certainly the name of the game with not only our phones but also with other aspects of how we live. The more we have, the more we seek.
This is so true, Benkt – “Screens are the distraction from our responsibility to serve humanity, to be honest about the troubles we live with, the hurts we hold and the uncertainty of what we are going to do with our lives…”. When we would prefer to look at a screen rather than connect to the person in front of us, we know there is a problem.
I know when I am doing this – turning to my phone for distraction. Sometimes I have to make myself sit on my hands! There seems to be an inbuilt habit of reaching for my phone. Great if I actually need to use it, but not so great if I don’t.
Yes it was interesting to me when I returned to teach at the Australian defence Academy… In my day you sat straight and absolutely focused… I couldn’t believe it when people were actually on their mobile phones in class… What a different world.
OK – so this is happening in the defence Academy but consider where else….. perhaps when a trainee Doctor is in their class, or someone on a Health & Safety course, or getting that update on the fire regs. If we check out at that critical moment we are leaving lots of little door ways open and that increases the potential for things to go wrong that could otherwise have been averted.
This is happening in all walks and areas of life, i have seen it happen in work meetings, family dinners, people walking down the street etc etc , but never considered what is happening for students at University – the constant use of mobile phones and other technological devices. We could argue that mobile phones connects us to others and we are in communication, but what is the quality of the communication, is it really connection or to be distracted from what is in front of us, our life. It is a way we take ourselves out of life to seek some kind of relief, distraction or stimulation.
These devices could bring us closer together as a form of communication and connection with each other, rather than reducing ourselves and our relationships
“Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?” This is a pretty shocking question, but one that I feel is in fact true for many people. I have to admit, that there was a time not so long ago when I couldnt understand why anyone would want or need a smart phone, but I do now have one and tend to rely on it in a way that I previously never imagined that I would.
It is super useful to see how gadgets impact our life, but not in order to blame the gadget but to ascertain more precisely the need within ourselves that reaches out and colludes in this scenario. And so to clarify exactly what needs addressing within ourselves.
The discerning and use of these gadgets to support our connection is the marker that has been bastardised by the glitz and shine that moves us far from the true purpose and leads us further from the craving for connection that we are aimlessly searching for on the screen.
“Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?” I would say its more then possible it happening and happening now. People are becoming so hooked on stimulation via there devices many are forgetting the magic and absolute beauty of the real world.
I watched 2 women say goodbye and go on their way yesterday, and they both picked up their phones and were engrossed in them as they walked their separate ways. It made me wonder what is going to happen on earth when our phones are consuming us completely. It is like some 1960s bad horror movie, and it is happening now.
I agree Heather it is as though our phones have become part of us, it is very rare these days to see someone just waiting, standing or sitting by themselves without being transfixed by a phone. I was in a doctors waiting room which had a sign saying No mobile phones but several people didn’t take a blind bit of notice of the sign. We need the rise of a super villain like Dr Evil to take out all the telecommunications for a while and see how we get on then.
Whenever we want a distraction these days we have at least two constant opportunities: Food or a screen or both at once. In other words, we don’t ever need to be bored or deal with issues that are not urgent – there is always a distraction.
I just had an upgrade on my phone which has a new type of screen. It makes all the colours stand out so the images are even crisper and more defined, however it does make me wonder if this is just one step further away from the natural hues and light of the real world, that will increasingly become less appealing compared to the artificial perfection of the screen version.
Mobile phones were meant to be tools to assist us, we have now allowed ourselves to be the tools that are controlled by them!
Such a big influence in our everyday lives now, and we have yet to fully understand the ramifications of screen time, and what our kids are receiving from an increasingly young age. We are conducting a 7 billion person experiment, knowing that there are costs to our mental and physical health, work ethic, relationships, sleep patterns.. the list goes on. We do this willingly, endorsing our favourites, eagerly upgrading, allowing the toddlers to swipe almost before they can walk or talk. How will this all turn out? At what point did we take any responsibility?
This is huge Simon. This 7 billion person experiment which we have embarked on, is already showing many signs that all is not that great. And we all do know this will just increase.
While we carry on blinkering our view and keep just focusing on the bits that we like, we will continue sliding until it all blows up in our face and we are shocked into reassessing what we have been choosing.
Super important to bring this to our daily conversations, just so, at the very least, we cannot feign surprise when the fall out manifests – which, with our dire statistics for current mental well-being, it already is.
It is becoming increasingly difficult for teachers in schools to teach because a huge majority of the students come to class already over stimulated. Even if the students are not on their device in class they often find it difficult to engage with people because they are not used to focusing on someone talking, connecting in groups or one on one discussions.
A vital point you are making here Benkt. It is true that in my generation, where there were no screens in school or uni we had other means to distract ourselves, however screens are very engaging and unless you are very on to it and aware you can get sucked in quite easily. I observe that with myself in the gym when they hang right in front of you, it is hard to not look and when you take a glimpse, it is like glue, you really have to unlock your eyes again and focus on something else, it is so easy to completely loose yourself.
“Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?” – i have noticed myself not liking photos without a filter, not really being present because I’m more focused on the screen. We are only just beginning to see the impact that our reliance on technology is going to have
Fighting what we feel seems to be our no. 1 issue and yet what we sense is our super strength. It’s time we architected life around amplifying our awareness not trying to concrete over it.
Although I was at Art school and not in an academic environment my uni was a very different environment to what you describe here Benkt. We didn’t even have computers or mobile phones, the radio was about as high tech as we got. But there was still plenty of opportunity to checkout, disengage and not want to feel what was going on, we just did it by different means.
It seems mad that the very things that are supposed to make our lives easier are actually messing us up and making us lazy and ill-equipped to cope with life in general.
I agree Kev and it is the misuse of technology that is the harm not technology itself. With everything we have been offered, we are constantly supported to accelerate our evolution but if we choose not to evolve we have an array of things to distract us and numb us out. The choice is always ours, to evolve or to numb?
Respect is such a key part of all relationships, and it’s so true that this is becoming more and more absent from schools and universities where students don’t feel the need to respect their teachers because of this ‘who cares’ attitude and laziness from spending so much time on screens, amongst other reasons. It’s true that this respect works both ways, so it is definitely a relationship we can work on from both ends of the stick – as young people we need to understand that our attitude and behaviours have a direct impact on others, and we have a purpose in life, and for teachers to maintain a high quality lesson or lecture theatre that is calling everyone to be greater, more responsible and learn mutually.
The happier I feel about myself the less I want to reach for my phone. If I am feeling miserable it is easy to want to lose myself in social media and the internet. But this does not help! Spending time with ourselves and connecting with others is so much more healing and rewarding. We just need to make the effort to do so.
I can relate to what you are saying here I try to seek connection through social media and the internet instead of going to the only one thing that will support me coming out of feeling miserable and that is me, connecting to me and my body and if there is really something in the way I seemingly cannot overcome myself, connecting to others is always more loving than any social media on my phone or laptop.
We are definitely wasting our time when not present and also the walls come closing in around us so we seek relief from that tension by going to our screen. When we are present with our essence then we seem to have all the space in the world and thus no need for distraction from a screen.
Yes Greg, I totally agree. There is nothing greater than the space felt than when we are with our essence. For us to even want to get on to a device, or be in front of a screen (just as wanting to eat more than needed or foods/drinks that are not supportive to our body) – is a clear indicator that we are wanting to fill a gap, the gap of us not choosing to be with our essence. It is a tension in our bodies as our Soul is always calling us to come back to our true inner selves. Yet as we observe ourselves it is clear to see as a society we are choosing to not live what is there and are therefore left in the seeking of filling the tension of the lack of connection, the lack of space, the lack of joy etc with being busy on our phones and other screens to distract, dull ourselves and so on.
We are seeking relief by going down the rabbit hole that the device in our hand provides us. One but needs to search the WEB for videos of what has happened while glued to the screen that is anything other than relief, up to and including death.
It would seem prudent to ask why we are so desperate to distract ourselves through screen time, at the expense of our learning, our relationships and health. What is it about ourselves and life that we cannot handle and are constantly seeking relief from?
Great question Rachel. I love how you have taken this further to say in this example it is actually at the expense of learning – a learning the students have taken part to be part of and are choosing to be on their phones. How much does this really say not only about the lack of connection but the commitment? the respect? I could never imagine payin for a course that is going towards what I learn for my future profession and then not giving my attention to it while also ignoring those who present in front of me. There’s quite a lot of standards that have been dropped in this example given in this blog.
Great question Rachel. There are many things in life we are often trying to numb. This is some of the things we avoid: our awareness, connection, our multi-dimensionality, our grandness and from not living this we try to numb out the tension we can feel. We create a huge amount of tension if we hold back who we are, not expressing ourselves in full or when we close down our connection.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard of it but there’s an app you can download on your phone that actually tells you the amount of time you spend on your phone. I tried it a few years ago and the time spent was shocking, it could be 4 hours or more. That’s like almost a quarter of my day! How could I waste that much time? I quickly deleted it, but I love how you are bringing to the forefront here the question of how the amount of time we spend on our phones could be affecting our lives and our thoughts and perceptions on life much more than we realise.
I consider myself lucky to have grown up without all the gadgets and can take them or leave them but it does concern me to see the reaction of some people when they have their devices removed. It is up to all of us to show how great and full life can be not glued to a screen because for a start this is the world we will be reborn back into and what will the future look like, a bad science fiction movie?
I feel the same Kev. The reactions that I’ve seen people display because they do not have there phone is a healing as they are getting to feel just how much they rely on it. Only when we get honest with the problem and feel the great tension can we then make a choice to do something about it.
Same here Kev, I had some gadgets but nothing like todays gadgets – the world moves on but our distractions and quality seems to get eroded year by year.
That phone does scream for attention… watch me, watch me, use me, look at me. It is like the most needy boyfriend or girlfriend on the planet! Perhaps time to put down the phone and look up at the world.
In addition to the needy calls or messages on the other side – also that screaming for attention has been researched by phone companies. There is a reason why the alerts are the colours they are, to create an emergency in us to answer them.
Yes, fulfilling a great need for distraction and being very needy itself.
Hard to imagine the loss, when we shut down in this way and limit our view to communication on small screens and mobile devices, ignoring what is around us. We miss the amazingness of life, people and nature.
The forces that exist that are forever trying to knock us off track are permanently trying to get us to narrow our view of life because by condensing our view of life, we condense ourselves. We may think that technology opens up the world but when we shut ourselves down and off in order to use it, it doesn’t open anything up, it simply closes us down to the grandness that we are naturally a part of.
Beautifully said Alexis. It is how we use our phone, to what purpose, that counts. I shall also be more aware today, now, of the quality that I bring to conversations. Thank you.
So true Alexis – certain types of technology draw us in if we do not read the energy and hook they come with which panders to our own disease with what we feel. I sometimes find myself in this position and it feels awful afterwards which make me realise just what happens whilst I am not as present.
We must be so grand, for the distraction and stimulation is so great and increasing.
Yesterday, I spent a few hours in a beautiful garden with a friend. We walked through a rock garden and blown away by the multiplicity, delicacy and beauty of flowers and plants, each with its on quality and vibration. To be in direct communication with nature in this way was awe inspiring and far surpassed any on-line experience via phone or mobile device. A call and reminder to re-connect with nature, people and life in real time.
What is concerning here for me is that your generation, Benkt, and younger are going to come out of school and university ill-equipped to deal with the realities of life such as relationships, teamwork, decision-making, taking initiative etc and so will be unemployable. Where will our future workforce therefore come from..?
I have lots of difficulties to face in life, not that my life is harder but there are lots of responsibilities to take, this is not a punishment but an opportunity to evolve and to be in this world fully and commitedly, so to not need to be here one day.
Such a call to look at our way of living and all that we can feel and yet are desperately trying to avoid.
‘I felt a feeling of uselessness as I stood there, speaking to a group of people who were engaged and distracted in their devices.’ – this has become all too familiar way beyond the classroom, it’s a rapidly spreading epidemic. We have become so used to the distraction of our screens that we are now using this as a way of avoiding connection with each other. Even when we are conversing together, with our phones readily at hand, it can feel like we’re not really all there.
I am wondering what the long-term implications will be from the overuse and reliance on screen time, used as a distraction and a form of escape? Surely the depth of our relationships, ability to communicate and concentrate on tasks in hand is compromised.
I agree Rachel, I am particularly concerned about the younger generations who are growing up with screens as their best friend, their go to place for immediate comfort and relief, and not just one screen. It has become commonplace for teenagers to be listening to music, while texting on their phone, with facebook open, while ‘supposedly’ working. It’s called multitasking, but what it feels like is an avoidance of connection with self and, therefore, with everyone else. If we’re not connected with ourselves first, what is it that we are then bringing to each other in our relationships?
The driverless cars are knocking on the door that will allow us even more screen time! Just one more thing we will no longer be responsible for. We will become the lost generation for we will not lie in-between our destinations.
“When we choose decency and respect in all our relationships we become aware of the effect our behaviours have on others, and that living in such a way develops true responsibility and true purpose.” So true and beautiful and so different to the distraction checking out and numbness created by the world of screens and current way of living that is becoming accepted today .
After I talked to someone on the phone yesterday I realised I had spent the whole conversation focused on something I was doing on my computer screen, not giving the person, any sort of respect or anything close to the attention they deserved. Not only that what I was doing on my screen didn’t get the full me. I felt bad about the conversation because the person could probably feel my attention was elsewhere. We really need to see our devices as tools and that is it and give people or what we are doing our full presence and the respect they deserve.
What you bring here Kev is something so common. We sometimes find that we can and should do different things at the same time to optimise the time, but if we are not fully present in one activity, this absence of us will be in everything we do. We will have results, but not true encounter and no depth or richness in what we do.
The question is: If we are not present, what is there instead of us? What imprint we are leaving in what we do?
These things can only scream for attention if we allow them to. So it begs the question what do we make more important in the world – connection with our selves and each other, or isolation sought through an inanimate object? Which one will deliver what we are truly seeking?
What is it that we are avoiding in our connection with self and each other, how can there truly be anything more exquisite than the opportunity to openly and honestly share with each other. To appreciate and support each other as we take our relationships to a whole new level.
Sad so many of us have relegated ourselves to the lowest rung on the ladder and use mobile devices to distract us from feeling what is truly going on and how far we’ve fallen.
I saw a trailer for a movie recently and was taken aback by how much intensity there was – it was the end of the world, in the midst of a war with giant sized monsters to contend with. It stopped me in my tracks to consider what kind of state humanity is in that it is calling for such high levels of over-stimulation in order to be entertaining.
“We are all amazing people learning the skills that we need to work in our chosen profession, and to truly connect with humanity, it is a waste of time to not be present” – yes Benkt, indeed, and also the point of everything whether that’s a job, relationship, parenting, marriage, friendship .. is about us evolving one another through being present within ourselves so we are understanding of the course of action, of what’s around us and of what’s going on with people as well as ourselves too, Inter-connectivity with the human being over that of a screen/mobile device.
There was an incident recently that made the news were a person had fallen out a window and was hanging on while a person was recording it on their phone without helping and the person fell and died. How much news is now provided by mobile phones? How far have we drifted from helping others in real need to filming it in the hope of it going viral on multimedia?
“Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?”
Any stimulation we choose whether it is sugar, TV, alcohol or coffee takes away our ability to be fully in this world.
‘Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?’ – great point Benkt, I am very aware that the younger generation are so used to being constantly stimulated on their screens it’s affecting their ability to stay present and focus on anything, which does not bode well for our future workforce.
When it is required for work too, we spend literally all day just moving from one screen to the next. I wonder if this has any part to play in the distressing situations society has moved itself into…
We live in such an amazing world, shame we miss so much of it from having our heads stuck in our phones, such a miniscule aspect of reality to become absorbed in.
This is stark example of where we are at in society when we actually are presenting to a group and they continue in the screen time…but then this is really how life is, it is normal to check out on screen time in front of family and friends, etc and it is not questioned by many…what are we trying to avoid with our heads buried in screens?
A Restaurant in a North Welsh town, one day a week offers a 25% discount on meals for diners who consent to not use their phones during their meals. Phones are placed in a locked box at their table and returned at the end of the evening. Diners interviewed said not having phones opened up conversations with families and partners, they might not otherwise have had.
Families are now counting the cost of obsessive mobile device use in the home. Once considered the problem of children and teenagers, we now learn from children that parents fixated with phones and tablets are not there for them. When family members prefer conversations with on-line communities, rather than each other, some thing has gone terribly wrong.
Texting stunts our communication. How many times have we wanted to say something and then reduced it into a few words so that we do not have to type as much?
Depending on how we use devices and the quality of connection we have with ourselves we can so easily be distracted from the moment and bringing ourselves fully to it.
We are stimulated by our screens to the point that we are completely numb to our life and all that happens around us. As a whole we are slipping into a very dark space because we are not coping with the increased awareness we all now have access to due to the recent energetic shifts that have taken place to help us arise out of this mess. Expect this to get a lot worse before it gets any better as we make the necessary adjustments. Heaven knows, as do we all, that we cannot continue on like this.
Benkt I feel you have hit the nail on the head when you say
“We seem to be seeking this constant distraction and stimulation, but why? Coming from my own experience, it is the reality of life we don’t want to face.”
I honestly believe that it is the reality of life that we don’t want to face because we do not want to admit that actually as a race of human beings we have really stuffed up and we would rather distract ourselves than face the mess we have created and continue to create. My question has to be how worse does it have to get before we admit we are neck deep. Judging from the world events possibly another world war.
Very true Mary. And we would rather allow this distraction than sit with ourselves and feel the mess within our own bodies. If we have been living in a way that causes pain, this is there to be felt whenever we stop and sit with ourselves. Yes, we turn to our phones and our screens to avoid the mess.
Any form and device of distraction captures our interest in ‘real’ life; commitment to real life informs us how to make use of ‘screens’ without going lost in it.
It seems silly and it is ridiculous that we escape being connected, present and aware of ourselves and live by diving into distractions where ever and when ever we can find them. Being connected and present with myself is the best feeling ever but it also asks me to be more responsible and there have been many times in my life I simply have not wanted to be responsible.
Excellent point – how does this impact the teachers of students who spend their entire lectures or classes on their phone? It can be very off-putting and disrespectful, and this is not something we consider when we’re gaming, going online or on social media in the presence of another person – what impact is it having on them?
Hi Benkt. Yes, I am glad you mentioned the importance of being able to talk through what is going on for you, to connect to others and get support to constantly learn and grow. We are not meant to be doing life on our own, and so the breakdown in relationship due to screen fixation is a real concern.
I just love reading your engagement with what is really going on Benkt – be that the distraction that screen time offers, but also the true purpose of what your Uni course offers. It is these critical observations that are going to serve you well both with your studies and later in life. Commitment is increasingly rare and to be treasured absolutely.
There’s a part of life we have chosen to ignore – that does not get the screen time it deserves. Energy and awareness are a huge part of our everyday, but whilst we pretend this is not the case, we’ll continually react and get taken off course.
It’s a great question to ask not only the students but the conveyors – why is that the students are choosing distraction over what is on offer? Distraction was big for me because I did not know who I was and what I was truly capable of bringing to this world – my purpose was born (again) and less is it now that I am looking back or being distracted.
The question is why are we needing and seeking distraction? We’ve bought into living fast and doing multiple things at a time and as a result we actually effect so many others. It becomes about self and not about what we bring. Is it possible that we resist now more than ever the need to unite as 1 humanity because we know this is the very thing that brings us back to having purpose in life?
Yes, focusing on a phone screen certainly brings life to a narrow and limited artificial experience, very much a small picture rather than the big picture of everything we are a part of in life.
It is not just time that is consumed by us being focused on screens but our awareness, presence and thus ‘life’. On one hand the screen emanates light and with it also the quality of energy that is communicated by the content and on the other hand the screen seems to absorb us, pulling us into the world in a ‘box’ or actually a worldwide energetic realm of information, communication, pictures, emotions etc. It is real and surreal at the same time but becomes one in our experience, a second reality merged with the unplugged world. One needs to know himself to not lose oneself in the digital reality or you find yourself becoming something that is somehow real but not true at all.
Well said Alex, the dual effect of using phones seems obvious once explained like this but it’s not exactly something you’ll find in the instructions in the box. More awareness and conversation on this in society is needed.
Phones were a great invention that supported us to connect to others who were not in our immediate vicinity. Why and how have we allowed them to become a total distraction from connecting both to ourselves and others? They are no longer primarily used as a tool to connect but a tool to distract and block the connection within to the greater tool we have – our body – a relationship that leads to a deepening of our relationship with ourselves and humanity and offers us so much more than a moment spent in the surreal world of make believe.
If we allow the phones, iPads and computers to be the dominating factor in our life then we limit ourselves to our true connection the Universe and the multidimentionalty that we are.
Great question Benkt. If we are in front of a public crowd for a few minutes and feel the distraction present, it is very difficult to focus on what we are doing. But isn’t this also a great although raw reflection of how we are living life in general? And the more present and committee we are with ourselves and with Life, the more Life reflects their presence with us. I have learned this through the hard way but more honestly so, in a patient way with myself, always giving back love and understanding why it’s taking so long but it’s very worthwhile.
Has the handheld device become the candle and we, the moth? Only one lesson is learned here! Or, as you have said it becomes the rabbit hole we can follow Alice and leave all our responsibilities behind?
I can see that this is really a problem Benkt, in this case for schools and universities but also other area’s of our societies will suffer from this distraction seeking behaviour. To me it is not to blame the mobile phone, tablets, the internet or social media, It is us people that ar looking for distraction and from that the industries deliver to our demand.
It is interesting to read that we tend to not be honest about our distraction seeking behaviour. Instead, as you described Benkt, we blame the teacher and the school system that they do not make it interesting enough. To me there is something seriously ill in our societies and this mobile phone distraction is just the outer reflection to this.
How many students will understand what is being shared in this blog that as a student there is a responsibility to look at, the responsibility to learn and study the subject of your choice and intrest to the best of your capabilities with the purpose to serve humanity later with the knowledge and understanding of the trade you will be working in? To me that is revolutionary and will change the system from the inside out if the student will come to the universities with this attitude, asking for a system that will deliver them the best that is available.
If we are feeling bad shouldn’t we do something to help ourselves? Yet so often all we do is indulge in something for relief. This highlights so clearly how there’s a part of us that actively sabotages Love. Yet we all know it does not work. Thank you Benkt.
It is very much the sense of not being met that hurts and repels us, thus leading to withdrawing from people and seeking substitution in screens. Time to break the cycle of disconnection and lack of commitment and bring to life and people what we all seek and miss and life – being connected and intimate with people.
This portraits our tendency for escapism – wanting life to be different but not bringing to life what we want it to be, instead escaping or checking out from the tensions of life and then wondering that we don´t like life as it is. We create the life we live – let´s face it.
It’s certianly not the tool in this instance, but the way in which we use it.
Wow the reality of mobile phones and their distraction in the education system and every aspect of life can be really felt here with the lack of presence and attention to what is really going on and the learnings, connections and opportunities we are offered in life. Where will this go to and how can we learn to live in a way that honours who we all are and how can our education survive if we are not present and is there another way developing true responsibility presence and purpose.
Last night I noticed that throughout the evening I had not looked at or used any apps on my phone. It felt good, I had been focused and felt that there was clear purpose in what I had been doing and there was no reason that I needed to use any of the apps on my phone and yet I picked up my phone and checked social media apps. – clearly there is a pattern in why we use our phones the way we do and this is such an important conversation to have as phones and other tech is so common. We especially need to consider the effect that such things have on our children and the way of life that we develop for them.
It’s crazy that phones are permitted in classroom. My feeling is that the reason behind this is simply because the teachers don’t believe that they will be able to do anything about it, won’t be able to stop it, and are not prepared to deal with the hassle and reaction that a no-phone rule would cause. So is it in fact that kids that are lost, or the teachers and governing bodies of these schools. Leadership and inspiration needs leaders. I have upmost respect for teachers and they have perhaps the hardest job in the world and need all of our support. But why should the pupils take responsibility if the teachers aren’t. And it is undeniably irresponsible to allow mobile phones to be used during lessons. That said, and in support of the teachers and the mountains that they have to climb, it is ALSO the responsibility of the parents. If parents are sat at the dinner table on their phones, if parents are driving their car on their phones, if parents are emailing work whilst talking to their kids….then is it really a surprise that kids are using their phones in lessons???? We REALLY need to look at this more honestly rather than just blame the technology.
Indeed. In fact, people now sometimes use a hashtag on apps like instagram #nofilter – it is now more unusual for photos to NOT have filters on them, such is the way that we like to pour a little bit of ice cream onto everything – to sweeten it up and try to make everything look and taste better. As the food underneath the ice cream gets more and more putrid, we will need more and more ice cream to make it palatable.
I was helping with the filming of a short commercial for a company yesterday. The scenario was a woman giving a lecture and we, the audience, were to show our enthusiasm and interest in the information she was giving us. At the key moment, when she shared the main nugget of information, the director asked us all to take out our phones and pretend that we were taking pictures of her and the screen behind her. So it is now official – the mobile phone is an accepted and normalised expression of a human reaction?!
This is a rich and inspiring article with a lot of insight and wisdom in it that will support many of us. The demand for teaching to be more interesting is of note as our hyper stimulated brains no longer see simple human interaction, responsibility and learning together as enough. And then the awesome insight into the reasons why so many of us are using devices and other means to distract ourselves from life. Thank you, Benkt, for sharing with such honesty and clarity.
We use a connection tool to disconnect not only from people but ourselves too.
Yes, Benkt. Similar to what eventually happened with cigarette health warnings, I wonder if tablets and smartphones will one day be sold with a health warning for addiction to artificial stimulation.
‘Addiction to artificial stimulation’ and the loss of contact and love for life and all it offers.
“When we choose decency and respect in all our relationships we become aware of the effect our behaviours have on others, and that living in such a way develops true responsibility and true purpose.” . . . this is a sentence worth repeating over and over again. Well said Benkt!
It screams for attention but what does it give you for your attention?
Yes, how can we have true purpose, embracing life and our full potential, when we are living in a digital reality a large percentage of the time?
“the university environment does not support the development of our whole being.”
Benkt thank-you for your honest contribution to this snowballing issue;
Introducing an unchartered world of technological advancement with a race already plagued with lack of self awareness and its consequent irresponsibility, the current trajectory feels stark indeed.
The work of Universal Medicine is reversing this tide of loveless irresponsibility and supporting humanity to live true to who they are and consequently remain unswallowed by this world of distraction.
Beautifully said, Lucinda. Our lack of self-awareness and responsibility has created this downward spiral into distraction and escapism from life and true relationships.
I love this expression – “unswallowed by this world of distraction”. It’s super descriptive and paints a very real and inescapable image of humanity walking into a deep, dark belly of distraction, irresponsibility and lovelessness. And it is important to establish that it is us choosing to be swallowed. This is the gold given to us by Universal Medicine – the very clear inspiration that it is our choice, our responsibility and our commitment to choose our own path. Technology is not the enemy. It reminds me of a question I once heard someone ask. “Are guns dangerous?”. Everyone said yes…until he corrected us and said that guns are in fact 100% safe – put a loaded gun on the table and it will not shoot anyone – it is not guns that are dangerous, it is the people whose hands they are in. It’s the same with technology – our responsibility.
You give us a good image here of screens that scream! And scream they do! If my phone is sitting in my pocket I find myself checking it over and over. It’s like it sits there demanding attention. It’s something we all need to be aware of in order to break this addiction.
I agree Rebecca, it is very easy to get addicted to your mobile, but like all addictions it is harder to break the cycle.
Over the last few days what I have been really aware of, especially writing hand written notes from a course I am doing is … just how bad my writing and spelling is getting, its pretty shocking and one of the things I put this down to is typing everything and having predictive text.
No doubt our screens have become part of our everyday lives that can be very supportive and connective tools when used with awareness. Though like any other vice they can be equally addictive if we allow ourselves to get sucked into them.
Wow I wouldn’t have thought that sort of behaviour would be accepted in a class environment Benkt. That you felt invisible while attempting to connect and share with others is indicative of how removed we are becoming from one another replacing screens (false images) for the beauty and presence of the being in front of us and our relationships with each other.
And it is significant I reckon that Benkt is a fellow student, so there is not even the ‘excuse’ of the teacher/pupil divide; this is about all of us avoiding ‘the beauty and presence of’ each other and the relationships and connection on offer.
After reading this blog the other day I spent time with a young adult. I observed the inability to leave the phone alone when there was the slightest gap in conversation. When I asked about it they defended/denied it with excuses, which makes me think that once you are hooked, like any addition it is hard to see the impact for yourself. No one likes to think they are being controlled by an addiction, but this honesty has to be where we start.
I had a similar experience recently with a teen and how the ability to stay present and attentive to the group was near impossible. I mentioned this and the phone went down for a few minutes though the stimulation that the device was offering appeared more interesting than real people and connection that was in front of them. This impacts the quality of all our relationships.
There is nothing more disheartening then when I am talking to someone I care about and they are either on their phone or go on their phone – whilst it gives a sense of connection it can sometimes be the thing that cuts us off from connecting.
I agree Rebecca. There is so much on offer when we put everything down and make space to connect with each other without distractions that it hurts when someone else does not do this too. We feel it as a rejection of that which we are and the natural connection that we have between each other which is not honoured. Understanding why we make such choices allows us to hold each other in a loving space regardless of the choice to connect or not.
I agree Rebecca. There is a feeling of being completely dismissed when someone answers their phone or is simply using it, rather than staying connected to who they were having a real time conversation with.
Today I had quite an intense day and when I left work I noticed how racy I felt. As I was waiting at the bus stop for my son’s school bus to arrive I had a moment “to spare”. I reached for my phone and was madly scrambling through emails, facebook feeds and so on all while trying to keep an eye in the rear view mirror so I would see the bus coming. The phone allowed me to be met on the same level of raciness. Thank God I had the grace of a moment to catch myself and how stressful it was. So I put the phone down and chose to sit there for a moment.
Yes Nikki, I too have often filled the gaps in the day with social media, but it is now so beautiful to use those spaces to stop and connect for a moment to my body, checking in with myself before moving on to the next part of the day.
This is a huge gem of wisdom and insight into the perpetuation of raciness (a world condition) or not… and a point of inspiration for the choice we have in every moment.
Yes, Benkt, our levels of decency and respect are dropping dramatically as our addiction to screens rises.
Yes, we are relating much less and ignoring others is the new normal.
“Letting myself be free to express the difficulties I face in university and life in general” – beautiful Benkt, expressing and expression being the real degree to enjoy and celebrate in conjunction with everything else.
The influence of screens over us pervades all areas of our way of living. Clearly shown here in terms of education but also in relationships, friendships, communication between people in public p[laces etc. It is almost as if where ever there is deemed to b time it is a reason to get out a phone and engage with it instead of life. I do this too too often but notice the feeling I have of purpose when I do not do this at all for a few days, far more connected to myself, life and everyone else and feeling the call of what there is ahead of me in any moment.
We have had many ways to distract ourselves from connection over the years but mobile phones I feel have taken first prize. We now have instant checkout at our finger tips, once discover it a hard check-out to break.
‘We seem to be seeking this constant distraction and stimulation, but why?’ – Yes, we don’t want to face the reality of life, because if we did, we would not be able to deny the obvious responsibilty we all have for the mess humanity is in.
Relationships first, connection with people not screens, screens are a poor version of a relationship they give us the aura of being with others without us having to be responsible for actually being connected.
When i read your blog Benkt, it made me wonder how come devices were [are] permitted into classrooms, lecture halls where the focus is to learn [not to be distracted], and equally clearly reflective was the student’s response regarding the teacher’s lesson — seems that in the continuous rise and ‘advance’ of technology, common decency and respect is grossly on the decline, even knocked out. As a recruiter myself, I cannot imagine the type of employees, workers, leaders, this attitude will produce.
It must be hugely challenging to be a teacher/lecturer/presenter standing in front of an audience of people being sucked into their phones.
An Indian public school prohibits the use of mobile devices during school time: students are allowed one phone call a week to speak with families. This is how schools used to be pupils interacting with each other and teachers in real time.
Yes I agree it seems we have things backwards in our education systems where we are learning knowledge or skills but lack any purpose in life to use them rather than building and connecting with our purpose in life and then learning the skills that support that purpose.
Since reading this article I have been observing how many times a day I look to my phone screen and why I do it each time. And what has been interesting to observe is the many times I do so purely because I feel that there is nothing else to do, or I am tired and do not want to do anything more. The phone screen therefore has become a way of escape, and a moment to check-out of life and to not be responsible, to have a break. Which makes me wonder why, if I need a rest do I not just sit down and re-connect with my body again…? Why or how has eye stimulation become the place to go for respite? When the truth is that this is not restful at all but just further stimulating and in fact can add to my sense of overwhelm that I was trying to escape in the first place!
Yes, Benkt, what will happen to our relationships, work productivity and commitment to life if this alarming fixation with our screens continues?
This is an important point to raise, for us to be aware of and a conversation to continue. When not being present leads to health condition and diseases such as dementia we have generations of people who are cruising toward this in later life for many reasons but this surely will not help.
All of us have felt the hook of the screen, but how many of us are willing to do something about it? There is an air amongst us that arrogantly says – oh well, everyone else is doing it so why can’t I? We know we are addicted but we shy away from getting to the root cause of why we have that addiction in place.
In the past I remember frequently sitting in class or similar and not enjoying myself. Today I could use a screen and wouldn’t notice how I feel. Progress!?
We just don’t see that our behaviours effect one another, no matter how seemingly innocuous they may seem.
Virtual environments and screen based entertainment are popping up all over the place as we drift further away from connection with ourselves and others.
I have experienced on many occasions where I am having a conversation with someone and they get distracted by their phones. Most common example is when people receive a message on their phones and they stop and reach over in mid conversation to check their message. I can feel the distract and disconnection when this happens. From reading this blog, I realise how much I allow this distraction to take over and not express how unloving this feels. When I see people around me get distracted by their phones, I often allow it to happen and justify this behaviour as being OK because it is consider normal. I am inspired by your blog Benkt to express how I feel lovingly, and therefore, I can offer people space to reconnect and become aware of their behaviour.
Yes Chan, this happens a lot doesn’t it? It feels very dishonouring and disconnecting when someone looks at their phone during a conversation, never mind respond to it. I am guilty of both, so your comment has inspired me to not do that any more.
Yes it is interesting how being interrupted by a phone is widely accepted and tolerated as normal and yet if the conversation was interrupted by another person rather than a phone we would perhaps react differently?
Our screens are addictive by design, facebook by it’s creator’s intention was to use up our time to get advertisers to invest in their product – social media. To use them with full conscious presence and as a tool is vital if we are not to be sucked into the void.
‘In response and from reaction, the ball was thrown back to the teacher by blaming him… that he didn’t make learning interesting enough.’
When people are wanting distraction, unless you are of that quality they are after – titillating enough to warrant attention then you’ll not get that attention. I used to want to vie for attention but never asked myself that, in doing so, I traded a quality of being with myself that was very lovely, for attention that actually felt abusive – like I felt like it entered me and wasn’t respectful.
So this accusation that the teacher isn’t interesting enough when they are present and presenting information that is interesting in a relevant way, isn’t acknowledging the fact that pupils are wanting something very different to that which is on offer. You could make an analogy that the pupils are wanting high sugar content foods, if you like, when the teacher is offering more wholesome vegetables.
I know it’s a different situation but If I’m more clear about what attention I am chasing and how this affects me, I know I will think or feel twice before chasing such attention/recognition because the attention received doesn’t feel good.
Is it me noticing it more, or is it getting worse, that our attention is constantly to screen watch for an incoming call or message. I’m not sure how it is possible but some of my colleagues can text, walk and talk to me at the same time. For me the worst thing is seeing a couple or a family in a restaurant sitting together but everyone is engrossed having a one to one with their phone, there is no conversation with each other to me that is very sad.
It allows us to be numb, same as alcohol and we can consider that a benefit.
I think that mobile phones and the escape from reality they offer do make ‘normal’ life seem more boring or arduous. But the phones are just the means by which we access what we seek – distraction – and the fact that we seek distraction from the world and ourselves is the true problem we have to address. Both what is it about the world we want to distract from and what our part is in this.
I find what you say is key Lieke. Unless we face the question of “what is it about the world we want to distract from and what our part is in this” even if we do away with our use of our phones and screens, we will just substitute it with another way of distracting ourselves.
Why deal with real life when you’ve got virtual life giving you everything you want.
I have noticed in those moments when I am not fully present with myself, there is a fogginess, as if I am a boat without a rudder. At those times “the scream for attention” of the screen seems very loud – and to be honest anything else that can entice and entertain my brain and emotions will do just as well. In fact at times I find myself on the look-out and hunting for this type of distraction! A vicious cycle that only stops when a thought, a reminder or an incident brings me back to myself.
It shows that there is no way we can blame the screen itself. It is ourselves who actually put out the demand and then everything gets delivered.
What we are really screaming for is connection. The mobile offers instant gratification by taking us away from that painful fact and diverting us into a stream of words and images that fill and distract us enough to not feel it. The posture of using the phone is often a dead giveaway of the way we can let it consume us.
It’s not surprising to read that mobile phones are so dominant in a student’s life, and they see it as an every day or every moment normal thing they do. I’ve worked with people in their early 20’s who are on their phones all day, and there is no consideration that it may be unacceptable or disrespectful to their employer.
‘We seem to be seeking this constant distraction and stimulation, but why?’ I am really feeling the real addictive behaviour with devices, especially mobile phones, even with myself. The other day while on a train I could feel myself waiting for when it was out of underground so I could check my phone! And during the day the constant pull to always check it. It is a constant pull away from ourselves if we allow it.
This is a great question, Benkt, for all of us to deeply consider – “Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?” If through relationships we learn and grow in life, surely we are in danger of retarding ourselves by spending too much time fixated on our devices.
What a sad state of affairs it is when ‘life does not appear interesting’. Disappearing into our screens is a way of hiding from the world and other people. It’s a way of withdrawing. If we were to embrace life with all its challenges instead of hiding away and allowing ourselves to be distracted we might find life more engaging and interesting. If we don’t do this we will give up on life and live like a zombie.
What you describe here Benkt, will become a real problem in society. While maybe still only experienced in the class rooms this habit of looking for distraction from the real world and instead going for that virtual reality, will at last have an tremendous effect on the society we live in. imagine If we would be like that at work, looking for distraction by the internet, games, and social media. How will that affect the way we work and the quality of services or products we produce?
What I can sense is that in this distraction we seek relief for the tension we feel is coming from our societies to be in a way we are not. But what we have to remember in this distraction that it is not the answer, it is just anther face that is presented by the same society we try the escape from.
”The more that we are living in a virtual world the less connected we are to real people and real life situations. This will have a very detrimental affect on our society because if we have a generation of people who do not know how to communicate with each other then this has huge implications for industry, business, politics, health and many other vital industries. We need to take our heads out of the screens and learn to relate with each other.
Whether it is a screen or a machine, humanity seems to be steering more and more towards a world where we are using technology instead of true interactions. The move towards more and more self made checkouts in the super markets for me is something I am still adjusting to as I far prefer to connect with one of the staff when I pay than use a machine even if the machine is quicker.
In my days at school it used to be day-dreaming that was the main distraction and the teachers I am sure could feel the same energy. So what does day-dreaming and a screen have in common? Could it be that we are looking for an image that will-full-fill our otherwise empty life? Therefore images are a distraction in so many ways. When you share Benkt; “When we choose decency and respect in all our relationships we become aware of the effect our behaviours have on others, and that living in such a way develops true responsibility and true purpose.” This brings us to a place where the images are no longer needed as a distraction for we feel within-our-self the essence of who we all are. Thus our purpose becomes one of learning to serve humanity and the distraction become so obvious we turn of the screens.
I work in a university and am seeing the addiction to screens playing out with everyone. I hear from tutors how students are constantly on their phones in the classes but I also observe that many academics have the same problem with their laptops. One of their peers may be presenting and less than half are actually paying attention. Checking out on screens is a big problem and is making an environment where true connection was already difficult almost impossible.
I wonder why students are allowed to get away with this behaviour in class. Where is the leadership from the university as allowing students to be on their phones in class is so disrespectful. There seems to be a lack of decency and respect for the teachers employed to teach them when there are no rules in place. What is the purpose for the student to be there if not to learn, and to get a qualification to serve in life. What a strange world we are living in!!
Absolutely Anne, if I was a teacher I would be furious at the lack of respect shown and would totally ban the use of phones in the classroom.
Awesome you share this Anne and Kev. My feeling is at university the students are adults and it is up to each student how much they are willing to pay attention and connect to the teacher and to the lesson on offer. To ban the use of phones in class could possibly support more connection in class. But my question is, could this be a band aid solution? I feel we need to understand why students are seeking these distractions. What is going on in their lives, what is gong on in class, how is the teacher holding the class and what is the standard and quality they reflect? I feel the issue is multi layered and the distraction is a symptom.
Yes we need to build back to baseline levels of respect and decency in all our interactions and behaviour. I do not feel we can be surprised by what Benkt has shared as it is simply the play out of the lack of respect, care and decency we have allowed to perpetuate and accumulate.
When we vacate ourselves, we will use pretty much anything to fill the gap that has been left behind and phones are the perfect portable gap filler. They could actually be marketed as that ‘ the perfect take anywhere companion to fill even the briefest nanosecond of your life, so that you don’t t have to feel the emptiness of not being you’.
If things were marketed honestly as you say here Alexis, then we would be making much more clearer choices. ‘I am using my phone like this because I don’t want to feel the emptiness as a result of not being me’ or ‘I would prefer to check out than be in the world in full’. We see our behaviours in full when we are honest and by calling them out we give ourselves the option to see more.
I totally agree that everything has become so heightened and overly stimulated that the normal things to life like connection and engagement seems boring for most. The gadgets, movies, magazines, games, tv are all so highly manipulated to an extent that reality is not enough anymore. My feeling is if we keep continuing in such a way it is not going to end very pretty. Statistics are starting to show signs of problems that have come from such over use and stimulation.
“Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?” Yes this is by and large true in many many cases, but also WE are screaming out for the distraction away from life and engaging in it, and the phone is providing the way out.
I am totally guilty of putting my phone as the centre of a situation, rather than spending time with the people i am with or even just being with myself. The other day I was walking home in the very early morning. The sun has not risen and the birds where singing, there was the soft patter of light rain and for half an hour I just sat and listened to the birds and the rain and the quiet of the dawn, no phone or computer and it was beautiful. We can miss so many of these moments of quite observation when we are in the constant motion of technology.
“it is a waste of time to not be present” – This is very true Benkt, when there is so much to learn from every interaction and moment!
Thank you for sharing your experience of doing your presentation and feeling how your fellow students were not present because they were all staring at their screens. Surely they will all have had to do a presentation at some point and had this same experience? Is it because they do not want to look at their own habits and take responsibility for their own behaviour that they put up with this highly disrespectful way of behaving from others?
I’d like to think this is just a faze we are going though and will quickly wake up to the damage it is causing our relationships, our ability to learn and our overall health, either that or with all the virtual reality stuff and gaming coming out we will sink further into it to worse consequences.
And what will come of our world as this generation grows , becomes the leaders, workers, managers, teachers, doctors and so on of tomorrow? We will soon see if it is a phase and what the consequences may be.
Benkt, I find this true for me too: ‘I have found myself feeling quite surprised by the amount of time that mobile phones consume my – and many other of my peers’ – days.’ What I observe is that instead of moments of rest and reflection that mobile phones can consume this precious time. I have also noticed that mobile phones are becoming more commonplace in restaurants and even in bed. Time that may have been intimate time seems to be easily taken over by time looking at mobile phones.
Rebecca thank you ’ What I observe is that instead of moments of rest and reflection that mobile phones can consume this precious time” I’ve noticed the same and at times ask myself, ‘should i be checking my mobile phone or checking in with me?’
Thank you Benkt, your observations of distraction and the misuse of technology today reminded me of Esoteric Yoga. This modality is truly a modality for our current times as it can support people to reconnect to their bodies and to live in harmony with their whole being. This can help address the need for constant distraction and raciness by introducing a true stop moment and way to live settled into one’s body, instead of trying to live on mental energy.
“Even though I was standing in front of the class for only a couple of minutes, I felt a feeling of uselessness as I stood there, speaking to a group of people who were engaged and distracted in their devices. While the teachers are confronted by this every single day” – Benkt a fascinating insight and I recall too delivering a lecture hall presentation on careers for MBA students and a few of the students being occupied on their screens, and the odd one chatting with their peers. Were they listening, discussing what was being said, or being distracted by their screens, not focussed or on point to the present capture, and switched off? Whilst being educated it seems we are so zoned out these days that even when something is so clear or obvious and stood there right in front of us, we still choose to remain blind and deaf to that which can truly offer support.
Phones have become umbilical cords that we appear not able to live without them! Have they become IVs that we are tethered to that drip feed us every waking moment? We no longer have to know anything! We now have access instantly to all knowledge about everything. How often have we seen people texting while driving, walking and even riding bicycles, that is a statistic looking for a place to happen. The world and the people in it are amazing. It is time to be reborn and severe the umbilical we have created to all that is not us. How did we survive without them 20 years ago when we had to talk to people face to face?
I heard recently the extremes university students are going to because of the pressures to get top marks. Students are pretending they have ADHD so they are given extra time during exams… they are then selling the drugs they are prescribed for ADHD to other students so they can relax. This is just one such way being used, there would be many many more. There is something very askew with our education system if young people are going to these lengths and putting their health and wellbeing at risk to ‘succeed’.
There is no coincidence that are connection to devices is causing a disconnection to our relationships.
At a recent talk by my son’s headmaster at his secondary school, the principal shared that the kids are so adept at using their phones in class that they can message under their desks without looking at their screens. It feels to me that their phones have become almost a living extension of their bodies.
Great article Benkt and I feel that for many kids the hit that they get off their screens is similar in a way to a snort of cocaine, a very short lived high that begs the user to immediately do it again.
The ironic thing is, we are the generation that have invented all these gadgets and have failed to comprehend the real impact they would have on young minds. It is vitality important to recognize what is happening to our younger generation as a consequence, so that it might guide our future creations. We seem all too eager to develop these things without really thinking through the bigger picture.
Reducing life to a screen allows us to avoid being aware of all that is going on around us in life. It is a way to ‘bury your head in the sand’ and not participate in life. This is currently a global epidemic and something that showcases the ill way that humanity is currently living.
MW thats a great point, if we discount from life we can justify anything and in many ways avoid us really seeing the state of the world and the need for change.
The lack of respect for our fellow human beings is shocking but in some ways not as seeing other people constantly engrossed in their screens has become ‘normal’. This disconnection from life is deeply concerning as the majority of a generation are missing out on acquiring crucial life skills and building up problems for the future. Whilst older generations may be equally engrossed now at least they have had the benefit of a device free younger life.
It can be hard to navigate life with a warped compass. If screens have become our reality, then what is actually real gets skewed.
I think you hit the nail on the head Elizabeth, I often see teenagers who feel trapped in school, bored, unhappy, depressed, exhausted, disconnected. They know there is a problem but have nowhere to go as really there is no alternative.
‘Students are not listening’ and blame the teacher, the teacher blames the students and so all parties complain about each other but no-one actually gets to the root of it. There is much said, written and researched about people relationship with screens. But no-one has dared to go to the root cause. What came first….the disconnection or the screens?
The desperate need to disconnect has been around for ages, the screen just happens to be a handy modern tool to do so. True Carolien, we need to get to the ‘why’ before the blame.
So true Carolien, before screens it was day dreaming, so disconnecting has a new companion and the images that we are distracted by just seem more reel on a screen but the reality is what we are looking for is our true essence, the Esoteric.
When we start by being honest about the simple fact that “We seem to be seeking this constant distraction and stimulation” then it opens us up to look at why as you say, that why is crucial in life as it allows us to start to look at the hurts that drive us to all the screen seeking attention we have, Be it small hurts, big hurts – whatever it may be.
On the one hand we can have the understanding that the world is an intense place which distraction can be a welcome relief from. However all we are seeking is connection – social media gives the illusion of connection and yet being on our devices is actually magnifying the exact opposite and driving us even deeper into the distractions as we feel even more isolated. To the point where eleven when true connection is being offered we just can’t take it – it’s too confronting.
It certainly is a waste of time to not be present and this affects us in more ways than we think. It can be a spiralling effect when we choose to not be present. Once we disconnect from our body there is then an opening for further disconnection and as a result leads to seeking the many form of distraction available to us to not feel our choice to disconnect in the first place.
‘All present and correct’ I don’t know what that is from but is it the army – dunno but it just came to me that roll call is an opportunity to engage and make your intention to be present at a lesson. I cannot even imagine how it would feel to teach to university students all looking at screens it would be so defeating then again maybe being lectured at is no longer the way forward either. But being present is the decent way to conduct yourself, it is respectful not only to the lecturer but to yourself and fellow students.
I love it that you ask yourself the question, WHY so many people are on their screens? It is like you can’t go or be somewhere or people keep watching their screen, whether it is in the train or in a restaurant. We think it is the ‘kids’ that start it, but adults gave and give the example, because most of them don’t know how to connect with themselves and others anymore.
Yes and it is the adults that give the children the screens in the first place.
Great observations Benkt, and one that could not be more poignant during these times of screen addiction. It was actually a bit of a wake up call for myself, as well, as I realised after reading this blog how I justify certain uses of my phone for work or research, when it really is not needed. But in relation to your classmates inability to even drop their phones for a few minutes during a presentation, this for one shows how when we are checked out on phones we allow an energy through us that then manifests in things like the complete lack of respect and decency they showed you and your teachers by continuing to use their phones during the presentation. It’s really alarming, and I can’t even imagine what kind of work people will be doing after they graduate if they weren’t even present for the majority of their classes in University. The prognosis is certainly not a good one here.
What strikes me about reading this is – what are we sacrificing when we prioritise our screens over real life that’s happening right in front of our eyes and all around us? While one could argue that getting lost in a screen is no different to getting lost in a book or newspaper, the fact is that our phones are with us, in our pockets or our bags, pretty much 100% of the time unless we’re in the bath, sea or pool, and even then they’re not far away. They are incredible tools of communication and information, and it’s our responsibility to learn how to use them for a true purpose, and not to lose ourselves in the constant distraction that they offer.
Thank you Benkt, it is very enlightening to know how it is for young people today. I see it all the time at my workplace and in life where people cannot be without their devices. Our devices are our vice to keep us from feeling how much life hurts because life does hurt when it is not filled with love.
We need to really take stock of this and when it comes to decency and respect unpack and workshop what the meaning of these words are to us and what is getting in the way of us living this with ourselves and everyone. There is much work to be done here.
This reminds me of a short one act opera by Menotti called the Trlephone. A young man is trying to find a space to propose marriage to his girlfriend but the phone always rings and she chooses to answer it and he is thwarted again. Eventually he goes out to the phone box, (there were no mobile phones then) and phones her up, proposes and is accepted. This lighthearted piece carried within it the seed of what is happening today with social media. Is it that students have to have their tutor on a screen to make what he is saying of interest? The more the attitude is pandered to the more prevalent and accepted as normal it will become, and the responsibility of the learners is not brought to account.
Do we take responsibility and connect to what it is we’re actually there to do in the different environments we visit throughout our day, eg school, work, the shops, home?
Benkt, this article is really interesting to read. What a waste of being at university to be checked out on a screen and not learning what is needed. It surprises that me that mobile phones are allowed during lectures. I know at most schools that they are not allowed during class time, only at break times.
I was surprised too, Rebecca. It would make sense to not have mobile phones on and it should be compulsory to turn them off when in a lecture. In school, as teachers, we are not allowed our mobile phones on as it is a breach of safe guarding and I know most schools ban phones in class from pupils.
I think this rule only applies to primary and high schools. Whereas in universities I guess students are allowed to choose how they utilise their class time because they are recognised as being more responsible.
This is the type of discussion that needs to accompany University Degrees. We have a focus on academia without looking at the self care that is needed to support ourselves. Screens and machines are becoming all too common as a very poor substitute for connection.
You write with such passion and understanding Benkt, it is so true this situation has become out of control and teachers around the world are finding it harder to teach because concentration spans are limited. Distraction and stimulation has been sold to us on a massive level and as a society we have allowed it … and now reaping the consequences.
It makes no sense to sign up for a course and then only give it half of your attention. Studies have shown that when we sit up and pay attention, we are livelier in ourselves. Whereas with the opposite slumped in our seat only half listening makes us tired and uninterested.
It definitely needs to be looked at from both sides. There is always the question: what was first- the unmotivated teacher and then the distracted students or the other way around. Fact is, the distraction devices are going through the roof in today’s world. Which means, there is a demand from humanity to not feel, but get entertained and staying in the bubble of comfort. I would ask another question then: would a motivated teacher teaching the truth about what is going in this world be listened to ? And could he make a difference in calling out the chaos and root causes?
Thanks, Benkt. I could talk about this subject all day, because I feel it is one of the most concerning current behaviours in young people, and we have no idea yet of the long-term affects of excessive screen time on our brains, our ability to cope with real life and develop meaningful relationships in the flesh.
I agree Janet and this is our future … our younger generation!!!!
Thanks Richard, I LOVE the standing up to sing a song motivation to turn phones off…genius! My worst mobile phone in groupwork story is that with a therapy group of 14 year old boys one boy was showing another an online clip of someone being beheaded, which needless to say caused a huge reaction and disrupted the whole group! Not only is it of concern that the younger generations are constantly on their phones, but also the disturbing content that they are viewing.
The beauty and connection of communicating with others on a face to face everyday interaction cannot be denied and the emptiness and distractions of purely device based connection cannot match up to this however much we can think it does. There is a richness and magical flow with one another to appreciate in the simplicity and the more i grow older in life the more this appreciation grows also.
It is that constant distraction from a focus with us and with what we are doing in the present moment. It has the effect, that we are never in a true absoluteness. May it be being in total stillness with our body whilst doing nothing or any physical activity.
We all seek connection in truth. A way of being constantly “online” or chatting with people, reading other people’s posts etc. is the reduced and bastardised way of being truly connected with each other. It also provides security, as you can control how much intimacy you allow or better said, is expressed from a distance. It isolates us at the same time it sells us connection.
The use and distraction of screens is becoming more and more and life without them unknown as we move into the future so where is presence attentiveness and participating fully in what is going on around us that we are part of and contribute to with true communication , connection and integrity. A great sharing on the reality of classroom and university environments and the future education system and job responsibility that we need to reassess and find our way in.
It may sound old-school of me, but even before we consider the wider effects of what these screens might be doing, can I just ask a simpler question. What on earth has happened to basic decency, manners and respect? It is incredibly rude, it is totally disrespectful and it shows an abject lack of basic discipline that should not be tolerated.
That is a great added point Otto. It is not just about mobiles and screens themselves, but the relationship with life and one another. We need to reflect on all of it, and can’t just point the finger at those using the gadgets – what are we all turning a bling eye to and increasingly accepting as a normal.
Mobile phones are so addictive. Even though I know this I still find myself being drawn back to my phone again and again. I find myself wanting to not miss out on the latest piece of news, the latest message from a friend, an email or something entertaining. But this is totally from my head. If I drop the phone and simply stay present with my body there is no reason to want to be distracted or pulled out. Everything we need or need to know is right there.
When we are offered the moment to not turn to our phone but take that decision to breathe and just stay in the moment, we are offered a far greater level of ease in our body that we are no longer craving to be part of the raciness of life but the steadiness that is offered to hold us in our day.
You hit the nail on the head there Benkt, it is a total waste of time not being present and the truth is out, being checked out, escaping reality and not being present is what causes us to slip into Alzheimer’s or dementia so best this trend gets turned around before the rise in these diseases gets totally out of control.
So great to have these observations from the coal-face of life. Thank you Benkt. This kind of stuff is just being ignored, considered normal, brushed away, allowed to happen. But if you break it down to the absolute simplicity – students aren’t listening – and really consider where this leads us….then it’s pretty startling. Everywhere I look I see time bombs, ticking, ever louder and faster. We have much work to do.
It’s great that your work instils this rule. Bravo to them. And bravo to all the employees who can then connect to customers and show the power and joy of those relationships – not matter how fleeting they might be. I’ve recently really noticed how much it actually hurts when someone is not present in a conversation with me and thus also vice versa – we are constantly rejecting each other which just encourages us to remain in our fortresses. So this move by your employer and the subsequent moves by the workers is really powerful and much needed to reverse the trend.
I flunked my exams; not because of screens (they weren’t around then) but because I simply didn’t put the required work in. I still remember that sinking feeling when I sat in the exams, realising that the ship had sailed and I wasn’t on it. Now of course there is a much wider conversation here about exams, education, the validity and necessity of these qualifications and the extreme and unnatural pressures that they put us under, and even without these grades I have managed to forge a professional career. So all of this has to be taken in context….but, when reading your blog, I couldn’t help but feel that we are all racing towards a similar moment – but ‘en masse’, whereby there are going to be whole rafts of society that have checked out so massively, that they simply don’t have the required life skills.
Beautiful and inspiring Otto as where you are today shows that flunking your exams does not stop you from living an amazing life.
I observe all the times I choose distraction it is a moment to not want to feel all that I do feel and have the responsibility to express. I still express but take a few moments to delay. But in this I give understanding to myself and thus of others. True, I choose daily many choices that do not reflect obedience to the divine movement felt from my particles, and I choose to be honest about that, knowing any one person I see who seeks distraction means I have more work to do.
We live in such a fast paced society that it is an expectation that things are happening immediately. This is a big pressure on us all if we play that game – and I am certainly guilty of having a few fingers in this pie, though in other areas I am good at being patient and working towards things as needed.
I know I often seek my computer or my phone and I can sometimes feel a little ‘lost’ without them – at these times it makes me realise how dependent we are on these devices. But at the same time it also makes me check in if this seeking of the device is due to a true need or a false need. A great thing to keep working on, as the screen addiction can in my opinion, be just as strong and damaging as chocolate addictions or other addictions!
We really have an opportunity here to realise that the tools we have in our society (be it phones, screens, money etc) are simply tools. But the issues arise from how we use them, or if we abuse them or if we use them for a purpose that is unified in supporting us all.
There is an expectation now that a response to a text or an email will be immediate and I think we feel the anxiety of that and the need to always instantly respond which more often than not is not the case.
Absolutely Fiona and Gill. A circulating whirlwind of reaction and tension.
There is no substitute for being fully present, awake and attentive in life, no gadget or screen can really compete. However, it seems like all things that humanity chooses to learn the hard way. What an immense joy and magic we are missing out on when we replace real human interaction with remote communication.
I agree Rowena, we all know that lovely warm feeling we have when we say goodbye to friends and family after a day of being together, sharing laughs and open honest conversation. I even find that the day after a day like that can be super fulfilling, it is like my batteries have been recharged through the connection.
I have found that there is an inner tension that builds up when I am not presnet with myself and dont have a relationship or connection with myself that I try to relieve with checking out on my phone or computer but it only dampens the feeling without actually resolving the tension and so it gets more intense and the check out time has to get longer. The only real way to truly heal that tension and desire to check out is actually to check in, to really check in and keep checking in until the anxiety and tension begins to disapate.
This is so worrying ‘Recently I heard one really honest educator voice that he didn’t know how to get our attention, to get us focussed and in tune with the teachings anymore.’ I do workshops with young people in schools and can also see how many’s attention span is really short. Although this felt uncomfortable for you to feel when giving your presentation at least you have more awareness with this now.
“What is more interesting than that is, as university students we seemed to be ignoring the material and teachings that will provide us with the very necessary professional skills that are required to be competent in the profession.”
Struck me like a ton of bricks that screens, and what lies behind them, are the perfect distraction from what we are truly here to do which is bringing us all to everything we do, and to truly serve humanity with our unique qualities and expression. It gives us the ‘perfect’ excuse to hide and bury ourselves. But the question is…what are we truly burying ourselves in?
As you say in your example, is it not better to be burying ourselves in “the ability to ask critical questions about safety so that we could eventually be in service to humanity” or to look at cat memes? It is always our choice.
Benkt, this is a great question; ‘Is it possible that our devices and screens are artificially stimulating us to the point that being in life, engaging with people and listening to a presentation seems ‘not interesting’?’ I can feel this happening a lot. I observe it with children, its seems that screens are so stimulating that real life can seem less appealing and that time simply being and playing can be overtaken by this kind of easy entertainment.
What really strikes me about your observations Benkt is the engagement in the classroom will likely be the engagement taken into the job, career or service that would be provided. When we don’t want to know our responsibility, or be honest about the troubles we live with, or the hurts we hold we will look for distraction, yet with the engagement and commitment you know well, learning your skill becomes a very real way to contribute to society.
Seeing kids and screens its like whatever is going on around us they can zone straight into the screen, this . is regardless of the kid’s age or our age, I notice how important it is for me to not get ‘hooked’ on a screen.
I agree David, if there is any attachment to a screen then we have some healing to do for it is not natural to be needing to look at a screen more than what is necessary and we know that. I have this habit of wanting to check my phone more often than not. You could say that there is nothing wrong with this but I know there are moments when I do it to check out. What is becoming apparent is that I am getting to know the difference between those movements that are made in comfort and those that come from purpose and while I may sometimes react to another that chooses to occupy themselves using their phone it is no different to me needing to check my phone to distract myself from commitment in that moment.
Wow – I had no idea people could sit at University lectures and be on mobiles etc. Another way to simply checkout with numbing distractions and not live with presence with everything we do.
“We are all amazing people learning the skills that we need to work in our chosen profession, and to truly connect with humanity, it is a waste of time to not be present”.
So what does the ‘screen’ offer that we don’t feel in ourselves and life doesn’t have in abundance? Usually it doesn’t offer love, connection to ourselves, others or God. It can offer recognition, distraction and a filling of the void that is felt inside, but that is like repairing your flat tire and don’t clear the glass that caused it.
“It is a waste of time to not be present” – when I read this it felt like the core of my body just got pulled down into the ground with such grave sadness because I can feel how much time has been wasted and is continuing to be wasted by us not being here. What are we reflecting to each other to find ourselves at this point? I really cannot bear.
If you look out at life, the movement of it is quite slow – nothing flashes before your eyes and one frame doesn’t move to the next in rapid succession – this is what we often get on screens. When we become used to that, life can seem slow and boring. But what is true?
Any problem in this world is indicating that there is something about life we live at the moment that is not fulfilling. Even though being distracted with a screen during class is not true, maybe it is indicating that the class that is taught comes with an energy that is not nice to feel and hence the checking out. To be able to truly resolve this we have to completely change our way of living together as a society and make it about the aspects we often miss, like love, tenderness, connection and so on.
Working in a restaurant it’s become normal that a couple on a date will stare at their screens rather than talk to each other, normal for the management to be using social media in the middle of service. I find it a great way to avoid what I am feeling yet at a cost of feeling disinterested and anxious once off the screen. When I stop to feel what I am feeling I don’t feel that anxiousness that I had before.
You are spot on Benkt – I find phone screens particularly distracting and addictive – in fact – they are designed that way. It’s a case of demand and supply- we have collectively asked to be numbed and distracted from our true purpose.
” to see the distractions I seek, while also coming to terms with my own knowing of purpose. ”
This is very important working on purpose supports the lack of distraction.
I totally agree that “Screens are the distraction from our responsibility to serve humanity…”, starting with our responsibility to ourselves and those close to us. In a long queue at the airport recently I had plenty of time to observe my fellow travelers and nearly every one was gazing into a screen. But what shocked me the most was the number of very young children sitting in their buggies who were totally absorbed by what was happening on the device in their very little hands. As for me, I simply continued my observations of a snippet of life in today’s world.
I have noticed that staring at a screen has given everyone an opportunity to never feel uncomfortable in a social situation or a moment alone with oneself! When in doubt stare at a screen. You always look busy and important then.
Having mobile phones and laptops on during a presentation or a lecture is just irresponsible and must be difficult for the teacher to compete with that.
We even have devices these days that make holograms and virtual reality a reality! Talk about more and more escaping and less and less presence and true quality. Well done Benkt for coming to terms with this and realising this within yourself. You are a true role model for all youth.
It is so great, Benkt, that a young person like yourself has brought this up as it is a big concern. But even though your generation are certainly reliant on phones, tablets etc, you were not brought up on screens from an early age, so the real proof of the harm will be seen by the generation growing up now, who have been ‘parented’ by iPads etc and may actually be socially and emotionally retarded by this.
A very needed topic we need to be aware of wherever we are. We are so used to having everything at hand with our mobile phones, which is very useful, but as you describe, it is also a great distraction, and while it is a tool to connect us all we very much use it for disconnection.
“When we choose decency and respect in all our relationships we become aware of the effect our behaviours have on others, and that living in such a way develops true responsibility and true purpose” – It’s true Benkt. We don’t have to actually say, ‘I’m now going to take more responsibility’, but by being more respectful of ourselves and of others then we begin to see how our choices have a ripple effect, and that we can determine the quality that the other person will receive from us through how we live.
Brilliant Benkt. This issue is at epidemic proportions in the sphere in which I live. But let’s be honest – we moan about it to friends but there’s something about what the phone gives us that we are super addicted to. That escape from what we sense and feel – and the truth is this escape is nothing new. Today just makes our choice more stark – do we want to live or just exist like a zombie?
It appears to me to be a vicious cycle here of not being able to cope or deal with real life that is clearly a growing problem in young people and adults whereby they are introduced to screens at a young age (and the material on screens is becoming more and more enhanced and unrealistic) so that they become dependent on them and unable to deal with real life which then makes life more difficult to deal with and so they retreat to their screens even more.
How disappointing to be giving a presentation to a class of students and find none of them present or interested. It is a sad day when we realise that mobile phones are assumed to be more interesting than a fellow class mate. We can all take a lesson from this and take a look at our own behaviour with our phones and how much we choose to check out. We could be missing out on so much that is right in front of us.
There is certainly a demand for the mobile phone and this is increasingly growing but if it were not the mobile phone it would be something else we would be using to distract ourselves so what I am saying here is that it is not the mobile phone to be blamed. There is nothing wrong with the usage of a phone; it is like anything else, a problem when we indulge or become addicted to it.
Although I must say that education is not a welcoming and embracing environment, so distracting ourselves and wanted to not be there is something that shouldn’t come as a surprise.
Yes but then we’re all in the same kettle calling the pot black. Perhaps it is only our demand that is being fed. If we want a different way do we sit back and check out from it all, or step up and take responsibility and call for something more.
Take me back to simpler times before all this screen madness happened, I was working the other day with this young guy and we had absolutely no connection because every chance he got his face was glued to his phone. I wonder if in the future we will look back at our lives and realise that life went by while we were answering a text or playing a game.
Take me back too kev mchardy! It really hurts when the person we’re with is choosing a virtual world over the beautiful being that is right in front of them.
How great to have this compulsion of screen time exposed by students themselves. For those of us who are in our 40’s and older, not growing up with the internet and any mobile device was normal, so its easy for us to see how distracted the current young generation are. Whilst immersed in something, it can be harder to admit or see where the problem lies. As screen time is considered so normal is it possible that the younger generation don’t want to see the enormous negative impact it is having on their lives, their learning and their relationships.
It really makes me wonder how these generations who are now growing up with screen time from very young – how are they going to manage to run society if so withdrawn?
It seems that addiction to screens is a growing problem that is preventing people connecting with each other through eye contact.
Mary I feel that your mention of eye contact is an important one. What’s interesting for me is that it took me thirty years to realise that I didn’t look into people’s eyes when I spoke to them, not even my partners! Looking back now I can hardly believe that I didn’t but it’s true, so resistant was I to having any kind of intimacy with others, because I was an absolute stranger to myself. Now that I have got to know myself really well, I love looking and being held in the eyes of others, I know who I am and have nothing to hide, even the so called ‘ugly bits’.
Thank you for raising this point Benkt, as the distraction by mobile phones is a problem, which is not only faced on the university but to in society as a whole. Sometimes I got the idea that I am alien when being in a place where almost everybody is distracted by their mobile phones. But in truth it is the other way round, the people that are distracted made themselves alien to the reality of the world we have created together and because of this retraction it is not that nice a place to be in.
It is an addiction. I have a phone myself addicted to picking up my phone and looking at the screen even when I don’t need to.
It is not natural to live in the virtual reality the mobile phone is bringing to us, but it seams that it is so attractive because of many people already from young are using devices like mobile phones, computers, game stations and TV to distract themselves away from the reality of life. But now it becomes confusing because the reality of life is nowadays too that many people are looking for distraction by their devices. How can we unravel that conundrum?
Thank you Benkt, this is exactly what I see going on for myself at times and my teenage sons. Nothing compares to the stimulation of being able to click on any app and check anything in an instant. There is no delay, no waiting, no using our own wisdom to feel what it could be, we just google instead. I love how you brought it back to reality and the bigger picture, “When we choose decency and respect in all our relationships we become aware of the effect our behaviours have on others, and that living in such a way develops true responsibility and true purpose.” This always helps me to come back to what is important.
Benkt thank you so much for sharing your experience with screens at university. I am wondering if people are able to be “screen free” as my observation is that mostly everybody are staring on their mobile or other screens even when they are walking. I agree that this is a distraction from being present and I am wondering why is it so? How could it be that this is more important than meeting people in real life? Humanity seems to be a bit out of order for me.
Wow Benkt what you’ve shared is huge. Teachers are facing a very tough job in teaching as more and more children are addicted to their phones and screens. I also hear parents shared how difficult it is to get their children motivated to do simple tasks at home. Our culture of ‘checking out’ on phones or screens etc. is having a huge effect on children’s development, social skills, learning abilities and their willingness to connect to people and to what they are doing.
As a teacher in high schools, it is difficult as it is to engage and motivate students…so much so that now everything has to be whittled down into “digestible chunks” for them. Sustainable “chunking” would perhaps serve better, especially at the University level, truly nourishing presentations that do indeed serve humanity via whatever foundational learning the profession requires. Yet a return to pen and paper would also serve….taking notes or simply truly listening, having device free environments when in a lecture or presentation. The time taken to transfer notes to laptops later is a great study habit.
But it’s ridiculous that those in universities aren’t responsible enough to feel this, to keep expecting and allowing the technology to interfere is a huge potential problem for humanity if we don’t claim the responsibility for our own learning back.
Something else that is not fully realised yet is how much screens and what we choose to participate in with what we watch or play on them affects how we feel. They directly affect our emotional behavior, often leaving us feeling down, depressed, wired, angry, frustrated and a bevy of other overwhelming emotions. The real tragedy is that we walk through life believing this is our normal, when it is something that we take on from screens and our daily life, however it is not who we are, but a choice to be how we respond to life, influenced and constantly impacted by that seemingly harmless screen.
What is innately sad is that each moment in our lives, we are learning, being offered a moment to expand, wether we are sitting at a university lecture or having a cuppa with friends. So how much do we miss when we are focused on a screen?
‘Screens are the distraction from our responsibility to serve humanity’ I love the simple truth of this. Today I was reflecting how I use my phone as a distraction from feeling what I can bring to my work life and how I am falling short because I’ve not been looking after myself so was feeling off. I wanted an email to reply to or message to read as a ‘legitimate’ distraction from work. Rather than this, if I need to take a pause and reflect for a few moments and then return to what I am doing with greater clarity this is great. This requires a willingness to feel and be honest with what’s at hand and choosing to not run away which is what distractions are. So here’s to being fully present in my day and feeling whatever is there to be felt. If that means a little break away from what I’m reading to reflect, then that’s ok.
Distracting myself only takes me further away from being present and this builds up during the day so I seek even more distraction in the evenings, usually through watching TV and the cycle begins again the next day feeling less than amazing.
Our dependency on technology is ever growing and the full impact is yet to be felt in society. I know for myself the rabbit hole my phone or laptop can be, sucking me out of reality and into a mindless state for a few seconds to a few hours.
What is actually missed in this behavior is the absolute rudeness that it is. For this to now be the reality that it is, there has been a steady decline in the level of respect that we are supported to live with and by.
I think we can all relate to this one – the grab and pull of the screens that disengage us from the task at hand and life in general. Could it be that as humans we do not want to admit the mess that we are in and thus the steps that are needed to walk us all back out of it. Great sharing Benkt, thank you.
A good expose, Benkt. I too see this all the time everywhere. A taxi driver once told me that the scariest thing he had to deal with in his driving was pedestrians engrossed on their mobile phones. I see young couples out on dates, sitting next to each other, texting each other instead of eye contact or talking! I see disappointed kids rolling their eyes because they want to connect with their parents who are both buried in their mobiles. I see a whole trainload of people hiding in their phones, not one moment of eye contact with another human…. Sometime soon I’ll be tutoring university students. I’ll put in a submission with the admin to ban portable devices from the tutorial room. Anyone who brings one in and gets onscreen will be asked to leave immediately. Otherwise, there is no point being a teacher for people who see no point in learning and would rather escape from their own chosen life!
Interesting that we blame the teachers for not providing interest when it is us who is not interested… very much exposes the lack of self-responsibility rife in society.
It is common and easy to feel a resistance when someone says there is work to be done, but if we re-define the work and say that there is true joy in a certain kind of work then the resistance can be lessened. Work and hence service in society is often associated with feeling terrible, getting tired and depleted etc, so it is understandable that people want to escape this and turn to screens. But what if work can be done in a way that brings joy, connects you and brings you energy – who would want to turn to screens in that case to escape this?
Yes I agree Henrietta if our youth are enmasse saying that they actually prefer to be on screens rather than in real life than we have to stop and ask some questions as a society about what is the real quality of the life we have created?
Thank you Benkt – and I could not agree more, screens and screen time is certainly ‘taking over’ in more ways than we realise…Much of our old school ways have been put aside, even old fashioned letters and birthday cards are now emails and e-cards, not to mention that magazines are replaced by on-line articles and blogs, news papers though still used by many, can be accessed on the phones etc. But what is of a concern is the addictive quality that is seen with screens and even I must say that though I jusify using screens for work, I spend a lot of time working and hence lots of time on the screens! Perhaps it is time for us as a society to have some screen detox?!
I definitely can feel in myself the tendency of moving away from the computer back to pen and paper and men to men conversations. While the computer or any mobile device is a great tool for writing, drafting and making calculations, it is also great in giving us distractions from what there is to do. For instance when I am searching the internet for information , I rarely find the information I need, only snippets that lead me to the next snippet but never bring me the whole and cost me a lot of time and eventually frustration. Now I choose to talk with people to find the solution I am looking for, like in the old days, when the computer did not yet exist.
This was a bit of an ouch for me to read because I know that I use screens as a ‘distraction from our responsibility to serve humanity’. And also an ouch because I recall being at a conference once and majority of people were on their phones/laptops when the speaker was presenting, and yes I know that some of them were taking notes on their laptop, but many were distracted and not being present with the speaker (which is a form of serving humanity – bringing your all and being present),and it is an ouch to feel/see what we are doing. Good to shine a light on this dark topic Benkt thank you.
Thank you Benkt for your honest sharing. I often hear grown ups complain about the ‘youth of today’ and their mobile phones. Of course it is a very serious problem but it seems to me that this problem is not caused by the younger generations but by those who built a society that was so void of love, so in need of entertainment and distraction to cover up the hurt of not having that love, that we now see the results of that reflected in the dire situations of the generations that came after us.
We think we are rich in the west with all the gadgets, comforts and wealth we have. For the majority there is no worry about safety or nutrition, having a warm bed to sleep in, getting an education, a job and buying most of what we desire. This seem like a richness but in truth we have degenerated and dilapidated to a new depth of poverty. A poverty of life quality, of purpose, of togetherness and of joy. No wonder we are looking to be distracted 24/7 and have allowed for an attention span of less then 5 minutes.
Yes, this poverty can be felt and I see it in the callousness of people wanting the next distraction fix, more intense and extreme than the last. It’s like people are bludgeoning their senses till not much connection registers.
These days when I work I turn my phone over or close the lid as I find even if I’m not looking at my phone my eye will catch a text message coming in which distracts me from what I am doing.
I saw 3 students walking across the road looking at their devices yesterday, they were clearly friends but none of them was engaging with each other or the process of crossing the road. It was like watching a moving photo that was meant as a joke to illustrate the absurdity of the situation – they were crossing a road for one!!! We have signs on the floor by traffic lights now calling for people not to be distracted by their devices because there have been so many people knocked over by buses and cars for not paying attention. We are literally killing ourselves with distraction.
Is it possible that we feel this world can feel overwhelming and in order to not feel this we distract ourselves with distractions like digital devices in order to not address what we can feel is so overwhelming about the world? There is the prevailing feeling of ‘what could one person do???’ Yet imagine seeing just one person reflecting something different, it would only take one other person to be inspired by that and we would have 2 etc etc…
True Benkt, it is a problem that as you say ‘one that screams for society’s attention’ How far away are we when we don’t connect with each other anymore and find our devices more important than anything else. And great that you are opening this discussion here, why do we need the distraction, it truly ‘is a waste of time to not be present.’
“…it is a waste of time to not be present.” Wow how true this is, though we are so tempted to not be present most of the time.
Well that’s a calling a spade a spade if ever I heard it! It is a waste of time to not be present – that is the truth and we know it.
Thank you Benkt, it is the simplest forms of decency and respect in our relationships we need to relearn.
Benkt a great blog that makes me question just why I am so hooked to my mobile, the screen what it offers and the distraction – even to work emails!
In addition to all you say it seems that for many there is something addictive about the screens.
Yes, it is very scary to be out in the world and see most people just staring at their phones. It makes it very difficult for me to connect with them.
Connecting with people is what we all miss.
We substitute our screen for this connection.
Are we addicted to our screens?
What would happen if we did not have our screens?
Are our screens really supporting us to evolve?
Benkt – sadly what you experience goes far beyond University. I am at a resort at the moment, already a place to check out – and at most meals families (parents and kids) are all on devices. It is a sad state to see that no environment is enough – that we need the stimulation to get us through a meal – time when we have an opportunity to connect with each other.
Benkt shocking to hear lecturers accept this level of dis-interest and distraction from students , seemingly unwilling or unable to do anything about it. You experienced first hand how bad the situation is when you gave your presentation. Some education circles, agree expectations related to use of mobile devices with students at the start of courses: they must be switched off or silenced. It’s usually adhered to. But someone has to lead the way.
This is how it is in High Schools as well Kehinde. I’ve thought the same, why don’t the Teachers just tell them to get off and put them away, but they encourage it most the times when the students need to look something up on their phones. They are extremely distracting especially if what they are learning is something they struggle or are not sure of.
That is so true Benkt, we are here to serve and work together.. everything away from that is a distraction of not wanting to be responsible for what we have to bring to another (humanity).
What an upto date picture of our current society you give, Benkt! People are glued to their phones and find it more and more difficult to connect and feel the purpose of living life. Great you speak up about this and set a different example.
A great call Benkt – how does this escape from reality really affect us? Are we aware of what we are missing out on by not being present and hence not ever truly connecting with each other nor ourselves?
Great questions Eva. It would be interesting to do a study on how the over use of screen time affects us. It would be interesting to see if the rates of anxiety and depression higher than usual for people who are regularly checking out on their device/screens?
That is a great observation Benkt. It makes me consider how many times I have been just reading that text message or that email during class and how that actually feels like for the teacher and myself because why am I checking out of the situation?
I write notes on my phone if I don’t have my laptop, so I am listening but eye contact is the missing ingredient and that can be daunting for any speaker.
Well said Carmel – these days our phones can be used like computers. But in the end, it is true that the lack of eye contact does impact on the actual interaction to a degree.
Everybody seems to be staring at a screen these days, whether we are walking, eating, waiting or sitting in a lecture. Virtual reality is fast overtaking ‘real’ life – but which one is real in the end?
I am amazed that mobile phones are allowed to be used during lectures! Yet, on the other hand it doesn’t surprise me as I observed what happened the other day when my son who is nine years old was told by a seventeen year old college student that he wouldn’t be able to use his phone if he wanted to work in a supermarket! If this kind of behaviour is allowed in university how does that prepare the students when they leave and get a job? No employer if they are committed to their work are going to want to employ people who waste time on their phone.
It is not only pre-teens or college students that have bad habits with phones… it is becoming anyone that can breathe! Phones have become the umbilical cord that we have connected which we can’t seem to live without!