Recently I had the opportunity to really appreciate the support that exercise contributes to my life, and to discover the relationship between my commitment to myself and my commitment to exercise.
I was quite the exercise fanatic for a large percentage of my life, but in recent years I had pulled back rather substantially from my exercise programs. Whilst I never stopped exercise completely, as I love my walks, I definitely reduced the amount, intensity and regularity.
In effect, I had experienced the two opposite ends of the scale – exercising too much for most of my life, and then in recent years, pulling back to a very minimal exercise program. But I felt that something was not quite right with my approach and with my commitment to exercise – and so I started to explore.
I began to introduce a regular gentle exercise program and I discovered that my body loved this new gentle and connected way of exercising. Listening to my body made me realise just how supportive and important exercise is and how it had such a positive effect on how I felt throughout the day. When I listened to the wisdom of my body and began to exercise for health and vitality, rather than weight management or body image as was the case in the past – I felt amazing!
I started a more regular and committed exercise program of cardio, light weights and some gentle stretching. I noticed how this supported my energy levels and thus my days in a very positive way. And it got me pondering:
- Why did I stop a lot of my exercise in the first place?
- Why do such a large proportion of the population do very little exercise?
As I began to honestly reflect on why my commitment to exercise had waned, I started to piece some things together. Apart from the obvious fact that I was exercising way too much and too hard, and then not exercising enough, I started to connect the dots of what was happening in my life and why these choices were made. It dawned on me like a big yellow light bulb, that…
There is an innate relationship between my commitment to exercise and my commitment to self.
My lack of commitment to myself was not something I was conscious of at the time: I didn’t go walking around saying out loud “I have given up on myself!” I discovered that this process of giving up on oneself seemed to be a slow chipping away over time that easily went unnoticed, as most of my focus was on getting through the day’s events.
On reflection, I can see that I went down the path of giving up on aspects of my life like relationships, family and friendships, because it all felt too hard or hurt too much. Over time, the self-doubt started to kick in, confidence and self-worth headed south, and the joy of life started to lose its sparkle and magic. My energy levels became erratic and my exercise commitment started to decline. I had to pull in more vices and outside motivation in order to get off the couch to exercise. Examples of vices I used were stimulating food and drinks (coffee, alcohol, sugary foods) to give me energy, or convincing myself off the couch to go for a walk even though my body was tired and unmotivated.
If I am really honest, the only reason I stayed in good shape during this time was vanity and my career. I wasn’t choosing to exercise for health and vitality: I was choosing to exercise for the purpose of a body image that I knew was accepted by society. But as I was to discover, like many others have, this approach cannot sustain itself long-term.
The relationship between the commitment to me and the commitment to exercise has become so clear to me now. The more I struggled with life, the more I struggled with committing to exercise. Now that I have seen this connection, my relationship with exercise is very different. Choosing to commit more to me and to truly living life has included dealing with the unresolved issues that were dragging me down. As a result of these choices all aspects of my life have changed… the way I eat, relate to people, my work, my relationships, energy levels… life has become a joy!
When I reflect back it all makes sense; of course I would lose interest in caring for me if I had on some level checked out or given up on aspects of my life. When we feel we are worth it and life is worth it, we pull out all stops to care for and nurture ourselves.
My newfound commitment has come from the understanding and claiming that…
- I matter in the world.
- I am making a conscious choice to make a difference.
- I am equally as amazing as anyone else because only I can bring what I bring and share with the world.
- I truly believe I am worthy of expressing my full potential.
Our daily choices really are powerful and have a big influence on our health and thus how we feel.
I have started to notice more and more how my body feels during, and after, my daily gentle exercise program. Here are the things that I am very much appreciating that regular exercise offers me…
- Increased endurance, stamina & energy levels
- Increased ability & ease to stay focussed on tasks
- A sharper mind with increased clarity
- Increased confidence in my body
- A content feeling in my body after exercise
- Improved quality of sleep
- Improved digestion & stool movement
- Reduced appetite, thus less likely to overeat
- Less likely to comfort eat, if at all
- An awareness of everything internal flowing with much more ease & efficiency (blood flow, circulation, digestion, assimilation etc.)
No longer is exercise a chore or something I have to do, but simply one of the many ways to support my wellbeing. It also confirms to me that my commitment to exercise is because of my commitment to me.
Without a doubt exercise is an important part of looking after ourselves, and we are all absolutely worth it!
By Marika Cominos, Fitness Professional / Yoga, Meditation & Complementary Therapies Practitioner, Melbourne, Australia
470 Comments
Regular, daily exercise makes an amazing difference to how we feel in the rest of our day. I know that when things get busy, exercise is one of the first things that goes out of the window, as I convince myself I don’t have time for it – but that is precisely when I need it the most, as I know that it re-energises me and means that I have more energy to work for longer, in a more sustainable way.
Agreed Bryony, when the work rate goes up that is precisely the point where we could do with the support that exercise offers us. My work involves alot of thinking and so the body work makes sure I don’t get lost in my head. And then there are intense bursts of heavy lifting and knowing that I have ‘got my own back’ with the strength that is there is awesome.
Commitment is the cornerstone of the foundation of our lives
‘No longer is exercise a chore or something I have to do, but simply one of the many ways to support my wellbeing. It also confirms to me that my commitment to exercise is because of my commitment to me.’ Thanks Marika I have an on off relationship with exercising and with that I say I have an on off relationship with me, time to bring my commitment to myself to another level not choosing this on off way of living but feeling my worth, knowing that I am the only one bringing what I bring and share this in abundance.
I know that when I avoid exercise, there is a part of me that wants to stay in a sluggishness and does not want to express my natural joy. Its like I want to stay in a struggle and making life difficult instead of supporting my body to feel more light.
Sluggish choices lead to a sluggish feeling and these sluggish feelings lead to more sluggish choices, it is a self perpetuating cycle.
The greater the loving and honouring relationship I hold with myself the greater love of life I live with. And with this appreciation, choosing to exercise in an honouring way is just another aspect of honouring my relationship with my body and being, which supports and confirms me to live the strength of who I naturally am.
Thank you Marika. I can relate to a lot of what you have shared. Exercise can bring so many benefits to the body and yet most people either exercise in a way that is harming or choose not to exercise at all. That in itself says a lot about the relationship most people have with themselves.
Exercise is a part of being responsible. It is also our responsibility to feel good, and feel we are worth it. That is to commit to ourselves as Marika has beautifully expressed. “When we feel we are worth it and life is worth it, we pull out all stops to care for and nurture ourselves.”
IF YOU DON’T feel you are worth it, and I once did, start with your qualities. Essentially even if it is only 5 mins a day to begin with, to write down a quality we are, and we are all the same in our qualities – sensitive, tender, delicate, fragile, vulnerable, playful etc and claim and feel from our body which quality we will come back for that day, after that first 5 mins. This is how I began to appreciate and thus accept myself – my worth. At the same time I committed to exercise too and this was just 4 exercises on the floor with some dumbells – 15 mins. A great way to build a solid foundation. Now to my supporting my commitment to myself, if I only commit to at least 2 days a week for just 15 mins it’s enough to keep my exercise routine going – consistency is key.
It is so true, when I exercise I feel much more steady, with myself and surrendered in the day, yet I don’t always stick with this. I need to contemplate why, when I know it is so supportive, I don’t always give myself the space to do it.
This is great and shows why some people may find it hard to stay committed to exercise as they may not have developed a loving commitment to themselves and therefore the choice to exercise is not then in the flow of their choices. I can relate to this as I have gone through times of not caring for myself and just getting caught up in the day and these are the times when I let my diet and exercise slip as my choice to not care for me affects all of my choices.
Without appreciation for what exercise offers us it is harder to maintain it and as you so clearly share this is a downward spiral that we can struggle to come out of. Appreciation for the benefits of exercise and the amazing bodies that we have been given are so supportive when we are trying to change long established patterns and committing to treating ourselves with loving care.
Beautiful to feel your commitment to yourself of which exercising is a part. I have always known that my body responds better when it has some exercise and have just booked a one-to-one session to support me with establishing a personal programme that can become an integral part of my life.
One line into this blog and I was jealous, luckily, I decided to keep reading and everything you offered on exercise was so clear and beautiful, it’s the best way I have ever heard exercise benefits described actually but alas the jealousy still remained. Lots of thoughts started to come to me, like I wish I could fit that into my day and nobody understands how little time I have and how many businesses and children I have, I can hardly even fit a daily walk in. Anyway, I am boring myself, the Violins and pity party for one has that effect on me. The point is I wanted to be honest about my jealousy because at least then, it will not have the same hold on me. In truth, I want what you have established for yourself, I am inspired by you but unfortunately for now, still jealous that I cannot see a way of having it with my current situation but I am still laughing, even as I type, you have to laugh sometimes or you’ll cry!
Oh Sarah…your comment made me laugh. Love your honesty 🙂
I know what you mean about being time poor as our lives are so busy these days.
One of the things I do to fit in my walking on busy days is making phone calls whilst I am walking or taking friends/family on a walk with me.
A 30min walk makes all the difference to my day…
” Recently I had the opportunity to really appreciate the support that exercise contributes to my life, ”
In the last year I have had the same opportunity , and its amazing as to how the body, me, loves the supportive consequences of physical exercise in the gym.
I am having the same experience John, except I don’t go to the gym but do two online exercise programmes that my body appreciates. It has the same feeling of going for a walk when you’ve been in all day – you can just tell the body is loving it.
We naturally want to take care of ourselves and our bodies, so when we stop the question is – what’s happened? I notice that I stop exercising not when I’m physically tired, but when I’ve taken something on, or when something is bothering me – it’s become a key indicator that there’s something I need to look at.
I can see and am claiming step by step in my life that every loving choice I make towards commitment to myself is what truly makes a difference in the world and not what I do or how much I make.
Exercising to build your body with vitality completely contrasts building it to try and alleviate the insatiable vanity and emptiness of our body image issues.
If you love yourself and know how amazing you are, then there is nothing to be fixed, there is nothing to mend or hide, you simply need the strength and vitality for living all of you in each and every day.
I needed to read this ‘There is an innate relationship between my commitment to exercise and my commitment to self.’ and then as you further mention how that is linked with self-worth. This is an ah ha moment to me in what I am feeling in my body. I know my body loves exercise and a few years ago after yeaarrrrrsss of procrastination I started this up again. A programme that was designed for me to do at home and committed to doing this 3 times a week. I really noticed the difference in as you say .. stamina, focus, connection and so much more. Then this dropped for a long time and only recently I have picked this back up again and have started to go to the gym. What the ah ha moment is though being able to feel there is a far deeper level to go with my commitment to me .. I am great at taking care of others things just not so much of me. So thank you for sharing.
This point highlights the trap that many of us fall for, that we ‘…exercise for the purpose of a body image that I knew was accepted by society.’ I know I certainly did, pushing myself through gruelling exercise regimes so that I felt a sense of achievement that I firstly got through it, and that I was fitting a picture of fitness, health and a body image that was deemed as desirable. But in all honesty, this did not change the way I truly felt about myself and the lack of connection I was feeling. Through building a loving relationship with myself, my essence, I now choose to exercise as a loving act to confirm the quality I feel within me, so that through movement I strengthen this connection and magnify this quality through my body, which then moves with me throughout my day.
‘Without a doubt exercise is an important part of looking after ourselves, and we are all absolutely worth it!’ True Marika, of course like you have mentioned how and why you are exercising is crucial for the benefits. I have started to bring regular exercising back in my routine as my body is very loudly asking for the support and I know from experience how I can feel so much more alive when I make the commitment to exercise.
Exercise as a fundamental element of self-care, as opposed to a way to abuse ourselves? This makes complete sense Marika, and thank-you for sharing just how great the flow-on effects are in your life and well-being with your regular commitment.
When I commit to caring for myself with food, sleep rhythm and how I feel, then to commit to a gentle exercise program for how I move is an essential part of the whole.
Thank you Marika, I loved what you have shared, I have found my self making excuses for not walking, like I’ll wait till the sun comes out or I’ll do it in the afternoon often it doesn’t get done at all, I loved what you shared that it is all about my commitment to myself first and foremost. Time to commit to me. “Without a doubt exercise is an important part of looking after ourselves, and we are all absolutely worth it!”
I let my exercise routine go recently as I got sick and busy with work. It is amazing how flat you can feel without it and be in it before you even notice. Exercise can be such a great support in bringing consistency to life.
Exercise can be a lot more enjoyable and fun if we make it about connection to the body and enjoying its movement – rather than trying to get somewhere, to a goal and picture of how we think we need to look. It takes away the pressure to perform and the need for an outcome.
In the past 5-6 months I chose to participate in more regular structured exercise classes. No boot camp techniques but strengthening classes working with core strength and light weights appropriate for me. The difference in my body has been truly eye opening with the available support my body offers back to me. This has been particularly obvious in my day to day working activities but also in my general well-being. I agree Marika consistent balanced exercise is totally awesome when approached from the choice of supporting who we are.
Wow I love what you are experiencing as a result of true commitment to exercise – these are the things most people hope for – but what is amazing here is that by you bringing in more commitment to your body, listening to your body and exercising from a place of support rather than needing to look a certain way, naturally you increase your vitality – this is awesome to read.
“I began to introduce a regular gentle exercise program and I discovered that my body loved this new gentle and connected way of exercising. Listening to my body made me realise just how supportive and important exercise is and how it had such a positive effect on how I felt throughout the day” An inspiring read – thankyou Marika.
Just what I needed to read Marika to give me a little push with what my body is already impulsing me to do. Thank you.
“When I listened to the wisdom of my body and began to exercise for health and vitality, rather than weight management or body image as was the case in the past – I felt amazing!” Listening to my body is one of the most powerful things I have done in my life. No longer constrained by ‘should be’ doing, eating etc because other people or a book tells me so. Our body tells us – if we are willing to listen – the ultimate true empirical science.
My body simply says a big yes every time I exercise. This keeps inspiring me to include it as a regular part of my daily routine.
I relate to what you share Marika, I was addicted to exercise that pushed me and my body to its limits and beyond earlier in my life. My body has not allowed me to exercise in the sense of what most people do for some time now, however recently I have started some very basic short simple super easy exercises that only last a few minutes, and am finding this so supportive.
Exercise along with other self care choices make a huge difference in all aspects of our lives, and it comes back to choice
Thank you Marika. Your article is interesting when the wider population is considered with obesity and lack of commitment to self. It is easy to succumb to overwhelm and the perceived pressures of everyday life and check out when we give up on caring for ourselves.
It is so true that the process of giving up on yourself is something that happens little by little as we turn our attention to something we feel is more important. But as you have pointed out, we are absolutely worth deeply caring for and as such worth addressing all the things that get in the way of remembering that.
This is a great sharing Marika really addressing the root cause for the ‘laziness’ we can feel when it comes to exercise. So next time instead of pushing myself, trying to be hard on me and use discipline I will check in and assess where I have given up on myself and re-connect to that place where I know I matter and what my purpose is.
Such a fun and honest blog on how we can totally transform our relationship with exercise!
I have always felt exercise to be sold to me in a way I need it to make me feel better and look better – A way to make myself different physically, and that I can use exercise to feel better than someone who is not as fit.
But this is just a trick to keep exercise as something we measure each other against rather than an individual relationship with our bodies and how we personally support ourselves. There is much to take from this blog – in how we are able to exercise in appreciation of our bodies.
Its a very interesting observation that if a steady commitment to exercise is the alternative to giving up on ourselves, then as a human race what is going on? Obesity and lack of exercise is a well known epidemic of modern life, and rather than judging that we can come to an understanding that people are more inclined to give up on themselves. How sad is that… but more importantly why….?
it is the self-worth aspect that shines through here… Something that is great to nurture in our children, and most definitely in our own lives.