My gorgeous husband continuously surprises me with his level of openness and willingness to deepen the love in himself and in our relationship. I am forever in appreciation and awe of this and I admire that when I present more love, there is not an ounce of resistance in him to going deeper. For me, this is the confirmation of how powerful the expression of love is: it is supportive, beholding and asking us to further question, unfold and return to the greatness we are all actually from.
For the first time in this life I feel that I am in an intimate, fully committed relationship with a man where we treat each other as equals: we are each unique, we each have our own offerings and strengths in our relationship as we do have areas we each need support with.
However, together we are on the path to be all that we can be with each other, all others, and ourselves in every part of our day. This is an appreciation of him and for him, but also of myself and my deepening commitment to living and being the love that I am in full.
My gorgeous husband is tender, deeply considerate, unimposing, loving, gentle and super caring. He is a powerhouse, he has the ability to unify and gather people, to relate caringly with them and build strong relationships. He is able to see, feel, nominate, and clearly voice his feelings of how things have played out the way they have. He is able to acknowledge when he is wrong and to speak about areas he wants to place more loving attention into.
These are all qualities that I see and appreciate in him but at times he does not see in himself, or have appreciation for . . . and he is aware of this. I fully understand how this can happen and have felt the same in myself too. I totally love his honesty as he chooses to move forward with now bringing appreciation of himself; as he continues to self-care and deepen his relationship with himself, he develops an ever growing presence.
All of this has unfolded with a loving rapidity for him in the past year and I fully admire him, also appreciating the level of love that is now available for us all to connect to and choose in our way of living.
This is a dedication to the love and openness of my husband, and the unending love from Our Soul, always calling us to be more love.
In deep appreciation of Serge Benhayon and the presentations of the Ancient Wisdom and Universal Medicine for reflecting this love to me. This consistent reflection has supported my journey that began eight years ago by reconnecting to the love that I am, to me, and to my greatness. Now we live that love in our family, at work, with our friends and in our lives.
Forever learning and unfolding . . .
By Johanna Smith, Bachelor of Education
Further Reading:
Soul
Appreciation in Relationships
How many Marriages & Relationships have been Improved?
749 Comments
This is absolutely beautiful Joahanna, Appreciating and supporting each other on the path to be all that you can be with each other, all others, and yourselves in every part of our day. True inspiration.
A wonderful response Heidi,
I really hold relationships in such high regard when they are about true evaluation and growth together as a couple but honouring the individual essence of each individual aswell. It’s beautiful.
There is such power when we behold another in appreciation,, as our equal, in essence as love.
How could one resist a man who is willing to open his heart up to the world for all to see? Too few of us are willing to express our love, and so life is as it is – a hardened shell of an existence devoid of the finer qualities that make us who we truly are. Society burns for more love, and yet jealousy, comparison and a propensity to hold on to the comfort of what is familiar prevent us from appreciating it when it is presented before us. The world is open to us when we are open to ourselves, and to each other. Then the veil lifts, and we realise the splendour of our own love, and the love that lies deep within all. Beautifull blog. Thank you…
Yes, opening up our hearts to the world is the most beautiful thing in the world, and there we find all the love and exquisiteness that we have been looking for all our lives. It is absolutely amazing to then share it with another.
Word, Adam! Society burns for more love. You said so much in those lines. Beautiful comment.
Wisely spoken Adam…
Society is asking for more open and tender men, as per many advertisement campaigns, however on the other hand society may, at its’ convenience also cut them down.
However if we are open to love and are uncompromising we will be able to lift all around us. No matter if they are in admiration or comparison.
Yet another powerful comment Adam. Thank you. Your words always make me pause and bask in the divinity they offer.
Thank you Johanna this is so inspiring to read. I can feel the depth and expansion of love that you allow your relationship to grow in and with……returning to the absoluteness of your soul. Very beautiful.
Forming a relationship with a partner who is prepared to call you out whilst holding you dear is a sign of maturity and responsibility in both parties.
I love this Victoria – a commitment to love and knowing the love that is within each of us.
Beautifully said Victoria – as calling out what is not Love is truly an act of Love, and simply an expression of truth.
Agree Victoria, these are great traits to have in all relationships to make them true.
It calls for maturity, the will to make everything about love, and knowing that that is the only loving and responsible course in life. That is how we place our hurts and our eagerness to be hurt to one side, and to always know that other person by their essence…no matter how they are behaving in that moment.
So here is a question…what if we do offer that same level of responsibility to ourselves as well? Even when our behaviour is a bit off we can give ourselves the loving grace to know that underneath all of that is a essence that is magnificent. Yes, we can hold ourselves dear. That is indeed maturity.
Love the question Rachel. This is something I have been noticing with myself lately, if I’m inpatient or have expectations on someone then I also have those expectations on myself.
I love what you have shared Rachael. The word ‘maturity’ says it all to me. What you have presented is a circular story for if we understand ourselves we understand others more and if we are really committed to understanding others we understand ourselves more. Bringing understanding and love to every situation is indeed a sign of maturity.
That’s powerful Rachel and indeed a real question to ponder. It’s often easier to look at our relationships, without really considering our relationship with ourselves. For if we are being hard with ourselves in any way, this is how we are being with others. Learning to appreciate ourselves in every moment and in all that we do, not because of what we do but because of the quality of ourselves that we are holding dear in that moment, is such a beautiful way to learn about ourselves.
I agree Rachel, so beautifully expressed and how treasuring for us to hold ourselves in this way
Beautifully said Victoria. It is indeed a sign of a true relationship
Well said, Victoria, ~ that’s called love.
A willingness to go deeper and evolve together. As in call out and be called out, it’s all part of the beautiful process.
A relationship that has evolution at its core. A relationship of true love.
It’s amazing isn’t, it how true and steady a relationship can be? When I think back to the days before my amazing husband happened along I lurched from one difficult relationship to the next. What made the difference? Working on me, so I could be ‘true-relationship ready’, and ready to meet a man I deserved rather than a man I settled for out of need and a lack of self-worth.
This is a great point Victoria, yes there is a big difference between connecting to the love within us and being that love compared with expecting that love from outside of us to fill a need or lack that we feel. Appreciation and accepting that we are love to begin with changes everything.
Indeed without being able to behold ourselves in a loving and appreciative way there is little chance to have the depth of love and acceptance that is expressed in this blog, rather only a relationship based on having our needs met.
Victoria I can totally relate to your comment about being true relationship ready to meet a man you deserved rather than settling out of need. In the past I have definitely formed relationships based on need, but that is changing as I value myself more and more.
I completely agree Victoria. I had a good 5 years on my own working on me but in that time I loved being on my own and deepening my connection with my divine love. I knew deep down that I no longer wanted to settle or compromise for anything less than my love within and that love would come when I was love and open to love.
There is so much love here Johanna. Your love for yourself, your love and appreciation of your husband, your dedication and commitment to your relationship, and the love and care in the way that you relate and communicate. Just beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
I agree Rebecca, love is just oozing out of every choice in the relationship both with self and her Johanna’s husband. It is a gift to share it with us.
Agreed Rebecca and Lucy this is the gift that Love is when we choose to claim it for ourselves. As it can’t not be then shared with all, as the nature of Love is immeasurable, all-inclusive and all-encompassing as it emanates through our hearts for all to see and feel. What Johanna shares here is very inspiring indeed.
Thank you Rebecca for your very heartfelt expression.
It was beautiful to read how your relationship with your husband is now one of building love together. It really shows that hiding ourselves away from others really is not healthy. The love that we so crave comes from the love that we are and the love that we are can shine from others. Hiding ourselves away in the belief that harm comes from others is only confirmed when we have harmed ourselves first, we are all each others best reflections.
Well said Leigh. You have nailed it.
And to add- the love we crave is that love in us that we dearly miss because we are not making the choices to live that love in full for ourself first.
I know from the past, I would feel very lonely at times in a relationship. I was not honouring my love, was seeking it from another and when that didn’t get shared in the fullness- it was like a double whammy of a hurt. Feeling my own lack of self love and feeling another’s toward me in relationship.
Sometimes we cannot see the love that we are until it is reflected back through another. Once it is seen, are we then able to accept it OR is our chosen blindness there to mask the fact that we cannot handle being the stupendous love that we actually are?
It is indeed our ‘chosen’ blindness that masks what ultimately cannot be denied…
It sometimes even feels like we are running away from what we cannot run away as we are it.. love.
‘Sometimes we cannot see the love that we are until it is reflected back through another’. A power statement Liane that is so true. Until we develop a solid appreciation and knowing of ourselves, and then live it, it is there constantly being reflected to us through others, and often through nature, serving to remind us of the love that we are. Someone said to me recently ‘we are never not supported’, and I am starting to really see and feel this in my own life.
Yes well said Liane, which is why it is so important that we be and live the love that we are as when we stray, we are each reflecting and reminding and pulling each other up and back to love.
I am learning the great beauty that is is to be the mirror for another. To offer that clear, reflective surface I must take off my blindfold and accept my own love in full in all of its stupenduousness.
And if we were to accept this as the premise of relationships – how different would the state of our relationships be today!
Completely different and they would be true ! What a world that will be when there is love between all people.
Very true Liane, and thank God for those who are walking in full expression of the love we are to awake us from our blindness.
Amazingly well said Liane, for me it took for sure some to show me the love that I am for me to accept and embrace this love more with every step I take.
It can take a while to let the love and appreciation in and to feel and accept this for ourselves. When others around us hold a loving expression and consistency lived that we feel the reflection and truth for ourselves, as you say Liane. Such is the love Johanna and her husband share which is inspiring.
ah the chosen blindness! I know that one, and then play it dumb when I am appreciated and reminded of all that I am.
Something that I am currently quite aware of and an old pattern that is slowly, bit by bit being broken.
I recall talking to some colleagues one day and in one moment I saw them all looking at me adoringly. My blindfold had slipped down for that moment and I got to see my own reflection. In that moment I could not accept was I was feeling, but it sat with me for a long time, for my mask had actually fallen away. What I truly got to see was the ‘stupendous love’ that I am. I can feel the level of appreciation that is being shown by Johanna is allowing her husband to see more clearly the love that he also is. Such magnificent inspirations.
Thanks for your gesturing up sharing Jennifer. It brought a smile to my face as I read it.
Thanks for your beautiful sharing Jennifer. It brought a smile to my face as I read it.
When we hold each other in love, we hold ourselves equal to each other. Love is limitless and has no measure; it is we who try to measure love.
And that is an extraordinarily difficult and exhausting task. No wonder so many of us a tired!
Yes so many of us have become masters at measuring.
Yes love is limitless and has no measure and once we allow ourselves to live this once again our awareness expands exponentially and our relationships are lifted to another level – one that again is limitless.
Well said Liane, Love has no measure and no end, it is only us that have tried to put conditions and limits on it.
Well said Liane. And if we succeed to measure our love, we live the measured life to our detriment and that of all others.
Your appreciation is deeply touching Johanna. I can feel how in expressing your appreciation it supports the love that you both are to flourish and evolve. So different from what can so often happen in relationships where if one starts to shine the other gets jealous or feels uncomfortable because their comfort is being challenged, which sadly usually results in comfort being restored as the other person drops back into the status quo. Feels awful, all the more so because I know I have done this to others and felt it from others. Appreciation + appreciation + appreciation = love and evolution.
I love your comment, Lucy, because it i so true. When jealousy sneaks in, there’s no room for love and both drop. You’re really good in math! Love your equation too!
Great to hear you have the relationship you do with your Husband Johanna. True partnerships are about evolving and expressing love. Things can be worked out when love is the foundation and the union of two people in love is a very beautiful thing.
This was absolutely gorgeous to read ?✨
Johanna, it is that willingness to constantly and consistently go deeper in any relationship that is key. Something that I know from personal experience can be quite daunting and challenging to the way I have been living. Beautiful to read that you have been able to build such a solid relationship with your husband.
Beautiful! The power of love and appreciation. Thank you Johanna.
This is a beautiful article Joanna and a great sharing as true appreciation of any kind seems to be far from he natural way of living in this Modern day world. In fact people pick out what is wrong with them very easily but have no idea about their strengths and I have been one of these people and I am just starting to realise that I do have strength and they are well worth stoping and appreciating.
I hear what you are saying Amina. I keep falling in this trap of focussing on what I cannot do which seems to erase all my strengths. This same judgement I then project on to others. I realize now that it is my responsibilty to be more loving with myself not just for my sake but for everyone’s sake. Great harm can be done through all we unwillingly create.
I know- this is a shame that we so easily not pick the faults but do not fully acknowledge or appreciate the strengths.
It is deeply inspiring and I love the feeling of openness and honesty from your husband in your relationship, his relationship with himself and with others.
I agree Michael, Johanna’s husband rocks!
To appreciate a relationship as the first you have experienced this life, that is full of you and another and all the learning that comes with it is gold and absolutely beautiful. I can relate to the level of deepening intimacy, love, unfolding and companionship that I have with my partner too. There is something very sacred about a relationship with a man (for me as a woman) when I continue to deepen my acceptance and sacredness as a women. We continue to confirm and communicate with each other from a rock-solid foundation of love, respect and integrity and this leaves me in awe every single day.
I love how you share your gorgeous husband with us all Johanna and also how you share all his loving qualities and his not fully appreciating himself. This applies to most of us I feel and has been an ongoing work in progress for me myself working to break a very old momentum of putting myself down or making myself less, just when things were going so well, I would have to sabotage it. Wow it is so much better when we don’t do this as it chops off the love building that you talk of.
Yes Doug I agree it is a pleasure to read Johanna honouring her husband; I use to hear many complains of friends about their partners, that they not doing what they are asked to do, rather putting them down in conversations. It shows the hight level of love and care in the relationship that Johanna is living with her husband. An absolute must read that everyone can feel the difference.
This sabotage at times comes in for us too from either side. And I agree, it did tend to come in when everything seems to be going so well- perhaps it comes in purposely to pull the love down ? But when we look at it lovingly and reflect on how and why it happened- there is always yet another learning that unfolds from it and our love deepens as does our trust.
Yes, Johanna, you are quite right, the key is to confirm ourselves. Whatever we confirm becomes solid, whatever we fail to confirm becomes more and more will o’ the wisp until it is suddenly gone and we have to work hard on feeling it again.
Indeed Christoph, unless we confirm the love fades. Conformation is much needed.
Confirmation and appreciation are key to loving relationships with ourselves and indeed others, otherwise are we not just bringing our hurts and reactions in to play?
Agree Christoph through appreciation we confirm the what is and build a solid foundation of the love we keep on confirming. Through confirmation everything grows and by confirming love we are living love.
I am beginning to see how KEY confirmation truly is.
Indeed this the rock bed that brings soundness to our being.
A quality that no trophy, no award, no medal comes anywhere close to.
So true. And what i also feel is super key – is that we give ourselves the space to truly stop, to surrender, to let go and be. . . feeling ourselves in our natural true way.
Just today Christoph I appreciated the solidness and divinity that is in my body as I walk and my eyes as I look. I walked in this confirming knowing today and it is very different to knowing it’s there and trying to get back to it, which I have also experienced. It is so important for us to absolutely say ‘yes this is me’ when we feel our true and natural selves.
Thank you Johanna for sharing your appreciation and love that you have for your husband. What I can clearly feel and take with me from your words and livingness is that when we make appreciation and love the focus in our lives that which still needs working on and growing from will heal. It is like the nurturing and caring that we give a sick patient to heal. Appreciation and love will heal all that that needs to be healed.
It is a healing simply to read and feel the quality behind the words of this blog. The level of appreciation here is really lovely which allows a confirmation in the reader of their own relationships and encourages appreciation in their turn.
Johanna you have written an amazing testament of what a true loving relationship is.
The relationship you have developed with your husband is so beautiful to read as it is inspirational… and a marker for many of what is possible. How much you love and appreciate him is deeply felt and a testament to the love you have connected to and developed within yourself.
A beautiful sharing of your appreciation for your husband and how you are both open to continually deepening your relationship. I have never heard another talk about their partner in such a way. Very inspiring to feel your deep appreciation of yourself and your husband.
Your blog Johanna highlights how important appreciation is the key to any relationship. I love how you see and appreciate the qualities that your husband brings that he is yet to see in himself, and how this allows him to appreciate himself so much more. I know in the past that without appreciation I can so easily dismiss what another brings to the relationship and bring in my own demands of how I would like them to be, and how this doesn’t allow the relationship to blossom and grow.
You struck chord with me Alison. Appreciation is key in any relationship – with ourselves, our partners, friends, children…Focusing on the bad points is a very effective way to hold back love. But appreciation can be learned and with appreciation comes a greater ability to express love.
I absolutely agree Alison. Appreciation seems to lay a strong foundation that deepens when things are going well and is a holding when something needs to be looked at together or a disagreement comes up. Appreciation is key to remaining loving. An area all relationships benefit from.
Wow Alison that is so true what you share here: “I know in the past that without appreciation I can so easily dismiss what another brings to the relationship and bring in my own demands of how I would like them to be . . . ” Is it not so that most of us are doing this? And with doing so we ask ourselves why our relationships did not last? We have to be more honest about our own demands otherwise we get lost. Appreciation and honoring the partner is really a good medicine for unrealistic demands and desires.
Thank you, Joanna. The joy you share is easily felt, and shows that there is no limit to love once we open our hearts again. It is beautiful to feel that there are true relationships like yours in the world, and what a blessing this is for everyone around you.
Agreed Janet, it is so lovely to feel and see a relationship where the depth of love Johanna and her husband have is felt as you do not see many truly relationships out in the world.
Yes Joanna thank you for this heartfelt expression of love. It is indeed rare to meet or read about people who reflect true love. Your love for each other will inspire all those you come in contact with. Beautiful.
hi Joanna, This is a great remiinder to me of how powerful Love is and how we can take that into every aspect of our lives and relationships. Thak you.
Wow Johanna, this is gorgeous to read, it is so beautiful to write this and show how much you appreciate and adore your husband, a wife writing a loving, adoring letter to her husband in this way is something that is rarely heard of or seen, often we hear the opposite, of how dissatisfied people are in their relationships, so this is a breath of fresh air. And how very lovely for him to be confirmed by you in this way. I feel much love and adoration of my partner but often do not express this, I feel very inspired by your article, thank you.
I agree, Rebecca, we so seldom hear a man or woman express true appreciation of their partner like Johanna has done, it is so beautiful. And it is not that either of them are perfect, but they are willing to really work together to make this partnership really work. How beautiful it is to read how they are each evolving, through this working with and supporting each other. And so supportive to other couples who see how it can be done.
Johanna, a beautiful testament and tribute both to your husband and you and your embracement of soul in your relationship together. Inspiring, thank you.
This is indeed inspiring. Appreciating oneself allows us to appreciate another. Being open and honest with yourself and your partner is the soil where love can real grow.
Johanna, a beautiful blog, appreciating your husband and all that he is. Seldom do we see, hear or feel others appreciate one another in this way. It has become the norm to joke about and belittle even our nearest and dearest, which puts a stop to further deepening or unfolding our true love and our true selves together. There is much to be shared with one another and this process never stops.
This is true. There is a lot of belittling at the expense of another just to gain a laugh or two. I always cringe when I feel this happening and usually say something if I feel to.
I agree, Jenny, I love how Johanna has expressed this huge appreciation of her husband, which we don’t very often hear like this. It is wonderful that they are sharing such a beautiful relationship, constantly working together on themselves, calling each other out as necessary I would imagine, to keep evolving their relationship and themselves. What a role model this relationship is for others to see how beautifully it can be lived.
Pure, unadulterated, unabridged appreciation. If we let it in, allow it in to every crook and crannies of our bodies, all the issues, dramas, tensions and judgements are swept away. The ultimate internal and external car-wash.
I love this Otto and am going to be making sure every nook and cranny is full of appreciation for myself, my family, friends, work and so many other things that happen in my day.
Yes, Sally and Otto, I’m in, deepening my appreciation, because there is an endless amazingness all around me and within me to keep appreciating.
Love a good super wash with a massive dose of appreciation:)
A relationship based on appreciation for self and another topped with forever growing love and deepening care for each other – the ultimate recipe for a loving relationship
I love this Otto. The ultimate car wash and the premium fuel for our car – 100% appreciation.
What a great way to express this, Otto, love it. But it is so true, we all need that super-wash regularly, need to get into all the nooks and crannies and wash them all out. And what is needed is a regular dose of appreciation, that will do the trick.
mmm. It’s the car wash we all love… sweeping away all the specks of self doubt and what we are not – confirming the beaming super car underneath.
I will do a car wash today!
Hi Otto, I love your words here. Obviously you have felt the power of appreciation to your core, both in yourself and your relationships. This is a very powerful though simple comment, and a testimony to someone speaking from their livingness as it just bounces off the page
Indeed Otto – if we truly let it in, it will be life changing.
Love the analogy Otto.
Love this Otto, what an awesome way of expressing it! Appreciation is amazing when we let it in as it has this way of allowing all the love we are on the inside out. The ultimate car wash indeed!!
I love that Otto, appreciation unbridled and absolutely expressed as the ultimate car wash – yes.
Said in one Otto, appreciation just washes away the scars and opens hearts.
And no credit card required! Just appreciation and love.
a ‘love wash’
Love what you are saying here Otto. When we feel deep love and appreciation for ourselves we can inspire others to do the same. The most fertile soil for any relationship.
I absolutely love this Otto, after all, love is all there is.
a divine power wash we all deserve – indeed Otto this is a great visual to hold.
The Ultimate Car Wash of Appreciation. A must for every BODY.
Beautiful Otto a daily internal bath with the sweetest bath salts ever, called Living Joy!
A beautiful blog of appreciation. “However, together we are on the path to be all that we can be with each other, all others, and ourselves in every part of our day.” This is true for all of us – to be all that we can be – for ourselves and thus for everyone too.
For being a single women, I too can live a caring relationships with every person that I meet, every connection with a person is my chance to share my appreciation for them being a reflection in my life.
And all the appreciation one feels for themself is felt automatically by others. Others feel that they are then naturally held in this same quality and care.
Very beautiful Johanna your husband sounds like an amazing fella. I love someone that can admit that they are wrong and can grow and move on without being stuck in their ways. I also struggle with self appreciation but as we all know nobodies perfect.
I can relate to your struggle with self appreciation, Kev, it is ridiculous just how hard it can be to really appreciate yourself and how you have progressed in the journey of life. Then of course it follows on that acceptance of yourself as you are is the next hurdle. Slowly working on both these. How wonderful it is to see Johanna and her husband working on these aspects together, that is truly awesome.
This is true. No one is perfect and for me learning to let go that things or myself needs to be perfect has been a huge revelation.
When we admit that we are wrong and can grow from our mistakes without attachment, there has to be a bed of self appreciation there so we can get up and go again rather than brooding in self.
Great point Kev McHardy, when we expect ourselves to be perfect before we can appreciate ourselves, we will never get there….and that’s a long time : ). It does take a bit of practice, and I am really good at appreciating others, or things I have done, but to just appreciate me for being me – with all my imperfections – is one I’m working on as well. But when I do, I can feel it is really very much worth it; I am worth it. At the moment it helps me to work with joy, connecting with others, rather than allowing myself to pull back and go into self doubt. Through the connection the joy is confirmed and everything gets lifted. We all are an amazing support for each other; we just have to reach out.
Thank you for sharing Johanna, it looks like you are both deepening your relationship daily and working on it quite actively. When doing so, it feels amazing as we don’t get the other half to to do mind reading which can usually lead to more challenging time.
Absolutely, being stuck in a cycle of assuming the other person in the relationship knows what your thinking and feeling does not ever serve. It creates issues and problems that otherwise don’t have to be there.
So true Alexandre. It is about responsibility too. Taking responsibility for our own love and that which we share with each other.
To expect another to mind read feels like the ‘easy’ way out and an excuse for not saying what needs to be said, lovingly so. And then what seemed ‘easy’ can become very complicated and messy as it changes the relationship and the way two people relate with each other.
We do expect others to know what we are feeling, yet often fail to own the responsibility that we are constantly feeling everything and need to express this. Otherwise how do we honour our own beings?
That is beautiful Johanna, it is lovely, well truly awesome, when people open up and say yes to love unreservedly so. I am constantly blown away by the depths of love that we can go to, yet know I am only scratching the surface. To be able to do this with your husband is wonderful as well. I am also blessed to have a deeply loving, delicate and gorgeous sweet angelic wife who wants nothing but love as well.
It’s beautiful to hear and feel your level of appreciation for your wife and your relationship James. Thank you.
How beautiful Johanna – for me this morning in reading this I felt you shared what I feel to be an important ‘ingredient’ to any amazing relationship and that is “to not have an ounce of ‘resistance'”. This brings such an openness to share, support and finely tune within without creating walls to once again take down before getting to the underlying truth of any situation that has occurred previously or comes along. Appreciation of one another is also a relationship maker and cements strong foundations.
This feels very true Marion, ‘Appreciation of one another is also a relationship maker and cements strong foundations.’ I can feel that if there is not appreciation of each other and an issue arises then it is easy to blame each other and for things not to be resolved based on love, but that there can instead be a battle of who is right and who is wrong, so I can feel how important a strong foundation of appreciation is.
I totally agree Rebecca
Breaking down the resistance, building strong foundations and deeply appreciating each other. What a beautiful recipe for loving relationships.
What a super gorgeous blog Johanna, and what a super gorgeous husband you have. What an amazing reflection you are to each other. There is so much tenderness in your words, they are so inspiring as to what a truly loving, open and honest relationship can be when it based on a solid foundation of true love.
Thank you Sandra. We are learning from each other all the time and it is lovely to be part of. I feel that the foundations we establish together do ripple into all our other relationships.
‘What an amazing reflection you are to each other. ‘ – Well said Sandra, and what is more is that they are an amazing reflection for each and every one of us. True relationships are indeed a reflection the world needs more of.
Yes Eva, in my own amazing relationship whilst there is no perfection, we have always felt that we serve others everywhere in the love that we share together. It has always felt to me that my husband is the nearest inspiration of love in my life in order that I share that with everyone equally.
Hi Shirley
This is so beautiful to share and true for all loving relationships including friendships. When the relationship is true it serves all equally and inspires others to feel inclusive and interconnected.
Thank you Sandra and Eva. What I have come to also learn is that I was not claiming the love that we have in our relationship fully and that which we were already reflecting. Through appreciating and celebrating the gorgeousness of us together and all we have come to I am constantly confirming the truth of the reflection we live and are with each other, also knowing it will forever deepen and is there to be forever worked on.
Yes l agree, it is deeply moving. This is a wonderful marker of a loving relationship for us all to appreciate and emulate.
A great reminder that in the end what we all want most is to love and be loved and when we truly present love to another in any relationship it is hard to resist.
This is so true. And a beautiful knowing for me to take to every relationship I have.
Very true Andrew, no matter who is standing in front of us, or who we are in relationship with.
I love this Lucy “no natter who is standing in front of us”… presenting love is indeed a game changer.
It is so true Andrew – ‘in the end what we all want most is to love and be loved’. As it seems that all that is in this world is a result of the love we feel and share or the love we have separated from and seek. We ultimately are at ease and most natural when feel free to Love ourselves and freely share this love with others. A great reminder without a doubt.
Well said – what Johanna is expressing here is something that money can’t buy and it is the most precious commodity on earth: to love and to be loved. Plain and simple.
Love is simple. Must be amazing to live this evolution of love with another every day.
I agree Monika Love is simple in itself but in our relationships we have a lot of complication, patterns and protection to let go of before we can get to this simplicity. My feeling is that this takes dedication, commitment and a willingness to understand each other.
So true Gabriele love is our true essence. It cant be bought or sold or made up, its who we are.
I agree that there is nothing greater on earth than Love – simple.
So true Deborah their is nothing greater on earth than love…..it is so powerful it can change thé world and it all starts with us.
Hear, hear Deborah, beautifully said and it is indeed simple, powerful and accessible.
Yes very true Gabriele and we are really at a point in the world where we have to stop and question whether what we are championing and investing in actually supports a true foundation of love.
Our world in many ways is moving further from living this in all our relationships and people are screaming out for connection and love.
True Kristy. The scream is very loud especially when we look at the extremes and extensiveness humanity go to in their actions to get attention and recognition. Many give all to be seen for these poor seconds compared to the love that is available. For me, this shows that humanity desperately craves love.
That’s right Gabriele, so true. To me, Love is priceless, more precious than anything we try to obtain, most sought after and most powerful. We crave for it when we’ve misplace it and feel completely lost when this happens but love is always there, it never leaves us, it is within all of us to be connected to. We are all deeply precious and powerful.
Beautifully said Andrew, ‘when we truly present love to another in any relationship it is hard to resist.’
Very true Andrew. When we bring all of our love to the table in all of our relationships nothing can stand in the way of that. Love wins all hands.
Well said Andrew. So simple and it can be applied to all our relationships.
Yes Andrew, and how awesome that we have been able to re-connect to what true love actually is, thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine’s truly loving support; that love is not pandering, nor being ‘nice’, nor ‘I do for you so you do for me’…..none of that. It is pure and asking ourselves and each other to simply live from the heart, allowing ourselves to feel what’s there, and to express that without holding back. Calling somebody up, when we feel they are holding back is truly loving, and when we have the basis of knowing who we are, we can appreciate that loving gift and grow as a person and in love.
I agree Andrew, what we all want in this world is to be loved and to love, to be love, and when love is presented it is irresistible.
This is so true Andrew. And I have found from observing people and myself that I have noticed we use our hurts to resist love. We crave for love the most in our lives, yet many of us choose to use our hurts to block what we truly want and who we truly are. So, by choosing to heal our hurts there can be no blockage, it simply allows love to flow and express in its full power.
It’s beautiful that in your appreciation of your husband you are appreciating yourself and your”..deepening committment to living and being the love that I am in full.”
Appreciation of the deepening love that you share with each other takes the love and appreciation to an ever deepening level. Love without end.
It is very inspiring for me to read about a relationship that is working on deepening love, consistently. Wow, it is so different to the relationships what is the norm these days. Johanna and her husband should be interviewed and on TV to share their experiences with the world.
Monika I agree. Lets have Johanna and her husband on the news and social media and on the cover of magazines inspiring all with the love that they share.
This is news the world needs to hear about and they are the shining STARS 🙂 🙂
It is so different Monika. The normal standard on relationships seems to be how often people fight- the less the better. But, to make a relationship based around how much love you both share is amazing. A beautiful contrast to the norm.
Mary that is beautiful appreciation of the deepening of love with each other takes it to a deeper level, love that never ends just deepens and blossoms.
I agree Mary. I definitely feel this. This depth and appreciation is also there to be had in all the relationships I have. Many years ago I did not know this was possible and it has been lovely experiencing it.
A beautiful comment Matts, ‘that between people there is only love, as a forever potential,’ it is up to us then if we embrace and confirm this love or allow problems to distract from this.
Gorgeous blog Johanna, and a powerfully message/reminder for me today, that our Soul is always calling us to be more love. Makes so much sense for the challenging relationship I have with someone at this moment where I sway from accepting and loving them where they are, to feeling rejected and then my heart closes. I am receiving much support to deepen my connection with my body and to ‘be more love’. Thankyou Johanna.
jacqmcfadden04 it is interesting how often those closest to us can trouble us the most! I have found that if I have any expectations of another or want things to be a certain way, inevitably they won’t be and then I will usually get frustrated and resent the person. Whereas when I see them for who they are, just perhaps not making the most loving choices I can stay detached, observe what is going on for them and reflect love. Otherwise I simply enjoin what they are in and they then have no reflection of love, so no pulling to come out of it and make more loving choices. After all who am I to judge as I know I have made some pretty bad choices!
Wise words James.. ‘Whereas when I see them for who they are, just perhaps not making the most loving choices I can stay detached, observe what is going on for them and reflect love.’
Spot on James, thanks for the reminder. Reflect Love.
Beautiful point James. When we are invested in another being a certain way because of our needs this is incredibly imposing and we all lose out.
It’s a big ‘ouch’ admitting we need things to be a certain way Michelle! Admitting hurts is another one and it’s a bit like untangling a ball of wool but the efforts are worth the results. A gorgeous and inspiring blog Johanna.
Untangling that ball of wool! So true Lorraine. Worth the results 🙂
Yes when I impose my needs onto another I lose sight of the person and who they truly are as I’ve already done so with myself. We all lose out big time!
I have found this too Karin, when I am lost ALL is lost, so it is my responsibility to myself to not to lose myself in the first place… not always easy as there are still those niggling reactions that pop up now and then, but if I catch them and call them out for what they are, then I can bring myself back to me again and move on, and that way everyone else gets to move on with me, marvellous!
This stemming from our need for us to be something rather than feeling and accepting ourselves for who we are, what we feel and where we are at. The more I work on this the less I need or expect of others.
James I certainly find I want those close to me to be a certain way-aka do for me what is my responsiblity, or not reflect choices I have or am making that aren’t loving but I don’t want to acknowledge.
When I accept and appreciate myself I accept them and appreciate them too. And, like you say, reflect love so they have an unimpeded choice to choose love if they so choose. And if they don’t I don’t love them or myself any less. Work in progress is this for me.
Karen, super point, when someone close to you does not choose love, that does not mean that I love them or myself any less….. yes, work in progress for me too, and even as I am writing this, I can feel that it is love and only love that can bring us home, and as James shared, all we have to do is keep reflecting love, so the other has that choice.
True James. And it’s interesting how our pictures and expectations of love can throw us out of our natural and observational state into one where we are no longer being or reflecting the love that we are, but investing in something else.
Spot on Kylie and James – holding a picture inevitably leads to it being smashed if not enormous investment to achieve it and maintain it. Being Love on the other hand is without effort, nourishes our whole being, creates spaciousness and has zero investment in an outcome.
Very true James, those expectations that we can have of others are a real killer. But the expectations are my own needs that I am not living myself. Super powerful (and a little ouchy) when they are reflected back and we don’t react and just feel it.
Jennifer that was and has been a valuable lesson for me, that all that is presented and reflected is not to crush me, but rather it is there to feel it all and NOT react…… observe and not absorb, and then Bring More Love.
It is only through developing a loving relationship with myself that I am less crushed by expectations – expectations that I have of others. Overtime, through loving myself and speaking more honestly, there is a space created where I can see and observe more what is happening and actually have understanding for what is occurring.
James I feel this too. Truly observing another can deepen the quality of the relationship: we see and feel more about the other. And when love is the only reflection we offer, they drop their defenses and open up. We walk together as equals.
Thank you James for your supporting words which are very useful to me right now. I can get very frustrated with my children and often react. Not having any attachment to where they choose to be will give me the opportunity to focus on where I am at, feel my love and reflect love to them instead of frustration and anger.
Truly wise James – yes our expectations blind us completely and we often reject people on the basis of them. A great reminder to stay detached and observe and choose Love, thank you.
Indeed I am frequently reminded how my expectations of others and how the world should be is just a way of keeping people out. It just does not work especially as it pushes people away.
This is something that I have come to understand and appreciate as well James. These expectations that we place on another is already suffocating the relationship which allows no room for love. As you beautifully said being Love and allow others to be is the most loving thing we can do to reflect the Love that we are from and then they have to the option of coming back. In this you can’t judge as you say – everyone is on their own journey and that is the beauty of life.
Well said Natalie. I am realising that we actually place expectations on ourselves before we then place them on others. It feels even more awful to realise how restrictive and contracting such expectations are when we do place them on ourselves and others.
Absolutely James, there are so many games we play with our loved ones and it is easy to get caught up in the right and wrong game or the ‘but I want’ state of being. I am learning still everyday how easy we impose on one another and how this does not support the other to come out of whatever pattern or reaction they have gone into. Coming back to my own love and letting the other be exactly where they are while reflecting the way to go is what eventually will make for the most amazing relationships.
I agree James, it’s so supportive for me to remember that I actually really appreciate that person, and I appreciate the fact that they are in my life. If they reflect something I may not like, it feels absolutely awful if I then judge that and consequently enjoin, let myself drop. When I choose to reflect and express love instead, it helps us both to feel closer through this, rather than putting distance between us.
Heartfelt thankyou James, I just read your comment/response, it made so much sense and has put things into perspective for me, your words were deeply supportive, especially the reminder: After all who am I to judge as I know I have made some pretty bad choices! Once again thank-you!
‘ After all who am I to judge as I know I have made some pretty bad choices!’, there are times when we reflect love for others and there are times when we need the reflection of love. We are all in this together. Great comment James.
We are so all in this together. I love what you have written Lisa. We are all reflecting and receiving reflections and the more loving they are the more we all grow.
I love this too Vicky ‘We are all in this together.’ The more we give, the more there is to give and receive. I have an image of us walking side by side together as equals in all our relationships.
Hello James Nicholson and as you are saying, looking at the expectations and appreciate who they truly are. As Johanna Smith is speaking about in the blog, appreciation changes the ‘game’. So often we can get caught up in the ‘do this and do that’ without just simply seeing and appreciating there is a person in front of us.
Very true James, if I have expectations or pictures of how I want someone to be that can lead to problems, whereas, ‘when I see them for who they are, just perhaps not making the most loving choices I can stay detached, observe what is going on for them and reflect love.’ Wise words, only by reflecting love can another choose to be love also, ‘I simply enjoin what they are in and they then have no reflection of love, so no pulling to come out of it and make more loving choices.’
We can only start to make new choices if we have the awareness that we do have a choice in the first place, so well done James for recognising the fact that you DO have a choice and however many times you have made those bad choices it is never too late to change them. It is also very liberating to let go and allow other people to make their own choices, without any expectations from us as to how we would like outcomes to be, this empowers all of us to learn from our ‘mistakes’ because in reality they are not mistakes, just different choices.
This is very true James, I have the same, if I have any expectations of another or want things to be a certain way, inevitably they won’t be and I will usually get frustrated with the person; a learning for me at the moment is to love people no matter what their choices, I can feel how having expectations is damaging to relationships, it feels wonderful when I simply allow people to be and to love them.
Ģreat reminder james.
James we have to leave ourselves first in order to go into any kind of reaction with another. When we are adrift then we can literally end up anywhere.
James I love what you share: “After all who am I to judge as I know I have made some pretty bad choices!” I have to admit that I too had also made bad choices and therefore I do not want to throw the first stone so to speak. For me it was also a great healing as the people around me did not judge me for these kind of bad choices and instead stay steady loving me. That helped me enormous to be not so judgmental with myself – hence now I am not so judgmental with others as well.
I love what you share here James, and it is really spot on for me to read this now, ‘ Whereas when I see them for who they are, just perhaps not making the most loving choices I can stay detached, observe what is going on for them and reflect love.’ Thank you.
Beautiful words James. I can understand that- the people we are closer to we tend to have an idea on how they are meant to be and do. This would cause so many issues as you try and place them in a box that suits your needs.
I love the last line James “After all who am I to judge as I know I have made some pretty bad choices!” Understanding and seeing how we are all pretty much the same is the most amazing tool to be loving with ourselves and others.
Me too James, ‘After all who am I to judge as I know I have made some pretty bad choices!’ I can often get caught up in being high and mighty and almost looking down on anothers choices, but i have not always made the most loving choices myself and am by no means perfect in how I behave, it is great for me to remember this and be more understanding and to remain loving, rather than get frustrated and shut done when i feel someone is making an unloving choice and like you say James if we shut down there is no loving reflection there for another.
Great advice James, to not’ have expectations of another or want things to be a certain way”.
I know when I do and it doesn’t happen I get frustrated and angry and resent the other person.
I am now learning to come to an understanding of where others are at, and their choices reflecting this.
By not reacting or wanting something from them, I can accept and love them for who they are.
And yes, I agree- who am I to judge another when I too have make some pretty bad choices in the past.
I totally relate to this James. It’s also worth understanding that that person can transform and make new choices when they like and from what Johanna shared appreciation surely supports that whereas judgement can crush it.
Thank you Johanna very inspiring to read this beautiful blog appreciating you husband. I enjoyed so much seeing the photo of you two and couldn’t but look again and again at the love you share with another.
I agree Janinaelisa, don’t they look beautiful, truly an inspiration of how living in a loving relationship can be when you are willing to be honest and share living in love and joy together and express openly to each other.
I agree Janinaelisa. I just love reading people sharing the love they have for another. It is actually quite rare thing in this world for people to be so open about their love. More please.
Yes Vicky, it is a very rare thing for people to express their love so openly. It is more common for people to talk about sex than it is to talk about or show love. This blog is very refreshing.
I too Vicky love reading about people sharing their love for each other. It is indeed rare and blogs like this are very much needed in a society where divorce rates are increasing, showing us there is another way.
I also really enjoy how Johanna has shared her love and appreciation for her husband in such an honest and open way. It does not gush an emotional outpour yet a very deep honouring of what she appreciates about him. It is inspiring to hear another speak in such a way.
I love this too Vicky. But wonder why it is so rare for people to openly share ‘the love they have for another’. I know for me when I have held back from expressing how awesome someone is, is because I’m waiting for them to show themselves as fully perfect and trustworthy, before they receive my full appreciation. This is a wonderful insight as it is showing me some ideals and beliefs that I use as protection to avoid getting hurt. To express love in truth and in full you have to open your heart in full. I look forward to practising this more with this new awareness.
I agree, the photo was super beautiful.
It’s beautiful and truly amazing that this call never ends and always deepens.
Johanna you both are blessed for having each other to experience a true level of relationship, very inspiring.
As are we Monika, to see and feel others developing relationships and showing and sharing it openly helps and inspires me with my own relationships ????????
Appreciation is key!
Just awesome Johanna, a deeply touching blog you wrote with such felt love and appreciation, very inspiring to truly appreciate ones self and let this deepen within our self and all we are in relationship with.
Yes, I agree Johnanna, it feels really beautiful and very joyful that ‘our soul is always calling us to be more love’. Not because there is something wrong with us, but because love is what we are, love is who we are, and love is where we’re originally from. We are loved so much.
Yes, we are always being offered the opportunity to be more love, which first starts with love for self, which naturally leads to love with and for others.
this constant opportunity we have to be more love (a choice) always amazes me. it really never seem to end…
Agreed Alexandria, it’s amazing how much love can be shared and constantly deepened. It’s never ends… Or platos or stops.
Loving ourselves is loving everyone else.
Absolutely Oliver, a truth we forget when we make it about the other first.
Bingo Oliver that is exactly what True Love is and with this there is no need what so ever from anyone else simply enjoying each others fullness. Bring it on.
Neediness really doesn’t allow for love and if you get your needs met by another and think that’s love you’re missing out on something way more precious.
Naturally so. Without loving ourselves there’s no room to love another.
I agree Oliver, this is a revelation. And the livingness of this truth has started a revolution, thanks to Serge Benhayon.
True Angela, when we are loving with and towards our self, we cannot but be loving with and towards another.
I’ve discovered the most beautiful thing when it comes to relationships, be it with friends or a partner, that between people there is only love, as a forever potential, what comes in our way is us focusing on other things that just that. So when there is problems we focus on that instead of confirming the love that is already there awaiting.
I love what you share here Matts with “love is already there awaiting”. There is such an allowance and beholding in love, no room for judgement.
Beautifully expressed Matts, . . ‘ that between people there is only love, as a forever potential,’ I agree we often need reminding that this love is ‘already there awaiting’ when tensions arise in relationships.
Well put Matts. The love that exists between two people, when felt into, is always there, but we have a rather negative tendency to focus on the things we allow in that get in the way of this. In my most intimate and close relationships it simply doesn’t make sense when we fall out and stop expressing love because the love is always there underneath it all. I have simply chosen to express and get caught up in something outside of this!
It’s true what you share Matts, “that between people there is only love, as a forever potential.” We can get so hooked in the other things that aren’t that. By focusing on love and developing it, makes it a million times easier to work through the sticky stuff.
Rachel Love certainly does help us through the ‘sticky stuff’ and lets be honest that ‘sticky stuff’ can be rather ugly sometimes. When we remain open and allow the other person to be, bring some understanding of where they are coming from, reflect to where you are and what you are bringing then Love has a grand space to support you both to evolve on from what is not Love. Works every time!
I agree Rachel, when the focus is on love, we do not loose ourselves in the “sticky stuff”.
That is good point Matts, we can easily let ideals and beliefs come in about what a loving relationship has to look like when all the time love is there equally for all of us just waiting for us to choose
That’s so beautiful Matts, and it is, just a choice to re-connect to that love, or to choose to give power and focus on the ‘issue’. Interestingly when we are able to re-connect to the love that’s there, the ‘issue’, is just that… and it can get sorted easily, with understanding and truth, and no compromise needed. It really is simple.
How beautiful and freeing it is to realise that Love is there the whole time – there is never not Love between us as too, we are never not Love.
Why is it that we choose to express less than the Love we are and allow less than the Love we know between people?
How healing it is to live the love we are and to honour love in all relations with others.
A beautiful comment Matts, ‘that between people there is only love, as a forever potential,’ it is up to us then if we embrace and confirm this love or allow problems to distract from this.
So true Matts, we find it easier to find faults in another than to see the love that they truly are.
Wow Matts, ‘confirming the love that is already there awaiting’. Not waiting for it to show itself and prove itself as I have been known to do before I allow myself to appreciate it, but to confirm the love that is awaiting, in the knowing that love is ever present, within us and surrounding us and supporting us all of the time. Oh my goodness, how delicious is that.
What you share here Jacqueline is so powerful and I am inspired by your openness. These are the times (when the challenges come up in our relationships, when we are being pulled to be more love) that we need to ask for support, or simply allow ourselves to feel that its already there and we only need to let it in. I too am experiencing something challenging at present that is really just asking me to be more, and although I have struggled and resisted feeling all that I have to in order to do this, I have just now started to surrender and allow the support thats needed. I can also see how that support is always there, it is just me who at times chooses to not accept it.
It is a beautiful thing knowing there is more of me, and more love to be shared in surrendering to this part – knowing that once through,, there will be more asked, and then more, and then more and so on….. the never-ending expansion of love.
Anna, I love what you have written here. How loving and beautiful is it for us to feel that asking for support is a deeply loving thing for us to do. There is great strength in asking for support and knowing who can truly offer that support. When it is seen like this it can never come from feeling lesser, but equality in knowing who we are and what is needed next.
Anna, what I have begun to understand is that our Soul knows what is ahead of us, as in, our Soul knows what we will find challenging… thus the support is already in place, and I have also found that when I close my heart because it feels too painful I no longer have access to that support – whereas all I have to do is stay open, do not close my heart as I have done countless times before, keep my heart open is what I am being asked and as I do, the support that is there for me is unlimited… that is how much our Soul loves us.
I love what you say here above, the soul knows what we will find challenging …thus support is already in place. Its awesome to know we have all this awesome support, but I need to remind myself I must have an Open heart for the support to come through at those challenging times.
This is a great revelation jacqmcfadden04 – I love that you are open to exploring and accepting the soul – that perhaps what we think is not actually what is needed, and the soul is already 10 steps ahead. It is a great support for us to just allow and live in the moment rather than trying to control the future.
It is an illusion to think that we are on our own. Surrendering is all that is needed as indeed, the support is already there.
I love what you share here, Jacqueline, and it’s a great reminder that we are not looking for a perfect relationship with special someone – all relationships, all interactions are here for us to grow in our expression of who we truly are.
This really blows the lid on the ideals we are fed from young with their picture perfect fairy tale endings.
What a lot of pressure this places on another to be the hero or heroine, to live up to another expectation, fulfil a role and be without issues or tension. We have been fed a lie in looking for that ‘perfect relationship’ that keeps us from growing or recognising our patterns which prevents great learning of ourselves and others, for we become reduced to searching for an elusive picture which can never complete or fulfil us at the absolute expense of Love, our relationship with ourselves, ongoing learning and evolution.
Exactly Deborah, who needs fairy tales when one can choose to experience true loving relationships.
True Deborah – we have it all backwards which again shows that we have misinterpreted relationships so that there is always a tension and an imbalance.
But what I now know to be a true relationship is the complete opposite. That it should continue to deepen and develop, be equal, be allowing and honouring of each other – and that it starts with working on ourselves.
Whilst we seek outside of ourselves for the perfect relationship we fail to appreciate our own quality and what we already have.
So true Deborah and when we appreciate our qualities, we can then appreciate another and what they bring.