Who would have thought that relationships and their ripples would have such a profound impact on life, everywhere?
Relationships present an opportunity to evolve in one’s own relationship, along with all others equally, as it is the consistency and willingness to keep going deeper with oneself and others that keeps us evolving. It’s our relationship with self-love, and the level of care with which we handle ourselves and move our bodies, that allows us to naturally be this way with others without the need to try.
Some may say they have forgotten how to be in a relationship, especially if they have not had a partner for a while, but actually from my own experience we are always in relationships, not only romantic relationships. What matters is how we treat, care for and respect ourselves, as this is what we are then able to bring to all our relationships with others.
It was not until I brought my attention inwards to self-reflect that I really started to get a sense of what this is all about. My life consisted of focussing on my work first and foremost, and so long as I was able to fit in everything I had to do, along with the ‘to do’ list I always had with me, then I was managing life. But because I was so exhausted there was a limit to the depth of quality I could bring to all areas of my life. So clearly things needed to change.
Having lived a busy, hectic life with work, I started to create quiet time – ‘down time’ I called it – that helped me to stop and really consider that the way I had been with myself was not what it could be.
I decided to make my life simpler by making choices to go to bed early, wake up early, eat healthily, rest, swim, all with the awareness that I needed to be more gentle with myself.
After building a relationship with myself in this way, I started to realise that being in relationships is not as one might think, nor what one might be initially open to.
And so to the ripple effects…
Take for example: you wake up in the morning and you are still carrying something unresolved from the night before and maybe even the night before that. How do you think or feel your movements will be with yourself while you get ready in the morning? Possibly anxious, angry, sad, confused, unsure, disturbed, out of sorts etc…?
So what about if you live with another, how would you be with them at this time? More than likely the same, or trying to hide that this is going on, or you may feel the need to release it on to them.
What are the ripple effects of your chosen movements on this particular morning? Most people would naturally pick up on how you’re being and moving, and from there they would try and help you, take it on, try and avoid you etc…
I have experienced being on the receiving end of this, but I have also been the one acting in this way. What I have observed are the ripples that this has on my day and then on all those around me – whether I have received it or created it, the results are the same.
So let’s turn this around: what would the day look like if we started free of all these emotions, and instead were full of joy? Would we enjoy getting ready and spending more time on ourselves perhaps, preparing for the day to come, enjoying connecting to whomever we see in our day?
This is now becoming my normal way of living. I start full of energy, wanting to get stuck into my day, loving getting ready, while really enjoying connecting with myself and others before leaving for a full day’s work that feels effortless and easy, making me feel like I can handle anything thrown at me.
The ripple effect here allows others to do the same, by showering an energy that reflects to them a different way of being that can inspire them to let go of negative thoughts and emotions. Children can often be seen to respond to this rejuvenating way of being. We all can feel that the energy in a whole room can change as the positive ripples are felt, so why would we not choose this way of living?
Changing ill behaviours into loving, respectful and harmonious ones can be challenging, especially if we are not willing to see that some, if not all of our behaviours, are in fact creating a ripple effect on our own lives and on society.
We need to create stop moments in our day to really consider how we are truly living on a moment to moment basis and the effect that this has. If someone had sat me down and told me that by being a certain way we create a different ripple effect, I would not have understood, and most probably would not have seen the importance of being responsible in all my relationships.
The willingness to see how we live and the commitment to consistently be honest does create ripples in our relationships. After starting to establish a certain quality, i.e. living with a deeper level of self-worth, respect and gentleness with myself, I have then been able to bring those qualities to all others and begin to build more intimate relationships all round.
By Amina Tumi, 36 yrs, Hair & Beauty Salon Owner
Further Reading:
Leaving Things to the Last Minute
Starting With Self-Care – Service in the Hospitality Industry
Understanding in relationships – how judgement contributes to abuse
517 Comments
Everything counts up to the smallest movement which can be how I express a certain word. People around me can feel it. I know I can feel it. I can even feel it – if I allow and embrace it – when others respond or react to my movements. It all comes down to taking responsibility for my choices and the movements I make.
We live in a world of energy and our every movement is determined by a specific energy we choose to align to and the quality of our movements certainly ripples out beyond what our eyes can see. When we understand this, we will also understand the importance of energetic responsibility.
I can really relate to the example of how you take yourself to bed sets up how you are in the morning with yourself and others. And say the morning isn’t great that doesn’t mean I have to wait until bedtime to correct it but in any moment am honest and turn back around to caring for myself.
I love Amina how you say you made your life simpler by going to be earlier, waking up earlier and eating healthier, simple choices have such a profound effect on our lives.
This is wonderful to read. I remember when I used to wake up and dread every part of the day. I wanted ‘duvet’ days everyday and had to force myself out into the world. I may not always wake up rested but after reconnecting with myself I really look forward to what the day holds and all the lessons it’ll present.
When we notice how we carry things on from one day to the next, we are able to see how there is more to this than we may have originally thought. It shows how the energy can stay lingering with us if we don’t choose to observe and catch it and change very simply our way of being. It can feel like we are imprisoned but we make our own prison.