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Everyday Livingness
Relationships, Self-Relationship 473 Comments on Relationship Ripples

Relationship Ripples

By Amina Tumi · On February 27, 2018 ·Photography by Joseph Barker

Who would have thought that relationships and their ripples would have such a profound impact on life, everywhere?

Relationships present an opportunity to evolve in one’s own relationship, along with all others equally, as it is the consistency and willingness to keep going deeper with oneself and others that keeps us evolving. It’s our relationship with self-love, and the level of care with which we handle ourselves and move our bodies, that allows us to naturally be this way with others without the need to try.

Some may say they have forgotten how to be in a relationship, especially if they have not had a partner for a while, but actually from my own experience we are always in relationships, not only romantic relationships. What matters is how we treat, care for and respect ourselves, as this is what we are then able to bring to all our relationships with others.

It was not until I brought my attention inwards to self-reflect that I really started to get a sense of what this is all about. My life consisted of focussing on my work first and foremost, and so long as I was able to fit in everything I had to do, along with the ‘to do’ list I always had with me, then I was managing life. But because I was so exhausted there was a limit to the depth of quality I could bring to all areas of my life. So clearly things needed to change.

Having lived a busy, hectic life with work, I started to create quiet time – ‘down time’ I called it – that helped me to stop and really consider that the way I had been with myself was not what it could be.

I decided to make my life simpler by making choices to go to bed early, wake up early, eat healthily, rest, swim, all with the awareness that I needed to be more gentle with myself.

After building a relationship with myself in this way, I started to realise that being in relationships is not as one might think, nor what one might be initially open to.

And so to the ripple effects…

Take for example: you wake up in the morning and you are still carrying something unresolved from the night before and maybe even the night before that. How do you think or feel your movements will be with yourself while you get ready in the morning? Possibly anxious, angry, sad, confused, unsure, disturbed, out of sorts etc…?

So what about if you live with another, how would you be with them at this time? More than likely the same, or trying to hide that this is going on, or you may feel the need to release it on to them.

What are the ripple effects of your chosen movements on this particular morning? Most people would naturally pick up on how you’re being and moving, and from there they would try and help you, take it on, try and avoid you etc…

I have experienced being on the receiving end of this, but I have also been the one acting in this way. What I have observed are the ripples that this has on my day and then on all those around me – whether I have received it or created it, the results are the same.

So let’s turn this around: what would the day look like if we started free of all these emotions, and instead were full of joy? Would we enjoy getting ready and spending more time on ourselves perhaps, preparing for the day to come, enjoying connecting to whomever we see in our day?

This is now becoming my normal way of living. I start full of energy, wanting to get stuck into my day, loving getting ready, while really enjoying connecting with myself and others before leaving for a full day’s work that feels effortless and easy, making me feel like I can handle anything thrown at me.

The ripple effect here allows others to do the same, by showering an energy that reflects to them a different way of being that can inspire them to let go of negative thoughts and emotions. Children can often be seen to respond to this rejuvenating way of being. We all can feel that the energy in a whole room can change as the positive ripples are felt, so why would we not choose this way of living?

Changing ill behaviours into loving, respectful and harmonious ones can be challenging, especially if we are not willing to see that some, if not all of our behaviours, are in fact creating a ripple effect on our own lives and on society.

We need to create stop moments in our day to really consider how we are truly living on a moment to moment basis and the effect that this has. If someone had sat me down and told me that by being a certain way we create a different ripple effect, I would not have understood, and most probably would not have seen the importance of being responsible in all my relationships.

The willingness to see how we live and the commitment to consistently be honest does create ripples in our relationships. After starting to establish a certain quality, i.e. living with a deeper level of self-worth, respect and gentleness with myself, I have then been able to bring those qualities to all others and begin to build more intimate relationships all round.

By Amina Tumi, 36 yrs, Hair & Beauty Salon Owner

Further Reading:
Leaving Things to the Last Minute
Starting With Self-Care – Service in the Hospitality Industry
Understanding in relationships – how judgement contributes to abuse

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Amina Tumi

As a Londoner since 1981, born and bread one could say I am an expert of it, how I am still uncovering the magic that oh so exists! My long term passion/career in hairdressing, now all of 21 years has and continues to show me how I love people, being creative and how I will never stop.

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473 Comments

  • Mary says: February 10, 2020 at 6:36 pm

    I had a situation recently where my body was asking for rest, I felt slightly under par. As always I had so much to do and I could have pushed past this communication from my body but I didn’t. I made the decision to rest longer in bed and to take the day off at an easy pace and I felt the need to just soak in the bath. And interestingly it was the bath that supported me to rest deeply. I added in the salts and bath foam and lay in a deep bath of hot water for ages in the semi dark. This ‘down time’ as you call it Amina was just what my body was calling for. As the next day I was back up to full strength firing on all cylinders. If we listen to our bodies and what they are communicating to us and work with them rather than against them then I feel we will lead healthier lives as we won’t need stimulants to get through to the end of the day.

    Reply
  • Vicky Cooke says: November 23, 2019 at 7:31 am

    ‘but actually from my own experience we are always in relationships, not only romantic relationships. What matters is how we treat, care for and respect ourselves, as this is what we are then able to bring to all our relationships with others’ Absolutely. I love how the more I surrender to the love within the more open and all my relationships across the board are the same. There is a consistency with love that is so beautifull when we allow it.

    Reply
  • Mary Adler says: October 13, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    The ripple effects of how we are choosing to live are felt by others and if they are inspired to be more aware of how they are living then the ripples are magnified.

    Reply
  • Leigh Matson says: August 29, 2019 at 12:57 am

    Our relationships with others are an opportunity to evolve our relationship with ourselves which then changes how we are with others. I can relate to this as many a time I have learnt about myself from the many relationships in my life.

    Reply
  • Viktoria says: August 28, 2019 at 4:40 pm

    Something very wise to ponder on, do we wake up still carrying the problems from the night before? Is it worth it? Why do we think that going through the motion and having to analyse & understand everything will bring some kind of resolution? It does the opposite, dwelling in thoughts & indulging in trying to fix it brings nothing more than a bigger hole that we need to climb out of eventually.

    Reply
  • LE says: August 26, 2019 at 5:06 am

    I look to make my lifer simpler every day as I know the power of simplicity. Life flows when we cut out the unnecessary complication.

    Reply
  • Lucy Dahill says: August 16, 2019 at 4:56 am

    To live thinking we have no control over our behaviours is not bringing responsibility to what we know we can live, it is living in a negative and disempowered way. A much more empowered way to have that sentence is ‘we are responsible for our behaviours and therefore have an opportunity to embrace every moment, to consider and be aware of the ripple effect of each behaviour, and live accordingly’.

    Reply
  • Greg Barnes says: August 13, 2019 at 4:26 am

    This is great what you have shared Amina, and if I can add an app. and that is appreciation of all our relationships starting with self and exploring the intimacy we can have with everyone we connect with.

    Reply
  • Vicky Cooke says: August 3, 2019 at 5:13 am

    If we are willing then yes absolutely relationships offer us all an opportunity to evolve ✨

    Reply
    • Greg Barnes says: August 13, 2019 at 4:40 am

      Thank you Vicky, and adding appreciation serves when we are confirming others who we also appreciate and then live in the authority of appreciating our essences, then our evolution is guarantied.

      Reply
  • Ariana says: March 17, 2019 at 10:16 am

    I love how the ripples start with us and keep expanding outwards, it reminds us all of the impact we have in this world.

    Reply
    • Vicky Cooke says: August 3, 2019 at 5:14 am

      Yes and of the responsibility we have!

      Reply
  • Ariana says: March 5, 2019 at 8:44 am

    “I can handle anything thrown at me.” And what a feeling – with no attachment to any outcomes or pictures, for who knows what awaits us.

    Reply
  • Caroline Francis says: February 28, 2019 at 6:20 pm

    Make life about the connection to self and the deepening of the unfolding of love within then we can handle everything that comes our way. It is a commitment to oneself however it is this commitment that is the answer to every relationship.

    Reply
    • Viktoria says: August 28, 2019 at 4:41 pm

      Yes, very beautiful – in committing to ourselves, the energy we carry ourselves in, we commit to everybody else equally.

      Reply
  • Lorraine Wellman says: February 17, 2019 at 4:03 pm

    All relationships are affected by the quality of relationship we have with ourselves, how we are with ourselves, ‘What matters is how we treat, care for and respect ourselves, as this is what we are then able to bring to all our relationships with others.’

    Reply
  • Leigh Matson says: February 1, 2019 at 7:14 pm

    One of the really cool things I’ve come to learn about relationships is how they can be a mirror of how I am with myself. I have and continue to learn so much from this fact of life.

    Reply
  • LE says: January 29, 2019 at 8:34 am

    If we were to make just one choice to truly change the ripple effects are deeply felt in many corners of the universe.

    Reply
  • Vicky Cooke says: January 18, 2019 at 6:11 pm

    We definitely do need to have stop moments in our day to tune in with how we are, where we are at and how we are moving particularly during a era where everything is so busy. And absolutely all of our movements ripple into all of our relationships and really we are in relationships with everyone so that is a lot of people we are affecting in how we live.

    Reply
  • Ariana says: January 14, 2019 at 8:44 am

    The ripples we make can be so very different, depending on the quality we choose to be in for ourselves.

    Reply
  • Rebecca says: January 13, 2019 at 5:26 pm

    Amina, I agree with this; ‘We need to create stop moments in our day to really consider how we are truly living on a moment to moment basis and the effect that this has.’ I find that if I have stop moments in my day then this allows me to come back to me, to settle back into my body if I have gone into any busyness or rushing.

    Reply
    • Lucy Dahill says: August 16, 2019 at 4:58 am

      Yes, having stop moment checks whether we are anticipating things as well which, if we don’t feel equipped to manage them, feeds anxiety. So stop moments are really important.

      Reply
  • Rebecca says: December 30, 2018 at 6:04 pm

    ‘I decided to make my life simpler by making choices to go to bed early, wake up early, eat healthily, rest, swim, all with the awareness that I needed to be more gentle with myself.’ I love the simplicity and practicality of what you are sharing here.

    Reply
  • Annelies van Haastrecht says: December 5, 2018 at 3:14 pm

    A great reminder this morning as the days before this day has been very hectic and busy. I can feel I have a choice to move in a way that is selfloving and caring and bring this quality to all I will meet which gives them the opportunity to join me or go in this drive of getting the job done and feed others to do or stay the same. It is all up to me, always!

    Reply
  • Sandra Vicary says: November 29, 2018 at 9:00 am

    Everything we do, every move we make, and every time we speak we are making ripples that will in some way affect another.

    Reply
    • Lorraine Wellman says: February 17, 2019 at 4:00 pm

      Yes, the quality we live in and move with, is felt by many, as its ripples spread far and wide.

      Reply
  • Zofia says: November 10, 2018 at 4:26 pm

    The relationship we have with ourselves through our bodies, from a quality perspective, is in every type of relationship we have with everything that’s in our life simply because what we hold within our own body is how we relate and is in our touch too whether we touch a person or an object and whether that’s physically or energetically.

    Reply
  • Sandra Vicary says: November 3, 2018 at 8:22 am

    What this highlights is that we have a choice in every moment to either stay in touch with who we are and what we are feeling, or not. There is no in between – it is literally like having a switch inside us which is either on, or off.

    Reply
  • Elaine Arthey says: October 19, 2018 at 6:32 am

    So true Gill we are the jailed and the jailer all in one…..and what joy begins to bubble when we set ourselves free.

    Reply
  • Caroline Reineke says: October 17, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    Everything counts up to the smallest movement which can be how I express a certain word. People around me can feel it. I know I can feel it. I can even feel it – if I allow and embrace it – when others respond or react to my movements. It all comes down to taking responsibility for my choices and the movements I make.

    Reply
  • Chan Ly says: September 28, 2018 at 5:20 am

    We live in a world of energy and our every movement is determined by a specific energy we choose to align to and the quality of our movements certainly ripples out beyond what our eyes can see. When we understand this, we will also understand the importance of energetic responsibility.

    Reply
  • Leigh Matson says: September 19, 2018 at 8:17 pm

    I can really relate to the example of how you take yourself to bed sets up how you are in the morning with yourself and others. And say the morning isn’t great that doesn’t mean I have to wait until bedtime to correct it but in any moment am honest and turn back around to caring for myself.

    Reply
  • Sam says: September 13, 2018 at 6:29 am

    I love Amina how you say you made your life simpler by going to be earlier, waking up earlier and eating healthier, simple choices have such a profound effect on our lives.

    Reply
  • Karin says: September 2, 2018 at 3:56 am

    This is wonderful to read. I remember when I used to wake up and dread every part of the day. I wanted ‘duvet’ days everyday and had to force myself out into the world. I may not always wake up rested but after reconnecting with myself I really look forward to what the day holds and all the lessons it’ll present.

    Reply
    • Annelies van Haastrecht says: December 5, 2018 at 3:08 pm

      I can relate to wanting ‘duvet’ days Karin and it makes me smile now as this has changed so much in my life and one of them is building a more loving relationship with myself and my body step by step.

      Reply
    • Lucy Dahill says: August 16, 2019 at 5:00 am

      And that is such an important comment because it is not about perfection but a willingness to invest in ourselves and therefore all others.

      Reply
  • Sarah Flenley says: August 31, 2018 at 6:13 am

    Your honest look at how you were living and how exhausted you were got me thinking about how exhausted people in this world are. We are not honest enough with ourselves to realise how exhausted we are and that it has become almost normal to be this exhausted. I remember when I stopped gluten/dairy/sugar and people were like ‘you must be feeling amazing’ and I was like, nope, I am actually starting to feel how I truly am without the dulling/propping up of gluten/dairy/sugar and I am exhausted! From getting honest, I could then start to build a more loving and caring relationship with me.

    Reply
  • Susie W says: August 30, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    Reviewing and adjusting just one of our behaviours, such as how we eat, prepare for sleep, use our ‘down time’ etc. can have a huge effect on our whole life because it brings any neglect or disregard to the surface that is hiding in the other ways we live.

    Reply
  • Willem Plandsoen says: August 30, 2018 at 2:14 pm

    The way we live has potential to transform lives: it is alchemy in action.

    Reply
  • Willem Plandsoen says: August 29, 2018 at 4:27 am

    The one relationship we have to work on is the relationship with ourselves. If we fall in love with ourselves, find our true love, we fall in love with other people, all people as well.

    Reply
  • Tricia Nicholson says: August 28, 2018 at 3:51 pm

    “What matters is how we treat, care for and respect ourselves, as this is what we are then able to bring to all our relationships with others.” A real and reflective sharing of the ripples that we offer and reflect in life and how our commitment to how we live and are effects everything and the responsibility we have with this .

    Reply
  • Andrewmooney26 says: August 26, 2018 at 1:45 am

    I am starting to understand more and more that if I have had a hard or difficult day or feel tired I might think I have a right to be grumpy or irritated but this actually has an impact on everyone around me and is a drag rather than a support for them.

    Reply
  • HM says: August 25, 2018 at 4:19 am

    How we are with ourselves is certainly reflected to another and this is a huge consideration in relationships. I know that I am a direct reflection to my husband and our kids, but that also our family becomes a reflection to our business and friends we have around us. So there is a sense of responsibility and how we truly embrace this in relationships, knowing the solid ripple effects we are delivering.

    Reply
  • Ingrid Ward says: August 23, 2018 at 2:59 pm

    Relationships are definitely like the proverbial pebble being dropped into the pond, the ripples flow on out, and if they come up again an object they simply begin to flow back again. So, if we ‘drop’ anything into a relationship, whether it be with ourselves or others, those ripples naturally flow on out, ripples which are either harming or healing; it’s always our choice as to their quality.

    Reply
    • Nattalija says: August 26, 2018 at 9:49 am

      The choice to heal or harm is given in each moment we express. The ripple effect is often not noted but is part of the process – let us not forget!

      Reply
  • Sam says: August 23, 2018 at 6:51 am

    “The willingness to see how we live and the commitment to consistently be honest does create ripples in our relationships” This is huge, and actually a lot more simpler then we think, Being honest is so dame good for us. Its the foundations for a truly joyous successful life. When we have tasted true freedom how could we want it any other way.

    Reply
  • Mary says: August 22, 2018 at 6:39 am

    This is what I’m discovering our relationship with self-love, and how this affects not just ourselves but everyone around us. It feels as though the more we surrender to ourselves and deepen our self love the more we are able to include everyone in this so that no one is left out we all get to experience the love. Imagine if everyone decided to take the journey of discovering self love the impact this would have on humanity would be massive.

    Reply
  • Rebecca Wingrave says: August 19, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    ‘We need to create stop moments in our day to really consider how we are truly living on a moment to moment basis and the effect that this has.’ I can feel how supportive these stop moments would be in our day and I feel inspired to create these movements in my day.

    Reply
  • Michelle Mcwaters says: August 17, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    I have increasingly observed how comfortable I have been to keep things at a certain level and have been reluctant to dig deeper, to deepen that love, respect and harmony. This is my challenge. In just nominating this I know that a crack will develop and with time it will get wider and so whatever hurt I am protecting that prevents me from going deeper will rise to the surface to be dealt with and let go of. In understanding that my choices are impacting others, even if I can’t at first feel it in myself, allows me to give myself permission to be open to looking at it and to feeling it.

    Reply
  • David says: August 17, 2018 at 4:51 pm

    Ariana that’s true, like we get a sense of it but if we really understood the effect of each ripple we would be very much more aware of ourselves and all our movements to the point that it would be the most important teaching at school and home and our education system would talk about the maths of movement and effects not just the maths of theory.

    Reply
  • Michelle Mcwaters says: August 17, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    ‘Relationships present an opportunity to evolve in one’s own relationship, along with all others equally,’ My goodness, without the reflection of everyone I am in relationship with I would certainly not know myself as well as I do. Every relationship is a point of reflection of where I am at, what I need to work on or a confirmation. They also present opportunities for me to offer the same to others. We really cannot do life on our own and I have so much appreciation for everyone I know because of this.

    Reply
  • jennym says: August 15, 2018 at 7:10 am

    Our movements are indeed ripples of vibration where our quality either harms or heals.

    Reply
  • Samantha Davidson says: August 12, 2018 at 5:43 pm

    Yes the ripples of life, something that many of us neglect to consider, but just as a stone creates ripples in a pool, so do we in life and they keep on going, so indeed what is the quality of them?

    Reply
    • Vanessa says: August 27, 2018 at 5:16 am

      It’s actually a joyful consideration not a burden as I have often thought of it, and have many examples of how this plays out in life.

      Reply
  • Elizabeth Dolan says: August 9, 2018 at 6:37 pm

    We need to take responsibility for the ripple effect that we have on others because at a fundamental level we are all the same.

    Reply
  • julie says: August 9, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    One place you can always feel the ripple effect is in the workplace. How often do office disagreements, personality clashes and power struggles play out and affect everyone in the building?

    Reply
  • Joseph Barker says: August 9, 2018 at 7:59 am

    What a story – a bunch of God’s who made up stories about all-powerful beings ruling the world when all along the power was inside them and their every move. The gods who used their godly powers to pretend they were paupers! ~ just to avoid the truth.

    Reply
  • kev mchardy says: August 8, 2018 at 2:27 pm

    The ripple effect does really show us the responsibility we have to all others walking this planet. If I am living in a way that exhausts me, which I have been most of my life how can I possibly do my best work which then energetically effects everyone that comes in contact with everything I do.

    Reply
  • Carola Woods says: August 8, 2018 at 5:34 am

    In every moment we are reflecting a quality of vibration through the quality of space we occupy. What are we aligning to and what is it that we are offering by way of our reflection? Whether we are willing to be aware or not we are always contributing to the way the world is today.

    Reply
  • Susie W says: August 2, 2018 at 4:34 pm

    “What matters is how we treat, care for and respect ourselves, as this is what we are then able to bring to all our relationships with others” – Well said, and so in order to be everything we can be in our relationships we have to deeply cherish ourselves first.

    Reply
  • Vanessa says: August 2, 2018 at 5:40 am

    Often it is completely unseen the ripples until much later and someone says something or has made changes inspired by you that you had no idea about, it’s very cool and a fun way to live if you think about it,

    Reply
  • Joseph Barker says: July 27, 2018 at 5:58 pm

    Relationships are just a way to describe the fact that we are all interconnected, all of the time, and that naturally anything someone else chooses is going to affect you.

    Reply
  • Michelle Mcwaters says: July 26, 2018 at 5:07 pm

    ‘Who would have thought that relationships and their ripples would have such a profound impact on life, everywhere?’ Feeling off recently and in need of a bit of support, my sister came round and through her conversation supported me to reconnect and get to a settlement in my body. The ripple was felt this morning when I was able to do the same thing for a friend! We have no idea of the ripples we make when we make our choices, but the thing is to simply know they are there.

    Reply
  • Helen Elliott says: July 23, 2018 at 3:14 pm

    We can all feel when someone else is angry and often there is a tendency to react and often both parties end up blaming the other for any ensuing fall out but it is harder to acknowledge the impact that we have on others when we kid ourselves that we are masking what we feel. Committing to taking responsibility for the ripples that I am creating has led to much more harmonious relationships in all areas of my life which not only gives the opportunity for more intimacy but also makes life simpler.

    Reply
  • Lieke Campbell says: July 20, 2018 at 1:39 pm

    Responsibility is not just doing our work, meeting deadlines or paying our tax, it is about the quality we bring to each and every moment in our life. And this quality can only come from how we live our life and how we care for ourselves or not.

    Reply
    • Carola Woods says: August 8, 2018 at 6:33 am

      Absolutely Lieke – with our every breath we are creating ripples and so the quality of energy we reflect is either co-created with our Soul or it is created with our spirit… As it is only one or the other from which we are moved and essentially what we then take to all our relationships.

      Reply
  • Jonathan Stewart says: July 17, 2018 at 4:36 pm

    The ripples may be unseen yet they are the initiators of change: a great example that true power is gentle and loving rather than forceful and hard.

    Reply
  • julie says: July 16, 2018 at 1:15 am

    Often in relationships, we feel the disturbance of another’s movements and then dismiss them without questioning the person if they are alright, or telling them that they don’t feel like themselves or words to that effect. And even though we think there is no ripple effect of this, there always is because it causes a tension in the body for not speaking up and for leaving the other to stew in something that does not need to be stewed upon.

    Reply
  • Elizabeth Dolan says: July 15, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    Simple things like going to bed when we are tired makes a huge difference as it tells our body that we care about it.

    Reply
    • David says: August 23, 2018 at 3:08 pm

      Agreed Elizabeth and then we get to look at why we were tired and start to take greater care of ourselves. The same goes with simple things like when we cut out the caffeine in our diet we get to feel if we are really able to keep going or if our bodies are tired and we just kept going because of the caffeine.

      Reply
  • Tricia Nicholson says: July 13, 2018 at 2:44 pm

    “the consistency and willingness to keep going deeper with oneself and others that keeps us evolving. ” So true and so beautiful to feel our relationship with ourself with care love and connection to our bodies naturally from within.

    Reply
  • Annelies van Haastrecht says: July 11, 2018 at 10:42 pm

    Recently I became aware that basically I have brought in reactions that lead to frustration in my marriage of 28 years, an ill pattern that definitely had a ripple effect on our relationship and on our children and more outward as well. So to bring in my responsibility to not act in the reactions I maybe have now and then but to honour the rhythm of our loving relationship is what is next, doesn’t say I cannot reflect on what is happening in my life with my partner but without dumping it on him or others.

    Reply
  • Zofia says: July 11, 2018 at 1:56 pm

    “Relationship Ripples” – great every day examples here Amina that show how the way we are with ourselves is the way we are with another too to then receive the same quality back. I experienced the other day at work and with the hundreds of people on the underground system… how that when I give myself space that space is given to me and the people automatically subconsciously respond to this quality making walking through crowds that much easier!

    Reply
    • David says: July 16, 2018 at 3:38 pm

      With the choice to deepen our relationships we change the world from the ground up. One ripple at a time, and yet do we see the power in that? When i think of a ripple I see it as near endless. One ripple affects far more people than we often consider.

      Reply
  • Jill Steiner says: July 9, 2018 at 5:54 am

    As the pebble falls into the water sending out ripples upon ripples to the furtherest bank so to do all our choices in everything we do and say how we hold our bodies ripples out across the sea of humanity and then comes back to where it started, such is the responsibility we have in living our daily life.

    Reply
  • David says: July 2, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    If in life the one thing we say we want more than anything is love, and then we make life about love first, i.e. we build a body of love then all our relationships will be love and so rippling out to the world is the possibility that relationships can be about love first and foremost.

    Reply
  • Ingrid Ward says: June 28, 2018 at 6:42 am

    It makes sense that if we move in a certain way we make ripples as we move. So, if we move in anger, it is the anger that ripples out to others even if we pretend we are not angry. And in total contrast if we move in a loving way it is this love that ripples out. When we understand this the next knowing is that we are therefore responsible for how we move, in every moment, for no one is untouched by our ripples.

    Reply
    • Vanessa says: July 1, 2018 at 5:26 am

      It is such a great image of the effect of movement on water it’s undeniable.

      Reply
  • julie says: June 26, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    It’s a fact that we are in a relationship with everything, but we try to compartmentalise things and want to believe that we can keep ourselves at a distance. Maybe we do this so that we do not have to be responsible for our actions?

    Reply
  • Annelies van Haastrecht says: June 26, 2018 at 4:53 am

    ‘Ripples’ are teaching us that every expression, movement has an effect on all of us and on the all. Not always what we want to feel because of the responsibility that comes with it but it always shows us we can be love and even more love at anytime if we choose so.

    Reply
  • Janet says: June 25, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    Thanks, Amina, for how you highlight our love and valuing of ourselves as an essential factor in relationships with others.

    Reply
    • Chan Ly says: September 28, 2018 at 5:24 am

      It certainly does Janet and when we deeply love and value ourselves this ripples out to every single one of our relationships. It is impossible to deny the ripples effects we have on each other.

      Reply
  • Elizabeth Dolan says: June 19, 2018 at 8:06 pm

    I know instantly when something is not right with me by the way that I walk as the way we walk reveals so much to us.

    Reply
  • Nicola Lessing says: June 18, 2018 at 8:48 am

    It is a fact that everything we do, don’t do, say, think, how we move – everything – has an effect and far, far more and with wider ripples than we allow ourselves to be aware of.

    Reply
    • Nicola Lessing says: June 18, 2018 at 8:58 am

      One of the reasons we choose not to be aware of this is because we do not want to face the responsibility and the changes that might be needed in our day to day life.

      Reply
  • Adele Leung says: June 14, 2018 at 9:39 am

    I’m finding there is a cycle that happens. Whenever I deepen the relationship with myself, this connection must deepen with others. It is something the mind cannot fathom as it would seem there is a bigger gap between people, but instead there is a stronger beholding asking to be deepened.

    Reply
  • Joseph Barker says: June 13, 2018 at 12:40 pm

    Whether we accept it or not, our choices, actions and words are felt and received by the whole world. Pursuing one high aim but treating other situations with distain will only lead to disappointment and pain.

    Reply
  • Gabriele Conrad says: June 11, 2018 at 2:30 pm

    Relationship starts with the one we have with ourselves first and from there, the ripple effect goes out to all others and everything we do.

    Reply
    • Chan Ly says: September 28, 2018 at 5:30 am

      Absolutely Gabriele and we tend to focus on our relationships with others and forget we do in fact have a relationship with ourselves too and then we wonder why we have relationship issues.

      Reply
  • Joseph Barker says: June 11, 2018 at 9:24 am

    It’s pretty absurd how we cry out to be ‘in relationship’ when in truth it’s impossible to be out. A better statement would be to ask to be more aware – of how our every move affects the whole world.

    Reply
  • Zofia says: June 9, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    “Relationship ripples” – when there is a ripple, there is the movement back towards love if we choose the healing of understanding through observation of what is there.

    Reply
  • Rebecca Turner says: June 7, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    I have experienced recently how powerful it is to deal with my own issues and how much of a change this brings to my relationships. It’s like magic. Once I had felt my feelings in full I was able to clear them, and as a result my relationships have changed both at home and at work.

    Reply
  • Rebecca Wingrave says: June 7, 2018 at 4:01 am

    Amina, thank you for sharing this; ‘Having lived a busy, hectic life with work, I started to create quiet time – ‘down time’ I called it – that helped me to stop and really consider that the way I had been with myself was not what it could be.’ I can feel how it is easy to get caught up in the momentum of work and being busy and so ‘stop’ moments feel really important. Sometimes when I stop I can feel my legs throbbing from pushing myself and the stop allows me to come back to me and move more gently and lovingly.

    Reply
  • greg Barnes says: June 4, 2018 at 3:41 am

    You nailed it Amina, when you shared, “living with a deeper level of self-worth, respect and gentleness with myself, I have then been able to bring those qualities to all others and begin to build more intimate relationships all round.” As we evolve we have to start out with small steps, as it is so easy to get lost if we jump ahead of our-selves. So as you have shared “Gentleness” is a key starting point.

    Reply
  • Joseph Barker says: May 29, 2018 at 5:01 pm

    A big hoopla is made of every crusade to save this or that when ironically all of the time we are all ‘making a difference’. What kind of a difference is simply down to what we choose.

    Reply
    • Gabriele Conrad says: June 11, 2018 at 2:33 pm

      What kind of difference we make is down to the energy we choose to inspire us and then bring to others and everything in life.

      Reply
  • Susie W says: May 29, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    You mentioned about always focusing on your work first and foremost, but what if the quality of what we ‘deliver’ at work was actually determined by how we live in between, and the depth to which we connect with people in our lives which then provides the intelligence of what’s needed next in the workplace?

    Reply
  • Matts Josefsson says: May 28, 2018 at 10:06 am

    Carrying unresolved things from day to day feels equivalent to a computer program running in the back ground slowing the system down.

    Reply
  • Samantha England says: May 28, 2018 at 6:24 am

    Currently as a society most of us live life full of complications, unnecessary burdens and an overwork stressed out mentality. It simply does not need to be this way. By making life simpler by going to bed early, waking up earlier and eating more healthily we set ourselves up with a foundation to have an amazing joyful vital life filled with love.

    Reply
  • Michael Brown says: May 27, 2018 at 8:21 pm

    We can see the effects of how we are so clearly on our family, friends and colleagues, but when you think about it, they all have family, friends and colleagues too, and so on. It’s quite vast considering just how many people we could have an effect on just by talking to one person.

    Reply
  • Karin Barea says: May 27, 2018 at 7:27 am

    The ripple effect of how we are in our relationships cannot be underestimated. I once thought the only ripples were those coming from others, some of which I wanted to avoid and some I wanted to embrace. I didn’t want to consider my attempt to be unnoticed (and also desperate to be noticed which I wouldn’t admit) was actually me denying I have a responsibility. We are never not creating ripples – they can be with love and the rhythms of the universe, inspiring harmony, love and truth, or they can create malstroms!

    Reply
  • Nattalija says: May 25, 2018 at 7:48 am

    What we offer another can only be quantified by what we offer ourselves. As the relationship with each and everything around us counts.

    Reply
  • Natalie Hawthorne says: May 24, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    I can totally relate to the not resolving things by the end of the day and how this has had an impact on the way my next morning has been. Now I am totally on it to make sure things are expressed and spoken about with whom ever it needs to be with.

    Reply
  • Joseph Barker says: May 23, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    The key thing in relationships is the reflections they bring. They highlight in the most unmistakable way what’s true and what is not. We’ve become experts at hiding from this and cutting off from life but it’s absurd to isolate when we are an equal part of the universe.

    Reply
    • David says: June 6, 2018 at 1:15 am

      Joseph that is so very true, through the relationships I have I learnt so much.

      Reply
  • Carola Woods says: May 22, 2018 at 5:11 am

    It is amazing to feel how the degree of love we choose to live for ourselves is what we naturally choose to bring and honor more and more in all our relationships. I have noticed that in deepening a loving and honouring relationship with my essence, who I am within, it is this quality I want to share with others in all my relationships be it at home, at work, with friends and even people I have just met. In accepting and cherishing the fact that we are always in a relationship with our essence, our Soul, as such we either embrace it or resist it, it is through self-honesty that we then can feel the quality in which we enrich our lives with, and the quality we share with all those we are also always in relationship with.

    Reply
  • Hm says: May 20, 2018 at 10:22 pm

    The ripple effects start with us – the quality we bring to something as simple as getting ready In the morning. Thanks for sharing your experience Amina as it shows the responsibility we have to look at how we are living first

    Reply
  • Zofia says: May 16, 2018 at 2:50 pm

    “Relationships present an opportunity to evolve in one’s own relationship, along with all others equally..” – yes because being in a relationship with another highlights our very own holding quality [the way we hold ourselves in life/relationship] which can confirm for us what is true; what aspect (s) are needing to deepen, and equally it can reflect to inspire the person we’re with, imprinting together what the relationship is, and that relationships are about evolution.

    Reply
  • Mary says: May 16, 2018 at 1:44 pm

    Society teaches us that it is selfish to look after oneself first, that it is all about looking after other people females are especially led to believe this from a very young age. What I have discovered for myself is that the opposite is actually true. I have found that the more I cherish myself in everything I do this has a ripple effect and the ripples touch everyone else without me even trying.

    Reply
  • Rachel Murtagh says: May 15, 2018 at 1:38 pm

    A friend of mine shared with me that for a long time she held back from expressing to her group of friends that something was amiss about their relationship and the way they interacted with each other. Seeing them a year later nothing changed, so this time she spoke up. The ripple effect was huge, not only did they change and become more harmonious, but their joint business took off with a greater clientele. This proved to me the importance of speaking up in every situation, because the ripple effect is massive.

    Reply
    • Elaine Arthey says: May 20, 2018 at 2:18 pm

      Thank you Rachel. This is a very clear example. It can be easy to let things ride and not keep up with people or situations and this is a great reminder to not only speak but also that it is never too late to do so.

      Reply
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