Discovering tattoos at the age of 17… a time when being tattooed placed me in the minority but would soon become a major fashion trend…
Simply wanting a tattoo because I liked the look of them: why, I did not know, nor did I ever bother to stop and question this need at that time.
Over time, I have observed that tattoos have almost become a common ‘fashion accessory’ – a trend, something everyone ‘must have’. Today, they’ve gained wide-reaching acceptance with a broad spectrum of people now being tattooed: musicians, actors, sportspeople, mothers, fathers and grandparents all are succumbing to the latest fad.
And as they have become so prevalent and socially accepted, no longer are you asked why you have a tattoo but why you do not. Also, they’re bigger than ever now – not just a little star, a butterfly, a unicorn or bluebird anymore – they’re now large enough to cover almost an entire limb or the whole back.
The Addictive Nature of Tattoos
Once tattooed, I found there was a need for another, then another, each one bigger and bolder than the last, as if the tattoos themselves were an addiction. For they had become so for me, in the sense that once I had a taste for them, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from getting more.
Looking back I can see that this addiction to tattoos was very similar to other addictions I used to keep me numbed to feeling what really was going on, and from how I was truly feeling; things such as alcohol, marijuana, shopping or over-working.
What is it that makes tattoos so addictive?
I’m not the only one of course – many have taken tattoos to an extreme. But what is so appealing about tattoos that we do not question them and have allowed them to become so prevalent?
I know that I never stopped to consider why I would do that to my body, even when asked by my parents. Great question, but something I had no answer for at the time. It was only after I had made many other changes in my life that I began to ponder.
Was it possible that tattoos fooled me into believing that I accepted myself? Or did they allow me to focus on something else on my body – rather than on my body itself?
I used to think my tattoos beautified my body; that my body was not beautiful enough without something else. Clothes, shoes and accessories were one thing, but once they were gone, my body remained, raw, uncovered and exposed – a body not accepted, a body always needing ‘to be improved upon’, to fit the unrealistic picture the media constantly presents to us. I see now that I was using tattoos as a way to hide my body and myself, and as a form of protection.
I eventually realised this protection did not work
No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.
Attending workshops and presentations with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I began to discover that there was so much more to my tattoos and my life than I was allowing myself to feel. I was able to accept more and more of me as I am, and that I am so much more than my tattoos.
The need to hide behind something or someone was falling away. I realised it was ok for me to just be me, and that the only person that needed to accept me, was me.
It took a little more time to break down the ideals and beliefs I’d ‘picked up’ and held on to around not being enough; to realise that I am not the clothes I wear nor the hairstyle I have – to know that I am what is within – and it is that beauty within that is now able to shine, without the need for any form of fashion accessory or tattoo.
By making choices in my life that are supportive and loving, allowing me to feel who I am without the façade, I have been able to end my addiction to tattoos and see my body and myself for who I truly am, the amazing, delicate woman I have always been and shall continue to blossom to be.
The Next Step: Tattoo Removal
Now I am choosing to go through the procedure of having my tattoos removed in a loving, supportive process with Dr Anne Malatt.
Part of my development has been about reclaiming myself and living the naturally beautiful woman I am. The laser tattoo removal process is just another part of this development, along with other changes I made and am still making in my life.
Each removal session supports me to feel more of me. Now I am able to look at myself in the mirror and see and feel me and the body I am in – not the tattoos I chose to hide behind.
Through the presentations and support of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I have been able to look at all areas of my life, making loving choices that support me and my body. My journey from tattoos to tattoo removal, from addiction to self-acceptance is an extension of that life now lived. I accept and appreciate the body I have, no matter how it may look, and know that I could never become addicted to tattoos again.
By Nicole Serafin, Tintenbar, Australia
Related Reading:
Is True Beauty Really In The Eye Of The Beholder?
The Man Beneath the Tattoos and Dreads
My Tattoo Removal & The Power of Stillness
902 Comments
Working in a backpackers many years ago, part of my role was to ferry guests around town and due to considerable demand I’d do pick ups from a tattoo parlour. (Tattoos were not yet the ‘norm’ but someone had got one and most of the current longer term backpackers followed)
It was during this time that I came close to getting a tattoo (marijuana written in Japanese writing on the bottom of my feet) but thankfully sense prevailed!
The main thing that held me back was, how could I pick something now that as I got older and my preferences changed I could be stuck with something on my body that I no longer wanted or liked? Remarkable that I could have such a clear thought considering the amount I was smoking!
Your writing is inspiring Nicole as you willingly look within and express to the world what is truly going on as many do not question “why do I really want a tattoo?”
Wow Julie, it sounds like even with everything you were choosing at that time you were still able to connect to something far greater within!
Great to read your experience on tattoos Nicole, as not having one myself, I didn’t have the understanding around why you would get one so thank-you for sharing.
It’s so beautiful that you are re-claiming your true gorgeousness and beauty within you now.
The vast majority of things we do, we do for recognition and identification. So many of us have a constant ‘look at me/I am that’ dialogue with the world going on, even when when we don’t want to be seen, there is still identification that I am a ‘shy person or I am a recluse’ message being sent out. Tattoos are simply one of the unlimited ways that we try and make a statement about who we perceive ourselves to be but any statement or idea about who we perceive ourselves to be narrows down and poorly defines who we actually are to the minutest fragment because we are the unlimited glory of God, no less and once we re-claim that there will be no scrabbling to identify ourselves because we will know who we are in truth.
Yes thank you Nicole, I had not understood that Tattoo’s can reflect a lack of self-acceptance and provide a form of protection. The beauty of a visual design on our skin feels so minuscule compared to sharing the inner beauty of ourselves with others.
Absolutely Jenny – Tattoos can certainly be a way to mask our own natural beauty. I suppose a big area for that is permanent makeup – which is a tattoo on your face (lips eyes, eyebrows) as a permanent enhancement.
It can take you very far away from who you naturally are.
And crazy that we have found ways to permanently mark our bodies to define us. From the age old tattoos used to mark cultures or tribes to where we are today – they have always been there as a way to make us seem more accepted and fit in. But I also know this can be true through simply expressing and living in a way that does not cap us or confine us, but lets us be completely ourselves.
Thank you Nicole, I can see that equal to letting go of the tattoo addiction is the process of opening up to the support that tells you that you are worth so much more.
Nicole, this blog really assists me in understanding some of the drive with tattoo’s and how it is an addiction not unlike other substance misuse and motivated from a similar place.
Engaging in loving choices to self, a journey we can all relate to. Thanks for sharing an amazing journey.
An amazing question you ask here Nicole ‘Was it possible that tattoos fooled me into believing that I accepted myself…’
Wow – I have seen in people very close to me how getting a tattoo was used as an identity.
It was cool and trendy, and fitted with a certain image.
But you are right – it goes far beyond just a tattoo. One could say that we mould our bodies in a way that give us an identity. I know I used to be obsessed with the gym because it let me ‘accept myself’ and helped me physically mould into something that others could identify with.
This is very true Hannah, ‘One could say that we mould our bodies in a way that give us an identity.’ I used to do lots of cycling and as crazy as it sounds having a muscly body helped me to feel part of something, i used to be proud of how hard the muscles on my arms and legs were as I liked being the ‘tough girl’, the one you could have an arm wrestle with, rather than a ‘girly girl’. I no longer feel this way, I now love my tender, graceful arms and have no interest in arm wrestling anyone.
Maybe we need to re-define what accepting ourself means – perhaps it is not covering ourself in ink, dying and cutting our hair, going to the gym, wearing different clothes etc, but is actually first and for most something that has nothing to do with the outside and the physical, but everything to do with the way you are in yourself.
Wow Nicole, thank you for sharing. You have answered a question that I have asked for many years. Why get a tattoo? After reading your blog, I now get it. wonderful that you are now able to ” know that I am what is within – and it is that beauty within that is now able to shine, without the need for any form of fashion accessory or tattoo”.
I’ve asked the same question Heidi, ‘why get a tattoo?’, and could not quite understand it until reading Nicole’s blog.
Absolutely Susie, for me personally I could not understand why someone may choose to get a tattoo – to me, it didn’t make sense with the ‘forever’ commitment to having something like that on your body (even when you are old and wrinkly), as well as the physical pain, but now I understand what reasons some people choose to get them, so thank you Nicole.
Thank you Nicole for sharing on this topic and the reflection you have offered about why we are getting tattoos. It is so normalised that nobody considers it a way to cope with lack of self worth and self acceptance, to make the body more.
I know lots of people with massive tattoos and they wear them with a certain pride and identity and I can see now how there is a real hiding behind the tattoos. Very interesting reflection you have offered here.
Thanks to Nicole for opening up on this subject which is all around us these days. It strikes me that Rachel’s insight is spot on, that nobody considers anymore why they might be having a tattoo and how it works to make the person feel more rather than deal with lack of self-worth and acceptance issues. Like you can never be really naked anymore because you’ve got a tattoo and therefore something is hidden behind it.
Truly beautiful to read Nicole – I love to feel how you are now free of the need of having tattoos to cover your body and feel how deeply beautiful you are as a woman.
Nicole, this is a wonderful sharing of the understanding and different choices you have made in your life. I have never had nor wanted a tattoo myself but I note the increase in prevalence that I see all around me, and I often wonder ‘how could one do this to their body?’. I ask this question because I have a greater understanding for myself today of what it means to hold and treat my body in a way that is deeply honouring and cherishing and how we are all deserving of this; no different to when we were small babies and so to bring physical pain or scarring to ourselves feels far less than what I know us to be worth.
I have also noted the regret that others have expressed to me in regards to their own tattoos, and for some the disdain each time they look at their bodies and are reminded of how they feel about themselves, how they feel about the person who performed the tattoo and the follow on choices of blame that follow suit. This reminds me that I carry signs and scars on my body that reflect to me everyday about the previous choices I have made, but I am beginning to appreciate them more for the learning they have brought and will continue to touch, hold and be with my body with as much preciousness as I naturally am.
What an amazing transition Nicole, I love this bit:
“The need to hide behind something or someone was falling away. I realised it was ok for me to just be me, and that the only person that needed to accept me, was me.”
Acceptance of ourselves is huge for women. Your photo just glows acceptance which is gorgeous to see, a beautiful reflection. Thank you.
Isn’t it amazing that it is actually that simple, the only person who needs to accept that we are enough as we are is ourselves. And from their anything is possible!
Beautiful Jeanette. A woman’s acceptance that our innate beauty emanates from within if far more powerful than anything we can adorn or place on our body and wear is indeed a massive revelation for all women. Whats more, the more women who claim this innate beauty the more other women will be reflected and inspired by the fact that there is another way.
Great Blog Nicole and yes tattoos are everywhere. It is great to hear someone express what is really going on with tattoos and not just blindly following the masses and the feed choice to get tattoos. I too have had tattoos and have had sessions to get them removed. I realised just how abusive it is to ourselves when we get the tattoos, and to then decide to have them removed is an expressive and painful process. It showed me how numb I was at the time of getting the tattoos and just how much self loathing that I carried. I love that I have only a light shadow left and in time they will be gone completely and I will never do this again to my body.
It is true Simone, and I have experienced the same. I will never get another tattoo and I enjoy supporting others come to the same realisation.
This is such a beautiful exposé of tattoos and the reason that they become so addictive. Although I have never had one, for a long period of time I very much wanted one. I dilly-dallied about the design, never finding one I quite liked, and giving myself a hard time because I thought I was wimpy and scared of the pain it would cause.
Boy am I glad now.
Knowing what I was like with addictive behaviours it would likely have been the start of something that I would have had trouble putting the brakes on.
When I arrived at Universal Medicine and its courses and workshops, I had zero self-esteem, zero capacity for self-care…and wanted a tattoo. The moment I started to understand that how I felt about myself was in the driver’s seat and dictating the types of choices I was making, well all I can say now was that the moment I put the brakes on a good many very unloving choices I was making. The desire for a tattoo was promptly binned and I set forth to re-discover what it was I was truly wanting – real love for myself and appreciation of my beauty just as it is.
This has been the most precious investment in myself, with deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and the way of the Livingness.
Tattoos have become so ubiquitous and as you say Nicole so large now, and this seems to have coincided with our lives becoming that much more intense and pressurised. I never have had a tattoo or desire to have one so it was great to read your experiences of why you had tattoos and why you are now choosing to remove them. Worth a read for anyone considering getting one I would say for sure.
Like you Stephen I’ve never had a desire to have a tattoo, and could never understand why people did. I’m very aware of the huge tattoo industry that feeds on people’s insecurities and sells tattooing as something desirable and cool to have. Every strata and age of society has bought into it. I heard last week that Selfridges in London’s Oxford Ss now has a tattoo parlour. Another high end London department store advertises wash off airbrush tattoo days for ‘children of all ages’, removable they may be but likely to lead to a desire to have real tattoos in the future. It’s got out of control.
Nicole, I have never been drawn to have a tattoo but can feel that they have a similar feel-good factor as constantly buying clothes- the satisfaction is instant but short lived and highlights a lack of self love. Your journey to true self acceptance is inspirational. Thank you.
Great point Anne, I can really relate to this almost constant feeling of a need to buy more clothes, that actually streams from a constant need to look at what others are wearing and compare, and never really appreciating first what I already have, and secondly that I am beautiful no matter my makeup or clothes. It can be all to easy to hide with clothes, either with the obvious baggy boring clothes, or even hiding in extravagant loud clothes, if you don’t get to feel all of you when you wear them, its still hiding.
You are so right Nicole more people seem to have tatts these days than not and those that do aren’t governed by age gender or what walk of life they hail from. I was never in the right place or time to get one for myself, which I have to admit I’m quite pleased about otherwise i would be going down the removal route also. Thanks for shedding a bit more light on the subject.
This is huge Nicole. Thank you very much for writing this. In an age when tattoos are increasing in popularity, to have someone going against the grain, so to speak and actually have them removed and understanding the reasons why you got them in the first place is revelatory. I have often marvelled at how tattoos are increasing in size. Maybe 10 years ago it was cute to have a star or a small butterfly – now as you say we have whole limbs covered. It is so true that when we feel empty of ourselves and non-accepting, anything becomes fodder for us to turn to and become addicted to.
Great point Shevon, that tattoos have become larger in size. It is not uncommon to see a body part covered in fact it has become the norm.
Hi Nicole, “I used to think my tattoos beautified my body; that my body was not beautiful enough without something else”. I can remember considering having a tattoo, at the time I had a severe lacked self worth and felt that the tattoo would make me look more interesting and would be a great talking point. I’m glad I didn’t go ahead with this and would now not consider having one done as I appreciate and love my body as it naturally is, this is thanks to the inspiring presentations by Serge Benhayon and my choice to connect to the beautiful woman that I am.
That’s a really interesting point that you have picked out Rebecca – I can see that in the social media pages of people who I used to go to school with with them posting pictures of their new tattoos, it is a way to advertise themselves and say ‘hey, I’m interesting’ but at the same time seem to be showing that they are also conforming to what teenagers ‘should do’ in society – that they are not ‘weird’.
The growing trend for tattoos in my lifetime has taken off and what was once seen as socially unacceptable has become accepted in society as normal. This turnaround started when I was in my teens and I momentarily considered having something small and innocuous put somewhere I could easily hide but in the end I didn’t as the idea of being an old lady with one didn’t sit right for me. Also I’ve never been very good with pain, I knew having one would hurt for sure. Our natural beauty within and our skin is so much more precious. Writing this I am reminded of the amazing delicateness of a babies skin which we would never dream of tattooing. Could it be that those who choose to paint their bodies with tattoos have simply forgotten how incredibly precious we are? Great sharing Nicole, thank you for starting this conversation. I look forward to hearing the details of how you felt physically and about yourself post treatment. What an amazing commitment to returning to the wonderful you.
Nicole thank you for bringing a deeper understanding into tattooing. Having not had one myself I had often questioned why people had them. Your blog has made me aware of the many underlying reasons people may choose to have a tattoo. The work of Universal Medicine has obviously supported you enormously to self accept, heal and come to a deeper understanding of yourself.
How on earth can you have your eyeballs tattooed! That is shocking, disturbing and sad to read, for people to have thought of this and others to do it they must be so far away from who they truly are.
If a woman were in touch with, and honoured, her delicate nature could she ever say yes to a tattoo? I always thought that removal of tattoos was almost impossible and that it was painful and expensive, however even if it, is from what you have shared here, it is most definitely worth it.
This is the first article that I have read on tattoos that does not debate whether they are good or bad but looks beneath the surface without judgement to examine why it is we choose them. This in itself is super powerful. And it seems from everything you say Nicole, that underneath this skin of this subject lays another deeper one which we avoid mentioning in everyday circles: how is it that people everywhere do not seem to love themselves? We are all beautiful naturally and deserving of love without condition or accessory.
I love the question underneath the question you raise: ‘how is it that people everywhere do not seem to love themselves? We are all beautiful naturally and deserving of love without condition or accessory.’ How did we get so far away from ourselves and so full of hurts, that we are willing to abuse our bodies in various ways? The first step in returning back is making self-loving choices and getting awareness. Thanks for your contributions, Nicole and Joseph.
Great comment Joseph. I think we can even take that one further and say, ‘how is it that people everywhere do not seem to be aware that they do not love themselves?’ My feeling is that there is a consciousness that does not even allow someone to admit that this is the case. I know from my experience that before Universal Medicine, although I could say life wasn’t joyful, it was ticking along ok but there was no concept that the root cause of my lack of joy was a lack of love of myself – it simply did not occur to me.
Indeed I have discovered that nothing I can put on my body – whether it be a tattoo, make up or clothes can actually make me feel more beautiful than I am on the inside. So instead of focussing on the external to make me feel better I now know that reconnection to what is within is where the fullness of my beauty will naturally be felt. This of course is a work in progress, and something I am enjoying discovering more about all the time. Thank you Nicole, for another awesome blog.
‘I have discovered that nothing I can put on my body – whether it be a tattoo, make up or clothes can actually make me feel more beautiful than I am on the inside’ – That’s gorgeous Amelia, wow. From quite a young age (around 12/13) I believed makeup would make me beautiful, so wore tons of it – eyeshadow, lipstick, blusher, the lot! This then took its toll – I began to think that when I didn’t wear makeup I looked ugly. Similar to how Nicole talked about being addicted to tattoos – I was addicted to makeup!
I have never read or heard of tattoos being addictive, but after reading your article it makes perfect sense, that is one thing they exactly are, an addiction; and a false way of accepting ourselves and our body when we don’t. Also it explains why people have so many once the feeling or ‘excitement’ of the new tattoo wears off we our left feeling how we originally did, hence getting another one. I am aware now of the actual poison tattoos are on our body, and in our body as ‘everything is energy’ Serge Benhayon.
It is really lovely to read how you now accept, love and cherish your body.
I got a tattoo on my left breast when I was about 33,I did not like my breasts at this time and thought it was the hip thing to do. Looking back on that time of my life I was having a break from my alcohol and drug abuse, instead I was numbing out on hours of yoga daily, fasting and raw food and getting my breast tattooed. I was so numb at the time that getting the tattoo did not even hurt. Now removing it has been a very different experience, the first 5 removals were very painful but very worth it as I feel I have reclaimed my breasts back as mine and have learnt to deeply respect and love my breasts as well as my body.
Mary Louise thanks for sharing your own experience of tattoo removing. It was great to hear how the removal has helped you reclaim your body
Wow your clarity and honesty here Mary-Louise is amazing. I had no idea that you could be so numbed on yoga and food that even having a tattoo wouldn’t hurt, yet removing it, having rediscovered your delicate sensitivity and you feel it all. What a turnaround. I really felt the numbing effect of food on my body this week when I tried to bury an emotion with a teaspoon or 2 of nut-butter, I was all hazy and it was like I was on drugs. It was a real wake up.
That is great to hear.. what you felt after removing it. Like many have said I feel this is a much needed conversation as not many people are aware of the negative effects tattoos have on the body,
I agree Vicky not many people are aware of the negative effects tattoos have on the body, they just see it as a trend to have a tattoo, and fit into the crowd.
Thank you for sharing Mary Louise.
I don’t have a tattoo – but I hated my nipples so much so that I was seriously considering getting tattoos over them to mask what I didn’t like – instead of facing why I didn’t like them in the first place. I am starting to appreciate my body more and more, and my skin is changing because of it – so instead of using tattoos as a solution to feel better and accepted, I’ve started to work on accepting myself.
Thanks for sharing Nicole, tattoos are very much the trend now for sure it still surprises me when I see Rugby League on TV and see players with so many, imagine having those removed.
I did get a tattoo at 18 and now see how I used it to ‘feel cool’ and to have something else to focus on as I certainly did not consider any other part of my body then.
I’ll look forward to making an appointment with Anne when I’m down that way next.
Ive never had any tattoos. But once upon a time I thought they were cool and though I wanted to get one, it was because my friends dad had them and I wanted to impress my friend. Its funny though how when I became 18, I would never have gone through with getting a tattoo, something about it just didn’t feel right and I couldn’t go through with it, it would have felt like signing a deal that I would have for the rest of my life. Thanks for sharing Nicole.
I ended up getting one tattoo Harrison when I was younger and the only reason I got it was to be cool. In fact that is what I see happening even now. People getting tattoos because it is the latest and coolest thing to do. It’s crazy what we choose to do to ourselves to be cool and accepted.
Wanting to fit in is a major player in life, if we are not steady in ourselves at some point in our life we are going to choose a behaviour or many so we think we will be accepted.Tattoos and body modifications is a culture and one that is growing fast and a lot of people don’t want to be left out.
Well said Tony, the wanting to fit in certainly plays a big part in getting a tattoo, couple this feeling with what Nicole exposed and there is immediate understanding as to the rise in tattooing ones body. Showing all of us how very important it is to live steady with oneself, content in the bodies we have, as the world is crying out for another way, and we are it.
Gorgeous Nicole that you have reclaimed your body back as yours and now you celebrate the natural, tender woman that you are. There are so many different ways that we can numb ourselves so as to not have to feel our hurts, tattoo’s being yet another way.
It is great to hear your perspective about tattoos being an addiction. I have never been able to understand it, after having nursed old bodies with faded, wrinkled tattoos. I see beautiful young women and men with whole sleeves or calves and wonder how they let it go so far. The temporary up and excitement of planning and getting a new tattoo and the false sense of self it brings helps to explain this. It seems that just like any addiction it momentarily takes away any uncomfortable feelings but then leaves you back where you started, needing another ‘up’ moment. At a time when people are using more things than ever to distract or numb themselves, it is no surprise that the popularity of tattoos has exploded,
The uppers these days are not only alcohol and drugs, but tattoos on nearly everyones body- as a distraction from life.
Thanks Nicole for the fascinating insight into tattoos and what was behind them for you. Having never wanted to have a tattoo I did not understand there was so much behind the choice.
Thank you Nicole for the honesty and sharing of the life once lived. It is incredible to see in a very short time the whole ‘persona’ around tattoos change from only the ‘bikies’ or ‘sailors’ having them to now – who hasn’t one?
Why is everyone not asking, what on earth has caused this mass explosion of getting ink done!!!
Yes I agree Andrew, these days tattoos have lost their rebel status and become a common fashion accessory. It demonstrates just how easily influenced we are about what is fashionable and trendy without truly stopping to consider the deeper implications of such whims. The permanence of a tattoo is not to be taken lightly and what if there are other implications to them we are not aware of yet? Not so long ago smoking was considered beneficial, will we have a similar road to travel with tattoos?
It seems to me that humanity has to take itself beyond extremes and wait for a disaster to happen before it wakes up to the detrimental affects of many things. Why do we choose to do everything the hard way when life could be so simple…? Are humanity as a whole punishing itself for some perceived sin, and waiting for something or someone to rescue us? Are all these activities that we partake in just a cry for help, and not knowing where to look, we then take it out on ourselves by mutilating our bodies and abusing ourselves with extreme behaviours which are not loving and that in fact, keep us entrenched in the pain that we are feeling.
Good question Andrew; why is not everyone asking for the reason for the mass explosion of tattoos? This should be the topics in the news.
I’ve become a fan of your blogs Nicole and this one is no exception! Your relationship with your body has developed as you connect to the beauty you are within as you expressed. Have you ever worked with teenagers? I can feel you as such a supportive reflection for those who are questioning themselves, their worth and their very existence. Keep writing Nicole ~ there is a book in there!
The tattoo trend is gaining increasing popularity, with so many people walking down the street with visible tattoos, and even more with ones hidden under clothes. I have also felt what you have described – that the question is no longer why get a tattoo, but why not? When I was a child I never ever wanted a tattoo, the fear of needles and my personal dislike of them making me certain I would never get one, and in a way it was my fear of the needles involved that has been my saving grace, as I have gotten older and the pressure and inciting idea of getting a tattoo has grown, I haven’t given in and reading your blog is so supportive of that choice. I understand now that if I were to get a tattoo it would only be to cover my body and give me something to focus on other than my perceived imperfections – thank you for sharing.
Well said Rebecca, that’s awesome what you have become aware of, and you can now make a more true and loving choice, rather than just going with the trend. How powerful when we can look at what comes up for us, without going into any mode to cover it up and not deal with what’s there to be looked at.
I agree Esther, I am so glad that Nicole’s blog was there as a support to me and many others. I hadn’t realised how much tattoos were a niggling thing at the back of our culture, and unseen press and temptation.
If we were taught to make truly loving choices from young we would not have the ever growing number of people tattooing themselves. It’s so true what you say Nicole, when you let it your inner beauty makes you outwardly shine.
That’s pretty cool Nicole. When I first got my tattoo it was like a mark of belonging to something, in my case it was being a fan of a certain video game I was obsessed about at the time. I could now claim something as ‘me’ and people would ask about the tattoo, what it meant and then allow me to talk about a favourite subject that I had attached to. Over the years I had thoughts of getting more and more of them but I never went through with it. What was really highlighted to me while reading this was WHERE I had placed the tattoo – I did not want it on my shoulder or anywhere I could not see it, I wanted to have a constant reminder of ‘who I was’. Gradually over time from experiencing the work of Serge Benhayon I started to see and feel what this attachment was doing to me and then how I related to others. It’s been over two years now but when people ask why I am getting it removed I can firmly claim “It’s just not ‘me’ anymore” – truth is it was never me in the first place.
I agree, Leigh. For me getting a tattoo was about the spiritual glamour of the group I belonged to at the time, but more importantly it gave me an identity, to give me a sense of myself that would cure the aching emptiness I felt inside (which it didn’t). I can now feel the irresponsibility of doing this rather than face the unresolved hurts I was feeling, and when I had my tattoo removed, it made me cry to feel how irresponsible I had been to do this to my precious body.
The crying for me too Janet has not been about the physical pain of the removal but the connection to the impact of my choices on my very precious and divine body.
That is a great insight Leigh, of how your tattoo was used to give you a false identity, and I love your reply that now “its just not me”. An answer on many levels!
Thank you Leigh, your insight into where on the body a tattoo is placed brings a level of understanding to why, why are we choosing to tag our ” selves ” with symbols…and thank you Nicole, a brilliant exposition, for going deeper and starting the conversation
20 plus years after getting my tattoos I am so glad I can’t see them because they are on my back. I am well into getting them removed and can’t wait until they are completely removed. They are definitely not meant to be on my body and relate in no way to who I am today.
That is so amazing to read Leigh, having never been drawn to have them myself, I can understand now why people chose to have a tattoo, because it represents something they have attached themselves to and identified with, from a lack of knowing who they truly are. I love your conclusion, that its just not you anymore and it never was! How amazing is it that you have connected to the real you underneath and now no longer require any form of external identification to know who you truly are.
Thats a very cool sharing Leigh, I guess when a tattoo is chosen it is done so as a way to reflect or show who we feel we are. This all seems quite a permanent way to stamp our mark of who we feel we are. I just couldn’t imagine how any tattoo could really reflect who any of us are as we are all quite something and indescribable through the mark of permanent ink.
You know Leigh, I can understand the distraction and see why many young people who are ‘lost or still looking for themselves’ think they want to display their allegiance to this or that for recognition or whatever is the reason, but of late I have noticed while out and about, travelling etc. that there are more and more women in their 50’s and 60’s who are getting their first tattoos. Some remarks I have overheard relate to them still ‘wanting to be seen to be young’ – ‘if the young can do this, then so can I’ etc. etc. In some cases these women were out with their small grandchildren, some in prams and pushers and it reminds me of the impact that the behaviours, patterns and role of the older members in our family can have upon the small children. I can just see it now – little Jessica/Jane/Josephine, 4 years old “I’m going to have a dragon tattooed across my heart – just like Grandma has!”
I feel we have such a responsibility not only to our young family members, but initially to our very selves, feeling and knowing absolutely that we are all deeply far more than the mind will have us believe. It feels to me the responsibility starts with being tenderly reminded that intrinsically we are not only deeply loved, but that our beingness is love, as we come from love. How could there be that sense of hopelessness and emptiness that looks to be filled with outside dark blue ink displays, hoping that these outside images on the body will make us feel that we ‘belong’ to something/someone when we know with a deep knowing that that is not who we are and indeed the fact is we are far more than that.
Calling the fashion of tattoos a way to hide, and an addiction is insightful and wise beyond what we see in most of society. We are so very starved for truly appreciating the unique essence that we bring, and how are body reflects the gorgeousness each of us are. This might sound far fetched, but when we have found so many many ways of creating false worth, like tattoos, piercing, giant stiletto heels, and the list goes on and on… No matter what we try nought but our heart can bring the appreciation and sense of connection we all desire and deserve.
Too true Heather,
Not even if you tattoo hearts all over your body!
Nicole, thank you for sharing this deeper understanding about why you chose to get a tattoo.
If we, as a society realised that the desire for a tattoo was a clear sign that something was not quite right, or missing within us – they would surely not be glamourised as they are today. And tattoos would be purely seen as the demonstration of one’s own emptiness worn on their sleeve, ankle, eyeball or back.
Understanding the underlying cause and repercussions of tattoo addiction is so very needed, and should be part of our education.
Beautifully said Heather…”We are so very starved for truly appreciating the unique essence that we bring, and how are body reflects the gorgeousness each of us are”. Even coming far closer to appreciating the unique essence I am than I ever had before, it still feels a world away some days and on those days, I notice that I need to ‘fill things up’ in a way that the word ‘starving’ fits quite well – it is almost insatiable – not enough food, clothes, cooking etc..can fill what I am trying to fill. Appreciation is the key to return to that….not the many other ways of creating false worth as you say.
I agree Heather this article brings a wisdom we rarely see in society it breaks open the story of ‘I like tattoo’s’ and reveals truth’ I was addicted to tattoos’ in order to not feel and to hide. With more articles like this one we become aware of truth and can begin to take responsibility for our own choices.
Beautiful Judy – more articles like this are very welcome to deepen the understanding of an illusion we have created to be unique without really feeling into the implications on our body.
Beautifully said Heather. We have been truly starved of knowing our real and beautiful essence and the varying degrees self abuse we invent in order to manufacture a self worth that already resides within is a quite painful to witness. Nicole is the first person I have heard nominate tattoos as an addiction and it is a real wake up call. Something we see as being so innocent has a much deeper impact on us than we truly understand. What is truly going on in our society that we can regard permanently damaging our skin as a fashion craze rather than seeing it for the self harm it truly is.
“What is truly going on in our society that we can regard permanently damaging our skin as a fashion craze rather than seeing it for the self harm it truly is?” is a question really worth asking. If more people were really honest about why we do such things – as a protection against hurts – at least we would begin to see the rot we have allowed to be the norm in every day life. When we are made of love but all that is reflected to us is not loving and then chose to abandon the fact that we are love in order to fit in .. it is pretty devastating to live with. So rather than admit this fact we choose to cover it up and pretend that we are getting tattoos, or drink alcohol, take drugs, over work, push hard for recognition, drop out, lack a commitment to life because we like it!
Yes… it is a deep longing to know ourselves again.
However not in the true sense, more of a cheat step, to avoid the question why we turned away from our innate gorgeousness in the first place.
Nicole thank you for writing honestly about your relationship with your body and how tattooing became an addiction for you. Before reading your post I hadn’t fully appreciated that tattooing can be addictive. Like all addictions, we can only stop the cycle when we get to feel what lies beneath the drive that pushes us to abuse our bodies. It’s great that with love and self care you have broken free of your addiction to tattoos and can appreciate and embrace the true you.
Hi Nicole This is such a helpful insight you are sharing, I have not ever had a tattoo and would never have thought about the fact that it allowed someone to hide their body – bringing this honesty to the world and showing a whole different side to tattooing – removing the glamour associated with it helps with true understanding. Thank you
I agree Judy, I would never have thought a person would get a tattoo to hide their body. I love the insight Nicole shares – it has brought much understanding for me on this subject.
I have never had a tattoo, although at some stages in my life I have been pondering on if I would like one but never came to the conclusion that I needed one. This will not say that I had a life free from addictions, there where many like alcohol, coffee, working, sports and even a short time ayahuasca shortly before I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I have never considered a tattoo as an addiction but in the way you describe it Nicole Serafin, I can feel the same energy as I had with my addictions. We use it to cover up the emptiness in ourselves and to cover up the responsibility we have to fill our bodies with the love we innately are instead of filling it with something from the outside, that constantly needs to be replenished since it does not naturally belong to us so does not withstand.
This is very true Mary, it is the tattoo I see before the person, therefore consciously or not the tattoo is a cover up, a way of hiding yourself from view in plain sight. Having a tattoo is an embellishment of who we are, and while in the past I might have fleetingly considered getting a tattoo I would consider now that I don’t need to embellish, change, alter or hide who I am. While it is a personal choice what I feel is needed is a fresh look at what getting a tattoo is really all about, that is why this blog is so refreshing as it is written by someone, Nicole who has experienced this process and been real and honest in exposing what getting a tattoo really meant for her.
If we think that tattoos beautify the body, then we must have thought the body was ugly without them, which indicates a lack of self love and lack of self worth. Thinking that tattoos make you “more” in some way is an illusion.
I like the point you make here Marianna. I always used to have problems reconciling that I was in a physical body at all – for me somehow it never felt right despite liking my body and its shape. Before Universal Medicine however, I can honestly say that I did not deeply appreciate it and rather took it for granted. Whilst I never considered getting a tattoo I can certainly relate to the lack of self love and worth. Post Universal Medicine and well into my 40s my body is not as it once was but I can honestly say that I have never appreciated it more!
Agreed Nico, filling ourselves up with something on the outside, and not re-connecting to the love we innately are on the inside, will always, forever be a bottomless pit, always needing more and more and we become more desperate every time the next ‘hit’ doesn’t work.
Coming back to love and appreciating ourselves is the only way.
I love how you have expressed here Nico about tattoos – “We use it to cover up the emptiness in ourselves and to cover up the responsibility we have to fill our bodies with the love we innately are instead of filling it with something from the outside…” Yes indeed this is a very true and powerful statement and one I can attest to having gained a tattoo in my early 20’s.
I can relate to this too, as in getting a tattoo in my early twenties was certainly based on everything that was going on outside of myself. If I had been accepting of myself back then I would never have considered a tattoo.
So true Nicole and Sally. I too got a tattoo for myself based on things that were happening at the time – it felt like some form of grandiosement. So untrue and arrogant of me, and I too am looking to have it removed.
Susan, I can’t tell you how painful and yet awesome it is to have the tattoos removed, I am about half way through the process. The emotional pain I feel with each removal session has been unbelievable. I will never be getting a tattoo ever again.
This raises the issue of ALL the substitutes we engage in to to not connect with the true love and beauty that we are. The tragedy is that we begin to doubt our selves in the first place! Thank God for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the reflection of true love that honours and calls forth that same love in every person, equally.
Yes, thank God for Serge Benhayon for shining a light on the fact that we are needy, empty because we do not love ourselves enough and thus we fill up this lack of love or void with anything we can and today we see many, many people receiving tattoos and glorifying them.
Absoulutely Bernadette, I am just sitting in bed this morning, having a cry as I finally allow myself to feel the hurt that is there to be felt, and, although I too do have Tattoos (also covering up sadness) the particular substitute I recognized at the moment that I have used to not feel is men and crushes as a distraction ??
Your blog Nicole provides much for a person to ponder over as the concept of tattoos being linked to one’s self worth or lack of self acceptance is very foreign to most. Tattoos have been seen as ’empowering’ or ‘unique’ but now there is another way to see them and the activity of ‘inking’. Thanks for going there.
I agree Suzanne, it makes sense what Nicole writes. I never understood the point of tattoos and find many of them disfiguring – like a distorted view of the person. There has to be a really strong benefit for people to go through with tattoos and Nicole gives a good reason for that.
I agree, the mindset around tattoos is a strong one, like with music it has almost become its own culture. I believe getting a tattoo is a personal choice, but what Nicole has shared is a way of looking at why a person might be getting the tattoo, and that by being honest and looking at this, a person could learn to look at tattoos in a completely different way.
This is a great sharing Nicole, I really like how you are honestly letting us know of this part of your life.
People choosing tattoos are appealing to me to be very tuff and having a hard life. It always felt wrong to me to penetrate ink into the deep layers of the skin, and the pain that goes with the procedure has never felt right to me.
Tattoos have become out of control in society.
Is that because society has become out of control with ITSELF, looking for more extreme ways to draw attention to itself by seeking recognition and attention by disfiguring or ‘adorning’ our bodies in a painful and un-natural way. We are enough as we are and we won’t realise that as a society until we start to love and appreciate ourselves. Could it be that underneath every tattoo there is a deep yearning for love and to be loved.
Yes we cannot and do not realise the (true) value of us, until we start to love us – through self-acceptance.
I read in the paper last week the latest craze emerging of owners inking their pet dogs too. Crazy. And shows the might of avoidance and resistance to love to project and inflict what I would say is an ‘illness’ onto pet animals under the guise of ‘coolness’.
Marianna I agree fully with you. Someone has just opened a tattoo parlour in our town. As we are close to the home of the British Army, will we see all the new army recruits queuing up for tattoos, along with the local youth.
I agree everyone, it seems to me getting Tattoos is a health hazard that has not been picked up by doctors or the health system and no doubt will not for many life times yet, however this addiction is an epidemic similar to the plague.
It is interesting that you mentioned this Mike. There is a new tattoo parlour that has just opened a street away from a local high school.
Strategically opened up by the sound of it Mike, to prey on those who will be open to a tattoo.
I agree! its crazy how prevalent they have become and in so short a time frame too! I cant see why people are so complacent about them- they are permanent and quite disfiguring and very painful and costly to remove. I am so glad I have never been drawn to them, never felt they were for me.
Yes Rebecca the tattoo culture is very strong. Its about opening up the conversation and people’s perceptions of tattoo’s and the reasoning behind their choices with a new light and Nicole’s blog highlights that perfectly.
The tattoo culture is alien to me, having grown up in another era but I do understand the need to cover up, to hide who we truly are. In the past it could have taken the form of excessive politeness or strict etiquette that denied the expression of feelings. No matter our choice of cover up what is important is reconnecting to ourselves thus shedding the protection as we rediscover who we are meant to be.
I love the way you have drawn the comparison with tattoos and excessive politeness. On the surface they don’t seem to have much in common. However they are both ways of presenting something on the surface. It doesn’t really matter the means we use, as it all has the same result of not being who we are.
Yes, its not truly expressing anything to have a tattoo on our body, its an attempt to rebel and push people away, but tattoos don’t really speak, they kind of cry or glare or give the finger- but don’t say what the hurt feelings are within them. I have known friends to go through a painful experience and then to choose to tattoo their bodies from that emotional standpoint. I wonder if this really brings any saving grace or keeps them locked into that emotional low point somehow, or defined by things that went wrong?
Agreed Suzanne – this is a great conversation to be having… to explore the link between self worth and tattooing. Indeed it’s a conversation we could be having about any number of other activities such as alcohol, drugs, smoking, sport etc… exploring what is underneath activities that have us doing things to our bodies that are less than gentle and less than self care. Why is it that we now herald many of these activities that are actually harming the body.. often overridng what our bodies are telling us… could it indeed be that many of these behaviours result from a lack of self worth in preference to the self confident activities we make them out to be.
“Indeed it’s a conversation we could be having about any number of other activities such as alcohol, drugs, smoking, sport etc…”, I agree Angela, it was only today that I was having a conversation about my motorcycling days and how I used it as a form of distraction and escapism, and it was hard on my body which I ignored. This could apply to many sports and activities as well as tattoos, as I feel if we truly loved and cared for ourselves and felt we were enough, we would not feel the need for this kind of abuse to our bodies. I nearly had a tattoo once, when I was in my early 50’s just after I got divorced, I felt it was a kind of rebellion, drawing attention to myself, in the end I realised that it just wasn’t me so I didn’t go through with it, but I can feel the draw and it nearly hooked me in.
This is interesting Sandra, Angela and Suzanne, the fact that tattoos are connected to self-empowerment. Why do people need tattoos ? It seems it is to show that they exist and that they are worth it. But surely self-empowerment comes from within when we realise that there is no grander love than the love that we have for oneself. And when there is full acceptance and love for oneself then tattoos become redundant.
Spot on Maryline, true self worth comes from the grandness of who we truly are on the inside, and when that is connected to tattoos become redundant, and so do the many things that we like to distract ourselves with to take us further away from who we truly are, glorious Sons of God.
I was aware that when I nearly had a tattoo I wanted to aggrandise my body on the outside because I didn’t feel enough on the inside, I did the same with having more ear piercings, I just wanted to make myself feel “better” instead of connecting to who I truly was, because at the time I had no idea WHO I truly was.
Thanks to Universal Medicine now I do, and I if I want to feel the gloriousness and preciousness of me I just go within and connect to that feeling on the inside, something everyone can do if they choose. Beats having a tattoo any day.
As soon as I read the word self empowerment, it felt key to what is going on underneath the desire to have tattoos ( and the inability of many to stop getting them). I have never wanted to have a tattoo but if I did it would to make me feel more somehow, to be special or to stand out. But mostly I can feel it would bring a temporary boost to my self-confidence ( even though it is a false form of confidence). This shows me that what people are really seeking is to feel confident within themselves, to feel they are worthy and special. How ironic that we already are, we just live in a way that keeps us from knowing it!
Great point Sandra, we could apply many activities that are so common as a means of numbing and distracting ourselves. Something that I invested in for many years was yoga and it was a means of numbing myself. Although it appeared to be about connecting to the body and that was what I thought I was doing, What I really was doing was distracting myself from feeling the depth of what was going on in my body. The type of yoga I practise these days is Esoteric Yoga which is about truly connecting and feeling my body.
I too neatly got a Tattoo at about 35. Looking back at this time I feel that I was starting to truly feel the emptiness of my life, my children were growing up some and it seemed that I was no longer needed as I was when they were little. At this time I had not connected to the fact that I felt empty because I had no love or respect for myself. Prime feelings to go looking for a Tattoo. However I never went through with it. Some how each time I got close something stopped me, for this I am grateful.
Leigh, my experience was very similar; at about 40 I felt I probably should get a small tattoo, as it seems to be the ‘in’ thing. As I have always had a bit of difficulty with commitment and making decisions, I could never decide what to get, and where…..too many decisions. Now I’m glad I did just let it be, but it wasn’t because I loved myself so much. These days I have a much better appreciation of myself, and I would not get a tattoo for any reason. It’s so great to be discussing what is going on, as it really is out of control; so many people feel they need to have tattoos to be ok.
I nearly got a tattoo at the age of 40. It was a significant age for me, and 40 meant the start of going down hill and becoming old and unseen. The tattoo represented me remaining hip and trendy and ‘with it.’ I’m glad I did not get the tattoo after all. My experience and many the comments on this blog highlight for me that tattoos are linked with poor body image and lack of self worth.
Interesting points about age here.. I’ve spent a lot of my life craving to be older and hide away in that, so as to not have to stand out in the world and stand up for what I can feel, to hide away and not have to take responsibility for just being myself and bringing that to the world. But it’s not the age that causes this, but our relationship to growing older, being old.. and when we start to let go of those pictures of what all that means for us, we realise we can shine at any age – and that it can only come from the inside.
It was when my third and final child was 2 and I had just finished breast feeding that the ‘hook’ to tatto my body really grabbed me. In hindsight, I can see how this happened so clearly. As a family we were out to lunch, I had a glass of red wine and so was disconnected from myself. The words “I am going to get a tattoo” came out of my mouth. In that moment I remember it was like looking on from above and wondering, “where did that come from”?. I had never before even thought of getting a tattoo. I also recall the shocked look on the face of my 11 yr old sons face. This was out of character for his natural living mum.
I went ahead with it, taking 6 months to research where and what etc. It gave me a project and a purpose other than getting pregnant again. I used the story of the tattoo as a replacement for what I now know could have been just a simple and loving decision to celebrate the children I had and a choice not to have any more.
I also relate to the addictive nature of the pain and excitement and false short boost of self confidence a tattoo brings. I too was planning more but thankfully never went through with it.
Mary-Lou – thanks for your honest sharing. I’d love to hear your story extended into a blog. I feel more needs to be said about the negative impact of tattoos from those who have chosen to get tattoos; to then expose the falsity of gaining self confidence and self worth. What are the longterm effects?.
You are right, there is much to be explored here with the link of self worth and the lack of self worth in preference to the self confident activities we make these (alcohol, drugs, sport etc.) out to be. So writing this now I am seeing maybe first we need to explore why we have a lack of self worth in the first place? Universal Medicine continually sheds a light on such subjects/topics.
Prior to attending Universal Medicine presentations I didn’t even consider or use the word self-worth. It wasn’t on my radar at all. And I have to admit it has taken years to even begin to feel what self worth is even about. Doesn’t this go to show all the layers we have accumulated to not even realise that self-worth is key to returning to our truth once again.
This is true Vicky, and I can recall that to use the word ‘self-worth’ (lack of), was only assigned to those who (I thought/thought by others too) were typically with some sort of weakness, or suffering from abuse, and certainly not an established, confident, successful, or suit-wearing professional, like myself or indeed the people I came across in my job as a Recruiter. I have seen deep levels of low worth in the most senior positioned, successful, even good looking people, to make ‘self-worth’ nothing at all to do with what job we do, how we look, or come across as being. Developing self-love opens the door to see these levels of fake worth we have invested in, to then establish a clear sense of true self-worth: living free as the real-us, unaffected, governed only by the truth and love we live.
I would never have considered myself as having lack of self worth either. I thought this term was for down and outs like drug addicts or alcoholics. I thought I was doing great with my good education, my job, nice home and all the other things that tick societies boxes. But beneath my nice suit I have come to find I did and still do have self worth issues. Just becoming aware of them has been eye opening, and I have become more humble as I see many of us dont live life to the full because of doubts and fears about ourselves not being good enough. As you say Zofia, ‘Developing self-love opens the door to see these levels of fake worth we have invested in, to then establish a clear sense of true self-worth.’
Yes a Vicky it definitely is a process of peeling back layers of patterns and old choices to reveal the truth we all hold within. That is where the real healing lies.
Vicky I did not use this term either but I was painfully aware of my inadequacies and of not fitting anywhere. I lived with a persistent feeling of malaise. My particular addiction was to withdraw from life, burying myself in books. This was the best way to avoid being scrutinised and for me to compare myself to others. Universal Medicine is helping emerge from this deep well.
I was the same Vicky. If someone had asked me what I meant by self worth I would have mentally scrambled to come up with something as close to what I thought would be in a dictionary as I could. My understanding would have certainly been limited to ‘out there’ and not ‘in here’. This perception has been steadily changing as layer after layer is exposed but the sheer fact that there is so many layers to dig through shows the sheer depth to which true self worth has been buried. When I consider this, it makes it easy to understand how tattoos and other addictive behaviours easily grow unchecked.
True Jane, beautiful that you have discovered this and chosen to remove the tattoo. It must have been a real healing.
Absolutely Jane. Society protects tattoos as individualism and expression but it is interesting that many people without tattoos see those with tattoos as less attractive. At the end of the day is it about accepting that we are enough in our bodies just as we are – and that marking ourselves will not define us, will not express what there is to express. One you break this layer – it is then important to look at what a tattoo actually does to the body – and how a needle needs to puncture 1-2mm deep to place ink in the cells within our connective tissue that our white blood cells find too big to move or destroy. Wow what a process that needs to be brought to out awareness.
I agree, this is a topic worth exploring. Before I read this blog I had never heard anyone mention the possibility that getting tattooed could be linked to how we feel about ourselves. These are the types of conversations that are worth exploring as a great many people are choosing body art; it’s become ubiquitous but what might it really be telling us. I also love that we can consider other activities and pastimes in relation to how we feel about ourselves, after all how we feel will always strongly relate to what we do.
Absolutely Stephen how we feel will relate to what we do and how we treat ourselves and others. Self worth is crucial in building to turn around negative habits, addictions etc.
I agree with you here, we can all learn so much about ourselves when we talk and share about topics like this. At the end the tattoos are just a way of self distraction and shutting down the feelings.
For me Stephen, the urge for wanting a tattoo was to fill some need in me that wasn’t being met elsewhere. Yes you could say the same about a lot of things, using them to fill our emptiness and/or draw attention to ourselves because we don’t feel enough just as we are. It comes down to loving ourselves, and if this is not felt then we go to great lengths to find something that will provide a solution and make us feel ‘better’. Could it be that damaging our bodies by having a tattoo, is actually a form of self hatred, it says to the world, “look at me, I am not enough as I am”, something to ponder further why we should choose to abuse ourselves in this way.
Sandra, you make a very interesting point. How many people would proceed to have tattoos if they were able to reflect on the fact that the tattoo would in fact say, not ‘ hey I am cool’, but ‘look at me, I don’t know that I am enough as I am, and I am feeling pretty empty and desperate right now’, or simply ‘please please look at me, and see me’.
It is worthy of consideration that tattoos are self abuse, while it is a respected personal choice I always feel we have much to gain when we look deeply at why we do the things we wish to do. To me a tattoo is an extreme choice and deserves a lot of this consideration to ensure we are clear on our reasons.
Definitely Stephen, the subject of tattoos goes deeper than I just want a tattoo. There is connection between identification (self worth) and tattoos.
And there is always in front of us a very real opportunity to explore this in relation to many of our lifestyle choices, I used to drink too much to escape from life, and used sport in the same way, there is always something there to fill our lives if we let it, but it seems far better to feel more deeply why we really want to do the things we do.
Same for me Stephen, I never heard someone before share on a blog that getting a tattoo was related to how we feel about ourselves. I have heard people say that once they had a tattoo they thought that had accepted themselves. As you share Nicole, I can feel that that ‘acceptance’ is actually just a cover up, not a real change.
Yes Ariana , and great by naming tattooing for its addictive nature.
Yes it does and we often avoid to feel
It. Honesty is a good marker if we want to get out of any addiction.
Yes Ariana, I have heard lots of people talk about being addicted to getting tattoos. Many have it covering large parts of their bodies and its also common now to see tattoos on the face. Its as if these individuals don’t wont to be seen for who they are and are hiding their true selves in some way.
I agree Angela, I noticed this recently with a cancer project that was being advertised. Every fundraiser they wished to do seem to involve an extreme activity where the participants would need to push their body’s to raise money for the cause. It seemed counterintuitive and rather ironic that to try and “fight” cancer we are choosing a level of disregard similar to what may have caused the cancer in the first place. Imagine if we are more caring for our body we wouldn’t need to fight anything and we might just not have that same desire to tattoo our bodies.
Yes Angela, how is it that so many harming activities, drugs, piercings, body mutilations are becoming so widespread and more extreme. and how is it that more are not asking the question of why? Maybe now is the time to have that conversation.
Yes Anne Cummings and with the recent research highlighting the harming effects blogs such as these are a great read in understanding how we can be influenced by so many societal ideas and beliefs that do not always support ourselves to live levels of health and wellbeing.
Yes Angela the link between WHAT we do and HOW we look is favoured over WHO we are.
The way we override the body to a point of harm and disregard is for what reason?
These activities are not self caring, yet we continue to champion them as important, cool or popular.
Self worth is low whilst self harm is high.
Where to from here?
Yes I agree Angela, we take up certain activities like sport, alcohol or drugs which give us a false sense of confidence when all along they are harming our body, all because we do not want to feel and take responsibility for what is actually going on in our bodies. We need to call out the distractions we use, thus we will be easier to listen to our bodies and make different, more loving choices.
Yes I agree Suzanne, Nicoles blog is amazing and provides a lot to ponder for everyone – especially for people who want to start to have a tattoo – it breaks the old ideals and beliefs about tattoos – wunderbar.
I agree Suzanne, Nicole’s blog has opened up a different aspect aspect of tattooing that I had not considered before.
Me too, I had not considered that either, very eye-opening.
A great sharing Suzanne, Understanding that lack of self work and self acceptance is a modern day plague it is no wonder that tattoos have become out of control. Having had one removed I can definitely relate to why people get them in the first place.
In having a tattoo, that I am now having removed, I can absolutely feel that I thought it was cool, unique etc but it was only covering up my lack of self worth and a lot of sadness that I did not want to feel. I can’t tell you how relieved I am to know that it is being removed and that what I did not deal with 20 years ago can now be healed.
Beautiful Sally this is wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
Well said Sally and thanks for your honesty – there are so many things we do, when we don’t want to feel the feelings in our body, which are not nice. To get a tattoo is just one way of overriding our feelings.
I.agree Suzanne – it’s important we are having these conversations, because not only is the activity of ‘inking’ becoming more and more acceptable at the same time as it’s becoming more and more extreme, but many other body modifications including piercing, inplants etc are also being taken up in the same way. The question that therefore must be asked, is what level is our self-worth at and what is it we are really wanting to avoid by such extreme behaviors which are becoming more and more socially acceptable and so called ‘normal’, – when in fact they are anything but reflective of who we truly are.
One just has to walk down any street and become bombarded with a selection of piercing and tattoo shops. For many one simple tattoo has now become a collection. Often hearing people already speak about the next tattoo they will be saving up for whilst having one done in the parlour. The rates of increase are by far showing a trend that more is not enough and that there is a desperate need to outdo the last experience.
I can see very clearly now how my two tattoos were done at at time when I was trying to carve an identity for myself and also trying to bury and not take responsibility for what I was actually feeling. There was a feeling of being rebellious (at least at the time) and throwing caution to the wind when I got them, like I had joined a secret club or something.The truth of the matter was that I had just joined the club of disregard for myself, not feeling the worth of my body and really understanding that this body is under my care, not something to do with it whatever it is that I want.
Agreed Suzanne. I remember when i was growing up and associating tattoos with bikie gangs and the like. Now they are such common place that people from all walks of life, all ages and all progressions have them. But has anything really changed about why we get them in the first place – and that the lack of self worth remains the key, but simply that we have become masters at masking this fact…
Great question, do tattoos subjugate us and not make us empowered to be individual free thinkers display our chosen form of expression. Is it the very opposite of the free choice we believe we are making that is actually happening. Are we held captive by the energy of the tattoo artist in what or how they impose the ink on the body. Worth considering if we are getting a tattoo, everything is after all everything.
I agree Suzanne, it is nice to hear from someone that made that choice and reflect on the possibility that there are deeper drivers behind it, beyond simply liking the look of something. It makes me wonder about the popularity of tattoo’s and what it might say about society more generally.