My relationship with TV started long ago when I was a child and it was only when I stopped watching TV that I realised how all consuming this relationship had been in my life.
I remember the development from viewing childhood and educational learning programs to cartoons, music video shows every Saturday morning, Australian and American sitcoms each evening, movies (that I would watch religiously over and over and over again!) and the gradual progression into reality TV shows, renovation, gardening and cooking programs or documentaries and news on current world events.
TV was my religion; it was a big part of my life as I rarely went a day without watching something. It formed a ritual and a way of living that was religious to me.
In my 20’s, technology made it easier to ensure I never missed an episode of my favourite show and I would record my programs if I was working late or if I went on holidays and needed to catch up as soon as I returned.
Television was my ‘down-time’, my ‘relax-time’ at the end of a busy or emotional day and it was my best friend when something stressful was going on that I certainly did not want to feel. I would arrive straight home from work and turn on the TV, keeping it switched on to help me switch off until that last minute before sleep. Many times I would even stay up longer than I really felt to just to see the climax of the program and how the story would end. I was living my life through the characters on the screen and used the drama and distraction to get me through the day.
The truth is I was religious with a lot of things, not only TV. There were sweets and fast food and the current top hits in music too. I was living in a way that was completely committed and dedicated to these things. I could hold a conversation with another about an episode or repeat all the words from Grease, Mary Poppins or The Simpsons when I was young, but I certainly couldn’t have an intimate or truthful conversation about what was really going on or what I truly felt. Because of this I always felt an emptiness and a lack of self-love within that I worked tirelessly to fill – with TV, stimulation or entertainment and food; most commonly using all at the same time.
I was missing the deeply loving and religious relationship with myself that I knew was possible.
When we consider that the true meaning of Religion is about being in relationship and returning to the love we truly are, these days I live religiously in a very different way. From my choices to bring more self-love into my life, I began to spend more time truly living and not just checking-out from life – I began to live religiously with love and with me.
My life is not about what’s happening on the screen anymore; it’s not about watching fictitious characters live their emotional drama as I watch in suspense and from my own withdrawal, but instead a way of living where I am now living from my own heart’s centre and not through others.
My commitment and purpose is now about living a loving and healthy relationship with me, so that I can bring this quality to others too. This means viewing and bringing an understanding to what is going on for and around me, and choosing to allow my natural awareness to be felt and honoured, instead of trying to shut it out or override it with any form of distraction.
The self-loving way I choose to live now is about cherishing who I am and bringing all of me to everything that I do, where I go, how I am in my relationships with other people and taking care of myself and my body by eating well and making truly nurturing choices. It’s definitely not about checking-out on the couch anymore, with the remote in one hand, TV guide in the other, an unhealthy meal choice in front of me and a rather sluggish approach to life!
TV once dictated how I spent my time – how I spent my evenings with my family, how I planned my day and at what time of night I would eventually go to bed. I based my life around TV rather than true love.
It is now great to be choosing a religious way of life that is not about entertainment value but the true value I feel from appreciating how sensitive and acutely aware I am in my day and thus giving myself the chance to actually feel this and read a situation for what it is. In 2010 I moved home and gave my TV away. It has actually felt natural to let go of a religious way of living that was not truly supporting me or my relationships, making way for an ever-deepening religious way of life that I now have, rich in connection to my knowing, embracing of life and with an openness and love for myself and others.
By Cherise Holt, 33, Brisbane
Further Reading:
Socially Accepted Addictions: What’s Really Going On?
Life is religion. What does that mean?
What is true religion?
A TV remote controller puts you under the control of the illusion of what is on the screen.
I’ve not had a TV for years now. However, I work in peoples homes and most of the time they have a TV. It’s been fascinating to see how attractive and attention-grabbing the programs are. Much like a bug zapper they lure you in but don’t kill you, simply drain your energy. But it’s attractive strength is actually an indication of how much I am connected to myself, not that the TV is more powerful than me.
Addicted or addiction was the way I feel about TV. / movies and I am so glad I have moved on and no longer check out in-front of a screen.
It saddens me to see how many young people are addicted to gaming. Seriously this needs to stop, it must be very detrimental for development.
TV has always been a go to distraction for me and with that I’d have my particular flavour which is sci-fi series or detective drama. But what I realised recently is finding myself thinking about the series in my everyday life. It’s like it’s not just a distraction for the time I watch it but, if I’ve gone into watching a series with the intent to not feel what’s going on in my life I’ve let the doors open for whatever it is I watch to percolate inside of me. I do not want to be with the characters in the series for days, even years later!
People are quite surprised when I say I have never owned a television, I know without doubt my life is much richer and loving because I do not have one.
To have never owned a TV is quite unusual considering how addicted we are to it in the modern world. I have stopped watching TV for many years though, however recently I was recovering from a surgical procedure and wasn’t up to doing very much for the first couple of days post operation, so I chose to watch some TV. What I felt in my body afterwards was quite surprising as I had never felt this before… the only way I can describe it was like a feeling of pollution in my body… it was like a thickness that was on a surface layer.
A great choice that I too have made, I love living in this way, ‘The self-loving way I choose to live now is about cherishing who I am and bringing all of me to everything that I do, where I go, how I am in my relationships with other people and taking care of myself and my body by eating well and making truly nurturing choices.’
I’ve realised how I’ve used TV as a substitute for connection with actual people and myself. It’s such a distraction from being alone with me. I’m learning to be with myself and be aware of all that is around me and the more I do this, the less I watch TV.
It’s really interesting to read this article about TV. I grew up with TV being an everyday part of my life, it was on every evening, all evening. As a young adult I started to feel that it was in fact a waste of my precious time to sit and watch TV all evening and that there were other things I would rather be doing. Now I don’t have a TV and don’t miss it, instead I enjoy catching up on work, playing games with my family or getting ready for bed. I love going to bed easily and not with the TV programme going around in my head and I enjoy not staying up late to find out what happens in a film.
I haven’t watched TV for some time and then did and found that I could not sleep. I kept waking up and then felt drained in the morning – it’s just not worth it. The trouble is it’s so addictive because I kept thinking about the show and when the next episode was on.
Television used to be my best friend when I was lonely. The trouble is I used to look for things to watch that would reflect my mood and then feel worse.
Julie OMGoodness how many of us have done this watched something that reflects the mood we are in only to feel worse and the same with music it’s like a over indulgence in emotional drama, that is completely draining on our bodies, so we then feel that we have to eat or drink something to get our energy levels back again. It’s a completely false way of living.
‘I based my life around TV rather than true love.’ If truth is your foundation it takes comfort away.
When we think about it, it’s bizarre to be watching a fictitious story about other people living their lives. The only thing it can provide is escapism from our own lives and a way to not feel our misery.
And social media can be such a distraction too.
Nearly all programs I loved to watch in the past were about making me feel better because the life I had was never as good as what I saw on TV. Mix that in with the emotional stimulation of the news and the escape of the odd cartoon and you have a very hooking and addictive relationship with the TV entirely based on emotional emptiness and need as it is.
To not be ‘hooked’ anymore by the addictive nature of TV has been incredibly liberating, and additionally means there is more time to do things that have a true purpose to them.
I have noticed how the major and all consuming new religion of this era could be said to be the little screen of the mobile phone. As a constant companion, giving us updates and a chance to communicate, it seems to be never far from our hands or our gaze. Perhaps now it is our most worshipped item, but it is worship that does not deliver a divine source from which to understand ourselves and life.
When we religiously turn on the TV or other means of distraction we are wired in to thoughts of others and lose connection to ourselves.
Television is interesting isn’t it because it is soporific as well as stimulating. The quality of our sleep when we fall asleep watching TV or watch a large amount of TV is our own body’s evidence. The question is how willing are we to listen to our body of evidence?
I love how apt the turn of phrase ‘body of evidence’ is!
Distractions are there to be just that, and TV is just one of the many that takes us away from how we are feeling and what we are feeling, it is interesting that anything outside of us that we have a constant relationship with can be looked upon as our religion, when the true meaning of the word is not something outside of us but a reconnection a re bonding to our inner heart, our true essence.
The more we live in this way, the more we inspire and show people that they too can live in a loving and healthy way, ‘My commitment and purpose is now about living a loving and healthy relationship with me, so that I can bring this quality to others too. ‘
What a turn around- TV is so addictive and there has been a massive spike in series – encouraging people to get hooked and buy in to them. So to cut this out is a big deal as it is pretty much an addiction. Your sharing will inspire a lot of people who might be caught up in the hit of the next episode.
One of the definitions of religion is ‘a pursuit or interest followed with great devotion’ which perfectly describes what TV is for so many and how we can make anything into a religion when we are dedicated to finding any distraction that will fill the emptiness of our lack of self-love. Ultimately none of these substitutes ever work and it is only when we choose a religious way of life that is about love that we come to a settlement within ourselves.
The television was also a huge part of my childhood, as it would give me the comfort of companionship that I felt I was missing. And as it had not ever been passed on to me that these relationships with the tv people were not real, that they were fake and so when real life came along and offered me genuine connection with other people, I must admit that I did feel somewhat unprepared.
What we call now religion comes in so many forms… It really does behoove humanity to return to the true essence of this word
I feel that television is more like a drug than a religion because it is so addictive. When there is a screen on anywhere it can be quite difficult to ignore it. I remember times when I have been having a conversation with someone and the tv is on, even though the sound might be switched down so it cannot be heard, the lights flashing on the screen seem to call out for our attention and act as a constant distraction.
Its a weird feeling to be living life through a vicarious pleasure of watching another (pretend or real) on TV. Pure escapism it allows us to be rich, poor, super hero, villain. Whatever tickles our fancy but ultimately takes us away from ourselves.
“TV, keeping it switched on to help me switch off” When we realise that this is the attraction of TV and screens, we have to stop and question what are we switching off from?
Yes, so very true. Remove the distractions that dull us and the truth of what we are feeling will guide us to freely live who we are.
It is sadly convenient that we have bastardised the word religion, and associated it only with going to church, or institutionalised religions, which most of us have a massive reaction to. As with this we dismiss the fact and the responsibility that there are many points of our lives that are lived religiously, such as what you have shared with watching TV as one example. Yet is what we are religious with offering us evolution, or de-evolution? Is what we are religious with deepening our connection to who we are, our Soul, and living with greater love, harmony and awareness of our universality? Such is the true meaning of religion and all that is has to offer us if we are willing to be open to the truth of how we are really living and the impact it has on us and our evolution as a humanity.
Great questions Carola prompting us to take responsibility for what we are choosing.
Carola I really felt the impact of your words
“Is what we are religious with deepening our connection to who we are, our Soul, and living with greater love, harmony and awareness of our universality? Such is the true meaning of religion and all that is has to offer us if we are willing to be open to the truth of how we are really living and the impact it has on us and our evolution as a humanity.”
We think we think but we do not and so what energy are we choosing that takes us away from our soul by constantly distracting us by keeping us all in the motion of life rather than feeling the deep stillness of our multidimensionality.
Oh dear, I think on that basis we are religious about so many things that are not related to God! (the most readily accepted word connected to religion) If we apply your logic then we have to include sport, food, socialising, pretty much every addiction we can think of! However, to consider that our relationship with ourselves could have that same level of commitment and dedication has a wonderful expansive feeling in my body, so it is time to consider the rituals that would be part of that religious commitment and build a new foundation.
There is a really interesting cross reference here Lucy…. if you were to ask an avid football fan if sport was their religion I suspect you would get a positive response, equally I suspect that it would meet the criteria of addiction as well!
Come rain or shine I would be there on the couch to watch that show – i’d never miss it and looked forward to the time like seeing a cherished old friend. I can see today Cherise how if we bring love to life every moment becomes something we appreciate, enjoy and will never attempt to escape from.
When I give workshops on self-care watching television is usually seen as a relaxing thing to do. Something that takes peoples mind of their daily stress and worries and what gives their bodies a rest. Hardly anyone is willing to own up that it influences the quality of your sleep, that you often get sucked in and go to bed too late, because you override the signals of the body when you are focussed on/in the story on the screen.
The other things that influence the quality of my sleep so deeply are food and how I have been with myself and others during the day.
I used to love watching movies and series on television and certainly used that to fill up empty and uncomfortable feelings inside. I felt addicted and like I couldn’t stop watching on a daily basis and certainly not after stressful situations. But after coming home from a Universal Medicine course in Australia 1.5 year ago it was all of sudden gone. I never watched television after that and love the quality of my sleep nowadays.
I also want to add to my previous comment that there was a time when if you had visitors the TV would be switched off, but not anymore – it’s invited into the conversation and is often the focal point.
I visit people in their homes as part of my job, and this TV thing is a big thing. In a weekend I might come across one person who does not have their TV on 24/7, but everyone else is glued to the box. It has become the number one relationship in our lives, and we would defend it at all costs.
I have been choosing to bring this into my life more and more, ‘The self-loving way I choose to live now is about cherishing who I am and bringing all of me to everything that I do, where I go, how I am in my relationships with other people and taking care of myself and my body by eating well and making truly nurturing choices.’ Awesome to hear Cherise.
‘It has actually felt natural to let go of a religious way of living that was not truly supporting me or my relationships, making way for an ever-deepening religious way of life that I now have, rich in connection to my knowing, embracing of life and with an openness and love for myself and others. ‘
TV has been a part of my life since a child. It was there for me when I felt alone and lonely, it was my ‘friend’ and companion – a kind of connection to all those in the programmes that felt like family. If I reflect on the programmes I go for the most, they are the ones with that family feel – it may not be obvious but it’ll be there in the connections of work colleagues etc.
Today I realised that I chose TV ahead of my feelings. I’ve tried to make life superficial like in the programmes where life seemed so simple. I tried to dissociate myself away from the very real feelings I felt that I never communicated to those around me after a few failed attempts to do so. So then I looked to TV for comfort and solace in what felt like dark times. Choosing to ignore my feelings and watch TV prevents intimacy with self and others. I am now returning myself to me though sometimes this feels a bit yucky because those original hurts have still to be healed, I am now saying yes to life with all its depth, and letting go of the superficial screen that was TV and wasn’t at all real.
What is fascinating to read here is how we can plan our lives around TV – and how this is a pretty common thing. After just returning from the US, I saw the hundreds of channels that they had and how there was always something on. You could literally spend the whole day watching it, which reinforces the addictive nature of TV and how we think we need it. This blog shows that actually if we look behind what is the driver for TV, we can find out a bit more about how we are truly feeling and what we think we are missing in our lives.
I can so relate to what you shared here. My life was absolutely determined by TV programs as well, it was a reward and I was living from one program to another. It is great to read your blog, feeling into me now, where I come from and appreciating the long path I already walked away from a life that was based by distraction away from my emptiness with entertainment and raciness to stillness, confirmation and connection to myself..
I used to fall asleep all the time on the couch, I thought it was Ok even though I woke up fully dressed, exhausted, ratty with myself for not taking myself to bed. I would numb myself so I didn’t need to feel how bad I felt and so the pattern went on. I think the turning point for me was when I realised it was not fun, not what I wanted and really allowed myself to feel how bad I felt then it was the slow walk back as I learn to notice the signs of feeling tired and developing a bedtime ritual that I actually looked forward to. Whether I am tired or not, this bedtime ritual has stayed and deepened and I find this is what called me to change my, what I can now call, abdication of responsibility to myself and my personal level of self-abuse. When it is time, you know, and everything in you calls for that change.
I wonder how many people can relate with this if they are being absolutely honest, ‘I always felt an emptiness and a lack of self-love within that I worked tirelessly to fill – with TV, stimulation or entertainment and food; most commonly using all at the same time.’
That was absolutely true for me and what a celebration to be able to speak about this in the past: WAS true, not any more.
As a kid each night after dinner my family and I would often watch a tv show. It was the only time that we were often together in the same room. We didn’t really speak much to each other and never opened up with how we felt, yet this was my normal and I enjoyed the tv shows. My life is quite busy now and I don’t have a lot of spare time, each night we have dinner together as a family and afterwards we often sit around and talk about what we experienced in our day. I enjoy the quality of this much more as I go to bed with a sense of settlement and a feeling of connection in the house.
In my family I experienced exactly the same! It looked like being connected, but we weren´t. We ticked the box of eating and watching TV together, but there was no actual interest in each other in a deeper sense- no true connection. The TV was then just a logical result of this disconnection, as everyone could be showered by a TV program and check out with it.
TV is such an easy way to be together but distract away from the potential intimacy we could be having between us. I know I’ve had first dates as cinema dates, or ones involving drinking and eating. Once being with people without distractions used to freak me out, and though I do like a structure to being with others, I’m feeling how wonderful being open and honest, intimate – i.e. sharing who we are with another is. What freaked me out was knowing the next level of intimacy and sharing could never be forgotten and indeed it could be the bedrock to a relationship that if never dropped below would only build.
Lots of religions take communion and involves many practices. The religion of TV has its own props: TV trays to eat from, easy chairs that adjust to cause no discomfort to the body, refrigerated liquid dispensing devices and caddies to hold a multitude of other required sacred religious items like the remote control. My life is a lot less cluttered by no longer worshipping the uninvited guest that grew to 50” before I showed it the door.
When watching TV, there is a sense of losing yourself, not being aware of the body and its a bit like being taken over. At the end of the program or film, when the stimulation has ended, the only option to is feel where you are at and often, I have felt a feeling of emptiness and drain.
TV communicates so much more than we are consciously aware of. Because of my sensitivity now I can feel what vibrations are coming through the screen whilst watching even only tiny bits of a program and how it does want to affect my purity if I am not aware and cautious with it.
Television is great – when you have nothing else to do.
I do wonder what it was like back in the day when there was no television and how the family units were because of this. I can imagine that they were more interactive with each other. As you share how the television was what you worked your life around this instantly has an impact on the family. I haven’t owned or had a television for a very long time and I haven’t missed it one little bit. Know, when I am around them I find them super imposing of the space.
It’s quite incredible to look into just how much TV dictated my time whilst I was an addict and avid watcher. I would say up way later than my body wanted to, just to finish watching a program. And whilst watching I would normally be in an exhausted slump. But as I have become more aware of energy the thing that really supported me to stop watching was the feeling of being numbed out and lethargic… it really affected how I operated in the day time.
Yes, I agree. My experience was similar perhaps with the odd adrenaline rush watching something exciting.
TV is the uninvited guest that we allow to become a member of our family. It is also the stray cat that once feed, never leaves. I grew up with B/W TV with three channels. Kid shows were an hour in the mornings during the weekdays and cartoons Saturday mornings. In my teens and 20s, my stereo was king. But then marriage, life and children filled my life. The cat got feed again; TV, kids shows, cartoons re-entered my life, and it never left. My fifty’s there was 247 and hundreds of channels full of reruns of everything and rubbish. I watched just to avoid contact with others. A year ago, I stopped feeding the cat, and it has never come back. In fact its bowl, that big 50” black thing that has sat in the front room for years has now found a new home, to be feed by some else!
Yesterday our 50 inch TV was removed permanently from our house, and then I realised this is the first time as long as I can remember not having a TV in the front room. Growing up the TV was the main focus in our house, and it was always strange if someone said they did not watch TV, and now here we are – TVless. The living room now feels clearer as if something obtrusive has been removed.
In my experience of tv, I found it to be a great replacement for friends but also a hinderance to feeling confident in myself to actually go out and meet people.
My 50” plasma TV has sat under a sheet for almost a year and has not been missed or used. I need the space it occupies. It is currently on eBay looking for a new home. My long-term relationship has ended with the idiot box I allowed in my life.
Makes me wonder what our religion is with when we feel tension in life. Most do not realise they feel tension or at least do not realise just how much they feel as most have a relationship with things in life like food, TV etc that dull tension but do not truly feel and deal with it. A true religion with oneself has a completely different way of dealing with tension through understanding and honesty.
With honesty we get to admit that we are religious with a number of activities we regularly or even devotedly undertake; but just like with organised religion, the question is whether any religiously adhered to pursue truly serves us or not.
It’s amazing after an emotionally tiring day that we think we can unwind with the further emotions induced by the tv programs we watch …
When we are willing to be honest with ourselves we will come to realise that our relationship with religion is a continual activity. But what is worth considering is whether the religion we are engaged with is a true religion, that being one that supports us to grow, evolve and live in connection to our Soul, and with the awareness of all that we are intrinsically part of.
No matter how and how long a TV program can capture my attention, there won’t be anything even more amazing, surprising or transforming than real life.
Television was also my religion. I’d look forward to the end of the day so that I could catch up with my favourite programs. Sometimes, during the day I’d have random thoughts about the programs I had seen. I would watch TV religiously every night and at the weekends. How many hours I was watching a week I am not sure, but this was my comforter and way of escaping the world. What I wasn’t feeling at the time however, was the numbing and dulling that went with it. This definitely affected my sharpness and vitality during the day.
‘I began to spend more time truly living and not just checking-out from life – I began to live religiously with love and with me. ‘ I love this Cherise, I am sure many relationships would thrive and there would be less illness and disease if others began to live this truth each day.
‘I began to spend more time truly living and not just checking-out from life – I began to live religiously with love and with me. ‘ I love this Cherise, I am sure many relationships would thrive and there would be less illness and disease if others began to live this truth each day.
I read a caption the other day that had a child on a couch with a remote and the words, ” I really remember that day watching TV, said no one ever”. Isn’t it so true and we could extend this to all screens, where is the life and the memories we miss when we check out of life in this way.
Television used to definitely be my religion, it used to be how I entertained myself and what I was addicted to. Which I had let go of, but recently I have taken up watching the odd movie or tv series on my laptop. For some reason I wasn’t taking responsibility for the fact that it was still tv, I guess because it was on my laptop, so not the same. But when I have been watching I have felt how much I haven’t wanted to feel the day, not feel what is there to be felt, so distract in watching something to get by, till the next day. What I can feel is that this is an old pattern I have lived in that no longer serves me, so I have been looking at why am I wanting to distract and not look at the watching tv per se as that is just a bi-product of me not wanting to feel. This is an ongoing and unfolding process for sure.
Television has become the “new religion’ of practice worldwide. You just must stop and listen to conversations shared in the work place, home and when socialising with friends. Everything revolves around what is viewed and how we circulate this information. What if we made our lives about the quality we live? I wonder whether we would be impulsed to watch the TV screen as often?
Sometimes I would choose work and relationships etc. over that of Love. In such circumstances realizing and nominating my choices, I would return to choosing Love again, sometimes it takes a while to make a different choice but I would start with not punishing myself for making these choices and to be honest. I know the truth of what Love is what I always want, and in this process I am discovering the way back to it. Sometimes I delay it, sometimes I want to be distracted, sometimes I want to cut all the steps and unsuccessfully fast track, but the purpose is always there, and in trusting my body I am willing to feel my way back.
What you share about checking out with TV is no different to checking out with any other distraction. It is all the same in intent. We are simply not choosing to love ourselves and this is where the true change starts.
We miss out on so much when we fixate on a certain thing like tv or computers to fill the void in our lives, and people say, tv helps me to relax and that they like to curl up on the couch and watch a movie with a loved one, but there is absolutely no connection in that, you are both just basically two isolated people that happen to be sitting next to each other numbly engaged in the same activity.
Yes, true. Sad but true. There is no real connection when watching TV together you are often simply in the same room and the same space. I do enjoy watching something that engenders a conversation throughout though. I can see it is not the medium that is at fault, it is what we are watching and how we are watching it that we need to consider.
The distraction that TV actually gives is not to be underestimated. Imagine a world without TV, where would you go? I know many people have built their lives around TV and when you watch them you notice how much they are influenced by the television and all that it brings, that they are influenced by the news and stories that are brought, like it is true life but it is not. TV is a substitute of real life and brings only a picture of a way of life that is not true and which takes us away from living a real, raw and true life in which we do make our own choice made by ourselves, based on our feelings and intuition and not influenced by all the falsity that is being presented on TV instead.
“Television was my ‘down-time’, my ‘relax-time,” and add to this the drug abuse I was also totally caught in the illusion life can bring. Slowly over many years my life has turned the corner and distractions are being seen for the lies they are, so life has become about learning about true Love. So life is now becoming as you have shared Cherise, “making way for an ever-deepening religious way of life that I now have, rich in connection to my knowing, embracing of life and with an openness and love for myself and others.”
Indeed Greg, we are worth so much more than to spend our valuable time watching TV and and other distraction in life.
It is great to use the word relationship when talking about the way we use our TVs. Some of us give more focus and energy towards our TV than we do to any of the other relationships we have in our lives. We would rather stay glued to what TV is saying than turn and engage with our kids or partners when they speak. If we started to see our TV use as a relationship, it might make us think about the quality of it – is it needy, just for relief, co-dependent and does this reflect the way we negotiate our real relationships with people?
Television, like any other entertainment very easily becomes an addiction as we like the comfort and the relief it brings.
It was not even questioned that you didn’t sit and watch television when you get home, and that it was a sign of being in a family that could afford such luxuries. Looking back I can see how much this interfered with the relationships in the family and going to a deeper place to where they can go. It is one of the ultimate distraction in life.
Cherise I relate to you story well. TV was my go to to check out and like you watched it religiously. I got involved with my favourite programmes, soaps, had my set times I would switch it on, it was my relaxing time, something I would go to if I was upset in anyway. But as I built a relationship with myself and felt with why I was turning to the TV, to buffer how and what I was feeling and what was missing my need for the TV diminished, I also became aware of the energetic effect it was having on my wellbeing. I don’t have a TV anymore and I don’t miss it.
It’s very interesting Ruth reading the comments of all the people who do not watch television any more because they have come to an understanding within themselves that actually television is very addictive and distracting, television can take us into a fantasy world that becomes more real than the life we are living. When that happens then we have really have got a problem.
While I wholeheartedly agree with the points raised in this blog. However I do feel it comes down to the nature of our relationship with television. If we are over-using it, why? Many people here have shared here it has offered them company, stress-relief, reward, a dose of stimulation and so on – it’s very much like the way we can misuse food, for example. But like everything, it must be possible to have a healthy relationship with TV, just as we can with food.
Is doing something religiously, as in the sense of doing something habitually, a good thing, or to be avoided? It all depends what the object of our focus is.
I used to see TV as ‘my time”, deserved relaxation from the stress of life, it like alcohol never delivers what it promises, both false friends, it stimulates and distracts but you are left with a headache and sore eyes, muddled mind and an unsettled feeling. What is it that we need to check out from, to seek these false allies….checking out is not the answer, we all feel a bit empty, restless and tired and we seek something outside us to relieve ourselves….the clue is there….time to look within and reconnect with ourselves.
I thought I enjoyed watching television. But if I were to be really honest, I enjoyed the ‘time out’. I didn’t notice at the time if I was being stimulated, distracted or whether I was avoiding other things. Instead, I thought I was ‘relaxing’ or ‘resting’ without actually feeling what was going on, especially on an energetic level.
It is super interesting to read the progression of your tv watching, from educational children’s shows to eventual reality TV. This makes me wonder what we are setting up for the future of our lives together when television is used to babysit our children, what are we actually teaching them and what kind of future will this create?
‘True value’, how we live and why we live, many of us do not consider this in our daily functional life. Living religiously with God is is about a quality of life where the whole is as important as the individual. Practically this means that without perfection, how I live, move etc impacts one everything and when I am in connection with the natural stillness within , then I know I am living religiously. We can become habitually addicted to other forms of distraction and do them all the time, but they feel empty in comparison to feeling connected with the natural stillness that lies within.
Television was once something I turned to without question. It was part of almost every day, especially when I was younger. If the program was a series, I would be looking forward to the next show, no different to anyone with an addiction, looks forward to their next fix. Little did I know the real impact this was having on me and my awareness. And still today I am learning what the medium of television is actually bringing into homes everywhere and the extent of the unseen damage it can do.
I have observed recently that many people I meet when they ask me if I watch television and I say I don’t have one, then immediately try to fill in the gap by assuming I read or listen to the radio, as though there has to be something to fill up the space. When I say no it brings them to a place of almost panic, as though they can’t conceive of it, it is too frightening. There then often ensues a complete swing trying to join me by saying what a lot of rubbish there is on the television, as though that is the reason. The feeling of all that space to be and feel and reflect and move more consciously in life’s choices is so far from the busy pace and complexity of today’s living it seems the gap is too wide to fathom. Yet often I observe that those who respond in this way are trapped in nervous energy and often have multiple symptoms in their bodies. This is such a useful observation as I then have to look at what I am now using to fill up those spaces and what symptoms I am creating in my body, and avoid being the love I am. Anything can be used to fill those spaces where I could take time to open myself up- my heart and connect with my soul.
“I based my life around TV rather than true love.” I wonder how many other people would be honest enough to also admit this for themselves Cherise? And how many of us will put any amount of other things before true love? A large number I suspect.
Cherise, I love what you have presented here – Religion can be used to describe a relationship we have with anything in life, not just God. After all the word itself is to do with a relationship or a re-linking with someone or something. Hence we can be religious with TV, with alcohol, with chocolate and yes, with God. I certainly had a very religious relationship with chocolate and would put this over and above everything else around me. Until such time that I discovered that it did not actually feel great to have to drive to the closest service station late in the evening to pick up a bar of chocolate so that my day would feel complete, and so I could savour the taste in my mouth for a few minutes and then feel like I was buzzing for 2 whole days. There are essentially religious relationships with things that support us and things that don’t. The question is – are we willing to be honest about which religions we have bought into that don’t support us?
It’s scary how much time people spend in front of the TV. It’s not reality. It’s a complete escape. So it begs the question – why do we feel we want to escape?
And what are we escaping from? Could it be possible that our hurts are so deep that it is easier to live in a way that keeps us disconnected from the seeing how we are actually reacting to life and not living life? Then if we respond instead of reacting can we then also bring respect and decency to our life, which sets up a way of moving that opens our body to a nurturing way of living? So with respect and decency we respond to life in a way that allows us to feel our movements, which serve our body, then we can start to heal our hurts!
I have little recollection of the tv programs I watched, just an overview of the fact that I spent time in front of the goggle box. It is certainly less extreme than video games, but there is definitely no memories formed, experiences to cherish. Which makes me wonder what I am getting in front of a TV, if it is not life enhancing is it life dulling. Am I reducing my own potential contribution to society each time I switch on to switch off. That seems like a big responsibility, but certainly a question worth asking.
We have lost the true meaning of the word Religion which as you say Cherise is about retuning or reconnecting to the love we truly are. But then we have lost the true meaning of many words and this has had a detrimental effect on the way we live our lives, just as we have barstardised our words we have also barstardised the way we currently live.
The feeling you get from choosing to watch tv or go on the net is really very addictive and the pull to do those things is strong. But there is no satisfaction with these things because you have to constantly go back to them for the fix which only lasts as long as you are doing them. Whereas when you don’t choose those things, and move in the expansion and absolute joy of being with you, that’s everything.
We can have so many rituals with things in life that allow us to self medicate and numb or stimulate so we don’t feel the tension and disconnection within us.
To hide and not feel the rejections in our life we use a screen. So when we have become numbed by ‘the drama and distraction’ then we can get ‘through the day’.
When we bring a decency and respect to our ‘self-loving ways’ and choose to ‘live by cherishing’ who we are then we can ‘bring all of who’ we are ‘to everything’ that we do, to the best of our ability.
So why do we not want to feel the depth of our emotional hurts, which come from us not wanting to feel our ‘rejection’ could it be that we have emotional hurts that hide the fact that we feel rejection and we deny both. So that when we are religious with television it becomes ‘my ‘down-time’, my ‘relax-time’ at the end of a busy or emotional day and it was my best friend when something stressful was going on that I certainly did not want to feel.’ – And in not wanting to feel the rejection we are hiding in our ’emotional day’ so that we feel ‘stressful’ about how we are living and then get some relief from television?
I would love to see a case study done on the draining effects of the television and its ability to turn fit healthy people into couch potatoes.
Is there not a fit healthy person hiding within all the growing number of unfit couch potatoes? I was one of them!
Where to take this conversation, Steve I so relate, for at times I would spend days riveted to the TV. And would a case study of how we as couch potato Heads, (pot. head) serve humanity as this would bring up so much for people who are in their own reality and are finding their own way into the distraction of their choosing! Also the multi-nationals who pull all the purse strings would not look the other way as they have so much invested in people being potheads. So is it possible all we need to do at this time is be a reflection that brings a different reality to the potheads, and start to gather data on those who are shifted away from the draining affects of TV.
Making the choice to stop watching TV about 3 years ago has changed my life. The amount of time wasted in front of a screen for no purpose other than to have a rest from life became obvious, Life is a million times more interesting than any Tv programme. I find it fascinating that there are so many soap and reality TV programmes about peoples lives such as Home and Away or Eastenders, we are far more interested in checking out and watching other people’s made up lives than we are checking in with our own life.
‘TV once dictated how I spent my time – how I spent my evenings with my family, how I planned my day and at what time of night I would eventually go to bed’ – Isn’t this crazy, how a distraction and screen can actually determine our entire lives… When we put more value on a TV show or movie than we do our own lives, relationships and families we really are at the mercy of a) our need to check-out from life and b) the media industry.
We learn to truly appreciate the intimacy and connection with ourselves when we have truly felt the devastation of the lack of this relationship we have with ourselves in life. We all come to such a point some time in our lives, and we will come to this point when we are ready and there is support. There are many things in our lives which we have religiously followed without knowing they are harming, for when there is no relationship with ourselves, we can easily convince ourselves that this is what everyone does and why not follow suit and be accepted. We repeat such patterns so often until the messages from our body cannot be further ignored and in that deep unrest and tension, we are also offered a chance to make another choice.
What I get from this is that we are naturally all religious. It is just that we have found ways to be religious that are not loving. TV is a good example – indulging in something where we are totally distracted. What is cool about this sharing is your realisation that as soon as you removed TV, the religious aspect turned into a relationship with yourself. How cool is that.
A tale of watching TV, identifying the involutionary relationship and claiming self-love. I love the article and felt in common in later part of my life. As we realize one thing that is TV in this case which we used as a distraction, the doors opens up to what next? i.e. what else we’re using for distraction?
The TV numbs us so beautifully to not feel the lesser life we have chosen. I never ever thought I would be able to give up my TV but here I am now with no yearnings to catch up with the lasted episode of anything, and my life feels enriched for it.
I remember being so bored when I was younger and leaning heavily on TV to while away the hours. As the youngest I spent many days on my own and rather than engaging with the world, or learning to do things for myself, I simply checked out and wasted literally weeks at a time totally disengaged from life, the universe and everything.
It is very telling when you see a child in a pram have a screen taken away just how addictive television is.
‘I based my life around TV rather than true love.’ I am really appreciating how much more of life there is to live when I do not dull myself down with TV and videos etc.
Yes, that’s really lovely Jane. I am understanding that the more I love myself the more this is reflected in the relationships I have with others and how TV takes me away from all relationships and gave me such superficiality which though felt safe, kept my development retarded.
‘I was missing the deeply loving and religious relationship with myself that I knew was possible. ‘ It is so easy to lose this when we get caught in our surroundings or through distractions but then equally easy to return to when we choose.
Reading your blog I felt a deep appreciation for all the people who are in my life. I would never now choose to get caught up in the lives of the fictional characters in the soap I used to watch. Why would I when I can enjoy the deepening connection and love in my real life friendships?
I was speaking with a couple of people today explaining that since I left my childhood home I have never owned a TV.
I have always felt there is so much more to life then sitting in front of the TV and now thanks to the internet I can search specifically for any topic I may wish to know more about.
When I take a moment and look back on my life, I feel quite sad and empty when I remember how much I dedicated my attention to the TV. So much so that any requirement from my family was done quickly, between adds, or before and after a program. I have come to feel how truly horrible this was and no longer watch TV. The connection, care and love of myself and my family was what I missed out on. Little did I know then, no TV program is worth such a sacrifice.
My colleagues at work are astounded that I don’t have a TV. They say ‘what do you do?’ I say ‘I do so much!’ There is so much we can get done that has true purpose if we are not slouched in front of the TV. To me it is a total waste of time.
I completely agree! We have TVs in our house and it is a wonder anything ever gets done because once they are on they have a hooking almost hypnotising effect, or is that just on me?!
“TV was my religion; it was a big part of my life as I rarely went a day without watching something.” ditto that is exactly what my life was about, it was lived from TV show to TV show, it was something I never considered to be religious as it did not involve a church, however the reality was my living room was the church and the TV the mix of the alter and bible combined. I substituted the bread and wine for PopCorn and soda.
The thing about TV, which is actually quite fascinating, is how it can give us a false sense of community – like you have described in watching your favourite episodes, we can get caught up in the lives of the characters as if they were our own family and friends which can take away some of the feelings of isolation that can take hold in modern life.
My whole life was about entertainment or checking out, which included T.V., movies, work, sports, pubs, clubs, eating, driving and a myriad of other ways of staying checked out or not focused on the way I was living. My body was definitely telling me that I was paying a price for this life style but I would only jump from one ship to the next thinking I was improving but in reality all I did was dig myself into a great level of illusion. For example I would stop eating chocolate with dairy, then the chocolate was still full of caffeine and sugar so I went to carob, which is super sweet but never did I look at the emptiness that was there in the first place that was filling my body with a substance that was not truly serving me on every level. My body awareness finally started to develop thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon and I could start to feel how my body would react to T.V. carob etc.
If religion is about to what and how we chose to relate, then it stands to reason we can be religious about all kinds of activity or ways! It has been an eye opener to understand that there were things that I had a very religious relationship with, that I did each day, and quite precisely, that weren’t exactly supporting me well. With that understanding I have been able to chose things of true value to build religiously into my day.
Shedding my addictions is an ongoing process that leaves me more and more in relationship with myself, life and our true purpose. It is here that I feel the most religious I have ever felt.
‘I was missing the deeply loving and religious relationship with myself that I knew was possible. ‘ this feels so true for so many of us through our chosen distractions.
I would have spent countless hours zoned out and emotionally caught up in a television program, totally disconnected from myself and my body. Since I decided to ditch tv, I do not miss it at all, and at times when a thought will come in, to just watch it or turn it on to see what’s on and I feel that pull, I can just call it out, feel my body and feel the enjoyment that comes from just being in my own gorgeous presence. There truly is nothing like it.
I wonder what the world would be like if Tv was never invented, as on a global level, how many hours per lifetime by each person walking the planet are wasted sitting in front of the box.If all these hours were added up and spent doing something slightly more productive, where would we be now?
It is interesting that the things we usually go to when we had a intense day do not support us to let go of the day, come back to ourselves and have a nurturing time with ourselves. We go to our favourite tv-series with all the personages we know, we eat our favourite food and we basically dull ourselves. I used to do this for a long time too but now I am learning there are truly supportive things I can go to like reading one of these blogs, reading a bit in a book by Serge Benhayon, having a shower, going for a walk or having a good conversation about the day and what happened with my partner. Sometimes all at the same evening. These things support me to come back, help me see where I got stressed and revitalise already before going to bed to then wake up more vital in the morning than before.
This shows when there is a lack of truth in our life, there is a gap, a void, an emptiness that must be filled with something that allows us to not feel the fact. The best way to stop an additiction is the build a deeper level of love and truth in our life.
Wow the addiction to television really can become a religious way of living but with all the falseness expectations and entrapments it brings filling our emptiness and offering a way of not being with ourselves with distraction and emptiness leaving us addicted drained and less than who we really are .
Television like other forms of entertainment, hobby and interests may appear to sustain, stimulate and fulfil us in the moment unfortunately we are always left to feel the emptiness and lack of love that we are living.
All of my friends were brought up on the religion of television and you would get really involved with the drama and emotions of the series and characters, talking about them like they were real. Sad to know that we didn’t see this as anything wrong and so kept each other away from having a truly loving and connected relationship together talking about real life and how we are within it.
TV can really dominate our lives in ways that we don’t realise straight away and we can get addicted to watching TV, feeling grumpy or agitated if we don’t get to watch our ‘normal’ programs or even just get to turn it on – no different really to screen time on our computers or on our phones too. When watching TV or other screens, we often can loose ourselves in the program or app itself and loose awareness of ourselves, our body and our true needs. We then more easily over-ride what the body is telling us – staying up later than we should in the night, staying sitting or squatting in positions that are not comfortable for the body (how often can the legs go numb or you feel stiff after sitting in a certain position watching something), and also using up valuable time that could instead be used to connect with self or with other people. Cherise, thank you for this great reminder that there is so much more in the world than our relationship with TV – it is when we open ourselves up to feeling all there is to feel that life really begins to be lived.
Not watching TV has allowed me to observe how it can totally be a religion. Religiously watching that series every week because you will get left behind or won’t know what everyone is talking about if you don’t. I see the excitement in peoples eyes when they talk about the latest series that has gripped them and how it is talked about as if it is real life. I was also like this absolutely, and I now see how much we can get hooked in to something that is such a time waster and a way to check out for an hour or a few.
I was never a TV fan and once my first husband and I were divorced I never had a TV in the house again, but I did enjoy a good romantic historical fiction film, and when it became easy to play a DVD on the computer I often resorted to one of these for a comfort check out. However, gradually, as I have learned to be more aware of the purpose in my life, that need has disappeared and now my whole body actually shudders in revolt at the thought. What a waste of time! I know that if I tried to return to it for some strange reason I would get a headache and just be bored stiff. I have sometimes tried to watch a film with my partner and lasted about a quarter of the way through, and then my body tells me to stop. The monitor is never used now, the DVDs are left on the shelf, the space in the day expands to embrace the new and the worthwhile. It is a wonderful freedom.
It’s interesting to observe that I would be committed to watching TV, but in other areas of my life where true commitment was needed I showed an inordinate lack of consistency.
I remember so clearly the horrible feeling after watching a bit of TV; that emptiness, that tensions, that frustration at those 1,2,3 hours that I have totally wasted and will never get back. A life without TV allows me to go to bed with a feeling of completion.
Examining how TV series have developed over the last ten years tells you much about humanity. They used to be served up in single doses once a week. Then we had series being screened on consecutive nights, so that you didn’t have to wait as long. Then people got into box sets, so that they could binge watch. And now many broadcasters aren’t bothering to schedule them – they just release the whole season in one big hit. Tells you everything. As our addiction intensifies so too must the measurements of our medication.
Spot on Otto, the supply has definitely been upped by the demand especially over the last few years. The need for entertainment is so strong that anything goes these days which shows how we need constant change to keep piquing our interest and the quality of shows that are on TV or box sets at the moment are appalling which also exposes a lot.
“I based my life around TV rather than true love.” I wonder for how many people ths is true Cherise? I wouldnt say that I used to be a TV addict, but I certainly used to base my days around certain programmes that I wanted to watch. And its interesting to consider as I write this that so many soap operas are screened at or around meal times, encouraging us to not only check out while watching them, but also to potentially take our focus away from what and how we eat in order to watch them and therefore not give our full focus to what our body is asking for in terms of nutrition and sustenance. Hence the takeaway culture that is so often associated with watching films/nights in front of the TV, that do nothing to truly support the body.
We were limiting our Tv watching, to just watching the news but in truth that was still a time to check out and kind of let the body go, but when we don’t switch it on at all the house is not filled with outside influences and it feel much better.
I too used to watch TV every night. Most days I would just be getting through the day looking forward to coming home and watching my latest favorite series, then go to bed checked out. In the last 3 years or so I have not watched TV. Now I am with what the day brings, enjoy coming home and allowing the evening to unfold and then going to bed with me.
We have no problem committing to things that don’t develop us, yet can struggle greatly with the things that do.
Cherise, from reading this piece I can see that you are worth every moment that you commit to and how we all are graced by this simple and beautiful act.
Hi Gill, great question, and I will answer that I will watch the sunset with you as there is nothing in me that needs any distraction from the beauty that life is and in special to be with other people and to explore all aspects of human relationships and life by just living it.
It is interesting how we can make our lives around TV, a medium that actually mostly is providing illusions and entertainment but not a real life. Why are we looking for this illusion and even give precedence over instead of for just living life and everything that comes with that and appreciate and understand that this is hundred times more beneficial for our being than the best TV show ever. Living life connects us who we naturally are and reconnects us to our origin, something TV will never deliver.
Thank you Cherise, today reading your blog I had a new understanding of what you have shared about your new way of being religious, that it’s a deeply loving relationship to you and in that there is the connection to God. I hadn’t stopped to appreciate the many changes I have made from self neglect, checking out and withdrawing, to now being deeply connected to my body, to loving and caring for myself, and bringing all of who I am to the world.
Living from your own heart centre and not through others has really struck a chord with me today. I watch very little TV now and can see it was a choice to let the allure of all the entertainment that is on offer sweep me up. There is still a little opening – a curiosity with entertainment that I could choose to re-engage with. but do I want to abandon my relationship with me and with God to live vicariously through a TV screen?! Life has so much depth but TV is so shallow and unsatisfactory, needing constant feeding of attention to distract from the amazingness that life is. Sometimes I can feel a slight anxiety of being without the dullness that TV is offering so know to keep breathing and connecting with myself.
“TV was my religion; it was a big part of my life as I rarely went a day without watching something. It formed a ritual and a way of living that was religious to me. ” – such a simple way to show us that the word religion is about the relationship we have with anything and anyone. It is not just about God and our relationship with God. But my question is – what relationship do you have with God? This relationship after all is a very precious one, and one that is available to us all – but do we treat it as precious, do we actually honour, care for and respect this relationship for what it is, and do we use it to support ourselves and those around us, to bring more love and tenderness and yes divinity into our lives? A great reminder for me today to be asking these questions and seeing how much more I can deepen my relationship with God, how much I can value my own religion with my deeper self.
I didn’t really like being organised about watching TV – if it was easy I would record something interesting but I usually didn’t spend the time researching it. TV was probably my religion, too but I wasn’t a very organised follower.
For a long time I believed like most people that TV relaxed me and helped me come to rest. The truth is however that watching TV is actually draining and the energy that comes with a TV program is often assaulting and imposing on our bodies leaving it more exhausted. The reason I have experienced it as I did was because it was a source of numbing myself to not have to feel how I felt in my body and how my day had been. The numbing then was perceived as relaxing but the result would be a downwards spiral of exhaustion and stress.
The amount of space that is created by not turning on the tube and checking out is incredible and takes no time to fill with purposeful activities! How many hours, days and years have we squandered away!
Being honest with myself about the things that I am dependent on and hooked by has given me many opportunities to consider why I am attached to certain things and behaviours. The more I explore and come to understand, the simpler it is to let go and move on to the next learning. Honestly, the unfolding is miraculous and super inspiring.
Extraordinary how something that was so pivotal in ones life can be revealed as being not good for us at all… and how wonderful to be embracing what is rich and true … our inner hearts
“I was missing the deeply loving and religious relationship with myself that I knew was possible.”There are so many distractions out there that take us away from the divinity within.
I remember how I also used to be religious about tv although at the time I would never have admitted it. Looking back all the dramas, soaps, thrillers and adventures were a great way to escape from life but did not support me in life one bit.
How beautiful it is that Universal Medicine has supported so many to re-align and re-claim what religion is for them.
I have noticed that it is a double whammy whenever I am so exhausted from a momentum of not taking care of myself and then in a bid to escape the discomfort of the awareness, I choose anything that stops me from feeling how awful I am actually feeling. I end up exhausted, disconnected and on a downward spiral!
Food, the internet and TV are right up there as choices that numb and distract us away from the awareness that really what is needed is a little loving reflection of how and why we have got ourselves to that state and how to help ourselves recover.
“TV once dictated how I spent my time” I have to keep coming back to this and appreciate that on my last long haul flight (as with a number of them recently) I felt no urge to watch the TV or the movies and realise reading your blog how my entire journey on planes was dictated by the TV/Movies and how I would land the other end was affected by this. Now I use the time to rest, connect and consolidate so I am ready for whatever is next. It’s interesting to take this approach into the rest of my life.
It is the same here. I hardly ever watch on a flight, even a 13 hour flight. There is always something more interesting to do, including nothing :).
Thank you Cherise as this I am sure is a very common recognisable story you share. I found with myself that if I was tired or my day had not been great I would switch on the TV. Then while watching TV the snacks (that I had not craved before) would come in and despite my tiredness I would go to bed much later then intended as I would have been sucked in to one program or another. The crazy thing is, most of the time I did not even really enjoy those programs! This shows me clearly that it is not really about the programs we watch, even if we want to think so, but very much about the distraction and numbing away from ourselves.
I find it fascinating how tv can be such a big part of so many people’s lives. It as if we cannot live without it. Yet I know when we stop watching it we do not feel like we are missing out rather like has been the case for me to feel how much I was missing out on when I would spend hours or days watching tv.
Exhaustion and tiredness is an epidemic of our society as is tv addiction a way of life and linking these two up is a very obvious answer and the religion of many but true religion is vitalising beautiful and nourishing for our body and our soul.
Wouldn’t it be fascinating to go through a list of all of our rhythms and rituals, and see which ones actually support us, which ones we’ve picked up from other people that we do not actually enjoy/want to do and which ones are quite damaging underneath the surface.
Imagine if all the time everyone wasted in front of the box was spent doing something constructive or helpful for oneself or others, the world would be a completely different place.
Yes I can relate to TV being a religion. I too used to bow down to all that was on the box, not discerning was it good for me to medicate daily in what I was watching, to always be a slave to watching tv shows and not evolving myself at all. This is not the case now, but I can feel how much of a hold it used to have on me, not great or pleasant at all.
From reading this I can really appreciate how I’ve substituted TV for a relationship with myself, God and others. If I was feeling lonely I would turn it on – a chat show or series which I liked and knew the characters was my bag. It felt like a safe way to be with people, actually being with people was scary because I’d been hurt in the past. But I never got to develop relationships with others or myself. But now I’m starting to build a loving foundation with myself and with God I can be with people in a different way. See that if they are unkind or inconsiderate where that came from and see at that moment they were in pain and hurt themselves, so not take it personally as I’d have done in the past – or, if I’ve taken it personally, I know there is a hurt there I could do with looking at and healing.
Being more understanding of myself and others I have found people open up, people who’d I’d previously judged and told myself they wouldn’t. I know that choosing TV as a way of being with people and not myself stunts all other relationships which would otherwise flourish.
We can resort to all kinds of things and behaviours when we choose to not feel what we are here to truly do.
This morning I was listening to a radio program about a country in the middle east, to know where this is I googled it and the first page right at the top was a video of someone being beheaded with over 40,0000 views.
I was deeply shocked that this content is allowed and reported it to You tube.
I am appalled that Google, youtube and Facebook allow such horrific content. There absolutely needs to be tighter regulations.
An hour in front of the TV can go by in a flash. Whereas an hour spending time with another doing something else can be hugely productive and full of purpose. TV takes quite a lot from our lives – connection and purpose being major.
The program of watching someone go about their day whilst in a closed house, and the antics they get up to, be it sleeping, eating or just talking to each other seems such a waste of time and it makes me wonder how bad does the TV programs have to get before we shake ourselves out of our stupor and see it for what it is – distraction.
TV as many here have stated and myself used TV to check out at the end of the day, to switch off by switching on the box. The times we just had to finish watching whatever, before we went to bed! Then we would have a lousy night’s sleep and feel rough the next day at work that would require caffeine, sugar and maybe nicotine to get through the day. Then we would hit the reset button and start the same cycle again, day after day! Why do retirement homes have TVs?
My first response when coming home from work would be to always put the TV on. It was like an instant reflex action, something I looked forward to, something to escape. Then I began to feel how the programs made my body feel and I felt the numbing and the ‘switched off-ness’… I also began to feel the energy of the programs themselves and this was the support I needed to cut my TV addiction.
The relaxing or wind down effect of TV is very insidious as we are so distracted that usually we don´t get to realize the draining and depressing ‘side’-effect that is the actual effect on the body and psyche. We are simply not aware (enough) of the energetic dimensions behind physicality that play out in everything and thus as well in our body.
It’s so sad that TV is a religion for so many. I know that when I used to watch TV I used to get so depressed. Now my life is so joyful without it. I would never go back. Why would I do that?
Tv for me was an addiction, to not feel what was there and to reward myself and take time out. It would also take me into fantasising about the characters in movies and series like they were real people. It’s almost like stepping into this unreal world where you can actually think that the stories are real and can relate to the people within it. It’s very hooking behaviour is quite strong when you don’t have a love of your own presence and would prefer to give yourself over to outside stimulation and distraction. I haven’t watched tv for quite a while now and there is just not that pull to watch it which is a huge benefit for my body as I used to feel quite drained after watching it.
Television is such a trick (unless there is some specific informational reason to consult it!) and it is a trick that I have seen through but haven’t fully mastered. Why do i let my body get to the point where it feels it has to sit down and watch something for a half an hour at 7.30, if I feel too tired to keep working? I have yet to nail the key thing here.
The distraction from one´s own tensions with life by immersing into the artificial tensions, emotions and stories of other people, real or made up doesn´t matter. Not really a solution for anything but relief as it seems often without realizing the extreme effects it can have on us so that we actually then have to deal with more than just the original tension.
I have been in my life religious about a lot of thigs that where not really supportive and often thought that if I could only be as committed to my health and wellbeing as I was to tv and sugar and procrastinating! Life really is what we give our energy to, learning to give more space to all the loving choices that are an investment in our health.
“I was missing the deeply loving and religious relationship with myself that I knew was possible. ” What an amazing realisation of the effects and total distraction of TV as a way of living far from ourselves and not claiming our own love and connection to the all and sharing this with ourselves and others. It is often only on giving something up that the true indulgence it was becomes felt and seen for our selves and what we are missing out on comes to light
TV. used to be a huge distraction in my life and now my day is so full of me being involved in so many ways that I now wonder how I ever fitted the time in to watch the news.
If we can take our commitment to the addictions in our lives, be that TV, shopping, alcohol, smoking, certain foods etc and apply this time, money and attention to building our relationship with ourselves and therefore others, we would be really flying back to the unity and brotherhood we all yearn for so deeply.
Love the simple exposure of switching on the TV to switch off ourselves. That term ‘switch off’ so commonly used, but I wonder if we really give it any thought as to what we are switching off…. the light that shines in us, leaving us in a murky gloom (and reflecting nothing to the world).
I agree Simon, ‘switching on to switch of’ says it all. There is much in us we switch off on a daily basis and we have many ways of doing so. To stay switched on is challenging as it means being willing to feel the tensions of the world and ourselves. Yet what we do not realise is what we are actually choosing when we switch off, the price is high as in the process we lose ourselves and the love that we are.
“I based my life around TV rather than true love.” Sadly it seems much of society are still doing exactly this. It seems ironic that so many immerse themselves in what is happening in the latest ‘soap’ or who is winning in the most current reality TV show, when what the world is crying out for is true communication with one another and true love.
Life is just so much more fulfilling when we start removing the distractions and start looking at the point of why we are actually inhabiting this planet.
Yes. I agree, Kevin. And it is in the appreciation of the opportunities in relationships and commitment to life that I have been able to walk away from so many harmful and distracting addictions.
Television, radio, social media can be so addictive and really quite harmful. Recently I have been listening to the radio to keep up with whats happening in the English General Election and I realised I was getting addicted to the commentary, the drama and the emotional stimulation of it all.
When we don’t discern what energy is coming at us we can quite easily let it in only to be worse off in the long run.
I used to check out with television as well but no longer own a tv and certainly do not miss it. Just the other day I had a conversation with friends about television with a friend sharing that she never watches it but when she went to get her hair cut her hairdresser had the tv on. It was on a shopping channel and my friend just felt sucked into it. Like all these things .. tv, internet etc it can be used to know what is going on in the world but mostly it is used to completely check out and disconnect. Seeing as humanity, I would say we are currently not very connected to the truth of who we are this is this the last thing we need .. something to make us disconnect to this truth even more! This said it all for me ‘or repeat all the words from Grease, Mary Poppins or The Simpsons when I was young, but I certainly couldn’t have an intimate or truthful conversation about what was really going on or what I truly felt.’ It would be great if we could just switch all the tvs and devices off and start to have conversations instead about what is going on for us and how we are truly feeling.
Out of all the bad habits I have chosen to stop, TV has been the best!
Just recently while driving I noticed a car in front that had a mini tv on so that the children in the back seat could be entertained while they travelled, and it got me to pondering. So what is it we are saying to our children when we offer this for them? It certainly isn’t love, although we can convince ourselves that it is. We are basically setting them up for a checked out and disconnected life. This also got me feeling into going into the mind and how this form of checking out is basically the same only you don’t have an actual screen in front of you, only the pictures conjured up in the head that go with the thoughts. Both just as detrimental for us, and our bodies. A mind without the bodies impulse guiding it, is absent of love.
‘Television was my ‘down-time’, my ‘relax-time’ at the end of a busy or emotional day and it was my best friend when something stressful was going on that I certainly did not want to feel.’ I can relate to this in every way, but like you also say, Cherise what I was really missing was that connection with myself.
I know I live life religiously now, and it is in the quality and purpose I have in every day life and its moments, is my intention for self, am I being irresponsible, am I making it about love first, do I ignore feelings and signs, do I not appreciate the universe and the feeling of love that abounds…when I adjust how I move and my choices to deal with these issues when they occur this is my religious commitment to truth and love, to return to an inner knowing and relationship and live from there…this is how every day is and I am religious about this consistency.
For me what was interesting is when I stopped watching television I replaced the ‘company’ with the radio and news until I felt that this too was a distraction from being presented with what and who I was with.
“TV once dictated how I spent my time” I would have to agree with this, its exactly how I would run my life by what is or is not on TV and what the next show is airing date is. Anything I wanted to “relax” the TV would come on.. yet I would feel worse later and the next day.
TV is so much the norm it is hard to imagine living without it, but I am finding as I become more discerning about how I spend my time at home, there is less and less I would choose to watch on TV, simply because it is not enjoyable to watch.
I was never a big TV watcher, but boy do I remember being hooked on a couple of TV shows and how empty i would feel after watching them. I’d be left feeling drained and empty, looking for the next hit of entertainment to keep me numbed out. Television is a huge addictive drug, socially accepted making it all the worse as a result.
Great point, Katerina. The fact that television is socially accepted (actually expected) makes it a very insidiously dangerous addiction.
What did we have before TV..radio and then what did we have before radio? Obviously human contact connection and conversation. but what was the quality of this and is this why we have TV and radio in an attempt to find this?
I had a big TV habit, it grew as I grew, just what you do, so to speak, you get older, get caught in the stories and drama, sit down and checking out. I wasn’t like this as a child and I am not like that now. I have slowly let go of it and rarely think about it. TV takes us away from what is really happening in our lives, I now want to be more present and aware of what is happening my life and I enjoy my evenings, I talk, go for a walk,organising some stuff, have a bath, do some music, go to bed etc and it feels good to have a few hours space to make time for this, I do not need TV to fill up my life, I want to be present and enjoy it.
I agree Samantha, the time I have in the evening is essential for me to prepare for the next day. It may mean putting away some washing, sending a few texts which I haven’t got around to sending, having a hot bath or tidying up so that in the morning I feel prepared and ready for the next day. This would be completely lost if I spent that time in front of the television and I would start the next day on the wrong foot.
Television is the focus of most people’s living rooms these days. With them over the years having become bigger and bigger, wider and wider. We have championed that is what we need in our homes, not more connection in the evening, but built up a culture of reality tv shows, eating food in front of the tv and less communication with loved ones in the evening. But why? why have we allowed this? The disconnection from each other and those we supposedly love. A sad indictment of how society is not living.
‘I began to live religiously with love and with me. ‘ I too am finding the more I am with me and religiously so in a loving way my need for TV has gone. It’s amazing how I was using it as a substitute for loving myself and others. There are other things that will go too as I love myself more deeply.
TV does dictate how we spend our time as you say Cherise. We can totally give our power away to it without realising. It dictates our time and it dictates our minds. Much better to switch it off and think for ourselves.
Very true Rebecca. And it’s only when we do stop watching it that we realise how much of our time was actually wasted by literally zoning out in front of it when we could have been doing something that was way more fulfilling or life enhancing!
What we ask TV to do for us, is a clear reflection of how we are living.
It is one of many questions we can ask ourselves. And the more honest we are, however uncomfortable that might be, the more we are likely to be empowered to make life enhancing choices.
The space that opened up in my life when I relinquished television has been inspiring and life enhancing. No regrets whatsoever.
I can fully concur with you Matilda, for the space that has opened up in my life that had been owned by the box! It makes ponder on the years I had spent not being part of the world whilst I was tuned in and unplugged from life.
It’s been 8 years now since I have not watched television and I haven’t missed it one bit. I couldn’t agree more that the space which instantaneously opened up for me felt gorgeous as did the quiet that accompanied switching off the noise from the sensationalist TV shows.
I enjoyed reading your bio Cherise at the end of the blog – “.. smiling at the smallest of moments in between.” These moments are not so aware of when you are getting smashed with the images and pictures of tv and drama you watched the night before. The simple moments and movements of life become the new simple enriching beautiful way of life. It has become my ‘entertainment’ – observing and reading life for what is truly going on instead of allowing another dramatic picture to fill my being and block my awareness.
Spot on Cherise, TV was such a religion for us also! The family would ‘congregate’ in the ‘holy’ TV room and sit in disconnection together united by an addiction to some series or sitcom. In the past if you went for a walk in the suburbs at night you could see all the faithful gathered around the TV screen in each home . . . not so much now as everyone is now off on their own screen so families don’t even have to sit together. It really is strange behaviour sitting around watching a screen.
‘My relationship with TV started long ago when I was a child and it was only when I stopped watching TV that I realised how all consuming this relationship had been in my life.’ When I was growing up television was used in our family as ‘relief’, to avoid truly connecting with each other.
Its interesting how even a small moment with the TV is draining, I normally don’t watch TV, my life is busy with more purposeful things than TV, however I do now and again sit down with my husband and we may watch a movie together, this can be once in a few months. But I too can notice, the day after I sure have felt tired and possibly even heavy.
It’s interesting how television stimulates us to stay awake longer than we naturally would and then leaves us feeling drained the next day. I wish I had known this when I worked in an office and could not understand why I was perpetually tired in the mornings no matter how early I got up.
Thank you for this honest account Cherise – one that I can very much relate to. I too have in the past religiously spent time in front of the TV, very much at the expense of my own wellbeing and the sense of true connection to myself and others.
Yes if a religious way of living is a commitment to a way of life then yes I too was a huge follower especially drama tv series and romance movies. But can we also ponder if this way of life, also gave us something to belong too, made us feel connected to our friends and family because it kept us connected to something and gave us something to talk about? A very cool article indeed thank you Cherise.
There is a part of this piece of writing that actually confirms the fact that everyone is deeply religious, be it with a TV, sport, a hobby, whatever it is that we throw our passion in to that is our religion because of the nature of our relationship with it. So this confirms that religion is our natural way and when the Esoteric inner-heart is re-connected with then religion takes on a whole new meaning because love starts to become the focus.
In our lives when we are more often running on nervous energy, TV gives us an excuse to stop and be still, it provides a stop but not necessarily the reconnection and true rest that is needed and then we pick ourselves up and go off again, with an emptiness and exhaustion. TV can help us feel like we are stopping and resting but this isn’t really happening.
After reading your blog Cherise, I started to wonder how many hours on average per day a person spends watching TV? It is pretty shocking to realise a majority of families now choose to replaced spending quality time with each other with watching TV.
The religious relationship with tv and technology in the world today is ever increasing getting more and more extreme and changing our reality in life to an artificial one and making the real need for connection quality and love we are all truly seeking underneath it all hidden . Addressing this is the only way bringing us back to the true love we all are innately within allowing this to blossom and grow together with the responsibility this calls for beautifully so.
I feel so much better in my body, since I have stopped watching TV, I love my wind down time in the evening and my early to bed ritual which feels so nurturing, when I used to watch TV before bed I wake in the morning feeling tired, now with my early nights and no TV I sleep soundly and wake refreshed for the day ahead.
When things get tough or intense the wanting to switch off and escape is a real draw. If it’s not the TV, then the relief can come in so many other guises like over eating or distraction using the computer. Even over working can be a draw card. But the more we deal with the issue, no matter how uncomfortable, and the more present we stay with ourselves then the issue becomes easier to deal with.
It’s funny how it’s often said in jest when we say things like ‘tv is my religion’ or ‘football is my religion’ etc. But in actual fact we are so religious about things we are addicted to or reliant on that rather than actually acknowledging it, we just joke about the excessiveness in which we participate in whatever activity it is. It’s an interesting thing to observe.
For me television was a medium through which I could fantasize about the characters in a movie or series and wish that my life were like that, and it also gave me a false hope or ideal or picture about families and relationships that kept me stuck in accepting the emotional kind of relationships.
I love what you say Cherise, with “keeping it switched on to help me switch off ” and that is exactly what we mostly do with TV, to use it as a means to entertain us and in that assisting us to not connecting with ourselves but with something outside of us instead, switched off from the real life that only can be felt and lived within.
When it is not TV or surfing the internet it is good all day dreaming or mental storytelling that serves as an escape – the mind TV.
Television like any behaviour or activity can become a huge distraction even an addiction in the sense if our relationship with it dominates over our engagement in other aspects of life or relationships.
Recently I have been noticing a lot more all those little habits that I do to ‘switch off’ or ‘check out’ to escape from life and the impact that this actually has on me and everyone around me.
We actually didn’t have television until I was 15… So for me the escape was in books… there wasn’t much else to do in the outback! I was a prolific reader, and really… It was just the same as watching television… Except the movies were in my head and not on screen.
That’s a great point Chris – whether we lose ourselves in a novel or a TV show, it serves the same purpose, to numb ourselves and to escape from our real lives.
The allure of TV and tv programs is really quite strong. I usually avoid watching the TV at dinner time even though it is usually always on, but sometimes I do look and if I engage it only takes a few seconds and then its in – and then when you are looking away the energy is drawing you back, you want to find out more about what is happening next, and this may be a clever design of the Production industry. The thing is that we are already experiencing more than we can imagine during our every day, and if we are feeling a little bit racy from the bombardment of energies we feel then TV is supplied to take the edge off – but just putting us into a more withdrawn state and is not helping us deal with our reactions and tensions.
“Because of this I always felt an emptiness and a lack of self-love within that I worked tirelessly to fill – with TV, stimulation or entertainment and food; most commonly using all at the same time. “What i find amazing is that we do know that we feel empty inside, and these external things such as TV will never satiate this inner emptiness. Its inspirational to hear your journey out of this cycle Cherise, the understanding that comes with self love is so key in this process of letting go.
I love the complete open-ness and honesty with your blog, Cherise. I reckon all of us have, and maybe still are, experiencing this ‘filling our lives with distractions’ to numb the feeling of emptiness that we feel as a result of dis-connecting from our divine selves, withdrawing from life in reaction to the hurts we experience. It’s beautiful to feel the change now that you are now choosing to live in a true way that honours all of you, filling you with the love that you are – no more space for distractions!
It is a great gift we do ourselves to observe our habits in life and assess what the root of them are and what our relationship is with a certain habit. TV is great example and when you add eating food while watching TV it exacerbates the check out factor. There are many ways we check out, people watching is another, the drama of life in relationships, the internet, food as mentioned, being driven and pushy..etc…so it is interesting that when we observe our habits we do so with all the habits we have, all of our choices. I have noticed how I can let go of a certain issues but the habit can turn up in another form somewhere else in my life, if I have not dealt with the underlying energetic choice or issue. Alcohol is gone, but I can see I can eat in the energy I used to drink in, TV is gone, but as mentioned above the internet can come in and offers the same check out…then there is the drama of emotions, they have lessened yet we choose complications and issues in relationships to prevent intimacy….there is not an end point with this exploration, and it is deeply supportive to look at why we do what we do and reflecting on why we sit in front of a TV for hours of our week is a great place to start….for me I was wondering why I would be plugged into that and not wanting to be with my own company…what was I avoiding?
Samantha great what you share it is about the energy in why we do things, as like you shared if the energy is not addressed it will re-appear somewhere else, and until we deal with energy it is still controlling us.
Television is amazing at drawing us in but in order for any-thing to be able to draw us in, it has to first of all draw us out of ourselves. Once we have been drawn out then we have left ourselves and can basically end up anywhere. The landmark has to be and remain US at all times.
Why is it we have no problem being consistent and ritualistic with the things that don’t support us – but struggle with the things that do?
Great question Kylie.. there is something in this for everyone to ponder on. It reminds me of the language used around dieting when one says ‘why is it that the foods I really love, such as chocolate or chips are not healthy for me, and yet the healthy foods are not so appealing’.
One could also ask, what is it about us that we live with a void or an emptiness that we then find the need to fill with such seemingly desirable distractions?
A few years ago TV was a part of my nightly routine to do nothing. It was my check out from the world time. When I felt it was time to go to bed, I would just turn off the TV, even if it was minutes from the end of what I was watching! So, it was never about the content, and it was all about the checking out. So, how do you know when you have finished doing nothing?
I am as well completely familiar with what you are sharing here, Cherise. I grew up with TV as a very integral part of family life and so it was also later in my adult life. In hindsight, it is so obvious that TV is a substitute, even a drug, a self-medication to deal with the stresses of life, loneliness, emptiness, disconnection, escape from reality etc but at the time it was just normal and it never occurred to be anything harming. Probably TV and today also social media are the predominant religion of most people worldwide.
Television is great when we have nothing to do but it loses pretty much all of its appeal if there is something interesting to do.
I remember my mother heaving a sigh of relief every time my father turned the TV off. The stillness and quiet that returned felt so sweet and highlighted the force and harshness of the energy that was coming through the TV. Why would we choose to drown ourselves in that?
TV took over my life and was the things that taught me to do things with my mind to keep me from being present. It became so simple to watch 4 or 5 shows at once, as I would jump from one channel to the next. So it became super easily to be distracted and found it difficult to say on track but at the same time I was also able to multi task. So therefore it became a game that I could change into any situation to remain checked out and in the illusion that I was okay. The truths is still unfolding but even though I stopped watching TV some 15 years ago I have a multitude of fantasy playing in my mind that is better than any TV series. The time has come to track down all the rogue places in my mind that keep me from being consciously present in the things I do, and this is to the best of my ability. So no judgment just respond to what ever is happening with the understanding that if I am present then everyone benefits.
When we choose to stop doing something, such as no longer watching TV, it soon becomes very obvious how much time we spent just lounging in front of it and how totally distracting it can be. I too used to spend several hours in the evenings watching something and stay up far later than my body wanted to. But now it is hardly ever on and I realise how much of time I basically wasted in something that simply allowed me to check out. It is very liberating to not have the TV ‘rule’ my life anymore, and also much less exhausting, and also great to clock when it does go on, what it is that I am wanting to avoid.
It got to a point with me where I would literally be watching something during any task I was doing… Eating, ironing, playing computer games, on the bus, on my break at work….. the list is endless. Just considering the amount of energy I gave it is quite scary!
What I find amazing is how easily we can replace one thing with another – as a child I was big into the TV, channel surfing or watching movies, I could spend hours if I was allowed, checking out on the sofa.
As I grew up, I moved away from TV and preferred film and when that started to reduce and we no longer had a TV, I moved to watching movies, videos and TV series on my computer. And when I say watch, really I mean binge, especially TV shows which are just designed for this when you are not keeping up with the latest episode and therefore have so many to watch – I could watch 3, 4 sometimes whole seasons in a a very short space of time. But as I started to feel the effects of this, taking up so much time in my day and making me feel more tired than before I started watching, I began to cut this down. What I now see I have replaced it with is social media surfing, be it Facebook, Instagram or Youtube. When we look at the energy behind our behaviours it changes the whole perspective – I could say that I don’t watch TV anymore, so therefor what is wrong with something small like social media surfing – but in the time I spend intensely immersed in social media it makes me feel the same as watching ads on TV or binge watching shows on my computer, and therefore it is simply my substitute, and so instead of settling for better, there is a measure of energy first.
Just yesterday I was talking to a group of school kids about food and screen time. It was amazing to hear how they are so aware of the affects on their body even though many appear to enjoy it.
Of late perhaps in the last month I have watched tv twice. Now when I look at those two times I can see they were days that felt tough and got me a little off balance. TV in those moments was a reprieve from letting myself feel. It is so great to have these conversations and bring the honesty to what and why we use such things in life eg tv. And the same can apply to many many other things.
It could also be said that TV offers many religions depending on the programmes we choose – a flavour to hook everyone.
“My relationship with TV started long ago when I was a child and it was only when I stopped watching TV that I realised how all consuming this relationship had been in my life.” – Yes Cherise, I fully relate. Having to rush home for certain programmes, rushing dinner so a continuing part in a series could be watched, avoiding phone calls because a favourite programme was on – when I think back oh my – I am so so very glad that all this is over for a long time now and as a result my life has become so much richer in connections with myself and others, so much more time and space has opened up, I wonder how I ever got anything done… ( and that was just in the evening, daytime there was no TV ever)
Most human beings have an ‘intimate’ relationship with Television. Seemingly, it gives you what you want when you want. But what is that? This is an important question since, often times, the shows that are on offer are not exactly what we want. And yet, we keep on watching. So, what is it about TV? Although TV brings something really informative about this world of ours, by and large, TV is the perfect tool to avoid focusing on ourselves, to find relief from life, to fill emptiness and to check out. It does a lot for us. It does what we ask it to do. What we ask it to do for us is a great reflection of how we are living.
“making way for an ever-deepening religious way of life that I now have, rich in connection to my knowing, embracing of life and with an openness and love for myself and others. ” This is beautiful to feel and it is quite revealing of the religious way of living we can have with TV and all the isolation it offers us from ourself first and foremost .The perils of tv culture revealed and the true depth of relationships we can live.
Yes, TV describes a rich-seeming life but it is not our life and the ‘rich-seeming’ does not do well under scrutiny.
Ah, the living room church of ‘what is on now’ How many years do we take our favourite seat in front of the holy box and pray for something good to be on? But, it matters not, as the food that is usually, consumed in our church is rubbish, our appetite for the same fair on the box is the same. The difference is one fills you up full of stuff your body doesn’t need or want and the other fills you with emptiness, bon appétit!
The extent to which TV dominates many people’s lives can be measured by the size and number oF TV screens in their homes. In one example, a giant screen fills one living room wall, together with remote controls and mobile devices and every other room in the house, apart from bathroom, has a TV..
Yes I have heard some families having 5 tv ‘s. So in these situations not only are they a distraction but a means of staying separated by everyone staying in their own rooms watching their own show etc. So when do families connect and find out about each other ?
Recently I sat down to watch a movie on tv with my partner – it was an ok movie but nothing special. After twenty minutes we decided just being together talking would be so much lovelier than sticking with the movie so turned the tv off and had a lovely time together. It made me realise that in the past I would have probably stayed with the programme and missed out on connection with others or perhaps even simply with myself.
TV was my religion; it was a big part of my life as I rarely went a day without watching something. It formed a ritual and a way of living that was religious to me. This was absolutely me for many years. Tv became my saviour and I loved my time spent with it as it became my best friend and I really got attached to the actors in the regular shows that I watched. And even though I use social media, for me it doesn’t have that pull that tv had for me. It feels so great in the body to not have that need within me to constantly watch tv and be pulled in and completely drain myself.
I like the tongue in cheek use of the word religion here. The meaning of the word ‘religion’ has become one with a prescribed way of being dictated by a religious institution. This itself robs us from the deep understanding of the level of freedom, responsibility and accountability we have in choosing our relationship with and expression within every aspect of life.
I don’t ever watch TV because when I moved home last year, I didn’t get an arial, saying that I didn’t watch TV at my old house either for many years. However, I’m not fooling myself that I don’t use the internet, social media and emails in the same way at the end of the day particularly when living alone. So it isn’t just TV that we can be religious with to check out from life and think we are relaxing.
“I always felt an emptiness and a lack of self-love within that I worked tirelessly to fill – with TV, stimulation or entertainment and food; most commonly using all at the same time. ” So many people feel this emptiness but don’t recognise it as such – nor did I until I came to attend Universal Medicine presentations. Once Serge Benhayon presented on the why we do what we do – as humans – in our search for stimulation, through whatever means available, then I understood so much. I was always a ‘keep busy’ person in order not to feel my emptiness. Now I love being still – and Esoteric Yoga supports me to claim this stillness – which feels amazing and which I can then take through into everyday life.
It was the same for me, Sue. Until I heard Serge Benhayon present on why we do, what we do in terms of seeking stimulation, seeking relief and seeking distraction to try and numb what it is that we don’t want to feel, I never paid it much thought. I put it all into one basket and called it life and accepted that’s what we do without question. Letting go of TV watching was a gradual process as I allowed myself to feel a) the quality of the programmes I was watching and how they made me feel and b) what it was that I wasn’t dealing with in my day.
“My relationship with TV started long ago when I was a child and it was only when I stopped watching TV that I realised how all consuming this relationship had been in my life.” same here. We think it is harmless however I have no doubt that in the future we may well consider TV as damaging as smoking or taking drugs.
Although considered to be sedentary activity, when watching TV we’re in constant motion, our minds active, emotionally and fully engaged with events on the TV screen. Added to this many of us wake up, come home to, eat in front of and go to bed with TV. We have a 24/7 relationship that is addictive and suffer as a consequence of not switching off, and allowing stillness in.
Having half an hour of debrief time with family can be so valuable, but what most families or groups of friends do is take a spare hour when everyone’s around and use it to catch up on a TV show or film, but this isn’t actually ‘family time’ as much as we like to think it is, because we are not actually talking or connecting with anyone in the family!
Is TV not the same as other religions? It presents things to aspire to that are not real and or obtainable! TV fills the bits in us that we believe empty. Over the years have we be become the compost heap for the rubbish that is presented to us on TV that spills over into all aspects of our lives? Why do we need TV, when the real world may be copied but will never replace the real thing.
So much of our lives can be wasted sitting in the total comfort of our lounge watching the box. It is definitely a device that can suck us in if we are unaware. I do regret all the time I have wasted in the past watching programmes that are of no point, but I have learned from it and just need to make sure I never slip back into it which I’m sure I won’t.
Television was also my religion, quite simply because I did not feel like I had anything else worth doing with my time, quite simply because I did not know what it felt like to be present in my body anymore.
The TV is a box of lies and distraction, providing us the images that takes us away from ourselves and our already wireless connection to each other.
It’s great you have exposed here how you were ‘religious’ with TV and sweets and food. We certainly don’t think to be this honest but the truth is that religion can be anything we have an ongoing relationship with. I too was pretty religious with TV and it really does take up so much time and suck you in. And these days we are seeing many more TV shows come into play, whereby people get sucked in for a longer period of time. It is worth asking where the world is heading if this is what we are calling for.
I haven’t let go of TV yet, but are experimenting with what it feels like when I do watch it and when I don’t. I can definitely feel the positive difference not watching tv has on myself and my family.
I love your honesty Vanessa. I feel I have finally cut my umbilical cord to TV. The change happened post Unimed retreat (UK) when I became aware of the choice I was making when I turned on TV. It was a switch in awareness from small to bigger picture. I’m in the early stages of appreciating how amazing it feels to be in my own space without TV and the potential opened up to deepen the quality of relationship with myself and person I live and work with.
It is great to track back over our day and consider what we have chosen that may have contributed to our inability to rest well at night.
I love the way you have used the word religiously here in terms of anything we do with commitment. It has offered me up a playful way to explore what I do religiously in my life and whether these things are supportive or detrimental. From here I can see and accept that I have a choice.
Yes, I also was religious about a particular tv show, and with hindsight I can see that it did not evolve me one bit, but rather prolonged the period of my life where I was given up and not committed to life.
I have lived life sleeping 6 hours a night as a rule for years, and almost all of that time, I watched TV as part of my wind down for the day. The last decade, I have had a routine of going to bed at 9 and getting up at 3. Since cutting out TV, I now get whatever hours my body requires.
It’s easy to blame TV, isn’t it? With increased sensitivity, seated in a room with TV on, I feel its quality, sounds and volume, as a violation in my body. My head filled with noises that literally ‘take me over.’ But what happens when we walk away from TV into silent space? Rarely are we silent within, our heads fill up with thoughts, intruders jump in to fill the space. Do we feel this a violation? Ultimately, we choose the quality of our inner space. With conscious presence, we are supported to constantly bring ourselves back to the body, movements and not lose ourselves in our mind. It’s not about TV, but the choice we make to be with ourselves or not.
TV is just one form of distraction and as many people transition from the TV they may start to use their phone or computer and other mediums such as Facebook for down time. It is fantastic to feel the difference that all of these make in our lives and choose what feels true. It is supportive to feel the intention behind switching on the TV or other electronic device and consider what we are using it for and the quality we are in whilst using it.
I love how you made moving home part of letting go of your old ways. So many move into a new home for the comforts it is going to offer when it is actually a beautiful opportunity to change and expand the way we live.
It’s great when we realise something like how much TV or other things can dictate our lives, they are there and we think they provide us with some relief. I was a die hard TV and Movie addict yet today I feel so much more amazing without the TV and all that I ended up using it for. It’s interesting to consider just how this was my religion for many many years. It was my religion of escaping into another world.
TV is something I often looked for due to not really enjoying my day and looking to extend it through late night programmes. So really it all comes down to how much fun I allow into my day all the way through.
‘The truth is I was religious with a lot of things, not only TV.’ I can relate to this Cherise I was also religious about eating chocolate and biscuits everyday…this I would never miss. But these choices were not supporting me to live a vital and fulfilled life, just used as medicine to numb what I didn’t want to feel.
How have we got to this place in life that we ‘switch on to switch off’? It seems that we are unable to be in life just as we are and constantly find ways to distract from the tension with feel of being in the world.
A number of years I have wasted watching the idiot box? Now. I have a lot more moments to fill with purpose!
I remember a relationship I had in my 20’s. We spent years without a television and we had a great relationship. We used our time together to talk and share together. Then someone gave us a television. It was like a death for the relationship. The TV took over. We would get home with every intention to talk and share time together, but somehow our interest would sway to the television and we would end up staring at the screen for hours and feel zapped afterwards. Death by television! Not cool!
Reading your blog again today Cherise – I felt very connected to your last sentence – “…making way for an ever-deepening religious way of life that I now have, rich in connection to my knowing, embracing of life and with an openness and love for myself and others. ” I find this too and am more and more appreciating that through all the work with Universal Medicine and the teachings of Serge Benhayon I have found my way back to this too.
I used to watch a show very evening, It was what I looked forward to after a ‘hard day at work.’ in hindsight it was my way to check out instead of using the time to unwind, consider the day, appreciate my self and call out what I could do differently the next day. Much better use of the time, instead I would go to bed numb after watching a show or 2 or 3 and wake up in that energy. I so appreciate that I no longer watch TV.
I am starting to understand that anything I have a relationship with is in some way my religion and if I don’t first start with a full relationship with me, then I can lose myself in anything especially TV.
When I look back and compare at the way screens were present in my life as a child (35 years ago) it makes me ponder how super intense for children it is now and I feel we need to be very supportive of what they are up against. All to easy to just sit back an berate them or our society for where it has got to but we are responsible for that and thus we are responsible for those that are now growing up amongst it. And perhaps the best way to do this is to reflect back to them a level of connection that they will never be able to feel from their screens so that they then at least can feel that they have a choice.
I may not watch TV anymore…but screens are omnipresent in my life and I can still get distracted by social media or the internet. TV or any screen is simply us choosing to step away from our responsibility – which is why so many people use it as a relief from the lives that they know they are not living.
It’s great to hear your honesty hear Otto – I also find myself occasionally watch something on the internet, not TV anymore for a long time, however the energy is the same and the distraction the same. It does not happen all the time but now and then, and when I feel it I then make a different choice these days.
If we connected to those around us at work and in our families, would we need the false connection of the characters and stories of TV? Fascinating how so many of us turn to TV at the end of a day at work; I used to do that the whole time. But what if my day had been filled with connection, transparency and intimacy – perhaps then I would have felt how empty TV actually was?
Great question. Real life relationships or pretend ones from television that actually compound a sense of lack in our real life ones… perpetuating madness?
It’s so powerful to strip TV down to what it actually is, what it actually provides and what we are actually seeking from it. Once that is done, with the honesty of this blog, then it is so much easier to walk away from.
When I was a kid, TV wasn’t used as a baby sitter as much as it is today. However the energy of using TV as ‘together time’ for the family or ‘time-out’ from our day was always there. Now I can feel how the perceived together time is quite the opposite. It provides no connection or deepening of a relationship. It may appear to be enjoyable and comfortable or give you things in common to discuss, but growth and love it does not.
What did we do before television existed? We talked to each other! TV has killed community. And this is not questioned as it has become the normal in our every day. Further than that we get brainwashed and ill informed by it, we give our power away to it, and we think we can’t live without it. It is an insidious addiction in disguise. Where is our true intelligence, our ability to see through illusion and feel for ourselves the truth of that is going on? We have become slaves to the television and we have accepted this. It is very sad.
Not only did we talk to each other, we communed with nature, sat and contemplated, used our hands and voices to make the things we needed and music. We simply rested our bodies. We were fully living and breathing human beings, not remotely controlled automatons.
In this case perhaps TV is now the biggest religion in the developed world as there are few households without at least one television in them.
Yes and not just TV but so many many different channels to choose from – distraction multiplied as in the past, one would not turn on the TV if there was ‘nothing worth watching’. But nowadays boy there is something for everyone on offer 24/7 – all to not connect …
It is a very interesting point that when I take some ‘time out’ from being me and present in my body – a time when I am doing something on my own for myself but I was not really present or engaged in it, to escape from life in some way e.g. TV. I used to believe that this was a harmless thing and that I was not bothering anyone else. However in more recent times I have realised that when I do this I am not developing that deeper relationship and connection with myself, in fact I am degrading this relationship, and that this does in fact have an impact on others, because it also effects my ability to connect and deepen my relationships with others. So when we ‘check out’ of life, others get less of the marvellous us which affects us all.
A pertinent title really – how many of us use Television as our means of relating to the world and to life? In other words, it truly is used as a poor man’s substitute for a true religious experience.
TV is not only such a time waster it has the effect of turning quite gorgeous children into raging monsters! The affect of TV on my children when they were little was so great that I only ever allowed them a half an hour of television viewing a day of a non violent, non hyper show.
Well said. Screens are now called “digital babysitters”. But this terminology makes it all sound very benign and hides the insidious and very real damage that screen time can do to a child – or anyone for that matter.
Yes it really does tick the boxes when we feel the similarity to what Religion has become… comforting, numbing, dis-empowering, indeed feeding a whole way to live that is not us, not our own livingness. A very revealing and direct article.
We live in a world of images that are designed to take us off course from the task at hand – to be in full connection with ourselves with both mind and body working in synergy with each other so that we can receive the vast amount of universal intelligence that is forever streaming through us. If we ignore this, the communication still passes through us but we compromise the antennae that is designed to pick up the signals from the Universe (the Body of God) in which we live. Void of this connection, we seek to be stimulated and seduced by the world of images that bombard us externally so we live life in a stupor that prevents us from truly feeling the godliness we are.
Love this comment in which you perfectly expose the irony/insanity of the situation whereby we have a body that can receive communications of such power and divinity that render any single TV show utterly, utterly purposeless…and yet, by aligning to those far lesser communications, we are dulling our bodies to the real glory that is passing through us. We need to switch channels! Looking for the remote? Try The Way of the Livingness!
If only the same amount of time and energy we put into checking out and distracting ourselves was put into building a loving relationship with ourselves I am sure many of our relationship issues and any illness and disease would greatly improve.
Thank you Cherise, this is a great opportunity to ponder on our relationship with religion and what are we obedient to? is it something that inspires us to be more of who we are in connection to the all or something that is completely the opposite and drains us of our vitality and effects the quality of our movements?
From a very early age I was never keen on TV. I’d like the odd movie, but TV – and now even that odd movie – would quite simply feel draining and jarring. I remember the sound son TV in the back of the house and how I would know that the person watching TV was in relationship with the box on the wall and not with themselves. It never drew me in, and for that I’m super glad. There is so much connection and so much richness in life without a TV.
And PS – not watching TV does not by any means imply not knowing what is going on. They are two very different things.
Agree with you here Katerina, we do not need to watch TV to know what is happening in the world, our communities or indeed our very neighbourhood. In fact, on the contrary, there is more awareness within one to have a more truthful and open view of the world.
How true it is that we can dedicate ourselves to any manner of pursuits to complete a sense of emptiness, to reward ourselves or to feel effective… yet do we apply the same dedication to ourselves? to knowing who we are and to breathing our divine breath?
I do not watch TV for some time now and do not miss it – there is so much in life to get on with, plus I have so much more available time and space to be more productive.
I have hardly watched TV in the last few years and I can’t say I miss it either. When I do watch it, especially when my family asks me to watch something with them, I feel a bit agitated. I can feel the emptiness and pointlessness of watching TV and a complete chasm between us. I usually end up leaving or getting on with something that needs to be done. There is so much more that brings me joy and purpose in life.
We tend to focus always on the device, the computer on our desk, the phone in our hand or the TV in our lounge. Yet they are all driven from our seeking something to fill the emptiness inside. This seeking doesn’t restrain itself but seeps into every channel of our life. As you show Cherise, when it comes to switching this searching off, there is only one way – cherish and Love yourself deep inside, instead of following life’s soap opera.
I wonder what would happen if we stopped all the entertainment we consume on a day to day basis. I know I would have to feel a lot more of what is truly going on, and also I would get to feel what is also circulating around me in terms of the unavoidable stillness and life. Sometimes we look for the meaning to life and it’s actually all there awaiting if we just listen a bit more carefully.
If we admit that anything can be a religious experience, following a football team, eating sweets, gossiping, working out, it will allow us to assess our choice of religion and perhaps expose the forms of being religious that are not actually healthy. Our measure of religion could and maybe should support our wellbeing, and not be to the detriment of anyone else.
While I have never really felt that I had to watch television and have always been happy to do other things I have felt that it draws you in. If you watch one program and channel hop you can easily be drawn in to program after program. They are hooking but there is a desire to check out first in making the choice to watch television like this. I am grateful that my parents didn’t do this and would only select a particular program of interest from a TV guide, watch it and then turn off the television so although I have gone through periods of being more ‘engrossed’ in TV I had a good foundation on which to make such choices or not.
It never would have occurred to me that all the time I was coming home from school, then work and spending all my time watching TV that I was actually being religious with my TV, but looking at it now it certainly was and in all sense of the word I was wanting it to make me feel better. It was not a wise religion for I would feel tired and less purposeful as a result of watching it, but i was hooked and addicted. Seeing the effect it had on me has been what inspired me to let go of TV, that and the full life that I now lead.
We choose watching tv as a means of coming together/having family time, yet are we really ‘together’ when we are sitting with each other watching a screen?
So true, looking back I can see how exhausting it was to flop in front of the television with a plate of heavy food like pasta and a glass of wine. No wonder it was always such a struggle to get of out bed for work the next day. I had multiple alarm clocks and one that was exceedingly loud as I used to be able to sleep through everything so I was almos always rushing for work.
Television is only one of many ways we distract ourselves from feeling what is going on in our bodies and it seems the more we do this the more we need the stimulation. Marketing material for example is now needing to become more enticing with videos and moving images because the average view time spent on a website is about 8 seconds so in order to draw someone in to stay long enough marketing companies are promoting moving images to engage us. I see moving images everywhere with images on repeat and and I find myself sucked in by these all the time.
How many people may not even question the time spent in front of the TV, as it has become such a religion and such a part of life. When I was young I remember the old black and white and we as a family would watch the news and then Coronation Street, I was too young to really understand what was going on but even then these soaps would suck people in. Now we have endless soaps, rom coms, talent shows you name it and TV’s that are huge, like over 70 inches. Where will it go in the future if we don’t get a handle on it?
Hmmm. Great question. I do have a sense of the escalating madness – and an inevitable implosion.
Spending less time with TV, film and fictional characters, opens up space to deepen relationships with people in our own lives.
Is TV the only addictive habit we can quit and have no real physical withdrawal symptoms and have almost immediate positive results?
TV has been my family since I was 15 years old. When the at home family issues became too much, or when my partners were not present in the way I needed, TV was my friend and family, or so I thought. Truth is TV was my drug of choice, and never, ever gave me the love and connection I was seeking.
My engagement with television has changed dramatically over the last 8 years. I too used to come home and like a habit would turn on the TV automatically, often for the background noise. Or if for whatever reason I was home early enough to watch Neighbours and Home & Away, I would think I was winning! Even planning my week would revolve around what shows were on what night, and this was the same with my friends. Thankfully I no longer live so vicariously through the fantasy of television, but this certainly hasn’t happened over night. The more importance I have placed on my well being and my willingness to uncover what keeps me wanting and needing so much distraction has really aided me to let go of the all consuming entertainment and fantasy land that TV provided me. I still occasionally watch a show here and there, but in a month this might happen 2-4 times as opposed to 60-80 + times a week like the old days. An enormous shift.
TV shows and the people that produce them come up with new ways to lure us in – and the amount of channels available means there is something for everyone, all the time. So it comes down to asking why – why do we like checking out.
The level of TV distraction now shadow us within all elements of our lives. Screens are used in doctor surgeries, check out counters at the supermarket, at the petrol station and even in restaurants while you are waiting for your meal to be served. All offered to make our lives more comfortable yet my experience is far more draining than that. It makes me questions whether they are here to serve or harm?
I grew up in a TV-centric home…it was ALWAYS on, from 7.00am until bedtime – and this was always delayed catch the end of a program that interestingly never really ended but left you unresolved and waiting for more…next week…Oh my! What a way to live.
My journey was similar to yours, starting with children’s programs, then music videos…on and on to drama, and lifestyle programs and the weekend movies. Didn’t really care what it was. I found it very comforting to have the noise and the busyness of it in my home.
A few years ago I stopped general TV viewing and would only watch selected DVD’s only..in fact I never connected my TV to the antennae, so I couldn’t receive the channels. Having said that it was still a form of escapism, a bit of down-time before bed.
Then, 2 years ago, I had a shocking moment of realising that I hadn’t turned my TV on at all for goodness knows how long. It could have been 6 months, perhaps a year. When I tried to turn it on it didn’t work at all. Hilarious really as it was only 5 years old. It died of neglect and went out with the council garbage collection.
I have not missed it at all. The room feels lovely without it and so does my life.
What I have noticed is that Social Media is having a similar religious/ medicating effect, filling the gap where TV used to be. I am not running away from this one. Just being aware that I can use it as a relationship for escape, or a relationship to build connection. The choice is mine.
The television was one big check out for me , I would always , almost instantly, fall asleep in front of the screen, so never got to watch much really! But I did grow up with our family evenings mostly taken over with television programs and the thought of not watching anything after dinner would leave a gaping hole.
How I love NOT watching television now. I wonder how I ever found the time to do it, and revel in the wonderful space I have in my life to live to the fullest.
Thanks, Cherise. It is so true that most of us switch on the television, computer, phone etc to switch ourselves off. This is a simple statement and yet explains so much of what is going wrong in the world, as we are fostering disconnection from ourselves and others.
I found with my children, we did see children’s programs together and the time was very limited. They had not heaps of exposure in their early years, that changed when they got older and started to see series’ with me. It was lovely at times, as we snuggled on the sofa and talked and shared at the same time about what we were watching, however it did not rule our household as we also played a lot and the children loved the playing with me in the evenings much more than the TV.
When I grew up, TV was not so common and not everyone had one. My grandparents had a b&w TV and it was a privilege to watch a children’s program on Sunday afternoon. That was the extent of TV watching in my childhood under 10. Later that changed, but still was monitored and strictly kept to a minimum, also what I was allowed to watch. During the week definitely nothing, but more on weekends. Yet I was not that interested as I preferred to be outside with my friends. And much later again, when I moved out, I didn’t have a TV until a lot later, then it started with news and movies and series’. The one thing that was always strong was that one does not watch TV until after dinner…
Wow awesome sharing Cherise and such a great blog for many. Although I have not used TV to that degree, nevertheless there were programs and series’ that I watched regularly too and did not want to miss either. Like you, no more of that and the relationship I now have with myself and others is so different as the ‘off switch’ to my self in this form has been mostly deactivated.
Television is a great religion, it allows us to worship every day with maximal convenience. We can even combine it with other religions on many cable TV channels.
That’s it Christoph! and combine it with a religious relationship with food or alcohol and there we have a double or triple whammy that keeps us distracted in our homes – the very places that hold the potential of supporting us for a way of living that is loving, committed and purposeful.
It is amazing to see how tv can become such a big part of ones life offering us all the company , entertainment and escape from our reality . The amount this happens creeps us on us if we are not careful the violence quality harm and addictive nature of most tv comes from us and is provided for our needs and if we were more discerning in what we watched the producers would get the massage and then true quality and educative ways of living could one day be the values we will all want and receive.
I have come to understand that the word ‘religious’ simply means ‘to be in a relationship with’ and so, knowing that we are all in relationships constantly with lots of things, the most important questions for us to ask is what are we are in relationships with and what is the quality of those relationships?
A great question to ask ourselves for we are never not in relationship be that with other people or pursuits.
A wonderful question that stops us from thinking someone else is responsible for telling us about ‘religion’ and we ought to follow as is prescribed, but invites a deepening understanding and level of responsibility about what we are choosing in our own lives – our own relationship with life and every minute aspect of it.
‘My commitment and purpose is now about living a loving and healthy relationship with me, so that I can bring this quality to others too.’ I love how all encompassing this is and in complete contrast to checking out with TV etc. By building an intimate relationship with ourselves we then have so much more to offer to others including the reflection of another way of living without the need for constant distraction.
When we live in a self -loving way and really cherish ourselves it brings such a contentment to our bodies that there is no way we would want to check out of it. This is what I am discovering for myself. When a thought drops into my mind I can now stop to check in and feel where did that thought come from and why does it want me to act in a certain way, where have I dropped the ball that allows such a thought to creep into my mind in the first place.
What has been built around the idiot tube? We have chairs that recline. Fold away dinner trays. Armchair saddles for organising our remotes to ensure they are always at hand. For the sportsman, a keg fridge with a tap so you never have to miss any action. Beds with the TV that comes out of the foot board. Brackets to hang one any and everywhere. Phone, pads and laptops for live steaming. Has TV become our altar for the number one religion in the world?
This is so true, Steve. So much dedication to the rituals of this ‘religious activity’ which disconnects us from ourselves and each other.
The quality and integrity of the TV programmes screened today are on the whole so poor that my husband and I decided (quite a few years ago) to ditch the TV altogether. What an enriching decision this has been to our lives as we have profitably regained the hours wasted watching pointless programmes with much more fulfilling activities, one of those being deepening our relationship by actually interacting with each other at the end of the day rather than slumping in front of the box and numbing our brains.
Programs have become better and better at producing exactly what people want. Today’s programs are much more targeted and are an interesting and not-very-beautiful mirror to us.
It is shocking that human beings have strayed so far from the glorious and sparkling beings we are.
It is crazy. We choose in our millions day and night to be controlled and manipulated by forces outside of our control, as if unable to think and feel for ourselves. The only way to return to a truer way of living and break free of these poisonous distractions is to reject TV or its worst excesses and understand that by doing so we re-claim our true selves. Let’s choose what we want for ourselves, not simple accept what we’re given.
We commonly have more of a relationship with TV and TV programs than we do with each other, it is an observed fact, and when we relate to each other through TV programs and news etc we aren’t relating but just repeating what was on the TV ..
With any hobby, distraction or activity it’s so important to observe in ourselves if we switch off and check out, because it’s these moments where we drop the ball when a lot of disregard can creep in, both in how we look after ourselves AND in our relationships, creating unnecessary issues that aren’t natural.
Once I thought I was giving myself a reward if I allowed myself TV time but now I can actually see how we limit the amazingness we can live with ourselves and others if we let TV be our best friend and filler of empty moments. What changed is that I started to be self-loving and caring in the most simplest ways and this has blossomed into loving myself so much I do rather not watch TV and do something that I really enjoy.
An awesome turn around. When I watch TV I can feel myself getting sucked into it and wanting to know more or watch more. It really drains me and leaves me thinking about the thing I was watching for days. I am no longer in my body. So it has shown to me how consuming TV can be and reading this blog reiterates that there can be so much more than giving time away to TV.
Such wise words, Elizabeth and interestingly my 18 year old has said a similar thing about social media… that he had a chance to grow up developing real relationships rather than virtual ones. It is really important to consider the ongoing impact of our current relationship with screens.
This is so healing to read and write about. Growing up I felt those around me had cocooned themselves in their own little bubble of concerns, when I desperately wanted to connect and play. I too decided I would shut down (just as I am sure they did when they were young) and take whatever was on offer to numb out the deep grief felt when we lose connection with ourselves, one another and God. Comfort eating (sweet foods were handed out if anyone was upset as people feared their feelings) and television was its partner, an effective duo. What’s interesting is that all the children acted in this way even though we had each other to play with.
I know I have continued my addiction to TV but understanding as I write this where it has come from – that it is my substitute to having a relationship with myself and therefore a true relationship with another – my taking on board that it was far safer to numb out than feel ones feelings. I now have the chance to challenge this notion that feelings are too much to feel and simply feel whatever is there – far more loving than allowing myself to be at the whim of the torrent of emotions that come through through the TV show. Far more loving to have a real, let alone true relationship with myself so that I can bring who I truly am into relationships with others.
Lot’s of time in conversation with others, there is mention of giving a child an iphone or ipad because they like playing with it, or playing games on it. How detrimental is it to cave in to the children and their emotional demands all for the sake of so called love, to let them check out with these devices. They are only wanting it to stop feeling the emptiness of not being met.
There is so many things in life that we know have not really served us but we keep doing them anyhow. Sometimes it is because we do not know what else to do, so it is great to read how you connected with yourself instead and made life more real and full because of that.
Staying up later than I really needed to watch the end of a program always made me more fatigued the following day, but the hook of some programs and the wanting distraction from my life, made me constantly want to choose this again and again.
In the past when I watched the TV I noticed that my focus for the day would be lost and I would feel lethargic, and then it was a struggle to get myself motivated again. The programs would hook me in and then even when I was doing other tasks the show would be playing out in my head. So it is easy to see why it would be described as an addiction.
We need to feel more what watching TV does to children and how this sets them up for a potential life long habit of checking out. If sitting a child in front of the TV keeps them quiet and entertained whilst allowing a parent or carer to ‘get on with other things’ then what is happening to the child during this time?
I would religiously watch television after work with a glass of wine, it was my way of blocking out the tension in my body and what I did not want to feel or remember from my day. It’s interesting though because even though I did it regularly, I didn’t like how it kept me awake later than my body calls to go to sleep and would perpetuate this cycle of tiredness that I didn’t seem to be able to break.
Even though I have not had a television for nearly 10 years, I still receive a letter from TV licensing to ask if I’ve changed my mind. It’s interesting because I called to say, I’m never going back but it’s not possible to take me off the list. I wonder though if this may change as the world of television seems to be shifting online, perhaps we won’t have conventional TV in our homes much longer?
The moment we are not present with our bodies and what we are doing this makes us feel uncomfortable. Being entertained, whether that was by watching a movie or a tv show, was just one of many ways I would avoid feeling just how uncomfortable and disturbed I felt.
It’s great to redefine religion and appreciate that we are all religious in some way, then we get to explore what are we being religious with and does that support us, nurture us and help us evolve or does it take us away from our true essence and from God? Something for me to ponder on with everything that I do and am.
There are laws about the hazards of products and full discloser for consumers. Why don’t TVs come with a book! How do you deal with an addiction that the basic starter package is free? Then you move up to the hard drugs like cable and satellite; but, you have to pay for this higher level of bliss! Now you can have your drug of choice picked for you by algorithms by the internet from your past use and can be supplied 24/7 on things you carry around with you everywhere, that is another drug by its self! Going cold turkey is the best way to kick an addiction, but until you discover the root of what we are using the drug for, there can be a yo-yo effect on your successfully ending this bad habit of self-abuse! TV has become just like the old rituals of a religion that we blindly follow, but have forgotten why!
Wow… what an honest and inspiring article about our masterful approach to finding things to distract us, and your insight into this and willingness to turn it round. Thank you for sharing, Cherise.
I wonder if TV is the biggest religion in the world, there can’t be many people that at one time weren’t hooked on a show or just sat staring at one of the biggest time wasting machines ever invented. I remember when I used to go to the pub after work every night and one of the subjects we would talk about used to be what we watched on TV when we got home from the pub the night before. Oh what a life I used to lead!
If television was injectable it might make us wise up to the fact that it’s not as benign as we think it is.
Like us, television is a medium through which two different energetic sources can potentially pass and like us, the key question is which energetic source is coming through.
In the same way, there was a time when I could not imagine going a day without watching something on the TV, I had no idea of the riches that were waiting for me and my family as soon as the TV was turned off for good and we made our relationships with each other, something far more important than what was happening on the little screen.
It’s so widely accepted that everyone has a TV that when we here of someone who doesn’t have a TV then we are somewhat astounded. This is a dire reflection of just how separated we are living from ourselves, that we are more than happy to zone out in front of the telly night after night. When we are connected to the truth of who we are then the last thing you would want to do would be to sever that connection by watching the telly.
Many of us see the Goggle Box as a friendly, welcoming form of entertainment but as everything in life falls into one of two categories, namely ‘harming’ or ‘healing’ then it is up to us to discern which category television falls into. It helps when discerning to remember that the criteria for the discernment is whether or not something supports us to either stay connected with ourselves or to re-connect with ourselves. Anything that disconnects us from ourselves, instantly falls into the category of ‘harming’.
TV is a massive distraction and temporary soother that prevents us from feeling what is going on in our lives. It can masquerade as a means of sharing time together whilst preventing us from truly being together.
Isn’t fascinating how many of us would never ever want to admit that our lives are being run by not only TV but work, demands of others, wants, needs and cravings and anything and everything outside of us. We so badly want to say that our life is rich and full yet we are giving our power away to those things outside of us at the expense of the love and truth we feel within. There can never be true content in our lives while we are not honouring our inner knowing, the truth and richness of life we know and want to live yet perhaps feel we cannot in a world that is not set up to honour it.
To consider replationship in this way is game changing – to see it as a reconnection to the all that we are and everything we do with that supports this reconnection as a part of our religion.
Women and soaps, without them, does make you stand out, but what are you missing when you enjoin in these water-cooler moments at work? Could it be a double whammy of checking out from the same source? I have never been into sports, that in England is unheard of, it’s unnatural! Now, that I have ended my relationship with my long-term mistress, TV, there are more opportunities to connect on a more truthfully deeper level with others.
If we had a choice between TV and true love why is it that most of humanity would chose TV? I know I did for years, as it was easier to numb out in front of TV and get involved in characters in a TV series rather then take responsibility for my life and develop a loving relationship with myself and real people.
I recall as a child I used TV as my comfort, to check out from the world, when I was feeling low in myself. When I was with my self I would find myself playing on my own or with cousins, I was never bored. But reflecting back as I got older I could see how TV was the way to shut down my feelings and get abuse in.
I didn’t really think of those things as religious activities before now, but you are spot on Cherise. I was not such an evangelist when it came to TV, more so a romantic or a thriller novel, but also knew at some level it was an ‘escape’ from things I didn’t want to feel or face. In truth it was mostly the relationship with myself and my own true value that was missing, as you so beautifully put, and now with that far more intact and developed, I now understand true religious activity.
It’s interesting how films were never really my thing as I used to get fidgety half way through and wanted to get up to and do something different yet a series on television could draw me in so that not only did I not want to miss it but I wanted to talk about it and live from it as my life felt mundane in comparison. Understanding how to have a truly enriched life has changed everything for me.
When I was religiously watching TV, I used to plan my week around my favorite TV shows. I realise now how crazy this was because I was putting them before connecting with people. I no longer watch TV anymore and I feel free from the emotional hooks and stories which leaves me with more time and energy to focus on things that really matters to me. That is developing my connection with myself and people. I didn’t realise how addicted I was to television and how much it affected my relationships until I was no longer numbing myself with this form of drug like addiction.
Thank you Cherise for a great sharing. I love your words “My commitment to purpose is now about living a loving healthy relationship with me so that I can bring this quality to others too”.
Great blog, Cherise. Considering what we are religious about in life is worth doing on a regular basis, so that we can review whether it is truly supporting us to be more.
Beautiful sharing your process of evolution Cherise, thank you.
TV programs can be like a drug. They can be addictive. They are written in a way that keeps people wanting more and they get talked about in homes and workplaces as if they are real. And whilst people are watching these programs, they are checking out. They are a check out from their own lives and what is going on there.
Just as organized religion can play a significant role in one’s life, so too can other things such as TV or theatre going, gardening or motor racing – we could say that they inform our conversations at times, are activities we share with friends and family and things we might think about when we want to ease the strain of a hard day or week.
It feels important for us to name our TV watching for what it is, an addiction just the same as a drug. The planning your life around TV, choosing it over connecting with people or any care for self is just the same. It seems like a harmless habit to watch some nightly TV, but I have had friends who have found just how addicted they were when they tried to give up.
Yes Fiona, when we start to be honest about our addictions we realise that they go way beyond what we have accepted to be harmful drugs in the form of alcohol and narcotics to many socially acceptable norms. It is not the drug so much that is the problem as what is making us choose the drug that is key. Once we understand this we can start to be more honest about our behaviours and patterns.
I always think of my most satisfying and memorable experiences in my life, and despite the many hours I have spent watching TV, none of my great memories come from that time. It goes to show me that a rich and fulfilling experience is never found in front of a TV screen.
When I sit and watch television it makes me feel drained by the end of it and even more tired than what I was before I started to watch it. Some programs are worse than others but never did I feel rejuvenated. I stopped watching tv quite a while ago and I never feel like I am lost with nothing to do and I am feeling much more vital when I wake in the mornings.
Me too. I reel when I consider the time I spent watching TV – so much life wasted! And I say that without drama but from a place of such appreciation for life and all that it has to offer.
Same here, what I noticed was that if I got up feeling bright and had focus on what I was going to do for the day, this would go if I watched any TV in the morning or watched a recording of a show, or even spend too much time on the Facebook, or media sights. Suddenly I would feel lethargic and can’t be bothered, and want to eat rubbish. Staying away from the TV has definitely given me more energy to get up and go.
A great example of how we can become ‘religious’ about anything at all, it is just that some of the things we become religious about are definitely not very good for us. Like you television became my religion, as did many other distractions, that I used to fill that gaping emptiness inside, but even with all these distractions I never felt “full”, that was until I started to become very honest with myself about the way I was living. So much has changed with this honesty and now I have become deeply religious about the way I love and care for myself, so much so there is no longer any emptiness to fill.
The ability to record TV programmes was something I appreciated – I could watch what I wanted in my own time and could fast forward through the adverts. That way I didn’t have to watch the drivel that was on – I found most programmes pretty rubbish. Eventually I came to realise that me watching detective films was just me wanting a satisfactory ending before I went to bed, and I learned that reading a few pages from one of Serge Benhayon’s books gave me a much better wind down time, and I slept far better. In the end I sold my TV as I wasn’t using it and I haven’t missed it.
When we see these behaviours not simply as habits but something we have developed a religious relationship with, it changes our perception of them and how we approch changing them.
It’s interesting how quickly watching TV can be a habit or in some cases an addiction. It is by no accident that TV programs are hooking in this way, providing distraction and escape meaning that we can take time out from life and indulge in ‘entertainment’ almost anytime we choose.
We really can’t feel the full effect that the TV is having until it is switched off. It takes over our whole lives, the house, our relationships. It replaces true connection and provides distraction. It fills our heads with stuff that we don’t really need and gives us something false to worry about. With the TV off we have a chance to feel the truth – The truth of how we are, the truth of our relationships, the truth of our mental health, We can also feel the truth of how the world is simply by connecting. We don’t need no news to tell us that. As a human race we give far too much power away to the TV. We allow ourselves to be controlled and sold to. With the TV off we can reclaim our power and live connected to the truth of what we can feel.
So well said Rebecca, in fact our good old pal the Telly Box is really quite a sinister character.
I was reminded of my younger years growing up whilst reading this blog this time, we would have our rituals with certain programs that always had to be watched on Saturday morning. There were also rituals with chips and yogurt in the evening before (!) dinner. It shows how we love to live with rituals yet it did not appear to us at that time to check what the rituals were serving: filling an emptiness or building love. It is always one or the other.
The more enriched our lives become the less the pull to watch television.
When I was in the habit of watching TV I couldn’t imagine life without it. Now that I am not watching TV I couldn’t imagine life with it. Understanding that everything is energy can change our perspective on everything.
It is only since meeting Serge Benhayon, a man who lives with dedication and purpose to humanity 24/7 I have started to see how much of our lives we waste. This is especially significant because we are each immensely powerful and capable of offering so much to the world.
If we were going round a race track all those moments of busying ourselves with our choice of comfort is like sitting in the pit stop. It is a worthy question asking ourselves just how much of our lives are we deliberately and unnecessary in the pit stop and how much effort it takes each time to get going once we get back on the track?
I remember the first time cable TV was introduced and I was keen to be wired up. At the time I was living in Alabama in the US for two years because of my job, not by choice, in the Bible Belt! We got 106 channels, about 40 were religious, and 40 were reruns of everything 15 children what was left was the standard network stations and a few movie channels. I was paying for 100 channels of rubbish. Now we have HD, 4K, 3D, surround sound and amazing CGI, that is still mutton dressed as lamb. Remember Sesame Street and where the Grouch lived, in a garbage can? Was that a portent of what to expect in our viewing future, more rubbish?
I feel most of the people that watch TV watch it so they can switch off from life and have their escape moments. I haven’t watched TV for 2 years or more now and I don’t miss it one bit. I am able to wake early rejuvenated and ready to start the day and when I go to bed I am able to sleep almost immediately. I know that when I watched TV that I would not have the same rejuvenated sleep and would often feel lethargic and less likely to want to to get out of bed.
“My relationship with TV started long ago when I was a child and it was only when I stopped watching TV that I realised how all consuming this relationship had been in my life” – agree Cherise, and the more i started living truly, truly enjoying life, the more important time became to me and in this what things were wasting of it and of myself/body..
“TV once dictated how I spent my time – how I spent my evenings with my family, how I planned my day and at what time of night I would eventually go to bed. I based my life around TV rather than true love. ” Cherise this is so similar to the way in which I lived, and to see the level of disregard and abuse this left throughout my work is quite extraordinary and how dissatisfied and disengaged with life I was, also became a normal thing. I would get by each day on the surface looking great to those on the outside, but inside nothing felt right or true. It was not only TV but that played a big part, i used it to escape and therefore not change what was underneath everything.
I would guess that many are missing a deeply loving and religious relationship with themselves and instead settling for a far inferior quality of life than what is possible should we let go of the religious ways of being that do not serve us and keep us from truly embracing all that life has to offer.
When my children were young I used to really look forward to the time after they were all in bed and even though I was tired and ready for bed myself, I would override that to have that ‘downtime’ in front of the TV and invariably get so hooked up on what I was watching that I would always have to see the end no matter what. The price I paid was finding it a struggle to get out of bed every morning and yet I continued this ritual for many years. How ridiculous now that I realise I was totally addicted and what a hold TV had on me, when the most loving thing I can do for me is to go to bed early and how lovely it feels to wake up early and refreshed for the beginning of a new day. Sometimes though not often I can still feel the pull to turn the TV on, but I am aware it is because I want to escape something that has come up that I’m not wanting to deal with, or I want to use it as a reward and being aware of this makes it easy for me to say no. The mind too can play games, the thought like wondering what’s on the TV. comes in and so for me the first thing is not to entertain the thought and then it’s easy to say no. Another added bonus is that without the stimulation of the TV or any screen before going bed that I go to sleep within a very short time, for my mind is not still playing out the show in my head.
Being religious has everything to do with a reconnection to the truth so that the word was intended for those who hold God as a connection that we are returning to or rebinding with. Like many words religion and being religious have lost the truths, for which they were intended so that they keep humanity from the great truths, which have been delivered by the ageless wisdom.
There are so many things in life like tv that we religiously do and yet we can claim ourselves as non religious. It’s so lovely to know the true meaning of religion and start to live it as the body knows this rhythm so very well.
I didnt grow up with a TV as my father believed it was ‘a time-waster,’ which was a challenge in the day when homework was to watch a particular show, so TV has never been a big focus of my life. However I remember being at friends places where everyone would be focused on the TV – even conversations happened whilst eyes were still glued to the TV – I didnt like it at the time and when I feel it now it was actually quite painful and disturbing to feel the level of disconnection there.
We never had a television in our house while growing up my father didn’t approve of them and what a blessing that was for me because then when I went out into the world a television was not a must have item for me or the friends I lived with. And then bringing up my daughter the television was there, I bought one because everyone else had one but it wasn’t something that we watched that much and it got to the point where we just forgot to watch it at all. And so I wonder if I had a different experience as a child and we had been allowed a television would it have made a difference? Would we as children learnt to rely on it to the extent when growing up it was something we relied on and used as a prop to help us get through life, as some people say that television was their best friend against loneliness.
What a beautiful foundation of love to live from, Cherise – “My commitment and purpose is now about living a loving and healthy relationship with me, so that I can bring this quality to others too.”
Cherise, I love how you have talked about the TV and how you have had a religious relationship with it in your life previously. TV is a ‘beast’ that can take over and dictate how we live, if we let it do so. It is a very strongly numbing tool – in other words it really does make it harder for one to feel what one is actually feeling as it hardens the person supporting a checkout. I used to notice that my body would get really nervous and excited and tensed up if ever I did sit down to watch TV or to watch a movie – it was like I was on coffee or had a ‘buzz’ – this would often make it very difficult for me to sleep and switch off and relax at night- and seeing as I did not like to miss out on my sleep and how awful I would feel the next day, I preferred to not watch TV or movies or if I did watch them then I would watch a movie in snippets of 20 mins to 30 mins max in one day (would take me a few days to finish watching a movie!). Bottom line is for each of us to feel which one we prefer – being religious with the TV and its ‘follower’ OR being deeply religious with ourselves and the true needs of our body and being.
This is a gorgeous and magical way to be in life….”… making way for an ever-deepening religious way of life that I now have, rich in connection to my knowing, embracing of life and with an openness and love for myself and others.” Far more interesting and inspiring than any entertainment could ever be!
When I watch TV I am avoiding my purpose. It is as simple as that and that is the truth I know in my body. might be different for others – but i am great at playing the game and thinking it is me time or it wont affect me or anyone else.
I wonder how many of us religiously put on tv just to have background noise in the room? This is something I have noticed going into people’s houses and also when I go into people’s rooms in the hospital I work at. They might not be watching TV but they prefer the distraction to having silence. Could it be that in the silence they begin to feel there is something missing in their lives, perhaps a sense of emptiness or lack of self love?
This is such a great account of how out of control our relationship with TV can become and funnily enough, we perceive this as “normal”. I can honestly say that I was exactly the same as you with my commitment to TV. I hardly watch much anymore but I am not over it all together, as now, with Apple – you can occasionally watch and don’t even have to tape it. Most nights I just do more work or chat but sometimes I really enjoy watching a movie or a show. I am not quite ready- to say goodbye forever. I still feel it holds a value- I’m probably just kidding myself but I am getting there slowly, in stages, what can I say, its addictive and withdrawals a bitch! Haha
We can make anything a ‘ritual’, and it’s up to us to develop SUPPORTING rituals that help us connect to people and enrich life, as opposed to those that cause disengagement and damage to our body.
So true Susie W, I have had some very damaging rituals in the past, fuelled by a deep self loathing and lack of purpose that never, ever truly fulfilled me but always left me searching for something more. Building rituals that lovingly support my body and strengthen my inner connection has been truly life changing and have connected me to an inner well of wisdom and purpose that the TV can never compete with.
I can remember the channel surfing I used to do – when I thought I was bored and was looking for stimulation, anything to just check out – but in the same way we can feel hungry when really it’s not hunger, it was me feeling the listlessness of lack of purpose, of not having something to commit to.
Television drains us more than we realise, the facade or “rest” is the feeling of relief and in that we are drained as our body does not have purpose.
I’ve noticed that people who live alone often seem to use the TV for ‘company’, but it’s actually creating a distraction so we don’t have to feel what’s going on for us, to acknowledge how we’re truly feeling. When we live in connection with ourselves, we are never alone, we can feel the inter-connectivity of being a part of the whole, it’s gorgeous.
TV really took a turn some years back when reality TV started to show up, whereby you watch people in their own homes doing nothing much or in a house full of volunteers, a bit like an experiment to see how they will interact with each other. It made no sense to sit on a couch watching someone else go about their life – how does that enhance our own lives?
‘…… I always felt an emptiness and a lack of self-love within that I worked tirelessly to fill – with TV, stimulation or entertainment and food; most commonly using all at the same time. ‘ – it’s interesting how we choose to fill our lives with distractions and numbing activities or substances to take away the feeling of emptiness, brought about from the dis-connection to our gorgeous selves, when we could just choose to re-connect.
“I was missing the deeply loving and religious relationship with myself that I knew was possible. ” I can really relate that from this point, from missing this connection we seek anything and everything. Like you TV was a big filler and my religion for many years, I had my own rituals with it including copious amounts of popcorn and sweets but all of this stemmed from my missing my relationship with myself.
I found TV very soothing when I felt I had nothing to do or when I was too tired to do anything but these days I have lots of interesting and fun things to do so TV simply fell by the wayside.
I love this – television was definitely my religion too, I used to have a whole schedule after school, from about 5pm to 7:30pm of neighbours, and home and away, and eastenders (and more), what dedication to distracting myself, and imagine that much dedication to looking after my body and preparing myself for the next day and to everything else in life that needs my attention!
Distraction from our own emptiness is big business. Speaking generally, if we put as much effort into our way of living lovingly towards ourselves and others, as we have done into buying into distraction from life, then life no longer feels empty and the demand for distraction melts away.
When we look at the bigger picture, it’s crazy to see millions of people around the world sitting around screens for entertainment engineered by people we don’t know and who have devised insidious ways to captivate our attention. Over dependence on TV is a sure sign we’ve forgotten how to live for ourselves, use space creatively and lovingly. When we watch TV religiously, it gives our power away and stops us from deeply connecting with ourselves
Tv could well be one of the most popular religions of the day. I have certainly used it to escape from life and found myself flicking through channels for entertainment rather than being super discerning about what I watched. Recently we took the tv out of the sitting room and put it up for sale and how it has freed up that space. The Tv used to dominate the room even when it was switched off. Now the space is free of such imposition and feels much more like home.
A few years ago, I would never have fathomed a life without TV, so strong was my need for it, but changing my priorities and choosing to look at my need, enabled me to let this religious addition go.
I too have not watched any TV or movies for many years and it is very liberating. I used to think TV was entertaining and also used it for a relief. However, since stopping I have a huge amount more energy and space and have discovered it was actually very draining and addictive.
The other thing is that since stopping TV I have been seeing much more in life and am never bored for a moment. People, nature and life is constantly communicating in a truly loving and very often playful way. For example the other day I heard the word sweeping used 3 times in a presentation in an unusual way and was driving along pondering on the word sweeping when I looked up and the car in front had the number plate BROOM – I had such a good laugh.
Same here Nicola, TV was my religion. It took years for me to realise that there is more to life than the TV and that I actually do not miss out on anything, and in fact life is fuller.
Wow – what an amazing blog Cherise. I could not hold back to imagine what would be happening if the whole world would give up looking TV!
Marika and Lyndy I can relate to what you say about living alone and TV becoming a companion of sorts in the space between coming home and going to bed. It’s a great marker of how I’m feeling if TV automatically becomes my bridge to bed. Some programmes I watch out of interest and for learning, these are different from those I watch to switch off. I find it is not the physical TV that’s the problem, I don’t have one, but watch programmes on my iPad. It’s the emptiness we feel inside we need to look at and this won’t necessarily be filled by another person coming into our lives. Important not to beat ourselves up about this, but be carefully observant of the reasons why we feel reluctant to lovingly hold space with ourselves. Be playful and experiment in the way of Marika. It is also about love. If we were to ask ourselves ‘is this the most loving way to be with myself?’ What would the answer be?
One day our energetic awareness will increase to such a point that the word ‘alone’ will become null and void as we will come to know that there is no such thing as being alone. ‘Being alone’ is simply a state of not being aware enough to feel that we are all part of one glorious interconnected whole.
Beautifully said Alexis.
‘‘Being alone’ is simply a state of not being aware enough to feel that we are all part of one glorious interconnected whole.’
Which ironically, is what television is attempting to deliver us – connection.
I agree sometimes it is good to see things to know what is going on in the world, especially if there are documentaries on with regards to different professions people are in but it can definitely be used as a way of checking out and with what you have shared here to stop feeling ‘along’ within a home. I havent had a tv or watched tv for many years now but can really relate with everything that is expressed here.
“I would arrive straight home from work and turn on the TV, keeping it switched on to help me switch off until that last minute before sleep” – I used to do the exact same Cherise, and also automatically as soon as I woke up too…on went the news, and living on my own, TV was a source of activity, sound, background noise .. because I didn’t want to feel the noise behind and underneath the background chatter, i.e. myself and what ‘news’ was worth taking note of. In the beauty of silence and stillness, the news is very loud, and profound.
As a child I remember during the winter the TV was moved into the dining room as then we didn’t have to heat the lounge and the evening news was on when we ate our dinner which killed any conversation that might have happened. We were actually not allowed to talk during the news and it sort of instilled in me that the news was the most important thing in the world and watching the news became like some nightly religious ritual until I realised the world would not stop if I missed watching it, especially now I know how biased and untrue it can be.
I am amazed after reading your blog Sherise in which at the end you state that you now have no TV any more while in a way you where so addicted to it in the past. Would you at that time ever could have imagined that one day in the future you would have no TV any more? I do not think so but this indicates to me that we are so much more when we become religious to the essence of being and and let go the distractions in life.
We could really fill our time with literally thousands of ways, we could do drugs, alcohol, gaming, TV the list is endless and is crazy to think that all our harmful wasteful habits are because we are avoiding true connection with ourselves.
The insidious thing about TV is there is no effort to indulge in it! You do require a job even if it is a crime, to have funds for drugs, alcohol, gaming, gambling. With TV and other similar past times, where is our self, on our list of priorities?
You nominate so many things that I would say are taken as normal for the majority of people without questioning! I mean there are the classic coping mechnisms like drugs, alcohol and sport, which is now making more of an appearance in those lists, but television…well, bring it on I say. We need to talk about it because we are getting unhealthier not healthier and we need to unpack why!
‘Television was my ‘down-time’, my ‘relax-time’ at the end of a busy or emotional day and it was my best friend when something stressful was going on that I certainly did not want to feel.’ There are many things we can ‘go to’ at the end of the day. I’ve come to understand there’s a big difference between ‘relaxation’ and letting go… one provides momentary relief and the other allows a surrender and therefore a fresh body that is clear of what was taken on during the day.
This is super wise and a great difference to discuss Kylie, thank you for sharing.
TV is an interesting beast which can be very addictive for some people…thankfully since being young I have never really been that interested in TV. I would always find more interesting things to do and would rather play than watch TV – perhaps it helped as I lived in places where there was not much to look at on TV (middle east and africa etc)…But even then when I was older and had access to TV and stacks of programs to watch there was only so long I could ever watch it for. It’s probably been about 15 years since I last watched TV and in all honesty I don’t miss it one bit. Recently I have watched a few episodes of Natalie on TV or Recorded teachings of Serge Benhayon presenting about Symbolism and I can say I have really enjoyed the content. On occasion I will watch a movie but even that is becoming less and less of a chosen activity. In the past, I never liked how I felt after watching or ‘losing myself’ in the TV, so I feel so much of this has to do with the quality of what was being presented – so for the first time I have actually enjoyed my short TV stints with quality presentations by Natalie and Serge.
It is not the TV, the computer screen or whatever device we choose that is the issue but our relationship with them. Anything in life can become a distraction and take us away from our connection with ourselves if we are not discerning about how or why we use them.
Getting lost in the land of screens and images is our very accepted norm today. Great to shed some light here and question why and what we are truly missing out on.
Very interesting to witness here how a religious dedication once devoted to TV is turned around with commitment now towards love and relationship.
I wonder if the more we commit to watching TV, to essentially escape life the harder it is to understand our feelings and express them. For me I feel this was true as I buried how I felt, the tension and discomfort I experienced at school and would find solace in television. It is a difficult pattern to break as through not expressing it then becomes challenging to really share how you feel as the default switch is to look for a stimulating or dulling sensation in favour of actually looking at what is going on and being able to share how one feels.
What you are describing, Cherise, is considered totally normal amongst society and no issue. It’s normal to not want to feel our day at work, it’s normal to sit in front as a TV and call it ‘family time’ when there is no connection even going on and it’s normal to be absorbed by characters lives on TV as a distraction away from our own connection within. This level of normal needs to change.
As I’m sure many have already shared, I can totally relate to this Cherise.
My relationship with being completely consumed by tv drama was pretty intense there for a lot of my life, particularly when I was in a relationship (go figure). I too no longer have a tv, and whilst there are days I long to check out and avoid feeling what is coming up for me, it’s great to not have an automatic reach for the remote. But in saying that, let’s face it, my laptop or ipad isn’t far away…but I choose it far far less than I did before and I’m also way more conscious about what I watch and losing myself in it.
This is such a great account of how out of control our relationship with TV can become and funnily enough, we perceive this as “normal”. I can say that I was exactly the same as you with my commitment to TV. I hardly watch much anymore but I am not over it all together, as now, with Apple TV I only watch things on that and it means you watch it when you want occasionally and don’t even have to tape it. Most nights I just do more work or chat but sometimes I really enjoy watching a movie or a show. I am not quite ready- to say goodbye forever. I still feel it holds a value- I’m probably just kidding myself but my getting there slowly, in stages, withdrawals a bitch! Haha
We kid ourselves that all these things are enabling us to ‘relax’ and ‘unwind’, yet stuffing my face with sweets while watching a movie late at night was actually having the completely opposite physiological effect on my body, which was being over stimulated and poisoned. When we truly come to appreciate what our bodies actually need, a hot bath and an early night for example, we give our selves some true restoration, which in turn reduces our need to unwind and so we begin to create a positive feedback loop for our selves until one day the TV and sweets become completely redundant.
Having met you in person Cherise, I wholeheartedly agree that you do bring a beautiful quality to others. Once we have developed our primary relationship (with ourself), it naturally spreads out to others too.
“My commitment and purpose is now about living a loving and healthy relationship with me, so that I can bring this quality to others too”.
If we spent all the time that we sit in front of the TV with engaging with each other and getting to know each other I am sure the world would be a healthier and more harmonious place.
TV plays a very big part in peoples lives – as it used to in mine. It has been quite sometime since I’ve even had a TV to watch. What I have observed recently when moving house is that with different people coming and going in this process it is a pretty big stand out to them that there is no TV. “Where is the TV going” is the common question. With the reply there is no TV it seems to take people a moment or two to digest this answer.
Feeling the effects that late night was having on my body is the reason I stopped watching T.V. and this happened over 20 years ago. Now I feel so much more vital in my body and at the same time feel much more connected to my body.
The before and after of TV in my life is interesting to reflect upon. It is a similar unfolding – the more self care, nurturing and self love I feel and claim the less TV time required. An absolute 180-degree change has occurred without an ounce of withdrawal. Each moment has been a natural choice: no rules, no hardship, no missing out, simple choice to care for me, then I haven’t needed the TV for company, amusement, distraction or filling in a void.
A group of my colleagues were discussing a story line from a TV series the other day. It took me a while to realise they were not talking about a real life scenario. The way they were talking it sounded like they knew the people concerned and that the story was of huge importance. It’s crazy how the TV series stories become like real life events in people’s lives, and take precedence over real life.
Thank you Cherise, beautiful to read how you have let go of TV and embraced your life back again to be yours and not controlled or dictated to by the shiny bright and colourful screen.
It’s funny how our programming runs parallels in that I watched and grew into similar shows as this article is stating. TV was always a time waster hidden as down time and usually when I watch it now in some way I feel cheated about the time that has been lost. It’s not just the time in front of the TV but also the time spent getting there. If you had a show starting at a certain time or knew you were going to watch TV at the end of the day most of the day was driven in a way to get there. In other words you didn’t just feel cheated about the ‘show time’ but you also felt like you’d lost part of your day. This use to be the norm and so it wouldn’t be so obvious but now things have changed, the way I live has changed and so anything that doesn’t have a true lived quality to it stands out and TV and the approach and after time to TV is the stand out. They no longer fit into how I live, at times I still go there but at the end the feeling is always the same, you feel like something is missing or like you’ve missed something. In other words the time in front of the TV is time away from the quality I normally live, it doesn’t fit any longer for me.
It’s true what you say Cherise television can be the dictator of our life (if we allow this to happen), determining how we spent our time. I no longer watch television but I remember from when I did, I always had the intention to go to bed on time and it never worked out because there was always something that I needed to watch and when that was finished something else.
This is beautiful to read, and inspiring to reestablish a relationship with religion and that which I do religiously, it should not be about checking out but about a constant checking in, into the love we are and the connections we have with ourselves and others.
We could say TV use is like a drug! And in many ways it is. But what I have found interesting with TV is how much it forms a part of our relationship with the media and how we see the world. Especially through the news channels. We take what they say and present as gold and pure fact and I have found that while TV watching we are less inclined to discern in full whether what they tell us is true or not simply because of its engagement and stimulating factor. There is other ways to connect with what is going on in the world and often what is really happening as in what the real issues are, are never talked of much on TV simply because most don’t want to hear them and hence the TV companies make less money on advertising as they have less viewers. Think about it, this is very controlling!
I know that feeling you are talking about here Cherise of wanting to stay up and watch TV especially to the end of the program. I used to do this too frequently. What I always found is that at the end of watching the program or movie I usually felt stimulated and elated but strangely down or empty at the same time. I always felt that something was still missing, or that the uneasiness I had sought to escape from was still there, often more so. So I came to the same conclusion as you really that TV was not the answer and these days if I am feeling anxious, tired or tense or upset about something I try to choose something else that I know will support me far more e.g. having a hot bath, going for a walk or going to the gym or just going to bed and starting again the next day!
It’s great to explore how religiously I have done many things in my life including watching TV every evening and often getting so distracted by it that I ended up going to bed much later than I intended – all so that I could avoid feeling the emptiness in my own life. Not having owned a TV for a couple of years now I can still get hooked into the internet in the same way and what I have learnt is that unless I am prepared to work on my relationship with myself I will continue to search for distractions to fill those gaps.
A great insight as to what religion really is, which is not praying to someone or something outside of ourselves but actually the way we live and this can either be unhealthy (as you have shared with your previous relationship with the tv) or healthy.
Once in a while I do like to watch a movie….usually only when I just want to numb out and not deal with life….a way of checking out… rather than checking in and asking myself… what is it that is going on…what don’t I want to feel? but no, instead I go for a bit of junk food, switch on the movie and switch off me.. and the result is always the same. Tried it time and time again…. I get left feeling drained and sluggish and wonder why I did it again. Reminds me of times years ago when I would drink, get a hangover and wonder why I chose that again.
When I look back on my days of constant tv watching, I can see how much of life I actually missed out on and was really checking out from life through tv watching. When I first decided that I couldn’t watch tv anymore, at first my mind would be constantly telling me to just watch a little of it. But every time I did, I ended up feeling hazy and foggy. Now the pull to watch just isn’t there.
I love how this article holds a magnifying glass to the ‘everyday religion’ that is TV for so many of us. Laid out like this, it is easy to see what a time consuming, energy zapping, sloth-inducing pastime TV addiction is, yet one which – as Cherise points out – is embraced with religious zeal by so many. Seen through these lens it is easy to see this harmful habit for what it truly is. Swapping out the rituals of TV with more wholesome daily choices, religiously followed, is far more beneficial.
It indeed is Victoria, but we can only understand this when we can see that, in this case the TV, has a hold on us and that we are trapped in its illusionary ways in which we think it brings us that what we are so missing from the inside.
I would religiously watch shows that I thought I could not live without and stay up believing I needed to get what it was all about or watching to just have my time. But every time I would be left completely drained and feel worse for sitting there checking out and watching. I can feel now that any thing I use to checkout and relieve myself I feel the same way as when I used to sit for hours and watch TV.
Tuning into ourselves rather than tuning into TV brings such healing. We get to explore the absolute beauty that we are and that is what we miss out on when we spend hours watching TV or with other distractions.
It’s true Elizabeth – we look to TV for connection or some form of stimulation because life is perhaps boring or too repetitive – but if we were to truly connect, feel the enormity of that connection being part of the entire universe and learn to express that connection in a purposeful way then there is not a lot that can be deemed boring in life.
Well said, Elizabeth …. we can be so quick to dismiss our gorgeousness in favour of utter rubbish on the TV. The antidote is to allow more appreciation, to acknowledge how amazing we truly are.
I love this idea, Elizabeth, of tuning into ourselves rather than tv. How much more meaningful and evolving is it to deepen our relationship with ourselves and the world around us?
We are in a society where no one will say to us TV drains us. What I love about this sharing Cherise is that you came to your own understanding on what was supportive – and that TV was no longer a part of this. We can get really sucked into the drama – which as you say – takes us away from building our own qualities. Thank you for sharing your story and being an inspiration that it is possible to make a different choice.
I bet many many people could relate to your former relationship with TV. I can say in the past there were series I just had to watch every episode of, but now there is no attraction at all and I don’t have a TV or a Netflicks account and until I read your blog I hadn’t really appreciated just how far I have come from blobbing out in front of a TV to never watching it and never ever missing it.
I have the same experience, Kathleen.
Wonderful to appreciate how far we have come, Kathleen! Addictions are not just about quitting something – it is when we don’t even feel like something or are not drawn to it anymore, then we know we have truly cut the addiction.
Unfortunately the TV has become a religion for most of humanity, rarely do you hear of someone saying that they do not watch TV and if they do we think them strange in some way – because how could they possibly not want to watch the latest whatever. I know I used to think like this, and found it confronting when people told me they did not own a TV, let alone watch one.
TV has been a huge distraction for me, and became very addictive. I say became because now it is a thing of the past, due to the fact that it dawned on me how much time I was wasting by watching meaningless shows that did not enrich mine or any other person’s life.
Brilliant. We are never not religious. We are always in a relationship of some sort, and as we choose to re-connect back to the truth of what we are, the relationship that we have been craving the most resurfaces and everything else that we have amassed in order to fill its absence becomes redundant.
Cherise, after many years of not watching T.V if I am at someone’s house or a T.V is on in a supermarket I can instantly feel how hooking it is, it feels noisy and I notice with my young son who is not used to T.V how he stands there and stares completely mesmerized and that it is like he is in a trance, unaware of anything else going on around him.
I have always made a point of watching the evening news, but I have realised this is also a time where I allow myself to check out or get emotional about something which often leads to me watching something else. Our relationship with TV is seriously something we need to look at with a lot of honesty.
Reflecting back when I started watching TV, there were only three channels with 1 1/2 hours of two shows for kids Monday to Friday and 7 to 11 and on Saturdays. The rest of the time was spent playing and making your own entertainment. Ah, adulthood and no one to tell you what to eat and when to go to bed and what you could watch on TV. Yes, I can raise my hand to your worshiping at the same church you have described and all of the necessary rituals. The highest communion was, the box set weekend! I now watch the news in the morning to check the weather and the first 5 minutes to see what the world has gotten up to over the night. My satellite TV provider that I had a long relationship with still calls me and attempts to entice me back with offers. When they ask why I left and I say there is nothing worth watching and is just a waste of my time! There is no response on their canned selling sheet, for this reason, I can’t be persuaded back to them☺ The space that is created without TV is like being a kid again, life is all the entertainment we need.
Fabulous, fabulous article Cherise and one I can absolutely relate to. I’m on TV diet at the moment – at least a junk TV diet – and am experimenting with only watching video casts that advance me rather than dull me, such as Serge Benhayon’s and Natalie Benhayon’s productions, and other Universal Medicine gems. So far, so good – I feel so much more productive and aware.
I can so relate to what you share here and lived pretty much the same in my life TV was my best friend and more important than connecting with my family it was an escape not really wanting to be in life committing to life. Still it could not fill or stop the enormous underlying sadness I was so drained and felt heavy with not much motivation to move. Since a few years I stopped watching TV and do not miss it at all I really rarely chose to watch a movie but it is just not of interest to me anymore I prefer to spend my time differently and have more loving relationships and connections than ever before in my life. I do also love to be still and when it’s calm and enjoy some soulfull music here and there…it feels like a new life that started and that I feel motivated to deepen and continue.
Seeing TV as a religion is an interesting concept, but in many ways it is true I used to religiously turn the TV on as soon as I got home from work or as soon as I wanted some me time it was a part of my life that I did everyday, not realising how much I was using it to numb myself or check out from life. Now I don’t have time for TV, it no longer has the pull or attraction and I don’t miss it one bit, relationships and conversations are much richer and more meaningful without the distraction of TV
The hook to watch TV is very strong and appeals to our propensity to want to escape life and not deal with our issues and difficulties.
Most of us do not want to really feel what you have presented here Cherise, that checking out is our religion! Imagine if we were as dedicated to our connection, imagine what the world would be like!
I recall since teenage/young adult, that watching films at home on the tv, or cinema, used to make me really sleepy, and i’d end up snoozing to miss parts of the film…it seems ‘the big [or small] screen’ does something to exacerbate the drain of what’s already there — back then i used to feel so whacked from study, stresses of work, and what i was watching washed out/drained me further, and would usually top myself up with popcorn, chocolates, awake, to see the end of the film. And we call that [draining] enjoyable entertainment.
When reality TV shows started appearing, I remember thinking that they would never last, that surely people would see how fake they are. It speaks volumes about where we are at as a society that we seemingly can’t get enough of these shows where we are watching people’s lives on a pretty intimate level, enjoying the shocking, dramatic and often unpleasant revelations, knowing that it is all being heavily ‘manipulated’.
It’s almost 10 years since I have had a television in my flat and reality shows was one of the reasons I decided that it was time to stop. It is very telling that we don’t seem to be able to get enough of watching other people’s lives and the fights and arguments that play out, it is like we get pleasure in other people’s failings as we compare our lives with their manipulated reality lives.
‘I was living my life through the characters on the screen and used the drama and distraction to get me through the day’ – well said, Cherise. It’s no co-incidence that many of the long standing series like Eastenders, Home and Away, Neighbours are all aimed at doing exactly this, hence their popularity. They are about everyday people living through the dramas of everyday life, we watch and compare our lives with what we are seeing and come away feeling like our life isn’t so bad after all. But what are we comparing ourselves to? Nothing that comes even close to how we know we can live, if we want to be honest, none of these shows reflect the divinity that is within each and every one of us.
And what is interesting is how television networks are absolute masters at hooking people in so that the ritual of watching TV never wanes, that actually gets deeper and deeper.
My partner stopped watching television a few years prior to me (and before we had met), what he recalls as being stand out for him was the fact of how many hours of the day were chewed up in front of the screen. Leading us both to wonder how on earth we found so much time to watch TV, when without it, life feels so much more full of space and yet we are never finding ourselves sitting around ‘doing nothing’ or being bored.
This is so true! When I don’t watch television I rarely have things left undone. What I have had to learn, and am still learning, is how to not be in constant motion with lots of doing, but bringing a quality that feels rejuvenating to what I am doing. Then the things we do to fill our time become an irritation, not a necessity.
I can so relate to this way of life. A life where I filled myself with distraction and not love. A life that was about comfort and ticking off my days. A life that lived joyful moments through other people on screen. A life that created a constant search on the outside for love generated from all pictures I was fed. A self induced prison that kept me in a perpetual cycle void of true love. Come Universal Medicine, comes true religion. A way of life that brings me to every day, joy that comes from within, movements that come from impulse and true love that was there all along waiting to be lived in purpose.
While I didn’t really have an addiction to TV I had an addiction to numbing out from life by using food. This was a pattern I went into very young (about 2) and has been a gradual letting go. The more I love myself the less need there is to dull myself with food.
This is so honest. How many of us have been able to talk about a tv show but not the truth in how we are feeling? I remember being a child and in the summer holidays it was like I was glued to the tv and what I was watching wasn’t even good, it was completely mind numbing. I felt like going outside and playing but would sit in front of the tv instead. It did not make me feel good especially with my body.
I used to feel the same about TV, and remember as a child coming home and watching it for 3 or 4 hours straight and being annoyed when it was dinner time and the viewing was interrupted! I would be totally lost in it, using it to not feel anything at all and soothe myself after school. This blog makes me reflect on everything that I have used and still use to not feel- books and mental energy and getting lost in the doing and the busyness of life.. Starting to let go of these comfort blankets is hugely freeing and with it I feel a connection to something else that is always with me-and within me- a sense of space and more clarity.
I just read this and the kookaburras around me are going off!!! They loved it as well 😉 the joy of another human connecting to themselves, developing a relationship with themselves, and learning to take great care of themselves. Here here…and I loved this line – “instead a way of living where I am now living from my own heart’s centre and not through others”. Amazing.
Love this Cherise. A call to honesty for us all, as to what we are truly religious about and if what we are currently religious with actually supports us to grow, learn, evolve so that we can freely live more of who we are and with true fulfilment through our every day.
Thanks for sharing Cherise. For my adult life I’ve not been a fan of television or TV’s . I don’t even like the mere presence of a TV in a room – even when it is off! Your blog gave me a much deeper understanding into TV addiction and the person that lies behind the addiction and behaviour.
It’s interesting that we can be so’ religious’ with things that don’t really support us, and yet inconsistent with the things that do.
TV was once my religion too Cherise – late nights spent in front of the TV when I was tired and would then have difficulty sleeping due to being stimulated from the TV show…it was a vicious cycle. Now TV is not a feature in my life – there are too many other things with meaning and purpose that I spend my time with.
Reading this blog it occurs to me that we can make a religion out of avoiding the connection with ourselves and each other or we can make one out of building those connections.
Cherise, your comment – ‘I was living my life through the characters on the screen and used the drama and distraction to get me through the day’ – has reminded me also of a way of life I used to live, the time I spent in front of the TV and how the TV characters became real in my life and I would find myself thinking of them through the day. Yes, it was a religion – something I lived and breathed. Now that I have chosen to take responsibility for the way I live and for the choices I make there is never time to watch TV. Loving myself and self care, loving those around me and living and expressing in appreciation has meant that life is full and I am working towards living in my fullness
Love what you have shared here Cherise, I have never owned a tv but can see how people are so addicted to it and don’t know how to be with others, how to have conversations or what to do when there is no distraction from tv.
For me, I have always seen it as a conversation killer, a way so that people don’t engage together, but instead get sucked into the screen and they are influenced by what they watch and unfortunately, there is not a lot of inspiration or learning to be had from what is circulated on tv.
Once we begin to steadily ‘check in’ with ourselves, the temptation to ‘check out’ soon disappears. Until we make this our lived way, there is much to seduce us via the ‘world of images’ that is offered to us in order to keep us distracted from the real task at hand – to return in full to the love that we are.
It’s wonderful to read how your life has changed from being distracted by the ‘entertainment’ on TV to truly embracing the forever deepening relationship you now have with yourself and those around you.
And isn’t it just wonderful when we are able to do that and truly feel how amazing and beautiful it is to be truly connected to one’s self and others?
“It formed a ritual and a way of living that was religious to me.” It’s incredible when we understand that we can make anything religious and part of our ritual. I have often been critical of myself for not being consistent in the things that I know support me to living more lovingly of myself and others, believing for a long time that I was just inconsistent, when in actual fact I am VERY consistent with any number of things, many of which do not support the way of life I would like to nurture and evolve in my life, so all I need to do is change the focus of my consistency to different things.
I was once owned by T.V., and would use a broomstick to change the channels before remotes came in. Even though I stopped watching T.V a long time ago, the pattern of checking out, and not being focused is still something I need to address. Thank you Cherise this is an area of my life that I am now looking at extending my healing in because I can feel that I have only stopped the T.V. aspect and not the underlying cause of the addiction.
I would get so involved in what I was watching that I would feel the falls and big hits.
Great comment Greg, and how truly astounding is that, that we connect to an energy that dictates to us then how to feel by getting involved in the story and being affected by it.
And it just shows how insidious this energy is, doesn’t it?
Me too. Adrenaline would pump and rush through my body as if I were there acting it out. I would feel sad or cry when someone died or something like that. I would get engulfed in the story line wanting to know what was next especially in tv series. But then it came a time when I stopped amd asked what am I actually getting from this? What have I learnt from it? And then came the question what is the point of this? I can spend days on end hidden behind a screen amd miss out on soo much it feels like literally throwing time away which is crazy when there is so much to do and enjoy.
When we repeat something for a long time it can become a focal part of our life without us even noticing. TV and the internet are clearly such elements. I have heard many cases of individuals paying more attention to honouring how they felt, taking care of themselves and all round living a loving, and finding that their dependency on such items as TV naturally started to fade away. In fact it has been my own experience also. This alone shows that there is more to such habits than meets the eye.
It’s so true and common that you mentioned that you could hold a conversation about any TV show or any reality program or movie etc.. this could fill our whole lunch hour but when it comes to meaningful connection, conversation with understanding, conversation without emotion but with evolution we don’t seem to hold them as long if but avoid them!
Very true Harrison, I know someone where the entire conversation is around what movie or TV show was seen last and who the actor was and what was shown and the life of the actor as well, and I find myself not being able to listen to this at all, and so now our conversations are rather short and a true connection in conversation does not seem to be possible, yet a love is felt by us both.
I can relate totally and consumed is the word. We can so allow ourselves to be consumed by what is on the box. When I used to work in hospitals there was a TV on in most rooms all the time and it was very distracting. Having conversations with patients was made much more difficult with this on in the background, even if it was turned down. It reminded me of when I was a kid and mum or dad were trying to talk to me and I was completely hooked in, so much that I could’t even hear what they were saying. It certainly is a medication that I have chosen to use too.
I too, am reminded of how intimate I felt my relationship to film and tv was, that I tuned in and never tuned out when watching tv, but of course, this was largely a lie. I’d get sucked in to the drama and live vicariously through other characters.
I also resonated with this line, “I based my life around tv rather than true love” because I didn’t really know how to be with people! Any intimacy and desire to commit to life I had was reserved for the tv and not the people I actually lived with. Yet this was my normal, my religion, too.
Choosing to commit to my relationship with me, to develop that intimacy, has transformed my life and I now have little interest in watching tv at all. I am real life and the people I live and work with deserve all of me and not just the parts that I can squeeze them into inbetween programs.
A very pertinent article in the world we live in today. It brings to my awareness just what our children are faced with in their early years today as opposed to 20 odd years ago when TV was pretty much the only screen time most were exposed to. Now there is tv, computers, iPads, mobile phones and the many varied children screen toys. With so much technology, and less time outside, learning how to live in this world of ours, I ask the question, are we setting our children up to be unable to form a relationship with themselves, let alone with others?
I have spent much of my life without a TV. Throughout periods of time when there was a TV in the house where I happened to be living I noticed that I would get very depressed. Remove the TV and the depression would lift. I have always preferred spending time doing something more valuable, and this helps me to feel more fulfilled and more vital.
I have found life to be simpler, and more spacious without my TV which I took off the wall over a year ago. I am more engaged with my own life, with others and with myself. There are plenty of other distractions to be aware of as well. Social media, etc.
It is amazing how we can let things like tv rule our lives. I know for me episodes can hook me in wanting to know more but really what they achieve is me not living in the reality of where I am and who I am with. It is quite shocking to think how much time I have quite literally wasted away in front of the screen!
Me too James, and in many ways I am glad that when I was growing up the TV would only ever be switched on at night time so for me daytime watching TV was never an option, it was something ‘one just did not do’ …. So with that I used to end up watching TV quite late and therefore had no rested sleep etc etc – thankfully those days are long gone now.
‘Keeping it switched on to help me switch off’ – that’s just it isn’t it; Technology isn’t ‘evil’ or out to ruin our lives, but the way in which we USE it determines how it can affect us and keep us ‘off’, all the while we can miss out on such amazing relationships, interactions and moments.
I like the title of this article. We make such a big fuss about the world religions and yet it is simply the way how we live and relate. So instead of defining ourselves by religion as such it would be more acute to look at how do our religious ways contribute to our life and those of others. Is the way I am living truly loving and supportive for my self and everybody else or is it not?
Cherise, this feels like a resurrection! The quality of your life now and that which you described previously governed by TV and a disregarding lifestyle is inspirational. I’d love to see this blog spread far and wide. Thank you.
This is so relatable Cherise. I used to be addicted to TV too, watching movies till late at night and putting my children to bed early to watch a certain show. This now sounds so ridicules and loveless but at the time I didn’t feel or see that it was. Since embracing self-care, self-love and self-nurturing and also understanding what watch TV does to me, I naturally have no desire to watch any movies or TV shows to ‘check out’. If I feel like watching a movie then I know there is something I am not wanting to deal with in life and this would be one of the reason I would want to seek ways to numb myself.
No TV in the house is a huge blessing. My house took on a fresh clear feeling almost the instant I sent it packing one year ago. I also love the space that not having a TV creates in the lounge room that flows into all other aspects of my life too. Cherise thanks for writing this article which has allowed me to reflect on this whole of life habit that I have no longer.
This is gorgeous Cherise and really brings home how being religious is not anything to do with following a set of beliefs or rules but that it is about a way of life, a way we are in life.
The TV always held centre stage when growing up, and then later on when visiting my parents the TV was always on, so it felt like you could never have a proper conversation because the focus was still on the TV program, even if it was not of any interest to anyone – rarely did it go off. Then when my parents would visit me eventually they would want to watch a movie or their favourite show. It seems like the TV has replaced the connection we could have with each other and we are willingly living less with each other. In fact could I be so bold as to say we have a deeper relationship with the TV than we do with each other – I know that has been the case in my life until recently.
Oh dear, when I think about that it is a bit of a stop moment! Having worked for many years in TV I would have wanted it to be the centre of your world and encouraged your conversation to be about what you have watched, yet I can now see it is such a reduction of the relationship you could have had together.
Great read and very inspiring. It is true we can be religious about many things but to be living truly religious is a life worth living.
Cherise’s Blog offers us an exploration into what else we might be religiously ‘connected’ to that is anything but our true self …
To be so strongly connected to your television viewing and then make the complete turn around to valuing and nurturing yourself in such a beautiful way is inspirational Cherise! I tend to still find I slip back into some old habits for a time and then reawaken myself to living in the moment and self nurturing when inspired to do so again. I would like to say that I am free of all my old habits permanently but this is not yet so. I have never been a big TV addict but some programs I still enjoy at times. Thank you Cherise.
We live in a world now where we seek entertainment 24/7, if it is not on the TV then it is the internet or music. It is so easy to think that sitting down in front of the TV is offering us wind down time from a stressful day at work and that it is something we need, yet I have found the opposite, and that I actually enjoy my work more now than ever before. I no longer come home stressed and tired, and by going to bed at the time that suits my body instead of staying up late to see the end of a program I feel rejuvenated and vitalise ready to start my day.
Cherise, I was smiling to myself as I read your blog knowing it was written by a women, television was never really my religion in quite the same way it was for you, although I did get hooked in to watching certain soaps with my friends as at times if felt like as this was virtually all we talked about as we lived our lives through the screen. Catching up on our favourite TV shows in our lunch breaks and after school felt essential if you wanted to fit in. I remember at the time feeling that I’d really rather be doing something creative in the art block than sitting in front of a screen but did as everyone else did as I did not value myself enough and wanted to fit in.
What a beautiful deep understanding of the true values of life and claiming this by the way you have chosen to live. Swapping the television culture trappings exposed here for being with your own presence with whoever you are and the changes you have made is very inspiring and a real reflection of the escaping and disconnection of living in the unreal world of television and making it ones own life fitting into and identifying with it all as ones false reality.
Television and I separated ways around 10 years ago, it was at a time that was very stressful for me and I could feel how false and over sensationalist everything on the screen in front of me was. I decided to put my screen up in the attic and create a better space for my office. It’s been up there ever since.
Wow Cherise, what an inspiring and powerful blog you have delivered here with the awareness of being ‘religiously’ focussed on distractions in your life, As you clearly expose, TV is a killer of true intimacy.
Nails it doesn’t it – “… the awareness of being ‘religiously’ focussed on distractions.”
One of the surprising things about watching TV is that we use even less energy when watching TV than when we do absolutely nothing – I wonder how much we absorb in this super passive state.
Cherise, I can relate to what you are sharing here, ‘TV once dictated how I spent my time – how I spent my evenings with my family, how I planned my day and at what time of night I would eventually go to bed’, I grew up watching T.V a lot, every evening we would watch T.V all night until going to bed, and this seemed quite common amongst my peers and their families. I can feel how instead of time connecting that T.V can replace this. I now have chosen to not have a T.V and instead enjoy talking with my son when he comes home from school or with my partner when he comes home from work.
I am sure many people can relate to what you’ve shared here Cherise. And when broken down to such detail I wonder about my own false religions with things like gaming or daydreaming, because these have equally shaped the way I live that when I am in connection to my heart those ways are not there, and thats also something worth appreciating. The relationships we have, not just with people but everything, shapes how we live.
It is now ten years since my wife and i have had a TV and we have never missed it. If you had asked me fifteen years ago I could not of conceived that that was possible. However, I am so pleased we did make that choice as our life is so enriched from being free of its distraction.
The real question is what is it about the life we lead, that drains away our life force, makes us feel tired, and disinterested in ourselves to the extent we get most of our enjoyment from TV, fiction, film and anything outside of us. When we stop to explore this question, we begin a journey of self discovery and learning that is way more powerful and revealing than anything offered by TV.
What is it we really get from TV, I used to love to watch it and would get excited about programs I planned to view, yet the excitement was really about the comfort of checking out of life and hiding away. I can still feel I can do this sometimes on my laptop, but more and more I clock when I am hiding and choose to engage with people or even just my own company instead. There really is no substitute for conversation with people and quality time with oneself, it beats any TV show on offer.
I agree Stephen, who needs TV or movies when we can truly connect and have quality conversations with others.
I used to watch TV series’ as well and would really look out to the next episode but I can see now after reading your blog how it governed my life, and my happiness actually was at that time by these TV series’. It is actually totally giving my power away to something I can’t control, the stories never went like I wanted and if they left me at the end of a series with an open unsatisfying ending it would really disturb me. It is huge how we choose to let our sense of contentment be governed by a TV program! Instead why don’t we make our life the life we love it to be so we are not so much at the mercy of the TV shows and ultimately the world?
Thank you Cherise for all you have shared. I can relate because my life used to also revolve around TV shows, there was no real depth to my life, my relationships or with myself back then. When I look back at my years of watching TV my life was literally sucked into a nothingness, as I now can barely remember anything I watched. I know how rich my life is now (I am TV free) as I am dedicated to myself, to love and evolution, and after years of feeling addicted to TV shows I don’t miss any of it. The space it took up has been taken up with a true connection to myself.
Depth is the key. When there is a shallowness in the way we relate and live in our lives then the stimulation and emotional scenes on the tv seem to draw us in yet when we bring more depth to ourselves, our lives and our relationships then life feels 5th dimensional and Tv is 2dimensional – and becomes something so not interesting
Cherise I’m sure many, like myself, can relate to the behaviours you describe, when TV and other tools of distraction become addictive and the ease in which we get sucked in and make them the focus of our lives. Without true religion, centred on the relationship we have with ourselves and God, we feel empty inside and attempt to fill this void with countless distractions. It’s as if we can’t bear the silence and stillness of simply being with ourselves. Self love is the antidote to dependency on TV and other distractions, as is full participation in life and activities that are not simply about us, but community and ultimately humanity.
Cherise you have reminded me of how much TV also played a big part of my life. As I read your experience what I am appreciating is the enormous effect no longer having TV as part of my life has made. Not only do I have so much more space to focus on other things that have much more purpose, but I also not being affected by all the emotional traps that TV has.
I find that too Vicky, to amount of space that has opened up is awesome and the clarity within to match, who wants to swap that for what TV offers ….
Yes this is the same for me Vicky. This quote here highlights the emotional traps and hooks Tv can have. ‘TV once dictated how I spent my time – how I spent my evenings with my family, how I planned my day and at what time of night I would eventually go to bed. I based my life around TV rather than true love. ‘
As our family has made life more about connecting and love – the material that is on tv is so boring and flat. It’s not something that I even want to do at all.
I feel the same Vicky. There’s enormous space available when TV is switched off. It is often said there are not enough hours in the day. This is a lie. Switch off TV and space opens up before us. We have all the time we need.
I can so relate Cherise – but it was Radio 4 in the UK, not TV, that was my religion. I can still feel drawn to listening – yet am aware I am choosing it for distraction. I love how you share “It is now great to be choosing a religious way of life that is not about entertainment value but the true value I feel from appreciating how sensitive and acutely aware I am in my day .”
I was stopped by a journalist in the city centre last week who was interviewing people about their favourite tv programme for a piece he was writing. He was quite shocked when I told him I didn’t watch TV as everyone he had spoken to earlier did and could share about what they watched. ‘Surely there must be something you watch?’ he asked. I felt no sense of missing out during the conversation but an appreciation of how full and enriched my life is without TV.
After I cancelled my satellite TV contract, I continually get calls to come back and always ask if there were any shows I missed, that had watched in the past? They don’t know how to respond when I say NO, it typically ends in sales pitch. I could have my name removed from their call list, but then I would miss opportunities to plant seeds!
The shows that are on TV seem very real, and I can relate to what you say about how they are your friends and part of your life. Truth be known though, they are snippets of pretend situations put together to look like an insight into someone’s life, when actually they are not. There is a director, a makeup artist, a wardrobe designer, and so on, all planning what to show to make the story look real, and to provide a picture that is appealing to our desire for distraction and escape. It is without doubt alluring, but in fact never fills what is truly desired which is connection within ourselves.
agree Heather we have this pretend relationship with pretend characters that do not exist in real life and we befriend them like they are real people.
This is so true and tragic at the same time. Often you read that people fully believe that the actor is the character they play and some get abused verbally by the public depending on their character. The fact that people get so involved with the character and do not realise that all the situations are made up shows and the hold these shows have on people, and the depths to which they have withdrawn from real life.
Cherise, a big thank you for sharing what was also my religion and my escape, I found TV and movies to be what go me through life (or so I thought) growing up and being able to escape all that I did not like. I would loose myself as much as I could, I was also deeply religious with TV. Today TV is no longer a part of my life, it just serves no purpose for me and I actually get more tired and drained when I “relax” with TV than not – that really helped me let go of my religious TV relationship. Today with life so full it amazes me how I had time for TV, but I guess I had far less enriching conversations.
Cherise I had never thought of TV being a religion, but actually it used to dominate my life in the same way. I would plan everything around being able to watch my favourite dramas and soaps on the TV. I find it bizarre looking back at it now, but of course it was and is absolutely normal. I no longer watch TV, and our separation started when I introduced a no TV day in the family some 15 years ago. I find that I have more time to dedicate to myself, family, friends and other projects I am involved in. I certainly don’t miss it.
“keeping it switched on to help me switch off” This is a very revealing description of the distraction and faithful commitment to a flickering screen. TV and hand-held devices mean that this method of switching off connection to self is always at hand and can be an all-consuming religion.
Yes and people do say that and I used to say that too – need something to switch off for a while. These days when I feel that I have not been with me it feels just awful, so to religiously work on staying connected is something that is very important now.
Cherise, your blog reminded me of a time in the past when I was religious about a particular soap opera in which the storyline moved seamlessly from one drama to another, usually more tragic one. What a great relief it was to continually escape my own problems and into these pretend ones. A bit of harmless entertainment? I think not, for each time I switched the tv on I just buried my issues only to return to them soon after I switched the TV off. In the end it was easy to let go the soap and tv in general. How flat and unentertaining it now seems compared with a life lived with a deep commitment to my own self care and my relationship with everyone I meet.
“I began to live religiously with love and with me” – from the TV to oneself, what a great way to see and experience religion Cherise, the connection we have being what it is that we are in religion with.
“… the connection we have being what it is that we are in religion with.” – This is such a great sentence and offers an awesome reflection to explore just that.
Hi John O Connell here from Ireland Thank you for sharing Cherise. When I was growing up TV was used as a reward by my parent for doing what I was told and what they wanted . And in my growing up I used Tv as a reward for myself so I could get away from the world . But I have changed my world and as much as possible now my reward is me living in my life and sharing with others.
Cherise, I can really relate to what you share. TV was my down time, my switch off time and I would religiously watch it every day and get my “fix”! I would say I was a TV addict, but as constant TV watching is the norm for most of us I never considered it as such until I tried to give it up. Yes, I went through withdrawal symptoms and would pop a program in every now and then, but what I could really feel was the covering up and the numbing of feeling an emptiness inside that I was seeking to fill. Once this was realised not watching TV became easy.
I wonder what percentage of the world’s population have television as their religion without knowing or acknowledging the fact. Many people live life as you describe, with it revolving around the TV. It is probably the biggest time wasting invention man has ever made and I would probably be quite shocked if I knew how many hours of my life I have wasted staring at the box.
Yes, it would be an interesting exercise to register how much time we waste in front of one device or another.
Perhaps now that technology has shifted lanes, some of us (like me) might be feeling that we have changed our ways, that we have overcome or worked through the hold that TV had on our lives. But isn’t the uncomfortable reality of this show, that we have just switched channels and we know, now we have 24/7 internet to ‘connect’ but in fact we use it in the same way to escape from life, from our day to day. Just what is it that has made us want to check out for so long? Why wouldn’t we want to cherish Cherise, enjoy and celebrate every step we take? To me, this is the question and program we should tune in to.
Yeah, Joseph I was thinking the same – I haven’t had a TV in 10 years but I do have an iPhone. Depending on how and why I use it, it’s the same thing.
We’ve have indeed switched channels Joseph. As you say 24/7 internet and thousands of other on-line channels at our finger tips. It is important to be honest with ourselves. as we know distraction comes in many forms. A community centre reception prominently displays many months back copies of a London weekly newspaper magazine. Each front cover featured a well known celebrity. I resisted the temptation to pick one up, and chose instead to sit with myself rather than switch off. One GP surgery waiting room displays copies of high end glamour, fashion, beauty and gardening magazines. Of course, we don’t have to read them but curious that a health clinic chooses to offer patients these magazines and not ones related to health and well-being. And when we pick up a magazine to read without awareness we are switching channels: from an inner focus, to outer.
Well said Joseph – moving from switching on to switch off to connecting to disconnect – it’s all the same thing.
Certainly Joseph I can feel how the internet has replaced TV as a form of escapism, making it important to stop and reflect on what I am using a laptop for. It always feels better when I stick to purposeful task, rather than the flat and empty feeling I have when I stray into entertainment for long periods of time.
It is interesting that what you have shared here Cherise is no different to any other addictions we may have. The attributes are the same and either way they stop us feeling what is truly going on for us. The effects of TV watching seem mild and for many a “bit of escapism” or “harmless fun” for the day, yet either way we are not stopping to feel how these distractions are impacting on other elements of our life – food we eat, conversations we have and the quality of relationships we build with each other
I like the way you use the word religious. It feels like it’s helping to break the old way of how we refer to that word.
Yes it supported me too while reading that blog and I now have a new way of talking about religion and religious as well 🙂
TV is a convenient filler and stand-in for what we don’t give ourselves; when I lived in Japan, where I could not understand the language and the only contact I had with others was at work, I would turn the TV on the moment I came home and keep it running until I went to bed, a behaviour I had always judged as disturbing when I observed it in others. But there I was, well aware that I was trying to fill a gap, an emptiness in me – TV never truly delivered, of course. But the sounds, voices and images fed me the illusion that I was part of life after work and that I had a value outside my office role. I wonder to what degree it stopped me from making true connections, even if being told that it was not part of the prevailing culture I had placed myself in.
Great blog Cherise, How many people world wide have TV as their Religion? I remember going home from school and could not wait to watch Home and Away and neighbours, It was my ritual to sit there with sweets I had brought from the shop 2 or 3 sugary cups of tea and just switch off. I can see now how harming that was, especially for a young girl growing into adulthood.
I only recently gave up on watching TV. It was a natural thing. Previously I used to watch it for 1/2 an hour an night, usually something educational. But I could not put my finger on what was making me tired getting up in the morning. So, I removed the TV from my life. That was 3 months ago, and the result was almost instantaneous. I started getting up earlier – naturally so. The point is, I don’t think we realise how draining it actually is to watch TV, and how it interferes with our sleep. It certainly took me a long time to even put it to the test, such was that addictive lure of that little blue light in the corner of the living room.
Very true Adam, I found that too when I don’t watch the screen I wake up much earlier feeling rested and ready for the day. So to feel how we get drained by it just shows the insidious power it has over humanity. Am so glad I stopped watching it and just now for the occasional movie on the PC and am onto it that that will be let go of too as it is not worth it when I feel myself the way I do when I am clear of this energy.
Amazing Adam to be able to actually identify the effects of something that seems so innocent and harmless, even in the guise of something ‘educational’. This does not mean that we have to disengage from educating ourselves with this medium, but we certainly need to revisit the quality that we produce these programmes in and how/when we watch them. My experience of our current version of TV is that there is a great drive behind what is screened that is designed to elicit an emotional response from the viewer and this is what I have found to be the most draining aspect of all. When we choose to present information, facts and even fiction from a point of true observation, then what is produced will not drain us of our life force but actually enrich our health and vitality.
Hello Cherise, I love what you write about your past relationship with TV and it made me ponder on the fact that many people still have this relationship with TV as you had in the past. People are completely taken by what is being presented on the many TV channels that are available to us, actually all to help people to check out from real life and in a to way keep them trapped in an illusionary life that holds no relation with the reality that lives in us and all, the vibrancy and love that live in our inner hearts.
This is so true Nico, what you have written reminded me of my deceased mother who would talk about the characters and celebrities as if she knew them. We were having a conversation about a celebrity and she was saying how she did not like this person because they had done this and that, and I said to her playfully that I did not realise that she moved in those celebrity circles, as she knew so much about this persons life. She saw my point and started to laugh. The trouble with this is people, like my mother get very involved in the things they see on the TV and fail to remember that things are edited, and created to look a certain way, and believe what they see as being the truth.
Amazing story Cherise! I can connect to all that you have said here, and am not fully delivered from the grip of TV myself as i occasionally watch something between 7.30 and 8.30 at night, usually when I have been up at 4am and worked all day until 7.30! After that I don’t feel like working any more. I know if I lived with someone this is when I would sit and talk, together with them . . . and I soon will be living with someone, but at the moment while alone, that is the way I ‘occupy’ that hour. Haven’t fully cracked the habit, even though I am largely free of it in some respects. I have yet to find that crunch factor!
I find that Lyndy, living alone makes me more likely to want to turn on the telly for company, and so it shows me I still have some appreciation to feel of my own company, and how that is actually a very lovely thing to be in.
I love how you expressed this Stephen – ‘appreciation to feel my own company’ – yes, isn’t it lovely when we step into that rather than being blown out by something that does the total opposite.
So honest Lyndy and as always so eloquently delivered with truth.