I’ve always cringed when someone asked me, ‘Are you happy?’ I would most likely reply with a smile ‘Yes! I’m happy!’… in-part trying to believe it myself, but also to portray the ‘image’ of someone who ‘had it going on’.
I often wondered why I cringed. Was it because I felt the expectation on me that I should be happy? Yes – definitely. But there was more. There was something about this ‘happy’ that didn’t sit well with me. It was as though I, and many others, placed so much emphasis on attaining happiness that it became our sole purpose in life… so we went about looking for it outside of ourselves in whatever way we thought we could get it.
Happiness felt elusive, unattainable – something just out of arm’s reach.
I felt that I was failing at life if I wasn’t ‘happy’. I chased it – and sometimes I felt it – but I could never hang onto it. It would be there for a moment, sometimes for consecutive moments, sometimes for intermittent moments that spread out over a week or two. But it was neither solid nor constant and when it was time to be on my own, I felt flat, bored, empty – anything but happy.
So how and where could I get this ‘happy’ that everyone was talking about? How could I make it permanent?
I had many ideas of where to find this happiness: a career, lots of friends, frequenting the latest bars, cafes and restaurants, being fit, healthy and active, having the latest clothes, being immaculately put together, having the perfect partner, being the perfect daughter, sister, friend, mother, owning a beautiful home… the list goes on. Yet even when I had all of that going on, happiness was not a constant in my life.
In truth, underneath it all, I felt desperately empty. I often wondered what was wrong with me and what I needed to do to fix myself.
About 4 or 5 years ago, a friend of mine I was seeing for support with women’s health mentioned she had started offering Esoteric Healing sessions. She asked if I would be open to having a session with her. I had heard of Esoteric Healing before and had previously had a couple of sessions with another practitioner. I knew immediately that it felt right for me. What I felt in my first session with her was exactly the same as what I had experienced with the other practitioner some years earlier. There were no bells or whistles, just a gentle loveliness… something full and real. My body rested deeply, it was like I had fallen asleep, but I was still very much there.
I liked what was being presented to me so I continued to have sessions. Each session offered me an opportunity to look at how I was living and how I was supporting myself. I was able to feel more of myself and also able to feel the ideals and beliefs I had taken on that weren’t really true to me – i.e. what success looked like (you can bet happiness was part of that picture!), what it was to be a good mother (think the self-sacrificial type that puts her child’s needs above her own), what it was to be a woman… again the list goes on.
With the support of the esoteric modalities over the years I’ve made gradual changes to the way I live and, most importantly, to how I am with myself. I treat myself with respect and care. I listen to my body and its signals. I take time to connect with myself each day. I’m open to what I feel (the good, the bad, the ugly). I love being with me.
I walk down the street feeling the gorgeousness of myself and I live knowing who I am and I aim to stay connected to that at all times. I feel full. I rarely feel that empty feeling that used to plague me – and, if I do, I know that it is because I have disconnected and all I need to do is be honest about where I’m at and reconnect.
So, there I was, feeling pretty awesome and someone asked me ‘Are you happy?’ Lo & behold – I cringed!
The immediate response was, ‘No’… and then, I reacted inside myself.
‘What? Am I still not happy? Of course I am. I feel amazing! How can I not be happy after all of this time! All of these changes! I don’t feel empty… surely I must be happy?!!’ .
And then it occurred to me.
Is happiness really it? Is it possible that we are asking the wrong question?
I knew that the solidness I felt in me was real. I knew that I didn’t feel like I was lacking anything or needing to fill myself. I knew that what I felt in me was something far grander than anything I had tried to attain outside of myself.
What I was able to then feel was that ‘happiness’ is as I had always felt it to be – it is but a fleeting moment. It comes and goes; it is something that we can’t hang on to. Like any other emotion, it is not solid. It is often attached to an event or a hype of some kind.
It feels good in the moment and then it subsides after the fact.
But JOY on the other hand – this I feel.
Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.
It is there when I am sleeping and it is there when I wake. It is solid and it is constant. It feels confirming of who I am – and I don’t need to do anything except connect to me and be with me to feel it. It is so much more robust than happiness. It fills my body with warmth and when I am connected to it I feel play-full – like I want to express all of me to the world.
Yes indeed, joy feels to me to be where it’s at!
So then – am I happy? No – not always.
But am I joyful? Very much so.
With deep appreciation to Sara Harris, Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting a way of life that is so simple – yet so grand.
By Brooke Taylor, RTO Academy General Manager, Elwood, Australia
Further Reading:
The Difference Between Happiness and Joy
Sacred Esoteric Healing As A Way Of Life
Hello, is it me I’m looking for…?
Happiness means many things to many people we all have our own versions of it. Whereas for me Joy comes from a one unified truth it is an expansion of space that can be felt by everyone and the sense of being held in that space is so yummy it fills our hearts with joy which is not a heightened experience but a feeling of completeness.
This is the illusion we all fall for
‘So how and where could I get this ‘happy’ that everyone was talking about? How could I make it permanent?’
Happiness is like a carrot at the end of the stick we chase the carrot without the understanding that while we are concentrating on it we have left ourselves. And that’s the whole point to get us to be so distracted we forget that everything we have ever wanted is within us.
Aligning to our Soul, Inner-most-heart / Essence brings a Joy-full-ness that is deeply Stilling and eventually brings an understanding of what True appreciation brings to our life because we have focused on our evolution Joy becomes normal and is nothing like being happy.
When there is joy, there’s no need to demonstrate it with a smile, as although it obviously can be expressed physically, it’s much more than that. It’s not what we do, but how we live what allows us to feel its deep settlement and lightness in our life.
Yes what an awesome blog. Happiness is aways a pursuit whist joy – well, joy just is.
” I love being with me.” The joy you feel in being with you inspires others to reconnect to who they are and feel the joy.
Joy lies within always – it doesn’t go away and when I meet another it can take me by surprise as the joy is expanded out into the universe.
How we live and how we move has a big impact on how we are, ‘With the support of the esoteric modalities over the years I’ve made gradual changes to the way I live and, most importantly, to how I am with myself. I treat myself with respect and care. I listen to my body and its signals. I take time to connect with myself each day. I’m open to what I feel (the good, the bad, the ugly). I love being with me.’
Happiness is transitory with highs followed by lows, whereas joy does not fluctuate but is a steady flow of celebrating and feeling who you are on the inside, which is there to be shared with others.
Absolutely Mary, Joy abounds and is deeply stilling in that it becomes our normal way of existence, so much so that we then also understand how appreciation truly works.
It is always important to feel and nominate what we are feeling, we then with this awareness have the choice to change this by how we are living.
Happiness is an ideal. Joy is the real deal that comes with living in connection with our Soul and as such cannot be sold, strived for or attained; it can only be lived. Thus the chase for happiness is a game we set up that keeps us in a forever seeking quest that serves to delay that which truly evolves us.
Absoulutely Liane, Joy brings a forever-deepening appreciation of our Soul-full-ness, which is to truly understand Appreciate-ive-ness.
If you were to ask a few people what happiness meant to them they would all probably give you a different answer. In fact, they would probably give you a different answer each day depending on what they were hoping for that day. This definitely used to be me, that was until I came to understand true joy, something felt in and through every particle of my body, a constant which is dependent only on me and never from anything outside of me or from anyone else.
I would say we fool ourselves, and have ourselves falling into disappointment regularly when we seek to be happy, or wait for the next thing to bring us happiness. Being settled in ourselves and connecting with our inner heart, who we are in essence, brings joy and a foundation that cannot be rocked….happiness is seeking moment, joy is a steady pulse of knowing who you are and your purpose in life.
Seeking happiness feels like seeking something transient, whereas when we live in joy we do not have to seek outside ourselves, its like it is part of us, within us. Happiness ‘ feels good in the moment and then it subsides after the fact.
But JOY on the other hand – this I feel.
Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.’
Precision can be very wisely used, if imperfection is accepted and lived with, it is precision that can come alive.
The magazines and other media are still selling happiness as the solution for all our woes but it is an endless chase and we will never be satisfied, we will have ups and downs and just like you did, wonder what went wrong. How clever to let everyone seek on the outside so the true answer on the inside is harder to find.
I also cringed about the happiness thing, but more so when someone told me to ‘smile!’ as if I should be walking around with a grin plastered to my face. True joy is a deep settlement and feeling the depth of who we are. The version of happiness and excitement that most of us have bought into or try to seek in life feels superficial and transient relative to living and connecting to the depth of who we are as multi-dimensional beings with access to heavenly wisdom.
Happy is like accepting the turd we call society and painting it bright colours so it’s something that we like. No matter the hue nothing changes the disgusting stench underneath.
Happiness feels unreachable whereas joy is within us, steady and there to be shared with everyone. Such a gift!
I can relate with you Brooke how this belief conditioned me in how I was feeling really from a very young age. Behind the question ‘Are you happy?’ I could feel like there was an expectation that said ‘say yes please’ so I became obedient to that and learnt to hide my truth. In our society it seems like we have to be happy and fine all the time or that feeling sad is a sign of weakness, which may arise discomfort in others. However, when I allow myself to feel sadness or whatever I may be feeling I can see the strenght in honouring me and the love that comes from this choice. Thanks to receiving Esoteric Healing sessions I could re-define my relationship with myself and my body which no longer responds to expectations or pictures about how things should or shouldn’t be. How I really am? Allowing myself the space to respond honestly to this question feels very freeing and truly joyful everytime.
The way you have described happiness here really shows its lack of depth and sustainability, it shows itself as a word that is to be attained but not necessarily a state of being that has true joy at its heart. And this is wonderful to read because I reckon that the more honest we are about words and how they really feel, the more carefully we can choose them.
With so many struggling with their mental health currently it is as if we are made to feel a failure if we are not happy yet it is a fleeting feeling that can then leave us lower than before whereas joy is deep within us just waiting to be expressed.
I used to find happiness rather elusive, a bit like trying to grab quick silver, just when you are sure you’ve got it, it’s off in another direction. It is as you say “neither solid nor constant”, but always shifting and changing shape as it is dependent on someone or something outside of us. In contrast joy is something that bubbles up from within me, I don’t have to try to be joyful and I don’t have to worry about someone else taking it away from me as it’s always mine to connect with.
Joy: ‘It is so much more robust than happiness. It fills my body with warmth and when I am connected to it I feel play-full – like I want to express all of me to the world.’ Something can only feel solid in our body when it comes from inside and it can’t be contained inside it has to be shared with all no matter what others expect of us.
Just looking at the photo with this article reminds me how when we connect and express from our inner hearts, our joy from within just shines and emanates from our cheeks and face.
Yes, Jenny it is just bubbling out of us as this photo is showing, we can only try to hold back the joy from inside; it doesn’t always become a great laugh but it will absolutely be felt through the sparkle in our eyes.
Beautiful Jenny, our face expresses the truth of how we are feeling in such a precise way. We can’t hide anything but the joy and yumminess of knowing how amazing we are is very inspiring to see.
It is amazing what words we use… And how these words are so revealing… Take one of my favourites… Bliss… 🙂
“Are you happy?” The question arises “With what?” Happiness is much less than joy.
Happiness is often an elation from a more mundane moment, yet joy can be experienced in the mundane, in the ordinary parts of life. I was listening to a presentation the other day about how settled we feel, now this was interesting- do we feel content with ourselves or are we constantly seeking stimulation and distraction. This gave me a lot to reflect on.
Happiness feels temporary, transient and small compared to joy. Joy on the other hand feels expansive, steady, consistent and deep. I agree that joy isn’t loud and brash in its expression: there is a quiet gentleness, and a stillness, to joy.
I must admit I don’t wake up in the morning feeling completely joy-full but when I reflect on how my life was ten years ago, I was mostly miserable and I’m certainly not that now. I do feel sad from time to time and I feel a little low on occasions, but a lot of the time I feel a calm stillness that feels good inside. I am being more of me, no longer playing any roles, and that feels so much more natural than how I was before.
Happiness is something like a drug that has to be peddled by the local dealer who is just getting us into a nothing state. So like a drug you “chased it – and sometimes I felt it – but I could never hang onto it. Happi-ness seems to be the opposite to joy, which comes from our Livingness and can always be held onto with no rollercoaster ride.
It’s a beautiful description of the difference between happiness and joy, and how we chase pictures of what happiness is, but when we get there it turns out to be temporary if not completely elusive. All along we have joy within ourselves and it’s just waiting for us to reconnect to it. I liked the bit about joy being there even as we sleep, it’s part of our soul and needs no outer events to produce it.
Once the feeling of joy is experienced we realise that to attain happiness requires such an effort to firstly achieve and then to maintain, in contrast to joy that effortlessly emanates from the loving connection felt from within or with others, the universe and God. The beautiful thing is that we naturally feel joy whenever we are connected to ourselves, and the potential of that is offered in every moment.
“I live knowing who I am and I aim to stay connected to that at all times.” If you’re not connected and living from your innermost truth you will find yourself looking outside of your self and when that is the case “all I need to do is be honest about where I’m at and reconnect.”
Yes, no mention of happiness is needed.
It makes sense that we seek happiness, because in happiness we can still have sadness. Sadness unhealed buried inside that is. Sadness and happiness are the same energy. Joy on the other hand has not an ounce of sadness in it. Hence if we have not dealt with or are not willing to deal with our sadness we cannot feel true joy.
Great observation Joshua. As soon as we recognise sadness to be a reaction to a feeling, a state that is offered to us and we take on, the sooner we can step back and see things for how they truly are; we understand the outplay and no longer feel a victim but empower ourselves to deal with life situations
Fantastic observation, yes the seemingly opposing ends of reaction that do not serve us, which are essentially the same issue, we seek something outside of ourselves and nod not connect within, when we fall into emotions and the drama of life, whether it appears happy or sad. And from my experience, we search for the happiness, but it appears elusive, like it can only last a second, a firework, rather than a steady fire…Also this idea that we deserve to be happy….completely knocks us sideways, because life comes with challenges, and we are here to learn from life, and when we try and seek happiness, we avoid the raw, realness of life and prevent truly healing what is getting in the way of our potential.
Often we can go from one moment to the next seeking the next ‘happy’ point and often these events are when something different to our every day experiences happens, like going on a holiday, going out for dinner etc. I find that in my life now, there is much joy in the every day things I do.
Yes I too am finding more and more joy in the everyday things that I do rather than waiting for something outside of me to make me feel happy for a bit.
“So, there I was, feeling pretty awesome and someone asked me ‘Are you happy?’ Lo & behold – I cringed!” I so know this feeling. When people ask me if I am happy it is like I have to prove I am happy, like they don’t feel the amazingness I feel in my body and I have to show it. This comes from the way we see life collectively as a society where happiness is something that is expressed enthusiastically and loudly which is so different from joy that can be expressed in so many ways, but never is there that drive or push, so we often don’t understand someone really gentle and quiet can be very joyful.
I have experienced this too and agree with you Lieke – happy is like having to prove something to others.
Attending a public event about a year ago and quietly appreciating the inner warmth being felt from being deeply re-connected to the innermost stillness and filled with joy from feeling a connection with other people in the room (without a word being spoken). Out of the blue an inebriated stranger staggered up to me and blurted out ‘are you happy?’
I was amazed to feel the effect of the word in a very different way from the extreme highs (distractions and external excitement) and lows (cold, hollow emptiness) that ‘happy’ used to mean to me. My whole body felt contracted as if recoiling from a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over me. My body showed me very clearly – an instant knowing and awareness of the energetic effect of words upon our system.
It is like the whole of humanity has been sold something that at its core is simply not true and yet it has been promulgated for so long that it has become a part of our lives. Humanity needs to understand the redefinition that is there being offered.
I just read the meaning of joy and the the recordings made by Serge, it becomes obvious that we have been sold a lie, searching for something that is just an emotion, here today gone tomorrow. When joy is something that is innately divine living within everyone of us, a confirmation that developed our trust and does away with self doubt.
There is no elation felt when we reconnect with our true self, for how can there be when we have simply returned to that which we already are? However, there is an aching misery and discontentment that comes with living in separation to this, as there are also wondrous moments of quiet and settlement when we begin to feel again the truth of who we are.
We tend to walk about like robots saying we are ‘happy’ and ‘good’. We parrot off these words but our bodies seem to be devoid of true warmth and consistent pleasure. I feel what you have presented here Brooke is key not just for the pursuit of happiness but for how we settle in all of life for ‘just enough’ when we are designed to live so much more. It’s ok to admit when things aren’t right, as it opens up the door for us to go so much deeper and clear the stuff that bogs us down and makes us behave in crazy ways.
Happiness is always dependent on outside factors – be it a promotion, new car, latest clothes, a piece of jewellery, etc. etc. Joy on the other hand comes from within and brings us together, it doesn’t individualise.
“Happiness felt elusive, unattainable” This really resonated with me and I felt guilty that I could not feel happy as, on the face of it, I had everything in life that should have made me happy. Presentations by Serge Benhayon with Universal Medicine offered me the understanding of the difference between happiness and joy and now I don’t seek anything to bring me happiness as I have reconnected to the joy of sharing the love that I am with others.
it’s like there is an enormous marketing machine behind the very idea of happiness… Designed to keep mankind in a perpetual state of angst and unrequited desire.
The illusion of happiness today has us so preoccupied with the outside world around us and focusing on whether the boxes of our societal expectations are being ticked or not that we do not connect to the joy within and allow that joy to simply be expressed in appreciation of who we are (imperfections included) so we can then further expand our potential.
We waste so much effort chasing the illusion of happiness and feel a failure after a fleeting feeling of it dissipates when all along we can connect to the joy within that sustains us when we choose it.
Thank you Brooke for so lovingly exposing the myth of happiness, I don’t know about Australia but here in England this song “because Im happy’ gets played loads. Every time I hear it I cringe it feels like a real bad bad fake of the real thing all about convincing others that you are happy – putting on a show. Why settle for less when the real thing (joy) is our birth right?
Over the years being inspired by the presentations of Universal Medicine I have discovered that happiness comes only from a doing, a doing that needed continual doing, whereas joy is an emanation from a state of being of who we already are. In seeking happiness, I was constantly striving to achieve, to seek recognition from the world which never did truly fullfill or feel confirming, as underneath it all I felt uneasy and anxious, knowing that this was not really it and always fleeting. When I began to focus on developing a relationship with myself, with the love within me, I discovered a far greater and enriching quality that naturally emanates from within, from my connection to who I already am – the joy of love. A quality that confirms who I am and is ever-present within us all, and it is joy that represents the fullness of who we already are in essence.
Yes indeed what a thing to ask … if people only knew what the energetic content of happiness actually is.
I cringe when I am told to put on a ‘happy face’ (which working full time in hospitality is every day!) the ‘happy face’ often attempts to hide a lot of misery which is always under the surface and noticeable the moment the mask comes off. For me I don’t feel like constantly smiling but that doesn’t mean I am sad or depressed. But rather than reacting to ‘do I fit in the happy box’ I can have, focus on and feel the joy within me. Is this feeling my whole body smiles.
I love the photo connected with this blog as the women in it is exuding pure joy and it immediately connects me with my joy when I look at her. The emanation of joy is very beautiful and much needed in the world.
The difference between being happy and being joyful is huge. Happiness is just a fleeting emotion whereas joy is a steady state of being that gets more and more activated as we connect with those around us.
Happiness is something we experience in moments in response to an outer stimulus. Joy is something that bubbles up from within and that can make us feel as if we want to burst. There is a vast difference.
When I was asked whether I was happy, my usual answer was ‘No’ – but that was probably just as useful as saying ‘yes’, i.e. not very and may have interrupted further conversation than a ‘yes’ would have.
Happiness is a picture and an ideal of a perfect life that people try to obtain. But it’s impossible, life isn’t perfect, we are not perfect. We can have immense joy by connecting to who we are and expressing that – so the Joy factor comes from within while happiness weighs heavily on what is happening on the outside and our circumstances.
Yes, for happiness we have unhappiness but for joy we don’t have unjoy.
Happiness is very overrated and is used to not truly show that what is truly going on in our lives. While Joy is a quality that is long lasting and is coming from living in connection to that which we all have deep inside, our essence.
“It is there when I am sleeping and it is there when I wake. It is solid and it is constant. It feels confirming of who I am” – The joy of feeling who we truly are is priceless, no wonder there has been such an age old effort to try to subvert us from feeling this. When we are with ourselves we are slave to no one.
Happiness comes from something outside of us, an emotion that comes and goes depending on the circumstances of the ups and downs of life, but joy is who we innately are and it is always there along with love truth and stillness, this we can connect to anytime, it is only a choice away.
There is so much to be said for how it feels to have an esoteric healing session, I like you Brooke have felt deeply rested yet also very solidly grounded in my body, my senses feel heightened and I am less drawn to emotional responses that would take me out of balance. There is nothing quite like an esoteric healing session to support wellbeing and a healthy body.
Beautiful to read this this morning as I realise how much deeper I can go in expressing the truth and wisdom that I hold in my body. I can still be off the mark because i do not allow an absolute honouring of myself. This honouring has to be total otherwise there is a space for doubt or for other energy to creep in.
I guess happiness as a lot of other things are there because we have lost our natural way. But we are trying to patch it up somehow and being happy for a moment or two is our way of seeking a remedy.
If you are the one who is honest enough, to say ‘hey you know I don’t feel great’ you can quickly become a social pariah – you after all ‘are a real downer’ – can’t you cheer up? But what your words remind me Brooke, is that these feeling we have are the potential keys to greater learning and expansion. And as you show it is actually possible to hold these difficulties as real alongside the fact that we are amazing. In fact it’s not only possible but essential we move forward this way, otherwise we get overwhelmed with all the ‘issues’ we see.
Brooke I want to meet you! You are lovely, and your joy is infectious!
Joy is an absolute delight one that is with-in, as you share a constant and relies on nothing external, as it is part of our essence. Understanding and appreciating our true source and connection to joy allows a blossoming of more.
Great blog Brooke; the feeling of joy is indeed steady, confirming and harmonious. Our responsibility is to feel the joy and emanate it in true brotherhood with others.
“Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.” So true – and you’re right – the question ‘Are you happy’ may not be the right question. Happiness comes and goes – joy lives within us.
Happiness is something we have to obtain and joy is a quality we can feel from within, which can be connected to at any time.
Super lovely to confirm true joy lives inside of us – always. It doesn’t take an event, activity or another for it to ignite. It simple requires us to connect and appreciate the qualities of who we are as we are, and what comes from that confirms us in our loveliness, deliciousness and joy-fullness. When we share this then the joy flows on and who knows what potential it has, we are very powerful in our ability to reflect what many people would love to feel – that with-in they too are all the joy they may otherwise be looking for in happiness.
This blog has made me ponder on the phrase ‘cheer up.’ It has been said to me many times and frequently irks. Its interesting that others are often not comfortable when we are not putting on that brave smile and they will go to great lengths to cheer you up rather than allow you to be exactly where you are at. The other observation is I have covered up not being happy to avoid people asking me what’s the matter. It would seem not many of us are at ease with being seen in any other state than ‘happy.’
Happiness in fact is quite empty as when you would have asked me in moments in my life, when I said to be happy, to honestly share how I truly felt, I would have told you that I felt not that pleasant in my body, empty in a way, void of that vibrancy I now know being joy-full is.
I have to say I have always struggled with happy as well, it is that thing that at times we can be very happy but you are right it is not sustainable. I do remember happy times in my life that if I look at more closely were total illusion, the drinking, partying, just stuff to hide the fact that I wasn’t joyful.
Happiness is not real, it is something outside ourselves that is chased, whereas joy is inside us all, ‘I walk down the street feeling the gorgeousness of myself and I live knowing who I am and I aim to stay connected to that at all times.’
Happiness is a peak of elation that even when we feel it we know it is fleeting and is not sustained and when we come down from the elation sadness awaits. When we feel the connection of true love and joy that we share with each other with no highs or lows but a constant harmonious feeling of love and joy we know we have found who we truly are.
I’ve returned to this post Brooke after a friend described how much that very question ‘Are you Happy’ knocked her off her perch….as she fell into the trap of asking herself what the hell she was doing with her life if it wasn’t for happiness.
This post immediately came to mind and I forwarded it on as soon as I could.
What you write here is so super clear and simple and is just a breath of fresh air! Thank you!
Oh yes and the pressure to ‘don’t worry, be happy’, is full on. We all know it when we see people faking it like it was a sport…so if we are going to these lengths, then is it possible it’s not real? Yes, we can feel happy, of course….but what if feeling joyful and complete within ourselves was actually something far deeper than a fleeting moment of ‘bliss/elation/happiness’?
I can so relate to cringing when someone asks me if I’m happy. I find it often comes from someone I haven’t seen in a long time. I don’t like to make small talk, so I often feel conflicted when answering this question, for all the reasons you have pointed out here Brooke. The knowledge that happiness is but an emotion that is not sustainable really helps to appreciate that it isn’t ‘it’. There is so much more than that available to us.
I used to feel that there was something wrong with me if I wasn’t feeling happy, after all wasn’t that what everyone was aiming for, but looking around me I never saw many people that had attained this seemingly elusive state. I slowly started to feel into the word, happy, and it felt empty, in no way tangible and being happy was always reliant on something or someone else; I realised that if happy was ever found it was always on the outside of me. Today I have come to know what joy is, and there is definitely no happy in joy, as joy comes from within me, flows through me, and ripples on out to those around me. Joy is solid, it is alive and I don’t need to go looking for it, it is always there, endlessly.
Thanks Brooke, it is great to read this and be reminded that joy is something that is constantly there whether we connect to that beautiful way of being confirmed in ourselves or not.
I feel that joy comes from the inside out whereas happiness is reliant on something we do externally that makes us feel good inside. Joy can be constant while happiness comes and goes.
Great exposé on how happiness falls very short of what we are all really asking for.
Thank you Brooke for your sharing. I love the way you share the difference between happiness and Joy and I see they are poles apart. Joy being the one that is always within just waiting for us to connect to it and happiness is just a fleeting moment in time.
Thank you Brooke for exposing the illusion of the word ‘happiness’ vs living the joy of who we truly are, I once used to chase things in my life to make me happy but of course it was short lived and lead me to search for more happiness. I no longer need to find happiness as I have learnt to build a loving relationship with myself and others and my life and then it is much easier to connect to and feel the joy that is naturally within.
Brooke in a moment of appreciation I can see how vastly different Happiness and Joyfulness are, yet if I go back to before I re-connected to the Esoteric in this life then I would interchange the words, not understanding the difference except knowing that no matter how much I tried I could never sustain Happiness. Today it is the moments or period where I allow myself to feel the innate Joy within that I treasure and commit to making a growing part of my life.
Happiness definitely has an outside attachment and can come and go at any moment as circumstances change, but joy is who we are, always there just needing to be connected to and lived.
Happiness is like a mirage, once it’s reached or attained it seems to evaporate or dissolve. This then activates the cycle of starting a new search to attain it. As you say Brooke, during all of this we continue chasing it and even blame ourselves for not being happy. As I look back at this pattern over the course of my life I’m surprised I never stopped to say to myself “This happiness thing is not working.” I just kept trying to make it work or gave up completely. Your words Brooke really sum up the difference here between happiness and joy. “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.” Nothing to search for, just a connection to be made inside of me.
Love how this blog nails the problem we face in our quest for happiness – that happiness is not the real deal but pure illusion and totally marbled throughout all our values and beliefs about how the perfect life should be. I like how you call happiness the emotional state it actually is – we’re in an emotional state when we feel it and it’s not sustainable so we always crave it or feel empty once it’s gone.
When asked what we want for our children we reply ‘happiness’ but do we really? If happiness is an ‘upper’, a fleeting emotion that slides down the other way, do we want this for any one?
Honestly now I would say that having felt joy in my body I would say that the most loving thing we could ‘want’ for our children would be awareness, honesty, true connection and the magnificence of joy in their lives.
A while ago I was known as being a happy person. Smiling a lot and often ‘up’. But since deepening my connection with myself and my body I now know that the steady warm still energy of joy is a whole other thing and that this quality is deeply healing and nothing like the elation of happiness.
It’s great to expose happiness as its a false belief. True joy is what we feel within us when we connect to our truth and inner self. It is this joy we feel in our body, which is constantly available to us. When we allow ourselves to connect to that stillness we can feel the joy within it never leaves us.
I remember being asked what I wanted most out of life and I answered to be happy and as I said it I didn’t really know what this happiness was. I just believed it would be an absence of the stress and worry and unease that anything else but happiness brought. That must have been about 40 years ago. Gradually I allowed myself to accept that happiness was not it and I sought a deeper connection to myself and humanity. I did not truly find this connection , know it and and how to hold it until I came across Serge Benhayon and began to attend courses and have sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners. The work is awesome, life changing and definitely lets us see happiness for what it is and offers us so much more.
You’re right Brooke, there is a lot of pressure to be happy and if you are not happy you are quite unsuccessful at life. Advertising pushes how happy looks and comes up with all the things you need to attain it. Social media can push this idea of the perfect life with many people posting their happy times. It is selective and can be deceptive if you are looking to compare your life and think that happiness or what you need is outside yourself, and others have it. I have had many happy times however it is an elation I do not want all the time. Joy is more constant and can be lived consistently. There’s nothing wrong with being happy, it’s nice. The thing is to not cast an eye over the fence and start comparing…that never leads to happiness or joy.
Its amazing Brooke how ingrained these ‘cover stories’ can be. It’s as if we have to peel back all the layers of ‘wishful thinking’ that sits on top, to get to the honest and essential truth that lives underneath. We think these aspirations and false presentations protect us somehow but all they do is just postpone the day we stop and be real. Because ultimately, it’s only then, we can start to heal.
The search for happiness is as old as humanity…. And isn’t that telling within itself. The thing is there has always been pockets of wisdom that understood the dichotomy, and were able to demonstrate what joy was truly about.
To be happy, it’s like there are a few things we need to have in place. “Ah at last – now I am happy!” Its an ongoing roller-coaster, a continuous neverending pursuit, like ‘chasing the dragon’. But Joy on the other hand, as you mention Brooke, is like an ever present radio show broadcasting 24/7. We can always tune in, if we choose to. There is actually no circumstance or situation that can get in the way of this joy being our theme each and every day. Joy is a feeling you get in your body when you connect to the truth and don’t let the fuzz and hiss of the false things in life, get in the way.
Sharing our inner Joy, makes the world brighten up!
I often have felt the cringe happen to me when someone says ‘Happy Birthday’ to me. What is this implying? I am happy because it is my birthday? To most the answer would be an obvious ‘of course you are happy it is your birthday’ but to me now I like to celebrate it more by saying ‘Joy-full Birthday’.
A beautiful blog Brooke to bring me back to the joy that resides inside
I love and am inspired by what you have expressed in this blog
Thanks Brooke, I can really relate to the way of searching for happiness outside myself and how whatever I do in that pursuit never leaves me with true joy. On the other hand just being with me in every moment is pure joy when i choose to connect and be all the Love I am
Certainly not perfectly, as I am always learning, evolving and being the forever student, I too am living a life that is simple yet so Grand, appreciating this is such a joy.
A beautiful sharing, thank you Brooke.
I can relate to the “cringe-factor” within the question “are you happy?”. Now, through reading your sharing, I understand much more the deeper reason for this reaction in me, I had my whole life. Happiness is a kind of common goal to reach that will never be true within. How momentous for the entire life, to mistake happiness and joy. How inspirational to receive your awareness about true joy here.
How can it be that if we feel to not meet the standards or goals we have set for ourselves the first thing we do is doubt ourselves instead of feeling if those goals might not be the real way forward for us.
In our modern world having fun and being happy are the goals which are portrayed everywhere, yet both are just volatile emotions. What we miss when aspiring for them is the deep natural joy that is within all of us all the time.
‘So then – am I happy? No – not always. But am I joyful? Very much so’ – the feeling of joy as it rests in the body is so expanding, emanating and warm, it just rests there and asks nothing of us. Happiness feels full of expectation, unable to endure and fleeting, even quite shallow. Loved reading this blog which, has exposed how we hand our power over to what is outside of ourselves rather than claiming what is already within.
A Beautiful blog thank you Brooke, I have also found that there is a vast difference between happiness and joy.
Feeling Joy brings a steadiness and simplicity emanating from within, whilst happiness is seasonal, emotional and triggered from outside external emotional energies.
Joy is everything we are, there is nothing needed to evoke it, it is just a constant in our body. Which we can connect to if we so choose, there is no obligation to be so whatsoever. But it is making life such a great experience, as that is what I take with me everyday, than I don’t need the short lasting emotion of happiness, as the joy is there already.
Feeling awesome and joyful is such a difference to being happy. When we are joyful, we just enjoy ourselves and the world in a very still and gentle way that does not ask for anything and simply is.
We constantly get told and reflected that we have to aspire to more and make anything and ourselves even more perfect, yet we never achieve this perfection. Could it be that we are on the wrong track? Could it be that being busy with becoming perfect we just are too occupied to see that we are already „as perfect as can be“ just as we are.
With happiness it is the same as with any other emotion: we will never be able to make it last. These emotions may sometimes last for a moment, sometimes for longer, but none of them is permanent.
Feeling ourselves in all that we are allows us to feel what fullness really means. This fullness is nothing we have to work for to attain it one day, we just have to connect to what is already inside of us.
Happiness is just a moment, while joy will last and is something that we might forget, but can never loose.
I too have found that joy is not a roller coaster of ups and downs but a steadiness that comes from within when we choose to stop and realise that life can be simple and uncomplicated.
Happiness is like a chocolate bar, it picks you up from being down, seems so sweet, but has you constantly craving another hit. It produces an kind of inverse reaction – when you don’t have the high you feel an extreme and strong low. Thanks to you words here Brooke I can feel that happiness is in fact the partner and bedfellow of depression and misery. I no longer am satisfied to snack on happiness when there’s joy on the menu.
“Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.” That is the difference between happiness and joy, happiness is something we seek from someone else or from something, it is momentary and does not last and the elation we first feel is replaced with an emptiness and a need to find it again. Joy is within us, we don’t have to seek joy or find it in anything, we just have to let it out…it is a completely different feeling, once you feel joy it becomes easier to see happiness as its false counterpart.
An appreciation of what joy truly is has been opened up to me by Serge Benhayon. Before this, I was yo-yoing from deferent state to different state of awareness, and I had not connected the dots about how deeply we can connect to ourselves, and that within that true connection there actually is , just naturally , joy.
It took me a while to realise that happiness is an illusion; a widely perceived panacea for all ills and an important ingredient of the recipe for life. To me, like you Brooke, it always felt elusive and in the main temporary, and when it left I was left with a gaping great hole to fill again with the next round of happiness, in whatever form that came in. How exhausting! But with the support of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and some wonderful practitioners I too have discovered something: “grander than anything I had tried to attain outside of myself” and that is joy. Joy, unlike happiness, is my constant companion always waiting for me to connect to it in every moment. It is now one of the main ingredients of my recipe for life; a life that is so unlike the life I used to struggle through, but a life that is full of love, laughter, appreciation, simplicity and endless joy.
“I felt that I was failing at life if I wasn’t ‘happy’. I chased it – and sometimes I felt it – but I could never hang onto it.” I so understand this Brooke. People would tell me to ‘cheer up’ when I wasn’t feeling sad. The happiness when I found it didn’t last either.- , there was always the chasing after it. Joy on the other hand arises when I am being all of me with everyone around – and brings a deep contentment.
Just now , looking at the headline of The New Philosopher magazine which is , why the pursuit of happiness makes us sad, whereas the unfolding of joy within us, simply brings a deeper and more harmonious life
Being happy has always been the goal of my life and I am very grateful to Universal Medicine for showing me that happiness is an illusional trap.
Well done Brooke on differentiating the meanings of happiness and joy, the opposite or negative to happy is sad however joy is constant with no opposite. I know I would rather the consistency of joy rather than the ups and downs of happy and sad.
It is quite interesting that there seems to be a common hunt for happiness, yet no one is realising that we never will catch this prey. Joy on the other hand is something that we do not need to run after let alone hunt. To find joy, we just have to listen to our hearts and then let our feeling flow into the World.
As long as we try to find something to fullfill us on the outside, we will never feel complete. It is like a trick that keeps us constantly busy searching for something, whilst the joy, simplicity and ease that we are missing is already there, inside our inner hearts, ready to be rediscovered at any time.
It is a great revelation when we come to realise that happiness is not it, it doesn’t stick. But Joy is indeed always there when we connect to who we truly are inside, and it does come from there.
“So then – am I happy? No – not always. But am I joyful? Very much so.” Thank you Brooke for making the distinction crystal clear. Human happiness will always be but a fleeting moment that comes to pass but joy being one of our foundation is always present. It is up to us to choose to live joyfully.
I once worked where our appraisal forms asked ‘Are you happy in your job’ and I always replied, ‘I’m enjoying the job’ or ‘I’m having fun’. A question about happiness always seems such a false, not-really-caring question but is asked because someone on high wants to make it look as though they do care. When a businesses becomes truly people-centred, then it will not even be a question – the joy that is naturally lived in a company like Universal Medicine, for example, is palpable – people may not be smiling all the time, because they don’t need to prove a point, but you can feel the stillness and the natural joy of being that lives in each employee and therapist.
Thank you Brooke, for exposing the drive for happiness as something that will never make us truly feel good. Happiness is just another emotional game that helps to not feel what is there to be felt, cleared and healed in our lives. It`s quite easily accessible through drugs, stimulation, checking out, indulging in emotional love etc., but it never feels deep, profound and solid, like joy does. Feeling true joy within is just not comparable to happiness as it fulfills me from deep inside and the best thing is: IT`S ALREADY THERE! I don`t need to try to get it, I just need to connect with the love I am.
A beautiful sharing, telling it just as it is, thank-you Eva-Maria.
When you connect to the enormity and beauty of what lies within and underneath the layers of everything we have taken on as our truth, it seems unreal that we have wasted so much time searching outside of ourselves, sometimes at great cost or in the adding of more layers to that which has been with us all along. Universal Medicine has been a blessing to us all for reminding us not only that this joy is within us should we choose to connect to it, but there is a way to feel and live it every day.
My heart dwells of love when I read these words, the words expose the lie of happiness that I tried to live and they confirm the true version of happiness that I now allow myself to surrender to more and more: the joy that is inside me.
Wanting to be happy meant having to do something. Being joyful means simply being me.
Happiness is but a fleeting emotion that keeps eluding us while Joy dwells deep inside us and needs no chasing after.
Things like getting a house, a car, boyfriend, partner etc are ideals and we can create or take on ideals by feeling that we are not enough. And this can make us think that we won’t be happy until we have all of those things. But as you have so brilliantly shared, happiness doesn’t last. There is joy and it is constant and natural in us. I feel that if I have joy I have everything, and then ill save up for a car and a house cause I want that too haha
What I am so loving with all of these blogs that everyone is writing, is how their livingness that they so gorgeously share, just jumps right off the page and is felt as an absolute truth within me. That’s the joy I feel, reading and feeling everyone’s divine expressions that confirm us all with their words and love.
Joy and stillness come from love and will lead us along the way of a harmonious life.
Now I know what joy is and am aware of the feeling in my body that joy is I also feel that happiness seems a bit hollow.
All my life I was looking for happiness as this is something I believed was worth searching for and experiencing.
But now I can feel how empty this feels – it requires you to constantly look outside of you to obtain this.
Happiness involves emotion- with highs come lows- like a roller coaster feeling. It is nonsustaining. It leaves you feeling exhausted.
However, joy is a divine essence found within us all , when in stillness. It feels full, rich, expansive in the body and there is an inner strength and radiating warmth felt throughout the body. Definitely worth connecting to daily.
Happiness does make my head dizzy, takes my focus to this one thing that makes me happy and will fade as quick as it appeared. Joy allows me to feel that there is much more than just me and that I am a part of this greater all. Joy simply is and nothing is needed. Joy will stay.
When I look back and think about all the things that used to make me happy I realise they were such a short fix, the underlying emptiness still remained, happiness was more of a distraction than a tangible thing. I can’t say that I am joyful all the time but I have far less highs and lows.
For me too Kevin, happiness was more of a distraction, something always in relation to doing. I haven’t been watching TV for over half a year and now I am at a family house where there is a big TV. I turned in on for 5 minutes and could not stay with it. I turned it off again. For me I realize that all these things that make people happy, like art, theatre, movies, going out, parties, TV, games, etc, just don’t do it for me any longer. The joy and richness I feel inside just feels so yummie, why distract myself from it?
Joy to me, feels so all encompassing, rich and full of life when you speak it, whereas, happiness feels like there is something missing , that you don’t get the whole enchilada so to speak. There is basically no similarity whatsoever.
One is full of love and other isn’t, end of story.
It occurred to me after revisiting this awesome blog, that I was reminded of some advertizing recently seen on billboards, outside shops etc. and it seems that the word ‘happy’ is currently being promoted as a state or experience to acquire as a result of some activity to be a party to that comes from outside of ourselves, but we are being invited to believe in it nonetheless. On viewing these billboards it would seem that ‘happy’ is but a nebulous thing that has no substance – for I feel that if it had substance, or if it was truly worth attaining, then all we would have to do is go into a McDonalds Store, Drink Coke and something else that recently I saw was also being advertized in huge letters that “HAPPINESS is this thing, (but I cannot remember what exactly that thing was just at the moment) however, if you chose to abide by what they were declaring, then if you ate, licked, drank , smoked or played with this – whatever it was – then you would be assured that you would experience ‘happiness’. I really find the way the word “happy’ is being used currently is quite amusing. How much simpler life would be if we forgot about being ‘happy’ from the outside, and focused on the feeling of natural joy within. Now it seems to me that that would be truly heart-warming.
Brooke, very solid article and a great thing to expose on a global scale. As a society we are chasing the dangling carrot of ‘Happiness’, in my experience it is a dangerous thing to chase as it leaves you always unsatisfied and wanting more and more, like a cup with a hole on the bottom that you are unable to fill up.
‘It fills my body with warmth and when I am connected to it I feel play-full – like I want to express all of me to the world.’
Joy is never only for myself, joy is there to share with everyone,
Indeed fiona, “joy has no need, it is just there to connect and inspire others should they so choose”. Beautiful said.
The beauty and simplicity of joy brings with it the fact, that we will realise and feel in the depth of our bodies that there is nothing we have to struggle to achieve or live up to. Truly living is just being who we are and from there everything else will unfold itself with ease and grace.
Very true Michael. Surrendering to joy leaves no desire of anything, because it is already the most fulfilling thing we could feel – our essence.
Such a gorgeous sharing Brooke, really exposes the emptiness of ‘happiness’, which is always fleeting, and when it happens, it almost like a drug that is short lived….and then we want more, and continue to try to attain it, it has nothing to do with what is inside of us….and you have introduced JOY! JOY is solid, very real, JOY is the expression of our internal richness that we often don’t even have any connection to as we are too busy trying to be happy by what’s out there. NOthing out there can give us, what we already have within, tremendous JOY! Brooke you have shared this in a very real way, you live it and have shown us that JOY is here for us all!
What an amanzing adventous women you feel to be. I really relate to your understanding and your philosophy around joy vs happiness. Joy is something that is so innate and bubbles up from the deeper part of our being ness where happiness does feel like an ideal and a harder way of being in the world, trying to always maintain a level of ‘happiness’ ..
I lived 8 years in the US while I was pursuing my doctoral studies. If you had asked me in the past I would have said, it is amazing to be here and I would be proud of the fact that there was not a single day where I said to myself ‘Ok, let’s go back home’. For me, this was a sign of commitment. A confirmation that yes, this is it. If I dig a bit under the surface, what I see was someone lonely, excited about being there from my mind, but unhappy for being there from my body, someone who was really convinced that the mind would be my home and my support to move forward safely, someone who struggled quite a bit everyday, someone who was delighted to get recognition from others. In the meantime, my body was exhausted, my digestion was horrible, my left heel cracked, developed haemorrhoids. It certainly was not the happiest time in my life. Before embarking into this adventure I thought that this would be my road to rock in life. I only found a rocky path.
This is great sharing Eduardo, but you also touch on something very revealing, could it be said that ‘happiness’ is in the head, based on ideas and so forth, so when we reach here ideas of what’s happy for us, we get that rush…but it doesn’t sustain because its not real…Where joy is in the body, a connection to our inner wealth, so it is solid and consistent if we so choose to build this in our lives.
Wow Eduardo what a story. I know I too have experienced living in the mind and thinking that its the way to go while at the same time my body feels awful. This is a great paragraph for anyone to read who feels this way. It seems there is a big expense on the body if we always use our mind to achieve success and recognition.
I’ve recently recognised this distinct difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is something I have sought and craved and it comes from outside of me. Joy is a steady and holding feeling that is always within me if I choose to connect to it. It took some time to be honest about the fact that I was craving happiness and the escalation and excitement that comes with it. Once I began to redevelop my connection with joy, the emptiness of happiness revealed itself.
‘Yes, ‘is happiness really it’, and I would add, ‘and what is it anyway?’. I have been pondering on this since I read first read this blog, and have come to the conclusion that I don’t really have a clue what it is. It isn’t solid at all, we all have a different idea of what it is, or how to gauge it, and most often we judge it by reference to what it is not, i.e. not being ‘unhappy’. I am not sure that there is such a things as ‘happiness’.
Joy is so much more robust than happiness, this is so true Brooke, and is constantly there within us and never wavers. When I choose to not be in joy, I catch myself seeking something to fill me, a sure sign I have stepped away from it. Returning back to that connection to my essence, is the most exquisite feeling of coming home, back to the absoluteness of me.
Yes Julie, for me the JOY is the connection to the essence within, its very simple, and as you say, exquisite. Living with the quality of joy in life, is life changing because a part of that is this consistent joy! Even if life has its challenging moments, joy is never far away….I feel JOY is our natural state of being and we have settled for so much less, so unconsciously we seek this joy that we have substituted with happiness thinking it is outside of us…
I too share your experience of fleeting moments of happiness Brooke, it is shaky ground. Living with a connection to my essence and to my soul feels so expansive and light, and this is the way I choose to embrace life now.
The esoteric healing sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners and the work and inspiration of Serge Benhayon have opened the way for feeling steady, joyful, purposeful, knowing that I am able to do this for myself, it is already there inside me.
Reading this blog made me consider happiness in the context of the activities I used to do, I would find “happiness” in say playing sport, then when that finished there would be a bit of an emptiness, but no time for that as I would move on to food and be comforted by that, then I would be happy about having a beer, and then…. and so on and on. Within this there is no willingness to feel how I actually was and that happy is not where it is at. It is a fleeting moment built on rocky ground of having to do something. Thanks for your writing Brooke, great to read your take on happy and how it feels to be joyful.
“It is there when I am sleeping and it is there when I wake. It is solid and it is constant. It feels confirming of who I am – and I don’t need to do anything except connect to me and be with me to feel it. It is so much more robust than happiness. It fills my body with warmth and when I am connected to it I feel play-full – like I want to express all of me to the world”
What a joy to read what you have expressed here Brooke; it is filled with truth and wisdom
Thank you for sharing, I am inspired to feel the joy and let it out!
After reading your blog Brooke I have to agree that “are you Happy” is not a good question because it is so loaded. By asking it you are almost asking them to reply untruthfully. “How are you” can be said as an empty unconcerned greeting, or as a genuine invitation that says “I really want to look you in the eyes and hear what is going on for you.” This leaves the other person free to share whatever they feel.
Joy is so much more robust than happiness … just love this sentence. I’m definitely for joy … the aching emptiness that underpins the drive for happiness is unbearable, I know that feeling so well and it led me on a path of always seeking. However joy is always there, waiting for me to reconnect to myself if I lose it for a while, it is solid.
Yes Joy is super playful. When I see a one year old baby in the juice of her joy, she cannot help but squeal in absolute playfulness. It’s so yummy being constantly in connection to that joy that she makes heavenly cute sounds, while her soul-connectedness shines from her eyes.
Beautiful sharing Brooke thank you. The constant searching for and constant pull for happiness is in marked contrast to the consistent solid internal presence and knowing permanently there inside of joy. Joy is confirming of our very essence our being and who we are. It is a beautiful way to feel and live and just be. Joy is pure gold and the realisation and embracing of this has been reflected, brought to us and inspired to us by Serge Benhayon , his family and Universal Medicine as the way to live in connection with ourselves truly and lovingly joyful.
Brooke I feel full too! ” I rarely feel that empty feeling that used to plague me – and, if I do, I know that it is because I have disconnected and all I need to do is be me”This would have to be one of the most beautiful results of my return to loving and appreciating me in full and that dreaded feeling of literally feeling hollow has gone …
Well said Merrillee, i also remember that dreadful, cold feeling of emptiness, that has completely gone since Ive developed a loving relationship with me and the joy continues to grow and grow…there is no space for the emptiness any longer….Thank God!
Happiness for me meant momentary feelings of the warm and fuzzies that kind of felt that it was all around me and only lasted for as long as the thing that I used to give me that happiness lasted, but joy on the other hand, holds me in its exquisite embrace from deep within me, is always there so I don’t need to seek it out. It supports me in full with its cheeky but strong embrace and is within every one of us.
It’s so common to look outside of ourselves for happiness. It’s easy to want someone or something to do it for us and make us happy. But ultimately this is dis-empowering because we are then not taking responsibility for the way we feel or doing anything about it. The emptiness of the search can be replaced by the fullness of our own efforts and love. We have the power to feel amazing without needing anything from anyone.
I love the way you describe an Esoteric healing Session: “There were no bells or whistles, just a gentle loveliness… something full and real. My body rested deeply, it was like I had fallen asleep, but I was still very much there.”
“I felt that I was failing at life if I wasn’t ‘happy’. I chased it – and sometimes I felt it – but I could never hang onto it.” That is what I found with happiness too Brooke, not only could I never hang onto happiness but I was expecting it to disappear, it was illusive and had no substance to it and it didn’t take much for something to come along and spoil it. Joy is completely different, I can feel it in my body and it is a state of being that I don’t need to hang onto and needs nothing to feed it. When you feel joy, happiness is exposed for the imposter it is, it is a completely different feeling.
Hi Brooke, this took me back through my entire life where I looked outside for something to make me happy, from friends to holidays, houses, marriage and I just didn’t get why I was never happy for long. Sometimes on holiday I can remember feeling so empty and wondering why. When I re-connected to me I began to understand and your blog outlines it perfectly. When I am connected to me I am joyful, its a very different feeling to the fleeting grasping at happiness, its a solid foundation upon which I can stand.
Thank you for reminding me. It is my spirit that seeks happiness through excitement and experiences out side of me. And it gets so easily bored when nothing like is happening. But, as you say, that constant, still, and often joyful deeper presence, that is the true me, is just there, waiting to be connected to.
I am feeling that when asking the question about someone’s “happiness” that we are expecting them to say they are happy and this in a way gets us off the hook as we don’t need to probe any further or connect any deeper which could feel uncomfortable for us. It seems to be a throw away question for the benefit of the person asking but not really seeking anything but the “relief ” in knowing that someone is okay!!
Yes I agree Anne Hishton and there can also be complicit in the answer “yes I am happy” the agreement to make someone else feel comfortable and let us off the hook of sharing what is truly going on….keeping us all on a dishonest merry-go-round. Thank God it doesn’t have to be this way.
Thank you for so clearly differentiating the difference between happiness and joy. In general we are presented with the idea that to be joyful, or even happy, is to be gained from something external rather than from living and expressing from being true to oneself. Connecting with that way of being is the healing that Esoteric Healing brings.
“Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.”- in stillness and deep connection to self joy is felt, and it feels beautiful, loving and confirming of the essence of who we are.
So many people accept it as normal that our life is a roller coaster – there are songs written about, self help books devoted to dealing with it, lifestyles constructed around it. But it really doesn’t have to be that way. My life is not smooth sailing but I don’t have the ups and downs any more; it is simple – I am either connected and deepen this connection or I am not.
For me I was often happy when an external factor changed, like if I went somewhere ‘fun’ or if I got a certain response from someone, it was very much tied up with something on the outside and then I had a feeling of elation and excitement. With joy it is much more consistent, it comes from within and is a warmth in the body, there are no highs or lows, it is just an emanation.
So true Kristy…i also remember when the happiness was over, i felt even worse, then went out to get more of it!
It’s so true Brooke that happiness falls well short of our natural and innate joy… and so how far have we fallen from our true state of being and normal if happiness is seen as our high point?
It’s so obvious when people are faking it. A smile can come from the depths of the heart when we feel true joy, or it can cover up a myriad of stuff that we don’t want the world to see.
So true and so wise, the only way to feel a constant form of joy is to be joyfully living in all that we do and all that we say. This can only come from within and is an amazing place to discover.
Such a great blog – the illusion of happiness – it is all there in the title. Happiness is something we are all taught we need to get it, attain it somehow, but it always feels illusive, cause when you think you’ve gotten it, it changes and shifts so quickly, you feel let down by it. Because it is outside of us usually, we feel happy because of someone or something, so it’s outside and not coming from within. That is the illusion, that we can have something that is outside of us that can make us whole/happy, it won’t. So building up JOY, within oneself is definitely a more sustainable way of being.
I agree with all you say here, Ariana, happiness is such an ephemeral thing, it is there, and then it goes. But joy is such a different, steady feeling of confidence, that comes from our deep connection with our own innermost. I know which I would rather have.
Thank you for a beautiful blog, Brooke. This statement, “I knew that the solidness I felt in me was real. I knew that I didn’t feel like I was lacking anything or needing to fill myself. I knew that what I felt in me was something far grander than anything I had tried to attain outside of myself” is a great description of the feeling of joy that we can feel in our body when we are deeply connected with ourselves. It is not a big rah rah feeling, but such a steady feeling of all being complete and at one with the world. I am more and more coming to feel that deep inside me and with me in many of my days. I agree, we may not be ‘happy’ all of the time, but actually happiness is such a fleeting thing it comes momentarily, then it is gone. It is quite ephemeral. Give me joy any time, over happiness.
There is such a sense of impermanence with the word happiness. Whenever I was happy there would always be that little question niggling at the back of my mind – how long can I hold onto this? Joy on the other hand has a completely different quality. With joy there is no desire to hold onto the feeling for you can feel the joy is there to be shared – in fact it is impossible to hold onto it for it wants to be out there in the world with everyone else.
‘What I was able to then feel was that ‘happiness’ is as I had always felt it to be – it is but a fleeting moment. It comes and goes; it is something that we can’t hang on to. Like any other emotion, it is not solid. It is often attached to an event or a hype of some kind.’
This Brooke is so true. And once I felt the steady and expansive feeling of JOY I have never wanted to be happy again. 🙂
Brooke, I love how you describe Esoteric Healing because I have felt the same ‘There were no bells or whistles, just a gentle loveliness… something full and real. My body rested deeply, it was like I had fallen asleep, but I was still very much there.’ Beautiful.
Happiness doesn’t last, it comes in moments and is needed to be constantly strived for. Whereas Joy just lives and it doesn’t need any effort, it just IS. I prefer Joy any day and it is a constant, sustainable, natural quality that is always there and doesn’t need me to try and search for it.
The elusive search for happiness, what I used to strive for and still do when I am disconnected. As you well describe Brooke, it is an emotion neither solid nor constant. But Joy does not require any effort, will never disappear from our lives and is there in abundance within ourselves.
Joy is a beautiful constant feeling, comes from deep within. Joy never disappears, is there always in that connection with the self. Happiness is a moment to moment feeling, it needs to be evoked and is there one moment gone the next. We all look for happiness outside of us, where as joy resides within us, no need to look just need to connect.
Thank you for the blog Brooke Taylor it made me ‘happy’ to read this! Haha. I actually felt Joy connecting to your words, and, the joy of feeling your expression.
This just confirms how much joy I feel when I truly connect with people. I feel joy when the conversation goes deeper and becomes more honest and people go within and express from their heart. The joy for me is to drop all expectations and hold the connection firmly and foremost. There is nothing more joyful to me in this world than expressing and exploring what I know and feel. Love this blog!
I heard on the radio recently a discussion about what makes people happy. It was interesting that everyone had a different version of it. For some it was staying in bed an extra couple of hours at the weekend, for some it was their relationships, for some it was going to the pub at the weekend. There wasn’t a consistent thread of commonality. Interestingly through this blog JOY is described by all as coming from a connection within and being connected to self with no outer influences needed to support it being in existence. It seems we have missed Joy off our radar for a much lesser version called happiness.
Nice one Brooke, I think this just proves nobody can be happy all the time even if they make out they are. We often tire of the things that make us happy and have to find new things, but the joy once found will always remain.
Well said Kevin, using holidays as an example of this, you see people trying to get happiness out of a dream holiday but also growing bored or unsatisfied by a simple holiday, in this search, the destinations and trips become more and more extravagant in order to get the ‘happiness’ fix, short lived but a ‘high’ never the less. When you think about the effortlessness of a babies joy then happiness is actually an exhausting endeavour.
Re-reading your blog again today Brooke I fully connect with your expression of: ‘Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.” This is so true and the more I am truly connected to my self the more I am also feeling this daily. Thank you for an awesome blog.
I love what you have expressed and shared here so much Brooke! Yes it is amazing how we can feel that the question: “Are you happy?” is not really getting to the crux of it. Me too, I found this always a difficult question to answer; straight away all the questions come up, what am I meant to ‘have’ so I could be blissfully happy? And the knowing life is never like that on a constant basis for myself nor for everybody else. Yes, I can be ‘happy’ if I get myself my favourite food for example. But what happens when I have finished eating that? Then I’m left unhappy until I eat that again? This will lead me to obesity for sure, then I won’t be happy at all…. So yes, this concept of ‘being happy’ is definitely flawed, hugely so. Joy though is steady, as it lives inside of me, and I can choose to connect to it constantly, and any time, no matter what. That feels so much more empowering and real, actually. Thanks again Brooke for exposing this lie we easily fall for.
It’s true Brooke, happiness has that elation element and we can’t sustain it. Joy on the other hand, comes from deep within and belongs to us in a way that cannot be given away. We can inspire another to find their joy within.
Our language around happiness is different to joy. We talk about making someone happy or searching for happiness, all things outside ourselves and impossible to sustain without exhaustion. Love and joy are eternal and don’t need fuelling from outside.
I used to feel that ‘happy’ was the ultimate feeling and if this was included in my day it was a ‘goal’ achieved. Now having experienced ‘JOY’ that is a living natural sensation that just rises and shines from the depths of our being, to share with the world that we are living in a way that expresses us in our fullness. A beautiful sharing with us all Brooke.
Brooke looking back on my adult life I would say that I was really happy most of the time. I was a person who felt ‘up’ most days and if anything would get a bit too high at times. Others looked at me and I know thought that I had something that was worth having. Now, however, since coming to the work of Universal Medicine and letting go the false parts of myself I am starting to feel like the real me. I realise that my happy life lacked the real me, I was a shape shifter. What I now feel on a daily basis is so much richer than any flippable happiness.
What an incredible journey you have been on Brooke! To realise that happiness is only every momentary and that it is a fruitless and empty mission that we can feel a failure if we unable to sustain or keep bettering.
Sue I too have chased happiness to no avail, it may have lasted a short time but in hindsight I can see that this was harmful because it is an emotion and it took me away from being present in my body. I would feel elevated for a while then I would drop very soon after and again feel disillusioned and depressed, only to try and chase happiness again it was a vicious cycle that never ended.
I was always looking to be happy, I thought if I found the right man I would be happy, if I got great marks at school I would be happy, etc. What I now know is that I was expecting something or someone outside of me to make me happy. Where as joy needs no one to be something for me or nothing to happen it is an innate quality within that I can chose to connect to or not.
Thanks Brooke for a great blog. The trap of trying to fill the emptiness inside ourselves by looking outside of ourselves is very common, yet we don’t realise that it is taking us even further away from what we are seeking. Exchanging the idea of achieving happiness to one of allowing ourselves to allow and appreciate a joy of ourselves gives me something solid to anchor to.
True Helen and a great illusion in many of our customary pursuits, looking outside ourselves to find happiness, where to start, fun parks, pubs, clubs, New Years Eve, Christmas and so on and so on. Why do we not learn at school true contentment is found within…instead we are taught to continually look outside ourselves to find happiness. Boy have we got it backwards. We are born knowing we are everything, we are educated to believe we are not and then we start all over again trying to find that space within, when it was there all along. Who profits from this madness I wonder?
I agree Helen. And the key is in what you have said – “Exchanging the idea of achieving happiness to one of allowing ourselves to allow and appreciate a joy of ourselves.” We achieve happiness by doing things, but joy is built by a dedicated connection to the beingness of who we are.
Thank you for the interesting thought /feeling provoking blog Brooke and your analogy to a rollercoaster Suzanne. That fake out there happiness I sometimes feel with people has never felt ok to me and when I felt it myself it wasn’t a comfortable feeling. After pondering on this blog I really get it happiness is like a roller coaster seams to only be there provoked by external stimulation and is only momentary and then we look for another stimulating even. Whereas Joy feel solid in the body and doesn’t seek outside stimulation jut a solid light uplifting feeling that can stay with you and be lived indefinitely. Yes I often loose it when I lose my connection to me but it is always there when I re-connect to my authentic self.
Yes, Margaret, that is the beautiful thing, joy is always there deep within, we never truly lose it, it is just that we unfortunately at times disconnect to it. And many still have to discover that it is there.
I love your response Sandra – as you say “thank God you are not happy!’ It makes me laugh because the pressure I also used to feel to ‘be happy’ and ‘what’s wrong with me if I’m not’ – was intense -. I realize now I only needed to confirm myself and what I already knew deep within – but most of us learned to look outside for confirmation – and so many people use their next vacation, or Friday night out getting slightly drunk or weekend event as what they save for ‘happy’ to be talked about and recalled over and over – it reveals its own emptiness but takes courage to step out of the ‘status quo’ and all the ‘jollying’ to be truthful about what is really going on.
A really great blog Brooke. Thank you for sharing it. This is something I’ll have to read again. I really relate to the trying to look happy and like I’ve got it together. It doesn’t feel like I’m being the real me. I can also relate to the feeling of not lacking anything despite life feeling hard sometimes. There is a knowing inside of me that the things I have chased out there in this world have not satisfied me, only the connection to me inside, so that’s something I can always come back to – not as a quick fix but as something that is true and lasting.
Annie what you share is how I also felt, trying to look like I had it together in the hope of convincing myself I did. Looking for happiness and constantly feeling disappointment. As Brooke has shared “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.” so even when I can’t feel it – its still there. With joy being eternal its now the choices I make that allow me to be feeling that joy or not.
Joy ‘feels confirming of who I am’. Rereading your blog Brooke, this phrase stopped me and I realised how much tension and energy used to go into trying and searching to find out ‘who I really was’. I felt the joy when I read your words, in just knowing, being with and celebrating that I am what I used to seek! I can feel my heart sing now. In fact I have always known this at some level, that just being me is enough, however it was never confirmed. Thank God for Serge Benhayon!
I just love the photo!!
I too love that photo Otto, it captures the absolute divine nature of joy.
Yes Otto the photo is gorgeous it makes me smile…. Pure Joy coming through!
Joy for me is like a confirmation of the amazingness I am, a confirmation of the love that I am coming from and now start to live again.
Happiness is like a state of being in which I avoid my lived disconnection the best.
If that is so – thank God you are not happy.
Recently I felt lovely. Everything just felt right and although far from perfect, there was a deep feeling inside of me that was contented and loving. I wondered at the time if this was actually joy that I was feeling and I noted how there was no elation, excitedness, drama or intrigue. Just a very steady feeling of being whole, being me, and not needing anything from anything but wanting to share it all with everyone.
Several years ago I thought happiness was something that I had to constantly search for, there was no self responsibility for my own getting or feeling of it, it was most definitely something I thought had to be acquired by an outside influence and no matter how hard I tried to hold onto it, it slipped away from me.
Now that I know I am the key to how I will be, I can feel that happiness is a short lived and addicitive never ending thing that is NOT it, what is it, is my own tender and absolute love that is always there within me and never do I have to seek it, just simply allow it, and be it.
Brooke, I am here for the second time and I will surely return. Just love your blog. We are so busy trying to look good and convincing ourselves and others that we are doing great that we don’t even know what we are feeling inside anymore. And boy do we miss out. Really connecting to my self is the best choice I ever made. I still have some difficulties letting go of these old beliefs and convictions but inspired by Serge Benhayon I now know and feel that I don’t have to look for anything anymore, all I need is right here inside of me.
I love the image of you, walking joyfully and people stopping to ask if you are happy and you say “no”. There is a world of difference between joy and happiness, thanks for making this difference a bit clearer to me.
Yes Joel. It turns the whole thing on it’s head. “Happy? Nah. I’m joy-full. Happy would be an off day for me. Better get me a healing session if I’m feeling happy!”
Touché Joel!
I totally agree with you Joel joy and happiness are like chalk and cheese, they are 2 very different qualities happiness is an emotion that poisons your body and joy is a natural state of being.
I am joyful, pretty much everyday, all day. How amazing is that? And actually I can feel that it is some how shocking and confronting to say it out loud…in public so to speak. Why would something so ‘joyful’, inspirational and unimposing be confronting, because many of us seek and have an inner knowing that we could be more ‘joyful’ but we don’t think we know how to do it. I know that in the past I did react strongly, even with anger to those who lived consistently with joy, I was actually furious with myself for not living like that as well. Being joyful is something outside of the ‘norm’ something that reflects a different choice and so asks a question of those who come into contact with it, could there be another way? There is a general collusion, of life being tough and that a moan and a groan about it is the ‘normal’ way. For example my children are on their summer holiday at the moment and many times in the last few weeks through general conversations I had been asked “must be a long few weeks with the kids being around, bet you can’t wait until they go back?”, this or similar sentences have been said to me regularly. I have answered all these questions in a very similar way “It has been a pleasure having my children with me and sharing with them” and in some cases this has meant that the person asking the question has said to me “actually I liked having the children around in the summer holidays” and our conversation has deepened and become appreciative, and in other cases it has been perhaps been a little confronting. There are days when I find what occurs with my children challenging, as I would in any other relationship, I am learning and that is okay, but even in these moments I know they and I are amazing and full of love. I feel blessed to be sharing with them, we learn a lot from each other and we have deep intimacy and yes we share a lot of joy. I bring this example up because even with children present it is ‘normal’ in society to suggest that it would be better not to have them around and instead have them at school. Often we collude and would answer with a mumble or a ‘polite’ laugh, but it is in no way funny to tell the children that they are a drag and it is better that they are not around. Yes, life can be challenging, but to ‘blame’ and moan about children or anything rather than taking responsibility for ourselves and how we deal with life is shocking and yet it happens everyday all around us. So joy, a simple, small word with huge impact if you go around living with it, it shakes things up and asks us all “can life be different?”
This is gorgeous to read Samantha. To hear someone share they are joyful everyday such as you have is rare indeed, yet your words flow with a palpable naturalness, confirming to us all how simple life can be.
Beautifully expressed Brooke the difference between happiness and joy. Since I have read your blog, it is clear to me, that being happy feels like playing a role, basically I calibrate and I show a face to the world to be liked. Joy doesn’t need anything, no stimulation, it comes out of me and is shared and confirmed by other people.
I love your description of joy being much more robust than happiness.
Happiness can be lost so easily, joy on the contrary is something I always can come back to if things in life seemingly become difficult, something that will last.
I love how you have exposed the very comment question of ‘are you happy?’ The word Happy, is so commonly used and reflecting back, I too cringed when someone asked me that same question. Happiness feels like it is something I have to achieve, it is like a conditioning and never lasting. Happiness seems to be superficial and seeking it from the outside of who I am, whereas Joy is emanating from within. Joy always resides within me but it is a choice for me to choose to express that outwardly or not. Feeling joyful is when I am willing to acknowledge it has being there all along, choosing to access it and to share it with everyone.
“Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.”
These words are so simple yet profoundly true
Thank you Brooke for sharing your experiences and for your beautiful expression.
I agree Shirl Scott, imagine if we give ourselves full permission to live the joy which is naturally within…
What Brooke so beautifully describes is the complete effortlessness that is required to connect with our inner hearts and experience joy.
Thank you Brooke for exploring what happiness is vs true joy.
I too was searching for happiness in my life from outside of myself- through bettering myself in study, finding a man, travel, going out to movies , eating out at restaurants- the list goes on, only to find I could never get enough.
Thanks to the gentle breathe meditation taught by Serge Benhayon at Universal medicine I have felt and know that joy can only be felt from the stillness within. It is always there waiting for us to connect to.
Happiness requires constant stimulation from something outside us as it does not come from within us. This is actually exhausting and never possible anyway. Joy on the other hand just requires us to be, to be who we truly are and live it in full. It is a confirmation of who we are already and this is what feels so joyfull about it!
Beautifully shared Joshua, I totally agree.
I can really feel this too, Josh. Our society is so hung up on being happy that we even do surveys on it! I think our society needs us to be happy to confirm that the way we are living at the moment is okay. If it is okay then we are justified to carry on with an existence that is fed by materialism, ownership, fleeting loveless relationships, busyness and overstimulating experiences. I know this because I used to live this way! Give me joy any day!
And as the pursuit of happiness exhausts us, Joy actual feeds our bodies. Someone who is happy will easily eat chocolate. Someone who is joyful never would. This tells us everything we need to know about what the two very different states are doing to our body. Joy is a nectar and a medicine. It heals our bodies.
Kapow! Otto that is such a wonderful way to view the happy state and the joy of being. So totally different. I love that you have written Joy is medicine. That makes complete sense.
Nail on head there Otto. I would add by saying – people eat chocolate BECAUSE they are happy… or sad.. or any other emotional roller coaster. It cushions the lows. With joy, there are no lows.
I love the way you have exposed the huge difference between happiness and joy, Brooke. The constant chasing the tail phenomenon of seeking the ever elusive happiness. which is always attached to an external event, person or object, is exhausting and totally illusory.
Joy, however, has an eternality to it, since it is a natural part of who we are when we are connected with our innate essence. As your article so beautifully shares, why spend a life ( or many lives ) chasing the illusion of happiness, when connection with self already holds within absolute joy for free, unencumbered by conditional, external factors. Literally a no brainer!
Coleen, you are so right when you share, “The constant chasing the tail phenomenon of seeking the ever elusive happiness. which is always attached to an external event, person or object, is exhausting and totally illusory.’ I know that chasing you speak of, especially through getting the ideal job, the perfect house in the perfect location, the perfect partner and the perfect friends. When the inner is empty and it seeks fulfilment on the outside, it can never be satisfied. The constant searching is ever present. Yet, when the inner is connected to and the richness and beauty of it is felt there can be no outward investments. The outer is what it is and need disappears.
Happiness is one of those ‘feel good’ emotions that can easily trick. When we don’t feel so good, it is clear something is up, but when something leaves us ‘feeling good’ it is so easy to not question it. Happiness always needs something to keep it going, otherwise, like any drug it wears off.
Great observation Vicky. Happiness like any drug, wears off.
Yes Vicky… and ‘the wearing off’ then leaves us to ‘come down’ and feel the emptiness that lead to seeking the ‘drugs’, or pursuit of happiness in the first place.
This is so very lovley and true Brooke “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.” All I need to do is choose to feel and connect to what is already inside me. I did this readying your blog and it is the most wonderful internal warmth and aliveness.
Joy is this marvellous feeling of being right and enough just as we are, nothing to be achieved or lived up to, just being and enjoying all the wonders we meet each and every day.
This is gorgeous Michael, ‘Joy is this marvellous feeling of being right and enough just as we are, nothing to be achieved or lived up to, just being and enjoying all the wonders we meet each and every day.’ Your description of joy is my experience of how many children are, that they are joyful because they are content being themselves, they have not given up on themselves and gone out searching for happiness from others or outward sources.
I love your Blog Brooke which fantastically describes for me the KEY difference between Happiness and Joy. Such a beautiful and inspiring sharing re your process around feeling the truth of each. Your blog contains so many gorgeous sections. I really had a sense of embodying even more joy reading your blog and particularly loved “it is there when I am sleeping and it is there when I wake” – how gorgeous!
There are so many questions and sayings we use today that truly have no meaning, they are simply socially acceptable but offer very little if any opportunity for true connection. Take for example the question, “how are you?” If you notice most often no one really stops to hear your reply and it can become a pretty robotic interchange of “I am good” followed by a “how are you” with the same response back. I often crack up because sometimes I have not even asked someone how they are before they are giving me the robotic answer in reply, that is how conditioned we have become. Thank you Brooke for sharing how you trusted your feelings and got to a deeper understanding of why the question “are you happy” never sat right with you.
This is so true Caroline. The robotic response is a way of saying – ‘I’m actually feeling rubbish but I’d rather not talk about it because we’re all supposed to be happy, and if we’re not we are failing at life.’ The ideal of happiness is quite horrible in the sense that if one doesn’t measure up to it and you are feeling sad or any other ‘negative’ emotion, one is either pitied with sympathy or ostracised because people don’t know how to deal with someone who responds that they are not ‘good’, ‘fine’, or some other reductive word – neither response is love. Neither is connection or union. This all exposes ‘happiness’ to be an illness that fosters separation amongst us and yet we have been taught to strive for it, to create stress to achieve it! Crazy! No wonder there are so many people on anti-depressants.
I agree with this. And then there is another aspect to it that I have experienced a lot over the years. Very often when I have been asked “how are you”, I have not held back and have expressed that I feel terrific, amazing, ace, joyful etc…and have gone on to say why… And I have seen how uncomfortable some people (definitely not all of them) are with this level of claimed joy. And then if I am not feeling that way I will also, as you have said in your blog Jinya, express that I feel rubbish and then go on to explain why. Either way, whichever the expression, some people are rattled by an expression of truth. But there are some who love it. Some who are so relieved and inspired to hear a truth, because they are feeling the same but the norms of society don’t allow or expect people to express so honestly. “How are you?” has become so totally devoid of any level of care, love or brotherhood.
As an example I remember a few years back when my three kids were much younger and I was in the middle of those confusing times of early parenting. The absolute expected norm is that mothers and fathers should find having children the best thing ever. So often you hear the expression “the best day of my life” in relation to when their children were born. Well, I found it tough, I found it exhausting and there were many days when I harked back to the days before my kids were born. Whether this is how I truly felt, or whether this is how I feel now (it 100% is not) is irrelevant. What is relevant is that when I expressed these feelings openly, specifically to other fathers, the relief in them was so palpable. At last they were being freed from the shackles of the expected norm, of the expectation that they were meant to be happy…at last they felt that they could actually say how they truly felt. It was huge. And very healing for many, myself included. The pressure on our bodies that builds from not expressing our truth is gigantic.
Great point that you raise Otto, that we should feel in a particular way, even Happy all of the time. Without this pressure we have the opportunity to feel what is really going on, address what we can and connect within with the joy of who we truly are.
Thank you for sharing this experience Otto. The pressure to be happy, especially as a parent is huge. Also the pressure on our bodies that builds from not speaking the truth and expressing how we really feel is, as you say, GIGANTIC. Speaking so openly to other fathers as you do is very inspiring and a healing for all.
I agree Caroline, I wonder sometimes who the ‘I am good’ answer to how are you is there to convince!
I love your comment Caroline, I have often experience this too. I myself have done this so many times, finding myself replying before someone even asks me the question of ‘how are you’. I laugh at myself too when I do that. The disconnection with that person is so obvious that I start to feel uncomfortable because I have gone into the robotic response way ahead of myself. This happens because I was not fully aware of myself, I have gone into the drive of getting info from that person and not to first connect with them but straight to wanting something from them. Same with the question ‘are you happy’, I often reply ‘yes’. It just cuts the conversation dead. It feels so sallow that there is no depth to the question or the answer so there is no more connection to be built, it then allows the conversation that follows to be superficial, continuing on with the same energy.
Our ultimate fix in life has been happiness. It’s what most parents want for their children when considering their lives as ‘successful’. It’s what we seek and try and hold on to in vain day after day. And yet it’s empty, inconsistent and fleeting. You Brooke, have exposed this.
‘Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.’
Joy is so rich, steady and absolute. I love this blog Brooke and the gorgeous image of joy.
The whole positive psychology ‘industry’ is based on ‘getting’ happy. I pursued this for a little while, as it is regularly referred to as ‘the pursuit of happiness’, but found it to be unsustainable and high effort as it was always based on a doing or attaining of something to be able to achieve a state of happiness. If I didn’t feel like I’d ‘attained’ the thing I was seeking, I felt like I had let myself down for not having tried hard enough, or not being focused and dedicated enough. However, since attending workshops and presentations with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I’ve been able to reconnect with the natural joy that resides within me. The more I allow myself to feel and express joy and allow it to pour out of me, naturally so, there is a steadiness and confidence that continues to grow.
Your comment really highlights how the happiness is a pursuit, not an innate quality of self, Stevie. I love how you expose how, if you didnt achieve it, it was your fault for not being enough – enough dedication, enough trying, enough focus. That, for me, shows how we blame ourselves for not being something that is OUTSIDE of ourselves! How crazy is that?
When all we have to do is to BE ourselves and we are joy.
Happiness or Joy? Joy or happiness? Is there really a decision to make here? It seems very clear and simple to me which is the natural choice.
This is an amazing blog Brooke and such a great sharing of the trick of happiness being sought outside of ourselves constantly. I love the description in the comments that what if joy was a choice of way of living, and simply being in true joy was being in loving connection with ourselves, our innermost, and that is everything. Thank you for your beautiful sharing.
Love, love , love this blog about yet another unobtainable ideal that has been running my show (and pretty much everyone else’s) for so long that it actually tricks us into thinking its real.
It like the ad for the car, you know the ones….long winding roads through extraordinary countryside….driving too fast……beautiful people with impossibly white smiles….ah yes the perfect picture of happiness to be purchased. The reality…20km/hour crawls to work, parking fines and road rage. No so many smiles. That to me is happiness. A total illusion.
But joy. Ah, that is something else altogether. It is intimate with self. Deep but never withdrawn and it is solid as the earth and the Ages. No impossibly white smiles, but a special shine in the eyes that are deep with knowing and connect to something that can never be bought.
Rachel you had me totally on the beautiful winding road through the countryside in my shiny new car. Wow it shows up totally how invested I am still in pursuing happiness in things and states outside of myself.
I could feel the imposition that the question “are you happy?” places on a person. It almost feels like the Stepford wives story, where everything appears to be perfect but is false and controlled underneath. I have always had a similar reaction to the word nice. I think I could feel the falseness of it and the manipulation of others by the niceness.
Yes, you are correct, Fiona, there IS an imposition in that question, “Are you happy?” There is an undertone of, “Why not? What’s wrong with you if you are not happy?”
I know that when I make choices that are not loving for me I feel far from joyful because I don’t feel good about myself at all. However, all it takes is for me to make a few loving choices and I feel so much lighter and more joyful. It really is quite simple.
Happiness is the brass ring we continue to attempt to grab on the merry-go-round of life. Joy is the horse we are riding… we may go up and down but it is always there with us.
This is a great expose on something that probably every person in the world considers throughout their life – am I happy? It has always felt like something to be attained outside of ourselves which is a very clever trick – always taking us away from our innate inner knowing. Joy is a livingness, as you said, something that you feel from within and it emanates through us when we let go of ideals and beliefs of how life should be. Joy is an expression, a lively way to live and something that is gorgeously shared between people when the emanation meets as one.
Jo I love how you describe the joy that is ignited when two people living from their inner hearts express and meet as one.
Yes, it is the presentation of “…a way of life that is so simple – yet so grand” that inspires so many to make such positive changes in their lives. Beautiful how you share your search outside of yourself for the illusive happiness Brooke when joy was always within you just waiting for you to re-connect to it. It is that constant striving, searching and seeking for something outside of ourselves that takes us completely away from our inner life and who we truly are.
Yes Elizabeth, where happiness is something that comes and goes, triggered most often by outside events, joy is all-encompassing and based on Truth first and foremost. It comes from within the body and it can’t be there if we d not feel harmony and love as well. It is a ‘measure’ of these other qualities being present. So when say for example, we do not feel harmony, it’s in stark contrast to the joy we would normally feel, and that’s a reference point for us to clock that something is not quite right that we can then address. As harmony returns the joy returns as well, stronger, deeper than before because more love and harmony is claimed as the truth and of course more joy. 🙂
Brooke, I loved what you wrote about the joy in your life that is n your body being with you during your sleep and in the day. I can so relate. It is the most beautiful feeling to go to bed at night feeling complete, feeling full and lying with yourself feeling that joy. And then in the morning in the stillness of the early hours feeling this joy powerfully steady and still right through your whole body. What an amazing way to start our day, every single day. This is the power of the Way of the Livingness.
Brooke, a post brimming with the joy that you describe. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing your story Brooke.
It’s true how so many ” Ideas” of what should make us happy really only ever deliver to us the need for more ideas to make us happy. Never really filling the hole. Do we really live with a deep knowing of joy and love in our every day?
Awesome Blog.
Thanks!
I agree to seek happiness is misleading and elusive, it is ‘fleeting’, but joy however is something utterly foundational and it feels amazing.
Samantha I would add to what you have said by saying that the attaining of happiness is even more misleading that the chasing of it. I felt happy for most of my adult life and looking back now know that this was incredibly misleading as it caused me to believe that I was where I wanted to be.
This is a brilliant exposure of the truth about happiness – I felt the heaviness and imposition of expectation in the question you explored ‘Are you happy?’ as so many of us scrabble to hold on to the fleeting transient moments as happy passes through.
Joy on the other hand is a whole new ball game. ‘It is there when I am sleeping and it is there when I wake’ and calls me to take responsibility and loving care of myself so that I can live and express it – amazing. Thank you, Brooke.
Even when you say the word “Happy,” it feels fleeting but when you say “Joy,” it feels constant and really opens up.
I could always feel that the attainment of happiness was an empty pursuit, because it was not sustainable, always needing another fill. So it felt like happiness was a mask that i needed to wear to not only satisfy others but myself, that facade was true. But it was not, and I knew it. But still I would go on with my ‘accepted’ view and pursuit of happiness, because what else was there? It was not until I met Serge Benhayon and attended Universal Medicine courses that everything fell into place. The sustained joy I live with now is miles away from the patchy happiness I engaged in before.
It is real, solid, and so very joy-full, and I don’t have to put on that happy face any more.
“I felt that I was failing at life if I wasn’t ‘happy’. I chased it – and sometimes I felt it – but I could never hang onto it” This comment you made Brooke I relate to wholeheartedly. Growing up I was always chasing happiness, always ‘trying’ to be happy and looking at everyone thinking that they were happy. I have only learnt in the last few years how much people put on masks and ‘faces’ to the world presenting one thing but really feeling so different underneath. I am starting to learn that joy comes from inside contentment and not comparing ourselves to others.
What a brilliant investigation of what has been most deemed as the number one all important place to be. Thank you Brooke for redefining ‘where it’s really at’. Joy is a stand alone, happiness is reliant and never ever lasting.
Awesome blog Brooke exposing the truth of what happiness is- something attained from outside of you, which is temporary.
Unlike true joy, only found in the stillness of who you are, forever present.
This is a great reflection on happiness Brooke. If we look at it as an emotion, it makes total sense, that it comes and goes – as emotions do. Even though it is one of those emotions we like to hang on to. However it is nothing compared to the consistent, steady feeling of connection to one’s own love and the joy that it brings.
I can’t say that I am super consistent in being connected to my own love and my essence, but I can say that I am more aware of the moments when I am not connected, not present and generally not feeling very good. The power that I have given away to make the outer world more important than who I am is slowly being claimed back. The joy is becoming more familiar now than the ups and downs of an emotionally focused life. This change is huge and it will take a gradual shift and I can already feel the how amazing it is.
A great blog Brooke – chasing the endless dream to ‘get happy’ is the most exhausting and demoralising thing going.
No sooner is it grasped at, it just fades away leaving an even deeper hole and further expectations on everything external to provide it. The cycle just perpetuates endlessly ‘happy -crash – sad and frustrated – happy – crash -sad. and disappointed or angry’.
Through making different choices in my life to come back to meeting myself on the inside and developing this relationship on an ongoing basis has built stronger foundations than I ever knew were possible. The basis of this foundation is stillness and joy. No raz-a-mataz, no great noisy party, no bells, whistles or proclamations for the world to hear – just a beautiful feeling deep in my chest, radiating throughout my whole body – as you so beautiful express Brooke –
“It fills my body with warmth and when I am connected to it I feel play-full – like I want to express all of me to the world”.
I like how you describe happiness as fleeting – it has definitely been a moveable goal post in my life unlike joy it is as pure as my first memories of joy as child it too is a constant at times I choose to disconnect from it which feels awful but I have learnt how to get back to it.
Great reflections, Brooke, – I can also relate to cringing when asked whether I am happy. The term seems so vague and elusive. It just doesn’t sit well with me.
I agree with you when it comes to Joy: “It is solid and it is constant.” And it doesn’t depend on anyone or anything outside of oneself, – it’s all about how I live in every aspect of my life. It depends on me alone. It’s my responsibility whether I want to go for happiness or Joy. Joy definitely wins.
‘Are you happy?’ has made me cringe and squirm over the years because it comes so loaded and we are meant to deliver the ‘yes’ answer, which further perpetuates the deceit and dishonesty in our interactions with the world. I can recall a sense of desperate scrabbling as I tried to find a way to answer, oscillating like a caged bird between being polite and delivering an expected response to being honest and exposing the madness.
A beautiful blog exposing happiness for what it is, something I continually chase outside of myself through things and actions, where as joy is something that comes from within me.
Simply and beautifully explained. Thank you Lorraine. One comes from within, an eternal source of Joy and the other is a continual pursuit, constantly needed to be fed.
Beautiful blog and sharing Brooke , true Joy is a constant within whereas the roller coaster and pursuit of happiness is in marked contrast of an elation and deflation from outside of us and something we are in constant pursuit of. Your sharing really makes one feel deeply within and connect to oneself. Thank you
I like your description Trisha – happiness being a marked contrast of elation and deflation – it is so true. Happiness is something that gets built up, only to have a crash when something changes or what makes us happy is no longer there. Joy on the other hand has always been there, waiting for the opportunity to express in full through a body of love.
It is curious to me that we can look at a child who is joyful but because they are not smiling we can assume they are not happy.
Brooke, I remember searching for ‘happiness’, I was sure I was missing something, as surely we could live in a constant state of happiness? Writing this now, I can feel how exhausting it would be to be happy all the time and how through connecting within, I have found a steadiness and stillness that allows space for joy which is invigorating and not in the least bit exhausting.
I may have said this already but I simply love love love this photo. It truly is joy and each time I see this photo, it makes me smile ear to ear from my inside out.
What stood out reading this as a beautiful summation of the life that brings you this joy day to day: “a way of life that is so simple – yet so grand.” This speaks volumes of the complications, dramas and heightened emotions that we experience all around us being the source of that constant up and down, in and out of happiness. But that the simplicity left beneath all of this is where the Joy resides.
Totally agree Rosanna, and something I can very much relate to. Life these days is so very simple, without the dramas and complications life used to be characterised by. There aren’t the highs and the lows, instead there is a steady constant stream of joy as Brooke describes. It is an exquisite way to live.
Yes, it is a relief to not have to be constantly searching for the next high of the ever elusive state of happiness (what a drama!), and life is indeed much simpler when we choose instead to deepen our connection to that ever present and precious quality of being inside us.
Yes Janet, life is so much simpler and more vital. I never realised how much energy the pursuit of happiness takes!
And it is a ‘pursuit’ because we can never catch up with it, we can never get there. It always needs to be topped.
Janet I would go as far to say that it is a joy to not be constantly searching… That is, I am really getting more and more aware that all we need to do to come back to joy is to stop searching and recriminating about searching or trying to be ‘enough’. It there there in our bodies and ever present as you state.
Thank you for sharing the difference you feel between joy and happiness.
I can really resonate that in happiness I feel it is a temporary peak, whilst joy is consistent, holding and a true feeling in my body based on how I am choosing to live. Because of this, joy is a consistency. It does not have peaks, it simply just is a reflection of my choices.
Happy – feels to me like the word ‘nice’ or ‘fine’ you know when sometimes when asked the question ‘How are you feeling today’? and the response is fine thank you. (reading the body language is revealing too) Basically tells you nothing of how that person is truly feeling. Now JOY on the other hand leaves no room for any doubt and is clearly felt by another on the receiving end of this expressed way of feeling coming from deep within. Thank you Brooke a great blog to return too.
You are so right Marion, when someone is in Joy there is no question, it can be felt, whether in person, on the telephone or in an email. Hence the responsibility of our energetic state of being. In reference to the words ‘nice’ and ‘fine’, the same can be said about the word ‘ok’, this word to me is used when someone does not want to go there and open up to how they truly feel when asked ‘how are you?’, it is just used to avoid expressing our true feelings, and by avoiding expressing our true feelings are we not then just choosing to make ourselves feel worse by not expressing the truth of how we feel.
Brooke you have nailed the illusive nature of happy with the tendency to actually chase it down, capture it and keep it. Nothing lives let alone flourishes in such an environment. I know I tried this thinking for most of my life. With the presentations of Universal Medicine another possibility was offered and I became honest with myself that chasing happiness was not going to fill the need that was inside. AS you share, become solid and connected inside supports a natural joy that needs nothing to evoke it. We are this naturally and this is one of the loveliest gifts to appreciate about ourselves and requires absolutely nothing from outside of ourselves and is 100% free of time, cost, energy and imposition.
I have realised that when I feel happy there is always a low that comes next. Mainly because it is a kind of exhilaration that is from outside of me but also because my soul knows that’s it not it and it brings tinges of loss as I know’s there is something so much more and authentic to be felt.
Happiness is something we always hunt, but never really catch up with for a longer time, whilst joy is just there from within – no effort needed to create it.
We will never catch up with happiness, it is always elusive because it is not our true way of being. The only effort, or should I say work, we have to put in is to re-connect to the Joy inside of us by being more love and dropping the resistance to who we truly are. I can talk from my own experience when I have dipped in and out of Joy due to my choices, the Joy is always there on the inside, it is just my way of living that fluctuates.
Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.
What a great line, emotions need something to keep them running, joy just resides simply so.
Chasing emotions will always fail as they only exist when they are being fed something, happiness, sadness, anger.
All outside effecting us. How lawful when we finally realise that we cannot sustain them, or if we try the effort to keep them going. The illusion of the quest for a happy life is very harming indeed. No-one has been able to achieve it, and by now we should realise it is not achievable. Joy is simple and can be felt gently in the body.
I always feel that we can gain so much power when we start to use word in the right way for us – to claim that intact we are not happy, but joyful and that the difference is very important to claiming how we feel.
I enjoyed reading your blog Brooke, and feel clearer on just what the difference is between Joy and happiness. When I feel into it Joy is definitely the one that has more substance to it, much deeper not sitting on the surface. I will take Joy anytime over happiness!
This story sounds so familiar to me! In past relationships I have had partners as me why I wasn’t happy to the point where I began to think there was definitely something wrong with me. The change in my life since I stopped focusing on external events to bring happiness is profound.
Yes that’s it in a nutshell Heather…when I stopped searching for happiness externally and instead connected to the joyful essence that is always within, my life changed quite dramatically. No more being at the mercy of being puppeted by external events.
Happiness’ was wearing all the hats that a man was suppose to have, to attain the elusive Happiness. I spent my life chasing the illusion. When I had gotten all the hats and ticked all the boxes there still was no real joy. I had spent all of those years looking outside of me for some that was always inside me…me. I now know what real joy and happiness is, it is not fleeting or elusive… it is just being who all naturally, really are.
I love your explanation of Joy, Brooke, Thank you. Joy definitely is infinite, whereas happiness needs a constant refill of something
Yes exactly – a constant refill – and how many times have we said and heard “..just need this then I will be happy”… . Joy needs none of that, it just is.
Brooke I love how you have exposed not feeling happy was once a criteria for considering yourself having failed in some way.
It is elusive and transient and if I judge myself for not being happy, as I have done, and use it as a criteria of success then I’m doomed to say I’ve failed. This is like saying I’m a failure for not being able to trap light in a box or for not finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As your blog attests to, letting go of the need to be constantly happy and focusing on the richness within, happiness seems no longer relevant.
“In truth, underneath it all, I felt desperately empty. I often wondered what was wrong with me and what I needed to do to fix myself.” This was something I always felt too Brooke. When ever I felt happy it never lasted and I would fall back into feeling disillusioned with life and like you go into trying to fix myself or look for distractions that would make me feel ‘happy’ again..
“Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.” So well said Brooke and a great reminder.
I can so enjoy these moments that there is nothing happening outside of myself and I just feel this intense joy. I can have it when I wake up and look forward to the day. True joy does not need anything, no stimulant or action, it is just there. It is just there for us to connect to.
When I read your blog again Brooke, I could feel how for a long time in my life I have been wanting to be happy although it never really felt true – it was just the thing you do in life, you have to want to be happy! Like you, every time the question ‘Are you happy?’ would be posed I would feel pressured of needing to be happy or otherwise there was sure something wrong with me… I further realised when reading your blog, that happiness always was in the future for me, if I would be allowed into my study I would be happy or if I would find a great husband I would be happy. My experience is that at the moment I got into my study, actually surprisingly the happiness was not magically there and there was already a new goal for happiness ready. I even felt bad because I had what I wanted and was not happy?!
To learn the difference between happiness and joy is very revealing and makes the feelings I had in my life make so much more sense. I for sure felt joyful when getting into the study and joyful in my simple everyday life without perfection.
Re-discovering the joy within started with your lovely description of the connection you were feeling with yourself at those initial Esoteric Healing sessions “a gentle loveliness… something full and real”. How gorgeous that this connection to yourself deepens and leads you to your joy you so beautifully share. I love the way Joy is reintroduced here, clearly explaining its difference from happiness – it shows there is more than we are lead to believe, that the commonly sought-after feeling of happiness is not It.
When people ask ‘are you happy?’, it often comes with an expectation that you are and when you say you are not (which is the truth in many cases) there is a reaction in them almost a startledness, ‘What!’. But if we say we are happy when we are not, are we not just keeping the lie that happiness is running?
A beautiful sharing Brooke – In your words “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me”
Gorgeous. How beautiful to feel that in another. Its that inner sparkle/light that ignites another to also shine.
Marion when I read your comment about how the qualities that live inside of us ignite others to shine, I agreed and then thought how happiness in one person often causes another to react, often in jealousy or comparison but never ignite another with the same spark.
Happiness is a wonderful thing, until something goes wrong or someone says something that will destroy that happiness.
Having joy in one’s heart cannot be destroyed, but will live on and on in one’s body.
Mike, I love what you have written here, it gives joy a solidity that is unshakeable no matter what is happening externally.
Its funny, before Universal Medicine I used to think joy was a step up from happiness and that it wasn’t something that could be sustained or obtained. Being happy was enough, and I too looked for happiness in all the usual places – that job, that house, that partner, that holiday, that wine, that club, that meal etc. Seeing as happiness seemed so illusive, and I was not very successful at holding on to it, joy them seemed totally out of my reach. It was Serge Benhayon that first presented to me that joy is our natural state. To be honest, my first thought was, are you kidding? Living a life of joy most of the time? How? I was still struggling with happiness. I have now come to realise that I can connect to a joy that lives within that is steady and always there. When I feel joy, its like my whole body is smiling, every single cell. I now know the difference between happiness and joy and I have come to live my life in a way that allows me to connect to that joy, thanks to the presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, who have reminded me of something that I had forgotten was there all along.
I agree – there is always a desire to appear happy – to seem fine. And I also have found that often when people ask you if you are happy its because they don’t think you are, which always makes me feel the need to convince them that I am fine. However, happiness is so short lived and can often leave me feeling less – like being washed up on shore after riding a wave. But joy is a constant thing that lives within us and carries us through life and is far more supportive than happiness.
Oh yes Brooke I can so relate to what you are saying. I would cringe as well not knowing what to say ! And then I went through a time when I was too embarrassed to say “I feel awesome or fantastic or wonderful” Such a simple question “How are you” could throw me completely. Isn’t it great now to be able to answer that simple question with an honest reply and not hold back, no matter how I am feeling. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Brooke for outing the emotional emptiness of happiness. We have nothing to strive for if we but stop to feel the deep joy that resides within.
I find your comment really grand Marcia – so sharp and so clear. It really got me to stop and feel: YES the joy is always within … despite any pollution we may feel in the mind and / or body. The key is in (re-)connection.
It became obvious to me some years ago that happiness was fleeting and that even when I was happy I seemed to be teetering on the edge of many other, not so welcome, emotions. It was as if, while I was happy I was calculating how long the happiness would last and what would happen next; what would replace it? And it more often than not depended on something or someone outside of me to make it happen. But like you Brooke, I have been slowly realising that happiness is actually an illusion, and as I am letting go of this illusion I am beginning to discover what joy is, and I am loving what I have discovered: “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.”; it is definitely not a fleeting moment, it is always there, waiting for us
Thank you, Brooke, for exposing the ideal of ‘happiness’ and how hard we search for it in life, rather than feeling to the joy that naturally arises when we connect to what lives inside us.
Well said Elizabeth – direct and simple, exposing happiness for the drug it is!
Happiness is a bit like climbing a mountain (and I remember this when I was climbing a mountain!) – you work hard for this ‘pinnacle’ experience, and it feels amazing when you get to the top… a bit like a high from drugs, or a sugar hit. But inevitably you have to come down, and you realise the foothills look a bit humdrum compared to your view from the top. Inevitably you start thinking about the next mountain to climb. Life lived like this is exhausting. What I find from Universal Medicine is they have helped me to focus on how I feel with each step. If I’m connected at that level, and can feel a ‘spring in my step’ then it does not matter what the location or the view!
I love what you say Simon ‘ If I’m connected at that level, and can feel a ‘spring in my step’ then it does not matter what the location or the view!’ Joy is about connection and when we are deeply connected it matters not the ‘view’.
My body came alive when I began to read about Joy. This sentence I deeply resonated with “(Joy) It fills my body with warmth and when I am connected to it I feel play-full – like I want to express all of me to the world.” It is so inspiring. Thank you Brooke for sharing your insight into the difference between happiness and joy.
‘I rarely feel that empty feeling that used to plague me – and, if I do, I know that it is because I have disconnected and all I need to do is be honest about where I’m at and reconnect.’ I love the simplicity of this – we spend so much of our lives chasing what we think will full-fill us when all we need to do is connect deeply within.
It’s easy to pretend that we are happy, and we can fool people easily by putting on a smile. But this is for the sake of other people and how they are perceiving us. Joy is a warm radiance that we can feel within. We do not need to prove anything to anyone.
It is wonderful to be able to start to distinguish between the words joy and happiness… When you start to feel the real meaning of words, one can possibly feel that happiness has an ephemeral quality, whereas surely has deeper more profound and long-lasting feeling and meaning. Universal Medicine understands this deeply and is assisting humanity to let go of the elusive search for happiness but rather with the individuals connection to themselves being nurtured, the connection with joy is started to be felt.
“In truth, underneath it all, I felt desperately empty. I often wondered what was wrong with me and what I needed to do to fix myself.” we are always desperately trying to seek happiness and move on to the next thing that we can fix or have that wil give us that happiness when we end up just feeling empty inside whereas that same feeling is not there with joy.
I totally agree Brooke I have always been a little ‘put off’ by how the word happiness is used and chasing something from ticking boxes in life. In seeking happiness there is an avoidance of feeling how we truly are. Coming to what the feeling brings and accepting ourselves just as we are, brings a totally different approach to life. I began to appreciate a deeper feeling of joy that emanates out of me rather than coming in to me, just as you say.
Brooke I can very much relate to the elusive search for happiness and elusive it is. One minute it’s there and then it goes. I studied many modalities in the hope that I could find a permanent solution to this. I even practice Laughter Yoga for a time, where I experienced moments of ‘extreme happiness’, which was even presented to us as ‘joy’, but this too was a bandaid. There was still a searching for something outside of myself. Now I know that none of this searching is true and that all that I searched in were just distractions from me feeling the endless joy that is naturally me – regardless of what is happening around me. There is no perfections in this as I still get caught up in my day. But what is solid is knowing who I am and that that does not change, it remains consistent always. It from here I have a deepening appreciation and understanding of the beauty we all come from.
I agree Jennifer that happiness is something that most of us have spent a long time searching outside of ourselves for, usually quite futilely, while joy comes as result of turning our search inward and the realisation that is was there all long, just waiting for us to connect to ourselves and from there to it, effortlessly.
Happiness is a word so commonly thrown around that I have grown up thinking that was what I needed to aspire to in life. Yet it is such a slippery, fleeting concept. Thanks Brooke, your description of the solidness of joy has re-invigorated my commitment to take my self connection to a deeper level and to re-build that solidness where joy is patiently waiting for me.
It’s amazing that the two words, happy and joy that I have never ever bothered to look up in a dictionary before because I always thought they meant the same thing are in fact are so different. In my dictionary:
Happy is an emotion, a feeling of hope or luck, an American Indian optimism for good hunting in the afterlife.
Joy from old french, joie is based on the latin gaudium, for rejoice.
I was once in pursuit of happiness Brooke, looking everywhere and feeling like I’d ‘have it’ when I got that job, ideal partner or something else that was outside of me. I did courses, bought books, did affirmations and all sorts – all to be happy but even when these things came to me…which they often did, I felt empty once the novelty of them wore off and I went looking for more. Where was this elusive happiness and how did you hang onto it? But like you, I’ve been able to connect to a feeling inside of me that is joyful and has nothing to do with what is going on outside, what I have or don’t have. It’s all about my connection to myself and how that feels.
So simple Elizabeth! How did this truth ever leave us? We have been so fooled by expectations and in disregard of our own splendour and preciousness. It’s like being in a desert looking for water when we are blind to the well right there in front of us.
I wonder if those asking the question, ‘Are you happy?’, are not really asking it more for themselves. They could say ‘Are you happy, because my happiness doesn’t really last and I’m not really sure what true happiness is?’ So perhaps our ‘cringe factor’ is that we are all checking each other out. We say a pallid ‘yes’ when asked about our happiness but we can feel that it is not the truth. You have exposed another lie Brooke. There is so much pretence and it is so exhausting. Stopping to arrest the lie is what you have done here Brooke. Learning to go deeper to feel the truth of who we are allows the Joy that is already there within, to be revealed – no seeking necessary! Thank you for inviting me to connect with this truth again Brooke.
Reading all the comments posted to Brooke Taylor’s Blog has really confirmed just how powerful it is when our body is filled with joy that is lived 24/7 – Being Joy makes us complete. I have just listened to Serge Benhayon’s audio and feel his description of Joy is the ultimate expression of understanding what/where/how/when of JOY. See more at: http://www.unimedliving.com/voice/whats-on-in-the-world/international-day-of-happiness-2015.html
For me, joy is when there is harmony, either between people or in nature. And when I experience this joy it is a silent feeling I have in my body, it becomes a state of being that is complete. And, as I learn more and more, I learn that joy is something I can bring with me everywhere I go, that I do not have to see it to feel it or to know that it is there.
Discovering the Joy that emanates from deep within my body and Inner Heart, was a revelation in understanding the difference between this steady and enduring feeling to the fleeting, elusive and ‘fly-by-night’ feeling that the world calls happiness. Once I had truly accepted, and then started appreciating, how much joy there was in my life, I could feel the power of being connected to my body and my soul. I confirm what others have expressed: Joy is who we are and happiness is something we seek outside of ourselves when we are not connected to the joy that we are. A truly profound and wise summing up of the difference between joy and happiness.
The loveliness of living a joyful life is something to be truly treasured on a daily basis.
This truly is a great summary of the difference between joy and happiness “Joy is who we are and happiness is something we seek outside of ourselves when we are not connected to the joy that we are”. It is in connecting with what is within and also recognising what is indeed in joyful in life and really appreciating that. It is so much easier at times to focus on all the ‘what is not’ going well in life, to take time to feel that joy, nominate it and it is surprising to understand what is really there to be joyful about.
I can relate to what you shared about always looking for happiness, and in all the wrong places. I can recognise that the things that I used to think would bring bring me the happiness are far from it. I am still working on the Living life with joy part.
I feel in the world currently the word happiness is used far more than joy. As you share in that people ask are you happy? .. but not joyful. It is great to put this out there so to speak and talk about it. As others have shared; happiness feels flat, unstabtainable, inconsistent and something on the outside of us whereas with joy I know that is very much a feeling that is within us and comes from within us. There is a complete difference between the two.
Great sharing Brooke. I always was a very happy person and happiness doesn’t feel like something I had to reach as it was part of my life. I felt happy with very simple aspects it was like a general contentment, but I also felt this big massive happiness with special events in my life. So there was a basic happiness and then the occasional excitement. Although happiness was how I lived, the general contentment I felt was not enough and I needed the special events to bring this excitement to my life. I felt a general boredom of life and the excitement served to bring color to it. This didn’t mean that I wasn’t happy on a simple day, but the daily happiness was maintained by the exciting events. Exciting events were mainly parties and social life, but also simple family life, basically anything that kept me busy.
What I realized through Universal Medicine was that the general contentment I felt was actually a very deep feeling of joy that didn’t need the occasional excitement, but was a beautiful feeling in itself. The more I connected with myself the more I could live the daily joy and the lesser I needed the excitement. I basically became bored of party and small talking social life and started to live joyfully every minute. Also, there isn’t anymore so much difference between social life and work life as every relationship is lived as a beautiful connection. The joy is just there no matter what happens around me.
Just had to come back to your blog and shining eyes Brooke – awesome, and the joy within shines out all over your face and I can see how you truly nailed it.
Joy is the word! I love this Brooke. Happiness feels like the short straw we accept, but know it isn’t ‘it’…just fleeting moments to lift us our of misery. However, joy… is what we all know we deserve, and so desperately seek. A joyful life is rich with who we truly are – no outer situation, circumstance or stimulation required.
For me too Kylie, is joy the word. It is the joy that emanates from within and is always there to be felt, the joy I feel when I am with myself, when I am with my wife, when I am with my family and friends, when I am shopping, when I am at my work, the joy that is continuously there and not a fleeting moment as is the case with happiness. Joy is a state of being we all have in us, but are not always aware of, the joy of living a life based on love, the love that we all originate from.
I love the simplicity of this Brooke – “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me”
I am taking this with me to bed, my body feels like it can rest deeply knowing that this is the truth. Ahhhh…..
Saying just those few simple words to myself as I read them, Sara and Brooke, immediately connected me with that feeling. It feels like all we need is a reminder to be conscious of who we are and how we feel, and the joy is there, as it has always been, but we have chosen to separate from it in search of the more transient moments of stimulation and excitement we term as being happy. Living simply and consciously buidls that connection with the foundation of joy from which we can live every day.
Beautiful Sara, when a truth is known in the body there is nothing more Joy-Full! 🙂
Love your blog Brooke, a really engaging read thank you. Happy feels like the foundation it sits upon is cracked and broken but the foundation of Joy feels steady and spacious. You can’t even say the word Joy without feeling joyful, you definitely can’t say the word Joy in anger. Much to ponder on in this brilliant expose!
Brooke you have shared so well that happiness is what we search for “thinking” we should be on a permanent high. Yet knowing full well that this can’t be sustained as there it no foundation for it to be supported with. The feeling of joy that is steady and constant comes with a deep commitment to make changes in how we live and build our bodies with loving choices.
Something you have shared nb has made me realise that searching for happiness is like searching for a drug. Something that gives us that permanent high, but also something that allows us to escape what we think is the drudgery of life. The feeling of joy is something that comes through us committing to life and living that in full and that joy is us living a very simple life and as you say ‘building our bodies with loving choices’
I remember finding it really hard to let go of all the parts of happiness that i thought belonged with Joy.
It was like a stubborn refusal to believe that joy was not the heightened state of being that I knew happiness to be.
But like a drug, with any high comes the inevitable drop back to where we were.
The joy is a consistency we find within ourselves, an appreciation for the beauty in details……. as you say Brooke “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.”
It is great what you share, there is such a big difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is a very moment to moment feeling where as joy is a constant deep connection. Understanding the difference between the two has been a great support for me. Now I am constantly working on staying connected to myself and being in the joyful state. This feeling and connection is amazing and I am able to be more playful in this connection of joy
Brooke when I was in my late teens after being at boarding school I thought I was the only person that felt that emptiness inside. Since then I’ve come to understand its actually “normal” yet so very “un-normal”. Everywhere I turned in the pursuit of happiness I came across another dead end – it was only after meeting one man that I realised what I had been searching for was already within me – the greatest gold just waiting for me.
I spent a lifetime searching for happiness and spiritual bliss which of only managed for fleeting moments. It wasn’t until I started connecting to myself and my body that I realised I was burying my hurts and pain. This reconnection has been very healing and couldn’t have done it without the care and love of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I’m reminded of the words ‘happy birthday’ and that song that’s sung on birthdays. A whole industry is founded on creating the illusion of happiness. It’s usually associated with the acquisition of things material: clothes, cars, homes, holidays, jewellery, technology, or people, finding the perfect partner to make you happy and transform your life. The term used in films and fiction: ‘living happily ever-after’ we’re never told what that means. None of the above touch the essence of true joy, which is a feeling that emanates from within, and is freely available when we connect to ourselves.
Broke what an important article this is. Rarely do we see the word joy used, yet happiness as a word is plastered over the front of most women’s magazines….another unattainable for us to look up to! Yet when I read the word joy, I can feel it from within, and it oozes out, nothing like the emptiness and shallowness I feel around the word happy. So why have we accepted this as something desirable, when in truth, it leaves us feeling empty? To have reconnected with the word joy for myself, and now have that as a word in my vocabulary, is awesome, and with it brings power and connection. Thank you for highlighting the importance and the difference between the two.
Good question, Jenny – why have we accepted happiness rather than joy in our lives? My feeling is that we avoid feeling the joy that naturally wells up inside us, because it shows us that we could be connected to this and something so very grand all of the time, and this requires us to be present and responsible with ourselves, considering what we can bring to the world.
You’ve dispelled the myth, Brooke. Happiness is not the holy grail. It’s just an illusion, the dangling of an unattainable state that serves to fuel our sense of lack and it’s only sought as a means of filling the emptiness we feel underneath it all. Joy is definitely where it’s at. I always assumed joy was something slightly holy and religious but in fact it’s that solid warmth you describe – deep, consistent and still. There’s nothing to achieve because it’s available all the time when you’re connected to your essence. The consistency it brings me far outweighs any moments of happiness.
Thanks Brooke – I can so relate to your description of your Esoteric Healing session – ‘There were no bells or whistles, just a gentle loveliness… something full and real. My body rested deeply, it was like I had fallen asleep, but I was still very much there.’. This has been my experience also, a feeling of deep rest and the warmth of reconnection.
Brooke, this is really a cracker. God knows for how many lifetimes we have chased after being happy. It is in true joy that I now meet you, no matter if there is a current emotion on the surface, no matter what’s going on in our lives, be it a vital day or a flat one, a processy day or a clear day in full power. Just a joy to meet you.
Hear! Hear! Felix, in a nutshell.
I find that it is in moments when I seek a form of happiness in my life it is usually to counteract the empty, lonely, or saddened way that I am feeling. This causes me to change my natural way of being and so I interact differently with a situation or manipulate the enviroment around me to gain a form of elated happiness only what is really going on is I am extending and placing too much energy into the moment of happiness and therefore when I come out of the moment of so called happiness the drop feeling is very real. I have found that is from having a form of constant joy with everything and by feeling the moments of emptiness and allowing them to be there rather than filling the space that I no longer have a life that is based on ups and downs.
Gosh Brooke, you’ve really made me realise why it has always been that I have cringed when people asked me if I’m happy. I find it’s also a bit of an automatic question from a lot of people like ‘how are you’. You can be talking about stuff that is going on in your life that is clearly challenging, and when people don’t want to hear about your current reality, they’ll ask, ‘But you’re happy right? You’re good?’. Happy, as an emotion really is not sustainable, and I’m also realising how much importance I have placed on this emotion and how I too have seen it as a failing of life if we are not happy. But, what if Joy was what we were actually after? Joy in simply just being who we are and offering all of that on a daily basis, there’d be no room for emotional baggage, just the simplcity of being. I feel like I am only scratching the surface of this possibility – and so far, so good.
Its great that you make the distinction between happiness & joy Brooke.
It makes much more sense to surrender and connect to the joy that naturally resides within than to be constantly chasing happiness.
Fantastic exposing on the myth of happiness. It is so very true that it is but a momentary emotion, fleeting in nature and by nature impossible to embody. What a waste of time is the focus on being happy. But joy…even on my not so good days, there is still a level of joy in me. I’m learning more and more to be joyful and the joyful quality leaves an imprint that not even a bad day can’t wipe away.
‘a way of life that is so simple – yet so grand’ this is a great description, and perhaps prescription, for a true, way of life.
Love all you’ve shared here Brooke Taylor. And I can certainly relate to the difference I now feel in my own life, as Joy has become something I consistently feel every day. To reconnect to this joy, which I feel was so deeply known and held by me when I was very little, is at once astounding, and yet so very natural.
To think of ‘happiness’ today, feels to harken me back to a time where I didn’t even think it was truly attainable. Happiness was something that always felt out of reach, in a lasting sense, as you say. And yet Joy is undeniable when I feel simply connected to me, and to live, breathe and move in this connection in my day. Were it not for Universal Medicine and the work of Serge Benhayon, I sincerely do not think I could have every rediscovered the Joy that is all of ours, so innately. What an enormous blessing we have been (re-)given… or rather, been presented with every tool we may ever need, to give back to and reclaim our Joy for ourselves.
I agree Victoria and Michelle, joy is such a natural feeling which we have naturally as children. In losing this joy during the challenges of life brought a lot of sadness in my life. Universal Medicine has hugely supported me in finding my way back to my natural state of being and to find back the joy. Happiness was something in the past what I always was looking for, It was like always looking outside where to find the best offer which could make me happy. To find back to joy feels much more still and is effortless. This is the biggest part to learn. No effort and searching needed.
This is so true Michelle, a great point, when i look at young children and babies they are naturally joyful, it is a part of them, I notice with my son that he is constantly joyful, (apart from the odd moment here and there), it is his natural way, and i would not say he is happy because that is not a constant and it is almost seems to be an elated state.
So many great responses on here! Happiness seems to only ever come from an outside source, something that is not us. And joy comes from within. This may -be (is) the key to understanding how to be joyful, be us 😀
I agree Harrison. When I look back to the happy moments, they always came from something or someone. And I found they were bittersweet, tinged with a sadness, as I could always feel they would not last.
Powerful words Harrison. You need people to make you happy on the outside but joy is what you feel within.
Ive never truly understood ‘happiness’. whenever I tried to be ‘happy’ I felt I was just putting it on and not really feeling truly full of joy. But now I understand, happiness is not it and joy is the way to go! Cause its naturally in me all the time. It remains constant, its a foundation for how I know myself in the world.
Whenever I felt ‘happy’, I always felt regret as well.
I love the way you have described joy here Brooke, especially as a warmth that is felt on going to sleep and waking up. It’s these moments, that we are ‘alone’ and with ourselves the most that we really get to reflect on how it is we actually feel. I know I have felt all manner of things going to sleep and waking up over the years. I have felt frustrated, tired, exhausted, like I’ve had enough and why can’t I just sleep more! I now know that none of these things are how my body naturally wants to be. Spending the time to connect to myself, my purpose and all other amazing beings on this planet allows me to feel this joy you speak of. It far surpasses any happiness I have ever felt, and is a steadiness I now know can be lived all the time.
Connecting to joy is the sparkle in my eyes, happiness has never brought me that. Happiness has its focus on the outside world, joy will always be there within us, we can deny it, we can walk away from it, choose to not feel it but it is always there waiting for us to connect and feel its power.
I totally get how one could feel burdened to be happy, I know I have. I agree it seems as a life long endeavour to look for something that will make you happy.
Yet I know when ever I feel really really great I’m not happy. Nothing externally could provide me with that but rather a inner joy that is confirmed because I know that that is naturally me. No external input needed.
I always used to feel I had to show to everyone that I was happy by smiling lots even when I did not actually think I was happy. I could feel the burden of expectation and it took a lot of effort to put on this facade all the time. Through attending Universal Medicine courses and learning to be gentle and loving with myself I have been able to let go this mask and I have reconnected to joy. Feeling joy is completely different – there is absolutely nothing I need to do except express what is already there inside me, waiting like a little warm spring gently bubbling.
Oh yes I have lived behind the mask of the smiling face for a large part of my life – someone once described me as the smiliest person they knew! Letting go of this mask has allowed a reconnection with the joy that was always there within but effectively masked by my repeated attempts to chase the illusion of happiness. I now have a steadiness that does not need to be confirmed by anyone else but is a wonderful foundation for me to go out into the world and express me in all my joyfulness.
I love what you point out Monica, and I agree, happiness is fleeting because it is about something out there that can come and go, while joy is a confirmation of me and that can be forever, for no reason so it is not dependant on anything that happens or does not happen, but just by feeling my essence consistently.
From your blog I get the beautiful reminder that I just need to claim it, to claim the solidness that I feel everyday, to claim the consistency of the relationship to me, and the increasing gentleness and care that I put in everything I do now. Taking stock and claiming that this morning I woke up feeling great, in myself, for no reason (although my mind tries to find a reason why), feeling joyful. Yes, I am also grateful for everything that is unfolding in me.
I have come to see happiness as an excitement, as something that is fuelled from outside of us and usually need action, mostly by others. It has none of the simplicity and stillness that i experience in joy. Boy, happiness feels like hard work with very little to show for it compared to the richness and ease of true joy!
That is a very interesting subject you raise here which many people have experienced I am sure. The forever ongoing chase for happiness. Trying to fit the picture, selling yourself, making it all about what others think, all this because you desperately want others to think you’re happy. Because when you’re not, in your mind, your failing in life. So yes, making happiness the goal in life leaves you feeling empty and inadequate most of the time. Thank you Brooke for bringing me this valuable insight.
‘Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me’. This is true and something I feel more and more, an unchanging steadiness regardless of where I am and who I’m with.
The feeling of Joy comes from self-care. As I continually refine self-care in the way that I do things, the being within celebrates with letting out a little more joy.
Thank you for sharing Brooke, great to hear how you have turned your life around. I remember a friend of mine always used to say live for the memories, ie. Do exciting things so then you can look back and say I did this and that and reminisce but I always felt that lacked purpose as why would I want to look back when I am enjoying where I am. This was only an ideal at the time but since embracing what Universal a Medicine has to offer this is now very much a reality. Why would I want to look back when I have everything with me now?!
This is a great point James, I can actually feel my body cringe when I hear people talking about memories that they have, it feels like such a back step from the way things have naturally changed since that time
Dear Brooke, what a joy reading your blog 😉
Another amazing human being confirming to me that joy is eternally inside us, and if we choose to connect to it, there is no need for the endless searching for that illusive happiness, which never lasts, and as you say, is dependant on something that happens on the outside of us. When we are living in joy it radiates out naturally for all to feel, and to me, joy is not to much a feeling, it is more a state of being, unlike the feeling of happiness which can be fleeting.
Thank you Brooke for this joy-full blog. I loved reading your bio too “always a woman” this is a beautiful commitment. It is such a support to bring the woman to every role that we have in life.
Very true Michelle, I remember feeling like a failure growing up as I did not really feel happy or if I did it was only for moments now and then, I remember wanting to be happy and going out looking for it but it never really worked. Whereas I feel joyful now much more often and I realise now that feeling joyful doesn’t have to be a big song and dance, for me I feel joyful when Im at work and I feel my gentleness and tenderness, watching my son, enjoying my family, my work, the people i’m working with, watching the sun set, holding my partners hand. Happiness always felt false and hard work to attain, whereas joy feels natural.
Wow really amazingly put together and shared. Thank You.
The chase of “happiness” was something I consistently was on but like a hamster on a wheel I would get no-where. Like you there were times I would feel “happy” but it would never last. Having also had the incredible opportunity and support of Universal Medicine for a number of years I’ve also come to understand that what I was really seeking all those years was me. A connection to me. Its very different to the feelings of happiness and elation that I used to search for – its foundational and it comes from within. It’s lovely to hear your story and reflect on this more deeply.
Joy in your words is palpable, and it evokes the joy in me. Thank you very much for sharing, Brooke.
Brooke, I love the way you’ve exposed happiness as just another emotion that comes and goes. This makes sense, yet to try hold onto it does not. When we invest in events and anything the outside world offers us to fill the void we can feel, it never lasts because it’s not coming from inside. Thank you for sharing your revelations Brooke and the true and everlasting power of Joy.
Awesome blog Brooke. This is so so true:-
“What I was able to then feel was that ‘happiness’ is as I had always felt it to be – it is but a fleeting moment. It comes and goes; it is something that we can’t hang on to. Like any other emotion, it is not solid. It is often attached to an event or a hype of some kind.”
Spot on Brooke. Happiness is just the other side of sadness, a bit like good and bad, right and wrong, war and peace – you can’t have one without the other so it can never be a constant. Joy, harmony, truth, love and stillness on the other hand are the constants that can be found within. Only requirement is a deep connection with self.
You are absolutely right, Kathleen, happiness can never be constant. ‘Happiness is just the other side of sadness’.
Happiness is what people aim for if they are feeling low or sad or life is just not feeling that great in general. Many years ago I looked for things outside of me that would make me happy but it was momentarily. But happiness is just the other end of that emotional scale whereas joy and stillness is a steady balance that is from within and once connected to then happiness is a very poor second.
Well said Johanna08.smith…and I would add that once joy is connected to, happiness just doesn’t even enter the equation because it then gets exposed for what it is…an empty pursuit outside of ourselves. And its silly really when we discover what we have been looking for has been right under our nose.
Very beautiful Brooke. I can also relate to feeling the difference between the fleeting appearance of happiness that requires constant chasing to attempt to relive it and the eternal constant presence of joy that is within, always there waiting to be celebrated whenever we choose to connect to our love. And how it is only, as you say, our disconnection to ourselves to our love within that we then search and begin the pursuit of happiness outside of ourselves to relieve or fill the emptiness we feel from our separation.
What a joy this is Brooke! What I felt while reading this, apart from feeling the joy inside of me, is that I wonder if the cringe we feel when ‘happiness’ or ‘are you happy?’ is asked is that it brings up being asked this from childhood. Could it be that the joy we felt as children was squashed and condensed into the ‘happiness’ box when we are asked are we happy.
I know myself with my children when they were young, and I still fall for it sometimes, was gauging if they were happy or sad. Now I see how much emphasis there is on finding happiness in society, and how there is very much an up and down momentum with it instead of the steadiness and ever full feeling of joy.
Yes that line : “but, are you happy?” so often spoken (and usually with disbelief) and so often answered retorting in defence by the ‘happy person’. Happiness does indeed have an insatiable quality to it, to leave us chasing the dream further into the future, or hanging on to the past in nostalgia, whereas JOY feels very real, very in the moment walking with us, not a step behind or ahead. JOY is a lifelong loving partner, whereas happiness the invincible rogue that ricochets in emptiness.
It’s funny when you actually say both words “happy,” and “joy,” they have a different quality about them. Happy feels very short and not as well rounded. Joy flows nicely off the tongue and has a lot more fullness to it.
A great blog. To me ‘happy’ seems superficial it indicates something outside of ourselves that puts us into that state. From what you share you felt far more precious and connected than ‘happy’.
Brooke that was a joy to read, and I can honestly say I felt joyful by the end to have had the realization that I too am joyful. Your blog to me had a surprise element, I had never conceded the difference between joy and happiness. To my surprise they feel completely different, joy is so full and happiness is so fleeting.
I love what you share, Brooke. The pursuit of happiness just leads us further away from ourselves. That fleeting moment of emotion doesn’t come anywhere close to eternal joy. It keeps us constantly searching for more, yet we already have it all inside.
Hello Brooke Taylor and for me this is ground breaking, “What I was able to then feel was that ‘happiness’ is as I had always felt it to be – it is but a fleeting moment. It comes and goes; it is something that we can’t hang on to. Like any other emotion, it is not solid. It is often attached to an event or a hype of some kind.” So if we keep searching for happiness we can find it but never hold it, that feels absolutely true to me. So where do we find the a ‘true’ happiness, if it is not in happiness and if I can quote you again “,Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.” Joy is where it’s at. Thank you Brooke for not only exposing something for us but also leading us to ‘Joy.’
The search for happiness keeps me separate from others, seeking my own pleasure or gratification in disregard of others.
The joy that emerges, emmanates from my connection to myself therefore includes everyone around me. It is the awareness that comes from this connection that lets me feel everything, which is oh so scary and yet, oh so very beautiful, real and solid.
‘Happy’ feels like a very complicated word to me. I’m even finding it hard to write about. It almost feels like it doesn’t come from me naturally so I have to try and construct it for me to have it. Where as joy is about me, already a part of me, and I don’t need to go out and work to get it.
Thank you Brooke it is great to out the word Happy’ as something that is elusive and we are always trying to chase. I used to be apprehensive if I was happy because I knew it came with a down side and it was only a matter of time before the lows would appear..so I dumbed down happiness thinking it would soften the landing…it never did!
Joy is completely different, and while joy is not my permanent way of being I no longer have the elation and excitement that accompanies happiness and a feeling of depression that comes with being unhappy. Joy for me is a constant and consistent feeling that has an internal warmth with no highs and lows and a contentment within myself that needs no outer stimulation.
I love this sentence from your blog Brooke. “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me. It is there when I am sleeping and it is there when I wake. It is solid and it is constant.” Joy is the radiance that comes from connecting to and living from the love that resides within us, unlike happiness it is a constant, and relies on nothing from outside ourselves, it begins with getting to know who we truly are. Within us all is a deep love and joy, and once connected to naturally and beautifully expresses through us in all that we do.
I’ve recently felt for myself that joy can be in everything as it is a quality of who we are, an acceptance of our awareness and in living with a sense of knowingness. This has meant that joy can be found in the simplest of moments but also in the times where we might have once thought we ‘couldn’t be happy’. When someone I knew passed away recently I felt an immense sense of joy in my body and this did not take away from the depth of compassion, understanding and love that I held all of those who felt affected and saddened. Now I would never have normally felt to say that I was ‘happy’ when someone had died and yet to feel joy comes with a full honouring and respect of myself and all others and the joyous process of living, healing and reincarnating that is here to experience.
To fully appreciate such a moment such as a loved one dying it only seems natural to be able to celebrate them for who they truly were and feel the sadness and grief of their loss from our lives.
And with this Cherise there is no attachment or investment in what ‘should’ be felt. Very beautiful sharing. Thank you.
That’s a very different way to see death and exposes how I have always fallen for the emotional sadness. But introducing the concept of joy, of not being attached but being able to observe the process.. whether it is from a life that was well lived, or the final release from a painful illness. Yes I could experience joy from that.
Thank you Brooke for explaining the difference between joy and happiness. There is so much pressure placed on us by society for us to be happy which possibly contributes to our unwillingness to feel how we’re truly feeling and why we then choose to boost ourselves with caffeine, sugar, etc. to keep ourselves up so that we can all pretend that we’re ok.
Great blog Brooke, I love how you have explained the difference between Joy and happiness. To me Happiness is like a roller coaster of ups and with that comes the downs…. yet joy is a steady feeling that can stay with you even when life presents the not so amazing moments.
A friend and I recently unveiled the pictures that we too have held of what joy looks like, an elation or excitement that we may have thought needed to be there all the time and if it wasn’t .. was there something wrong with us? This picture kept us capped in thinking what joy should be as opposed to feeling it and knowing that joy comes with love and truth.
I myself have felt joy in some of the most exposing and raw moments of my life and also within times of illness and disease (to me that’s what the whole nursing and medical profession has the potential to be founded on) and yet a picture of joy being a happiness or an outward smile wouldn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the depth that joy actually is.
“With deep appreciation to Sara Harris, Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting a way of life that is so simple – yet so grand.” My feelings exactly Brooke, thank you for such a truly joyful blog! It is a grand day indeed when someone realises they have relinquished the drive to happy because their way of live and daily choices are building a true platform of joy that demands nothing to keep it buoyant and alive, other than an ever deepening self care and appreciation. And yes I agree, we do ask the wrong question and for the wrong reason, happiness is not something to pursue because it keeps us on a never-ending hamster wheel, running ourselves ragged for the unattainable. When we truly understand the meaning and feeling of joy, we give ourselves the opportunity to build it within ourselves and then it can never be lost.
Brooke, you’ve hit the nail on the head! and exposed one of the greatest falsities of life. You have supported me to cement further the fact that I too know joy and I know it consistently when I choose to just be me.
I agree Cherise. It is as simple as choosing to be me consistently.
Wonderful blog Brooke. Thank you. I have always felt that happiness was flimsy and unsubstantial , a fleeting shallowness that was never quite it. As you beautifully describe ‘. But it was neither solid nor constant and when it was time to be on my own, I felt flat, bored, empty – anything but happy’ The fullness and richness of joy on the other hand and how you describe it, is part of who we are. A feeling that is connected to naturally when we truly appreciate ourselves and the world around us. Thank you for beautifully exposing the difference.
Happiness to me feels like a brave mask that is worn to cope with all the other parts of life that have not been addressed that need to be. For me it’s the ideal that all the boxes have been ticked, that what we demand of ourselves or from life has been met, but it can only be temporary because the truth of how we really feel must be addressed. Once the boxes have been ticked, the temporary band aid has been placed on all the feelings we have ignored, happiness arises, we think we’ve made it, and crash – it’s gone again. I agree Brooke, Joy is the true way to consistently feel great because it lives inside us, it’s part of who we are, happiness comes from rearranging life to look a certain way, to help us to cope. Happiness is meeting the brief, Joy is meeting the self.
Yes I completely agree. Happy is the other side of unhappy – an emotional pendulum. If it is an emotion it is not nourishing and does not last. I don’t like the elation of happiness at all. Joy on the other hand can be permanent and is a quality of the Soul. Joy is something I have discovered within myself and in my connection with others since coming across Universal Medicine. There are some great free audios and quotes about JOY here: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-joy.html
Happiness seems to be very superficial and in fact for some people showing happiness with a smile or a laugh is just a mask as what is being felt on the inside is different. It is like society has put this pressure on us that we must show that we are happy then we are successful in life.
Love it Brooke – JOY is definitely where it’s at. My experience of JOY is that of this very warm and stilling quality inside, but when it’s expressed – LOOK OUT – my whole body lights up and even my voice changes and sounds lighter.
I was touched by the way you wrote how happiness so often feels ‘out of reach’ Brooke. It sums up the difference beautifully. Happiness has a physical effect on me – like I am hunting or chasing something, quite literally. Joy on the other hand as you say, can live in every thing we do when it intimately underlies and flows through you. What a big trick that we think we ever have to strive or struggle for something that is naturally there. It makes me wonder instead of seeking something at all, what if joy is simply a way of life we choose?
Loved reading your article Brooke on happiness versus Joy-fullness. There is a whole package to be had if we connect to the body and the deeper part of ourselves. Through my experience when I have felt joyful I also have felt the stillness, Love and harmony from within. There is nothing like it when you connect and feel the grandness of you. It is like happiness takes a back sit or disappears into thin air when this grandness is felt.
Happiness is also fleeting and insubstantial because it requires a comparison while joy just ‘is’ – “Joy needs nothing to evoke it”.
Thank you Brooke for sharing your experiences in this blog.
The difference between joy and happiness indeed is striking – interesting that I never really considered this to this depth before. Will have to ponder this and get back to your blog later.
To me happiness is ever changing, coming and going in a way that has me feeling up and therefore a little down. Joy however feels very even and solid. There is no up or down just a steadiness and fullness, a constant in my body.
Very true Penny, joy is a constant in our body. Joy to me very much feels like love, and love feels like joy, the two are intertwined. The more joy I feel the more loving I am, so it makes sense to live life with joy and make it a consistent commitment to connect to joy and solidify it even further in my body.
Hmmm, lots to ponder here Brooke in your great article. It has led me to realise that I spent a good part of my life vaguely, and sometimes definitely, unhappy. I constantly looked for things out there to make me happy, but anything that made me happy only briefly blotted out the unhappy. Addressing the root cause of my ‘unhappiness’ through the support of Serge Benhayon and the practitioners and students of Universal Medicine (all totally inspiring) has led me to feel and see in my own body how, in connecting to my own inner stillness, joy naturally can be found and built upon to be a steady and consistent part of the way I live. I see this now in the so many others who continue to inspire me to go even deeper. Joy, stillness, harmony, love equally available to all, all of the time.
‘Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.’ This I feel too Brooke. It is inside us all even though we might not always feel it.
We are sold happiness everywhere we go. Those pictures of ‘happy people’ in an advertisement with the perfect skin, bright white teeth and sparkling eyes, often looking like they are having an amazing time. What these images don’t say is that happiness constantly requires something outside of us to take us away from how we are feeling inside.
This is a great point Vicky, “happiness constantly requires something outside of us to take us away from how we are feeling inside’ – there is no acceptance or appreciation or confirmation that we are enough as we are – that we already hold within us a well of love and harmony and stillness and joy to be expressed.
Vicky that is great what you share here. What I like to add is that in truth it is also hard work to fit in this “perfect happy world” and that is really not a funny way to life. It is much easier and also joyfuller to stay inside as you so clearly and beautiful recommended.
This is gorgeous Brooke. I’m sure many can relate to the transient-ness of happiness and how it is dependent on something outside of us bringing it to us. Joy on the other hand – well joy I am just starting to learn about. The thing that surprises me most is that joy isn’t an elavation of any kind – as you describe, it is constant and steady and deeply confirming. It depends on me choosing to stay connected to myself but if I do, it is always there – part of my essence and not something to be attained.
Brooke I can feel the joy in your blog its light and expansive. Happiness is a see saw up one minute down the next. Love the blog.
‘I chased it – and sometimes I felt it – but I could never hang onto it’ – This is a great way of describing the relationship we have with happiness… I can definitely relate to the feel of trying to grasp happiness but never quite having it steady in my hands, because what I considered to be happiness was always to do with other people and outside sources.. I could be ‘happy’ when I was spending time with a group of friends, I could be ‘happy’ when I was on holiday somewhere nice, I could be ‘happy’ when I got a good result on a test… But when I was alone, in my own home – that happiness was missing. I now understand that JOY is a feeling that can be there all the time – because it first comes from a relationship with me and can then be expressed with others.
Brooke. Having joy and happiness in your heart, you are on the way to to fulfilment within.
What joy to read this Brooke and to see so clearly spelt out what happiness really is. Living my life with the joy I feel within has been a game changer for me, as you say “a way of life that is so simple – yet so grand.” Yes it’s so very grand indeed. Thank you.
I agree. It has been a game changer and something I did not know was possible even though I always knew something wasn’t completely true in the way I use to feel in life.
Great blog Brooke thank you for sharing. Beautiful realization that actually to search for permanent happiness will never work no matter how hard we try looking for it. And the key is to discover the joy within yourself which is waiting to be expressed.
Exactly, and who wants a feeling that is momentary when there is a fullness to be known and lived within every moment of life?!
The body does not naturally seek happiness for it is in truth another version of sadness or anger or any emotion really, all from the same energy that is not Love. Joy on the other hand is something the body pulls towards and does not shy back from embracing as it is naturally from us being the Love we truly are that we feel true Joy.
Beautifully expressed Joshua.
I love the part about joy living inside of us always being there, there is no ups and downs just steadiness and flow.
What a great blog! Thank you for this Brooke. The emphemeral happiness that we have created as the end all and be all of life has been beautifully blown apart by this article. Your description of joy is so spot on as well. It has a solidness that allows for us to be happy one day and not happy the next. Joy is a confirmation of who we are, through and through.
You have taken the words right out of my mouth Brooke! Happiness is fleeting, joy is solid and warming. Love this blog. Thank you!
Such a great article Brooke, everyone is striving to be happy, so it’s no trick that we have been led to think that being happy is what life is all about. Because if we made life all about Joy we would be on a sure different planet.
In reading this I can feel a much greater wish to be steady than to be happy. Happiness doesn’t feel that stable as it comes and goes and what I recognise as important more than ever now is to have a consistency, not happiness which from my experience always fluctuates and leaves us emotionally imbalanced.
Brooke what you have presented here is so beautiful. What a difference between the two words – it’s like night and day. One being an emotion and fleeting while the other has not an ounce of emotion and is deeply part of our Soul. I could really relate to being playful, connecting with nature and feeling completely full of myself when being joyful. It’s my favourite feeling in the whole world!
Thank you Brooke for bursting the happiness bubble. In our society where most of us have a basic form of security in our life, as in food, warmth, health care etc. the next thing to achieve is Happiness. As you say Brooke it is a big chase of something outside of us, something we can’t quite get and certainly cannot hold onto. Some may feel they have it when in a constant roller coaster of distraction but even they will experience the moments of emptiness in between.
I have found that what we are really looking for in that big chase is ourselves, something to fill the emptiness in a lasting way and the only way we can do that is from the inside out.
Yes happiness is fleeting and needs to be constant stimulation, yet joy is like a radiance that comes from within!
Reading the word ‘happiness’ it feels flat, whereas reading the word ‘Joy’ it feels alive, it feels round and full of life.
Things bring you happiness, Joy is felt and lived.
For me Joy is a confirmation of absolutely everything that I am. You know when you feel something or know something to be true, and it is confirmed right back to you = Joy. It might be the beauty and magic in nature or it might be a feeling you have, a this is me, this is who I am, this is where we all come from, this is love, the truth, harmony, an openness, and honesty, how a relationship, friendship, conversation is meant to be, whatever it is when I feel Joy I know it’s a confirmation, it’s true -it’s who I naturally am and how life can be.
Gyl, your understanding and lived experience of Joy is deeply felt and expressed in your writing. I feel it coming from you and the inspiration that that too is me! ‘….it’s who I naturally am and how life can be’.
I love this too Rachael and Gyl- “…it’s who I naturally am and how life can be’.” Best way of expressing this.
I love what you have shared Gyl and how you have shared it. I can feel a deep inner smile as I read it and a recognition that what you are expressing is me too.
I absolutely loved your sharing Brooke and a great word to bring some truer meaning to, as we do as a society place the word happy right up there as a great achievement. Having experienced both over the years, nothing lifts you up naturally or makes you feel fully alive like a great dose of joy to confirm you.
I agree – happiness pales into insignificance when compared to joy, they are worlds apart. Happiness is an emotion triggered by something on the outside, joy comes from within and has no external conditions, just a solid and amazing connectedness to my essence.
Well said Gabriele that is exactly it – they are indeed worlds apart. Happiness has that excited racy feeling like when you have eaten sugar or coffee and does not feel good at all in my body. Joy on the other hand is the magical expression of stillness in motion. It is a quality of the Soul and does not have one ounce of emotion in it. Chasing happiness keeps us away from connecting to the Joy we all naturally are at essence – permanently within, ready to be connected to.
I remember the very first time in my adult life, ( as when I was a little girl I was Joy and still am, but I didn’t need to think about it, it was me) that I felt true real joy again. Whilst attending a Universal Medicine event, I had gone for a walk, and on the way back I literally was stopped in my tracks. The words that I said were “Oh My God, I can feel JOY in my feet.” This was the first time I experienced, really experienced and felt in my body JOY. I now know I am joy and joy is me. I feel joy when I open my eyes, joy at being me, at seeing bird, a smile, when I walk, snuggle up in bed, cook or drive, joy at watching child, typing, working, talking with somebody …. Joy in being me. The truth is I would have never have felt this joy as consistently ( and I know there is WAY more to go to) and freedom again had I not met Serge Benhayon and the Ageless Wisdom Teachings.
Thanks Brooke, an awesome account on the difference between happiness and joy. As you have shared, I find happiness is just not it. I used to think that it was all about obtaining happiness, but it is really a false goal, because if I am happy, I am also going to be sad. We ride the roller coaster of these emotions and sometimes they are high and sometimes low. Joy on the other hand is something that comes from deep inside, it comes from our connection with ourselves and deepens with own connection. It isn’t reliant on anything outside of ourselves and can be accessed at anytime when we remember and live who we truly are.
Joyful sharing Brooke. Thank you to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for inspiring me to know what it is to be in the natural joy of being me.
Yes, Marcia I also feel to deeply thank Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, for it is only through their love, support and inspiration that I also have come to know and be in the natural joy that is me.
Brooke you speak truth. Happiness is pursued endlessly as a goal, a desired place that you will get to and then live happily ever after… but apart from fleeting moments it does not sustain itself. I too have found there is a delicious feeling of joy when I am at one with myself, deeply connected to the well-spring of love, and joy that is within me if I but take the time to be with it.
I can confirm with my whole body JOY is DEFINITELY where it is at! happiness isn’t even a grain of sand once you have felt and lived joy. Simple as that.
Absolutely Gyl, joy is expansive, warm, fuzzy, loving, playful and all encompassing. Doesn’t even come close to happiness.
So true Gyl, once you discover JOY, happiness is exposed for the fake cousin that it is.
The more I live with joy the less I am swayed or framed by emotions.
I was just reading an article about how there was a drug shortage at a recent music festival and then everyone was like, this is crap, the music isn’t that good, I’m covered in mud, its cold etc. The people said they would prefer to be at home in bed. This kind of shows perspective- when they were on something they would have said they were happy and loving the event, but it was still the same event when they had come down. It shows how the ‘happiness’ isn’t the true state because the situation hadn’t changed, they needed a stimulant to get to that. It wasn’t a feeling from inside that remained solid.
This is a great example Kristy of happiness being an end result of something given outside of ourselves, the complete opposite of the natural and full joy that already lives within our bodies. It is also significant to the fact that so many people are searching for happiness and have switched off their awareness to the fact that it is under their own noses the whole time.
This is gold Kristy. The good time is the party each individual is having in their own head totally reliant on medication. This could be said about all social occasions that require a medicating substance be it – alcohol, drugs, food or sugar – as all are the creators of the illusive happiness that simply gives you a momentary ‘up’ to be closely followed by a ‘down’ as this is the way happiness rolls.
What a great example Kristy. Take away all the alcohol, drugs, parties, festivities, movies etc of the world and we would truly get to see our reliance on external things and events that we use to make us feel happy. But why do we reach for these in the first place? It is because we have disconnected from our essence, where true joy lies. As beautifully described in this article, joy is always there and is not reliant on anything outside of ourselves. It is a beauty that comes from within and far exceeds anything that happiness can offer.
Thanks Brooke – JOY in my heart is when it is expansive and i can feel it beating – Happiness is the illusion that is pretending.
Happiness seems to need to be created. It requires effort to ‘try to stay happy’. It seems to be asking something of me, if I’m happy I need to show it, to display it, I need to smile or act in a physical way that indicates it. I feel a response is called for because the happiness came from somewhere else, not me. Joy on the other hand comes from within me and asks nothing more of me than to connect to it, to feel it, to allow its presence to be, to naturally grow, no effort, nothing to do, just be me, Joy-fully.
“What I was able to then feel was that ‘happiness’ is as I had always felt it to be – it is but a fleeting moment. It comes and goes; it is something that we can’t hang on to. Like any other emotion, it is not solid. It is often attached to an event or a hype of some kind.” That feels so true to me. It seems to me that it is a long while since I ever gave much credence to the word ‘happiness’. I feel that I have known for a very long time that happiness never does last, gives me a high for a short time, but something always occurred to completely disperse that feeling. I now realise that it is an ideal that we keep pursuing, thinking that it is lasting, but ideals are not true. When I met Serge Benhayon and attended Universal Medicine presentations and workshops, and also had esoteric healing sessions and other modalities through the practitioners working for Universal Medicine, I found profound changes developing within me and I came to feel that which you have described as joy. That joy is always there within me now, so long as I am connected to who I truly am. It is such a calm, steady, beautiful feeling, no enormous high that disappears, it is truly beautiful to live with that. When I am feeling that joy, I feel amazing, and it doesn’t just disappear, unless I disconnect from myself.
Awesome Brook. This is one joy-full blog filled full of delight and I love it! Thank you for so clearly showing us the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is really the danglingly carrot, fleeting and never sustainable, joy on the other hand as you say is constant and always there just waiting to be tapped into.
Agreed Samantha, happiness as being the big yard stick, the thing we should all seek and have was a big fat lie that we were told and believed. It kept us searching and and dissatisfied. It stopped us from noticing just what we did have. No more.
PS: Speaking off photos, I know this gorgeous woman on this photo and she is an example of pure joy, wow, the whole room here gets filled with joy just looking at this photo.
Mariette I can feel the joy flowing out of the gorgeous women in that photo. She diffidently tells the story of how joy feels. Amazingly beauty-full and full of joy.
I so agree Mariette – the whole page here also fills with it and it emanates out, doesn’t it?
Happiness is also a word that has never truly resonated with me, but yet there is this pursuit of happiness that is deeply ingrained in society. We carry this need to be happy all the time, holidays have to be great, parties have to be fun, our evenings together have to be happy and on all photo’s we need to have a big smile on our face. But what about being real, like you say, feeling, the good, the bad and the ugly and truly feel in every moment what there is to feel? Then life becomes very simple, without this pressure of needing it to be any different and striving for outside experiences that give us a short moment of happiness, that never lasts…
There can be a lot of trying and striving to be happy and it is neatly packaged and marketed to us in many ways, it assumes we don’t already have the true quality of joy and harmony within us. Having an honouring relationship with myself is what brings a sustaining joyful way of being that naturally flows from my connection to inner stillness that is always there.
I can definitely identify with searching for happiness that’s for sure but thus far it has eluded me! It’s like all the things I “need” to make me happy are spinning plates and for the fleeting moment that they are all spinning and not crashing down, I’m happy. So I relax for a brief moment, take my eye off the ball and low and behold all my plates come crashing down around me and my happiness is not only gone but it going to take a lot of effort to get my plates up there spinning again!” I am very familiar with this concept and agree that happiness is not it!! I can also resonate with the solid consistent yummy feeling you get when in the loving care of an esoteric practitioner during a session…. Currently, adapting the way I live to enable me to connect to that feeling (after all it comes from inside me, it’s not given to me by my practitioner!) whenever I remember/choose to because slowly I’m realising I can actually do that and that is amazing really.
Brooke, awesome! Really loved reading this. I haven’t thought about happiness like that before. But I can really understand that happiness is brought forth by something and you have to reach outside of yourself for something to bring you it – ‘it Is but a fleeting moment. It comes and goes; it is something that we can’t hang on to.’ Then when you explained joy it felt so much more real and attainable. Like it is already there waiting for you to discover and express it.
Brooke such an interesting topic. For me the really interesting thing about myself is that I actually have been what I would say is happy for most of my adult life but that happiness was dependent on me doing certain things like strenuous exercise and partying. Had I not kept those things going then the happiness would have faded, fast. Happiness is a very tenuous emotion and is dependent on things outside of us to keep it going.
There is a great pressure to be or at least look happy in the world. I remember being irritated for years by people telling me to smile, as if breaking into a smile for no real reason would relieve something for them. Is it because we need the illusion of happiness to be OK in life?
This is interesting to be told to smile and show your happiness. Where I work I have known counsellors to tell mothers that are depressed to smile and show happiness towards there babies even though they are not feeling to do this. This is such an imposition for these mothers and no benefit in the true sense for the baby.
I like the way you describe happiness as a fleeting thing Brooke – I experience it as this too. Joy however is the quiet feeling that emanates from within, more like contentment perhaps, but bigger. Happiness you chase, joy you develop.
‘Joy however is the quiet feeling that emanates from within’ beautifully expressed Victoria. Recently when out with friends shopping, I really didn’t want to buy anything, there was no neediness. I felt everything I needed was already within, contentment as you said.
This is beautiful Brooke – “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.” I also feel this within me, and the difference between joy and happiness is so clearly felt.
The word ‘Happiness’ evokes a feeling of need and something outside of us that we attain whereas ‘Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me’. Before Universal Medicine I was seeking for happiness – and never found anything that would sustain me – and then as I began to open to what I heard I began to feel the joy welling up from within a place that is infinite. When I connect to my inner heart it feels like a coming home.
I’m feeling the joy whilst writing this comment. You have really nailed the happiness thing Taylor. Looking back on my life I can see that all the moments of happiness came and went , had fun then didn’t, but you are so right, joy comes from a totally different place and it is a keeper if we choose it.
Beautiful Brooke, what a great sharing , understanding and reality you bring to happiness and joy that are streaks apart. Joy comes from ones solid connection within innately there, soulful and beautiful as you describe and is a constant. Happiness on the other hand is something to be attained and searched for from outside and is intermittent and not sustainable constantly and is often settled for as everything, whereas there is so much more. It feels so amazing to know a consistency inside that just is and is always there inside to connect to instead of the roller coaster of emotions that come from the search to fill oneself and is up and down. I never realised before meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, the absolute joy and beautiful feeling that is inside myself and all of us waiting to be tapped into and lived in every moment.
I agree Brooke. Happiness is the emotion that comes and goes , but can still leave us feeling empty. Where as ” Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside me.” There is no emptiness when we feel joyfull.
Thank you for exposing the illusion of happiness Brooke – something I have kidded myself I was often over the years to avoid feeling the pain of my lack of connection. To choose to re-connect to the depth of joy within is amazing and leaves no need to chase the illusion of happiness.
I can also say that this has been my experience of happy, fleeting and attached to an action or event outside of me. And it doesn’t feel like happiness is ‘it’. I have lived most my life miserable and in reaction to chasing something I knew deep down was not what I truly want but did it anyway because everyone else was doing the same. Joy to me feels as you described it Brooke, solid and steady whereas happiness can feel flighty and can change into other emotions like the wind. What reading this blog has got me wondering about is are our conversations in life truly in the direction we feel deep down to go? By focusing on how to be happy we don’t get to what we really want – joy. It’s like the car GPS telling us where to go, ‘turn left’ and we turn right then get upset when we get lost/not where we want to be.
If I had read this at the beginning of the year I would have not really understood what you were sharing but now after doing a women’s health programme where I simply check in with my body and specific parts of my body I can absolutely say I know the steady warmth and expansion that now fills me, which I understand always was there to fill me but I hadn’t connected to it so was unaware and lost, empty. The more I connect to that feeling in my body the less I need anything, nothing holds a shine to the feeling inside.
It seems a little crazy when you put it like this Brooke that we spend so much time trying to hang on to or re-create or chase those elusive happy moments in life when happiness is not it anyway! As you say happiness is outside and joy is a constant state within which can be connected to any moment.
Wow Brooke, this is so gorgeous to read, I feel deeply inspired by your story, ‘I walk down the street feeling the gorgeousness of myself and I live knowing who I am and I aim to stay connected to that at all times.’
I love this Brooke. I can feel your joy spilling off the page.
When someone asks me about, if I am happy- it always feels superficial in a sense, if every box is ticked, that is causing happiness in a sense. Joy doesn´t come from the outside it is within me- living me is true joy and noone else needs to bring me joy. How liberating it is to live like this.
A true discovery, Brooke. The difference between happiness and joy also became clear to me a few years ago while learning with Universal Medicine. One time I experienced a situation where I was definitely not happy – lots of illness and challenges going on – but all through it I had an unassailable inner joy in being me, that no amount of ’emotional weather’ could take away.
Thanks Brooke, for the revelation on the difference between happiness and joy. I’ve never really considered the question ‘are you happy?’ in that way before and after reading this, I can say I get a similar feeling about answering, a sort of ‘No, but I should be and then everything will be alright.’
I have re-connected to a much more solid, playful, simple way of being in life and with myself since the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I feel confident, at ease, with less expectations, judgement and pressure on myself. This allows for a more constant feeling of joy, which is a world apart from fleeting happiness.
By chasing happiness we run away from the very thing that we seek – the joy that naturally resides in the heart and Soul of every human being. Thankyou Brooke for beginning to unravel this seeming conundrum by asking the question; “Is happiness really it? Is it possible that we are asking the wrong question?” For more light on the subject of happiness versus Joy, check out: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-joy.html
Good point Liane.
‘Happiness’ does include the package of ‘unhappiness’, so there is always an ‘up and down’ momentum happening, like the devastating turn of the Wheel of Fortune, and so there can be no consistency of love and joy. Who would want to be caught in this spider web, once having experienced true joy? Happiness is but a faint echo, an imitation, a cheap reproduction of joy.
“True Joy is never found in anything outside of oneself. It is a livingness which springs from a true body of Love that, when meeting the divine Essence of another, expresses outwardly in all its glory and light. It is the expression of the Love, Stillness, Truth and Harmony residing in the inner-heart of every human being, a never-ending confirmation of who we truly are.” Thank you for this link Liane, it confirms what Brooke has written, that there is a big difference between happiness and joy. Thank you for writing about your understanding of the words and their true energetic meaning Brooke.
True Liane. And I find that searching to be happy is very tiring. Whereas when I am just me I am naturally joyful and enjoy simple things in life.
We are sold ‘happiness’ at the expense of true joy, unaware that included in the package is also ‘unhappiness’. This happiness is provided as a relief for the unhappiness we feel when we disconnect from our truth, a truth that when lived brings us immense joy -a joy that cannot be paralleled by living less than the absoluteness of this.
Who reads the fine print when happiness looks so shiny and lustful?! Like you’ve said, we are sold the highs without understanding the steeping lows included in the emotional package of disconnection. A Universal expansion on our desire for happiness and where this has come from – thank you Liane.
Happiness always felt fake – like a shopsoiled good. You pay almost full price for it but it isn’t really what you want but since you think you only have enough money for the shopsoiled good, you buy it anyway.
When the truth is that we have an enormous amount of joy in us.
In former times I thought when I am happy , I am full of joy. But this did not last It is like a mood that comes and goes, often depending on what happened outside in my surrounding and my life. Joy is a different feeling. It is much more deep and still. It is like a still river flowing through my body.
Beautiful Kerstin, I agree that happiness is indeed like a mood and comes and goes due to outside circumstances, I love that ” Joy is a different feeling. It is much more deep and still. It is like a still river flowing through my body.” This feels like a deep connection to my essence within.
Well said Kerstin, that we misunderstand the difference between how joy and happiness feels in our body is making me wonder what and when else we misinterpret in what we are feeling.
You have definately nailed ‘happy’ Brooke. I too would cringe when I was asked if I was happy and you are so right when you say that ‘happy’ is fleeting. I had not felt to put it in the ’emotional bucket’ but your blog feels to be truth. Joy feels totally different: it has constancy and the consistency of love that is far from fleeting.
thanks Brooke. I too have cringed when asked if I was happy. There was something about the way it was asked that didn’t feel right. It felt as though the person was not asking “are you happy” they were actually saying “you are unhappy”. In my later years at high school I thought that happiness was where it was at and tried to lift everyone up. But the truth is this was really exhausting on me and me, the one trying to make everyone happy did not feel happy AT ALL! But like you since i have made changes in my life most notably realising I’m not responsible for everyones happiness I have begun to feel a natural joy and sparkle. I think thats why we use the word happiness so much, because naturally and as children we are all joy-full and sparkly. But somewhere along the way we leave that and become serious, and believe things have to be a certain way. Well they don’t have to be that way. We can be sparkly for our whole life! it will be there if we chose it. I know this is certainly a truth for me.
Happiness is definitely second prize. When you experience joy, happiness palls. When you experience love, happiness is the simulation of love.
A fabulous blog and sharing Brooke. I completely get it what. You say how being asked if you were happy made you cringe. It does feel false and empty. I too many years ago had a huge reaction and cringing feeling when I watched a movie called the Pursuit of Happiness. At the time I didn’t know why but I knew it disagreed with me. I felt it to be wrong that this dad was forever chased and idea, a dream, a it has to be this way then I’ll be happy. The person who I saw it with could not understand why I didn’t like it because for them, what happened in the movie was exactly what they were trying to do in life. For me it felt very untrue and wrong and I now know that this is because life is about Joy. Truth and love and us simply living who we naturally are.
I’ve been asked many times if I was ‘happy’ but always found the person asking me that question was not actually ‘happy’ themselves. Not happy with the choices they were making in their lives. Happy feels so much like its a shown expression on the outside of the body like, smile if your happy. Now ask me if I’m joyful the answer will come from a much deeper connected place within. Joy can be seen and felt through the eyes and the body – the vibration of joy is awesome. Thank you Brooke I really enjoyed your sharing – until now I’d never sat and felt into what happy means to me.
Beautifully said Brooke. I know that search for the elusive ‘happy’ that doesn’t last. Singing, or having sung to me Happy Birthday always made me cringe and I wondered why. Happy was always a doing or a having but soon lost its sparkle and I was searching for the next thing. Serge Benhayon at Universal Medicine presentations introduced me to the true meaning of joy and an inner connection to the love within me, a connection to me, to God and to the love in every other person on the planet and I knew I had come home to know true joy, a permanent feeling within me that is there whatever I do, wherever I go as long as I choose to say connected to the love that I am and feel equally in others.
Love this blog Brooke. I can totally relate happiness feels like an outer quest and is a very poor substitute for joy. Happiness to me now feels kind of hollow and transitory and has so much expectation around it and does not deliver, whereas joy is just present when I am truly with me and share this with another, I can feel it in every cell of my body as it reflects back, confirming it is a very natural way to be. Since developing a deeper connection and relationship with my body I have developed truer relationships with others.
I feel this joy equally in a quite moment or in full activity of my day. Magic.
This is beautiful Victoria. Joy is not dependant on the outer and can be there in a quiet moment or a full day of hustle and bustle 🙂
I can relate to what you say Victoria Picone, since I developed a deeper relationship with myself, I also find a deepening in my relationship with others. And that to me feels really joyful. Happiness to me feels like just scratching the surface, but joy feels deeper and all encompassing
Even just expressing it as a ‘quest’ in your first line is super exposing of how we endlessly search for something that doesn’t actually bring us any joy or rich fulfillness, Victoria. When I think of mine and others ‘search for happiness’, I image a cat chasing and trying to catch a red light someone is shining on the wall and moving around all the time. Our ‘red light’ (being happiness) just seems like a distraction from joy – something that comes from within, that we don’t need the outside world to give us.
Thank you for this blog Brooke, I so relate and love that you have written about this. I could actually never relate to the word happiness, people would ask me but I would never feel ‘happy’ and then I would be confused like there was something wrong with me as I felt good but not happy.
That joy is what I felt makes so much more sense. Joy is for me a constant feeling of deep contentment, a feeling of confirmation of that yes I am Amazing! It does not mean I am singing all day or am smiling all the time, or being excited, joy can be felt in a moment of being with myself having made a loving choice or drinking a cup of tea. It just is and it is very lovely to feel.
This is a good point Lieke. Often we assume that people are not ok if they are not smiling and laughing, and therefore we can put ourselves under pressure to look ‘happy’ for the sake of other people. Joy can be found in the simplest of things as you say, and this is a feeling inside that we can enjoy, and does not need to be an outward display simply to prove ourselves.
There might be also the factor that people feel uncomfortable with someone not being happy = miserable as that would mean they have to deal with that. Knowing someone to be happy basically means I don´t have to bother with something uneasy, so we can be comfortable.
Great point Lieke – we do not have to be constantly smiling ecstatically or laughing in order to be happy or joyful… We can feel joy in any moment, of every day – it does not depend on emotions, what we’re doing or who we’re with.
I always felt the same too Brooke … I felt there was some sort of pressure like “Well, if you tell me your happy then everything is ok … right?”. Joy on the other hand is a constant and it feels amazing! Happiness just doesn’t rate when you are filled with Joy. Happiness is momentary and seems to rely on the outside world to fulfil it … Joy is constantly there for you to connect to whenever you choose. There is no comparison!
Great one Brooke. I like what you’ve said about emotions, that they’re fleeting and aren’t solid. Where as a joyous way of living can be constant (without any perfection of course). Good job.
I completely agree. I prefer the steadiness and balance of true feelings not the up and down of emotions.
Yes me too – everything becomes so much simpler, clearer and joy-full then doesn’t it?
Joy is so much more than being happy as you so beautiful have described Brooke Taylor. As you say happiness is a fleeting moment you can feel but are not able to sustain. For me it feels that it comes from an excitement that needs to be maintained, compared to the joy, that resides in the stillness and that truly is there to be felt all the time continuously so, since the stillness is the true nature of our being and where no excitement resides.
Good point, happiness has motion in it and excitement, whereas joy is based on stillness and repose.
I agree Nico – it takes work to sustain being happy and still leaves me feeling somewhat empty, whereas Joy just flows naturally and effortless from the fiery embers within. I remember growing up hearing that to feel emotion was good. It meant you were alive and ‘in touch’, however after feeling Joy, there is no comparison. Joy is a living fiery Light that gently burns within us, that is contagious, warm and inspires all those around us.
Very true Nico, happiness is just a excitement not truly felt deep in our bodies, where on the other hand Joy resides in the body where it always is, a very steady and beautiful feeling.
Brooke, the way you have described joyful ness and happiness is so spot on. Happiness is not something we can hold on to, it comes and goes. But on the other hand joy fullness lives deep within. This is something I have rediscovered in the recent years with Serge Benhayon at Universal Medicine.
Being happy feels like a state where we always need to get more, or intensify to have the same fulfilment, like a drug addiction, but we are never truly fulfilled. Being joyful feels innate, natural, permanent, full, and the more we express it the more we can access it, and it just can’t be contained.
Adele when I read your comment about the fact that joy can’t be contained it struck me that none of the qualities of our inner most can. Love, stillness, harmony and joy are all border-less states of being whereas happiness feels like a metallic fence.
So true Adele, “Being happy feels like a state where we always need to get more, or intensify to have the same fulfilment, like a drug addiction, but we are never truly fulfilled.” In fact, consistent happiness is elusive and can keep us on a merry-go-round in search of it… until we discover the joy that naturally and effortlessly lives within. Living joyfully is not elusive, it is possible. In fact, VERY possible, and it never goes away. It just hangs out until we come back to it. Ever steady and ever so delightful.
I have observed this too – it really exposes that happiness is sought outside of us and that joy is eternally within us as Brooke so eloquently expressed.
Well said Adele. We have to ask, is ‘happiness’ ever truly fulfilled? In my experience, most definitely not – it is transient, and determined by factors outside of ourselves – which we may well demand to be a certain way, and even be ‘successful’ in attaining what we want… Yet underneath, the lack of fulfilment that exists when we do not truly reconnect to who we are, ever sits there as a vast cavern of emptiness – a place we desperately hope we don’t lose ourselves to…
Joy however, is innate as you say – when we have refound ourselves, it is as natural as breathing in and breathing out…
True Adele. Once Joy is let out it cannot be contained – it’s for all. We are all one and the same.
Yes Adele, I also feel happiness well likened to a drug addiction where it is like we are looking for that hit or stimulation. To me chasing happiness and living truly with Joy feel like two ways of being that are at either end of the scale.
When we say we are happy when we are not, it is harming because our expression is in conflict with how we feel. When we say we are happy when we are, we are led by an excited elation, the honesty we have to give ourselves credit for, yet the word is still taking us away from the connection with ourselves which feels still without ups and downs. The word happy also feels laced with attachment, it is not free, it is dependent always on something outside of us—and hence we are not free when we use this word. No wonder we cringe at hearing the word happy, and this is a great reminder to take deeper responsibility in what words to use when expressing.
Wow, Adele, I really agree with your comment “The word happy also feels laced with attachment, it is not free, it is dependent always on something outside of us—and hence we are not free when we use this word.” I seem to remember some time in the distant past, I had a boyfriend that often used to ask me if I was happy. I actually found it intrusive, and although I would often say ‘yes’, I never really felt comfortable about using that word. Now I know why, we are not free when we use this word. Deep within, I knew that word was not TRUE.
The imposition that comes with the word ‘happy’ can be clearly felt in your comment, it comes very close if not equals a demand of some kind, a supposed ‘right’ way to be that doesn’t leave much scope for a deeply felt and personal expression.
Very wise Adele your command is gold – we are not really aware of all the laced attachments we have with words – not only with the word happiness.
Brooke, I find anyone breathing joy in their simple daily expressions to be an absolute breath of fresh air, absolutely a gift and we all have that gift in connection with ourselves, the simplicity and the equal grandness of it is Amazing. Thank you.
It was a jolt to read your realisation that the pursuit of happiness never provides lasting satisfaction. Rather the gentle building of connection and joy within yourself providing a more consistent solidness within.
Thank you Brooke- I was also feeling a cringing feeling when you were talking about ‘happiness’- but the moment you mentioned joy- that I felt embodied and went “yes”. Thank you for expressing something that we have all been faced with and to offer some clarity into how we respond and feel.
Me too. I had this exact same feel when I read about happiness and then Joy.
True Arianne,
There is such investment, need, expectation and effort connected to this word ‘happiness’- i hear a false, see a false – the ‘happy’ person who we can feel is deeply angry or sad yet playing a role otherwise. Happy is the pressure to conform or be something, short-lived moments of escape or rewards and happy is as fleeting as happy is false.
Yes Deborah, for me there is a hollowness in the word happiness. It feels like there is a void in happiness that no amount of anything is going to fill it, a bottomless pit that will never fill. On the other hand Joy feels like an expansion, it is an emanation of Love when I connect to my essence. The Joy is there to not hold back, but to share with all of humanity.
Thanks for this inspiring blog Brooke. It situates what happiness is very well – a fleeting superficial thing that comes and goes. But this joy and love belongs to all of us always and does nor require anything outside of us to evoke it. It is a dimensional shift in the way we live, to be connected to this love, no matter what we are experiencing in the outside world, apparently good or apparently bad.
Lyndy it’s really mad when you consider that so much of the world is chasing happiness which you so aptly describe is fleeting and superficial. That’s just one crazy aspect of our futile search but when you stop and consider that joy in abundance is within us all whilst we scrabble around for happy moments then the whole thing seems utterly ridiculous !
Happiness keeps us in individuality, something that we strive for ourselves, joy offers us the opportunity to be in brotherhood, to share with everyone equally.
You are spot on Donna. When I feel into happiness, it is only making it about me, but joy on the other hand, feels totally all encompassing of everyone.
This is a great point Donna. Happiness is all about how we want to feel with out considering others, but to be joyful is something we can truly share with everyone. When we are joyful others can feel it. And the beautiful thing is we can be joyful in everything we do if we choose to, and we don’t have to make an effort to be it. It is then just how we are. How gorgeous!
Thanks for that Reminder Donna, this is a revelation for me and how in the pursuit of happiness it is just about self, and the choice to live joyfully is the way of brotherhood. Thankyou
So true Alexis. I still fall for the happiness hook from time to time. I can spot it when I find myself looking forward to something or checking out as if the present moment doesn’t matter. The dogged pursuit of happiness actually leads me to live in an irresponsible way. Joy on the other hand calls me to be absolutely responsible and honouring of myself and others.
Thank you Leonne for your honesty. Recently, when asked if I was excited about an upcoming trip, I felt into it and answered truthfully ‘No I’m not’. I was aware the trip was imminent, but was still with me in the present and content with that. There was no moving forward within me, just an acceptance of where I was.
Utterly ridiculous indeed, well said Alexis!
It is ridiculous, that we make happiness the ideal we seek and yet joy is often ignored . Often we hear the phrase from others…”I just want to be happy” I know I used it myself as a mantra for eons. To contemplate that joy is something we innately have, and is a constant, would have been unfathomable to me a few years ago. How is it possible that we can loose something that is so innate and not recognise it as part of ourselves?
Lyndy I agree, love and joy are part of us and even though we may be experiencing what are considered ‘bad’ things as in the death of a close one or loss of a job, or ‘good’ things such as a birthday celebration it does not mean we automatically feel sad or happy. I have often reflected on these ideals. In fact any emotion will leave us either up or down, whereas with love and joy there is harmony and ease.
Yes with joy there is harmony and ease, agree Victoria, and feel this ease is related to acceptance – of how things are and of ourselves too, to leave us at ease with ourselves – joy, harmony, is then a benefit arising through acceptance. When we are happy we always search for ‘more happy’ because there isn’t a real acceptance of how things are, but instead an underlying dissatisfaction and therefore pursuit of wanting to make it/life better, through happiness. Happiness takes us out; Joy pulls us in.
Love these words Lyndy – “But this joy and love belongs to all of us always”. I never feel this with happiness, it only brings comparison, it’s momentary and hiding what I’m really feeling. It’s quite a sinister emotion in fact.
Brooke, what a beautiful expose of the word ‘happy’. I agree that word and it’s connotations is fleeting, it is a bit like chasing something that is not going to be caught – a butterfly, a bird or a rainbow. But with joy it is all encompassing as it is an emanation of love and not an emotion as happy is – an ideal and not real.
As I read your comment Susan I realised that being ‘happy’ is about us and what we experience with it. It is very self-centred. But joy is for everyone. When we feel joy this is naturally shared for all to feel and be part of. It holds everyone equally as joy is not about just one person and their experience, it is about so much more than that. To me the difference between the two are light years apart.
Agree Robin. When I am Joyfull, I can feel the whole world with me!
Beautifully said Robyn, happiness is about us… and Joy is for everyone. Thank you for taking my awareness of Joy to a new level… happiness and joy are indeed light years apart!
This is true Robyn ‘joy is for everyone. When we feel joy this is naturally shared for all to feel and be part of. It’s also something felt, there’s no trying. With happiness, it often it feels like a striving to be happy, a place we have to get to or aspire to be. With joy there is no movement, it just is.
Thanks Brooke, I have also found that there is a significant difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is something I continually chase, through things and actions, as you have named Joy is something that comes from within me, based on how loving I have been with myself.
Exactly Joel and beautifully summarised – happiness is on the outside whereas joy comes from within. I previously was like Brooke where I was in a never ending chase for happiness, capturing it at times but never able to sustain it for other than short periods and always looking for the next fix. Joy on the other hand is not to be found on the outside, and is always there, simply waiting for us when we connect to ourselves within…
‘… and always looking for the next fix…’ – it’s very much like a drug isn’t it Angela?!
Joy is who we are and happiness is something we seek outside of ourselves when we are not connected to the joy that we are.
Thank you Marcia. Powerfully, simply and succinctly expressed.
Thanks Marcia, you nailed it in one succinct sentence! beautifully expressed
Marcia, that’s perfectly summed up in a beautifully wise way.
Yes, it is like ‘falling in love’ and ‘to truly love’. Falling in love is like happiness an attraction which is time-dependent and bound to a certain occasion. Whereas joy is like love, it is an ever deepening feeling, very solid and constant.
Boom – straight to the point Marcia. Joy is who we are.
Beautifully said Marcia.
Spot on Marcia and thank you Brooke for bringing our awareness to what many term ‘happiness’ and seek; the elusiveness of this goal ‘happy’ and the power of Joy – such warmth, permanence, steadiness and simplicity of Joy – no striving, no looking out, just being us and expressing the love we are. Joy!
Marcia that is so short and sweet and so true!
Absolutely Marcia, beautifully summed up, ‘Joy is who we are and happiness is something we seek outside of ourselves when we are not connected to the joy that we are.’
There is also a great sense of connection with life and all that lives in Joy whereas with happiness there remains a sense of isolation, disconnection and emptiness.
Very beautifully said Marcia.
Simplicity itself! Thankyou Marcia for summing the difference up so succinctly.
Beauty-fully written marcia owen- lots of Joy!
You have summed up joy and happiness beautifully, Joel. Joy is about self responsibility and is reflected in our innermost and happiness is superficial and is usually reliant on external things. I know which one feels like “me”.
Me too Anne joy feels so natural and “me” like 🙂
I agree Joel and Brooke, happiness is something I continually chased, through things and actions. Joy has nothing to do with elevation or a heightened state of being. It is there very strong when I witness another grow and evolve.
Brooke wow was a great piece. It has really opened my eyes up on the lie of being happy. I too feel an everyday solidness and contentment with me that has been supported also my the Esoteric Modalites which is a joy to behold that does not need any striving for anything outside of me to be happy!
I feel the same Sharon, particularly with regard to the Esoteric modalities. Before I discovered these I was living a film-flam, rollercoaster life with instances of happiness but mostly emotions, drama and sometimes a kind of flatness. Learning how to reconnect to myself through these modalities was key to unlocking something far more substantial. Every moment I do this – reconnect – I strengthen the possibility of joy.
Without the Esoteric Modalities I could not have re-developed the ability to feel energy so clearly again. To choose to not be fooled anymore. To be open to knowing Truth, Love, Stillness, Harmony and Joy once again. Serge Benhayon presented one day that if there is Joy then there is also present the other 4 elements – how cool is that.
Awesome Sharon – your comment reminds me how instrumental Universal Medicine Therapies have been in allowing me to connect with the true joy described here.
Spot on Sharon… no striving required for Joy!
Yes, true joy can never be found in seeking or anywhere outside ourselves, its in our hearts and who we are.
Me too Sharon! I was caught up in the illusion that something outside of me would bring fulfillment. I was on a quest to find the ever elusive happiness and the next thing that I thought would make my life ok, only to get there and find I still felt the same and was then looking for the ‘next thing’ or happy event to fix my life. I’ve now been able to ‘feel that looking for anything outside of myself – including happiness – will never make my life complete, and that by looking within, is where true joy is found.
I agree Angela. As kids we see the role models around us going through the chasing and we learn to join in. Universal Medicine has been miraculous in supporting so many people to reconnect to their inner joy.
This is a great comment Sharon. I can remember a time when I’d reached a point in my life when I thought that if I was happy, it would always be counter balanced by being unhappy, because of something outside of me would happen to ‘make me’ unhappy. This became a very real pattern in my life, so I started to get anxiuos about being ‘happy’! However now I know that it is my choice whether or not to allow outside influences affect how I feel, and as you say Sharon, there is an everyday solidness and contentment within me that has been supported also by the Esoteric Modalites’ and there are few times when I am not connected to the constant joy that I now know I have inside me.
I love how simply you have put that Sharon – being happy is a lie.
Brooke I love your blog about, ‘happiness’. I can relate to everything you share. I also used to feel ‘that I was failing at life if I wasn’t ‘happy’. I also chased it – and ‘sometimes I felt it – but I could never hang onto it.’ All I wanted to do was be happy and I mistakenly thought it would come in the guise of the perfect job, the perfect partner, friends, having my own home and great holidays abroad. I looked to get everything outside of me to obtain it, but was deeply unhappy most of the time on the inside. Like you I also found the support I needed through Esoteric Healing only to find something much grander than happiness that was more solid and long lasting and that was to feel the exquisite loveliness inside that is me. It’s permanent and is not going anywhere and if I am having an off day, it’s right there for me to come home to.
Beautifully said, Rachel. All you have shared here has also been my experience too. Thank you for your expression, it was powerful to read.
Yep, my loveliness is permanent. Happiness is exhausting!
Love your words here Rachel – “It’s permanent and is not going anywhere and if I am having an off day, it’s right there for me to come home to.”
Living up to the expectation that we should be happy is exhausting Elizabeth, as is the expectation that we should make other people happy too. And it is so fleeting, here one moment,and destroyed through an unkind word or action the next. The loveliness Rachel speaks of cannot be destroyed in this way, it lives within us,deep and unchanging.
Finding the love of our lives inside of us is a joy in itself Rachel and I love how you have expressed it here. Wherever we are there it is too!
‘Finding the love of our lives inside ourselves is a joy in itself’ beautifully expressed Bernadette and says it all.
I love this Bern…we can be the love of our lives.
‘Finding the love of our lives inside ourselves is a joy in itself’ I love this also Bernadette. There is such a joy with this line. It hits a deep chord of joy that makes heart wants to sing!
Thank you Rachel for helping me feel the difference between joy and happiness. What is expressed here “It’s permanent and is not going anywhere and if I am having an off day, it’s right there for me to come home to.” is when I could feel in body how yes happiness comes and goes but Joy – joy is always there it has simply been my choice to not live in a way that feels and confirms this all the time :). Awesome blog in explaining the difference, thank you Brooke.
Yes it is awesome Julie to know the difference. This blog is power-full and has confirmed to me when I make it about people it is instant Joy. It’s a choice and a constant choice – it will reveal itself. Once it does reveal itself no more searching.. You just need the Will, or move your body with love, or express from the Heavens and JOY will be there!
The incessant chase for happiness. It’s like the carrot dangling ever so slightly, just out of our reach.
It’s a magnificent revelation when one realises that there is a distinct difference between happiness and joy. The former is shiney, seductive, enticing yet illusive and empty.
The latter feels full, an ever present, warming hum, rocking the body deeply yet imperceptibly. We emanate it through every pore and the glow is unmistakable.
May we continue to grow ever more joy-full, inspiring others as we go, building a true family, as one with humanity. Joy-filled.
I love what you say here Rachel, if we are having an off day – Joy IS right there for us to connect to. When I stop all the thoughts of ‘I need to do x, y, z’ and all of the pressures and expectations I place on myself, there is such a feeling of ease and Grace within me and I feel so beautiful, that it reminds me that all the other stuff is just not me.
Thanks Shevon, as you say “Joy IS right there for us to connect to.” It just is and so easily available especially if I stay connected with myself through my day. How I have so easily taken on all that other stuff that is not me.
So true Rachel, you and Brooke sum it up extremely well. We run around chasing all the things that we think will make us happy only to find that what they deliver is flimsy and fleeting. It feels like happiness is very conditional, dependent upon lots of different ingredients and many different recipes, but is always something attained externally. And then there is esoteric healing, a modality, a way of life that brings us home to all the delicious joy inside us, that like you say, even if we are having a bit of an off day, our joy is waiting patiently inside for us to return to it again. After many years of choosing esoteric healing and universal medicine, I too can now firmly claim that joy is a quality within me, solid, unerring, full and rich that requires nothing more than my loving attention to nourish it.
Gorgeous Rachel, I love what you have written here “only to find something much grander than happiness that was more solid and long lasting and that was to feel the exquisite loveliness inside that is me”
beautifully described Rachel, ‘I also found the support I needed through Esoteric Healing only to find something much grander than happiness that was more solid and long lasting and that was to feel the exquisite loveliness inside that is me. It’s permanent and is not going anywhere’, joy and happiness are very different qualities, I love the steadiness and permanence of joy, that it is there always if we choose it and it is not dependant on another, whereas we have no control over happiness it is something outside of us and is usually reliant on others.
That´s how it feels to me as well, the loveliness of being connected with my very being, centered and knowing who I am, being at ease with myself, open to life, willing to learn and so much more. It seems to be a package of feelings once I am connected, accept and allow myself to just be; it actually is a vibrant state of being. Forget happy.
So True, Happy is but a speck of self that can be pinpointed, fleeting and measured against anything really that is less than happy to feel a state of elation, escape or relief; whereas Joy is abundant,, endless, sustainable, expansive and connected to all.
So true Alex, joy is the real deal and happiness is an illusive emotion that is very conditional to external events
I agree Alex. The beauty of feeling he love that I am that is shared with others is true joy. The transitory emotional highs of happiness are followed by the downs of the mundane – forget happy.
Yes so beautifully said Rachel, feeling happy is a pressure that we all measure our lives against, then compare whether we are as happy as our next door neighbour, your friends, work colleagues. Because we are rarely looking inside of ourselves for that joy, not just happiness that comes and goes.
Absolutely Rachel – the happiness is part of the facade, it never really gets under the surface, whereas the joy is lived from within out.
Brooke I really loved what you explored here as happiness is so often what people try to attain, yet I too have found it to be fleeting, unlike joy which you so beautifully described as confirming of you, solid, playful, warm and something which is lasting. This has been my experience too. I know when I don’t feel this way I am not with myself and am able to feel that I am looking outside of me, or not truly with me in the moment. Through Universal medicine and the esoteric practitioners I have seen I too am learning to live more from my essence and with that comes the joy of living me. Thank you for sharing your beautiful awareness about what it is to find the joy within.
“Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.
It is there when I am sleeping and it is there when I wake. It is solid and it is constant. It feels confirming of who I am.”
This is beautiful Brooke and I can really relate, Joy is consistent and has no swingometer of up moments and drops as does happiness. It does not sit on a spectrum of two extremes, trying to stay at one end of the spectrum (the hapiness end), but inevitably swinging between the two. Joy is steady, confirming and not an elevation.
Beautiful blog, thank you.
I agree Kate, I didn’t know what true joy was until I reconnected to it within me. Sometimes it feels like my joy is too much for some people, so now it is learning how to be in joy and accept myself, and that its ok to be all the joy that I am.
I love the part you have highlighted Kate… “Joy needs nothing to evoke it. It lives inside of me.
It is there when I am sleeping and it is there when I wake. It is solid and it is constant. It feels confirming of who I am.” …because for me this says there is nothing we need to DO to attain joy, it is only about connecting to it as it is always there. This is so gorgeous and is absolutely my experience. Whereas with happiness it is a constant effort to attain and more effort to then keep it. To me this speaks volumes.
Great point Catherine about not stopping our natural joy. One of life’s absolutely available innate precious gifts lives inside us 24/7 and all we need to do is remember and connect to our joy. It is dependent on no one or anything but us.
Robyn happiness requires a constant effort to attain for sure, it also comes at a cost, not only financial as people will go to extraordinary lengths to entertain themselves and others for a ‘splash of happiness’. Then there is the unseen cost of having had happiness, you then forever chasing it which can be exhausting and it becomes a way of life planning for the next happy event. Whereas joy is ever present and requires nothing but a connection to the abundance within.
Yes Kate, to me Joy feels like a state of being and happiness a state of attaining. One you have to work for, the other just is.
Wise words Elizabeth – it brings me Joy !!
Gorgeous Kate I couldn’t agree more. Joy is a constant and happiness is fleeting.
Achieving happiness can require a lot of effort, whereas you have said Elizabeth ‘Joy just is ‘.
Yes a really big smile came across me when Brooke started talking about Joy. As I have been having esoteric healing sessions over the past 4 years I have learnt to let go of the relentless need for ‘happiness’ and have been settling into the solidness of me and discovering the true meaning of joy. It is something quite heavenly and very real and very within reach as it is within all of us. Each and every one. A bubbling fountain of joy.
Yes Sarah, and there is an exquisite feeling of well-being that comes with joy, so unlike the hyped up high of happiness which is really about one’s personal profile rather than a universally shared way of being.
Love this Lyndy, your comment about happiness being part of one’s personal profile, brought a smile from my exquisite and innately joyful well-being.
Me too. A great point Lyndy.
Sharing a ‘universal way of being’ speaks absolute truth Lyndy. When I read those words a resounding ‘YES’ echoed through my body. Universal understanding instead of individual pursuit is the way and joy just IS when I feel this truth. Thank you; this is the kernel to take into my day today!
I had never thought about joy being a “universal way of being” but in some ways it is almost like our birthright that we lost along the way.
Joy being the ‘kernel’ to take into my day Bernadette, I love that as it can grow and blossom!
Love this Sara, the true joy that I have been finding comes from a very astute knowing of who I am and feeling completely confident within that
So true Sarah that Joy is dependent on my connection to my true self or my living essence inside me. Happiness on the other hand is soooo.. dependent on outer variables and effects.
I agree, it is like happiness is treated like it is the be all or end all. Through this we do create a need for happiness, but when we achieve happiness we realize that we are more than happiness and that happiness isn’t true; so then we go into the opposite, sadness and looking for something else. Looking for true joy.
Sarah who would have thought the relentless striving for happiness was a journey away from the joy we have as a constant within, all that time we didn’t appreciate the exquisite connection we have naturally.
I love that Sarah. We are all bubbling fountains of joy and its untapped always there constantly.
I’m still getting used to this idea that joy is not an elevation … I am so used to the swingometer. When I connect to joy I feel amazing compared to the times I don’t connect to it. I can feel this isn’t really an elevation but a connection to a true way of being that shows how false it is to live without joy.
Yes I felt this too Leonne and I took a while to just feel how amazing that is. Joy is something that feels so steady and complete and just oozing deliciousness yet it is not elevating at all.
Indeed joy is a steady feeling, something complete where nobody, nothing is required from the outside. It just is. For me this shift from the need to be happy to experiencing this pure joy from within was big and yet so simple. Joy is there, always. Just need to not dis-connect from it 🙂
I love what you share here Leonne. The simplicity of feeling joy, not ‘an elevation but a connection to a true way of being”
Yes Leonne, I also feel that joy is not an elevation, but something so natural. When I am connected with real joy I also feel the blessing of just being me.
What you shared Leonne reminds me of how seeking happiness and wanting it to last is in fact an elevated feeling that is only ever temporary.
Leonne the swingometer… It was such a gauge of a good time, and if you didn’t hit the heights on the swingometer you were deemed dull or boring. It actually went with me to all my interactions as I needed to react a certain level to be socially acceptable., that’s scary but it was true. Now it doesn’t come on my radar, I have connected to the joy within and it’s a constant without the highs and lows.
Beautifully said Kate – Joy is steady, confirming and not an elevation.
Absolutely agree, Kate “Joy is steady, confirming and not an elevation”, that is exactly what I now feel more and more, day to day. It seems a long time now since I sought to be ‘happy’, I think I knew intrinsically that it was so ephemeral, it is there one moment, and then gone the next. That brings about the exhausting experience of being up one moment, and down the next, just like a see-saw. I love the lasting joy that one can experience the more one stays connected to oneself. It is still somewhat a work in progress for me to hold this, but so, so worthwhile.
Connecting to myself and feeling the joy is work in progress for me too. At times I have felt so much joy that I have felt ‘bigger’ than myself and there is nothing I cannot do, I have more confidence and am more open to people, I naturally connect and love everyone more. This feeling is so awesome I wonder to myself where has it ‘gone’ when I feel disconnected, the reality is it has not ‘gone’ anywhere, it is just me who is resisting feeling my own magnificence. Acceptance, appreciation and honesty with myself goes a long way to re-connecting to the joy within.
Beverley, I felt your words in your comment above “I love the lasting joy that one can experience the more one stays connected to oneself.” so remind-full and true, and that is the key it seems to ‘stay connected to oneself’.
How beautiful, yes indeed. Thank you for this blog.
I can relate too Kate. Joy is steady and still and WARM and glorious. It has not peaks and no troths.
It sits deep inside and emanates out of every pour and it is simply glorious. 🙂
I too now know the difference between joy and happiness whereas previously I used to think they were one in the same thing. Happiness is as many have already said, so fleeting. We have moments of happiness, some short some long, but it doesn’t last, and then there is the come down once it has passed. But joy is always there inside us, it is a constant and doens’t have highs and lows. We just have to learn to connect with it more often so that is becomes a part of who we are, and then it oozes from our body for all to see and feel, with no trying! And that is truly gorgeous.
The difference between happiness and joy is a wide, wide road. The opening to a consistent experience of inner joy is a rewarding path that cannot be denied, and I for one very much appreciate.
More than a wide, wide road…the difference is like a chasm. On one side is the steadiness and consistency of joy, an inner state of being that is very much alive…and on the other side, happiness is fleeting and floating, an outer response that is momentary, being used to fill an empty space.
Happiness is much like riding a rollercoaster. It’s fun for a while (like about a minute!), then I want some stability under my feet, something concrete, something still. It’s great I have joy waiting for me when I get back onto dry land, so to speak!
I agree Suzanne with the roller coaster analogy of happiness and the roller coaster. In the past for me I could always justify the lows of the downs by the excitement of the highs. It is crazy how we can compartmentalise life when it suits us to!
Well said James. Yes it is crazy how we choose to and accept that life can be compartmentalised. It is far truer to feel me all of the time with a beautiful balanced feeling.
But isn’t crazy how we actually choose which events are going to bring us happiness (we hope) – a holiday, the weekend, a certain event, food. That must mean we actually know life is not good for all the time in between. That’s what I love about Joy it comes from within – you do not need to travel anywhere or do anything.
So true Rik, I love what you said, Joy comes from within there is no need to travel anywhere or to do anything to get a certain outcome. True joy is inside and is there as a constant marker if we choose it.
Yes Rik happiness is something we seek and yet joy is steady and found in the simplest moments and comes from within.
Great point, Rik! True joy comes from within, it is steady, deep and solid and can carry us through our day. Many people wait the whole day for the evening, wait the whole week for the weekend or even wait weeks and months for holidays to come to finally be happy and do not even feel irritated by this way of living. Or should I better say this way of not living? When we choose love and make our life about evolution and true purpose, we can feel complete and full of joy in each and every moment, even if we have a very hard 10-hours-work-day with an angry boss…
That is crazy Rik! We are just choosing to be on a rollercoaster which we do not like falling for an illusion that there is some way of being that can be ‘happy’ all of the time when we know deep inside that is simply not true.
That’s a really awesome observation Rik. I hadn’t thought of it like that. It’s like we live knowing our life is not so great all day and ‘save up’ for some time that is ‘happy’, all the time knowing we are going back to that unhappiness we live everyday.
I used to think that life was a roller coast, that life was all about ups and down, that this was normal. And that the way to get to happiness was to be really sad at times, or inevitably after all happiness comes some sadness and what’s worse that I was the sum total of all my high and lows, happinesses and sadnesses – what a lie I was sold. And I swallowed it hook line and sinker.. until I met Serge Benhayon and he dispelled that all in one session – he supported me to see and feel that I was not the roller coaster but the love and joy that resided in my inner-heart.
Well said Terri-Anne. It is a lie we are sold and we eat it hook like and sinker indeed. Thanks for the reminder that we are indeed love and joy and the to enjoy the solidness that exists within those. I still purchase tickets every now and then for the roller-coaster but realise it is not a good ride at all. And return to the solidness and gorgeousness that I am.
The roller coaster part I know very well as well Terri-Anne. In the past I had so many emotional ups and downs – or when I’m honest, more downs than ups. I was so far away from real joy. And thanks to Serge and Unimed I found my way back to me and to joy.
Man I used to ‘love’ that ride you are talking about Terri-Anne.
In fact I used to think that it was the downs in life that let me know that I was human – and live life attracted to those downs.
Until I realised that life is not meant to be hard. It is possible to live and love open and freely and consistently with joy.
Yes Suzanne, that is exactly what it is like!
Great anaology between happiness and a rollercoaster Suzanne…. Not only are there ups and downs, but overall it’s a short term thrill that generally only lasts for as long as the ride (or talking about it afterwards!), before having to line up in the queue in order to experience another thrill (aka another splash of happiness). Joy however is devoid of thrills, is always complete and always present, relies on no stimulation, no anticipation and no expectation.
I agree Angela, and I love your reference to “…another splash of happiness..” that is it isn’t it – the difference between joy and happiness – happiness is just there in that instant, that moment, but joy as you say is ‘always present’.
Joy is innate and requires nothing to be.
Perfect Angela but also in relation to the roller coaster example there is often a come down feel from both a roller coaster and from happiness, I know when I have “happy moments” in my life then I always feel the sadness and emptiness that the rest of my life is usually at.
I agree Oliver, there is a come down after the thrill of happiness, then the reality of normal life and the lack of ‘happiness’, seems to me that there is a comparison between the two. ” I was feeling good before, now I don’t, what’s going on? ” Then looking outside to get that feeling again and so it goes, the roller coaster of emotions. As Brook so beautifully explains – the fullness of joy, always there coming from inside, no bells and whistles, just the exquisite contentment of who I am.
It wasn’t until I found out that it is possible to get off the rollercoaster that we get sold as a lie is what life is all about – that I realised that the feelings I used to think were what I enjoyed – were actually just an upset stomach!
I like that Simon,to finally realise that the roller coaster is just a ride and not reality. It so positively joyful to have your feet firmly on the ground without the need of the highs, lows and thrills of the ride and that it is just there as a distraction from what is really going on.
Awesome comment Suzanne, so much truth in what you share about the transitory feeling of happiness. It has no foundation and as you say feels rather like that roller coaster thrill and then its gone. But the joy within is always there just waiting our connection. Beautiful.
Joy to me feels like the very elusive feeling of contentment, which is something that seems very amiss in this world. And it is like you say Beverley, the innate joy within us is just bubbling underneath all of those layers of protection that we have built around ourselves waiting to be let out!
Happiness is like a roller coaster experience, it is there one minute and gone the next, leaving you feeling empty. Joy within is always there just waiting for our connection. Joy never leaves.
I recently have been checking in with my body on a daily basis and what I have discovered is the same quality of expansion, warmth inside me that never wavers or differs, this is something I am starting to enjoy and want to take care of and nurture more than anything else, but even in that knowing I sabotage so I eat food that will dull me and that connection to the warmth is less. Crazy. But I know what lies beneath with a solidness and confidence than no happiness could ever touch the sides of.
I’ve found the same Vanessa. What lays beneath is untouchable and unwavering…it is simply my choices that allow me to either feel the ceaseless warmth and expansion…or not.
I love the analogy of a rollercoaster Suzanne. The thing with a rollercoaster is that it will continue to gain momentum, but eventually it has to stop, like happiness it is never going to last, unlike Joy which is constant and once chosen Joy can be lived every day whatever happens around us, as it comes from deep within and is part of our true nature.