On Saturday I had a lovely catch-up breakfast with a friend where I met her two-and-a-half-year-old daughter. We greeted each other at the café with a simple hug and took our time to find the right table where we would all be comfortable. As adults we found a corner with cushions that supported us best and the little girl asked her mother, ever so gently, if she could have the high chair once another child was finished using it.
The natural love of a child is breathtaking…
As we sat and ate I was in awe of how delicate, tender and simply adorable this little girl opposite me was! She joined in with our giggles, appeared to listen and observe us in our conversation. With support she made her own choices in deciding what food and drink to order, and stopped eating when she knew she had eaten enough. She even used napkins to clean her table down when she was finished.
She was making each and every choice just like any adult could do and I actually felt like I had a little adult sitting with us, although I noticed something different to what I have seen in many adults; her beautiful blue eyes were opened – seemingly as wide and as bright as possible – and her playfulness of giggles and smiles had no limit and no reservation. She looked fully into our eyes when we spoke to her – she was just being herself.
When it was time to leave and in her mother’s arms, we both reached out to touch hands – this little girl wrapping her tiny hand around my finger as her mother and I walked to our cars. She asked for a cuddle from me and then snuggled in to my arms and chest with as much warmth as she could.
My friend and I spoke about the imposition that we can easily place on our children to be affectionate with an adult, just because they are family or because it is expected of them; forgetting the fact that everyone has a right to choose what feels right for them, including our children.
On this day I was feeling particularly gentle and tender within my own body – a feeling I often describe as stillness – with no rush or race, and I was amazed at the exquisite feeling of stillness I felt equally in her.
It was like I had known her forever, although we had only just met. In the past I have experienced that sense of ‘clucky-ness’ when holding another’s child, or I needed them to cuddle me to fill that old belief I held as a woman – that this should come naturally as I often proclaimed that I wanted one of these (a child) of my own! I can see clearly how this would impact any child in our presence as we are imposing the emotional needs of ourselves onto them.
But there was simply none of this: it didn’t matter that she wasn’t my child as the experience of simply holding her with pure equality and grace was nothing short of a miracle. It was an amazing reminder of the pure and loving reflection that our children bring to our lives, and of the natural love of a child that we so easily resonate with. They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.
By Cherise Holt, 30, Nurse, Brisbane
I love to observe children as they can teach us so much because they are so open to people as long as we don’t impose upon them. It is very noticeable when we impose because you can not only see them back away physically but energetically. They are as sensitive as sea anomies that you can find in the rock pools at the seaside, approach them roughly and they disappear within themselves and don’t come out until they feel safe.
Young children often show us the truth.
“They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be” and that’s it isn’t it Cherise ‘when others allow them to just be’. But how often do we allow children to ‘just be’? Hardly at all, if ever. We are imposing on them pretty much all of the time, impositions of time, what to do, when to do, how to behave, how not to behave, in fact we are constantly moulding them into a very bastardised version of their original uncorrupted selves. If however we just stood back (acknowledging that we do also need to guide them and yes they do need to do certain things) then who they turned out to be and subsequently the world that they then became part of would be radically different.
Lovely to feel your appreciation for your friend’s daughter just being herself and how when we don’t impose on children they can express themselves freely and provide an amazing reflection for adults who have so often lost their way with this.
A great example of how much kids can teach / inspire us if we are open to seeing the gold that is on offer.
That is so gorgeous to read. Kids bring us such joy and wisdom that can be easily overlooked. My 2yr old is constantly offering me a level of playfulness and love that can only go deeper.
We can get a pure reflection of love, of God with everyone we meet and children often don’t have that many layers to protect their soul. What I read in your blog is also how this little girl is supported to stay like that and be completely her beautiful self.
Yes – to be or not to be that is the question. For our love is always available to lfie..
Yes, they can be amazing teachers if we are open to what they are reflecting.
Children can reflect much to us, we simply let ourselves observe, ‘It was an amazing reminder of the pure and loving reflection that our children bring to our lives, and of the natural love of a child that we so easily resonate with. They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.’
Gill I agree it is a beautiful reminder when we observe small children of the joy that is innately within us.
When we Love and share equally the decency and respect that we all can live by life becomes so simple.
When we honour young children for the wise but little beings they are, we allow them the space to be, and to grow into, all that is naturally within their essence. But for some reason, we as a society seem to have got it all wrong by taking on the belief that children are clean slates waiting for us to write the story of their lives for them, a story we often write from our unquestioned beliefs, our hurts and our own unfulfilled desires. Allow a child to be all that they are, to honour their honest expression and to support them in this very challenging world is what our role is, a role that is of the utmost importance if we are to change this world in any way.
Supporting the wisdom of children without imposing our beliefs and pictures of how they should be is crucial if we are to become a more loving and equal society.
It’s beautiful reading about the equality offered to this young child, and that she was held with regard and respect to her feelings and what she felt to choose and do.
Everyone of us… Each and every one of us has this awareness within, that it is possible to reconnect to that inmate joy
It is deeply beautiful to feel the timelessness, the agelessness our connection to love offers us all to be at one with, and with each other regardless of our age. The wisdom of love is something we are all born knowing, and the eyes and beingness of a child remind us of that quality, which has never truly left us.
Beautiful what you share here Carola, we are not far from the wisdom that is within us all and it is beautiful to be reminded by the eyes and the beingness of a child.
Letting ourselves be is where it starts.. trusting that by being ourselves with whatever we feel is enough. Knowing that we have this naturalness to us, that we know since we were a child. No matter how far we have stepped away from it or maybe at times don’t even recognize. To stand in the knowing and re-connect back, letting all our imperfections and perfections be.
I was recently enjoying the afternoon with a friend and her newborn baby. I was fascinated by him and the brightness in his eyes and the way he looked at and responded to people, when his face would light up, everyone just melted. He was so gorgeous, you couldn’t take your eyes off him. There is something here that we stop showing to others as we grow and then we stop seeing this in each other.
MW I agree with you babies and young children have a natural charm that we are all drawn to, because it rekindles in us that sense of unemotional love that we are all born with and all come from that then gets buried under all the conditions and controls that we get crushed by as we grow up.
How can what you shared in your blog be gone when our children go to school? It is quite challenging and sometimes almost impossible to keep this level of delicateness and being yourself and yet it is all there and we all melt when we experience it. Something is not working in our world today.
Sitting in a cafe, you could say there is not too much different about a child like this. It’s not something they say or an action they do, but more like a natural tenderness – a door to their heart they have opened up and not vociferously shut. As adults we have so much to learn from kids like this – thank you Cherise.
Your appreciation for the reflection offered by your friend’s daughter in the choices she is making is so touching and allowed you the opportunity to connect at a deeper level and take that with you into the rest of your day.
It is beautiful how reflection of others can support us in our lives.
A beautiful sharing on the uniqueness and naturalness of children and a real reflection for us all in their stillness and affection and the wonder studying everything in their eyes “They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.”
For a child life is so simple and easy to feel. How crazy we spend our life complicating – all in the name of ‘getting somewhere’. The truth is we had all the wonder and awe of the universe right at day one. Now we can choose to return to this tender and delicate place. University courses ought to be about connecting back to this preciousness not intellectual theory. Thank you Cherise.
Often we spend a lifetime not being ourselves and get so used to this it is not until we see another, particularly a small child, being themselves that we get a reminder of how far we have drifted from our true selves.
For most of my life I fervently held the belief that childhood was a very separate thing to adulthood and that part of growing up meant leaving our childhood qualities behind. Therefore children never reminded me of how far I had drifted from my true self because I always saw them as a very separate aspect of life. It’s only now that I have returned to my true self that I know that the way that we live and feel as kids is actually our natural living way as adults. How gorgeous, truly how absolutely gorgeous that how we feel as kids is not restricted or limited to childhood.
Children do know how to feel, they feel so much… They know tenderness and delicacy as an innate quality within themselves. The thing is we have to know ourselves to such an extent that we can actually nurture this within them. And when we allow ourselves to do this we can feel and connect in the way that we are truly meant to.
Well said Kristy. Many times children will behave the way their parent expects them to. If the parent treats a child as ‘less’ they will act out this ‘less’. When a child is given space to be who they are they show how capable and wise they can be.
So beautifully shared Cherise. Children are very rarely appreciated for their delicacy and wisdom as most adults have forgotten their own ability to be this way. When we connect to who we are we are able to confirm the truth for others as you did so lovingly for the young girl you mention in your story.
Discovering the child within such a beautiful experience… Something that reconnects to a part of ourselves that brings joy fun and even play… Lightness of being that is who we are
Love is universal and knows no boundaries, and when shared as such it matters not if a child is ‘yours’ or from another, as the love shared in that moment is absolute, representing and confirming the light of who we are in essence. Children have an effortless way of expressing this that so often melts me.
Beautiful, when we let children be, there is no difference between us and them. There is a joy of being equal and a sharing what we all are, precious, graceful and pure love.
Yes, beautiful and transparent reflections we find in children. Great reminders of what we were and always are within us.
We can learn much from children when they are allowed to be in their heart. They truly inspire me when I observe them naturally be themselves. I felt tonight in my body how my movements were of a young tender boy. Something I dearly miss and cherish as adult as I return to this loveable infectious behaviour.
The openess and honesty of children is a beautiful reminder of our innate wisdom that we can come back too.
Thank you for sharing Cherise , children when treated as children and not as a possession , can be great fun and joy to be with , but its important not to forget we all have this possibility even as adults.
Lovely to read this account of your meeting with a two-year-old Cherise. It just goes to show that if we are left alone as children to be ourselves without having to please anyone, we will naturally be loving.
No matter their age, when we are around people who are simply being themselves they can feel both ageless and wise at the same time.
Yes, it is like there is no age, but even more wisdom and love.
I can relate to the ‘clunckiness’ Cherise. I have never felt a naturalness with children when growing up and therefor put myself into the box of ‘not being good with children’. I can see how this now is debilitating myself to be myself with children, I can see I was not like other people with children but it does not mean I was wrong, I just had to let myself open up and be sweet and tender and thus I can be open with children too. It is very dangerous when we put ourselves in a box if we are not aware of it and start to make the box our reality.
Meeting a beautiful child who is tenderly and lovingly just being themselves can stop you in your tracks. It is a preciousness in life that is simply exquisite.
What a beautiful little bundle of love to be reflecting to you what it is to truly be a child; a child that has been allowed and supported to be all that she is. You would think that should be normal in our society but unfortunately it is not as most young children begin to be moulded into what others have come to believe they should be from a very early age, burying the divine little beings that they naturally are beneath many layers of family and societal expectations.
‘The natural love of a child is breathtaking…” – this is true Cherise. Children offer us a very beautiful reminder of who we still are in essence. The love that a child feels is expressed in full without question, without hesitation and without measure. Imagine how much more we would naturally be ourselves, if we were confirmed of the love we innately are from the day we are born.
What you shared here is so beautiful. I often see children being with the parents and simply told to be quiet or ignored, it’s as if they are little so they don’t know anything.
What you have shared demonstrates that if you give them the space, love and understanding that they are just as wise and loving as us.
This article is not only an absolute blessing, it is also a reminder as to how living life can be and will be again.
That such love can flow, and is natural, is a testament to our true nature… this love is within us all … ( just like our beautiful voices …) … ☺
A beautiful sharing Cherise, thank you, I love these words ” They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.” we all knew this as children but lost it along the way of growing up, now we are blessed with the knowing that this has not been lost but is there for us to claim and live with the joy of who we are.
A beautiful loving blog Cherise, thank you. There is no doubt that the natural love of a child is breathtaking, as I am sure she felt your natural love. What a blessing for you both.
Everything about this sharing is beautiful to read and feel, but what stands out for me is that our children, like us, deserve to be given the freedom to offer and accept affection if they feel to, not because they have been told to by another.
What you’ve shared here highlights how awfully we can behave toward the children in our lives – and also how beautifully we can accept the doors to an open relationship when we are so invited…
Thing is, we know as adults how awful it can be to have someone impose their needs upon us, and yet how often is the beauty of a child sought after, needed, coveted, hugged when they don’t want it, and in the worst instance, bled dry by our own lack of fulfilment and wholeness in relationship with ourselves…
Everyone longs for the space to simply be themselves. To celebrate such moments shared with each other – in loving respect and equal embrace – is absolutely golden… Thank-you Cherise.
You have said so much here Cherise, about the way we can all hold each other – in the preciousness of all that we are, without want or need, the meeting of equals. Deeply beautiful to touch upon this blog today, thank-you.
That Stillness that you describe Cherise, is so delicate and tender, and I would call it sacred. When I am in that place, life is so different from when I am rushing through life, constantly pushed by my mind, from one point to the other without a real focus or attention to any detail, which to me, makes actually the flavour of our lives. Living from that stillness is living the divine on earth, the connection I then can observe in me with all that is around, makes life a joy and a great learning too. But in a way I do know and the actual learning is to rekindle that inner connection with that what I already know, and when coming form that stillness within this connection is easily found.
It is so healing when we connect with the natural love of young children by allowing them to just be thus we have their amazing reflection and are more easily able to connect to that within ourselves. Truly a beautiful gift so freely shared.
A beautiful and tender reminder that we all equally are the natural love of a child as a Son of God.
What a beautiful reminder to us all that within each and every one of us is the little girl and the little boy who is totally open to the world and that we have a choice to bring that openness and sweetness into our adult world.
It is so beautiful to meet a child who is held in all that they are. You then get to experience a child who is very content and is not demanding or needing of attention but can sit at the table as an equal.
Children beautifully remind us of the naturally exquisite tender beings we are. A very lovely blog Chrerise.
“the natural love of a child is breath taking…” , so true, I was just imagining what would the world look like if we all maintained that natural love and openness, just being ourselves completely, through into adulthood? What an amazing world that would be.
When we allow children to be completely themselves they can teach us how beautiful it is to meet one another in that openness, respect and appreciation that they show to have with all in life.
If there is one thing I have seen is that when we give our power away to something being anything but what we are equally then this isn’t true. Even in the appreciation of children, if we don’t see we are that as well then we are playing ball with a world that doesn’t truly support the child in the first place. There is appreciation and then there is true appreciation, both have the same word in them but one has more then just an action to it. It is a living thing, a living action where you see the world as one. So in this case anything you appreciate you would see also that you are what you are seeing otherwise you couldn’t see it like you do. It doesn’t matter to what depth you see it as there is always another level to see as long as the quality holds equally.
I love the title of this blog: ‘The Natural Love of a child’ There is no trying, just naturally loving and powerfully reflecting a truer way of being.
The reflection children offer us is a blessing. I have been appreciating this more and more. When I look into a baby or a young child’s eyes, the love and clarity they reflect blows me away.
‘They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.’ I’ve observed the same in children, it is a beautiful quality. Unfortunately, many by the time become adults have discarded this to fit in with others.
It is is a blessing for me to read this article as it reminds me that we all have this capability to open up ourselves unconditionally to whoever we meet and that in these connection we can start to heal all the hurts that we have suffered form not allowing ourselves to be, feel and express the love that we all naturally are.
It’s funny when I read things like this, it’s like we are always trying to be someone else or in the regret of not being like them. It seems like at the drop of a hat we see something and want it. So when we see children, we want to be like them or see them as something we are not in a way. It’s great to truly appreciate things including children and in that the appreciation needs to hold that it comes from how you are. In other words for you to be able to see and appreciate anything it means you are that first. So in this example the reason you see children this way and can appreciate it is because that is how you are, you have that within you first. The next time you look at a child playing be aware that you know that play because it’s in you, it’s you. It’s not that you own it but you know it, you know the quality you see.
I would agree with you Cherise that there is nothing lovelier than to have a little being give you a spontaneous cuddle, so exquisite and touching. She must have felt your own beautiful energy and connection to her self!
Yes I love this about children too- the openess that they have with people. There is such beauty in this, that they haven’t measured or don’t hold back on their love.
The pure innocence of children is a reflection of what we as adults have walked away from, what an amazing opportuntiy to start to reconnect to that delicateness and playfulness within ourselves.
the wonderful thing is that we have within us, innately, the ability to know and feel exactly what is right for us at any given moment… it Is understanding this, and then learning to trust this, that is the unfolding path of re-connection
A child who is raised with the freedom to be themselves and to retain the precious honesty and wisdom that they innately are is always a delight and a joy to be with. Sadly most children are not raised in this way but are expected to fit into a picture that adults have about what a child should be; to me they should simply be allowed, and supported, to be their naturally gorgeous selves.
Children are deeply sensitive and their tenderness allows them to feel and observe everything happening around them, to have them in our lives is simply to have a reflection looking back at us – to remind us that we are this same sensitivity and tenderness too.
This is a beautiful sharing on how naturally tender, sensitive and joyful children are, and this is also a reflection of who we naturally are. How lovely that this young girl was honoured with her feelings, and so inspiring for us how life is when we live in honour of ourselves.
Children are so sensitive to the energy they feel around them and coming through another, without awareness of this fact we are unable to read their body language and signals and definitely not able to support them to continue to live and grow in this sensitivity throughout life. The fact remains that the sensitivity they naturally are is equal to that within ourselves, and the question also remains, have we been raised to know and nurture our own sensitivities too.
Re children – “They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.” How sad it is then that we as society start to impose on this loveliness from a young age. It would seem to me with early day care now more available that this shining gets buried at a younger age than it used to.
It is interesting how children are natural observers which so often is lost in adults who rather than observe Find themselves drawn in and affected. Children are a great reminder to observe and not absorb.
The wonder that children carry is super precious, they have such a natural ability to be observers of life and with the right support from the adults in their lives, they are able to continue this natural way throughout their years. Observation and understanding in life is paramount to a healthy way of living that honours ones feelings and doesn’t take on anything (that is not one’s to take on) from the outside world.
Children are our greatest teachers, they remind and inspire us of the power to simply be ourselves – innocent, open, filled with wonder and so tender and precious.
It is interesting to note how we can observe the capacity of children to love yet the same quality in there within us.
There is one thing all young children are amazing at and that is being themselves, but for some reason many adults seem to want to mould them and shape them into someone who they are not, getting them to fit into an image of what they think a child should be. I love being around a young child, such as this little girl, and seeing like you did the “little adult” that is looking back at me, trusting they will be encouraged to stay connected to who they are, bringing that childhood gorgeousness with them as they grow into adulthood.
What a gorgeous reminder through the beautiful reflection of a child not yet tainted by life…. of who we innately are and how we can choose to be in the world with ourselves and others.
A great reminder Cherise, we don’t own our children. We have a responsibility to love and connect to all children as we are all the same children and Sons of God.
One of my favourite blogs I can’t help coming back to over and over as it reflects the timelessness that was shared with the connection to this little girl. It is quite powerful how much affection we allow for each other through the simple choice to meet each other. I still get so much out of reading how this little girl was able to connect so naturally, wide eyed, simply by being herself. The affection that I have felt come through eyes that are truly met and meeting, is as powerful as the most open and embracing hug.
I found the most grace in meetings with people, be it kids or adults, when I am without a need to be different – neither me or them.
Children are truly an example of the simplicity many of us are craving in the lives we live today. Spending time with them and knowing how comfortable they are in their own skin at such a young age is a great marker for us to bring things back to basics. Whilst driving to work the other day I drove past a school zoned area and watched a little boy skipping up to the school gate. It made me to stop in my tracks and question – Do I embrace that level of joy each day being with me? A great way to start the day and pivotal reminder that each day is a choice.
To bring the utter tenderness and non judgement way of living is there in the eyes of our young children. As adults we are very quick to bring in pictures and images of how we or others should be. This gorgeous blog is a reminder of how it can be so easy if we choose it to be.
Thank you Cherise, reading this made me stop and appreciate how beautiful it is to be around children and enjoy their natural stillness, joy, and playfulness. This line really summed it all up for me ‘It was an amazing reminder of the pure and loving reflection that our children bring to our lives, and of the natural love of a child that we so easily resonate with.’ Beautifully said and very true.
This is a beautiful honouring of children. Adults so often impose on children in ways we would never tolerate ourselves. I remember as a child running away from a certain guest only to be told I had to greet him and hug him. I can’t imagine another adult demanding the same of me now, yet this is quite acceptable behaviour towards children.
Children bring to us one of the greatest gifts of all, the reminder of who we are and of the preciousness and delicateness that is natural to us; not to mention the playfulness and lightness too! There’s nothing so serious in this world that we can’t stop for a laugh or a giggle, a hug or a smile and children bring this amount of light to the world from birth.
The openess of a child is stunning as it reminds us of what we used to be like and it is a reflection of love and how relationships can be- how people naturally are with each other. As we grow we take on life and things that happen to us and we start to shut down this natural expression. The joy of a baby or young child reminds us of this. They hold a wisdom that we have sometimes forgotten.
Little ones are so honest in their bodies, in their play, in their choices and if we too are open with them they will express what they need. What a beautiful reflection this little one has brought to you. Beautiful Cherise.
I love the point you make about a child’s right to choose if they want to be affectionate or not. As you say, children are mini-adults – just adults in tiny, growing bodies – and they’re also incredibly aware and sensitive. Way more so than grown-up adults, if we’re entirely honest. So we should honour their awareness and grace them with the freedom to feel what’s right for them.
Cherise I love how you share here, that when allowed to be that children naturally know what to do and how to do it, like they are wise beyond their years, which they are. We can all learn so much from what you have shared, in that it is only by imposing our needs or wants upon children that then pushes them to leave their natural grace.
We all have a natural innate innocence… It is there within all of us, just waiting for us to let go of those heavy shields and masks that we protect ourselves with, and that age us so prematurely, and to feel, once we do start to go that return to what we delightfully and truly are.
We have to bring the awareness of parenting with true wisdom, not by reaction or anticipation or expectation, and then our children will have reflections of truth and be inspired to be this themselves.
Great re-read of this blog Cherise – how valuable is it to be reminded that family goes far beyond ‘blood lines’, and that you are able and open to feel this beautiful connection with anyone, it doesn’t have to be ‘family’. It frees up the burden some women and some men could have about having ‘their own children’ – your family can be everyone if you allow it so.
I love this reminder Cherise… the natural love, beauty and joy that young children naturally express in provides us with an opportunity to re-connect back to that same love, beauty and joy that is also within us as adults (but which often somewhere along the line of growing up, we seem to forget about!).
The depth of all of us despite our age – how we recognise the light and love of the Soul in another and how we all have our unique expressions. It is such a sign that we have an eternal part to us and it is seen in the heavenly joy and wisdom that children bring.
So true and beautifully put Simon V, that we may be the beholders of a knowing that we (and all) are so much more than meets the eye; that our very being is greater than we can even fathom at times is an exquisite blessing. To see this reflected in the eyes of a child is almost beyond expression as to just how beautiful a blessing it really is ~ we really are.
“They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be” I love spending time with children and your blog Cherise is beautiful. Thank you.
I remember how awful it was when I was made to give extended family or friends hugs even if every part of my body was screaming no. I feel this is where pretending, fake-ness and being not genuine can start…when we don’t honour our true feelings, which may be not to hug, and push through to please others. Your story Cherise was lovely to read how the little girl was left to simply be herself and choose what felt right for her.
I agree Simon and there is no ‘ownership’ from anyone, especially the woman or mother in owning a child as in true connection with anyone (of any age) there is only equality and equal cherishing of each other’s lives.
This is a huge consciousness Cherise, that we own our children. It has been a big one for me to step out of. I fall in and out of this belief at times, and it has a big impact on how I parent.
I understand what you share here Aimee, it is a huge revelation for the whole world to understand that we actually don’t own anyone! ..When I understand the science of reincarnation and the many lives that we have lived I cannot but feel how equal my child and I must be to one another and how ageless we really are. When this is the case, how could we possibly be more or less than another or own someone as our own when we are equally here to learn and reflect and evolve.
This is a great explanation Cherise about ‘cluckiness’ often portrayed as the maternal need for a baby – how it may relate to our disconnect from ourselves and how in our full claiming of stillness and nurturing energy, we can share our warmth and love and tenderness with a young child just as much as they can share it with us – so there is no need or feeling or attachment in that sharing and this makes it all the more powerful.
Reading this again today brings me to really appreciate (very yummy inside) all the children that I meet daily. Their openness, joy and inspirational enthusiasm is abundant. Looking you straight in the eye – and gently holding you in their awesomeness – which is reflected back in all its beauty.
I agree Marion, just observing the children in the photo for this blog you can see and feel the connection and joy in their eyes.
And they’ll look you in the eye whoever you are! I often notice how children will do this in the shopping centres or when you are out and about, they don’t see you as any different to them and yet will look with curiosity if you are displaying a behaviour that is anything less than the natural stillness or connectedness that we all come from. I distinctly recall as I grew older when I would catch the eyes of another and it almost became ‘rude’ or not allowed to do so, as if you were staring or not able to look; from here bred the behaviours of less eye contact and therefore less natural connection amongst us all.
Great point Cherise. I often feel uncomfortable if I notice I have been looking at someone and they notice – I straight away feel like I was staring and being rude or something. Amazing to talk about as I can feel that is not true, I am not rude I am just curious and looking at the other person as I love looking into peoples eyes and connect.
Yes and how crazy that we shy away from this natural ability to connect deeply with each other through a simple gaze. I wonder if not only do we hold back from looking at someone like this, creating our relationships with those close to us and seeming strangers with a shallowness to our eyes out of protection. But could it be a false protection that has been bred from thoughts that we will be hurt, judged or dare I say it “seen” for the beauty and interconnectedness we really reflect and come from. Here’s to more “being seen!” I say!
The reflection of someone who has openness and purity to their quality is someone who naturally reminds us all that we are equal and we radiate our own qualities in what is felt as our natural equality.
Cherise when I read this section “her playfulness of giggles and smiles had no limit and no reservation,” I imagined myself as an adult doing the same. There was instantly a voice inside my head that said ” you cannot do this in public, you are too old for giggles and smiles of joy, that is only for children!”. How ridiculous is that? Yet I feel as we get older we allow this untruth to rule us and we stop expressing our joy so openly. This little girl taught everyone in that cafe, that day, not to listen to that voice and also reflected to all present what was really just below the surface in everyone there,. What is available to all just beyond the choice to say YES to life and love.
I love this too Irena! what is exposed here is that we need to not shy away from the purity and loveliness we really are throughout all of our days.
Its fine by me Irena, I love to hear giggles of joy from adults and children alike.
I can relate to that silly restrictive voice Irena that says ‘you’re an adult, you can’t do this or that’. Today I had a lovely sign to be joyful and let it out. While I was walking on my lunch break a lady and her young daughter passed me beaming with smiles and laughing and playing together. I said to myself ‘oh what joy’ and as I did I saw 3 angels on a window frame. There are signs everywhere reminding us of how playful we truly are. We’ve just pushed it down under beliefs and ideals we have taken on from looking outside of ourselves.
Young children are such great levellers because they are and can’t help but be just themselves. A group of disaffected adults can only melt when there’s a child present who is able to ‘naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be’. Key here is the allowing them to just be.
Yes and knowing this allowing for ourselves too! There can come a point in our young lives where we begin to feel unaccepted, jealousy toward us or the fact that we don’t quite fit in and unfortunately come to choose a lesser way of living to not feel this; but this doesn’t have to be the way.
Beautiful article Cherise and a great reminder that we all can learn a lot from observing and appreciating the wisdom, presence and true purity of a child with the full appreciation that we all have that same natural grace and love equally within.
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful experience Cherise. It’s lovely to be able to feel the tender and gentle nature of this little girl as you describe your morning together and how crucial it is to allow children to make choices for themselves about who they choose to be affectionate with without any imposition from another.
Thank you Cherise for a very beautiful blog, to allow a child to just be and feel the joyfulness and inner knowing ,that they innately are to flourish, with out any imposition is rare in our society today.
Isn’t it crazy in a sense that we are all having a conversation about letting someone else ‘just be’ themselves? Would this not be our absolutely normal way of life if we all chose and developed this relationship and allowing with ourselves. If we then allowed ourselves ‘to be’ how could we not allow this for our children (and everyone else) too?
It’s very easy to want a child to confirm our value and worth and lose sight of the way the child is their own separate being. Our role as adults is to support a child to learn to hold their self knowing and self appreciation in a world that constantly tries to tell them otherwise. It really highlights to me the importance of finding that secure base in ourselves because then it is so natural to support another, regardless of age. Thanks Cherise for sharing such a rich story.
You are very welcome Helen and this is a great point, how has it come to be that our own self-worth relies so heavily upon anything that we do or do not do and this includes the way that we parent another human being?
There really is a whole new paradigm of parenting that we can enter into, where we come not from concepts and beliefs, but from the ability to feel exactly what to do and to trust that knowing.
This is very true Jill, when we allow others to simply be themselves we are blessed with the divine grace and loveliness that they are and all others involved (to the ends of the universe) cannot but heal from their qualities and presence.
Thank you Cherise this is such a beautiful blog to read, the tenderness and love expressed between you and this child, underlies a deep sense of knowing the oneness of the love we all come from. I love these words”They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.” when others allow them to just be, this is the key.
Reading your blog Cherise is nothing short of devine
The reflection children offer us daily is that life is a joy and their natural playfulness lights me up everytime. It is a beautiful reminder that we all hold these qualities within too. Thank you Cherise.
Absolutely Simon, with the permission to be themselves and the space to consistently expand who they are as they learn, grow and develop their expression we would have a much more deeply connected and accepting human race on our hands.
I deeply felt the message conveyed here about the natural, timeless love and joy that comes from children of all ages, unadulterated. I chose that word unadulterated, without bitterness or regret as I have felt it equally there for me as a man in his fifties and that it is truly ageless. I love the simple and powerful way that it was shared how that love also comes with wisdom and that any child can make choices for themselves if they are truly met and allowed to.
Thank you all for your continued expression on the natural love of a child, when we as children claim the awareness we hold and the amazing qualities we bring to all those around us we are in our true authority. This authority can be lived with the true purpose that we are here for, to bring a great reflection of love to others and to heal the world through just being ourselves and not holding back our lightness and our playfulness. The beautiful thing is, if we have forgotten it, we can reconnect to our true purpose and authority at any time in our lives and at any age.
As we relearn how to be our true selves, our children will have the reflection they need to celebrate themselves, and to feel who they truly are.
Children are simply amazing and there is just as much that adults can learn from them as they can learn from us.
It is such pity, Michael that many adults do not feel the reciprocity of learning in the relationship between an adult and a child and use power and control to ensure the child shuts down their essence. We need to appreciate the amazingness of our children and the reflections they present.
Beautiful Cherise, it is so true, we should never impose on our children, or any child or person. It is actually self-ish to expect from a child to hug you or do what you want them to do, I can feel that it is that ‘natural spunk within them’ that needs to be left for what it is without any imposition. I am from opinion that only then we can let a child be all of who they are and explore who they are even more and growing into that absolute lovely, tender, playful and cheekyness they got within!
Cherise, a lovely blog to read, a hug from a child is so full of love. And your friend brought up a great point, “My friend and I spoke about the imposition that we can easily place on our children to be affectionate with an adult, just because they are family or because it is expected of them; forgetting the fact that everyone has a right to choose what feels right for them, including our children.” Children are often far more aware than we are ourselves.
It’s absolutely beautiful to feel how this little girl is being allowed to be herself, and being cared for by those who appreciate and reflect back the same preciousness to her.
Yes Sue it is horrible to see a child full of love hug someone they do not want to because they are told to, it is the start of fake affection, and is no substitute for the real thing. As all children are super sensitive I do not get offended when a child does not want to hug me, I take it that I am not so open and loving with people in general and that is something I have to work on.
It is indeed lovely to be around a child just being natural, we could certainly learn a lot. I have always enjoyed the company of children without understanding that it was their freedom to just be that I was enjoying, so I really appreciate you putting your observations into words Cherise.
Reading this blog again I feel really touched by it. The open tenderness you share is exquisite and from it I feel a deeper openness within myself.
Thank you Jonathan, what I can appreciate is that the depth of tenderness we can reach within ourselves is actually never ending when we allow ourselves to feel, honour and surrender ourselves to it. Tenderness is one of the most beautiful things we can feel, from the warmth in our hearts to the tender delicate connection we have in our body and of course can live with others too. What if open tenderness was our natural way of living on this earth? what if we were not protecting ourselves from what we think may hurt us or holding on to hurts we’ve carried and just let everyone in to see and feel our own tenderness? Perhaps we would feel that they too have equal tenderness within them and we would basque in the glorious exquisiteness together.
What a joyful and confirming blog to read Cherise thank you for sharing. With no impositions upon them children surely do reflect the love, joy and playfulness of heaven – our true state of being.
Just allowing a child to be without any imposition can be deeply healing to see just how truly gorgeous and loving and how aware we are of ourselves and those around us when offered the space to be so and before being tainted by life and all that is imposed upon us.
Children have much to offer us, as a reflection of what we all naturally are, but we made the choice to turn our backs on and walk away from. How ever much we have been rejected or hurt, the choice to return back to the joy, love and playfulness is always there, if we are prepared to face our hurts.
Absolutely Thomas, and when we face our hurts we find out that we have been the ones holding onto them for a very long time instead of feeling them and letting them go… hurts, just like energy, are designed to be felt, honoured and literally done with from the understanding that the love that we are can never actually be hurt and so hurts don’t actually need to be carried around on our backs. Sometimes it’s this fact that we don’t want to feel, because we have identified with feeling hurt for so long. Love is no victim, it shine’s fiery light no matter what.
The natural tender openness and joy of a child touches and opens even the most guarded, protected and hurt person, as we all recognise and or remember this state of being, as something we once were, and when we choose still are now.
This also reminds us that we don’t have to wait for someone else to open up before we let go or drop our own hardness… to stand tall, grand and full of love is a gift for ourselves and all others as we then know we don’t have to hold the world ransom to be their powerhouse of love before we will. We drop expectations and needs and hold a purpose in expression who we are ~ love.
Cherise you have captured the absolute love and grace that children bring to us when we choose not to impose. I too have felt those moment when they hold us with complete openness and invite us into their hearts.
It surely is and when you think about it, we don’t walk around as adults asking others if they’re going to hug someone. The mood would be clearly uncomfortable! and yet we have placed this onto our children, perhaps it’s come from thinking of them as less or taking the authoritative stance and perhaps buying into the emotional manipulation that people have needs that they want filled to fill their own lack of self worth. If this is the case, would it not be more wise to work on why it is that we have a void to be filled? How could this even be the case when we are made of love and only love? When we stop measuring what we think others want and need from us we can begin to honestly look at what it is that we truly need.
Cherise, the way you have written this blog is exquisite and beautiful. What a lovely meeting of three people being themselves in the natural tenderness, stillness, joyfulness and love that we are. It is lovely to see and feel a child being herself with no imposition from the parent which is very uncommon these days as most parents are trying to control their child’s behaviour instead of letting them be.
We can feel this from the parent, others and the majority of society really, that imposition to be something they are not and their delicate nature becomes squashed.
“The natural love of a child is breathtaking…” So true Cherise. Working in a supermarket I get to meet some amazing children that are so open, loving and caring. They chat to me as if they have known me all their life and tell me about the things that are happening in their day. It is one of the perks of the job, it is school holidays at the moment so I have the grace of seeing their smiling faces regularly. I love chatting to the mothers too, it may only be a few words but it is amazing how much can be said in such a short while. It is a real joy to share a few moments with each family as they go through the check outs and continue with the rest of their day.
That natural flow of joy that children have to just be themselves – no trying – allowing themselves to be who they truly are in all their glory. Just being with children taps in to our own knowing that we too have that inner child within us – and that joy is very contagious, warm and inspiring. Just like this beautiful sharing with us Cherise – thank you.
Your blog Cherise invites me to re connect to my natural sweetness and to appreciate this as a quality I have instead of pushing it away as I have done in my life, thank you for this gorgeous sharing.
I returned to this blog today and found myself blown away Cherise. This natural innate beauty we have as a young child truly is ageless. If we can actually live this quality as adults too, what if this is all the world is here for us to do?
Cherise your appreciation and account of the grace, delicateness and tenderness you witnessed in the little girl is delightful to read. Children can be a great reminder of this natural expression that many of us have closed off to and perhaps forgotten. When, instead of trying to mold them into our needs and expectations, we take the time to appreciate and meet them for who they are, we are in turn blessed with the inspiration they bring.
That is a beautiful Golnaz, “…instead of trying to mold them into our needs and expectations, we take the time to appreciate and meet them for who they are.”
Golnaz, love what you have said here. To appreciate a child is immense as it is sending a message that you accept their natural expression and that they do not have to be something else to fit in. And I agree children are a blessing in showing us how to be.
What an absolutely beautiful blog to read and feel Cherise. Your words so full of love and appreciation. Thank you for sharing this beautiful encounter, my body responded by being in it’s own exquisite stillness.
Cherise, feeling you and your connection to yourself and your friends little girl connected me back to my own joy and playfulness and openness as a tiny child, thank you for that.
I love how you didn’t impose but allowed for her to make the choice to come to you in her own timing when she held your finger, I can also feel that the connection had already been made well before this and that was just the confirmation and the completion. True honouring.
It was lovely to come back and read this as I am now reminded of a presentation whereby that knowingness and grace is there from the start and always with us, just simply not practiced as we age. But the fact that you clocked how you felt equal to her just goes to show how it is still there and available to be felt when given the space to do such. And small children have that space in abundance, they just look you in the eyes and I often get the sense that they are looking at something much deeper than I can for now see in myself but never the less I now find it fun to look back at them with a curiosity, in the past I could never hold a small child’s gaze, it simply unnerved me. But what I have learnt is that I was simply not willing to look at the reflection of an openness I had for many years not practiced.
What a beautiful day you had and share with us. To feel the absolute love of this child and to be equal to her, what a yummy experience. This is the life we truly are and this is what we leave, when we are disconnected to our essence, both children and adults, they are just closer but they also sometimes choose to leave that yummyness, affected by us the adults. I love the moment when “she snuggled in to my arms and chest with as much warmth as she could”.
We only have to ask ourselves how often we ‘snuggle into the arms and chest with as much warmth as we can’ with anyone that we know to open up what would be a very revealing and telling conversation.
Cherise the way you describe your time with this little girl is very touching. I love how you observed her choices from moment to moment and how beautiful and gracious she felt. It was like you were seeing yourself in her and appreciating how very special we all are.
Cherise I absolutely adore your sharing of such a tender moment, with your friends little one. As a Grandmother I am lucky enough to share many beautiful moments with my Grandchildren, they are all precious. Obviously the Little child must have felt your loving tenderness and the fact that you met her as an equal .
I went to a family member’s 80th birthday recently. There, my nephews were present, both of which I’ve not spent a lot of time with. To begin with, they were distracted and busy enjoying a crowd of people and a new room. In time, I was able to spend some time holding and playing with each of these little chaps. I too felt the beauty and gentleness of them, enjoyed some giggles and fun with them. It was lovely to let them come to me when they felt comfortable, rather than imposing my authority as their uncle to demand their attention. Their openness and loveliness completely changed the feeling of the get-together, I feel we learn so much from children when we allow them to be our teachers too.
It was beautiful to come back to this Cherise and feel the natural power of love. How when we are connected to our hearts we can witness and feel the presence and wisdom of God that is reflected through our children. ‘It was an amazing reminder of the pure and loving reflection that our children bring to our lives, and of the natural love of a child that we so easily resonate with.’ – beautifully said.
It’s so true that we can inadvertently impose on our children by requiring them to show affection to others – especially so with wider family. It’s in fact a demand for a public exhibition from the child of how polite, sweet, cute and gorgeous our offspring are and it asks them to go into doing rather than being, to the extent it can become a reluctant, learned response. I can recall as a small child being told to ‘go and say goodbye to X’ – many an X – which was euphemism for acting the good girl, being centre stage for a moment whilst held in a vice-like hug to receive a hideous wet kiss. Yeuk. Great that the little girl you met was given the grace to make her own choices and in so doing could just be herself.
Gorgeous to read your words here Cherise and feel how this child’s natural loving way lives on with you too. As you put it hugging her, when we feel it we just know. So simple and so beautiful.
when we return to that natural connection with our inner self, the choices that we make then will naturally support that ongoing connection with our natural innocence and its accompanying strength
Thank you Cherise, for sharing the beauty that we all are, and can connect with. Not imposing and feeling no imposition is truly freeing.
Cherise I have recently had a personal revelation in regards to becoming an adult. My whole life I have believed that it is not biologically possible to feel the way that we did as kids when we are adults. In the same way as the size of our feet grow I believed that we grow out of the feelings that we have as children. It is only recently since I have been feeling a lot of the wonders of childhood in my body that it has dawned on me that the beliefs that I held about transitioning into an adult were not true at all and that it is possible for the qualities that we have as children to continue into adulthood.
So true Alexis and imagine if all children were allowed the freedom to express the way this little girl was allowed to with no imposition or beliefs from other adults, we would never loose that child like innocence and the exquisite joy and quality of life as we move into adulthood. Cherise captured to moment so beautifully that I could feel and appreciate the moment and how inspiring this is. It is also a moment for me to reflect and be aware to allow children to just be, even trying to engage with them when they are happy just observing what is going can be an imposition.
I felt how tender, delicate and precious a child is in your story Cherise. How honoring the three of you reflected this in your interactions. It is beautiful to read. And sad some how the many times we didn’t get this as children and then as adults, the missed opportunities with our children.
What kids feel (and they do feel everything) is a delicate subject. In Spanish there is a saying, kids and drunks always tell the truth. Not sure about drunks, but I am regarding kids. The truth of how they feel may be on the confirming side (like in this case) or on the reactive side. I do remember my own daughter crying like crazy when she was young every time crying when we met a specific group of friends in a social occasion where alcohol played a part. She could not stop to the point that we had to leave sooner than later. At the time, could not understand why she was crying. Now I know that it was her way to share with us what she was feeling was really going on at an energetic level. She was protecting us.
Such a beautiful blog Cherise. I have thought for a long time in my life I ‘was not good with children’ but recently I had a very different experience which absolutely made me feel how not true that ideal of me was. It was just that in the past I did not let myself just be me. I then needed the attention from children and was very unnatural and not naturally open and lovely as I am.
One of the many true miracles that abound is when we, as adults, return to that state of innocence, with the grace and strength of wisdom.
Beautifully put Chris. A friend described me yesterday as having an innocence and gracefulness that inspires her. In the past I would have borked at someone describing me as having an ‘innocence like a child’ because I saw it as immature or weak… crazy looking back at this ideal! Now I was able to accept and appreciate knowing this about myself.
I agree Cherise it is so important not to impose our needs onto children who will surley feel the imposition.
This is a beautiful reminder of the love and tenderness that is naturally in us all as young children and a quality that is always within us when we choose to be inspired by another – particularly an open, loving 2 year old.
So gorgeous Cherise, yes the natural love of a child, looking with clear open eyes of wonder, unaffected (as yet) by life’s events or drama, young children resonate with such purity and stillness, they know exactly who is safe to be with, or not – they honour their feelings, and it is for us as adults to honour and confirm them in this feeling to develop as they grow in self-trust and confidence, two of the greatest qualities so frequently missing in so many adults.
This is simply exquisite Cherise. I loved feeling the absolute joy that this little girl expressed so naturally – not holding in one ounce of what she felt.
A gorgeous reminder that we are all this beauty, just waiting to be let out and shared with each other.
Gorgeous Cherise ! Sounds like a beautiful connection. Children are so stunning. Your right about the part of imposing the needs we have onto children, its not a wonder why they say no to hugs.
Exquisite sharing Cherise. The natural openness, gentle and loving way your friend’s little girl was with you is so beautiful. I have also experienced something similar and noticed how I change by observing a child’s reflection of how they are naturally, they remind me to reconnect to that tender, warm, gentle and loving way that is within me too. I find myself slow down in my movements, the way I talk to them and it is an absolutely amazing experience to be around children and appreciate them for just being themselves.
Cherise I spent time with my 5 month old grandson today, and there is so much joy in looking into his wide dark eyes, watching him explore his own movements and whatever is around him, and feeling his warmth and trust. There is so much to learn from a baby about love.
I love how much children observe- I was sitting at an airport today and a mother and her 18 month old daughter were sitting next to me waiting to get on a plane. The little girl was so gorgeous- she would walk up to people and smile at them with a real intrigue and openess to meeting different people. She walked around and stopped and looked at a piece of paper on the floor fascinated that it was there, she found everything interesting and her facial expressions and delight with each new thing was captivating- everyone around was watching her and enjoying her and her responses to everything- there was just delight and joy. Imagine if we never let go of this innocence, playfulness, openess to people and joy in life.
This is so beautiful Kristy, thank you. Imagine indeed… you can really feel the sense of this little girl that without any imposition from others or taking ideals on for herself, she is simply just being. No wonder everyone was captivated by her, divinity in movement right there!
Very beautiful comment Kristy. I can imagine the world to be a very different place if we never let go of this innocence, playfulness, openness to people and joy in life. The world would be in complete harmony, absolutely magical. I find it extremely captivating to watch children be their natural self because they remind me that I was like that once too and that I can reconnect to who I am again any time, it is simply a matter of choice.
Very beautiful! So awesome to read about true love for a child and its preciousness without imposing on it only because it is little. Thank you for sharing.
Cherise what has struck me with your blog is how much this little girl was just being herself. It has led me to think that her parents must support her to just be herself with imposing onto her that she had to give you a cuddle or be a certain way with you. Isn’t it lovely when we have the reflection of a child being themselves and to recognise that this is how we all can be too, simply ourselves if we so choose to be.
Wow, the feeling of tenderness, openness and exquisite grace in this little girl and yourself is just gorgeous. From connecting with your words I can also feel how much this is equally within in me too, what a beautiful reminder, thank you 🙂
Hi Cherise, I love this blog and could really feel the little girl snuggling into you. When we hold a child we hold love and its the most beautiful thing to behold.
What a beautiful, honest, and real reflection we get from children, we as adults have much to learn from them. Thank you Cherise.
Cherise – I absolutely loved what you shared about the innate qualities of young children – their innocence, wisdom, stillness, joy, playfulness and love. And a beautiful reminder that we too share these qualities within our inner heart.
I love reading your comment Loretta, awesome reminder for me too and beautifully expressed, thank you.
“The natural love of a child is breathtaking”…
Breathtaking indeed and what a precious gift.
Thank you Cherise for highlighting this.
Cherise your blog touched my me deeply in feeling what you are sharing is so true. It also presented some sadness that I was not always in the place within myself to met to honour my own children with much love when they were little. The beautiful thing is that I can now connect with my grown children and all people in a way that knows the beauty and love that we all naturally are.
Just read this beautiful blog again and can feel how I have let go of the sadness I felt about my own children. I can just feel how amazing it is to be able to willing to meet every person for who they naturally are.
I too felt a sadness about not meeting my child with this deep love and appreciation when she was young as I parented the only way I knew how. Today is different as I have an understanding and a connection to who I truly am offering love to my adult child and to all.
This is really sweet and reminds me of when I felt like this as a child. In fact I now realise that we are still these delicate, sweet, sensitive and refind little people, and we can re-begin to honour ourselves in this any time we choose, just being ourselves and nothing else, with no trying or no fitting in.
This is beautiful to read and feel Cherise, a great sharing of the tenderness we most naturally are as we choose to express it so. Thank you for the reminder.
Cherise…I loved reading this story as I was right there with you feeling the sweetness and innocence of this little girl. So beautiful to feel…
When you said…’It was like I had known her forever, although we had only just met.’…I feel this symbolizes the eternal knowing we all have inside of us that connects us all…the stillness within us all, that binds us all, and has no boundaries.
When I was at the airport frequent flyer lounge on the weekend, a family sat across from me and the little girl sat right in front of me. She could not stop looking at me as she could feel the connection of playfulness and openness. We were exchanging smiles. Kids in their natural essence are such great teachers of love…she was showing me how easy it is to connect and be open with others. Each of us offering the beauty within with others.
Thank you Cherise for so beautifully describing how we have the opportunity of really meeting children and appreciating them for who they truly are without imposing on them and delighting in how we are can feel through life and let others in more fully.
Cherise, this is Such a beautiful blog, a great start to my day which is being spent with a bright eyed 2 1/2 year old!
Children do have the brightest of eyes, a sign of their pureness, connection and sensitivity. In stark contrast so many of us as adults have eyes that have lost their spark. The wonderful thing is that our eyes can and do return to their original brightness once we return to our original pureness, connection and sensitivity.
Thank you Cherise for reminding me that children truly can show us the path back to where we all come from — Heaven.
A beautiful sharing Cherise. Those moments when a child looks into your eyes, nothing need be said as you can feel an unspoken understanding. It’s like a cuddle of unconditional love.
The picture you have painted here, Cherise, with your beautiful expression is one of pure joy. It brought back some moments in time where I too have had such a connection with a child. The simple act of being with ourselves in the presence of a child has the opportunity of gifts being bestowed, for us as well as them. Your sharing is asking me to ponder on why these moments mostly seem to only happen with children and what is stopping me (us) from allowing a similar connection with others we meet, including adults. Hmmmmm…..
What a beautiful blog Cherise. So beautifully and tenderly written.
I love your line “They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be”.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could take this way of living, which is innate in all of us, with us into adulthood, what a wonderful world it would be.
And so beautiful Sandra that it is never too late to bring the joy, playfulness and absolute knowing to our lives and into our every day. Only yesterday, whilst studying I could hear young children giggling from a yard not too far away and each time I heard them in such natural joy it reminded me that I too am that joy on the inside – always and forever and at every age.
“They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them”. Children simply are open and aware because it is our natural way of being, for all of us. The fact that the majority of adults have shut down both their awareness and their openness is indicative of just how far from our natural way of being we have drifted. And to think that as adults we believe that ‘we know best’ is actually pretty ugly because it is through the ignorance of our beliefs that we then corrupt the purity and majesty of kids.
Ahh, the beauty and magic to be found in the simplicity of a child who has not succumbed to the world demanding they be one way or another, but are within the fullness of themselves.
As adults our role is to keep children safe, to guide them through the perils of this world.
Other than that, we can sit back, observe and remember how wonderful it was and can be again to live life from a place of splendid wonder.
How gorgeous Julie, that we have been bestowed such an important role as to foster and nurture all of our children to be in their fullness and that the way we do this is from living it for and with ourselves first.
Your article is such a confirmation, Cherise. The delicateness you felt in your friend’s daughter, the tenderness and simplicity – all is felt in the way you observe, in your writing, in the pace and flow of phrases… It’s so true. The little girl reflected back your love and beauty.
Thank you Felix, and for confirming that the quality we are and live comes through everything as expression is everything and everything can be deeply read and felt by every other, naturally.
It is amazing how naturally loving and alive children are, and it is also amazing to know that I too, am loving, vibrant and playful from the inside out. It is only my insecurities and doubts that get in the way of me expressing my truth and love naturally and beautifully as a child does.
Absolutely Gretel, beautifully expressed.
Cherise what you capture through your powers of observation is simply beautiful. I have often thought that as adults we impose upon the small people in our lives to fulfil our own needs of wanting cuddles and connection. You remind us all to be more attentive to the signs children give and how they are capable of registering their needs if given the space by adults. Thank you.
Cherise, a great catch up. When you spoke of ‘My friend and I spoke about the imposition that we can easily place on our children to be affectionate with an adult’ reminded me of being a young mother and falling for this also and then feeling embarrassed if your child chose not to perform or smile. Our children know it all and we as adults are to observe, as you did. Beautiful blog, thank you.
A beautiful sharing Cherise of a whole-hearted encounter with innocence and beauty. Truly a lovely connection with a child who is totally connected to herself, humanity and God.
Beautiful and heartwarming article Cherise. Isn’t it great that we can just choose to let go of everything that is keeping us from just being ourselves.
There is so much that we can learn from kids when we just observe and have those loving boundaries in place, allowing them to be themselves
Cherise, this is such a beautiful blog about an experience I never had in my life. Thank you for sharing. What you write is very touching.
This blog brings such a feeling of tenderness and delight of the sharing you had together, I really loved reading it. Children are so free of expectations and can just be themselves if we don’t impose our beliefs on them. Truly lovely.
What a beautiful exchange between the three of you. How gorgeous for this little girl to feel women being together in stillness, without jealousy or comparison. And what a lovely reminder for us all of how easy it is to be open and loving when we are just being ourselves.
Exactly Fiona, another point to appreciate, that women can absolutely be together and in the knowing and acceptance of ourselves this allows the equal platform for both to stand on.
Cherise your words are expressed with such tenderness and warmth. I also agree that all children naturally know how to be themselves. Their joy is infectious and it is a beautiful reminder to us all.
Watch what happens when you put adults in a room with a new born or young baby …. They melt. All their reserves come down and they are so gentle with the child. They are attentive and give full focus and care in the child’s presence.
Children show where we have come from, how much underneath the exterior we are ALL love inside. They break barriers down.
Imagine if we were like this with everyone we met!
Imagine indeed. There is a transparency that is possible as a living, breathing way to be and in this way we don’t require any exterior force to keep ourselves out from others or from letting them in.
That’s right Alison…babies & children are such great teachers when they are their natural tender selves. I have always loved the honesty, openness, playfulness and ‘say it as it is’ approach that children often bring to the world. It really does expose how much we move away from our natural selves as we move into adulthood with all the layers of protection and masks that we carry. Kids often show us how we can so easily be love & let people in.
That surely was a beautiful moment to share with the world, Cherise. I too am often struck by the natural openness and innocent beauty that is within a child. They have a knowingness that seems to be far beyond their age. How come we lose all this as we age and become engaged more with the outer world? It is truly an honour to share time with children who are supported to hold their own natural power as they go out into the world.
Great question Susan Lee, could it be that when we are looking around us and we see everyone else more engaged with the outer world (and not in connection with their own inner knowing first) that we feel deeply hurt by what we see and make choices to either not want to feel that hurt or to fit in with what looks to be ‘the norm’?
This was certainly my experience as a small child, when all I longed for was to live my innocence and beauty but the world around me was giving me the impression that this part of me needed to be somehow protected. A far reach from what I feel and want to live today, my openness and fragility are strengths that support me all throughout my day and the beauty that I am is for all to see.
What an empowering blog Cherise Holt. I can feel how important it is to allow and accept the natural beauty and love form a child to be expressed. I can feel that if we are not open and willing to accept this love and tenderness, that is so naturally there within our children, we are telling them to be in another way, to disconnect from to their inner beauty in order to stop reflecting this love to us.
I agree Nico, and what a responsibility we have to ensure we support our children to understand what it is that they are feeling, before they have the words for it, they can feel energy and we are the ones who can help them to make sense of what it is they experience as they learn to express.
If only we did ‘support our children to understand what it is that they are feeling’, but so often we don’t. We bring our caste iron beliefs into their lives and like heavy x-ray vests we place our beliefs over the tops of our kids. So our once unencumbered kids are suddenly laden with ours and societies beliefs which in turn radically effects their view of life and how they are in the world.
A beautiful blog and a beautiful reminder that the delicateness, love and beauty of the child is in us always.
“The delicateness, love and beauty of the child is in us always.” Definitely something to never forget.
Feeling the absolute delicateness of children makes me melt. I have also noticed how quickly this can change, particularly once they enter school. Having adults around that allow themselves to be delicate and tender is such a gift for our children as it says to them – ‘be you’.
I find little children are such precious reminders of what I left behind over the course of my life and are a constant reflection of the type of presence I am working on returning to. Lovely blog Cherise, thank you!
Gorgeous blog Cherise! I also am so appreciative of the quality of stillness in our body, I actually feel like a child again!, or that’s how describe it. And what wonderful observations that children are just like us. They have a quality of openness and joy that is so real and so inspiring. Today I had a young man come up to me at work and ask me about watermelon juice, and as I was talking I realised I had started talking to him like he was completely my equal, not with that usual tone that we speak down to children with, the “cute’ tone. I actually felt that he felt very honoured by that and so did his mother, it was very refreshing for them to see someone treating him as equal.
Congratulations to the mother of the precious little girl, as her daughter trusts that she can be open and affectionate to a stranger immediately if she feels safe. How beautiful is that to feel as you did Cherise, showing us that we still have that warmth and trust and discernment within ourselves.
Absolutely beautiful Bernadette.
A lovely reminder Cherise that children are little people who deserve to be treated as equals. They are not clean slates for us to impose our own beliefs and ideals onto but precious souls that reflect the joy of living from their hearts.
The picture of the two young kids is absolutely stunning too! It is heaven shining through.
What an exquisite sharing! To connect to that innate joy and natural way to express it, as you experienced with this young girl, brings up regret in me for not giving myself the permission to live this myself as much as I could.
I can relate to the sadness of not living this way with ourselves firstly and foremost and yet how much appreciation is there for the fact that we now know deeply that this way of living is indeed possible, and only ever a simple choice away. There is so much joy and natural expression happening all around me to be inspired by.
Thank you so much for this wonderful reminder. You wrote: “It was an amazing reminder of the pure and loving reflection that our children bring to our lives, and of the natural love of a child that we so easily resonate with.” For me children are everything even though I am not a mother. For me children are our gold and we as adults have to take care of them in a way that they can be who they truly are.
Absolutely Ester, and when we take care of ourselves in this same and naturally nurturing way we easily raise our children with the equal choices to be the light they naturally are.
Cherise , what you have exposed here is the huge expectation we put on children to meet our needs and often compensating for how we may not have been met as a child. Maybe we just need to feel and appreciate their reflected expression coming from their clairsentience and know that we too can be this again. This is what happens when we are in stillness as you were.
Very true Anne, and I agree that appreciation of our awareness – our natural ability to be aware and feel energy without doubt is important because this ability is what guides and supports us in our every moment and in life. It’s precious beyond measure.
Awesome Cherise! Children are just so amazing as they are unreservedly themselves. It’s the most wonderful feeling when a child genuinly wants to give you a hug without the push of the parents forcing them to be ‘polite’. I’m so very aware these days of how quickly we like to start controlling children. It’s quite scary really.
Yes I agree Elodie that young children are amazing, as they are simply just being themselves. Sadly this doesn’t, in general, last too long as the pressures and expectations placed on them by those closest to them begin to damper the natural innocence and joy, and they slowly become who others expect, and want them to be. It is up to us to nurture and raise our children to be who they truly are, in a world that is set up to challenge this at every step.
There is such a sweet innocence and warmth about the child you describe, Cherise. She shows us what lies beneath us all. Being in the company of little ones, allows me to just melt, open my heart and to connect to this fact about myself.
I agree Rachel, and it is in allowing ourselves to melt within ourselves that can open us up to this same opportunity with adults and others around us as well.
Beautiful blog Cherise. It is amazing to feel your stillness and power of just allowing without imposing and that leading to loving choices.
Beautiful Cherise and I have seen this in children too, they are simply little adults, no different from us other then that they have not yet adapted who they are to what is being imposed upon them from outside. It is amazing how many see children as not able to make choices and then we as adults decide to make them for them where it would be so much wiser to observe our children and let our choices be inspired by their natural way of being and their still so obvious love.
It’s as though we forget ourselves just how much we were aware of when we were small, but it seems that this comes from the intellect trying to remember things that were spoken or specifics of situations – but I have found that when I just ask myself ‘how I felt’ at certain times, ages and moments I know with absolute truth what I felt and was aware of; what felt right and what did not. Because we have not fostered and nurtured this kind of communication with ourselves as we’ve grown into adults we can be fooled to think that because we don’t recall things, we were unaware, which is simply not true.
Reminds me of the little child in all of us just waiting to burst out with fun, joy and beauty. Just embracing life!
Absolutely Joshua, let them burst out! no holding back.
What a beautiful experience & sharing. So simply & beautifully a child expresses & leaves us in wonder of how amazing they are in the way they interact/express with how they feel with freedom rather than how it will be accepted, until the world tells them otherwise. We are all that child within with layers of what the world showed us &,we moulded to those ways to be accepted growing up. It is now so obvious that all we need to do is listen to our inner child/heart & express & live from there. Thank you Cherise.
Beautiful Cherise I loved reading this blog as it reminds me that I have been a child with so much knowing as well and it actually invites me to re-connect to that and live with this wisdom today.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us Cherise. It is such a beautiful reminder of the sweetness that children naturally are and express when we do not impose how they ‘should’ be or express. And when we do allow them to be we are blessed with the divinity they bring for us to share. Thank you for reminding us of the gift that our children naturally are.
Thank you Carola, allowing of expression is our natural way of living and when we begin to incorporate and dedicate to this way of living it becomes even more clear how much we can impose energy on others and how this is never Ok.
While reading this blog I could connect to this open, tender and joyful feeling within myself, How precious we all are, children are a true reflection what is in us all, more or less on the outside but always inside. It felt if I saw you with your friend and her daughter, beautiful Cherise!
Cherise you experienced a moment of pure joy with this little girl. Thank you for sharing.
Beautiful blog Cherise, you capture the essence of a child so wonderfully – it is so amazing just to connect with them without trying to make them like us or trying to be ‘the boss’ with them. I know that I can feel the sweet, playful and silly side of me when I stop and just connect with a child – it’s a reminder that it is in me too!
This is a beautiful and tender reminder of who we truly are and the preciousness within us all.
Thank you for sharing this special moment, Cherise.
Absolutely Lynda. Confirmation that we are all naturally tender and precious and deserving of this connection with ourselves, our children and all others.
What a gorgeous sharing Cherise.
I even love the title of this article, “The Natural Love Of A Child”, why? as I know and can feel that love in me.
A very beautiful story of how children are so open and loving to themselves and everyone around them. They know just as much we adults do. It’s always a beautiful experience being around those little ones.
Hi Cherise, it’s beautiful to feel the love and tenderness that children naturally express with.
So beautiful to feel the love that children so naturally live when given the space to do so. It felt heart-warming to read your blog Cherise, thank you
One cannot help but notice in many children that they are often being “them” effortlessly. Thank you Cherise for writing this.
Beautiful Joan.
Thank you Cherise, a beautiful sharing of how special it is when children are just left to be, without the impositions that we as adults place on them to be something for us. I wonder if we forget that we too are that preciousness? Easy to forget when covered up with hurts and protections from the impositions that we all inevitable face… but underneath it is still there, just as precious as the day we were born.
I agree Caroline. I can often feel how gentle I am with a little child and that is because of the reflection that child brings and I than feel that I have that same preciousness within me.
That is so beautiful Cherise, how you describe the openness of the little girl. These children are such an inspiration for us in so many ways. As adults it takes us a long time to be that open to anyone, if ever, there always seems to be some protection and reserve, but she opened herself to you in a way that was no different from from to her mother, showing us that we are all one big family, not tiny enclosed units.
I have had many moment where I wanted a child to give me a hug or some attention, to fill an emptiness within myself. Or that I felt rejected when a child said that she/he did not want to give me a hug, so therefor I took it personally, It is great to share this and to be honest about it, because I have learned from it a lot. Now I never go to a child and just expect them to hug or kiss me, I leave it open and let it be their choice. Just like I have respect for my own body and that I honour what feels right for me, this is the same for all children. I respect and honour them and they can also make their own choices.
A beautiful reminder Cherise of the sensitivity and innate wisdom of a child and we as adults have the opportunity to support them by allowing and just being ourselves rather than imposing upon them.
Such a level of stillness and in particular when you talk about holding the child, the feeling of just allowing her to be.
What a precious moment in time you have shared with us. When we, as adults, can let go of the arrogance that we are the wise ones; that we know it all; and allow ourselves to connect to the joy and honesty of a child, then we are actually the wiser for it. Children have so much to teach us, we simply have to allow ourselves to be the student!
I agree Ingrid, and how did it ever come to be that we would stop observing and learning from the wisdom of everyone around us? and at any age they are.. My feeling is that we miss out on so much when we hold any beliefs that constrict our natural way and ability to connect with others and be inspired for ourselves.
A beautiful tender article. I could share the tingle and feel the love when you describe the young child wrapping her tiny hand around your finger.
What a gift to have children in our lives so they can remind us of the preciousness and tenderness we all come from. The cuddling warm hug you shared with your little friend is palpable, thank you Cherise.
‘It was like I had known her forever, although we had only just met.’ When we are in our own stillness and meet another in their stillness whether that be a man, woman or child, there is no separation, only the infinite love that abounds between souls. Was lovely to re-read this blog this morning Cherise.
Awesome, Cherise. How honoring it is to children to allow them to decide who and when to be affectionate with others. I remember feeling like I “had to” hug people in my family who I often did not want to embrace. Today, one of my nephews often does not want to be hugged, especially at larger family gatherings, and it feels so great for me to be able to to feel that in him and just say ‘that’s ok’ and not pressure or force him to do so.
So beautiful, so gentle Cherise and what a confirmation that you received back from this little girl, reflecting that amazing stillness, tenderness and gentleness that you were feeling within you. Very inspiring, as it is what we are putting out that we undoubtedly get back from others. A great reminder for everyday life.
I love this blog Cherise. I can really feel the grace of what you are describing here:’ My friend and I spoke about the imposition that we can easily place on our children to be affectionate with an adult, just because they are family or because it is expected of them; forgetting the fact that everyone has a right to choose what feels right for them, including our children.’ I always feel it is a child’s right to hug whom they choose. A child will always naturally come and hug you if they feel that impulse. Very beautiful not to impose on them in this way.
The natural love of a child in indeed breathtaking; thank you Cherise for your inspirational blog.
Your expression is a great reminder to appreciate this love and tenderness in all children.
Beautiful sharing Cherise, it brought a huge smile to myself reading this loving exchange you had with that little girl, as it connected me with the memory of the openness and the tenderness of my own children, especially when they were much younger.
Rereading your blog again this morning, Cherise was a pleasure. The love shared between you, the little girl and her mum comes through your words with such clarity. I feel touched and expanded as I read.
Children are so loving and open. It is very beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Beautiful sharing Cherise. Children absolutely know who and when to cuddle, kiss or shake hands. I have learned from my own children that I as a parent can’t impose on them what to do in that moment when greeting another person.
“Cherise, You captured so beauty-fully the exchange with this child, thank you for sharing. They are such a gift to us. Your line about children “naturally know how to be their lovely selves” is so true and when you see a child do this, there is nothing like it in the world. I enjoy many close relationships with children around me and I am treasuring what they share with me on a daily basis. A beaut reminder to have fun & play.”
This is so beautiful Cherise, ‘They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.’ I have a 4 year old son and completely agree with you, this is exactly how he is, I find him incredibly inspiring and love how he naturally knows how to be his lovely self. Without me prompting him or telling him what to say he is naturally very expressive, often telling people how lovely or sweet they are, kissing or cuddling someone when he feels to and saying ‘no’ if someone asks him for a cuddle and he does not feel to.
Children are indeed deeply inspirational. Most of them have not yet enjoined all the games we play as adults. Their openness, honesty and ability to love unconditionally as an equal to any adult is vastly underestimated and often goes unnoticed so thanks Cherise for reminding us all of these amazing little gifts and examples of love that are running around all over the place!
Yes, Andrew.. “Children are indeed deeply inspirational. Most of them have not yet enjoined all the games we play as adults.” Perhaps that’s why I love being in their company so much as they are so refreshing…”out of the mouth of babes” springs to mind. Their ability to feel the truth and express it is fantastic.
Reading this again Cherise brings back memories of my childhood, recalling that stillness, sometimes feeling it reflected back to me.
The exquisite moments were the ones when I was allowed to ‘ just be me’.
I am now in the process of appreciating and allowing ‘me to be me’.
Wendy its lovely to reflect back and see how as a child I also felt that stillness and enjoyed the time when I would just be me, playing and feeling exquisite. Thank you for reminding me of that as did the blog by Cherise.
Cherise there is such beauty and tenderness in the way you describe the little girl and her naturally tender, loving ways. I love to watch the delicacy of little fingers and feel the lightness and delicate hold of little hands.
I look forward to my grandchildren coming to visit. Giving them a big hug, and telling them how much they are loved. Children bring so much joy and happiness to one’s life.
Another beautiful tenderly written article thank you Cherise. I felt as if I was with you at the table, enjoying the moment. Children are indeed naturally amazing, ‘They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.’
Perfect Cherise – I agree, it is amazing how although we can expect and treat kids as if they ‘don’t know what is best for them’ – they often do if we let them choose for themselves
Jessica, so true, we need to get out of the way and let kids choose for themselves.
That’s beautiful Cherise. Children can be so inspiring in their natural way of being. There’s so much to learn from their quality of presence, when it’s not imposed upon by our beliefs as adults.
Children are the greatest gift parents can have in this world. Why do we often not listen to our children, and learn from them?
Through children’s eyes, all they see is good in this world. They want peace around the world. They do not see racialism and the colour of others skin, they see people that they can relate to. Why do we often try and change them as they grow up?
Hi Cherise, this is so lovely and reminded me of a day I felt especially ‘tender and gentle within my own body’, while standing waiting to pay for some groceries in the health food shop I felt something very gentle and tender embrace my leg. I looked down and there was a gorgeous little girl looking up at me, big sparkling blue eyes. I smiled and she smiled and put her cheek to my leg and then after a few minutes looked up again and smiled even more beautifully. A woman came over and called her and the child gently let go to rejoin her mother. These moments are so precious and, I feel for me, very healing.
it is a great honour to experience a child in their unapologetic glory! They teach us so much about being yourself in full, no apologies, they really look at you, they are loving and curious. It is wonderful.
‘unapologetic glory’ – love it Vanessa…and we, the adults, think it is us who teach the children.
With no apology for the glory we are, now that’s a beautiful and real way to live.
Children are great teachers. A small child just feels love, they do not think about it. I am learning to reconnect to my inner child and feel love as I did as a child.
Your words touched my ‘inner child’ Cherise, I shall allow her to express more often:
“playfulness and smiles, just being herself and loving unconditionally ” an endearing article.
In my work I often visit the homes of families who have 2 and 3 year olds. I make sure that I don’t enter the house until I have asked the child if it’s OK. After all it’s their home, not just their parents’ house.
Then if they decide to accept me, I agree the depth in their eyes just seems to go on for ever. What a beautiful reminder of how trusting and open we used to be and a challenge to return to that which is still there inside me somewhere under all the accumulated debris from my life
Beautiful article Cherise, I have experienced the contrasting reactions of a friends two year old, the one moment where i have imposed myself upon them to the other where I have let them choose if they want to give me a hug. It was a huge learning for me. It is so important to respect a child and not bring our own needs and expectations.
A spontaneous loving cuddle from a small child is a sharing of true tenderness.
I totally agree Mary, tenderness indeed, for in contrast an imposed or forced hug feels ridged, held back, false and empty. The feeling of oneness that pervades a spontaneous hug, is utterly gorgeous. Beautiful piece Cherise, a joy to read.
Most hugs from adults come absolutely loaded with all manner of debris and if we were to be totally honest with each other we would say that hugging one another was generally not a pleasurable thing to do. But in stark contrast a hug from a kid comes with no attachments or impediments and is therefore fresh and pure and very yummy indeed. So much is felt and experienced through our touch even when we pretend that we can’t feel it.
Thank you for sharing that beautiful moment of tenderness and equality. I was drawn to the quote “the natural love of a child that we so easily resonate with,” It does resonate with me and I have felt what a blessing it is to have this reflection in my life. I appreciate the openness of the child eyes and I appreciate that I am open to receiving it and sharing in it.
I love this blog Cherise, the pure and loving reflection that our children bring to our lives,is so so true. I have a young daughter and I have to admit she is the apple of my eye. She is very capable of making her own decisions on what she wants to eat, wear or who she chooses to cuddle or not cuddle. This to me is very important although of course at times she needs guidance in the food department as she does like a sweet.
I have also wanted to be natural with children but my need for them to accept and love me was in the way and I knew it. Recently, as I address a lot of this stuff that damages my relationships with everyone, especially children who can feel me very clearly, I am finding I am approached naturally by children – as I remain myself and don’t “try” to be friends or demand a more intimate connection than they feel to give. I have had a beautiful exchange with a two and a half year old, and been cuddled by two little girls and two babies have opened their arms to me for a cuddle in the swimming pool! That is how I know I am letting go of the old protection of wanting something from them, rather than just being me.
The love and openness of young children is a joy to be with and share. It is a gentle reminder that I too was an open and loving child and in feeling my way back to the child within me I can feel the joy returning.
Thank you Cherise, this is such a great reminder about how very natural it is for us as adults to actually just let children be, allowing all the wonder that is inside to just be expressed, by everyone.
A sweet example of how natural and lovely it can be when we don’t impose, or bring our emotions and needs s to any meeting.
Cherise I feel I was there with you at this meeting! The feeling of love pours off the page and all just for being yourselves and enjoying being yourselves. The little girl is most inspiring in how we can allow young children to be very aware and confident in what they feel, when honoured to be so.
We can learn so much from children. As Rebecca said, never underestimate a child. Thanks for sharing your encounter with this lovely little girl. We have to be aware enough not to miss these precious and simple moments.
Cherise, through your description I can feel the magic of the little girl and your interaction with her. What a beautiful moment shared. Thank you for writing, it was delightful to read your blog. I also really enjoyed your paragraph summing up yourself at the start of the comments page. Lovely!
I could also feel the purity and innocence of the little girl you describe, perhaps this is what is so mesmerising of children this young. They remind us of these qualities we still hold in ourselves but have kept buried through lifes difficult experiences.
A beautiful reminder of a child’s joyfullness. I love this – “her beautiful blue eyes were opened-seemingly as wide and as bright as possible”… just lovely. Thank you Cherise
Thank Cherise for sharing such a divine moment and it feels exquisite to have read just before going to bed. Thank you.
Simply gorgeous Cherise, thank you for sharing.
Wow Cherise, the tenderness you express is lovely to feel. As I read this I felt I was also sitting at the table with you all in the cafe and enjoying the beautiful exchanges that were going on. Thank you for sharing and for gently exposing the imposition that we can have on children when we “want or need” a cuddle from them and in doing so taking away their choice in the name of them being ‘nice’ to people and full-filling our needs. This last sentence sums it up beautifully.
“They know how to make choices, to be open and aware, to feel what is right for them, and they naturally know how to be their lovely selves, loving unconditionally when others allow them to just be.”
Thank you Beverley, we can certainly see that from a very young age when we do something that goes against what we naturally feel to be right for us, we then do something because we think we ‘should’ or because it is the ‘nice’ thing to do. Being nice was something I used to always think was important, but if doesn’t feel right then it’s not truly loving for anyone involved.
Instead, it begins to blur our own self-awareness – we can begin to do more and more things based on what someone else needs and throughout life, find ourselves doing almost most things (not just giving a hug!) when it feels to go against our own natural rhythm.
But as our children consistently reflect to us, our natural way of truly honouring ourselves is always possible; and we have the inbuilt navigational system within us that we can always choose to live by.
Absolutely gorgeous to read the beautifull un-imposing connection you shared. She sounds adorable.
I too feel the absolutely glorious tenderness this blog captures. What a great expression, it fills me with real joy. Thank you Cherise.
I fully agree Phil, it is a real joy to read on many levels and inspiring to see the great reflections children provide us.
Cherise this is so tender. You have so gorgeously captured the feeling of this beautiful exchange. I had goose bumps reading it. I felt my own delicateness whilst reading your words. Children are so closely connected to themselves and a beautiful reminder and reflection of who we truly are. As Matts says they really are the most profound living teachers. Thank you.
I agree Anne-Marie, and I am appreciating even more for myself that when I feel how connected children really are, the goosebumps I have are reminding me that I am equally all-knowing and aware of what feels true and right for me too. I agree with you all, our children are teachers – but what they have to share never comes with a sense of ‘I know more than you’, it sounds more like ‘you know this too’.
Now that makes for a truly beautiful teacher, someone that inspires equality in all others – and here our children are, doing this innately, how gorgeous!
Hi there Cherise loved your blog. It is amazing how a child can be when they are given the freedom to feel and choose and make their own decisions. I have a daughter who is now 5 and she has been expressing from a very early age by choosing her own clothes, what she feels to eat and who she feels to cuddle. I sometimes worry that she doesn’t eat enough or eats enough vegetables, but then she will turn around and eat a whole heap if she feels to. They need guidance of course but we still need to trust that they can feel what is best for them.
Hi Kevin, yes aren’t they the most profound living teachers there are!
I love this Kevin, thank you for sharing. I was having this conversation with others only recently, about how we as adults dictate what our children eat and when; a child may be hungry earlier than dinner time and we may say they need to wait for dinner – the question I pondered upon was, would we say this to ourselves in this situation too? I absolutely agree, we can offer continual guidance for our children and can support them to make their own choices; inspiring them from the very choices we make for ourselves too.
It would indeed seem that we can equally inspire each other, regardless of age! There is a sense of equality between us all that is something to greatly appreciate and allow more of in our lives.
Hi Cherise, I remember when I was working at kindergarten and this little five year old always wanted to be with me, holding hands, taking walks, sitting in my lap. The exquisiteness she brought was breathtaking and in my experience she was showing me what true love was all about – no needs or demands, just the sharing of a presence that I had to accept to enjoy in full. How important it is to verify for them that this what they bring is right and true and they don’t have to convert to the rough and tough way that so often abounds in the world around them. I always say that we as adults have everything to learn from our young ones in how to be in our lives and when we do then we can show them how life can be growing up still connected to that loveliness that they naturally bring.
It’s so true Matts, and thank you for sharing your experience too. I agree that in these moments our children are indeed portraying to us exactly what love is – not only by the way they express and speak, but simply through their naturally unimposing nature. We really do learn so much when we observe them and it’s a great reminder to me that I was once exactly like that when I was a child, with an unimposing and gentle way of being with others that I can reconnect to and bring to my days again now.
Yes Matts! In response to a young child’s ability to openly share presence in a full and purely loving way, you voice the question: “How important it is to verify for them that this what they bring is right and true and they don’t have to convert to the rough and tough way…?” The answer is painfully obvious in this world for all to see and feel.
Wow I love your expression in this blog Cherise. The tenderness and presence you described in the young girl and within your relationship together had a profound effect on me. I recognise that place deep within me and feel a deeper level of presence tenderness and openness I can go to and am inspired to go there. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing Cherise. Amazing blog.
I found this blog exquisite, and that feeling started with, ‘the little girl asked her mother, ever so gently, if she could have the high chair once another child was finished using it’. With that simple sentence you helped me connect to the delicateness of the little girl, to the feeling of your small group, and to me. Just lovely, thank you.
Yes, so true Catherine, the delicateness can be really felt by the way Cherise is sharing her story. Thank you Cherise!
“Cherise this is such an exquisite account of two souls meeting and connecting in the joy and the love that you are. How beautiful… “her playfulness of giggles and smiles had no limit and no reservation.” Children when given the opportunity to be themselves are such a great reflection of heaven. A joy to read thank you.
Absolutely Sam! I felt this too. It seems we so often sniffle this natural open loving nature, but as I get more and more still and gentle I see and feel these interactions more often. So beautiful and just what we all want!
Wow, what an amazing blog, thank you for sharing! When we let them be, children can truly astound and amaze us with there simple clarity and joy – never underestimate a child!
Beautiful. I can feel the stillness and joy of childhood in reading this.
Beautifully expressed – we can impose our feelings on anyone any of the time. Children especially with their clairsentience pick up on these things and are often strong enough to honour their feelings at this early age. It is so true where we think that we have to act a certain way with family members in particular, those hugs that you don’t feel to give, but others tell you you have to. So, it is beautiful to hear that you are presenting another way, and to see and feel the difference.
So true Jenny, we can impose on any person (of any age), at any time and it can be equally felt as a tension between both of you.
This is a beautiful expression and it feel like your eyes were also wide open in the joy of feeling the little girl’s expression. It is amazing and wonderful that we as adults also have that choice to express fully in the way you describe. I feel more still and tender just from reading this. Thank you Cherise.
Wow I loved this Cherise. a lovely way to show from your own experience that if we allow children to be themselves with no imposition and no expectation from others they can express their love so naturally and we all get to feel it. I could feel your stillness and how the little girl responded to it and was then able to show her love to you in the simplicity and gentleness that children do so beautifully. I love the picture with this blog it is so vibrant and so full of joy.
Thank you Cherise for sharing your loving moment with the little girl – it is a reminder to be tender with myself and that whatever age people are, we are all capable of making our own choices and being loving to others and with ourselves.
Thank you Cherise for sharing such an open and intimate moment with your friends. This little girl obviously felt your quality on this day and is a reminder we are all naturally loving and tender too. Beautiful!
I agree Julie. This gentle article by Cherise clearly shows how this little girl could feel and enjoy the quality in her that day and a reminder that we are all naturally loving and tender within and that every young child can feel it when we are feeling that quality in us.
Just beautiful. Thank you Cherise.
It’s interesting and a beautiful reminder Cherise that children know who feels safe and who does not – who they want to hug and who they do not. To grow up in the freedom and staying connected to the fact that we have a choice would be so empowering. This young lady clearly felt safe with you which is a beautiful testament to who you are.
Shevon I completely agree, children know exactly who to hug and not to hug, what feels safe and what does not.
As kids we are raw and sensitive and then as we get older our rawness and sensitivity turns into the texture of an old boot. And in that process we become less and less discerning of what we allow for ourselves, which in turn influences how we treat others and before you know it we end up with a world of checked out, numbed out adults who treat each other with brutality. Preserve the child and you preserve Life.
Yes Shevon, this struck me too, how children feel who is non imposing and who connects with the openness that they are. It is like they are saying, ‘I recognise you’ and let’s celebrate who we are. Children are a window into ourselves if we stop to observe as Cherise has. Beautiful read to start my day today. Thank you
BEAUTIFUL and awesome to read Cherise.
I loved the sentence; “the natural love of a child is breath taking…” so very very true, and a lovely reminder that we are that natural love too.
I agree with you, Jacqueline. The reflection children can offer us is amazing. They remind us of who we truly are ourselves if we let them be.
Cherise, this is simply divine and ever so tender. How easy is it to (ab)use children (and pets) to prop ourselves up and demonstrate that we are needed, liked and popular! And some politicians do it in a big way of course, when they take to the hustings and hug and pat anything and everything in sight, from babies to poodles. Your article is a great counter to the way we can sometimes think that our children can’t feel for themselves whom they want to hug or not, who feels safe or not. Thank you for your inspiration.
Gabriel, I just got the impact of this imposing way we have traditionally been with children – using them to prop ourselves up and fill our lack. After reading this blog I really got how not only is this kind of behaviour hurtful and confusing to the child, but wow look at the richness and exquisite grace the exchange between Cherise and this young girl allowed. We, everyone, the whole world, end up deprived of that.
So true Golnaz, and I really appreciate how you looked beyond the harm or the negative of this pattern to how much richer the true version is. So often I can cling to something that is not true because I see changing as giving something up, rather than as moving towards that richness and grace that you speak of.
Wow, thank you Gabriele and Golnaz for bringing a deeper awareness to how this way of being with children is really playing out in our communities, and like you said, the confusing behaviour that is used by and publicised by our politicians also.
We have the opportunity to foster and support the awareness that our children naturally have so that they undeniably know and honour what they feel is true – throughout childhood and into adult life beyond.
And with pets – I just got a bit of an ouch when I realised that I also do this with my pet sometimes as well. But what I do love about my dog that sometimes whenI go to pick him for a ‘cuddle’ because I am lacking/needing something from him, he just wriggles out and wants no bar of it. Kids do the same.
That’s kind of funny Sarah! And yet very true, imposition is imposition and it comes with an energy that cannot not be felt! Neediness definitely has us shuffling in the other direction, unless we are equally invested in the needs in return.
I agree Golnaz, “everyone, the whole world, ends up deprived of that”, because we immediately try to control others and our situations to fit the pictures we have decided for them to be. This blog speaks to me about allowing, appreciating and accepting others as they are. When we can refrain form imposing our picture onto them, or should I say superimposing, then there is magic allowed to unfold for all.
So true, Gabriele. I love how you wrote (ab)use children as that is exactly what is going on.
Well said Gabriele. Even a child can become just another commodity when there is no true care and love.
Cherise, a perfect reminder for me as I would like to be more tender with myself and now, after reading your beautiful article and picturing how young children are with themselves I have an image in my head to remind myself to be playful and tender. The other point that struck me with you article was how you appreciated both mother and child who you were spending time with.
I agree Sally, a truly inspiring article. A great reminder of our true tenderness and playfulness. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing Cherise. The beauty and honesty of your expression has brought tears to my eyes. The exquisiteness of stillness reflected by a child is so divine. Thank you for reminding me Cherise.
My absolute pleasure Simone. It was so beautiful to have this experience …to then also carry this with me to my interactions with other children (including family) and other adults too, has been a true blessing.
Cherise, that must have been an amazing mother who just let her child be in her fullness without interfering.
Absolutely she is Christoph, we were all held equally.
And what you shared here Cherise is the miracles that can occur when we do that.
What a true blessing for all involved, the ripple effect, from one drop of love. So simple yet so profound.
And how often do we truly stop to appreciate these moments for the blessing and healing that they are…