My partner has always been extremely loving and affectionate. He has always shared the most gorgeous phrases when he sees me. I used to ask him how he was when we got home from work and he would say, “Better now”, while giving me a big hug and kiss.
He would often look into my eyes or just look my way and say, “Simone, you are gorgeous.” Or “I really love how you are holding yourself.” Come to think of it, he has never really been much of an “I love you” saying kind of man! He would bring me things that were interesting and beautiful – gifts from nature that he knew I would enjoy, rather than try to win me over with expensive gifts or jewellery.
But the other day he said something that took me by surprise. I can imagine that many people may find this strange, but for me, it was most exquisite way he has ever said those three little words “I love you.”
It was the end of a long day and I looked over at the lovely man beside me and felt the most intense appreciation for having chosen to spend my life with him. He was just so gorgeous! And I was enjoying being with him more today than ever.
The words “I love you” literally burst out of my mouth! He looked back deeply into my eyes and said, “I love me too.”
I actually love how it took me by surprise. I can see how easy it would be to put this down as someone being arrogant or ‘up themselves’. But when he expressed his love for himself, I felt the depth of regard that he holds himself with. I felt how much he honours his each and every moment and how much he cares for himself. From the depths of the love that he has for himself, I was also able to feel that by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.
The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.
It was the love inside of him, and lucky me, I get to share and feel this love with him every day. He has chosen to love himself this much, and I have chosen to spend my life with this man. Feeling the quality of his voice as he shared this with me brought tears to my eyes.
I can understand how some people may be offended or upset if their partner responded this way. No doubt, in the past, I would have felt this way too. But now I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.
In appreciation of the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Through these teachings, my partner and I have learned how to truly love ourselves and each other. From this foundation of love, we now understand what it really means to be in a true relationship. And by deepening the quality of our relationship, we are able to share this in our relationships with everyone.
Published with permission from my partner for life – the sweet, tender and ever-loving Joost Blom.
By Simone Lewis, BSc BTeach
Further Reading:
When you say ‘I love you’, does it come with love?
What is true love?
The Act of Love
Love. When we feel the expanding glow of love within ourselves it is felt and shared by all those around us.
It feels to me that when we drop the ‘I’ in ‘I love you’ and make it ‘love you’ that it seems to make it almost impossible to truly mean it.
When we truly feel love we know it is the same love that we feel in another – hence a beautiful reminder that we are all made of the same stuff!
When we confirm something amazing and lovely in someone else we are confirming our own essence for inside we are all to deeply beautiful and amazing.
I often think of this blog, its great in that it shows us that it is ok to love and adore ourselves, something that is natural and innate in us but has been pummelled out of us since young.
Most of us have parents that only did what they thought was best for us and showed us what they considered love to be. We, then, in turn have also done what we have considered as the best for our kids and have also shown them what we consider love to be. But what if by demonstrating a very distorted form of love we have actually set our kids up for a version of love that completely lacks love? The ‘I love you and you love me and we don’t love others’ version of love completely stunts true love. True love being the living activity of the universe. Love is fundamental not directional.
Love you both Simone, and it is amazing to see the Love yourself first being put into real words and shared in this way.
To love someone as much as they love themselves – now that sounds amazing. Certainly dating websites would have a lot to learn to support such a way of life.
They say words are cheap…. but isn’t it amazing how deeply our words can touch someone, and how just 3 words can completely deepen and widen someone’s understanding of life.
Being able to love ourselves first is only the beginning, as the ripple effect of that love cannot but flow far and wide, touching all those who come in contact with us, and then naturally flowing on out to others. Just imagine what a love-filled planet we would live on if each and every one of us was able to truly say “I love me” and then to live that love in every moment.
Only when we deeply care and love ourselves can we bring and share this love with another, ‘I felt how much he honours his each and every moment and how much he cares for himself. From the depths of the love that he has for himself, I was also able to feel that by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.’
I agree with you Lorraine that when we love ourselves we naturally love others too, for me it’s another universal law and this is how the world will change not through fighting and abuse but through people loving themselves in this state there can be no abuse towards others only love as it hurts to be abusive to others when we are in love with ourselves.
The equality and grace of the deep love we hold for ourselves, that is our foundation from where we share that love with all others, equally so.
Yes, it all starts with loving ourselves first, ‘now I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first’.
Love can only deepen when we don’t keep it for ourselves.
That is beautiful Annelies, and a reminder that love is not actually for us – ever.
“by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.” This is the power of self-love that can be felt and shared by all.
As Chris James sings “Love is a beholding light” and if we first do not hold ourselves in love then never can we hold another.
Thank you Simone, an enriching blog sharing that those little three words can be very powerful when you live them.
It’s interesting how we have this expectation around I love you – how if it is not instantly and equally returned, then its a real problem. So many movie scripts have been set up on the whole ‘is the love reciprocated’ – but here is a gorgeous example of Simone deeply appreciating her husband, and him totally confirming what she feels and appreciating himself too. That’s pretty beautiful. And a total accepting of the moment.
What I also feel how this love is encompassing not only for you but for all.
So gorgeous Simone, thank you for sharing this beautiful experience with us. There is so much joy to be had in truly loving ourselves and sharing our love with others. A divine gift for all.
How precious that moment in time was; a moment especially for your partner, with you confirming your love for him and then him confirming his love for himself. There was no need for him to respond, as most would do in that situation with “I love you too”, often being forced out and not expressed naturally. His honesty was so refreshing and definitely setting the bar high for all future “I love you” moments.
We have a good radar for what feels true and what feels fake yet often we don’t trust this enough and express from our all knowing.
In a society where it is way more common to talk ourselves down and avert attention away from ourselves when someone appreciates us it is absolutely beautiful to feel what you have shared here Simone. It is gorgeous how someone can just totally love themselves and share this with someone else without being selfish or up-themselves.
If you put this part at the beginning of your blog ‘The words “I love you” literally burst out of my mouth! He looked back deeply into my eyes and said, “I love me too.” then I probably would have laughed and thought it funny but what you have expressed before clearly shows the intimacy and depth of love within your relationship with yourselves and each other. It feels really lovely and incredibly sweet and makes me want to be in a relationship to!
Very true- that someone loving themselves first and then bringing this to you- brings true love to the relationship- without this it creates a need based relationship- which is diminishing for both people.
Building a true foundation of love is the appreciation of the manifestation of love you know and accept that is within you.
When we love ourselves and each other equally our love deepens and grows.
When I read your comment Mary I had the image of tree roots going in each and every direction, that to me is what true love does, it spreads out every which way and all ways simultaneously. The love that we have come to mistakenly call love does not act like love, because it’s stunted and reserved for a select few. In fact there is nothing whatsoever about our commonly mistaken notion of love that resembles true love at all.
This is a beautiful sharing Simone, it is so important that we love ourselves, only then can we love another.
And what if this was the norm in society? Perhaps a utopian claim to make but it is very real and possible especially if we keep our heart open to the possibility.
When we feel someones true love for themselves it is simply irresistible, there is an ease and confidence and self assurance that just confirms us.
The biggest, true attraction, is when someone loves themselves. It gives me the space to join and it does not demand anything from me.
‘The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything.’ This is what true and unconditional love looks like.
We certainly have the idea of love so back to front with the looking outside of ourselves for love, expecting someone to love us first before we can love ourselves. How absolutely beautiful Simone to hear those words “I love me too” and the gorgeous reflection of the depth of love your partner has for himself that he shares with you equally. Truly a match made in heaven.
And the fact that we have the “idea of love so back to front” is so impacting on the way we live. For if we are forever looking outside of ourselves for the love we feel we are missing in our lives, we are overlooking the true source of that love, and that is within us. Loving ourselves ought to be the most natural thing to do, but sadly our society does not support or honour this, as all the beliefs we are fed from young say that we are to love others first. No wonder the world is in such a love-less mess.
True love never asks for anything in return as its whole focus is on building and nourishing your quality of connection with yourself and all others equally.
How sinister it is that we as a society condemn being full of ourselves. As being full of who we are, the love we are is the greatest gift we can share with another.
How irritated people are when you are actually taking a compliment as a confirmation, because you already lived your amazingness, instead of being lifted and excited about it. And how self love gets falsely interpreted as being arrogant, to avoid the reflection, that this is the actual normal. No matter how people react, I feel the responsibility to reflect something different, only then true alchemy can play out.
Oh man this is the love we need more of in society! When you see couples together truly expressing love like this it is just simply gorgeous! And you cannot but feel that in yourself. Whereas when Love is held back or is not expressed at all it makes you want to cringe as all you feel is abuse and need.
“I love me too…… The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.” We are not encouraged or supported to love ourselves in today’s society. But when we do love ourselves first we have so much more loving to share with others.
Beautiful Simone, for in truth the alchemy of love is so much more potent when it comes from within first. Thank you!
This shows how love is love and needs no confirmation other than to simply be expressed.
What a beautiful response to I love you … I love me too !
We are not taught to love ourselves, in fact if someone is told “you love yourself” it usually means they are considered arrogant or conceited, which is not love at all. But when we truly do love ourselves, then this is the same level of love we have to share with others, which is a huge gift to the world. Simone I agree that anyone who truly loves themselves is amazing to be around.
Reading this blog is like seeing a snapshot of what a true love relationship is.
Love always starts from oneself. Only then it’s an emanation that can be shared.
It is so gorgeous to share our love in this way. It is a reflection back to each other of the love that is within them and their choices to live that love. It is a celebration and an appreciation and something that ought to be the foundation of every relationship.
If we know love and we live that love to the best of our ability every day, then what we offer someone in a relationship is amazing, sharing your life with someone not because you need to but because you love to is simply exquisite.
Appreciation is a mirror of confirmation for how we live and then reflect that love to all others too. Simone this is a beautiful confirmation of the care, support and tenderness held within and then shared with another equally. Stunning thank you.
So beautiful to read Simone, your sharing brought tears to my eyes, the level of deep love and care you have for each other is certainly felt in true relationship, the words of your partner “I love me too” are just so divinely powerful, how gorgeous is that.
Plain and simple. If you don’t love yourself to the T, you can’t love another either in that same way. We then end up wondering why our relationships fall apart and do not work as we wanted them to, but this is because the patterns of holding back, guarding, protecting and judging are all part of the package we live with as no one is without these unless they have dealt with their hurts. Hence how important it is to observe and not absorb and thus be able to hold the other in love as we can equally ourselves.
Expressing love can be done in so many different ways but unless it comes from the body it is not love. I have been experimenting with this a little while ago and found there are numerous ways of telling another ‘I love you’ but unless it came from my body the expression was empty and could be felt by others.
I love that answer of “I love me too” that your partner gave to you. It is deeply honouring and definitely deserves to be appreciated and cherished as this blog is doing. This simple statement really does uphold the principle that we cannot love another if we do not love ourselves first.
When someone appreciates themselves it comes with a different feeling than someone being ‘up themselves’. The appreciation includes others whereas the boasting keeps others away and less than the one boasting. I find it attractive when another appreciates themselves.
The love we see in others is the love we are within ourselves. True love is born from truth and is the breath of our Soul. It is all one stupendous heavenly love that has not an ounce of want, need, desire or spirit within it.
True love is an expression that is lived in our bodies first and shared by way of reflection with others, appreciating this allows us to ignite that which has been long forgotten within us and embrace it as part of who we truly are.
Love reflects love and what a beautiful foundation you and Joost have set here Simone. How amazing it is to share how we care and support ourselves in turn can offer so much inspiration and honesty all in one movement or expression even from saying three words “I love you.” Thank you.
Self love and self appreciation is key if we want any kind of true relationship, without these two main ingredients we will always be on the back foot looking for another to fill that which we are not claiming for ourselves.
We cannot truly love another until we have first truly loved ourselves. How different the world would be if we made this part of our education. Indeed, how very different the world would be if we had not ever forgotten the truth of these words.
“The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.” Awesome that you were able to feel and see the blessing in your partners expression and be inspired by it.
“The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me.” Beautiful, a true love story.
What is the most exquisite is when the words we say are fully embodied and we could feel the weight of the words. This is the only way love can truly be expressed.
Love myself and I love you. Love with all of me and love is for everyone.
By developing self-love we become more aware of what is and what isn’t love in ourselves and between us in relationships, all of them and not just our partner. But it is also beautiful to have a partner to practice expressing this greater love. Whats then not to love about being with another person? Coming from someone who got hurt and held onto that hurt for a very long time, having no intention on having a partner ever again, this is amazing where I can stand today. And it all started with loving myself and honouring how I feel first and foremost.
‘The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.’ The only thing love does is asking us to evolve, to pull you up and to be love in every relationship we have, to reflect our divine nature.
“I love me too” what a great way to respond and confirm the love that is there, when said in truth like this who can not be inspired to claim more of that love we all are.
“I love me too” what a great way to respond and confirm the love that is there, when said in truth like this who can not be inspired to claim more of that love we all are.
I love your partner’s response Simone and why wouldn’t you want to be with someone who does and can say they love themselves.
Simone I loved reading this blog again, especially the part when you say ‘I love you’ to your partner and he replies ‘I love me too’. That is beautiful to hear and rarely do we hear someone say this, if we all loved ourselves in this true way all our relationships would deepen and be forever evolving.
Love is an expression of who we are, and there is such enormity when we choose to express it to ourselves. It is like we are reinforcing that which we already knew but did not realise. As it comes more and more into our consciousness, and as it is really felt more and more deeply, our lives begin to transform. No longer is it necessary for another to prove to you that you are worth loving, you already know it. So when someone tells me that they love me, it is a wonderful confirmation of what I already know for a fact.
Yes and it is for quite a lot of people to come to the understanding in truth, that true self-love has absolutely nothing to do with selfishness.
To love ourselves first is really the first step to be loving another, as how can we love another if we don’t love ourselves? It is said to ‘ love thy neighbour as yourself’ – makes this a very clear statement as – if we don’t love ourselves, we can’t love our neighbour either…
There are so many varied ways in which we can express love – words can often just be uttered without any true meaning behind them – a gesture, a smile a touch can speak of our love so much more at times…
It’s funny how my body was ready to cringe or gasp in the split second I read his response…because of the reactions we’re are so often met with when discussing the ‘I love you’ phrase with friends or watching the drama of it on TV and in the movies….’ he said what?’…’OMG” etc etc. But it only took a split second for me to come back and realise how truly beautiful and inspiring this is.
Absolutely beautiful! This feels so very right. Just imagine the difference it would make if we bothered to love ourselves so deeply first. I’m blown away!
Simone – you share the true meaning of ‘I love you’ in a relationship – that we can only say this if we love ourselves first and are then able to take that love to everyone.
I thought I was in love with someone about 12 years ago, and I was convinced this was the case for about 6 years – but looking at this in raw honesty I now see that I didn’t have one bit of love for myself, and used this person as a way to not even take responsibility for my actions. Yet I was convinced this was love – well – now I know what love truly is, where it comes from, what it calls us to be – and that it is always there – allowing, open, accountable and honest.
I said to someone the other day – “I’m looking forward to spending lots of time with you”, and they said “I’m looking forward to spending lots of time with me too”. This was so refreshing in two ways – Firstly that this person did not feel the need to make me feel good by replying in the usual way, and secondly that I could really feel the truth in what they said. Time with themselves was needed, and they were looking forward to that. I could feel the necessity of this and it felt gorgeous to appreciate.
What an awesome story – and in reading it I also shared the surprise of what Joost responded with, ‘I love me too’. How easy it is to perform, so to speak, the response with an ‘I love you too’. Some people want or need to hear that to make them feel loved, a revelation of where they are with their own self-love. But clearly here we have a relationship which is founded on self love first and thus, there is no want or need for the love of another. Love is an emmanation. Beautiful and inspiring.
This is so gorgeous, when loving someone is on founded on weak soil we love them from a need. But by loving from the foundation of self love, a relationship is rock solid.
Me too – that would have been in the time that I was needing and demanding love and attention from another to make me feel better about myself….now I’m doing that for myself.
Reading this blog this morning has set the tone for my entire day – I am really touched by the love and tenderness here – something that we all miss and crave in a world that wants us to be tough and arrogant. Thank you for sharing this wonderful gift.
I love what you expose here, that it is the depth of love that we have for ourselves that allows love to blossom in our relationships
In the past I may have felt challenged by someone showing and expressing such love for themselves now I appreciate that when someone loves themselves first and shares that love we get a double whammy of Love and how wonderfully powerful is that.
How true it is that Love starts with each of us – only then can we meet another in true equalness, requiring nothing.
I have often heard the saying that you can’t truly love someone unless you can truly love yourself and it seems your partner Simone has really cracked this one. How beautiful to be able to feel see and express this so that others can see that this old saying is not just a saying but in practice it is divine.
Yes, it is beautiful to feel a man truly loving and appreciating himself.
For some weeks, I see the picture of this amazing couple nearly everyday when I open everydaylivingness.com. I’m in awe with this photo and my connection with the depth shared is growing and growing. The innocence, fragility, joy, appreciation, vulnerability, surrendering and gratitude are just amazing to feel. Thank you for the inspiration dear Simone and Joost.
Wow what a beautiful understanding of love and the importance of loving oneself shared “The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.” A real level of understanding of love and the glory and honouring we feel with it.
Most of our relationships are motivated by our desire to get the other to meet our emotional and physical needs for security acceptance and protection. When we connect to our own inner hearts and live from this foundation our emotional neediness just dissolves.
The norm is for people to idealise the love of another rather than having their own foundation of self-love that can be shared and expressed to others. What a beautiful reflection you have shared with us Simone, thank you.
What a beautiful example of love coming back to you that you feel about yourself.
‘I love me’ is far less common to hear than ‘I love you’. And it’s true most of us would react if we heard someone be so bold, and yet, like you, I know what a difference it is making to my life by loving and appreciating myself and bringing a level of love and care to myself that is ever deepening. My love for others is so much more easily expressed when I come from a place of already loving myself.
Simone thank you for sharing your lived experience of Love, we don’t hear, see and feel this depth of intimacy everyday. In fact we usually struggle with trusting we are Love already and appreciating and nurturing ourselves to the max… a love affair with self. Then we would feel Love in the air!
Its a gorgeous confirmation of how true love actually works…. When self love is lived those around us can feel their own level of love. Nothing transferred but a deep reflection to feel the level of love we hold ourselves in, and this is not just between a couple but equally there for all to feel. ?
I agree that the love one has for one self is crucial, this is what matters, not anything from another. we are so cruelly deceived to think it has to come from others, but this is not the case as Simone and Joost clearly show.
If we don’t have this love for ourselves, we can say the most magical words, grandest phrases and do the noblest acts but it all comes underneath with a lack. This lack is like a tugging, a neediness that is constantly pulling on other people to ‘give you’ Love. How different to be full, be connected to the beauty of us,to appreciate cherish and frame ourselves as if we were a great work of art. When you put it this way Simone, not only is self-love something to appreciate, but an essential ingredient to everything we do in life.
I agree, Joseph. If we do not hold ourselves as being precious and gorgeous, we are always going to be looking for something on the outside to confirm us in some way of our worth. Self love is indeed the essential ingredient in all relationships.
Self-love is the bridge back to love, the place where our true self resides.
If there’s a Willingness to really be Loving towards one another, there’s really nothing that can come in between. But what I see inside myself that there’s often a giving-up-ness and stubborness to not make that choice. Thank God for the reflections of True Love, reminding us about the eternal Beauty that is waiting for us all to connect to. Thank you for the blessing of sharing you with us.
It is a blessing to come back to this blog, as it shows the world what is possible when we are not in a relationship to fulfill our needs but to expand love. I am reminded that love is not actually personal and meant to be kept for ourselves, but it is universal and can be enjoyed in many forms. And it starts with loving ourselves to the max!
I thank Simone and Joost for sharing this experience with us all. Having an open window into your relationship is something very special.
No holding back on Love – Gorgeous Simone and Joost!
The level of love that you both hold for yourselves is so gorgeous, and feels so very normal, which we know it is, but how most of us choose to live and the choices that we make certainly do not reflect that normal at all, as we strive to hold onto our protections and not let even ourselves connect to our own truth and essence that is a super support for us all, all of the time, if only we’d let go and trust in that.
To be with someone who loves their self is hugely different to being with someone who needs you to love them, the needs and conditions creep in and so in truth it feels horrible, this is gorgeous Simone, ‘It was the love inside of him, and lucky me, I get to share and feel this love with him every day. He has chosen to love himself this much, and I have chosen to spend my life with this man.’
How beautiful Simone. Saying those words “I love you” to another than be quite hard for some, but saying the words “I love me” is certainly a challenge, how often do you hear that! It is so refreshing to hear someone claim the love for themselves in a way that is not selfish or self-centred but an honouring of themselves, simple gorgeous.
I am 43 years old now and nobody has ever told me the importance of loving yourself, let alone what it actually means to love. For me it was always something to gain, to get or to achieve by doing, something that is outside of you. I feel this is the reason why so many of us are struggling with relationships. We want something from the other, something that we are already ourselves. We are mixing up love with needs.
There are literally millions of ways we can say I love you, but if that person does not have the love in them first then it will be much harder for them to accept, by accepting our own love and beauty we allow it in from others. This is always the start of a great relationship.
So true, when we are deeply connected to the love that we are, how easy it is to love others just the same.
This is divine Simone – “The words “I love you” literally burst out of my mouth! He looked back deeply into my eyes and said, “I love me too.” I love the simplicity of it 🙂
It’s lovely to re-read this blog and a powerful reminder that love starts from within ourselves and emanated out to everyone else from there.
This is gorgeous Simone, being love starts with self first, ‘when he expressed his love for himself, I felt the depth of regard that he holds himself with. I felt how much he honours his each and every moment and how much he cares for himself. From the depths of the love that he has for himself, I was also able to feel that by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.’
This is just so beautiful. How often we are given images and beliefs around a partner loving us more than themselves, all this self-sacrifice stuff of films and TV. So it’s so gorgeous to feel the love someone has connected to within themselves being expressed for all to feel and appreciate and be inspired by.
What an awesome confirmation of the fact that when we love ourselves, we can love everyone else so much more.
Why should we not be able to exclaim our love for ourselves? If you truly understand what is being expressed, then you understand that by doing so you are expressing your love for the entire world.
‘I love me too’ This phrase is like an elixir that has cured one of needing to be approved of or confirmed from the outside! Hold on to what is on offer here Simone – someone who knows they are already enough and can allow you be that to! Totally gorgeous.
Reading your blog today I felt an enormous appreciation for my partner who never misses an opportunity to express his love to me. What is so beautiful is his attention to detail and whilst he very rarely uses the word love, I can feel love itself is expressed through his words and actions.
This blog is just bursting with joy and love and I beam every time I come back to it. It is a great celebration of the power of appreciation and expression.
A beautiful sharing Simone, thank you. This shows something so real, so deep and so special to be truly appreciated and treasured. It is an honour to read and be inspired by all you share in the true responsibility and glory of building a loving relationship with oneself and from this with your partner and all others equally.
What Simone has shared here is to me what true love is really about. Not a doing of certain things for someone else, or merely saying the words ‘I love you’, but consistently holding yourself in the deepest sense of self care, tenderness, and appreciation, and thus being able to hold others in that state, allowing them to be themselves in the fullest too, just as you have done with yourself. It’s the living of this way every day that makes this happen, and Simone’s example is a gorgeous one of it in action.
Thank you Simone for sharing this on a blog with us. Thank you for showing us what real love is.
When I look at the photo of you both my heart just melts. So loving and tender with a touch of humour, awesome. Thank-you for the reflection of such an intimate loving connection, starting with the loving, intimate connection we can have with ourselves.
Yes Monica, Love is very powerful and it is our choice to live and express that power. Quite scary at times but absolutely wonderful most of the time.
We can only know love from our own lived experience of it, and unfortunately our current experience is only based on emotional love which falls far short of the deep and true love you share here Simone. You can feel how both of you are together and deeply committed yourselves first, and not having a need from the other, so what you bring to each other, is very transparent and truly beautiful and inspiring to feel.
Simone what a great confirmation that love is about a quality of expression within a relationship, that it’s not about words but that through words we can express the love; however it’s so much more about our entire expression that allows another to be held in love.
So true – our entire expression – I love this David, it feels totally all encompassing.
Often, when someone is loving their self so much, it can cause jealousy in someone else. But this is never really about the self-love that is there, it usually just about the lack of it and the pain that this brings. Which is fine and a process we can all go through.
The love that you both are is very clearly felt from looking at your photo. I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing you both together and how you interact and support yourself and each other… it is very inspiring and beautiful to watch… with absolutely no need for the other to give more but just being yourselves. This is the so called ‘secret’ to relationships, which is in truth how we can all naturally be together.
It is inspiring to feel the level of love between these two people and for oneself showing that this is what truly underpins the love we express in the relationships in our lives.
For some it may be a simple joke to give this response and carries the intention to cut off the flow of love. But said from the place of true love it’s a cheeky joyful sharing that allows love to grow.
This is gorgeous to re read and see that this is what true love is about, it is about loving ourselves to the bone. And see this in others, giving each other the permission to be open and love them in full, without expectations or demands.
To be love without wanting anything from the other. What a beautiful way to be with one another and for me a beautiful inspiration. I notice where I have expectations and images about what a relationship should look like. What I am learning is the importance of giving each other space to be able to take your own steps in life in your own timing. The more space we give each other, the more a relationship can grow. It is actually the relationship with yourself that can grow and blossom and from that, all relationships will do the same.
The way the relationship between Simone and Joost is – looks pretty delicious!
A beautiful sharing of your appreciation for your partner Simone. Loving ourselves first is the foundation for all relationships thereafter and there is great beauty held within that for us all to truly appreciate. Thank you.
Your photo melts my heart, I really feel the divine connection you are both sharing and the love you both are. The intimacy is so evident to feel
Thank you for sharing your gorgeous blog Simone, the love and intimacy are palpable and so beautiful to feel.
There can be so many beautiful ways to say I love you without ever using those words….and equally using those words when they are born from the connection to the equal love within us all is very confirming and beautiful to feel.
Beautiful sharing Simone. Often the words ‘I love you’ can be used in a way that is needy and wanting to elicit the same response from the other. It does not feel true or connected. It is in the living of love within ourselves that it is very natural to share it with others.
I can agree with that – having said those words for exactly that purpose many times in my life. I understand now that sharing of love comes from my presence, my willingness to be open, warm – and simply myself. I love building relationships and connections based on loving myself.
“The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.” True love makes no demands, only confirms the glory that we all are. There is no doubt that these words come from a body that has most definitely lived this depth of love that we can all tangibly feel here. Thank-you for your simply beautiful sharing Simone, pure gold, and for the divine reflection you and your partner are sharing with us all.
Who would have thought true love could be so simple! Claiming our self love in the way your partner has may seem challenging to most people but it is in fact the way true relationship is.
What strikes me is just how profoundly many relationships are changing as a result of connecting with the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. In my own marriage, we’ve let go of so many of the needs and impositions we placed upon each other – driven by ‘pictures’ of how we thought everything should be, the roles we expected each other to play as ‘man’ and ‘woman’, etc… It takes a true willingness to go deeper, and actually feel what is truly love in any relationship, and be open to exploring with honesty what is not truly loving, for we’ve been bombarded since birth by notions of how everything ‘should be’.
When the real deal of love becomes the bottom line, moments such as you’ve shared Simone are a natural part of the day – there is true celebration and joy in being together, and the deepest appreciation, along with a love that only grows in its magnificence.
Yes – and never to forget the inspiration to live this way came from Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine. Thank you for the reminder Victoria and THANK YOU Serge Benhayon.
I’m left with a big smile on my face reading this… as my own husband’s line (he’s used it on more than one occasion…) is “I love myself and therefore I love you by default.” 😉
It’s a humorous way that we share the same truth you’ve shared Simone, i.e. that without a foundation of love for oneself, there can be no true holding of another in love.
This is such a great moment to share Simone – reflective not just of a ‘moment’, but a foundation of love that allows a relationship to be all that it can be.
“The words “I love you” literally burst out of my mouth! He looked back deeply into my eyes and said, “I love me too.” ” This just brings a giant smile to my body and its hard to see how anyone could construe this to be conceited for it is the quality that is behind the words that says everything.
“But now I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.” Indeed Simone, this loving responsibility towards ourselves opens up the space for greater confirmation and appreciation.
“The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.” True love makes no demands, only confirms the glory that we all are – this is a divine sharing Simone thank-you.
Simone what a beauty-full, heartfelt sharing of what a true relationship looks like, based on a foundation of love from both yourself and your partner. A true blessing for us all who reads this blog.
I absolutely Love that you are sharing such an intimate part of your life and I can feel how much this quality of Love for yourselves has in the relationship with each other. This is something that I too would have found weird and odd before coming to the teachings and revelations by Serge Benhayon, now though this is so normal to be loving ourselves first and sharing this that it has changed every relationship that I am in.
What a wonderful confirmation Simone, of the love you get to share when you hear your partner claim so fully that they love themselves. As you rightly say there is nothing arrogant about such a proclamation, it is instead a great support for you to know you are in a relationship with someone who has that depth of care for themselves.
“…someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves…” Indeed, Simone. Once this is felt and appreciated for what it truly means, the question becomes, why whole you settle for anything less?
Simone and Joost, the depth of love you hold for yourselves is so very beautiful, and you can feel there is not one ounce of need. Your love is so solid within you, that it completes you and holds you both in such a very natural and all encompassing way. Your love not only feeds you both back, it feeds us all back. Thank-you deeply from my heart, for sharing your absolutely heaven sent love with us all and reflecting for us, a true way in relationships.
The other day I said how much I loved somebody and it felt so great to say it. It took a few minutes as I felt a bit vulnerable to say it. The wonderful thing is, in the past I always wanted the other to say it back to me but this time, I did not have that at all. The other person did not say it back and I just felt all the love and stayed with it.
Such a Joy is radiating from your sharing Simone. And how lovely for a Man to be able to share his own Love so deeply with you! In choosing to do so, lies your love and appreciation for both yourself and Joost. How Beautiful. To express our Love for ourselves is so so important. We’ve got so many beliefs and ideals around this being arrogant. So we’re swallowing our appreciation for ourselves and in doing over time losing the otherwise natural connection with the natural Appreciation and Love for ourselves and others. No wonder society is desperately looking for Love.
It is so beautiful Simone and Joost that you are sharing your love for yourselves with each other, which in affect is a true way of being as if you truly love yourself, you can’t but help sharing it with another. Your photo reflects your tender, intimate relationship which touches my heart deeply, and this love is not exclusive to you, it is something we can all have, because we are it already, we just have to re-connect to it.
In complete contrary to what we are told love is, the actual process of deepening love in relationships always begins with deepening that love within yourself. This forms the greatest foundation of love between two people as what is built by our own love is then shared outward with everyone.
We have moved so far away from love that we have to return first to self-love to then again embrace the true love we are.
If this way of loving, as in ourselves first and between those around us, was what we experienced as a child how different all our relationships would be now. Thank fully with more people I know relearning how to live this way we can also be inspired. Thank you for sharing Simone.
There is no greater foundation to love another than to love oneself first.
‘It was the love inside of him, and lucky me, I get to share and feel this love with him every day.’ There is something so gorgeous happens when we spend time with someone who has love for themselves, whether it is a partner or a friend and I feel blessed to have many friends now to share these magical moments with.
Thank you for sharing such a gorgeous blog Simone. I agree it is only when we are truly loving ourselves first that we can love another and although many would react and disagree it is the only way for me to continue to develop to truly love another.
When we hold the love we are then Love is fully felt in the presence we bring. Beautiful Blog
I love reading how you describe your partner it is so loving and unneedy or emotional it is brilliant to have this sort of inspiration.
Every time I come to this blog site I see the photo of Simone and Joost and each time I see it I am hit by a wave of love. Every-thing really is energy.
When we have love for our selves and find another that also has this same quality magic happens. There is no needing, wanting, giving or receiving anything from each other. By both just being love and coming together we become more and expand the love we are.
A beautiful sharing from two people I have had the treasure love and joy of sharing life with. I feel the true deep beauty in claiming the love we are all from inside of ourselves and never from outside. Amazing to really open up and be aware of where our lives really come from and that you can only be the love you are with another and not give them love.
This turns the tables on the game of love that we have been playing for eons… To be able to be in a relationship with your partner but the emphasis is on your deeper connection and love for yourself first and for this to be truly embraced is a game changer. What it offers us is an opportunity to be who we are and allow others to be who they are. It makes sense really how can we truly love another before loving ourselves. Serge Benhayon has been sharing the teachings and revelations of the Ageless Wisdom and I am deeply thankful that this has been my inspiration in turning my relationship around and back towards myself.
In true love there is nothing special to do or to say, we just have to be love. Allow love to move us free from how love should look like and then there is all the love to live.
The moment we realize that the deep love we hold for another is actually the same love that we are ourselves is a relevatory moment that loving ourselves deepens our love for everyone else.
I felt so much joy and playfulness in your sharing of a precious moment Simone, showing us all how to be in relationship with our self and others.
Reading this again I can feel the absolute depth of acceptance and appreciation. Allowing each other to just be and surrendering to the beauty from within.
To see and appreciate the love we see in the other is the same as seeing and appreciating it in ourselves. And to express it is a foundation for us all to develop together. The love we see in each other is the love of God, not owned by us but expressed in so many ways and from so many angles from us to represent the whole together.
I am really learning that we all have our own way in expressing our love for each other. I noticed today that I had some expectation coming up in wanting somebody else to express his love for me in a certain way or a way that is familiar for me, but having expectations has nothing to do with love. It is really about understanding and allowing everybody to express in their own way.
When there are conditions to what I call love, it is not love at all!
This is such a beautiful sharing, thank you Simone and Joost.
Simone, I absolutely love reading your blog, as every time I do I can feel the depth of love that you express so simply but powerfully within myself. Thank-you.
Simone what a beautiful blog, something I have learnt is that we cannot truly love another if 1st we do not love ourselves. And then when 2 people come together who deeply love and cherish themselves then anything is possible and there are no limits to the depth of love you can both go to.
“It was the love inside of him, and lucky me, I get to share and feel this love with him every day”…
How simply gorgeous Simone to be able to share these three little words, after all love is who we are, and acknowledging love in another is such a natural thing to do when we have an open heart and willingness to share.
Thank you Simone for such a heartfelt blog. I could feel the unconditional love between you and your husband and deep appreciation of yourselves from loving and caring for yourselves first. Very inspiring and beautiful.
Love is a beholding light, it has taken a while to truly understand what this means as like most in tis world I was raised with the conditional ‘give and take’ concept of love. I did realise at some point in my life that you could not love another if you do not love yourself but did not know the energetic science behind it. This blog is a testimony to this universal science as Simone you could feel the beholding of you in the expression of Joosts love for himself.
gorgeous Simone thank you for sharing as this love you both hold is equally so for all of humanity. What you both live together as you develop naturally is what you share with each and every person you come across in your life.
What a gorgeous moment. It is so true, we are conditioned to expect to hear back I love you too, and I can still feel the pain of waiting for it back from so many of my early boyfriends …. that is many years ago now but I can still remember it! I made a pledge with my husband a fair few years ago that neither of us would say ‘I love you’ with an expectation of hearing it back but just to stop and accept the love that was offered by the other person in that moment and see what came. We both saw how hard it was not to say it back as rote! We also saw it was a little difficult to accept that someone loved us quite that deeply at times, these times were when we didn’t have the same level of love for ourselves. I am learning so much about the importance of developing that love for myself first so I can share it with others.
Beautiful, Simone. You have really highlighted how we are so conditioned to express love to someone and expect them to say the same back to us, and how seldom do we express let alone admit that we love ourselves equally.
Simone, this is so beautiful to read, ‘The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.’ What you have shared here is amazing, I can feel that if we have this love for ourselves then we are not dependant on others for how we feel and so we need not live with the rollercoaster of emotions that is so common in our society – the ups and downs, we can instead stay steady in our love – I can feel how supportive this would be for ourselves and everyone we know.
Universal medicine is to care so deeply for oneself on a daily foundation that such an answer can enter one’s mind.
Love is an energy we connect to, it truly makes no difference who or what triggers this choice in us and how we express it; as love expressed is always gorgeous.
Thank you Simone (and Joost) for sharing this tender and intimate moment in your relationship with us! It feels exquisite!
When someone says they love you without living this love with themselves first it actually not only feels pretty baseless or empty, but it also feels very imposing because often the person is only saying they love you as a way to feel love, because they are not feeling it for themselves. It’s taken me a bit of time to truly feel what all of this means, but once I understood it it allowed me to feel how much empty love there is in the world.
I am in a new relationship since two months and it is beautiful to feel that I am deepening my own relationship. Yes, I am in a relationship with a man, yet at the same time, it feels that I am relating to myself. The love I feel for him, is the love I feel for myself. This is only something I can deepen within myself first.
When we love and appreciate ourselves, it makes it so much easier to accept that another can also love and appreciate themselves with out judgement or criticism. Simone I love the way your partner claimed what he felt without hesitation or reservation. There is something powerful in this, that he was not worried what you thought or if there might have been a reaction.
When you read this absolutely beautiful blog Simone about your relationship with your partner, there is no way you would want to have a relationship from anything less than what you have described, it felt too honouring and respectful to not go to that level in relationship with others. It is a huge reflection for others that we can not only see but really feel within our bodies. Thank-you.
Thank you for sharing this very open and loving exchange, it is inspiring.
Wow this is so cool to read and this is exactly what I see a true relationship to be. I personally haven’t been in that many long term relationships and am currently single but I have many friends and family in relationships. What I see and this is not all, in most is the convenience of the relationships but they are missing this true depth of love for each other. What I have come to feel for myself is the more love, respect and care I have for my relationship with myself the deeper I fall in Love with myself and I can feel that in every relationship this is what I bring. Over time during this deepening within myself I can feel the intimacy building in these other relationships. It is beautiful to read this blog and to feel how powerful it is when we Love ourselves first and how this holds for each other.
It actually hurts to see loved ones choosing not to love themselves. I often consider how painful it must have been for my parents to watch my abusive behaviours during my late teens and early twenties. We need to let go of all the ideas that stop us from really loving ourselves. It is natural to be loving with oneself and once this foundation is established it naturally extends to ones relationships with others – it isn’t selfish and it isn’t arrogant to love oneself, it feels amazing and we each deserve to feel love within ourselves.
It is beautiful when we can claim the love we have for ourselves out loud, with not a hint of arrogance, but a deep understanding that in claiming this love for ourselves we are also claiming the love we have to share with all others equally. This is profound and world changing.
I find saying ‘I love you’ very challenging and although people say it to me, I don’t want to simply say ‘I love you too’ back because I can feel it’s just being ‘nice’. So I say ‘Thank you’ because I appreciate their expression. The truth is, I don’t love myself very much or at least not all the time, so how can I possibly express love to another when I don’t feel it in me? Sometimes I can feel how awesome I am and appreciate that, but it’s not consistent, although I’m getting to ‘like’ myself more each day. I know there are some people with whom, when I am around them, I get a delicious warm feeling in my body, and I can express that, which feels great, and that shows that we all express our love in different ways.
I would almost say it is easy to say I love you too, but to say “I love me too” is a totally different story, as then we are asked to feel ourselves in our fullness in everything that we are and cannot push ourselves out of the way by focusing on another. So a “I love me too” is a precious gift to receive if spoken from truth. It encompasses all and says I can feel and I know the love that I am and that we all are and I see it reflected in you.
Reading this line “It was the end of a long day and I looked over at the lovely man beside me and felt the most intense appreciation for having chosen to spend my life with him.” made me realise that I’m the One choosing my partner. That a life partner is not a random choice, nor do I have to prove myself. There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with me, even though partner relationships ended. I am still to appreciate myself – or not… Hold others in Appreciation – or deep down at ransom… Being loving with myself and others – or hard… It’s a choice. As it is a choice to look at all my choices and take responsibility for them by feeling into them and feel how I feel about these choices. Just simply how do I feel and be honest about this. This to me is deeply moving and somehow I feel it’s like giving myself permission to feel again. And without reservation feel the appreciation for a lot of the choices I’ve made.
Developing love for and of oneself, which we all innately have as a child, is the greatest medicine and gift we can give ourselves and to humanity by its reflection.
Although it could sound arrogant and selfish when we reply with “I love me too”, in fact it is a celebration and a confirmation of what is being shared and appreciated in full.
Like an a hook and bait on the end of the stick we dangle this phrase hoping to catch ‘the special one’, or lure someone in to some kind of agreement. If I say you are ok, will you say I am too? Yet what I feel in your words here Simone is completely different. It’s a strength and a knowing that shines out of the page, like rays of the sun, that radiate touching everyone. What if we all have this ability to shine and light up the whole of life, by simply choosing to see WE ARE LOVE?
Can we say “I Love You” to ourselves and do it without flinching, squirming or mumbling? I know I have struggled to express this to myself and stay with it. I can feel I Love myself Heaps now and yet know I still have some work to do to express it as much as I feel it. I know in the past I could not have said without hesitation and self recrimination. With all this stuff happening inside us around the concept of Loving ourselves,how can we truly say I Love You to someone else…we need to feel it to know it. It is awesome that someone is able to say they Love themselves and feel it truly, this can only be reflected and so enjoyed by those around them.
I love to express my love in many different ways. I am not a big user of the three little words and I find it wonderful to experience how I can deepen my expression. There is no end to it and I love exploring this, without putting any limits to it. When I am doing things with love and from love, then those three little words are felt in everything I do.
And I also want to add that you have so beautifully shown how we actually do need to love ourselves deeply before we can share that love with others. If we don’t love ourselves and we say ‘I love you’ to another, it just does not come with the same fullness as when we are so full of love for ourselves. And this is something we all can work on and develop – the love for ourselves so that it then spills out to all those around us!
Absolutely gorgeous to read Simone! I felt a warm glow spread through me as I read your blog and I can say that by sharing what you have, have shared the love around to us all. Thank you!
We are love, so why do we learn from a young age to put others first and look for the love at the outside? Growing up is a process of un-learning being love and when we reach adult life we have perfectly adjusted to a world who has placed everything outside of us. To know and live the love we are is what human life is about, it is time to accept this fact and stop holding on to the false interpretation of it, which we have been following far too long.
Very beautiful Simone. It is often seen as arrogant to respond like that with ‘I love me too’, but it is actually a really lovely thing to receive. It is so normal in society to make ourselves small, brush away compliments with ‘oh not really’ and ‘you look good too’ etc. and be unsatisfied with ourselves, but I must say it actually hurts when someone is so negative of themselves. It is really the greatest gift to be with someone who is in love with themselves, and by that can share a warmth and depth of love with others that is not often seen in this world (yet).
‘Someone loving themselves’ is one of the greatest ‘gestures’ of love we can share with another. I know that of myself, my partner, my kids, our postman… it is a foundation and invitation to be inspired and deepen our experience of love and relationship.
The way you express to each other is just beautiful and shows the depth of your relationship, and how sharing the words ‘I Love You’ is then just a confirmation of how you already are with each other, and not the ‘ultimate climax’ in a relationship – as society has taught us to see it as.
We place a lot of pressure on those 3 words, when really love can be expressed and shared in so many way, and the way you describe how your partner looks at you just says love in all ways possible.
It is so joyous to express our love for another, when we express our love we expand and evolve. What you are making clear for us in your beautiful blog is that is fact that we can not appreciate and love another if we have not got that first inside us. Loving ourselves and claiming it for all the world to see can feel like hard work but is ultimately worth it if we want to have any true relationship with another.
Loving yourself for me can be said without words can be communicated through movement, stillness and action, just a living way. If one truly loves themselves deeply, it is in their every move and perhaps something that is felt.
I love your blog Simone you wrote: “From the depths of the love that he has for himself, I was also able to feel that by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.” That is really a healthy way to be with others – to love myself first!
I completely agree that celebrating someone for loving themselves more is a great thing to do for it can only mean that they are able to love us more deeply and fully if they do. Self love is never selfish.
I agree Simone that in the past I too would probably have considered someone selfish or self centred if they had said ‘I love me’ in response to my declaration of love for them, but this raises a couple of interesting questions. When we say ‘I love you’ are we really saying it from our hearts with no strings attached? Or are we saying it expecting a repeat response back? Are we really meaning ‘ I want approval?’ These days I understand that if we are really feeling love towards someone it does not need reciprocation. It is simply a confirmation of the love that has already been felt and exchanged without words.
When someone truly loves themselves deeply that love emanates out from around them for everyone else to feel also.
So often we use the words ‘I love you’ but as you share here Simone we feel love way before we say it.
Super reminder Mary to discern the energy behind the giving and does it come with a true intention.
That is a great question Jacqueline, what is the intention behind – something to really be discerning about if we want to express in the true love that we are.
A gorgeous blog to re-read Simone….. it is like sitting next to a warm blazing fire, the glow of the fire melting my body.
Such an amusing light hearted blog with that absolute glorious way of turning around the word love in a way that makes it come alive and feel very fresh and intimate again. ‘I love me too’ is in this context the most loving offering back and it reflected to me as a man, how important it is to claim this and how freeing it is in a relationship.
There is absolutely no other way
Reading this blog bought a smile to my face, especially the part when Joost said ‘I love me too’, what a beautiful moment to treasure and feel the deep regard and love this man holds for himself. Rather than feeling rejected by this comment you chose to feel how his honouring of himself is a true blessing and key to a truly loving relationship.
It is so very simple that to truly allow love you have to have it for yourself and then it is easy to accept anothers love of you.
Yes me too, I love the simplicity and the honesty of it too, just awesome.
A beautiful sharing Simone on the true relationship you and Joost share together. Relationships like yours are truly powerful for everyone to be inspired by, thank you for not holding back expressing your love for each other.
Simone this is truly beautiful. I love the space there is in your relationship. For you just to be you and that nothing is asked of you. It encourages spontaneity, for ever expanding and depth between the two of you.
Simone, thank-you for sharing your exquisite blog with us. The tenderness in your photo is palpable, and upon reading your words I was struck by the level of love you have, not only for each other but for yourselves. Beautiful!
I know I have used the words I love you in the past as piecemeal as something to fill a gap, to say sorry and to justify something. Knowing the true meaning of these words is very humbling and reminds me there is an energetic quality behind everything we say and we have a responsibility to actually feel love before we say it.
When couples share their love with others we are all blessed, we have been witnessing this more and more within the student body of Universal Medicine and it feels so beautiful. This is how all of humanity could be, up to date we have been too insular with sharing our love with each other.
Reading here again, I am touched by how we picture and associate certain configurations of words with serious and important meaning. Imagine a space where we focussed not on the arrangement of letters and syllables and the things we think we need to say, but more on the energy they are said with. If you strip away the usual meanings from all that you shared today, what was the energy you were expressing? Thank you Simone, for this blog and the quality that can live in just three little words.
Ah those 3 little words – how much stock we put in them and yet at the same time, how little meaning they have come to have sometimes. We say I love you a lot when love isn’t really what we are feeling, and so we begin to associate the word love with something that isn’t love – what a huge thing to consider
So true Rebecca, at times ‘I love you’ has little meaning because it is thrown around to excuse all sorts of behaviour or because of guilt etc. When we say these 3 words from a truly loving space what another receives is exquisite and deeply healing to feel.
How often we pin everything on those three little words – that someone can’t love us until they have said it – even if in every other way they are saying that they love you or that they don’t – by relying on the words we stop feeling into the feeling behind them – is the way the person talks and behaves with you everyday that’s you who they feel
It is refreshing and inspiring to hear at the same time how beautiful the deep tender care of a man expressing all his love truly is. It is unfortunately a rarity to see this these days and a deeply needed expression on earth
The more men express in this tender way, the more they will inspire other men, they will be the role models for men to feel that it is okay to express their tenderness. This is something that has not been accepted readily in society thus far.
The true Quality of words and how we use them says everything thank you for a beautiful sharing of your relationship it is a real inspiration.
To have regard for myself, to even consider what regard for the body is, was one of the biggest revelations I had at the Universal Medicine courses. This is what saves me everyday from loosing myself to the world.
It’s really important to bust the romantic ideals and pictures we hold of what shared love truly is. This blog does this beautifully. We can have so many expectations of what love is, yet it is simply something that is felt, and can be felt in a myriad of ways. If love is not there and it’s spoken of we do feel it’s absence. If love is not spoken of but is present we feel that too.
Do we ever stop to consider that someone caring for themselves, loving themselves is equally a way of loving another – by taking responsibility for yourself and loving who you are, you ask no one else to fill that whole in you, and being complete you can then love others more fully. We see it as selfish or arrogant, believing that to love you must give all of you to another, and leave nothing for yourself, but your very sweet sharing shows that love is a sharing between two people full of love that brims over and into life.
The more we love ourselves, the more love we have to share with others. I have learnt this from Universal Medicine presentations but now know it to be true as I am living it. These days I do love myself more than ever before and I love people more than ever before so it just goes to show, that loving yourself is not selfish at all…. because once the well is full, it flows over and is there in abundance for everyone.
So true Rosie this is my experience as well. Before I was judgemental of my self and others, now I love me and love others equally, as well the more I appreciate my self the more I appreciate others.
Very true Mary-Louise, the more loving and appreciative I become towards myself the more love and appreciation there is to naturally share with others.
This blog offers a deep lived understanding of what love is, and so shows how it truly starts with how we feel about ourselves in the first place. Thanks, Simone and Joost for sharing the ‘ways’ of love with us all.
This is a love story that shows me the sweet, tender, inspiring power of responsibility (taking absolute care of ourselves) and the impact it has on others.
“It was the love inside of him, and lucky me, I get to share and feel this love with him every day” – how gorgeous Simone, yes, the love of oneself to then be able to love another. To be in receipt of someone’s own self-love is very beautiful, and to love both together with this, the ultimate in love.
‘The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.’ Beautiful definition of unconditional love which is exemplified so exquisitely through this blog and your tender photo. Thank you for both shining your amazing light in a world where deep love for self is seen as selfish rather than the essential foundation for a true relationship.
Thank you sharing a delightful blog Simone. It is a gorgeous story with the most profound and true message about how to truly love another you must first love yourself.
The love that you describe is so far away from the emotional needy love we are fed from TV, movies, books, etc. This Love feels true & solid.
Simone your article brought joy within me, to hear the response of Joost was a true delight, one we need to hear more often.
This is completely refreshing to read about a couple that live together in such a way… beautifully unusual but showing the potential of what could be everyone’s new normal.
The ease that Joost feels to say how he feels, and the beautiful foundation you both have, and not to need to hear the words ‘I love you’ is a relationship truly built from love.
Yes, for a man to feel completely free to express how he feels without needing to say ‘the right thing’ to his partner is very beautiful.
This is beautiful Sally – thank you!
A gorgeous celebration of your love Simone – when self love comes first there is such an expansion of love touching all areas of our lives.
I can feel the beautiful connection you both have Simone. When our love comes from our essence we love without need and that love is amazing.
It was truly lovely to read the love you share for each other and the beauty in your expression…. and gorgeous to feel the appreciation you have of love being expressed from a deep love for self first.
‘The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.’ How amazing to understand that true love starts with love of self and expands to all others, and how beautiful to be in a relationship where there are no expectations of a return from the other, no wish or need for them to change but simply to appreciate and share the love that is there.
So true Susan… the livingness of that love is what others feel.
Gorgeous blog Simone… your photo speaks volumes!
How beautiful is the appreciation of love too.
I love the way both of your responses to each other’s expression was so honest and clear Simone. The beauty of that moment and your ability to trust each other shows a deep commitment to appreciating the love you are in yourselves first, and from that loving relationship with self comes the loving relationship with each other. Imagine if every relationship, partner, friend, acquaintance, stranger felt their own worth in this way! Every meeting is a date with a partner in a relationship, and you have shown the way.
Yes to the awareness that every interaction with everybody is a ‘date’ and an opportunity to see/feel/know we are all connected and that our conversation with our neighbour impacts our conversation with our family, which impacts the next conversation with someone in a parking lot and the way we greet our partner at the end of the day. There is no on off switch for loving, respecting, taking care of and nurturing ourselves and others – everything builds or diminishes the other.
True Love has nothing to do with need, as soon as need comes in it is not real love it is a fake cheep substitute that we have allowed ourselves to be deceived by, and lets fact it this type of false love is found on most movies and found in mass advertising campaigns, what you talk about Simone is true and real – the world needs more of this.
Yes, Samantha, movies and advertising campaigns do not deliver the truth about love – that it pours out of our hearts when we accept and love ourselves.
I love it – I love that your partner said the words I love me too Simone. It breaks all the consciousness around these words which I feel is very much needed as they are so overloaded with ideals and beliefs.
Simone what you have shared is divine, how beautiful it is that you have built the love foundation for yourselves and then with each other. You both are an inspiration to us all.
When we put our emotions/self aside we allow true love to be felt.
Ohh Simone, your story just expanded my heart immensely. What you describe is what true love is made up of. The love for ourselves equally showered upon another. Loved it. So much so I’m going in for another re-read.
This article encompasses for me the power of surrender… so so incredibly beautiful
That really is a ‘love story, Simone and one that is real and one that we can all feel is true. As you say ‘ I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first’ – this is an amazing statement and one that I am finding to be true for me too.
What great joy to re-read this, it just is wonderful to witness this quality of self care and self love being expressed.
Through Universal Medicine teachings I have also learned what true love is and the most important thing I have ever learnt is how to love myself.
I couldn’t agree more Rik… an amazing wisdom shared that has had extraordinary ripple effects all coming from this power of this foundation.
‘The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.’ This is a huge difference to how we have come to know what we call love over the years – so freeing to feel the expression of true love.
When we learn that there is a deeper level of communication going on in relationships, the ‘I love you’ is easier or harder to say depending on our ability to be totally open.
This is such a beautiful deep sharing of the love you both share. A real inspiration bringing real truth and love to us all to feel as it is who we are and what we know inside us all.
Such a beautiful tender sharing of the exquisite love between you and your partner Simone, something we can all aspire to by first Loving ourselves! Thank you both for your inspiration.
I love how this story smashes through those ideals that we aren’t supposed to put ourselves first. It makes sense that if we build up our own love bank there is then more to share with others – it’s not about holding it in for self – it’s about building it up in order to share it with others. Such a beautiful expression Simone to explain the science of this.
I love how your describe filling our own love bank first, Gina. It makes so much sense then that we have oodles of love to share with another and the celebration of that together makes for a beautiful relationship.
Yes we build up the deposits in our love bank there is more than enough to go around and it is reflected in all our relationships.
What an exquisite sharing Simone. Such a powerful message to bring to the world – to understand we can only fully love another if we love ourselves first.
And that taking care and responsibility of loving ourselves is the bedrock of all our relationships with everyone.
Yes Elizabeth, this is what a true love story is about, this is something that needs to be read by everyone to touch and feel our hearts instead of giving our hearts away.
‘Feeling the quality of his voice as he shared this with me brought tears to my eyes.’ It is never about the words but always about the quality from within, the connection with our body , we are living every day.
Yes, Annelies, the exquisite quality of the relationship between Simone and Joost can be strongly felt reading this blog, so we too get to enjoy and share in the beauty of true love.
And the appreciation of love too…
So true Annelies and as we unfold the quality from within expands and deepens our expression and we feel more vital and alive.
Absolutely Annelies… and without the quality of connection, words cannot deliver truth.
Simone thank you for this deeply gorgeous sharing. It is so true that without loving and appreciating ourselves we cannot truly love and appreciate another. All too often in society we deem that bring full of oneself is ‘bad’ or ‘selfish’ yet in truth, it is this quality of being full of Love for oneself that builds a solid foundation for us to be able to share this Love in all our relationships.
What model for a relationship Simone and Joost! This blog needs to get out there in the mainstream to reflect to the world how love is not insular and how it can free us to be more of who we are.
Absolutely Bernadette. What Simone has shared of her relationship is a great example of how loving ourselves first not only allows another to be who they are in full, as there is no need or expectation or imposition for them to be anything else, but also inspires another to explore the depths Love we are, to no end.
So true Bernadette, It is so inspiring and such a celebration of love in the truest sense.
Your partners response was just magnificent, so loving divine and inspirational; as are you Simone.
That love just ‘is’ and is for all is what I felt when I re read your blog Simone. When we believe it to be just between two or the select few, it is not true love at all.
Yes Bernadette love just ‘is’ no effort just allowing to express what we feel inside and that’s for all to enjoy. It is such a joy to read and re read this blog.
Each time I read the words “I love me”, I am finding that I am beginning to open up and allow myself to feel this too…”I love me” simple easy no expectation no guilt.
And it is something that deepens each day Alison – I love bringing more love to me – somedays feel stronger than others – but then I realise it is the deepening love of myself that allows me to come back from tougher days in moments and not months, like it took before. This is a miracle I daily celebrate.
I just love Joost’s beautiful claiming of himself in his ” I love me too.” I felt the deep love between you Simone held Joost in a space that allowed him to express so honestly, openly and freely.
Yes, how unimposing is Simone’s love that Joost is free to celebrate all that he is.
I agree Janet. Simone’s appreciation and love for Joost carries no expectations and so allows him to explore and celebrate all the Love he is, and as such the Love they are and share together.
Yes, Carola, it is very beautiful to have the freedom to fully be ourselves and be celebrated in doing so by another.
Beautifully observed Rosemary.
Sharing such a beautiful unconditional love is an inspiration to us all to break the old patterns of emotional and needy relationships to ones that are based on true love and this can only come when there is true love starting from inside each and every one of us.
So true Kevin. Love without any need but with a deep knowing that we are already love.
Love is without need and as we build the acceptance of this in our lives every relationship blossoms.
I smiled from ear to ear when I read your blog this morning. What a beautiful way to start the day.
‘ But now I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.’ – Simone – we seemed to have lost this gem along the way – that self love is so important as a foundation for people to love themselves and each other. the more I become aware of this, the more I instantly feel in others when they have given their power away to helping and loving other people without having that same love for themselves, and their whole bodies are crying out for self love. As you say – it brings a solidness that is just inspiring and very attractive.
very true Hannah, when there is the love of self there, there is no neediness for another’s love or expectation. The body is more free, open, full, content… and thus more likely to pull a more true partner.
‘From the depths of the love that he has for himself, I was also able to feel that by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.’ In our society the phrase he or she ‘loves them self’ has come to have negative connotations suggesting that someone is arrogant but this excerpt and blog as a whole reveals the truth which is in fact that loving ourselves is the first step in loving everyone else.
Michael that is true loving ourselves first is the first step to loving everyone else. How can we love others if there is no love for the self.
Quite Michael, it would most definitely seem arrogant, and if I received that answer from a guy years ago [before i knew what love was – a livingness] i would have thought he was being rather odd, and probably have been upset… however, it’s not the words, but the quality someone says it in that is the deciding factor… and that quality is from a lived way that becomes part of the body’s communication, and so isn’t strange to hear this communication, but normal, embraced and – loved. It’s when it’s not lived that reaction as opposed to open response happens.
Love is for everyone equally, at the same time we can only love another as much as we love ourselves. Knowing these two simple energetic laws brings a huge understanding and awareness to why so many of us end up in not truly loving relationships. We settle for games, arrangements and conditional love – a far cry from the experience you have shared here Simone.
Yes, Jenny, we settle for games and dramas when we do not truly love ourselves, as we are constantly searching for something outside of ourselves to fill the void we feel inside. Loving ourselves is the most important first step towards true love as this beautiful expression of love confirms.
It is alarming the extent for which we have settled for games arrangements and conditional love … and yet if we learnt to deeply love ourselves first, we would never allow this as we would feel and know that we deserve, and love offers, so much more.
The depth of love is felt in this blog and radiates out for us all. Inspiring Simone, thankyou.
Yes jacqmcfadden04 as our love for ourselves and each other deepens it reflects the possibilities of a truly loving relationship to others.
“From the depths of the love that he has for himself, I was also able to feel that by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.”
This is gorgeous Simone, and lovely that you receive it in this way.
In relationship when one of us is doing really well and expanding in their lives, we often can feel like the other person is leaving us behind, and it brings up insecurity in us that they might leave us.
We then sometimes try to pull them down to the level they were at, instead of joining them at the new more loving platform that is available.
All the roles we play out in relationship in order to try to feel appreciated and loved by the other are futile, as what we truly yearn for is self love and appreciation.
So true Thomas. When we seek the Love we miss within ourselves in relationships, we never will be satisfied as no-one can give us the Love that we already are within. It is in truth our connection to our Love that we truly seek and naturally love to share the fullness of our Love with all.
Love your words Thomas, they are a great reminder to confirm and appreciate ourselves, with self love we build our love for everyone else, letting the world can seem scary at first but ultimately is fundamental if we want Love to be our way.
Thank you for sharing this intimate part of your life Simone – I felt the depth of love Joost holds himself in, and holds you in equally. It is deeply touching to feel.
It is s rare phenomenon to hear someone express how much they love themselves Michelle, we are in a global situation where humanity is constantly judging, criticizing and berating themselves always striving to be better. This in turn creates a world where people are not loving to one another, and the inner conflict and lack of self love then gets cast outward creating outer conflict, and deeds of cruelty, hatred, wars, and murder.
To truly arrest the vile way in which humanity conducts itself, we must all return to a foundation of deep self love and appreciation.
Beautifully put Susan, when we introduce deep self love and appreciation, all our relationships change, from relationships based of mutual need and agreement that we exchange deeds or need with one another, too an expansiveness of sharing the love we feel in our bodies with everyone we meet.
So beautiful Simone. When love is truly expressed as you’ve shared here, we all get the blessing and healing from this. If only all couples in the world expressed and lived this way — what would our world be like then 🙂
Good question Katerina and well worth considering – our world would be very different from how it is now. This blog is an inspirational example of the expression of true love in relationships.
The world would be a different place. In truth relationships are about evolving and reflecting this to others. Imagine a world with this kind of coupledom everywhere we went.
Coupledom is lived first self-lovedom
Thanks for sharing Doug – that is really wonderful.
Thanks for sharing Simone, that is divine, I love it. It took me by surprise as well. I thought when you said “I love you”, that your partner would say “I love you too”. I love his answer “I love me too”. We are all love on the inside and when one person feels his love, we get reminded on our love as well, that is just wonderful.
Yes it took me by surprise too, beautifully so, because it was then an opportunity to consider more deeply all the patterns, expectations etc that I carry around.
“I can see how easy it would be to put this down as someone being arrogant or ‘up themselves’” Yes it could be easy to see it that way but it is true, it is absolutely the most gorgeous thing to feel someone love themselves so deeply. It is a joy to be around such a person. We are so used to being hard on ourselves and not loving ourselves and in such a situation it would be felt as offending for someone else to then say ‘I love me too’ as it then highlights the lack of self-love ourselves. Yet if you are in the same appreciation of yourself it is the most gorgeous thing to receive. As well as that it can be deeply inspiring to love yourself more if you feel the lack in such a moment.
A beautiful blog Simone, thank you for sharing it with the world!, You show how self love is equally loving another
Anything we do is another opportunity to be more loving with ourselves…
After reading this blog and these comments i feel that any relationship is another opportunity to be more loving with ourselves.
“The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything.” This is really beautiful Simone. This is the power and beauty of self-love, that we can allow people to be themselves without imposing our needs on them, asking them to be a certain way or do certain things. And people are crying out to feel themselves in a world where they are constantly being asked to be something different.
Thank you, Simone. It brings so much joy to share with another how much we love ourselves, in the knowing that true love cannot but be for all.
The name of the game is Love, so when we feel the love within and can share the love with another, it’s game over.
Absolutely Matthew, no games need to be played when we choose to express love. There are no games in love.
I love this Matthew. There are no games in love. We can drop the fortress, share our love and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. As you say – ‘game over’.
This blog is exceptionally sweet and tender, because it is about an exceptionally sweet and tender man. Thank you Simone for letting us in to your life.
This is beautiful Simone, ‘The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.’ This feels like true love, when someone loves themselves and is then fully able to love another, rather than someone not loving themselves and being in need of another.
How absolutely gorgeous this blog is. So full of love, it holds us all.
Simone, I love how you felt fully embraced by your partner when he said ‘I love me too” knowing that if he is truly able to love himself then he is able to truly love you too. This needs to be known by all of humanity then we would see truly loving relationships not the arrangements that most marriages are.
Yes, this kind of relationship breaks the mould and shows the world how free and simple true love can be – no dramas and no contracts to keep each other lesser.
Its so simple. How can we love another if we can’t feel that deep love for ourselves first?
Evolution is such a turn on! I love what you’ve shared Jane and feel the same way when my partner surrenders to feeling his own love for himself. It’s how reflection works, we see and communicate the love we know ourselves to be with each other we are actually having a relationship with ourselves.
‘Evolution is such a turn on!’ This is so true..
I find that so attractive! When someone expresses a deep love for themselves, when they confirm or appreciate who they are without having to do anything other then just be, it’s inspiring and engaging and totally delightful. This is such a solid foundation for relationships to grow from, when the soil is rich with self-love first and watered generously with confirmation then the love we can share with another has limitless potential.
A very precious blog Simone, that captures the beauty you and Joost have together and from knowing you personally, the way you both are together communicates this preciousness consistently.
When we meet and connect to another having built a strong foundation of self-love and care first, only then is a loving and harmonious relationship possible, because how can two people who don’t deeply appreciate and love themselves, suddenly create a loving relationship out of nowhere? If we don’t have this foundation of self love, we expect and demand love from the other, but they are in the same position, not having a foundation of self love, they also look to you for love, we call this relationship, but it is in fact a arrangement where we decide to settle for getting our needs met, and fulfilling the needs of the other, but not having that depth of love that is possible.
Ordinarily as men we are not familiar or taught in any way about self care of any form, our bodies are often seen and a vehicle to use and abuse, to get us to our chosen life style, what ever that may be, sport, work, recreation Etc. So when the concept (as it was very much a concept in my mind) of loving oneself was first introduced to me by the teachings of Serge Benhayon, I didn’t really know what that meant or looked like in a practical sense. But over time I have started to appreciate, honor and even love myself at times, and have found the more I do this the more love I am able to bring into my relationship, friendships.
“The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.”
To me this is true love and relationship, as its not demanding from the other person in any way, spoken or un-spoken, many time in relationship we settle for less than this and it becomes a mutual arrangement, or contract where one does something for the other, with the expectation that the deed will be re-paid. This is a far cry from un-conditional love of the other, and is based on the false notion that we can get love from another, and that it is something that comes from outside of ourselves. By learning to appreciate, deeply honor and love our bodies and who we are first, is the only way to bring true love into our relationships with others and the whole planet.
Thank you for sharing the love that you share with your partner with us all Simone, it felt courageous and very personal. It made me reflect how I mostly share with others when things are difficult or challenging in my relationship, but not the beautiful, loving times we have, and often focus too much on the issues rather than appreciating the love.
That’s such an honest sharing Thomas, so many of us do this, instead of celebrating those precious moments we can have with our partner and letting them be our focus, and hence what we build on. It’s like we may be afraid that if we share about the gold, the gold may be taken from us or lost — when of course is not true, because the gold we are celebrating is what we feel within us first and then share intimately with another, and from there with the whole world. The expression of love… in activity for everyone.
‘…by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.’ This is the benchmark for love in any relationship, be it with our partner, children, parents, team, customers and clients. We cannot truly love another until we know, embody and live that love in and of ourselves first.
I agree Simone, to feel the love someone has for themselves is of the most touching to feel, and sadly this is yet to be what is most common. To even have the introduced the notion that we are ‘up ourselves’ if we express the love we feel ourselves to be, or hold ourselves in, is really quite outrageous, but this is exactly what we’re fed. So where does that come from? It seems to me that the number one culprit in this is jealousy. When another reflects to us the love they have claimed for themselves, if we have not we have one of two choices; appreciate and be inspired, or compare and become jealous. With all that there is to appreciate in ourselves and each other there need never be any reason to consider otherwise
Powerful blog Simone, very unique too. How worthy it is to have and be in a relationship with yourself and someone who equally pays loving attention to his own relationship. And come together and build love within. I find this the essence of relationships, which is always evolving in one way or the other.
And that is the true foundation for any relationship with anyone, be it lover or friend or family or new people we meet, to live the love and respect and appreciation for our selves first. The rest will follow.
Thank you Simone for your beautiful and warm sharing. I could really connect with all that you touched on and shared with everyone, and what I found resonated deeply with me was this: “The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.” This is such a key ‘ingredient’ or way of being that can and will make any relationship so much more authentic and loving-in-truth.
Your blog put a smile on my face, Simone, it was so lovely to read. The awareness that it is only to the extent we love ourselves that we can love another is the most natural thing in the world, however, we learn from young, that it is all about other people first. “I love me too ” is such an awesome response and leaves you to be exactly who you are. Beautiful. Thank you.
The deeper we connect to love, the more we realise that three words alone can never encapsulate all that love represents. It is simply too grand.
Too grand indeed Adam, and words just don’t do it justice.
Beautifully said Adam, there is no way that love can be contained to simply three words. It is far grander and far more enveloping than that.
Love is the grandness of the Universe available for all equally and is shared and magnified when we truly live all the love that we are from with-in us. This is our connection to love, it not something another can plug or fill in for us.
And it is forever evolving.
This is so important to share Simone to debase the stigma of someone being ‘up themselves “when they express love for themselves.
How beautiful to freely express “I love me too” and to deeply mean it and express it without any thought or holding back.
Yes, it’s very inspiring.
So gorgeous to read Simone, thank you for sharing.
Absolutely beautiful Simone. Thank you for sharing this…
I wonder if, in the future, we will naturally replace the traditional three words of ‘ I love you’ with ‘I am love’?
Perhaps in the future words will not be so necessary
What a blessing, Simone, to read this love-filled account, and to see the beautiful photo of you both.
Agreed Janet, a very beautiful blessing indeed.
This is a true love story. If the love that someone has for themselves is shining in their eyes you cannot but feel it and share it. So different to the need that is usually mistaken for love.
Rebecca absolutely the eyes share a lot and the love shines through, it is beautiful to feel.
A huge compliment Simone, as it clearly confirms he has chosen your loving support to come to the place of truly loving himself and there is no where else he would rather be. In particular being a man and expressing this is deeply moving as often with men it is what you see is what you get, no bluff and this is an expression of being ‘all in’.
To have such a love for oneself is the foundation for everything in life.
True Felix. Without it we are on an elusive search to fill the emptiness that can only be truly filled by love itself, the love we already are.
Love is expressed in so many ways and cannot be reduced to just using the words “I love you” as love is grand. Sometimes these words are the appropriate words to express and feel true and honouring, other times other words and gestures are used to demonstrate and express love. That is the beauty of love, it is forever expanding and therefore how it is expressed too will change depending on the situation.
“From the depths of the love that he has for himself, I was also able to feel that by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way”. A gorgeous, true reflection of an amazing relationship between two people built on a foundation of love, who are not holding back in their expression of the love they truly are.
Beautiful sharing Simone. Your blog exposes how evolving it is for another to express their love of themselves and shows this is the real way forward for true health and relationships to be possible. Thank you.
How beautiful to honour each other and yourselves in this simple way, ‘I love me too’
How often is there an immediate response of “I love you too” to “I love you” or nothing at all but a silence? To truly accept and hear these words from another we have to love ourselves first.
This is so true Jenny, ‘How often is there an immediate response of “I love you too” to “I love you” it is considered polite to respond in this way, i have also noticed this if someone compliments someone else on how nice they look, the usual acceptable response is to say ‘you look nice too’, I can feel that if i do this it is being polite rather than being true and enjoying and accepting what is being shared.
Simone, this beautiful blog just oozes love, true love, unconditional love, from the gorgeous photograph of you and Joost, and all you have shared here, I can feel the love of you both radiating out from your family to the whole of humanity. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful experience with us all, true role models of how we all need to be living for our world to eventually be living truly harmoniously with unconditional love for each other.
The words “I LOVE YOU” are very powerful words that can bring so much joy, love, connection, appreciation and more.
But for these words to be delivered with that in truth, can only come from the love within us. But this love within us is ignited when we have a loving relationships with ourselves and this love begins to be truly expressed in our movement, our words, how we treat ourselves and all this is then naturally expressed to another.
Karoline how simple is it to consider that to say “I Love you” has to come from someone who already deeply and truly loves themselves. A very simple point but one as you say that comes not only from words but from the movements we are with ourselves first and with all others equally.
This is a great sharing Simone, it is not until we truly love ourselves that we can bring that to another, because it is in the way we live, how Joost loves you in his way, gestures and words to you, he could express because of the love within him. But when we are not feeling a love for ourselves, there is a need to get that and often it is direct outside of us to others. So when we say “i love you” from a place of need what we really mean is, “i need you’, tell me how much you love me so i know i am a worthy, loveable person.
Beautifully said Karoline and very true, there is not ounce of love in emotional or needy love, when we truly love ourselves the love we offer another is all encompassing and ask for nothing in return.
Gorgeous to re-read your blog Simone and to really feel the quality of love both you and your partner share, knowing that this is something we can all live for ourselves when we choose love for self first. Just exquisite!
“The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.” Simone that is so beautiful to read, that is true unconditional love. What an amazing level of love you and Joost are sharing in your true relationship, where you have each a very deep love of yourselves and from that space, you share that love with each other. This is the way for all relationships to eventually go, when humanity learns this way of living, a true way to live life. Wow for the day that humanity begins to really wake up to itself, and begin to live life that way. That will be the beginning of true harmony in the world.
Beautifully said Beverly!
Yes, I agree Beverley – when we all re-member the natural and true way of living and live it, the face of humanity will change forever from individualism to brotherhood.
“That will be the beginning of true harmony in the world.”
So well said Beverley and one can feel that that love they share with each other is a love that is not exclusive but is inclusive of all.
In Dutch there is a song that is called “I love me” about someone singing that about himself and how unusual that is and then singing I love you in the mirror. But I feel a difference between the song with similar words and the depth of the love in what you wrote. One ‘I love me’ is lived and real and the other feels like just the words.
What a gorgeous love letter or love statement you wrote, Simone. Thank you for sharing your relationship and the abundance of love that is there with all of us.
“I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.” Someone loving you without loving themselves first has nothing to offer for there is no love there in the first place. Every relationship starts with the relationship we have with ourselves. The more love we have for ourselves the more we have to share.
Absolutely Monika, if there is no love for ourselves simply, it is not love that we are sharing but a need for that.
Well put – a need that will do all sorts of unloving things to be recognised and filled somehow, mostly looking to the outside for that,
Simone, this is so gorgeous, “I love me too.” It is so rare to hear someone say this but when i do hear it it feels really lovely and true, if I say to my 5 year old son you are gorgeous or lovely he says I know, and he tells me that he loves himself, this feels completely natural, but I have noticed that often when children say this usually they are laughed at and so they seem to stop saying it and so as adults it is not very acceptable to say ‘I love myself’ when in fact this is the most natural way for us to feel about ourselves.
I don’t say ‘I love you’ that often but I love expressing my love to people in using sweet names, expressing my appreciation, give them a hug or hold hands or saying what I like about them. But then when we are connected and in our love, we express love all the time.
Yes, Mariette, there can be a lot of pressure on the words “I love you’. Some people desperately want to hear just those words, while there are thousands of ways of expressing you love another without those words.
So true, hanging out for those words just shows us where we feel lack within our selves and to start to connect truly to ourselves and express that we do love our selves is a great way of starting to really feel this as a truth that can be shared.
Beautiful Mariette. I love how Simone described Joost in this way. Very beautiful to express love that is lived in so many different ways. Love is felt and can’t rely on words to do the job.
Yes Mariette, that is so true. Those three words do not even need to be mentioned.. As love comes not with with words – but lived connection.
Exactly, love is felt and can be a felt expression in many ways.
I love this audio Doug, thank you for posting here.
A friend yesterday shared with me she loved me, it was awesome to hear and having being inspired by this blog I said “I love me too!” I was a bit hesitant at first to say it but once said it was a great confirmation to us a both, as we both know we can not love anyone if we at first do not love ourselves.
I love what you have shared Samantha….also when we have a loving relationship with ourselves and we share that with another who do not have that with themselves, they get to feel love in truth…as we do not want anything from them, it is our expression of the fullness of love in appreciation of what we feel about them, their quality! When we do not have a loving relationship with ourselves, we don’t appreciate our qualities, and who we are.
So true Karoline :”When we do not have a loving relationship with ourselves, we don’t appreciate our qualities, and who we are.”
How beautiful this is Samantha – claiming and confirming love for ourselves first opens the way for loving others. How inspiring these blogs and their comments are, supporting everyone who reads them to re-connect deeper with their own innate essence.
The difference between a love that has a foundation of a deep appreciation rather than one built on a need or an expectation for someone to be a particular way.
The difference you point out here Nicole is worlds apart. When we build the love in our body we also build our sense of worth. With this, settling for a relationship based on need and expectation just won’t do.
So true Sara. When we build this love for ourselves first it changes everything.
Absolutely Sara… this is a game changer.
And felt by everyone who reads this blog, sees the photo and connects – it can’t but emanate to all, touching all, love this blog.
Your gorgeous photo offers a profound and beautiful, intimate moment to be shared with the world. Thank you Simone and Joost for giving permission to publish this.
“Published with permission from my partner for life – the sweet, tender and ever-loving Joost Blom.”
Through attending Serge Benhayon’s presentations, I have made new choices that have supported me to let go of the unworthiness and self doubt that ran through my life to enjoy a deep level of appreciation of loving myself as never before. About a year ago someone said “I love you” to me and my response was similar to Simone’s partner – “Yes I am loving myself too!”.
It caused a reaction about how full of myself I was (in a negative way) to which a grin came across my face as I playfully answered “oh yes, thank God I am now able to celebrate being more full of myself – it has taken a long while to accept it!”. Thank you Serge Benhayon – I have moved a million miles away from where I once was and know there is so much more to embrace.
With out the work of Serge Benhayon I would not be in the loving beautiful, tender relationship I have now, Serge Benhayon has reminded me of what is the truth about love and re- ignighted in me the love that was always there. When we re-connect to this light all our relationships can not but flourish. We are masters of Love it is our natural birth right and getting back to this innateness is our everyday responsibility.
And this photograph of you both is absolutely heart melting. No need for words…. We can FEEL the love ?
Absolutely Kathryn – total melt factor!
The body language in this photo communicates surrender loud and clear – surrender to the love you are and let the world in to feel it too.
We can yes definitely.
Deeply beautiful Simone. Thank you 🙂
Yes Susan, and a gorgeous reminder that when we take care of ourselves – and love ourselves deeply, this same care and love is naturally shared and felt by others in our lives.
Such a lovely and deeply confirming story of celebrating the love we already truly are.
Yes Susan , a beautiful reminder.
‘The words “I love you” literally burst out of my mouth! He looked back deeply into my eyes and said, “I love me too.” – very gorgeous.
Turns out I love me too 🙂
Love this Joel – awesome expression!
Simone what you have written feels energetically ground breaking. I felt what you shared deep within my body, thank you for sharing an intimate moment that has the ability to transform the intimate moments of others.
What an absolutely gorgeous blog Simone, thank you for sharing. You and your partner are shining the light on what it means to be in a truly loving relationship. I feel such joy and love for you both, what a blessing.
A blessing indeed, I feel this blessing too and will come back to this blog often…
Expressing the love that we feel for ourselves is totally in…
Totally!
The new black.
The greatest love is when one loves them selves and lets themselves out, it is asking others to also release their love for themselves and connect with the glory of such a moment, oh what a joy it is to see two in love, and in their glory for the joy of such wonderment is magnified between them and they know they are the Sons of God.
The way of expressing love that you share here, Simone, is true love. It is liberating, empowering and loving – it is love.
Clearly so Jonathan, what a lovely way to communicate – liberating and empowering on every level.
You really do have a beautiful foundation of love to build on together – and so lovely to share this with us. I feel love being ignited and healing happening throughout the comments and within me too.
Yes Elaine, this whole blog site is one of re-ignition, re-connection and pure healing. Thank God we have websites like these, there is so much abusive harmful material out there, it is so very refreshing to find articles and blogs that confirm that genuine loveliness of who we.
Hear hear – I so agree, it is very refreshing and deeply nurturing to first read the blog and connect to the energy in which it was written as well as all these confirming and supportive comments and further experiences, a true gem indeed!
What a beautiful sharing Simone. ‘I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.’ This is such a deep truth that few have currently mastered. You show an amazing way forward for us all in our relationships by your example.
Thank you Simone for sharing this moment of love between you and your partner – this is what the world needs more of.
Well said Susan, having that deep respect and regard for yourself is such a massive part of a relationship being successful. it feels like a simple equation to me – I respect myself – the more I respect others.
Hear hear, so it is.
Yes, the more loving, open and appreciative I am with myself, the more loving, open and transparent I naturally am with others. There is nothing that is needed from the other, because everything I need already resides within me.
I just melt every time I read this Simone. The beauty of a man expressing from deep within, that tenderness and honesty of that heartfelt love is very palpable and a joy to read. Thank you for sharing Simone of the forever deepening quality of your relationship you have with your partner which then is felt by everyone else.
Yes, to the inspiration of, and support felt, when men express so sweetly, powerfully and tenderly – a forever invitation to surrender to the fragility and power that we are. Everything relinquished to Love.
When we have true love for ourselves or for another we cannot but love all others equally so for this is the nature of love.
Yes, Michael, and that is felt in this blog too. We are love and cannot but share this with everybody equal.
This is very true Michael. Love is all encompassing and beholding of all.
I love your expression Michael, so simple and such truth, something to always remind ourselves of.
A very beautiful intimate blog from the picture down. Very lovely. Thank you for sharing guys!!
Simone its beautiful to read your story about those three little words. I remember that to me they were everything, for someone to say them meant I was worth something, I was important, I was loved. Yet in your story and my experience in the last decade its not about the words at all, its about the quality of relationship. Firstly to myself and then with another, the words are just confirming what is already there. I also love how gifts and gestures are inspired and about what is true not what a marketing campaign has dictated is given to “show love”. It’s crazy when I look back and how I ran my life and relationships by waiting for ” I love You” or how I could use ” I Love You” when I know I’ve done something unloving – this part I can still find myself dropping back into as if words mean more than actions and choices. So much to consider, but so much to appreciate.
My understanding of the profoundness of deeply loving self in all our movements and ways and releasing all images attached to this, has started to unfold in action and knowingness in a very deep way in my life. Gone are any feelings of being taken for granted, expectations of being told ‘I love you’ or holding back freely expressing love in presence, action or words with others. What you have shared Simone is the essence and emanation of love as expressed with integrity, responsibility, commitment and joy. If all of Humanity was to live this love, the love floating around our planet in relationships between all people, all workplaces, all counties – Wow – how fiery would that be. A gorgeous and truly inspiring article – thank you for sharing.
Beautifully expressed, Christine “What you have shared Simone is the essence and emanation of love as expressed with integrity, responsibility, commitment and joy. ” That says it all really, and when humanity begins to live this love and way of life, then we will have the beginning of a true harmony in the world. I just love this blog, Simone is describing what true love and a true relationship can be.
How is it that we find ourselves in a world where to simply say ‘I Love me’ is virtually the act of a revolutionary? How can it be that our basis for relationships is needing another like a missing piece of a puzzle? What’s going on when we throw flowery words around like confetti, yet never feel the blooming of Love in our heart? Your words break apart Simone, this world we currently live in and show us a path, based on self-care to a place where our words again carry weight, meaning and worth. Because underneath everything that we say is the love that we hold for ourselves.
I agree with you Joseph, for us to say ‘I love me’, is certainly revolutionary in our present world. I was brought up to not regard myself as important, it was very selfish to put oneself first in any way. I was so held back in my development of myself through that false belief, am learning to really love myself, but it has been a mixed path to get to that point, lots of old ideals and beliefs had to go by the board. Simone and Joost are showing us what true love is, it is not about the words ‘I love you’, but is a love for themselves that is then taken out to the other as a great sharing, this is ‘true love’, unconditional love Such a beautiful sharing from Simone.
True Joseph, it is revolutionary and even somewhat of a rebellious act…seeing as it is so far away from the way most people are living…
I loved the intimacy with which you shared Simone, I felt wrapped and held in it from your first sentence, the love that you both have for yourselves, spreading itself far and wide so that all of us get to share in it too. How magical and magnificent is that?
The love you share in this blog is so exquisite Simone, although it is not my everyday normal I can feel it is actually the true nature of all of us to be like that. Loving ourselves in full first, and from there we cannot else then love everybody equally.
Beautiful photo, beautiful sharing.
I so agree, it is a heart-felt sharing that will be felt by all that have the opportunity to read and connect to this awesome sharing,
Bringing attention to those 3 little words is much needed, as if most of us are honest, we don’t actually feel love when we say or hear them. It was gorgeous to read Simone’s blog where I could feel ‘I love you’ in appreciating how she felt or sharing beauty from nature with her. It was also lovely to feel the love shared was coming from within, not as a need or demand and how much space that left for each person and the relationship to grow.
It’s interesting that when we feel we “need” love, all we can do is feel anothers love but we cannot take it inside of us. It might though inspire our own love to rise within ourselves, which is what feels great. What we truly all do need is to reconnect to the love within, love ourselves, and share that love everyday. As we learn to live the love that we are 24/7, it becomes something that everyone can feel – strangers and loved ones alike. It is no longer reserved for a select few. Everyone is then blessed by our love.
Thank you Simone for such a beautiful sharing, it brought tears to my eyes .
Simone, you and your partner are truly showing us what true love looks like. It is real and alive and literally warms your heart to see and feel. A huge reflection for us all. Thank-you.
Knowing now what true relationship is, it is actually impossible to share love with another unless this love is first felt and lived deeply within myself first. When I sense that another is not loving themselves, it is quite a repelling energy. To deeply love oneself is magnetic.
Yes so true, to deeply love oneself is magnetic – it can’t be anything but and is wonderful to behold and really acknowledge and appreciate.
I absolutely adore the picture of you two, sharing a tender, intimate moment. There is so much love, of yourselves and each other captured here.
Knowing you both more as I do now, I feel this love within and between you and it is very, very beautiful.
What this blog so beautifully shows is that when a person has committed to living in a self loving way everyday, their love is available to be felt and expressed all the time. This challenges the notion that in romance we need to “find the one” and then we will have love. The love is there to be lived inside ourselves first and then is available to share with others.
Wow, Simone, your blog has blown me away this morning – it is a simply gorgeous demonstration of what self love is and the impact on others when we live this love and allow ourselves to shine without fear of rejection or jealousy etc from others. This is a stunning example of what true relationships can look like. Thank you for sharing.
The depth of love we feel for another is always a reflection of the grandness of love we feel from within. Uttering the words “I love you” would only be true if we could first feel the truth of “I love me”.
Hear hear, truth spoken!
And self-appreciation and self-care are precursors for this. It is super practical to build our love for ourselves – it is the building block for everything else in life.
It is how what is said or done not what is said and done.
Absolutely Fiona, quality is everything
Yes with the energy the delivery has been carried out, that’s what is felt.
‘I was enjoying being with him more today than ever.’ This phrase too is super-important. How many couples can claim that? More often than not it’s some sort of perverse ‘badge of honour’ to put down husbands and wives and joke about the dismal state of one’s marriage. Simone’s words prove it is possible to actually love your partner MORE each day rather than see partnership as a hardship or convenience.
Very well said, for whoever reads this he or she will feel the love and appreciation that is truly possible in a relationship and so how we can not only feel it but actually express it and holding no resentment towards a person, but hold him or her in the love they deserve to be held.
I agree Danna that is what is special about this blog that anyone reading it can feel the possibility in a relationship based on truth for themselves, the other and everyone else.
Very beautiful Simone! Feeling the depth of appreciation of yourself and your partner is so strong.. And so again beautiful! This is what a true relationships stand on, as we should be difined by our love and not the lack of love, as this blog shows us. Thank you.
I love that line Danna, “This is what a true relationships stand on, as we should be difined by our love and not the lack of love.” How often do we define our relationship based on the things that are not love, I know I have done that in the past, when all we have to do is simply appreciate and express the love we have for each other.
I love that too – its an awesome reminder to truly check in how we define our selves and others we are in relationship with.
Super Gorgeous Simone – you and your partner. I recently heard an audio called “those three little words” about those exact same words here: http://www.unimedliving.com/voice/whats-on-in-the-world/when-you-say-i-love-you-does-it-come-with-love.html which brings another perspective.
Absolutely Nicola “super” powerful blog Simone, so simple and true to say the words “I love you”, which means so much when there is an understanding, love has to come from self first, it is not selfish to come to the true understanding of love. A great choice in audio’s I agree “another perspective” is always welcome when we are open to finding the truth.
Thank you Nicola, there is a respnsibility to us, not to only say ‘I love you’ as that can come from a void, but to live that love in everything we do and then we will emanate that love to everybody we meet, even without saying it.
Its beautiful Simone, how by deepening our connection with our Love expands and enables us to share more of who we are with everyone.
The magic of the moment you shared can be felt in your loving expression of it; such is the effect of love. Thank you for sharing this Simone.
This is a beautiful testament to love you both have for yourselves. Simone, that you were able to hear those words without needing them to be about you is a gorgeous confirmation of your relationship with yourself – not to mention the love and trust between you both. Very inspiring.
…and the fact that she was able to hear those words and celebrate the amazing man sitting before her who was celebrating himself is also a gorgeous confirmation.
There is a simplicity shared here that is the key to true harmony and wellbeing. Love, care and appreciation for one’s self eliminates the need and demands we make on ourselves and on others. This is a life and world changer when we eventually learn to live it!
I agree Bernadette, that the world will be very different when this is the way we are in our homes and relationships. There are a lot of false ideas to let go of before we do live it. Serge Benhayon has supported me to question what I was raised to think was normal in a relationship and what the love meant in a relationship. He has consistently presented that the first relationship we need to develop is the one with ourselves. Whereas the love I grew up with was all about finding love ‘out there’.
This will certainly be a life and world changer when we eventually learn to live the way that Simone and Joost are living their relationship. This is true relationship, loving oneself first, then loving the other from that gorgeous space of love. This is real unconditional love, the love that Jesus came to the world to show us. When the world begins to live that way, a true way of harmony and wellbeing, what a harmonious world we will be developing.
I am the same in that regard that it’s hard for me to utter those three words ‘I love you’. It’s not that I haven’t an enormous amount of love inside me it’s just that for me I have to put into words what it is that I love about someone, that’s how it works for me. Those three words doesn’t cut it for me. Knowing this and honouring it is an enormous relief and honouring of myself. Being caught in the merry-go-round of thinking you have to please someone with responding back or saying it every now and then because you’re expected to is a huge unnecessary pressure we put on ourself and perhaps others.
It’s a great point you make here Matts about honouring our own true expression of love. When we express truly from ourselves, regardless of the exact words we choose, people really do feel the love expressed. “I love you” is such a limited expression.
I agree Matts. I have been enjoying exploring my ways of saying I love you. For me it is appreciating the little details about the way someone is and sharing that appreciation with them.
That’s it Matts, it is not about the words as these can be short of what you actually feel inside, but it is about living that love instead and in that express with all of your body the love that you hold.
It’s so true Matts. Those three little words can be an enormous pressure. If they come naturally that’s great, but if there is an expectation and this is the reason they are said then they are not true words at all.
Matts your comment caused me to reflect on all the times we all say ‘I love you’ and it’s more like punctuation than anything else. ‘Love you’ ‘love you too’. Empty sacks of words.
I love it and thank you for sharing this.
This was a very powerful blog to read, it is quite an unusual response by the impositions we allow to be placed upon us, but acutally loving ourselves is just common sense, and expressing that love of self to a partner is beautiful. After all what partner would not love to be with someone who has genuine love for themselves, as this then permeates everything they do.
Super gorgeous blog Simone, loving someone is simple when we love ourselves.
True Benkt and Simone has confirmed her love for herself when confirming and appreciating her love for Joost.
Beautifully said, Benkt…I couldn’t agree more.
This is such a beautiful read and a reminder that any love we feel for another must be held for ourselves first. I can feel how living in this way can be felt by everyone and is not just a love felt by the 2 people in the relationship either, thus making it possible for everyone to grow as demonstrated by sharing these intimate moments. Thank you Simone and Joost.
Yes Mary, this blog definitely leaves you with a gorgeous feeling inside. Your love with your partner Simone, is so palpable, it feels very beautiful.
I had to re read that comment as I was so conditioned to ‘I love you too’ Imissed the reciprocation. It confirms the moment rather than looking to play tit for tat. Just awesome!
Beautifully said Simon – ‘It confirms the moment…’ The usual reciprocation is so automatic and expected that it is far from confirming.
Wow! This is so beautiful in many ways.
When someone says they love you it is easy to feel the need to respond “I love you too!” … What you share with Joost’s response shows me how he fully embraced what you expressed to him – he felt it too and acknowledged it in a way that expanded that love. One of thing I notice for me is when I say “I love you” I am feeling “I love me too” … It feels so full and joyfull.
I love me therefore I love you. Very sweet blog
It really is testimony to the power and solidity of loving ourselves in full and how true and full self-love enhances what we are able to offer another.
This blog is an exquisite testimony to the love you and Joost have for yourseves and share with others Simone. I am very inspired as I can see I would probably feel reaction if anyone returned my ‘I love you’ with an ‘ I love me too’ but the way you have explained what occurred between you shows that the only energy Joost conveyed to you was love. How could anyone resist that!
I agree. The way Simone has communicated their exchange perfectly conveys the feeling with which Joost made his declaration. We all need to get to the place where we can respond to an ‘I love you’ with an equally robust ‘I love me too’ – for ourselves and for the world.
What an exquisite response to someone saying “I love you”. I absolutely love the “I love me too”.
So do I.
It – along with Simone’s communication and expression here – captures everything we have learnt for ourselves about life and love from another totally self-loving man, Serge Benhayon. Just magnificent!
Thank you Simone and Joost, your love for yourselves and each other beams off the webpage and reaches my heart; reminding me to deepen the appreciation of and within the relationship that I have with my gorgeous partner. It is our responsibility to love ourselves so that we may live this love with others, to drop the judgement, self-critique and hardness or expectation is a process for many men and women however what you reflect to us shows not only how worth it it is, but how this serves to deepen and expand our love continuously and preciously so.
Absolutely, magical and exquisite! I loved every word that you wrote and that I read! As all I could feel was the power of self-love and how there is not an ounce of selfishness within it when it is truly about loving ourselves and from there, equally another. The love of our lives begins with us.
A divinely gorgeous sharing Simone that oozes the simplicity of a fully lived life. Thank you for publishing this for all to read.
Simone, this is just beautiful. It’s so beautiful I can’t even comment…
Simone I found this blog deeply touching and so true that “by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.” When a man or woman has built a loving relationship with themselves they can be in a relationship without needing the other to love them but because they appreciate themselves they will also appreciate the other which can only expand the love.
And doesn’t that take the pressure off things, the not needing the other to love us? This is truly love without conditions – no expectations, ideals or beliefs.
I loved reading this Simone, and the fact that you had no need in you to hear the words ‘I love you’ back is deeply inspiring.
Yes it is sad to say that most of us are conditioned to wanting to hear those words back, when in truth real love is unconditional with no need what so ever. Expectation and need are totally opposite sides of the spectrum.
From those four words “I love me too” unfolds the wonderful understanding in your blog Simone…that by the depth of the love your partner has for himself, he equally loves you in that same way. And what is clear is that the love in him, the love of himself, would be there for others too because it is a love of self, and not something directed to any other one person.
‘I love you’ is actually a highly loaded phrase. The words themselves often carry with them the beliefs and needs of the people who say and receive them. However, these words themselves, are actually not the gold – it is the quality in which they are delivered that conveys the love. This same quality can be shared in other ways, through a gaze, a touch or a loving gesture, however. If you pick up something that another person has dropped so that they don’t need to and place it gently and with absolute regard for the preciousness of the person you are giving the item too, does this not equally say ‘I love you?’ As can a smile an eye gaze or a brief touch on the arm. All these things we can infuse with equal, if not greater, meaning than the words “I love you.’
Its true, a gesture of love is way more power-full, than saying I love you without the attention for detail and true love.
Simone what you share is gorgeous, for a man to be able to express in this way, no holding back and saying what he feels, willing to claim the love for himself without feeling the need to justify is a joy to read.
Such a magic and beautiful moment! I can feel how much love you put in every word of this blog. “…I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.”
When I truly feel the love to myself I feel the love for everyone. It’s not true that loving ourselves is something arrogant or selfish. It’s something natural because being in love is our natural state.
“someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.” This is so true and Serge Benhayon and your partner are beautiful examples of this. Loving ourselves before focusing on another allows us to love another without effort or draining. This really highlights that committing to life and people requires us to commit to ourselves first and foremost, Thank you Simone.
Can we please have a movie about your relationship so we finally have a movie that is true on what love is….
Love it Mariette. I haven’t seen a movie out there that equals this.
Great Idea Mariette – it would be great to have a movie. Then they can show the world, what true love is.
“I love me too”……the truest answer you can give. In a world where love has so been bastardized, this blog shows what true love and relationships are about. So refreshing.
Thank you, Simone, this feels like such a celebration of true love shared, where there are no ideals and beliefs but just a ever deepening appreciation and surrender to the beauty inside and within each other.
Simone, this is such a gorgeous blog, we hold so many expectations and beliefs with the words ‘I love you’. We invest in hearing it in return when we say it and often miss another’s expression of love by focusing on hearing I love you when there are so many other ways to express love.
Such a beautiful sharing, thankyou Simone. “The words “I love you” literally burst out of my mouth! He looked back deeply into my eyes and said, “I love me too.” Beautiful – a testament to both of you and your love.
Gorgeous Simone – appreciation of others is only possible when we appreciate ourselves, who we are and what we can bring… Thus ‘I love you’ is only true if ‘I love me’ first!
This feels like the most intimate of relationships Simone. The joy of being able to connect with another in this way is, I feel, what is missing from so many relationships. Relationships that are bound by needs, ideals and beliefs. and ‘needing’ to hear those words “I love you” for reassurance. Recognising this need in myself for the first 38 years of my married life. As we deepen our love for ourselves and as this is lived and embraced our relationships with others can only grow stronger bring about a very different union – a union that equals the love we have inside holding us in a light that can be recognised by another. A beautiful reflection. Sitting here in deep appreciation of what you have shared with us all Simone – thank you.
I love this Simone. Joost’s love for himself enables him to share it 100% with you and not hold back. What more could some one ask for? simply gorgeous.
Simone what a gorgeous and inspiring writing. The depth of appreciation and love that you have for each other is tangible and exquisite to feel.
There is such a power in appreciation, it touched me that you felt the most intense appreciation for having chosen to spend your life with your partner and from there could feel how gorgeous he is and expressed how much you love him.
It really has inspired me to feel into my relationship with my loved ones how much I can appreciate that they are in my life and not take anything and anyone for granted. There is so much to appreciate when we are open to receive the love that is always there.
“someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.” this is so true – it also exposing the MASSIVE lie we all have created and live in what love truly is. We have knowingly based love on an emptiness, seeking someone else to fill our needs, because we have not been willing to love ourselves with the divine tenderness, grace and care that we come form. Every relationship in this world, from partners to parents, to work colleagues, and the world itself for that matter, would be very different place. There would no pandering, as love can be super firm and straight talking too, and much more joy, simplicity and harmony.
Beautifully executed Gyl – we have been sold and bought the wrong story of love. It’s breaking news when we hear and realise the fact that it is something we already have within… Call off the search party!! Love has been found and it’s been there all along!
I agree Anna, the photo is saying it all, a deep love they share with everyone.
“The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me. It didn’t need me to be anything. It was not conditional because it had nothing to do with me.” this is the greatest freedom we can feel, there is nothing worse that feeling need.
It is true love and also true freedom that we offer to the loved one.
Yes Gyl I agree it is a greatest freedom if the love my partner shared is asking nothing of me . . . that is heaven on earth.
Thank you Simone for sharing this with us, your very exquisite blog. So gorgeous to feel your tenderness, love and appreciation for each other. It is so true when we truly love ourselves first we are able to express our love to our partner’s, friends and family without any expectations or conditions because our expression comes from our fullness, never ever needy or suffocating but open, gentle and evolving.
Simone I so love what you have shared and i agree how deeply beautiful that you have a man who responded this way. The love that he feels for himself is what is radiating out to you, the love he feels and clearly lives. This is something to so celebrate and feel very blessed that you have written this blog so we all get to hear and know that this is indeed what ‘normal’ should look and feel in a relationship. One of deep respect, love for yourselves first, so that you each then reflect that love to each other, exquisite.
Thank you for sharing this, Simone – it is beautifully exquisite. “…. someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.” This is so profound and so true.
Thank you Simone and its so true. How often have we said “I love you” to someone in the expectation that they will say “I love you” back to make us feel okay, to make us feel a love that we are not willing to feel for ourselves. There is nothing more glorious than a person deeply connecting to and expressing their love, just as equally for themselves as another. We then have the immense privilege to feel the fountain of love that flows from them that includes them just as much as it includes us and everyone else, a true solid expression of tenderness, appreciation and respect that knows no limits.
Simone, this is really gorgeous to read, I can feel how important it is that we love ourselves first and that then we are able to truly love others. I can feel how saying i love you used to be a very mental thing for me, i wanted to love this person, but i did not love myself and so I found it very hard to express to someone that I loved them or even to express confidently things that I loved about them, interestingly since I have started to love myself and take care of myself I now find it much easier to express lovingly, and when I do express something loving to another it feels very true and beautiful to say and i feel confident in what I am expressing.
“The love that he was sharing asked nothing of me.” this is beautiful and the most precious of gifts. No imposing, no emotion, just a beautiful holding of oneself which allows another to be their all too.
That is a wonderful definition of true love – “The love asked nothing of me”, I love it.
Yes its such a far cry for the usual anxiety that people feel as to who’s going to say ‘I love you’ first and if they do will the other person say it back or will there be an awkward silence!
Absolutely Jenny a beautiful and powerful reflection of what true Love is.
I love you: I am love when I am with you.
And I am love when I am with me.
Me too Victoria, we are all love 🙂
I love you Christoph, we are both love.
Thank you Simone for sharing your magic moment of expressing true love and bringing more love to the world.
“But now I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.” This is a revolutionary and an evolutionary concept that will transform all of our relationships, starting first with our relationship with ourself, and then, in the effects it has on and with everyone – true Love and true Harmony. Thank you for living this and then, in grace, sharing this with us all, Simone.
“But now I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.” If a person didn’t love themselves first then where would the love that they think they’re giving to another come from? Love isn’t something that you can buy from Wooly’s it’s something that through our alignment comes through us and then can be felt by those in our lives and also by those who are not directly in our lives. We’re a portal for love and we have no say in who gets sprayed by that love, it’s not like individual cakes of soap that you give to specific people.
This reminds me of something I experienced this week. I have been building self-love and self-care within my life for a few years, I can feel a inner connection that is a foundation and supports me. This foundation feels like it is built of Love, stillness and connection, a knowing of myself with and from God. I have been feeling it deeply and yet I had not given myself complete permission to Love myself as deeply as I feel Love. I choose to have a go at holding myself more in the Love, I naturally feel and it felt amazing. I was saying a Bigger Yes and my foundation expanded. To hear another person express how they truly Love themselves, to another is wonderful. It is a blessing that we Love ourselves first, from here Love can be expressed in a lived quality.
How often I seek to love others, forgetting to start with me, and then naturally everyone gets the love in everything I express.
Yes Simon, love always comes from within. When I’m not connected to this it can be a struggle to recognise and accept the love from others.
So often we can look for love outside of ourselves, and with this comes a need to have someone else’s acknowledgement. When we allow ourselves to learn to Love and cherish ourselves we live that Love and so it is naturally reflected to those around us. It is lovely to read of a man claiming that Love and sharing it with you so tenderly, and your appreciation of it.
Thank you Simone, this inspires me to love myself more deeply as it is the love I hold myself in that will be felt by everyone around me. Looking at it like that it is selfish to not love ourselves instead of the other way around as it is often seen.
Selfish indeed Lieke. Holding back love for ourselves and thinking we can then share our love with others is an absolute illusion as what we hold back for ourselves is held back for everyone else too
Beautiful sharing and a great confirmation that unless there is true love for oneself, there can’t be true love for another just some sort of watered down version.
Yes Kevin, this “‘watered down version” is a form of attachment and definitely not love. It gets “watered down” by emotion when we want love from another rather than being the love we are and reflecting that to the other.
Very lovely indeed Simone. For me it highlights that there was no need from you when you said ‘I love you’. So often when these words are spoken it can come with an expectation that the person speaking them also wants the confirmation back. But as you said, the love that your gorgeous man feels for himself is equally there for you. There’s not an ounce of emotional love anywhere to be found.
This is a super contrast to the emotional love that we can see from day to day, within relationships, throughout the media and socially in our society. What an inspirational couple who drops the emotional neediness and expectation in relationship to be nothing more than ‘to just be’ themselves and give permission to the relationship to unfold and evolve wherever it will go.
I agree that there is so often these expectation that the person who said I love you wants the confirmation back – that it really no love, to me that it a manipulation because the other one seems to need to hear this words . Therefore I love it that Simone’s partner loves himself so deeply – so no manipulation or game is needed.
I love the image here also. The love is both seen and felt, absolutely exquisite.
Samsies Anna. Its got gorgeous love written all over it. I love their faces and how they are with each other
The love and deep preciousness that can be felt and seen so clearly in this image is an inspiration to all of mankind. The tenderness of these beauties and the magnification of this beauty as they come together in life and body is exquisite beyond measure and words. What is felt is a true and deep care of themselves and hence each other, this is what true love and companionship is all about, emanating the quality of oneself and complimenting this quality with another’s; what could possibly be more fulfilling and adorable in a relationship of any kind.
Thank you Simone, your blog is a great reminder for me to forever deepen my love for myself as a foundation for my life and every relationship I have. I can feel the joy in loving myself as much as I can, leaving the criticism, the judgment etc behind and allowing myself to simply be me, a gorgeous, sweet, bright and very loving being. What’s not to love!
Beautiful appreciation and confirmation of yourself, Katinka, all of which you are 🙂
This is a living example of love thy neighbor as thyself.
Brilliant way to look at it Felix
I love that Felix, love truly is a game changer.
Yes, and not the other way around as in love thyself as thy neighbour – the foundation is the love we have for ourselves and that is what we then imbue our relationships with.
Our neighbour is ourself, there’s only one of us.
Ooh well said Alexis, there is only One of us. One glorious mass of God, Him who is every-thing and one day we will all remember that and want to do nothing other than to re-unite with all aspects of ourselves everywhere. Working as the whole for the whole, what else could any of us possibly want to do?
Yes Felix.
Perfect Felix. It’s beautiful to feel the truth behind these ancient teachings and discover their relevance for the modern world. Truth is truth no matter in which age it is presented. It stands the test of time.
That is ‘love’ right there! I was reading and assumed he would have said ‘I love you’ back and then kapoow ‘love bomb’! Loved it, this completely leaves us with no need from another to say they love us, but as you say by them loving themselves you are held in that love also. Wow… this also exposes why there is tension in relationships, its not that a partner is not saying I love you or showing it towards you, its because we can innately feel that they have little love for themselves therefor there is little love they have for others. Thank you Simone!
“its not that a partner is not saying I love you or showing it towards you, its because we can innately feel that they have little love for themselves therefor there is little love they have for others.” – bingo Aimee, well spotted. and I was expecting the same thing (I love you too) also ! hahaha It was super cute to read what actually happened.
I know, a game changer Emily!
So true Doug, playing the ‘overriding’ game from our own emptiness does not support or offer any one a reflection of love. This is what many marriages and relationships are playing, and showing the younger generation. Awesome to feel what Simone and Joost are reflecting to their family and all those around them.
So true Doug. Our need to hear those three little words overrides the feeling behind them. We don’t discern if love is really behind them or it they are an empty expression.
l also feel to say…it can be unusual when our beloved expresses their love for themselves but it does make perfect sense.
It’s so beautiful to see and feel someone love and adore themselves, and it radiates through a whole home and beyond.
Expressing our own awesomeness is equally acceptable!
What a gorgeous blog Simone. lt feels like a gorgeous relationship you have with Joost. l agree, there are so many creative ways to say ‘l love you’. The more ways we express, the deeper the loving feeling.
The love in me is the love in you, and that is all we have to ‘do’.
There is a great children’s song in this Liane,
‘The love in me is the love in you, and that is all we have to ‘do’.
Agreed Kathleen what a great song Liane’s line would make, “The love in me is the love in you, and that is all we have to do”.
It is Kathleen! It’s a line from a song I made up to sing with my children. Well spotted 🙂
How beautifully confirming for your children Liane!
Ahaha Liane that is really a good line for a true love song.
One collective love, aka God.
What a gorgeous, truly beautiful sharing. Thank you, Simone. We are so blessed to be re-introduced to the true nature and the meaning of love, thanks to Serge Benhayon.
When we put aside this idea of being liked and forget the unrelenting need to ‘be something’, it is the most natural thing in the world to agree, when someone says ‘hey you’re amazing’. It’s beautifully confirming to say ‘what you see and feel is true, I am the real deal, no hold barred, no reservation, I am Love and so are you’. You can feel in your words Simone the absolute strength and deep knowing this brings to your connection.
What a great summary of what this article brings, an amazing realness and solidness of lived love.
Love is love, it is owned by no one but expressed by all who allows themselves to receive its warmth and live it. Thankyou Simone and Joost for being a living example of what this Heavenly love looks like here on Earth; strong, solid, playful and true. Together we are matches made in Heaven, designed specifically to re-ignite the flame of love that lives deep within our every heart.
Awesome Liane. ‘love is love’ and ‘heavenly love’ what a beautiful expression. What you and Simone share feels so different to ‘ I love you’ reciprocated with ‘ I love you too’. Empty words as opposed to the depth of feeling and love expressed between Simone and her partner.
Exactly, and this is why Jost’s response to Simone telling him she loves him is so significant. When Simone told her partner she loved him, she was showing him not only the love that lives within her heart but the equal love within his. This is the purpose of relationships to constantly reflect to each other that they are divine.
“Love is love, it is owned by no one”, so therefore can we in truth ‘give’ love? We can be that love and reflect it to another and express it so they can feel the love within themselves if they are open to receiving the reflection.
A living example of what a relationship can be. Deeply inspiring.
I love this too: “Love is love, it is owned by no one but expressed by all who allows themselves to receive its warmth and live it.” No more need be said,
And the angels rejoice, and do a groovy dance. Thank you Liane! Heavenly is our way.
A gorgeous sharing Simone. The two of you are an awesome reflection for true love. It is only when we truly love ourselves first are foremost is it possible to love another. And it is with this firm foundation of love for ourselves does it form a relationship that is built on true love rather than a need.
Hi Simone, this is so gorgeous to read. The love, appreciation and honouring of your relationship with yourselves and for each other and how that has expanded into the quality of your relationships with everyone is truly inspiring. It’s natural as we connect to the love we are within ourself and appreciate that, then we will begin to appreciate the love in everyone else and our relationships will become more honest and open.
What a gorgeous blog Simone, which really shares the importance and the foundation that true self-love and appreciation provides within any relationship. Thank you.
I find this appreciation and care of self one that can sometimes challenge others beliefs and ideals that we should put ourselves last. But once felt, the magnitude and effect of self care on others can be significant. Great blog Simone, one that really is a game changer in all relationships – all starting with the relationship with oneself.
To hear about your relationship is so gorgeous and inspiring, I can feel the joy as I read ?
Me too, just a deep loving sharing felt by all that read and connect to the truth delivered.
Beautiful.
‘From the depths of the love that he has for himself, I was also able to feel that by caring and loving himself so deeply, he was equally loving me in that same way.’ Simone these words remind me how important it is that we all fully love and nurture ourselves so that we may then express that love to others. I have been in relationships without loving myself deeply and found myself unconsciously being ‘mothering’ rather than loving from the depths of my amazing womanly self. It is counter to what I was taught and modelled when I was young (many decades ago!) but from my experience I can only share love and joy and understanding fully when that is what I am living.
A really key difference here Anne, thanks for bringing it up. When we love from ourselves first it is irresistible. When we try from a belief or learned way then all too often it is imposing
Thank You Anne I can relate to what you have shared. As a woman the ideals and beliefs tell us to take care of others first, and that self love is selfish, but by taking care of ourselves and living in a loving and joyful way making ourselves a priority, we then have an amazing love to share with others. Before that self love, it can just be “doing” for others.
That’s a great point Anne, and I’ve fell into similar behaviours in the past too – being ‘motherly’ in some friendships due to the lack of love I had for myself and the ‘need’ I had to protect another, which in my mind was caring for them. I now know that throwing your own body in front of a bus for other people is not sustainable or supportive in any way.
Great points you make here Anne, and it highlights how we can confuse love with ‘doing’ for others, looking after them, trying to prevent them from getting hurt etc. The words ‘walk your talk’ come to mind and I’m realising that if you truly want to be loving, it has to be something you live first.
For me too Anne, switching into mothering by the very absence of deeply loving myself, occurred almost as if by default, diminishing any openings otherwise available for an ever deepening foundation of love, that holds all equally.
Nothing can be truly shared if it’s not lived, no-thing, because it’s only by living something first that brings whatever it is to life and if it’s not known by living it then it can’t be truly expressed because whatever it is will come from the dormant chambers of the brain, dusty old remnants that were never truly felt.
Simone, I love your sharing. I know the true love that was expressed in Joost’s words. Choosing to love self has so been shunned in our world, and unfortunately, because of this, our world has missed out on a love that is so deep, holding and true for a long time. Now though feeling how the love I have for myself is not ever for myself alone, once activated it is naturally there for all, I know that I never felt love for another with this depth, until I felt it for myself. As it is from whence love comes.
And haven’t we missed out on so much by carrying the belief that to put ourselves first is to be selfish, when in fact it is the most naturally loving thing we can do, for ourselves and for others.
Yes so true Ingrid, old teachings delivered and passed on from generations before; quite sad really that it took us so long to realise the true truth that the more we love ourselves and care for ourselves the more we can be of true loving service to another,
How very healing this is Ingrid. It is so true what you’ve shared; we have indeed missed out on so much for so long through our choice to be swayed by this false belief. Absolute evil at play.
Very true Leigh. It is impossible to feel something for another of this depth when we do not allow ourselves to go there.
Exactly so, everything seems to just flitter across the surface, never truly touching the depth within,
What a gorgeous blog Simone that shows so simply that love begins with loving self first.
Awesome Jade, your comment reminds me how I had it the other way around a few years ago. I was searching for it high and low looking for it in different people but now I know that ‘love begins with loving self first’ this is so freeing and expansive.
Yes Jade, the depth of love Simone and Joost share is because of the love they each have for themselves first…and then together. This should be in relationship counselling 101 courses and sessions.
Bingo Jade -more is not needed to say!
‘I love you’, how many times have I allowed myself to feel this or even have someone say this to me? However, the first question is ‘How much do I love me?’? By understanding this most basic question I have come to realize that it is the depth of love I have for myself that is the one and only standard that I could choose. It is the depth of love I hold with me that is the reflection I put out and also the one reflected back to me. This is the magnificence of love an ever developing and expanding eternal oneness.
Sometimes when these words are expressed to us we feel an obligation to say them back so I love how Joost responded here as he felt to.
It is lovely to receive these words expressed by another in a moment of truth, and to not have to reciprocate anything, but to simply respond as we feel. It is also lovely to express these words when we feel to, a gift to another.
Yes so true and very important to remember that to just say the words back as a response may not hold the depth of love we can truly feel and express.
For me the question is how often do I
Compromise myself trying to fulfill the perceived needs of another. When all I really need to do is be myself.
What a slogan that would make Simon. “All I really need to do is be myself”. In a world where we are always striving to be something, told to push harder this line literally could save the world.
“This is the magnificence of love an ever developing and expanding eternal oneness.” Thank you Susan, this is aptly expressed.
Simone the love and appreciation with which you have written about your partner brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing this joy and wisdom.
What a blessing we get to experience their love and appreciation for each other reminding us that love is within us too.
And what a powerful reminder it is delivered so beautifully in the love that emanates throughout the whole sharing.
“But now I appreciate that someone loving themselves first and then sharing their love is so much more powerful, solid, energising and more real than anyone loving me without loving themselves first.” I can feel the depth in which you share this with us and how true it is. And how much you write this without any sense of vanity.
That is a very powerful line. When we love ourselves the next step is to know that we are love. The love that we are is then for all and comes from a fullness of who we are.
Agreed Nikki, when we deeply love ourselves we know we are love and from love, and all others (even if they are choosing the opposite of love), are also love. We are held in love, no matter how far we stray from it, we can always return to love because we are made of love.
Nikki what you have shared is very true and calls me to consider my relationship with my son, as I am aware that it contains neediness and expectations, both of which make anyone recoil.
And this feels wonderfully natural, Nikki. When we truly know that we are love, and live in this way, it is impossible to keep it to oneself. Without need or imposition, just by being the fullness of who we are.
Wow…tears flowed down my cheeks reading this today. How profoundly beautiful. Thank you for taking the time to pen this experience and to share your love for yourself, your love of your partner and his love of himself with us all. It was deeply healing to read this today, thank you.
Very true Sarah, reading this blog is very healing.
I love what you say Simone about no longer needing to hear the words coming back to you because you know that if your partner loves himself so dearly that he can’t help but love you equally. That need to have those 3 words directed straight at you is gone because you are confirmed by your love of yourself when he is loving himself. A completely different approach to love in relationships!
And so empowering too Elodie. Love is love and when there is a shared understanding of this, the true power of love is known.
Yes and very liberating too.
This blog by Simone inspires on all fronts because it is showing us what a loving relationship can be – two people standing strong in the love they have for themselves that they bring together – not a tangle of intertwining needs that can never be met.
What a beautiful blog Simone, Thank you so much for sharing your relatioship with us all. The quality of love between you is deeply felt and being in a new relationship myself, I feel inspired by what you have shared, to deepen my own love for me, and share this even more with my partner.
Simone has inspired me like you Anna, to forever deepen my love for me and share this with those around me. Feeling the love in which a person holds him or herself in is very inspiring and supporting. I cannot but relax and smile when I feel it.
I can only concur Katinka and Anna; to forever deepen our love for ourselves and sharing this by just being the love that I feel and hold for myself is a game changer, as once connected to and lived more and more, it can’t but emanate to all around.
It is such a beautiful process, because the more we love ourselves, the more we innately know how to love another. It is a win win situation that allows us to open up like flowers and share our beauty with everyone we meet.
Yes Rowena, the more we allow ouselves to love ourselves, the more we can know how to love each other.
Simone has shown us by example how important the love we have for ourselves in a relationship is and that removing neediness allows for so much more.
Short and sharp and to the point Nikki – “removing neediness allows for so much more” – absolutely and incredibly powerfully so.
Beautifully put Nikki, by loving ourselves we allow spaciousness in relationship, by removing the needs, expectations and demands we place on another, which create the opposite of spaciousness and unconditional love. When there is neediness in a relationship, we narrow it down to its lowest from of what is possible, not allowing the ever expanding expression of love that is there to burst out and express.
Doesn’t it, and it makes sense because it feels so lovely to be in the presence of someone who you feel is deeply loving.
They know what love is. Having developed it in themselves they know how to be that with you.
‘To know that we can go deeper in a relationship purely by deepening our own self love and then to share that knocks out the “normal” approach to relationships’. Yes it does Michelle. And potentially removes all the angst and drama of relating because our primary concern is ourselves, and not what the partner is or is not doing for us.
So true Kehinde, and well put with “… potentially removes all the angst and drama of relating because our primary concern is ourselves, and not what the partner is or is not doing for us.”
Agree Michelle, and just in the way someone behaves, you can feel that love and know that they deeply care for you as a result of the way they care for themselves. ‘I love you,’ does not need to be said. It is inspiring and as you share, turns on its head what we are familiar with in ‘normal’ relationships.
I agree, and I am also inspired. Like you say, Anna, the more we deepen the love for ouselves, the more we have to share with another. It so makes sense.
Thank you for the reminder that there are many ways love is expressed and for sharing how deep love is when you love yourself first and foremost.
I agree Suzanne, what Simone has share simply shows how powerful it is to love ourselves first and then share this love. I’m inspired, and I felt a deeper love for myself reading this.
Anna I feel inspired too! It makes sense that the love we express is the sum total of the love that we have for ourselves. In my body I have felt caged with a lack of self love and a restrictive tightness, but the more I open up to love and value myself I can feel a whole openness and expansiveness develop in my body. There is a greater flow then to express out to others.
Same here Rachel, and your words so beautifully demonstrated by Simone in her blog, the love that emanates out to all readers simply because she has embraced this in herself.
Me too Anna, and I can feel the pull to go even deeper with that love. Wow even writing those words I could feel the change in how my fingers were on the keyboard. They became more tender and more light. Miracles happen every moment when we commit to loving ourselves.
Yes, it’s such a revelation to feel, wow I can love myself – I don’t need to wait on meeting someone to do this for me. And it feels amazing, something to share with everyone we meet.
How can we truly love another when we have not allowed ourselves to,love ourselves?
That is such a big truth, and more and more people are now open to understand and explore that; to me it makes total sense. If I’m down on myself,it doesn’t matter if somebody else says something loving about me – I would not be able to accept it. It’s up to us each individually to cherish and love ourselves and to truly and deeply take loving care of our being and our bodies, before we can truly love another, and let love in from another.
Yes Esther, it is a never-ending commitment to love ourselves in the detail we know what love is because, as we do, we realise there is more love to live to be able to hold ourselves in a world that is designed to be loveless.
Yes Esther, and in learning this there can be a massive fluctuation day to day with how we feel about ourselves (often dictated by how we perceive others see us). With that consistent building of love and cherishing care for ourselves this wanes and steadiness takes its place.
I love this blog, it is exquisite Simone. It ignites.
Very true, Fiona, if we have not allowed ourselves to love ourselves, then do we even know what love truly is? By connecting with and learning to love ourselves, then we learn what true love is. This is what we can then take out to others.
True Beverley, we only know love through what we know love to be in our body.
Simple words expressed powerfully Fiona.
You have captured the essence of what is being offered here Suzanne – what the heart seeks is available from within and emanates outward in so many beautiful ways. Thanks Simone for this beautiful article.
Gorgeously expressed Suzanne, and indeed it is a beautiful reminder for us all to love self first.
It always comes back to that doesn’t it – you love yourself first and foremost. How else can we ever love another truly …
The expression of love can come in many forms and sometimes a look or a simple gesture says so much more about what is felt that any words ever can.
Now that is a show stopper!! How amazing to experience that and what a reflection that is then for you Simone!
Simone this is such a beautiful article thank you… I was particularly taken by your line ‘It was the love inside of him, and lucky me, I get to share and feel this love with him every day.’ This is such a beautiful expression of appreciation for your partner without an ounce of neediness in you to have him reciprocate, or tell you something about you. To understand what love is from this is quite profound actually, and liberating as you’ve shared. You are not asked to be anything for him to ‘earn that love’, it is there by virtue of him holding it for himself. THAT is revelation really!
I so agree Jenny, so beautiful to read and so true, there isn’t an ounce of neediness in sight, which is a true marker for what relationships can be about and reflect.
Yes Jenny and Raegan, it is so beautiful because there is such a deep level of acceptance for each other shown here, just as they are, and no neediness. And all this stems from their strong foundation of self-love and self-appreciation first. Coming together with that foundation is true love expressed, and how awesome we get to all share that. Serge Benhayon has brought the true meaning of Love back to us, and the proof this is how it truly works is right here to read and feel.
Yes, until I met Serge Benhayon I’d settled for all the false versions of love I saw in the world. He presents what true love is so we can reconnect to who we are and express this love which simply loves without an ounce of need.
Yes Raegan, no neediness in sight. Just a love for themselves and for each other. So refreshingly light but so deep at the same time.
If only this was the story we were told when we put to bed at night as children. No one being rescued, no one needing to be rescued. We are our own saviours, and what a love it is when we come to each other already saved.
I love your comment Sarah. I used to think being in love had to be heavy, emotional stuff to mean anything. Yikes! Now I can feel to be deeply loving is both light and simple -refreshingly so as you say too.
And because there’s no neediness in a relationship then we know it’s true – we know that the other is choosing to be with us whole heartedly for who we are.
Yes I fully agree too, and neediness in relationship is such a killer in the end. What a beautiful sharing to present such a true marker of Simone & Joost’s loving togetherness.
Indeed when neediness is out of the way, love can flow freely back and forth between two people.
I love that line and it stood out for me also Jenny. Super beautiful to read and a true appreciation of the man that is choosing to live.
I was also touched by how Simone doesn’t feel she has to do anything to deserve or earn love. We all know deep down we are amazing just for being who we are. How gorgeous to be held in that. This is where the power of women comes alive, not in what they do but their being-ness.
Fiona I love your comment and observation, and to go into a relationship knowing who we are and that as you say “We all know deep down we are amazing just for being who we are”.
Me too Fiona, really touched at how much our power can be expressed, just through appreciation of someone of themselves and without any need to be recognised.
Yes Fiona, this is key here. To not have to feel you have to do anything to prove who you are to ‘earn love’ other than simply be yourself is enormously self empowering for women. And when women start to claim this for themselves it allows men to be more too. It is a win win situation all round.
Well observed Jenny, it is a lovely line. I agree we can feel appreciation of a partner without neediness and wanting something back. Beautiful to have this expressed in the way that you did.
I agree Jenny, this is revelation as you have so clearly stated. Connecting to the fact one can only hold themselves in love in order to share love with another is a complete game changer.
I loved this line too Jenny and Simone. It is full of appreciation and true knowing what love is really about.
Jenny, I second all that you have said.
And all can feel this when presented with this gorgeousness, just awesome.
Yep I agree Jenny really Amazing and inspiring in just how much love we can be.
The relationship between Simone and Joost is a fantastic example of a ‘true’ loving relationship, with no neediness of each other between them of any kind. This is the way that all relationships should be, with us not needing the partner to be giving us what we yearning for. When we begin our first relationship it first needs to be with ourselves, learning to truly love ourselves, then we no longer need or expect the other to provide us with that love, and we can each come to loving each other with no expectations or neediness causing complications. This is unconditional love. As you say, Jenny, what Simone has shared here is a revelation.
Yes Jenny, love is holding yourself in power and not holding back anything to reduce what it actual is.
Touched deeply by the love cherished from you both and between you both. Thank you Simone and Joost for sharing the love you are living.
Yes Marcia, Simone and Joost this is an inspiration!
Yes, this is just gorgeous to read and feel. Thank you so much for sharing.
Simone, what you are sharing is an absolutely divine expression of love and I can feel what you are sharing very deeply. Thank you
Yes, Simone and Joost are beautiful!
Indeed, all said, just gorgeous.
Absolutely. I just love this part ‘The words “I love you” literally burst out of my mouth! He looked back deeply into my eyes and said, “I love me too.” ‘ Its so gorgeous to hear a man claiming the love and care he has for himself. Such tenderness. And strength.
Thank you Simone for sharing this beautiful moment, and your beautiful man with us. I could feel the exquisite level of love between the two of you but behind it I could feel the commitment you have both made to your relationship, the foundation for your life. Reading this brought me to tears, but tears of joy, feeling that this is how a “normal” relationship can be, with commitment, openness, no judgement, constant honesty and a deep level of self love.
This is what touched me too Ingrid, was how normal this way of being in a relationship felt.
The feeling in the photograph alone speaks volumes.
So true, we can feel the deep and loving connection captured, a true sharing,
Agreed Alexis!!
What you see is allowing love and expressing it- the joy in it and the honouring of each other- and this is the most important- living the purpose of not living it only for oneself.
Yes, Ingrid, these two beautiful people have made a true commitment to their relationship, in every way possible. They are sharing openly, with no judgment and each of them also have a very deep level of self love. These are key to a successful true relationship, and this couple are great role models of how a true relationship can be.
I agree Ingrid – both are such role models for all other couples. The deep love they share is divine. That is a foundation to build a relationship on.
I agree. It is so gorgeous to hear more of these stories and to be reflected that this is actually normal for a relationship instead of the disunity and sides function that is so common between couples in society today.
I agree Ingrid, it is beautiful to feel the potential of relationships, ‘feeling that this is how a “normal” relationship can be, with commitment, openness, no judgement, constant honesty and a deep level of self love.’
Echo that Ingrid. Exactly that.
Yes Ingird, I too could feel this love as I read Simones blog. What a truly beautiful example of how a truly loving realtionship can be, and what a joy to see and feel the appreciation of both partners for themselves and each other. Deeply inspring Simone, thank you for sharing this intimate moment with us all.