What is it about food that keeps us coming back, already full, feeling content and satisfied and yet, in creeps that little voice saying, “You need to eat, you are hungry.” Why is it that we cannot avoid, ignore, stop, slow down or simply satisfy that little voice that keeps telling us we are hungry and still feel the need to eat, no matter how uncomfortable, full, heavy, tired or lethargic that last unnecessary mouthful may make us feel?
Don’t get me wrong… I am not saying we do not need to eat. I am simply suggesting that possibly we eat more than what we actually need, and that there could be an underlying reason why we eat as much as often as we do.
Perhaps there are issues, feelings, emotions that we feel, observe or see around and within us that we simply do not want to feel. Or could it be that we feel so amazing that we cannot handle just how awesome we are, so we instead opt to take the edge off, dulling ourselves just enough that we no longer feel that which we are possibly trying to avoid?
Food for me has been used in many ways: yes the obvious, we need to eat to survive, but I know for absolute certainty that I eat much more than I actually need. More often than not, it is at times where I am avoiding wanting to feel something that is going on around me – a situation, confrontation or emotion that I just do not want to deal with – so a snack is a great way to take my mind off it. Or that life is going so incredibly well, I am feeling so amazing, that rather than allow myself to truly appreciate and observe this, I dive into some roasted almonds, make some nut butter or decide to do some baking so I can lick the bowl. Better yet, cook a whole heap of food so it keeps me so busy that I totally forget what I am trying to avoid or ignore in the first place.
Again, don’t get me wrong, cooking is a lot of fun; I love it and I love to cook and share meals with others, but it can be something I choose to use as a distraction, rather than something that is done to support, nurture and nourish me.
Whatever the reason, you name it – food has it covered: it is so often our go to, all rounder, good-for-every-occasion best friend and companion. Not to mention conversation piece.
So why is food such a touchy subject? Why is it that everyone at one time or another uses food as a go to, a comforting agent? Yet to truly admit we have addictions with and towards food (well, there is your touchy subject!) is something we avoid looking at. I know I have in the past!
To really go there and look at the how, why and what we eat can be very exposing and bring up a lot, especially when we need to eat to survive. So how crazy is it to question our eating patterns, really? Though I’m beginning to ask, how crazy is it to not question them?
So, I am doing just that. I am questioning the ‘how,’ ‘why,’ ‘what’ and ‘when’ of eating. Yes, it is uncomfortable, and at times I really would rather not go there. Since really getting to the nitty gritty of it, boy oh boy, have those old eating habits wanted to march back in. As soon as I even attempt to avoid something or not appreciate anything, in comes the voice, a Jiminy Cricket you could say, chanting, “Go on, eat it!”
So the challenge begins when my body feels amazing, light, vital – and in comes the avoidance, the tension of, “Oh no! Life! I have to deal with all of this,” or “I cannot be this amazing,” – and the little voice says “Quick! Grab some food or better yet, even though you already cannot breathe after a huge meal, go back and have a second serve.”
It’s crazy that, even though we can be so uncomfortable that our body is screaming, “No more, you need to fast for a week after that outburst,” the tension is so great we often override it and lash out time and time again, each time saying, “Never again.”
Food and alcohol, – are they really any different, or is it that we see food as a necessity and therefore dare not question it? Could the drive behind how, why, and what we eat actually be coming from a thought, a mindset that is not actually our own?
Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are? I am understanding that it does not matter what anyone else thinks of us; it is what and how we feel about ourselves that matters most.
To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.
By Nicole Serafin, Age 45yrs, Tintenbar, NSW
Further Reading:
Food Choices – From Eating for Taste to Eating to Nourish
Self-Care and My Inbuilt Automatic Feedback Loop
Zombie Way of Life
Why is it when we feel exquisite, divine and yummy all at the same time we then want to sabotage the feeling? Why is it we sabotage these feelings, is it because we don’t think they will last or if we sabotage them ourselves then no one else can crush them because we have already done it. Or, that it’s not safe to have these amazing feelings about ourselves? I know someone who can sustain those feeling of absolute love for themselves and all others in the face of such adversity and like a moth to a flame, I am also drawn to the light that is the universe as I know instinctively that I am also that light but choosing to withhold it from my self and all others for fear of retribution.
“can be something I choose to use as a distraction, rather than something that is done to support, nurture and nourish me.” I can relate to this myself with using eating as a distraction away from what I am really feeling. It’s inspired me to use those moments to simply stop and feel, thank you.
Using food as a substitute for feeling the fullness of who we are can lead to a feeling that we are less and so crave to eat some more!
Appreciation of our essences is a key to keeping our spirit, who is that mindset that is not actually ours, so when we appreciate our essence it is simple to not indulge and thus bloat and the ensuing lethargy.
Years ago I used to feel this awful stabbing pain in my stomach in the morning and eating something was the way to stop it. I’ve realised over time that the stabbing pain isn’t actually hunger but something I am feeling about life I haven’t wanted to accept. It comes up rarely now but it has been amazing to explore the pain and not eat and get underneath it to what it’s actually trying to say to me.
I’m very aware right now that I would love to eat my way out of how I’m feeling but I am equally aware that I can’t, not because I don’t have access to food but because there is no food or quantity of food that will take away my discomfort. The only way to permanently address my discomfort is to transmute it and although at this stage I’m not totally sure how to go about doing this, I do know that the transmutation process is an internal one.
Lately because I have felt quite tired I have been using sugary foods to get me through the day nothing artificial but sugary all the same.
A more honest approach would be for me to stop the sugar, let myself feel how tired I am and actually rest!
I appreciate your honesty LE most of us are so caught up in the rush of doing, that we do gravitate towards sugar as a false pick me up. Rather than just saying I’m tried and need to rest.
When I feel a strong sense of purpose it’s easy to know what food feels true to eat when I dont have purpose my eating can go to pot.
I can use food to support me or I can use food to numb me, it is always my choice and always has it after effects – good or bad.
I agree Nicole, many of us definitely eat more than we really need, whether it is wanting a treat, something for comfort, an after dinner ‘something sweet’, the list goes on, ‘I am simply suggesting that possibly we eat more than what we actually need, and that there could be an underlying reason why we eat as much as often as we do.’
“To really go there and look at the how, why and what we eat can be very exposing and bring up a lot, ” I agree. It’s never just about the food but what do we feel and how are we moving before that desire for a little something enters?
Especially with stimulating food cooked with some form of sugar with a high or low GI, it feels like we want more and more. I took sugar as an exemple because I have a sweet tooth myself. The hard bit is to feel the consequences afterwards, feeling tired or fuzzy, not quite together.
I know that fuzzy feeling, the fatigue with underlying raciness too… it makes sense to question why it is what we do.
It seems that no matter how much we give into our cravings and the desire for more, we simply cannot numb out what it is that we do not want to feel.
Rachel I agree it’s like using alcohol to take the edge off the day or as a reward for getting through the day. we also use alcohol as a drug of choice to ‘drown our sorrows’ and yes alcohol does do that on a temporary basis but the next day we wake up feeling ghastly and the sorrow we were trying to drown is still there unresolved so using alcohol doesn’t work either.
To look at the world’s relationship with food and how we use it is pretty meek. The second we use food to fill a hole we are rejecting the fact that food can nourish our bodies.
I used to buy into the belief that the more that we eat of a food that is ‘good’ for us then the better it is. I used to pack as much fruit and veg into my day as possible thinking that I was consuming massive amounts of nutrients. The fact that I had an almost permanently distended belly seemed to escape me completely. The interesting thing is that I don’t eat much at all any more, my body simply doesn’t want that much to eat but when I go to have my regular blood tests my results indicate that I am very healthy and yet previously I would have been convinced that I wouldn’t have been getting enough nutrients.
I often over eat in the evenings because if I do that I will wake up with less clarity and awareness which I know I resist feeling.
‘Why is it that everyone at one time or another uses food as a go to, a comforting agent?’ This is universal and something, I think we can all relate to.
‘One time or another’ !!! I would say that most of us use food as a ‘go to or comforting agent’ constantly throughout the majority of our lives, it is how we have been taught and modelled to use food. We mark pretty much everything in our lives with overeating, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc and in between times we simply over eat out of pure habit.
Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are? Yes, there are days I feel super amazing and light, and then will eat something to dull this amazingness, mmm… what would happen if I didn’t eat to dull?
I can so relate to this too. It feels crazy to feel so amazing and then to calculate and dull myself with food in order to not be aware and feel awesome again. As western nations are overeating – hence the obesity crisis – are we not wanting to feel our magnificence and also to not feel deeply where the world is at?
I agree Nicole, many of us definitely eat more than we really need, whether it is wanting a treat, something for comfort, an after dinner ‘something sweet’, the list goes on, ‘I am simply suggesting that possibly we eat more than what we actually need, and that there could be an underlying reason why we eat as much as often as we do.’
It would be very interesting to see and feel what unfolded if you and more of us chose not to eat to dull, ‘Or could it be that we feel so amazing that we cannot handle just how awesome we are, so we instead opt to take the edge off, dulling ourselves just enough that we no longer feel that which we are possibly trying to avoid?’
Jacqueline what a great question to ask
“why do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are?”
Is it possible that there is an energy that is in control of our bodies, that will go to any lengths to stop us from feeling the amazingness we truly are. We ‘think’ we are in control but who is doing the ‘thinking’
I am feeling more and more how I eat to not feel the tension that I feel. What I appreciate is the more I am feeling this the more I am aware of what is going on and getting to the point I can no longer live this way #movingforward #evolution ✨
‘So the challenge begins when my body feels amazing, light, vital – and in comes the avoidance, the tension of, “Oh no! Life! I have to deal with all of this,” or “I cannot be this amazing,” – and the little voice says “Quick! Grab some food or better yet, even though you already cannot breathe after a huge meal, go back and have a second serve.’
I can relate to all of this, and it still happens, but the more I focus on being present in my body, the less that little voice from my head influences.
The more I appreciate myself and allow myself just to be me, the easier it becomes to choose food products that are lighter on my digestive system, heal and truly support and nourish my body, without perfection, as now and again I still like go have something that is naturally sweet.
What we think of ourselves is definitely what matters most because if your truly feel your essence anyone could say whatever they want negatively and it would just roll off you. This is an important step in living for love and truth when the world is full of lies.
Food is a very interesting barometer for how I am feeling, and it seems to have less impact than it did previously even if I am sabortaging the essence of me shines through which is pretty awesome.
Nicole, this really makes sense and it sure feels more true and nurturing to fill ourselves with love and acceptance rather than with food; ‘To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.’
Nicole, this is a great thing to do; ‘ I am questioning the ‘how,’ ‘why,’ ‘what’ and ‘when’ of eating.’ I really overate yesterday and I noticed that the more I overeat the more I want to continue to overeat and then I ate foods that were not at all supportive for my body and as a result I felt bloated and lethargic. So there is definitely something going on because my body does not need all of this food. Great to look at the why with all of this.
Food is NEVER the issue. Yes it is a reality but it is a million miles after a choice we have already made prior that builds up a momentum that guarantees the quality of vibration in our food that we then choose.
I agree Joshua that food itself is not the issue. Food is the same as anything that we use to distract, numb or bludgeon ourselves, it is the hammer if you want that we use to hit ourselves over the head with but what caused us to pick up the hammer in the first place happened way back down the track.
I keep getting the message that it’s my relationship with what I feel is what needs to be looked at rather than the food itself. An outplay that reflects what’s happening within me.
My husband used to say he knew something was wrong if I would cook all day. It is true that I used it as a distraction and comfort, rather than being okay with what was coming up to look at.
I can eat more than I need to at times and when I do it, I can not feel as much, I dull myself a bit…what is foods purpose…first and foremost nourishment. Honesty about how it feels in the body tells us what we need to know about how much and what to eat…no diet plan needed. My food continues to change and modify as I change and grow. No rules here but learning to be responsive.
Through attending presentations by Universal Medicine has supported me in having more awareness of old patterns around food – to numb out to not feel old hurts or accepting the truth of the amazing Universal beings we all are.
I was talking to someone today about how we both used to secret eat in our cars and hide the evidence. It goes to show how we can totally destroy our bodies but not want to come clean about it so we don’t have to take responsibility for the state of our bodies.
I know what you mean hm. Or perhaps we’re the ones who sneak down in the middle of the night to raid the fridge. Hilarious! An example of games we play at our own expense. In this way we deny the existence of our true and divine self, the forever present observer to whom there are no secrets.
We become what we eat, and the way that we eat. We now have a multimillion dollar industry around food and diet that does not truly serve anyone, when we can be super practical, use common sense and listen to what our body’s needs truly are, but, and more importantly we can ask why do we still consume the poisons the we call ‘food’ that we know pollutes our system? Where is the Love in that?
Personally, I always feel more vital on a smaller portion of food. It was no different than when I was a child as I never wanted to eat much but was criticised from extended members of my family for eating like a bird. It’s easy to see why we have this unhealthy relationship with food when people eat more than their body needs.
When we appreciate ourselves and appreciate the food we are blessed with it is hard to then abuse it. And, what we often lack in our society is appreciation and a willingness to listen to our body’s wisdom.
“Oh no! Life! I have to deal with all of this,” – I can very much relate to this sentence when the overwhelm sets in and I just want to distract myself with food instead of choosing to commit to what is being offered to me. I know I am more than equipped to deal with it so why choose food or in truth allow the energy to come that forces me go for food over love and acceptance of what is going on within myself?
I’m more clearly seeing the game that is played between me and food. The grander I feel inside the more I want to eat to dull – until such point where I make the grandness everything – and then the food has no place.
I’ve observed in myself, the moment I said no to cake, another more ‘healthy’ snack popped in to replace it. It is less about the food but the energy that feeds the urge to eat for comfort or to numb ourselves.
Interesting to observe the times when I don’t feel the urge to snack between meals is when I’m most connected with my body, my day is full and purposeful. Gaps in my day create openings when my energy can dip and I reach out for a food fix. Being on the front foot means we anticipate and plan for this so we don’t fall for the same temptations over and over again.
Gaps, yes not being in purpose. We can purposely rest, eat and sleep. But if we chose not to do life purposely all sort of energetic choices come. Purpose for me is about responsibility to the all, not the individual. So rest, sleep, eat for humanity, a work in progress, and to ponder the effects of making it about ourselves.
Nicole, reading this makes me realise how important it is that we appreciate ourselves and also that we are willing to deal with what comes up. Often I can feel that if there is an issue – something that is upsetting – that going for food seems like the easy option, whereas in fact sitting with the upset is much more effective and we can then deal with what has happened rather than try and ignore it and numb it.
Finding that just about all that is available to eat becomes a distraction so we become shopping-oholics and that we are addicted to shopping for our favourites sweets and salted saviours to the point of distraction and then we can not even sit down to eat but eat on the run as we leave the shopping malls!
I would agree with this and am finding that it is becoming very clear when I am eating to stop feeling and eating because I am upset; ‘Perhaps there are issues, feelings, emotions that we feel, observe or see around and within us that we simply do not want to feel.’ I am also aware that eating when upset never helps and actually only makes the issues seem worse and harder to deal with.
Our body knows what we need foodwise, type of food, the amounts, the timing of eating, the nutritional value, though it’s our overriding mind seeking to satiate our need, grievance, upset or issue that lead us to bludgeon ourselves with food as you share Nicole.
What my body needs to nourish it and what I may want to eat can be very different things. Making the space to feel the former is a practice I’m working on as overeating or eating what I don’t need feels horrible and uncomfortable in my body, directly after and like a hangover the next day, yuk! I’m then duller and distracted by that and simply less able to be me. I’m beginning to see how my past relationship with food are go to’s, addictions I’ve used to avoid life and be all I can. The word irresponsible comes to me!
‘ I am simply suggesting that possibly we eat more than what we actually need.’ I so do this! If I ate only when I am hungry I would eat far less food …. er maybe I should try this!
I have noticed babies only eat when they are hungry, and when they’ve had enough they know when to stop but as we grow older our eating habits start to change. So, when and why do we learn to override what our body tells us and opt for overeating instead of listening to our body?
If we do bludgeon ourselves with food the worst thing we can do is beat ourselves up, when we further critique and judge ourselves we are only adding to the cycle of abuse.
We as a society have certainly lost touch with what the purpose of food is, which is first and foremost to nourish our bodies. We began our relationship with food in this way as babies eating simply what is required to support us to grow. If we are honest, now we see food as a drug, an entertainment and we are addicted and obsessed with foods and flavours that we think are satisfying our hunger but in truth if we are open to exploring, we are self-medicating our discontentment in our lives. When I could feel my addiction to sugar I decided to give it up, and it was then that it became very evident how much of a drug it and food can be. Understanding how I am with myself, the degree of love I honor for myself with has been what has transformed my relationship with food to now be far more honouring, not by means of any perfection but so much more nourishing. I honestly now do not feel I am missing out on anything as how I am feeling in my body and within is worth so much more than dishonouring this feeling for anything.
Until we get to a point where we want to nurture truly our bodies and this includes our being, heal what we have brought in and take responsibility for what we reflect do we start to see true shifts with our relationship with food.
I have proven many times that the little voice comes whether I am hungry, or my stomach is full of food. It’s nothing to do with hunger. It’s that we don’t stop to ask our body what it is really feeling. Under the superficial response of wanting to eat will be another feeling, perhaps one we don’t want to feel. But what happens when I do stop is that the feelings and my body open up with being listened to and the need for food is no longer there.
I can relate to this Fiona. Often if we don’t act immediately to the urge to eat that screams ‘hungry’ and wait, something else happens. We’re given space and the imagined hunger dissolves.
This blog made me think of all the times where we celebrate an occasion with food and end up eating far more than we usually do. And you likening food to alcohol is apt, as once upon a time alcohol played a big part for me in any sort of celebration and like alcohol if I over indulge in food it makes me feel really bad.
“To Nourish or Bludgeon – How do we Use Food?” – the more at ease and in-love with myself I am the more i nourish my body with foods that support it. Those times I eat to numb myself from feeling what i do and can feel, shows me how for a moment I’ve lost my connection to my own ease. In honesty, we come to know ourselves better.
How do we use life? We bludgeon our awareness everyday then turn around and glibly say we feel battered at life’s hand – but it was us who called the beating in, on purpose that’s what we need to understand.
My first response to ‘bludgeon’ myself with food is when I am feeling tension about an issue and want to numb or medicate the feeling. But lately I’ve observed in myself, a desire to dull or bring myself down with food when I am actually feeling great. It doesn’t make sense but it is something to keep en eye on.
I can relate to what you share Rachel both sides of the coin, but especially to feel our greatness and deliberately cut it down to size by eating foods that dampen the beauty we feel inside. Being aware of this is supports us to accept and deepen rather than push it away.
When we ask ourselves why we continue to eat foods which leave us feeling dull, or in my case nauseous we get closer to unraveling why it is that we keep repeating the same patterns of indulgence and regret.
Appreciation of ourselves is key here when it comes to accepting ourselves with warts and all. Often we put too much emphasis on what we think society wants from us but at the same time forgetting that everyone else is doing the same thing.
Yes our physical bodies require food but how much and when, is a little skewed to what we actually give it. About five years ago I had to have a procedure done where I was going under general anesthesia and had to fast for a day. Because I couldn’t actually have food, it exposed how many times a day I thought about food, how many times I went to the cupboard or the fridge to just grab a handful of this or that, and how I used food as a reward. I was also able to feel how much space I had to feel what needed to be done or what I felt to do and how focused I was when I wasn’t distracting myself with food. Everything was so simple and flowed and I wasn’t drained or tired and I also moved a lot more gently.
It’s true it is how we feel about ourselves that matters. We can be told how beautiful, kind generous, sweet, strong etc we are but if we don’t feel it we cannot be it, as in expressing it. So how vital it is then to get in touch with our essence, that part of us that is true and is love, is in harmony and is still and joyful. This is what gives us true confidence and allows us a life…as in ‘get a life’. This is what supports us to feel full without the need to overeat or eat things that don’t support us.
Great to read this again and consider the many underlying reasons why I reach for and eat food when I don’t need any. A lot to examine on not feeling uncomfortable about feeling amazing, and feeling discomfort from what I am aware of going on around me.
Melinda, looks at the what led us to the food has been key for me to help heal the root cause of my cravings and is a constant part of my life.
Simply expressed David yet important looking ” at the what led us to the food has been key for me to help heal the root cause of my cravings and is a constant part of my life’. The constancy you speak of is key as we will face the same situations over and over again. Consistency, saying No to numbing and asking deeper questions of ourselves is foundational for true healing to occur.
We cringe at how we can bludgeon with a hammer and harm another yet play less to the harm that is caused on our body and all our senses when we choose food that is not as instant in its attack yet sooner or later comes to the surface.
Great point to raise Ariana – it is always energy first.
I cringed when I saw the word ‘bludgeon’ and the word food in the same sentence. I know that has how I have eaten in the past always, I still can have this behaviour come up at times but really feel the impact of this on my body and the bloating and heaviness when we bludgeon ourselves on food.
Anna food is something that takes up so much conversation and discussion in society, I was at an airport recently and could see how easy it is to get any type of food. In fact there is more food in the airport than the cafes in our town at the moment. An amazing difference from 20 years ago.. what did we used to do?
David, I saw the same in a recent stop at an airport. I’m also aware of how we are bludgeoned with food: it is sold in every possible media, radio, TV ( if you watch it) newspapers, magazines, stores, on-line, websites, the underground-everywhere flooded with adverts for food. Is it any wonder people are so food obsessed.
We are sold this picture that we need to eat to survive and whilst true does the food industry and how we use food in anyway represent that? Nope, for most not even a smidgen. When it comes to survival we use food for almost anything but that. Sure we need to eat but when is that truly the reason why we are eating what we are eating? We have corrupted our relationship with food to the extent that we have confused the true need of our body’s nutrition with emotional cravings within us.
It is so easy to abuse the body with food and often we don’t even see it as abuse, we see it as a treat. We go for cake or chocolate at the end of a long day, reaching out for a glass of wine after a stressful day at work is common yet the physicality of the body so naturally demonstrates the harm of this.
Checkouts often have quantities of snacks, chocolate and sweets and when shopping with young children pester power often wins out. Not a great way to educate our young ones about healthy food consumption.
“Perhaps there are issues, feelings, emotions that we feel, observe or see around and within us that we simply do not want to feel. ” Spot on Nicole. It is well known that traumatised young ones may often go on to have a disordered eating pattern – whether to deny themselves food or binge eat. Dealing with our hurts – a way to disentangle ourselves from such patterns
I have found myself feeling quite tired this week and as a result the “You need to eat, you are hungry” voice became very loud indeed, so loud a couple of times that it blocked the knowing that I was actually not hungry, I simply needed to rest. I am slowly starting to differentiate between the feeling that I am truly hungry and when I am just tired, but I still get caught out every now and then, with my body subsequently suffering from my non-nourishing food choices.
I would say that I have an addiction to food and that equally I don’t want to see what I’m avoiding. This blog gives me a lot to consider and ponder on in terms of why I have such a tumultuous relationship with food.
Food adverts seem to be appearing everywhere, this morning when I logged onto my business banking account there was a packet of sausages staring me in the face, so why is it wherever we turn we are being sold the latest drink, snack or new diet/superfood? Could it be there is more to, what’s behind the adverts enticing us to consume more?
“Food for me has been used in many ways: yes the obvious, we need to eat to survive, but I know for absolute certainty that I eat much more than I actually need.” I think when we are honest we all know when we are eating to much but it is one of our best ways of numbing ourselves so we do everything and anything to keep it this way. Even though it is keeping us small as we could feel so much greater when we would be willing to eat just what the body truly needs.
The more we live the love we are, the more we realise how food and everything about the digestion of it and in particular of certain foods/foodstuffs, affect us and our body. Listening to and taking full note of that response leads to deeper self-love. Deeper self-love is how we evolve.
If we genuinely and biologically needed to eat as much as we do, the food companies wouldn’t have to work so hard to entice us to eat. It’s simple; the demand isn’t truly there, so they have to create it falsely – this is the foundation of the whole zillion-dollar industry
Yes, Nicole, when we eat food to dull our awareness and our senses, we are abdicating responsibility for ourselves and getting to the bottom of what is creating tension inside us. With commitment and self-awareness we can learn to manage our emotions and reactions so that they don’t rule us.
Sometimes when we know we are eating to numb or bludgeon ourselves we can get caught up in beating ourselves up, far better to focus on the love we are and the loving acts and movements we do make – we then notice the unhealthy choices start to drop away – naturally.
I know that I often eat too much when I want to dull being more aware.
I had a great experience yesterday where I went out for a meal and I ate really lightly. Previously I would have chosen a large meal as I was ‘out’ and it was a ‘treat’, but this time I felt what would support my body and felt how much to eat and it was being with a friend that was the focus rather than stuffing myself with food and so I felt light in my body and was able to sleep well afterwards.
Inspiring Rebecca, I know what you mean with eating more than you usually would because you’re out. With you eating light your friend would have got more of you, instead of a dulled down version from overeating.
Nicole, I went through a period recently of really overeating, I put on weight and I felt dull and heavy. It has felt great to look at and talk about why I was overeating, being honest about it and instead talking about how I have been feeling has allowed me to stop overeating as much as I was, and if something upsets me I am starting to stay with this and allow myself to feel the upset and sadness rather than eating to avoid feeling it.
“To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.” – a loving work in progress for me but one that I love working on.
We tolerate a bloated, uncomfortable feeling in our body when we choose to overeat, but why? When it’s possible to feel vital and fresh even after a meal…
‘So the challenge begins when my body feels amazing, light, vital… “I cannot be this amazing,”’ I have clocked in myself in those times when my body feels amazing, so light, open, delicate and an inner strength of knowing. I love it when I feel this way. It doesn’t make sense that I choose to sabotage myself by over eating or eating stuff that I know will dull me, virtually straight away. Being in a light body brings more awareness and I want to avoid being more of that.
I am noticing that I am far more likely to choose foods that I know do not support me when I haven’t taken the time to prepare enough food that is truly nourishing in advance. So when I come home from work and my body is feeling genuinely hungry, I want to eat something straight away if there is nothing there, that’s when I wobble the most. I generally put time aside on Sunday to prepare food that I can add things to during the week, giving me a loving foundation from which to make loving food choices during my week.
I feel the reason why ‘food’ and our eating habits is such a touchy subject is that we all know when we are abusing ourselves with food. We know when it’s our ‘go to medicine’ and we avoid being completely honest about it as then we’re faced with having to make a choice – do we knowingly continue to abuse ourselves, or do we start to make more loving choices to deconstruct our ‘attachment’ to food once and for all. It’s much easier to just plead ignorance and carry on with irresponsible ways.
‘I love to cook and share meals with others, but it can be something I choose to use as a distraction, rather than something that is done to support, nurture and nourish me.’ – I can very much relate to this Nicole, whilst I totally appreciate how very different my approach to cooking is today, than it was say 8 years ago. Not only am I eating different foods, those that truly nourish my body, but I am drawn to eat them, I want to eat them, rather than feeling like I ‘should’ eat them. With this I also appreciate that I still have a complex relationship with food and that there are many more layers for me to lovingly peel back before I am ‘free’ of my ‘attachment’ to food.
“So the challenge begins when my body feels amazing, light, vital – and in comes the avoidance, the tension of, “Oh no! Life! I have to deal with all of this,” or “I cannot be this amazing,”” This so explains what happened to me today, there I was feeling really light and aware of what was going on and it was too much so there I went and ended up eating things I didn’t even enjoy. Really it is crazy that we try our best to dim our light that otherwise shines so brightly.
“To Nourish or Bludgeon – How do we Use Food?” – the exploring of ourselves in (self) relationship leads to the exploring of foods to become responsive to which types/forms of food support us naturally and which ones don’t. We only bludgeon with food when this exploration has been stamped on or trodden over.
I’ve been refining my relationship with food and couldn’t agree more with what had been shared here. How I use food to keep me in comfort and avoid the tension I’m feeling in my body because something is coming up for me.
I observed the old habits I used to have creeping in again. What’s even more interesting is I observe the signs to say don’t eat this or don’t eat anymore as I’ll either spill it or drop the whole thing – what a message I cannot ignore anymore.
Yes indeed, Nicole. When I turn to food to relieve tension or fill the sense of emptiness I feel inside, I now stop myself and enquire ‘where has the love gone?’ I know that as soon as I re-connect to myself and feel the love in my body again there will no longer be a craving for any kind of substitute.
I say yes to this, “Could the drive behind how, why, and what we eat actually be coming from a thought, a mindset that is not actually our own?” because there are so many times that when I feel my body it does not need food and there are no hunger sensations at all but then something happens (might just be 5 mins later) and all of a sudden hunger pains are there. It’s like checking in to the body and then the mind who when we give the upper hand to goes no listen to me you need something outside of yourself right now.
How do we use life? It seems like we all want a ‘good’ one but if we are honest do we get up every day to nurture our light or bludgeon it to fit in?
‘Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are?’ One would think that this is crazy but it isn’t when I consider that we aren’t brought up to embrace our amazingness at all. We maybe get praised for doing a good job at something or excelling in one area, but just for being amazing, well, that’s usually downplayed, belittled or ignored. Could it be that I/we need to give ourselves permission to be amazing no matter what jealousy, ignoring or disapproval comes our way?
It is not about not to eat, as our bodies do need to be nurtured with nurturing food, but mostly it is about the quality in which we eat that makes the difference and takes off the importance of just only the food.
For many it is difficult to withstand the temptation of a peace of pastry or another treat and therefore it is seen as a normal. But how is that for those who do not have that need to have this treat but simply choose to listen to their body. Perhaps it is wise to study those as to me there is something to learn from and that not being able to withstand the temptation is simply an addiction to needing a reward in any sort of treat.
I agree Gill, sometimes I just want off the merry go round of eating for the sake of it and then stop and ask myself if I am actually hungry, and more often than not the answer is no. At that point, I know that I do not need the food.
I am really adoring the learning with food. It is inspiring to learn step by step how the body is really not what we are told it is like, but to find this out in daily experiments is hugely worthwhile.
And that makes life so beautiful. As we are all returning back to Soul it is in how quick we do learn from what life in any moment is presenting to us and do take the steps that are needed. And in this learning food is so profound and on the foreground as we do use it too to distract ourselves from this advancement in the learning and use it to dull ourselves which is seen in many bodies nowadays. But we can also become very conscious with it and learn how to eat to have a body that is vital and light. A body that is able to take that next step back to Soul withour any effort or hesitation.
This has been the biggest challenge for me. Food was a family event, cooking was a different thing altogether, flavours and being full was important to me. I grew up in an environment where food would be scarce and we were not allowed to waste anything.
Even to this day I over ride what my body is feeling.
What I am now finding is noticing the subtle messages coming through my body, I am questioning myself, I wasn’t hungry so why did I eat. I observe how I am left feeling afterwards when I disregard my body’s communication?
This is another adventure and love the messages coming through from my body more and more.
I was offered a point of reflection today. I am in my last few weeks of pregnancy and food has been a bit all over the place. But today – I was really asked to consider how I want to spend the last few weeks of pregnancy, and am I eating more fruit to race the body so I don’t feel the stillness offered. The answer is yes, and so sitting with this reflects the responsibility we have with food, and how we can use it to support us rather than take us away from what is there to feel.
That is a great question to ask when pregnant but one that we can stop to consider at anytime. Like, before we eat something or go for a second helping ask ‘do we really want to feel that way in the morning’ or go to work feeling tired and dull. Asking ourselves these questions really puts things into perspective.
I have recently made a number of choices around food which means that I am not ‘bludgeoning’ my body with it as much but this happened without me trying to make a change, rather the food habits just disappeared. This being due to me saying yes to that which I had been resisting previously. Now I can feel where there is the potential for further refinements in what and how I eat but I will allow these choices to come through feeling why I currently make them and look at accepting more of all I am and bring.
Michael if what you have experienced, live and shared was on mass then the dieting industry and all that comes with it would go bust, as it completely takes away the mentality that we need to have self-discipline or resist this food and that etc. Simply saying yes to life and evolving in our every day takes care of our body.
Yes, Nicole. These two words ‘nourish’ and ‘bludgeon’ perfectly describe the two options we have on offer each time we eat. The difference in the quality of energy whilst eating (even the exact same food) means that we either feel supported in our bodies or completely smashed, bloated or heavy from the meal. For me the key is to not eat in order to relieve or numb myself from hurts or ill choices I do not want to feel, but instead honouring the body and what it needs to be fit for purpose.
Agreed Janet, the quality of energy of how we do what we do is far more important than what we are actually doing. Even though both are ultimately important.
And what about the ubiquitous micro-wave that will simply provide fast food in seconds.
Love of food will one day be understood for the Love in the way it is brought, prepared, eaten and also the importance of our divine expression while eating so that our connection to our essence in that expressing becomes the key element in how what and where we eat.
‘Bludgeon’ That is such a good word for what we do to ourselves when we ignore the truth of our body and just follow the dictates of our mind . Nourish feels wholesome and infers care and love.
Amazing how we know exactly how to dull ourselves and with what food, I have found that often there is a calculation/u-turn that occurs where i get a clear sense of what would be the most supportive meal for me to eat, yet when i come to prepare it, I go off on another tangent and suddenly after a few twists and turns the meal is bigger and more ambitious and no where near my first sense.
When we complain about the effect of overeating and how our body feels after we use food to ‘bludgeon’, it’s a great question to ask why we then do it again the next day, or the next week… Could it be that we are getting more out of it than just the discomfort, and that actually there is something we are seeking out in terms of a sense of dullness, distraction or dis-ease that means we don’t have to be aware of so much that’s happening around us?
The sophistication of this dulling and distraction can be so subtle but on the surface, we can see the impact this is having on each other with escalating weight gains and our health systems at epidemic levels of overload.
I have done a lot of bludgeoning of my body with food over the years, so much so it was constantly trying to let me know it simply couldn’t deal with the offending items. But so, I didn’t have to face giving up these foods I became very adept at ignoring the messages, that was until they were so loud I couldn’t ignore them any longer. These days there is definitely less bludgeoning and that only sneaks in when I am tired or trying to ignore something I really need to do. A work in progress but one that is so worth the commitment.
Whenever I overeat I know there is a tension that I am trying to bury in the comfort and protection provided by the stimulation and dulling effect of food.
Same for me Jenny, I have been using food to numb my body many times but now when I do, I can feel the harmful effects on my body and how that then affects my mood, energy levels and therefore how I relate to people. Often when I am cranky at home, my children immediately ask me what I have eaten. They are pretty on to it when I am not being myself.
The true diet in life is energy – be clear about the quality you consume and you’ll be nourished. Anything else and you may as well be eating donuts everyday.
When we are connected to ourselves we know what to eat and when to stop eating, it’s when we allow ourselves to get tired and do not value who we are that the self abuse and bludgeoning is allowed to creep in.
Even eating ‘healthily’ I still have the propensity to dull, or numb what I don’t want to feel by eating excessive amounts of it.
Absolutely, you would describe my diet as extremely healthy and it has been for some time but I can still make myself tired and dull by overeating.
Same here Rachel, regardless of food its up to us how much we really want to feel.
It is like simply allowing yourself to feel hungry, and just observing what happens inside your head… Very revealing!
Never felt to do that, I don’t like feeling hungry so I avoid that feeling which raises questions about what plays out mentally when I have that empty feeling.
There is definitely a ‘naughty streak’ in me that wants to push the envelope and get away with eating food that does not support me. I seem to default to this, but rather than choosing to not understand it, there is actually so much I am offered and shown. I know more and more that food is a quick way to not be in my power. and so I play the game with it rather than asking ‘what am I avoiding’
Bludgeon is such a perfect word for what we can do to our bodies with food. It is a consistent beating down of the voice of the body until it cannot be heard or its only a faint noise in the background.
Thank you Nicole, reading your blog today I really felt how I eat to dull what I am aware of in life around me, amazing to have this insight. And a great line here “To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.”.
Having observed over more than 20 years working in hospitality and seeing how the general or even most people are with food has and still is fascinating. There a so many different things playing out but ultimately eating the food is a way of numbing and avoiding what we don’t want to feel. Hence why we all know when we are eating the food it’s not good or it’s too much but we keep going there time and time again. Breaking this pattern by healing the underlying issue is the only way so food doesn’t dominate us.
It sounds ridiculous that if we feel totally Amazing we use food to dull ourselves so we do not feel as totally Amazing. I know I have done this quite a few times but I don’t feel I have ever truly stopped and asked myself why do I do this so I will never do it again! Maybe its time to change this and maybe it is time to allow myself to feel totally amazing all (or more) of the time. I feel with something like this it is always work in progress and never about being perfect but instead saying Yes to loving ourselves just that little bit more each and every day.
The word bludgeoned is quite apt for describing how we treat our bodies and the relationship we have with food. Why is it that we can so easily eat to the point of not feeling anything else other than our over full bellies? What are we avoiding feeling when we keep eating even though we can feel that our bodies have said enough food already?
These days when I think I want something to eat I ask myself if I am hungry first – 9 times out of 10 it’s no I’m not.
It is quite common out there that we eat to numb ourselves with emotional eating, but it is not so well known that we also eat to take the edge of us, to not shine so brightly, to not feel so amazing.
A great exposing of the issues we all have around food in one way or another that changes everything in relation to taking real responsibility for how we live feel and eat and is very inspiring to be honest.
I find we as a race are predominately lacking in appreciation with regards to food and I wonder if this could be a contributing factor to the many different forms of eating disorders we have developed in our society.
This is an interesting point Chan. I will experiment with this myself. Thank you.
Recently I’ve been doing a little experiment where I only eat when I am hungry and I’ve found out two things straight away, and that is:-
I’m not as hungry as I thought I would be.
My body speaks louder to me without the bludgeoning of food it actually doesn’t need.
Thanks for sharing this Julie, it makes sense the body can communicate more clearly when it’s not dulled down and busy digesting what we over eat.
Great conversation to be having about food Nicole. I love what you say how crazy is it NOT to be having conversations and bringing awareness to the food we eat. It sure can be exposing and an attachment to distractions through the flavours and textures that are really really tempting yet when we can cut through why we go there with a sharp knife and be honest we naturally go for foods that support us not numb us.
Sometimes we just know when our digestion system is saying enough is enough. The body tells us clearly when it is not coping with our food choices and needs us to review exactly what is going into our mouths.
Everyone or almost everyone has issues with food whether they are prepared to own it or not.
We control what we eat so we do not feel what is actually going on, be that with eating the wrong foods or by starving ourselves with food, either way it is taking its toll on the body.
The challenge I find with food is I often use it to dull what I don’t want to feel about my day. It is not fun to feel the awfulness, the pressure, the tension or the disappointment. The challenge is eating to dull it doesn’t really dull it, it just dulls me, and then it is much harder the next day to deal with what is on my plate.
Very true.. we don’t actually deal with the tension and other stuff that we don’t want to feel just by numbing and dulling ourselves through food- we just cover it over for a few hours. What actually supports us to go there and allow ourselves to feel what we’d rather not? In my experience, allowing myself the space to be honest about what I’m actually feeling, is usually the first step.
Great blog here really digging deeper into why we eat the way we do. It makes complete sense to me that our food choices ultimately come back to whether we are accepting ourselves or rejecting ourselves.
That is interesting Andrew, I haven’t considered this before but it makes sense because my understanding is that our whole digestive system, energetically is related to acceptance or self-acceptance.
If we get really honest with ourselves, we would admit that we eat far more than we need. From this honesty we can then ask the why, why do I overeat? When we ask these questions to ourselves, the answer begins to unravel and we get to know more about ourselves and our habits and patterns.
Yes, we have to eat as our body needs the nutrients and energy and yes, we can eat to dull ourselves because we do not want to feel that what is in front of us, some things we have to deal with. That is the tricky thing with food and eating. There is a necessity but too there is that trickery from the mind that uses eating and food to keep us unaware, by making our bodies heavy and lethargic through choosing those foods that make the body such. We have to eat and that is a fact, but we can become more honest with that and acknowledge that we can be tricked by our mind that not always is that honest and not has the best intention to have a light body and a clear mind, two qualities that help us us to be more an observant than an absorbent of life.
Yes I love that saying “Eat light to be light” A very simple truth. I tend to drink more these days and it may be a substitute for eating – something to look at or just bring more awareness to.
‘…what we eat actually be coming from a thought, a mindset that is not actually our own?’ What a great question to pose. I know if I’m not coming from my body in regards to what will nourish it I know the thoughts are there to take me away from feeling my body. It’s like a part of me is at war with my body and wants to silence it. Realising this now I can allow myself to feel the extent of it and then choose whose side am I on?
Using food in any way to try and fix anything, leads us away from the simple, respectful relationship with our bodies that is innate in us. We are continuing to build a society that is completely obsessed with food, consuming or not consuming it; studying nutrition; ignoring facts about what supports our bodies and judging each other endlessly for our choices. One interesting observation is that as many of us deny ourselves food, we obsessively consume food programmes.
Indeed Mathilda, food is a major thing in our modern societies. I do currently live in the centre of a village for one and a half year now. In the close surrounding of our house there were already 10 in total restaurants, lunch rooms and coffee shops and in that one and a half year already two new ones have been opened, making the total up to 12. And they all run wel and make good businesses.
I so avoid what is there to heal and also what is there to embrace and what is there already lived to appreciate when I eat too much food that does not support me, but I am learning and that learning is leading me back to who I am in truth, so that I do not feel I need to check out and seek food as much as I did to not feel. It is still there but I am I understanding with it and know that we need to get to root of our behaviours, fears, lack of appreciation and not freak out and try and control what we put in our mouths. If we love ourselves we will not seek a check out.
Food has an absolute stranglehold on humanity.
Absolutely Alexis, we can see it for instance in the supermarkets where lets say 50% of the foods that are sold are not necessary for nurturing the body but simply to satisfy minds because of the tastiness, the sugar content and the dull feeling eating these foods can bring to the body.
The whole world seems to be obsessed with food, in one capacity or another. Surely it is time to put the importance of food in it’s place, that is that we need only enough to sustain our physical life and no more.
Food in our society has been overrated and needs to have its truthful place: eat to stay light, nourish our body and in no way loses it quality, instead it deepens it so we can stay aware what goes on in and around us.
Amazing the truth behind eating habits exposed and the emptiness if not connected to who we are with appreciation and love we feel and try to fill. A brilliant sharing of the truth and how we can change this with understanding and love in our everyday lives.
Food is a touchy subject! How crazy is that when it has such a vital role in our mental and physical outcomes. Let’s go there and unpack that beast I say – lovingly and without self-bashing!!
I agree Lucy, I love having conversations about food and exposing the many ways we use food to abuse our body. Collectively, our relationship with food has changed and in fact, when I look at the bigger picture it looks like our relationship with many things in life has veered towards abuse. Nowadays, anything can be used and turned into a form of self-abuse, for example, exercise, work, technology, social media, the news etc. and the list goes on.
Sometimes I know I eat to numb myself from what I am feeling from the world around me and sometimes I eat for the sake of dulling my light – as I am afraid to shine to brightly – all of this is crazy of course because when we do eat to nourish and not to dull life just flows and we can feel how truly loved we are.
“Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are?” Great question Nicole and lots more here on that very point: https://sergebenhayon.tv/episodes/episode-11-obesity-big-sugar-and-the-intelligence-of-space/
Up until recently I really thought that I overate food as a coping mechanism, which was very much from the illusionary perspective of being disempowered and a victim in life. But now that I realise it was a way to not feel my body and the incredible connection I have to my soul, I am much more accepting of who I am and the power that comes with just being me in the world.
This understanding around compulsion to eat “I realise it was a way to not feel my body and the incredible connection I have to my soul” very true Janet I felt that too, to the point that I knew it so well I could feel the tension in my body – and how the desire to eat comes up.
That is a much more supportive way of approaching life Janet. Feeling we are at the mercy of the next craving is a disempowering way to live in our day to day and feeds the willpower approach to diets.
I can very much relate Janet and it is awesome to be aware of our relationship with food. With more awareness, it has supported me to understand what is going on and I am more open to making loving choices once I have a greater understanding.
Janet so true, I know the food I turn to is very different depending on the quality that I have been feeling in my body. The more warmth I feel the less food i crave or turn to.
It’s so interesting that we think we are treating ourselves when we reach for a treat in the shape of food, but the opposite is actually true. When I do this I feel terrible afterwards! Not a treat at all! But when I use food to nourish me I feel great. What could be more of a treat than that?
Yes, Rebecca, there is a world of difference between when we eat to cope with life, or to support and nourish the body so we can bring all of our amazingness to the world.
If we accept we are using food not to feel, and we know exactly the comfort foods to go to, then the next question to ask ourselves is; what is it I don’t want to feel? When we ask the right questions, our wise bodies communicate very clearly.
And all we have to do is listen. We then get truer and clearer choices in our relationship with food, based on our bodies’ responses to life, not rules, fads or beliefs.
So true – I have felt this clearly recently. The more I have refined my choices of food from understanding what has led to them, the more I can feel in the quality of what I choose to eat.
‘To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation’. Wise and profound, and a beautifully summary of a blog we all want to read, because food in relation to, what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, what truly nourishes our bodies and what doesn’t, is a hot topic!
Snacking to take our minds off of the tension we are feeling is a big one and probably contributes to why many of us are overweight – consuming more food than the body needs. But there comes a time where no amount of food will deaden what we are feeling and sooner or later we have to face what we are avoiding.
“To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.” Loving these words Nicola – what a great reminder that is our responsibility alone to love and appreciate ourselves.
I know this pattern Nicole. This constant struggle with food the amount and type I choose that comes up me when I don’t want to deal with something or when I am feeling wonderful within myself and think I need a reward and this constant fight continues because I know I don’t really feel like anything to eat but want to eat anyway to put off dealing with whatever it is I am trying to avoid, but whatever that maybe it isn’t really going to go away it is only delaying what it is and that then makes it even worse because there is then the added struggle going on with what I am avoiding dealing with. How complicated that makes everything when it is far simpler and much more loving to deal with something when it first arises, then the reward is simply in the completion without the need for food.
Reaching for food is such an easy and readily available, and socially acceptable option when we have any feelings of dis-contentment or un-ease. It doesn’t take away the original issue that makes us feel uneasy, but it suppresses the unease and covers it up with another, more tangible issue – feeling overfull, dull, maybe even bloated and very physically uncomfortable. It clearly takes away our awareness off the original emotional issue/un-ease that we did not want to feel.
Nicole, this is very lovely; ‘I am understanding that it does not matter what anyone else thinks of us; it is what and how we feel about ourselves that matters most’. I can feel that as children if we feel this then we would not have the need to fit in and so we could stay ourselves without changing who we are to suit others and be liked . Trying to fit in at school and with our peers is huge and can affect us our whole lives.
When we eat the wrong foods we no longer have clarity and we get exhausted providing the perfect excuse to eat more of the same foods to make us feel better and so putting us into a viscous cycle which we find hard to break.
What you’re saying is ultimately it is not about food, but about awareness. If we are willing to feel, to face, to deal with whatever that comes up, to accept and appreciate our awareness, then our eating patterns may naturally be very different, without needing to see how we are currently eating as a problem. Meaning deal with the core energy and see what unfolds from that.
Yes.. how are we willing to be aware and what do we then do with that awareness? Appreciate it and accept all that we can see and know, and the responsibility that brings with it- i.e. After we’ve seen /felt something that isn’t true, we can’t un-see it, but instead we have to feel what to do with that piece of information next: to acknowledge and act in whatever way is needed, or incorrect action: dismissing, denying or burying what we have become aware of.
There are so many rule and ‘should do’s’ around food, this and that diet, that its no wonder that we have ‘disordered eating, that we don’t eat to nourish our bodies. We need to examine all these believes and ideals of eating and ask ourselves with all the diets and all the different types of foods, is it keeping us from being truly healthy.
It is interesting to observe that we eat at times to dull ourselves because we feel so amazing, and we have to ask ourselves why we choose to avoid our grandness and power.
I used to think I was the only one who had an issue with food. Like my issue was very obvious. But this blog and many honest conversations later I know food is a go to for so many.
But most people I know and with family, the relationship with food is unspoken. Well, it’s spoken about. So all the people at work who are on diets, trying to lose weight but going for the donut because they’re feeling work pressures. Or family members pushing food on others because they need to feel needed and loved and others taking on the food rather than saying no but I love you whether you cook or don’t for me. I’m starting to observe all that goes on for me around food. Like the extra curricular activity beyond the plain and simple loving act of feeding my body to nurture it.
I absolutely love all the questions being raised here and the invitation for us to become more aware and honest about our relationship with food. I honestly don’t believe that I have any idea what it feels like to be truly hungry, as I never get that far. Food is so readily accessible and features to strongly in our day to day lives that it seems we have to actively choose not to eat rather than the other way around.
I find that food is alll about me and my relationship with it so when I am pulled to eat it I know I am not liviing in a way that supports humanity – but rather for self. The thing is – if I allow food to be an indulgence, it is the start of an opening to let a lot of stuff get in the way and it leads to further complication in other areas.
I often see us eating first to nourish but that is then not enough, so we eat more or have dessert and that can then be a bludgeoning as it overrides the body but makes it temporarily easier to deal with our emotions.
I’ve noticed that food is definitely a secondary result of something, not the primary ‘issue’.
I recently decided to stop eating from reaction. I realised that I was using food to ‘recover’ from a hard day and was ‘bludgeoning’. My body felt heavy as a result and I did not feel ready or fit for my next day of work, and so the cycle continued. When I felt myself reaching for food that I knew would not support me I just stopped and asked myself if that was what I truly wanted to do. The answer was ‘no’. So I just didn’t. Instead I made a commitment to tune in to my body and ask if it truly wanted food, and if so what kind of food would it like. No decisions from my head of what I ‘should’ or ‘ought’ to eat. Doing this and honouring what my body says has totally changed the way I feel, and has supported my body to work without struggle. My mood has also lifted and I feel more like my true self. There is more room for joy and playfulness. So the question is – ‘Do I want to eat the treat more than I want to feel amazing’? The answer is NO.
I have used food for most of my life to not feel the tension of what I am reading and observing in life. By appreciating that I am super sensitive, I am starting to accept myself and life as it is, and so there is less need to dull my awareness. This is definitely a work in progress, but it makes all the difference.
There is much more going on when it comes to food than meets the eye, and despite the proliferation of TV cooking shows there is also a movement that says, lets look at food differently. Let’s consider the consequences of what, how much and how we eat and think more broadly, both for our own sake, and for that of the planet.
We don’t often consider it an assault or abuse to ourselves to eat what we do not need to; to nourish and nurture our body but it is in truth no different to a slap over the face. Or a punch in the arm. It’s just that it tastes good in the mouth but the evidence of abuse in the body is clear.
Food really does bring up so many issue for everyone – its a hot topic if ever there was one. But when we understand and accept how food makes us feel in our bodies and how it affects our thought processes, then it becomes very clear how our food choices affect us and how they literlally feed our habits.
Nicole, the title of your article makes me realise just how much I have been bludgeoning myself with food; ‘To Nourish or Bludgeon – How do we Use Food?’ I am very aware that if something upsets me in my day that when I come home I can eat to not feel this or to take the edge of the hurt – this of course doesn’t work and leaves me feeling worse. What I am realising is that coming home and stopping and talking about how I am feeling and what has upset me is really supportive and can stop me from bludgeoning myself with food.
Food is such a hot topic for everyone. It is spoken about in the buses, trains, at work in the tea break and most likely each of us talks about it at some point each day. Often it goes beyond the ‘what are you having for tea’ conversation to our relationship with food and certain types of food we keep going back to. However we seem to stop short with the way we address our issues with food. It is great to look deeper at the topic and bring more honesty into our relationship with food. From there we may find the opportunity for change.
Yes, the food conversation can quickly turn to dieting and how to handle food, which seems difficult as, on a population level, we are putting on more and more weight.
Nicole, what you are sharing here feels like the key to not over eating and dulling ourselves wth food; ‘To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.’
When it comes to food we say things like “I want this, I need this, I can’t live without this etc.” it’s like our oxygen. Where as if we asked our body I am sure it wouldn’t speak in that way. I know for myself when I truly do listen, my body wants something completely different. And there are many times where a lie down or exercise is needed.
“What is it about food that keeps us coming back, already full, feeling content and satisfied and yet, in creeps that little voice saying, “You need to eat, you are hungry.” I would say that in my experience, I may feel full or know I should feel full, but I don’t feel content. That is what we think the food is supposed to do, be a Band-aid for not feeling content. Yet food was not intended to be for contentment and so we need to keep reaching for something else in the hope it will be it. I have loved it as foods I used to crave no longer have any pull but there is still the same pattern of using food to dull myself or try to alleviate a sense of discontent.
The beauty shared here of the responsibility and purpose of food and how we eat and use it is a great sharing to really see what is going on and how we can change things and catch ourselves in the moment and stop and feel what we are doing and why with awareness and love for ourselves and our bodies and our future.
And what we are doing with these feelings.
This picture of someone eating some cold left over of the day before, knowing he is doing something he should not do is why I keep coming back to this blog. I just love it as it says so much of our relationship with food and with our body.
I’ve been exploring that secret behaviour… the packet of nuts in the car, the bar in the supermarket, that no one knows about. What is it that is so alluring… I think it is more to do with the thrill of having a secret, of doing something naughty or that no one else knows about than anything to do with the food. And its crippling… little lies that poke a hole in our bucket of trust.
Food first, second and third should always be “something that is done to support, nurture and nourish me.”
It is great to become aware of these reasons for eating so we can develop ways of dealing with these moments without trying to eat it away. Because eating never really takes issue away, rather it suppressies it for a while.
‘Whatever the reason, you name it – food has it covered: it is so often our go to, all rounder, good-for-every-occasion best friend and companion. Not to mention conversation piece.’ When people start to talk about food you can feel their relationship with food and that there is an addiction or at least how why they depend on food in the way they do, may it be their rescuer or their enemy. To come to a loving relationship with food we have to look at what you are offering us here and start to be honest and to not wait until an illness or disease comes along.
Stuffing down our feelings with food is a recipe for ill health and actually does not solve anything but as the article suggests only serves to bludgeon the body.
So much of life is set around food, you could say it is our greatest comfort, companion, reward and distraction to name a few. I have found that eating from the body rather than eating from my head has a completely different quality of outcome.
We do not really have issues with food, though it can certainly appear we do, we have an issue with our awareness and all we can feel, and do not want to feel. I agree it may not be easy to go there at times though well worth it.
We do know which foods are making us ill and which foods are supportive to us that we can eat it is whether we care to listen or not. We can see the harm that sugar causes children, we know the effect it has on their developing little bodies. We can choose differently and if we did the impact on the healthcare system would be absolutely huge.
When we use food to nourish we respect the body and align to our soul. When we use food to bludgeon we do the exact opposite.
It is certainly becoming clear to me that I eat to dull my awareness and I am pondering/delaying as to whether that it is because with awareness comes a responsibility!
This is an ongoing unfolding and learning for me; I have come a long way with my relationship with food, self-care and taking responsibility. The avoidance of feeling things still plays out though and inevitably manifests in a wayward choice/moment with food. One of the big differences is that I no longer focus on the food, instead taking time to review what led to my ‘wig out at the fridge’!
This is great Matilda to retrace our steps as to why we went to the fridge in the first place. The food is the end result of this.
Me too Matilda and I find that food is the end result of whatever it is I am trying to avoid. By taking a few steps back and reviewing what lead me to the food cravings is the key for me to understand what is really going on.
Many of us have simply lost the ability to feel what food our bodies need and how much. We do not consider overeating an abuse if it tastes yummy. We may be aware of feeling bloated but if the symptoms subside within 24 hours then we forget. Only when the weight goes on and the clothes feel tighter do we go ‘uh oh better stop eating so much’
So true, Carmel – ‘We do not consider overeating an abuse if it tastes yummy’. We convince ourselves time and again that we’re not doing anything wrong when we are in the throes of overeating, but our bodies sure tell us afterwards that the opposite is in fact the case.
We can also put it down to, at least we are having a good time, it’s how we connect or a good one is, well I’ll push myself harder at gym and that will make up for it.
Great point Carmel and when we are disconnected from our body, it is very difficult to feel what our body is telling us, and therefore, we more likely to overeat because of our disconnection and lack of awareness.
It is how we feel about ourselves that matters most..yes, always. When we feel connected to that sense of absolute knowing of who we are, nothing else can compare to that feeling- no food, no external experience. Feeling amazing is within us all, is free and something we can choose whenever we decide to.
I would estimate that about 90% of food production today is aimed at bludgeoning our bodies. And so this begs the question, Do we eat to live, nourishing our bodies with simple, fresh ingredients or do we live to eat and in the process attack our bodies with substances that it cannot digest, does not want and upsets its beautifully delicate chemical processes and finely tuned systems, resulting in a condition we call an ‘illness’ that we then blame on external factors?
“To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.” Thank you for this reminder.
When I have given my power away or let something affect me in my day, I feel entitled to come home and overeat because of the struggle, rather than taking responsibility for where I disconnected from the inner knowing that informs me of the energies at play in any scenario.
That’s the key isn’t it – responsibility. I know this one too well. Enjoining what goes on around me during the day at work and then trying to not feel what I have absorbed and the contraction in me later by numbing down by body with food. Great to bring this simple understanding to the situation and be able to have a choice of which way to go next time around.
Yes Janet, the overeating comforts and relieves but only temporarily. It then becomes a double whammy; we not only have to deal with the reason we overate in the first place but the consequences afterwards for overeating too! There is so much we can learn from our relationship with food that can support us in our every day living if we are willing to be open and address our ill-movements.
When I commit to eating only the foods that I know support me I feel completely different and I don’t feel nearly as anxious or stressed as when I don’t. It seems anything that I consume that disturbs my body and my connection to myself leaves me feeling in someway anxious or less safe.
I avoid going to this deeper exploration with food, thanks for sharing your observations it is helpful.
I agree Richard and I love your honesty. I too am learning to listen to my body more and more. There is so much to appreciate about our body and what it is communicating to us.
I wonder when our society is going to recognise that food has been used much like a drug, it has become an addiction for many and this could be one of the main reasons why our obesity rates are on the rise.
How we use food to numb ourselves is a complete science, we are super clever in that we know just how much we need in order to just get by and avoiding shining!
I did an experiment recently with allowing myself to eat when I felt to rather than sticking to any rules, but then I went to the other extreme of eating too much, so I am still learning to listen to my body intently and eating to support what it needs each day.
And my experience is that this is a dynamic and always learning process. The more I listen, the more my body tells me so there is no end point, dogma or perfect set of rules. This I find very inspiring as a reflection of the endless unfolding and opportunity to understand more.
Re-reading this today brings it all back to energy first for me. It is the energy of any given situation which we must learn to be open to feeling and respond to to not then choose to use food to try to alter this.
Yes its crazy how food is being used and more so for dulling rather than support and nourishing our body.
I agree Fiona we a constantly refining our food in connection with other areas of our life. It is a constant process of evolution.
The snacks and in between meals foods are everywhere nowadays, you only have to go to a checkout counter in a shop and possibly you will find already a snack to grab, even if it is not the trade that is sold in that shop. It is so common nowadays, but too shows me, because of supply and demand, that we are asking for having these snacks for a reason.
Yes we need to eat to survive. Although we can go a long time without food we still need food to stay healthy and alive. But what I see is that food can also make us ill, obese, dull, anxious and so on. At least it can take us out of our natural state of stillness, the stillness within we all are bron with.
Interesting how we are open to various diets and trying new foods, but we are unwilling to look a little deeper and ask ourselves why are we eating this and that and is how and what I am eating actually harming my body in any way?
Love the photo – the look in the eyes is like “Oh, no! Am I busted?” How often do we eat like that? Surely that’s a tell tale sign something isn’t right about how we are eating.
And we all know that we at times do eat something we should not eat, but simply cannot stop. There is a pattern at play, a pattern that is ingrained in our body from moving it over and over again in the same way, so much so that it becomes our normal way of being but innately we know it is not who we are.
It feels like when we are denying ourselves of food our body is calling for and then we feel a drop in our body we just go for the first food we can get our hands on.
“To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.’ The fact that we all eat to much and the reality of what is really going on is so clear here and opens the doorway to looking deeper at food ,ourselves and the appreciation and love we truly are .Missing our selves and our connection is the key to understanding and by bringing more love into our lives and brings a fullness instead of food and other distractions.
Gosh, it is good to take a moment to appreciate how much my life has changed since I have started to pay attention to firstly what I am eating and later on why I am eating as well. To be ware of our habits when it comes to food reveals a lot about our patterns, hurts and willingness to move forward.
I am starting to consider this constant need for food is related to the drive we are living our life with. We need to fuel that drive somehow and when we feel a glimmer of tiredness or disappointment around the situation we go to food to numb the feeling so we don’t have to slow down and feel.
It is crazy how we use food to do this to ourselves, if only we just stopped to connect, read what is taking place and honour the body it what it truly wants/needs at the time.
Food can be such a tricky area because we have to be really honest with ourselves about whether we want to eat from hunger or to dull something we are not wanting to feel. This is a continual learning process for me, but listening to my body more throughout the day gives me a constant marker of where I am at.
Yes I agree we do really have to be honest with ourselves as we can eat when the body truly is not hungry for food and dull ourselves.
Yes, I agree. To be completely honest with ourselves is very supportive for our growth and evolution. Without honesty, we could spiral out of control into a pit that could potentially be very hard to get out of.
Becoming aware of eating to dull our awareness of what is really happening in life is only ever a temporary delay, for we are forever called to be and live more of who we truly are.
Thats the beauty we are constantly being called to live more in every moment, eating dulling food is only a delay.
One of the difficulties of society is the way children are rewarded with food , food like desserts cake sweet etc. We then grow up with this understanding and use food to reward ourselves, with no consideration as to, how the body feels.
Yes totally agree John. Then we as adults continue the same behaviour, extending it to a glass of wine or two after a ‘long’ day at work or a few beers in the pub on the way home; gong on holiday to lie for hours in the sun …none of this actually serves to nourish us although we can so easily convince ourselves that it does and continue living the lie, bludgeoning our bodies as we go.
Food is one of the ultimate escapism so we don’t have to feel. In recent times food has become even more exciting with flavours that deliver extreme taste sensations that all your senses are stimulated. If we don’t get this we are not satisfied.
Yes I am really seeing the justification of the food creations that are being produced now they are more and more extreme. We call it free will and exciting or a great skill but if we are honest we bludgeon the body with the physiological impact of the complexity of the necessary digestive processes that ensue.
It depends on the energy in which we eat food. Foods that I use to dull myself can also be eaten for nourishment if I tune in to feel what I need and then eat in a conscious way rather than a numbing way. It’s not the food, it’s how we use it.
Accepting myself in full where I’m at and I mean the qualities such as joy, glory and love I am finding challenging at the moment. It’s as though I feel surprised when they’re there, coming from a place of not deserving them! Yet these qualities naturally belong to me as they do to each and everyone of us yet I sometimes bludgeon myself with food or choose to be in another’s presence that does not support me to distract myself and bring myself down in order to avoid feeling how gloriously amazing I am.
Filling up on appreciation has a lot less calories 🙂
Haha that’s a good one, I’m pretty sure it burns more calories to love ourselves than goes in anyways – correct me if I’m wrong 😉
What I have found to be truly supportive, when I’m eating food that I know is actually of no benefit to my body, is to eat it in a way that is loving. I know this might sound like a contradiction because eating the food in the first place is not loving but if I’m anxious when I eat it or if I then feel guilty after having eaten it, then these things are very damaging for my body. So to the best of my ability, I eat one loving mouthful at a time and once it’s finished I have no thoughts whatsoever about what I’ve just eaten, I simply carry on with as much conscious presence as I can muster.
Now when I crave a banana or some gluten free bread I can ask myself ‘what is the vibration of these foods that I am seeking?’ Why do I feel I need that level of vibration? What is the tension I am trying to avoid feeling?
It is lovely how we can now bring this understanding to foods we crave and then have a choice in what we choose to do next.
Definitely we all know we eat far more than we need to, we also know that we eat because it feels comforting to do so, especially when we are feeling emotional we try to dull the experience with alcohol, a tub of ice cream, cream cakes, whatever it takes to elevate the feelings that we have that are churning within us at the time. I have discovered the more I eliminate emotion from my life the less I rely on food to fill me up, dull me down or race me. There is a science happening here maybe it would make a great research project for someone to research how feeling content in one’s own body elevates the need to use food and certain sugary drinks as a prop for life.
Great piece of writing Nicole and a huge topic that everyone can relate to.
Since bringing more focus to what, how and when i eat, i have seriously revised my use of the word hungry, about 90% of the time i think that i’m hungry, i’m not, i’m just feeling the tension of unfinished work commitments; putting off spending time with my kids/husband or simply avoiding feelings of low self worth or self loathing…..
A while ago I pondered on whether what I thought was hunger really was hunger. Maybe that feeling in my tummy wasn’t hunger at all, only something I had labelled as hunger.
How do we use food is a great question to keep reminding myself of. Am I eating to nourish and support my body or am I wanting something from the food whether it be relief from what I am feeling or a sense of elevation as I’m not feeling enough. And my food choices stem from the way I have been living and naturally I choose foods which will support me the more I am choosing love 1st and foremost whereas if I am feeling down then I find myself snacking and wanting foods I know are not supportive.
The struggle to fill one’s life with thoughts that leads to making food choices is a merry go round of doubt and complications that are leading us further from knowing that food and other distractions only numb the surface with sooner or later need to be felt.
Just be honest about food. What I like to eat and if I am listening to my body when I eat it or not. Eat it and then be honest how I feel afterwards. Really I don’t analyze too much and just let myself feel. Not looking for perfection either but developing the communication with this body.
Yes, Adele, I too am developing a more honest relationship with my body and food, not bound by ideals and beliefs but based on what I feel in each moment, giving myself permission to make mistakes and not judge.
‘Food and alcohol, – are they really any different, or is it that we see food as a necessity and therefore dare not question it?’ – I would say that with addiciton of any kind there really is no difference, it is a portrait of how unwilling we are to accept ourselves for who we truly are and fill the hungry void by living the love that we all innately are.
Do we emotionally eat – Yes, do we eat to dull ourselves – Yes. I have found that although my food choices have become more supportive I can still find ways of eating in a way that is not supportive and so it definitely comes from the quality of our thoughts, will power is not it, we have to make true healing changes at the root of how we live. Then the layers of hurts melt away and we no longer attempt to shield ourselves with a dulling layer of habitual food eating, this also melts away.
Very true Samantha, I have tried will power and it definitely is not it as sooner or later I will end up eating the food but probably bucket loads of it or I will eat something else or do something else equally if not more destructive. So as you say it comes down to the way we are living which determines our thoughts and thus influences all of our choices and actions.
So true Samantha – there is no point fighting food choices with willpower and not looking at the reason why we make them and dealing with this. Feels like bailing water out of a boat but not repairing the leak.
Yes, using will power to not overeat is not going to help us evolve at all, as we are not addressing anything and just making ourselves grumpy!
Will power does nothing to address the cause or what lies deep within.
Becoming aware of how we use things in life to either nourish or bludgeon has changed the quality of vitality I feel in my body, my awareness and my connection with myself. It’s a great question to ask in any interaction, meal time/snack, work, shopping… whatever it is. We are basically asking is this truly supporting me?
Nicole, this is super interesting; ‘Or that life is going so incredibly well, I am feeling so amazing, that rather than allow myself to truly appreciate and observe this, I dive into some roasted almonds, make some nut butter or decide to do some baking so I can lick the bowl.’ Reading this I can feel how important it is that we appreciate ourselves and how amazing we are and to be honest when things are going really well.
Understanding that food is what we use to help us achieve a certain vibration helps to be more aware of what’s going on when we make choices to eat foods that are not nourishing for our bodies.
Great question Nicole, ‘Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are?’ Your question actually answers a question I have, why has food become so addictive. I find food has become a form of reward, a way to numb our body, a way to abuse our body and the abuse is a way to not allow ourselves to feel how amazing we are. Perhaps also, we do not have the same level of appreciation for food like we did say 100 or 200 years ago, hence why abuse can easily creep in because we are missing the main ingredient, and that is ‘appreciation’.
Food has always been and will always be a source of struggle for many. Its needed to eat, but equally it is fundamentally pranic, temporal, and dulls us in one way or another. We can play all our issues out with food, and even a monk who has no other distractions temporal or religious, still has a relationship with food.
Sometimes i can feel how i am almost using food as i imagine people use shots of alcohol – feeling a tension and eating something as a quick shot of numbness to the system
I am with you there, I used to drink wine a lot, I have not for years, but I have noticed that I get a similar agitation then relief when I swiftly chew a snack these days, when I do not what to feel something, just as I used to with the alcohol. For me this identifies a layer of healing, and that there are further layers to let go off. It is important to observe this pattern and other patterns we habitually go into.
I find it very tempting to do both – to nourish and then to continue until I bludgeon.
I overate last night. I knew I was doing it and I still did it because I was feeling poorly and tired. The great thing was that in the past I would have used discipline to not overeat, but it actually felt good and more loving to just be honest about what I was feeling and why, so I could learn from the situation and not beat myself up about it.
Awesome Janet, I love your approach and I have done the same thing many times myself. I also, I find being honest with myself lessens the likelihood of beating myself up, because when I am being hard on myself it seems to block the learning that is being offered. So, I am learning that it is super loving to be honest and gentle no matter what.
Food is seen to be the culprit when love or the lack of love is why we do everything we do in life. If we know we are love to begin with, are we feeling and living it? The focus should be on love, and if we feel it in our bodies, not food.
“Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are?” A concept many will find hard to believe but undoubtedly it is true – what an illusion we live in where we strive for happiness and another way but our biggest problem is avoiding our own absolute amazingness.
My relationship with food is a very strong reflection of the relationship I have with myself. When I am connected and living in a way that supports me, my food is chosen, cooked and eaten in a nourishing way, but if I lose myself in the day, food becomes my go-to coping mechanism and I eat with a different energy altogether which always feels awful in my body.
A brilliant understanding of food and how we use it to fill ourselves when we are already all we are inside us and the valuing and honouring of this changes how we eat to simply nourish ourselves lovingly to support what is needed instead.
Over the years the way that we use food has changed. When I was growing up we ate three meals a day and that was it, now we seem to be constantly eating from morning to night. Could it be that we have more tension in our bodies that ever before which we are desperately trying to suppress with food.
Not eating foods that we know are bad for our bodies is something that happens naturally when we truly love ourselves. Using willpower to not eat something is not a solution because the desire to eat that food is still there.
Just heard of the radio today that 1 in 25 children in the UK are severely obese. Unfortunately this is just the tip of the ice burg – children even if not obese are eating more junk food, more sugar and drinking more fizzy drinks then ever – the poison of these types of foods and drinks does not only effect physically health but of course mental health too.
One only needs to read the ingredients of products of the food we eat. It’s like ‘Where is Waldo’ to find the product that doesn’t have sugar in it.
The way we eat and what we choose to eat gives us a great reflection of how we are. If we care enough we will stop and take a look at what it is we need to feel or admit or be honest about. I know when I feel great my food choices are totally different to when I am feeling not so great. Food is a great marker.
What has been a fascinating observation for me with my body is that even if I over-eat healthy foods that usually support me I still feel heavy, sleepy and lethargic.
Ditto – I find that if I over-eat (even if it is healthy food that would usually support me) it means that I have already disconnected from myself and I need to look at my movements and the chocies I made that lead up to the over-eating.
‘To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full…’ the true ingredients that sustain and fill us beyond any amount of food… this is the turn around understanding that will change the face of our rising and rising obesity rates.
When I eat to support my body, my body totally loves it. When I don’t over eat or eat things that don’t feel great my body loves it. But what also is happening as I am experimenting and feeling what feels true for my body is that when I am honouring this, not beating myself up and let myself explore and feel I am having a deeper connection with my being. My awareness is heightened and I can feel the direct connection with the Divinity that we are and are here to be. Things feel super clear and precise and there is not an ounce of doubting.
I agree, not beating oneself up but to observe and be very honest are the keys.
You have certainly posed some good questions and points about our food choices and reasons why we eat. It’s definitely a topic we need to look at more closely because being overweight or obese is the new normal in many countries. Considering we have so much information and support available around healthy eating and weight loss, but we are more overweight than ever before, it is really time to consider the emotional factor.
Yes great point we clearly need to look deeper as to the reasons behind why and how we eat.
Very very true Gill. It is not actually about the good perse. The food is the medication not the cause.
‘More often than not, it is at times where I am avoiding wanting to feel something that is going on around me – a situation, confrontation or emotion that I just do not want to deal with – so a snack is a great way to take my mind off it.’ I can fully relate to this and I’m sure many more can. Yet what I find, as a society we do not stop to question why we eat, what we are eating and look deeper into eating than just grabbing something and shoving it into the mouth. Rregardless of what we are eating, the simple fact of being aware in and about our eating before, during or after is a great starting point to bring about true change that supports the body.
I agree Johanna – true awareness and a deep self-honesty with what that awareness offers, is key to real and lasting change.
Food plays such a big part in our lives that it can be hugely challenging to look at what we eat, why we eat and how we eat. But if there is a willingness to be honest about even one of these areas of our relationship with food, then it becomes easier to begin to unravel what is behind our needs and wants when it comes to eating.
Very true Sandra. Overall, food plays a bigger role in our lives as a society than it actually needs to. We over eat, over indulge, eat too much and too many times in the day etc than the body actually needs. The drive for all this and the arrogant, ignorant excuse I feel is around the fact that from the beginning we do not generally view food as something to sustain, to support, to keep our bodies light and in purpose but instead use it as a treat, a check out, as a friend, a dulling, a medium to relate, and something to fill the void or to not feel. Currently as we use and view food – it is a crutch to our evolution in how we relate to ourselves and others in life.
Maybe we do use food as a crutch because we are not full of ourselves we use food to fill us up so that we don’t feel the emptiness of who we are. Just in the same way is it possible that people smoke as a way to fill their lungs with smoke because they are actually missing the fullness of their connection to and with God?
It is fascinating and important to explore the reasons we continue with habits that we know are harming… a willingness to go beyond the persistent justifications makes for transformative opportunities.
I can be going really well with food and then suddenly it will all go pear shaped when I find myself eating something that I don’t need. It can happen so fast if I don’t want to feel something. It is not what I planned to eat or felt to eat, but I find myself eating it anyway. Ultimately these are the moments that can help me evolve if I can take a really good look at them and what happens within me to lead to that choice.
I can super relate to this Rebecca. I find that just at least letting myself be aware and honest in that moment and even enjoying that unsupportive food rather than going into self judgement and critique and self bashing is supportive to look at the why and address it. I have discovered that the self bashing etc is far far more poisoning and damaging than any food and not being understanding with myself doesn’t allow for true steps forward but keeps me in the ‘not good enough’ etc. feeling energy and knowing the game that can be played let’s us be in control of how we next move our chess piece on the board of life.
There are no rules which work with eating food it is a case of developing a relationship based on the communication from our body and what we feel to being honest about what has happened in our day to influence our choices.
Exactly Michael – relationship with food, communication of body and developing. Getting caught in the rules, the diets, the must and mustn’t do’s are following something outside of us that may not suit us or what our body is actually needing and communicating.
If we as a society got only just a small percentage of what this means it could change the word!
We live to often with our heads buried in the sand ignoring the reasons why and what we choose to eat.
Indeed that’s it, food is one of the things we don’t want to ever be taken away from us. It’s life changing to look at how we take care of ourselves with food and in many ways when we see the extent of food that does no nourish the body I wounder how we are actually so little over weight – the body does work super hard to deal with all the rubbish we fill it up with.
If we are completely honest with ourselves, many of us are more familiar with trashing ourselves than we are with deeply honouring and nurturing ourselves. It is very difficult to stop eating food that doesn’t support us until we build a foundation of love and care that carries through to all aspects of our life. Only then can we handle the awareness we have access to when we eat in a way that truly nourishes us and supports our evolution back to Soul.
Once we realise how much we use food as a coping mechanism we can start to ask ourselves…what is it that we don’t want to feel? If we can stop and acknowledge the tension we feel in our bodies before we reach the fridge, we are well on our way.
Food can become a niggling obsession, a powerful craving that can be hard to overcome. I find at this point, it is driven by a tension in my body that i haven’t dealt with that builds in my body until food becomes seemingly the only relief. But really it is the original tension that needs to be addressed and understood and let go, before it ever reaches the point where food becomes a kind of numbing medication.
I have used food to snack on so I don’t have to feel what’s going on around me. Being sensitive and reacting to what is going on and feeling that is loveless I can see that has been my coping mechanism. Breaking that down and allowing myself to embrace my sensitivity and readings and observing what’s at play, not taking it personally and seeing it for what it is supports to break that avoiding pattern I have been in. There still moments that I don’t go there and now a days it is becoming more and more obvious which is cool.
I wonder how revealing it would be if we kept food diaries of all the snacks and meals most people have throughout the day?
And, if we added what we were doing just before we ate? How exposing would this be?
I have been finding as I have been renoucing abusive patterns in my life and hence feeling way more expanded within myself how I eat and what I feel to eat and how much has been totally changing. Shows that if you want to change your eating patterns look at changing the way you are in the rest of your life first.
Talking energy and what I have observed and also began to write about more regularly is that it is what motivates us at the root of our behaviours that matters, we need to expose these habits and the relationships we have that does not support us, great point made here “Food and alcohol, – are they really any different, or is it that we see food as a necessity and therefore dare not question it? Could the drive behind how, why, and what we eat actually be coming from a thought, a mindset that is not actually our own?” I stopped drinking a quite a few years ago but I have noticed that the way I eat can be very similar to the way I used to consume wine, and in this sense has the habit gone or has it lessened, but still shows itself and so is there an energetic component at the root of it…and can I alter what I choose if I look deeper – yes I can, and with honesty I will.
I have been feeling quite a bit of tension recently and find myself eating a bit more than usual. The main difference on this occasion, however, is that I am not going into a downward spiral of self-loathing about it, but constantly looking at why the tension is there and what I can learn from it.
“So how crazy is it to question our eating patterns, really? Though I’m beginning to ask, how crazy is it to not question them?” – quite Nicole, because when we question our food patterns, we question ourselves, the way we are living, the quality of that living and also way of relating too that many of us don’t really want to look at, to be honest about or admit the feeling and sense that things are actually not so great, and that the only comfort or pleasure in life is eating foods to dull or sweeten the “tastelessness” of life experienced, when deep inside us we know and miss life being what it’s meant to be in-truth: quality, decent, vital, trusting, open, expressive, joyful, harmonious, loving and evolving.
Food is a touchy subject because we all know that we misuse it; we eat too much, we eat to often, we eat things that don’t deserve to be labelled as ‘food’. We don’t eat to live but we eat to survive our discontent, our pain, our despair even. And we also all know that it doesn’t work, but we seem to keep doing it.
Yes, food is also a touchy subject because we are not so willing to let go of the vices we have in place that prevent us from going where we are all being pulled to go – back to Soul.
The food industry very specifically, very consciously, very scientifically and at a huge cost has, is, and will continue to create foods that are precisely bio-chemically designed to actually make us more hungry. And we are the guinea-pigs that are wilfully participating in this gigantic scam.
So true Otto… we participate because we don’t want to take a deep and honest look at our lives and our choices ie take responsibility for ourselves.
And in regards to the food industry… that is where making our own food from scratch with fresh ingredients, so we know exactly what is in it, is so super supportive for us.
“Though I’m beginning to ask, how crazy is it to not question them?” This question is so great. Surely something that we nearly all do three times a day (for many, if you include snacks, a great deal more) should be questioned. Is that not just a healthy and wise thing to do; to check, discern, evaluate, question…and most importantly, to truly see and feel for ourselves. It’s a huge part of lives and thus should be continually appraised.
Our relationship with food as result of what we feel in our days plays out not only in how we eat but how we go shopping for food, what we choose to buy, how we move to come to that point of buying food, how we prepare the food at home and the cooking process before we get to eat it. We can therefore use this time and an awareness of how and why we are moving how we do in this part of the process to reveal and understand more of why we are choosing to eat how we do and also to change the momentum we may be in by choosing to move in full connection to our body, as we shop and prepare food we can change the way in which we will eat it also and the effect it will have on our bodies.
Making a commitment to ourselves is such a pivotal step in supporting us to set new standards of self-care. I have found that once I have set a standard and lived it for a while then it becomes an almost permanent feature, as I know that to drop that standard would mean dropping my commitment to myself. What also supports me to maintain standards once set, is knowing that my commitment to me is also my commitment to humanity and to God.
A word that sometimes comes to me when I eat is ‘bolster’. It’s as if I am using food to bolster myself, rather than allow myself to sink back into the tenderness and fragility that I am invariably feeling.
‘Bludgeon’ is such a good word to describe what we do to ourselves when we disconnect from our bodies and knowingly cause harm by eating things that do not agree with us or binge by eating too much. But we have to ask ourselves what is creating so much tension in our bodies that we abuse ourselves in this way?
Taking a good look at why we eat is very challenging on many levels. On one level it is the most natural thing in the world to do, but on another we can realise that we are simply playing out our emotions or satisfying our cravings and needs. The more we look the more we can uncover our reasons for eating. It really is no different to alcohol in the way that we use it to numb and avoid, and it is a total addiction. We eat so much more than we need.
One thing I always have to ask myself now is “Am I really hungry, or is there something else going on?” For sometime if I leave it a while the feeling of hunger may pass which pretty much shows me that it wasn’t hunger but maybe I was feeling a tension or stress.
Yes the tension can often be the cause of the distraction to avoid feeling what is truly going on. Choosing food in that moment may ease the tension but it always returns sooner or later.
This is the key question. Is the body genuinely in need of sustenance…or am I craving something? If I am craving, then why? Deal with that and then see how I feel – 9 times out of 10 the ‘hunger’ has passed.
I have felt a lot of tension recently, especially at work, and have ended up overeating at dinner on a few occasions. The difference however is that I have not beat myself up about it, which is the most harming thing of all, and I have therefore been able to observe and understand what has created the tension in the first place.
Bludgeon really is a good word to describe how we abuse our bodies with food. It can be a never-ending assault with a forceful momentum that can be hard to stop.
What’s on the menu, every moment? For every movement is something we can be nurtured or numbed by too – so what is the quality of energy we consume and choose to let through? Have we made our life about nurturing grace?
What is interesting is that we rarely even ask ourselves why we eat because we are told that our body will always tell us we are hungry and that we should respond to that immediately! It has been my normal for most of my life and I have definitely used food to cope and to numb and to distract what I don’t want to feel. It is such a freedom to be able to consider that question now.
I’ve become much more aware of when I am actually hungry and when I am hungry for another reason, before hunger was hunger but now I can feel the difference if it is because there is something I don’t want to feel like an old hurt, an atmosphere between people or in a room, not at ease feeling amazing.. or if it is because my body needs nourishment, the difference is quite clear.
Yes Ruth, it is simple when you put it like that! We do know the difference if we are willing to be honest with ourselves and take responsibility for how we are feeling, even if we end up eating to relieve the tension or not.
What a superbly different approach to take in relation to our eating disorders to first study why we do not fill our selves up with our own self worth, self esteem and respect and cherish these qualities within us first and foremost, so that what we eat thereafter truly nourishes us.
Food is a tricky one, because we have to eat. It’s not like we can abstain completely but there is certainly a level of responsibility we have to go to now because the option, prices and availability is so prevalent and we are abusing this. A couple of generations ago we didn’t have the distribution from around the world and could only eat seasonally. It was only something that was possible to really indulge in if we were super rich. So we might now be able to afford cheap food with tons of sugar but at the expense of our health.
If we are honest with how our body feels it is clear why we have made our choices regarding food.
Hi Doug, yes I have been exploring this as well, and have found that I know when I have had enough to eat. There is a point where my body does not need even one more mouthful and if I override that sense I am letting my tastebuds take over…it is quite simple when we listen to the body.
At first I fed my children what the books and doctors suggested, not honoring what my children knew they needed.
When we start life like that, we immediately confuse the body as to what to eat. Is this the pattern that we carry into adult life?
Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for supporting me to remember the amazing intelligence that I have in my body.
I cannot go past the last line of accepting and appreciating the confirmation of the love we feel. Not much more is needed than to apply this philosophy. If not, you will have the emptiness to fill and that goes into a comforting option.
What a great understanding of food and why we overeat and or do not truly eat what supports us to be healthy and vital and live a full and purposeful life in our evolution. Such depth and understanding to something as sensitive as food and how it really effects us and is a very supportive and revealing way of living brought to us to ponder on.
Are we nourishing ourselves with food so we can be in tip top shape to serve in this world, or are we indulging in food because we selfishly crave it and want it and need it, purely for ourselves with no thought of the consequences for ourselves or everyone else.
This is a great heading; ‘To Nourish or Bludgeon – How do we Use Food?’ It describes clearly the choice we have with how we eat. I have observed with children that they often naturally know when to stop eating, they can be part way through a meal and they feel that’s it, they have had enough – it feels like a natural stop. With adults it seems that our heads and taste buds take over and we don’t want to waste food, or we get a greedy and want that little bit more.
The birth of TV and the bain of our lives to pay for this new tech that transmitted into our homes was commercials! We were sold everything. The candy bar people touted their products as a treat for working hard or something to give you a boost while doing those, all most extinct manual labour things today. Half a lifetime forward for some, junk food is now part of our food pyramid. And, for many, it is their whole diet! Sugar to our bodies is like water on steel; both will rot away over time.
I have noticed for some young people it really is their normal – the sugar, the treats all make life more interesting, fun and dare I put it out there – bearable. Food they would consider healthy is boring and tasteless. What I can really see is how this attitude is fed by the commercial world who have an investment in that way of thinking being normal. How wrong is that manipulation?!
Interesting how I eat a lot less often than I used to generally speaking but `i am eating bigger portions. I know I don’t need that much food and this blog is very supportive in seeing how we can blind ourselves and bludgeon ourselves with food.
Fill ourselves with love first. I like it.
That is great Doug I love how your playing with your previous idea of how much to eat etc is actually not quite as tricky as we set ourselves.
I’m sure many of us can relate to using food other than for nourishment. So much of life is planned around food, eating out, shopping and creating meals. We need food to exist yes though when we eat more than we need it dulls the body. No food will ever truly satisfy the hunger for connection and being full of the love we are.
“To Nourish or Bludgeon – How do we Use Food?” – we use food in the exact same way or quality that we are living life at that moment in time, when there is intensity and i’ve taken that one to create stress, i know i can bludgeon myself with foods that don’t support me, though when i’m in the quality of harmony, nourishing foods are automatically consumed.
I wonder how frequently we override the messages from our body that tell us we are full and choose the stimulation instead?
Being pregnant I found I gave my power away to food. I said ‘oh I want it just because I am pregnant rather than truly feeling into what would support my body. But i also came to the realisation that I had not been accepting in my body the pregnancy, and so since doing this, my shape has changed and some of the so called ‘cravings’ have dropped away. What I understand is that when a woman is pregnant, she is connected to something quiet exquisite, and so the cravings came as a result of me trying to dull this.
Love the photo – that is so what it is like. The other day my son handed me a piece of food and asked me to eat it slowly. I got a bit of a shock as I realised how often I eat so quickly that I don’t even taste the food. Not really using food for nourishment when I eat like that!
You could have been talking about me and my relationship with food here 🙂 Yes, there is so much to learn about how we can truly nourish ourselves without overindulging in the food. One pattern that I have noticed me playing out is that when I am tired I go to food to ‘give me energy’ as I still carry the belief that that is one of the reasons we need food. And while there is a certain amount of truth in it, there is a whole lot more energy out there that can be tapped into in other ways without leaving us feeling heavier as a result.
One thing I find fascinating with food is that how, what and when we eat dinner massively impacts our sleep, which then has a massive impact on the whole of the next day. I observe this in myself constantly – overeating in the evening, then restless sleep and then I’m tired and still heavy the next day, whereas it’s totally different if I don’t overeat, and I sleep much more deeply and feel refreshed in the morning – the small choice to not go back for seconds has a big effect.
Interesting how much we can observe and feel when we take the time to notice and be honest. I have also noticed how the in the quality of my sleep can differ according to the amount and time I eat.
Food, shopping for food and cooking food are all great distractions, tried and tested. And as you say, before we know it, we have forgotten what it was we were trying to distract ourselves from. Meanwhile that uncomfortable feeling cements itself a bit more in our body, only to come back up next time there is a trigger. And there we go again, food, shopping for food, cooking food …
We really don’t want to feel the tension of life and all the different aspects that it expects of us and encourages us to be less than who we are. We know we are much more than this so to numb ourselves with food is generally our go to or if not food, alcohol, drugs and cigarettes. All things I had a dedicate go at then realised that I didn’t want to exist in life this way anymore.
Your comment hits the nail on the head for me Natalie – our relationship with the tension we feel is key in understanding why we eat how we do and making changes.
Preparing and presenting food has become another hobby and pleasure in our current society, similar to travel. But do we sometimes miss the point that food is about nourishment first, middle and last or are we now more focused on food as entertainment and a distraction?
Setting new standards in our food patterns. This sounds great Doug
For me, it’s very supportive taking care of my full presence during the whole meal, as well as in the before and after. Sometimes food time may appear distraction time, spare time, … and the absence of presence allows whatever to happen, such as being more focused in the taste than in how the meal feels in our whole body, in the craving instead of what our body truly needs, ending eating those extra bits that numb us and take us offside during some hours, … Food is a need and, why not, also a pleasure, but is food (and the energy behind it) what decides about us or are ourselves who decide first the energy we want in our body?
It strikes me that we have a total arrogance to even consider that our bodies are ours to bludgeon with food in the first place.
We assume wholehearted and whole-bodied ownership of something that The Ageless Wisdom tells us belongs to the Universe and is made up of divine particles. Thats where the arrogance comes from.
We can make food our worst enemy and have a real battle with it but what if the food choices are only an end result of the way we have been living and so are not to blame. The more I see it this way and the more I take responsibility for the way I am living with everyone the less I feel the need to retreat and go to food as a way out because I cannot cope. So turning it on its head I can then go to food, something we all need, with the awareness of what will support my body the most and so eat completely differently.
Overeating is so normal its hard to even see it as overeating. The root issue seems to be we think food is just for enjoyment or for filling our emotional needs, rather than for providing the nutrition we need as a being here on earth for a purpose.
Food becomes everything – a dish for every emotion, for every state of mind and at present, cooking, cook books and chefs are glamorised over the top. It is as though humankind loves to eat and not the other way around, as Socrates taught a very long time ago.
We also place more importance on thinking our way out of the tensions and reactions of life rather than feeling what is there to be felt without judgement or the need to deny and bury further.
Very true Jenny, I cannot count the number of times I have tried to have an argument in my head over something and got nowhere and ended up doing or having it anyway – thinking does not work. Yet when I say ok so what am I being shown, why has this happened and go the the understanding of it then I get to see more clearing why I am reacting and no longer get caught in the tension of it and so do not need the relief.
“Jimmy Cricket” Nicole, may I toast your blog and have it with peanut butter so I can then deepen my appreciation of why I no longer have bread or nut butters!
Funny Greg. Appreciation is so key -for with appreciation and our will to deepen it we fill ourselves with it rather than needing to fill our emptiness or gap with food. I always find that if I start with self love and appreciation the habits and unsupportive patterns are easier to let go of because they do not belong with what the appreciation and self loving choices have supported me to build in my body.
What if we had it completely backwards, and the actual purpose of mealtimes was to connect with PEOPLE rather than developing an intimate (and indulgent) relationship with the food!
I love it Susie and it is definitely worth considering. I know the difference when I eat with others and make it about connection 1st rather than just scoffing the food down! I also find I then tend to feel less bloated and lethargic afterwards.
Now that would literally turn everything upside down and so it should. Our beliefs around, and the way we use, food are literally killing us as a society.
What I have come to feel is that we have a changing relationship with the quality of food, as we deepen the quality that we hold ourselves in and with. The more I enjoy making the space to cook, how it’s been prepared and cooked starts to stand out.
This isn’t about food snobbery, but appreciating how amazing it feels to nurture oneself through one’s own cooking and preparation.
Quality first then the rest takes care of itself of what to eat, how to prepare, how much to eat, how we connect with others while eating etc.
It’s exposing indeed when we lift the lid on food and really start to look at why we have a relationship with food. Diets are the complete avoidance of this and hence that they never truly work.
We and I certainly can go crazy around food to not feel. What if all of life is asking us to feel? What if all the world’s problems stem from not wanting to feel? Are we avoiding knowing who we are and how the world truly works through refusing to feel?
So long as we are not willing to look at our unresolved emotional tensions in our bodies, food will continue to be a ‘go to’ coping mechanism for most of us to varying degrees. As you point out, Nicole, would it not be wise for our healthcare services to support individuals to deal with their inner conflicts? This is where Universal Medicine is leading the way.
“To Nourish or Bludgeon – How do we Use Food?” Both ways.
I have found that controlling what I eat is not the answer, because it does not show me what is truly going on. If i crave ice cream but through control i don’t eat it, i will be in the triumph of seemingly resisting, but the energy has not been dealt with and will simply play out elsewhere.
When we overate or ate the wrong thing, (that does actually more disturb the body after eating it), it does not help to bash ourselves for it. When you are already in the place to eat in a way that is dulling you e.g. you should not out of a discipline avoid doing it. Rather overeat but then be so honest to look at the truth and renounce why you overate.
Yes Stefanie, that’s a great point. As by bashing yourself for eating something that doesn’t feel so great in the body afterwards, you are simply adding to the reasons that you went for the food in the first place. By being honest and nominating the truth of why you crave certain foods or over eat, you eventually get to a place where you realise you no longer want to eat those foods, and may even want to eat less.
Very true. The self bashing and the time and energy wasted on it is far more damaging. Better to just enjoy the unsupportive food and be honest to why we are going for it then take responsibility for the ‘why’ in our life.
“I am understanding that it does not matter what anyone else thinks of us; it is what and how we feel about ourselves that matters most.”
Hear hear Nicole. It matters not one jot what another thinks of us – and in this case what we eat or don’t eat. If they have a problem with it that is their stuff and has nothing to do with us. I know when I have felt something like this towards another – not necessarily about food but about other loving choices they are making that I am not – I direct my judgement at them but it is because I can’t face the fact I have not been choosing that level of love and care for myself – I get jealous, and rather than be inspired I have lashed out. But if we stop and let ourselves feel that perhaps what we are lashing out about is what we actually want for ourselves, it is possible to turn this jealousy around so we do allow ourselves to be inspired. This is so powerful.
“So why is food such a touchy subject?” – don´t touch my food! It is indeed a touchy subject as long as we use (that is need) food for emotional reasons, no different than being forced to go cold turkey with cigarettes, alcohol or drugs. The emotional abyss is simply too scaring to deal with, or so it may seem.
Yes, it takes a long time of gradual withdrawal until we eat sensibly, without emotions.
It is important for us to each give ourselves the time and space to support ourselves and gradually let go of the emotions and unsupportive foods. This process differs from person to person and this is why it is so important for us to listen to our bodies.
It goes without saying that we all feel better when we care about the food we consume, when we lovingly prepare meals, eat light and only the foods that we know support us rather than the ones that tickle our taste buds so why is it that we abuse ourselves so readily with something we need to sustain us?
I definitely agree that we need to consider more carefully what it actually means to be hungry.
A while ago I wondered if what I actually thought was hunger is actually hunger. We can survive quite a long time without food so are we really hungry when we haven’t eaten for say half a day or even a whole day. Or perhaps is there a clarity and awareness that we don’t often let ourselves feel and that is what we think is hunger?
I have often filled up on food when I didn’t want to feel how amazing I was feeling or if the tension I was feeling was a little too much for me to handle. It is a good thing to dissect the reasons why we eat or overeat apart from the nourishment that we actually need.
Realising how much is on offer if we are open to feel and receive is amazing and hard to fathom and yet this explains why we have such behaviour as overeating or eating the wrong foods which are supportive etc. to not want to accept this.
‘To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.’ – what a gorgeous way to live, filling ourselves with the love that we are and just using food for fuel, as opposed to a form of medication so we can’t feel how amazing we truly are.
Bludgeon is such an apt word for how we abuse our bodies with food. We often think that competitions, where a massive amount of food is consumed in a short space of time, is abusive but this is only one extreme example – in the confines of our own homes, we can be equally as abusive but without anyone looking at us.
Yes what I have realised is that some foods really support my body and other foods drain me and make me feel heavy, sluggish and lethargic.
Yes food is a very accepted drug we use to medicate ourselves with but most of the time we are not even aware that we are doing this. Our food patterns are so accepted as normal in society and eating food to pick us up anytime during the day is one of these normal things. Even the whole mention that we need 5 food moments in the day is not true because for energy we do not really need 5 times to eat something per se. So it is great to look at why we feel like a pick up in the day or a ‘taking the edge of’ moment in the day.
It’s not just the food that cops it, but our body and heart. It’s not just the consequences of what we eat but this desire to smash and deny our light. Let’s stop this bludgeoning way of life.
I allowed myself to truly feel how amazing I am with constant gentle breath meditation and the hunger that was insistent melted.
That’s really inspiring Adele. Do you find that you no longer eat to dull yourself now?
Everyone is well advised to put one´s eating habits to the test simply by giving it a moment to feel and check in if any emotional aspect is present when we have the urge to eat or drink something. It is not hard to do, we actually know instantly but need to have the honesty to admit it. That´s all; after that comes the next move based on a fresh honesty.
Food and our eating patterns are two topics that are riddled with beliefs. Beliefs about what foods are nutritious, how much food we each need to eat, which foods we need to avoid, the times that we should be eating, food as our only source of energy, the list is endless and we are bombarded by it from everywhere. These beliefs around food then come in automatically, for example I might not be hungry but I find myself eating because otherwise I might ‘run out of energy’. These beliefs are energetic bullies that get us behaving in ways that are disharmonious to our bodies. If we want to know what is harmonious for our bodies then it’s our bodies that we need to consult.
If I do bludgeon myself with food then I have learnt not to follow this with bludgeoning myself with guilt, as there’s no need to hit myself over the head twice.
Bludgeoning ourselves with guilt for overeating puts us on a roller coaster that is hard to get off.
What we eat, how much and when is so conditioned by beliefs a lot of the time, and not feeling the body. I know I’ve tried to ignore my body and listening to it, which means I miss out on this divine wisdom that brings everything I need to know in every situation.
I can relate much to what you share here Nicole, and I have been noticing lately how much I cook for distraction as well (and like you also love cooking for many other reasons as well). If there is something else to be done/felt that i dont want to do, I can often find myself – with VERY good reasons as to why – cooking up something and it is even better when I need to go to the shop to get more ingredients! Then afterwards, I can look in my freezer and there really is enough food, I did not really need to make that XYZ item. It is good to observe.
I know that when a feeling arises in me that I don’t want to feel I can dive for food in a kind of ravishing energy desperate to push it down. Likewise when I am feeling tired, run down or exhausted I can turn to food in the same way. The reality is that food cannot fix either of these feelings or situations and I simply end up abusing myself. To have a healthy relationship with food is to respect it and myself enough to only eat to nourish myself when I am truly hungry and truly need it. Anything else is pure abuse.
Food is one of the easiest, most accessible, affordable and socially acceptable ways to change the way you feel. It can pick you up with some sugar to get through the day, it can harden your heart if you are feeling vulnerable or it can take the edge of if you are looking a bit too shiny. I find there is an energy that comes in when I eat for any reason other than to nurture my body. This is when the gluttony kicks in and the eating goes on autopilot. There is absolutely no regard for my body at this time, only the drive to seek the food that I hope will satisfy, yet nothing ever does.
It has been a huge realization that what I eat, among a whole host of behaviours I engage in on a daily basis, affects the level to which I am able to feel the subtle but profound communication my body is providing about all aspects of life. This has shown how worthwhile it is to keep paying attention to the effect of my eating on me, and reflect on why I might be choosing something when I have even the slightest niggling sense that it is not okay.
Yes, Nicole, is feels important to ask ourselves how we ‘use’ food, as it is no different to any other coping mechanisms or addictive behaviours.
We have a choice in everything we do to either support us to feel all that we our and everything we offer or not – food is so instrumental in this.
It’s easy to see how food can become an obsession and people have lifelong battles with it. We often look at the people with extreme behaviours and think I’m not like that but how many of us have a healthy relationship with food?
Food and eating are one of the best justified and untouchable tools to self-medicate, the holy cow of emotional self-regulation and buffering the intensities of life. The only question is, when will we be ready to face everything that is held back by the dam of piled foods in our bodies?
Before mass-produced processed foods what did our food shops look like then? They were a place for all the basic things that are in the food we buy today; except all the chemicals, E’s and words you cannot pronounce. Not that many years ago, snacks were something you had to make at home. Is convenience food making us contenders for the Darwin award for thinning our herd? We are what we eat, even if we can’t pronounce what is in it.
I have definitely eaten food to dull my awareness of what I’m feeling it’s as though the tension in my body is so great I want to dull this somehow and food for me is the quickest way to do this. Sugar races my body and in that raciness I’m gone. Rather than just sitting and working out what it was I felt and why I don’t want to feel it.
Nicole, I love what you are sharing in this article. Last night I overate and felt really tired from this and made the choice today not to eat breakfast and to have a light lunch and this felt amazing. Not eating in the morning and going for a walk instead felt very loving and having the light lunch felt very supportive. This for me is a great marker of nourishing myself with food rather than bludgeoning myself with food.
The amount, the frequency, what and how we cook and eat all influences how we feel after consuming it and how aware we can be.
Awesome blog and I can so relate to it. I find myself going for food when I really don’t need it or want, just to dull myself and my light. I use a tiny amount of any food as comfort to not go to that next level of awareness. Not stopping to truly love myself enough.
It is so awesome you open up this much needed conversation Nicole as this is a problem not just for you but for most of humanity. We simply eat way way too much as a race of beings. Way more than we truly need and it almost always relates to the need to dull our sensitivity. Could we be using food to avoid feeling how truly grand we are?
I know that at times I have eaten or drunk something to bring me down because I was feeling too good and apparently not comfortable with the feeling. How mad is that? It makes no sense at all, I can understand eating to numb but eating so as not to feel good is nuts.
This is such a big conversation point as food is a very common coping mechanism we turn to because we are not being responsible during the day.
Food is medicine – good or bad.
The word bludgeon that you have used Nicole is very powerful and its something that I am going to stop and ponder on and observe further in my own life.
We have to stop looking at just the physical side of food and bring a multidimensional aspect in. There is something beyond the taste that we all get out of food. The only way to heal that relationship is to be absolutely honest about exactly what we do get out of it.
Just as is the case with every choice we make how and what we choose to cook and eat will either truly support us or it will cause us harm. We have that choice to make and in doing so we can learn about the factors which will contribute to us making such choices.
Food seems a great choice to avoid feeling sad, or lonely, but is it really? Does it fix the problem? No clearly not. Does it support healing the issues at hand? No. So there must be another way, and that is available to us in the moment we see food will not be the solution to our ills.
Thank you Nicole, I had not considered that not appreciating myself in some way may lead to unsupportive eating.
There can be a strong thought pattern around food and eating that says we are getting it right or wrong, instead of observing what’s happening and bringing understanding and self love into the process so the situation becomes a learning.
‘So the challenge begins when my body feels amazing, light, vital – and in comes the avoidance, the tension of, “Oh no! Life! I have to deal with all of this,” or “I cannot be this amazing,” – and the little voice says “Quick! Grab some food or better yet, even though you already cannot breathe after a huge meal, go back and have a second serve.” So maybe if more of us on the planet had bodies that felt amazing, light and vital it would then give others the permission to feel the same. Therefore this would be the norm and we would not go to food, alcohol or drugs so not to feel this tension in our body because we could physically see from another that to live this way actually feels pretty good. Yep definitely looking forward to the day when more of us feel amazing, light and vital ✨
“Quick! Grab some food or better yet, even though you already cannot breathe after a huge meal, go back and have a second serve.” yep this is a familiar situation and one which is crazy for the reason that it’s like being given everything you have ever wanted and then freaking out and trying to sabotage it by not feeling it anymore.
In truth we eat to support , nurture and nourish us so we can stay connected to the universe and be aware of everything. We use food to dull, distract, reward, stimulate, dampen and disconnect us.
To feel and then live how amazing we are comes with great responsibility, and responsibility is the part I resist the most.
I feel so much lighter and vital in my body when I eat what my body needs rather than what my tastebuds are asking for and if I dismiss my body for too long I really start to crave foods that will nourish me.
My estimate is that most of us do use it both for nourishment and to bludgeon ourselves, with the quantities of each and the ratio between the two varying but it may be quite difficult to only nourish. Perhaps some people manage?
I get the old Jiminy Cricket, or the devil on one shoulder like in the cartoons whispering in my ear still constantly when things are not going so smoothly so this is when I know there are issues to look at.
Totally I am all out leaving the good and bad out – food can make me feel good or bad though that’s the experiment and where honesty is the key. Love love love is the biggest needed ingredient.
That is it Doug it really becomes abusive rather than simply nourishing, when I am really feeling great cooking and eating is a joy – it really doesn’t happen often but I have had the experience so I know it can be lived.
There is no difference between food and alcohol, especially sugar I get a hangover EXACTLY the same as a alcohol hangover same shrunken head feeling same side eyes same funny tummy – there is no difference.
“As soon as I even attempt to avoid something or not appreciate anything, in comes the voice, a Jiminy Cricket you could say, chanting, “Go on, eat it!”” Bang on Nicole, wanting to go for food (even when you know you can’t be hungry) is a dead giveaway that I’m avoiding something and wanting to keep the comfy status quo.
Yes I am laughing at the recognition of – yeap I do that – I do that all the time when feeling good and really loving my life I have an inbuilt sabotage mode.
Thank you, Elizabeth. An invitation to review what leads to my arrival at the fridge door. I get that it is incremental dismissals of my worth and value, taking me back to a time in my life when I felt I had to earn the space I took up on earth. This is not a joyful or healthy place to be. I always have a choice though. Do I at that moment go to cover up the hurt (food as a temporary relief) or do I do something that builds back my sense of worth, purpose and place in life?
The shift from thinking we have satiated hunger when a feeling in our body goes away after we eat, to realising that we have just temporarily silenced our bodies communication is a significant one. I still abuse the first technique and am inspired by articles and comments such as these to explore what lies behind these behaviours and choices.
Yes, I agree, Fiona, there is already way too much criticism and self-judgement around in our relationships with food. Letting ourselves explore what lies behind our choices without a voice of critique, supports us to go for a deeper exploration.
Brilliant, uncomfortable, exposing and with a generous helping of honesty, this article is inviting me to stop dallying around those nitty gritty questions around my relationship with food. I do have to be very careful though not to use this exploration as another way to self-criticise; an extra opportunity to bring understanding and respect to my relationship with myself.
Thank you for linking those two words together in this context Matilda; understanding and respect – something we more likely it seems, have grown up to offer others, more commonly than ourselves.
Ah very good point Matilda it cannot be a reason to self.bash, staying willing, open and curious is the way forward and deeply loving.
Food can waste so much time! There is a difference between preparing and eating a delicious and nourishing meal, especially with others, and being in the momentum of having to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and be forever on the go with shopping, thinking about, preparing, eating and clearing up a meal. It can become such a treadmill and take so much energy. I can feel how my body is groaning with the thought of it, and it is a very good message for myself, as I do just that. In the times when I don’t but choose the opportunity to refine and discern what is needed there is so much space in the day — and my body!
Yes, Nicole, after an amazing day I can feel the temptation to dull myself with food rather than integrate a new level of awareness and expansion…this is something I am really looking at so thank you for your sharing and inspiration.
We think eating what we like is self love but it’s not if it is not nourishing – it’s abuse.
At work I have noticed how snack food is the acceptable midday alcohol – whilst cracking open the vodka would be frowned upon, we can crack open the chocolate and biscuits because they also provide the little sugar hit, the comforting taste, the reward and the dulling of any tension from the day.
It is amazing that we can label our experience erroneously and then formulate a belief founded on that label. I had a similar story with hunger that for years I would feel a bit queezy and irritable and food would put an end to that, so I though those are my signs of hunger…. until one day at lunch time during a workshop where a lot was being exposed for me, I had the same symptoms and food did not make any difference regardless of how much I ate.
Then a short while later, I was so engrossed in an activity and enjoying it that I forgot about eating for most of the day, which was unheard of for me at the time.
Since then I too have learned that just because eating numbs us to an experience it does not mean that experience was hunger.
This afternoon I felt tired and hungry and rather than opt for eating something I felt to rest. I fell into a deep sleep for a couple of hours and when I woke that feeling of hunger had completely dissipated.
There are times when I don’t feel like having more to eat, I stop when I am satisfied and I know in those times I have been very present in my body during the day and even the day before.
Well done! Very well done.
Nicole, this article is great. It really highlights how much and why I overeat and brings more awareness and honesty to this. It also inspires me to not go into auto mode when eating, but to really notice how it feels when I overeat and to make a different choice and see how this feels.
Rebecca I know that auto mode so well, its really inspiring to see another way and to give myself the option not to go into automode.
On top of the food that we eat at mealtime, there are the items we eat in-between, the sweets, the snacks, the pastilles to keep us awake, everything. Here the non-nourishing reasons for us to eat may be even more obvious.
We actually need to eat a lot less food than we think we do and certainly not all day long as has become the habit for many. Life becomes much lighter as do we when we eat less. Think of all that time and money we spend buying food and eating it not to mention the heaviness that often follows.
It would be interesting to do a study on the percentage of supermarket products that are there to nourish vs. those that provide comfort and relief.
The word ‘bludgeon’ is very apt when you consider how delicate our bodies truly are, the fine chemical equilibrium is constantly balancing and the way we stuff ourselves with food to deliberately numb its sensory effectiveness.
Filling our bodies with appreciation is the source from which we can then make more loving choices with the foods we eat.
Why is food such a touchy subject, why is it that eating and stuffying ourselves silly is so accepted? Why do we, with the knowledge that we have about the body and how it works continue to over eat or feed ourselves things that just totally affect our health?
All important questions, Rosie. The one I find particularly significant is why we accept and therefore normalise very wayward choices that are obviously in conflict with what supports our bodies and health.
It’s interesting that along with overeating, comes under eating and yo-yo diets. By not eating we are being equally manipulative around food and trying to compensate for over doing it, instead of honouring the body, feeling what’s needed and eating for true nourishment… so much stuff gets in the way of allowing an honouring way to be normal around food.
Since i was a child the whole architecture of peoples living space has changed to incorporate the open plan kitchen, a focal point from which food is prepared and eaten.
In developed countries today food is a mega industry, its fashionable, sociable and the production and choice is off the scale.
I often buy more than i need in the supermarket and prepare more than my body actually needs.
If we are seeking relief then what an abundant playground we have created.
The fact that there are very few people living in a way that is lovingly embracing, claiming and sharing the Amazingness that we are, we tend to use the get out of jail free card because no one else is doing and it’s just too hard. We don’t want to take responsibility for our choice, yet are prepared to feel rubbish in the process physically, emotionally and mentally.
Thanks, Nicole. Since reading this blog I too have been taking a closer look at the ‘how’ ‘why’ ‘what’ ‘when’ of eating, and it feels good to be more honest about how I use food, without judgement, but with a greater understanding of what is occurring within me that makes me seek food for relief.
Beautifully shared Nicole, the comfort and numbing of food is so acceptable in society and our lives and is something we do not like to feel and our first go to behaviour to not feel all we do and also to indulge in our emotions. You bring a simplicity and knowingness to what we don’t like to see that would in reality change our lives and bring our presence , responsibility and love to a new and ever highlighting expansion.
If I am honest I cannot remember the last time I was actually genuinely hungry before I ate and this is because I rarely let myself get to that point due to snacking during the day. What I have clocked though is how little food I actually need and that most of what goes into my mouth is not used to nourish but used to numb. Even though my diet has changed enormously and would be considered to be healthy, there’s always more to observe and to learn from.
Why do we eat when we are not hungry? There are so many reasons for this that we are aware of and yet we still do it. We need food to live, so we can’t just stop eating. We have an opportunity here to develop a relationship with ourselves and food that is more responsible and honest. We cannot avoid it, so we may as well engage with this and grow from it.
‘it is what and how we feel about ourselves that matters most.’ Just asking ourselves how we feel before we reach for that jar in the cupboard or box in the fridge can stop us opening it when we really are not hungry but feeling in need.
I agree Ariana, gorgeous indeed and thank you for highlighting it.
Food is definitely bringing a controlling interest over every aspect of our society, especially those who choose to eat in a certain controlling way that makes them feel they are achieving a result or a result driven diet. Food is to nurture our body, and in doing so we can deepen our awareness of what specific foods are doing to our bodies. So if increased awareness is a key would we take on a food that automatically dulls us so we go into negative thoughts? Then from a place of negativity we can either go into gorging our-self so we bloat, plus and or use other distracting way of living, which delineates our awareness. Could it be possible this is why the rates of life-style-illnesses and diseases are causing so many deaths? If so, which it is, what is it about death that we do not want to see or feel? Could it be that one of the processes of death or passing-over can be a way to expand our awareness so we come back clear of these ideals about what food is all about, and how death can be a blessing or a curse!!
It is a great question ask ourselves why we are eating this or that because if the questions are not being asked we can find ourselves on the march munching what ever we like without question, rhyme nor reason. We are the only species that over indulges but if we start asking why and be honest in our replies we can no longer remain in the ignorance of our ways.
To nourish or to bludgeon .. the title says it all in how we can use food. And currently I would say the majority of us on the planet .. actually pretty much all at some stage use the latter. This is constantly a learning process for me but my learning is instead of making it about food to make it about, or start to feel more, the energy I am in or feeling before I reach for that food to bludgeon.
Yes, even altering the quantity can make very nourishing food into a bludgeoning tool.
We can certainly abuse food and use it in so many different ways that are not nourishing. We use it to hide and then blame the food when really, food is the end result of so many choices before it.
Beautiful, bringing back the question why? And so, it reveals that we seemingly choose different than we initialy often feel, great example; being full, but serving yourself another plate. What do we override when we do ? And why?
Food is never the issue. It is how we use it and why that is the real issue here.
This is exactly what I have just said in a comment .. but you have expressed it a lot simpler than me!
Very true Joshua, we can blame food yet it is simply the end consequence or result of the way we have been living.
“food has it covered: it is so often our go to, all rounder, good-for-every-occasion best friend and companion. Not to mention conversation piece.” So true Nicole to the point that some nations hold it as a go-to subject, a bit like the Brits and weather. It is a one size fits all, as it can be used in a multitude of ways to stem and sooth whatever is arising. I’m discovering that the ‘food reactions’ are deeply rooted and this changes our physiology, our bodies and the quality of light we ourselves live and with others.
I think if we’re all really honest we use or have used food to bludgeon or stop what we feel, I know often when I feel a massive amount of tension it’s like I keep eating until I can’t feel anymore. The problem is not the tension, there’s always going to be tension and things we see and feel that we don’t like, but perhaps the question is – could there be a better way of handling the tension we feel in life on a day to day basis?
Great question Meg and I have felt this too, more and more recently. I can’t help feeling the answer lies in allowing a deeper to surrender to feel and respond to all that we feel.
I agree there sure are better ways. For me being open with what I am feeling and talking about it is a great start as then the tension does not have such a seemingly strong hold over me. The more I keep things to myself the more I can feel things bubbling up inside waiting for an avenue of escape.
Super important point Meg, the tension is always going to be there, this understanding can totally change the way we react, when we find ourselves diving for something we know full well is going to dull, numb or stimulate. This understanding gives us more space to look at why we are choosing to deal with what we don’t want to feel, and what it is we don’t want to feel.
It is so great to have these discussions about our eating habits, taking responsibility for the way we live and the choices we make that end up with us standing at the fridge seeking relief from our day.
Janet this is so funny to me as I realise ‘I love my larder’, it’s a lovely cupboard with ancient oak doors and a little delicate latch and lined with shelves, organised and ordered – and I love to stand there and open the 2 tall, slim doors… but maybe it’s not only these things that I enjoy about it – there is also that element of go-to for relief!
I thought it was just me who wanted to find out why I have such a troublesome time with food.
Thanks for the information..
It’s great that you’ve brought up the cycle we get into of overeating, feeling horrendous in our body, wanting to diet or fast for a week/month, possibly doing this for a short period before we hit the fridge or cupboard again for another ‘outburst’. I had an experience of this recently, but actually stopped and asked myself WHY I was abusing myself. We get so caught up in the regret that we forget to look at why it happened in the first place, which may expose a pattern that we can then change sustainably going forward.
“I am understanding that it does not matter what anyone else thinks of us; it is what and how we feel about ourselves that matters most” – beautiful Nicole, true, and the more we understand [this] the more we accept, and the more we can just let go, to let it all go and be where we are at in life, with others and with ourselves too.
Love will always be what it is. What happens to the food we put into our bodies after we extract what is needed? Is it not the same word we often use to name what we eat when numbing ourselves?
When you put it like that there really is little difference between food and alcohol, the aftermath in my body feels just the same.
Nicole, this is such a great question and says it all; ‘To Nourish or Bludgeon – How do we Use Food?’ I can feel that before eating or continuing to eat that this is a great question to ask ourselves.
Observing myself, when I get that craving to eat and I know my body doesn’t need or want it, it’s like something takes over. I know that I need to stop, but there is an inner drive and arrogance that doesn’t care or want to take notice. It’s quite incredible to feel the force that I allow and to what I actually agree to.
Food is such a touchy subject- perhaps because so many of us use it to not feel, full stop. But the trouble with not feeling what we don’t want to feel, is we end up not feeling how amazing we are and I certainly get drawn down into a cycle of eating to not feel the fact I don’t feel great. It takes me picking myself up and asking myself what it was I was avoiding and doing so lovingly.
I always know and can feel the difference between being hungry because i need food for my day and my body wants nourishment, and the hunger of boredom or tension or anxiety. I know also when I eat food I know will support me, and when I eat food I know will not, but it all comes down to how honest I want to be with myself about what I am eating because once i get honest i feel the pull to change.
Hi Nicole, I love this blog! I often cook and over eat to not feel how awesome I am feeling, and recently at a party I totally indulged, I ate and ate and ate and then I ate some more. The next day I could hardly function. I had a food hang over and my thoughts and even my vision were compromised. Then later that day came the toxic headache and now 3 days later and I am finally getting over my rampage. It is interesting as it has been a long time since I went this far and to be honest, it reminds me of years ago when I would drink too much alcohol and feel like death for a few days. A good friend of mine reminded me of a situation that I have experienced with a loved one the day before the eating frenzy and now I was able to add it all up and see why I had gone overboard. Once upon a time I would use alcohol and cigarettes to numb myself and not feel, now I do the same with food at times.
Great observation Rosie and I love your honesty. I was talking to someone who just recently came out of rehab and he was sharing with everyone how addictive alcohol and drugs are. Not far into our conversation we both agreed that food can also be very addictive and that we can eat in a way that can make us feel absolutely awful.
Awesome Nicole, I love reading your blog. Everything you’ve shared is so relatable. I too want to look at my relationship with food in more detail and depth. How I eat, what I eat, when and the quantity I eat affects me in so many ways. What you’ve shared is gold and is going to support me to address some unloving habits that have been very difficult for me to shift. Thank you for sharing so openly, honestly and with such love and appreciation.
I had a bit of a realisation today with food. I eat super healthily and avoid things that I know my body does not like, but I was still feeling heavy after meals and waking up with the same heaviness. Then through the day my body would feel lighter again but the cycle would repeat at the next evening meal. What I realised today was that at mealtimes I was still going into self, that this was ‘me time’ and that I deserved to eat my fill after a busy day. I was therefore leaving the beautiful quality I had built through the day by being open-hearted and connected with everyone I met, and dropping into a lower vibration that was in stark contrast to the amazing day I had.
This is such a good point Janet. When we eat we are usually in self. It’s like a reward. But if the true reason to eat is to nourish us in order to be able to serve in this world, then there can be no self when we eat as it is for the all.
I am observing more and more how I am chronically overeating. Not that I am eating like a crazy person but it is always just that little bit..and at times big bit… too much. I actually more often now clock when my body gives the signal ‘this is just right’. At this point I am still feeling light and vital. It is as if I am addicted to feeling the heaviness of being ‘loaded up’ with food and so I’ll eat just that extra bit that will get me to that feeling. It is a settling in comfort, away from the tension of feeling light and vital.
And so really it is the heaviness that we are hooked on not really the act of over eating, the over eating is just the means to the end.
Nicole, the subject of food is a huge one. I can feel that there is so much involved in why we choose certain foods, whether they are dulling foods, stimulating, comforting, the list could go on. I know for me my thing is overeating and this is something that feels important to look at and to be honest as to why I overeat and what I am trying to avoid feeling.
I love how you are bringing much honesty into your relationship with food. I have come a long way from thinking that comfort eating was a form of loving myself, but yes – there’s lots more to be uncovered.
Yes same for me Fumiyo. Nicole’s blog is inspiring me to really look at what is driving me to comfort eat instead of listening to my body.
If you want to apply logic to our eating choices, you will see that frequently it simply does not make sense.
I recall an extreme example when in my school days I was staying with a friend at Christmas. We had eaten loads. Christmas dinner, pudding; the full works. I was beyond full and could barely move. Then my favourite pudding was wheeled into the room as a surprise gift and I chose to have not just 1 but 2 helpings, because my mouth liked the taste and my brain wanted to make the most of the occasion! But all along my stomach was yelling that there is no room. In fact afterwards my stomach was in so much pain I wished I could throw everything all up!!
What is it about our lack of logic and reasoning when it comes to food? As far as I am concerned this alone is evidence that there is more going on with thinking, and our decision making, than meets the eye.
The truth about food and how we misuse it is a topic that is often difficult to bring up. During coaching people rather stay in their pattern of feeling miserable than to change anything in the way of what they eat. I keep experimenting and I can see how much it reflects of where I am really at with myself and how willing I am to keep choosing awareness.
The more we choose to honour the body we have, the more we want to care for it deeply. This, for myself is the trigger to steadily look at my food choices. Yes at times I ignore what I feel, I take longer than is needed to actually implement the change my body is clearly stating it needs, but ultimately, I do make the adjustment as my body becomes too uncomfortable for me not to.
Great article. There is so much to learn about the ‘how, why, what and when’ of eating. What comes to my mind are the many behaviors chosen around food. The eat whatever I want person, the health conscious person that stays strictly with a particular diet, the vegetarian person, the meat and three vege person, etc. Whilst all of these choices are made from a mindset, not from a choice to feel what our particular body needs to nourish, sustain and support it.
I have a feeling that most of us, if not all, have some kind of issue with food and yet when we look at it in the way you have approached it here Nicole, it is clear that our issue is not with food at all, it is with how connected we are prepared to be to ourselves so that we can live in a way that easily deals with whatever life presents without having to reach out for something to fill the emptiness or to avoid feeling.
My relationship with food has undergone a huge transformation recently as I have been unwell. I’ve noticed that many of the foods that my body can tolerate are the foods that I know dull me yet they do not dull me as much right now. It’s been a huge blessing as I have had to let go of many of the ideals and beliefs I’ve taken on around food. My illness has made me listen to my body first and foremost as this is serving me far better than any ideal diet.
Well said – when we can be totally honest, our body is the best marker for what is true for us. And at the end of the day, the food we eat is the final step on a long path that lead us to eating that food. If we focus on the moment when we eat a whole cake or chocolate bar and obsess over not doing that and restricting our diet to what we think is ‘okay’ we are totally missing what it was that made us get to the point of eating those things, and that energy can remain a part of our lives, just played our differently and perhaps more difficult to notice when we simply control the food we eat and don’t deal with why we are eating it. I would rather have an honest moment of eating a biscuit and having it be a stop moment when i realise I’m in a lot of tension thats built and i haven’t stopped and its lead me to reach for something to dull me down, then stop myself eating the food out of control, and the tension plays out some other way
Food should never heighten your energy state. It should confirm and support you to move forward with everything that is on offer. The moment food is any kind of highlight, we are caught in a measured way of light, that includes ups and downs, instead of consistency.
I was in a country recently where the portions of food were huge; I felt at the time that there must be so much wastage that could go to feed other people. It seems daft to me that we have countries that have been hit by famine and cannot support themselves and we have countries that have so much food the population is becoming over weight and ill. I wonder if we will ever have the fortitude to balance this inadequacy out.
‘…why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.’ This would indeed fill the empty hole we try and fill up with food.
Beautyfull and such a great reminder. I think I will write that on my nut-container 🙂
This part you’ve highlighted is pure gold Rachel. It is amazing, why would we choose to fill our bodies up with just food which can feel dense and heavy when we can fill it up with love and appreciation as well? This is a light bulb moment for me when I read this. Food is a source of fuel for our body but there are many other properties and factors that can also fuel our body. So, when we only rely on one source of fuel for our body, doesn’t this then limit us and, perhaps also limits how much potential we have to maximise and access the amazingness and intelligence of our body and therefore limit our connect to who we truly are?
All addictions are a form of slavery, we enslave (chain) ourselves to beliefs about a substance convinced we need it. A drug addict when asked how he felt after he took a new drug on the street said ” calm, it takes the pain away.” And we are no different: we overeat, compulsively snack or eat empty foods as a defense against the emptiness we feel. The highs however are temporary With absolute honesty we can instead feel what needs to felt and deal with that.
I am finding how incredibly obvious it is to reach for a snack when I am presented with something that is going on around me. It can be as simple as not responding to be of my children that I will distract myself by taking myself away from the situation and go to the pantry! Taking responsibility and committing to myself is key in every moment so it is worth asking ‘what am I avoiding in those moments?’… the answer – Connection!
I am finding it amazing that we can now realise and feel these moments of non-connection. It has always been a choice… we have just forgotten.
How often do we eat during the day but feel beforehand that we are not actually hungry but eat anyway?
Immediately after eating the body communicates with us and everything we eat elicits a different response, sometimes light, sparkling, vital and other times heavy, bloated, sleepy. The depth of love we have for ourselves expressed in our choice of food: do we nourish or intoxicate?
Thank you Nicole, it is brilliant to start an honest conversation about our different relationships with food, as this will be revealing for each person in how we all respond or react to the world and to ourselves and our own development.
The picture at the top if this article speaks a thousand words! How many of us have found ourselves diving into food in this energy. It’s painful to look at and admit, but we have all done it. It’s greed and need versus true nourishment and respect for the body.
A great reminder of how important it is to be aware of what, how and when we eat. It is something we can so easily avoid doing as food is such a comfort agent in so many ways.
When we over eat, are we deploying a sea anchor that is not seen by others but slowing us down from moving forward?
Yes a great analogy Steve, this is how it feels for sure.
I agree Steve. Also, I notice when I overeat, I feel awful and it makes me feel disconnected, heavy and easily react to people. Even though I feel this way, on some level I am still not willing to change this old pattern. It is awesome to be aware of how it makes me feel, to be really honest with myself and observe what goes on instead of being critical. If I try to stop this habit mentally then I am sure it will just reoccur again and agin. So, I am going to observe and be absolutely honest with myself and listen to what my body is telling me and see what happens.
Many of us can eat when we’re not hungry though the emptiness of what we’re feeling is making us (creating us) to have hunger ‘pangs’ and gurgles so we think we must eat. We use it as a sign to eat. Funny to ask ourselves in this instance is my body really hungry, or is it the emotion’s tug of wanting to suppress??
This is a great question ‘Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are?’ and something that I currently still do at times (more often than not!). I guess the question to ask is also why on earth do we NOT want to feel and what is it that we do not want to feel. For each person it might be something different, superficially, but ultimately I feel we do not want to feel that we are currently not living our truth.
“Food and alcohol, – are they really any different, or is it that we see food as a necessity and therefore dare not question it?” Wow Nicole that is an interesting and also an very uncomfortable question! The next thing that came into my mind after reading your awesome blog was to have a little snack. So it is really time to get a deeper understanding about this cravings around food. Thank you for putting your finger on it.
I love your honesty Ester. I find I tend to have more food cravings when I am not working very hard because on busy and full days, I tend to focus less on food and more on my work. Also I notice on days where I am feeling fiery, connected to my essence and to people around me, I feel full. It is a fullness that leaves me free of food cravings.
Like the photo for this blog – there is something cheeky and dishonest about how we are with food – and also life. It’s not about being ‘good’ but just being clear that there is something inside us that totally fights Love. We should not be surprised when we find ourselves at the metaphorical fridge door – just understand and come back to who we truly are.
Building a body of love is eating to nourish rather than dull or stimulate so we cannot feel what is happening around us.
This is the key Jennym, what you’ve shared is so simple and it is through building a body of love that will free us from any form of addiction or cravings. We only experience cravings once we disconnect from who we are and have settled for a lesser vibration and have allowed a lesser form of energy to run us.
I have always felt the addictive nature of food. It is easy with something like alcohol because you can simply choose to not drink at all – totally stop and then the cravings go. It is much harder with food because we need to eat and can’t just stop so it is always in our face (pun intended) and we have to look (or not) at the underlying issues of what is going on.
Nicole, you hit the nail on the head with ‘filling ourselves with love and appreciation’. It’s not about not eating but as the title says not bludgeoning (great word) ourselves with food or at least being prepared to look at how, and why we eat. Absolute honesty is required here, for us to get underneath on eating behaviours. But this needs to be done with great love and care for ourselves.
Thanks Nicole this bursts a huge bubble for me – and exposes the fact that I don’t even want to look at why I eat what I do. I am so resistant to giving up my comfort of food, that I will find any excuse not to look at what I am eating, even though I absolutely know that the food I am eating is not loving. This has started to expose for me where I am at and what I could be trying not to feel.
Yes I agree Richard, in the past I used to eat in a way that I knew was harmful and tried really hard to control that, but couldn’t and that made me feel even worse and set up a vicious cycle. It was only through connecting to love that my food choices started to naturally change as I didn’t want to poison myself of the yumminess I was starting to feel in my body.
Sometimes I can get a bit affected by a difficult phone call or conversation and have the urge to eat. In those situations in the past I would east to numb the bad feeling which actually perpetuated and buried it. These days more often than not I will take a few moments to reconnect and that is much, much more supportive and works!
Nicole another cracking article, I love the deeper wisdom you share here, this was perfect timing for me as I have just cooked for friends and now sitting on the sofa very full up after having had 3 extra portions. During cooking I started snacking on the food and before I knew it I had already eaten too much even before the meal was served!
Learning to read what is truly going on and accept myself is a forever ongoing process – one that I am gratefully open to. Blogs like these are the bomb as they lovingly ask us to go there.
Food and exercise are both insidious forms of addiction. The former because we need it to survive and the latter, when practiced appropriately, is beneficial for health but both can be means to numb ourselves from feeling responsibilities that are challenging and/or painful to face.
We certainly eat for all sorts of reasons and very few for most has to do with true hunger. Sometimes if I am feeling tired I eat something I don’t need when simply taking a 5 minute break would be a lot more supportive and nourishing for my body.
I could very much relate to this blog. I found it very useful that over eating was brought down to two As. We either want to avoid feeling something or we don’t appreciate what we are feeling. I have felt the similarity between my eating patterns and with the way I used to drink alcohol. This supports my understanding that it’s not so much what you eat, as the energy behind what you eat is that harms or heals us.
Because with food you have the excuse of: I need energy or I need to eat to survive. With alcohol you would not be able to state that. That´s why it stand out as an addiction quicker. The survival reasons give the absolution to continue consuming foods whatever you like, as your body might “need it”.
Well said Stefanie, we are rarely so open as to exclaim ‘I need my food and I’m addicted to what it gives me’. There is also absolution in using the classic ‘all in moderation’ and ‘I need my carbs and my dairy’ etc. We think we are on top of it all but if we stepped back, many of us would see we are mere puppets to the thinking we have been given to hold on to when it comes to how we eat, what we eat and what our body actually needs. The food pyramid is a classic example of this thinking.
Food is such a huge reflection of how I am and what I accept, or don´t want to feel, spoil etc.. Everyday it is a new marker and I love to experiment with it. It is amazing how sensitive our body reacts to food, if you are open to listen to it.
We use and abuse food in all sorts of ways to not feel stuff – and under-eating can be just as damaging as overeating. When we under eat, we can end up racy, anxious, and just as disconnected from our bodies as when we overeat. So it really is a fine balance, and a finely tuned science that is always changing, as our bodies change, and as we learn to listen to what and how much really supports us, and when.
I love feeling light and aware in my body. That is what has most influenced me with food, my level of awareness. Food is the perfect way to make me literally more heavy, so I don’t have to deal with what is on offer.
Oh my goodness food is blamed and used for a multitude of reasons and issues. While we do that we don’t get to the honesty of ‘why’ are we using it… we instead feel more comfortable with believing we need to use will power and that we just love that particular food. Whereas if we asked our body if it loves that food or how much, we would get a completely different answer.
I was really aware of this a few minutes ago when I was doing some work that was needed and I was enjoying and my mind/spirit kept thinking about food and what I could eat.. It is like constantly being pulled away from ourselves, very insidious and I definitely have not mastered this! …. Yet.
We all know we can use food in many ways and then I mean misuse food and use it as a distraction in both the ways you are sharing, not wanting to deal with issues coming up or wanting to take the edge of how amazing we feel. And it seems that with the overload of food in our society nowadays we do have a problem, do we miss ourselves that much and overeat to not feel the emptiness inside of how we are living and when we feel amazing, can I live this amongst what I see and feel in others. Definitely a topic that needs questioning.
A very real and simple understanding of why we eat what we eat, overeat, drink or anything else for that matter to avoid feeling who we are and the amazingness of that is a very different and supportive understanding that makes sense of the nonsense and brings us back to the reality of building a body of love to truly live who we are with the appreciation of this.
“I am simply suggesting that possibly we eat more than what we actually need, and that there could be an underlying reason why we eat as much as often as we do.” Hit the nail on the head here, I think so many of us overeat for various reasons and talking to colleagues in the office its often because we feel upset or don’t want to feel how hurt we are by something that is going on for us.
“Do we avoid ourselves so much that filling ourselves up with food is a better option than allowing ourselves to truly feel just how amazing we are? ” It sounds absurd but is very true. The fullness of feeling amazing can not be replaced by any food. And once we’re full with appreciation and amazingness, we don’t need much food!! Beautifully presented. Thank you for sharing!
It is an interesting fact that as the potential for humanity being deeply aware has been going up, so has our propensity to eat in a manner that disrupts the fine-tuned vehicle we are in which dulls our connection to that awareness.
This is not by any means limited to food, but since this is an area where we have very ingrained beliefs, not to mention the ideas and beliefs frequently pushed by multi-million dollar industries to justify their profit-driven agendas, this is great invitation to start an honest look based on observing and reflecting on our own personal experience.
Great point Golnaz we not only stuff ourselves with food but also with thoughts, music and all sort of other things that we consume.
Great article Nicole. I know that my mother used cooking as her escape and her refuge and of course the end result brought forth attention and gratitude, appreciation and even fame as the reputation of her creative genius spread through the community. It was also a way to keep my Dad happy and us children too. There would be no arguments if we all were satiated with our favourite comfort. Now I can see how discontent and frustration were born in us as a subsequent reaction and were some of these emotions what my mother wanted to quell in the first place? I soon learned to use food to alter my moods and energy levels and sought similar identification through food just as my mother had although I was not aware of it at the time. As human beings our bodies require us to eat in order to function, or at least that is what appears to be true and from my own body experience I would say that this is true for me right now. How awesome it is though to bring our awareness to our eating habits and our whole relationship with food and to see how much we influence others in this regard.
Reading this makes me wonder, If “everything is energy” then when not full from food, feeling light and amazing – could I allow myself to feel and be ok with that fullness rather than the dull and heavy fullness?
This is a massive massive topic Nicole, yet despite its hugeness, it is still only one mere aspect of life and dare I say it, is only the symptom of how we are in the rest of life. I know I have experienced the snacking-hunger-machine-monster inside of me at times wanting to gorge and numb myself, yet I have had many times when I have felt such a deep level of connect within myself that the food is not the focus at all and in fact is something I do not crave or seek.
if we look at the big picture, our dependency on food, beyond survival, is often cultivated from childhood by parents and family members to coax, placate, reward, please, manipulate and seek recognition. In the 1960’s there was never the addiction to food we now have. Firstly, we didn’t have the money and secondly, there wasn’t the range of foods we have now and people were generally satisfied with what they had. Over the past fifty years this relatively simple existence was overlaid with people earning higher salaries and food relentlessly marketed and sold in almost every retail outlet. We can have and buy food when-ever we want and wherever we are. No surprise that today our addiction to food has reach catastrophic levels, causing serious health problems and overloading our health services Yes, there is individual responsibility through our individual choices, but there is also corporate responsibility: food producers, manufacturers and retailers putting people’s health and well-being at the heart of their business model and before profits.
Food has so many roles these days – a filler, to ward off boredom (just think about those cruises and their endless buffets), to avoid feeling something, anything, whether good or bad. It is a reward and it is protection against the world. No wonder we have an obesity problem.
I agree, no wonder we have a obesity problem in our world today. Food seems to be the one thing that works best to either dull, fill or stimulate us. Better than buying clothes at the moment. If you look at our streets you can see that as well. Heaps of places to eat and drink something on locations where there used to be clothing shops.
Its amazing how you can be super full, and still crave dessert! Filling up the corners is an expression I find interesting, using things like cheese, biscuits, ice-cream and cake to fill out any gaps left by the large meal you just ate so there is no room in your body to feel anything but the food you just ate.
“Comfort food” is just one of the common phrases we have that shows we are all too aware of the effect food has on our bodies.
Thank you Nicole for continuing this conversation. My diet is simple and nourishing and kitchen cupboards and fridge contain very few items: fresh green vegetables, fish, lamb, herbal teas, spices, herbs salads and cooking oils. And yet, despite all this, I still have a reluctance to fully let go of the pull to put something in my mouth between meals instead surrendering to the exquisite lightness in my body. When I choose, for example, to eat a handful of nuts when not hungry, I’m dulling myself rather than allowing for expansion. My resistance to fully embrace love reflects back at me: each choice made is an invitation to either enter the same cycle or transcend it. Your blog invites us to explore why we knowingly make these choices and reminds us that there is no half-way: we either make loving choices or unloving ones and is a continual work in progress. Important not to be hard on ourselves.
In a way, it is never about the food. As you say Nicole it’s more about our resistance to accept how amazing and glorious we are and making that our normal.
Even just recognising what our relationship to food is like, is a great start to making changes so that it is a nourishing part of our lives rather than an abusive one. The longer we ignore, avoid or pretend that we can do ‘whatever’ with what we eat and with our body, the more the effects of self-abuse can set in.
A humorous take on the serious topic of food Nicole, you make it so relatable, real and also simple – the love of ourselves closes the gap of unnecessariness whether that’s the over consumption of food or anything else.
I always enjoy what you write about Nicole, you take the everyday ‘normal’ things in our life and look at the ‘normal’ we are doing them in. Is our consumption of alcohol really so different to how we use food? I like this question and it opens up our view that everything we do is there for a reason and that the main question is, is that what we do, whatever it is, truly supporting us in our well-being and vitality and thus our strength to contribute to the world wherever we are needed or are we getting by and just want to enjoy the ride but with that dragging our bodies along with exhaustion and ups and downs as a normal?
Yes, why do we? I stopped beating myself up for overeating but it didn’t stop me doing it. You are right, we do it to avoid feeling what’s truly going on, either the tension in our bodies from not living our full light or when we have moments of awesomeness we can’t accept our amazingness and dull ourselves back down to avoid jealousy or some other reaction.
Food is definitely my, ‘comforting agent’, my go to when I don’t want to feel what is there to feel. So rather than dealing with the feeling ,I numb it… only to have to come back and deal with it later … daft isn’t it? Much better to deal with the feeling first and keep by body well!
How interesting is that when we are engaged in an activity that needs doing, we don’t hear that little voice to eat, just to eat. It was like quitting smoking, for the longest time my hand wanted a cigarette, not the body. When the mind is in charge, does it turn off all the sensors from the body and then what is driving its actions?
There can be a lot of unsupportive voices and choices around food. It can seem very complicated and very dramatic – as though there is a driving force that is unstoppable and we just have to feel up to stop that feeling. But it is actually very simple – that we don’t want to feel something. We are feeling all of the time and often there is a lot going on. It is very worth giving ourselves the time to feel, express and talk about how we are feeling about things, and to accept that we are sensitive and always feeling.
Yes indeed, Nicole. We use food as a coping mechanism to avoid intolerable feelings just like alcohol or drugs. And as you say, we may also not want to feel how incredible we are, so these behaviours apply to both ends of the spectrum.
I have definitely noticed the pattern of over-eating even though I know I am full and my body is telling me I don’t need any more so thanks Nicole for shedding some further light on why this could be happening.
When we begin to see the world from an esoteric perspective and understand that everything is energy and that there are only two sources of energy: prana and Fire, then we begin to become much more aware of what is exactly at play in regard to us and food. Fire is the light of our Soul. It is pure divinity and doesn’t need physicality to exist, although while we are incarnated into this realm of life our evolution is to be able to express this Fire in a very human sense through our physical form.
Prana, on the other hand, while still divine, is a much lower vibration of divinity that we are dependent upon (in small doses) to exist in a physical body. Food is prana. The problem therefore is one of proportion. We only need a very small about of prana to survive, especially if we are accessing the Soul’s love and light (Fire). However, we have become prana addicted and consume way more of this then we need to because there is a certain heaviness and denseness we feel when we are in this state and this keeps us feeling identified as being ‘only human’ and thus able to ignore our incredible energetic responsibility when we accept, appreciate and know that the ‘human bit’ is only one small aspect of ourselves and we all in-truth multidimensional beings living in and through a physical form. Thus the need for us to dope ourselves up on prana so we keep feeling ‘heavy’ and can escape what we are being called to be from our deepest and inner-most self . We do not have an issue with food. We have an issue with awareness and the responsibility that comes with this awareness.
Thank you Liane. To understand that we actually do not have an issue with food is an extraordinary exposure of holding back on responsibility and awareness of what is being called for – to live from our innermost essence and reflect this to others.
“Thus the need for us to dope ourselves up on prana so we keep feeling ‘heavy’ and can escape what we are being called to be from our deepest and inner-most self . We do not have an issue with food. We have an issue with awareness and the responsibility that comes with this awareness”.
Nicole, you are spot on here; ‘Yet to truly admit we have addictions with and towards food (well, there is your touchy subject!)’ Reading this article I can feel that I do have a food addiction; I often overeat and eat when I am not hungry, I eat far more than my body needs for comfort, to join in , to not feel something. So it seems that this is an addiction the same as any other. It’s great to expose this and to be really aware of why and when and how we use food.
The relationship with food is always there, even if you were a monk in an isolated mountain monastery with no possessions and just the dedication to your cause… still there would be food. And so we can play out all our habits, patterns and emotional games through this medium. As I’ve started asking the same questions, I’ve noticed just how dominant my emotional state is in terms of leading the what and how I eat whereas before I just followed the urge no question. That gives me a little space to realise what a gem this relationship can be, informing me and offering me the choice of what next….
Nicole, this is a great article. I have been pondering lately on why I so often overeat. Your article is really supportive and makes me realise what it is I am trying to avoid feeling. What you are sharing here feels like a great antidote to overeating; ‘To love, appreciate and accept ourselves in full, not needing food to fill the gap of why we do not choose to fill for ourselves first with our own love and appreciation.’
Looking back over my life I can see that snacking my way out of feeling emotions or tiredness in my body became very normal in my life at a very early age. In fact, I am sure I also had lots of encouragement to do so by those around; for example, “you seem sad – here’s a lolly to make you feel better”. Over the years I didn’t need anyone else to give me those ‘magic lollies’ that appeared to be the cure for every ill, as I began giving them to myself in many different and just as distracting forms. These days I too have begun to question the “‘how,’ ‘why,’ ‘what’ and ‘when’” of eating as without the answer the healing of the snacking will not be possible.
“could it be that we feel so amazing that we cannot handle just how awesome we are,” Fascinating that feeling amazing is what we all search for and then find the simplest and quickest way to undermine it.
I certainly eat when I am feeling amazing, not because I am hungry yet when I say this I can feel some resistance, an unwillingness to feel this truth. I can sense how I don’t want to go there so that I keep in the momentum of comfort, eating more than my body needs so that I don’t bring all of me to life.
Yes there are many tricks to eat more than we actually need. The most ridiculous one I am noticing these days is when I have over-eaten. The thought that comes in at that moment is ‘have a bit of nuts than you will feel better’. Of course this does not make any sense as having over-eaten is not a feeling you can eat away… I love your approach of really going there and looking at all the tricks and ways we use food other than for truly nourishing the body.
And love… love is the missing ingredient. When we buy, prepare and eat our food with the intention to truly nourish our bodies, it is because we are being self- loving, and the body loves us for this and communicates clearly what food has to go as we have outgrown it. Yes we outgrow food, in the same way we outgrow our shoes, wardrobes, work places and even some relationships…because we are changing all the time, and as we embrace love it becomes easier to listen to our bodies and the messages they gave us around food – and with such precision too, not only what to eat that will truly satisfy that moment but also the amount we need. This yummy feeling of satisfaction after a meal because it has hit the spot, is key to not over eating as there is no need or desire to have more, especially some sweet dessert that can be tempting for our mouths, but would only dull and numb our body.
If we understood how we consume energy – a teaspoon of anger, a dollop of sadness – a side serving of bitterness garnished with some nostalgia – then perhaps we would have more understanding for the foods we actually do choose.
Love your blogs Nicole and this one on food exposes the ways in which we use food as comfort and an indulgence. I love tasty food, I love how satisfied my body feels when my meal has hit the spot and I don’t need anything else. But then there are those times, I override and I have the extra helping that I do not need… But I feel the impact of that immediately, as I feel a little heavy and even the next day, my day does not flow as well as compared to when I do not over eat. When I eat light, my body feels light, and for me I am beginning to value this feeling and the awareness that comes from feeling light much more than the dulling down my awareness effect!
Food is needed to nurture our body but that is mostly not how I go about with food. There are so much ideals and beliefs about food such as the food triangle, fixed times to eat like breakfast, lunch and dinner, snack time and so on, coffee or tea breaks and of course there needs to be that accompanying sweet. That was what I grew up with and did adopt into my daily life rhythm but found to be not true at all.
When I live to the rhythm of my body and in adherence to what it needs, nothing of the above does hold and it is my body that tells me what and when to eat and how much. It is very clear and oh so simple and keeps me light and clear in energy. So completely different to the above scheme, where I often felt heavy and lethargic from the food i took in that my body not really was asking for but which was dictated from my mind.
That is an interesting question Nicole, “food and alcohol, – are they really any different”. To me you can say they are the same, they are both substances that we take in through our mouth and do cause our awareness to drop but because we say that food is a necessity and alcohol is for pleasure or for relaxing we make it different and are not willing to see it as the same.
I agree Nicole, there are so many distractions we can fill the gap with, food is just one of them. There is no gap when we are connected to our essence.,…. we feel so yummy that nothing else we eat or do would be yummier.
And then comes the niggle – have I really deserved to feel this yummy? Better have a snack to dampen it down a little, and then some more …
Goodness, what a big topic. I don’t think there is any dispute that food is used as a coping mechanism more often than not, yet way too often the awareness stops there. There isn’t the next stage of ‘I wonder why?’ Or just taking a moment to consider amd to create space between the thought and the action. Thank you for your blog and your call for us to question what we have taken as normal.
They are shocking figures. In Australia it is expected that 80% of the population will be overweight or obese by 2025. But we keep looking at it from solely the diet and exercise perspective. Yes they have a part to play. But beyond the ‘sugar is addictive’ line we are not stopping and asking ourselves why…what’s going on? Why are we eating this way? Why are we needing the comfort? The conversations about food are very surfaced layered and we are not yet willing to take ourselves to a deeper level of conversation to bring about a deeper level of understanding for everyone.