A little over 2000 years ago, a baby boy was born. One version of his story presents how this baby boy, in spite of his humble birth, was visited by a host of people all bearing him gifts: Wise Men, shepherds, possibly even angels. The shepherds brought lambs, the angels, their adoration and the Wise Men brought gold, frankincense and myrrh.
Perhaps a more philosophical reading of the latter gesture indicates a greater significance in its symbolic meaning – a conferring upon the baby of the potential for, or confirmation of, his own inner connection to Love, Wisdom and Divine Intelligence.
Either way we look at it, this baby boy was celebrated at his birth in a way that befits the birth of a Son of God and was feted with the qualities one would rightly assign to such a being. This baby boy later lived and shared these qualities with the world and eventually his life became the cornerstone of one of the current institutionalised religions in our world, Christianity, named after Jesus the Christ.
Notwithstanding that several interpretations have been overlaid upon the life of Jesus over the years, it can assuredly be said that his life did fulfil the promise of those ‘gifts’ conferred upon him, or confirmed as being within him at his birth.
In our current times, 353,000 babies are born each and every day, with a little over half of these babies being boys (1). Hence, there are over 176,500 baby boys born daily. This equates to over 65 million baby boys born every single year.
It is surely worth considering what physical gifts and/or qualities we bring to them. How do we welcome them into this world? What are the first imprints they receive, not just from their immediate, close family, but from all of us?
In the more affluent societies, most if not all babies are ‘showered’ with physical gifts – toys, nappies, engraved cups and spoons, greetings cards to welcome the new baby and for boys, largely blue items of clothing. These baby boys seem to ‘have it all’ when compared to their peers in less affluent countries, who are born into poverty, sickness, war and conflict. On one level they are most certainly more fortunate. However, what energy precisely comes with these packages of ‘blue’ based gifts, qualities, beliefs and expectations? In what quality of energy do we collectively welcome baby boys into this world?
Based on personal experience and observation, what I see is that from the moment the baby takes his first physical breath, the process of imprinting involves the imposition of some very weighty ideals, beliefs and pictures, which severely reduce and restrict his innate expression.
As a child is born, there is a moment of absolute grace where those present behold the new life in a genuine sense of awe and wonder.
Shortly thereafter, he is also greeted by the often heavy expectations of his immediate and extended family, who are themselves the subjects of the same societally dictated concepts about what it is to be a boy and what it is to be a man; concepts that are then projected onto the physically vulnerable, newborn baby.
The first conversations are often about the baby’s physicality. Does he have long legs? He’s going to be a runner. Is his build more stocky? A lifetime of rugby ahead for him! Does he clench his fists? Likely to be a boxer. It is not uncommon for families to drape their newborns in the colours of their favourite sporting team from the moment of birth. Others discuss and anticipate what career the child will take up later in life – will he be a carpenter, a doctor, a musician, an entrepreneur who will uphold the family name, make money, be a success? Much of this occurs as the child sleeps and ostensibly without any awareness on the part of the extended family of how it affects him, for good or for ill.
In some hospitals there is an anecdotal saying that when there are more boys born than girls, it presages the advent of war. Globally, there are always more boys than girls born – the ratio is 105:100 (2) Are we then implying that we are always going to be at war and do such beliefs endorse the tough, competitive, even aggressive image of what it means to be a man?
Such impositions are everywhere. I once mentioned to a friend that her newborn was distressed by the noise and the energy of the TV. Her reply was that she had observed the same thing, mentioned it to the medical staff and was advised that the baby, who was a week old, needed to get used to it.
Part of the mix can also be the emotional needs of the mother. I have often heard mums refer to their newborn sons as ‘my little man,’ and observed how the baby can at times be assigned the role of fulfilling mum’s need to feel needed.
Do any of these imprints support the baby boy to connect with what he innately is? Or do they undermine it?
Is it possible that the baby boy born a little over 2000 years ago came into a family who themselves lived in a way that honoured the qualities of tenderness, inner connection, Soul, Love, Wisdom and Divine Intelligence? Did his teachers, elders and other members of his community also live thus and so nurtured the baby boy to unfold his divine potential, clearing the path for him so that he knew how to clear the path for so many others?
We are none of us born into a vacuum and naturally look to others to reflect and to confirm who we are. Especially as children, as newborns, we need to be nurtured in a manner that supports our unfolding development of our inner qualities. However, is it the case that we can only do this for our baby boys, for all of our children, once we have offered to, and unfolded this, for ourselves?
Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?
Do we need to be Soul-connected ourselves to truly welcome a Soul-connected being coming into the physical body in a way that confirms its absolute divinity? I feel that we do and that it is only then that we can move on from imposing our collectively held ideals, pictures, concepts and beliefs to expressing a true welcome from the inner-heart like:
Dear little child of mine
May the rays of Heaven shine
May you know just how Divine
All the wonders you bring to our lives
As you live and as you grow
May you forever always know
How grand and special you are
Bright as the light of a star
Dear little child of mine.
(Michael Benhayon GM Records)
Does not every child, every baby boy, deserve to be welcomed in this way, honoured in the simplicity of all that he is? And is this the only gift he truly ever needs, confirmed and lived daily by all those around him?
Permission from Michael Benhayon for the use of the Little Child of Mine lyric at the end of this blog.
By Coleen
References:
- How Many Babies Are Born Each Day? (n.d.). Retrieved August 04, 2017, from http://www.theworldcounts.com/stories/How-Many-Babies-Are-Born-Each-Day
- Sex Ratio. (n.d.). Retrieved August 04, 2017, from http://www.searo.who.int/entity/health_situation_trends/data/chi/sex-ratio/en/
Further Reading:
“Boys will be Boys”…I Don’t Think So
Men – Are we set up to fail?
Real men don’t cry
302 Comments
Such a beautiful blog and a great reminder of the imposition we place upon boys from the moment they are born. What a burden for them to carry.
There are so many ideals, beliefs, pictures and expectations on children these days. Making simply being a child even more challenging.
Hear hear – exactly so and the constant screen time, being blasted with the ‘what is not’, does not help matters whatsoever.
There is so much imposed on us when we are born. I was at a history museum yesterday and visited all the ways a child was brought up around 50 years ago and it is staggering the amount of influence religion has over this process. In fact I could rightly say that to be a child growing up in these situations would not inspire one to shine all of their inner joy and glow at all. We must be very very wise and careful with the process of raising a child as they after all are the future we reincarnate back into.
An article that brings the call to truth, integrity and deep respect on our World Wide Web. Let’s see more of such quality published
The whole process of having a child is so fraught with ideas and beliefs around how it should be. When I was born, my first visitors at maybe a few hours old gave me Champagne – they dipped a finger into a glass of Champagne and put it in my mouth. When I heard this when I was older I was horrified, how could you give what is ostensibly a socially acceptable poison that is known to do so much damage to a baby that was barely hours old? But at the time, it was something no one thought twice about and was a way to celebrate the birth, not by honouring the child and the qualities they bring but with alcohol.
We impose so much on all newborns when as you, with the help of the song lyrics, so beautifully portray all that is needed is to confirm each child in the love, wisdom and divinity that they enter this world with. For us to be able to fulfil this we must truly live it ourselves and let go of the issues that keep us from connecting to our own divinity and instead imposing our neediness on others and thus maintaining the current status quo.
The natural tenderness of a baby boy is something so worth confirming as it then allows for the tender, caring man that makes for a great partner and a super supportive father.
Coming from a family of war damaged children – this was never explored as all that was taught was how to survive the harshest and most devastating situations. One just frankly did not express great tenderness or how one felt at all, it was frowned upon. This way of being is now reflected in the dis-eases and illnesses that some of my family members have. Therefore, I am so very grateful for having been ‘woken up’ (albeit through a car accident which left me severely disabled for quite some years) – for the teachers that because of that I looked for and stayed with for a while; and especially now for Serge Benhayon and all he brings and has supported me with to truly connect to the beautiful tender and loving being I truly am.
Great blog Coleen. ‘In what quality of energy do we collectively welcome baby boys into this world?’ A stupendous question to ask and a question that is very much needed to be considered.
It is only when we know who we truly are, and deeply cherish ourselves that we can allow the truth and love of our newborns to shine, and give them space to grow into who they are.
Beautiful expression Rosemary – and even if we were not that connected with ourselves when a newborn came into our lives, it is never to late to reconnect to the love within and live it, as this reflection will be felt too at any stages in life.
Stunning blog asking us to stop and truly feel how we welcome babies into the world and what is the quality we live in, are we aware of our beliefs, ideals, expectations and needs so not to lace the newborn with them. This is asking all of us equally to reflect on this and the responsibility we have regardless if we are a parent or not as we are all responsible for the the next generation’s upbringing. I did not know so many babies are born every single day!!!! More importantly why we should ask ourselves these questions. I deeply appreciate what you have shared here.
The impositions and moulds we infer on baby boys are terrifying and that includes, as you mention, getting them used to loud TV and other such acts of cruelty. What have we come to that any of this is considered normal?
Not just for baby boys – no different for baby girls either.
It is tragic the amount of impositions and expectations we put on newborns. To be held in love and to be honoured for being themselves is all that they need, whatever gender they are.
It is so true how from the moment of birth, and even before in the preparation of the expected birth, children are imposed upon. Knowing a number of children whose parents have attempted to the best of their ability not to do this but to allow and enable their child to develop and express from their own innate nature demonstrates that there is another way which is far more enhancing for the child and all that encounters them.
Absolutely beautiful Coleen, the lyrics are divine. I love this song by Michael Benhayon. If everybody on earth cherish and nurture our children to be who they are, totally divine and support them to connect to their essence, then abuse, disharmony and war would be a thing of the past.
It is quite ugly when you feel into the imposition we place on a newborn to fulfill those ideals and beliefs we carry, and then impose onto them.
The honouring of every child brings forth a human that is one with the universe and innately knows what it means to live heaven on earth.
Gorgeous article Coleen. It really brings to the fore just how precious every child is, and how important it is that from day one they are loved for them and not showered by ideals, beliefs and expectations under the disguise of ‘gifts’.
Colleen for me this shows how earth bound and materially focused humanity has become, for if we are to accept that we have a 6th sense, our ability to feel energy all of the time, then we would confirm and celebrate the magnificence & power of the energetic field with which each and every new born child brings, indeed the majesty of light returned.
I love what you have shared Lucinda.
We each have the responsibility to live in a way that we can truly recognise, welcome and celebrate “the magnificence & power of the energetic field with which each and every new born child brings, indeed the majesty of light returned”.
And also living in a way that confirms and supports one another, at whatever age, to truly express of the magnificence of who we actually are.
Great blog here Coleen with much food for thought. Do we ‘clear the path’ for our children to allow them the freedom and space to become all of who they are from the moment they are born, or do we place obstacles and blocks to this natural process in their way by lacing them with our own expectations and ideals and beliefs?
Imagine if we welcomed every baby knowing they had the potential within them to change the world – and we were simply there to guide and support them. What could be possible then?
I love this – a deep call to bring responsibility to the way we love and parent children.
… and our selves as well as others – parenting here being a holding and appreciating the love we all come from and are.
So true Coleen, as soon as a baby boy is born he is draped in many expectations and ideals that swamp his natural tenderness and expression by adults who have lost touch with their essence. How beautiful is it to see the baby for who he is, a tender soul ready to shine his light in the world and to foster his innate connection to core values that really we are all seeking to re-establish in our lives. We are all divine and there can be no greater gift in the world than celebrating the birth of another divine being free from all expectation, but full of appreciation, without any agenda or intent beyond appreciating the gift of life before us.
Coleen, another great thought provoking writing. What an exposure of ideals and beliefs that are heaped upon babies at birth, even whilst they are asleep in their mothers arms or a cot – the heavy emotional imprint of expectations is already laid upon them. Could this seemingly small thing of covering a baby in favourite football team colours and talk of the future, be the beginning of the disconnection to their true essence and a burden of separation to be carried through life?
“It is not uncommon for families to drape their newborns in the colours of their favourite sporting team from the moment of birth. Others discuss and anticipate what career the child will take up later in life – will he be a carpenter, a doctor, a musician, an entrepreneur who will uphold the family name, make money, be a success?”
Coleen, this article is brilliant, from what I have observed with baby boys coming into this world there are many expectations that come with them, boys can be signed up for rugby as young as one years old, there is so much pressure from society that boys will wear blue, be rough and tough and not sweet and sensitive and yet when I see young boys I see so much sweetness and sensitivity and fragility and these are very beautiful, natural qualities.
I love how you strip this down Coleen and how you expose the way we are with newborn babies and wonder if it is truly celebrating them. I always had to cringe with the ‘he is sure going to be a boxer’ when a baby boy clenches his fists. I now understand this is because I deep down knew there is so much more to us and that we need to cherish and celebrate this from the moment a baby is born. It is like we start with toughening up our children as soon as they are born so they will be used to the way we are with each other in the world at the moment but this actually perpetuates the state of the world today instead of ‘protecting’ the beauty of the inner child in truth. To do the latter is to cherish that beauty that is in us from the moment we are born and from there on every single day.
The song by Michael Benhayon says it all. “As you live and as you grow. May you forever always know. How grand and special you are….” if all children were raised knowing this throughout their childhood, the world would be – will be – a very different place.
And as we are all God’s children – this applies to all of us whether young or grown up.
By honouring every child like this we get to feel how much we deserve the same tenderness and care and how special and great we all are.
Yes and when we connect to that, how we treat our selves and consequently others will be from a place of knowing that this is so and that we are all special and great equally so.
“Do any of these imprints support the baby boy to connect with what he innately is? Or do they undermine it?” A good question Coleen. Parents have so many aspirations for their children. But do we allow them to unfold – in their own time – or do we impose – and put our own unfulfilled dreams onto our children?
I have just read an account of a mother who lost her 20 year old son he killed himself. And she said that if she was given that time over again she would raise her son in such a different way. Too late she has come to the realisation that she did not cherish her son for everything he was but burdened him with all the expectations that she and her husband had on how he should be and what he should be achieving and she now realizes that was too much for him to bear. The article she wrote I feel should be given to every parent and today more than ever as we seem to expect so much from them, far more than when I was growing up.
The longest journey starts with the first step, and it has been taken. We only need to choose the example lived by the words of Michael Benhayon on the way to raise all of your children.
There are so many impositions on a newborn instead of the celebration they deserve for what they already are and bring to us from their divine essence.
Yes, so true Nico, and the irony is that by doing so we deny the opportunity for the love and beauty we all crave.
“Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?” Abso-100%-lutely. And indeed I would suggest that the energy with which babies are showered with gifs and impositions is a direct result of the fact that we haven’t lived that level of cherishing and valuing ourselves and so, when a baby comes along, we go into the over-compensating – which is in fact a gross abuse.
I agree Otto and I would say the greatest ‘gift’ we can give a child or each other as adults is to be aware of and continually commit to developing the quality we hold and live for ourselves, for everything we do in life will be in this quality.
Very well said, Otto. This over-compensating for what we know in truth as a lack of connection and presence with one another, is something for all of us to consider, not as a judgement but as a starting point for a deeper level of responsibility and embracing of life and each other.
Such a beautiful song. To be welcomed and be nurtured for just being who we are – this can be applied to any relationship/encounter at any time and moment in our life. It is never too late.
Hear hear Colleen, I agree with everything you have shared. Living with two teenage sons, i’ve seen from when they were born to impositions on them to be a certain way because they were a boy. If they played with a ball they were then asked to kick it and then if they kicked it they were going to be a soccer player like their dad. As you said this has been passed down from generation to generation and also societies thinking when it comes to girls and boys and what they should and shouldn’t do or be like. When we do this though we miss out on the absolute sweetest tenderness I’ve ever seen and felt. Thank you for writing this blog which is much needed to expose what we do without even considering the consequences of it.
Wow, the imposition society champions is so much worse than we want to accept. So needy are we, that we think we need to mould our children into what we want them to be. It’s devastating when you really allow yourself to feel just how much we make it about filling the void within ourselves and not about allowing ourselves to learn from the reflection that is so strong in front of us.
This reflects the importance of such conversations as we are having here, so that we can expose and become clear of the many ingrained expectations we burden each other with in life, and heal the issues that have led to them. Because without this we will keep on repeating the same patterns and creating the same escalating devastation in the world.
It is well worth considering how we welcome each other – the quality in which we live will be received by all others, whether they are with us or afar.
Yes it is well worth considering how we welcome and treat each other and ourselves for each moment is a new birth.
So true Deborah – as energy knows no distance and therefore is felt by all all of the time.
Colleen an insightful post that draws the preciousness of every child irrespective of its gender, for each baby boy or baby girl born carries the innate pure seed of love that is to be cherished and adored without affliction or imposition, but held free.
Coleen this is as beautiful thought provoking sharing! I would agree that the way we are and live would have a great bearing on how we raise our children. If we have ideals and beliefs that are negative this will impact on our child therefor it is vital that we look deeply at the way we are ourselves before we have children and correct what we need to before it is able to impact our children. Love and acceptance of who we are as Sons of God equally so would be as good start.
Perhaps one of our most misguided ideas is that some are born special and others not so. We build up stories and people and misinterpret teaching about Jesus to have that special gifted, anointed one, when we in actual fact have special in front of us each time we are in front of another person, not just a newborn but everyone that walks this planet. The more we could accept this the more it would be glaringly obvious that this is the case and that we all have so much to give and receive from one another.
Right on, Stephen, every single one of us is special and the more we appreciate this in ourselves the more we can both reflect this to others and to see them as such.
And the key here is to keep walking this so that we in turn confirm again and again how truly grand we are.
What you have shared with us all Stephen is a brilliant reminder to us all that everyone we meet is that special gifted, anointed one if we care to just stop and appreciate one another and are prepared to let down our walls of protection.
Absolutely Stephen, I had an experience last week of talking to a gorgeous 6 month old boy in a café, I didn’t know him or his family. There was another gentlemen with them and he kept saying to me that the baby was so bright and strong because he was from a particular religion and all children from that religion are more special. I was surprised, firstly another area in which we separate ourselves and secondly how imposing that is on a baby who has no affiliation or concept of what a particular religion fosters or how to be.
We “have special in front of us each time we are in front of another person, not just a newborn but everyone that walks this planet.” Beautifully said Stephen.
Important to bin the myth of ‘specialness’ as it separates one from another
Absolutely agree Stephen. We are all so immensely precious and have such gifts to share when we are encouraged to connect to our divinity and express our inherent love. There is no such thing as one special person, we are all special, a truth that once accepted restores us to our real glory.
The game of inequality is what keeps us all apart. Promoting one over another or believing that there are ‘chosen ones’. There is so much here to pull apart on the ideals and beliefs that flood in to cover up or ingrain behaviours that become long term entrenched ways of living.
The trap of story telling gives others permission to add their own flavour that may be ones interpretation but not an understanding and truth for all.
Beautiful – honouring each child as they are born be they boy of girl and continuing to honour them throughout our lives and their lives.
And this honouring can only really take place in truth when we are truly honouring our selves every step of the way too, first.
The lyrics of Michael’s song are deeply moving. Both boys and girls are put into a box when they are born and it is incredibly imposing. We strip men of their tenderness and then wonder why there are huge rates of domestic violence etc. All children need to be allowed to express who they truly are.
Totally agree Leonne, and as your recent blog on Clairsentience reveals without honouring this our sixth sense each & every welcome will continue to be void of the magic and confirmation of our full light-filled essence.