Recently I had a very precious friend and her son stay with me for a couple of days. During their stay, all three of us went into town for the day. To understand that this is a big day needs a little explaining. Where I live it takes 1 hour 15 minutes to drive from my home to the centre of town. We left home at 8am, and arrived home at 3.30pm. All of us were feeling a little tired from our day.
As we arrived home, my friend turned the TV on and her son sat down to watch it while we unpacked and prepared for the evening meal. It wasn’t long after that I noticed a change in him. When his Mum talked to him or suggested that he have a bath before tea, he was rude and mean. Initially I was putting this down to his being tired.
We all sat down to an early evening meal and again, he was still niggly and being mean and cutting. As we began to eat I could sense that it had something to do with what was on the TV, so I said that while we were eating our meal, I would turn the TV off, and did so.
What followed was a huge learning curve for all of us. The tsunami of insults and anger that came through him was very intense. He was using phrases and wording that were directing harm to all in the room. He insisted that he wanted to throw his meal on the floor. All of this was instant, as soon as the TV was turned off. He literally attacked me and said he hated me in ways that a child of 6 just doesn’t use. He even told me that I hated him, to which I replied very steadily, “I love you dearly.”
During all of this I remained very calm, present and tender with both him and his Mum. We made it through the meal and he did eat most of it, and then his Mum took him off to bath.
While he was bathing, his mother and I had time to talk about what we had just witnessed. We discussed that the energy that was coming through the programme that he was watching had affected him and that the way he was behaving just now was not really him. His Mum was relieved and she said that this sort of behaviour had happened before, but she had not understood what was going on for her child. We discussed that he might continue with it for a little time yet, but to not give in to it, to remain steady and loving, providing a clear strong presence of love for him to return to when he was ready.
After our discussion, I had a meeting to attend so I left them both for an hour. In that time they sat together reading books and talking and the little boy completely settled. He was enjoying his Mum and the time they were spending together. This was really beautiful to feel and to experience. When my meeting ended I came up into the kitchen and began preparing some food for myself and for my friend and her son to take for the next day. Soon after he came out to help and there was no residual effect from his tirade. Together we prepared the food and spent some time sitting on the couch talking and doing jigsaw puzzles.
When my children were little, if they behaved this way when they were tired, I would have simply written it off as their being tired and that I had to just put up with the behaviour until they went to bed. I did not have the understanding to be able to discern if there was more going on than their tiredness.
Our children are very sensitive beings and are affected by what is going on around them, all of the time. To experience the effect that a TV programme had on this young child brought home to me the very deep truth of this fact.
As parents, aunties, uncles, grandparents and family friends, we all know the children in our lives inside out, and all of us have the responsibility to discern and to understand what is going on in their lives and to sense the activities or experiences that cause them to change.
Watching TV is now considered one of those normal things that both adults and children participate in every day. For myself, the above experience has shown me that much discernment is needed in participating in this daily activity. How do we feel after watching a programme? Does the programme really support us to relax or does it incite us into emotional reactions and judgements? The same reactions can be observed in our children. I know for myself that TV was a great babysitter for when I needed to get things done in the house, but now I really wonder if this was truly the case! Very often after completing the tasks, my children would be more emotional and needy than they had been before popping them in front of the TV.
I feel that there is more to the above scenario than we are willing to acknowledge: that how we are feeling and how we plan our days is where we as adults may be able to adjust and change, so that there is less need to expose our children to TV and the energy that the programmes may bring with them. That there is a level of responsibility we can step up to with our own self-care that will in turn support our children.
In the past several years I have chosen to be a student of Universal Medicine and the Ageless Wisdom Teachings that Serge Benhayon presents. I have learnt a lot about myself during this time. Situations in life have shown me just how irresponsible I had been with my self-care and how this has impacted on my family. When I was living tired and feeling run down, I simply did not have the energy to be discerning with activities like TV and in other areas in my family’s lives.
What Serge has shown me is that love of myself is needed first and foremost. I have now come to understand that this love, once chosen, simply expands to having a deep love for others in my life. It was through this feeling of love within that I was able to see the effect that the TV programme was having on this young child and it was the deep love that I felt for him that prompted me to take the action I did.
From the above experience, I feel deeply that many of the programmes that are aired on TV are not supportive of our families living together, with care and understanding for each other. A level of discernment is needed when it comes to inviting the Television into our lives, and a commitment to allowing us to be honest and to connect to how a programme leaves our family, and ourselves, feeling after watching it. Only then do we have a clear choice as to what we allow to come into our homes from the TV. Only then can we eliminate those programmes that do not support our family to live in the harmony that is the natural way of being, when living together as a community of people that a family is.
Published with permission of my friend.
By Leigh Strack, Eungella
Further Reading:
Doing the Unthinkable: Going on a Technology Detox
My TV Addiction
That’s entertainment? Wired for distraction
528 Comments
Recently there was a group of children that were offered to watch a children’s movie as part of a themed day and the children were encouraged to dress as one of the characters. What I observed with the children after was that the children were either very sluggish and almost in a daze, or really hypo and silly after. As a bystander and not a participant I got to see the affects of a choice made that was not truly supporting or educating children in any way, but seemingly offering a feel good time that was actually harming and numbing.
I was recently asked to babysit a few friends children while they attended a family wedding. Four children from 3 different homes in the one house. It was interesting how each child had a different relationship with how they used this time. Some raced to watch the TV, others were looking for entertainment using other media sources and others were engaging with play opportunities with outdoor equipment and toys. When the TV and other media was not given as an option for the day, the behaviour was quick to change. An example like many of the responsibilities we have as care- givers in the home.
If there was no such thing as TV how different would our spare time be? It might be tough for a few days or weeks, but after a while, would we simply learn to enjoy our own and others company?
Leigh you raise a great point here about the energy tv brings into our homes and how people are affected by it. It was lovely to read how you were aware of what was happening and dealt with the situation. Too many people are oblivious of what comes from watching tv, and giving parents the opportunity to see and feel it for themselves gives them a greater understanding.
I have experienced this sort of behaviour with children when I turned the TV off because I felt that it had totally sucked them in. It was just like it might be if I had taken something very precious away from them and they all went a bit mad. What comes through the TV if we let it never fails to astound me. I know for myself if I come home from work tired and flop down in front of the TV, I am drained far more than if I stay active in my wind-down to bed.
As we bring more love into our lives all that is not love stands out even more. Here is where we are offered the responsibility of staying with the love we know, and observing deeply what is happening and contributing as best we can to hold steady and let what and who are around us come back to that love, if they so choose. Being firm in these instances is usually a requirement as the resistance we meet can be very strong.
Until we understand that energy is everything and that energy is in everything we will be at the whim and sway of manipulative media.
I do not watch much tv at all these days, but only recently watched something on my computer before getting into bed. It had been some reality tv show, one that I had watched before, but not quite that late. As I got into bed to go to sleep, I just could not. I was really racy and could not settle my mind. I was so surprised at how much this show had impacted me, which got me thinking about all the times I have watched tv, but been numb to the impacts, it is just that I don’t watch it very often that I could really feel its impacts and boy did it feel imposing.
Well said Reagan,
Whilst TV is a regular part of life, the truth of what it delivers is not registered, it is however felt and impacts on how we live our every day lives. As I write this, tears are flowing from my eyes. It is absolutely atrocious that we as a humanity have allowed ourselves to become so numb that we cannot feel the impacts of things around us.
I used to spend hours watching TV, but after some time studying with Universal Medicine and learning to be connected to my body and how I feel I started to notice how TV left me. If there was suspense or danger my body would be going through the physiological symptoms as if I was actually in danger, and I often felt disconnected to myself. I felt like I would leave myself, my body and my inner connection by being absorbed in a show. The Gentle Breath Meditation was the foundation for my connection and it felt so beautiful to be with myself. In contrast the vacant space feeling TV gave me made letting go of TV was really easy. I had me back and no show was ever going to equal that.
Although this article focuses on children watching TV and the effects of this, I would reckon this is something that many adults have experienced in just as damaging a way. Recently I watched a movie on tv and I could tell while watching it what a waste of time it was. The ripple effect of watching this was how flat and lethargic I felt the next day. Whether we admit it or not, what we watch has a big effect on how we feel. The difference with a young child is that they don’t try to bottle up the emotional response, they just let out all the stuff that the TV show has brought in.
This story shows how a small child enjoys and feels the connection when sharing a book or puzzle with someone rather than absorbing the energy that can come from watching TV or video games.
I know children as young as 6 who watch MTV in their spare time because this what there parents want to watch, to me this horrifying as I can see what effects this energy has on them. Most of the music videos played these days are very sexually explicit. What are we telling children with these messages? That this kind of sexuality and promiscuity is ok.?This is so not right.
This is such an important question, we need to start asking what are we bringing into our homes with the TV we consume. I know I can feel really negative after watching something. TV is actually really imposing and can be quite brutal in its delivery. Do we really want our children subjected to energy that once they absorb changes them as people? I don’t think so and thats why it is so important this question is asked now.
My 6 year old grandson has a tablet that he plays games on. We notice that his mood changes when he plays on it for too long. Zooming out to a wider view, I see how I can get drawn in and distracted by things on my computer and will often spend much longer on it than planned. Walking home last night, 95% of the people I passed were looking at their phones, even while crossing the roads. What children are doing is a reflection of what we are all doing.
This a is a superb example of what TV and gaming can do, and it makes you wonder what the quality of the relationships are within our households really is, especially as the TV is such a huge focal point in our homes. I know from my own experience I find that the TV makes me feel anti-social and withdrawn, so it is no surprise to me to read of this 6 year old acting in this way.
Oh how I wish the world could read this article, it is relevant to every family who has a TV /gaming device. I know I have noticed it with those close to me a huge reliance on video games and stimulating entertainment such as music and movies, this disturbs me as coming out of these addictive behaviours can be just as hard as coming off hard drugs.
Such a great blog Leigh, I have only just recently had an experience where I chose to watch a few episodes of a reality tv show one evening. I thought that it would be ok, it was quite light and not too contentious in any way. But when I went to go to sleep, I felt like my nervous system was in overdrive and I could not drop off to sleep. I didn’t really fully realise what energy was coming from the episodes I was watching. I will be so much more vigilant in the future.
My children and I have recently been discussing what it would be like if there were to be another world war. Because the world is so different now, with many children and young adults spending much of their time engaged with a TV or computer screen of some kind, we were wondering how a new war would take place, and how, as a modern humanity, we would cope. It all brought me back to love in the home, and realising that this is what any one person brings with them wherever they go, even if it is to war. Technology is here and it is in our homes, so maybe there is great work to be done in ensuring that whatever it brings, the love that is felt between people is not compromised. And maybe this is our greatest defence against war itself.
Great sharing of how by meeting our children with love, understanding and non-judgment we offer them an opportunity and a support to be truly who they are.
I felt this urge to turn on the tv. I was tired and just wanted to zone out and watch the lives of other people, to get lost in their dramas. I wanted the stimulation of the viewing so that I could not feel how my body was feeling, so that I did not have to take responsibility for what I had chosen which brought me to that point. Saying no to this urge in that moment however has taught me about energy, and how we have the choice of what we can choose to put our energy in to. A great lesson in life.
It is not the TV of course, with al the unloving energy it brings, it is the way we deal with it. Do we submerge in it or do we observe it.
I love what happens when we are able to observe. So much becomes evident and then it makes it easier for us to bring understanding to a situation.
It seems that television brings what is like another person (or people) into our homes. They then are a new factor in how our home feels and what is now the predominant feeling in the house.
When I used to play video games for 10+ hours a day I used to consider it normal to be moody and depressed. As I started to cut down I noticed how my mood did change during and after gaming. The same when I would feel intense anger while watching certain youtube channels or even today having recently joined Instagram I have noticed certain behaviours creeping in. These screens and what comes from them is directly affecting our lives and our relationships with ourselves and towards other people. And yet this factor is glossed over and ignored. We have more distractions from connecting to each other than ever before because we have more ‘social media connections’ than ever before and have considered such low quality of human interrelation as acceptable. None of these compare to human connection to ourselves and to each other as this blog clearly shares as the little boy calmed once spending time with his mum.
It is interesting how often I visit a friend’s homes and hear the TV in the background even though no one is in the room. It makes me wonder whether TV has become part of our family unit, an addition that is constantly there as a form of entertainment that prevents us from sitting or being with another at any given time in the day.
Dear Natallija,
In my experience the most insidious thing about TV is that I used it for ‘company’ when I was alone in the house. But what this was in truth was the most effective way of not being with myself. This living in constant disconnection to myself then rolled on to not connecting with others. Hence the TV was going constantly in my home during those years.
“Watching TV is now considered one of those normal things that both adults and children participate in every day. ” It is so normal we cannot see how deeply distracting, numbing and de-energising it is, just to name a few of it’s insidious effects.
I have definitely checked out to TV and paid the price of having its energy running around my system – I’ve dreamt about programmes I’ve watched, started thinking about them during the day and these thoughts and emotions attached to the programme have kept returning. We may think we turn the TV off and that’s it but I know, because I’ve turned on the TV to be entertained/ distracted from being present in my life, I have consumed the energy it’s emitted which remains long after the TV has been switched off.
This is a great example of how TV and other outside influences can affect us all. It is our responsibility not to give ourselves away to the energy of a TV show by staying consciously present with ourselves.
‘Watching TV is now considered one of those normal things that both adults and children participate in every day.’ And yet this does not have to be so, we can break the habit. Living life without TV as a constant or necessary part of my life, opened up a new me: energy levels rose, I was more present with myself, had space for me, whereas before I was filled with information and over emotional content that was not true and did not support my well-being. I can now see how watching TV deadens and drains our life-force.
TV will one day be exposed for what it is – a porthole for abusive energy to come through. Obviously not everything we see on TV is harmful but I would say a lot of it is. This is imposition is not seen by most but it is there all the same imposing and manipulating the viewer.
TV is fascinating for me – so many times I have watched something and asked myself what did I actually learn or get from that. Quite often nothing that actually has benefited me in anyway! Sure I got a moment of check out from life but then I walk around with less love and so everyone gets a lesser version of me. It is crazy really how much we at times value check out moments over love in our bodies – when love is what we all deeply crave.
Thank you Leigh for sharing this at it highlights how important it is to observe what it is we are choosing to engage in, in our everyday lives. It’s great to be aware of the fact that in every moment we have a choice to connect or disconnect to Love, to ‘say’ yes to evolution or ‘yes’ to involution. When we disconnect and say ‘no’ to evolution we then are saying ‘yes’ to anything that is not of Love to move us and be part of our lives in that moment. This is what we then share with those around us. There are many things in the world that are on offer that are not of Love and it is our responsibility to be open and willing to observe, learn and discern what it is we are choosing and the effects it is having on our bodies and each other.
Great subject to bring up Leigh, I too have seen my daughters behaviour change dramatically when watching certain programmes and literally being glued to the set. Turning it off or even pausing it for dinner often ends up in her being banned from it for a number of days because of the tantrum she throes. The energy behind some of these shows that children watch is appalling and very hard to watch if you’ve ever checked them out.
Agree Kevin McHardy,
What is going on in our world that children’s TV shows are such that invokes addictive behavior in ones so young? There is much to question here as to how, if left unsupervised and with out energetic guidance that our children are essentially handed over to be addicted first to TV, then who knows what else once such behavior is a way of living.
I too have noticed how my kids have changed after watching tv. On occasions I’ve used tv as a babysitter to get things done or to have a bit of a ‘break’, but looking at it now, if I need a break then what is it saying about the quality of the way I have been living up until this point.
It is beautiful that from developing your own self love that you have been able to love others more deeply and from this be aware of how this love can be disrupted by things such as television and act accordingly.
This is a first class example of how the TV programs can affect all of us, and how insidious the energy from the programs can be. This is where most of us are fooled into thinking the programs are harmless or just bit of fun, but how often do we watch say a well known talent show and find ourselves getting far too involved in the participants lives – gone are the days when I watch such things because always I would feel disturbed afterwards, or the songs would be playing out in my head.
When we are with ourselves we can better discern what energy is coming at us, the more I am present with myself the more obvious it is how harming many TV programmes are.
I can attest to a marked change in my relationship with television, since becoming a student of The Way of The Livingness Leigh. I used to use it to get relief at the end of a day, switch off, disappear in other worlds, other people’s lives… Today, I still watch certain programs, but gone is the need to disappear in a movie or fill in the evening with ‘the box’ and whatever may be on it. I have never said ‘no’ to television, but rather, have found that my discernment and indeed need for it has changed markedly, as I’ve come to feel more vital, purposeful and joyful in my everyday living. The changes that have gone on within have most definitely had quite an impact on the need for such stimulation from without. And with this, my eyes have opened far more widely to just what can be contained within any TV program.
There are so many elements to ‘modern life’ that we have readily accepted as ‘normal’ to include in everyday activity. Television is definitely one of them. You’ve raised some worthy questions here Leigh, that ask us to discern – and be truly willing to discern just what we’re inviting into our homes. Thank-you.
I recently watched a movie and when I came out of the cinema, I could feel that I wanted to go and eat things that I wouldn’t ordinarily eat. I was able to feel that the type of movie that I had seen had really affected me energetically, I was now after the movie wanting to numb myself, from what I had just taken on during the movie. I actually in this example did to act on the pull to go and eat junk food, but celebrated my awareness and that I choose to be loving instead.
I used to go to the movies often Raegan, never discerning or considering just how much they affected my mood and thought processes. But they always did. I can remember thinking about a movie constantly for weeks after seeing it. I also remember one movie in particular, where after watching it I was so taken by it that when driving home, I missed turning of the highway towards home. It really is very telling how much we loose ourselves when viewing movies and watching TV.