I never knew what a true relationship was until I met Serge Benhayon and saw how he was with his family and everyone he came in contact with. I observed this deeply from afar – almost wishing that I could be part of something so beautiful. I remember thinking at the time, “Wow, that’s love in its fullest form.”
What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.
The way the family members would come together and eat – the way they moved towards each other and the way they cared so deeply for each other – was so beautiful. There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving. It was the love I had always wanted from my own family and the love that everyone seeks.
In the beginning I thought that love was reserved for others and not for me and that I could not be a part of that love. I also wanted to be part of Serge’s family – failing to see that I had my own family around me, and not only my direct family members but also my friends, work colleagues, flatmate and even the people I met casually on a day to day basis.
I remember sitting with an elderly lady at a bus stop one day and she was telling me she felt lonely. My reply was that you are never alone – there is always someone there, we just need to be open to everyone and treat each and every one of us with the absolute care and respect that we all deserve.
Even within my own direct family I have two Mums because one of my Mum’s best friends is a widow with no family and I have always included her in every family gathering and treated her the same as I would my own Mother; to me she is family – she’s part of my life and hence she is someone I value and care for.
Recently I discovered that I had feelings for a friend of mine I’ve known for quite some time but always dismissed because I never felt it would work on a practical level, given he lives on the other side of the world. I’ve always felt a connection to him but because of the logistics, I held back from expressing my feelings or developing the relationship further.
Since expressing my love for this man it has allowed me to express my love for others more freely, to be more open and honest with how I feel about all the people in my life. To see people for who they are and to appreciate the qualities they bring to me and to everyone else – sometimes when they can’t see it themselves.
So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times. It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.
So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.
This blog was inspired after many years of knowing, observing and learning with Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and his family members, who are a great example for developing and expanding our own family and how we are within that family to develop love for all.
By Fiona Shuttleworth, Sales Assistant, Brighton, East Sussex, UK
Further Reading:
Serge Benhayon
Letting People In – True Love for All
Seeking Connection and True Relationships
729 Comments
Hi Fiona — What you have shared is common in relationships, always seeing what someone else has as better, more complete, more available but the truth is that we carry the love within us and the degree of love we experience in our lives is equal to the degree we choose to open our hearts. Knowing this is empowering because true relationships are available and it is up to us to be open to appreciate and celebrate this. Expression is part of developing loving relationship and all it takes is to speak or act from love and let the rest unfold.
I can not be reminded enough to appreciate.. thank you Fiona.
“A true relationship is developing all relationships”. Isn’t it beautiful that our close relationships show us the depth that is possible with every relationship. If we are to restrict our love to only those close to us, all of our relationships are made less because of it.
Fiona beautifully expressed, when we are open with everyone it leaves us free to deepen our connection with ourselves and others, and the whole of humanity is then affected by our reflection.
” a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.”- Yes, when we can see people from their innermost qualities we allow them the space to be themselves; they can feel the love we hold them in and therefore connect to their own love if they so choose.
Beautiful blog Fiona, what a gorgeous thing to acknowledge, we are in relationship with everyone and showing love is our natural way. It is incredible how far we actually have moved away from that innate love for each other. Expressing love is all that is needed.
True relationship knows no boundaries nor distance. Being open to everyone and treating each one with love and care, your words are deeply felt in their illustration Fiona.
Everything about what Serge Benhayon presents and lives is about relationships and love and there is not one without the other. Through relationships we get to feel and see who we are as do those we are in relationship with. The opportunity here is coming to the understanding that we are love and being in relationship is how we realise this.
It look me quiet a while to understand how love can be equal to all. I struggled to see how my feelings for my now husband could be the same as how I felt about a friend. But to explore this a bit deeper – what I now understand is that love is equal – what changes is our expression of love.
Fiona – as you share here- when you expressed to the man you had feelings for, it then supported to to be more open to other people. That is now my understanding, that everything is connected, that it is possible to have love for everyone in our lives, and that equality is actually so important in terms of consistency and steadiness.
The simplicity and universal nature of relationships explored. A great article Fiona and one that has me reflecting on all the relationships I have in my life, what is a true relationship? Like you I had not known one until meeting Serge Benhayon and family, then everything changed, what I thought was a relationship was not and the more I’ve allowed myself to live true relationships the greater richness my life has been.
Thanks, Fiona. I too have idealised what true family is, not thinking that it is up to me to be open and equally loving with everyone I meet in order to feel the connection I have longed for. When we see the potential to have love in every relationship, the day becomes full of joyful opportunity.
Fiona I love what you share it shows that the quality of love we have for ourselves is reflected in all our relationships and that the more we are open and loving with all those in our life the deeper our love for self and others becomes forever expanding.
I always used to have trouble in relationships and couldn’t understand why, until I realised that the first relationship that needed to be built and cherished was the one with me. And as I lovingly committed to building this relationship I found that developing relationships with others started to become easier and easier. Today I feel as if I am in relationship with everyone equally so, from my close family, my friends and right down to the person who pumps my gas. What a wonderful and priceless investment I made in taking the time to build a true relationship with myself first.
What I have learnt through the presentations of Serge Benhayon and observing how he is with everyone, is that we are in a relationship with everyone we meet. I am learning to be the same with everyone, seeing every one as an equal and not thinking I prefer or like one person over another. This has changed my whole understanding of relationships and even the relationship with myself and what love is, love does not measure who we love and who hold back being love with. I love the words ‘movement of love’ Fiona, to me it expresses that we either move towards love or away from love.
It’s so important to appreciate our family members and friends, as otherwise we can miss out on the total gems that they offer us on a day to day basis, in many different ways. We can miss the little things if we don’t take the time to appreciate our relationships.
Beautifully written Fiona and I love the way you have described Serge Benhayon and his family. I have also been watching how they interact with each other and it is true every single one of us wants the same love and deep appreciation they have for each other. Awesome blog.
Family and what that means and looks like has completely changed for me since meeting Serge Benhayon and the Benhayon family. I grew up being told that your family is everything and what happens in the family stays in the family. That belief was debunked when I learnt and remembered that everything we do is energy. So when something happens in the family, whether you share that with others or not, everyone is affected – friends, colleagues, other family and people we don’t know yet. I now have a family of hundreds, and while the familiarity or length of time of knowing each other may be different, the quality of love is no different.
To be in relationship with everyone, something that I know I could commit to more. More and more it is about that feeling of supporting another in the place they are at. That knowing that a word or look can make all the difference to another whether they are a close friend or smiling at a stranger in the street.
Fiona, wow this is gorgeous, ‘So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships. It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.’ I love this, i can feel how if Im being judgmental of someone that I am not loving them, there is a seperation, I have done this many times and can feel reading this article that being truly loving is developing ALL relationships lovingly not just those with family or close friends.
Fiona, I loved how you shared with the lady at the bus stop, and of course you are right, a connection can be made at any time, with anyone if we allow our hearts to open.
It has been my experience that unless you are a hermit and have absolutely no contact with any other human being in the course of your day, there is love to be found everywhere if I am open to it, in the daily interactions and connections with people – a smile, a momentary eye contact, an interesting conversation… these are all moments of connection that are there for the taking every day and if we are open to them we can never be lonely.
Fiona, a great blog, showing that each and every relationship is as important as the next. Wether we choose to see it that way or not, we are constantly in relationship with everyone. Learning to express ourselves with everyone builds and supports our own relationship with ourself and ultimately whoever it may be that we choose to have an ‘intimate’ relationship with.
Could loneliness be a choice rather than an affliction? Something we bring on ourselves by shutting out others rather than something that happens to us?
Hi Andrew. I love what you write because it makes me question even further. For me I would say it’s not a choice people would make willingingly but more a state of being that they have accepted because that’s what is expected of us. No one wants to feel lonely and the biggest loneliness comes from not loving who we are or comparing ourselves to everyone else and seeing ourselves as less than someone else. Everyone has an innerr beauty but few are allowed the space to feel this. If we met everyone with the love we feel then that would allow each and everyone of those people to feel something else.
“What struck me most at the time was how he [Serge Benhayon] was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” What a gorgeous way of describing the expression of love – the movement of love.
Its funny as for me, it has been the break up of my relationship that has reminded me that love is available to everyone equally. I had been reserving it for the special people in my life (not just my partner) rather than sharing all of me with everyone equally. I’m discovering that it is a way of living that has the capacity to transform all relationships.
That’s so beautifully put Simon
‘So for me a true relationship is developing all relationships.’ So true and thank you Fiona for sharing how expressing your love in one area of your life has expanded all your other relationships. For so long I have held back my love for fear of rejection and since expressing it more freely can feel how this has deepened all my relationships and my acceptance of others where they are at without a need to change them. Developing appreciation for myself and sharing that has been key to this development and it continues to evolve the more willing I am to drop my guard and allow others in.
‘I never knew what a true relationship was until I met Serge Benhayon and saw how he was with his family and everyone he came in contact with.” I had the same experience Fiona. Until I met Serge Benhayon I had never seen what a true relationship looked like…I thought I did and I certainly had an ideal in my mind of what that looked like, but the reality of what Serge has shown through his lived way has smashed through the picture I held. I know with certainty that any relationship I form is only as loving as it can be based on the foundation of how much I love myself first.
It ia actually so simple Fiona, instead of looking for the love from outside and to believe it is something that only others have, reserved for the privileged, we can build love for ourselves and into our relationships by bringing valuing and appreciative qualities into our lives.
I remember growing up and hearing the phase that you are only ever a guest or stranger once. These were pre-PC days when people engaged in conversation. I have not lived in London long, and it is a standard on the list of things of etiquette for visitors from other countries to stand on the right of escalators and do not talk to others on the tube. Did people on the tube have conversations with others pre-PC? Just because it has always been that way doesn’t make it right! It is time to become best friends with our long lost friend, our self and the rest will just unfold.
Beautiful Fiona. I felt as you expressed your love of someone the other side of the globe how your love flowed on around the Earth and returned to you touching everyone else on the way.
The Benhayons definitely are a great model of how we all could be with each other if we could all treat each other as equals and part of our own family. This is the way it is supposed to be. Imagine if all the energy used on putting people down and wasted on everything that isn’t love was poured into togetherness and love for all, no one excluded. Loneliness would certainly be a thing of the past.
I often ponder how certain peoples end up living in very remote or isolated or downright inhospitable places. Surely it is far more amenable to live in temperate climes where there is no struggle with climate or weather extremes? And to live in places where there are enough people to sustain facilities and amenities and utilities not to mention social networks? Could it be these groups, wherever they occur, are on some level seeking separation and possibly even struggle?
‘…you are never alone…’ Yes, on a planet with 7 billion people no man can be an island. Yet we can feel as isolated as an Aussie in the outback. What are we choosing when we disconnect with others? I’m feeling we’re allowing our hurts to take over, that for some reason or the other, we have been hurt by people (or so we perceive it to be) and have shut down accordingly. Yet the decision to open up is but a hop, skip and jump away. Or maybe just one of those : )) Granted, we may have to spend some time unearthing our hurts, but beyond that it is a choice.
I know I have felt at my most loneliness when I am surrounded by people from not opening up and expressing how I felt from a fear of being judged or for not living up to something – ideals I suppose about how I felt I should be in comparison to others. I myself didn’t hold enough understanding of where I was at and that those people I thought were OK were probably just as confused as me. At those times I found it hard to reach out to anyone because I didn’t feel anyone could offer me the space of understanding where I was at – I wanted to come out but didn’t trust enough to actually say ‘hey I’m hurting’ but I want to do something about it. I feel understanding is key – we’re quick to judge others based on what we have been told – it’s like a knee jerk reaction and it happens so fast. If we allow ourselves the space to observe ourselves doing this and offer some deeper understanding for ourselves and others in turn then we can start to appreciate not only that quality but the quality that lies within everyone equally.
It was interesting to observe at the mention of a potential romance, I was keen to hear of a happy outcome of the ‘and we’re now together’ sort. Yet the happy ending was well and truly there – in Fiona’s expansion into a new way of connecting with many more than just one. A relationship with a special man would have simply been the icing on the cake, a confirmation – not the main story, so to speak.
‘…There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other…’ Fiona you have captured here exactly the sad nuances of most of our relationships; our tendency to run each other down. How sad that we (and I include myself in this) lean towards abuse rather than love of the sort you, I and many have seen reflected in Serge Benhayon and his family. Thank goodness we have been shown a different way.
‘The world is family’ Fiona and distance no barrier to true relationship. And yet there can be many barriers within the family we’re born into, no closeness, or true communication. I’ve taken responsibility for changing the quality of relationship I have with everyone, including the family I was born into who live across the world and on four continents. I’ve found quality of communication to be the basis of this and reaching out, not waiting for someone else to do so. It has been beautiful to see how relationships can be transformed when we truly love ourselves.
Fiona thank you. Loving all equally is the basis of true relationship. I remember a time when I felt love for one person and not another. To not love one is to not love anyone. I’ve learned to open up more and not reserve myself for some and not others. I’m appreciating what this means for me and the world.
‘So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ Wow, Fiona in this paragraph you have summed up what love is and how to live it, you are inspiring, thank you.
I really appreciate Fiona how you did not hold back from expressing your feelings to another just because they might not be reciprocated or impractical because of logistics. It shows clearly how we are here to express what we feel and when we are not invested it looking a particular way, we are all winners in a sense.
There are so many ideals and beliefs about what a true relationship should look like, however when we actually hold ourselves back from developing true and equal relationships with others it impacts our bodies so much.
I love how you have said this Fiona – “What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love”. We are all love in our true essence, but it takes commitment and dedication to be and live in that with such consistency as we see in Serge Benhayon and his family. What we see in them is simply a potential of who we truly are in action. I am not there yet, but I have a sense that it’s not about trying to love everyone equally, but about being the true love that cannot help but be equal to everyone unreservedly.
I too felt and feel exactly the same when I first met Serge and also when I saw how they were in their family. It was nothing I had seen or felt before but definitely something I resonated with and knew was deeply true. Every moment since I first witnessed this I have been inspired to also develop this depth of love in myself, my life and with my family and all others I meet.
This is pure beauty. ‘So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’
It is the pressure or perfection we place on needing for things to be a certain way that blinds us really to appreciate what is in front of us. Thank you I love the way you have shared this final paragraph of your blog. What a gem !
Yes I agree – when we expect ourselves, or another, to be perfect, it’s a huge amount of unnecessary pressure on the relationship that often crushes it and offers no room for growth and expansion.
Love is a movement and it’s about developing all relationships. These are gold Fiona and parts that rang super true from when I read your blog.
What stood out for me is the simplicity of relationships. And how I had by far made it about complications, hurts, needs and despair.. But how this has been turned upside down since I become a student of The Way of The Livingness in 2010. I am blessed to have come around a supportive business and community which helped me to open my eyes and see really who I am and what is going on in the world. I had many healings, sessions and worked on the relationship myself in order to be were I am now – but I could not do it without Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and the whole Benhayon family – Thank you is not enough, but living my way now – is everything I can give!
Thank you Fiona, this is such a big subject – one that has been totally misunderstood nowadays, and how much we seem to place all the expectations on each other – instead of feeling the truth of who we are and being in connection with each other. How amazing it is to become more real about it and look from your own eyes to someone and feel the love within yourself and equally for that person.. That is instantly a relationship, so guess what is awaiting?.. Guess how much beauty lays in relationships and a true evolution of All.
I love what you have shared Fiona, when we trust, open our hearts and express to one other person, we then have a marker in our body as to how this feels. We then have a choice to be this same love and intimacy with all others, not in in a physically intimate way, but we can let people into our hearts and express our love to them, with out the fear of being hurt, as what really hurts us is not another person but when we close our hearts and protect from others.
“So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other, tenderly nurturing each of our strengths and qualities so we can learn from each other and be inspired by the people around us – our own family members. The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.”
The way we judge, criticize, put down or become jealous of one another, prevents us evolving and working together unified as humanity, in separation and competition from one another we are always less, in unity and equality we can build the great Pyramid(s).
An important reminder that ‘It’s about loving someone in a way that allows them to be themselves, regardless of what is going on in their lives: seeing them for who they truly are and not for what they do or how they behave at times.’ This is important as it’s about taking away any sense of judgement about someone else’s behaviour or removing any investment in them being a certain way to fulfil our needs. Just let people be.
“It’s nurturing someone deeply and loving them in a way where they feel cared for, respected, held, safe and above all, where they can trust you.”
This is great Fiona, as when we hold or treat another in this way, we confirm them in the love that they are, and in this love we are one and the same, there is no separation or division, love unifies and unites us, it’s a universal language we all understand, we know and we all trust.
I loved your blog Fiona, I also felt a sadness and missing this love and deep connection to others, yet when I look at my life its all there, I have a gorgeous family and friends and also people I meet in the street. So what am I missing one would ask, I realized I don’t completely let the people and love that is there in, and also don’t appreciate myself and the tender gorgeous man I am, although compared to a few years ago I have come so far in this regard, there is still some way to go, and that starts with stopping and smelling the flowers and appreciating all the love I currently have in my life.
Hi Thomas. I love what you share. I too can get caught up in not appreciating myself fully because I always want to be more rather than adoring and nurturing all that I am. And the more I find I stop and appreciate, the less anxious I feel about being an idea that I have, and just letting me be me and that who I am is enough.
We have endless opportunities to build true connections with others whether we are going to know them for along time or we are just passing them by, it’s what we do with these opportunities that count.
The Benahyon family are incredibly playful with each other and deeply loving, the interactions and exchanges I have been fortunate enough to observe are inspiring and beautiful to watch.
Reading your words Fiona is like being held like a baby. No matter what I might do, its like I can feel your care shining through. Amazing how in the end, Love is this absolute simplicity where there is no grand gesture of thing we need to say, but just a series of movements that flow from knowing the grandness we all are.
That’s so beautifully put Joseph
This is a beautiful sharing Fiona. I can see we never stop learning in relationships, everyone of them equally as important as the others. To me I am starting to acknowledge that we are all connected and therefore we are all brothers equally, and all deserving of love.
What a beautiful piece of writing Fiona. And so revealing of the way we place cold logic and reason ahead of the warmth and simplicity of love. We yearn for the love that is all around us because logic disagrees it cannot be so. Let go of that so called rationality, and the love is there…and always was. The Benhayon’s are a grand mirror, reflecting the capacity we all have in spades, to be love, and move in accordance to its way.
I love your analogy Rachel. I remember going to school and always thinking – I don’t want to learn about physics – I want to know why you don’t feel great today or why I don’t feel great today. It was a science for me – understanding me and when I connected to love – it simply all fell into place and made sense and now I love learning from you about science.
Fiona thank you for a beautiful blog that offers so much to ponder. Expressing appreciation to the people in our lives is key. Your words to the lonely elderly lady were wise indeed – whenever I express my appreciation to some one it deepens my love and care for all, and brings richness and joy to life.
Anne it’s lovely to feel what you bring with your sharing here, to me this expression of appreciation is something that I can see we often shy from but is something that builds a real depth of appreciation for everyone in our lives. Like you I know when I express my appreciation for someone, not only do they get deeply touched but so do I. When I move on and meet the next person I carry a deeper overall appreciation which they then feel. And on it goes, appreciation for self, and others is really and truly something that benefits all.
I can remember feeling quite sad in the early days of observing the Benhayon family together because of what it reflected to me – that there was a lack of true relationship in my own family. But many years on, I’ve been inspired by the Benhayons no end and have taken this to my own family. And without doing or saying anything about this to my family, but by me choosing to be more loving with myself, and with them, the relationship I have with my family has changed enormously.
It is so common in a work environment to treat people in a way that we would never treat those we consider dear and close to us. But what I’ve discovered is, the more I treat everyone – a stranger on the street to my closest friend or family member – in the same way – with respect, decency and care, all of my relationships feel more intimate and closer. It’s very lovely to share an intimate moment through a brief conversation with someone who you may never see again and not miss the opportunity.
Fiona, what you offer here is priceless, it has reminded me to give to others what I crave to receive and stop searching for perfection in all my relationships. Love and respect as you point out are key, sounds simple but for me if I am not doing the basics, then I am gone and often when things get bad we will make them seem big and hard but most of the time the reason we have wondered off track is because we have let the basics slip away.
I love how you say things Sarah :). Yes I completely agree and it’s really great when we get a deeper understanding that everyone is going to be different – so how can we have an expectation anyway because no one person is going to be exactly the same in what their level of relationship is at – therefore it’s so important to see the imperfections but understand them and not judge them for not doing what we want them to do. But instead to offer support around those imperfections so we grow together. There is always lots to appreciate.
I love this line “It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” So much is expressed through the quality of our movements and we can all feel this.
Reading your blog Fiona allowed me to connect to the appreciation I have for each one of my family members. Every one of them expressing different qualities and strengths. My family these days has expanded and includes many others not related by birth and I appreciate all the different reflections we offer each other.
When we connect to Love it can but only grow, as the true nature of Love is Oneness. It is only through our surrender to Love that the Oneness of Love is truly known and lived with all.
I have found myself moving through life with expectations on others. Expectation does is not give another the room to be themselves. I fill the space with how I think things should be and I have forever been disappointed when others do not meet the high bar I have set. In recent years I’ve been far more aware of this and have allowed much more space for people to be who they truly are and to accept and appreciate them in this. From here, I have been allowing true relationships.
That’s beautiful Nikki
Nikki you have really nailed it here, I can relate to how having expectations continually lead to disappointment, even of myself, and how in this we miss the beauty inherent in each one of us and the potential to truly connect moment to moment. It also highlights the needs we have of others to be a certain way, and that this need can relate to the emptiness we still have within ourselves that looks to another to fill, instead of being full with our own love.
We are united by love, not blood. We are all family who have allowed ourselves to become separated from each other when we made the choice to not live the love that we are.
“The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.”
Thankyou Fiona, this is the key as to why we live so divided from each other. As a society we are quick to criticise and slow to truly appreciate what is right before our eyes, both within us and within each other. One need only look at the nature of our so called entertainment such as reality TV shows and competitive sports to see where we are letting our humanness slip. We are love and as such to not express this love invokes a pain that sees us act in ways counter to the love we all innately are.
So true Liane, it is like we play out the opposite of what is truth and it so obvious because we also feel the truth when we witness or experience the pain. What a set up!
A few years ago I watched Natalie and Curtis Benhayon on stage presenting True Movement. Curtis at one point made the comment he was not just a pretty face. In many other families this would have been followed with a playful remark but most likely one that would be diminishing. Natalie however responded with something along the lines of “You’re more than a pretty face”. This one moment has stayed with me as I realised what love, true relationships and family are. Snide remarks said in jest and playful mocking is something most of us have grown up with. If we protest against the mocking we get told to lighten up. But the truth is mocking diminishes another and is not love. Since that day I have not allowed mocking in my house, I say something when I see kids and adults mock each other and I’m far more aware of my own actions.
Nikki that’s gorgeous and I too have witnessed that with the Benhayon family. Put downs come in all shapes and forms and we all know instantly when it doesn’t feel right. I have also been the perpetrator of such abuse in the past with my own brother – sadly – as I grew up in an environment where this was the normal way to be with each other. I’ve also seen the devastation that that can cause and how when I realised what I was doing and how I changed towards him and appreciated him for the qualities he brings to my family how he started to grow and bloom in so many ways that were really amazing to me and I got a real sense of how everything we do and say does affect everyone around us.
This is a really supportive conversation, mocking is a huge part of Australian life yet as you point out it is hurtful, the appreciation of another’s qualities instead is so very powerful as demonstrated by the experience with your brother Fiona. I can still be a bit teasing at times so this is something for me to really examine now and look at letting go of. Nikki, Natalie’s response to Curtis shows how we can hold others in a way that always lovingly reminds them they are more, instead of confirming the low worth, supposed weaknesses, or faults, even if it’s done in jest.
‘The more you appreciate and value yourself and each other, the more love grows.’ I have certainly found this for myself. A loving relationship with anyone is not possible unless you have a loving appreciative one with yourself first. When appreciation is one of your foundations it is very easy then to see and appreciate in another their unique qualities. I have also found that when you hold steady in what you know to be true without getting caught up in drama and turmoil it supports another to do the same. Joy in a mutual connection then becomes a very natural event.
What you have expressed here Fiona is one of the most beautiful things about Serge Benhayon’s student body – the development of love for self and love for all equally.
It certainly is Melinda and there are several people that I’ve never met before even that I still feel this deep respect, care and love for. It never stops – it just gets more and more.
A ‘movement of love’ – such a beautiful and honoring way to describe Serge Benhayon and how he is with every one he meets. I have also experienced he is absolute love personified. You are met with the greatness that you are within, you are met in essence and never anything less regardless whether this is being lived or not, no judgement only with love. With being held in this way I have only ever been inspired to deepen my connection to the love I am through being willing to understand what is getting in the way of living from my essence, from my love more freely. This has led me to deeply feel that love I am within is the love we all are. Being met in this way is a blessing and reflects the way, the quality that we too can bring to and develop in our relationships with whoever we meet and wherever we are, at home, at work and everywhere in between.
Yes, the movement of Love is not saved for one person is it? It is for all equally if we make our movements align to our own natural essence, always discerning, rather than play to the rhythm of the ‘normal’ around us.
Thank you Fiona, simply love your blog, it shares so much about the truth of love and the reality that we can only be love firstly by being self-loving and then by truly seeing love in another.
The more you appreciate, the more love grows. How beautiful is that and also very much my experience. When I want true intimacy with people, there has to be appreciation. Without it, it is not possible to have a true relationship.
This blog is absolutely lovely to read Fiona. How tempting it is to wish ourselves a part of something ‘over there’ when all along we are given opportunities to develop truly loving relationships with the people in our lives. The loving way shown by the Benhayon’s is incredibly inspiring and I deeply appreciate being reminded of what true love looks like.
What you said to the lady at the bus stop is so true, we have to be open to see the relationships around us on realise we are never alone. What a beautiful conversation that must have been.
I love these moments the best Lucy because I tend not to hold as many expectations around people I meet for a few minutes so I often find I’m more open. Sometimes the people who are closest to us are the ones we hold the most expectation of so it’s learning to let everyone in equally without any judgment or need on my part.
I enjoyed reading how learning to let in this man and express the love you felt for him allowed you to deepen your love for others around you and start to express this more. It gave me a new understanding of what was happening for me. I have been someone who has never fully dropped the guard and let people in, I carry protection and although will get close I always back away a bit when it gets too close.
I have recently started dating someone and the commitment scares me. I find it difficult to express my love and so instead of taking the steps you have I can feel I am backing away in all my relationships- it is devastating to feel this, there is still more to let go of about being this warrior and doing it on my own.
So beautifully shared Fiona, thank you. The looking out and longing is just an illusion to keep us from what we already are with-in. As you share how can we be lonely if our hearts are open to the loveliness we all already are equally? Permission to feel this and know this to be true is all that is needed and the next moment takes care of the possibilities, offering the “movement of Love”.
Hi Sandra. I agee and what I really felt when I read your comment was how we start to compare ourselves with others – feeling that what we have is not enough – when in truth there are relationships of love to be had every moment of every day – starting with ourselves first from the moment we wake to the moment we go to bed and all the other moments we share in between with everyone we come across – no matter who they are.
Simply expressing our true feelings is the most beautiful and yet natural way of life, a way which very powerfully would restore connection and intimacy in the world.
“There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving.” I noticed this as well Fiona and have been learning that relationships can feel amazing, without guards and protection. This is, without doubt, from seeing what is possible through the relationships of Serge Benhayn and his family. What has inspired me most is that we can all have that level of love and relationships in our lives, we simply need to choose a deeper love than the one we call normal.
That’s beautiful Lucy – thank you
Fiona, it is so lovely how you share what a true relationship looks like as the way you have expressed it, the reader can really feel. This makes for an invitation to explore our own relationships in this same lovely and most natural way. Because when we take all of those apparent issues away, we are all left with our equally amazing and loving selves.
Thank you Fiona for reminding me and deepening my knowing that I/we all hold within myself everything that I observe and seek outside of myself. It is truly empowering when I connect with this.
We have so many opportunities every day to be in a relationship with someone even if we do not know them. Often we can be so guarded when there are people we do not know in our presence but in fact we know and are connected to everyone! I agree, Fiona, that the Benhayon family are living examples of how to connect to everyone equally.
Yes we absolutely do. And with ourselves in every moment in the day.
Hi Anne. And of course we can’t forget that the biggest opportunty for this is relationship with ourself first and foremost – opening ourselves up to the fact that we are love – with no perfection but just absolute fun and playfullness. Thank you for your comment.
Fiona you nailed it. What you have expressed here is absolute gold. Especially considering the fact that most of our issues we face as a human race are actually caused by illnesses in our relationships which is basically just love that has not been expressed in full to one another.
I so agree Joshua. What Fiona has shared from the true way Serge Benhayon relates to all is the antidote to all the dysfunction and illness in relationships. – love
Absolutely Joshua – expession is so big a part of it. And I know what I’ve done in the past is to avoid those times when it doesn’t feel good and not really said how I feel. I’m learning to express how I feel more and more and when I do it may be uncomfortable at first but I have to say that what I’m finding is that the more I do say how I feel the more intimacy I have with the person I’m expressing to. It’s not so much the issue – it’s just being able to express my own feelings so that I can get past those feelings that hold me back or down in some way and then that opens me up past the issue. It feels very supportive for not only me for the other person. Obviously it is always said in a way that is in total respect and understanding of the other person at the time – just giving us the space to go deeper and not give up because we’ve reached a certain point again.
This is simply a Gorgeous blog. Being the same with everybody requires an openness and a willingness to see the Beauty and feel the Love in every one. As well as you Fiona, I open up more and more, appreciate more and more and within this come back to the one and only True value in life – LOVE. Thank you for sharing your experiences and Wisdom. It is indeed much appreciated!
A beautiful blog Fiona – thank you! I whole-heartedly agree with your expression about Serge Benhayon and his family.
It was the same when I first met them – I had never experienced a family in this way before – so much love between them and really enjoying being together, especially as they live and work in very close proximity. What an awesome true role model the Benhayon family is, living in a true and natural way for human beings -something we can learn all from and bring to our own relationships with the same quality and equal-ness for all.
This is super beautiful, thank you Fiona. I particularly love how you where with the lady at the bus stop, already communicating with her like this shows that we are never alone. We all deeply care for another but we have forgotten how to express it and let expectations come between us.
And there are so many moments like that Esther – all around us – all of the time. Even yesterday I had the most beautiful conversation in the shop where I work with a customer and I really felt like we were so open to each other in that moment that no matter what was said – the feeling of love was just there and will always be.
It’s never felt comfortable to treat someone as a guest when growing up. But the openness that Serge Benhayon and his family have with everyone takes this to a whole new level. As I continue to drop the guards I hold up to myself and others it changes ones relationship with life because our relationship with people changes. We can’t stop being around people in life no matter how hard we try by psychical means or focused on a screen, trying only perpetuates the tension. What Serge shares is that there is much joy to be experienced when we open up to people.
All what Fiona shares here I can confirm. The love they share is easy to feel and also to recognise from what we carry within us. I just didn’t express it so much in life anymore. They don’t do their best to be loving, they just are and with that they give the inspiration for many to step up, out of the energy of giving up on ourselves which we lived in for so long.
Lovely words Fiona..”So instead of seeking perfection in another, how about we appreciate and value each other” Such a nice reminder to be willing to meet other and ourselves with the same acceptance of our grandness and our imperfections.
It’s true Joel that often we see the imperfections first from the ideals and expectations that we hold individually towards others coming from our own lack of acceptance. It’s so easy to be critical and always a lot harder to appreciate what others bring to us. I remember when I first realised that others could see love in me and how upset I would get and then I realised the reason I was really sad was that I couldn’t give mself that love for me – that’s when it really started to change for me and I started to accept myself and realise there were so many beautiful things to see and yes I still have the imperfections and that’s OK – I’m still learning and deepening everything.
What a beautiful blog Fiona sharing the magic that happens when we open ourselves to love.
What has stunned me through watching the Benhayons and listening to them present – is how much love is equal. Equally there for all and equally to be shared by all. And we can’t be ‘on’ with some and not with others’. We are on with all or none.
I totally agree Sarah. There is no on or off switch. It is either on with everyone or off with everyone. It’s quite amazing that we can think otherwise.
Hi Fiona, you can see in your eyes from your photo that you are living the quality of what you have presented here. You look gorgeous – thank you for all you have shared.
Fiona there is a lot in what you share here, how our family actually includes our wider circle of people in our lives, our workmates and our friends. And how when we live with a deep love for ourselves, that this actually expands even wider to love those we meet in the street and with that holding love we know exactly what is needed for them in that moment, and out it comes, either in our words, our touch or the grace in which we meet them. Our love is never meant to be held back from another.
That is gorgeous Leigh and so true. We often see ourselves as isolated or alone yet could be having those feelings whilst sitting next to someone on the bus that’s completely full. How many people actually feel alone because they don’t have someone they consider to be family when the truth is we are all part of one big family – all we have to do is hold less judgment for each other and develop an understanding that allows people to be and feel who they are not who they think they should be.
What a fantastic reminder Fiona of the inspiring example of Serge Benhayon and his family, and that they don’t keep the quality of relationships with themselves but have this same quality, love and respect within all their relationships, – whether it’s someone they’ve just met or someone they’ve known for much longer. They have provided a role model of how all relationships are naturally meant to be.
A very gorgeous article Fiona. I have to agree you can’t help but notice how Serge Benhayon and his family are with each other so respectful and so much more overtime I see them together. This does not change because anyone is around on not around. The consistency is incredible really. With this comes the inspiration, not because anyone is saying do it this way. But watching all of the relationships blossom of those who are around Serge or Universal Medicine is stunning to see. It’s no wonder that so many people Love all of the Benhayons.
I totally agree Jennifer and it was only when I let go of wanting to be part of someone else’s family or friends that I realised how many people I had around me and that until I opened up to them I would never be part of this world. And how in turn this made me part of every group because there is no boundary to love – just a feeling of holding, respect, understanding and allowing of each other.
loved this. Often once we give love an inch, it can walk all over us 😉 by letting it out to one, and allowing ourselves to be with it -naturally it flows through us. “It was more than words – it was a movement of love.” simply gorgeous.
I Learned so much from reading this thank you! We have people around us no matter what we do, and they are our family! Loved what you shared about expressing your feelings to someone across the globe, love literally knows no bounds, and this frees us up to be more loving in other areas of our life.
Hi Harrison. Yes it’s gorgeous when we let go of the boundaries and open up to everyone in our life – even the moments when we meet someone for just a few minutes.
Absolutely. And perfection and boundaries cease our acceptance of another.
Very true Fiona. So much can happen in those few moments, much much more than our eyes can see.
Near or far, love is love.
Fiona, your blog confirms for me that relationships are with everybody, all the time, not just reserved for close family and friends. Understanding the true meaning of love sets the foundation for what a true relationship then is, and all the wonderfulness that will of course follow.
So true. Love how you expressed that, simpel and easy. Fiona thank You for sharing it feels really intimate.
‘What struck me most at the time was how he was the same with everyone equally so. It was more than words – it was a movement of love’. ‘A movement of love!’ Wow, Fiona you have encapsulated something that can’t be either contained or explained, that’s pretty extraordinary!
Yes, the moment we express love, it allows us to express love much more in other areas as well.
Exactly. I have found that when we accept and surrender to the love we are in some areas then we are called to bring this love to all areas in our lives.
And when people resist as some do the love they are being shown, keep loving, never back away from loving them. Because I have found it’s the people that resist the most that actually are the ones that are crying out to be met with true love but feel so hurt they try to dismiss and reject the love they want the most.
Wow gorgeous blog Fiona. I am touched by the deep quality you share here and it left me with the feeling that we can make our relationships with everyone how we want them to be by expressing in a loving and caring way with everyone. I can feel that even if others do not always come back with the same depth of love it is very nurturing for ourselves to express respectful, loving and with playfulness. As you described so beautifully in this line: “There were no sharp words, no digs or put downs, no teasing or using humour to cover up a little snipe at each other; it was just respectful, full of fun and deeply loving.”
Fiona, relationships are the fabric of life and so there really is no-thing more valuable for us to focus on.