Have we limited tenderness to the quality of meat or something expressed between lovers, or parents and their children? It seems to me that tenderness is much bigger than this and that it starts with how we treat ourselves in a million small ways throughout the day.
With a little awareness and focus we can soon become masters of tenderness, enriching our lives (and those we share it with) in remarkable ways.
Have you experienced a tender moment?
A tender touch?
A tender thought?
Have you beheld a tender act?
Just asking these questions returns me to the tenderness I have felt – it seems to be something that is alive in me and when I reconnect with it, it melts me, and whatever I’m doing, I can’t help but be tender with.
Tenderness flows from within me and through me. Tenderness can be felt in my voice, my touch, my thoughts, my ears and my eyes. It may sound funny, but even my taste becomes tender when I allow it.
There are things that I notice when I allow myself be tender:
- My body lets go. I notice how I’ve been holding my shoulders tight or my forearms hard… the tension drops away.
- When I take my time, with no rush or force, suddenly I have a sense of having plenty of time.
- I feel with my whole body, and thinking from here leads the way.
- Tenderness is definite and delicate all at once, with purpose, not wishy-washy at all.
- I have focus with no indecisiveness (or indecision) in what to do, everything is clear and simple.
- The choice to allow tenderness feels powerful, deliberate and not half-hearted.
- I am more playful, not rough or imposing, but light, open and full.
- I am super-present – in the moment, not before or beyond it, or even thinking of anything else.
- I enjoy the fullness of love, accepting the joy and letting it out and in.
These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being, available whenever the choice is made and applicable well beyond special moments with a select few. Tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair – it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything.
Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.
It is there for us all equally, naturally, easily whenever we choose to let its remarkable ways unfold as we go about our day to day lives, all the richer with it.
Inspired by the work of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
By Adrienne Hutchins, Brisbane, Australia
It is amazing but just reading your blog again Adrienne I could feel a flow of tenderness wash over me. So my question has to be why do I only allow this tenderness in my body while reading a blog about it? Why is it that we do not allow tenderness to be our everyday bodily experience but instead have replace it with hardness?
A beautifully clear explanation of how it feels to be connected to Soul.
Have you beheld a tender act?
Yes, I was on a plane and I noticed a couple as I walked around and the woman was stroking the back of her husband’s hand while he slept with such delicateness and sweet tenderness. It is a moment that I will cherish always that there can be such a loving connect between two people devoid of any emotion.
Thank you. Just reading this article brings a flow of tenderness through my body
Sometimes I can feel how much I resist tenderness, I just don’t want to go there, of course I lose out when this happens and so do those around me.
It’s like being served a meal you know has been cooked with love, we all do feel and appreciate the love and tenderness others can care for us with.
Thanks Adrienne, it’s so inspiring to read this again and look at my relationship with my own tenderness. I know growing up tenderness was seen as insipid and wishy-washy, something that was relegated to caring for babies and for romance, but it is actually an innate quality that we all equally have. Feeling inspired to bring more tenderness to myself and others!
Reading this reminded me of how I can connect to tenderness whenever.
As you say Adrienne ‘it seems to be something that is alive in me and when I reconnect with it, it melts me, and whatever I’m doing’ – when we connect to the all embracing feeling of tenderness we know we have come back home to our essence. Why would we be any other way?
Thank you for this blog. I had allowed myself to get anxious and stressed and my whole body had started to shrivel and get tense. My decision to take break and read some blogs has been so supportive and this one in particular is allowing me the space to come back to a me that is spacious and tender….very lovely.
I have lived being very hard on myself for a long time, tenderness does absolutely melt the hardness so I have been cultivating more and more tenderness in my life and the hardness is melting.
Thank you for sharing your exquisite elements of tenderness and how healing they are to the body, it is simply our choice to bring them into our everyday lives.
Tenderness is very lovely to feel in the body, ‘My body lets go. I notice how I’ve been holding my shoulders tight or my forearms hard… the tension drops away.’
We are more rich when we live from our heart, which is where our tenderness is present. Therefor allowing it to come out.
Your point that our body actually changes when we are tender is super important, it’s great to acknowledge that we are always contributing to the state our body is in by the quality we choose – and the way we treat ourselves and move and touch things contributes to whether our body feels amazing or hard and tired at the end of the day.
Being tender is natural for us but we have created a way of being and living full of demands and self-impositions that hardens up and tense our precious body. Connecting deeper with ourselves supports us to understand why being tender is not for the weak ones or for a selected few, but who we are, truly powerful and very wise from our very essence.
Adrienne your sharing feels like a warm bath of tenderness, my body feels now very yummy and expanded, thank you
I discovers this week that tenderness allows space, from where I can surrender to the rhythm for whatever is there to be done. And the most amazing side effect of it: it fills me up with so much love I don’t feel to eat things that don’t support this quality.
I have recently developed more of a connection to my own tenderness, I would say both Esoteric Yoga and Sacred Movement have supported this. Since I first read your blog I can see how I have become more aware of tenderness and what it brings into life and I agree with all your dots points, tenderness is definitely powerful, purposeful, and brings a sense of focus. It’s truly lovely to feel it within me and in my movements.
Oooo, just reading what you have written about tenderness has inspired me to feel that in my body as I type this morning, not to go searching for it, but to actually appreciate it in my body and therefore bring it into my activity (typing) consciously, not unconsciously. So thank you, as I will take that physical memory into my day today.
I am also learning to clock my thoughts during the day. Do they honour and support me to live tenderly in everything I do or do they abuse and send me down a spiral of living in disregard? We can allow our thoughts to rule the roost if we are not present and discerning as to where they have come from.
We are presented with an opportunity in every moment to be tender with ourselves and when I am tender with myself I feel so different than when I am not aware or connected to the tenderness inside me, the main feeling is that I can feel me and know that living tenderly is my natural way of being.
Tenderness certainly is a universal quality that when moved by this, expresses the grace of love that we all innately are.
Thank you for this beautiful reminder of the absolute power in tenderness. Being tender with ourselves and the world around us is the doorway to the wonder and magic of life.
It’s a great point that tenderness can be there all day everyday, we do innately know this quality because we often bring it out for babies and children, yet it’s there in full for ourselves as well.
It is often something we all deeply love, to be held with tenderness. When we look at modern day life there is a frenetic pace and drive and with this our movements become racey and then the tenderness is disconnected from.
It is wonderful to take a moment to ponder tenderness. I have always seen tenderness as a way of moving but your words remind me that tenderness is a quality first and foremost.
We are naturally tender, beautiful and sweet.. To accept that is asking a lot from us; as we have made our ways so unnaturally that it is at times hard to indeed feel and accept that we are tender, naturally so. This blog is a reminder of how important it is that we accept our tenderness (who we are) again – and forever. To hold it dear.
A daily dose of tenderness or several supports us to surrender into the expansiveness that is always on offer when we make the choice to be tender in whatever we are doing.
I have a sore right arm at the moment and went to have a massage to support it. At the start of the session, I got to feel that I had almost abandoned my right arm as it felt like it was hanging off my arm as some appendage and not really part of my body at all. It was almost like I was angry at it for being sore and did not want it to be part of my body. Then during the session, the woman doing the massage touched my arm with so much tenderness that tears started to fall out of my eyes. Her tenderness melted the hardness that I was in around my arm. It reconnected my arm energetically to the rest of my body. Tenderness melts hardness for sure.
Being touched by Tenderness is such a life-changing event, which is open to us all when we are ready to feel what is happening with a touch by that level of love from a simple laying of a hand on your arm.
This blog is foundational for me, one of my pillars for appreciating me when I’ve let the stuff seem greater and more complicated than the simplicity of connecting to my tenderness and preciousness.
Tenderness for me means a deep surrender in my body that allows an honest, simple and loving encounter with myself and others.
I come alive too through tenderness – I can feel and register love in my body. Treating myself in tenderness, especially when I feel anxiousness, in pain or hurt, I can remain with myself while confirming more and more tender in my movements subsiding the pain. My feelings become hypnotic and I feel more of a settling than to feel abrupt and harsh towards myself because of the pain.
This a very powerful way of being Rik, holding ourselves in tenderness to let go of the pain and reconnect back to love inside us. Thanks for sharing
Tenderness is gigantically powerful to me. When I am feeling separate from myself, lost, doubting, then it is through tenderness, through even reading about tenderness, through re-connecting to that expression in me, that I come back to myself. Tenderness and Appreciation are life jackets for me in the storms of life.
It was great to read this, this morning as normally on a Monday morning I can brace myself and get ready to go into the day in that way. It was good to be reminded to stay with a tenderness as it brings a quality to my day.
Re reading your blog this morning made me more aware how my choice to use indecisiveness a lot has also affected living my tenderness and it is true when I choose to doubt, think over again and again is never about being in my body, feeling my natural tenderness. It is all about avoiding clarity and simplicity in my life.
Yes Annelies, it is about the lightness in how we are being and living the simplicity of life.
I remember a long time ago when I was ill and felt fragile how tenderness became so important to me. I even began closing my letters with “in tenderness. ” Gradually I began to accept the non tenderness in life and became less tender with myself also. I so appreciate in recent years to come back to this quality and have it be consciously felt and acknowledged and valued once again.
Knowing and living with tenderness is the most wonderful foundation, which has the bonus of letting me knowing when something isn’t so I can stop for a moment and consider how to continue with my movements next.
Thanks Adrienne, reading your blog today has offered me a deeper insight into tenderness, and inspired me to be more present with this quality and explore its effects further.
This is such a beautiful and power offering to allow what ever is interrupting a consistent tender flow in movement and thought to be observed and allowed to move on.
Tenderness is one of the gateways to not being hard on ourselves or seeking perfection in what we do. Holding ourselves in tenderness is a blanket of self love that melts away such harshness.
There is no doubt that we can all too easily get caught up in the rush and whirlwind of the world around us and this gets reflected in the way that we move – but I am realising that when I become aware of this I always have the opportunity to stop and begin again – and if I use tenderness to found my next movement I can always bring myself back to a quality that feels awesome in my body.
That you – Adrienne, you make such value point: Tenderness melts away any hardness. I just had shivers when I truly felt what you meant by that… It is our choice of tenderness that helps heal the hardness, protection and pain we might hold in our bodies.
I lovingly appreciate the fine and tender nature of my hands and I love watching other people’s hands and how they move. Tenderness is a universal movement and one we can all appreciate and enjoy.
Once we have felt true tenderness and how the body responds to this, then experiencing hardness again feels like a huge assault on the body, and is so far removed from our true self.
Being tender with ourselves is a much needed quality in life. It is a first step to a life that cares, both for ourselves and for each other.
Tenderness is an amazing tool and great foundation for our everyday lives; our medicine for the stress, tension and raciness that we mistakenly think we need to resort to in order to get through the day.
I can relate to what you say “Just asking these questions returns me to the tenderness I have felt – it seems to be something that is alive in me and when I reconnect with it, it melts me, and whatever I’m doing, I can’t help but be tender with.” It’s that melting in the body which really connects to the tenderness.
As I read this blog again it made me melt into the tenderness of how we once were as a baby and held with such tenderness. I cherish when I am received with such delicateness, it makes me feel loved and the tension melts away.
To be tender is to let go. Simply bringing our attention to where we are holding tension in our body and then allowing it to release it’s grip is a pretty powerful exercise. Something I need to do this very moment!!
This blog has been timely in where I am in my life – it’s a great reminder of bringing tenderness in all that we do including our thoughts, it brings us back to who we truely are from when we were babies.
Embracing our tenderness is the gateway to being open to receiving and confirming the vibration of the Divinity that we are and are from. As it is our tenderness that communicates to the world the Divinity we are here to live together.
This is beautiful to read and come back to. We cannot be reminded enough how tender we actually are and that we can choose this tenderness in every moment.
I’m practicing the tenderness of packing to move – something I’ve had a it of practice with the past months. I actually enjoy taking care to make boxes, wrap, pack, seal and label. I know this imprint will reflect out when the boxes are open at their destination and this will be another opportunity to be super tender and have conscious presences as items are unpacked and unwrapped. I can feel writing this that when this phase happens it will be a great time to check in if the item truly serves for my new home or perhaps it is time to let it move on. Tenderness in movements and thoughts offer new levels of awareness and unfolding constantly.
Tenderness begins with ourselves first and from this foundation flows out to all others. In reflection this blog makes me aware of how little we incorporate the word ‘tender’ into our everyday language and way of describing what we observe especially in the men in our lives. We all have tenderness within but hold it back because of the judgement from others it sometimes elicits. This blog gives all who read it an opportunity to expand their living way to include more tenderness to self and towards others.
Tenderness is the gateway to sensitivity and sensitivity is the gateway to the Soul.
Such a beautiful blog to read Adrienne, thank you, as I read it I feel the tenderness rising in my body with a gentle warmth . “Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few. ” it is who we innately are.
Thank you Adrienne, as I read your blog I can feel the warmth of the sun and the tenderness within. I love what you have expressed here;
“Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.”
Beautiful Adrienne, when I feel all of what tenderness is, it’s the feeling of God running through my body.
Expressing from our tenderness is a blessing for humanity, it ripples out to the universe and back. The more we express this natural quality within us, the more we eliminate the hard, tough and superficial façades we have created.
It feels enormously empowering to read this blog again – and confirming too, as I realise how much more I have embraced my tenderness since that last time I read your beautiful words Adrienne. The tenderness that we feel within allows us to reach out to others and to express freely and openly – and when I do I can feel the other person melting into their own tenderness and touching that part of their soul, a moment when two souls truly meet.
Tenderness is the quality of our light and love made physically manifest.
So beautiful and so true, Liane – it is us embodying our tenderness and then freely expressing this out into the world.
Thank you Adrienne for the inspiration to walk tenderly upon the Earth with every move I make.
Tenderness is a loving prescription for every moment in life, it is the foundational ingredient and I have the choice to never leave myself for anything less.
Tender and tenderness are such lovely words that have been much less bastardised in our language than words like Love.
This is something I have been bringing more focus to in my life. I have often held my body quite tense and hard- on high alert you could say, waiting for something to go wrong. I am learning to surrender and not live life in this way- the more I do this the more I am able to notice what is going on around me and what is needed in each situation.
I love your list of what happens when you are tender, for me it is a great way to return to conscious presence – not only do I feel the tenderness at my fingertips on my skin, I can feel my my arms relax, my back release its tension, my voice changes, losing its hard edge, and the rest of my body comes into alignment. It’s a gorgeous feeling.
I used to limit showing my tenderness only to people close to me, now I understand we can choose to be in tenderness 24/7 with not just our love ones but with everyone. Showing my tenderness is actually a strength, a loving expression that is naturally within me and all of us.
“These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being, available whenever the choice is made and applicable well beyond special moments with a select few”.
Indeed Adrienne, available whenever we choose; thank you for highlighting this fact.
You have brought us all such a healing with your blog Adrienne, as we keep coming back and re-connecting while all the time building a deeper sense of tenderness within our bodies. At last we are beginning to realise that it is all down to the choices we make as we go through our day – whether to block with hardness or to connect more deeply with our innate tenderness. The more times I connect to the tenderness, and choose to feel and stay with the expansion I feel, the greater and more committed the connection becomes.
“These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being, available whenever the choice is made and applicable well beyond special moments with a select few.” For all the ills in society, it is amazing to feel that we have only to chose to reconnect to the natural tenderness we all hold within to heal ourselves. So why don’t we all simply do this? Could it be that we are not prepared to live that level of responsibility, choosing instead to blame others, circumstances, genes etc for all our ills and woes?
It is so beautiful to read and feel the truth of your words, Lucy. Until we commit to living a deeper sense of responsibility and acceptance we will still only get to feel glimpses of the glory that we truly are within.
Tenderness is natural to our bodies, if I am not with myself and harden, I feel cold and I place a distance between me and others because I do not feel connected. While if I choose to feel and be in my tenderness it is all that you have described and it can lead me to that place of sacredness.
I agree it is very natural to our body to be in our tenderness, hence why I feel tension in my body when I am not living from my tenderness.
Beautiful to feel Adrienne, our bodies do know tenderness and this quality is truly nourishing when we connect and live with it. It IS like the warmth of the sun, we simply need to allow ourselves to be touched by it.
There is so much healing that comes from tenderness. An opportunity to stop and connect to the innate feeling of openness from one person to another and a great way to bring a deeper understanding of a quality we all possess.
Most exquisite, Adrienne, thank you. It is fascinating how, by a simple notion as introducing and living with more tenderness we enrich our lives so manifold, and with no extra cost.
As I contemplate living on my own again I can feel a deep vulnerability coming up and I welcome this as another opportunity to connect to my tenderness and to appreciate the power that this offers me as I appreciate that tenderness brings it’s own quality of strength and support.
Shirley it’s great to be reminded that tenderness is contagious, people can catch on in a few ways: simply being present and picking up on tender actions and movements, or being physically touched tenderly and responding from this in their next movement. This is so worth catching on.
I have always had this idea that I need to hold my body in a certain level of strength and I have seen this as being a certain size. As I have lost weight I have felt quite vulnerable and it has challenged me- how do I do my job if I am not seen to be tough however I am coming to learn that much is communicated by how we move and that it is this that communicates strength and my body in its bigger size communicates protection and that to truly move to my strength I actually need to be more tender.
As we connect to the word tenderness the whole of our body responds and expands as we open up to feel our true way of expression – and we return to our natural vibration in alignment with the universe. As we embrace tenderness within we can feel connected to our natural rhythm with the all in one harmonious movement.
Lovely Susan, tenderness does truly communicate… naturally we become in rhythm with ourselves, others and the universe.
Reading your words is an invitation to tenderness.
Tenderness for me is the key to harmony. It is all the lovely qualities you offer Adrienne which brings a sense of lightness to everything and a spaciousness that opens up to connect more deeply to the essence of myself and everyone.
Tenderness is exquisite,’Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun’, and it is there for all of us equally, bringing so much to our lives and bodies, I love your list Adrienne of some of the things tenderness adds to our way of being.
When I embrace tenderness I too have the sense of having all the space in the world. However the moment I harden and rush time immediately becomes an issue.
What you have said is so simple and yet so profound – when we are connected to our essence we expand and can feel the spaciousness that takes place……….truly being at one with ourselves.
Vicky I can relate to that too, just embracing tenderness gives a sense of space, it’s so awesome to feel.
When we open to the concept of tenderness we are opening up our body to the possibility of returning to it’s natural way of being and beginning to feel the possibility of returning home. When we begin to feel our body we may come across hardness and tension and when we approach this from the point of tenderness we can feel that this is not who we are but an imposition that we have allowed to block us. This is just the first inkling of the full depth of our beauty as we begin to unfold and feel the power of our own tenderness.
Choosing to surrender to tenderness is divine, and does feel so gorgeous, ‘My body lets go. I notice how I’ve been holding my shoulders tight or my forearms hard… the tension drops away.’
‘it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything.’ Wonderful to read and to feel how my body surrenders after having had an intense day.
Connecting to our tenderness is like connecting to the warmth of the sun, it is for everyone, it is always there every day, and we can choose to feel it, appreciate and live it at any moment.
It’s so gorgeous to read this and be able to feel this to be true in my body – unimaginable until quite recently, actually. And this is where I choose to connect back to when I feel off. Thank you, Adrienne, for your beautiful offering.
Recently I’ve been observing the way I walk, the way I place my foot on the ground, all the movements that are in taking a step, one after the other. What became clear is that the way the steps are taken is a direct reflection of what I’m thinking. So tender thoughts are a great foundation for tender steps and everything in my body that connect my movements with my beingness. I’m totally connected and this gets reflected not only to me but also to all.
The power of tenderness can be felt by reading your words and allowing them to flow through my body. ‘Tenderness flows from within me and through me. Tenderness can be felt in my voice, my touch, my thoughts, my ears and my eyes. It may sound funny, but even my taste becomes tender when I allow it’ and as I connect to my tenderness and allow it to resonate within it has an awesome effect on everything around me.
I love it Adrienne, not just the absolute wisdom of what you’ve shared but the exquisite way you’ve written. It’s very hard to pick a stand-out statement because there are many but I was struck by the notion that tenderness is deliberate. This is so true… what comes with it is a presence and awareness that ensures a deliberate-ness is whatever movement or touch is taking place. I would never have considered that before though… thank you.
Beautiful blog Adrienne tenderness is there for us all if we choose it, and when we do life feels a lot lighter.
The more I bring tenderness into all of the everyday tasks I do like tapping away on my keyboard, the way I hang out the washing or do the washing up, the less tired I am at the end of the day and the more joyful each task becomes.
As I read your words different areas of my body that I had been holding tension in from the day started to let go. I could feel my shoulders drop, tension in my face and toes go and an exquisite tenderness return.
I love what you share Adrienne, I can feel tenderness is the gateway to our connection with the rhythm and flow of divine impulses.
We have learnt to seek tenderness from others without realising that tenderness is something that we hold within. Once we connect to it we can feel the power and potency of a feeling that in todays world is often derided for being weak. As we learn to connect and nurture our tenderness we feel alive and vital and ‘full of life’ and as we share with others this amazing quality we expand our inner knowingness that within we do hold all the wisdom of the world.
Another great line Adrienne about tenderness, “it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything.” That is something really profound to consider, I know that being tough and hard with myself has a really detrimental effect, and being tender is not normally something I might associate with wellbeing, it’s usually default subjects like sleep, diet and exercise, yet I know when I am tender with myself I feel revitalised, calm, settled and things flow better. Also, I can see that exercising and eating tenderly can bring a whole new depth of wellbeing to these stock standard areas of self care. Very inspiring!
I am a bit like a bee to a flower with this blog! This is a great line “I am more playful, not rough or imposing, but light, open and full.” and that is exactly how I feel when I allow tenderness to express through me. I still though hold tenderness back a bit, it feels like such a true and deep expression of who I am that I have a shyness come up to be that much of my tender self with others. It actually confirms for me how natural it is to be tender, that it’s not something I do but who I am.
I feel I know what you mean Melinda – I love to hover and feel the beauty of Adrienne’s words.
It’s great to be reminded of the power of tenderness… and how surrendering to it and embracing the healing it offers, is just a choice.
‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.’ Tenderness is always with us we just have to choose it….and thank you for mentioning tender thoughts, those are not words that are normally put together and yet they sit so well together. I shall be checking more frequently to see what quality my thoughts are and if they are tender.
What a joy to read your blog again Adrienne and to re-connect to my tenderness. When we connect to our tenderness it feels as though we are coming back to our sacredness and beginning the path back to becoming what is deep within our very essence. How could we have travelled so far away from the Divine? We have lost connection to our roots of where we come from and have become caught up in the moment by distractions and deviations that have separated us from our soul and from each other. It fills me with wonderment that we are beginning to tread the path that will lead us back to being truly part of the whole Universe and to true joy and harmony.
Thankyou Adrienne, it’s a great reminder that each day we have a choice to be tender with ourselves and others, and that pushing, roughness, hardness or disregard are also simply choices.
[…] hear Adrienne talk about tenderness and it’s remarkable […]
When I allow myself to feel the tenderness from within and then move, work and express from my tenderness it is exquisite. But sometimes I also find it easy to slip back into the hardness and rush, but the amazing thing is, when I do I know I can always choose to re-connect to my tenderness again. It is never lost, so, all I have to do is choose to re-connect and it is there, tenderness is a quality we all have and it never leaves us no matter how much we have been living with hardness.
That is beautiful Chan, tenderness is in a surrender back to what we naturally are, no trying, manufacturing or willpower needed, as it is a natural expression.
When we behold a tender act, or feel a tender touch we melt as it is a reminder of the tender beings that we all naturally are.
I could feel the most beautiful tenderness as I read your article Adrienne, it was just as you commented. After reading the questions the expansive landscape that is tenderness revealed itself and re-connecting to this has been a truly healing moment.
‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.’ Very true Adrienne, and I agree this is great medicine for us everyday, the more tender I become this supports me beautifully to be in the world and deepens and strengthens all of my relationships – especially the one with me first.
Hi Adrienne – reading your beautiful blog has returned me to my tenderness. To be in tenderness is simple and feels gorgeous, loving and holding of me. Re-connecting to this tenderness has reflected to me how much hardness I hold and I can feel my body asking for more tenderness. Thank you Adrienne.
I love the idea of tenderness as medicine for the body and the more I apply regular doses the more my body thanks me for letting go of the protection that prevented me from connecting to my innate tenderness for so long.
There is such beauty, intimacy and warmth in a tender touch that just melts you
I love reading your blog again Adrienne, it beautifully reminds me to choose tenderness. The list of how tenderness makes you feel is exquisite to read, I can relate to them and feel inspired to be more consistent in choosing tenderness instead of hardness and rush, rush. It feels so amazing to choose tenderness yet why am I not choosing this all the time? This is something I am working on changing.
Tenderness is a quality we all hold equally within that is just waiting to come alive and be shared.
Too many of us live with the illusion that we need to live our lives encased in some form of armor to separate ourselves from others and to shield us from being hurt. What you share Adrienne is so true, when we allow ourselves to be open to feeling our tenderness in all that we do it melts away the hardness and need for this armor. The combination of this openness and tenderness is very powerful indeed as it gives us the power of observation and understanding that we cannot possibly ever feel when hiding behind a shield.
Thank you for this exquisite blog Adrienne. I agree, tenderness doesn’t have to be reserved for the selected few in our lives but can be shared with everyone in every moment of our day. The warming feeling of tenderness can be felt when we express it openly without holding back. It is so simple and easy to access because we are all naturally tender from within. Why would we hide our tenderness? It is so natural, loving and beautiful to feel and allows our tenderness to be expressed.
“With a little awareness and focus we can soon become masters of tenderness”. Yes it is this simple but only when we let go of the complication we often choose to live in. There is no tenderness in complication, but it is naturally a part of simplicity which offers the space and the grace for the tenderness to be expressed without any effort at all.
Adrienne your blog is amazing, it’s a blog I can read again and again. I can feel so much tenderness within me, when reading it. This blog is a great reminder for me too, for bringing awareness of all my tender moments I have felt and expressed during my week, which I so fully appreciate and embody……..Thank you.
Feeling this as I read is like coming home to the tenderest, warmest, coziest hug – and it’s happening on the inside of me. This is such a beautiful tender invitation to drop into my body and feel appreciation for the tenderness I am and the continual potential of deepening this awareness in simple ways.
With just hearing or reading the word tenderness I can feel my body beginning to respond; it feels like it is beginning to melt and it is like I have just taken a most luxurious sigh and let out every single bit of tension I have been holding. What is left is the most deliciously warm feeling that wants to expand and flow through me, tenderly.
As has your comment Roslyn also brought me back to feeling the tenderness in my body, when I had become caught up in the rush of ‘doing’ before I go off for an appointment. Being and feeling my tenderness allows me to connect with others from a depth of knowing which allows true openness.
Adrienne I too feel the tenderness throughout my body as I read your sharing. So much of our days are taken up in disconnection to our bodies, that to be reminded to be tender and aware of each movement makes all the difference to the day. bringing back that sweetness and loveliness that is our bodies natural state of being if we let it. Thank you.
Tenderness is such a beautiful quality, and once embraced, it affects everything in our lives, and everyone we come into contact to.
That’s gorgeous Emma – and I too love the feeling of spaciousness and how this allows us to feel the tenderness that is part of our essence – and our very beingness.
Tenderness equally allows spaciousness; space to be between an experience and a thought and then action, space to feel my beingness.
I love the practicality of your writing Adrienne. Learning about tenderness for me there has certainly been resistance and skepticism, and yet reading your list, I realize I am living like this and the moments when I am not are clearly standing out for me to return in a moment of choice. It is indeed a powerful and deliberate choice to live like this that “creates a deep sense of wellbeing” and enriches everything.
Tenderness is what supports me through an awkward moment. With tenderness there is an opportunity to surrender to how I am feeling which supports more space and observation. Which opens up for simplicity and new moments. I truly appreciate we always have the opportunity to start a fresh in every moment.
Such joy in reading this today Adrienne thank you. I can feel the tenderness in my body and thoughts as I type my response to your inspirational sharing. It is remarkable “The things you notice when you allow yourself to be tender”.
Tenderness can be universally felt by us all – it’s in the light brush of fabric against our skin or in the sweet lips of a kiss from a child. Whenever it happens it allows our body to let go and feel the true beauty of a tender moment that re-imprints our body with a new sense of experience that expands our body and opens the gateway to our soul.
I so love the foundation this blog offers. As I sit here pondering what I am feeling in my body this morning I realized that ‘absolute tenderness’ is how I need to be with myself right now. Adrienne your blog is a wonderful support of honouring myself in every thought, movement and moment. A divine choice that feels lighter already in my body.
Your words are healing Adrienne and when I read them and connect to the tenderness inside me I realise that it is always there for me to feel and know as part of me.
‘Tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair – it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything.’ Thank you for reminding me of how tenderness can be chosen in any situation and moment.
I just love reading this blog. There’s much hardness I have employed into my being, and still do – in the stiffness of my shoulders, and the hardness of my back, and the harshness I feel in the way I speak – and I can feel how false all of these actually feel to me even though they feel so familiar. Tenderness sure is within me, but that is no longer where it should be kept and hidden.
I love what you explore here Fumiyo in your comment. I too can feel this hardness in my body and at times I can allow myself to think that this is me – when in my heart I know it’s not me at all, it as you say a ‘false’ feeling that separates me from who I truly am – a tender, loving and gentle woman with an amazing capacity for understanding and living life to the full. As you say these feelings are deep within ‘but that is no longer where it should be kept and hidden’.
Absolutely Michael – when I make a choice to drop the tension from my body and surrender to the greater whole that surrounds us in space the whole of my body begins a relationship with joy as there is now room for me to be fully myself as I expand and make room for the love which I am to expand. When we touch those moments of tenderness we can feel the exquisiteness of how we feel without any outside imposition.
What’s remarkable to me is how much my body posture and tension dropped while reading this blog, Adrienne. It proves how much are bodies have a natural affinity to tenderness and how receptive they are to making the choice to be tender. I have had similar results with commanding my body to let go of tension and become more still and it never ceases to amaze me how well this works. Life is truly about choices, so why not make ones that support our body?
I’m very interested in this relationship between tenderness and tension, or tenderness having an effect on how much time we perceive that we have. You identify a magic ingredient that not only allows us to feel when ‘the pressure is on’, but that also gives us a simple, mechanical tool to introduce space into those moments, into our lives. From my own experience that is a transformational opportunity and totally changes my perspective when I choose it.
It feels so beautiful how this blog and all the many comments is expanding our awareness of our innate tenderness and allowing us to see how far removed we have become from being in what for us should be a normal and loving way to be with ourselves and one another. To be able to truly express our tenderness in thought, word and deed is to be truly in love with ourselves and with everyone else. and that would be a true celebration of Valentines Day! If each of us were to connect to that place within from which tenderness emanates we would feel the sacredness that we all are and which connects us to God and the Universe.
So true Monica and thank you for the reminder. I am becoming more aware of the lack of tenderness in my thoughts at times and how this impacts my body.
It is a very precious moment when we can by reading your blog Adrienne connect to that tenderness within and feel the flow throughout our body. As our connective tissue responds we can feel a flow of warmth and acceptance that brings with it a stillness and a feeling of being at one with ourselves and everyone else. We can feel our true amazingness and our connection to God.
To just read this blog and comments is a moment to sit in appreciation of the tenderness we are and simply feel it. It is there no question, I love moving with this knowing.
Allowing tenderness to be a part of my livingness there comes an inner warmth and a gentle more open expansive ‘bigger picture’ of life is revealed to me. Whereas being in haste, or hardening of my body as in protection I only see a very small part of what is truly going on around me. Bit like tunnel vision.
So enjoyed reading your blog today Adrienne – It brought me to a still moment to reflect and enjoy the simplicity of tenderness and the many ways that it appears naturally in my every day. As you share it so enriches our lives in so many, many ways.
Thank you Adrienne, I just loved reading your beautiful blog, as I am reading it I could feel my own tenderness moving throughout my whole body,”Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.”
Hi Adrienne, Reading the lovely things you notice when being tender feels like bathing in the love and glory of the divine as I sit here allowing the reflection pass through me and resonate with the truth in my body. Thank you.
And this is what is so beautiful about the way we all express when we comment as it magnifies the feelings of tenderness as we all inspire one another. Reading your comment Sandra I am now aware that as I sit here I am allowing that same feeling to pass through me and resonate within the love and glory of the divine which is now pulsing through me too. The magic of God truly works when we allow ourselves the opportunity to connect to the divine.
“Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun” I love it. Tenderness is so precious and you are right, it is not reserved for special moments, we can live tenderness the entire day – the way we talk, walk, express, touch or whatever we are doing, tenderness is the way.
Yet its a warmth that we carry on the inside, that is there for us in the winter, at night, anywhere, anytime. All we need to do is shine!
I agree Alexander.
“My body lets go. I notice how I’ve been holding my shoulders tight or my forearms hard… the tension drops away.” This is so lovely to feel, my life is at times quite intense and then coming back to being tender in my body is the most lovely thing to do. My body warms up and I can feel how beautiful I am.
I agree Lieke – it is so lovely to feel ourselves coming back into our body and connecting to what we innately are in the very essence of ourselves. The beauty of these moments unfolding is that we gain more insight into our very livingness and a deeper connection to our soul.
Lieke, I love how you express that when tender your body warms up and you feel how beautiful you are. Just gorgeous to read.
When I reflect back on my life the only tenderness I can think of is the feeling of a small baby’s hand clasping one of my fingers, and remembering that allows me to feel the hardness that I have lived with for so long. My voice still has a bit of an edge, but it is way better than it was ten years ago, and I am much more aware of how it feels in my body when I speak tenderly. Being tender with myself is a whole new way of living – this week I am working on letting go of self judgement and appreciating who I truly am and the stillness I can feel deep inside.
This so resonated with me Carmel what you say here about “the only tenderness you can think of is the feeling of a small baby’s hand clasping on of your fingers.” When ever a baby held my fingers, it did feel so tender and delicate and ever so gentle. You just reminded me of that. We all have this tenderness, as a baby naturally and we can have it as an adult also, but somewhere along the line, I know I lost it. But it is something I am committed to now and have done a lot of work on…..tenderness. I have come such a long way . I have been in hardness for so long and the catch is….. I didn’t even recognise it, until I came across Serge Benhayon and Esoteric practioners.
I love the image of a baby’s hand clasping your finger as it is the perfect example of how tender we are from the very beginning and a reminder that we can choose this at any time.
The elements you’ve found with allowing tenderness into life is beautiful, there is such a clear strength to all that can resonate deeply with us all
Absolutely gorgeous to revisit this blog. “These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being” – this spoke to me very loudly this time.
I agree Fumiyo – how empowering it feels when we carry within this knowing that we are innately tender – and this supports us to explore our own exquisiteness which is true medicine and our divine right as we truly evolve.
I love this blog Adrienne and cannot help to feel tender as I type those few words. Tenderness can indeed colour everything we do, it is “like the warmth of the sun” available to all equally. As I am about to start the day I will carry this message throughout the day and bring tenderness in everything I do. Thank you.
It is beautiful to have the inspiration of not only the blog but your words, Patricia. As I begin my day I too will carry this message with me of approaching each moment in tenderness.
Tenderness is true medicine and brings us back to our natural way of being. I love the reminder that when working with tenderness, ‘with no rush or force, suddenly I have a sense of having plenty of time’.
Tenderness: is “Good Medicine”, one that can’t be over prescribed, over dosed or abused. Partaken in constant and committed doses with awareness will develop a deepening loving connection to ourselves and humanity. Something that everyone would benefit from choosing.
Great prescription for tenderness Sandra ‘Partaken in constant and committed doses with awareness will develop a deepening loving connection to ourselves and humanity.’
Absolutely Cathy – tenderness is true medicine for everybody. I really love to feel my tenderness and when I can feel it in other people.
Tenderness melts us because it is our true fire lived, our very natural way to be.
A great quote here on tenderness Liane.
This is a gorgeous exploration of our innate tenderness Adrienne. And I agree that once connected to, like the rays of the sun, it seems to be something that flows so naturally through us infusing every pore so that all that we do is also marked with this warmth.
Beautiful to read your blog, reminding me that it is always there, no on/off switch just a choice to be tender… and how medicinal it is for the body
So true Suse – I love the analogy of the warmth of the sun, as I agree that tenderness does feel as though it permeates our very essence. It’s as though we are tenderness – and yet there are times when we need to re-connect to the ‘grace of tenderness’ within and feel that inner glow.
‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.’ Your blog is divine Adrienne and as I read it I realised I have completely underestimated the power and grace of tenderness in my everyday. Time to make a few changes….
I love returning to feel the depth of tenderness in your sharing Adrienne. The connection you offer is so simple and pure and is a choice for us all in any moment.
I felt to mentioned that the quality of everyone’s comments, the appreciation and the way they are being shared comes from this beautiful tender quality. It is a complete page of tenderness!
I feel tenderised from simply reading what you shared Adrienne. Thank you for the reminder of our natural way to be with ourselves and others.
‘Have we limited tenderness to the quality of meat ‘, that is hilarious and yet sadly true. You are so right Adrienne, tenderness is so much more than we allow and live. Thank you for inspiring us with an expansion of this innate quality within us.
Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun… if ever there was a first line of a song this is it. This article expands the awareness and the connection with, tenderness, simply by reading … how lovely.
Tenderness is a beautiful sounding word that offers what I understand as being one of the most powerful intentions I can have towards myself and humanity. Every thing you describe Adrienne is the start of a ripple effect. How we are matters at every moment and is felt by everyone.
Beautiful blog Adrienne and in answer to your question – the first time I felt being touched in ‘tenderness’ as an adult was when I had an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) – I cried and cried as I felt this tender loving touch by another woman, a feeling I could hardly remember – I cried because I hadn’t even allowed this deep tenderness with myself and I asked myself why not? why had I not been this tender with myself, it brought up huge sadness. Re-learning tender touch and ways of being is a continuing joyful process.
Yes, Shelley I can relate to what you have said about the Esoteric Breast Massage – it is an exquisitely tender experience and I was quite blown away at how something so delicate and light as the touch of another woman’s hand could evoke such deep and beautiful feelings. It feels as though it allows us to connect to that precious place within that has been denied for so long. At first, I had to relate to the meaning of the word as it had not been part of my regular vocabulary, and it was only when I thought of a baby that I could begin to understand the honouring and the magnitude of the depth of feeling inspired by the word ;
‘tender’.
Shelley, what you have shared here is so important. We dearly miss the tender touch, tender loving ways, and the sadness lives in side us until we allow ourselves to feel it.
Tenderness definitely feels like the ‘warmth of the sun’ to me and I notice that when I am aware of my tenderness that it naturally flows into everything I do and on to everyone I interact with. The hardness melts away. It feels amazing!
Well Adrienne you have really released the might of tenderness with this blog. While it is all lovely and true the one that stood out for me was at when you take the time to enjoy life with tenderness, there is plenty of time. I know that rushing or going into nervous energy does not get anything done quicker, and the quality is lesser. Sometimes I have to let go completely of some things I wanted to do and just enjoy what I am doing in the moment, and feel good about not compromising the quality.
It is lovely what you say about not ‘compromising the quality’. The pull away from ourselves and truly honouring us in the moment is ever present, but with consistency, commitment and love we can choose a way that is aligned to our innate and ever loving natural way of being where quality resides.
This is great Bernard, to bring time and quality into the topic of tenderness, we can use time as the marker for our unfolding tenderness. How did the time pass today, what was the quality, and is there tenderness….? I like it, a theme for today.
This is great timing for me to read your blog Adrienne as I am feeling a bit fragile this morning due to my busy week-end. By reading your blog it has reconnected me back to feeling my body and what is needed today to support me. The answer that I received was to be tender, loving and caring. I can feel this tenderness deepen throughout my body as I read your blog. Thank you Adrienne.
Yes, I agree Anne it is deeply empowering to read this beautiful blog and to reconnect to our tenderness – something that is innately part of us. All we need to do is to simply connect, and then feel ‘this tenderness deepen throughout my body’ – medicine that truly heals and expands our experience of life.
If only the doctors were to prescribe a dose of tenderness to each and every patient, the world would be a very different place. I love the feeling of tenderness having a ‘purpose’ while at the same time there is no ‘rush or force’. It feels so embracing and deep when we connect and then allow the feeling of tenderness to infuse our whole body as if all the particles have come together to celebrate the unity that the body can feel within.
How lovely to revisit this blog and to feel the true tenderness that is there within to be shared in all my movements. There is absolutely no room for harshness in actions or words when we live from such a tender space. A healing quality that is available for us always – thank you for the lovely reminder Adrienne.
Adrienne reading your blog feels like a very fine and yet warm and light blanket being pull over me inviting me to let go, to let out the tenderness held in every limb and part of my body.
This is lovely Adrienne and just the reminder I needed to carry into my day. Tenderness, the word for every interaction.
Thank you Fumiyo – your words make such sense and express what I can feel when I am open to feeling rather than going into hardness to deny the lack of tenderness and only compounding that lack. When we are open to what we are truly feeling we allow ourselves the opportunity to change and choose to heal and as you say that is ‘beautiful to feel’.
When I choose tenderness consciously, the hardness, the roughness, the heaviness, the raciness… all these things that I feel in my body come up into my awareness, ready to be let go. It’s beautiful to feel.
Love what you have said here Fumiyo. By choosing tenderness it opens up the space in our body to feel this. Then there is no space for the other unloving ways of being but to opt out.
Great Fumiyo, when tenderness is the choice, then all that is not tenderness falls away automatically.
“Tenderness flows within me and through me” – Allowing tenderness into my life I’ve noticed of late that if another is the recipient of this gentle, self loving way of being. They also reflect back tenderness in their expression or with their touch but, most of all that knowing gentle appreciation with their eyes. Reading this blog this morning is a beautiful start to my day. Thank you Adrienne.
Not feeling my tenderness is no longer an acceptable way of being. I am so thankful to always be able to return to my marker of tenderness and love.
Hi Adrienne
I love the way that tenderness can melt away all the hardness. In my relationships, my connection with my body and in how I relate to the world on a daily basis.
You bet Kathryn, any hardness that may be there is melted away by tenderness, you cant fake it.
“it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything” – thank you Adrienne for this beautiful tender article. I am pledging to feel the hardness and drive which operates in my day at the moment – to understand the importance to feel tender is paramount and exquisite. I am coming to the understanding that I have avoided it for so long and to be anything other than tender now feels a huge violation of the beautiful woman I am.
Tender thoughts of lovingly appreciating myself in each moment is the reflection I can feel from reading this blog and comments. To tenderly stay with me and share the same level with all I meet is my purpose for today.
Such a gorgeous blog Adrienne – the word tenderness makes me smile just hearing it or reading it because my body knows that feeling and loves it when I am in tender mode – I totally agree tenderness sure is medicine for the body.
The power and beauty in such a simple choice to be tender and all that this brings is truly exquisite…. melting ourselves and others.
So beautifully and simply expressed Samantha – and also equally melting. Tenderness is something that is so innate to us and once we have connected we can begin the process of re-imprinting our lives with a way that reaches into the very depth of our being.
Adrienne, reading about tenderness rendered me tender. Why not choose this most delicious of feeling for every moment of our lives? As you say there is no switch off button and it is available to each one of us.
A beautiful sharing Adrienne – The word ‘tenderness’ itself allows a flow of gentleness in which, softens and feels more allowing to an openness of endless possibilities.
You are right Adrienne, tenderness does not have an on/off switch, its how you live. If you have been rough with yourself and the people in your day, and then you want to be tender with your children, or partner, they undoubtedly will feel how you have been in your day.
Gorgeous Adrienne, a delight to be so tenderly brought back to my tenderness in reading your blog thank you.
Dear Adrienne – your beautiful blog feels like something that I will continue to return to again and again as each time I return I allow myself to feel another, deeper layer of tenderness to arise in my body. It is exquisite to feel the depth and breadth of tenderness to be connected to in our daily lives – any time we choose to allow ourselves to feel and to heal the hurt and hardness. To treat ourselves with tenderness is deeply honouring and respectful when we engage with the world and we allow others to see and feel our tenderness – it is an ever expanding process and brings a deeper and more sustaining experience to all our relationships.
“… it [tenderness] seems to be something that is alive in me and when I reconnect with it, it melts me, and whatever I’m doing, I can’t help but be tender with.” I had not connected with this before but on reading this I realise that the same thing happens for me. This feels very profound. To be tender is something I have been striving to be yet here I realise how easy that can be. Wow! Thank you Adrienne.
Wow, Jonathan – thank you for your comment – and I love what you say – ‘I had not connected with this before but on reading this I realise that the same thing happens for me. This feels very profound’. Adrienne’s beautiful words bring tenderness alive for me in my body and allow me to build this connection from within the very essence of me. It is exquisite and divine when we feel that we are filled with all this joy, beauty and love, and all we need to do is connect. My heart just overflows.
Thank you for the lovely reminder Adrienne – I too could feel my body let go as I read this.
I simply love what you shared here Adrienne…”tenderness are medicine to the body and being, available whenever the choice is made and applicable well beyond special moments with a select few. Tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair – it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything”… Who would have thought, in a modern busy lifestyle when there tends to be that pull to always have something to ‘Do’, that tenderness is the antidote, the medicine to our bodies. What a wonderful and practical way to be with ourselves, a way to bring self care into our day. Thank you Adrienne.
Hi Adrienne, just a short visit refuelling my tenderness.
I love this description..”Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.” I have noticed at school when the children come up for a hug or they offer a helping hand-they express tenderness so wonderfully to me and in that moment I realise they are feeling me needing to do it for myself-it softens me instantly and brings me straight back to me every time . It’s a healing balm .Children are so healing and their tenderness teaches us to remember it in ourselves.
Once we have connected to our tenderness its just a simple choice to feel it in every moment and that means it’s always there, so what’s stopping us surrendering in every moment? Adrianne has listed all the exquisite benefits of being tender and I ask myself why wouldn’t I use this available tenderness 24/7? If I tried to list the benefits of the hardening in my body my list could be very revealing of the protection I choose to still carry.
I’m going to feel the tenderness in all the little things I have to do today, from typing this response, showering, dressing, walking, preparing food, hugging my daughter, answering the phone etc. So that I reconnect to the feeling of tenderness throughout my whole body and being and deepen my relationship with it.
Having a conversation with someone they were a little agitated and worrying over something. I wasn’t in a position to assist them with these specific concerns. What I realised I could do was listen to them with tenderness. So I switched off the need to do or fix and allowed them to express what they felt without a judgement coming from me. We settled down into quite a deep connection with the conversation evolving to our mutual appreciation of where God is in our lives. A very beautiful awareness for me in listening tenderly with my heart.
The feeling of tenderness in my fingers as I type my comment – sending tingling responses through my body. Having that awareness is such a gift and one that I shall never take for granted. In your beautiful words we are ‘Masters of tenderness’ and life is so enriched by it. First I had to allow self love back into my life to feel the power of the gentleness of ‘tenderness’ and its rippling effects it has on others. That is amazing. Such an awesome sharing with us all Adrienne thank you.
Yes Kirsty in the past I too viewed tenderness as pathetic but for me it was a case of not having anyone around me being tender or even discussing this quality as a treasure to have. So it is difficult growing up when there is no role models who are connected and expressing their natural tenderness.
As I read your blog Adrienne I could feel the tenderness expressed which was absolutely beautiful. It is so true once we let go and release all the tension we hold in our body we are able to reconnect to the tenderness we all naturally are. The more we surrender the body the deeper the tenderness is felt. This blog is powerful as I cannot help but feel the tenderness in my fingers as I am writing this comment.
Your article is a wonderful medicine for instant tenderness. Thank you Adrienne, once again.
Well said Ilja. Yes Adrienne’s tender sharing is absolutely instant tenderness medicine for heart, soul and body. I love coming back to it for all the reasons everyone shares.
With very deep appreciation Adrienne – thank you.
Tenderness is opened up here for me Adrienne thank you. To expand tenderness to my thoughts, how I look and receive through my eyes, how I eat and talk will be fun as I often restrict tenderness to how I am moving, the alignment of my joints and checking for strain in my muscles even though this is helpful too.
To allow ourselves to experience tenderness softens the harshness of life and we touch into the beauty of the moment, whether it be looking at a sunset, the smile of a small child or the exquisite moment of being in connection to ourselves and all things (God). Thank you Adrienne for sharing this with us today.
It is so beautiful that the deeper I connect to this blog the more I am beginning to feel tenderness in my body. Thank you Adrienne for all the joy and love that your blog is offering us to return to our innate tender selves.
The quality of tenderness as so beautifully expressed in this article, can be there in everything that we do, and we build that relationship with at first, turning the awareness inside so that we become tender with ourselves, building that relationship of love, letting go of the hardness and the judgement and the lack of self-worth, returning to true self-love and nurturing.
Yum Chris, I’m in! I’m totally in love with tenderness, not perfect but wow it makes a difference to how everything feels when I am tender with me. And what a stand out when I’m not or the environment I find myself in isn’t.
‘These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being, available whenever the choice is made and applicable well beyond special moments with a select few.’ I love reading this blog Adrienne because it supports me in my connection and reminds me that I can choose tenderness all through the day and it reminds me how wonderful that feels and the magic that it brings. ‘Tenderness flows from within me and through me.’
Thank you Toni for your comment – they capture the sense of tenderness I feel when I read or connect with this blog through the comments. There is also something very profound about the word tenderness itself as the words so fully embrace the feeling that was there before the word even came into being. When I feel my own tenderness I am connected to that part of myself that also embraces the world.
Thank you for writing this blog. It is beautiful to feel that every time I read this I can feel the tenderness ignite in my body. I notice that I sometimes try to be tender by doing things tenderly but that I then feel a bit soft. When I feel truly tender it comes from a warmth inside my body knowing that I am naturally tender and this feels amazing. Like you said: “I enjoy the fullness of love, accepting the joy and letting it out and in.”
Thank you Adrienne – great practical tips. As I was reading: “My body lets go. I notice how I’ve been holding my shoulders tight or my forearms hard… the tension drops away.”… I noticed how I was leaning forward and I sat back, released my shoulders, relaxed my arms and elongated my spine – and wow what a difference it made. I find these tiny little things and reminders are not tiny at all but HUGE when lived!
Simply beautiful Adrienne. “Tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair – it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything.” It certainly melts the hardness I default to during the working day. What a great reminder.
I certainly had reserved my tenderness for special moments, to acknowledge I am tender has made a great difference. When I allow myself to feel this constant tenderness inside it is there for everyone in every moment.
Wonderful expressed Annelies – tenderness is there for everyone in every moment, no reason to hold back. When we express from our tenderness, everything becomes very precious.
Tenderness is such a beautiful thing. I feel very tender at the moment and I feel everything around me, this feels so powerful. Nothing weak about tenderness, it is one of our greatest strengths.
Yes, great reminder how the quality of tenderness makes to our life. Reading this blog I allowed my self to feel tender and noticed my shoulders drop and tension soften in my body. Beautiful to read and be reminded of this.
I felt drawn to re-read this blog today and I loved the simplicity and clarity of what has been shared about tenderness. I was inspired by just thinking of tenderness or a tender moment experienced and how that is instantly alive in me again. I know that I am deeply tender but don’t live this all the time. I am knowing tenderness in others too and see it in their eyes, which reminds me of being tender too.
Each time I return to this blog to read I get inspired to connect deeper with my tender loving way. Even the quality of tenderness I am typing this message with has deepened and I feel my whole body surrendering more. This is a very simple and inspirational blog. Thanks Adrienne for your commitment to humanity.
After reading the first few sentences of your blog I could feel my shoulders and forearms letting go….this will be a very tender day for me. Thank you for the inspiration.
A beautiful description of tenderness. It is such a definite quality. Thanks for sharing it.
Adrienne since your blog I found myself often pondering is something I’m doing equal to the tenderness I know I am. This is a great support to play with and check in with how I’m going. Thank you
This blog is a beautiful reminder of what is waiting for us, if we choose tenderness in the knowing that it changes everything instantly when we go for it.
It is rare to describe tenderness as powerful and purposeful. This takes away the idea that tenderness is weak or less in anyway.
Tenderness is not special, it is naturally who we are. This is a great understanding and quality of living we can come to, presented by Serge Benhayon. It is very peculiar to see our driven way of life and the hardness we place our bodies in as normal and even more so regular bouts of illness that inevitably come from that way of living. Yet this is the way most of us see life and it was not until I had taken many steps back towards tenderness that I realised how abnormal and absurd it is to think that being stressed out everyday is ok.
Awe tenderness X
Your words, “Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few” – is such a gorgeous visual to describe the enveloping essence of tenderness, the essence of a person’s Love in fact. Beauty.
When I read your article it immediately took me to tenderness and stillness and it is like being bathed in sunlight from within.
Thank you Merrilee – there is such a beautiful lightness and truth in what you say. It is amazingly healing when we read words that connect us fully to all that we innately are.
‘Tenderness flows from within me and through me.’ Thank you Adrienne for this beautiful and powerful reminder that the more we surrender to our tenderness the more we confirm and honor the divine Love that we are in all that we do and with all that we meet.
Adrienne what I loved about your article was feeling your lived relationship and adoration of tenderness, it really brought tenderness to life.
You are so spot on Alexis. Adrienne’s blog really does bring tenderness to life. That’s why I love reading it often :))
After reading this beautiful blog I feel that I have been bathed in a shower of love.
I will visit this awesome blog again very soon I feel. Thank you Adrienne.
Beautiful reminder Adrienne, thank you. I feel tenderness is a doorway to universal love, width, warmth, expansion, joy and it brings the relaxation for the body to be “home”.
Tenderness sounds like the best medicine I have ever heard of.
I enjoy the opening words – how tenderness is limited to the quality of meat. Perhaps as a play of words, that could be – the quality of meeting ourselves, and others?
Thank you Adrienne for this tender moment and the reminder tenderness does melt hardness and at every moment we can choose tenderness.
I never asked myself the question, pre my studies with Universal Medicine, whether I was connected with myself and whether there was another way to understand life from the wisdom in my body. One example of exploring this was that this connection brought a natural sensitivity and tenderness back to my body, because in connection, the body was open and receptive to life and not guarding or bracing against it. It was like not being with me left me feeling vulnerable and my body was reflecting that. If we have not explored this, there is a cycle of choosing to stay disconnected because it feels unpleasant to be with a body that is guarded, and therefore we are not motivated to connect and let go and feel how wonderful a natural state of tenderness can be. Thanks to blogs like this, perhaps more now will be inspired to explore what true connection means.
It is true, as you say “These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being”, I become more aware of how I can get hard in my body when I feel attacked or overwhelmed, this now does not feel like me and when I reconnect with the tenderness that is naturally there, I do feel like I am healing from within.
Thank you Adrienne. Reading this article I felt the tenderness spread through my body and realized that I had not been feeling this tenderness before starting to read. A gentle reminder to gently bring myself back to tenderness in all that I do. This tenderness is within me but I have to consistently choose it and the more I choose tenderness the more tenderness I feel.
I keep being drawn back to your blog Adrienne.
In truth I have much to learn about tenderness thus, I have very much appreciated your wisdom and sharings.
This is beautiful, very inspiring, thanks Adrienne.
This is so gorgeous Adrienne – after reading your blog I am a tender puddle on the floor. Totally melted me!
Melissa I have a great visual of you as a tender puddle … I like your description.
Adrienne reading your blog always allows me the space to remember that tenderness is ever present in all that we do. If we simply let go and enjoy each and every moment, tenderness is such a powerful tool.
Tender rhymes with surrender and that is what I feel most when I am tender. It is a feeling of melting the hard exterior and letting the warmth, love and delicateness out. It is being love and allowing myself to be loved, held and cherished.
Thanks Fiona for the reminder in allowing the tenderness and loving that is already there to come in and out. Just like our breath. We can choose a deeper pulse of breath + tenderness that embraces love for ourselves and others. Perhaps this is the area as women we are divinely meant to “multi task”! That we can hold our own lovely tender essence and that of All others at the same time. It is not an exclusive choice but inclusive of all. Whether the actual loving tender traits are evident or not they still exist in All of us in our essence. Mmmm a new dimension of multi tasking.
Thank you Adrienne , a great practical elaboration on tenderness and it importance in daily life.
I love what you have expressed here Adrienne; your wisdom is an inspiration to deepen the tenderness I offer to myself and others.
“Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few”.
It would be great to have a ‘Move Tenderly Awareness Day’. A day we could bring to our workplaces, schools etc. that was to offer a deepening awareness and participation for others if they choose. All sorts of things could be suggested like: finger touch on key boards, slamming draws, doors, plonking in to chairs, gobbling lunch at the computer, to what ever is needed. I heard of an awareness raising day held in a school. The title was “Get out of my Way” the concept is for the senior boys to step aside for the junior boys in hallways etc. This gave the smaller children direct passage rather than always skirting round large boys because of their size. Bringing an equality to all students.
This is something I can feel has really changed from over the last couple of years. I have begun to really feel and appreciate ‘tenderness’, in my expression of it and also how it can be powerful…”The choice to allow tenderness feels powerful, deliberate and not half-hearted.” It has been true revelation. Thank you.
Adrienne – if tenderness were at auction in this post you would have raised the roof with buyers.
I recently re-listened to A Way of the Livingness sermon by Serge Benhayon- No 4. The pinnacle for me was about tenderness, through tenderness in all that we do we can develop our awareness. Awareness allows the space to feel energy and eventually the space to choose what energy will run us. I bookmark many of the blogs I read across the Universal Medicine blog sites to come back to – this one I plan to come back to so often I have printed it out.
It’s lovely to come back to your blog Adrienne, there is always something else for me to feel into, to aid me to continue my journey into tenderness, finally waking to the hard way I have mistreated my body.
Adrienne, I could feel my body drop as I read your blog. As you say it is always there we just have to stop and allow ourselves to feel it and the express it.
Thank you Adrienne for the beautiful revelation of how tenderness removes all that is hard in our way of being and what we hold onto in our bodies.
I love your tender loving blog Adrienne – a great reminder!
Adrienne – I felt myself melt as I was reading your blog. Tenderness is such a powerful medicine and I totally agreed that we are ‘… all the richer with it.’. Thank you!
I like how you have referred to tenderness as a powerful medicine Helen, for it really is and it’s free because it’s naturally who we are.
Tenderness is ‘definite and delicate.’ I love the way this article shows us how tenderness is not at all a wishy washy, not for the real world quality, but is most certainly a genuine, well defined way of being in the world: awesome.
A lovely reminder of what tenderness brings and that we all have it equally.
You have beautifully expressed the power of tenderness. Thank you for the tender reminder.
Tenderness is certainly a quality that I adored bringing back into my life as an adult that was used to hardening against the world. For me it started with be gentle with myself, understanding what fragility meant, and then being able to deepen into tenderness. I love how you bring tenderness to everything in your daily life Adrianne, beautiful.
As I read your blog Adrienne it becomes obvious that bringing tenderness into every thing we do is actually our natural way of being that we have disconnected from because we get caught up in the business of life. We need to give ourselves space to re-connect and our innate tender, delicate way will be easily expressed.
I feel held in tenderness after reading your blog, and feeling my own intrinsic tender gorgeous self, thank you Adrienne. It’s so habitual to go into hardness as a way to get through what I need to do in the day. It feels that the more tender I am the more I feel, and how the hardness is an attempt to not feel my hurts, or in contrast my amazingness!
Thank you Thomas for your timely reminder to feel my tenderness. Today I have been going into hardness to ‘try and achieve’ and now instead I can feel my tenderness dissolving some of the hardness. I love the feeling of being held in the ‘tenderness after reading ‘ Adrienne’s blog. Another opportunity to connect to this amazing blog.
Each word was like a little bee pollinating a flower.
That’s great Melinda. The delicate precision of the bees work would be done in absolute tenderness. They wouldn’t start their daily work and say ” I’ve got so much to do I’ll push through these stamens – and shout …out of my way petals, don’t you know I’m running late! Oh I’ll just dump this load here because I’m too tired now or just lost interest.”
They would start their day with commitment to the greater purpose with as much care and awareness as they commenced life with and never wain till their last beat. Wow! There is a lot to appreciate in the not so humble bumble-bee.
Your blog reminds me how much I miss tenderness when I neglect to bring it to what I am doing Adrienne. I am now typing tenderly, drinking tea tenderly and will take myself to bed tenderly too. Thank you Adrienne.
Thank you Leonne, I sometimes react to my tenderness and your words reminded me of how in every moment I have a choice to embrace the tenderness again.
I keep coming back to your blog on tenderness. It supports a deepening connection and I love reading all the comments. I can’t believe that I have lived so long without realising the depth and value of this connection to a place within that seems to come alive as I connect and confirm the feeling of tenderness that I am finding in my body. The gentle touch of my fingers on my face and arms and the tender feeling in the bottom of my feet. Also equally beautiful is the tender hug and light touch of the lips as we exchange a greeting with a friend. The list is endless – tenderness can be everywhere and at any time we choose to connect to it.
Susan I love the tenderness in your expression of “…value of this connection to a place within that seems to come alive as I connect and confirm the feeling of tenderness that I am finding in my body.” You’re spot on, tenderness does come alive in our bodies when we connect to it. This maybe why re-reading this blog always feels so very lovely because our tenderness comes alive just by reading what Adrienne and many are living.
Most people long to be treated with tenderness. It is so naturally in us when we hold a baby but we need to be able to express tenderly in everything we say and do.
I agree Elizabeth we all long for that and learning to hold and be with ourselves in tenderness like we would bring to a baby is the first step.
‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.’ What a beautiful image you have conveyed in this final sentence. I could feel my body becoming more and more tender as I read your words. Thanks
This is so beautiful, Adrienne. I love how you posed the question ‘have we ever experienced a tender thought’. As I read that I was able to feel how harsh my thoughts can be, how critical and judging… but that there is absolutely the potential for my thoughts to be tender too.
If tenderness has no on, off or dimmer to change it then that can only mean that we leave it when we make the choice to leave ourselves.
I adore this article Adrienne.
Allowing ourselves to feel our natural tenderness in the simplest of ways, (as you share with tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair) supports us to connect more deeply and share this innateness with all.
Thank you for the inspiration and confirmation I have received reading your sharing.
You make tenderness attainable and real, powerful and normal!
I have come so far with my own tenderness and yet feel so far from my true tenderness. But the times I truly feel tender are exquisite and very powerful, like gold dripping from a tap 🙂 I imagine with a smile the day the tap is on full and gushing, and it won’t be turned off 🙂
Adrienne your words really allowed me to feel into my own innate tenderness. It just shows how amazingly inspiring it is to truly share our own unique expression, because it can really help others. Your blog has truly done that for me.
Your words are so beautiful Adrienne, my heart warms as I read your words. I can add another point here too, when I am more tender with myself, I naturally want to be more tender with others, and that feels lovely.
“Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few”
I look up into the sky sometimes, and realise that the same sun that shines down on me is the same sun that is shining down on everyone, at different times all over the world, amazing, how huge and powerful is the sun, just like our tenderness, warm, powerful and it is in everyone.
Thank you, Adrienne, for sharing from your tenderness…it has supported a deeper connection with myself today
Reading your blog did made me melt in my tenderness. Thank you Adrienne Ryan for letting me feel my tenderness through the power of your writing.
This blog has a big following of tender friends Adrienne, it shows the power and beauty and delicacy of your words, and how they are written for all. Every reading provides a healing moment for the body, it is so refreshing. Thank you.
Enjoying again reading your list of things you notice when tender Adrienne, it gives me a sense of appreciation for how far I have come in my self caring, and how this has unfolded into my discovering and accepting a preciousness I had hidden away for years.
Alison, reading your comment is a timely reminder for me to check in with myself more frequently throughout the day, as I often forget that I could be choosing a more gentle way in all that I do.
Adrienne, I love this simple blog, reading it is such a beautiful reminder to allow ourselves to be tender I can really relate to this sentence and the massive impact of choosing tenderness. ‘My body lets go. I notice how I’ve been holding my shoulders tight or my forearms hard… the tension drops away.’
Tenderness heals the world.
The tenderness in your words here Adrienne filled my being from inside out. The more tenderness I feel in how I am with myself and how I do the things I do, the more anything outside of that becomes obvious, and clunky, bringing me back to that tenderness again.
I love your comment Giselle and the idea of tenderness filling you from the “inside out”. I can relate to how everything becomes so obviously clunky, which for me brings me back to that tenderness that has been there as a part of me since I was born. It feels so beautiful to re-connect to that part of ourself that is true and loving and innately part of us.
Tenderly expressed and tenderly received. Thank you Adrienne.
I find it very easy to slip into the hardness of living a busy life but as you remind me Adrienne, tenderness is such a powerful way of living and right there if I choose to allow it to bubble up to the surface.
Such a gorgeous blog Adrienne, your description of tenderness is most definitely coming from your lived loving way. Thank-you for sharing your tenderness with us.
Wow tenderness just feels amazing when I read this blog and you have reminded me Adrienne that tenderness is not something you learn but something you unlock.
This beautiful blog has inspired me to make a commitment to connect to my tenderness in my day. This feeling of tenderness is growing and becoming a knowingness. As I let go of the hardness it allows the tenderness to flourish and become a marker that I can return to when I sense the hardness returning.
Your blog Adrienne and the comments show how contagious tenderness really is :-)! I know it is within me but I lose it when I get too busy or am ticking the boxes on my to do list. It is such a yummy feeling to not have the tension in my body and when I do and read a blog like yours, or see someone move into tenderness I am instantly reminded and able to let go of my body and feel this tenderness again. This is a germ I do not mind catching.
Your blog is inspiringly tender – and your words seem to melt away the tensions of the day. Tenderness is so powerful and strong and can inspire the world to change and open up to all the possibilities. So often power is used in an abusive way to threaten and cajole but tenderness together with power can allow us to live in unity.
I do love this very tender writing. As I drove for two hours today I felt my hands on the steering wheel many times and checked in to see how tender my touch was. The awareness I have of how my hands are when they are being used (which is always except sleeping) has increased so immensely since first reading this blog. The very interesting upside is my finger nails are growing long!
Adrienne your tenderness envelops me like a warm and very soft blanket and the feeling is exquisite.
Yes it is simply wonderful that no matter what is going on in my life pulling me off track I can always reconnect through a simple tender touch. But sometimes we need a reminder that it is really that simple. Thank you Adrienne.
Thank you for the reminder, Adrienne, that tenderness can even be applied to typing. I hadn’t considered that. Thank you again.
And being tender is not just a wonder-full way to be with self, but also something that flows like a cup overflowing, out and is felt by all who I interact, connect with and see the beautiful way in which true tenderness is lived.
This is so true, Joshua – tenderness felt is just the beginning of an ever expanding relationship with that first moment. When we all can connect to our tenderness which is innate, just imagine how magnificent the world will be.
I keep coming back to your blog Adrienne, to be reminded of the magic qualities of tenderness – how it allows me to appreciate myself in that moment when I choose it, as well appreciating what I am doing.
Your blogs are always a joy to read Adrienne, I became very aware whilst reading your blog of where in my body I was holding tension and to let this go and to sink deeper. Feeling inspired to have more check points through my day to increase the tenderness in my life – thank you.
It is beautiful and tender to read the comments and it reminds me how much I have missed connecting to that tenderness that is within and innate in us as children. As I became caught up in the way that the world was presented to me I allowed others to dictate the level of tenderness I allowed myself to feel. The more I hardened the more difficult it has become to reconnect – and yet when inspired it ignites in me again that connection to my essence – all that I am. Thank you Adrienne for that inspiration.
It is such a lovely reminder that we can simply choose to reconnect to that tenderness we naturally are at any moment and move forward from that quality. It is simply a choice to stop, feel and reconnect to my essence. Beautiful……
I have really enjoyed this blog Adrienne. It reminds me that tenderness is possible in everything we do and is there equally for all who choose.
Tonight at the end of a big day I have read your words again Adrienne, and now I am putting myself to bed tenderly, and I have just noticed that it is raining tenderly! I love going to sleep listening to the rain.
Bernadette I just love connecting with the appreciation you have for your tender moment and that you where surrounded and supported with the tender rain. It felt like the most loving tender wrap to every so gently guide you off to sleep. This is such a beautiful awareness of tender care for ourselves in every moment.
Adrienne thank you for the great and tender reminder to reconnect back to tenderness.
This is beautiful – “Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.” Imagine how different life would be if we all acknowledged this fact and lived in a way that honours this.
Dear Adrienne, Thank you for yet again another simply masterful piece of writing. Just reading your blog I feel more tender – thank you for the reminder of the power of tenderness and the crack up line – ‘have we reserved tenderness only for meat’. Thank you for sharing that the greatest form of tenderness is towards ourselves.
A beautiful reminder Adrienne how simple it is to reconnect to the tenderness the we naturally are.
So beautifully expressed Adrienne, I will take this gentle reminder of tenderness into my day – thank you for the inspiration!
Gorgeous Adrienne,
I can so feel the tenderness that you have made your way… and I feel myself melting more into my own tenderness as I write this back to you.
Thank you.
Wow this makes me want to allow more tenderness in my life with thoughts and actions. Thank you Adrienne.
I can relate to your comment, Bernadette – I too have many beliefs around modern technology. I can use it as an excuse to give up on myself and resign myself into stagnation. When I connect to the tenderness within I am able to engage fully with the world in a way that is life enhancing for all.
What a sweet blog. My choice of the day was and still is to be intimate with my body and breath. Immediately a tenderness pops up. Such a wonderful feeling. It just takes a choice and an allowing.
I love revisiting your blog Adrienne. I am just learning a new iPhone and Mac computer and this is such a great opportunity to reconnect to tenderness before any actions. There are a number of hard old beliefs to nail and discard around IT and my ability to learn, and to do this tenderly is my intention.
This is such a great blog to re-visit. Thanks Bernadette I hadn’t connected choosing tenderness rather than frustration while I’m developing IT skills.
A beautiful description of your experiences of ‘tenderness’, I have realised that I have real tenderness as I write this comment on my lap top today. I am not banging the keys and I am sitting comfortably. These small decisions that I am aware of support me to live in a way that is more loving for myself and other people. My body is not so hard and I am not trying to protect myself, I am more open to life.
That’s a beautyfull blog. I could feel all of my indecision and overwhelm become less just feeling how you wrote this.
Adrienne, such a beautiful sharing, thank-you. These two lines stood out for me at this time.
“I am super-present – in the moment, not before or beyond it, or even thinking of anything else.”
“I enjoy the fullness of love, accepting the joy and letting it out and in.”
Allowance has a huge part to play in all of this, and the mind tries to complicate it and bring in all manner of interpretations of how you do that. But as I have found, allowance is just asking us to let go. Breathe our own gorgeous breath and be. Then tenderness reveals it’s glorious self.
Adrienne that blog was tenderness, I feel completely tender with my hardness washed away. I’m just relearning how to come back to my tenderness and the feeling is exquisite. You have done an amazing job of putting the feeling of tenderness into words. Thank you.
Adrienne I have again felt to read this blog. It is such a inspirational blog to begin the day for me! Thank you.
Me too Anne…I often come back to this blog….very inspiring.
Beautiful blog Adrienne, I felt myself re-connect and become that tenderness whilst reading your blog. I shall certainly be coming back for more re-reads when I need a reminder – thank you
i love this blog , “When I take my time, with no rush or force, suddenly I have a sense of having plenty of time.” This is so true and made me smile to feel it.
I agree Gyl, it is amazing how doing the opposite of what our minds are telling us (not to rush when we need to be somewhere) can create the space we need to get something done or be somewhere.
Very well said Fiona, it is amazing and freeing when we don’t follow our minds down the path of rushing and pushing. To slow it all down allows the tenderness to be felt and all is complete just as is needed with out the angst, and the feeling of tenderness remains for what’s next.
Thanks Adrienne for a lovely blog. Your last sentence is so beautiful ” It is there for us all equally, naturally, easily whenever we choose to let its remarkable ways unfold as we go about our day to day lives, all the richer with it.”
Thank you Peter for your comment including that amazingly beautiful quotation, giving me another opportunity to re-connect to to the blog. I wonder why we have avoided these simple actions for so long when all the time they are there inside of us? It is awesome how much we are being offered by these simple words of wisdom.
That is so true Susan they are just simple actions and with us all the time for the choosing – tenderly.
Thanks Adrienne for reminding me of how precious it is to return to tenderness as a basis for each moment of my life.
Thank you Adrienne, for such a beautifully tender sharing.
Thank you Adrienne for reminding me that tenderness can be expressed constantly in the smallest thought or act, in how we care for and consider ourselves, in fact it is tenderness that allows such awareness.
Wunderbare Adrienne that is such a wonderful love letter to tenderness – thank you so much. It helped me to remember that there is more than the hardness I so automatically choose. Yes tenderness is the right medicine – I can feel it right now!!!!
I have again felt to connect to this beautiful blog -tenderness is going to be in the forefront of my livingness today. I feel that this is what my body is needing at the moment. Tenderness is “medicine” for my body. I have noticed that it is so easy to be in hardness and to express from this place of protection. This is not me in my true expression and being in tenderness allows me to be the true me.
True Anne, tenderness is indeed ‘good medicine’. When there are things we don’t want to feel or deal with, it is easy to let ourselves get hard to not feel, but in that we also hurt ourselves and put our bodies out of their natural harmony, which often can cause many forms of illness and disease. Thank you again Adrienne for reminding us of the power of Tenderness.
Love this Anne, tenderness is great medicine, as is this blog for me if I have gone a bit in hardness, like today.
It felt so yummy reading your tender blog after a big physical day Adrienne. I am now winding down very tenderly, thank you for describing tenderness so thoughtfully.
Great blog to remind us all of number 1. This is what I call a checking in, whenever I am lost, I come back to feeling tenderness in my body and anything can happen, Normally I drop the tension and feel whatever I have not been willing to feel, which the hardness protects or holds together, so many times when I connect to my tenderness and I have been for a while in hardness I cry, cause of all that tension or all those feelings that I was pushing away and getting numb.
It helps me enormously to connect with tenderness in my body when I feel lost in my mind. Just walk and feel how as I let go I can feel my yumminess inside the shoulders, in my arms in my chest…Thank you for a beautiful powerful article.
Reading your article Adrienne I experienced the hardness, push and drive, start to ebb away as I let my self go and feel my tenderness.
I loved when you said tenderness is not wishy-washy, and it has clarity and purpose, how true that is, thank you.
Love it, tenderness is medicine to the body!!!
Not only true medicine for the body, but also for relationships and how we treat each other!
Adrienne this is such a great blog to read and re read often as it is a great reminder for me about how to be in my day- full of tenderness in my interactions, touch, when changing positions and in my connection to me. Living in tenderness is like making love to myself.
Anne I like how describe “living in tenderness is like making love to myself’.
Thank you Sandra. Many times we hear self love, self love, how do we self love? Well this is a great way to self love, definitely one of them. Living in tenderness is making love to myself. It reminds me of what an EBM practitioner told me and it really hit deep (gently so): treat yourself with the same tenderness you would like your lover to treat you. Simple, isn’t it?
I have read this blog several times Adrienne to remind myself of the tenderness within, that is so accessible every moment. “These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body.” Thank you for these very wise words.
I can’t help but think of the meat analogy, that it has become rare that we witness the tenderness between people but when it does happen it’s magic and reveals so much more
Beautifully written blog on tenderness Adrienne. Tenderness sounds so plain and simple yet feels so important and amazing. As you say it melts me.
We have reduced tenderness in so many ways. Thanks for reminding me that this is everywhere and so easy to access in everything we do.
Exquisite blog Adrienne. Tenderness for me is something I feel very much first in my eyes.
I wanted to read this again today to connect to the tenderness I am.
I love following this blog and comments- I’m continually offered an opportunity to increasingly be aware of what I’m doing and how I’m doing it.
This morning I picked up a pen (possibly grabbed) and went to jot (short word – feeling like it means to do quickly so I don’t forget while the mind goes to the next 3 things) down a few words. And guess what happened next… the pen didn’t want to flow on the page! Then another tiny split second reaction of wanting to get on with the simple task.
At this point I stopped and asked where is the tenderness?
And it wasn’t there. Not that anything awful and harsh was happening but just the fact I was in doing and not being with my self in these very simple steps that I could feel the missing link for the pen to flow was the tenderness. I could also feel for the writing to flow from me to the page through the pen I need to be tender with me the whole way. One part can’t be isolated. Next time a pen doesn’t flow when the nib touches the page I’ll know that tenderness is being asked.
Beautiful Sandra. An awesome reminder.
I love the way you make it clear that tenderness is available all the time for all of us, as it flows from within and through us naturally if we do but choose it, and the gifts it brings when we do connect with it. I could feel, reading your blog, Adrienne, that it is not wishy-washy, as you say, but a powerful energy in its delicacy.
Thank you for your comment Joan – and the reminder that tenderness is available to us all all of the time ‘as it flows from within and through us naturally if we do but choose’. It confirms that life is about choices and that is something available to each and everyone of us as sons of God. It is as you say ‘a powerful energy in its delicacy’ that can fill our lives with joy and harmony and we can reflect this way of being out into the world. What an amazing opportunity we have to not only be truly ourselves but to allow others to see this intimate and beautiful part of us.
I love the way tenderness brings a certain quality to my day but unfortunately I do not choose it in every moment. This has been a great reminder Adrienne.
Adrienne I love how you raise the question whether we have reserved tenderness to just certain moments and situations instead of taking it as a whole, something that is always there, something that we can feel in every moment and that we easily can become masters of.
Thank you Adrienne for your reflection of tenderness – as you say ‘It is there for us all equally, naturally, easily whenever we choose to let its remarkable ways unfold as we go about our day to day lives, all the richer with it’. This is an amazing reminder to take out with me each and every day to support a foundation of tenderness within. The power of tenderness is awesome and more powerful than any hardness or force.
A very tender blog Adrienne. While reading I sensed a slight tension in my shoulders and immediately let it go. I’m writing this with a big smile on my face. Thank you!
How beautifully expressed! It´a a great reminder how important it is to check in to your own tenderness all the time, because it is always there and the best “friend” to have during the day.
Steff i–thank you I love the sense of tenderness being there as a loving best friend all day everyday. That’s me being my loving tender best friend always. It feels so warm and absolutely lovely. Worth cherishing.
Very lovely Adrienne, the corners of my lips relaxed and a smile expressed reading your blog, simply exquisite to connect with our own tenderness.
Tenderness: “it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything.” It sure does Adrienne, tenderness makes such a profound differenece to how I feel.
Something I’ve notice more recently, and I’m sure it’s connected with reading your lovely blog on tenderness. When I now feel a little bit of a need to itch the surface of my skin, I’m super aware of how I approach said itch. I’m very aware of my hand and the very simple action I’m about to perform. My hand slows down as it approaches the spot and then makes contact so very gently. Only then does the finger tip and nail connect and only then moves with the most minimal movement. A very gentle touch almost caress is usually all that is needed, and it feels really lovely.
It is always a choice to allow or not to allow… the tenderness we all are, the beauty we all are and the love that we all are and a lovely reminder that we don’t have to do anything, it is all inside, we just have to give ouselves space to let it all out.
Always richer for re-reading and allowing the feeling of tenderness to rise up from with-in. When reading this I was feeling how great if everyone’s day started with feeling these beautiful words as they are read out by someone who lives their tenderness. How different would peak hour commuting, the start to the school or workday and just being with each other feel?
Adrienne – I love the simplicity of what and how you shared here. what a gift to read – as I did so I felt some hardness in my jaw and face and let it go, and now as I type I am feeling the tenderness of my fingertips more fully. I could read this over and over again to help remind me how tender I am and how amazing it feels to allow that tenderness to be felt ever more fully and consistently.
This is very beautiful Adrienne, thank you for writing it.
Adrienne – this is a compact and simple blog that holds the key to the stillness we are so often disconnected from.
When i ponder how the warmth of the sun feels on my body – i know that hardness disappears, there is a surrender, a cellular welcome from every part of my body, a willingness to allow the rays in.
If we choose to be tender we can unlock all this and carry it through our day.
Many times i have observed this innate quality within my children and what a great marker it has been to remind me that we are all masters of tenderness.
Lovely read, full of tenderness, I can feel it in each word. I will print your blog out (with my tenderness) and pin it on my wall ( with my tenderness) to remind me to be more in my tenderness. Absolutely beautiful, Thank you Adrienne.
Thanks so much for this Adrienne. Tenderness does not come easily to me in my day to day actions. It is my big learning curve at present. What you’ve shared definitely makes it easier to grasp what tenderness is about and how important it is in life.
It is so true – tenderness is something that I do not have to go out and search for, it is naturally within me all of the time and it is a matter of if I choose to express it or not.
Tenderness as medicine for the body – melting away the hardness, yes indeed!
I love the picture of the sun your blog creates, its a very tender sun that heats my heart
I can relate to what you have written here Kristy, ‘ I feel we have become so used to the harshness that can exist in the world, that it takes some time readjusting to this more natural expression’, when I experienced people hugging me in a gentle way I would be very critical thinking that it felt wishy washing and weird, now I have become more tender with myself I can only be held, touched and cuddled gently and tenderly otherwise it hurts me and I will ask the person to be gentle with me.
I love this article Adrienne. Thanks for reminding me how my voice changes when I am tender with myself. I often hear the drive in my voice when I choose not to stop and listen to my body. When I feel how tender I am in the body a steady graceful voice appears.
Natasha, It was great to read how when feeling the tenderness how it affects your voice. Tenderness can be felt throughout our whole being affecting every organ in our bodies. I bet the organs feel blessed when we are in our tenderness.
Really enjoyed reading your blog again Adrienne thank you for sharing as such beautiful reminder. Who knew by us simply being tender and bringing tenderness to all that we do would have such a profound and life changing affect not just on ourselves but all those around us. Divine it is.
This is a beautiful blog and I wholeheartedly agree with all you have shared about tenderness. This has also been my experience with allowing tenderness to rise and replace the hardness. I love what you have shared with us in the following paragraph. It is spot on. “These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being, available whenever the choice is made and applicable well beyond special moments with a select few. Tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair – it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything.” Thank you Adrienne.
With every out breath as I read this, I feel the tenderness become greater – I let go of my defences and barriers to feeling the tenderness we can all be with, Awesome.
Adrienne, just reading this I could feel my body letting go and my tenderness coming through. Such a powerful read. Thank you.
Adrienne, thank you for sharing this. As I read this before I start my day it is such a great marker for me. I can really feel myself being more tender with the keys on the keyboard as I type and as Rebecca so beautifully shares- it melts away the hardness.
I love reading this article Adrienne, I melt and let go of the hardness and feel how tender I am reading it, so beautiful, thank you, ‘Tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair – it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything.’
Thank you for this beautiful blog, Adrienne. It is so amazing how allowing your self to be tender and gentle can ease hardness and bring you back to who you really are.
Thank you Adrienne for sharing your tenderness in this article. I have just had a drink of water and chose to tenderly pick up the glass and I felt the difference as my body responded to how my fingers held the glass and brought it to my lips. Tenderness flowed through my body as I drank the water. I can feel that tenderness can be in everything I do, it is just how I am with me as I do it.
I love this part – “Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.” I know this to be so true, in my every bone. I also see that I have not lived in line with or according to the tenderness that I know myself to be on the inside, which creates a tension in my body. It’s beautiful to connect to this because all I need to do is re-connect and re-line with the tenderness that is always inside me.
Such a yummy sentence Gill. ‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun, it’s there for everyone’ is so gorgeous. Can feel that warm sun just reading your words
What a gorgeous blog Adrienne, thank you. Tenderness, such a powerful word. I felt it in every part of my being as I was reading your words. I know when I allow myself and choose to be tender my day is smoother and all my family and everyone else around me can feel it and appreciate it also.
I can really feel in me what you are saying here Ariana, that hardening up in situations does not protect me but actually hurts me. If I go into my tenderness I can feel everything and in that feel I can handle the situation with ease.
What a world it would be… if everyone connected to their tenderness and shared that with others in their daily lives…
Your message is so beautifully clear and for a man it seams at times that tenderness is hard to come by, but you remind us that gentleness is always there with us if we choose.
Reading this blog literally changes my breath and allows me to appreciate that all actions can be tender. Why have less connection than one that is tender? Many thanks Adrienne this is a blog for me to re-read again. I really appreciate “The choice to allow tenderness feels powerful, deliberate and not half-hearted”.
Thanks Adrienne. I like your line ‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.’ and also how you have shared what you notice about when you choose tenderness, it is a great insight.
I appreciate the tender loving reflection you have created of something that is there for all. Thank-you Adrienne.
Thank you Adrienne, I really felt your blog
Adrienne I truly enjoyed your blog and as you say those exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being, I felt them very loving and tender as you expressed them.
What a powerful blog …I could feel my body letting go while reading this. An awesome reminder. Connecting to the tenderness that is inately within us all.
Wow Adrienne I could feel my whole body let go while reading your blog. Such power expressed in your words.
Thank you, Adrienne, for your beautiful colomn. ‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun’. I like that. Everyone can relate to the feeling of the sun on their skin and how relaxing that feels. How wonderful that you can connect with this warmth and benefit from it anytime you choose.
Such a beauty-full reminder! Until some years ago my body was very hard as was the way that I walked, talked, grabbed things, treated myself. When tenderness was introduced to me I saw it as a weakness and didn´t want to be tender at all. I thought I have to be tough to survive in this world. Slowly, slowly I realized – mainly inspired by people who allowed more tenderness in their lives – that tenderness is actually a strength. I experienced and still deepen my understanding of what it means to be tender. And as you described I feel more focused, powerful, energized, with plenty of time to do what needs to be done. Sometimes my old behaviour of rushing and pushing myself through the day slips in again which leaves me exhausted at the end of the day. However when I stay with my tenderness I am able to do more things in a day without feeling rushed or exhausted. And moreover it feels so lovely in my body to move tenderly and touch things including my own body in a tender way. Even my voice has changed and I speak more lovingly. How awesome is that!
A super gorgeous blog Adrienne. I can feel all the moments of tenderness that you have claimed and also how you know that you are that tenderness naturally deep with in.
So beautiful and healing to read your blog Adrienne and to be reminded how simply we can connect back to the tenderness that is innate within us all.
Simply beautiful Adrienne.
I liken the beginning of my own journey of re-discovering, ‘The Greatest Love is Within Me’, as the start of a real self-love affair. An affair that will never end this time around. It all started a number of years after I acquired my brain injury, which left me with physical nerve painful damage and limitations, and I had thoughts coming into me that I could end all this suffering, by ending my life.
This didn’t feel right, that wasn’t me, it wasn’t the way to go, so I really had to look deep within, and connect to the love that was just waiting for me.
As you so elegantly shared, ‘because it is in everyone, not just a chosen few, in every, single, one – without measure or favour’, if I may add, and it simply is just waiting for us.
What I love which you present Adrienne, is that tenderness is a choice.
Adrienne, that’s a very beautiful way to describe tenderness as flowing from us. Its quality then becomes present in every one of our senses, from the way we see things, touch things and as you say even taste things. It is also in our movements and thoughts. Come to think of it, when my tender thoughts are not there, then surely that lovely quality will have slipped away in the way I’m moving and sensing the world.
Andriene
What you have shared is exquisite. Like many others, I too embraced my own tenderness as I read and now as I type this comment ever so tenderly. Now that’s inspiring us all in our everyday livingness!
Thank you for sharing, Adrienne. I never really quite got the meaning of tenderness, never mind feeling it. The first time I felt it was when a man tenderly brushed the hair from my face, it was a precious moment and I felt quite delicate and vulnerable. I have only just started to learn to be tender with myself (thanks to the presentations of Universal Medicine) it takes practice and is ongoing, for me it’s about allowing myself to be vulnerable and being gentle with things that I do, and this applies it to everything, and now when I’m not being tender it sticks out and feels hard and abrupt, being tender brings me back to my-self.
How beautiful to read what you’ve just shared. It reminds me that tenderness isn’t a source I could run out of. It is a quality I can choose. 24/7. To give to me, into anything I do and to anyone I’m with. It is simply a choice.
Just reading this blog I relaxed into a more tender position! I have found that when I am really tender with myself, I am then able to be tender with another – whether I know them well or not – and the response is often surprisingly beautiful, and shows me that it is a natural way for us to be with each other.
Thank you dear Adrienne. Tenderness … such a gorgeous word. Reading your beautiful Blog has been a reminder to me that there are always deeper and more exquisite ways of expressing the Love that we truly are.
I am realising more and more the absolute wonder of tenderness. For almost the first forty years of my life it was not something I aspired to be but now it is my only way forward.
For me too Kevin – when I consider the ideals within the society, it is always about being tough and hard. Only the hardest would survive. Now I know, how false is this belief – there was a time I also invested into my protection, into my hardness. I’m so glad, that this time is over and I discover my tenderness more and more, my natural way of beingness.
Thank you Adrienne. Your sharing was deeply felt in my body while I was reading your words. You really gave me another level of awareness as to the immense power that tenderness brings in our day-to-day life. It makes me feel more me.
I could feel every word that was written in that blog. Right to my inner most. A great reminder that tenderness is simply a choice, and never a task etc.
I loved re-reading this article Adrienne! So tender and so true — tenderness is something innate in us as human beings, we simply have to choose it and in that choice the pushing through the day and the tension in our bodies lets go. Tenderness becomes a way of being brought to everything we do, it is with us as we type away on the keyboard (as I am now :-))) to putting ourselves to bed tucking the doona tenderly up so we keep warm to preparing a meal and brushing our teeth. This is medicine in everyday life as you so beautiful express here.
I love how you say tenderness is like the warmth of the sun, it feels so exquisite and true, it brings me a deep sense and understanding of my body, making me feel right at home.
I love the connection you make between tenderness and time, tenderness being the opposite to rushing and forcing our way through to get something done or get somewhere. And it is true, when I stop pushing and shoving and stop looking at the clock, when I feel my body and am present with me, time expands and accommodates me and everything I have to do with ease and grace.
I absolutely loved rereading this Adrienne it melts me to read it.
Thank you Adrienne for the reminder that we can choose to be tender in even the smallest of activities. Melting is a great word to describe feeling tender, like a candle the hard wax melts away as the flame continues to bring warmth and light. When I choose to feel tender there is a feeling of hardness relaxing and melting away and I am left feeling a warmth within me.
Thank you Adrienne – I will definitely take tenderness into my day.
Wow, I can feel my tenderness after reading this. Amazing.
It is so amazing that you have written – so beautifully – about one word, and that one word has invoked hundreds of equally beautiful responses. I just love reading yours and others experiences of their tenderness moments. My most exposing moment was recently as I was applying my makeup before heading for work, with Chris James’ latest CD, “Return to Love” playing in the background. I wasn’t being as present and as tender as I know I could have been, but when the track “Tenderness” began to play, I was stopped in my tracks. As Chris’ voice echoed through my bathroom I realised that I wasn’t being as tender with my face as I could have been, so while he sang I allowed myself to slowly re-connect to the tenderness I knew that was within me and as a result everything appeared to slow down and each movement was amplified. What unfolded was an exquisite expression of tenderness, which certainly set me a wonderful marker for each time I apply my makeup, in fact do anything for myself, and of course others. Thank you Adrienne for such a wonderful opportunity for so many to share what tenderness means to us.
You just melted me, Adrienne – the magic of tenderness in expression. It feels so yummy that I wonder how I can not make tenderness my top priority in every moment. Truly an inspirational everyday livingness.
Gosh, adding tenderness to each moment of your day is such a beautiful feeling and can truly transform your way of life.
So gorgeous to feel your relationship to tenderness Adrienne. My body certainly responded to reading this with a letting go (like others have expressed too). I can feel the potential of my tenderness and just how this simple and constant way of being can lead the way to a sharpened awareness. Through those simplicity of tenderness we can unlock (we put the lock on in the first place) the key to our inner wisdom and knowing.
Thank you Adrienne for your impulse talking about tenderness, while I am tender in my daily live I get totally different reflection from people around me. It seems like a ripple effect.
I like it, Iris, and I know that it is true. The way we are effects everyone around and it’d beautiful that we can be tender and reflect it to others
I love your revelation Adrienne:
tenderness is power and tenderness is medicine-
so tenderness is a powerful medicine for all of us-
taken daily it makes us healing very very fast.
By highlighting the power and medicinal quality of tenderness you expand on its already utter beauty and magic. The absoluteness of tenderness becomes palpable.
Very, very good reminder! By reading this blog I can feel how it is my choice to re-connect to my tenderness again – and I can see that it was and is always there, waiting for me to re-connect….
Thank for sharing your experience. Feeling tenderness again after I had left it for so long is simply beautiful. I believed it wasn’t alowwed or didn’t fit into life somehow, hardness was my way. Feeling my own and another’s tenderness is like coming home again, it’s delicate yet feels so power full all at the same time, exquisite!
Thank You Adrienne, for your clear observation of how being tender is. I could feel my body drop into it while reading the blog, its a great reminder of how tender I am!
What an absolutely exquisite piece of writing – thank-you Adrienne.
I am instantly brought to a more tender way with myself, with my own fingers on the keyboard as I write this…
my whole body softens more and I realise that tenderness is such a deeply natural way of being with oneself.
Why do I even need a reminder?
But clearly I did, and you offered the most exquisite reminder to allow this natural way of being, and deepen this quality in my everyday.
Absolute gold.
Thank you for reminding us of our tenderness and the sweetness that comes with it. For me learning to be tender in my communication was huge and today I love when this tenderness spreads out and I can surrender to it and feel held in it. Its like dipping into this wonderful warm golden bathwater and just surrender into your body.
So beautiful Adrienne. Lovely, light and so true. Tenderness is certainly not reserved for describing the quality of meat! When I allow for tenderness in my body and in my life, all of the ways in which I have held myself and thought I needed to be can fall away. Even when my thoughts are tender, I feel how I am holding myself, like I would naturally hold a child. Thank you Adrienne for this beautiful reminder…I will take this with me today.
I too Adrienne, love how you share about tenderness is like the warmth of the sun, it is there for everyone and is never turned off, as when I allow myself to just be with myself in any one moment and truly feel me, there it is, my own gorgeous tenderness. Such an amazingly supportive and love-ly feeling that never wavers or as you say, goes away, its just making the choice to allow that part of us that is naturally there and that is so needed in confirming our true nature to just be.
One of the things that struck me when I read this beautiful blog was how has going hard in our bodies, pushing ourselves to our limits and driving ourselves onward and upward become our so called normal and natural response or action to things? Why is it that we have to bring our focus and attention to be tender with ourselves? Or even worse that we do not remember how to be tender with ourselves? Somehow I think we have this around the wrong way.
Thank you for this article, rightly putting tenderness centre stage in our lives. I find tenderness, even allowing the thought of being tender with myself brings whatever hardness or push I am in to a big stop. Its like a big wake up call that lets me feel what really matters in life. How we are with ourselves and how we are with each other is what truly counts.
Thank you Adrienne for the gorgeous way you have have described this beautiful quality of tenderness – one that we all can connect to as it is a very true part of us all. I could feel for myself how much more there is to explore with this ever expanding deliciousness.
I love how you express “Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.” The thing I love about tenderness is that you can give it to yourself. I have been exploring how tender my touch can be when I wash my face at night and then apply my face cream. Tenderness of touch is such a beautiful and simple way to bring yourself back to the moment and bring a stop to the busyness you may have felt in the day. Tenderness helps me to feel how precious I am and to know that looking after my body is an investment worth making.
The moment I started to read your blog, I melted bit by bit. If just reading about tenderness can do this to me, imagine what connecting to the tenderness within me leads to! Thanks Adrienne for this wonderful reminder.
Thank you Adrienne for this tender treasure. What a reminder that our tenderness is always there just waiting for us to savour.
Wow. What a gorgeous invitation back to feeling tenderness. Thank you. I really enjoyed reading this.
This is so beautiful Adrienne and something I have been building into my each and every day. However the way you have shared the ‘details’ of where tenderness can be expressed has allowed me to feel where I can go even deeper with feeling that tenderness.
So true – ‘tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair – it melts away the hardness.’ I love how tenderness feels.
From the moment I began to read your blog Adrienne, I felt my whole body drop into tenderness, what a blessing. Thank you for sharing.
Beautiful way to describe what tenderness is and feels like, very real and relatable
Even just reading this blog on tenderness has called my body back to a known stillness and as Adrienne wrote, I too feel ‘super-present!’
Awesome, timely reminder!
A stunning article Adrienne expanding for us what tenderness truly means and how natural this is for all of us – This is an article that I will return to often.
For me my voice is a great marker to see if i have gone into hardness. I start to speak louder and with more toughness in it. I use that voice when I judge, when I am in reaction or when I want things to be different. The moment I realize this, I can make a choice and return to my natural tender voice. Beautiful, because while writing this, I realize how much I love my voice.
Yes, Mariette, voice is such a giveaway for hardness and anxiousness. My voice gets a high pitched “edge” when I am tense or worried, and everything I say turns into a question…even when it is not a question.
Our voices are so meltingly beautiful when we are tender.
Yes that’s very true Rachel, and our eyes soften too!
My voice is for me a great marker to feel if i have gone into a hardness, a protection. The moment I speak louder, I know that I have left my tenderness. These are very often moments that I am in a reaction towards somebody or a situation, that I am judging or that I want somebody or something to be different. My voice is helping me a lot, and I have to say, since doing the workshops with Chris James from Australia, my voice has changed a lot and so has my connection to myself and my tenderness has changed a lot.
Just reading this blog returns me to feeling my tenderness and a deep loving joy too.
I love that we are all innately tender – “Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few. “ Is such a great way to remember and really connect with the tenderness we are.
“A tender thought” – amazing Adrienne. So often my thoughts are anything but tender. Always “could have…” “why didn’t I….” and that old and well worn favourite “not good enough”.
Yet we can cultivate tender thoughts in just the same way that I can allow my arms down to the tips of my fingers to become tender as I type this comment.
Thank you Adrienne, your tenderness is a blessing to us all.
Adrienne what a beautiful blog. Tenderness is a choice I can choose, a gift I can give myself any time of day, in any situation, I don’t have to earn it but I can live in a way that allows more of it in my life. What a beautiful reminder. I could feel myself melt as I read this. Thank you.
‘Have you beheld a tender act?’
Yes I have and it was an absolute joy to behold. I just sat and watched and appreciated the love and care that was shown in this moment. It moved me and inspired me.
Reading your words I melted again this morning. Such a powerful and healing article, thank you Adrienne
Same here Jane and i’ve been feeling recently the need to bring a greater awareness of tenderness to my everyday at work – it would then be a very different day.
I noticed at work yesterday how naturally tender I have become compared with how I used to be. I did take a moment to appreciate this as I used to be forever taking skin of my fingers and damaging my hands,using them as just another tool and not the wonderful tender parts of body that they are.
I feel the same Monica, ‘that tenderness you speak of, I’ve reconnected to again.’
it feels beautiful to re-connect to this tenderness, I can feel how tender my hands and fingers are and I can feel my body let go – beautiful!
A great reminder that tenderness is always readily available to be accessed and connected to. It is just a choice away.
I love what you share that there is no off button….i have been in the illusion that there is a button and that i can lose my tenderness or thinking that it is not there, but it’s always there, because it is who i am. I am tender, and i don’t have to do anything for it. Great inspiration this blog.
We cannot be enough reminded to bring the Quality of tenderness in everything we do. I did a Workshop this Weekend learning exercises for the Body. I was instructed to Release my jaw and then to Close it with tenderness. Beautyfull to Feel!!
Great blog. I’d never fully considered the concept of a tender thought before and have only really held tenderness as something that can be felt or bestowed. So this is medicine for the mind as well as the body. Thank you for widening my horizons!
This is true for me too Cathy, ‘I’d never fully considered the concept of a tender thought before and have only really held tenderness as something that can be felt or bestowed’, it’s great to have this awareness now.
I just love coming to this page as it naturally reflects my tenderness too, it’s such a lovely reminder that no matter what we are feeling or what is happening around us, when we stop and feel we are all naturally tender, it cannot ever be something we lose. It’s always with us just waiting for us to stop and allow it to be, and as I am learning it feels so lovely and honouring to be gentle and deeply tender with myself and all I do.
A gorgeous description of what tenderness is, and has inspired me to experiment with being more tender in the way I move and do things, I love that feeling of melting away the hardness.
Yes, I like this way of thinking about tenderness too, as something that is there, waiting for us to choose it. Somehow put that way it seems less likely that I will judge myself harshly when I am not tender, and say to myself, ‘ YOU are not tender’. Instead I can just say, ‘tenderness is there always, I can choose it right now’.
What a beautiful blog to read, before bedtime too. I can feel how bringing tenderness into the way I prepare to go to bed will support me in my sleep and into tomorrow too.
The moment i read this blog it’s like an invitation to just stop for a moment and ask myself: where am i with my thoughts, how does my body feel, how does my voice feel and am i tender with myself? If not, it is so lovely to experience that i can make that choice and to just breathe in and out and feel what is there. So many times there is a hardness, a tension and my voice is always a great indicator. I start to talk louder and harsh, which tells me it’s time to melt again….
I am sitting in my room melting in the sun, it is cold and crystal clear outside and I am melting even more reading this awesome blog Adrienne and some of the comments. Just allowing myself to feel my tenderness and absolute joy that is related with this feeling of being in my natural state of being, so light, so tender.
I had solar panels installed 3 years ago. Since then there has not been a single day when they did not generate solar energy, yes even on the darkest day, somehow those rays find their way through the clouds
It is very easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life so it’s always good to come back to this blog for that gentle reminder that we have the choice in everything we do, to do it with tenderness. As you say Adrienne, it starts with how we treat ourselves in those many small ways that will build a foundation of true tenderness.
What I love is that I can feel the tenderness of this blog and all you describe , even when I simply look at the title and image, my whole body melts.
I agree Gyl its a lovely feeling to receive when reading the blog. I also really enjoyed this line today – “Have we limited tenderness to the quality of meat or something expressed between lovers” it’s something I think we do without thinking. We limit tenderness yet when reminded of it – it is there in full and melts our whole body.
Reading this has helped me reconnect to what tenderness brings. When I choose to be tender in all my actions, how I touch, eat, speak I can feel a different quality throughout my body which supports me to be only tender as I go through the day. This is an ongoing and deepening process. Thank you for the reminder, Adrienne 🙂
I agree Fiona, there is no ‘wishy washy’ with tenderness – something I used to have felt may be the case. I have found there to be the opposite, a huge strength and power coming with tenderness. It is quite remarkable and not at all the ‘sissy’ version I thought it was when I was growing up. I found when I would express my tenderness growing up, especially at school, I would get picked on by other boys, it was as if it wasn’t being manly enough, and so I hid my tender side away. Now I am slowly letting it out more and more and seeing the strength of it.
‘The choice to allow tenderness feels powerful, deliberate and not half hearted’. It’s great to have the reminder that it is very much a choice to be tender, I can feel the absolute truth in these words.
Adrienne what stuck with me when reading this today is, “it starts with how we treat ourselves in a million small ways throughout the day”… its a great reminder of the fact tenderness can be there in everything, based on how we are with ourselves.
“These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being, available whenever the choice is made and applicable well beyond special moments with a select few.”
Wise words indeed.
Thank you for the reminder of how amazing tenderness feels Adrienne. Sometimes for me it is easy to forget to take advantage of the tenderness I naturally have access to, if I so choose.
Tenderness in recent years has been this massive new word for me, I have had a few Ahhh moments when I have realized how little tender moments have been in my life, I almost did not recognise what it was or how to do it. When I had been doing it I was not completely aware of it’s significance. I am slowly learning how supportive tenderness can be in life for myself and others. Thank you for sharing.
This is such a great article. Although I know the power of tenderness I still find myself in old patterns of behaviour of hardening and doing and find this article a great reminder of my tenderness.
Dear Adrienne, I love coming back to this beautiful tribute to tenderness and be reminded of its importance in our every movement, feeling or thought – thank you.
‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun. ‘ I love it melting away the hardness and allowing a flow in the body reflecting this way of being, what a great sharing Adrienne, thank you. The depth of tenderness is exquisite in all of us if we choose it. A great reminder of the tenderness we naturally are to connect to always.
A beautiful blog Adrienne. A reminder that tenderness is great medicine for everyone, it brings warmth to us all as does the sun.
Tenderness is such a beautiful word it is one of those words that sounds like the actual meaning/feeling. We should talk about tenderness more often it would remind us there is a different way to be with ourselves and others. Thank you : ) xx
This is so true Vicky, when I read about this word or talk about it, it connects me to the feeling of tenderness
I agree Vicky, tenderness is a beautiful word with a beautiful meaning and a beautiful feeling. It is underused in all senses.
Yes Vicky, the word “Tenderness” sounds like what it feels. The same goes with its French translation “Tendresse”. Both words sound very delicate and feels like white feathers delicately landing on the ground.
Adrienne this is a totally gorgeous blog that melts us on reading its tender words. Thank you for dwelling on this beautiful quality.
Beautiful Adrienne. You are so right, tenderness is free for all and it melts away so many “problems” we impose upon ourselves…..
Adrienne your blog is so amazing. I can relate so much with what you say ! I have made tenderness my medicine too and it is changing the way I am in the world, with others and with myself. I have noticed that I can’t be tender if I am not present and those 2 qualities in my being produce a life that is lighter, more spacious and more fun.
What happened to love and tenderness last friday. We had what is known as BLACK FRIDAY, where all hell breaks out, as people fight over products on sale at a cheaper price. People’s dignity truly went out the door that day, along with love and tenderness.
Yes, Mike it was rather crazy! it just highlights how much we are missing the connection to our tender selves by all the created commotion.
Tenderness is loving yourself. Sensitive to your feelings, and all others around you.
A lovely description of tenderness Mike, thank you, ‘Tenderness is loving yourself. Sensitive to your feelings, and all others around you.’
Yes Adrienne, it is there for everyone, we just have to chose it, let go and allow for the wonderful quality to be in our bodies and out from us to everything we do, touch, speak. When times are hard, I notice I want to receive tenderness from other people, from my friends, from my partner, from the world, and I react if I don´t get it. It is such a natural quality for me, I just need to remember to chose it and express it out, instead of refusing to have it and asking the world to be tender with me cause I am struggling for instance. Choose to have it because it is mine and I don´t need anyone to express it but me to choose it. Beautiful article, beautiful quality, reclaiming it is vital for many of us.
Adrienne. Just finished reading your lovely blog again, about tenderness and love. Thinking what was I going to write on my weekly blog. I needed some inspiration, and suddenly I knew what it would be this week. So a big thank you to you.
“The choice to allow tenderness feels powerful, deliberate and not half-hearted.” Although this is completely true it has been such a paradox to me as a man who was brought up to be tough, ‘to put up and get on’, that being tender was unmanly and weak. What a revelation to discover the truth and that tenderness is all that you say and more. To take down my shield of protection is taking time but as I do and allow my true, tender nature, to be my normal expression, so I am discovering my power. Who would have thought it? I certainly would not have if it had not been for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I love coming back to re-read your beautiful article Adrienne. This time “melting the hardness” has touched a ‘tender’ spot in me, re-connecting me to my tenderness, I so often over ride and dis-regard.
A great reminder this morning to continue to deepen the tenderness that I am growing in my body. This tenderness melts the hardness that I go into to protect myself from hurt or to ‘get things done’ in the day. In this tenderness I feel my true self again.
This blog is so light to read and I can feel your tenderness, Adrienne through the words. “Tenderness flows from within me and through me. Tenderness can be felt in my voice, my touch, my thoughts, my ears and my eyes.” This shows how it is so important and supportive to connect to and feel in ourselves, I know when I do this I treat my body with more love and care, and this is then what I take out into the world – Beautiful – thank you.
I love coming back to this blog. Today I take the inspiration into my day of:
‘It seems to me that tenderness is much bigger than this and that it starts with how we treat ourselves in a million small ways throughout the day.’ Tenderness it will be all day in every little detail.
Everyday I love the awareness shared from all – stemming form the wonderful expression of how tenderness truly is in this blog.
This morning bought a deeper level of awareness and connection from within me- and that is that the tenderness is innately present all the time. If I choose to bring it from the inside out to what/how I’m living is the point of difference.
Tenderness already exists I don’t have to work at it and try to be tender I am already all of that and so much more, as we all are.
Wow – what a beautiful blog and reminder how tender and delicate I am. I can feel myself melt at the beauty, grace and tender quality you have written this in. I often forget how tender I can be, the rushing, the pushing, the overdrive – it’s so easy to push myself out of the tenderness but when I do take that moment to feel how truly beautiful and tender I am I feel everything and the quality feels so expansive and light. I know when I choose that others can feel it around me too. You have inspired me Adrienne to go deeper into my tenderness and truly embrace that delicateness that brings the quality and touch of tenderness to everything. With deep appreciation – thank you.
Sometimes when I have lived a back log of tension and feel my body in it’s hardness it almost like my muscles are like rods of steel or ice. When I connect to the word tenderness my body immediately responds and softens. I get an image of melting ice which is the power, as you describe Adrienne, from the warmth of the sun. Even the largest and most stubborn ice blocks have to respond to the laws of heat. It is impossible for them to stay solid.. there is no choice in the matter. Likewise with my body, the power of tenderness is the healing element and my body has to respond accordingly… all I have to do is make the choice to connect to tenderness and the rest gets taken care of by natural law.
I know that if I appear to lose my tenderness during the day, just reading this article can help me to let go and feel the tenderness that was there all along. Can’t thank you enough Adrienne.
“Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.”
So beautiful Adrienne. The tenderness of your sharing is both tangible and inspiring. A timely reminder of bringing tenderness to all we do and the beauty of how this feels and supports us in our day.
Beverley a great point to reflect on today. I notice when I read this article the tenderness return in my fingertips. A great reminder of how I’m typing away every day at work!
What I am coming to learn is how important it is to remind ourselves to bring ourselves back to tenderness in everything we do, so we can connect and feel it in our body. It us so easy to loose this and the body becomes hard. What I am noticing if I loose my connection to tenderness, people around me start to reflect hardness, aggression and anger. For me this is a quick alarm bells to look at myself and connect back to my tenderness.
Perfect for me to read this Adrienne, as I prepare for my day.
Thank you Adrienne for a beautiful reflection of tenderness.
“I have a feeling that when everyone gets tenderness in relationships, there will be no more domestic violence” I agree Ariana. Tenderness for ourselves and our loved ones – which could be everyone – what a beautiful feeling that brings.
Awesome tender blog Adrienne, written in tenderness, thank you!
The thing that strikes me most over and over again is the effect tenderness has on my body. With tenderness there is no place for hardness and this allows me to feel more vital and more (literally) warm in my body. Also the effect of tenderness in relationships with others is so huge: it makes the difference between connection or not really able to connect. So thank you again for bringing tenderness so clearly to the fore.
I have just been really learning more about allowing much more tenderness in my life, and have been focussing on my hands and looking after them. It has been very interesting, and I am learning a lot of how I can avoid this tenderness and when I allow it how much more at ease I feel.
Adrienne reading your blog at the beginning of the day is very healing, my body lets go and I can feel a warm glow when I read your words. I am becoming much more aware of bringing tenderness into my thoughts and how this makes a difference to my day. The hardness begins to melts, and life starts to flow again.
I love this blog as it is always a great reminder to be tender from the start of the day and to be playful with it.
I like this analogy Adrienne: “Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few” – all we need to do is take the sunglasses off!
We are all tender and loving people. If we look carefully we can see it all around us. Let’s grab a handful of it and spread it around like confetti. Imagine the connections and joy it can bring.
This is a great reminder Mike, ‘we are all tender and loving people’, that this is how we naturally are.
Hi, Adrienne. Every time I read this blog, I find a new gem to take away with me. I love this line – “Tenderness is definite and delicate all at once”, as it captures for me the strength and the openness that I feel when I surrender the control and let myself be. Your words on tenderness are great medicine to keep coming back to.
Reading your article again Adrienne, I can feel the tenderness spread from my head down to my toes. And the trying and striving just ceases to exist.
Tenderness is such a foreign concept to many. It is so easy to not value tenderness. As a world of people we all need reminding how naturally tender we are and can be, and how this quality within us is so powerful in such a beautiful way.
That is so true Rebecca. Before being reminded of what Tenderness was my life was anything but Tender and I had no real idea what the word meant. It’s great how simple Adrienne makes it with “a little awareness and focus”.
David, thank you for a lovely gentle reminder. The phrase “A little awareness and FOCUS” has really stood out to me, and I’m going to playfully include focus in in my day.
I agree Rebecca tenderness is a foreign concept to many – for me it was it too. To value my tenderness was a process of building it step by step. What was very helpful for me was that there were people around me living this tenderness already so that I can observe and find out for myself that tenderness is not a weakness but a powerful strength. Yes we all need reminding each other how naturally tender we are.
Re-reading this blog, I am struck by you comment, Adrienne, that tenderness has purpose. What this means to me is that with everything that I do, say or think I have the responsibility of confirming that lovely quality in myself and others.
Tenderness for me used to be just a word from a song in the 1950s “Try a little tenderness”
Since hearing Serge Benhayon encourage us to allow tenderness into our lives, I realise we do not have to “try” tenderness, as you say Adrienne,” tenderness flows naturally from within and through us”, it is indeed great medicine.
The innateness of our tenderness is so clear when you read the comments to this blog, it makes us drop more into our bodies as we allow ourselves to be in the quality that is so natural to us.
This article should be in every single doctor’s waiting room in the world. It is pure gold. As is the tenderness that is in all of us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for a such a powerful presentation.
I agree Otto and would add that it should be on every fridge door in the world! I have printed it out and stuck it on mine! Such a beautifully simple and powerful description of tenderness is in this blog that we can all relate deeply too. When you read this description of tenderness you realise that we all want this so much in our lives every day.
Absolutely Andrew. Reading it gives me an opportunity to connect deeply to my own tenderness too. I am going to print it off and take it into work. A beautiful reminder for every day.
Hi Leigh feel to add to your comments about the constancy of the sun and its warmth. I have always been inspired when I fly how quickly a plane can leave a wet gloomy day and climb up into the sun and would endeavour to remember that on a grey day.
Now I have solar panel and can monitor the daily amount of power which is generated. In 3 years, though there have been many grey days apparently with no sun, there has never been a day with zero power.
What a lovely reminder that our tenderness can always shine through however thick and stormy the clouds appear to be.
Hi Kathie, that’s a lovely analogy, thank you.
Reading this is such a loving reminder to keep it real and bring me back to the moment.
There is so much to feel and appreciate in each and every second. And do it with a tenderness that is allowing and powerful.
As I read this blog I can feel my body relax and I become much more gentle in my body.
I’d like to bring this more and more into the everyday.
Just reading your blog has made me feel tender. A lovely reminder that I can bring tenderness into lots of areas of my daily life.
Thank you for such a tender reminder that not only is tenderness something I can feel in any moment but also the fact that, like the sun it does not change. The sun’s warmth still shines it is only our environment that may at times make it seem like it is not there. Just like our choices can make it appear that tenderness is a million miles away when it is in fact always with us.
For years the only meaning tenderness I had was in describing a perfectly cooked steak and it was yummy. Now that I have rediscovered what true tenderness in ones self is…when I am in my tenderness I feel yummy.
We all have so much tenderness in our bodies, and there are so many ways we can bring out that tenderness in life.
One way is just sit quietly for a while, and do a few gentle breaths. Feel the DIFFERENCE.
It is so lovely to re-read your article Adrienne, I love your practical examples of tenderness, ‘Tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair – it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything.’ Truly inspiring.
Thank you Adrienne, I have come back to this blog a few times now and it has helped me to choose and appreciate those moments of tenderness. My day does have a different quality to it and I am more present when I choose tenderness.
I recently experienced a moment of exquisite tenderness during an esoteric healing session where the practitioner put the blanket lovingly and tenderly over my body – my body began to let go and melt away. In this simple moment, I experienced a depth of tenderness i have not felt before and therefore i found I was able to deepen my own expression of tenderness from there on. Amazing!
Janina your comment reminds me of a similar experience during an esoteric healing course presented by Universal Medicine. A practitioner put her hands so tenderly on my face that I cried for ten minutes as I was met with the most loving tenderness. It helped me release so much sadness that day. That’s the real power of tenderness !
I found this a really sweet and light read and feeling much more tender for myself afterwards. Thank you Adrienne.
I love your list of the things you notice when your tender, reading it makes me feel all of me. The list is definitely a daily reminder for the fridge door.
Pure Gold – I really enjoy reading this blog and come back time and time again. The more I do the more I am starting to notice the tenderness in things around me and then the tenderness in other people I talk to – something I used to discount.
As I explore what tenderness is for me I too feel my body melt when just saying the word. I hadn’t however considered that my taste could be tender! I’m inspired to be exploring just how many areas tenderness touches and the depth that it goes.
Thank you for the reminder to explore and have a little fun discovering all the ways to be tender. It’s great to imagine how different eating can be, if just dedicating a moment to tenderly chewing.
I am a student of my tenderness as everyday it shows me how I can deepen that tenderness for myself and thus others. In all the years growing up and through adulthood, I would never have considered that I had such tenderness in me, let alone it being a strength that keeps me from getting overwhelmed in life. It is a moment to moment choice to make because the conditioning to be hard and harsh in my movements and thoughts is very ingrained. Presence is the key that unlocks the gorgeousness of tenderness.
What a great and tender morning I have had with myself. I decided to go out and clean up the garden and cut the grass, before the winter weather sets in. I was in my element, no rush, listening to the birds, lovely autumnal day, blue sky and the sun shining through. Thanking God for all the beauty around me, and that included my darling wife. Once in a while it is great to be with one’s self and contemplate what we have in this life, being open to love and tenderness, with all in this world.
So beautifully expressed Mike – This is confirmed from how our garden is reflecting the tenderness you have tended it with too – it looks and feels amazing – and so are you!
I love how being aware of our tenderness brings more tenderness to the surface which affects everything and as this is appreciated and accepted, there is even more tenderness coming to everyday things..
I really enjoyed reading your comment Mike, the Joy shines through and is very inspiring. Cutting the grass in tenderness.. I never would have thought that possible before.
I feel I am not far from the start line with “how I treat myself in a million small ways in a day”. So great timing for me to read this tenderly written blog. I appreciate your sharing Adrienne the loving ways “with a little awareness and focus” how we can show more tenderness towards ourselves and others. I long to become a “master of tenderness” its on its way…………
I love the way I find the blog that I need the most on any given day. It is very inspiring to read and feel how you and others are describing your experiences, with being present and tender and how this is making a big difference to your lives. Thank you Adrienne for your contribution.
Adrienna. Re-read your blog again, and you have shown us how we can express affection by being more loving with one’s self and other’s. Having more consideration for people, and by our gentleness.
So true, tenderness is there for anyone who chooses it. My experiance of tenderness is when I make any act out of line I can feel the hard and quite frantic state it puts me in.
Just reading this article asks me to stop and be more tender and gentle in what I’m doing.
And the difference I feel when I actually slow down is enormous. I’m no longer thinking about 10 things at once. It’s lovely to be reminded of this at work, where I tend to go into a drive over and above staying with me. Thank you for this, Adrienne. Certainly something I want to bring more and more of into my every moment.
What a great reminder that tenderness is always available to us, any time of day, any day of the year. It doesn’t leave us or switch off out of our reach – I realise that when I don’t feel tender it’s been my own choice to walk away from it.
Just saying the word ‘tenderness’ I can feel myself letting go and connecting to the tenderness within me. Thank you Adrienne for an inspiring article.
I had this moment this week when I was out walking. There was a quick rain shower and then the sun came out between the trees. I stopped when the warm sun rays shone down and I felt it cover my body with warmth. I noted how I had been holding my body a little harder and tense in the rain because I had decided not to take a coat. When the sun came I could feel a huge relaxation and expansion, my body responded to the changing environment and I felt myself become more tender and relaxed. I am still learning what tenderness means for me. When I read you blog, I felt a sense of that tenderness come again. Thank you for sharing.
Wow what a beautiful sharing on tenderness, I love it so much and really felt my tenderness melting on reading it. What a great sharing to connect to and appreciate even more. The gift of this tenderness and the joy that comes from it; just being oneself is real and natural as a way of being that we know. So simple and loving, thank you Adrienne.
I love your blogs Adrienne, you are a true Angel, here to inspire us all with the truth of your words and how you live it each day…
Wow what a lovely way to live Ariana, “being tender allows us to feel what there is to feel and hold ourselves in tenderness as we do so.”
I love your discussion on this Ladies. I long to feel the tenderness within myself. I know that it is there but this old knee jerk reaction of reacting to situations with hardness kicks in defence. What your comments are a reminder of is that it is possible to allow tenderness to blossom if we are open to it and acknowledge that it is there inside of us. One thing I find helpful is that when I notice I’m having unkind or critical thoughts, I remind myself to be gentle and tender with my thoughts – not change them, but with that little reminder, seems to calm down the destructive trail I could go down.
Hi Shevon, I love how beautiful it feels – “allow tenderness to blossom” – immediately I felt I can allow that in my body also. Thank you.
It is just lovely to re-connect to this blog about tenderness – something so simple, so accessible and there all the time. Thank you Adrienne for sharing this.
I agree, Janet, re-reading this blog reveals greater depths every time, yet it is all so simple. Whenever I allow myself to feel tender, my whole body melts and everything becomes clearer.
“These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being.” Boy oh Boy I massively testify to that. Life for me has been very full on for the last couple of weeks. When I allow myself to be truly tender or am touched with true tenderness by my partner or kids, I can literally feel my body drinking in the medicine, relaxing, healing, re-configuring…basically just saying “Hallelujah! Yes Please!!” Tenderness is medicine. Proper, scientific, healing medicine.
Yes Otto amazing medicine – those moments of tenderness feel like they bring us to a whole other realm instantly whenever we let them in…so different to what a spoonful of sugar, a drink, a run, a fast drive home, or a screen can offer.
This is a beautiful blog that is a gentle reminder that we can be tender if we choose to in our day. For me, it has definitely changed me in the way I go about my day. As a prison governor working in a very hard environment the last 17 years, it has shown me that I can still be tender with myself and this can be inspiring to others. It also brings quality into my day and things flow. Definitely a work in progress for me daily.
Like you QA being tender with myself is a work in progress but what I have noticed is that, it is so easy to come back to tenderness and to feel very quickly the difference and the effect it has on the body.
Definitely Julie we can forget very quickly to be tender but remember very quickly to be hard on ourselves!
My latest tenderness ‘hot spot’ – removing shopping, work files etc. from my car. I noticed how I put items in the passenger foot well of my car and then had been reaching over to ‘haul’ them out, over the gear stick and between me and the steering wheel. So now I use how I will remove the items to determine the best place to put them into the car; when I do end up with items in the passenger side I walk around the car to recover them; when I have several small items I have just put on the passenger seat and then I have a bag to put them in, to take them into the house. It all seems a bit obvious now, but hasn’t been for all the years that I have struggled!
Adrienne, having just read your blog and having come in tired, it has awakened my body from the feeling of tiredness and brought me back to being me.
A really needed read for me to stop and consider, firstly – how tenderness is a choice at each and every moment, and secondly – how I can find it easier to not choose tenderness out of urgency or a rush to get things done – put before HOW I do things.
I love this as an inspiration to look at the finer details in all that I do. Kathie – your example of even just washing our hair is a great one. It all starts with the simple awareness in the little things we do, and how we bring more tenderness to them!
I’m looking forward to building that.
I agree, my body just melts when I allow it to be tender and it is lovely to see and feel in others as well, but if I am honest I don’t allow this tenderness all the time or sometimes forget to allow myself to be tender. Thank you for sharing this and reminding me.
Hi Adrienne. I remembered your article when I was brushing my hair the other day and I realised I had gone hard and in a rush to get it done.
My latest realization – I was having a shower and really enjoying the feeling of the water running through my hair… then I added the shampoo. I suddenly noticed that I had screwed my face up really tight. So I straighten it out again only to find it was back screwed up within seconds. Then I remember having my hair washed as a child, with my head hanging over a wash hand basin and the soap getting in my eyes. I recall my mother buying a remarkable ‘device’ which was like the brim of a hat which was supposed to keep out the suds… it didn’t. But now I am an adult! Shampoos have changed greatly. I can control how I wash my hair and be aware in which direction the soapy water is draining away. I don’t need to screw my face up tightly. When I paid particular attention, I noticed that in fact no suds went into my eyes. As I work with this every time I wash my hair now, I am wondering what other protection I have acquired through my life against events that don’t happen now! All part of my discovering new ways to be more tender with myself.
Kathie that is amazing – that one simple moment and all it contained. A great example of how following even the smallest thread of awareness (like noticing screwing up your face when you add shampoo to your hair) can lead to unravelling knots we’ve been holding onto that keep us hard and twisted. Every knot undone leaves us more spacious and naturally tender, free to enjoy the moment (of washing our hair for example!) in full.
Thanks Kathie, your comment made my laugh as it made me remember awful hair washing experiences of childhood, and even worse the rough way in which it was towel dried. I still need a constant gentle reminder to be tender with myself and the way I wash my hair is a good little check-in of how that is going.
Oo yes Kevin, I had forgotten about the brisk rub with the towel, which I seem to recall being justified as stimulating the scalp so we wouldn’t go bald in later life. In fact your comment has got me wondering how gently I towel dry my hair and massage my head these days, and whether there is a vestige of the old rough scalp stimulation theory still working away in there. Thank you
I remember this too. How funny, and such a cool example of the littlest habits we pick up and carry through every day without realizing. I wonder how many others we have picked up along the way?
Beautiful Kathie. I can feel your exquisite tenderness through your comment.
Thank you Adrienne for this delightful article. I was inspired by all the different expressions of tenderness in the article and comments, found myself going yes yes yes and now I am ready to choose more tenderness in my life. Thanks for the inspiration.
Being tender with one’s self, you can pass that tenderness to all other ‘s, as they will see the warmth, tenderness and love in you.
It’s that time of year, the seasons are changing, not cold enough for the full central heating , but I noticed a distinct chill when showering. Then it came to me, put on the water heating. Just 10 minutes is enough to heat the bathroom radiator and have a warm towel and warm clothes to start my day – what a difference!
I was discussing this with a friend, all the ‘rules’ we have about when you can and can’t put the heating on linked to a date in the calendar rather than the temperature and how we feel! How crazy is that?
So thank you everyone for your reflections on tenderness
This is an inspiring blog Adrienne. …’it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything’ – so true, particularly at school I can sometimes notice myself going into ‘protection mode’ or hardness as I am feeling overwhelmed with lessons, teachers, friends, school politics etc. But if I reconnect to tenderness, it is very easy for me to let go of all of that unneeded drama.
I’m feeling the amazing accessibility of tenderness to all. I love the lived joy you bring to this article Adrienne, deep appreciation.
Quite amazing to see a simple word depicted so deeply and then expressed in they way you live.
Thanks Adrienne for a beautiful sharing here. Tenderness is medicine free to all… I’m inspired by you to reacquaint myself with my tenderness… I often notice how tense my right shoulder is and when I let it go, the moment totally changes – the same when I am rushing and I choose to walk slowly and tenderly… Bringing more tenderness is absolutely the way forward for me, thank you.
Whilst reading this article I could feel my own tenderness inside.
Great observation Ariana. Reading this article brings out the tenderness in me as I read the words and then press each key in reply and acceptance of the tenderness that is within me and waiting to be felt whenever I choose.
Agreed, I too am finding myself typing even more gently than when I first turned my laptop on. It’s amazing how simple it is to return to the tenderness within me, and in doing so easily shows me how un-tender I have been up until now.
Thanks for this gorgeous description of tenderness written with such tenderness that I can’t help but feel more tender reading it! Loved the analogy of tenderness with the sun. Spot on.
Again I find myself returning to this blog when I am being particularly hard on myself and I am able to feel the tenderness which never left and was there all along just waiting patiently for me to realise.
What a great way to be able to enjoy everything that you do and to have less of that stress about completing things in the day. I can relate to that feeling of tenderness and have enjoyed such an experience while doing whatever is needed to be done in the day.
Reading this again brings me back to tenderness, thank you.
I read your blog often Adrienne, as, like Tim, I start to feel the tenderness in my body when I read it, and it certainly does make a difference to how I live from then on, till I forget its there again. But more and more I come back to it myself and feel the whole quality of my body change, and my attitude to myself and others. Tender thoughts are so important to counteract the often hard and judgmental thoughts we allow to form and affect others, and they lead to tender action for the benefit of us all.
Joan, thank you for this comment. Reading Adrienne’s blog again today has brought home how tenderness starts with how we are with ourselves. This is something I’d love to explore further and will today.
Thank you for your inspiring blog. I can feel the power of tenderness in the way you express it.
Hi Adrienne, thank you for sharing this beautiful, tender blog, just reading this I started to feel tender and then I had an amazing feeling in my body as I began to remember the times when I had truly felt the tenderness of someones hand, of someones words or a tender look. Awesome.
This blog is even better on the 2nd visit! I’m coming back for more. What was so beautiful reading it this time was the way that the words became irrelevant – it was the tenderness with which it was written that I felt so powerfully. This is a living example of tenderness and a living inspiration for the tenderness in us all. Wowzzers – I feel gorgeous right now!
Adrienne, tenderness flows in your beautifully written piece, thank you
I appreciate this article. Tenderness does feel very natural and true when I choose it, and I can see it present in every person that I meet.
What a beautiful blog to read over and over again – this time I particularly felt it when you said that tenderness ‘starts with how we treat ourselves in a million small ways throughout the day.’ Every moment is an opportunity for us to be tender – your words are a lovely reminder of those million small ways.
Thank you for helping me to remember tenderness today. I loved the questions you asked especially “have you ever experienced a tender thought” in reading that I then noticed how hard my thoughts have been.
Vicky I had a similar experience myself, I woke up feeling off edge and hard in my body. Reading the blog allowed me to bring my focus back to every little thing, and connect to the tenderness in it all.
The “things that I notice when I allow myself to be tender” I have also felt, but ’til now never appreciated this in myself. Thank you Adrienne for reminding us to stop and smell the roses on the way.
Mmmmm, and how gorgeous the roses smell when we take the time to stop to smell them Steve.
Beautiful Adrienne, that is so gorgeous and your tenderness is gorgeous and very purposeful. I feel truly inspired and ready to go deeper with my own connection to my tenderness. This is a blog I will read many, many times. Thank you.
What you have said here Ariana is pure gold! I love what you say here “….so we harden our body to ‘manage’. Yet that hardness is not managing anything, it hurts us more than the original hurt. Whereas being tender allows us to feel what there is to feel”
Whenever we make the choice to feel our natural tenderness we stop harming ourselves and start healing, it is true tenderness is medicine to the body and something we all have if we so choose. Thank you for this powerful yet tender reminder.
Samantha I can relate to that – ‘we harden our body to manage’. I feel I have done that so much and am now becoming more aware of if I go into that hardness.
I totally concur in what you share Amita and Samantha – I used to do it on a regular basis, push on and harden my body to get what ever it is needed done, with out checking in with myself if I had hardened. When I get to that point of realisation that exposes this hardness, only then do I realise that tenderness is my natural way of being.
The people I know who are not afraid to express their tenderness have an inner strength, and that is powerful.
Hi Amita, What you write is so true. There is a relationship of the deepest neglect that we are not even aware of having with our body. As a wise, young friend once said to me, ‘If your body could divorce you it would!’. Tenderness touches us as we touch with tenderness and begin to stop abusing our bodies with the neglect and arrogance of loveless busyness or distraction. Its like discovering a buried treasure and a marriage from heaven when we begin to live our moments WITH our body.
Adrienne, I love the sentence ‘I am super-present – in the moment, not before or beyond it, or even thinking of anything else.’. I am discovering that when I am ‘super-present’ in the moment my body feels light and tender, however, when I am not present my body is hard and I get caught up in the doing and loose my tenderness. I’m also realising that I then go into being hard on myself both physically and emotionally which does not support me either. So this is great for me to reflect on and bring my focus back to presence and start to feel my tenderness.
This is such a blessing to read as I start my day. It is wet and a bit grey here, but it seems like the sun has just shined on me. Here is to tenderness.
Enjoying feeling my tenderness after re-reading this article and all the comments.
This blog is so beautiful. My body says thank you…
Tenderness really is remarkable. To be tender softens the harshest of thoughts and it’s beautiful to recognise that tenderness is within us. Treating ourselves tenderly is a really loving way to be with ourselves.
Just saying the word ‘tenderness’ brings on a feeling of tenderness within me and I can feel tenderness flow through my body right down to my fingertips.
I love how you express this Shevon. Tenderness softens the harshest of thoughts, and how we all have the equal ability to connect to the tenderness and sacredness that we all hold.
I agree Shevon
Still reflecting on tenderness… this is a very important subject you have brought up Adrienne. What I am aware of is how much I can know this to be true and how much my movements are not so tender and how retreating to the recess of the mind can be a familiar and very comfortable place.
Shevon, you said it, there is more to reflect on with tenderness…
It feels like tenderness is a gateway or a bridge to the sacredness within us all.
When I find myself resisting tenderness through simply forgetting about being tender or being in too much of a hurry for tenderness or because I feel hurt and as you say, retreat instead into the comfortable recesses of the mind, letting my body go hard and vacant, I miss the warmth that tenderness brings.
But I suspect it is more than this – what I miss is the connection to me, to the naturalness of the sacredness within and the constant choice on offer in every moment to say yes to being the tenderness I am, to letting the sacredness inside be what flows through my body and within my every expression, or not.
Wow Adrienne, It hurts to disconnect knowing that there is a very precious being inside that is discarded to be in the world. I feel that is the real ache – the choice to abandon ourselves
Last few days I have been feeling vulnerable and poorly, so I gave myself some time to rest. As I woke today giving myself more space and time I was able to reconnect to my tenderness and preciousness. This allowed me to reflect on how easy it is for us to get caught up in the daily doing.
That’s amazing Amita. Thank you for sharing and your honesty. I don’t feel I have allowed myself that depth of tenderness before but reading this gives me the encouragement to give myself permission.
Adrienne thank you for the beautiful living description of tenderness. Reading your words I could feel a response in my body confirming that tenderness is there and all that is needs is being aware.
Before meeting Serge Benhayon’s or should I say before he meet me, I did reserve the word tender for a piece of meat, lovely bit of sirloin or something similar. Now it’s a word that has changed so much as I apply it more and more to all aspect of my life. Tenderness never really left me it was just a bit buried and now it’s resurfacing and your blog Adrienne is one I’ll read again and again until I have it mastered.
That’s beautiful Kevin, “remembering that the tenderness is there inside us if we allow it to resurface”, and as Otto says, “it brings us back to us”, and Adrienne wrote “it has no off button”. It is always there for us to support us all in a loving way.
Exquisite. My body instantly drops and lets go when I read this article. Tenderness so fully and beautifully captured Adrienne. Thank you.
Yes Kevin – I notice the same about work.
We know ourselves in tenderness and forget ourselves in hardness.
Reading this blog for the second time I realise it is one I should print out and keep somewhere to view on a regular basis. At work at the moment I have a lot to do and its far to easy to go into rush mode, yet with tenderness I can still get as much done without being so exhausted at the end of the day. Thanks again Adrienne
I woke up today feeling rushed in my body but as I read this blog I was able to stop reconnect and focus on my breath, within seconds, my body let go and I could feel space around me. So powerful is this body, just bringing focus to the body is amazing.
Definite and delicate, with purpose – such a great articulation. I certainly would never have ever used these words to describe tenderness in the past. Yet reading your words and having felt for myself the difference when we move from our body, that is exactly it. We are bought up believing words to have certain meanings, certain expressions, yet it is not until we feel for ourselves something else that we know there is more. Such a simple yet powerful word for us all to experience.
This is a very inspiring piece. What I love is the exposure of the falsehood around time. In the busy-ness and speed of a day I will often sacrifice tenderness. But the amazing thing is that being tender actually opens up space and time. This is because tenderness brings me back to me. And when I am me, then I don’t need anything else and thus there is all the time in the world! It’s that simple. Very powerful words Adrienne. Thank you.
I totally agree Otto, far too often at work I speed up due to the amount of work I need to achieve resulting in a lack of tenderness which results in me taking skin off my fingers, going over on my ankle or something of that nature. While getting back to tenderness leaves me wondering why I ever left it in the first place.
I find it easy to get lost in the business of the day and forget to be tender, what you write here Otto is so true if we bring our focus back to being tender time expands. This is something I defiantly feel to expand on, as it is so very amazing when we can surrender into the moment creating more space and time.
I can so relate to what you say Otto and Kevin. I can find myself so easily get immersed in what I am doing, it becomes all about what it is I am and I forget about me. When I eventually remember me I feel and realise how hard I have become. I feel brittle. This article I find really inspiring to help me reconnect to my tenderness in those times.
Exactly Otto, this was the point that spoke out to me today. Having thought I had a million and one things to do today and that I wanted to achieve, it would have been easy to go into overwhelm and push my body through whatever hoops I told it to jump. However when you take the time to be tender with yourself time indeed opens up.
Absolutely Otto, ‘being tender actually opens up space and time. This is because tenderness brings me back to me. And when I am me, then I don’t need anything else and thus there is all the time in the world! It’s that simple’, this is my experience as well, if Im feeling tender it feels like there is no need to rush, things flow and there is plenty of time, if I rush on the other hand, it feels like there is not enough time to get things done, I go into panic and feel stressed and exhausted, very different feelings.
I love this. Life is so simple when we’re tender. Love always prevails.
Tenderness is such a beautiful word, just saying it reminds me of a tender touch. We all naturally use a tender touch with a newborn baby because we know they can feel it. As we grow older that tender touch still has that same feeling.
Great point Mary, whatever the age or situation tenderness remains tenderness. A feeling we know deep down, that as Adrienne has shared keeps everything simple.
I love this sentence ‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun – it is there for everyone, has no off button, no dimmer and does not reserve itself for a select few.’
A really lovely expression of tenderness – such a beautifull word and feeling that I know I don’t feel as much in my body as I would like to. Thank you for sharing.
Yes, beautiful Steve, the warmth of the sun within us makes me realise the sun is such an amazing reflection of what we are within…how differently do we come to know ourselves when we forget this about ourselves.
Wow, this is a beautiful point – that the sun is a reflection of what we are within.
What a lovely and tender example of what tenderness brings us…the warmth of the sun within us. Thank you Adrienne.
I love this Steve, “the warmth of the sun within us” – so true, thank you.
Alison, I am like you, I too forget to bring tenderness into everything I do. I know it’s there as it’s beautiful when I connect to it and I feel so amazing, but it’s bringing it into everything I do and making it a normal part of my rhythm. So yes it’s great to bring the focus onto it.
I agree Amita and Alison, how amazing is our body guiding us throughout our day, dropping in loving reminders to connect to tenderness in all that we do.
Adrienne, I love where you share, that with a little awareness and focus we can soon become masters of tenderness, enriching our lives in remarkable ways. Why would we choose to be anything less than tender in every moment, when we know what a beauty-full blessing it is to us and those around us.
Wow this is applicable to my being right now…I love the magic of sharing, thank you so much.
Thank you Adrienne, I melted when I read your blog.
Thank you Adrienne. It is beautiful to learn that tenderness is in the beauty of giving ourselves permission to be who we are.
Hi Adrienne, it is really beautiful to read a blog about tenderness that has been written in tenderness. What a gift to everyone who reads it – thank you.
I hadn’t considered the power of that Janet and yet the blog clearly had the effect it did because it was written from that feeling in her body. This is a lesson for all of us when we share what we share. If we are not living what we speak or write in our body then it does not come with the same inspiration, it comes with a knowledge that still leaves a potential to choose or not choose but there is more theory and less inspiration.
Tenderness is like a pebble dropped into still water – its effects ripple out far and wide: from one simple moment of tenderness there is an unending effect….. thank you for sharing the tenderness you feel and the awareness of its amazing way.
So true Adrienne I have loved re-reading your article and feeling the ripple effect of your article on myself and others.
So true Adrienne, I love the way you describe tenderness as “a pebble dropped into still water – it’s effects can be felt far and wide”, very beautiful.
Wow, that is an amazing description Adrienne. I can really feel the truth and the beauty in that. How tenderness can be so profound and so touching.
Thank you for your inspiring blog, today I woke up feeling very tender and delicate. This blog was just perfect timing for me to stop and connect to this feeling and appreciate how powerful it is to feel tender.
Thank you Amita, even reading all these comments makes me smile as I feel how tender and delicate I am – beautiful confirmation.
I have to say this blog, the fact it is written in and with such tenderness, the word tenderness and all the comments that follow about tenderness, cannot but help me feel the the natural tenderness I am.
You express so beautifully Adrienne. Everything you say about tenderness is true. I am inspired to deepen the tenderness and connection with myself through your writing.
Amazing how an article clearly written from tenderness about tenderness can allow me to feel my own tenderness. So beautiful! Thank you!
It got me right from the start – bringing tenderness in with the first words and I can feel such a change from reading the article and simply letting go. Its awesome – thank you Adrienne
I absolutely love this blog. Reading it has made me more tender and for this I can’t thank you enough. Everyone wins with tenderness, there’s no down side.
So true, I feel deeply ‘safe’ when met in tenderness by other people.
Too true 🙂
Exactly Kevin just reading this helped me let go of the tension in my shoulders.
It’s amazing isn’t it how one person writing a blog in tenderness can be felt by so many, reminding them of their own tenderness. Absolutely everyone wins!
Sandra, that’s it, it as simple as that, it just takes one person to make a change, with one person connected to their tenderness has allowed many of us to do the same. How any people will be touched….
So true Kevin for when we honour our tenderness we feel it from its every angle holding us with its grace – how can there ever be a downside to that.
Today I feel very tender. What’s made the difference? More acceptance of who I am inside. The beauty of this is that I then have an opportunity to share this with others and they get to be treated in a loving, tender and considerate way too. Everyone benefits from the tenderness inside being shared. This is certainly – better out than in.
Mmm – absolutely sharing tenderness with another I find builds more tenderness within me, and on and on it goes. Such a beautiful and yummy feeling.
This has been a beautiful confirmation this morning as I start my day and a welcome reminder to support me through it. With tender thanks!
The tenderness I feel reading your blog is so inspiring. Any hardness in my body is being melted away by your words.
Thank you Adrienne.
I love how you expressed “I have focus with no indecisiveness (or indecision) in what to do, everything is clear and simple.”
Thank you Adrienne
Just reading your words re-connects me to the tenderness that I am and my whole body melts, I am tender, I feel tender, my body, my thoughts, my breath, my movements, my smell and taste all become tender – you are so true in what you share Adrienne in the fact that allowing ourselves to connect to this natural tenderness within us all, our whole way of being absolutely changes and can be felt by all.
A beautiful and inspiring blog Adrienne. Thank you for a welcome reminder of the power of allowing tenderness to flow from within.
In reading this article I feel a warmth and tenderness! Thank you for the reminder of its power and beauty. mmm… 🙂
This is beautiful blog. I feel truly blessed to be reminded that tenderness is something we can enjoy in our lives.
Adrienne, this is exquisite, and was just what my body wanted me to read tonight. I could feel my body letting go, and saying, ‘thank goodness that she is reading this, we so want what Adrienne is writing about!’ When I read about tender hair brushing my body just said ‘ yes – yes please’.
That is so true Catherine – our body knows tenderness and has been waiting for us to connect to it for such a long time. It’s like a re-union with a long lost friend, an ‘aah’ moment. Brushing my hair at bedtime is such a tender moment and part of my bedtime routine – and as you say my body just says ‘ yes – yes please’.
And we spend so long searching for this from others without considering the importance of being that with ourselves first. I feel silly that I didn’t consider the impact of the depth of this understanding before now! But at least I can now re-imprint my movements to build a foundation so tenderness becomes my ‘normal’. Big smilie face!
Beautiful, inspiring comments confirming how we all know tenderness by heart.
Very simply put, I completely agree. I keep coming back to this article and get more each time from feeling the tenderness in the writing to the amazing comments. A real testament to the presentations by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon who have bought truth to what Tenderness really is and then how this can be felt and lived.
Absolutely David, I completely agree, the tenderness this article is written in is amazing and deeply felt, and yes a real testament to the truth brought by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
I agree with you David. It is thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I have reconnected to the immense tenderness that I feel inside me. I am forever grateful to them.
Thank you Adrienne for the reminder about the beauty and power of tenderness, I can really feel the truth in what you have written.
Thank you for this lovely reminder of the choice we have in every moment to choose tenderness so that the hardness melts away. Awesome.
Tenderness is strange. It is completely unfamiliar and at the same time completely normal – a very nice way to be.
A beautiful article on the profoundness of tenderness, thank you Adrienne.
It’s interesting that as a woman I still choose to struggle with this. Deep in my heart I can feel the exquisite beauty and Love that I AM, but when it comes to daily activities there is still a push and a drive. When I notice this I will think of this blog and remember the tenderness I AM. 🙂
I still feel a push and a drive in my daily activities too. That feeling of needing to get things done takes me into overdrive. When I remember to pay attention to the quality I am in and remind myself to be tender my day is so much more lovely, and everything still gets done!
I agree Rebecca ‘I still push and drive in my daily activities. That feeling of needing to get things done takes me into that drive’. It is a horrible feeling, I can feel the hardness in my body, I can get breathless and feel overwhelmed, whereas if I change the quality of how I’m doing things and choose do things tenderly it feels divine, playful and my body feels relaxed and gentle.
Wow, exactly what I needed to read this morning, amazingly well put and will be my awareness for the day. There is nothing more divine than feeling the lovely warmth of tenderness. Thank you for sharing.
Tenderness is something I have been developing with myself and I have been deeply inspired by this article and the comments. I have been appreciating that I am tender and allowing myself to feel this as sometimes my body seems so far away from it, clunky and heavy.
I can totally relate Sally. A work in progress.
I can so relate to what you have said here Sally.
A lovely reminder Adrienne for me to be aware of all the moments of tenderness that are there for me to express.
I am always touched by the way in which students prepare/change the configuration of a room at Universal Medicine events. Everyone just comes together to move tables and chairs so tenderly (and quietly), a far cry from how hotel conference rooms are laid out.
And then, I get to sit on those chairs, lie on that massage table, feel that tenderness…
I wonder how many opportunities are there in a day to express tenderness with the physical objects I touch and the difference that can make for the next person who comes along?
“These exquisite elements of tenderness are medicine to the body and being, available whenever the choice is made.” Wow thank you so much for this beauty-full reminder, perfect timing.
Wow I loved this deeper investigation into tenderness. I’m learning that tenderness can be so lovely it actually melts myself, as well as melting people around me too. Really beautiful blog – thank you.
I can feel myself melting as I read this!
‘Tenderness is like the warmth of the sun’. I like this, I can feel myself opening like a flower to allow the sun to warm through my whole body to feel the tenderness within.
Love it ‘tendernesss in no weakling’ sounds ironic but it’s true!
Thank you for sharing Adrienne, bringing Tenderness changes the way we live, breathe and work. Just connecting with it now my whole body opens up and experiences it. It is a whole body expression, one as you said, we all carry within us, most just choose not to show it in case, as many have experienced in the past, we may get ridiculed for it. Whilst I used to see it as weak I can now feel the strength in it. The gift of tenderness is a true blessing for all.
Yes, awesome point James. To be tender is to have the strength to truly feel yourself and allow others in, so much power there and no ‘weakness’ to be found.
I love this point. There really is great strength in tenderness. I am feeling how amazingly powerful tenderness is when I choose to move, be, express in this quality, it can be deeply felt my others, I feel how it often creates a stop moment when people feel it. It is deeply healing.
Absolutely Beautiful Adrienne. I know it can seem weak to be tender, but I am discovering there’s an amazing power in this, not over anyone but just the power in taking notice of and honouring what we are feeling. This I am coming to accept is also tenderness.
Shevon, I too used to see tenderness as being weak, but as I have started to understand the true meaning of tenderness, I have also become to understand the power it holds as I feel and connect to my body and honour that feeling.
Thank you Adrienne for your gift of tenderness, and Adrienne – to hold ourselves in tenderness when feeling hurt – a double gift.
Hi Alison – I love what you say about the body reminding us to come back to gentleness when we’ve strayed from the tenderness we naturally are. Thank you.
I love this article. I keep reading it during my day if I’ve become hard, and I am reminded of my tenderness. Thanks once again Adrienne.
Thank you Adrienne. What struck me in this beautiful reflection about tenderness, is that it is a choice as are many qualities I can bring to my life. And even more striking is that these choices are with us as you say, all the time, every moment. We have ‘on tap’, 24/7 support for ourselves once we begin to take responsibility for our own well being. The effects of choosing tenderness for myself as you have described are enriching beyond anything I could look for another to provide.
Hi Bernadette… yes, and reading your comment makes me wonder how hard I have to make it to resist this 24/7 tenderness that is available whenever I choose to tap into it.
Great point, we have to pull in a resistance to not be tender!
Beautifully written Bernadette, ‘The effects of choosing tenderness for myself as you have described are enriching beyond anything I could look for another to provide.’
Absolutely Rebecca, no-one can give us our own gorgeous tenderness, it is naturally our own to choose and live just like everyone else’s and truly worth choosing.
Yes Rebecca, this sentence stood out for me too. It is so true as there is nothing outside of me that can truly fulfil me other than I choosing tenderness for myself.
Well said Bernadette, we are actually fighting our own tenderness 24/7 when we are not allowing it out as it is our natural state of being. It is crazy and exhausting how essentially we are fighting ourselves when we do not express who and what we naturally are.
This is so true James, i agree. I catch myself sometimes forgetting that i can choose tenderness in everything i do, instead of allowing the hardness and doing to take over. So this blog is a beautiful reminder. I am starting to see tenderness as an expression, not only in certain areas like working with clients (for example when i give an Esoteric Massage) or the way i am with my partner, but for every expression – speaking, singing, touching, and doing or holding myself in stillness. And like you say James it is natural to be tender.
Lovely to read Janina and another reminder to allow myself to express with my tenderness in everything I am doing not just when I touch things with my hands or more tenderly with my finger tips.
A beautiful comment Bernadette to a beautiful article. Thank you.
This is a great reminder Bernadette, that tenderness is a choice that I can bring into my life, not something I have to go out searching for but a natural quality that is within me that I can connect to anytime, how beautiful that we have this available 24/7.
So true Bernadette, every moment we have a choice to go into hardness and protection or our naturally tender ways….I know what I will be choosing …… to surrender to who I naturally am…..a tender and delicate woman.
Beautiful Bernadette. Bernadette’s comment brings home to me simplicity. It is that simple and to keep it simple. I have a choice in every moment 24/7 to bring my qualities such as tenderness in every thing I do and to focus on this rather than on the doing. Thank you for the reminder.
While reading through your article Adrienne, I could feel my body letting go. I’m even feeling that tenderness in the way I am typing right now… and it feels lovely. Thank you for your timely reminder.
Hi Rod, yes… we all know it deeply and it is something we let ourselves go into, drop into, surrender to, only to find there is more tenderness to let ourselves go into, drop into, surrender into… it’s up to us how far into tenderness we let ourselves go and be.
So beautiful Adrienne. Thank you both, I am feeling now to type with tenderness. brings sweetness to my fingertips 🙂 Beautiful.
What a lovely thought, sweetness to the finger tips – the fingertips feel amazing and exquisite when we treat them with the love they deserve- it impacts the entire body.
Hi Adrienne and Rod, I love reading and re-reading your blog with its amazing comments every single time. And just like you describe Rod an instant letting go off hardness and giving myself permission to be tender with everything. And it keeps deepening. I find new levels of tenderness and new areas to experience tenderness the more I let go and drop into my body and surrender. Thank you.
Yes, your sharing Adrienne is a wash of warmth and tenderness that is irresistible.
What a glorious day ahead when my whole body has surrendered to the tenderness I am.
I was getting a little tight about time just now when I found your beautiful piece Adrienne. Add Rod’s comments and I reached out to my partner who was typing next to me (not on a Selectric) and immediately felt the easing back into my body, back into connection. Tenderness is infectious it seems.
Love this important point Alan – the infectiousness of tenderness… It allows us to feel more as well as offering an opportunity for others to also feel more.
Adrienne. Your blog keeps drawing me back to reading it over and over again. Just for me to remember that I am tender person, and letting me drop back into that tenderness, when I feel anything but, at times.
I agree Mike. It is a healing session, with words that are as powerful as hands. I have returned to University and have had a difficult weekend letting a seeming insurmountable amount of work make me go into “concrete mode”. This morning I have dedicated myself to my tenderness, and came back to this blog for a dive into Adrienne’s and my own beauty.
Yes her words ‘are as powerful as hands’ this is such a great way to sum it up, and it explains why I feel amazing after reading blogs like this one. It’s deeply insporng to read this and then consider a way forward simply by how tender we can be with ourselves, and therefore all others.
My hands are my instant tenderness gauge. If I have scratches, marks, anything on my hands or fingers I am instantly shown that it is time to let go and accept even more tender loving care into my life.
So true Vicky….I know what you mean. As this happens to me too. I remember at one stage I kept getting these paper cuts on my fingers and so I started to be more tender with myself and accept more tenderness into my life and the paper cuts stopped. So yes it is definitely a reminder for me.
Thank you Vicky – I have been aware that scratches and marks on my hands indicate a lack of presence but as your comment so beautifully suggests it is time to ‘let go and accept even more tender loving care into my life’. It is so much more healing when we can have this awareness rather than feel guilty and being hard on ourselves.
So true Adrienne..like Rod, as I read your blog I could feel my self letting go and re-connecting with my tenderness and the more I surrendered the more tender I feel…I will take this into the rest of my day with my thoughts ,my actions and me just being. Thanks for your inspirational blog.
Yes, Adrienne, that is the beauty of it. I can always go deeper in surrendering to tenderness if I just choose to let go again and again.
I agree Rod, I started to read about tenderness and immediately could feel how I harden my whole body when I approach it, one reason being I do not find computer work easy. This shows how we need to be even more tender with ourselves and everyone and everything around us when we find them difficult. Developing the tenderness in everyday little things we do enjoy can help to build a foundation for when the bigger challenges come along. A beautiful article Adrienne, I love the way you describe all the elements of tenderness.
Joan, how beautifully you put that. To be even more tender with things we find difficult. For me , a whole new way of looking at lifes challenges. Thank you
I agree Catherine. Beautifully expressed Joan, to bring tenderness to situations and activities that are a challenge, how healing and freeing is this.
Yes me too Catherine. We can be used to going hard, becoming tense and going head to head in challenging situations but what Adrienne is reminding us is that heart to heart is the way.
Beautifully said Shevon. We don’t have to engage with the head in a challenging situation – even with another person is coming from their head. We can remember to drop into our bodies and come from the heart.
Rather than worry about a potentially challenging encounter, as I usually would, coming from the heart I can feel the power in tenderness. As I write I am feeling how this can take away any anxiety no matter how challenging the situation. That’s amazing. It shows me there is no need to stiffen up and go hard.
Yes Catherine, what, a lovely reminder – to be more tender in challenging situations, sometimes easier than others, so I can continue to practice this on a daily basis. thank you Joan.
Yes Joan, I can so relate to hardening when I have judged something that I find not easy to do as you say for you ,it is computer work. When I notice that I am doing that and my body is going hard, I say to myself, the more you judge this thing, the more I am going to be tender with myself. It brings me back to me and my tenderness immediately and is a very empowering and truly loving moment.
I love what you say here Julie, when you notice that you are going into hardness…. you say to yourself, “the more you judge this thing, the more I am going to be tender with myself.” What an awesome, loving thing to do for yourself. I will remember that one.
That is lovely Ariana – reading the blogs is such a support and helps me in letting go of the hardness. Hardness has been such a big part of my life up until now – always avoiding connecting to the ‘tender’ part of me, which just needed a little encouragement to come out from under the wraps and to claim back all that I am.
Joan, I love your line ‘Developing the tenderness in everyday little things we do’ that feels like love in action. This is a beautiful blog and really made me stop and feel where I was holding tension in my body and let it go.
Beautiful Joan to bring tenderness to the things we find diffucult, today I will bring it to my study and some difficult interactions with my ex-partner.
It’s so powerful and simple to integrate tenderness into daily life. No one loses or is harmed by tenderness, it touches people so simply, yet it is not widely appreciated for how encompassing it’s power actually is. We have so much to come back to and reclaim with tenderness.
Yes I do also enjoy how Adrienne has described so many elements of being tender so simply. I also appreciate your reminder about approaching things that seem tricky with as much tenderness as possible.
Thank you Felicity – how lovely to feel to approach things which are seemingly tricky with tenderness. It feels as though if we are open and sensitive to the possibility of an unfolding rather than bracing ourselves – as I know I often do – we are opening the way forward to resolving the situation in a way that is beautiful and spherical.
Hi Rod, I agree – I too can feel my body dropping into a more tender state and letting go reading the blog. So thank you Adrienne for the Tender moment and reminding me of my tenderness.
I loved reading this blog and could feel how I just sunk deeper into my body and feeling my natural tenderness. It feels like a lovely warmth spreading through my arms and feeling the gentleness of my chest moving up and down with every breath.
I agree James, I also felt my body let go and embrace tenderness without any problem. This is a great reminder of how tender we all naturally are.
I agree Rod, re-reading this blog I could again feel the joy and also the tenderness in my body which then got me to ask a question of myself…..why does it take me reading a blog to connect to my tenderness? My answer to myself is that it doesn’t have to, I can connect to my tenderness anytime I choose to, so thank you Adrienne for reminding me that there is always a choice.
I agree Rod, i have read the blog already several times and every time i could feel my body let go. This blog is a beauty full reminder to choose tenderness in everything I do and what effect this has for my body: “Tender washing up, tender typing, tender brushing hair – it melts away the hardness I can bring to get through the day and creates a deep sense of wellbeing that makes such a difference to everything”
Yes, I also agree with you Rod that I as I read the article so I too immediately felt my self dropping into tenderness. The list of things you notice when you are tender, Adrienne, is a great reminder of and support to connect to tenderness.
I agree Rod, I’m all melted.
I agree Rod this blog has magical properties……. Thank you Adrienne.
Re-reading your blog Adrienne – and again I feel deeply connected to the tenderness in your words and expression.
I agree Rod, anytime I come to this page, I just melt and feel the tenderness here and inside me too.
So true Rod, and thank you Adrienne. Same happened to me the moment I read your words. I could let go my “troubles” (which are many) and feel my body. My wrinkles and my forehead relaxed. It seemed to me as if I would stop thinking. I didn´t, but I could focus my thoughts on my body parts and feel where and how I was.
I completely agree Rod, I can feel how easy and open the blog is. Gently reminding me in everything we do there is a choice of how we do it; that I can bring a gentle tender touch to anything I do.
Yes Rod I too felt a beautiful warm tenderness effortlessly flood my body while reading Adrienne’s blog. What a lovely reminder of just how easy it is to allow our true tenderness to shine.
What a most beautiful blog. As I read, my whole body began to surrender and I felt a beautiful tenderness within my body. It is amazing how a blog like this can support us to connect with ourselves which is so timely this morning as I had quite a challenging day yesterday. Thank you Adrienne for writing such an inspiring blog.
l agree Rod, Adrienne’s tender blog emanates tenderness, it’s truly incredible to behold the energy so clearly. Throughout all the descriptions l too felt myself melt more and more as l read it.
lt wasn’t untill l read your comment that l realised l’d actually lost it again and had gone back to hardness. lncredible!