The journey to and through my marriage has been such a beautiful revelation. It is a new beginning for me in more ways than literally getting married.
All my life I had resisted marriage and how it is presented by society: what it stood for, the nature of the ceremony including the wording, the nature of the celebration – just everything about it caused me to rebel against that idea of getting married. It was something I never wanted to do or commit to. And from here, I never saw myself getting married. The choice had been made. Now I realise how much of a reaction that choice was.
Yet, I was engaged twice. I had given up on my truth and overrode my feelings. I gave into the empathy of hurting someone and gave myself away for many reasons. It feels now like I had an ideal and/or belief that it was the right thing to do for a good person such as myself.
One of those many reasons – the initial ‘yes’ to the proposals, and being in the relationship – was more about my need for and craving of acceptance, attention and being loved. The fact that I had been proposed to was the ultimate form of acceptance and totally satisfied my need to fill the immense emptiness I was existing with. It made me feel so good and happy, and the depth of how much I was wanted became the measure of my value. But although there was happiness, there resided an anxiousness, I felt unsettled.
There was something tugging at me to listen to my truth, an inner voice of knowing was asking me to be honest with what I was truly feeling and I allowed myself to pay attention. I realised how I had fooled myself and what I was really in love with was an idea… This hurt! Pride then kicked in and I overrode my feelings, again with reasoning, and allowed myself to be held in the choice I made. I put off setting a date for years, with many excuses until I found within me the courage to be true to myself and leave the relationship. I then decided that it was time to change the way I was in relationships – I could not do this again; I was exhausted.
I deeply appreciate Universal Medicine for holding a space where I am able to heal and build on my connection to soul. I am deeply grateful to the Universal Medicine practitioners who allow me to feel truly and lovingly supported in continuing to expose, address and heal how and where I am holding back from being all that I Am in the world. From here my life has truly changed.
I was recently married on the 4th October 2013.
Through the light of my soul I stand here with all that I Am…
The words came so strong and clear to me. Not completely realising at the time the entirety of the meaning, but it felt very true to begin our wedding vows this way.
Through my journey so far, and with the contrast of the loving choices I have been living with, I could see how I had come to this beautiful moment of realising how amazing I was, how amazing my life was and how powerful I felt. This was an opportunity to claim who I truly am. I felt this way through my commitment to align to infinite love and to connect with my soul. This marriage was symbolic of the commitment to the way we were choosing to live for ourselves and with each other. It was a celebration of the completeness that we both felt within ourselves and that we were now living; a celebration of the joy of sharing this completeness with each other. I could also feel how I could share that joy with everyone. Our rings that we were exchanging were an outward reflection of this commitment. It was such a beautiful realisation and such an expansive feeling.
We consciously chose to make the wedding about the love and the joy we share, about the celebration of love, about how we are together is exactly the same way we can be with everyone, and nothing else. It is not about what a wedding should be, or should look like. I could feel the pressure around me and us. But we chose to pay attention to love and what felt true to us in every way of planning our wedding day, our celebration of our new beginning for ourselves and us together. We chose to stand strong in love.
And so it began.
It was amazing how every time we connected to love and the choice we made from love the ease and flow of organising and planning was there. When I didn’t, I could feel stress in my body and I knew then I had to come back to love and the choice we had made from love. I trusted. As soon as I did, it all flowed once again and all became clear. At times I felt so strongly that I was being guided. It was such a beautiful confirmation.
We had chosen to not have alcohol, dairy or gluten at our celebration. My husband is not gluten and dairy free but is open to it and completely supports the way I choose to live and I lovingly allow him to be on his journey. And so it had become ‘our’ choice. Yes, I did question our decision as we initially experienced some resistance from others. Were we imposing our choices onto another? After discussions together we came to the truth, and it was very clear that we were not. We were, in fact, inviting people to join us in ‘our’ day of celebration. They did have a choice, to join us or not, as we were clear as to how we would be celebrating. We felt amazing once we claimed this and were not concerned with the outcome. Yet everyone chose to be a part of it.
Through the light of my soul I stand here with all that I Am…
It was a magical day, as we stood in the morning sunlight on the beach. The foundation of love that we had created and had chosen was undeniable. It felt as if nature had aligned herself with us on this day as we honored the presence of God, nature and the choice we were making of love being our only way.
I felt I was marrying myself, my soul, my husband, everyone present and humanity all at the same time. This was the new beginning. I now realise that how I was with myself and my husband, the sweetness of love between us, was how I had now chosen to be with everyone I am in contact with. This is what I have chosen to commit to. It felt so amazing.
The celebration was a beautiful and powerful confirmation of the love we had chosen from the beginning. It felt as if we had given a gift to everyone; the experience of what The Livingness feels like, another way to be and what is possible when aligning with love. The ones who had resisted originally said that they didn’t miss having alcohol. Many others thanked us and expressed how they had never been to a wedding like this; they enjoyed the simplicity and that it was a beautiful way to celebrate: we could feel how they had been touched. Everyone truly enjoyed being with us and being able to connect with others, it did feel truly magical.
And still does.
This new beginning, this true marriage is now an amazing marker for me as I continue on my journey back to Soul.
Through the light of my soul I stand here with all that I Am…
So amazing to truly claim this now!
I thank you Serge Benhayon for the Light that you shine here on earth. You have truly inspired my return to Soul through my unfolding path of Love from which I will never waver far from again. For now I know, I too am here to shine.
by Carola Woods, Guest Relations Coordinator, Suffolk Park
