The journey to and through my marriage has been such a beautiful revelation. It is a new beginning for me in more ways than literally getting married.
All my life I had resisted marriage and how it is presented by society: what it stood for, the nature of the ceremony including the wording, the nature of the celebration – just everything about it caused me to rebel against that idea of getting married. It was something I never wanted to do or commit to. And from here, I never saw myself getting married. The choice had been made. Now I realise how much of a reaction that choice was.
Yet, I was engaged twice. I had given up on my truth and overrode my feelings. I gave into the empathy of hurting someone and gave myself away for many reasons. It feels now like I had an ideal and/or belief that it was the right thing to do for a good person such as myself.
One of those many reasons – the initial ‘yes’ to the proposals, and being in the relationship – was more about my need for and craving of acceptance, attention and being loved. The fact that I had been proposed to was the ultimate form of acceptance and totally satisfied my need to fill the immense emptiness I was existing with. It made me feel so good and happy, and the depth of how much I was wanted became the measure of my value. But although there was happiness, there resided an anxiousness, I felt unsettled.
There was something tugging at me to listen to my truth, an inner voice of knowing was asking me to be honest with what I was truly feeling and I allowed myself to pay attention. I realised how I had fooled myself and what I was really in love with was an idea… This hurt! Pride then kicked in and I overrode my feelings, again with reasoning, and allowed myself to be held in the choice I made. I put off setting a date for years, with many excuses until I found within me the courage to be true to myself and leave the relationship. I then decided that it was time to change the way I was in relationships – I could not do this again; I was exhausted.
I deeply appreciate Universal Medicine for holding a space where I am able to heal and build on my connection to soul. I am deeply grateful to the Universal Medicine practitioners who allow me to feel truly and lovingly supported in continuing to expose, address and heal how and where I am holding back from being all that I Am in the world. From here my life has truly changed.
I was recently married on the 4th October 2013.
Through the light of my soul I stand here with all that I Am…
The words came so strong and clear to me. Not completely realising at the time the entirety of the meaning, but it felt very true to begin our wedding vows this way.
Through my journey so far, and with the contrast of the loving choices I have been living with, I could see how I had come to this beautiful moment of realising how amazing I was, how amazing my life was and how powerful I felt. This was an opportunity to claim who I truly am. I felt this way through my commitment to align to infinite love and to connect with my soul. This marriage was symbolic of the commitment to the way we were choosing to live for ourselves and with each other. It was a celebration of the completeness that we both felt within ourselves and that we were now living; a celebration of the joy of sharing this completeness with each other. I could also feel how I could share that joy with everyone. Our rings that we were exchanging were an outward reflection of this commitment. It was such a beautiful realisation and such an expansive feeling.
We consciously chose to make the wedding about the love and the joy we share, about the celebration of love, about how we are together is exactly the same way we can be with everyone, and nothing else. It is not about what a wedding should be, or should look like. I could feel the pressure around me and us. But we chose to pay attention to love and what felt true to us in every way of planning our wedding day, our celebration of our new beginning for ourselves and us together. We chose to stand strong in love.
And so it began.
It was amazing how every time we connected to love and the choice we made from love the ease and flow of organising and planning was there. When I didn’t, I could feel stress in my body and I knew then I had to come back to love and the choice we had made from love. I trusted. As soon as I did, it all flowed once again and all became clear. At times I felt so strongly that I was being guided. It was such a beautiful confirmation.
We had chosen to not have alcohol, dairy or gluten at our celebration. My husband is not gluten and dairy free but is open to it and completely supports the way I choose to live and I lovingly allow him to be on his journey. And so it had become ‘our’ choice. Yes, I did question our decision as we initially experienced some resistance from others. Were we imposing our choices onto another? After discussions together we came to the truth, and it was very clear that we were not. We were, in fact, inviting people to join us in ‘our’ day of celebration. They did have a choice, to join us or not, as we were clear as to how we would be celebrating. We felt amazing once we claimed this and were not concerned with the outcome. Yet everyone chose to be a part of it.
Through the light of my soul I stand here with all that I Am…
It was a magical day, as we stood in the morning sunlight on the beach. The foundation of love that we had created and had chosen was undeniable. It felt as if nature had aligned herself with us on this day as we honored the presence of God, nature and the choice we were making of love being our only way.
I felt I was marrying myself, my soul, my husband, everyone present and humanity all at the same time. This was the new beginning. I now realise that how I was with myself and my husband, the sweetness of love between us, was how I had now chosen to be with everyone I am in contact with. This is what I have chosen to commit to. It felt so amazing.
The celebration was a beautiful and powerful confirmation of the love we had chosen from the beginning. It felt as if we had given a gift to everyone; the experience of what The Livingness feels like, another way to be and what is possible when aligning with love. The ones who had resisted originally said that they didn’t miss having alcohol. Many others thanked us and expressed how they had never been to a wedding like this; they enjoyed the simplicity and that it was a beautiful way to celebrate: we could feel how they had been touched. Everyone truly enjoyed being with us and being able to connect with others, it did feel truly magical.
And still does.
This new beginning, this true marriage is now an amazing marker for me as I continue on my journey back to Soul.
Through the light of my soul I stand here with all that I Am…
So amazing to truly claim this now!
I thank you Serge Benhayon for the Light that you shine here on earth. You have truly inspired my return to Soul through my unfolding path of Love from which I will never waver far from again. For now I know, I too am here to shine.
by Carola Woods, Guest Relations Coordinator, Suffolk Park
464 Comments
We all want to be loved that is a universal fact but somehow we have managed to collectively produce the total opposite of this. And because for many of us we find it almost impossible to truly love and nurture ourselves we look outside of ourselves for the acceptance and recognition we crave; so we base our relationships on a craving to be truly met and be seen which I know from personal experience puts an enormous pressure on our partner/s to match up to our expectations.
Thank you Carola for being open and honest about how a relationship can blossom and flourish when we are prepared to treat our partners with decency and respect, so we can relinquish all our perceived view on marriage.
Are there still any ideas that we have fallen in love with that are still influencing our life? or are they like little bubbles that pop up now and again to sabotage what we know is true? They can be very alluring and persuasive and nudge us off course if we are not firmly the master of our own ship, breathing our own breath.
True commitment comes from our most divine connection, which is our essence and what is so simple about our essences is they are made of the love we are all looking for. And then to find the Truth about what marriage can bring to us builds amazing relationships that last for life times.
‘I felt I was marrying myself, my soul, my husband, everyone present and humanity all at the same time. This was the new beginning. I now realise that how I was with myself and my husband, the sweetness of love between us, was how I had now chosen to be with everyone I am in contact with. This is what I have chosen to commit to. It felt so amazing.’
I agree with you, Carola, we have in any relationship the opportunity to experience things with one other person to then apply that with everybody else. I love how you are multiplying the love.
‘We consciously chose to make the wedding about the love and the joy we share, about the celebration of love, about how we are together is exactly the same way we can be with everyone, and nothing else. It is not about what a wedding should be, or should look like.’
As soon as a wedding is about any picture you can feel the lack of love and the separation this creates. I love feeling like we all get married while being present at someone’s wedding and honoring the interconnectedness we are all part of.
When we make decisions out of loyalty we hurt ourselves and others. Our true decisions, made from our heart, and what and how we actually feel, are the only way worth living. Anything else, and anything less, is an exhausting lie that we can spend a lot of time and effort on trying to perpetuate until eventually we trust enough to let go and live as who we truly are.
I echo all that you share here Carola, ‘I thank you Serge Benhayon for the Light that you shine here on earth. You have truly inspired my return to Soul through my unfolding path of Love from which I will never waver far from again. For now I know, I too am here to shine.’
It’s so amazing how life changes when you make the choice to connect to, and live from your soul. All the lies we have lived up until then are exposed as they have nowhere to hide in the shining light of our true connection to who we are. And in this true connection we are offered all the magnificence that we naturally are and the support to live it, not just for us and those close to us, but for the world.
Carola it’s deeply touching feeling the depth of love your wedding and life has, living with soul is a blessing for everyone. These are great words to live by, not just for a wedding but for each day “It was amazing how every time we connected to love and the choice we made from love the ease and flow of organising and planning was there. When I didn’t, I could feel stress in my body and I knew then I had to come back to love and the choice we had made from love. I trusted.” Love and the surrender of trust, a great combination.
“It was amazing how every time we connected to love and the choice we made from love the ease and flow of organising and planning was there. When I didn’t, I could feel stress in my body and I knew then I had to come back to love and the choice we had made from love.”
Wow we can really apply the above formula to anything – shopping, buying a new house, the conversations we choose to engage in… when we connect to love everything flows because there is an all knowing power that is helping and supporting us.
Love in itself is the only ingredient needed in a celebration of love. The rest, is just a confirmation of it, and your wedding emanates that. Thanks for sharing it Carola.
‘Through the light of my soul I stand here with all that I Am…’ Thank you for these beautiful words Carola that are an amazing confirmation for all of us of what we offer humanity every day.
I agree Helen, I love those words also, so beautiful to live by.
Yes, beautiful and powerful words, ‘‘Through the light of my soul I stand here with all that I Am…’ reminding us to live this at all times.