Am I allowed to say that?
Am I allowed to eat this?
Am I allowed to not want to eat this?
Am I allowed to wear these clothes today?
Am I allowed to talk to men like that?
Am I allowed to get excited?
Am I allowed to do this?
Am I allowed to be comfortable?
Am I allowed to dance this way?
Am I allowed to want to do this?
Am I allowed to show affection to one person and not the other?
Am I allowed to look smoking hot?
Am I allowed to not want to drink that?
Am I allowed to in-joy this?
Am I allowed to go to bed early?
There are a lot of “Am I allowed to’s” there Emily… why?
Well, you see… I’m scared if I open my mouth or do something, I might cause a reaction from someone.
So?…
Well then, they might be upset or not as happy as they were before.
And is that your problem?
Well, no, it’s not really… not if I was just being me.
So why the “Am I allowed to’s?”
Well, it’s a question of “Will I hurt someone if I do that?”
So you’re saying, someone else should give you the permission for something you want to do, according to what mood they are in that day?
Erm, well, yea, I guess I am…
Now that just doesn’t make sense, does it?
No, no it doesn’t.
Am I allowed to be this way?
And what way is that?
Me… happy, sad, excited, showing it all, whilst being responsible, regardless of what people are going to think…
Well, I’d say so.
Yea… I’d say so too.
Am I able to care for myself?
Am I able to BE myself?
Am I able to love myself?
Now there’s “able’s”?
Yea, because now it’s up to me to make the decision… and my capability at being amazing.
And how is that capability?
I’d say it’s pretty darn good.
True freedom is loving the body I’m in, accepting and loving who I am and allowing myself to be rid of those ‘Thought Monsters’.
True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself – self love and self care.
I have been thinking a lot about my “allowed to’s” lately and have found that I calibrate what or basically who I am going to be depending on who I am around, so as to not ‘disturb the peace’. This probably isn’t an unusual thing; I’m guessing we all have “Thought Monsters” running around in our head saying what we can and can’t do. Don’t get me wrong, there are some things I definitely can’t do – but I don’t feel limited by these things when I make the choices to not do them, I feel confident and content with these choices.
It’s when there’s that pulling away from my initial response, that moment where it was there, where I had the chance and then it slipped away sort of thing…. I am learning to minimise these moments: if I feel like saying this or doing that, I will try my best to do it, and try my best to stay me regardless if it shakes anyone a bit.
Then with the realisation of these ‘Thought Monsters’ there has also been the trying to sort out the ‘Thought Monsters’ from the true thoughts. There is a difference here because the true thoughts don’t feel like monsters to me when I have them – there is no drive or push or fear behind them like the Thought Monsters have, just an openness, respect and realisation. Like me saying, “I shouldn’t be eating this piece of cake right now” is a true thought… what told me to eat this piece of cake was the plain old Thought Monster.
And then there’s the “Why am I eating this piece of cake?” which is actually a true thought, ‘cause it’s asking for a reason and a realisation that something is not quite right.
And then there’s the lack of self-worth for eating the cake and feeling crap about myself – thoughts like “I’m going to get fat” or “I’ll look like a cake myself soon”… Those, my friends, are the Thought Monsters.
But then there is a catch there too, because my feeling this is showing me that obviously eating the cake caused me to feel not very good, and due to not feeling good I can see that the choice I made wasn’t right for me.
So, instead of bashing myself, I’m realising why (in most cases it’s ‘cause I feel alone, or tired, or want to bury some feeling beneath a big pile of cake), then I’m accepting my choice and moving on.
“Okay… cool, I’m actually not fat, I just feel crappy because of the choices I made.”
The ‘why’ sometimes doesn’t even matter, I don’t need a reason, just acceptance, and as long as there’s an “Oh okay, well… next time I’ll know better”, I’m taking responsibility for me.
Or even if there is just a “Yea okay, I feel crap… I did it again”, that’s all good too… we all slip up sometimes.
By Emily Newman, Mirani, Qld
918 Comments
‘Or even if there is just a “Yea okay, I feel crap… I did it again”, that’s all good too… we all slip up sometimes.’ This line is so important, and one I am working on daily!! It’s ok to slip up, something we all need reminding of, because we are not perfect and we are forever learning. We all just need to give ourselves a break!
It’s great what you’ve shared Emily about the ‘thought monsters’ being the thoughts that encourage us in the first place to ‘eat the cake’ or make a choice that is unloving for our bodies, but that they also play a role after we’ve eaten the cake to make us feel even worse – through self loathing, self criticism and self bashing. It’s so important that we learn to identify these ‘thought monsters’ and stop the process before it begins – receiving the thought to ‘eat the cake’ and asking ourselves if this is truly a supportive move to make?
The beauty of free will, your allowed to do what ever you like. Thanks, very creative article
I really like this statement –”True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself”. This is so true. We can be prisoners of our thoughts, which really is the worst prison of all. The only way through it all is to re-connect back to ourselves which then impulses us to live in a more loving way, which in turn changes how we think.
There have been many times when I have allowed the ‘Thought Monster’ to dictate my behaviour and how I respond to others and there was a time when I wasn’t consciously aware of this and just thought this was the way things were. I’m now learning to focus on being me, being in my body and allowing ‘me’ to express – from my inner heart instead of my head! I don’t always get it right of course, but am finding it a lot easier to recognise the ‘Thought Monsters’ from the real me…
I love coming back to read this Emily, there tends to be a lot of the ‘am i allowed to’ that can creep in if we allow them to. Those thought monsters (love this) as you call them, are so true and so incredibly destructive is we let them. There is so much to what you have shared in that, it is up to us to deeply feel what we bring each and every day. Loving ourselves to the bone, and then out again.
I always enjoy coming back to this blog. It feels like we may never be free of these thought monsters completely but how we respond to them can change and is up to us to stand up for how we feel and what feels true in our bodies rather than roll over and play small against what can at times be some pretty horrible thoughts. Recently I have felt that those thoughts of expectation of I have to do this and that and run my life to the beat of these thoughts is super exhausting, whereas if I follow the lead of my body that drain doesn’t occur. Thank you Emily.
Thank you Emily! Re reading your words I am recognizing myself in much of your sharing, some things I have come to change over the past few years after learning through Universal Medicine Presentations by Serge Benhayon and many other Practitioners and presenters as well. I have let go of the need (not completely) to try to please others and be all things to all people, and the more I do this the more my life frees up for me to be the real me.
Great advice to simply accept when we make a choice that hasn’t supported us or that didn’t feel right rather than to self-bash and admonish in a way that sends us further into lack of self-worth.
Thank you Emily for a great article, I have had many thought monsters over the years and there are still some lurking around. I too have always been concerned about hurting people and them getting up set, making my self responsible for there reactions. I have since come to more acceptance of me, that I don’t have to do or be anything to be ok, that just being me, is ok and I am ok just being.
Dear Emily,
I read again your blog this morning and can feel myself surrendering even deeper into accepting my bodies rhythm. As of late I have questioned, compared and just down right sabotaged what is truly needed by my body. A great learning and with this clear acceptance a way forward that is in true honour of my body and what I feel is needed, for me.
[…] Related Reading: – Why we don’t let Love in – Communicating with, and Talking to People – No longer Calibrating my Expression – Am I Allowed to be this? Finding a Balance in True Expression […]
Knowing better does not necessarily mean change. It is a deepening relationship with my body and sensitivity to all my choices that bring me to make different ones.
It is just a game we play as we know we are so much more than what our thoughts want us to believe. When we connect and reconnect to our truth which is inside us all, the thought monsters has no chance and we build this connection by staying steady and present in our body. How beautiful it is to live in the knowing we are Sons of God and choose this as our foundation in ourselves.
Your words show clearly Emily that it is not other people at all, or even ourselves, but the ‘thought monsters’ in our head that try to dictate and beat us with these rules. We would never be so harsh and hard, and militant with a young child so why on earth do we deserve to receive this treatment ‘in kind’? The answer is we do not. The thought monsters show their true colour with the quality of their attitude to us and what we should do. No more thought monsters are welcome here with me – thank you!
I really enjoyed re reading your blog Emily, and it was a great reminder to stay present, to know all the answers are in my body, so being connected, accept and appreciate whatever the signs are is key. As I read a few days ago in another blog I realise that I do want to care about myself and any thought that is telling me I don’t care about myself is a ‘thought monster’.
I saw this blog in a whole new light today Emily. I have been aware of just how damaging those ‘thought monsters’ can be over the past week or two. In fact it is my thoughts that hurt me more than the harmful choices I make as the thoughts always come first. This realisation makes me feel determined to let my body lead the way.
The ‘thought monsters’ have certainly had their over supply of air time inside of me over the years! They can be very insistent but at the end of the day, I know that my body won’t settle again until I have banished them and brought myself back to the focus on what I know is true inside of me. Thanks Emily for writing such a widely relevant blog.
Isn’t it amazing how we can make life so complicated especially if we let those thought monsters in? I love the photo that goes with this blog. There is a natural freedom in the expression, one that’s not worried about what effect it’s going to have on anyone else, making them happy or not and yet still full of care.
Emily I understand that in order to ask the question “am I allowed”, it brings a vulnerability through noticing how sensitive we can be to how people react when their expectations are not met. Yes we could bulldoze through life being insensitive but that goes against the grain or knowing harmony and honouring all equally which is so much part of harmony, so we all lose if we take that approach. Being sensitive while giving ourselves permission to ‘be’, or allowing ourselves to live the fullness of love that we are, is a sure step to evolving and showing life that we do not have to play it small.
Hi Emily – I love your sharing and how the ‘Thought Monster’ operates. This ‘Thought Monster’ visits me every day and attempts to make me feel less – sometimes it succeeds and sometimes it doesn’t. How great that you are getting to know the ‘Thought Monster’ so well you can now ‘out it’. Thanks for sharing.
“True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself – self love and self care.” Such wise words Emily – Thank you
There is such a wave of disconnection sweeping the world that for someone to be finding themselves in a younger generation, is truly inspirational and needs to be shared.
Those thought monsters are SO UGLY Emily! Giving ourselves permission to be who we are, and not reserving a single bit of that is the best thing in the world!
True freedom is not something someone else can give you because this comes when all the beliefs and ideals are dealt with and not given energy to anymore. then we can be free to simply be.
Emily I love how you have shared about the importance of not being hard on ourselves when we make choices that don’t support us. The opportunity is to start again and continue learn from the experiences.
We use the Thought Monsters to make us small and to sabotage our self worth. When we are present to ourselves we can beat these “monsters” and eventually their appearances are minimal. It is possible!
Thought monsters, I love this Emily, so very relatable to everyone on the planet. It’s so great to be in a place now where the thought monsters are having less and less say, and my inner wise counsel is coming to the fore.
Loved your playful blog Emily, I can relate to your thought monsters, I have recently ousted the one that has told me all my life that I am not ok, that I have to be doing this that or the other to be ok. I now know that I am ok, nothing to fix, but just be me.
Love it Emily, the ‘thought monsters’, you can allow those to take over or build self care and love in one’s body and those thought monsters do not come as often or as nasty. I can vouch for this. The thought monsters used to be frequent visitors, but these days they barely get a look in!!
True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself” True and very wise words indeed Emily. We can all too often use the blame game for our situations we find ourselves in and step away from self responsibility and love, then everyone misses out.
Beautiful Emily, well done for breaking the ice when it comes down to the lies of what we can or can not do and what is right or wrong.. This feels very important, and for sure cutting the self-bashing. I feel it would be great learning how to deal with certain choices we made – just like you suggested it – accepting and understand why so and so move on and take responsibility next. I will take this with me , and I will feel into when this self bashing comes in again to stop choosing to feed it – but to be acceptent instead.
I love your term and description of ‘thought monsters’ Emily and how they undermine and bully us just like the intimidating emotional brutes that they are. It is totally accurate and totally awesome and brings a very different awareness and explanation to what is going on in our head sometimes.
I love the title of this blog and its content too! “Am I allowed to be this?”, is a question I ask in myself more and more. Sometimes it feels like no one wants me to be myself, but I found like you it is not so much about the others it is more about me. I am lessening my amazingness and joy to not feel uncomfortable when it is not met by others. This is a great realisation and really shows me that blaming others never makes sense. Thank you Emily.
I love the honesty you share here Emily. It frees us all to be more honest and how important is that to relationships, our communities, and ourselves. Hang it’s important to all of humanity because everything matters.
‘The ‘why’ sometimes doesn’t even matter, I don’t need a reason, just acceptance, and as long as there’s an “Oh okay, well… next time I’ll know better”, I’m taking responsibility for me.’ Acceptance is so important in being able to start to replace those patterns of thoughts and behaviour in which we can feel trapped. Accepting ourselves in full also brings appreciation for who we are without having to measure up against any ideals from anyone else or ourselves.
Simple clear and true, and inspirational as well, and this article should be in every magazine that talks about diets and weight.
Emily, you have so wonderfully captured the essence of what we all experience, the ‘thought monsters’. They really can have their way with us if we let them. It is sometimes in the knowing what they are and understanding how they like to take us out. This can be liberating in itself, so when they come back (and they do) that we are aware of them, so not to give them any air time in our head. I really loved what you shared, it is a great read and could relate to so much of what you have said.
Gosh, how many of us experience the thought monster day in, day out and believe we are the only ones? One of the things that’s GREAT about your blog Emily is that you speak about true thoughts – letting us know that whatever the ‘thought monster’ says is not true at all.
Each time I read this blog I am inspired by your words. There is so much to celebrate and the pull to constantly continue to be responsible for all the choices we make.
Oh Emily you sound so gorgeous. How cool that you have worked out the Thought Monsters from the real, true and loving thoughts .. And when you slip up you know how to give yourself a break and can stop the Thought Monsters taking over. Awesome!
“True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself” brilliantly said Emily. The crazy rules we make up to control life do not work. But when we allow ourselves to just be, fall over, make mistakes, we are able to enjoy and savour life and the sweetness of you and me.
I love the way you talk about the ‘thought monsters’ here Emily. We can so easily feel that the thoughts in our head ARE us and that we don’t have control over what thoughts are present in our head. The truth is though, we are not our thoughts. Thoughts pass through our mind and it is through the daily choices we make that we determine what sort of thoughts will be there for us e.g. the ‘eat cake’ thoughts or the ‘don’t eat cake’ thoughts.
Thank you Emily for a great blog, I can so relate to what you have shared, how I have regulated what I say so as to not create waves, peace at any price, and the price I paid was a total denial of me. Over time many of the thought monster thoughts, I have done away with, and when others pop in I can sometimes get caught. It is taking responsibility for myself and my choices, and making them more loving , that is changing my life.
Its even ok not to listen to those thought monsters.
My “thought monsters” are usually full of justifications to have or do something.They can be very persuasive and are generally driven by indulging the individual rather than for the greater good for humanity. “Thought monsters” tend to justify non self responsibility and this is the part that really hurts me when and if I give in to them. I am coming from from head and not my heart -my inner heart. Great sharing, Emily.
What I realize strongly is that the `Thought monsters` play out images in our mind ALL THE TIME!!!
how we or things should be or look like, how we should have said or done things or say or do things in the future…
We get bombarded with possibilities to check out, be not loving etc. and as soon as our awareness drops, it`s so easy for the thought monsters to catch us…
Coming back to this awesome sharing today I am appreciating how my journey in life is bringing about so many beautiful/amazing changes and the biggest one of all is the relationship that I have with myself now and, how “taking responsibility for me” has opened up so many doors that I had closed tightly shut – just waiting to be given permission by someone else to open. The key was held by me. Thank you Emily this blog is an inspirational read.
‘True freedom is loving the body I’m in, accepting and loving who I am and allowing myself to be rid of those ‘Thought Monsters’. True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself – self-love and self-care.’ This is so very true, the ‘thought monsters’ are the factors which limit us in our choices and in our expression – in addition, to me true freedom has also felt like being able to express what I feel to be true from my very centre without reaction or alteration according to those things which may normally try to influence us, whether these are thoughts or factors from the world around us.
It is so true Emily, that our bodies always reflect the quality of choices we make. It is not about perfection but about learning and developing our awareness through our experiences and choosing to be responsible for ourselves.
Having the understanding that we are totally influenced by energy and that we have the responsibility of choosing what will run us literally, is so much more empowering and confirming of our true nature and power, and can help to show us that we are not the choices we have chosen, but we can choose more wisely and truly if we listen to our bodies more and not our minds.
“True freedom is loving the body I’m in, accepting and loving who I am and allowing myself to be rid of those ‘Thought Monsters’.”- yes, when I connect to who I truly am- tenderness, love and beauty within, the thought monsters are no longer in control. This is definitely freeing.
I love this line Emily “Yea, because now it’s up to me to make the decision… and my capability at being amazing.” This blows blaming others for us feeling uncomfortable about something completely out of the water. I feel the same often it is easy to go into ‘I can’t do this because of that person doing this’ instead of feeling the truth and that is that I don’t want to feel uncomfortable standing out with what I feel to do. This is also very empowering as I know the choice is in me and not depending on someone else. Yes!
Absolutely Lieke, being gentle with ourselves and taking responsibility for our own choices being the reason that we do things and what happens to us is hugely empowering and also brings much more clarity of thought – getting rid of some of the monsters which like to play in our minds.
I like your article very much, Emily, especially the part with the “cake-monster” as I know it very well. The more there is to feel for me that is uncomfortable the stronger my drive to eat to numb my feelings. When I have eaten, I often have difficulties to accept my choice which makes everything even worse.
I feel that underneath our strong tendency to beat ourselves up there is a big and overall lack of self acceptance that emerges from our choice to not love ourselves to the bone in the first place. If we love ourselves deeply, the question what we are allowed to do or not, will never arise, because we just know what is there to do in every moment.
I loved your light-hearted way of writing about a serious topic Emily. Your awareness about the thought monsters is inspiring, and you have reminded me to be appreciative of everything I have been given to support me to make wise and loving choices about what I eat, what I think, and how I live each day.
Such a great blog Emily, these are questions I am sure many of us ask ourselves frequently. The ‘thought monsters’ that come into play, the comparison, the pressures. We all can so relate, I can so relate!!! But as you have shared it is not giving power to those, not to the thoughts, not to the comparing, but to connect with oneself, that inner voice, that one that only says loving things, that does not say your choices are wrong, but is supportive and loving. They are the ones to listen to.
Great exposure Emily of how our minds keep us from feeling what is going on in our bodies, to stop us feeling what is true for us – a very clever game being played out if we allow the thought monsters to run wild!
I have really appreciated this blog calling out the power we give certain thoughts that create tension, pressure and comparison in life. It seems especially important to call out playing victim and place blame on others or situation when it is our choice to give power to such thoughts in the first place.
Self love and self care really does put those ‘thought monsters’ to bed.
Sometimes I get all caught up in ‘where did that thought come from’? ‘Is it true’? I love what you share Emily: “…..the true thoughts don’t feel like monsters to me when I have them – there is no drive or push or fear behind them like the Thought Monsters have, just an openness, respect and realisation.” Thank you
It’s extraordinary the amount of thoughts that can pass through our minds, so many of them not helpful and even harmful. It is therefore great to appreciate those that don’t condemn us but encourage us to take responsibility for our choices and bring understanding to why we make those that don’t support us to be and feel amazing all of the time.
When a member of a younger generation writes with such insight about what true energetic freedom is, it is an inspirational reflection that it is possible to turn the tide of disconnection which is sweeping through the world.
I lived with lots of these thought monsters for a long time. The fear of disappointing someone was huge and a horrible way to live. I don’t know where it came from but it was debilitating. I am so happy to be recognising these wayward things and to be giving them the flick. Now I welcome true thoughts and welcome feeling how lovely it is when I feel there is no pressure to please anyone.
Emily Newman you are such fun, and this is an expression of great healing at play. Ha hooooo I say it’s time to be me today.
Brilliant question. I am still plagued by ‘Am I allowed to?’! Certainly when it comes to behaviour and expression to others. And I know to be true, that freedom of expression comes from self acceptance and self love.
I feel the same Emma and I agree that self acceptance and self love are key. Thank you for writing this Emily.
Great exposure of our ‘thought monsters’ thank you Emily. Acceptance is key to recognising we do always have a choice in all we do, yes we can choose to listen to our thought monsters or we can accept where it is we’re at and choose love.
I loved the dialogue you started with Emily- I used to also ask myself the question” Am I allowed to do this, and Can I do this”- forever needing acceptance and validation from others that I’m ok and enough. Thankfully, since attending workshops by Serge Benhayon I have re- connected to my inner knowing and now rely on this to give me the answer.
The “thought monsters’ no longer have hold over me as they used to.
Great blog Emily, I have the thought monsters often making excuses why I should do this or that and they really can run riot if I’m not able to stop and consider what is loving to self or not.
I keep coming back to your blog Emily; I love reading the conversation you have with yourself and your honesty around the thought monsters.
“True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself – self love and self care”
These words hold such a powerful truth for me.
Emily, your blog reminds me on – how easily I can get a bad conscience. Oh, may be I have done something wrong. This type of self-abuse I’m still working on to find out, why I allow self-doubt in me, this doesn’t make sense at all. I’m a son of god as everybody equally.
Recognising the thought monsters and confining them to junk mail is a great way to allow more space for loving expressions for ourselves and all those around us.
Being aware of our ‘Thought Monsters’ and how they play games with us and distract us from the truth is so important. I find if I stop and re connect when I feel my head taking over I can prevent myself getting carried away with negative thoughts and break the pattern of beating myself up over small things.
“True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself – self love and self care”
I love coming back to this blog; so many ‘gems” to ponder on, so many truths told and so much wisdom expressed.
I love your naming of critical thoughts the thought monsters I am going to teach kids about them, hope your ok with that! We tend to think we have our thought monsters in isolation and no one else is having them, or that they don’t affect anyone but ourselves but all our thoughts can be felt by others it comes through you, how you are, how you are with yourself, others are all affected by your though monsters. Isn’t it great that the antidote is self love and self care, being honest, accepting where your at, being real, not hiding. Time to bring more self care to our everyday.
Living our Truth and accepting ourselves in full leaves not the slightest room for any such troublesome gremlins.
When we walk tall in our own shoes in the knowing of who we are and comfortable in our own skin we will never seek permission to be or to do from the outside – this will not enter our sphere.
We all slip up sometimes – indeed Emily. What an amazing world it would be if we all allowed ourselves to do this without thought monsters getting involved? Your insightful words suggest to me, that if we lived this way we would naturally allow others to slip up too and in the process, dismantle this idea of perfection that has been so trapping us all. See you later thought monsters – lets choose to allow.
Great comment Joseph – allowing offers so much more space than coming down on yourself or another.
Emily, I loved reading this blog. It brought me a deeper awareness into how I fall in with those around me so that I don’t rock the boat. Doing something or speaking up I have found huge for fear of hurting another but I am learning that it is vital that I listen and follow My heart. Sometimes it has not been easy but it is at these times that a loving commitment to my rhythm is essential.
Excellent Emily! Really Enjoyed this. Lately I have been saying those things that previousy I thought I couldn’t say, and it is truly refreshing. Its better to say it than hold back and experience the thought monsters!
Still a work -in progress though. I still find myself wanting to speak up and express something. But what I’m learning is its more about trusting the feeling and expressing from that rather than trying to say the right words.
I completely agree. It is great to let go of the notion of perfection, getting it wrong and ridicule.
Holding back for fear of others judgement, lack of understanding and reaction allows us to fill with thoughts and ways that are not True for we are giving power to the false and all that is outside of our True Wisdom and knowing.
A beautiful reminder to claim who we are in full and accept that slip ups do happen, and when they do, it’s about taking responsibility and then moving on.
“… accept that slip ups do happen… ” – they do and I know it’s obvious but seeing these words written down takes it deeper for me. Although I am getting better I can still find it difficult to accept myself when I make a mistake. For me it’s about reminding myself of truth; through making mistakes I have an opportunity to learn and therefore evolve.
Emily, your words brought tears into my eyes. I feel such an openness and allowance to be me and explore this on a deeper level after reading your blog.
Beautifully put Kerstin, this blog is one of those that really breaks through the consciousness many find themselves caught in, thinking negative or self defeating thoughts about themselves, without really intending or meaning to. Through being able to observe this way of being that is so common, Emily brings it all more out into the open for all of us, so we need not hold onto the belief – “this is who I am”, but instead observe it as just something that I think or do that is not me, and therefore can choose to not think or do it anymore.
Thank you Emily for sharing this great insight, to say yes to being who we are in full is to say no to the monsters , the fiery love that we are even holds the monsters as they melt and fade into the nothingness they came from.
“True freedom is loving the body I’m in” – This needs to be on bumper stickers around the world….
Clocking these little mental processes can help us to evolve, especially when we catch the ones that hold us back, or that are self-bashing. This sentence jumped out at me today: ‘So, instead of bashing myself, I’m realising why (in most cases it’s ‘cause I feel alone, or tired, or want to bury some feeling beneath a big pile of cake), then I’m accepting my choice and moving on.
Isn’t it amazing how much time we can waste with these “Thought Monsters”? Time not spent on appreciating ourselves! And I also found that my choices do effect the kind of thoughts I will have: when I treat myself like trash, my thoughts are trash – when I treat myself with love and respect, my thoughts are a lot more supportive.
I just have to come back at times to your awesome and funny blog Bianca – I just love the way you write and share – and it just gives little tweaks to stay alert to ‘them’ …
Ahh this is great Emily – “True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself – self love and self care.” I’ve been working on this lately…. and noticed that I was waiting for someone to give me permission to take time for me!! Crazy I know but a great one to discover.
This has really made me smile Aimee! “…..and noticed that I was waiting for someone to give me permission to take time for me!! Crazy I know but a great one to discover”.
yes, it is totally crazy, but it is an old hook for women especially – a consciousness that is great to discover and begin to dismantle and deconstruct.
Emily , love the way you playfully presented this blog. I too can relate to dancing around people trying to keep everyone happy at the expense of holding back the true me. Hiding I guess you call it so to protect myself from people reacting to what I have to say. Those monster thoughts helped me with that!. These days they don’t have so much of a hold on me as I am more aware and have the confidence to stop them knowing they are trying to hook me in to behaving in a certain way which is not truly serving myself or others. A number of years ago it was said to me that by not expressing my truth does not allow others to be in their truth. This is powerful and shows the responsibility we all have to others in being our true selves and not holding back with what we are feeling.
Awesome and insight-full blog Emily, it’s amazing, it made so much sense what you said about expressing to others, how we hold back for fear of how the other might react. We hold ourselves so tightly bound, with ideas and beliefs of how we can and can’t be, and yet nobody stops to examine if these are really true.
Emily I feel like I have been in your mind! Hilarious and not all at the same time! Recently I was doing some work with some kids and they were role playing in front of the whole class and I asked them to imagine a speech bubble and filled it with the possible thoughts the child was of “I am so stupid, everyone knows the answer but me” and you could see the relief that they were not the only ones who had thoughts like that about themselves, those thought monsters are more powerful because we think they are personal to us rather than being rather common and not special to us. It’s a choice like you share about being honest and willing to be more loving so the thoughts can then be loving.
Emily what you have written is beautiful. Reading this I could feel that awkwardness in me leave and my level of contraction drop with the thought that hey, someone else has those thought monsters! And the reminder that there will be times I will go into comfort, the importatpnt part is to be aware of it, feel into what it is, and learn from it….part of evolving. Thank you for sharing this in the way you did.
I love the shift Emily from “Am I allowed?” to”am I able?” I read and felt the quality of questions change and that means the quality of connection to the body – being more with the power within that naturally speaks to us through that connection.
I have come back to this blog after quite sometime and realise once again how pertinent it is to me, the old thought monsters are there, ready to pounce at any opportunity if given an inch. Staying connected to myself has never come that easy to me and still wavers majorly from time to time but over all I am learning more and more how important that connection is.
I love this Emily. Those horrific ‘thought monsters’, that have been planted in us like little nasty weeds to fester from the moment someone might have growled at us for shining in our full light — as we might have done when we were little. I was at a Way of the Livingness Presentation yesterday and there was someone playing the drums with unreserved joy coming through them the entire time. why would anyone want to suppress that, to dampen that in another? The thing is, that stamping out of another’s joy and love does happen — we live in a world that is unresolved in the hurts so many of us carry, and in not dealing with them,we get a big ouch seeing another shine in full. Intuit moment, we can choose to be inspired by that, to consider how can we get what they are reflecting, or we can rile up and feel a jealousy that arises us from not having chosen to live this joy ourselves.
The more I understand this, and see this is game we have all been playing, myself included, the more I am saying no to the game and letting my light shine without dimming any part of it. It’s forever an unfolding, there is always more to shine and let out, and always more ‘thought monsters’ to weed out. And it’s a very satisfying and rewarding process!
I just love coming back to this blog, it always serves as a timely reminder when some of these little ‘thought monsters’ try to pop up.
‘True freedom is not something someone else can give you, but what you give yourself – self love and self care’ This sentence struck me this time when I read your dialogue, certainly something for me to have loving thoughts about.
Great dialogue Emily, highlighting what runs through our heads and a way to approach it with love.
Most of us don’t tend to think (pun intended) that there could be loving and true thoughts just as there can be unloving and destructive thoughts. I know for me that as I have grown up my thoughts have tended to become more and more unloving and destructive at least that is until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and realised there is a simple and loving way to be that equally supports us to have loving and true thoughts.
I agree Joshua I have had some very horrible thoughts at times and very destructive and suicidal – but these days they are becoming more and more loving and when those thoughts do surface again from time to time I know that they are not me in any way.
Yes i too Joshua have become aware of the quality of my thoughts in recent years. Prior to coming across Universal Medicine my thoughts were not of a loving nature towards myself and I can say that his has significantly changed. I am aware of any thought that is not of a loving quality and know that those thoughts are not who I am, they do not define me. Consequently they are easy to spot now and make the choice to say NO to that energy.
The thought monster is the easy target. The real question to me is whether ‘true’ thoughts are always true. “I shouldn’t be eating this piece of cake right now” is a true thought, a true intent or something else? Do true thoughts have to be expressed in ways that make them true no matter what? Certainly, the given example is not a monster through but not because is not a monster through has to be a true one, or does it have to be?
I loved reading this again Emily. Our bodies are an incredibly powerful marker of when something is true or not, when we allow ourselves to be honest and feel. ‘There is a difference here because the true thoughts don’t feel like monsters to me when I have them – there is no drive or push or fear behind them like the Thought Monsters have, just an openness, respect and realisation.’ – Well said. One of many great truths in this brilliant article – thank you.
This is an amazing blog Emily, understanding and allowing for ourself to sometimes slip and get back up again trough this understanding and the love that is there innately in us.