In the past I can honestly say that I had little to no genuine appreciation for men.
I used to see men more for the roles they played, or what they could do for me, or for their family. Sometimes I was aware that some men should be avoided as they gave me unwanted looks or attention that made me feel uncomfortable. At other times I gave my power away to men as I thought they knew more than me or they were forceful and imposing with the way they delivered their knowledge.
To add to this I also had very little appreciation for myself, and women in general too. I liked what I saw in each gender and thought some things were nice or pleasing but when I reflect on the level of appreciation I now have for myself and others, I can see that in the past there was very little true appreciation.
It is only because of Serge Benhayon and all that he presents and lives, along with his unending care towards people, that I have become aware of this. With the support of Universal Medicine practitioners, the amazing reflection of all the caring and vital men and women that make up the students of The Way of The Livingness, as well as my willingness to deepen, unfold and change old patterns, I have connected to and can appreciate the deeply loving person I am and can also see and feel others to be.
In this past year I have been fortunate enough to meet two amazing new male friends who have inspired me. If I had met these men in the past, I am sure I would have been oblivious to their amazingness and/or I probably would have found it confronting to be met with such care and in such an engaging way, let alone appreciate them for it. I have met many people over the last year but these men stood out for their very genuine qualities.
One man is a painter who I was recommended to use. He has a high level of integrity and an amazing work ethic and consideration for his clients. The other man is retired and volunteers a lot of his time; I see him when my husband and I walk our dog near the beach. He has a beautiful way about him that includes everybody around him. He always gives his full undivided attention to the people he speaks with, and he lifts people up by simply smiling and saying a joyful hello. Both men have integrity, are very respectful and value relationships with other people and have a beautiful way of connecting with people.
Whenever I am around each of them I feel met and cared for because each of them takes the time to stop, really listen and hold a very caring level of eye contact throughout the conversation.
I simply feel how amazing it is that these men – who just go about their day – work hard doing what they do (whether they are paid for it or not), are living life to the full and yet have held on to the beautiful tenderness and self-connection they would have had as young boys. Today they share that in the interactions they have with others. They are not shut down or dismissive, racy, forceful or imposing; instead they are patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring. These are men to admire, who definitely have qualities worth appreciating.
I love that I can see these amazing qualities in others and myself. I now know what true connection feels like and I can have it with other people in my everyday activities.
Written in the full appreciation of the lived loving way of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Johanna Smith, Bachelor of Education
Further Reading:
Relationships
The Gorgeousness Of It All: Falling In Love With Myself, Others and The World
Magic of Knowing… We are All One & the Same on the Inside
839 Comments
The more I appreciate myself the more appreciation I have for everyone in my life both men and women.
Yes Helen, I agree, and appreciation is a very beautiful addition to our lives.
Feeling the love in ourselves and others allows us to appreciate the power of love.
Bringing more appreciation into all areas of our life changes so much, and life becomes extra enjoyable.
Indeed that is something that has surfaced as well since I became a student of Universal Medicine and The Way of the Livingness: more appreciation on men and women. Now I see the big role each gender has to play and their potential, which is so much more than we do.
We have come to a point on this plane of life where nothing is truly working from the old place we have been doing so. Our world is a mess, we have the most murder, rape, corruption, war, violation, abuse, deceit etc. Then ever before. So what is going on? Are we being asked to be more responsible? Have we taken this role seriously or have we been feeding the creation of staying in the exact same spot (comfort) instead of rising beyond? Lets ponder.
When we do appreciate men for who they truly are in essence, we then begin to break down the ill- consciousness that imposes on us all and robbing us all of the innate richness, tenderness and sacred qualities that men in their true essence naturally offer us all.
We can’t see how amazing we or other people are when we are focused on what they/we do or have done previously.
We do not need to talk about appreciation – this is not appreciation – this is knowledge; we just need to live it in our movements.
The main recipe for a fantastic life filled with lots of love is appreciation, if we don’t appreciate we go round and round in circles without seeing the beauty that is there for us.
Truly appreciating men is also an appreciation of ourselves as it is a direct reflection of the love and respect we behold ourselves with.
Beautifully said Elizabeth, when we hold and appreciate ourselves in the love that we are then it becomes a natural way of being to appreciate men and others in our lives. Deepen the love and appreciation within ourselves and then appreciation of others becomes a ‘normal’ way of living.
So very true Caroline. No trying involved, it very organically becomes a way of being.
I agree, appreciating ourselves first and foremost helps us to naturally start appreciating others.
So well said Elizabeth. It is simply not possible to truly appreciate another unless we hold that same level of love and appreciation for ourselves first.
I now work in an all boys’ school and what is so apparent to me, under the veneer of their acting tough and invincible, is just how sensitive and tender every boy is that I encounter. They try desperately to hide them but these qualities simply can’t be buried – we can pretend all we like that they are not there, but it doesn’t mean they are not for all of that, or that at heart every single boy and man is simply divinity incarnate in the natural caring, sensitive and gentle quality they possess.
Yes, Johanna, appreciation of who we are is the foundation of being able to see all the amazing qualities we have ourselves and equally in others. And by you expressing the level of appreciation you have felt for two men close to you you confirm the love that lives within you and is there to share with everybody naturally so.
Tenderness in men has been a hidden treasure for too long.
Agreed Michael and this loss of this richness lived and reflected in our lives is something we are all responsible for allowing. Deepening our relationship with our essence we can then appreciate the richness that is there is all others of either gender and our connections becomes founded on truth, confirming the true qualities of who we naturally and tenderly are.
I found that how I treat myself I then also treat others – of either gender. That may be coloured by preferences or if I want something from specific people but overall it was the same. Once I lived with more love my behaviour and experience of others and myself became very different.
As I express more appreciation I feel my life get lighter and more in-joy-able, relationships open up and I feel more confident too. What a great medicine appreciation is.
I have finally come to see the struggle I had for many years to appreciate the men in my life was because I “had very little appreciation for myself”. I have learnt that to love truly love another, to care for another and to appreciate another it is so crucial for me to have all those beautiful qualities in my own foundation for life. And once I do, loving, caring and appreciating another comes so very naturally.
Yes I feel that too Ingrid. And it’s something that has no end point it just deepens as we choose and allow for more care love and appreciation in our daily life
So well put Ingrid. It is only with learning to have this true love and appreciation for ourselves, that we can start to really begin to truly love another.
Same for me Ingrid, it feels so lovely to appreciate ourselves and then our love and appreciation for everyone in our life is also ignited. It is difficult to appreciate others if we leave ourselves out.
When we appreciate ourselves we give a gift to the world and when we appreciate another the same thing happens, so how can appreciation ever be a bad thing – it’s a win, win situation.
Beautiful for you to be able to appreciate men to this deep level and to see them in a different way. These 2 men in your life who you describe shows that there is potential in us all to connect with each other and offer something greater.
When someone truly meets you for who you are it is an imprint that is left in the body. To be able to receive that is to plant a seed that we have that capacity within us too. Very inspirational.
A lovely moment to stop and appreciate men, a variety of men for bringing their true tenderness to the world. Bringing appreciation can surely only encourage and support men to return to their tender caring nature and to know that in that innateness they are already enough, what they do with that is a bonus.
Yes, that is true and this also allows women to be treated with much more appreciation.
When we truly connect to another we realise it doesn’t matter what there gender is we are all pretty damm amazing, look deep into another’s eyes and you can not deny divinity and the universe.
I enjoy how your post Johanna is so confirming of the way we see ourselves being the way we see others too, and as a woman to see and appreciate a man in his qualities is very beautiful. I know for myself that when a man shows (and is not afraid to show it either) his qualities of tenderness, sensitivity, warmth and engagement, I’m absolutely sold, and in-love!
I recently observed a friend of mine meet a male work colleague of mine and saw him open up and respond very differently to how he normally does. What was great about this was that the friend didn’t relate to him in his role but to him as a person and he was very open and responsive to this and it taught me to not play into the roles but to connect deeper to the person.
Great observation MW, and this shows how we are with each other can either suppress who we are or confirm and open us up more to be more ourselves.
It is really very great to have articles like this one being published, an article that openly talks about the true care and integrity that can be present in men. As this is something to be appreciated, to be honoured and cherished and adored.
Being able to appreciate others means we are able to appreciate ourselves too. The magic of appreciation is powerful and simple, yet not many people in this world are utilising its power and magic. I am starting to tap into this amazing power through appreciating myself and others more and more.
Appreciation is about what a “true connection feels like”, and once discovered in ones-self we can-not but help appreciating what others bring from their essence.
What I have noticed is that if I do not appreciate myself as a woman, then I am not open to receiving and seeing the beauty in another. The more I surrender and drop into my own beauty the more this draws this out in others too.
The more we appreciate ourselves the more we offer another. How powerful is this maker that shows us that we leave no one behind when we offer more love in the equation?
I know I’ve been told this before many times but today it felt like a lightbulb came on reading your comment MW. This then brings up a question: Are there any beliefs being carried about being beautiful?
What we do not do enough is appreciating.. Not just by words but by movement. It is recently that I have begin to feel what appreciation actually is, to receive the moment that is full of appreciation and choose to walk it thereafter. It is practise.
I loved what you shared Danna, that appreciation is not just in words but by our movements, how we move within ourselves and appreciate who we are, and our loving actions towards others, where by touch they feel the love and appreciation we have for them.
Yes thanks Danna great reminder that appreciation is the key!