In the past I can honestly say that I had little to no genuine appreciation for men.
I used to see men more for the roles they played, or what they could do for me, or for their family. Sometimes I was aware that some men should be avoided as they gave me unwanted looks or attention that made me feel uncomfortable. At other times I gave my power away to men as I thought they knew more than me or they were forceful and imposing with the way they delivered their knowledge.
To add to this I also had very little appreciation for myself, and women in general too. I liked what I saw in each gender and thought some things were nice or pleasing but when I reflect on the level of appreciation I now have for myself and others, I can see that in the past there was very little true appreciation.
It is only because of Serge Benhayon and all that he presents and lives, along with his unending care towards people, that I have become aware of this. With the support of Universal Medicine practitioners, the amazing reflection of all the caring and vital men and women that make up the students of The Way of The Livingness, as well as my willingness to deepen, unfold and change old patterns, I have connected to and can appreciate the deeply loving person I am and can also see and feel others to be.
In this past year I have been fortunate enough to meet two amazing new male friends who have inspired me. If I had met these men in the past, I am sure I would have been oblivious to their amazingness and/or I probably would have found it confronting to be met with such care and in such an engaging way, let alone appreciate them for it. I have met many people over the last year but these men stood out for their very genuine qualities.
One man is a painter who I was recommended to use. He has a high level of integrity and an amazing work ethic and consideration for his clients. The other man is retired and volunteers a lot of his time; I see him when my husband and I walk our dog near the beach. He has a beautiful way about him that includes everybody around him. He always gives his full undivided attention to the people he speaks with, and he lifts people up by simply smiling and saying a joyful hello. Both men have integrity, are very respectful and value relationships with other people and have a beautiful way of connecting with people.
Whenever I am around each of them I feel met and cared for because each of them takes the time to stop, really listen and hold a very caring level of eye contact throughout the conversation.
I simply feel how amazing it is that these men – who just go about their day – work hard doing what they do (whether they are paid for it or not), are living life to the full and yet have held on to the beautiful tenderness and self-connection they would have had as young boys. Today they share that in the interactions they have with others. They are not shut down or dismissive, racy, forceful or imposing; instead they are patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring. These are men to admire, who definitely have qualities worth appreciating.
I love that I can see these amazing qualities in others and myself. I now know what true connection feels like and I can have it with other people in my everyday activities.
Written in the full appreciation of the lived loving way of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Johanna Smith, Bachelor of Education
Further Reading:
Relationships
The Gorgeousness Of It All: Falling In Love With Myself, Others and The World
Magic of Knowing… We are All One & the Same on the Inside
820 Comments
The world needs more men in life who can express that ‘patient, open, engaging, humble, gentle and genuinely caring’ side as by example, this type of expression permits others – both men and women – to connect to those qualities in themselves and express in this way without the need for the protection that breeds the forcefulness, raciness, dismissiveness or imposition that is evident in many of us.
You had my attention at the title Johanna! There is indeed so much to appreciate about men. Recently I attended a meeting where the tenderness that was expressed by the men in the meeting just astounded me. Their tenderness was so divine that it made me feel all the areas of hardness and protection and lack of tenderness that I still hold in my own body.
Johanna, what you describe here touches my heart as I did not appreciate men at all in my past. I only felt hurt by them, used and manipulated. I start to realize that this is an image I carry which is not true. Your blog inspires me to feel even more different concerning men, to open up and to let go of this untrue past image.
Beautiful, deeply touched by your words. It is those connections and relationships in everyday life that are the biggest presents. I feel the same love for men and more and more, I can truly see them for who they are: gorgeous, tender, humble, fragile and just absolutely sweet and beautiful.
Susan, from reading your comment I get to feel that without understanding we lack the ability to appreciate others as we stay stuck in judgement and never really see another for who they truly are.
It is amazing and worth noting that the more we appreciate and value ourselves the more we start to value and appreciate others around us.
Johanna this reminds me of new male relationships I have developed this year. One is with the local road crossing attendant who assists people crossing the road before and after school which happens to be near our house and thus we get to see each other often. The other is the local service station owners, on the corner of our street, who still come out and fill your car up with petrol. All three are middle aged to old men but I am often surprised about what they converse about, what they observe and how freely they open up. They don’t miss a beat and love a good chat.
Johanna what I can feel here is your true beauty and stillness that meets these men and how you reflect each other. Your level of appreciation for yourself can only equal your appreciation for others. It is simply beautiful.
Men are often thought to be the ones who can save the world, and a lot of growing up is learning that we have to be tough, not fail (in whatever way that means) and enjoy all the things then ‘men’ enjoy. But never are they asked to be themselves, never are they rewarded for being tender and expressing sensitivity. The true man has a great side of femaleness, and this is what we are all naturally born with, its just that we learn to be more from the ‘male’ energy because that is how we ‘get things done’ and not feel how we truly feel.
And I can assure you Harrison, that as women deepen their appreciation of their connection to their own femaleness we come to so deeply appreciate it in men. This I can testify from most beautiful experience.
The tender man is the one who will change this world, and never forget this.
I’ll be sure to never forget that Rachel!
Gorgeous Harrison, a true man leading the way inspiring other men they can do the same. Deeply appreciated by me.
To be able to hold both the qualities of femaleness and maleness in an equal balance is truly inspiring.
Johanna, I have realised too that appreciation is something that didn’t figure very much in my life. However it is now something I am actively engaging with, in fact when I felt the huge dismissal of appreciation in my life it was very sad to feel. To appreciate is an activity that I can feel opens up my relationship with myself and one which is actually very natural to have with others. What I’m realising is that the more deeply I drop ‘being hard on myself’ the simpler and more natural it is to have appreciation. I must also say that without the lived, loving example in Serge Benhayon, I’d neither have been able to drop the lack of appreciation. Now there’s something to appreciate!
I can be so automatically ‘hard on myself’ that any thought of appreciation for myself or others goes out the window. Like you, Rosanna, dropping that is key to appreciating and thus enjoying me and the world and without Serge Benhayon and now more and more others, I’d never have seen this. Yes I appreciate all this too!
In this blog I feel how appreciation can make seemingly insignificant relationships in our lives significantly inspiring..
“appreciation can make seemingly insignificant relationships in our lives significantly inspiring” – this should be a well known and famous quote Abby!
Agreed Alexandra – lack of appreciation does make for a dull life full of drive and very little celebration.
I love what you describe here and how the way you view men (and women) has changed since meeting Serge Benhayon and attending Universal Medicine events. It takes appreciation and love of oneself to truly extend that love and appreciation to others.
It’s interesting that when we begin to appreciate ourselves how easy it is to appreciate others. Since finding Universal Medicine I’ve come to appreciate the sensitivity of men and now understand that the toughness that some of them exhibit is simply a veneer to protect the tenderness within.
Deborah this is so true – as a society we so easily judge a person for their behaviour and forget that there is always the tenderness they are trying to protect. I too have come to understand and appreciate this important fact with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
This is true for me also Deborah. Thanks to the work of Universal Medicine I had no idea of the true tenderness of men or that their greatest hurt is not being loved for the true tenderness and preciousness they are. Just this simple understanding has changed my life and every relationship I have.
The tenderness I have seen and felt from the men through attending Universal Medicine is nothing I have seen before in a group of people. The support, care and inspiration that many men have felt to return to their born tenderness is truly amazing. It is also awesome to hear their stories of how they once were and to how they choose to be now. Inspiring and refreshing.
Today at work there was a commotion outside. I looked out to the street and saw a middle aged man quite agitated, aggressive and yelling. As I continued to observe him, I saw beyond the outer presentation to the tender boy and his fragility. I saw him for who he is and I knew he was being met even though he did not see me. This was a healing for him as it was for me.
I can feel your love and appreciation, Johanna.
What I learn about appreciation is if I appreciate myself I easily appreciate others. And vice versa, when I don’t and am hard on myself, I don’t see anything in others to appreciate, if man or woman.
Very true Ingrid, appreciation for self is the true key to appreciate others. Without it we are vulnerable to all that is telling us we are not enough.
I am appreciating your latest sharings Johanna on your husband and men in general. You are declaring openly and lovingly of the true tenderness that lays within men to remove the stigmas, pictures and ideals we may hold onto or have of men.
I felt the same Marcia – so much appreciation to you Johanna for your latest sharings on your husband and the beauty of men generally.
Me too Marcia. Very inspiring Johanna and so great to open up this discussion
I think there is not one person that doesn’t like being truly met for who they are, the men you are talking of seem lovely and I know from what you share of them I have met many people like that in my life. When I do meet them I appreciate them for who they are and what they bring, it is a great quality to have (integrity and love and inclusion of others) and I completely get what you say in that being with these people lifts you ?
It is so beautiful to have the care and appreciation for yourself that has lead you to appreciate these men and others. I find the simple joy of noticing how lovely people are is exquisite.
“To add to this I also had very little appreciation for myself, and women in general too.”
I agree Amanda, to realise that appreciating oneself opens you up to a whole new world of appreciating, liking, enjoying and really seeing others, both men and women, changes one’s life! I really like that you used the word, ‘exquisite’ … it is such an apt word, and yes noticing how lovely people are, is the most delicate and warming experience to be living with.
No matter if man or woman, the look in a person’s eye and the ability to fully connect brings a connectedness to everyone around them.
In the same way a smile is contagious so is the marvellous radiance coming from any who is truly caring, loving and uncompromising in their love in expression.
Looking deeply in another’s eyes is like swimming in a delicious sea.
Yes it is – and it is telling you stories much deeper than any words can do. It’s like time stands still, yet you have access to eternity.
Beautifully said Luke, it is so deep when we truly connect and the feeling when we truly make contact through the eyes is just awesome.
Beautifully expressed Luke. A deep care and love for others that asks for nothing in return other than to offer a fellow brother the opportunity to be reminded of who they are. True love in expression, thank you Luke.
It is truly beautiful that when we choose to not see people through our laced perceptions, that we can appreciate those who live truly connected and express from that, embracing people with a loving quality that hugs you on the inside, reminding us that we are that too.
Johanna, it is so important to notice these people, to appreciate them for who they are, as you have done. We all have the ability to inspire and support others as well as ourselves. Sometimes we just need to open our eyes and our hearts to see the wonders around us.
It is so beautiful and affirming to meet someone who has the gorgeous qualities you have described Johanna. It is also your loving refection that has allowed them both to open up to you as well.
The more we start to appreciate ourselves the more it comes back to us through others. I too have noticed this occurring since my self-appreciation has increased the qualities I feel in myself also are felt coming from others. It seems odd to consider how can we be individual when we all feel the same?
Such a crack up the saying goes “when you don’t need it you receive it”. Anything driving a need outside ourselves will never be confirmed as that would always confirm we are less, only once we live who we are in truth will confirmation come to continually inspire us to be more. Now this is true love.
Simply gorgeous Johanna. To stop and appreciate the qualities in others is so important and helps us to appreciate ourselves too. It’s possible to go through life oblivious to the people around us and what they bring. By stopping to appreciate we open up a whole new dynamic to our life which is not based on the all too usual self important drive that keeps us blinkered to everything around us.
I completely agree, it really stands out when you meet people who take time to connect in this way. It is an incredible gift no matter what age it comes from. One of the things kids miss is this connection from their parents. I have been called to account a fair few times in my life for being distracted when they were trying to tell me something really important from their day. It would only have taken me a moment to focus on them. This blog reminds me of the importance of really meeting everyone, giving undivided attention and feeling the amazing connection.
Yes, Lucy. In the past I have been driven by ideals and beliefs that I have to be or deliver something when interacting with another, rather than giving them the gift of my presence and simply meeting them in that moment. Yesterday I was at the vets, and a lovely labrador had obviously been in for some tests and was looking a bit fragile. A little girl of about four just came and sat next to him on the floor, and they just sat there together. It was beautiful and exactly what was needed.
Even a momentary meeting on a train or bus, when someone feels fully met, the meeting is transformed. It only takes a split second, but they know they have been met.
As you have said Johanna, in the past I did not have any sense of true appreciation either for myself or for anyone else. As I begin to appreciate myself more it gives me the time and space to appreciate others – and in particular men. When we begin to connect to ourselves, we are more able to connect to others and appreciate that in essence we all hold these same values and as we appreciate we are more able to live these values.
‘These men… are living life to the full and yet have held on to the beautiful tenderness and self-connection they would have had as young boys’. This was my take home sentence from the blog Johanna. What more is there than the natural sweet tenderness that is inherently ours from the moment of our birth, expressed fully throughout our lives so that is still there in us with all its purity as we retire – older, wiser, more evolved and developed and beaming out to others to inspire them to simply be all that they are.
What a difference appreciation makes. Lovely to relate that, as women, to our experiences with men. I am becoming more open with men and less likely to hold back what I feel and surprisingly, just as Michelle has shared, when I call out unacceptable behaviour I can feel that I am being heard and that the love is felt. In some instances too, these men do begin to acknowledge the love that is in them and allow for a more expanded sense of themselves.
Making eye contact with men and feeling totally in harmony with them is beautiful and something not many of us experience. We often avoid true eye contact because of not quite wanting to let our guard down, but when we do, the feeling is gorgeous as we can feel their innate tenderness.
There is so much beauty and healing on offer in making true eye contact, it does not make sense to not bring this at the foundation of our every relationship/encounter
I love what you have expressed here Carmel about being open to making eye contact with men; that it is beautiful and the feeling that you receive is gorgeous and tender, something which, as you say, all men innately are.
Beautiful Carmel – I would say that goes for women too, when we truly let our guards down and let another in, it is a significant feeling.
There is no culture, race, religion, colour, social economic back ground in the eyes, just a window to the soul reminding us all that we are one.
Indeed Carmel, and I find that when I see and feel their innate tenderness that it calls me back to mine … I can get pulled away from myself during the day and automatically harden – looking into a man’s eyes even for just a few seconds, can assist me in dropping that hardness and in returning me to me.
I am finding the more appreciation I have for myself, the vale of secrecy I have hidden behind for far to long is gone. I am now able to see and feel that there are other men that as you have said, still have not lost the tenderness of youth. They are a joy to meet and confirmation of who we truly are.
Yes Steve, they are such a joy to meet. Completely unimposing, delightful to be around and super caring.
It is such a shame that society has fallen for bringing young boys up to be tough and not be tender. Today I saw a lady run over half of her toddlers lower leg with a trolley, she stopped, waited for him to get out and then continued pushing the trolley outside with him hobbling and crying.
I stood in shock that no compassion or care was given to this little boy. Then I thought how sad that his tenderness has not been honoured and he is already expected to be tough.
Gorgeous Steve. Having ideals, beliefs or expectations towards a particular type of person, or gender, means we are not able to fully appreciate and greet these wonderful people in the world who have ‘not lost the tenderness of youth’, and are still super loving… What a blessing we are missing out on by holding onto past hurts.
Love it Steve, and I have no doubt that reconnecting back to the tenderness of your youth has totally rejuvenated and brought much joy to your daily life.
This is beautiful to read Joanna and I share the same feelings. since meeting Serge Benhayon and learning more and more to love and appreciate myself the more genuine love and appreciation I feel for and reflected from others . This is so lovely and really changes life and allows a joy and connection in side with everything and a great appreciation and understanding. A great sharing thank you.
When we let go of our hurts and open up to life and humanity we cannot help but appreciate the beauty and depth of tenderness in those who are also open to connection. There is nothing more joyful, than to appreciate one another in this way, and confirm our shared divinity simply with a smile or the twinkle of an eye.
I completely agree Janet- very true. For me I learned to let go of my hurts little by little the more that I allowed myself to connect and be with my body. The feeling of being with my true divinity superseded any hurt that was there. The stronger I felt the feeling of me being with me, then slowly hurts diminished. Now when a hurt pops up I have the foundation to be an observer of myself and unpack it from there.
Deep thanks to Serge for presenting a way of being in connection with myself.
I so relate to this too Johanna08.smith – it is an awesome realisation that when we truly let go of our hurts and drop into our true selves, how appreciation for self deepens, and this in turn deepens it for others too. I also found that appreciation for the person that I had felt previously hurt by, deepened for me when I let go of the hurt. The lightness of being is such joy to then feel and be with.
Yes Janet, these simple moments of exchange where true appreciation is shared between people is magical.
I recently heard someone say that “this hurt is not coming into my relationship”. It was so inspiring to hear that this person was so absolute in their love for themselves and their partner that they were willing to work on their past hurts so that they did not come in and impact on their relationship. We can use relationships to heal past hurts or we can use them to perpetuate the hurts and not deal with them. Always a choice yet how beautiful to know there is a choice.
The twinkle of the eye, or the ability to actually see someone is very much appreciated by any who receive it. It is a truly wonderful part of life.
I love this celebration of the power of appreciation and how it grows when we are truly connected. Thank you Johanna for sharing your expansion which allows me to reflect on how my relationships have changed and evolved and the appreciation I have for that.
Thank you Johanna. Reading your blog allowed me to feel deep appreciation for men I know. One in particular touches me with his openness, his love of humanity and how he sees life as having endless opportunities to connect with people. Being with him is a joy for he is deeply caring and consistent in the way he listens and he brings a gentle humour to life which touches everyone. Until recently I would not have felt this level of appreciation for someone else for I did not have appreciation for myself. What a great reflection we have all around us and how lovely to see that when we begin to appreciate ourselves we deepen our appreciation for others.
Johanna, I can relate to having little to no appreciation for men not so long ago, but that is changing and I am finding that being more open and willing to engage with them is changing my relationships drastically. This attitude that I carried around was purely down to lack of self worth, which I can now see was governing my life and was stunting my expression. So the more I appreciate me, the more I am seeing how valuable those around me are and people I come into contact with during my working day.
I agree Julie, when we turn away from other people, it being men or women, we miss out on the true connection. It is crucial to value and appreciate ourselves to be able to truly appreciate and connect with others.
Beautifully shared Johanna. I work with a number of men and I love the moments where we really connect and I get to see how genuinely caring they are, not necessarily with me but with other people who are needing care. It’s just delightful to see.
I work in a primarily male dominated industry, and thanks to the work of Serge Benhayon I can now see who they are, value their unique qualities, and see beyond the often presented picture to the sensitive man within.
That is pretty amazing Heather, after all, one of the things we really want the most is to be seen for who we truly are. What an amazing gift to be able to see past the picture someone puts out to meet them as who they really are.
Johanna, I love men too for all the qualities you have just described. I feel that I have always really loved them for this but I have allowed my own lack of self worth to get in the way of seeing myself as their equals which has meant accepting some less than loving behaviour from them. Men in their tenderness simply melt me and now I have learned to be more claimed as a woman calling out more and more unacceptable behaviour from them, this allows men to feel the love that they are and the natural gorgeousness they have and to actually be ok with it.
I can say whole heartily with you that, “Men in their tenderness simply melt me”. There is nothing more beautiful to witness than men being tender with each other without feeling restricted of how this might be perceived by a world that doesn’t accept this as the norm. If men can be free to express their innate sweetness to women out in the world why do we not allow the same for men to express sweetly to other men?
Yes men expressing their sweetness with other men is so healing for all.
So true a man who is able to show his vulnerability and tenderness is a wonderful thing to behold.
This is beautiful Michelle. I have a husband who is very tender, gentle and caring and the more he surrenders to these beautiful qualities the more I love him and the sexier he is.
Calling out what is and isn’t acceptable is an ongoing choice to do so and at times can be uncomfortable but as you say Michelle McWaters, calling more and more unacceptable behaviours allows men to feel the love that they are and we are all truly wanting that.
This is great Michelle, sometimes it can feel harsh calling out behaviours for what they are, but in that moment we are all given a chance to stop, reflect, and move forward in a more loving way.
“Men in their tenderness simply melt me”. This is the same for me too and I’m sure we’re not the only ones Michelle! (And I’ve just seen Rachel agrees too) For so much of life I didn’t see the tenderness in men whether by their doing or my own. And if I did I sure didn’t appreciate it. Men being tender with themselves, with other men women or myself, stops me in my tracks. I feel as though I am adjusting to this new normal of how men are and letting go of all the beliefs I had around men, and around what I tolerated from men.
It is beautiful that in life we are able to see beyond our existing beliefs because of lived experiences with other people that we meet providing a new reflection of the possibilities of a different way.
Its interesting how our beliefs can mask what is right before our eyes and if we keep the mask on, we miss out on seeing that there is in fact a different way. I guess keeping the mask on is a form of protection that actually causes more harm than protection!
Very true Rosie. Our own created belief masks our reality so that what we have before us simply confirms the beliefs we take on.
The inspiration by others such as Serge Benhayon and Simone Benhayon reminds me of my responsibility – the ripples that emanate from how I choose to live, and the impact that has on other people’s lives.
Even the way we walk down the street or the aisles of the super market can have an impact on others. In each moment we have the choice to reflect our power and love to everyone. When we choose something less, those same people miss out and it is much easier to continue on in the same way when an evolutionary reflection is not offered.
This is an important point you make, Simon, that the ripples emanating from the way we live affect other people’s lives. Other people means everybody on this planet and beyond.
Well said Simon – very honouring of you. Serge Benhayon and Simone Benhayon are the most inspiring people I know. Their wisdom and simplicity is a bi-product of what they choose to live. The more responsibility you choose to live with the more you are given to live life free of drama. Do we want to be responsible?
I agree. This is truly beautiful when we make this choice.
For sure Michael, it is like a ripple effect, if we live a quality or feel that quality from another it is always inspiring and allowing for more of the same in ourselves and in others. To meet people with full engagement as Johanna describes of the men is a truly special thing, yet special in a way that is open and possible for us all to do. That is what is lovely to read about this appreciative piece.
This is true Michael, but only if we are prepared and willing to look in the mirror. I spent many years growing up blaming others for the state of my life not realising that they were a reflection of how I was with myself. With this new awareness I can now look firmly in the mirror (or maybe a quick glance sideways if I’m not prepared to look at something), and take responsibility for the reflection I get back. This is where the appreciation comes in, I can then appreciate for me for having the courage to face square on, the reflection I see in the mirror and call out those old beliefs that are not needed anymore. And Michael Chater, you are one of those tender gentle-men, who I have the pleasure of knowing and I appreciate you for who you are, which is gorgeous!
I love what you wrote Sandra “This is where the appreciation comes in, I can then appreciate for me for having the courage to face square on, the reflection I see in the mirror and call out those old beliefs that are not needed anymore”. Beautiful Sandra. That’s a whole lot to appreciate – taking responsibility! Many times I focus too much on what I have been choosing that is not true instead of appreciating the new found level of awareness and simply accepting my choices I have brought it. Love it Sandra!
Our lived experiences are everything and I am deeply appreciating that as I write this Michael, I have been humbled and made to realise how simple life can be if we are willing to really take a good long look at how we live our life in every single way.
I second that Amina “Our lived experiences are everything and I am deeply appreciating that as I write this Michael, I have been humbled and made to realise how simple life can be if we are willing to really take a good long look at how we live our life in every single way”. You have nothing to loose when you choose this!
It is always a joy to read your articles and I have had the same experience since meeting Serge Benhayon. Actively appreciating others and myself has become a daily activity that I really enjoy, it is a wonder that I lived any other way before as seeing people for who they are and what they bring just in the simplest way is a very honouring way to live.
So true – how often do people treat each other like the extension of a machine and purely defined by their role, functionality and mutual usefulness and without any regard of the preciousness that each and every one of us holds at our core.
Hear hear- well expressed Gabriele, this just means that we are on auto-pilot instead of truly connecting first. Very harmful I’d say…
Indeed it is such a limited way of seeing people reducing people to how they can fulfil our own needs.
… It is a wonder how i lived before…
I lIke that Amina. That is so true. This way of being with people should be so normal. This is whats kids live naturally. We had to come back from a way of living which didn t have a truth in it. The teachings of Serge Benhayon are very important, very necessary for humanity to show us the way forwarth.
Appreciation makes an amazing change in our lives as suddenly it is not about comparison or being as individual as possible. Instead we can see – often for the first time – how much we have in common and yet how very unique and amazing we all are.
Bringing appreciation to our lives is life changing indeed – a complete game changer. It is nothing less than “magical” to me.
I agree Amina, my relationships with people have changed immensely since meeting Serge Benhayon. And like you said it almost feels like I never saw people any other way than I do now. Though I do remember I did! It was such a flat way of seeing people just as a man or just as a woman with all the stereotypes etc. Now I see peoples different qualities, how everyone seems to express in their own beautiful way and to appreciate this is a really lovely thing to do.
Appreciation is like a delicate wash of our eyeballs. It removes the smear of judgements, stereotypes, caricatures and preferences that stops us seeing that beautiful man right before our eyes.
Gorgeous Rachel, ‘a delicate wash of our eyeballs’ indeed – instead of being tainted by judgement et al as mentioned, we are able to receive the true beauty and essence of the man or woman standing before us. Life changing.
So beautiful Rachel – ‘ a delicate wash of our eyeballs’ – what a gentle picture this brings, washing off the layers of misconceptions and ideals, so we can see clearly again the tenderness and love inherent in all of us, be it men or women, equally so.
This is so accurate Rachel when what we see is tainted by our Judgment etc, it is an unreal and distorted image. I get it that appreciation actually does wash this off leaving you to see clearly the beautiful truth. I love it.
Yes Rachel this delicate wash of the eyeballs is a blessing and the more we appreciate ourselves the more we are willing to see the beauty in others.
I agree Amina, and engaging with people on this level is very enjoyable also. I have for quite a while disengaged with people, and reacted to outer behaviours, completely dismissing who they are every time. The responsibility is back in our hands, when we connect to ourselves, we can connect with others, and in that life is very worthwhile.
I agree Arianne, connecting to ourselves, connecting to our inner heart is beautiful.
Before meeting Serge Benhayon and studying with Universal Medicine, I was too caught up in my own issues to look up and see the beauty that was right in front of me. I now love meeting ‘strangers’ and appreciating their unique qualities. We miss out on so much when we do not have the openness to see what is there in ourselves and others.
Fiona I wonder if the word ‘stranger’ could even become redundant. I too love meeting new people but they never really do feel like strangers as deep down we all hold the same qualities.
I know what you mean Vicky- I meet so many people through my job all the time and I never have the feeling that person is a stranger. And they never get the feeling when they meet me, because for me there is no created distance, only because I haven´t met this person in person in this life before.
I can relate to this Fiona – being so caught up in my own issues (that I made up in the first place) that I was unable to see the beauty surrounding me. I’m still guilty of that at times, but appreciation of others (and myself) has been life changing.
Its super cool to meet someone at work and just revel in how lovely they are, see the qualities that make them them, and appreciate what they bring in just being themselves. It makes space for us all to be who we are.
I just the other day stopped and appreciated how simple and normal it is for me now to openly share my appreciation for someone and the qualities they bring. This was huge, because before meeting Serge Benhayon, I couldn’t express how I really felt to anyone because I hadn’t truly connected with myself and appreciated myself first. Now I am constantly amazed by seeing others for who they are.
I used to feel very uncomfortable with appreciation that was expressed towards me from others, I did not have much for myself and I did not appreciate much in others. Now what I feel and see and express is a true blessing.
Johanna, I can so relate to that – I used to squirm when someone expressed appreciation towards me, some of the times I could feel I wasn’t sure about the energy it was delivered in, but most of the times it was because I really couldn’t fathom why they even appreciated me as I always felt I could be more than I was.
I used to be hugely uncomfortable with appreciation expressed towards me too, it was actually because I was uncomfortable in general within myself and deeply unaccepting of who I was. The more I accept who I am and how amazing I am, the more excepting I am of other people’s appreciation.
I love that transformation! I used to feel awkward telling people how great they are. Now it is a natural as getting of bed, in fact, like getting out of bed it is an essential of life.
Beautiful Rachel, true appreciation is so natural to do with no trying at all.
Me too!
I can very much say the same for me… It’s actually incredible to look back a few years before I came across Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and how clammed up I was around people. Everyone was a potential enemy! As a result i felt very much alone, as really I knew I wasn’t just keeping others out, I was keeping myself out. I was my own worst enemy. Now, from superficial friendships, I have the most intimate beautiful friendships that continue to deepen and deepen. As you say Amina, it’s the most joyful and honouring way to live.
I agree with you Amina, since I met Serge Benhayon, I have become so much more open to the qualities in others, have learned to appreciate what they bring to us all. Still working more deeply on truly appreciating myself and what I bring to this life, amazing how we hold back from this one. It seems easier to see the great qualities in others, before ourselves, crazy. But as I gradually come to have more appreciation for myself, more and more I see things that are great in others. Yet, now having that deep knowing of where I come from, I have thank goodness largely let go of the need to compare myself with others, just getting on with developing myself and bringing out my own qualities.
Yes acceptance and understanding of self and others really deepens the appreciation levels.
Yes Amina, me too, I feel the true love and joy grow inside of me when I appreciate myself, starting with my body, then appreciating all that I do, and also the quality that I bring to myself and others. When we are able to see these things within ourselves and others which we can fully appreciate, we start treating ourselves and others differently, with more honouring and love and care.
I agree wholeheartedly, Amina.
Gorgeous Amina. It is not only a beautifully honouring way to live…but also very natural.
What a beautiful comment Amina. Simplicity, honouring and appreciation – the perfect recipe for a life of love.
Yes me too Amina – ” Actively appreciating others and myself has become a daily activity that I really enjoy.” It feels so natural now and is so easy – there are so many many opportunities to express appreciation to our self and others, and it makes such a difference in everyone’s life when this is part of our daily lives.
Yes me to Amina; Appreciating myself and others has become a daily activity for me too. It made sense that this was missing from my life. To put it this way my thoughts were never really positive about myself or life. I grew up absorbing what others did or said; and felt how I was dismissed or not included most of the time. I took others behaviours on before I appreciated and created the space to nurture and honour myself in full.
Valuing myself is a way of life now – trusting others only comes from trusting yourself and giving it a go. Most of my family and friends were the same unaware how to self-care, and missing the know-how to build what you love to do and how you do it. It is a must to know how to value and appreciate yourself. One organization that leads this revolution is Universal Medicine.
This is beautiful Johanna, it is lovely to read about these two male friends of yours, ‘Whenever I am around each of them I feel met and cared for because each of them takes the time to stop, really listen and hold a very caring level of eye contact throughout the conversation.’ I can feel how important these interactions are with people, when i’m feeling my caring, tender, playful self, i can feel how this lifts the people that I come into contact with, it feels beautiful giving people the time to talk and not rushing because it is these interactions and moments of engaging with someone that make a difference to peoples lives.
Absolutely Rebecca Wingrave we can never underestimate the power we hold in true connection with another human being and the impact or inspiration we can have on others when we truly connect with them.
I agree with both of you, Andrew and Johanna. As a child I loved to buy my school booklets in a little shop of a lady who treated me the same as adults. She took her full attention to serve me. And this was a indescribable feeling of appreciation. Over 30 years later I met her again on the street and told her what beautiful marker she had left in me. She started to cry – as now I could give her my appreciation back.
And I agree with all three of you. When we hold another in the equal Love we know we are, it confirms the truth of Love we truly are and equally share. Yes the power of holding and sharing our true connection to Love is simply inspirational. And in truth, we all want to feel and live Love in our lives.
What a beautiful story you are sharing here Sonja! What an incredible healing and joyful moment would have been missed, if you hadn´t expressed your appreciation towards her after all the years! How amazing it is, when we connect and open up and express what is true. Knowing you I do appreciate your openness and way of expression a lot and it is beautiful to read how you bless the world with it.
Lovely sharing Sonja, it just shows no matter how much time has passed, we have an impact with the choices we make. It is never too late to express what needs to be expressed, be it now or after many years – there will be an effect and this can make such a difference to someone else’s life as well as ours.
This is gorgeous Sonja. It’s sadly so rare that we express our appreciation for each other that it can be such a surprise that it moves us to tears. However stories like yours and Johanna’s are turning the tide – the beautiful reflections of appreciation we offer to others they may then be inspired to express to someone else, and so appreciation expands until it becomes reestablished as our natural and normal way.
This is super beautiful and shows the power that we have in true connection.
That is a beautiful story Sonja, and it highlights the importance of always expressing to another the appreciation we feel. It makes me hope that I bump into a few old teachers and family friends and gives me the opportunity to express my similar experiences and the profound impact I have felt from them. Simply love this, thank you!
Wow – that just goes to show the power of not only FEELING appreciation, but expressing it too. What an amazing gift to be able to share with someone just how amazing they are, and the difference they made in your life.
So gorgeous. It just shows us that we are all always having an impact on others. How wonderful that you got to express this to her. Recently I have been remeeting people from my childhood who are quite sick and elderly and I felt it to be super important to leave nothing unsaid, as in how they felt to me as a child, the quality they brought to me and what I appreciated about them. Appreciation offers expansion, confirmation and completion.
So true and half the time I am sure that we are not even aware of the effect we have on others.
Especially as it can and often is much stronger than we consider possible.
And yet, it serves us to remember that everything we think,say, do has an effect on us and everyone else as well.
Yes, as this is our responsibility to ourself and others as everything does have an effect on all of us.
Part of being in the world is that it is normal for us not to know the affect we have on others, but perhaps as we become more aware of who we are in the world, and all that that means, we will begin to get an inkling, and hence our journey of wisdom is expanded.
Love this Rebecca, true responsibility lived and the way we will change the world. No amount of technology and advancements in this or that can make up for or even come close to a simple act of connection, a smile, a touch a word of encourgagment – this is what will change the world, not who invented the rocket bomb. We get it so backwards – imagine giving out rewards for how we are with people instead of whether we got an A in this or that. I heard a mum say recently that she is tired of hearing teachers say nice things about her daughter and when I asked why, she said “I know she is lovely, I don’t want her to get rewards for that, I want her to get rewards for her maths and etc”. This is a mother who deeply loves her daughter and just shows how far of the mark we are of what is truly important.
“I can feel how important these interactions are with people, when I’m feeling my caring, tender, playful self, I can feel how this lifts the people that I come into contact with, it feels beautiful giving people the time to talk and not rushing because it is these interactions and moments of engaging with someone that make a difference to peoples lives.” I agree with you Rebecca, it is absolutely beautiful when we connect with people in this way, engaging fully at this level, giving ourselves and the other complete attention. It is at these times that we can feel the brotherhood that is possible for us all to live.
Yes, it is beautiful to see men behave this way and it is beautiful to see women behave that way as well, engaging others, being confident, caring and naturally expressing love.
How true this is Rebecca, and not rushing means you get to really enjoy each moment is you so choose.
Rebecca I agree. The joy I feel when I connect to another is gorgeous. It’s not the knowledge that I have made a difference to them that inspires this (although appreciation of this is deeply felt) it is simply in feeling the essence of the other and feeling them start to appreciate it and let it out.
That´s what life is about for me ! Connecting, allowing and showing myself in every connection. I agree a gentle eye contact, an engaging smile, expressed appreciation , a playful cheeky comment… That makes life alive and connected to everyone.
So true Rebecca – it’s beautiful to feel the heaviness lift from others when they are fully met with the lightness of who we all really are on the inside. It’s magic!
Rebecca it is so true, it’s about giving people space to talk and interact without rushing them, it’s those moments that make a difference. It’s the connection of presence that is felt which inspires and lifts the other person.
True Rebecca, I have tested this theory many times too. When I fully commit and deliver what is needed however long it takes magic happens! When I rush and worry about how long its taking, or I have not appreciated the amazing job and support I provide, things don’t go well. Simple, it works, and for all too.
Johanna, your blog reminded me of the fact that what we appreciate in others we also have within ourselves. I love how life is a mirror forever reflecting life back.
I’m not sure which reflection comes first, appreciating ourselves, or appreciating others, but what I do know is that the ‘more’ we appreciate ourselves, the ‘more’ we appreciate others… (And vice versa)… And so the reflection in the mirror keeps expanding and deepening.
“the ‘more’ we appreciate ourselves, the ‘more’ we appreciate others… (And vice versa)”- absolutely. There is such a deep joy that comes with appreciation. It is only a matter of starting expressing appreciation and committing to expressing more of it consistently. It may feel like an initial effort, but from there the flow of appreciation does not seem to stop anymore – it is just there, it’s everywhere and for everyone- ! I am not sure we can truly appreciate others with no platform of self-appreciation.
Yeah I like that too Alexandra.
If we don’t appreciate our selves we walk around feeling like everyone is doing us wrong.
When we appreciate ourselves we can feel we are worth loving and all others are too.
Beautiful Simon, appreciating self allows us to love and appreciate others. The reflection of appreciation is seen in others, the more we appreciate ourselves the more we appreciate others. It is so beautiful to connect to appreciation.
It seem that everything begins with ourself? Self-appreciation leads to appreciation for and from others, self-love to loving and being loved by others, self-care and nurturing to caring for and nurturing others and viva versa. How powerful is the science of reflection!
Thats the point Simon! Do I come (and express) from a point of ‘missing something’ or from my fullness?! Where I come from I will go.
Great quote from you Sandra: “where I come from, I will go”. I love the simplicity and deep truth from this sentence, itself being like a signpost. Thank you.
This is key Simon – ‘When we appreciate ourselves we can feel we are worth loving and all others are too.’ Thank you.
Beautifully said Simon. We can also feel like we are wrong when we don’t appreciate ourselves. We are worth loving deeply and it is not something that gets taught to us as a key in life.
Agree Simon, at some point when we feel we are not being met for who we are, we have not stopped to appreciate and confirm who we are. Comparison kills me with this one. I know when something is ‘gold’, but I choose not to appreciate it because I have not bothered to make that choice and appreciate it for myself. It comes down to responsibility and accepting you do know how to make that choice … if the reflection is there why not make that choice with them?
Simon, I love your sweet and short comment because for me it is so true. I was an expert in walking around and feeling like everyone is doing me wrong . . . since I appreciate myself more deeply I can feel my own worth more and more and so I can not hold back to love as well with every gesture and movement I do.
Learning to appreciate ourselves means we do not need to seek validation and approval outside of ourselves and we can confirm ourselves not for what we do but simply being.
Yep so true Simon. I know this because I have lived both of these.
‘If we don’t appreciate our selves we walk around feeling like everyone is doing us wrong.’ What a gold comment Simon! you’ve touched on something so important in that the way we treat ourselves and appreciate or unappreciate ourselves effects us in every moment of the day. And if we don’t live with a deep care and appreciation for who we are then it is like the whole world is against us. But when we cherish ourselves it changes our whole approach to life.
‘Simon- what you said about if we don’t appreciate ourselves we walk around feeling that life or people are doing us wrong – made me think of teenagers who are having a stressful period in their lives due to unresolved childhood stuff and think the world is against them. But life and people we meet are a reflection of our Livingness..
How important is it then to learn how to appreciate our worth from a young age.
The judgement, reaction and blame that we set aside for others are often a reflection of what we are truly not appreciating about ourselves. The more time we spend on doing and wanting to change leaves us never feeling that life is enough. The responsibility in choosing appreciation in each of our movements brings more to live and love and that can only be felt and appreciated in others.
It is interesting that as soon as we start to appreciate our walk instantly changes. It’s so simple yet so powerful.
I agree Alexandra, it is the more we appreciate ourselves that we in turn can appreciate others. This is a very simple but worth while life principle that can build and bring deep joy.
Yes Raegan, learning to appreciate ourselves is a sure way of deepening self love, and when we feel this within our selves it’s irresistibly gorgeous seeing and feeling this quality in other people to – and recognising how we are all essentially the same, just different shapes, sizes, skin colour and hair colour.
I am with you on this Reagan, and building this leaves you with a strong foundation of you and your self-worth, something for each and every human being.
And it makes perfect sense after all how can we fully appreciate another or give anything to another that we are 1st not giving to ourselves.
I agree Alexandra When we are connected, life is abundant and we can’t but appreciate life, divinity and our natural way.
Yes life is abundant when lived in this divine connection even if on a material level our life is very simple.
Alexandra, I relate strongly to that, in times where I doubt myself I have no appreciation for anyone else, and this is such a stark contrast to the appreciation I feel all around me when I have taken the steps to appreciate and love myself. It is crazy how we make loving our self seem egotistical and arrogant, when in fact it is the foundation for supporting others to shine also.
It is crazy isn’t it Stephen G, that loving and appreciating ourselves is seen as arrogant, when it is the most essential ingredient to loving and joyful, harmonious relationship with all others.
This is so true Stephen, when we have taken the time to love and appreciate ourselves the world seems like a different place, and we are able to appreciate others for all that they bring.
The arrogance and egotistical responses are a stark reminder of how far we can go in counter act what so many see in us. When we celebrate ourselves whole heartedly and keep building levels of appreciation we can be more and therefore live more of the quality of life that there is for us to live.
I actually would say that it is impossible to appreciate another if we do not have a marker of self-appreciation in our own body. Not only that but if we have no appreciation for ourselves we will struggle to actually be able to accept appreciation from another.
I agree with that one Elizabeth. I can have the most glorious things said to me and if I’m not choosing me it will not come in.
Yeah very true Elizabeth if we don’t have it for ourselves then its not really appreciation for another it would come with something else like comparison, adulation or something like that because we need to value ourselves first before we can value another.
I completely agree with this. Through consistently taking the time to appreciate something in myself everyday, I can now see how I appreciate the people in my life so much more as well. And some days it’s not easy to appreciate myself if I feel a bit off, but the intention and the doing of it usually brings me back to my joy, it’s amazing!
Yes a good question Angela, l’m inclined to say it has to be for ourselves first… from my own experience that is. If no self-appreciation, then seeing greatness in others is a source of tension and angst that we’re not living up to anything like that ourselves (when we know clearly that we could be). Essentially the definition of comparison and jealousy… with true appreciation (or ourselves) as the antidote. It is impossible to not appreciate others if I am appreciating myself.
I agree Jenny, it always has to start with ourselves…this goes for anything in life. The love that I can share with another can only be what I give to myself first.
Precisely Jenny – ‘It is impossible to not appreciate others if I am appreciating myself.’
It is wise therefore to connect deeply and to know ourselves.
Completely Jenny. It makes sense for us to develop and deepen appreciation, consideration, self love, gentleness etc as when we have founded a certain level or marker of these true qualities in ourself then it is impossible for us to treat others any lesser than this level. So from this truth it is completely uniting and loving to be self caring and confirming as it supports the whole of humanity.
Its almost like a formula.
When the cup is FULL we can drink from it and it is thirst quenching.
When we are full of love we are naturally able to appreciate and care for others.
When the cup is EMPTY we are searching for something to quench our thirst and cannot consider caring for others because the substance is simply not there.
Lets fill our cups to the brim and we will always feel we can share. :):)
Beautifully said Johanna, it is a formula. Once that marker is known in your body that can be the foundation for which you stand and use anywhere at anytime. That choice becomes your choice.
I like this Jenny, ‘It is impossible to not appreciate others if I am appreciating myself,’ this has been my experience. Appreciation of self is vital especially as you say if we do not want to get caught in comparison and jealousy.
Thank you for the reminder Jenny. Self-appreciation is powerful and supports our relationship with others and the world.
It is a bit like the chicken and egg debate….what is lovely that all we need concern ourselves with is the fact that they feed each other in an ever deepening cycle of more and more love.
Yes Rachel, and once connected with it starts to roll, and magnifies; we don’t have to “think” about it, it happens once we have chosen the energy of appreciation instead of blame.
Feels like we are in that cycle already, and when we start to appreciate that… A little appreciation can go a long long way! (I have just read Joan Calder’s comment, exactly what i was feeling too)
Yes they do feed each other so less debate needed and more appreciation I think!
So true Sarah, appreciation is the key. To appreciate we have to let go of any judgment on ourselves, and so on others. Then we can accept ourselves and others for who we all are, and appreciate that! It is endless once we begin, and gradually old, tired habits of protection fall away.
If I appreciate someone but do not accept that the same is in me – I say I am less. But less or more are both evils from the same old coin of separation. But we are equal. That is the truth. If we sell our selves for less, we give up on our power and we support separation.
To get inspired by someones expression of the same truth we all are is wonderful and the way we go. But to be inspired includes the knowing of our oneness and it means that we bring into activity what did sleep in us and so we join each other. If we ‘just’ appreciate the other but don’t bring alive again the same in us – we hold back and separate us from each other.
Well well said Sandra, as inspiration comes from the heart and so does it know its origin. Then as you mentioned it is important to accept this deep wisdom of our hearts and acknowlegde it to be true in order to have it as a marker/embodiment in our lives. It is not a mental game, but always a true way that is being held in the body. Appreciation comes from within, not outside.
Beautifully said Rachel. The cycle of reflection is indeed one of great love, forever offering us the opportunity to deepen within ourselves and therefore with others. Neither is actually possible without the other and what I know for myself is that all I can do is be responsible for my part in appreciating myself and others equally.
Very true Penny. You can’t appreciate others without appreciating yourself or vice versa. What I realised for myself is that I appreciate others more than I appreciate me. And that I’ve found it hard to accept appreciation from others because of this lack of appreciation for me. The appreciation is something work stopping to do and allow in our everyday.
Awesome Rachel — so does that mean we have a responsibility to appreciate our self?
I can feel this too, Angela. I can feel my awareness of those around me expanding so much as I become more aware of myself and how I am in the world. In this expansion I am in much less judgment and more appreciation of others.
It’s like, which one comes first, the chicken or the egg…? I find it easier to appreciate others than to appreciate myself and I feel this comes down to the lack of love I have for myself. The more this love grows, the more appreciation I have for myself and who I am and then appreciation for everything and everyone else grows in that process too. It’s like the fairground mirror, the mirror behind the mirror behind the mirror, appreciation keeps deepening the more we do it.
I love that Angela Perin, and I’m sure it goes hand in hand, if we don’t appreciate ourselves, it’s very difficult to appreciate others too, so what’s first… is it another chicken or the egg question?
I would agree that it does come from us first Angela and from that deepening we get the lovely reflection of tender, loving and caring men all around us, whether we know them or not.
Super-true. It reminds me of the endless reflections you see when you place one mirror in front of you and another behind. They stretch to infinity!
Very true – love grows love and appreciation grows appreciation
Absolutely. One of the men I write this blog about read it and he said ‘snap’ right back to Me.
Indeed Johanna when we can let in the appreciation of others it is our own self-love and appreciation coming right back to us.
I love that you were able to share the blog with this man, how confirming for him and a further beautiful reflection for you.
This is true Marika, and I feel it works both ways as well, we need to appreciate it in ourselves to see it in others and those things that irk us in others is often within ourselves as well.
Undoubtedly so Joel, if I see something in another that irritates me I now know it may be a point of reflection, an opportunity to look at why I am annoyed or frustrated and is it showing me more about myself than I have cared to realise.
How amazing (and highly responsible) is to approach life with this awareness Stephen. Something certainly worth being added to the school curriculum and/or parenting education…
Yes this awareness is a game changer taking responsibility for how we feel. I often find that if I am frustrated with another, what I am frustrated at them for is the same thing I haven’t healed within myself. This then provides me with an opportunity to get to work on healing that within myself. This is the ultimate form of responsibility.
And to adult education! The degree to which we are all interrelated is remarkable: we are reflecting the good, the bad and ugly to each other all the time. We attempt to ‘deflect’ this understanding through externalising and blaming – very much an adult occupation too. I know you are saying Alexandra if we implement this understanding young we will change the way things are and one day this will be part of the school curriculum. Until that happens, thankfully we have the school of The Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine available to attend.
Yes, I know for myself that it is very humbling when this is realised.
This is so true Joel for how can we recognise something in another if we don’t know it from within?
Beautifully and simply expressed Abby, ‘how can we recognise something in another if we don’t know it from within?
Exactly Kehinde – it all can only work through reflection.
Yes Abby, this is so true and I can really understand how I see now so much more beauty in both men and women around me as I have started to fully see the beauty in myself.
Yes Joel, that can be a bit harder to swallow, but I found that to be true; the ones who show me, reflect to me, a behaviour I react to, is often something I do myself as well. Now, with this awareness I can choose to appreciate the other for being my mirror, for showing me what I need to look at, and appreciate myself for my willingness to be honest about this, saying ‘whoops’, that’s something I need to work on, lovingly.
Yes, very true Joel. We cannot escape reflections and when we embrace them, we grow enormously
Yes so very true Marika and Joel. When we are open to looking, observing and exploring what is being reflected to us we are open to learning, growing and deepening who we truly and naturally are.
Very true Joel. Through committing to looking at those things that irk us in others we can begin to develop understanding for other people. This in turn means that we are more readily able to embrace people, be real and unguarded with them and not judge because we are not reacting to that which they are showing us.
Ah yes, know that one well Joel. Developing appreciation of self makes one more accepting of and willing to deal with ones own irksome behaviours which naturally makes space for further appreciation of self which cannot help but flow out towards others.
Lovely expression Jeanette – and it is beautiful to see and feel when through our own appreciation for our selves, this emanates and spreads to those around us, so easily.
Yes Joel this is a great point to realise and it offers us a chance to heal something within ourselves, rather than keep it as an external irritation we feel towards another.
Yes, what irks us in others has to be in us – if not it would nothing have to respond on…. that’s an ouch. A good one that has to be appreciated : ). Every irk-situation is an offering to heal this inside hurt, which caused the reaction and to evolve from here.
And if we choose to see all that is there, even though this might confront us with the hurts that we are carrying with us, we will be able to finally look at their root causes and heal them.
Or Michael, if we do not commit to life and bring what we know is true, we attract what we put out. Then we get hurt by our own creation. It is much better to take the time to appreciate the little things and build what is true even if there is not so much to start with.
The perpetual mirror of life.
At times we choose to see only the reflection of our making through the lens of our perception, pictures and ideals yet we can count on a true reflection being shown to us from every angle of life regardless.
True Joel, what we see in others we have to equally have in ourselves, making them a great point of reflection.
Beautiful Marika…all of life is indeed a reflection of us in every way: from the microcosm of our lives – how we are and what is reflected back to us, to the macrocosm of humanity – how we are as a humanity and what is being reflected back to us all.
I agree Paula, all of life is indeed a reflection and sometimes the reflection can be exposing and even painful…. and then we have a choice to close our heart and not feel the pain, or to remain open, observe all there is to observe, without absorbing and then the magic happens as you begin to realise that you are fully equipped to deal with whatever is presented – and that the reflection is there to evolve you, to support you to allow more love.
Jacqmcfadden your words have touched me deeply – ‘magic happens as you begin to realise that you are fully equipped to deal with whatever is presented’.
Important point you make jacqmcfadden04 – “sometimes the reflection of life is exposing and even painful”, but if we are willing to accept the lesson and grow from it then we evolve, and the magic of God then confirms this.
Beautifully said Paula and jacqmcfadden04 as we can never truly escape the embrace of and the natural pull towards being and living the Love we all are. And all of the choices we make in surrendering to or resisting this Love are constantly reflected to us through our bodies, as an opportunity to develop and deepen our connection to the Love we are within, and are together.
I agree Carola, and love how you have expanded on it again. It just proves love has no limits – it deepens, it confirms, it exposes, its firm, it does not pander, and there is no sympathy, just a reflection of more there is to choose. Through each other we will rise together. We cannot do it alone because we are all one and the same, and the same as one.
‘ magic happens as you begin to realise that you are fully equipped to deal with whatever is presented – and that the reflection is there to evolve you, to support you to allow more love’. Thank you Jaqueline, there are times when something reflected back to me sends an ‘Ouch!’. Learning to stay with it and see what is being offered as a blessing, provides a foundation for me to be and give more love.
yes, I know that ‘ouch’ Kahinde. I’m learning to see these moments for what they are and appreciate the wisdom they bring rather than becoming lost in my reaction to them. Learning not to view event’s or situations as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ but simply as reflections has enabled me to observe and bring so much more understanding to myself and others.
Hello Marika and this is exactly what I also took from this blog, the power of appreciation. So often it feels like we go down another road and compare to each other. Appreciation is the way to go. On a side note I love the photo in this blog, the smile, colour and what it captures for me is exactly spot on for this blog and tells it’s own story.
I agree Raymond, this picture shows a story of a man that is living in appreciation and joy of himself. Having just spent a few minutes admiring this before reading your comment I found it perfect to see your comment. Appreciation is such a huge factor in this world for each of us.
Absolutely Amina and Ray. I too appreciate this blog very much and the natural tenderness of the man pictured is exquisite.
I absolutely agree, Raymond. Appreciation is the way forward and without appreciation of ourselves we cannot appreciate another.
And the photo speaks volumes and tells it’s own story.
Absolutely agree, Raymond, appreciation if so awesomely powerful. First we need to appreciate ourselves, and take this then out to others around us. A great way to encourage and increase brotherhood within our communities and eventually the world. Once we appreciate what everyone else can bring, what a reflection this can give to others. And I agree with you about the photo at the top of the blog, I love it, it so fits this blog as an example of a man one would appreciate, the love for everyone just exudes the man in the photo.
Appreciation is the antidote to comparison, comparison being the poison and appreciation being the medicine of love.
Well put Jo – simple equation! I love this: appreciation is the medicine of love.
So beautifully said Jo- I love it.
You are spot on Raymond. Appreciation is commonly overlooked and not honoured at all for what it can bring but I am realising the more we appreciate ourselves (and others) the more we can surrender and truly enjoy life in full.
I don’t ever remember being taught or talked to about appreciation as I grew up at home or in school. Appreciation was used in a way that we should appreciate what we have eg food when others are starving or was used in a way to be thankful about what another does for you. It was more about the doing in life and not the being and inner qualities another brings.
Now I know appreciation in its true meaning and how supportive it is in life – thanks to the teachings and presentations of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, Michael Benhayon and Teachers are Gold.
I agree Raymond, this photo captures a man in joy. It is a moment to appreciate. I think it was said earlier. If it is not in you to appreciate, then it is only a choice to express what is naturally there. I remember when I started to express the love that I felt, it was a release and it felt good. How much do we hold this back from each other? What are we all missing out on?
So true Marika, and to add that by being able to appreciate ourselves enables us to actually appreciate those around us. This shows us the power we have to change our lives simply by changing the relationship we have with our self.
Yes Kathleen, with true appreciation we can heal so much. If we forget that, and always choose to focus on what is ‘not perfect’ in others or within ourselves (which is easy to do), life can be very hard, and we miss out on so many moments where we can be joyful and loving, instead of cranky and angry. The choice is ours, every day, every moment.
Yes that is exactly how it is Esther – every choice is ours to make, and the consequence of each choice is our own responsibility too.
Dear Esther I love what you share in your powerful comment because for me it feels simply true. It is this simplicity what is so inspiring instead of all the hard work and complication we are normally chose in our lives. It is so much more fun to chose this wonderful “appreciation-thing” than trying to be perfect.
Yes exactly Kathleen, l’m discovering that appreciation is something we can choose to allow, but very few of us actually do. And when we do, it is often a source of discomfort for others around… and hence our predilection to cut ourselves or be cut down because we are ‘getting too big for our boots’ or too ‘full of ourselves’. There is such a horror of standing out, or ‘showing another up’ that we avoid appreciation like it’s the plague.
This is a great comment Jenny.
I recall from very young, a message abounding from all directions to not love yourself or be full of yourself – it became commonplace to cut another down who was shining and bright and to undermine, ridicule and alienate another to the point of shrinking and silence.
When i consider this against the potential of Loving and supporting each other and deeply appreciating ourselves, such a situation could never take hold for we would each hold the other in the Love we are and appreciate the inspiration and reflection on offer.
So true Kathleen, appreciation for ourselves does change the relationship we have with self, to a deeper and more loving way of being. And this in turn enables us to appreciate others – which is also life changing for them as you can see the effect it has when one is able to receive appreciation, it lights up their whole being.
Love that Marika, seeing what we appreciate in others as qualities we also share and possess puts a whole new spin on things. it makes you stop and appreciate that every interaction and every moment is an opportunity to connect to yourself and others and that there is always a chance to bring more of you into life.
Marika, what an awesome point! In appreciating and loving men as I do with their gorgeous care, strength and tenderness confirms that I have these qualities too and that is why I love men so, so much because they reflect these qualities back to me and remind me of where I come from and who I naturally am.
So true Marika, the more we appreciate ourselves the more we appreciate others. When we let go of the layers of protection love is there to be expressed in full. Love doesn’t know gender.
Yes Rachel “the more we appreciate ourselves the more we appreciate others”. One thing that came to me when I read this was we have to accept how uniquely divine precious we are. We are each one of a kind! That’s why it is really silly to compare. You do it in a way no one else does! That understanding for yourself can only be given to you by you which is another form of appreciation.
This is true Rik. It is so silly to compare. Recently I have noticed that my relationships and connections with others has generally deepened. When I appreciated this I also appreciated that it is because my level of stillness, quality and relationship with myself has deepened through my daily supportive choices.
The power of appreciation cannot be underestimated.
I agree. It is a key element to us just being all the love we are and our unity as a whole.
So true Marika.
The deeper we appreciate ourselves in every way the deeper the appreciation we have for others.
Absolutely, The detail and the perception is so beautifully felt. I would know reading this Johanna, that you too have these most beautiful qualities in you as well.
We definitely have to appreciate ourselves first before we can appreciate others. It is indeed amazing how everything is coming back to us although it seems it has to do with others. We just have to be open and reading what life is telling us all the time…
Well said Marika, I was feeling the same thing and reflecting on how much I appreciate others as my own appreciation of myself deepens.
A mirror is a perfect analogy. There is a lot that appreciation unfolds for us – what we see in others we see in ourselves and vice versa. Appreciation has also allowed me to undo beliefs and ideals that I have grown up with and just simply accepted or not even questioned. For example being around subliminal put downs towards men from others added to the way I treated men along with other things – however it was the appreciation, feeling it, seeing it that allowed me to realise that my perception and behaviour was not true and then let go of it because it no longer belonged.