An article by Adam Warburton ‘Sport, Competition and Fiery Debate’, with the comments and the associated discussion, have got me reflecting on other life experiences with sport, competition and any team events, and what else may be really going on beyond the surface level cheering crowds and uniforms.
What is it we crave and seek in the apparent unity of a sporting team, and is it really being delivered?
Whilst I was never really into sport, as participant or spectator, I had an interesting brush with premier league soccer in the UK. I lived for a time in a northern English city, once built around the cotton industry but now pretty deprived; a hardened and miserable place with the unenviable title of least recommended city to visit in the Lonely Planet, and across a variety of studies, also rated as having one of the lowest life satisfaction rates of the British Isles, as well as lowest average ratings for self-worth and higher misery ratings and associated suicide rates.
Even the residents, (many of whom are dear friends I remain in contact with today) were just as scathing about the city, prospects and quality of life, the saying “It’s Grim up north” was a lived daily reality for the majority – there were hearts of gold under it all, but life was hard, and people lived hard, with whole suburbs of ‘no go zones’ for the police.
My once wealthy ancestors had in the past been huge sponsors of the local premier league soccer in this city – and I’d often wondered why, what was the point? There was the obvious (although empty) gesture of being seen as ‘successful’ and showing off one’s status, but I had been told there was a belief in an old school benevolence – to ‘give back’ to the city that contributed to the wealth. I still didn’t get it as I wondered what a soccer team did for a city.
Then while I lived there, the team found a new uber-wealthy sponsor who poured money and resources into buying the best coach, best players etc., and again the team rose to the top of the league.
To give you a taste of the usual mood in this town, I remember my time there in my late teens. Wide eyed and 16 years old, fresh out of small town rural Australia, I walked past a woman in the street and smiled at her; she looked at me in bemusement with hardened disgust. “What the bloody ‘ell are you smilin’ at,” was her embittered response. This wasn’t an isolated incident, I soon learnt that spontaneous displays of joy were frowned upon in this place… but not so when sport was involved.
After the injection of cash from the club’s new patrons and the club’s subsequent win, this miserable town, where worth-less-ness was ingrained and multi-generational, transformed into a hub of celebration and partying on the streets.
People were more open and actually spoke to each other. There was a rare and tangible ‘pride’ and a sense of belonging in the populace; there was an appearance of ‘unity’ between different cultures, different classes, even peoples’ postures were more upright and gait more lively.
You might hold this up and say “that’s what sport offers, that’s the justification for my ancestors pouring resources into the club,” or even “there’s the value, self-esteem and (confected) joy for a downtrodden community.”
…. BUT (and it’s a huge but!), as it was gained through external circumstances or events (not internally reconnected to) and but a mere isolated display of unity, it was short-lived. Very short-lived indeed.
As soon as the elation of the premiership win was over, it was back to business as usual – shut down abject misery, possibly worse than before in reaction to the loss of the ‘high’.
It did not reconnect people to their own real worth, it distracted them from missing it for a short time.
So my revelation from reading Adam’s article, the comments and reflecting further, has been that not only does the competitiveness in sport and elsewhere in our society set us up from young to make us think our worth is external, not only does it divide us – country against country, city against city, suburb against suburb, ‘us’ against ‘them’, me versus you and ultimately me against myself – whilst tricking us into a false unity, it also provides an effective distraction from that which we are missing to begin with (the true unity we deeply crave) through entering into the whole ‘proving ourselves externally’ farce – what a doozy!!
I really appreciate the opportunity to reflect on this subject and to ‘real-eyes’ that it is the true connection that we are missing – between each other and within ourselves – and that this connection can never be made or maintained through ‘limited unity’ such that we find in competitive sport or any kind of triumph over another.
By Kate Burns, BA (Hons), Bellingen, Australia
Further Reading:
Exercise – it doesn’t need to be hard work
My Turnaround from Competitive Running to Connection with Me
Competitive sports: the pursuit of emptiness
470 Comments
True change comes from within and not from what someone else is doing.
Underneath the hard exterior is a heart of Gold, we all have this within us a heart of gold but it gets covered up because we live in a society that does not want to admit just how sensitive we are. We have turned or made sensitivity into a negative attribute when actually we cannot stop feeling on a very deep level we just block our awareness and so life is very dull.
What a great observation Kate, as so many of us are caught up in the internal web of life and the mundane-ness it will deliver, and when we re-connect to our essences, inner-hearts / Soul our life does open to a new way of being again as we return to being Joy-full in every aspect of life.
It really is a case of following the crowd, not wanting to stand out, not wanting to feel whats true that we end up following a sporting team.
This reminds me of the old saying ‘winners are grinners’ and I shudder to think why on earth does it make any difference as we all used to be in elation over some contrived visualisation we would have of the ‘grass being greener!’ and forget about living life to the full in the present or in-conscious-presence and the non-emotional joyous feeling that you were sharing Kate that was shunned.
It is true connection we crave, with ourselves, and then with others, ‘it is the true connection that we are missing – between each other and within ourselves’.
There is no joy in sport even when we win! We feel elated but it is exactly that – a false and pretend temporary elation at the expense of our true selves and that of another from the emptiness we are feeling. Understand this and sport no longer becomes a part of our lives.
Sales is also very much tarred with the same brush in that you are only seen as good as your last sale. You are celebrated for an instant … great sale, what’s next? If you don’t make the sales then your letting the team down. In my experience there is no value to what you bring or contribute to the company money is the only interest. If we were to stop and feel into that it hurts to know that actually you are not valued as a person you are only valued for the money you make the company. This is the shallowness of the life we say we want.
This happens at times like Christmas as well. If we haven’t got a connection with ourselves on the inside we crave/demand/need it to come from the outside in. That is why when we have an outsourced connecter people come together but as soon as it’s gone there’s no inner connection to keep that unity amongst people going.
Sport can be a safe-seeming form of brotherhood. It is only partial brotherhood but it can be a springboard for true brotherhood.
The difference between the so-called fiery debate of parliament, and the truly Pythagorean use of expression in groups to lift the collective bar of awareness and energetic expression are diametrically opposite.
It’s interesting that after the win was over then people returned to their usual grumpy selves, possibly saddened inside because the offer of connection wasn’t really lived. Reading this reminded me of Christmas and how people are more open to being friendly but this doesn’t last year round. January is usually a mark of the winter blues, at least in the UK I’ve noticed.
Competition sets one against another and there are always more losers than winners and the ‘winner’ is only at the top of the pile until someone knocks them off.
Competition never works, its very basis is to divide us, ‘ country against country, city against city, suburb against suburb, ‘us’ against ‘them’, me versus you and ultimately me against myself’, whereas in reality we are all connected, we are all one.
Spot on Lorraine.
This can be found in any hobby or interest that we share with another. I remember it was huge in video gaming as that want for connection was strong, seemingly satisfied but gone like the wind the moment one of us stopped gaming.
I agree with you Kate that the external high only leaves people more despondent when it is over, it gives them a deeper feeling of missing something, which of course is themselves. What a set up we live in.
Yes, very true and often we use the emptiness to try again until we have had enough of the emptiness and stop.
People in self-imposed downtrodden places would lighten up if a few more smiling faces moved among them and met them with a smile for who they are.
When we feel truly connected with ourselves and with one another there would be no need for sport. Lets get real competition does not unite people it only distracts us from our discontent with not being connected.
We band together with common themes and huddle around them like camp fires – thinking this is a good life. Yet all the time we feel the emptiness from knowing these shared interests are not right. Dig a little deeper into these teams, sports and clubs and you will find they are all separated – from their heart. And so no true togetherness is there as we can see from the horrible way ‘fans’ argue and fight.
I definitely found this in video game ‘fandoms’ the way we treated each other was anything but unity and harmony. Even if playing on the same team against another we were divided.
“What is it we crave and seek in the apparent unity of a sporting team, and is it really being delivered?” Ah the old adage of connection which is key, we all want it but how often do we settle for what is not that.
A great reflection Kate – How everyone needs to hear / read it to stop the struggle, competition, misery and abuse.
” That not only does the competitiveness in sport and elsewhere in our society set us up from young to make us think our worth is external, not only does it divide us ”
This is so very true for people are called upon at an early age to prove themselves and this therefore gives them the impression that they are not enough. But humorously, everyone of us was enough as a baby we were never called upon to prove ourselves.
It is a very great point you share as it so often that we engage in sport seeking camaraderie, yet the opposite is being delivered as you have shown through what you have shared. The fact is that we already are innately connected on a much deeper and truer level, one that we cannot escape, through the light of our Souls, that is our love. No games or competition needed only the willingness to go there and embrace and express what is truly already there in our hearts.
There is never any truth to find in competition.
Indeed it is adding to the separation between groups, people. To feel good when the other feels bad and even to celebrate that is not our way to brotherhood and harmony which is very needed.
Yes we miss true connection with ourselves and with others, and fail miserably by trying to get it with these sporting events, ‘this connection can never be made or maintained through ‘limited unity’ such that we find in competitive sport or any kind of triumph over another.’
” triumph over another. ”
No matter what ” sport ” it is ,the outcome will always be as above. But if there is triumph then there must be a looser. Anything build on the making of a looser will always be to the detriment of society and the human ” race “.
Do we rely on the outside world to give us our ‘peaks’ and troughs, or do we live in a way that builds a consistent love of life and ALL it has to offer/teach us?
What really is extraordinary is when a whole country becomes identified with a certain team, and with that certain team winning consistently… It all becomes interwoven,National identity, individual identification, sporting achievement, in a bizarre tapestry that takes on the appearance of connection but is anything but.
Yes, these sporting events are a distraction, there is no true connection, ‘It did not reconnect people to their own real worth, it distracted them from missing it for a short time.’
It is so often a source of conversation between people too, when they struggle to connect the focus becomes on something external. Growing up in Australia most of the conversations with my Dad and Uncles or between the men at family gatherings centred around sport and there was little more connection than this. It is sad because these were gorgeous men in my life yet we missed out of this because who they are wasn’t expressed, the focus was more on the male roles they needed to play.
Misery is such a brilliant word for describing a state of mind or a way of living, as to have a miserable existence is to truly live without joy.