While I was standing in the local tool shop today, I shared with the lovely men working there that I needed help fixing some things in my house. I started talking to the man next to me and he offered to help me. Just two minutes later we were in my house, sharing time and chatting about life while he was drilling holes in my wall to hang a mirror. At some point he shared that he was surprised that he was telling all these things about his personal life to a stranger.
I had to go back to the shop to borrow an electric screwdriver and when I got back, I shared with him that his words had stayed with me.
“You know what,” I said, “For me there is no such thing as strangers. I want to be open and be myself with everybody, even if I have just met them. I don’t feel there should be a difference. If there is then I ask myself, and feel, what I am projecting onto that other person that I am not being as open with.”
I pondered on this a little bit more during my day.
Why do we see people as strangers and what kind of effect does this have on our ability to connect with each other? Even the word ‘stranger’ carries a distance in it, where it feels strange, or even odd, that I could not allow myself to be fully open with that person, just because I have never met them before.
When we meet somebody for the first time, at times we have this tendency to hold back, to be reserved, maybe to judge the other by his or her appearance, how he/she acts or behaves and how he/she responds to us. Do we protect ourselves because we don’t know the other person? For me as a woman, I might hold back with a man that I have never met before and who is in my house, helping me hang up my mirror on the wall.
I chose to not hold back because it felt lovely to have this man in my house. Does this mean that I would invite anybody into my house? No, it doesn’t, because that wouldn’t be honouring of myself. The thing is I felt a connection and trust with the man at the shop from the first moment I met him and therefore I did not see him as a stranger.
For me there is no such thing as strangers, as we are all connected. Everybody is equal, regardless of where we come from, what we do, or the way we look. We are all one and the same within, each one of us, with unique qualities and talents. We all make different choices, yes, and we may live a thousand miles apart, but to me we are all one big family.
Knowing this, with every person I meet I can make the choice to meet them as loved family members or if I do hold back and find myself judging or thinking that I cannot say this or that or be this or that, then I know that I have allowed in the false idea of the stranger, the idea that I have to be different with certain people and that I cannot be open and loving with those that I meet for the first time.
It feels very freeing to be in life like this and to share myself and my love with everyone.
Now my mirror and paintings are hanging on the wall and it feels wonderful. Not only because they are finally hanging, but also because I was open to connecting and had invited someone into my home who helped me a great deal with something I could never have done on my own.
Taking the ‘old’ belief of the ‘stranger’ out of my life more and more, allows me to be more open, spontaneous, joyful and deeply connected with everybody and this feels great. I am now connecting more to all of humanity – I see the whole of humanity as my family! GREAT!
Every day I meet new people, chat with somebody on the street, in a shop, in the gym, at work or in the tram, say hello to people in the park, make eye contact, ask the supermarket assistant how she is doing, ask my neighbour for support when needed, give a compliment to somebody or start a conversation. I feel more connected with all those around me, close by and far away.
This blog is inspired by Universal Medicine and all those gorgeous people out there in the world that I meet every day.
By Mariette Reineke, Holland
Further Reading:
The simplicity of true intimacy
Heaven’s Joy – Deep Connection
A Feeling of Connection
827 Comments
I often feel blessed to make beautiful connections with people the first time I meet them. I even meet people who are more open, trusting and willing to deeply connect than those I work with with everyday.
The more open we are with people we meet the more friendships we have.
I am appreciating more and more my Hello, Good Morning, etc as I journey throughout my day. It is so grand to acknowledge another fellow human being, all growing in our awareness of love and brotherhood with all.
“For me there is no such thing as strangers. I want to be open and be myself with everybody, even if I have just met them. I don’t feel there should be a difference. If there is then I ask myself, and feel, what I am projecting onto that other person that I am not being as open with.” It’s a good question Mariette, that we may have a belief or a previous experience getting in the way of being our open and loving selves unconditionally with people.
As we eliminate those patterns we have around what other bring we can feel from our essences that we are setting a standard of trust that is based on the decency and respect we show others and this is felt by others through our reflection and is returned as you have shared Mariette.
What I love about about meeting strangers is that its a perfect opportunity to connect on a deeper level, a connection that confirms we are so much more than our roles it is confirmation that we are all universal.
There are never really any strangers, only people who pretend to not know the lives they and everyone else live.
No one is a stranger when we open up our hearts to each other.
Thank you for sharing your example of connecting to another Mariette, how natural and enjoyable that is.
Yesterday, I went for a walk and as I was coming out of the drive a family was walking past me at the point I came out. There was a lovely openness and I chatted with the mum as we walked up the road together. It felt like we knew each other well and were just having a catch up. It felt sweet and normal. This is how it could be with everyone.
The word “stranger” is an interesting one… a stranger is only a stranger or not known when the element and quality of love isn’t there… because immediately when there is love there’s also the warmth of openness that closes what we would call any strangeness. In love is carried a knowingness.
Mariette, I just love your openness. Its very inspiring. Meeting people in this way offers them permission to be themselves and so there is an ease in which they feel they can open up to another, even if they have only just met.
Very young children are taught ‘stranger danger’ which puts up barriers between people instead of teaching them to discern the energy they feel in anyone they meet.
Yes, it is important for us to discern the energy of the person, as Mariette did, ‘The thing is I felt a connection and trust with the man at the shop from the first moment I met him and therefore I did not see him as a stranger.’
When you see the word – stranger – it seems to carry the connotation that even though it is someone you have never met, you’d better be careful just in case they are not someone who you actually want to get to know or someone a little weird, or unusual. But as you have beautifully shared, there are no strangers, just another wonderful member of our human family who you have yet to connect with, and once you do you may be delightfully surprised.