While I was standing in the local tool shop today, I shared with the lovely men working there that I needed help fixing some things in my house. I started talking to the man next to me and he offered to help me. Just two minutes later we were in my house, sharing time and chatting about life while he was drilling holes in my wall to hang a mirror. At some point he shared that he was surprised that he was telling all these things about his personal life to a stranger.
I had to go back to the shop to borrow an electric screwdriver and when I got back, I shared with him that his words had stayed with me.
“You know what,” I said, “For me there is no such thing as strangers. I want to be open and be myself with everybody, even if I have just met them. I don’t feel there should be a difference. If there is then I ask myself, and feel, what I am projecting onto that other person that I am not being as open with.”
I pondered on this a little bit more during my day.
Why do we see people as strangers and what kind of effect does this have on our ability to connect with each other? Even the word ‘stranger’ carries a distance in it, where it feels strange, or even odd, that I could not allow myself to be fully open with that person, just because I have never met them before.
When we meet somebody for the first time, at times we have this tendency to hold back, to be reserved, maybe to judge the other by his or her appearance, how he/she acts or behaves and how he/she responds to us. Do we protect ourselves because we don’t know the other person? For me as a woman, I might hold back with a man that I have never met before and who is in my house, helping me hang up my mirror on the wall.
I chose to not hold back because it felt lovely to have this man in my house. Does this mean that I would invite anybody into my house? No, it doesn’t, because that wouldn’t be honouring of myself. The thing is I felt a connection and trust with the man at the shop from the first moment I met him and therefore I did not see him as a stranger.
For me there is no such thing as strangers, as we are all connected. Everybody is equal, regardless of where we come from, what we do, or the way we look. We are all one and the same within, each one of us, with unique qualities and talents. We all make different choices, yes, and we may live a thousand miles apart, but to me we are all one big family.
Knowing this, with every person I meet I can make the choice to meet them as loved family members or if I do hold back and find myself judging or thinking that I cannot say this or that or be this or that, then I know that I have allowed in the false idea of the stranger, the idea that I have to be different with certain people and that I cannot be open and loving with those that I meet for the first time.
It feels very freeing to be in life like this and to share myself and my love with everyone.
Now my mirror and paintings are hanging on the wall and it feels wonderful. Not only because they are finally hanging, but also because I was open to connecting and had invited someone into my home who helped me a great deal with something I could never have done on my own.
Taking the ‘old’ belief of the ‘stranger’ out of my life more and more, allows me to be more open, spontaneous, joyful and deeply connected with everybody and this feels great. I am now connecting more to all of humanity – I see the whole of humanity as my family! GREAT!
Every day I meet new people, chat with somebody on the street, in a shop, in the gym, at work or in the tram, say hello to people in the park, make eye contact, ask the supermarket assistant how she is doing, ask my neighbour for support when needed, give a compliment to somebody or start a conversation. I feel more connected with all those around me, close by and far away.
This blog is inspired by Universal Medicine and all those gorgeous people out there in the world that I meet every day.
By Mariette Reineke, Holland
Further Reading:
The simplicity of true intimacy
Heaven’s Joy – Deep Connection
A Feeling of Connection
I often feel blessed to make beautiful connections with people the first time I meet them. I even meet people who are more open, trusting and willing to deeply connect than those I work with with everyday.
The more open we are with people we meet the more friendships we have.
I am appreciating more and more my Hello, Good Morning, etc as I journey throughout my day. It is so grand to acknowledge another fellow human being, all growing in our awareness of love and brotherhood with all.
“For me there is no such thing as strangers. I want to be open and be myself with everybody, even if I have just met them. I don’t feel there should be a difference. If there is then I ask myself, and feel, what I am projecting onto that other person that I am not being as open with.” It’s a good question Mariette, that we may have a belief or a previous experience getting in the way of being our open and loving selves unconditionally with people.
As we eliminate those patterns we have around what other bring we can feel from our essences that we are setting a standard of trust that is based on the decency and respect we show others and this is felt by others through our reflection and is returned as you have shared Mariette.
What I love about about meeting strangers is that its a perfect opportunity to connect on a deeper level, a connection that confirms we are so much more than our roles it is confirmation that we are all universal.
There are never really any strangers, only people who pretend to not know the lives they and everyone else live.
No one is a stranger when we open up our hearts to each other.
Thank you for sharing your example of connecting to another Mariette, how natural and enjoyable that is.
Yesterday, I went for a walk and as I was coming out of the drive a family was walking past me at the point I came out. There was a lovely openness and I chatted with the mum as we walked up the road together. It felt like we knew each other well and were just having a catch up. It felt sweet and normal. This is how it could be with everyone.
The word “stranger” is an interesting one… a stranger is only a stranger or not known when the element and quality of love isn’t there… because immediately when there is love there’s also the warmth of openness that closes what we would call any strangeness. In love is carried a knowingness.
Mariette, I just love your openness. Its very inspiring. Meeting people in this way offers them permission to be themselves and so there is an ease in which they feel they can open up to another, even if they have only just met.
Very young children are taught ‘stranger danger’ which puts up barriers between people instead of teaching them to discern the energy they feel in anyone they meet.
Yes, it is important for us to discern the energy of the person, as Mariette did, ‘The thing is I felt a connection and trust with the man at the shop from the first moment I met him and therefore I did not see him as a stranger.’
When you see the word – stranger – it seems to carry the connotation that even though it is someone you have never met, you’d better be careful just in case they are not someone who you actually want to get to know or someone a little weird, or unusual. But as you have beautifully shared, there are no strangers, just another wonderful member of our human family who you have yet to connect with, and once you do you may be delightfully surprised.
I’ve often noticed this- the equality and the connection with others where ‘strangers’ feel like close friends, when travelling, but now I have this feeling more often in my day to day, too. At work, on the train, in shops.. every moment holds the potential for connection, and the depth of that depends on how connected we’re feeling with ourselves.
Absolutely agree, every moment holds the potential for connection, and ‘the depth of that depends on how connected we’re feeling with ourselves.’
In and with love there are no strangers. We can however be strangers to love, and in this disconnection we have lost sense of our inter-connectivity we innately share with each other and the awareness of the truth that at our core we are all one and the same, unified by the love we are in essence.
I had a beautiful role model in my father as to the fact that there is ‘no such as strangers” for wherever we went it wouldn’t take long before he was talking to someone that I didn’t know and it usually turned out that up to that moment he didn’t know them either. He had such an easy and affable way about him and from treating everyone as an equal the reflection he shone to others always had them smiling in a very short space of time. It was so inspiring to see and to feel and so it naturally became a normal in my life too.
Mariette I enjoyed reading about you and your life in your bio – very cute! Great to read about your ability to let people in, to view everyone as family and be your same open self with all. It’s a simple way to be because we don’t change ourselves at all, but allow the same openness with everyone and share ourselves in full.
I totally know what you are talking about Mariette, when you meet someone and you have an instant connection with them. In the past I would have said I have it stronger with some people and not with others. I have come to realise that this is not actually true. I feel the connection with the person, looking past what they present to me and actually looking behind to see the true beauty that is equal to all those around us.
Since attending Universal Medicine presentations and workshops I am much less protected and now chat with lots of ‘strangers’. I was in London last week and had to take a taxi. Chatting with the cab driver we arrived eventually at what I thought was the house number on the correct road, but it wasn’t -(my mistake.) Luckily the road I needed was only a few streets away and he offered to take me there without charge. He hadn’t wanted to leave me at the wrong place as I was nearly late for an appointment. I felt very grateful and of course gave a large tip, which he said he didn’t want…… Connecting with people is not only fun but can be very useful!!
I love the simple hello that comes with eye contact with another person, in that moment so much is exchanged, there is a warmth joy and a knowingness that we are part of each other as one humanity.
Sometimes meeting with strangers can make my day, when we meet someone new we are seeing another reflection of God.
When we are open, this then gets reflected back to us by how people relate to us. Recently, I was on the tube, and five people unrelated to each other got on and off the tube after having started a conversation with me. It was amazing to have this occur because people don’t speak on the tube as a rule. It’s a very unnatural environment and it feels like the level of humanities checking out is amplified in those moments. You cannot help but notice.
A great marker for me of being open is do I allow myself eye contact with another. Not a staring competition but if I look my customers in the eyes or people I pass on the street it tells me where I am open and/or not.
Thank you Mariette, that is very inspirational. To feel that you as you openly meet everyone as your equal brother and sister. I love that. I am going to pay attention to this in my life.
When we see another in equalness and offer them this, our movements af fears and beliefs fall by the wayside.
When I read this, the words ‘stranger/danger’ came to mind and I don’t know if this was a campaign in Europe but it certainly was (and is) in Australia. It is designed for children to be wary of strangers, really aimed at those that do harm to them. Now I can totally understand the intention behind these campaigns, but imagine a campaign like you have shared here Mariette. One where we stay open to ‘strangers’ and are ourselves with, and from there we can feel what is right/true/safe and what is not. From here, we are taught to discern in every moment as to what feels right/safe for us, as you say you would not have let anyone into your house but there was an openness and trust with that man.
That would indeed be a wonderful campaign and a reflection for all of us, so not only children, that we start to listen and trust what we feel. If we learn to be weary of strangers, we build a distrust and an anxiety around people, which stops us from being open. Our body knows if a certain person has bad intentions. But lets face it, most people don’t have bad intentions.
It feels more transpiring to love and connect to someone you have not met before. I love the opportunity to keep letting them in and to deeply connect to their life bringing more understanding of myself and how it is I need to uniquely express to each one (of my family).
Every time you look in your mirror you will feel the reflection of the relationship you formed with the person you invited into your life, knowing that he too may feel inspired to be open with others.
We are so much more connected to one another than our personal and commonly held ideals and beliefs want to make us to belief.
The more open and relaxed I am, the more people who I don’t know open up to me. It makes sense… if my body language is closed it’s not going to invite an openness in another, more likely they will feel my shut-down-ness and want to go into protection. The more open I am, the more it allows another to feel safe to be themselves and open up too.
Absolutely, we are all connected, ‘there is no such thing as strangers, as we are all connected. Everybody is equal, regardless of where we come from, what we do, or the way we look.’
To me it is interesting to explore the meaning of the word stranger and what it means if we stick this to people. To me, when I ponder a little deeper on this word if feels to me that a stranger could be an extraterrestrial being or something of that like but surely not from the same like I am from. So when I cal someone a stranger I actually say ‘you are not like me’ and that is the evil I can feel in this word as it keeps us separated form the oneness in which we as human beings are all naturally and deeply connected.
The thing that I am noticing about openness, is how it actually helps me to discern, which is enormously helpful in daily life.
When we are open, people open up to us.
Yes, I experience that as well. The more open I am, the more open others are. And if they are not, then that’s fine too. There is always a reason, so that just asks from us to be more understanding.
When I look at the picture attached to this blog, I feel invited through your eyes and held in no judgement- there is a lightness and playfulness which I love . Truly beautiful to feel.
I love your playfulness and openness towards life and people!! I absolutely relate to what you are saying – I love these moments in daily life and you are inspiring me get rid of any “stranger” attitude, if I have one. I will observe myself from now on even deeper 🙂
I know when I am on track when I meet strangers who I instantly connect with, it may just be a smile or a simple hello, these powerful yet simple connections remind us we are from something very grand.
Yesterday I was standing in a packed tube carriage during rush hour. I had nothing to hold onto as I couldn’t access a rail… we were so wedged together that I couldn’t have fallen as there was no space to fall into. The person to each side of me and front and back was propping me up. Bodies were in full contact! I had never experienced anything quite like it. People were forcing themselves into the carriage from each new station platform until there was no more room to push on. Everyone remained silent and calm… no one was talking apart from the occasional person who said ‘this is my stop I need to get off’. It was in this bizarre situation that I asked the person who was next to me, (fortunately as short as me so on my eye line) if this was normal for London rush hour? We struck up a conversation and a third person joined in. There was a beauty in connecting with others in this situation and they did not in the least feel like strangers. I felt that in our communication others around us relaxed… there was a connection for all in it.
Everyone longs for connection- your situation proofs this fact. And even if someone does not respond to an open conversation, we did not hold ourselves back – being open like this reflects the fact, that we are open with ourselves. If it is not met, than it doesn´t matter, as we met us before . If it gets met, amazing expansion and a true sense of connection appears like in your beautiful case.
These days it is joyful to meet new people and have the opportunity to connect with them and with this, the feeling of people being strangers to us or different than our family members does not exist.
When we are connected to our inner essence it is so easy to connect to others that we have not met before, knowing that we are part of one human family, A simple hello where our eyes met can be a truly joyful experience.
Thank you Sandra for so honestly sharing your experience, I can relate to this guardedness withdrawal and isolation, I have lived this way for much of my life, I am slowly lowering the barriers down and feeling more of the real me come out, but just the other day I felt myself go into that old pattern, the standing back from others like someone looking in but not participating, I felt very separate, your writing has given me incites to ponder on as to why I would go back into that old energy.
When we truly connect to another’s quality with no judgment for their actions or choices, we recognize that that which lives within them is a reflection of ourselves for we are all the same when we connect to love.
How liberating it is to walk down a street and not consider anyone we see to be a stranger, but simply someone we have not yet met. To walk in this heart open way comes from truly knowing who we are and our place in this world and that there is actually no need to protect ourselves from anyone else as they are all part of our one big family; humanity.
I know exactly what you are saying Mariette as sometimes you meet someone and you feel like you have known them for ages – the quality of connection between you both feels so strong and solid and well worth appreciating.
Often I go to my local park and find myself chatting to people I have never met before, and at times there is a feeling like I already know the person and could chat forever, as if meeting an old friend. These meetings are so joyful and then stay with me all day.
Mariette, this is a great question; ‘Why do we see people as strangers and what kind of effect does this have on our ability to connect with each other? Even the word ‘stranger’ carries a distance in it’, I have noticed how I can be different with different people, depending on whether I know them, whether I like them, I can feel that there can be judgment there and so this means I can hold myself back and not be open and loving with them, this constant adjusting does not feel natural. It feels natural and very lovely to be light, open, transparent with everybody, I love this.
I have heard many times people tell children to never speak to strangers and when I ponder on this a bit more, I could feel how much this is giving mixed messages to children and I feel it is a message based on fear and protection. Perhaps we may feel differently about talking to strangers if we taught our children to discern and trust what they feel.
Sometimes a connection with a stranger makes my day. How confirming it is when we meet another and that true connection is felt – I love this.
“For me there is no such thing as strangers, as we are all connected. Everybody is equal, regardless of where we come from, what we do, or the way we look.” Beautifully said Mariette. When understood in this way, the notion of a stranger seems a pretty crazy one.
The word stranger is a word covering up the lack of connection in the first place. It is made normal to see a stranger as a stranger rather than just another equal and beautiful human being just like us or anyone we know.
It is so true Mariette that when we really look at it there can never be any strangers amongst us. For within the heart of every man, woman and child resides the divine quality of love, which is who we all are in essence. It is only through our disconnection from this love that we feel ‘estranged’ and live in separation to love. It is from here that the concept of ‘strangers’ is borne, a false impression which does not represent the truth of us all.
It takes just a moment to truly connect with someone who I have not met before and in that moment, it feels like that I have known that person always!
Just recently I too was in a tool shop and a man and his wife offered me help as the shop didn’t have what I needed. This relationship has deepened as he has helped me fix something in my home that no local plumber etc could sort. So what could have been an expensive replacement of a big item has now been solved by this man, who had lived as an engineer in Africa – where you couldn’t just go to a shop to replace things, but had to tinker and find a way to mend stuff. A beautiful chance meeting!
I know not many people would invite a man into their home they just met at the shop for many reasons. I feel the crimes we hear on the news and because of the protected way we live as a society we tend to not trust ‘strangers’. We have on a large scale allowed mistrust into our lives and have made shutting people out the norm. But what you’ve shared Mariette is that we can trust our feelings and our connection with people.
Recently I met a lovely gentle man and his daughter, and although we have only met on the street three times now there was an openness with regards to how his daughter was communicating with us. Then all of a sudden he explained his life and how he ended up in the situation he now found himself in. Whilst he was speaking it was as if time stood still, and he was being held in that moment to express and heal. This proved to me that we do not have to do anything, just be ourselves and listen.
What a beautiful reflection of the light that you bring to the world Mariette
This raises a lot of questions for me to look at, as I definitely do not treat everyone the same and not like family if they are strangers, sometimes I do but mostly not. But what I have noticed recently is because I am willing to look at how I am living and the choices I am making when I am open and unprotected with someone they often are very honest, for example at the checkout yesterday I asked the man at the till how he was and he said fine, then paused and said he was really tired and that he had woken too early. I loved how honest he was and how willing he was to share this with me. There is so much more depth to our living that we can go to.
I find when I identify people as being a certain way for instance a family member or a stranger then I can limit or allow more of me to come out depending on how i have identified them which blocks not only my natural expression to be honest and transparent with everyone but it also holds the other person in a holding pattern too. Loosing the identities and or picture of the people we are with makes everyone equal and then we can express freely with all we come into contact with. Today I needed to have a blood test and even though the nurse who was assisting seemed to be in a rush as there was a lot of patients waiting. I calmly asked her how she was and that I was a little scared about getting a blood test, her whole demeanour changed from one of rush to one of complete warmth and care. We had a lovely conversation about her son and her day and it just shows we can connect with everyone when we are connected to ourselves first, without the images or placing people in an identity box that cuts the natural joy of interaction with others.
Yes we are all connected and in essence equal, therefore no strangers. How this is lived out in our world today is a challenge for each and every one of us. What you have shared in this blog Mariette is great example and inspiration of how to truly connect, with love, truth and acceptance.
This is a great blog to re read Mariette. I too would like to be as brave as yourself to allow a person into my home who I would have called a “stranger” I totally see where you are coming from and I agree there can be no strangers in this world if we are all one and equal in the eyes of God.
I love that the more we open to love within, we open to the love of others, as is the same with trust.
Very true Kim, I have found the more trusting, loving and open I am with myself, the more I am like this with others. I have met a lot of people who outright say they don’t trust people. What I realise is that if we haven’t let go of our old hurts, our holding on to hurts tend to distort our view of life and our relationship with people.
This article has made me ponder on my own choice to be open and loving in my life, it has also revealed to me that there are areas where I choose to be reserved and to hold back from fully allowing myself to be seen and to share my love unashamedly. Thank you Mariette, your words are an inspiration to continue to live with an open heart and being honest as to where there is a holding back of the natural beauty and tenderness that I hold within.
I was chatting with a friend just two days ago and we shared the same understanding as you have. We are not really alone if we are open to letting people in, asking for support where needed or simply taking a moment to meet someone with our loveliness and share the openness of our eyes and our hearts.
Beautifully said Mariette. We are not strangers to each other, but it is strange that we think we are.
What a beautiful reflection and appreciation of the joy we get when connecting to others and by building a deeper connection with our own relationship with our selves we become so much more open and loving with everyone and begin to live the oneness of who we truly are.
Beautiful Mariette. It does feel so natural when you meet someone for the first time yet something about them feels age old. I find this happens with children a lot, possibly because they are less guarded and so the connection is easier to make.
There can only be strangers in your life if you are a stranger for yourself. In connecting to oneself and in the learning who you are, you can recognise that you are completely equal to all others and consequently the word stranger can be taken out of our vocabulary.
Reading this I could feel the protection that we put on and take off all day long. How tiring! Why not just leave it off? Maybe it’s uncomfortable to leave it off as we are so used the feeling of having it on, but if we really tune into how it feels to have it on, that’s mighty uncomfortable.
When we truly meet another, it is a reflection of the divine we see.
What a gorgeous story of openness, trust and connecting with people. I really appreciate what you have presented here, that being there are no strangers; everyone is treated with respect, love and equality.
It is in trusting what we feel and discern from there that we can open up and let others in, when connected to our inner heart we know we are all connected by love at our very core, when the heart leads the way there are no strangers, for we are all family.
I agree that “the word ‘stranger’ carries a distance in it” as if there is already a wall built between you and the other person, just in case you need to hide behind it. I was fortunate to be raised not to consider others as strangers but to treat each person as a friend in waiting. You never know what a smile and a warm greeting may lead to.
I have always found it very easy to openly chat to people in shops, in the streets, so called strangers etc and have them share many intimate things. I have observed that many others have the same experience, but strangely (pun intended) can have more difficulty with those that are supposed to be friends, family or close to them. Interesting to consider how the vast proportion of abuse and violence happens in the home environment and it is those that purport to love each other that can often attack – so who are the strangers here?
Great point Nicola, why would we need to protect ourselves from those we consider nearest and dearest? What do we invest into these relationships so we start to act and think in a certain way – a way that takes us away from truth? Interesting we don’t invest in the same way with someone we don’t know.
It’s great to treat the whole of humanity as one big family, for that we are. It is also wise to look after ourselves first and foremost and in that we honour ourselves and what is true for us at any given time. This then bestows honour on another whether we welcome them into our home or not.
When we meet people and are open, we can feel that connection from another, often others are also sacred and closed, but if we are open we give them a chance to open up. It is about feeling and discerning energy and you would never just invite anyone to your house unless you felt the connection of trust.
It is amazing to take out the exclusivity of friendships and to just consider the whole of humanity as part of the same one family, regardless of all our different choices, essentially and at the core we are all made of the same stuff and so there can really be an instant bond because we all have so much in common.
Mariette, I realised reading how we use the outer world and it’s inhabitants as a gauge for how to be, instead of connecting to ourselves and offering the same open and loving self to all. It’s much simpler this way and less stressful for the body!
It is truly freeing when we let go of limiting beliefs we hold about family and can see that our whole community is one big family and it is through our own commitment to connect and embrace all equally that we can experience true brotherhood in the world.
Travelling the London Tube has been a great reflection for me to observe how open I am with people, and usually I can feel that everyone is in their own mind space and basically ignoring everyone around them, but recently something changed in me that was significantly different than previous travels – I felt such a level of acceptance for everyone that it felt to me that I knew everyone as if they were my personal family, no barriers, no judgments, just totally at ease.
Recently I have been meeting a lot of new people and I have been amazed at how open people can be, I love the fact that we will always have more in common then we think and that commonality is divinity. We all hold the divine and connecting with others is an opportunity to see we are so much more then just human.
I love that – there are no such thing as strangers, we’re all human and the depth of one second of connection with someone you’ve never met before on the street proves that there is not really such a thing as a “stranger”.
This is a revealing sharing Mariette, one we all need to acknowledge. To say that there is no such thing as a stranger makes sense to me, even when we feel that there is no real connection to another there is the opportunity for us all to open ourselves up and include that opportunity to get to know someone better.
The question is asked here about why we protect ourselves from eachother, which is a great question because it requires anyone who reads it to be honest about the fact that we do protect and, how in this protection we are essentially shutting down our hearts, which do not discriminate or judge.
When in connection with whom we are we can meet life with an open heart where there is no separation or differences only a feeling and knowing of what we have walked away from- that is a love that holds us equally and that is the innate right of being.
I can feel that at times I am guarded when I meet people and this is not my true nature. I am learning to open up and not let this be there. As I read your blog I could feel an expansiveness and opening up across my heart. I allowed me the space to reflect on close relationships and how I am within those and the changes I can make to be more of myself in these.
Many people are not used to being totally accepted for who they are so when this happens they often settle into their body and share them self openly.
Beautiful Mariette. Now every time you look in your mirror you will see the reflection of the meeting you had with the man who helped you hang the mirror.
Throughout my life I have met, spoken with and worked with many many people and none of them have felt like strangers to me that is because in truth we are not strangers it is just the hurts, protection and lack of connection with ourselves that makes us who we are.
The moment we meet someone that we feel like we have known forever, we are being reminded that we are not strangers at all. Even if we don’t feel that straight away, if we take the time to connect with someone it is there in an instant.
There is so much light and lovely willingness shared in your being open with everyone equally. How simple is this to paly with in our day, bringing a greater awareness what part we hold in how another feels. Being open and warm without judgment can support another to trust to open up to meet us in return or the next person, What matters is what we offer that supports another to trust in offering themselves – just like you handyman.
I love the magic connections that happen all around us when we are at ease and open. A little while ago at work I was trying to figure out how to repair a broken item in my shop and I had a lovely gentleman offer to give me some advice on how to repair it. In our willingness to welcome everyone into our hearts it makes room for amazing things to happen anywhere and at anytime.
It is very true, who are the ‘strangers’. They are people just like us. It is lovely to be met very openly by another, and it builds trust where there may have been protection.
It’s funny how we categorise others into this or that which then changes how we interact with them. It’s definitely not something love would do, so who is running the show when we do that? Oh, of course, the spirit and it’s clever antics. Not one to entertain true relationship in case it gets exposed.
I know that when I connect to new people I can either be open and let them see all of me or I can guard myself. When I am feeling open and amazing the world responds to this openness and I feel at one with both myself and with others. When I guard myself the whole world can feel and sense that there is an anxiety in me and also withdraw. When we take responsibility for engaging with the world we are opening ourselves to the Universe.
Simply saying hello to the people I see regularly, like the ticket collector at my local station, starts to build relationships. I have recently started to drive to work so when I had to take the train the other day he greeted me with a big smile and said, “long time no see.” We had a little chat and I went on my way. The more I am open to connecting with others, the more I agree that there are no such things as strangers.
Mariette, it’s lovely to read your blog and consider your words about being equally ourselves with everyone, and expressing our love the same equal way. The word “stranger” can conjure up fear and apprehension, because it can carry a negative connotation of potential danger. But there is always the potential to share our love with another, and as you say, even if it’s meeting for the first time and then never seeing each other again – why hold back the love we so naturally are?
I feel the freedom and simplicity of a child when I am my spontaneous self, just connecting with life in whatever way it presents. It becomes all one, no different to meeting a stranger, a friend, men , women, my body has a deepening connection to the intimacy and love I feel with all and it continues to deepen.
The definition of the word ‘stranger’ is noted as one who is unaccustomed to a feeling, experience or situation. How far is that from the truth that we know when we engage in a conversation with another about the simple things in life and a resounding – I agree or I know where your coming from is the core of the interaction between two people?
This is such a game changer, to view people from the point of view of how connected we all are, and that no one is any better or lesser than another. I am so glad that I am opening up more and more to others.
When we lose that true connection with ourselves, it is easy to see ourselves as separate to others, and from there begins all the malaise and ills that society and individuals find themselves in… in separation, isolation and all the many miscommunications, misunderstandings and conflicts that stem from this. But in remembering who we are and what we are part of, then there is a whole different way of living that restores to humanity its true brotherhood and true power, and the joy of the constellated interactivity of all.
Yesterday I was in London for the day and I love the different connections made with people in the street, on the tube and in the subway. I felt really supported when I asked for directions, I did the usual tourist thing and had a photo taken outside Big Ben etc and the people I met where great and you don’t even need to talk to them sometimes it is just eye contact needed to make a connection that says we are not alone there are no strangers.
The more I appreciate that we are all here to learn, grow and return to true love, the more understanding I have for what I feel and see in myself and in others.
I can still get surprised by how easy it is to strike up a conversation with someone I don’t know and feel an instant connection. It’s becoming easier for me as I drop my guard and not so surprising as I realise we are all the same.
Connecting to people is the missing ingredient we are facing in the world today. You just have to walk down the street and notice the amount of people avoiding eye contact in the rush to get from A to B. I have noticed the more I start conversations on the public transport, in the doctors surgery or in the shopping counter line there is a willingness to engage but it often comes from those who are open to speaking up first. This blog is a timely reminder that when we have an opening and willingness to do so, this brings out the gorgeous qualities we can see in others and the saying ‘talking to a stranger’ is far from the truth.
Your words, Ingrid make such sense – if we stop before we go into a protection we will begin to allow a feeling of space, and an opportunity to change a very abusive way that feels as though one is judging the situation, without any true connection to the truth of what we are being offered when we meet another – which in truth is an opportunity to constellate. As you say ‘If we could get a true sense of the force that our body needs to bring in to do something that is counter to its natural way and how this force impacts on many parts of our body, and then compare it to the wonderful feeling of openness and freedom that comes from not holding back, I am sure that we would begin to choose the latter more and more, until it begins to be a natural way of being once again’.
Is it possible that if we truly felt what was happening in our body when we meet someone and we choose to hold back in protection, the next time we go to do so we may hesitate, and instead open ourselves up to the possibility of what could come next? If we could get a true sense of the force that our body needs to bring in to do something that is counter to its natural way and how this force impacts on many parts of our body, and then compare it to the wonderful feeling of openness and freedom that comes from not holding back, I am sure that we would begin to choose the latter more and more, until it begins to be a natural way of being once again.
I had never before realised that even the word stranger isn’t welcoming and had assumed the negative connotations were from being taught to fear strangers; but when I replace it with ‘people we don’t know’ it feels more open- someone we could get to know and not someone who we will never want to know because we have already judged them as strange, untrustworthy, not normal.
But if I replace stranger with fellow brother this totally opens us up to connection. Walking along I felt this and so many people said the loveliest hellos. It felt like one big community and I realised there is no place for judgement or closing anyone off to connection – even if they are allowing abuse through (which can be addressed).
This is gold Mariette, seeing all of humanity as equals and your family – this should be something we all embrace and live this deep quality with all of our relationships and everyone we meet. If more lived and claimed this truth there would be no way our refugees would be seen as a burden or rejected by any country because we would see it as our responsibility to support and love these people as equals and provide them with everything they need to rebuild their lives.
The more I get to know myself the more I know there is no such thing as strangers. Everyday we are given the opportunity to connect with others as family, as part of us, or we can deny this truth and instead fall for the illusion that we are separate.
The fact that as a humanity we still do not recognise each other as family is why we are currently in such a mess. When we fall for the separation; the illusion we see as others not being the same which leads to all sorts of problems.
Mariette, you sum up our general human behaviour very well when you say “When we meet somebody for the first time, at times we have this tendency to hold back, to be reserved, maybe to judge the other by his or her appearance, how he/she acts or behaves and how he/she responds to us.” This used to be me to a ‘T’ but thankfully I am learning to be more and more open and the warm response I feel from total strangers is simply delightful.
When we see everyone as equal and family – as a one humanity – this huge tension drops away of needing to protect ourselves, hold our natural playfulness in, be polite etc. we can just be ourselves with everyone. Such a lovely feeling.
“At some point he shared that he was surprised that he was telling all these things about his personal life to a stranger.” This sort of experience happens to me often so I just accept it now as being ‘normal’.
I love this blog Mariette and I love and appreciate the countless opportunities I get each and every day in my job as a property manager to connect to people from all walks of life.
Yesterday I experienced what you have described here about how there is no such a thing as strangers. I had an insurance assessor out to assess some damage to my house. This man was absolutely incredible, so caring, so open and someone who absolutely loved people. We sat and had a cup of tea together and had the most incredible conversation where we deeply connected. Who would have thought this could happen with an insurance assessor? When we are open to connect with another the whole world opens up for us and people are no longer strangers.
I am choosing to stay open, connected, and not go into protection in all situations, still a work in progress, but it does feel so much more loving.
It is possible we view someone as strange when we do not fully know and trust ourselves first. What came across clearly from Mariette’s blog was how she did not fear the person she invited into her house because she trusted herself completely to be discerning. When we are like this we can totally open up to others and trust our responses to them.
Mariette I am also enjoying to let people in, as I walk around my new neighbourhood I now live, I am making so many deep connections with people I have not met before and we are sharing about our lives. What I find is when I am open, the other person feels that and gives themselves permission to be open too. Then we have the joy of each other. I wonder what a stranger is? Only can be someone I keep as separate and distant.
Having the knowledge that we are all connected and all one makes a difference to the quality of interaction between us
Mariette, your blog about strangers not being strangers is so simple, yet very profound. We have all felt the reward of love and joy in our bodies when a real connection happens, also with people we seemingly don’t know. Living like noone is a stranger would make the world a more loving place for all.
What you have shared so beautifully in this blog Mariette came to mind when I attended a birthday party for a six year old girl recently. Most of the girls seemed to know each other but there was one girl, a little older, who was sitting on the couch with her head down, in protection mode and with her body language saying “leave me alone”. As I knew her quite well I sat down next to her and asked how she was feeling, and she said that she didn’t feel happy as she didn’t know anyone except the birthday girl, so I shared with her that “there are no such things as strangers,” and that all these girls were friends waiting to be made. I left her there still with her head down, but a while later I smiled when I saw her in a group of girls chatting and laughing; how wonderful that she learned the lesson so quickly and didn’t go home still feeling isolated, separate and very unhappy.
Oh Ingrid, that’s wonderful. How much good we can do if we stay open and sensitive to everything that is needed around us. And how simply it is! just a moment to connect, a confident and a warm smile to someone can change his/her life. I’m sure this girl will remeber you always.
Thank you Ingrid, very inspirational. It just shows the enormous ripple effect we all have.
When everyone is family, then everywhere is home, and there can be no loss.
That’s true Shami. At this moment I’m living abroad but I’m feeling at home all the time. Feeling the love inside is a blessing to share with everyone, no one is excluded because is in all of us equally. It’s beautiful how we can melt even the most apparently hard person just connecting with the essence of each one.
I had an experience lately where simply meeting another at the counter of a shop, being open in my movements as I walked in, the person began to talk as they organised my order. He was very clear he wanted to talk about service (or the lack of in his experience) and as the conversation unfolded, I understood through continuing to meet him and take the topic back and forwards, it evolved from a complaining energy to one of learning and understanding between us. This all occurred because the connection was honoured first.
This is great Mariette, trusting in ourselves to discern an openness in others, be they stranger or friend, where we need not be distant and instead choose to be fully transparent and share freely our beauty and tenderness.
I am finding this too, connecting and talking with people I have never met before seems very natural and common place in my life, and it all feels so lovely.
I walked into my local town yesterday and had a beautiful connection with three people who I didn’t know. With each person, the conversation happened very naturally however what we shared was more than just a conversation and was so simple. This may not seem unusual but in the past I would not have even engaged with people in this way, but would have walked on past, or given a quick smile indicating that I didn’t want to engage in speaking or interacting with them in any way. What is so lovely is that the more I accept and appreciate myself for who I am, the more open I become with others and find I am initiating conversations with people, so those Ive never met no longer feel like strangers. And it feels gorgeous. Great blog Mariette, thank you.
I love what you share Sandra as it does have to do with appreciation of yourself. I also notice that the more I appreciate myself and can feel that what I bring here is of a lot of worth, I just love to start conversations with others. Not only to share myself, but from the knowing that they also bring something of worth and that every conversation is an inspiration for both of us.
You just brought this blog about strangers not being strangers to a whole new level, Sandra, – it is all about the connection to oursleves first. When we are connected to ourselves and appreciate ourselves for who we are, as you remind us of, we realize that there are no strangers, and this is a beautiful way to live.
I love meeting and connecting with ‘strangers’, people are so utterly fascinating, everyone of us are outcomes of our own choices and seeing these choices and how they play out is intriguing. The more people I meet the more I know we are all the same, but different because of the ideals and beliefs we choose to take on, underneath this illusion we all know deep down we are one and the same.
Love the fact that it was a mirror that needed hanging! Our whole body craves connection. For me it is the cheapest and most readily available medicine and it so absolutely, definitely works – both directly and through countless ripple effects. The quality of my day is always directly linked to the quality of the connections that I have made.
For me too Otto, connection is medicine. Every time I connect, when I meet somebody new, when I have a chat or when I just smile at somebody, I instantly feel a change within myself. For me my days are about the people I have been in contact with, far more than what I have done or what I have achieved.
Yesterday I had my lunch on a bench. This woman came by with a dog and stopped close beside me to pick-up some litter with her dog coming over to lick me, and wagging his friendly tale. The dog was just gorgeous with long shaggy blonde hair falling over his brown eyes. I greeted him like an old friend and then had a lovely exchange with his owner. They do say that animals can sense whether people are open or not!
To connect with every one is so beautiful even when something is felt that is not true. It is easy to run away and protect ourselves but staying open and connecting to others no matter what they say or do is taking responsibility and being love.
Yes, staying open and connected regardless of what is going on in front of you or what somebody else is doing, that is something I am practicing with every day. When we stay open and connected, we give ourselves and the other the biggest present in the world though.
What you describe here in your openess to strangers Mariette is the possibility that we are all family connected in our innermost, rather than just being defined by blood lines or the people we live with.
It is interesting how we bring all our past hurts and betrayals to strangers. So if we have had our trust broken by a few people in the past we can quite often hold many others to ransom for this by not being open with them. We really get to miss out then on people who are open and wanting to connect with us and those moments of joy, warmth and intimacy.
Very true Jenny, we miss out a lot, every day, because of our past hurts. When we hold on to these hurts. we cannot open up to new people we meet. That is why it is so important to deal with our hurts and to realize that we are not our hurts.
When we connect with others, we enjoin. There is more than 1+1=2 happening it is more than any sum or 5 or 500 depended on what is needed in this connection for the two of us or all of humanity to benefit. We all need everyone for every one of us has their unique point of view and when we connect in larger groups, we have the opportunity to to see from all angles and brings completeness. When we connect to others a door is opened with an opportunity to discover.
Absolutely agree with that Steve. Now it’s an opportunity to go out and discover us together expressing from our true essence. Every one of us is so important to bring this completeness and we truly need of this union in the middle of this world of separation.
“It feels very freeing to be in life like this and to share myself and my love with everyone.”
Indeed Mariette the freedom that is allowed by dropping our self created guards or judgements is hugely confirming, for when we put connection over our self created guards, our individuality we are given permission to be ourselves.
Reading this blog again I just realise how separating the word or thought stranger is in our lives. It is someone we do not know but it holds also a thought of you cannot trust this person and that is not true. That is the part that holds us, if we so choose, from loving everybody equally and being ourselves with everyone, instead as it is now, we often only are ourselves with the people we trust and know.
I really love this blog because it reminds me that with Mariette out in the world, meeting people and just being herself, there is so much inspiration to be experienced simply by living and connecting with people.
You are right Mariette there are no strangers, just people we haven’t met yet and most people if given a chance will respond even without knowing consciously that we are all the same underneath. When I read this for the first time I was full of suspicion with a massive guard up that comes from living in a big city, but you are right if it feels right, it usually is and if you can trust how you feel there is no reason not to invite a complete stranger into the house.
Gorgeous Mariette, such a beautiful illustration of the magic that can occur when we let another in… and blowing sky high the idea that we have to ‘get to know someone first’ before we can a) trust them (especially into our home) and b) let them in and share as we would a close friend.
That is a very deep belief Jenny, that we can only trust somebody if we know them for a certain amount of time. Same with loving people……you can only love somebody if you know him/her for a certain amount of time, but I am experiencing that this is not true, as I actually love people right now whom have I just met.
The term ‘stranger’ doesn’t just apply to someone unknown, or someone we have only just met – but we can keep people around us as strangers for years – never daring to open up and let them in.
I love this Mariette. The very notion of a ‘stranger’ is very strange. Why do we decide that someone is foreign, not to be trusted, and to be kept at a distance until such time that we deem them ‘familiar’ or a friend? We miss out on so much by keeping people out in this way, and, we miss out on seeing and feeling the beauty that is there from the instant we choose to connect.
I love this blog Mariette. To consider that anyone we meet could be a potential friend is amazing. I used to be very shy around people I didn’t know, but as I learn to connect to myself more deeply, I am appreciating that as I open up there are so many opportunities in my day to have beautiful interactions with people I haven’t met before. When we close ourselves off to people we are closing ourselves off to so many possible opportunities.
We have “estranged” from each other and forgot about that we are all parts of a whole and only together we are feeling our true belonging. There is no true equalness in individualization.
To be open to people means to live life from the potential we all have and from the knowing that we are all equal and divine in origin. We have made life about selective relationships with selective people determined by blood, kinship, taste and lifestyle. Through Universal Medicine I met people from all walks of life and I was inspired to step out of my lifestyle bubble and understand and live what true equality is.
Children have an innate, inbuilt sense of being able to know who they can trust, who is ok to hug and who is best stayed away from. Actually we all have this ability even as adults, but as we grow up we tend to tune this down. Hence when we teach children to ‘not talk to strangers, or not go with strangers’ we are asking them to override their own senses of what and who is safe. Essentially most cases of assault and abuse come through those we know and not so much from ‘strangers’. So in effect this is not very reassuring when we teach our young to ‘not talk to strangers’. Mariette, what I love about your blog is that you talk about having and holding an openness with all that allows this true connection, but at the same time it does not mean you let everyone into your home for it is so important to discern what energy is governing another.
Mariette the concept of strangers is such a common one, yet I’ve also had many situations where I meet someone and they don’t feel like strangers. What I was reflecting on yesterday was when someone shared how they felt like they’d known us like family, something that was felt after a couple of hours. It shows the more we open up with people the more the concept of strangers goes away and if we are open when we first meet someone, no-one is a stranger.
Me too, sometimes you meet somebody and instantly it feels like you have known that person for a long time. For me it is a great practice to see in my everyday life if I am the same with everybody. And when I am not, to just stop for a moment and feel why not. Life is about relationships, that is for sure something I am realizing more and more, every single day.
In my daily work I literally see hundreds of people every day. It has been such a rich experience opening myself more to people I have never met before as well as those I have – in a 1 minute or 10 minute interaction across the desk – even in silence. Intimacy is a way of moving, being with someone, it is beautiful to experience and is felt by all.
This young man and I occasionally get to the station at the same time, early in the morning. He has a friendly face so one day I said good morning. He beamed with a huge smile and asked how was my day? We both made each other’s day and since then I never failed to acknowledge him when we meet. We travel in opposite directions but just the sight of him reassures me that the day will be just great.
What a lovely comment, it feels like a love story you are sharing with us. It shows that we can connect with anybody and that just in that connection, the deep love we all are and feel for each other is deeply felt.
Mariette this false idea I lived once as well: “. . . the false idea of the stranger, the idea that I have to be different with certain people and that I cannot be open and loving with those that I meet for the first time.” For me it was also freeing to drop this as it opens up my heart and trust and I have to admit that to live like this is is so much more joyfuller.
Has the word stranger been used so that the connotations of a strange person mean we act in a certain way? Why is it we treat some people one way, and others a different way? We are all human, all seeking connection. Yes we have to discern energy and there are certain people that I would not let into my home. But what is important is the openness with which I meet people and not having separate categories for who gets what treatment.
This is beautifully inspiring Mariette. At a recent Universal Medicine Retreat we explored intimacy and we looked at some of the things we had built up around intimacy – and I mean the kind of intimacy we can have with everyone – an openness and willingness to let people in. One of the big things for me was that I always thought intimacy took time to build. But this is not true. We can allow intimacy with anyone, at anytime – as you have so beautifully shared.
The word “stranger” certainly feels distant and has connotations of fear with it. When we are open we have the opportunity to connect with some gorgeous people who are reflecting us back to us in this connection. Of course there must be discernment in some situations but for the most part most of us just want to be met at some level and the results can be so gorgeous as was with your connection, Marietta.
This blog is gorgeous to read and feel Mariette, I love how you are connecting more and more, ‘Taking the ‘old’ belief of the ‘stranger’ out of my life more and more, allows me to be more open, spontaneous, joyful and deeply connected with everybody and this feels great. I am now connecting more to all of humanity – I see the whole of humanity as my family! GREAT!’
I used to be very wary of people, always having ‘my radar’ on alert, measuring up situations and people by whether it was safe to express in any way or better to keep quiet and not upset anyone around me. This is no longer the truth in my experience – as I have built a deeper relationship to not be a stranger to myself, so too have relationships with others changed dramatically and it does not feel like there are strangers ‘out there’ any more. It is great to now be able to walk into a room feeling graceful and confident in myself with no need of walking in tentatively as previously , as the room was full of people (strangers) I did not know. A massive change to accept, appreciate and connect myself with others as an equal, knowing we are all more than enough just simply being all that we are.
Beautiful what you share, ‘to not be a stranger to yourself’. When we are no longer a stranger to ourselves and become our own best friend, then this is what we bring to everybody we meet.
Simply connecting with others, especially strangers, is so beautiful and an enlightening part of our lives and really does help us to feel that we are all connected to each other and that we are all one. A very worthwhile true blog that makes one smile as we know this to be true.
Why is it we are raised to think that people we don’t know are strangers and therefore potentially dangerous. Slowly over time we become disempwered to decide for ourselves who feels ok and who does n’t and close down to those we don’t ‘know’. However would it not make more sense to stay open to everybody and then discern and decide for ourselves who feels strange or not? Statistics show that more harm comes from family, friends and or those we know than from a ‘stranger’. Thank you Mariette for a heart opening sharing.
Mariette, a joy to re-visit this blog and read it again fully today. A true marker in the change that can be brought to discard various levels of self-protection that we hold to keep us separate from people, thus feeling isolated and even lonely. I rarely feel daunted by meeting people these days because of the deeper connection with in myself that the Universal Medicine presentations have inspired.
Great blog to debunk the whole notion of people are strangers if you are only just meeting them. We all have had experiences when there is an immediate connection with someone, you’ve just met….. plus let us not forget that in our very own families, ( blood families), sometimes it is the case, that family members are strangers to each other, choosing to have no contact for many, many years, such is the hurt and the mistrust as family members close off to one another.
I love this story. I feel so open and life feels like a wonderful place to be when we live as if there is no stranger.
It also reminded me of the ill advice we give to children. “Don’t talk to strangers” It should be “Don’t talk to people that feel strange.”
Beautifully summed up this blog Sandra; There are no strangers simply hearts that are open or not.
Yesterday I had a wonderful connection with a customer who came to the store to buy a ‘thank you present’.
She explained how a total stranger offered her such kindness and support when her car broke down. Included was a little but powerful detail that the stranger didn’t quite fit this person’s usual image of who she may usually have turned to for assistance. However she let all that go and allowed what was there to open up between them and she was truly blessed by the experience. There are no strangers simply hearts that are open or not.
Measuring how much we allow someone to see of us is very constricting on the body. We are naturally love and we naturally know brotherhood so anything less will hurt us. There is such a joy in connecting to people who ever they are, everyone has something to offer, a reflection to learn from.
Same here Richard, after reading this blog I could also feel how much more open I was and how easy it is to connect to others, to make a small comment to another and start a conversation. It becomes natural to let others in.
This blog is an invitation for me to let go my protection. I’m also learning to let people in, and you make it easy, Mariette. Thank you for inspiring me with your experience!
To come closer with each other is not primarily a physical process. It depends on how close I allow myself to be with me. That’s how much I care for me first and foremost.
Very true Felix, it is not primarily about the physical process. I can feel very close, connected and intimate with people while they are very far away from me. It does not matter. We can be in one room or in different countries, this does not say anything about the level of connection.
Excellent point Felix. I have noticed a definite correlation between the times I feel more distant or disconnected from family, friends, etc. and the times that I was not truly taking care and nurturing myself. Also, when I have been excessively in my head about something and worrying, I don’t feel to connect with others as openly. Conversely, when I opened my heart and let people see the real me without fear, I have experienced amazing connections with all sorts of people I hadn’t previously known, as if we knew each other forever.
Reading your blog again Mariette, I realise how reserved I have been with some people. What are they going to want? Will they ask me for more than I want to give? Probably the biggest hurdle for me has been the fact that I do not want to have to say when someone has crossed the line. In the past I would have put up with behaviours that I didn’t want because I didn’t want to say anything. Therefore I try to choose people who understand what I want without me saying anything. How confusing is that? What a crazy burden to carry when the simple thing would be to speak up. I had no idea I was so reserved. So the huge thing for me today is to connect with people in a very honest way and to not shrink away from being absolutely truthful. It will be an interesting project.
‘It feels very freeing to be in life like this and to share myself and my love with everyone.’ A beautiful way to live life Mariette, when we remain open to everyone no matter who they are there is always an opportunity for us to grow and evolve.
It seems to me to be a bit lazy or lacking confidence that we have forgotten or discount or devalue our ability to feel and read energy when it comes to our daily life and relationships. Maybe it is easier to just not talk to strangers and walk around guarded and protected to everyone rather than actually feeling what is really going on and energetically assessing each and every encounter with another human being? We have the capacity to be able to read each other and know whether someone feels safe or not in an instant. Kids do it all the time, so why have we forgotten how to do it as adults?
There was a big thing when I was growing up around about ‘don’t talk to strangers’ which was driven by some well publicised cases of children being abducted or abused by people they did not know. However the statistics tell us that abuse in families is much more likely to come from someone known to the person than a stranger. And yet this notion of ‘stranger danger’ has hung around, effecting the potential quality of relationships we could have or discover with each other as one human family. Of course we need to stay aware and feel how someone is and if they intend us harm or not, but to right off most of humanity just because they are not known to us seems to me extreme and harmful in itself.
This great blog makes me ponder what does it actually mean to ‘know’ someone? We say that strangers are people we do not know and we also use the expression of knowing someone well. We usually base this on how much time we have spent with the person but perhaps this is not quite right? Perhaps we can ‘know’ someone instantly if we are open to them and they are open to us and we connect with each other and see each other for who we really are.
I have found in my life that it is possible to have an instant connection with someone I have only just met as if I have known them for many years, and also found it is possible to know someone for years and not feel connected to them.
I have this too Andrew, there are some family members I have very little connection too, while with others who are not blood related I can feel more connected with them.
It is so lovely to feel you with ‘all those gorgeous people out there in the world’ that you meet every day. While reading your blog it was as if I walked next to you and you know I felt inspired by the joy and openness you share with humanity. Thank you Mariette.
The thing is all strangers are friends or family and loved ones to someone else – it can be quite easy to forget the person serving you or in the car next to you is a person just like you – going though stuff and having good and bad days. When we make the time to stop and talk and connect to people it brings that into the foreground- I know when I worked at a cafe, making conversation and connection with customers made them less like drinks on an order, and made us less like machines behind a counter.
Well said Brendan, and sometimes it seems that all we crave is food, entertainment, money or success, but underneath all these cravings, the only thing we truly crave for is connection.
I love this example Richard. When we connect to our essence deep within us we realise we are all one of the same. In that we do all know each other in that we know the original source we all come from.
“I am now connecting more to all of humanity – I see the whole of humanity as my family! GREAT!”
Yes it is great Mariette; what an absolute joy it is to be out in the world connecting and enjoying meeting up with “strangers”; strangers no more!
Brillant Richard, Its so lovely to feel that familiarity with someone yet it may be the first time that meeting has taken place. It just goes to show, there is something, a common denominator that runs within each and every person. And that common thread surfaces when two people meet and recognise that same quality … Being met with something that is so familiar!
Brillant Richard, Its so lovely to feel that familiarity with someone yet it may be the first time that meeting has taken place. It just goes to show, there is something, a common denominator that runs within each and every person. And that common thread surfaces when two people meet and recognise that same quality … Being met with something that is so familiar!
When we label another as a stranger, we automatically go into a protection and are on guard, not being able to just relax and be ourselves with this person. Funny how we let labels dictate how we are going to feel about another that we don’t even know.
So true Julie, the more we let go of the protection and allow others in we start to truly connect with everyone and feel the joy that comes with this openness.
I imagine for this man to have felt so trusted by you Mariette would have made his day. You had the pleasure of receiving his help and he had the pleasure of offering it. It sounds like a great exchange to me!
It was a great exchange and the beauty is, we have been in touch after that as well. If there is something, I know I can call him if needed. It just feels great to have people in your close neighborhood that you can ask for support, especially when you live on your own. I have a lovely girl living above me and she is also somebody I am close with and I know I can text her or call her, if needed. We even share wifi.
A great point Rachel when we feel total trust we open up more deeply to people and for sure this flows onto our next meeting with another. We share the trust of ourselves and the trusting of each other because we connect to the well that is with-in us. Trust is a very beautiful quality to reflect to each other.
I have recently been taking public transport a whole lot more and it’s been a great learning for me – at first i fell into step with everyone else and ignored the bus driver or the staff at tube stations. But after watching my friend say hello to them one day, I realised how I had been blanking another human, and that to stop for a moment to smile or say hi won’t cost me a thing, but maybe makes those peoples day feel a little better.
Yes the power of a smile and a cheery ‘hello’ makes such a huge difference to someone’s day Rebecca and this is returned twofold as we then get to experience a return of that moment of sharing ourselves with another. And its free 🙂
Thank you Rebecca – the clarity of your comment leaves no room for confusion and brings simplicity back to our interactions with others. As you say ‘it is wise to be discerning while still being open to connecting’ and in this way we let go of judgement and reaction.
When we meet people we know so much about them just by what we have felt. We can put up barriers and pretend that things aren’t known, but everything is known because everything is energy, so the energy passing through you I can also feel.
Is it possible the images we hold around people are the ways we may sort in our minds who is a stranger and who is not? Does someone’s obvious life choices draw us in or repel us based on these images? Preconceived ideas keep us from connecting to the essence of who these people truly are and the possibilities of what we can unfold together – even for a moment. Connection brings treasures beyond any imagined picture.
Images we hold do stand in the way of connection and also intimacy. We tend to place people in boxes where we leave them no room to just be who they truly are. We are not our choices and we are not our behavior. Connection does bring treasures beyond any imagined picture. Beautifully expressed. We don’t need any rainbows with golden pots at the end. The gold is right under our noses every single day.
There are many opportunities for us to connect with ‘strangers’ eg doing shopping, buying petrol, going for a walk etc. It’s a lovely experience to give eye contact to someone and say a simple ‘hi’ or whatever is appropriate at the time. In our world there is way too much isolation, loneliness and avoidance of others, often because they are deemed ‘strangers’, yet we have the possibility of making joyful, simple contact with another human being quite easily. If anyone is in doubt it’s definitely worth the experiment to see for themselves!
‘Why do we see people as strangers and what kind of effect does this have on our ability to connect with each other? Even the word ‘stranger’ carries a distance in it, where it feels strange, or even odd, that I could not allow myself to be fully open with that person, just because I have never met them before.
‘Great question Mariette. Staying open with people dissolves any preconceived ideas we may have about, age, culture, dress, etc . .. and allows the most simple, stunning and inspirational interactions to occur.
When I connect to people who I don’t know I am aware that there are two things that I am interacting with. Firstly their essence which is the same as mine, and this is where our shared humanity lies. Secondly what I am relating to is the energy and the result of all their choices. The things they choose in life may be different to what I choose, therefore the health of their body, the way they relate, the things they choose to do with their spare time may be different. Any beliefs they have will taint how they see the world and therefore how they see me. All this other ‘stuff’ is around their true essence and will be present in any exchange. It is worthwhile being aware of this and it is wise to be discerning while still being open to connecting.
Connecting with others brings a smile and warm feeling inside us and it is like meeting ourselves and lighting our day. There is no such thing as strangers wether we catch a glimpse in another’s eye or have a conversation with true connection.
Yesterday to took a short walk round the block. I saw an elderly lady with her dog and we smiled and said hello as we walked past each other. I then met her again on my circuit and we both naturally stopped to have a conversation. It was like meeting a friend. These moments of connection with others bring much joy.
To me it is those daily interactions that make my day, the lady in the supermarket, the smile from the passer by on the street, the warm hearted gesture from the bus driver. We are all so amazing and there is nothing better then truly connecting with another.
For me too Samantha, they are my so called cherries on the pie, the reason I get up in the morning and what life is for me about, connecting with people and knowing that life is about people. Always.
I agree Samantha and Mariette, it is the daily connection with others however small, that makes all the difference to one’s day, like ‘cherries on the pie’ and without the calories Mariette!
From these connections felt by our hearts we are full of love and do not need to fill ourselves with treats and snacks, we grow in another way.
The world can sometimes feel like a lonely, isolated place to be. But what you show so beautifully Mariette is that it is this view of life that is alien to our true nature, not one another. If you consider the possibility of re-incarnation how funny it is to imagine, brothers, sisters, mothers and daughters from previous times, meeting like a new species recently discovered. The beautiful thing as your story shows is that the smallest conversation or interaction can illustrate that we are all the same underneath.
Love that you bring in the element of reincarnation Joseph and what is really ‘strange’ in our life situations is that we choose NOT to remember our past lives or the connections we have to those we may only have brief encounters with now. I’m sure everyone has experienced that feeling of a ‘stranger’ feeling like home, easy to talk to and very familiar… a past life connection perhaps.
Amazing Mariette. Having conditions on who we show ourselves to, and who we trust places restricions on us and affects the way we are even with the people we love. When we let more of the world in, we can go to new levels with our openness and capacity to build amazing relationships.
So true Harrison when we let the world in we realise we are in fact no different, and that there is no race, no colour, no religion that can separate us as we are all one – one family.
Absolutely Harrison, and then life is one big relationship. And the beauty is, there is no end point with being open. I am learning every day that I can open up more and more and let people in and show more of myself. So much to explore..
Great point Harrison, I have always had huge trust issues, trusting some people more than others. What I have learned is that trusting others begins with self-trust, which comes from acceptance and loving myself first and foremost. Self-love is key to being open and sharing all of one self.
I love what you have shared here, plus your line “It feels very freeing to be in life like this and to share myself and my love with everyone”, if we all took were able to foster this more, each and every one of us, relationships would definitely change, there would be less protection, more openness and ability for people to connect. A much more open and loving society we would surely have.
Indeed Raegan, if we all saw it as a joyful opportunity to learn and expand and not a heavy burden or a chore, as often is the case when we realise this is part of being a responsible fellow human being. As Mariette says “It feels very freeing…”
It is a gorgeous feeling to be greeted by a warm, inviting smile like yours Mariette an invitation to openly communicate equally so and in return share in ways that just feel so joyful and a part of something that feels much grander. That feeling of ‘don’t I know you’ from somewhere! comes to mind.
I just said something similar today to someone I have been working with for an event. We haven’t seen each other that much but I told them that I have this feeling that I’ve known them for a long time and how lovely it feels to be working with them. They said well, I don’t know if that is true that we know each other for a long time. Oh well, I said, I just trust what I feel.
We get taught from very young not to talk to strangers – the whole idea of ‘stranger danger’ was hammered into kids at school and I remember being quite terrified of people I didn’t know. Sure, kids need to be aware of certain behaviours and learn to discern what they feel and read about another. But telling them to ‘shut off’ all strangers is so against what kids naturally want to do – connect!
That’s an important point Rachael, – most kids love to connect as they are still aligned to their true expression. It is so simple when we see it for what it naturally is.
Yes. Brings joy, and changes our day Samantha
Yes, Kids love to connect, and can feel when connection is not there. Their behaviour changes immediately. I have noticed this with my son – the one thing he can’t bear is feeling any disconnection in our relationship and he lets us know in the most beautiful ways.
Thanks for sharing a great point here Rachael Evans. We are taught not to talk to strangers as children but why is it that children tended to ignore this. Could it be that they are still aware that we are all connected and it is natural to want to engage with one another. No coincidence that when a child does this, every adult melts from the inside out!
Yes, when we are really connected and in love, there is no off switch, then we reflect the same quality to everybody. It is so amazing, that we can deepen our relationship with everybody more and more, there is no end.
Great sharing Mariette – you describe beautifully what true connection is about – to have no prejudices, no expectations or whatsoever, just to be open and let the world and other people in. When we do this, life is coming towards us, no need to look for anything. Then love is in the air.
I love what you share Alexander “When we do this, life is coming towards us, no need to look for anything. Then love is in the air.” Being open and staying connected with myself I find what you share absolutely real in my daily life.
Then life is coming towards us, I love that Alexander. And it is true, then everything we need and all those people we have to meet will come to us. I always trust that I exactly come across those people that give me that piece of reflection I need for the day.
Yes indeed Alexander, when we do this, love is given the space to flow….
Great point Alexander,” life is coming towards us”, then it is our responsibility to then be all that we are as it does, letting in all in and letting all of us out.
Beautifully said Alexander
When we truly see another we are met with the reflection of ourselves, as we are all one and the same in essence. From this reflection we can feel the joy of meeting someone in their unique expression knowing they are just another part of the whole we form together.
Wow – What a beautiful comment Carolien! When you put it like that then we have nothing to fear from so called ‘strangers’. They are just people we haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet.
I have found that when you approach a person not as a stranger, but as a person or even a friend, even if it is just at the checkout at the supermarket, it completely changes the conversation – no longer is it awkward silence, or small talk for politeness sake, but a genuine conversation about them and their day and their life. Having worked in a coffee shop, the best customers where those willing to have a chat and smile and engage, and not be put off simply because we were strangers – and infact many friendships grew during that time. Perhaps the root of why so many people feel lonely is that they don’t make connection with people enough.
Mariette, this is a great question, ‘Why do we see people as strangers and what kind of effect does this have on our ability to connect with each other? Even the word ‘stranger’ carries a distance in it’, I have noticed that when Im feeling connected with myself and joyful that I love talking with everyone, whether I know them or not it seems like the most natural thing in the world, I don’t have thoughts that someone is a stranger I simply enjoy connecting with people and feel no difference between them and family and friends, if I am not feeling connected and instead am a little tired and have an unresolved issue for example then I do not have that same connection with people, i keep myself separate and do not have the same joy and ease with people.
I ponder about the people we do know and maybe see each day whether they be at home, work or locations and we refuse to connect to them because of an image we hold.
We hold on to many images and any image just stands in the way of a true connection. Great pondering Rik. Maybe that is why it is so important to meet everybody every day with a whole new fresh approach…true intimacy can only be there when we let go of images.
Beautifully said and a great reminder to take into my day – thank you Rik and Mariette.
Mariette your blog shows that when we are connected with ourselves and present in our body we can feel the connection and we will know who we have before us. In this we do not need the protection and we can show al of who we are to everyone. As you say we may not invite them all into our hoe what we can take the opportunity to truly connect always.
Today I asked one of my neighbours, who is somewhat shy, to help me out with something that was too heavy for me alone in my garden. ON the way from his backyard where I met him to mine we had a simple conversation about an injury he sustained and his job and I realised that this was the perfect setting for us to connect. It made me realise I can ask for support much more often to those around me and that it will support the building of relationships.
Thank you for this gorgeous sharing Mariette, your love for people is deeply felt in it and the joy of sharing yourself with everyone you meet is inspiring and gorgeous to be made part of.
I have always thought it amazing that the people who are my closest friends where once ‘strangers’ and therefor, every person in the world could become my friend, if our paths crossed. When I met someone in a shop or on the street, I can either ignore them because they are strangers, or I can at the very least smile, showing them that there are people in the world willing to be open, if not talk to them, which I love to do, asking people serving me at shops how their days has been, or if i have any questions, asking someone because it opens up a conversation and keeps people connecting.
Children know this golden truth of how much we are all deeply connected. With there innocence there is no judgement or protection there is only love and I got to feel this yesterday with spending time with a gorgeous two year old from a friend.
When I get to be around people who hold no judgement or protection, I can feel myself drop these guards too. This is in truth how we all want to live. It is our responsibility to live this way consistently too to allow another to feel this for themselves.
Isn’t that the most amazing feeling having no guards up. Surprising what a warm welcoming smile and a hello can do in releasing that held tension (in the jaw/shoulders) that holds us back. Perhaps that is what is strange, it makes others feel ‘stranger’ to feel that held tension in another.
It certainly does make life less complicated when we do not have to play so many different roles as we adapt to different levels of intimacy. When intimacy comes from our relationship with ourselves we become more at one with sharing who we are with everyone else equally.
‘When intimacy comes from our relationship with ourselves we become more at one with sharing who we are with everyone else equally’. Spot on Susan Lee.
I recently attended a conference where I didn’t know anyone. I noticed how different I am now in these kind of situations to how I used to be. I used to be so shy I would never open my mouth. Now I speak to everyone with no qualms at all and have lots of fun doing so. In this situation they call it ‘networking’, but to me it is simply connecting to fellow human beings. A glorious opportunity to do the most natural thing in the world.
Me too Rebecca, in the past I did not like that at all but now when I don’t know anybody, I just introduce myself and I love chatting with people. And yes, that is what is called networking but like you share, in the end it is about connecting where there is no end result that you need something from the other, but just being together and sharing a moment.
I recognise this shyness too Rebecca, I too would never open my mouth ( always felt insecure). Now when I go to a conference or where there is a large group of people, there is nothing for me to be insecure about if I am bringing all of me, staying connected with my body and my being, everything unfolds naturally and effortlessly. From the heart, sharing ourselves is natural.
‘Networking’ seems old hat now – perhaps ‘connection’ could replace that term, then until everyone gets used to that way of being the dictionary would clarify this as “A glorious opportunity to do the most natural thing in the world” Communicate – express from the heart. Not a stranger in sight. 🙂
‘I enjoyed what you said about ‘Networking’ Marion. It does seem old hat, distant and cold compared to the feeling of connecting which feels fuller, more alive and open.
I’ve found most of the interactions that I have with people I don’t know always start with me making the first move. It can be very easy to just let people slide by and I just do the task or job that I’m doing. It really is beautiful to take it one step further than just ‘hello’.
It sure is Matthew, and in my experience people respond beautifully to a simple ‘hello’. It’s like we are saying, ‘hey, I can see you!’ It’s so easy to go out our day on auto pilot, going through the functions and being caught up in what we have to do next – I find that saying hello or catching someone’s eye is like a stop moment that brings me back to the bigger picture – that I am part of something WAY bigger then my daily tasks.
I wonder, is it possible that in general we all tend to keep eachother as strangers as a way to protect ourselves from being emotionally hurt by eachother. And if this were the case, then I can see how we do this to eachother at home with family just as much as any one person outside of the home. It is perhaps a question of keeping people out or letting people in, no matter who they are. This does not mean being overly friendly when strict boundaries need to be in place, or allowing any kind of abuse at all what-so-ever. But maybe what it does mean is that there is a way, or a quality of interaction with eachother that we can have that does not involve great shields of protection that only cause further hurts themselves. Maybe there is a way to be with eachother on this planet, no matter who you are or where you come from, that is deeply harmonious.
Yesterday I had a beautiful experience with new people. I played with a 2 years old girl in a travel by plane, we were sharing the joy about our meeting. I was feeling her beauty and playfulness as a reflection of me. I let me be open with her while I was feeling me all the time. My body felt great, open and light. After that I engage with a woman at the train. We didn’t talk anything but we had several eye-contact moments, we smiled to each other. I felt something familiar, like at home travelling in another country. I felt so welcomed and grateful with this sharing.
I’m feel so inspired with the fact that we are a big family. We can connect with everyone from a place of respect, joy and openess. I’ve realized that this only happens when I’m connected with me, appreciating me and taking care of myself first. The level of intimacy with others is a reflection about the level of intimacy that I have with myself. I can’t love everyone if I can’t love to myself first. If I’m having thoughts and judgments about what people look like, if I’m feel insecure, contracted…I can’t share my light with everyone. I feel it is worth to try another way to be in this world with others because the amount of love that we hold within is huge! It’s ridiculous being suspicious and hold back our beauty with others.
‘The level of intimacy with others is a reflection about the level of intimacy that I have with myself’. Everything is always a reflection and a learning always bringing us a new awareness and from there we can chose to deepen our connection with ourselves which naturally deepens our connections with others.
Reading both your comment Jacqueline and that of Inma confirm our innate joy at being connected and that deep within we all hold that knowingness that life can be lived in this way. We are living at a time when this is being confirmed more and more and this is only the beginning of us returning to a way of living that respects and loves each person equally.
“If I’m having thoughts and judgments about what people look like, if I’m feel insecure, contracted…I can’t share my light with everyone. I feel it is worth to try another way to be in this world with others because the amount of love that we hold within is huge! It’s ridiculous being suspicious and hold back our beauty with others.” Wow Inma, beautiful sharing. We seem to think that we can measure the amount of love that we give to others. Yes to one and no to the other. That is not possible. Either we share our light with everybody or we don’t at all.
Linda I agree yet I still have this held ideal that people are strangers if I don’t know them. Perhaps if I let down my guard, allowed myself to be equally open and loving with everyone would I no longer have that lingering thought that people are strangers. I know when I meet someone and am open fully I don’t see them as a stranger. Perhaps in the not too distant future the word stranger might not even exist.
From reading your blog Mariette I can feel that equality is about an equal connection with everyone. We have many old concepts of who we classified as strangers – and like you I am beginning to see the world as my family, and this creates a feeling of at oneness with everyone. Feeling this as we go about our day and meet people on the street and in the shops it is amazing the conversations that can open up between two ‘strangers’ – who are not so strange after all.
yes, it is about the equality and also the quality we share with each other. For me it does not mean that I share just whatever but in the energy and the openness, it can all be the same.
It feels beautiful that you bring in the quality of what we share Mariette, as when I feel into this it confirms that it is not connection for connection’s sake but comes with a deepening relationship with ourselves and consequently with others.
What are the conditions that we place on someone about whether or not we let them in. I love what you have shared here.
In order to view the world as strangers, we need first to becomes strangers unto ourselves.
Wise words Adam and so true – when we feel estranged from ourself, our true self in connection with the all then the all looks and feels very unfamiliar. The connection with ourselves is always the key and reflection holds us in confirmation of our choice to connect or not.
It is very true the more we know ourselves the more we know others, could this be the very antidote to war? that if in truth we know who we are, then we also know another by that same inner light? War and disharmony would no longer be possible.
I feel that we are already judging someone who we perceive as a stranger to us as we have long held beliefs about what it is to be “strange” – the word we are simply adding an “r” to, to make a word that describes someone we don’t know. The power of the words in our language never ceases to amaze me and when misused the power of these words is destructive.
Good point Ingrid. I recently felt the impact of something that was said to me without an intention to bring down but I could feel that it did. What I am trying to say is that it is time we start feeling into words we have accepted into our language and use in certain circumstances just because we are used to it. We should become more aware of what we are saying and where we are saying it from.
I love what you share here Ingrid, great point and words do hold great power as you say, either healing or destructive.
Love it Mariette. There are no strangers in this world as when we know ourselves in truth, in essence we then know all, as we are no different in essence to one another. We are all Love. So we are only strangers with each other when we choose to measure how much of our Love we share and with whom. When we meet another openly with our Love, we are honoring and appreciating the essence of who we all are, which allow us to then enjoy the connection between us that is always available for us to explore.
I’ve had so many experiences in the past, particularly when I was quite shut down as a person, where I would find strangers, or near strangers open up and tell me their life story. This used to irritate me no end. Ultimately it was because I felt I was not worthy of being privy to their story because I didn’t know them and had no relationship with them. But that came directly from the walls of protection I had put for myself because I felt like I could not trust people and so I shared nothing with anybody and kept very very private.
So cool Mariette! You’re absolutely right, there are no strangers and that makes absolute sense to me, however I notice that I put on a different hat when I meet new people or have a brief encounter with someone I barely know. I’m more ‘polite’. I notice even my smile is different. This is changing slowly and I’m starting to be more of myself with a broader range of people as I become more comfortable with who I am, because it makes sense that we all just interact as one, normally without adding layers of protection.
I love what you share Elodie about becoming more comfortable with yourself. The more comfortable we feel with ourselves, there is nothing to hide and we can just be. What I notice with this, is that the other can also relax and just be. We are so used to all those layers of protection but that is actually quite draining. Taking off our different coats of protection leaves life very light and less complex..
I have always chatted very openly to people I have never met before often with quite interesting and surprising results. Yesterday I took my car for a rather expensive service and was just chatting away left right and centre to the person who received my car. She then gave me a top of the range loan car. When she rang me to let me know the car was ready I found myself telling her how I was buying a gorgeous red dress even though I had planned to buy a top and not a dress and yakked away, simply sharing myself with her. When I got back to pick up the car she told me she had given me a several hundred-dollar discount. A similar things happened during the day as I had the first meeting with some people who had flown over from China that we are looking to do business with. I already hugged them on greeting and we had a great time and laugh together. By the end we were best friends and our business deal was sealed. I have heaps of stores like most days and find the majority of people tremendously receptive, playful, responsive and loving to be met.
What I do find interesting is how often it is easier to share my joy and playfulness with so called strangers who seem to accept it, and how sometimes it is a little less flowing with some of the people who I have known longer. That is something for me to look into a little deeper!
Thats awesome Nicola, I often find it is about me being open and starting the conversation and from there the magic happens. Yesterday I was hesitant to start a conversation with our local postman as he often seems so busy and rushed but I did and he ended up telling me all about his wife and family it was a great conversation, he loved expressing and he left looking a lot lighter.
Last year I was planning to sell my car. I was in a newsagent and just started to chat to someone for no reason at all. She then asked me if I knew which was a good paper to buy as she wanted to buy a second hand car. I said funny mine is for sale do you want to look and she came out then and there, I took her for a test drive and she bought it. Magic happens all the time when we are open to it and each other!
It is indeed very strange to consider anyone a stranger when we are all so deeply connected.
So much has deepened in my connection this week with people after this blog has been posted. Reading through all the comments feels like such a healing. This whole week I have had so many contact moments and I could feel that there is no end point in how much we can let people in. It is a deepening every single day and it just shows that there is no limit to love.
And you are one of those gorgeous people out there in the world Mariette with a gorgeous reflection of how easy it is to connect with others.
“It feels very freeing to be in life like this and to share myself and my love with everyone.” Mariette I too know this feeling as I love it to be with people. In the moment I did not love to be with them I know exactly that something is not ok with me. This is my marker of how much I love myself – if I am not open I am contracted – no love. If I am open there is no contraction – lots of love. Very easy and very simple.
When we are estranged within our self everyone is a stranger. When we are open and loving within our self everyone opens to us.
Pretty simple Kathleen! That is so true. The more I open up, the more open I am to others!
That’s beautiful Kathleen and so very true.
So true Kathleen, and it actually takes effort to estrange ourselves from people. To stay open and loving is effortless the new surrender to Love.
Yes Kathleen, the ripple effects of self-love and self-appreciation has an impact on everyone we meet.
We have a greater capacity to keep people out when we don’t know ourselves that well. Developing a relationship with myself has without doubt, changed the way I am with others.
Like you Matthew, as I have realised that until knowing myself I cannot know another, I have felt more able to allow others into my life and that has opened the door to building real relationships where I can feel at one with myself and with the other person – and not surprisingly this feels so natural and freeing.
A very reflective post Mariette, and so true what you say about ‘strangers’ – a stranger is only a stranger (becomes strange) when what comes from them is not love. When there is love, there is instant friendship and knowing of the one home and family we are all from – LOVE.
I do remember when I was young and we had a Policeman at our school and he told us about stranger danger and that we had to tell a Teacher or grown up if we saw a strange person/man hanging around our school. Our parents would say the same also, don’t talk to strangers. I remember thinking as a child, what does a stranger look like?
Mariette what a truly lovely blog. I love that you have questioned the word stranger and posed that none of us are strangers, more than that we are all connected but have chosen not to feel this. It’s even interesting that we should be surprised by a level of intimacy from someone that we have just met, when really this is our natural way. The sadness in this comes when we realise that most of our life has been spent distancing ourselves from our connection. So that thank you for the reminder and the inspiration of how you are re-developing your/our very natural way of connection with others while deeply honouring yourself.
Mariette, your openness with everyone around you is gorgeous and something I would like to bring into my everyday.
We have people come and stay with us regularly in our home, some we know very well, others not so well. But everyone is treated the same. They are welcomed into, not just our home, but our family. It is really beautiful and I love feeling how embraced and loved people feel with this.
“Every day I meet new people, chat with somebody on the street, in a shop, in the gym, at work or in the tram, say hello to people in the park, make eye contact, ask the supermarket assistant how she is doing, ask my neighbour for support when needed, give a compliment to somebody or start a conversation. I feel more connected with all those around me, close by and far away.” This is a gorgeous way to live, Mariette, and with so much genuineness. You must be a breath of fresh air to everyone that you meet and have contact with.
Mariette, I love the way you present here the false idea of the stranger. We measure the degree to which we let people in based on the closeness and nature of our relationship with them – but we only do this because we are raised to do it, it is not our natural way of being with people.
I agree Kathryn we certainly do measure the degree of protection in how we are with people, how we feel safe to open up with certain people and with others we simply hold it all back. This is, as you say, not our natural way as it is honest and loving connection that we all truly seek. The more honest we are with ourselves the more we can openly and honestly share ourselves with others through which we can restore trust in our relationships and connections.
“Why do we see people as strangers…”. It has much to do with the fear that is instilled into us as children. Schools teach the ‘stranger danger’ ideal which makes kids treat everyone as dangerous when ninety nine percent are not dangerous. This just starts the protective barrier that we then carry with ourselves that shut us down from humanity.
Yes, we treat people as strangers or apportion how much of ‘us’ people get based on the closeness of their relationship to us. However, this is just protection, a protective pattern born from the hurts we’ve received from people in the past that we then project onto the ‘stranger.’ We give them a wall, a distance and a hardness rather than handing them the opportunity to hurt us. However, this cycle is in fact one great illusion. In truth, another person cannot hurt us, only trigger the memory and sensation of past hurts that we haven’t let go of. And in truth again, taking on and carrying those hurts in the past was a choice. No one can truly hurt us, we ourselves need to allow ourselves to receive their actions as a hurt and choose to hold onto them.
Interesting and valid point Matthew. i certainly was taught this. What if schools and parents taught kids to develop or maintain and use their ability to read people and feel if a person is safe or not?
Last week and yesterday I met a man in the bus to work. We instantly connected and talked all the way through, sharing details of our lives, work, our children and divorces. It was very pleasant, natural and it showed me that I can open up to a person, a man and just share what I feel to share in that moment. Especially the personal sharing, less than for example talking about our colleagues, felt very intimate and meeting this man had great impact on my day, leaving me with a smile on my face, as if I had re-connected to a long lost friend.
and that’s the beautiful thing Katinka you did re-connect to a long lost friend, not only the gentleman on the bus, but yourself through the reflection of that meeting. Very beautiful.
Beautiful example Katinka of how when we are open how easily it is to connect and share intimate moments with our long lost friends.
What a beautiful blog Mariette, thank you. I just realised and appreciated that for a long time I have met so called strangers openly, sharing as much of my life, feelings and experiences with people I have just met as I do with friends I have known for a long time. At moments that I share details of my life or what I feel right at that moment, I sometimes have a passing thought ‘is this too much?’, but then I just relax and trust that whatever is coming up to share is what is true and just there for me and the other person. It really has nothing to do with how long I’ve known them for.
This has also been my experience Katinka. I have the most amazing conversations with the people I meet and interact with. My butcher has given me a wealth of wisdom with me each time we discuss a life process. I walk away feeling like I have just chatted with a girlfriend.
I can relate to that Katinka, that you think oh is this too much, or sometimes I can even feel oh am I too much, but like you share, I just observe my thoughts and trust that what I share is exactly right for that moment. And true, time does not play any part in this.
I am starting to understand what it really means to let people in.
My current understanding is that I need to drop the feeling of space that I keep around me to keep myself safe and let myself feel where people are really at. When I do this, I feel my responsibility in being available in whatever way I can.
I like the way you explain this Emma. In this way the focus is on understanding others.
Thankyou Emma, this is something for me to ponder on today, especially the letting people in part, which if I am honest with, I still hold back, which is to do with feeling safe, as I always felt unsafe to express as a child….. time to really heal this and let it go.
Emma this is a great point – to let people in is in fact a responsibility we all have, only that way can we truly understand people and where they are coming from.
Beautifully said Eva and makes so much sense.
I am learning how our idea of protection and keeping ourselves safe by keeping other out is what is truly hurting us, not other people and their reactions. We cannot let the love we have out if we do not let others in, this seems to me to be a far greater if not our biggest hurt. Mariette is a very inspiring example of how her expressing and not holding back her love of people is naturally letting them in.
Trust is felt instantly upon meeting another. It is clear whether or not one would invite them into our home. The only time I still find myself wary is when people are on the road looking to hitch a lift. Usually it is impractical, either we have a full car or have to be somewhere in a short time, but even if not I am wary of this type of interaction because without meeting the person first, it is harder to gauge the level of trust; even stopping in the first place could be unsafe.
Yes Emma re hitchhickers, trusting is to do with trusting our feeling about the energy of a person i.e. their intention or motivation, things that we naturally clock and read instantaneously through the way they hold their thumb/arm out for example. In other words when we’re open and trusting, we can read much more than if we are closed and shut down.
I love saying what needs to be said in public places where everybody seems to be holding back. I speak to people near me in queues or in the supermarket like they were my friends; sometimes people don’t respond, perhaps they are so surprised they just stay quiet. But usually it opens up a warm and caring exchange about whatever the question is at hand. Equally, I am now more inclined to spark up conversations with people at gatherings who I may have seen many times but never truly met, rather than always speaking with the people I already know. Funnily enough, I find it harder to speak up in front of groups, sharing my experiences, but this is coming along too, with practice and simply saying no to the energy that tries to enter my body to keep me in contraction.
Awesome comment and job – I love breaking the ‘ice’ you can sometimes feel in different situations, and everyone loves it. Quite telling actually that we say break the ice, because that’s what is feels like when we are not chatting away like kids are.
Children are a great example of how they are with “strangers”, they do not just trust anyone but if someone feels trustworthy they are right there, completely open. They will be as intimate with a kid they meet at the park that they have known for 5 mins, as they are with their best friends.
True Sarah, I have observed children when they feel trust in someone they have never met before; completely open and themselves. It’s beautiful to watch.
So true, Sarah. It is inspiring to observe.
Very true Sarah, children are naturally open when they trust and then comes a point when they begin to watch how most adults relate to each other and they often start to copy the adults behaviour and get more and more reseverved.
So true – aren’t they the best of guides of how to be in this world of ours.
Always so much to learn from the little ones. Or re-learn rather – as we forget we once ran around with that knowing and openness and ability to discern straight away who we could and could not trust.
So true Sarah . I often work with children and love the feeling of instant family intimacy that happens so very naturally.
Very true Marika. Yesterday, I was babysitting for the first time, in my house a two year old from a friend of mine. We both wondered how it would go. I had no investment in how it would go but did look forward to having the energy of a two year old in my house. When she arrived she walked around my house looking and feeling my space, and I could feel this immediate acceptance and also a familiar feeling of family. Needless to say we enjoyed each others company.
I like the point you make Brendan as openness is not a 1970s love commune. It’s not an ideal of hugging everyone, it’s actually a movement and a living way that speaks to people without words and says, we are the same.
You raise some great questions Mariette – why should we be any less open or caring toward ‘strangers’ than we would toward family members? We should not measure love based on blood or if we have similar genes to someone.
Wise words Susie; ‘we should not measure love based on blood’, I totally agree.
I love how you have highlighted the many false beliefs we allow ourselves to build up around ‘strangers’, and how, even though we may not know the person, we are all connected.
Me too, Peter. It is a gorgeous reminder that the only barriers that exist are the ones we create.
We are all connected. We are all family. Feeling hurt by others is not an excuse to put up the walls. There comes a time to heal our hurts and let others in and let ourselves out.
I love this Mariette and until I developed more self appreciation I was not as open to seeing and feeling others as equal – truly equal. The work and presentations of Serge Benhayon have freed in me the space to hold all as equals so the smile, the meeting and letting others in has become joyfully natural!
On days that I am connected with me I am connected with all, no separation, only offering after offering for others to walk by my side.
Beautifully said Kim and so true! It all comes back to us and our connection to who we are. What we reflect is what we see, so if we are reflecting connection to the divinity we feel within then that is what people get and that is what we see. Divinity in all, equally and obviously.
What a beautiful blog Mariette, about letting people in. Ive spent most of my life shutting people out and am just realising the extent of this and how it affects my life and others around me. Im finding how amazing it feels to connect with others and how others respond to this.
Yes, Chris, I have found that too. I grew up feeling like I was looking at people and the world from behind a fortress. I have come to know that this fortress was built on the basis of me withholding love, Primarily from myself which then flowed onto all others. Nowadays, having smashed the fortress down, I can chat to people like they are family members and have value in my life, because they all do, every single person.
I don’t really see people as strangers, and I talk to everyone. When I get on a plane, I always talk to whoever I am sitting next to and I have made so many friends and connections all over the world because I have always been very open with people.
I love this blog and it reminds me of a time when I sat down at a cinema and said to the man next to me, hi, I am Rosie… what’s your name and he replied and then I said great as it is much nicer to watch a movie next to a friend than a stranger. We have since become friends and have been for over 7 years. You never know who you will meet if you are open to it.
This is gorgeous Rosie, and such a simple way to connect with people. Start with hi, my name is…
Wow thats gorgeous Rosie. Every interaction is an opportunity for a beautiful connection.
Inspiring Rosie…… and so true, ‘you never know who you will meet if you are open to it’.
Gorgeous sharing Rosie and it is so true – ‘You never know who you will meet if you are open to it.’ As within every one of us there is love and wisdom to share and learn from and celebrate together, through every moment of connection that we are open to.
Love your story Rosie, so easy and uncomplicated to open up and connect with someone. Great that you have become and are still friends.
A beautiful account Mariette – this sentence stood out for me – ’ When we meet somebody for the first time, at times we have this tendency to hold back, to be reserved’ – I would say that this is something most people learn already as very young, in fact we are encouraged to not be open to strangers, to be cautious and monitor who they might be before we consider letting them close to us. And on top of that, we read the body language of the adults, our role models, who have been running this pattern their whole life too so there are no true reflections that have taught us otherwise. Not until Serge Benhayon presented his teachings did I realise that nothing can really enter a closed heart – if we choose to keep people out to protect ourselves, we also prevent ourselves from love and true connection.
Marriete your blog brought all my trust issue up to feel (common theme at the moment for me). What I’m discovering is without trust love has no room to move. We try to protect the love we have by not allowing others in, only to discover that by locking others out we in turn lock ourselves in.
So true, Kim, and it becomes a painful existence absent of true love. This is not how we want to live, any of us. It is great to uncover this so changes can be made and love can flow more readily.
It is great once we start opening up ( dropping our protection and judgment we might have of other people) than it does not make a difference with whom we connect and we can be surprised what magic and beauty can happen.
So true Janina there is much magic to be explored through our connections with each other, we only need to be open to go there, to where the Love is.
Indeed so true, at times true magic at play.
The openness we have with ‘strangers’ really begins with being open and loving with ourselves first and foremost. This is the relationship that is the foundation for all other relationships. When we truly know and love ourselves, we are then able to love humanity.
Recently I needed to ring someone that I did not know to discuss something and I decided before I spoke with them that I would not hold back in any way. I opened up to the person and allowed them to get to know me and the result was incredible. We had the best conversation and we both felt like we knew the other at the end of the conversation. It was a beautiful experience.
Great sharing Elizabeth, and I have had similar experiences. I once had that with a job interview, it was the best interview ever, so open and honest. I did not get the job but that did not matter.
I absolutely love being open with people I have just met. There is a feeling of something bigger than our individual little lives and the sharing of the oneness of humanity. There is such a warmth in this.
I agree with you Rebecca, it feels very restorative and refreshing to be able to be so open with a ‘stranger’, and which by the end of the exchange you feel as if you’ve known them before… like a long lost friend. I love making such connections, it’s very building and confirming of brotherhood, the oneness as you share.
I agree Rebecca – me too and it opens the door so easily to connecting with others openly – love it too.
Pleased to see you also mention discernment Mariette – its not just having an open house policy for anyone and everyone, but meeting people with an open ness, as an equal, and reading how they are in themselves.
I think its the making eye contact thing that stops me dead in my tracks. I remember when I was growing up that I would avoid eye contact at all costs. It felt a little initmate, and a little exposing – people could actually see me! And as a result I felt self conscious. Roll forward 43 years, and its one of the things I enjoy most about an interaction – you can read so much of what is going on when looking into someone’s eyes, even if the words coming out are saying something different.
I recognise this Simon, I too would avoid eye contact with others as it felt very exposing but I had huge lack of self-worth issues, so I always hid myself away. These days, I enjoy very much looking into my own eyes in the mirror and observing how much they now sparkle – thus there is no longer a reason to hide them or avoid eye contact with others.
Thank you for presenting for all of us a version of meeting a stranger that blows all beliefs about meeting strangers away. And you do this without abandoning your common sense and your dignity. I love this connection and the trust that builds, it feels like hundreds of bridges.
Yes Felix we hear so many fear stories in the media about the worse case scenarios it imposes on us distrust and blows it all out of proportion, when in truth there are so so many people out there looking for true connection and expression.
So true Katie, when we are closed off to ourselves it is impossible to be open to anyone else. A very painful and isolating way to be.
There have been times in the past when through my reticence I missed opportunities to connect with people, but then being left with a feeling that something important had been missed, whether an opportunity to share a loving moment, give or receive a message or a chance to complete something with someone perhaps from lifetimes ago. These days being far more in touch with myself allows an openness with others which brings a joy and lightness into my interactions with people through out my day and the fact that we are all one big family becomes a tangible reality.
I agree Rosemary, the more I choose to step out of my comfort and connect to people, the more tangible brotherhood becomes. It becomes a lived experience that my body then knows within, and for me the trust builds, allowing more of me to be seen.
And it makes everyday life so much more enjoyable and rich, the fact that when we connect with others rather than just seeing them in their function and position, life takes on a whole other dimension.
I was walking down the street today to have a break from my work and a lady (a stranger) was walking the other way. In the moment she passed I felt a warmth towards her and I felt how we are all equal when we drop the ideals and beliefs.
Brings to me the picture that we are all walking around as if we are individuals haven forgotten that we are originally all one. So if that is the case imagine the dissonance it must bring in us keeping that picture alive. Talk about creating fertile ground for different forms of mental (and other) disorders.
I am with you on that one Matts, thinking you are individual, or separate from others is indeed ‘fertile ground for different forms of mental disorders.’
It’s lovely to feel your joy at connecting with people and deeply inspiring to read how you allow yourself to truly share you and the love you have with everyone you meet. What a blessing for them all to be reflected what is possible between seeming strangers.
Thank you Mariette for a great blog, I am gradually dropping my guard these days, and not only letting people much more, but letting myself out as well to meet people with the love that I have inside for humanity, beautiful moments of connection often happen.
Beautiful Jil, what a joy and a big present for all those people you meet.
‘Why do we see people as strangers and what kind of effect does this have on our ability to connect with each other?’ Awesome question Mariette and it all starts as children when we are told not to ‘talk to strangers’. This is one of the first messages that we give to our children.
Rather than teach them to discern energy we ask them to look at people that they don’t know as ‘strange’ and essentially block humanity. It’s all downhill from there on…
Spot on Kathryn, we are taught miss-trust as a way of survival.
Yes we are taught to see the person as a stranger, rather than seeing the energy that they are carrying. When we feel the energy we can also feel who they are. When we feel the energy we de-personalise it and do not judge. So we really in seeing someone as a stranger, it’s a judgment on another from a lack of trust in ourselves.
So true Kathryn. From a young age we are taught to discount our feelings, to not trust another. Even if we feel a loving warmth from another we have been conditioned to over-ride what we feel is true. With this we do become a stranger to our true selves and so to each other.
I see everyone as my family. Like right now on the train I am sitting beside my ‘sister’ and across from my ‘cousin’. It feels awesome and you know what? They can feel it too. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Kathryn, I’ve found that the more I understand that family is not biological but everyone I have a relationship with (and all those I am yet to) then it changes the entire way I relate, connect and communicate with people. This is especially true at work and reading your comment makes me appreciate how I can allow this to be even deeper.
Family is everyone I have a relationship with… yes indeed David, for this is the way of the heart, for we are in relationship with everyone and everything.
Haha, I love this Kathryn. Yes, I agree that people definitely feel it when we are open to connection.
Yes Janet, they feel it, its the openess in the body they cannot but feel. I am to this day inspired by feeling the openness and love Serge Benhayon carries in his body. It relaxes me and invites me to just be me.
haha hilarious, you rock Kathryn and yes, people feel it, you don’t have to say anything. When you are open, you communictate that with your body. Enjoy your train trips with all your relatives.
I was at the blood bank recently getting some blood tests. A woman was training to take blood, she was very nervous, tense and totally focused on the computer looking up prices for the tests before taking my blood. Her trainer was talking at her about what she needed to do. At first I was sitting judging the whole situation on how long it was taking…you know, precious time I could be doing my projects!!!. I then decided to let her in, connect with her and turned to her and said ‘hello my name is Mary-Louise what is yours’. In that moment of connecting with her, her body dropped. We then went on to have a very deep connection about how she was struggling to learn and contain all the information. I talked with her about staying connected to her body and gently breathing and listening with her body and not trying to remember it with her head. We talked more about how when connected to the body the anxiousness drops away. As we talked she dropped more and more into her body and as she said experienced no anxiousness when she took my blood. She was so extremely gentle and I told her so. When I went back a couple of weeks later she told me that what I said to her has supported her more then any thing in her training. We talked some more about the quality we come to work in and how this supports our day and I shared with her how to stay present when driving to work, she so appreciated our chat This woman could have remained a “stranger” had I not chosen to connect with her on the first visit. I could have simply remained aloof and got my blood taken by a nervous trainee and left feeling a little disgruntled with how long it all took.
That’s beautiful Mary-Louise…responsibility in action. We should never underestimate the power of connecting with another and seeing them for who they are and recognising that sometimes, what we present is not ourselves. The other thing that I love about what you have shared is how we can all support anyone we come across in our day who may be in a training role through our connection. Just beautiful.
Gorgeous sharing Mary-Louise thank-you. Just shows how easy it is to let others in but also how ‘precious’ this interchange was between both of you and how you being connected with yourself, deeply supported this women who can now support all those others that come for a blood test. It feels a perfect constellation you being there that day.
This is beautiful Mary-Louise, it just shows our impact and that in every given moment, like you share, we have a choice: do we stay aloof and just focus on ourselves and what we are doing or do we connect with those around us and leave a loving imprint. We are all living inspirations.
Beautiful sharing Mary-Louise. Great reminder that the opportunity to support ourselves and others is always just a choice away.
I love your blog Mariette, reading it reminds me that there are no strangers in our life, we are all so connected with each other it is impossible to regard someone as a stranger even if we haven’t met them before because once we choose to trust, love and be open we are like family. In your sharing it was so clear that you were deeply trusting, open and loving, so your experience simply reflected that. What a gorgeous story, inspiring us to trust ourselves and others.
And it’s the ultimate way for those that might be a bit lost in opening their hears to the world to once again trust that it’s safe.
What a different world we would have if even half felt and lived as you do Mariette. Thank you for sharing your love for humanity, it’s true I can feel how great it does feel to drop any protective guards that we tend to build around ourselves, and how freeing it feels when we let people in. After all, as you so beautifully remind us, we are all one big family.
How beautiful to imagine a world where people let go of their protection and truly let people in at the same time as letting themselves out. I can imagine many people would deeply love this but are maybe waiting for others to drop their guard first… which is why we need more people like Mariette showing them the way.
I love connecting with people wherever I am. I have always been amused by the London Underground where nobody makes eye contact and no body speaks. It is like an unsaid rule that commuters must abide by. I often start up conversations with people breaking the silence and find my journey becomes so much more enjoyable.
I know I feel the same Fiona, I love chatting with people and what I find is that just about everyone wants to speak, it’s just that someone has to initiate it.
By stepping out of our comfort and starting conversation with people, it becomes so exposing of the illusionary walls we have created and stories have made in order to not cross the wall of illusion.Starting random conversations with people is a great experiment to start, to see where these walls are, and what beliefs we have held, (note to self).
Thats my experience as well Matts, everybody wants to speak. Sometimes people just start chatting themselves. It is not so much about the words or what we talk about, but that we all have a deep longing for connection.
Mariette, your blog brought tears to my eyes, I love how you just connected with this man you had just met and allowed him help you with putting the mirror up. So often we can go into mistrust or doubt about intentions and by doing so miss a beautiful opportunity to connect.
Yes and the beauty is, I am still in touch with him. Not that we speak regularly but I have his number and I have called him another time when I needed support with something. And sometimes we run into each other on the street and I have also met his girlfriend, she has come for sessions in my practice. Amazing how things just flow, when we don’t try to control them..
When we are closed suspicious and protected that is what we feel have reflected back to us. It makes sense to be open honest and trusting with everyone we meet and naturally we are going to be able to learn more about people through our open communication and if this is not reflected back to us it is obvious they are not someone we would invite into our homes. This is such a simple clear blog yet not the way I often communicate with people I don’t know. I deeply appreciate this being highlighted.
Love the theme of the article, be open to everyone we meet and who knows where it could lead
It is gorgeous Joe, I agree. It is the way of the future.
Dear Mariette, if everyone saw “… the whole of humanity as their family” what a wonderful world it would be. Separation and inequality could dissolve and brotherhood could be re-instated as our way. “GREAT!” yes indeed.
What comes to me through reading this article is how we can have deep connection with a particular person, but we can also have deep connection with everyone we meet equally, through being open to what come along in life. What we call family and friendship often becomes about making allegiances, arrangements and making deals about what we are happy to talk about or not. Friends and Family can be amazing absolutely, I Love my Family and Friends, but for me relationships do not only include those I was born into, I have made arrangements with or people who don’t press my buttons. there is so much to enjoy and learn from breaking down our barriers to what we ‘think’ relationships are. Every interaction has a significance in our lives, we can chose what sort of significance it is…
I’ve really enjoyed reading your experience Mariette. Such a great confirmation to me about the connection and love that I can feel for people who I have just met them. Reading you I’m feel so inspired to be more and more open with everyone. It’s true that we are a big family! What a beautiful fact it is.
I’ve rememebered how easily the children relate to each others. Without protections or judgment. Children share the love openly with simplicity, that’s powerful.
I had this experience yesterday morning, I was taking a little film of this stream with bird song all around in the morning. I felt someone come up behind me on the lane. I felt to turn around and saw a man walking along with a large dog, both looked intimidating to the eye. In the past I would have been very fearful and shrunk away without feeling the quality within the person. This time I stayed me, no hiding, no shrinking and said ‘Good Morning’, he returned this and then decided to share that the place where I had been filming often has two small deer there at 6am often, we had a chat about this, I said gorgeous and thank you, we meet as equals, he walked off. I was intimate with a some one I had not meet before, he was open and shared something he really enjoyed experiencing, it was complete. We both healed and have a new marker of how men and women can interact and connect.
What you have said about connection and trust is really important, that you had this with the man instantly therefore he didn’t feel like a stranger. I feel there is an innate knowing within us if we know we can trust another person; it is just if we honour this or not, in how much do we truly honour ourselves and what we feel. Many times throughout my day I do not see people as strangers but as brothers, the willingness to be open and drop guards or protective invisible barriers we put up really helps with this.
Yes Vicky your comment brought home to me how Mariette’s connection and trust with this man is a reflection of her own deep connection, love and trust of her self. Very inspiring.
I agree Vicky, and it is well worth developing this innate knowing in everything we do, practise it in every interaction, learning to stay open here there and everywhere.
Yes Vicky, the willingness to be open and drop our guard or protective layer, invites another to do the same.. where we both allow each other in. Being like this is collaborative and unifying…. and as i’ve experienced in the workplace with my clients very productive and instils harmony in how everyone works together.
I agree, we are all equal, I used to be in a lot of protection particularly with men and they felt, it did not need words “For me there is no such thing as strangers, as we are all connected. Everybody is equal,” Now I am more open and honour that we are all Equal and we are All family, this doesn’t mean that I am reckless and do not honour what I feel when something doesn’t feel right to me, it does however mean that I am embracing more of the love an light that others naturally share. Beautiful article Mariette, thank you.
Lovely blog Mariette, what I find amazing is talking to people like they are my family and they are all the way.
This is beautiful Mariette and such a great reflection and feels so expansive and loving of life and everyone. The more I am connecting to and building a loving relationship with myself the more I am loving and building deeper relationships with others simply with each glance exchange and depth of being in every communication and gesture. The oneness of us all cannot be denied any more.
‘There is no such thing as a stranger’. What a brilliant way to start every day and how different the world would be if we all left our homes, closing our front doors behind us and being open to everyone we meet in this way.
Thank you Matilda, you have planted a seed, I will take this with me as I leave home this morning, and perhaps every morning from here on in, I can feel myself expanding already just with the idea of this.
Reading through the comments to this blog, I can’t help but think of that saying ‘stranger danger’ which we use to make sure that kids don’t just wonder off with someone who means them harm. There is a very valid reason for the caution, but there is a flip side … one that separates us from people. It affects me when I close off to people around me, and I can feel it when others do the same to me – when we do, we create this crazy world with 7 billion separate people, feeling lonely and being selfish. Ouch.
After reading your blog and then going about my day I realised how being in a rush stops people from connecting. I know this myself when I have felt in a hurry I have not bothered to connect to people in the way I normally would. Rushing stops us from feeling the awesome opportunity we have when we meet another. This is a great reason to stop, re-connect and breath for our next interaction can be one of joy and mutual understanding.
I totally agree Mariette, at the very moment we meet someone we can feel a connection and there is always an opportunity to open up more. I have had many experiences of meeting others for the first time and feeling like family. Recently my husband and I were out for dinner and I started a conversation with the family sitting beside us… by the end of the night and only a few words exchanged I felt to give the lady my phone number and she was over joyed and said she would love to connect further. We are all one humanity but often walk around pretending we are not. Thank you for offering another way to see each other.
What I have noticed from myself travelling and observing others is that when we go away from home – particularly to a foreign destination, we are more likely to say hello to strangers walking down the street or anywhere. There is something that feels really false about this ‘mixing with the local’ protocol, it is like we are getting some special outfit out of the wardrobe and wearing it just for a special occasion, but it could be that it is just showing how we would really like to be at home if we could take our guards down just like when on holiday.
We are strange creatures aren’t we going to a foreign destination and opening up to everyone yet while in our own back yard where we often see people we know by sight we often never speak with them.
Fumiyo thank you for sharing this. Having recently been overseas I definitely found that. It’s like home is our comfort zone from which we submerge ourselves into. When overseas or away from home there is no such thing and we understand that we do need to connect with people that we do not know. Sometimes even the people we share our lives with are the ones we keep as strangers. Very sad.
How very insightful of you Fumiyo, is true… on holiday or being away from our home country, we do indeed tend to be more open, relaxed, warming to people saying hello to them etc. as you say. This shows the way we are living, compartmentalised, making differentiation between every aspect of life that then becomes the way we hold ourselves and so another. No surprise then that with the levels of guarding so many of us do have, things like war, racism or any separative acts that create division, happen.
I can see from this blog how often the picture I have of others comes in the moment I meet them and that I need to keep seeing that this is the case and continue to move in a certain quality so that I am not met with the picture first which prevents me from seeing the person for who they truly are.
Lovely observation, I agree the pictures we often have concerning life can blind us from seeing and feeling what is really there. I know I have fallen for the pictures, so quickly that I am in it before I know whats happened…As you say, moving in a way that supports us to be present, be aware and feel connected with ourselves, exposes when these pictures arise. I have found it supportive consider that what I encounter is a reflection for me and there is something to learn, this is allowing me to unpick my habits and the pictures that attempt to flood my perception.
Great point Mary-Louise I know for me sometimes even before I have even spoken with someone I have gone into comparison and judgement and instantly into protection. On the occasions I stay open and express from my heart lovingly that is exactly what is reflected back to me, open honest and loving communication.
So true Mary-Louise, the image we have of another can be a huge barrier to us connecting with them. We have to let go of our images and just allow ourselves to connect heart to heart.
Great observation, Mary-Louise, as it is so true that it is common to interact with someone from an agenda of a judgment/expectation/image rather than meeting and seeing them without any projections from ourselves.
It’s wonderful how our fellow human beings can let down their guard and their willingness to connect when we reflect to them our own openness and willingness to trust. What a truly joyful experience to share.
How beautiful to be met by someone like you! Those ‘strangers’ get to feel your love, your openness and your trust. It allows them to drop their guards and offer the same to others.
Yes Carmin, this man now has the experience of being truly met and appreciated in an open and trusting interaction with a complete stranger, and what a beautiful experience he now has to share with others. Mariette’s blog inspires us all to share this openness and trust, until it becomes our normal way of being with each other.
Very beautiful and inspiring reflection you share Mariette. There is so much to be gained by being open to people and feeling the essence of who they are. There is no stranger – danger in this process because as you say you always respond to anyone honoring yourself first.
As we live on a planet with over 7 billion people and no matter what we do or where we live (mostly), there are people around us – this blog blows loneliness as a concept out of the water.
“For me there is no such thing as strangers, as we are all connected. Everybody is equal, regardless of where we come from, what we do, or the way we look.” Knowing this Mariette that we are all connected makes sense and we are aware of this but when we put up barriers to protect ourselves then the world seems a more fearful place to be . Early on as children we are told not talk to strangers, which I understand, yet children have a natural built in radar and can feel when someone is true or not and this is what we should be encouraging children to build and express within themselves.
This is a gorgeous blog Mariette, thank you for sharing you with the world.
Yes such a great point Mariette. Seeing people we do not know as strangers puts already something over them as them being possible dangerous, odd, strange etc. Yet when considering everyone just the same as we are it opens up a whole new way of living our lives. For myself I can feel I would be less protected and more surrendered in my daily life with all people I encounter and meet.
I love what you present in your blog Mariette and stopped using the term stranger a long time ago. Equally, I never use the word ‘foreigner’ to describe someone from a different country as it creates divisions, suspicion and separates. How can we be foreign if we hail from a singular source, God and are all connected one with another.
What you write applies to work as well, Mariette. So often we feel safe with the colleagues from our own team and consider the rest of the company as ‘out there’, whereas we are one working team with the whole company.
Well spotted Monika, or that a business person (say the shop keeper) is separate from us as a human being. Just put there to serve a need, rather than to interact with as a living and loving human being.
Last week I had a repairman for my broken oven in the house and the connection we had was the highlight of my day. While working he got an What’s App message that moved him and when I asked what was happening for him he shared how he just had become a granddad and how every picture of his grandson was like a love bomb in his heart. So there we were sitting on my kitchen floor looking at the pictures and celebrating together the wonder of a new life.
I agree with you Mariette, I talk to everyone I meet in shops, the street, the doctor’s waiting room, and so on, whoever they are, and I share with them and ask them about themselves. It is amazing how one little comment can lead to an in depth conversation or bring about magic moments of shared experiences. I feel I am bringing some love into people’s lives, and in return I feel warmed and lit up myself when they open up and I see their light shining in their eyes, and we are equal.
Such a wonderful and dear blog. It reminds me of a quote I once read and which always stayed with me: Strangers are friends you haven’t yet met!
What a great quote… It dismantles the protectiveness we can hold in our body which gets in the way of feeling a fuller connection with ourselves. Thanks for sharing.
I remember hearing that quote and feeling how lovely and true it was. Strangers are friends you haven’t met – it is ourselves that have put the barriers up to make other people strangers.
Showing us exactly what we deny ourselves when we put labels on people we don’t know and treat them accordingly, rather than meet them as they deserve… with all the love we are.
The mental concept of ‘stranger,’ the idea that we have ‘our special few’ and everyone else is either inconsequential or possibly even an enemy is a sure fire way to maintain a sense of separation and mistrust among us all. This doesnt mean inviting the world into your living room, but rather means we maintain an openness to understanding all we meet and offer support in those circumstances that if feels right to do so.
Mariette, I just loved your bio. I love being silly too and I just don’t do it enough. You inspired me to be more silly this evening…..thank you. Its so much fun being my silly self. And writing the word ‘silly’ 4 times in the one mouthful!
There is a gorgeous openness about reading this blog. There is so much joy in it. There are people who I feel I know straight away even though we have never met (in this life) and when I am open, there is an ease of conversation that is lovely.
This made me consider that how we approach ‘strangers’ is often how we approach ‘friends’ or ‘family’ in the sense that instead of trusting what we feel and simply being open to all relationships and all people – (not in the sense of inviting everyone to our home but just being ourselves and not contracting) – we often relate to family and friends on the basis of our beliefs about what family and friends represent, rather than feeling for ourselves what is true based on being ourselves and not because we are related by blood or associated by another connection.
“I don’t feel there should be a difference. If there is then I ask myself, and feel, what I am projecting onto that other person that I am not being as open with”. This is such a powerful awareness and question to ask. Thank you Mariette for this gorgeous insight and something I will start asking myself.
I love the fact that nobody is a stranger. We are all here on this planet together and we are all equal. I just love that fact. I often just start talking to people who I don’t know as if I were talking to a dear friend. My openness often encourages the openness in others, and I feel the shared connection of humanity in these little exchanges. I just love it. It lifts my day and probably their’s too. If we can’t talk to each other, who can we talk to?!
Stranger danger! That’s what I was taught at school which feels to me now like the feeding of a mistrust of others and for life. It may seem like a great protection and to a point it is justified in the sense of the harmful things some can do these days. But it is not a license to hold back who we truly are from all
We, by our choices helped create the world of ‘Stanger Danger’ which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy to close ourselves down from others. We need to give more credit to our children through their innocents we can remember how not to hold back.
Absolutely Joshua, it’s not a license to hold back who we are. As shared in another comment, a better way to educate our children is to teach them discernment of energy. We are taught to throw all strangers into a box of mis trust, leaving no room for us to feel what beauty lay inside, and in turn stop ourself feeling all the love inside us.
I agree Joshua. ‘Stranger danger’ is a catchy theory to help us watch out for any trouble or danger when we’re out, but it does not give us an excuse to hold back with everyone, nor does it justify mistrusting all those we don’t know.
I really enjoyed reading this blog and comments Mariette, it has been my experience that speaking to ‘strangers’ is a tonic in itself. If I have a day when I don’t feel to talk to people I do not know then that is exactly what I do – go and talk to someone in the supermarket, at the bus stop, park bench and having made an effort to do this I am finding I very rarely get a day when I want to withdraw from life, as I would have done in the past.
You are so right Julie. Opening our hearts to others is indeed a tonic.
You share a great tell-tale sign here Mariette and expose the ridiculousness of keeping ourselves locked away in protection … “if I do hold back and find myself judging or thinking that I cannot say this or that or be this or that, then I know that I have allowed in the false idea of the stranger, the idea that I have to be different with certain people and that I cannot be open and loving with those that I meet for the first time.”
What a gorgeous sharing Mariette, I can feel the joy from your writing in connecting with other people no matter how small the exchange is. What an inspiration for us all to be more aware to the people around us that we meet on a daily basis, as no matter who you are, we all crave connection.
Mariette I simply felt joy that women like you are discarding their guard towards men as strange and with discernment of course, opening up and treat them lovingly from the first meeting. This is initiating a huge way forward for humanity.
It is amazing what you can experience in life by just opening your mouth and connecting with people you don’t know. I am finding that people almost long for conversation in today’s go fast world where texts and emails rapidly replace speech.
When we eventually wake up to the fact that we are all one brotherhood and that karma is a very real thing, what you have shared here in your blog Marriette will be an everyday occurrence, and through this brotherhood we will know we are not supposed to be walking the earth like upright apes fighting for land and superiority but returning to where we came from in the first place.
Just because a few members of society have misbehaved, we now have the concept of “stranger” and not being able to trust one. When we shut down because of this, we rob ourselves of our most essential ability to feel where someone is at and what their intentions are. We are not encouraged to trust our innate wisdom but make it a rule “don’t talk to strangers”.
When we feel ourselves as the love that we are, it is easy to recognise this same love in another. Then, there are no strangers, only friends.
This is the key, Donna. Once we love ourselves we cannot but love others and see them as they are without the filter of protection or judgement.
That is a great point you make Donna, the more we are accepting of-, and open to- ourselves the more we can be this ways with everyone we meet.
So true Donna. How we feel about ourselves is how we see others, if we are able to trust ourselves we are more able to trust others. This blows the concept of teaching our children to never speak to strangers. How that can be so confusing to children as they see adults speaking to people they’ve only just met.
Beautifully said Donna… and what a gorgeous way to live and move through life with everyone we meet.
People only feel like strangers if we hold them at a distance and don’t open up to them. When we drop our defenses and let people in the time we have known someone doesn’t matter because we feel who they are and what they reflect and in that moment we can feel like we have known them for a lifetime or lifetimes.
Interesting to reflect on how much we can let people in…we may feel disconnected, not close to people, we seek intimacy and yet we may be holding the barriers up that prevent us feeling truly connected, intimate, loved and appreciated. As you say when we are able to drop them we can feel how others around us respond to this and do share and are often willing to be connected. And even if they are not willing to reciprocate, the openness that you have extended has been felt, and fundamentally the truth of that openness and love has been expressed, it is complete, no more is necessary. Lived Expression is from the body, so this love, openness and connection is lived by the person who shares it and in so doing they do not require anything from another. It is reminding of when we can get stuck saying ‘no you go first’… ‘no you go first’…some one needs to be willing to step out, drop the guard and be the love that they are….I realise I am telling myself these wise words, I am feeling it very deeply within me, to take further steps towards letting love in and expressing it. This is how we feel connected, how we feel more love, we see ourselves and all reflected in the world when we are not in protection, we let our guard down, and let love in and let love out, lovely – Thank you Donna.
That is true people do only feel like stranger when we hold them at a distance. My experience has been when I feel like a stranger from my true self that is how I hold others but when I feel a loving connection with my essence I express the love that I feel within me to the world and there are no strangers.
This article has left me feeling inspired and refreshed. At the beginning I just got to ponder the weird but devastatingly divisive thing we teach children and each other about ‘stranger danger’ – instilling a fear in us all of everyone we have never met before. This shuts the door on humanity and also shuts the door on our innate ability to feel or ‘read’ every situation and every person we interact with. If the mental ‘stranger danger’ construct is applied then we already have a judgment and rule to break through when we meet new people. All our friends were strangers before we met them…
How fresh, loving and connective is Mariette’s approach.
I love what you write about his mental ‘stranger danger’ construct. With a judgement we can’t ‘read’ and feel the person we encounter.
“All our friends were strangers before we met them…” goes on my fridge for this week. Let’s meet and connect with everybody and change the world by doing that.
This is a great point Matilda, and particularly important when we know that biggest threat faced by many children comes from people they know, not those they don’t know. Far better, as you say, to teach children to ‘read’ every situation and every person in and out of the home.
Great point Matilda! So exactly where does that fear come from? Is it that as parents living far from the trust they once so innately had as children, the trust in themselves that what they could feel from another was in fact their best authority, having been long closed off too, we see now a humanity of adults fearing by way of protection as a consequence of having lost their true compass.
Exactly Matilda. If we all go by the rule to ‘never speak to strangers’ we would not have any friends but this is not the case and if we teach this to our children in effect we are teaching them to not trust.
I like your invitation Mariette to consider how I approach people I have not met yet. There is definitely a difference and relationships are not as rich because of this. Thanks for the blog.
Yes I agree Joel. Mariette’s invitation to ‘let the world in’ is something that, practised by all, would change the face of humanity.
Yes Joel, I am used to first holding back and feel if it is safe for me to open up instead of feeling safe within myself and just be open with everyone I meet.
I have found that connecting with my eyes is very powerful and allows a beautiful confirmation from the other person about the connection, without any words being spoken. Sometimes people look away and that is okay too and lets me know that I may need to connect in another way. A great sharing Marietta.
.”I have found that connecting with my eyes is very powerful and allows a beautiful confirmation from the other person about the connection, without any words being spoken.” this has been my experience also Anne like the saying goes “the eyes are the widow to the soul” connecting with someone though the eye tells us so much about a person and can offer a deep knowing without any spoken words.
I love this blog Mariette. Beautiful connections can be made in any moment of our day, if we are open to them in full appreciation of who we are.
Most definitely Kelly, I can be a great deal of fun just meeting people without any hang-ups or barriers.
My experience is that when I am open to people there is a magical constellation of meeting just the right person in that moment.
Beautiful Diana and yes I have experienced this too and then they don’t feel like a stranger at all!
That is such a beautiful approach Diana, to know that there is no coincidence and that the people we meet are there to reflect to us exactly what is needed at that moment.
Or you are there to reflect to another exactly what the other person needs for their next point of evolution.
When we see life this way, each moment becomes a gift, a present to ourselves. Who wouldn’t want to make the most of that?
Yes, I agree and I too have experienced this magic. It is amazing what openness brings to our life when we live it.
I have the same experience – the moment I let go of control, life including the people are coming towards me, I don’t have to do anything. Then life becomes magic.
Beautifully said Diana. Keeping people out is an age old ill humanity has long endured. It never truly works.
True Diana, when I am open the world is opening up too and I get the reflection that is needed or I am there to reflect me for someone else.
Marietta you have reminded me to be discerning by feeling the energy and not discriminating by outer image, when being open with everyone just not strangers.
Absolutely Merrilee don’t judge a book by its cover desern, desern, desern “energy is everything”. There is lots of beautiful content in some what might appear to be rough, hard covers out there.
Gorgeous Mariette
“Why do we see people as strangers and what kind of effect does this have on our ability to connect with each other? Even the word ‘stranger’ carries a distance in it, where it feels strange, or even odd, that I could not allow myself to be fully open with that person, just because I have never met them before.” This invited me to look up the origin of the word Stranger and in quite a few explanantions it shared that
” the word ‘hospitality’ has one of its Latin roots , ‘hospes’ which is related to the word for ‘stranger’, and this is what the ancient hospitality was all about. the act of welcoming a stranger into the homelies at the heart of many stories not only in the bible but Greek and Latin mythology. There was widespread tradition not to neglect welcoming a stranger into your home , for you may just be entertaining angels without even knowing it. ”
This feeling is reflected in the many responses to your blog that the “strangers’ we meet along the way are infact not strangers at all but family we have yet to meet. And as Adam and Lianne so beautiffuly expressed “deep at the core of every human being is love” and “love knows no boundaries” and opening ourselves to this possibility and living from our own light allows our connection to everything, naturally and equally.
‘There was widespread tradition not to neglect welcoming a stranger into your home , for you may just be entertaining angels without even knowing it. ‘ Is an awesome contribution to this blog and all the comments…..
Chrissy -thank you for sharing about the origin of the word ‘stranger’ linked with hospitality. This is beautiful and so true, – we never know when we may be touched by grace in the most unexpected ways by even a brief encounter with another in our lives.
“There was widespread tradition not to neglect welcoming a stranger into your home , for you may just be entertaining angels without even knowing it”.
Yes thank you Chrissy, I loved feeling what you were able to connect to. This we all know to be true, as when we stop and peel any of the outer layers built over time to keep us in an idea we are safer that way, what we come home to is the love we are, and in that we are all one – and there aint nothing strange about that!
Mariette I enjoyed your blog on exploring the word ‘strangers’ we use for people we have not met yet. When you open up to conversations with everyone you realise we all have something to share and contribute to our world and in fact we are all connected. Being ruled by fear of the ‘strange’ unknown has kept us in separation for far too long.
I agree Merrilee, attaching a word like ‘strange’ or ‘strangers’ only feeds the separation, and a way of seeing others different than ourselves. It has been my experience that the more open I am with people the more they trust me and we all win that way.
This is such a great blog Mariette, showing the simplicity of connecting with people, one of the most important things in our lives, because life is all about people.
I totally agree Diana. The purpose of life is to return to brotherhood so connecting with people is our first step.
It’s crazy that we spend so much time focusing on pushing children with maths and English etc. with so little importance put on the way we connect with ourselves and others.
I can absolutely relate to this: “when we meet somebody for the first time, at times we have this tendency to hold back, to be reserved, maybe to judge the other by his or her appearance, how he/she acts or behaves and how he/she responds to us” – both being on the receiving end and also doing it (a lot)!
I agree Jessica! these type of interactions create so much tension within ourselves. Every moment can be lived in truth, and everything we need to know is given to us, but sometimes when I am not connected with truth I feel like I’m scrambling for anything and anything to not feel the tension!
Very inspiring Mariette… “This blog is inspired by Universal Medicine and all those gorgeous people out there in the world that I meet every day.” And what is amazing when we meet people in this way, is that that love, joy and gorgeousness comes back to us too – sometimes from people we have met and sometimes from someone we have never seen before, and this makes life so magical and a joy to be a part of.
Yes as Mariette said, we will not let anyone in our house, and yes there are people that we do need to take caution of and be responsible about our safety absolutely, but when we are open to people, we also feel if that person is so hurt and protected something may not ‘feel right’ and that we also need to listen to, but that does not mean we have to shut down to everyone who is considered a stranger…sometimes people we know well feel like strangers…so maybe what stranger really means is someone who we have not really connected with so we don’t get from each other what connection really brings, we only meet from a superficial level.
“Taking the ‘old’ belief of the ‘stranger’ out of my life more and more, allows me to be more open, spontaneous, joyful and deeply connected with everybody and this feels great. I am now connecting more to all of humanity – I see the whole of humanity as my family! GREAT!” Absolutely, Mariette, I have found that I too have been experiencing letting go of the ‘stranger’ idea and connecting more and more to people that I had never met before, since I became more and more aware of the fact that we are in truth all one great family. This had made such a huge difference to my life in my openness with people that I may meet anywhere during my daily activities. It has especially been the case with individuals that I may be sitting next to in a plane in my travels a number of times a year. I used to bury myself in a book whenever flying somewhere, did not interact with others other than to maybe say hello. Now I find it amazing the connection I can feel with the other person in many cases, and on a number of occasions we have had quite deep discussions on what is going on in the world. This is so much better than hiding myself away in a book.
Dear Mariette,
This is a beautiful sharing, I love how through simply talking about what you were doing and needing in the store that another offered his help and support. This I feel is what is truly missing in our lives on a moment to moment basis, allowing ourselves to simply talk about all aspects of our lives, as they are, and being open to what comes from this sharing with all others, wether they be known to us or having just met.
It’s a funny thing, but even those we know we can treat as strangers as we put people in boxes such as friend, colleague, boss, neighbour etc etc and then we relate to them accordingly on how open we will be with them….when we do connect with people regardless of the category we put them in, we are all the same, when that connection happens because we go beyond the image, the box into the inner of the person, and there we find something known, and that is our connection to each other’s ‘humanity’, our essence and we love being there when were their.
Some of us may not be able to connect like that because we have put up barriers to protect ourselves from being hurt, yet the greatest healing is actually opening up to each other, opening up to ourselves and like Mariette, it becomes a joy!
This is such an interesting point, Karoline, that we categorize people and treat them according to what category they are in, instead of connecting to them as a person and stay open no matter what. We tend to relate to the outer box and relate to that instead of the energy from the inner heart.
What a celebration of humanity Mariette, the joy of seeing that we are all part of the same family!
Given we are all sons of the one God it is ludicrous to not live the true family humanity is. I had no concept of this until I started to attend Universal Medicine Workshops. Even then, it has taken me over 10 years to know that we are all family and that we need to love and treat all people the same.
I love your comment Karoline as it shows that in every meeting we have, the connection we make is a celebration of humanity and the oneness we all are.
Mariette, I love what you are sharing here. There is such an artificial way of being that creeps in when we behave in one way with one person and another way with another. Why not bring the same openness to all? In fact, there is one time of the year when people seem to suddenly allow this to happen – this is during Christmas. It seems that at Christmas people suddenly open up and decide that it is OK to look people in the eye, to treat them like family, to open themselves up, smile and let people ‘in’ (into their hearts). But my question is, why do we reserve this for Christmas, why not be like this with each other all of the time? We know it is indeed possible to do, yet we choose to reserve this to a certain time of the year and for a short period of time only. Mariette, you have indeed busted this myth and in the process you have brought what many might call ‘the christmas spirit’ into lived activity outside of Christmas! For this is what we all can do: be open with each other. Of course as you have shared, it is not about inviting everyone into your house, as not everyone will be open in turn and some will choose a more narrow minded way of being that could be damaging to those around – but to stay open to the person whilst saying no to the behaviours that are inappropriate is a blessing in itself.
Interesting point, Henrietta, that at Christmas time we open up more, it’s like we all then have a common ‘purpose’, something in common, when in truth we have a connection all the time. In Norway there’s this culture that when people are out hiking in the mountains, then everyone says Hi to each other or chat together, but as soon as they are back in the city, they look down and are closed off.
I loved reading about your experience Mariette. It makes it easy for me to see that none of us are truly alone and we do not have to ‘do it all’. We all have a reflection to offer and something to contribute.
My wife is great at chatting with people and I thought I was more reserved, but when I visited old friends we went shopping and my friend afterwards reported to her partner “that Christoph chats with EVERYBODY” which quite surprised me. Mostly I just connected and not a lot was said but that was a new experience for my friend.
This is key, Christoph, to be open to people does not mean we are sharing our life stories with everyone. It is a way of being that is ready to make eye contact; that is aware of people around us; that naturally has moments of perhaps wordless but totally warming smiles and that connects us with simple heartfelt greetings.
This Christoph, shows how your natural way of being and connecting with people was a whole new experience for your friend. That is a visit your friend will not forget and a great reflection and invitation to open up to people.
Mariette, you speak my language here so beautifully. I too feel we are all family, and yet I know there are certain relationships where I hold back sharing the fullness of me, but most definitely I can feel this changing and I celebrate every moment where I am opening up and expressing more.
Thank you for reminding me just now Anna to appreciate the moments that I do open up and express in manner that brings evolution instead of focusing on the times that I didn’t. Expression is everything but so is appreciation :).
I really enjoyed reading your blog and hearing about your experience. I do love when you have those moments in life that are like this. I can feel on days where I am more open these kind of things constellate and on other days where I am in an issue or hurt by something I then miss experiencing the beauty in others.
I find it interesting in those moments where an issue or a hurt gets in the way of me being open and connecting to another I sometimes walk away feeling more hurt by a knowing that I lost an opportunity to truly connect, than by what was stopping me from connecting in the first place… like I feel the enormity of a moment now lost. Its ridiculous the potential or possibilities of what we deny ourselves and others when we keep our guards up.
I too feel humanity as my family and it feels great. “It feels very freeing to be in life like this and to share myself and my love with everyone.” I agree, I make new friends all of the time by being open and me and connecting with everyone I meet. Thank you for sharing this story Mariette, I love how this man hung your mirror for you, a pertinent reminder of the amazing reflection of love you are sharing with everyone you meet.
I love this Mariette”Taking the ‘old’ belief of the ‘stranger’ out of my life more and more, allows me to be more open, spontaneous, joyful and deeply connected with everybody and this feels great. I am now connecting more to all of humanity – I see the whole of humanity as my family! GREAT!’ You are a GREAT inspiration in my life! And I fully agree there are no strangers.
Your lovely blog reminds me that as a woman in many situations I keep a safe distance from people I don’t know. From dreading to let someone with car trouble into my car, picking up a hitchhiker to feeling threatened by strangers while walking in the street in the dark. I feel stories about rape, being mugged and murder feed fear and leave a feeling of vulnerability and I am aware that they keep me cautious around people I don’t know. Unknowingly this caution might continue in seemingly safe situations. Living in a society where things can get really bad I feel we separate more and more from eachother and keep to ourselves and the ones we know. Billions of people pretending not to see eachother walking around with closed down hearts all craving to be loved. We all have that in common, we are all the same and we have so much love to give. You trusted your instinct Mariette and let a ‘strange’ man into your house. Let’s invite the whole of humanity into our houses (not all at once 🙂 ) and into our hearts and become aware of the reasons behind our choices. A different society starts with the actions we take as individuals. Let love lead the way.
“Let love lead the way.” Beautiful, Ilja, that is the way for us. And let us all be more open to letting others into our lives. We don’t have to necessarily have them all into our homes, but surely we can trust our own internal knowing on this, like Mariette did. The main thing is to stay connected to our innermost and the truth will be there. Lets have true and open connections with all we are in contact with.
Yes Beverly I agree surely we can trust our own knowing on this, as a society we drum stranger danger into children cutting them short of interaction and therefore the love of humanity when in truth they are so sensitive and able to read people and feel for themselves who is truly a safe person and who is not. By us stepping up and letting humanity in how children will feel safe to grow up knowing it is safe to do the same. Open communication with our children about what they feel when they meet people is important even when it is family members our children don’t feel safe to let in.
This is beautiful Ilja as you talk about a very important subject how we have learnt to not trust strangers as you described – all the bad things that have happen in our world and close down our hearts, keeping our hearts open to only those we know. We can keep our hearts open to each other, in that we are not saying to not be responsible about our safety…when our hearts are open we know and feel when something is not right, it comes from our bodies, not our head where we mistrust everyone even if they are completely safe to be with.
I love ‘Let’s invite the whole of humanity into our houses (not all at once)’
Yes Karoline that is so true. When we choose to stay connected with our bodies and we keep our hearts open there is nothing to fear for we can simply know and feel when something is not right.
Yes, it is all these fears that are evoked in us and that we are surrounded by from young on, that makes us shut down and not trust one another, never truly discerning whether that particular person is trustworthy or not. And that in turn hurts if we genuinely want to connect and someone shuts us out just in case, which then leads to more shut down on our side, because we do not feel seen. It is a vicious circle that we can only get out of by taking a leap and risk it again and again and again.
I agree and it is a risk well worth taking Judith. I myself am still learning to observe what is really going on inside me while engaging with other people instead of instantly reacting from my hurts again and again.
For me the more I have come to know and understand myself the more I have felt open to the connection between me and everyone else; in order for everyone else not to be a stranger, I first had to know me.
Absolutely Michael, i love the truth of what you have said!
That is really cool Michael, and a really good way of looking at it, for the more we know ourselves the less we have to hide behind something we are not which is someone with barriers of protection that naturally keep people at bay.
Yes, Michael, if we are a stranger to ourselves, how can we possibly have a closeness with another? Also, the more love we have in our lives the less boundaries and protection we put up.
Agree Michael, The more I am appreciating and accepting myself the more I appreciate and accept others and want to connect with them.
I agree Michael, when I was living very hard and disconnected with myself that was naturally my reflection to the world and therefore for the most part what was reflected back to me. Since learning to re-connect with myself and love myself more deeply, open my heart to humanity and reflect this openness that is exactly what is reflected back to me.
When I worked in a bar in Greece they had painted on the wall the saying ” there are no strangers here just friends we have yet to meet” I loved this as in truth we all come from love and are the same inside.
That is gorgeous to read Samatha, and so true: ‘ there are no strangers here just friends we have yet to meet’.
This made me smile Samantha – it is so easy communicating with others with this as a reminder ” there are no strangers here just friends we have yet to meet”.
The great thing is we can be like this with everyone without having to drink alcohol to break down the perceived barriers, then there is a deep level of true connection in the communication with another.
This is such a lovely way to look at people they are all just friends that we have yet to meet. At the end of the day we are all one big family.
You are so right Samantha, we are all strangers only once
Dear Mariette I love You sharing Your experience and just trust your feeling/knowing of the loving connection. It is a great example that inspires me to start conversations with people that I meet for the first time on the way through life with no need to see each other again…no investment just celebrating the moment together in full presence…enjoy the moment…the connection…the love 🙂
Yes I am practising that too Brendan, and I find that often awesome conversations can take place, and other times just a genuine smile can be shared. Meeting people on an equal basis opens up so much for all of us.
Mariette, the other day I was walking around in an event full of people. And I thought to myself – isn’t it strange how these people are all something to someone, yet at this moment, we are all strangers. You make an amazing point that it is very easy to meet and be with people simply because we are all connected. Sadly the easiest way to connect to someone is through a transactional relationship; they are doing work for you therefore you open your home to them right away – or through exchange of business – but what about simply just chatting to someone whilst waiting in line, or even just someone down the street. We have a fear of doing this when there is so much to say. It reminds me how we have capped our expression to be individual and private in the world rather than honour the fact that we are all connected.
Great points Hannah, I have a friend who regardless of where she is she will talk with anyone and is very open to them. Its like she carries this feeling of family anywhere she goes and people just open up to her and love this level of openness. It doesn’t make sense that we all walk around shut off from each other when everyone is craving this.
Hannah it’s profoundly humanising to connect with people who come into our homes to carry out work. Workmen have told me how it feels to be in a home and not related to as a person, merely someone there to do a job. It is beautiful to connect with and get to know each person that comes into our homes often these relationships can last for years and friendships grow. Equally, I love opening conversations with people when I’m out and about. An example of this is whilst visiting a care home, I opened up conversation with carers, learned as much about them as people as they did of me.
I have been giving this a go – talking to people when I am out and about. At first it felt awkward, but now it is flowing with more ease and people are responding to being connected with from a complete ‘stranger’. Just the other day I stopped on a walk and chatted to a man working in his front yard. In this exchange he gave me an absolute pearl of wisdom that helped me understand more deeply an energy I was exploring in myself.
I agree with you Mariette there is no such thing as a stranger it is only that we have estranged ourselves from each other and have made this our normal living thus we feel we are separate and foreign to each other but truly we are not.
I really enjoyed reading your blog Mariette and your perception of there being no ‘strangers’. As you describe it is a joyful experience treating all we meet during our day as friends not strangers, these loving connections and interactions are what life is about, staying open and sharing the love around.
I know i use my openness to people I haven’t met before as a marker how on how I am. I agree that there is no such thing as a strangers as I constant find myself in moments that being with a complete stranger is so natural. People person right here! :P.
The fact that we call people we haven’t met before strange is a set up in its self. Think about it, people who we haven’t met are automatically ‘strange’. Doesn’t this show how we have let our language isolate ourselves?
Of course some people are violent and you wouldn’t allow them into your home but to set the lowest denominator as the common denominator is a grave mistake that seperate communities.
Wise words here Luke ‘…to set the lowest denominator as the common denominator is a grave mistake…’ and I agree.
Awesome sharing Luke – I love it! I love how you have said that we cannot shut ourselves out from the whole world, just because we have been hurt by the violence and disregard of a few (or sometimes many) – for really it is about saying no to the behaviour and not to the person. A person is never bad or evil, however it is the choices we make in our behaviours and expressions that can bring much harm to ourselves or those around us and hence this is the only thing that needs correction.
And, Luke I might add about the use of language in particular the word ‘stranger’…
Sometimes we hear ourselves greeting someone we have not seen in a while and we might say ‘Hello Stranger’ – this symbolises the fact that we have not seen them or been in touch with them for a while (however short or long this ‘while’ can be). Sometimes it can feel like a distance has grown between two people when they have not been together, but usually this is a sign of a disconnection that has happened on some level and then the person walking back into your life triggers the awareness of the disconnection – which is a healing in itself.
On a completely different note, I love the openness of dogs and their unconditional love (which often can be seen in young children too) – you leave the room for 5 minutes and on your return, they great you like they have not seen you in a while. This is a great reminder and a reflection to rejoice in every moment with everyone, not matter what.
Dogs most certainly are great reflections for their humans, where we don’t ever see the kind of ‘don’t be a stranger!’ on their goodbye from the dog they’ve just met on their path, there is no goodbye, only hello, hello, oh hello…..
I agree with you Luke, the word ‘stranger’ carries a forbidding connotation, I am finding that I really don’t like the feel of that word. It brings to my mind the combination ‘stranger danger’, that I heard in the past as a warning to mothers regarding what to teach their children. It was suggested that all parents taught their children to fear strangers, have nothing to do with them. It feels awful now to me, seems to me that we need to bring up our children to stay connected to themselves and trust their own judgment on who to trust, not just avoid all strangers. Young children have an innate knowing of who they can trust, maybe we should listen to them.
I love what you say here Luke, we cannot “set the lowest denominator as the common denominator” we really need to set a higher standard for everyone to aspire to.
Yes Luke, openness is a great everyday marker – everything is there to reflect back to us in one way or another, basically either healing or harming.
If we all lived life from the truth of knowing we are all the same in our core essence, whatever the differences in our outward appearance or country of origin, the word ‘strangers’ would not be possible to remain in our vocabulary!
It is true Luke, the bastardisation of our use of words and language does bring different meanings and causes separation between us.
“Think about it, people who we haven’t met are automatically ‘strange’. Doesn’t this show how we have let our language isolate ourselves?”
I agree Susan. The word stranger does not feel so open and welcoming. It is wise to warn children to not speak to strangers however I do feel that this has been somewhat overdone in the way it has been delivered at times. And from this I am sure many of us carry the imprint in their adult bodies that strangers are not safe hence it causes us to be hard in our bodies when this does not need to be the case as your blog beautifully shared.
Thank you Mariette for sharing your experience with the man in the shop. The man could feel your openess to him and was therefore able to open up to you. It makes such a difference if we stay open and allow things to flow.
For the past hour and a half a group of six women have come together and communicated openly and honestly with each other. It has been gorgeous to honour ourselves in this way and deepen our inner connection and understand the games we play to keep us separated form ourselves and others. We all felt expanded with particles-a-jiggling well and filled with joy of simply being with each other without judgment or holding back. As you share so beautifully Mariette, this quality is what is available to us with every person we meet, every moment of our lives.
“Taking the ‘old’ belief of the ‘stranger’ out of my life more and more, allows me to be more open, spontaneous, joyful and deeply connected with everybody and this feels great. I am now connecting more to all of humanity – I see the whole of humanity as my family! GREAT!”
“I am now connecting more to all of humanity – I see the whole of humanity as my family! GREAT!” Beautiful post Mariette. There is an old saying that a stranger is a friend whom we haven’t met yet.
I have always loved this saying to sueq2012; ‘A stranger is just a friend we haven’t met yet’
“Do we protect ourselves because we don’t know the other person? ” Could it be that we protect ourselves because we would feel the enormity of our love for everybody – no matter who they are – equally . Then we could not deny the truth of what we felt, in our body. Our beliefs and images about love would be blown out the water for the false truths that they are, and we would once again know (deep down we have never forgotten this) we are all one and the same, equal Sons of God.
‘We would feel the enormity of our love for everyone’ and ourselves… we would then see that our every interaction with others and our every choice in the way we take care of ourselves is an opportunity to acknowledge, confirm and live this fact…or not.
It is the layers of protection that inhibit us from feeling that we are all equal. When we let down our walls of protection, there is nothing that then stands between two people. And if we open to feeling that space between the two, we realise that the space between the two is the same space that lies within our body and that in truth there is no separation that we all equal Sons of God.
Your words are so divine Donna – on a deeper level we are all the same. It is so crazy that often we behave in a way, if we would be different. And it is often about right and wrong, a perfect setup not to be ourselves. Love and space is the answer to be just what we are – love.
Thank you Mariette, that is beautiful! We are no strangers, we might be little less familiar with someone as their physical appearance is new to us this life, but the inner being is something we can all refer to and know.
Its so beautiful how you express so openly and truly willing to get to know everyone, that is a true and beautiful quality of you.
Awesome blog Mariette and thank you for sharing your experience here. the word stranger does immediately create distance and wariness, as if one has to be on one’s guard. In Germany there are bed and breakfast places that advertise guestrooms for rent as “room for strangers”. As if strangers do not belong…
” maybe to judge the other by his or her appearance, ” this is a massive thing we do as a society, I know I have been part of this. It’s deeply ingrained, harming and can often lead to comparison and jealousy. God does not judge, so where do we allow the arrogance to think it’s okay for us to judge?
Last week I was being served by a lovely guy who had a massive tattoo on his arm saying “Only God can judge me”. When I noticed it I simply said ‘you know God does not judge? He was open and understood what I was saying.
Judgement of ourselves and others is deeply harming yet has been such an ingrained part of society for too long. As we give up judgement we allow for true healing and magic to occur.
I love feeling the joy you have, Mariette, in opening your heart to all the ‘gorgeous’ people out there in the world. It is refreshing to read this blog when so many in the world are shutting down and living in protection.
I agree Janet… Mariettes reference to all the ‘gorgeous’ people in the world touched me also. It is true that each one of us has so much love and joy within – the more of us who are willing to share this with the world, the more others will see and feel that it’s ok to do the same.
True Janet it is refreshing to feel the open loving heartedness of Mariette, it is definitely the opposite of how most of us live our llfes.
I too loved the joy that flowed from Mariette’s blog. Her delight at trusting the connection to this man, not seeing him a stranger, is such a wonderful example of living with an open heart to which others feel and respond accordingly, is as you say, “refreshing”.
Mariette thank you for writing about the topic of “strangers” its one I’d not really considered. I love chatting with people I meet and don’t consider them “strange” yet I certainly have a belief or two about “strangers” the fact I don’t know people. Yet in an instant I can feel all about a person and surely thats far more important that finding out what football team they play for. If we make energy and feeling the quality of energy a foundation in our life then I can certainly see their is no such thing as a stranger.
This blog has also made me reflect on how I can still be reserved with people I do know, family included. Sometimes it can be easier to talk to a stranger because there is no history, unresolved hurts or expectations. You have certainly provided much for me to ponder on Mariette.
Yes the word ‘estranged’ comes to mind, someone we used to know and through whatever circumstances, choose to not know anymore on the level of previous connection. How ‘strange’ that we become ‘estranged’ rather than dealing with the issue and rebuilt true connectin …
I agree Debra it is easier sometimes to talk to a stranger due to the fact that there is no investment, and if that person rejects us or hurts us it is easy to say ‘that person was a stranger and I hardly knew him/her so it doesn’t matter’. So we brush ourselves off and carry on.
That is a great point, Julie – the lack of investment allowing us to be more open with people. So, it is not about whether we have met them before or how much we think we know them, it is our judgment and presumptions that get in the way of us feeling truly connected with one another.
That is a brilliant point Debra. It doesn’t matter who the person is or what our relationship with them is, we are prone to hold back our love and fullness from them if they trigger a hurt.
Wow Gill I love what you have shared about the word stranger and strange. It is sad that we have this subconsciously made assumptions and I wonder how much I still have . . .
I so enjoyed reading your blog this morning Mariette. Even the word ‘stranger,’ which simply refers to someone we don’t know, has a meaning with negative undertones. We tell our children ‘don’t talk to strangers,’ hinting that there is possible danger in others. Yes we have to be discerning, but your blog has inspired me to be far more open with my fellow human beings who I have not met yet.
‘My fellow human beings who I have not met yet’ – this is a new working definition that restores ‘stranger’ back into our vocabulary without all the connotations and insinuations. Love it.
I love this line too Matilda. Let’s call the Oxford English Dictionary and have it updated with this new and glorious definition of ‘stranger’ so that all can feel the brotherhood in evokes.
The freedom with which you express and share this Mariette is a lovely example of the quality you were with the man in your local shop – I feel very invited and very equal when reading this blog.
Great question Mariette Why do we see people as strangers? You share a beautiful example how we are all interconnected and all we have to do is open the door of sharing ourselves and reflecting with no reservation with another for them to do exactly the same in return. To be this way in life is as you share so freeing and joyful. Now this feels quite natural and not strange at all.
I certainly feel that the more I communicate and am open with everyone I meet, the more connected to others and life I am. It is not about a well-schooled politeness; it is about an innate understanding of humanity that I am coming home to. We really are all in this together and at our cores so much more the same that we care to comprehend.
Mariette, this is very Gorgeous to read, there is a very string idea about being open with people we know and being cautious with ‘strangers’, this is very strong with children, many parents talk to their children about ‘stranger danger’, they tell their children ‘not to talk to strangers’, and so children become shy, cautious and unsure around people they do not know, either that or they just do what is natural for them and start talking with whoever they feel to whether they know them or not and have a very anxious parent hovering close by or calling them back.
I have never told my son ‘not to talk to strangers” and it is amazing to watch how open and himself he is with people, he is the same with people he knows as he is with people he does not know – it is very joyful for me, him and those he meets the way he engages with people.
Great topic Mariette, the term stranger brings up feelings around danger and children, how we condition our children from a young age to be wary of strangers in case they may look to cause harm. Of course there is a need to be wary in some ways but often this carries into a mistrust of everyone and it feels like we diminish our opportunities for connection because of one or two people who are hurtful. Like Mariette, if we trust our feelings more then no-one need be a stranger and we can discern who we feel we might let into our life, while staying open in our hearts with everyone.
Distrust brings so much negativity to our world and unfortunately our press and media often insight more of it -unnecessarily so.
By being open we are more able to discern the person and the situation, if we go in blind already with judgement and fear we miss out on the natural magic that can happen between people.
Thank you Mariette, you have given me much to ponder on – I tend to say hello to some people and not others, it depends on how open I am feeling. There is the excuse of not wanting to intrude on another’s life, but it could be more – not wanting to be seen. Why not say hello to everyone we meet? Obviously in a busy city that’s not really possible, but in a shop, on a quiet street – making eye contact and smiling and saying something is perfectly possible. Of course they can choose to ignore us, some grunt by way of reply, but sometimes there is a delightful connection. Walking into a doctor’s waiting room or onto a bus – do we just sit down in silence or do we say hello to our fellow man?
In a big city it might be a bit hard to say hello to everyone but I feel the openness I have with other people is me saying hello anyways so in a sense I am saying hello to everyone : )
We have 100’s of opportunities each day to make new friends, when we are open people relate to us and drop their guard. Just today I meet a beautiful lady called Rosanna on the check out at our local super market. After our interaction I felt I had learnt loads about her and it was great to feel this connection. I went out with far more then just shopping.
Ï relate to what you say about walking on a quiet street and making eye contact with people, “Of course they can choose to ignore us, some grunt by way of reply, but sometimes there is a delightful connection”. I experience this on a regular walk on a local boardwalk beside the lake. I now tend to say hello or good morning to almost everyone I pass on the way. It is interesting to see the reactions of various people, and it varies considerably during holiday periods when many people from the city join us on the boardwalk. City life can be very busy, far more people about, which means one does not say hello to everyone they pass in the street. But I have had some lovely connections through being open to people while I am walking, have met some lovely people and stopped for a little conversation. And, yes, I have experienced the ‘grunters’ too .
Mariette a great sharing of how beautiful life can be if we do not hold back. Each and everyone of us has so much to share, it would be, and is, a shame that we choose how much and to whom to we do share with. We create so many labels of differentiation…friends, lovers, family, strangers…yet we are all people first and foremost.
actually we aren’t even people we are souls and energetic beings that inhabit a body, we really are all the same and equal in the core of our beings, the fact we get so caught up with what we see is our major downfall.
This sentence is powerfully exposing of how the falseness of our thoughts can rule us and make us live as lesser than we are, thus keeping us in the illusion of separation and isolation from other people.
” if I do hold back and find myself judging or thinking that I cannot say this or that or be this or that, then I know that I have allowed in the false idea of the stranger, the idea that I have to be different with certain people and that I cannot be open and loving with those that I meet for the first time”.
I love reading this light and refreshing blog and can feel why this man who helped you was open to sharing with you so easily as he too would have felt the openness and warmth within you which means there was no strangeness just a willingness to connect in this moment. Thank you Mariette for a gorgeous and inspiring read 🙂 mmm
Thank you Mariette! I am totally inspired and infused with warmth and joy throughout my body from reading your blog. Openness and equal-ness with all, along with discernment and honouring yourself is a beautiful way to be. It is then clear to see we are all are one big family.
I have just to ponder on my commute to work on public transportation in London at the sea of people that lock themselves in their bubble from everyone around them. The short list that covers them is; sleeping, reading papers, books, real or electronic, listening to music, watching a video. The number one is a phone in their hand that allows you to do a combination of the list above. The occasional person is working on their laptop, and the rarest is the people talking to each other… they are more likely to be tourists that don’t know the proper educate. The craziness of it all just makes me smile.
Over the years its been my observation that the more crowded together we are, for example living in a city, crammed into an underground tube, the less likely we are to talk to each other.
Yes so true, makes no sense does it? And nowadays, maybe even as a result of that disconnectedness, we see the reflection in the majority of people being connected to their phones!
It is such a shame, Steve that what you have described is how it is on most public transport in cities now. Your short list says it all, and is what I have experienced when visiting a big city in Australia. I left the city life many years ago now, it is certainly not conducive to people connecting in the street, or on public transport. People put up the barriers to connection with strangers quite strongly. And I find that many of them often bring that pattern into their holiday periods when visiting the town where I live. These are often the people who totally ignore me when I say ‘good morning’ or the like when passing them on our local boardwalk around our lovely lake. What a shame that they do not want to connect with others.
Yes Steve it is indeed crazy. And such an apt description “the sea of people that lock themselves in their bubble from everyone around them” I find this to be also true in my part of the world, its as if everyone lives in a bubble.
It is such a great way to live with the awareness and understanding that, “We are all one and the same within, each one of us, with unique qualities and talents.” Innately as children we all do this and it is so joyous to regain that connection with oneself and humanity as you express so beautifully Mariette.
Living like you describe it, Mariette, also immensely deepens the love between you and your partner. The more open I have been with people during the day, the deeper I am able to connect with my partner, which is my marker for where I am at with loving and letting love in.
Super great point Felix, we can not be unloving and short with some people and then expect to be loving with our partner when we get home and visa verser. Love has no boundaries -We are the ones that create the walls.
Well said Felix and Samantha – love is not love if used with the convenience of an ‘on and off’ switch depending upon which room you are in. Love is an ever-present-constant quality, no matter what. We have built so many walls to protect our individual selves and perceived hurts and commitment and work is needed to expose these and step by step, dismantle them to once again return to our natural state of being and reflect the infinite potential that love is.
It sure does require commitment and work to expose all that gets in the way Stephanie I am like a tigeress with my hurts protecting them like crazy which just results in more hurts! Seriously crazy but I am bringing more understanding to all of this madness and know it is only I who will let myself out of the self imposed prison.
The beauty of connecting to people and not seeing someone you have not yet met as ‘strange’. Being open to the possibilities of having a relationship with everyone however short dismantles the barriers we so often erect between us and the world which we think will protect us but in reality keep us in separation – a lonely place to be. Thank you for sharing your lovely interaction with the man in the tool shop and the mutual benefits for both of you of your openness and willingness to trust the connection you felt. Only when we discard the false beliefs around ‘stranger danger’ and use our sixth sense to be discerning with everyone we meet will humanity become one family again.
Treating others like strangers does indeed feel strange. Growing with phrases like ‘stranger danger’ or this perception that because we have never met a person OR in the case of say the supermarket or our work where we may only meet that person once in our lives thus how we are with them ‘doesn’t matter because we’ll never see them again’ completely against how natural it feels to be open with people. These days I feel much more at ease when I approach a customer at work and look them in the eyes, even if it’s just handing them their coffee order. Shying away from that split moment makes the next moments more awkward and uncomfortable.
I have even noticed it when I chose to protect myself whilst driving and whether I remain open and connect with the other driver I may be letting through or not. It is amazing how different it feels when I stay open rather than disconnect and cut off from them.
All of this builds something we are all in dire need of and that is trust. Trust is something that seems to be the one thing we crave right now and you walking around this open and honest with people is pure gold.
One of the deepest sadness’ I have ever connected to was in feeling I had lost trust in myself, yet in that moment it made sense to me how my lack of trust in other people or the world had come to be. Building my love for myself was actually all that was lacking, and in doing so trust becomes more and more part of my natural way.
That is true Giselle the more we love ourselves the more we trust others, and are able to discern and observe where someone is at.
Isn’t it just the maddest thing that we can be so disconnected and suspicious of people that we haven’t met yet. It makes me wonder how many beautiful friendships I have missed out on from not being open to the possibility that there is no strangers and everyone I meet is a dear friend in the making not to mention we are all one brotherhood.
I love the fact that ‘everyone I meet is a dear friend in the making’. It certainly opens you up to consider that by closing ourselves down from others we could be missing out in welcoming some very amazing people into our lives. And I’m sure I’ve done that on many occasions in my life as well; but not anymore!
This is very beautiful Mariette, but the main thing is learning to discern and being able to trust that discernment totally, even as I read your blog I was sort of stuck an old way of thinking, are you mad taking a total stranger into your house? You don’t know him from Adam. In a perfect world it would be great to be able to take everyone we meet into our homes, but the fact is that there are bad people and the bad eegs cause us to build these barriers of mistrust and doubt our feelings if we have been burnt before. I know this may sound like I’m missing the point of your beautiful sharing, which I haven’t and I am totally inspired to go hence forth and trust my feelings and treat the world as if there is no strangers, which maybe a bit strange at first.
I totally dig your honest way of expressing Kevin
You pinned it correctly I feel Kevin, in that yes we can be open and connecting with people, and that discernment is needed who we bring into our home too.
I totally agree Kevin – it’s important to be sensible about it, and discerning – because we all know when someone feels a bit off, but the fact is if we treat everyone like that it just makes it a very lonely world
I also take every opportunity to connect with people as you have Mariette. Speaking to others makes the world a smaller place but allows us all to expand.
At different times we all invite ‘strangers’ into our home, plumbers, electricians, painters and decorators etc, and if we are open and talk with them they are no longer strangers but a person we have met who has a skill that they bring with them.
And also an innermost just like ourselves waiting to connect with another. I really love meeting others as another being and not limiting them to the job or the skill they may bring even though it is often a source of great interest and point of connection.
Yes exactly and it feels really awesome to get to know them too, through openness and genuine presence.
Loved reading this blog. There is no such thing as a stranger. When we let down our guard and bring an absolute smile from our heart everyone of us melts…
Yes so true – it’s so lovely to live that in our daily lives no matter where we are. I love this walking on the street and really with conscious presence touch people with a heart-felt authentic smile, and the response most of the time is just beautiful. Everyone wins.
This is a beautiful blog Marriette, it exposes the big image of strangers I got, that it is not safe to show my all to everyone. While I am starting to feel more confident in myself, I can see that it is possible to let others in and be open to everyone. But it clearly shows what a great effect our ideals and beliefs about all in life shape the way we live and in this life connect with others.
It is amazing that you run into a person that is there for you to assist you in hanging you mirror on the wall Mariette and it proves to me that we inanely can feel when we can trust someone or not. Life can be so simple if we let go of the idea that we are alone on this world and in that hold everybody outside the people that are not our family or we are acquaintance with as strangers and therefore people we do not connect with. But as you say, in fact there are no strangers as we are one big family and anybody could in fact be called and acquaintance or part of our family instead. We only have to let go of the idea that we are individual and separated from one another while in fact we are not as we are all interconnected with one another and in truth on big human family experimenting our physical life here on earth.
As children we were told not to speak to strangers and to assume that people we don’t know could do something bad to us. Parents were well-meaning in their desire to protect us but it was harmful in that it undermined the fact that we could already sense if someone felt creepy or not and it diminished our natural openness and trust. If parent’s encouraged children to stay connected to their feelings and discern for themselves children would naturally take responsibility to be aware and assess situations for themselves and they would not need the false protection of closing off to strangers.
Its such an incredible healing for that man, that you trust him so readily, and allowed him to be of service. he was then able to care for you with your hanging of the mirror, its a mirror that will always have his love underneath it.
I love how there is so much beauty to be found in the simple things, i love how we as people are so willing and ready to be there to help others, and how we blossom when we get the chance, like this man did. you also helped him, by showing your willingness to trust and make it about love.
This is so beautiful to feel Brendan, I can agree with what you describe and this is something i am developing within myself, slowly. Learning that ‘strangers” are not strangers, if we open to them is gold. I love how sometimes its easier to tell newish ‘others’ what is really going on for us, and how we let our guard down around people we know we will never see again over fears of being judged etc. It shows how much we are afraid to live. When this is the case, the level of protection around us is intense, but we can choose to let it go in an instant, yet another choice.
What a great blog Mariette. I totally agree with the beauty of being open to all and not having beliefs and ideas about how we should be for friends and strangers. It is lovely to be in connection with others and when I being this openness to a meeting I am always touched with just how open the other becomes and how much they share. People are craving true connection.
So true Johanna – like we all do. The more we can live that inner connection with our self the more we can bring it into every interaction we have with others. A way can be opened for more and more people to see, hear and feel that this is a beautiful thing to be part of, connecting connecting connecting, letting each other in.
Yes Johanna we are craving for someone to light the way, which then ignites our light within …. its like we are all waiting for permission to shine. We have held ourselves back because we have been fed such mistrust of our fellow man, and place importance on images rather than see the person for the quality they are.
What a spark of light and reflection you are Mariette to everyone you meet. I am site for each person you so openly interact with you are an inspiration for them to also be so open.
It is not strange to talk to people we don’t know, it’s strange not to! Love is love, it has no walls for it is designed to be breathed in and out with no hindrance. It is we who erect the walls that inhibit our expression of and ability to receive this love and so equally, it is we who can dismantle these walls so that we can live and breathe as One, as we have been divinely designed to. It is only the seeming borders of our flesh and the energetic walls that we erect, that give the illusion that this is otherwise.
Absolute Truth. Thank you Liane!
Absolutely Liane, “It is not strange to talk to people we don’t know, it’s strange not to!” I totally agree.
Thankyou Mariette for showing us how simple it is to live the love that we are. And that there are no strangers, only people (family) we have not yet connected with.
Absolutely well said Liane! This is absolute gold and truth at the same time. We are here to re-connect to our inner divine and our inner love = which is our family, every single human being. Lets live it so.
In a nutshell Liane and Danna, simply put and simple to then recognise we are all equal Sons of God, here to evolve in brotherhood.
Mariette you have raised something important that faces us all – why do we segregate the people we meet into categories and then measure the level of openness we have with them accordingly? I have certainly only allowed myself to be open in varying degrees with others but while this guardedness may feel like I’m protected behind a wall, I’m actually only imprisoning myself and denying another person the opportunity to share what they have to offer. Yet as I’m learning to be more open it’s quite amazing the impact on everyone involved with many new sharings and laughs along the way. I would recommend that everyone experiment with dumping the idea of strangers and the ‘me/us and them’ mentality that so segregates mankind and find out for themselves what happens when we are willing to open up!
Absolutely beautiful Mariette! what we really want is to trust and let people in, and the effects are great for relationships and our cardiovascular system.. ahhh a big sigh of love.
Love that Harrison – “… the effects are great for relationships and our cardiovascular system.. ahhh a big sigh of love.”
Mariette what a delightful sharing, so light hearted. I take inspiration from your sharing of the experiences you have had. By being open and spontaneous , and not seeing people as strangers and letting them into your life, and what that connection brings to your life and I would say most definitely their lives as well. As you mentioned you would not invite everyone into your home without a feeling of deep connection.
Love this Brendan as it feels like a true way of being with others, being open to connection without lacing it with expectation, ideals or beliefs. Simply ’embracing everyone as an equal.’
The other day at at birthday dinner celebration for a friend, I turned up and 2 people were already sitting at the table. One I knew and kissed her hello and then other woman I did not and went to say hello. She stood up and came and kissed and hugged me hello. I was a bit stunned to be so lovingly and warm-ingly received from a ‘stranger’. And I was like WOAH, she did not hold back and it felt stunningly beautiful to be on the receiving end of it.
Gorgeous Sarah, because in-truth there are no strangers, only friends not yet met.
If we were to approach life this way Liane then the world would open up to be the divine playground it has the potential to be.
I will remember this Liane “there are no strangers , only friends not yet met.” This is so much more open and loving than the word ‘Stranger’
I agree Alison ‘stranger’ is a alienating word it is as if we are making a judgment whereas friends not yet met or even friends waiting to be met has an openness and an inclusiveness to it.
Being open and living each day this way means that we actually living life…rather than merely existing because we are shut down to the connection that is so abundantly available. It’s funny how people can sometimes be surprised or a bit taken aback when you smile or say a simple hello because we are so used to moving through the world in our own separate way. Love your blog Marietta, thank you.
I love the openness with which you express Mariette, to see no one as a stranger opens us up to connecting to the fact that we are all equal within humanity. The idea of strangers for me brings up images of danger something I can recall from childhood where ‘stranger danger’ was an awareness deeply ingrained to try to protect us as children from people and situations that could potentially lead to harm. I can feel how much I still hold this wariness towards others in life but how through shifting this perception to one where we see strangers as family opens us up to truly connecting to others. For me this is definitely a work in progress but I am inspired by your words to begin to open up more and seize the daily opportunities to connect with people more and let go of those beliefs that hold us a part. Thank you.
I agree Jade- when I hear kids being taught of ‘stranger danger’ it never quite feels right because it teaches them to treat everyone with caution instead of teaching them to be open and then in that they are better able to discern who is safe to approach and who isn’t. Otherwise they are taught to be shut down to everyone and in that it overrides a child’s natural way with people.
This brings a trust and a sense of fragility that communicates to others that opening themselves up equally is completely ok, otherwise we are all walking around with the same brick walls built around us and no one wins from that. This not only doesn’t mean we allow everyone into our homes or our personal lives for example, it’s more than this in the sense that it actually supports our natural way of reading energy and discerning for ourselves what feels true and what is not.
Yes it is one thing to have a wall of protection up and another to allow everyone into our lives and homes. It is an art of intimacy I feel to let others in yet not take on absorb what is not ours.
“It is an art of intimacy I feel to let others in yet not take on absorb what is not ours.” I love this Jennifer, the art of letting people in without taking on whats not ours.
The world we live in is defined by differentiations – the nationality, the race, the religion, the gender, the bloodlines, the age, the sexuality, the profession, the wealth… everything can be used as an identification and we use them as a common currency whether to feel connected with others. So many red tapes to go through, so many reason for us not to feel safe and connected. No wonder why we can feel so lonely while living amongst 7 billion others when we forget the one true common currency that we all are born with.
Beautifully expressed Fumiyo
If you consider the possibility that we don’t just live this life, but reincarnate, again and again, how crazy to see people who may have been lovers in another time, meet and treat each other like an alien species that’s just landed in a UFO. When you consider like you do Mariette, that simply we are all one, this whole ‘stranger’ thing is the part that is truly strange. After all it’s like one of your toes waking up one day being surprised that there are others on this foot today. ‘Oh hello – you are like me and are here too?’
I like the toes Joseph. Hey there, there are more like me and we are all interconnected, some on the same foot, some not the other foot of the same person, and there are more feet belonging to other people being the same. I am not alone, I am with many, with billions and in a way all interconnected with one another. Life is so completely different if we can let go of the idea that we are individual and unique. Although each of us is in a way unique in expression, but from the inside we are all the same and in that are all connected to each other as we come from the same source, the source being the universe or God.
Love the way you playfully expose that we are connected to everyone else even if we don’t yet recognise it Joseph. It is crazy to deny it and we all miss out on so much if we stubbornly insist on staying on the narrow path of shutting out the majority of people we come into contact with each day because we are not yet aware of our connection to them.
This makes so much sense Joseph, thank you for pointing that out – yes we could have been lovers or parents or kids to others – no sense in treating people we don’t know with reservation at all.
So well put Joseph. It is crazy especially because when we are in our hearts there is no doubt whatsoever that we are all the same, have the same love within us and no matter what we have chosen all love being adored and held with such love. The only ‘stranger’ part of it is not knowing what another has been up to, but we still know who they innately are
It feels very beautiful when I find myself exchanging a smile or a conversation with a total stranger as I walk down the street, then again I know I sometimes feel hurt when they do not reciprocate – exposing that I was actually holding onto an expectation, and measuring and conditioning how much love I am prepared to be.
Oh I relate to that too Fumiyo, having a little pang of ‘oh shame, they didn’t meet me’; learning to let go of that and having no expectations at all lets us be just in the love that we are, knowing that others will feel it even though they may not respond.
Absolutely, kids are awesome at this- they have an amazing way of registering and reading people. Its important to nurture this so that they can hold onto this.
How beautiful Mariette, that with the openness we can hold in ourselves which is actually our ability to be intimate with another brings such a richness and fullness to life and relationships with anyone. Discarding the ‘strange’ and isolation energy that comes from the use of the word ‘stranger’ is very important for humanity today as with this in our belief system we are robbed of the natural way of brotherhood that we are from and can live on a daily basis.
There seems to be a huge focus on strangers in our society, all you have to do is turn on the evening news on the TV and we will see how much we have drifted away from the truth that we are all one in Brotherhood.
I so get what you are sharing here. When we don’t see people as strangers then there is less of a barrier between us and we can be far more discerning as well. We will get a sense of if it is wise to ask that particular person into your home to put up pictures!! It stops being a blanket arrangement.
Absolutely. Our openness allows us to be far more decreeing of who is and is not ok to engage with. This is key – our openness and awareness.
I agree Lucy, when we approach people already shut off to them then we are actually not able to discern situations and read what is really going on.
Thank you, Mariette, for this very inspiring sharing. This is a very interesting subject indeed – a stranger. When does a stranger become a friend? Do I let them in after a few meetings when I can well establish that they are trustworthy? Or could that be a moment after the initial contact? And I also love that when you say “Does this mean that I would invite anybody into my house? No, it doesn’t, because that wouldn’t be honouring of myself” – clearly showing that it is not an ideal that you live by that ‘there is no such thing as strangers’, but it is a natural end result of loving choices you allow for yourself.
Hi Mariette, this blog is gorgeous and filled with so much warmth. It reminds me that we are all only limited by the images we carry with us about the meaning of life and one of those being our perception of ‘Strangers’. Living and moving in openness allows for connection that reflect to us aspects of who we truly are. Today will hold many opportunities to connect to others and this blog has reminded me to not let old beliefs and momentums get in the way. Everything we are and do either harms or heals and what you shared with this person from the tool shop has allowed him to experience something lovely in himself. Thanks for sharing.
“For me there is no such thing as strangers, as we are all connected. Everybody is equal, regardless of where we come from, what we do, or the way we look. We are all one and the same within, each one of us, with unique qualities and talents. We all make different choices, yes, and we may live a thousand miles apart, but to me we are all one big family.” That is so beautifully expressed, Mariette, I love it. It encapsulates what I also feel now about everyone I meet. Having met Serge Benhayon and attending his presentations through Universal Medicine, I have come to absolutely feel the truth of what you have expressed, can so feel in my body that all of us here on our planet come from the one glorious beginning, are all sons of God. When I meet others now, I can feel this great connection between us. But as to whether I would invite someone into my home, I now find I can rely on my own body to show me whether I would at this point trust another to actually come into my home. As you shared, you felt a great connection with this man when you were talking with him in the shop, and you could feel that he was trustworthy. I have had that experience myself, have found myself opening up completely with someone I did not really know well, but could feel was understanding and trustworthy. And this from someone (me) who had previously been so contracted from people and life, and spent most of her life hiding from others. Now I just love interacting with people everywhere, have great conversations with the check-out people, and people on the plane etc. who may be sitting beside me. What a turnaround. Thank you for your sharing here.
Beautiful Beverley, if we open up to other people we give these people the opportunity to do the same, and when we are in that connection, there comes the trust as we can feel we are all the same. Living in this way makes all people in the world being part of one big family, people we can trust and rely on. We are all the same and come from the one source we all know so well (we might ignore this fact and with that we make ourselves separate individuals), the source of love where there is only unity.
Yes, it is amazing how much other people change when we change our behaviour, our movements. Sometimes the difference can be night and day.
Lack of connection is our greatest ailment, and the truth is you cannot pretend to be connected to one person, and not the other. It does not work that way. Love knows no such boundaries, and yet we create borders in our mind as though we can corral its magnificence. True love is uncontained and cannot be funnelled in such a way. It is all encompassing, an emanation, a vast sea of connection not only to the people, and the world, but the whole universe.
Adam I love your response here, especially where you say we try to corral the magnificence of love. You are so right that ‘true love is uncontained.’ In our ignorance we think we can direct love; no wonder we feel this lack of connection to each other and ourselves.
Me too Debra and Adam, such a good way to describe how we curtail our magnificent love we all hold within, keeping it enclosed. How awesome when we open the gate so it can run free!
There is such a holding back of the love that we naturally are when we curtail our connection with others. It is such a fallacy to think that love is conditional on who we may trust it to direct to.
The moment we try to contain love, it is not truly love anymore, as we actually have allowed something else to enter that is trying to control the outcome.
Absolutely Adam, all starting with self-love.
What I appreciate here is the vast view you offer Adam, it reminds us that no matter how many different ways and excuses we use to adapt love to be less than what it truly is, doest mean that love changes. Love is ready and all encompassing, patiently waiting for us to realise we have nothing to fear as we are actually love too.
It is our greatest ailment, something most of us have spent our entire adult lives looking to resolve, whether it be with family, relationships, alcohol, drugs, overeating, or over exercising. Nevertheless the path of connection is simple if we choose it.
So true Adam, love knows no boundaries, if we harbor unloving thoughts to anyone, it affects our relationship with those we say we love.
Well said Adam. Growing up thinking I could love one person yet hate another made no sense. How I am in every single moment effects every relationship I have. So if one of my interactions is unloving then this effects my other interactions / relationships with people. It takes responsibility to another level but we all know and feel.
Brilliantly said Adam Warburton – in the name of True Love we can not pick or choose for the love is true by virtue of it being equal and all encompassing.
As a humanity, we have lost a sense of community and can tend to live very insular lives; a combination of busy lives, being exhausted and watching news and media which can make us feel we can’t trust anyone means we have shut down of to each other; when in truth our natural expression as humans is to connect and this is a deep hurt we carry every day.
When we are fully open in our interactions, it gives the opportunity for people to start to trust each other again. We cannot underestimate the importance of the message in this blog.
I agree Gina, we no longer live as communities and families and individuals live isolated from each other. I remember as a child always having family come round or going to their houses. Now months can pass and I don’t even see relatives who live near by. When I connect with someone I haven’t met before at the supermarket or a bus stop, it brings a warm feeling and is a reminder that we are really one big family.
One child shared with me the other day how strange it was when we adults always have to have all these arrangements before seeing each other instead of just popping by and see how things are.
It actually is Matts, and there is such an openness in just popping by to see how things are.
I used to always just drop in on friends when I felt to and they on me and it felt very natural. Somewhere along the line I grew up, as I thought, and felt it only proper to phone or make an arrangement before hand. There was a definite free flow in my life that changed. Recently I have dared to drop in on people a few times and the timing so far has been very spot on and we have had some very purposeful connections. I am feeling to trust my impulses to do this more and it feels great.
Yes Matts, I have experienced this too, we have lost that openness of just popping in on friends, everything is pre-arranged and the feeling is not to disturb another, which suggest we have disconnected from the openness of relationships that this is now our normal ways. I know my friendships are much more like this now.
I know Matts it is totally crazy! There are so many processes for a simple hello now! and so many false barriers that we put up. This is taking away the simplicity of it all.
I like what you have shared Debra – when I was a child I stayed in my holidays at my aunties. I had the feeling that I was related to the whole village. Whenever I did something not so nice – the whole village knew it. Or if I e.g. fell from my bicycle people immediately helped me. I can remember how I love it to stay there . . .
This is true Gina. We live more insular lives than ever before. It makes it all the more worthwhile when we make connections with others, especially those we haven’t met before.
Mariette I love this blog about the openness you shared with this man. It is my experience that there is an immediate connection with some people that builds immediate trust. I am finding that the more I allow myself to be open the more people open up to me. We create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them.
So true Anne, “we create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them.” We miss an opportunity to truly connect, make a friend, learn something, express ourselves, feel trust, and love.
Very true, and it is not even fathomable what that missed opportunity means in the bigger picture.
Indeed Jeanette, by cutting ourselves off from strangers we miss that potential to express and connect with another in our hearts.
This is great way of expressing a stranger – “We create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them.” Perhaps the word is from the fact that when we are not being our full natural selves we are strange as we being something that is not ourself?
Oh lovely play on words – yes, we are strange when we are not truly our selves, we are then ‘strangers’ to our selves too.
This is where the lack of trust develops, within ourselves when we are not connected. Everything horrible in this world comes through people not choosing to connect to their most natural and loving nature.
And yet that state of not being connected to ourselves seems so normal, and to live connected to ourselves abnormal. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon, leading the way in changing that around!
As we develop a deeper relationship with ourselves we also find that our relationships with others expands and deepens too.
And that is just the beginning of re-claiming our lives back to where we came from, where we were all at one with one another. Thanks to Serge Benhayon this is now becoming a reality and no longer a dream.
Great point Julie, its not that we have to go around talking to every person we walk past but we can hold and carry ourselves in a way that is open to everyone.
“Perhaps the word is from the fact that when we are not being our full natural selves we are strange as we being something that is not our self?” That is such a great explanation Julie 🙂
Oh I love this Julie. Yes a disconnection from ourselves is like pulling the plug out of a power-board. Nothing can function without the true electricity of our connection, which in affect openly connects us to the full power supply that is humanity.
I agree Kelly, it is a pretty cool analogy – without electricity or power how can we function. We need our connection both with ourselves and with others – without it end up up flat and depressed!
Anna it is my experience too, with some people it’s immediate connection and trust and others a slow build up of connection and trust. Often that slow connection is due to protection on either person, which is why the immediate connection is not felt. When the protection drops the openness is there to connect.
I agree Amita, I have had similar experiences.
I agree Anne, the level of connection that is expressed in this blog is very natural of how we would operate as a community- it is very natural for people to be open and support each other in this way, however this is something that we have moved away from but yet still many would love to come back too.
So well said Anne; “We create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them.”
I agree. This line is gold Diana. We have the choice to make someone feel like a stranger and literally energetically push them away, or we can choose to welcome them into the warmth of our heart. Either way, not a word needs to be said in these exchanges as we are all picking up on this even if we are just passing in the street.
“We create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them” – this is so true, and beautifully said. The way we experience the world is a choice and it is our own making, no matter how hard we try to reason it otherwise.
There is where the responsibility comes Fumiyo, everything we experience is our choice at some level. No blame, but a fresh new way of seeing the world.
Such a refreshing perspective on what a stranger actually is – a member of one massive family. Imagine if everyone on the planet truly lived by this. How freeing from protection, wariness, guardedness and immediate judgments our interactions would be, to say nothing of the sense of belonging, wherever we went.
And the world would be a safer place because those who wish to harm others would be more exposed.
Naturally in a more loving and open world, where we all felt as one massive family, anyone untrustworthy or wishing to harm another would be easily seen and felt, sticking out like a sore thumb.
Hello Helen and I understand what you are saying. If we all lived like this though, even if a few started then anyone living another way would stand out. It’s not about exposing those that harm but about ‘us’ taking more care, a deeper care in each relationship. This then flows out into the world beyond and the ‘harm’ falls silently into the background.
Good point Ray, it’s us taking responsibility with every movement and interaction, not waiting for everyone else to change their behaviours or attitudes. Lead the way and and by reflection and example others will feel their own Love within.
Helen I love what you have said – it would be really exposing for them and everyone around them would have a loving and respectful way to treat such a person – imagine what a learning for this person.
Absolutely Mary we can feel whether someone is safe to be with or not.
I love that Cathy – …”what a stranger actually is – a member of one massive family. ” It puts a totally different spin on people we don’t know yet.
It really re defines how we hold family, there are no strangers just people from our family we may not have met this time around.
How beautiful it would be if everyone actually lived like this, no need for protection, guardedness, judgement. Just a sense of one massive family, the word stranger word not exists. Everyone would feel and connect with everyone.
I just celebrated my birthday and had my husband and two boys with me and everyone else I invited I’ve known for less then a year and some never before but they all felt like close family members. It shows that once you connect to someone and really want to know them there is no difference.
Having experienced an exercise at a workshop with Serge Benhayon where it is so easy to connect with a so called stranger and feel like they are well known, it is clear it is not about “knowing their history”, but about being open to seeing each other who we are – equal beings of love.
Totally – if we think about it there is not much separating each person to person, why not see us as part of a family – I have thought about that before, particularly in supermarkets and places like that, because even though no-one talks to each other, everyone is working towards a common thing, and working around each other etc.
I love this Jessica, there is so much we can all share and learn from each other. Imagine if when we went to go buy our groceries everyone was connecting with each other, sharing how our days are going and how we are feeling, what food supports us or what we buy when we feel this way or that…. I would say there would be a huge and very marked difference in what was placed in trolleys at the end of the shopping trip.
Great Jessica and we can all hold this and ‘make it happen’ as you say. We need not wait or wonder but simply just put what we feel on the ground. If we can see it then it won’t take much for others to see the same, if we look around we see everyone is waiting, possibly see you in the supermarket, kidding.
Yes Cathy, this would be amazing, ‘Such a refreshing perspective on what a stranger actually is – a member of one massive family. Imagine if everyone on the planet truly lived by this.’ I can feel that sometimes, although less and less so that this is how communities can work, that everyone looks after everyone else, where people help out with each others children, where the elderly are looked after by the community – this feels very natural and works, rather than what is becoming more common which is to drive in and out of home and have little or nothing to do with our neighbours only looking after our own family.
Yes we are simply “a member of one massive family”, therefore not one person who we meet is a stranger, all we need to do is to let down the walls, the judgment and the comparison that we often use to keep us from connecting to others.
Agreed, we are all sitting in the same boat and living on the same planet and looked at in truth, we are all working along the same lines – yes, there are many gross aberrations in the way we live but overall, what unifies us is much bigger and stronger than the deviations we have created for ourselves.
Oh yes, very true Ingrid – imagine everybody would just open up and let eveybody in – then we would have heaven on earth. Can’t hardly wait until this is the case.
Me too Alexander, best we don’t wait for other members of the family to go first.
Freeing indeed Cathy. When I’m at work I feel that every customer is coming into my home ( i.e my store) but if we take that a step further: our homes are our hearts. So every connection is just like another part of the puzzle and when it is complete it shows one big family connected as one.
The world has forgotten we are in fact a family.
When a disaster happens and we all rally to help each other we remember we are a family, and so it could be this all the time.
I was sharing with my class this week about how my grandmother said the 2nd World War years were the best of her life. Their jaws dropped as they didn’t get the announcement but when I explained that my grandmother loved the feeling of everyone pulling together, being in the community, looking after strangers and everyone showing enormous acts of kindness they got it. My next words were it’s a shame that we don’t live like this all the time and that it takes a crisis for people to pull together.
Yes Cathy, its beautiful to meet a stranger as equal without guards then it allows them to open up too and trust humanity, if they choose to.
I know Cathy, when we meet someone that we feel a kin to, regardless of wether we know them or not, they do not feel like strangers. When you live with this openness, you realise just how many amazing people there are in this world. What I love about owning cafes is that “strangers” just want to open up, if you make someone their morning coffee they will trust you with anything.
People do want to open up don’t they – it’s just that we’ve become a bit isolated for various reasons so to have a cup of coffee by someone that can bring back that feeling of oneness is pure gold
Awesome Mariette. I love this blog because the joy in my day is derived from the connections I make with all whom I interact with. I especially love chatting to strangers – there is such a purity and openness that can be deemed from such an interaction. It is a clean platform from which to start – no hurts, needs of recognition or pictures attached to the outcome – just simple connection. I find I develop and evolve as an individual when I chat with a stranger because I am incredibly open and often learn something about life, the universe or myself as a result.
I too love the simplicity of connecting with those I have not met before, and this is how I see it – never as strangers.
I too am really loving the joy of connecting with people who I “have not met before”, and I am meeting plenty of them as I am now working in a new area, where before I arrived I knew one person. Not one new person that I am meeting feels like a stranger.
Exactly Julie. The more we let someone in the more we see they are just like us. We fall in love with us and them all at the same time.
Gina I love the idea of a “clean platform from which to start” just simple connection. It’s the reason I so enjoy these so called random connections, and I agree with this openness we get to practice our full expression. I often find yes I learn something but also the conversation fits in somewhere else in my life. So is this person a stranger or a messenger?
Gina, I also love this blog and as you say “…the joy in my day is derived from the connections I make with all whom I interact with.” We live in a highrise apartment building with about 65% resident and 35% visitors here on business or holidays often from other countries from around the world. Because we live on the 22nd floor we have ample opportunity to share moments either waiting for lifts or in the lift as it slowly rises to the different levels. The moments of communication may sometimes be brief – but the feeling of connectedness is evident, a true indication that we are indeed all of the One, no matter the ‘culture’ background, age or religion practised in this life. We are all innately Love first and that is what I feel in the momentary exchanges.
Roberta Himing what an opportunity your lift provides for a ‘ momentary exchange’ I love the simple wisdom you shared and I have also felt, no matter who the person from whatever background ” we are innately Love first” How different are our connections and do our lives for that matter appear, when we hold that as our truth….. No such thing as strangers just Love reflecting Love.
It is so true Gina and there is such an innocent joy in connecting to and speaking with people we don’t know. Everyday we have an opportunity to reveal more about ourselves and the world, to enjoy simple interactions, to share a smile and a real eye to eye connection, it is the most natural thing in the world and this is how we make friends, talking openly to people we don’t know.
I agree Rowena – when I observe small children I notice that they are willing to go and speak to any other child, it is a natural thing for them to do – no holding back, judgement, reservations. We seem to grow up and shut down – when the world is crying out for an openness for us all to live and share.
Yes Gina, I feel an openness with new people that I meet too. We nurture the connection rather than the disconnection. This can inspire the relationships we have with everyone, inspring us to bring that same openness and those fresh eyes to our friends, family and people we work with.
Simone that’s a nice expansion ” we nurture the connection rather than the disconnection. “. We often get a ‘kick’ out of meeting a stranger and it offers us a fresh reflection on ourselves and our world, but as you say Simone it’s to bring this same nurturing of the connection to the people in our lives everyday and don’t become complacent, not appreciating and valuing our reflection in those relationships.
I love this Gina, and how true this is, when we meet with a stranger we come to it without the pictures and expectations when we come from a place of openness. Every chance meeting then becomes an opportunity to connect, grow and learn. Removing the element of ‘stranger danger’ opens us up to being more open and connected to life.
A great comment on a great blog. I love these interactions too Gina and I am very blessed in my work, because I am in very close physical proximity to people everyday. There truly is no strangers when we work with awareness and not a known history.
I have patients who share more of themselves with me, are more open and receptive in 60 seconds than family members who have known me since I was born. This makes me wonder about who is stranger…
If we are truly able to feel other people as they are, then they can’t be strangers. They may be more or less trustworthy or reliable or loving but in all cases we know them.
Because deep at the core of our being we are love, each and every one of us, with no exceptions. When we look for and recognise this light in another we can never fall for the illusion that we are different, we merely have differing expressions of this one light that is our love.
Beautifully expressed Liane: ‘Because deep at the core of our being we are love, each and every one of us, with no exceptions.’
I absolutely agree with this Liane, “When we look for and recognise this light in another we can never fall for the illusion that we are different, we merely have differing expressions of this one light that is our love.” And what is so important for us all to understand and appreciate is that each and everyone of us has something unique to offer the rest of the world via our own expression of that one love.
That is so true Liane, when we look for and recognise the light in another we will naturally feel we are one with all around us.
That is true Liane and I may add – if I met a person truly my heart is joyful. It is that my heart knows exactly that we are all one hence there is no other way than feeling this joy of realizing this fact.
True Esther, that’s why we should never hold back what is there to be expressed to another. Stranger or not it’s the same Joy!
Yes and in that love, we cannot be strangers.
I love what you have shared here Liane Mandalis. Expectations stop us getting to the core that is equal in all of us.
“from a foundation of connecting with ourselves” – this is the real deal! And how does one do this? For me it’s breathing gently, letting go of tension in my body, being aware of my body-parts, expressing what I feel.
How we may appear has been shaped by our choices and how we act by that which we align to and are open to, however our very essence remains unchanged and at our core, we are always the same.
That is beautiful Michael – as we learn to confirm within the depth and grace that we are in our very essence we see others with that same abiding love.
“At the core we are always the same” very true Michael, we can make ourselves look different, we can choose different languages and cultures yet inside we are all the same. Getting back to the truth of who we are we rediscover we are in fact one and not separate as the illusion of life would have us believe.
Beautiful Michael yes we are love to the core. Its the appreciation and acceptance of our core that is the key player for our connection forevermore.
Well said Michael, and it is because of this that seeing another for there essence is a true gift to give.
Marika this is true. When we are connected to ourselves its easy to see the beauty in another as a reflection back. Life is a mirror in very sense! Sometimes we choose to see the refection, at other times most deliberately turn away, but everything is shown to us all the time.
When we can truly feel people they are no longer strangers that’s true, being able to feel also gives us the ability to discern, allowing us to feel their quality as you say Christoph, so we know whether someone is trustworthy or reliable.
Hello Rosemary and I agree with what you are saying. Our ability to feel and discern from there comes from a ‘living’ relationship with ourselves and whatever else is around us. So in a relationship with a person, whether 5 seconds or 5 decades that dedication to feeling and responding from there is everything. No need to gauge ‘trustworthy or reliability’ as it is all answered from how you are with yourself before you walk to the person. In other words and as we are saying you feel it.
When I was a teenager I wasn’t very happy and wondered why “nobody liked me” – it didn’t occur to me that what I was observing was simply a reflection of how I saw myself” Michelle this in itself is pretty huge. How many teenagers and children feel this way? Imagine if we connected to this truth what a difference that would make to how we perceive others to be towards us and how we feel about ourselves.
How many? Almost all I would say, and this is not confined to children. How we feel about ourselves is written all over our face no matter what image we attempt to project. How do we expect people to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves.
Love this Marika, seeing ourselves reflected in others and coming with a foundation of connection to self, makes what we see in others merely a reflection of the choices we are choosing in life. It shows the true learning that is possible when we see every interaction with another as an opportunity to grow, learn and connect.
We are blessed with a myriad of reflections each day and each one offers us something to observe. For me this allows me to feel how truly accepting I am of another and whether I have expectations which keep others at a distance. With more awareness my understanding grows and this connection allows me to feel the interconnectedness of everyone. So true what you say Jade ‘what we see in others merely a reflection of the choices we are choosing in life’ and with this understanding we can gain a deeper connection to our true way of expression in life.
Having expectations of others means that we have set up images of who we think they are or how we think they will behave and these images can stop us from seeing who is there. When we allow our feelings to guide us then perhaps we can be more open to everyone.
Yes Marika, the power of reflection through another is a great way to discover what we are choosing. So, in truth how can anyone be a stranger?
I agree Christoph, when we can understand that there isn´t such a thing as strangers once we are open and allow to feel other people than we can bring this understanding also to the subject of “refugees” to drop existing fears and prejudices. We can start to welcome and connect with families in our suburbs and might me surprised how much we can inspire and learn from another.
Love what you have shared here Christoph Schnelle as the connection we have with each other is so simple when we make our life about being one rather than many.
I really enjoyed reading your blog Mariette. It’s true that strangers do not have to be strangers and there is much joy in making connections with people you don’t know even if it is a smile, or a short exchange. Today, whilst at the supermarket there was a family with two young kids. The very little one was have an enormous tantrum and the sound was richocheing off the walls of the supermarket. The parents were “on it” and were making a hasty retreat through their embarrassment. I made a passing comment about how I took my hat off to all parents everywhere and they looked at me with enormous smiles and made a joke back to me. We shared a couple more exchanges and it felt so very lovely to connect with them.
Rachel I agree, there are many opportunities to be loving and open with others. A true connection can be deeply felt, regardless of how long or short the exchange is.
Thank you Mariette and yes, high time we truly understand what we are implying by calling people we don’t know “strangers”, when in reality they are not strange, we just don’t know them yet. When we apply this term to people we don’t know yet, it means that we are all strange to one another, so where does that leave us? How can we make friendships and have relationships if everyone we meet is strange? How amazing and gorgeous you feel in your openness and trust, what a huge breath of fresh air you are in a world where we are encouraged to be suspicious and afraid of one another. What is so gorgeous is that the more open, honest and trusting we are of one another, the more evident it becomes when we meet someone we might not wish to invite into our homes because the interaction does not feel transparent and simple. When we stay open, we are able to gain so much more information about someone in an instance than we close our hearts and withdraw in reaction to the un-known.
“How amazing and gorgeous you feel in your openness and trust, what a huge breath of fresh air you are in a world where we are encouraged to be suspicious and afraid of one another. ” It is amazing to feel Mariette and what she offers us in her blog. People are so protected and afraid of another even at work or in teams if there is not somebody who starts open up and drops the guard.
That guardedness and protection can be experienced everywhere – from between individuals and religions to between nations. What a great world we would have if we all dropped our guards, let each other in.
I agree Janina and Rowena. Mariette is an inspriation in the way she is so open and welcoming to everyone she meets, and I know from my own experience that the more open I am with other people the more they open up to me and it is truly lovely to have spontaneous conversations with people who I have never met, but can invite a more willing and open interaction with them.
Yes Mariette is an inspiration for sure. Thinking about it, if how open we are also has a effect on how open others are with us, this gives a clear view of the fact that we create our own reality. So it is our responsibility as well how others are with us, not to say if we are open everyone will be open but our own choices do make a huge difference.
Really like this Rowena, staying open does make us more perceptive and able to easily feel when someone is being honest or not. It is refreshing to know that this is a choice we can all choose to make, and as you say takes the ‘strange’ out of meeting new people and opens you up to seeing others as equal to you.
This is so true. And I have found that the more natural and open I am allows another to be the same. Quite often people I have never met before share the most intimate and personal sharings with me and I know it’s because of the lovely open connection.
I agree Johanna, there a safety that is felt between people when our hearts are open.
I love that. Taking the ‘strange’ out of stranger.
True Jade, being open you discover who you are too and not live in distance or a stranger to our own feelings.
You are so right Rowena about how amazing the world we live in when we are open with ourselves. Others can feel there are no underlying motives and as you said there only transparency and a simple connection.
Knowing another not as a stranger but as a neighbour is the difference between the holding back and opening up to another. So often we can build pictures and ideas about who to trust and not to trust based on a familiarity. But what if this was not true?