While I was standing in the local tool shop today, I shared with the lovely men working there that I needed help fixing some things in my house. I started talking to the man next to me and he offered to help me. Just two minutes later we were in my house, sharing time and chatting about life while he was drilling holes in my wall to hang a mirror. At some point he shared that he was surprised that he was telling all these things about his personal life to a stranger.
I had to go back to the shop to borrow an electric screwdriver and when I got back, I shared with him that his words had stayed with me.
“You know what,” I said, “For me there is no such thing as strangers. I want to be open and be myself with everybody, even if I have just met them. I don’t feel there should be a difference. If there is then I ask myself, and feel, what I am projecting onto that other person that I am not being as open with.”
I pondered on this a little bit more during my day.
Why do we see people as strangers and what kind of effect does this have on our ability to connect with each other? Even the word ‘stranger’ carries a distance in it, where it feels strange, or even odd, that I could not allow myself to be fully open with that person, just because I have never met them before.
When we meet somebody for the first time, at times we have this tendency to hold back, to be reserved, maybe to judge the other by his or her appearance, how he/she acts or behaves and how he/she responds to us. Do we protect ourselves because we don’t know the other person? For me as a woman, I might hold back with a man that I have never met before and who is in my house, helping me hang up my mirror on the wall.
I chose to not hold back because it felt lovely to have this man in my house. Does this mean that I would invite anybody into my house? No, it doesn’t, because that wouldn’t be honouring of myself. The thing is I felt a connection and trust with the man at the shop from the first moment I met him and therefore I did not see him as a stranger.
For me there is no such thing as strangers, as we are all connected. Everybody is equal, regardless of where we come from, what we do, or the way we look. We are all one and the same within, each one of us, with unique qualities and talents. We all make different choices, yes, and we may live a thousand miles apart, but to me we are all one big family.
Knowing this, with every person I meet I can make the choice to meet them as loved family members or if I do hold back and find myself judging or thinking that I cannot say this or that or be this or that, then I know that I have allowed in the false idea of the stranger, the idea that I have to be different with certain people and that I cannot be open and loving with those that I meet for the first time.
It feels very freeing to be in life like this and to share myself and my love with everyone.
Now my mirror and paintings are hanging on the wall and it feels wonderful. Not only because they are finally hanging, but also because I was open to connecting and had invited someone into my home who helped me a great deal with something I could never have done on my own.
Taking the ‘old’ belief of the ‘stranger’ out of my life more and more, allows me to be more open, spontaneous, joyful and deeply connected with everybody and this feels great. I am now connecting more to all of humanity – I see the whole of humanity as my family! GREAT!
Every day I meet new people, chat with somebody on the street, in a shop, in the gym, at work or in the tram, say hello to people in the park, make eye contact, ask the supermarket assistant how she is doing, ask my neighbour for support when needed, give a compliment to somebody or start a conversation. I feel more connected with all those around me, close by and far away.
This blog is inspired by Universal Medicine and all those gorgeous people out there in the world that I meet every day.
By Mariette Reineke, Holland
Further Reading:
The simplicity of true intimacy
Heaven’s Joy – Deep Connection
A Feeling of Connection
860 Comments
All of this builds something we are all in dire need of and that is trust. Trust is something that seems to be the one thing we crave right now and you walking around this open and honest with people is pure gold.
One of the deepest sadness’ I have ever connected to was in feeling I had lost trust in myself, yet in that moment it made sense to me how my lack of trust in other people or the world had come to be. Building my love for myself was actually all that was lacking, and in doing so trust becomes more and more part of my natural way.
That is true Giselle the more we love ourselves the more we trust others, and are able to discern and observe where someone is at.
Isn’t it just the maddest thing that we can be so disconnected and suspicious of people that we haven’t met yet. It makes me wonder how many beautiful friendships I have missed out on from not being open to the possibility that there is no strangers and everyone I meet is a dear friend in the making not to mention we are all one brotherhood.
I love the fact that ‘everyone I meet is a dear friend in the making’. It certainly opens you up to consider that by closing ourselves down from others we could be missing out in welcoming some very amazing people into our lives. And I’m sure I’ve done that on many occasions in my life as well; but not anymore!
This is very beautiful Mariette, but the main thing is learning to discern and being able to trust that discernment totally, even as I read your blog I was sort of stuck an old way of thinking, are you mad taking a total stranger into your house? You don’t know him from Adam. In a perfect world it would be great to be able to take everyone we meet into our homes, but the fact is that there are bad people and the bad eegs cause us to build these barriers of mistrust and doubt our feelings if we have been burnt before. I know this may sound like I’m missing the point of your beautiful sharing, which I haven’t and I am totally inspired to go hence forth and trust my feelings and treat the world as if there is no strangers, which maybe a bit strange at first.
I totally dig your honest way of expressing Kevin
You pinned it correctly I feel Kevin, in that yes we can be open and connecting with people, and that discernment is needed who we bring into our home too.
I totally agree Kevin – it’s important to be sensible about it, and discerning – because we all know when someone feels a bit off, but the fact is if we treat everyone like that it just makes it a very lonely world
I also take every opportunity to connect with people as you have Mariette. Speaking to others makes the world a smaller place but allows us all to expand.
At different times we all invite ‘strangers’ into our home, plumbers, electricians, painters and decorators etc, and if we are open and talk with them they are no longer strangers but a person we have met who has a skill that they bring with them.
And also an innermost just like ourselves waiting to connect with another. I really love meeting others as another being and not limiting them to the job or the skill they may bring even though it is often a source of great interest and point of connection.
Yes exactly and it feels really awesome to get to know them too, through openness and genuine presence.
Loved reading this blog. There is no such thing as a stranger. When we let down our guard and bring an absolute smile from our heart everyone of us melts…
Yes so true – it’s so lovely to live that in our daily lives no matter where we are. I love this walking on the street and really with conscious presence touch people with a heart-felt authentic smile, and the response most of the time is just beautiful. Everyone wins.
This is a beautiful blog Marriette, it exposes the big image of strangers I got, that it is not safe to show my all to everyone. While I am starting to feel more confident in myself, I can see that it is possible to let others in and be open to everyone. But it clearly shows what a great effect our ideals and beliefs about all in life shape the way we live and in this life connect with others.
It is amazing that you run into a person that is there for you to assist you in hanging you mirror on the wall Mariette and it proves to me that we inanely can feel when we can trust someone or not. Life can be so simple if we let go of the idea that we are alone on this world and in that hold everybody outside the people that are not our family or we are acquaintance with as strangers and therefore people we do not connect with. But as you say, in fact there are no strangers as we are one big family and anybody could in fact be called and acquaintance or part of our family instead. We only have to let go of the idea that we are individual and separated from one another while in fact we are not as we are all interconnected with one another and in truth on big human family experimenting our physical life here on earth.
As children we were told not to speak to strangers and to assume that people we don’t know could do something bad to us. Parents were well-meaning in their desire to protect us but it was harmful in that it undermined the fact that we could already sense if someone felt creepy or not and it diminished our natural openness and trust. If parent’s encouraged children to stay connected to their feelings and discern for themselves children would naturally take responsibility to be aware and assess situations for themselves and they would not need the false protection of closing off to strangers.
Its such an incredible healing for that man, that you trust him so readily, and allowed him to be of service. he was then able to care for you with your hanging of the mirror, its a mirror that will always have his love underneath it.
I love how there is so much beauty to be found in the simple things, i love how we as people are so willing and ready to be there to help others, and how we blossom when we get the chance, like this man did. you also helped him, by showing your willingness to trust and make it about love.
This is so beautiful to feel Brendan, I can agree with what you describe and this is something i am developing within myself, slowly. Learning that ‘strangers” are not strangers, if we open to them is gold. I love how sometimes its easier to tell newish ‘others’ what is really going on for us, and how we let our guard down around people we know we will never see again over fears of being judged etc. It shows how much we are afraid to live. When this is the case, the level of protection around us is intense, but we can choose to let it go in an instant, yet another choice.
What a great blog Mariette. I totally agree with the beauty of being open to all and not having beliefs and ideas about how we should be for friends and strangers. It is lovely to be in connection with others and when I being this openness to a meeting I am always touched with just how open the other becomes and how much they share. People are craving true connection.
So true Johanna – like we all do. The more we can live that inner connection with our self the more we can bring it into every interaction we have with others. A way can be opened for more and more people to see, hear and feel that this is a beautiful thing to be part of, connecting connecting connecting, letting each other in.
Yes Johanna we are craving for someone to light the way, which then ignites our light within …. its like we are all waiting for permission to shine. We have held ourselves back because we have been fed such mistrust of our fellow man, and place importance on images rather than see the person for the quality they are.
What a spark of light and reflection you are Mariette to everyone you meet. I am site for each person you so openly interact with you are an inspiration for them to also be so open.
It is not strange to talk to people we don’t know, it’s strange not to! Love is love, it has no walls for it is designed to be breathed in and out with no hindrance. It is we who erect the walls that inhibit our expression of and ability to receive this love and so equally, it is we who can dismantle these walls so that we can live and breathe as One, as we have been divinely designed to. It is only the seeming borders of our flesh and the energetic walls that we erect, that give the illusion that this is otherwise.
‘It is not strange to talk to people we don’t know, it’s strange not to!’ – I love that Liane because its so true! I love meeting new people and appreciating the uniqueness that they bring to the world.
Absolute Truth. Thank you Liane!
Absolutely Liane, “It is not strange to talk to people we don’t know, it’s strange not to!” I totally agree.
Thankyou Mariette for showing us how simple it is to live the love that we are. And that there are no strangers, only people (family) we have not yet connected with.
Absolutely well said Liane! This is absolute gold and truth at the same time. We are here to re-connect to our inner divine and our inner love = which is our family, every single human being. Lets live it so.
In a nutshell Liane and Danna, simply put and simple to then recognise we are all equal Sons of God, here to evolve in brotherhood.
Mariette you have raised something important that faces us all – why do we segregate the people we meet into categories and then measure the level of openness we have with them accordingly? I have certainly only allowed myself to be open in varying degrees with others but while this guardedness may feel like I’m protected behind a wall, I’m actually only imprisoning myself and denying another person the opportunity to share what they have to offer. Yet as I’m learning to be more open it’s quite amazing the impact on everyone involved with many new sharings and laughs along the way. I would recommend that everyone experiment with dumping the idea of strangers and the ‘me/us and them’ mentality that so segregates mankind and find out for themselves what happens when we are willing to open up!
Absolutely beautiful Mariette! what we really want is to trust and let people in, and the effects are great for relationships and our cardiovascular system.. ahhh a big sigh of love.
Love that Harrison – “… the effects are great for relationships and our cardiovascular system.. ahhh a big sigh of love.”
Mariette what a delightful sharing, so light hearted. I take inspiration from your sharing of the experiences you have had. By being open and spontaneous , and not seeing people as strangers and letting them into your life, and what that connection brings to your life and I would say most definitely their lives as well. As you mentioned you would not invite everyone into your home without a feeling of deep connection.
Love this Brendan as it feels like a true way of being with others, being open to connection without lacing it with expectation, ideals or beliefs. Simply ’embracing everyone as an equal.’
The other day at at birthday dinner celebration for a friend, I turned up and 2 people were already sitting at the table. One I knew and kissed her hello and then other woman I did not and went to say hello. She stood up and came and kissed and hugged me hello. I was a bit stunned to be so lovingly and warm-ingly received from a ‘stranger’. And I was like WOAH, she did not hold back and it felt stunningly beautiful to be on the receiving end of it.
Gorgeous Sarah, because in-truth there are no strangers, only friends not yet met.
If we were to approach life this way Liane then the world would open up to be the divine playground it has the potential to be.
I will remember this Liane “there are no strangers , only friends not yet met.” This is so much more open and loving than the word ‘Stranger’
I agree Alison ‘stranger’ is a alienating word it is as if we are making a judgment whereas friends not yet met or even friends waiting to be met has an openness and an inclusiveness to it.
Being open and living each day this way means that we actually living life…rather than merely existing because we are shut down to the connection that is so abundantly available. It’s funny how people can sometimes be surprised or a bit taken aback when you smile or say a simple hello because we are so used to moving through the world in our own separate way. Love your blog Marietta, thank you.
I love the openness with which you express Mariette, to see no one as a stranger opens us up to connecting to the fact that we are all equal within humanity. The idea of strangers for me brings up images of danger something I can recall from childhood where ‘stranger danger’ was an awareness deeply ingrained to try to protect us as children from people and situations that could potentially lead to harm. I can feel how much I still hold this wariness towards others in life but how through shifting this perception to one where we see strangers as family opens us up to truly connecting to others. For me this is definitely a work in progress but I am inspired by your words to begin to open up more and seize the daily opportunities to connect with people more and let go of those beliefs that hold us a part. Thank you.
I agree Jade- when I hear kids being taught of ‘stranger danger’ it never quite feels right because it teaches them to treat everyone with caution instead of teaching them to be open and then in that they are better able to discern who is safe to approach and who isn’t. Otherwise they are taught to be shut down to everyone and in that it overrides a child’s natural way with people.
This brings a trust and a sense of fragility that communicates to others that opening themselves up equally is completely ok, otherwise we are all walking around with the same brick walls built around us and no one wins from that. This not only doesn’t mean we allow everyone into our homes or our personal lives for example, it’s more than this in the sense that it actually supports our natural way of reading energy and discerning for ourselves what feels true and what is not.
Yes it is one thing to have a wall of protection up and another to allow everyone into our lives and homes. It is an art of intimacy I feel to let others in yet not take on absorb what is not ours.
“It is an art of intimacy I feel to let others in yet not take on absorb what is not ours.” I love this Jennifer, the art of letting people in without taking on whats not ours.
The world we live in is defined by differentiations – the nationality, the race, the religion, the gender, the bloodlines, the age, the sexuality, the profession, the wealth… everything can be used as an identification and we use them as a common currency whether to feel connected with others. So many red tapes to go through, so many reason for us not to feel safe and connected. No wonder why we can feel so lonely while living amongst 7 billion others when we forget the one true common currency that we all are born with.
Beautifully expressed Fumiyo
If you consider the possibility that we don’t just live this life, but reincarnate, again and again, how crazy to see people who may have been lovers in another time, meet and treat each other like an alien species that’s just landed in a UFO. When you consider like you do Mariette, that simply we are all one, this whole ‘stranger’ thing is the part that is truly strange. After all it’s like one of your toes waking up one day being surprised that there are others on this foot today. ‘Oh hello – you are like me and are here too?’
I like the toes Joseph. Hey there, there are more like me and we are all interconnected, some on the same foot, some not the other foot of the same person, and there are more feet belonging to other people being the same. I am not alone, I am with many, with billions and in a way all interconnected with one another. Life is so completely different if we can let go of the idea that we are individual and unique. Although each of us is in a way unique in expression, but from the inside we are all the same and in that are all connected to each other as we come from the same source, the source being the universe or God.
Love the way you playfully expose that we are connected to everyone else even if we don’t yet recognise it Joseph. It is crazy to deny it and we all miss out on so much if we stubbornly insist on staying on the narrow path of shutting out the majority of people we come into contact with each day because we are not yet aware of our connection to them.
This makes so much sense Joseph, thank you for pointing that out – yes we could have been lovers or parents or kids to others – no sense in treating people we don’t know with reservation at all.
So well put Joseph. It is crazy especially because when we are in our hearts there is no doubt whatsoever that we are all the same, have the same love within us and no matter what we have chosen all love being adored and held with such love. The only ‘stranger’ part of it is not knowing what another has been up to, but we still know who they innately are
I had a fascinating chat to someone I don’t know that well and they were explaining to me how cut off they were from their family. The family having disowned them for not marrying into the same religion and culture? So the ‘family’ is missing out on a beautiful little girl that they don’t know because of the prejudices they hold get in the way of loving this adorable child. Why is it we allow Ideals and beliefs on what life should be like look like get in the way of just living each day as it comes? How disconnected must we be that we can disown our own families?
It feels very beautiful when I find myself exchanging a smile or a conversation with a total stranger as I walk down the street, then again I know I sometimes feel hurt when they do not reciprocate – exposing that I was actually holding onto an expectation, and measuring and conditioning how much love I am prepared to be.
Oh I relate to that too Fumiyo, having a little pang of ‘oh shame, they didn’t meet me’; learning to let go of that and having no expectations at all lets us be just in the love that we are, knowing that others will feel it even though they may not respond.
Absolutely, kids are awesome at this- they have an amazing way of registering and reading people. Its important to nurture this so that they can hold onto this.
How beautiful Mariette, that with the openness we can hold in ourselves which is actually our ability to be intimate with another brings such a richness and fullness to life and relationships with anyone. Discarding the ‘strange’ and isolation energy that comes from the use of the word ‘stranger’ is very important for humanity today as with this in our belief system we are robbed of the natural way of brotherhood that we are from and can live on a daily basis.
There seems to be a huge focus on strangers in our society, all you have to do is turn on the evening news on the TV and we will see how much we have drifted away from the truth that we are all one in Brotherhood.
I so get what you are sharing here. When we don’t see people as strangers then there is less of a barrier between us and we can be far more discerning as well. We will get a sense of if it is wise to ask that particular person into your home to put up pictures!! It stops being a blanket arrangement.
Absolutely. Our openness allows us to be far more decreeing of who is and is not ok to engage with. This is key – our openness and awareness.
I agree Lucy, when we approach people already shut off to them then we are actually not able to discern situations and read what is really going on.
Thank you, Mariette, for this very inspiring sharing. This is a very interesting subject indeed – a stranger. When does a stranger become a friend? Do I let them in after a few meetings when I can well establish that they are trustworthy? Or could that be a moment after the initial contact? And I also love that when you say “Does this mean that I would invite anybody into my house? No, it doesn’t, because that wouldn’t be honouring of myself” – clearly showing that it is not an ideal that you live by that ‘there is no such thing as strangers’, but it is a natural end result of loving choices you allow for yourself.
Hi Mariette, this blog is gorgeous and filled with so much warmth. It reminds me that we are all only limited by the images we carry with us about the meaning of life and one of those being our perception of ‘Strangers’. Living and moving in openness allows for connection that reflect to us aspects of who we truly are. Today will hold many opportunities to connect to others and this blog has reminded me to not let old beliefs and momentums get in the way. Everything we are and do either harms or heals and what you shared with this person from the tool shop has allowed him to experience something lovely in himself. Thanks for sharing.
“For me there is no such thing as strangers, as we are all connected. Everybody is equal, regardless of where we come from, what we do, or the way we look. We are all one and the same within, each one of us, with unique qualities and talents. We all make different choices, yes, and we may live a thousand miles apart, but to me we are all one big family.” That is so beautifully expressed, Mariette, I love it. It encapsulates what I also feel now about everyone I meet. Having met Serge Benhayon and attending his presentations through Universal Medicine, I have come to absolutely feel the truth of what you have expressed, can so feel in my body that all of us here on our planet come from the one glorious beginning, are all sons of God. When I meet others now, I can feel this great connection between us. But as to whether I would invite someone into my home, I now find I can rely on my own body to show me whether I would at this point trust another to actually come into my home. As you shared, you felt a great connection with this man when you were talking with him in the shop, and you could feel that he was trustworthy. I have had that experience myself, have found myself opening up completely with someone I did not really know well, but could feel was understanding and trustworthy. And this from someone (me) who had previously been so contracted from people and life, and spent most of her life hiding from others. Now I just love interacting with people everywhere, have great conversations with the check-out people, and people on the plane etc. who may be sitting beside me. What a turnaround. Thank you for your sharing here.
Beautiful Beverley, if we open up to other people we give these people the opportunity to do the same, and when we are in that connection, there comes the trust as we can feel we are all the same. Living in this way makes all people in the world being part of one big family, people we can trust and rely on. We are all the same and come from the one source we all know so well (we might ignore this fact and with that we make ourselves separate individuals), the source of love where there is only unity.
Yes, it is amazing how much other people change when we change our behaviour, our movements. Sometimes the difference can be night and day.
Mariette, this is a beautiful take on life and on other people and I feel the same. I have never liked the word stranger – it makes me feel like I have to immediately be wary, guarded and cautious with people I have not yet met. It feels very much at odds with what I feel inside – that everyone is family and everyone has a natural connection to one another.
I agree Susan. The word stranger does not feel so open and welcoming. It is wise to warn children to not speak to strangers however I do feel that this has been somewhat overdone in the way it has been delivered at times. And from this I am sure many of us carry the imprint in their adult bodies that strangers are not safe hence it causes us to be hard in our bodies when this does not need to be the case as your blog beautifully shared.
Lack of connection is our greatest ailment, and the truth is you cannot pretend to be connected to one person, and not the other. It does not work that way. Love knows no such boundaries, and yet we create borders in our mind as though we can corral its magnificence. True love is uncontained and cannot be funnelled in such a way. It is all encompassing, an emanation, a vast sea of connection not only to the people, and the world, but the whole universe.
Adam I love your response here, especially where you say we try to corral the magnificence of love. You are so right that ‘true love is uncontained.’ In our ignorance we think we can direct love; no wonder we feel this lack of connection to each other and ourselves.
Me too Debra and Adam, such a good way to describe how we curtail our magnificent love we all hold within, keeping it enclosed. How awesome when we open the gate so it can run free!
There is such a holding back of the love that we naturally are when we curtail our connection with others. It is such a fallacy to think that love is conditional on who we may trust it to direct to.
The moment we try to contain love, it is not truly love anymore, as we actually have allowed something else to enter that is trying to control the outcome.
Absolutely Adam, all starting with self-love.
What I appreciate here is the vast view you offer Adam, it reminds us that no matter how many different ways and excuses we use to adapt love to be less than what it truly is, doest mean that love changes. Love is ready and all encompassing, patiently waiting for us to realise we have nothing to fear as we are actually love too.
It is our greatest ailment, something most of us have spent our entire adult lives looking to resolve, whether it be with family, relationships, alcohol, drugs, overeating, or over exercising. Nevertheless the path of connection is simple if we choose it.
So true Adam, love knows no boundaries, if we harbor unloving thoughts to anyone, it affects our relationship with those we say we love.
Well said Adam. Growing up thinking I could love one person yet hate another made no sense. How I am in every single moment effects every relationship I have. So if one of my interactions is unloving then this effects my other interactions / relationships with people. It takes responsibility to another level but we all know and feel.
Brilliantly said Adam Warburton – in the name of True Love we can not pick or choose for the love is true by virtue of it being equal and all encompassing.
As a humanity, we have lost a sense of community and can tend to live very insular lives; a combination of busy lives, being exhausted and watching news and media which can make us feel we can’t trust anyone means we have shut down of to each other; when in truth our natural expression as humans is to connect and this is a deep hurt we carry every day.
When we are fully open in our interactions, it gives the opportunity for people to start to trust each other again. We cannot underestimate the importance of the message in this blog.
I agree Gina, we no longer live as communities and families and individuals live isolated from each other. I remember as a child always having family come round or going to their houses. Now months can pass and I don’t even see relatives who live near by. When I connect with someone I haven’t met before at the supermarket or a bus stop, it brings a warm feeling and is a reminder that we are really one big family.
One child shared with me the other day how strange it was when we adults always have to have all these arrangements before seeing each other instead of just popping by and see how things are.
It actually is Matts, and there is such an openness in just popping by to see how things are.
I used to always just drop in on friends when I felt to and they on me and it felt very natural. Somewhere along the line I grew up, as I thought, and felt it only proper to phone or make an arrangement before hand. There was a definite free flow in my life that changed. Recently I have dared to drop in on people a few times and the timing so far has been very spot on and we have had some very purposeful connections. I am feeling to trust my impulses to do this more and it feels great.
Yes Matts, I have experienced this too, we have lost that openness of just popping in on friends, everything is pre-arranged and the feeling is not to disturb another, which suggest we have disconnected from the openness of relationships that this is now our normal ways. I know my friendships are much more like this now.
I know Matts it is totally crazy! There are so many processes for a simple hello now! and so many false barriers that we put up. This is taking away the simplicity of it all.
I like what you have shared Debra – when I was a child I stayed in my holidays at my aunties. I had the feeling that I was related to the whole village. Whenever I did something not so nice – the whole village knew it. Or if I e.g. fell from my bicycle people immediately helped me. I can remember how I love it to stay there . . .
This is true Gina. We live more insular lives than ever before. It makes it all the more worthwhile when we make connections with others, especially those we haven’t met before.
Mariette I love this blog about the openness you shared with this man. It is my experience that there is an immediate connection with some people that builds immediate trust. I am finding that the more I allow myself to be open the more people open up to me. We create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them.
So true Anne, “we create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them.” We miss an opportunity to truly connect, make a friend, learn something, express ourselves, feel trust, and love.
Very true, and it is not even fathomable what that missed opportunity means in the bigger picture.
Indeed Jeanette, by cutting ourselves off from strangers we miss that potential to express and connect with another in our hearts.
This is great way of expressing a stranger – “We create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them.” Perhaps the word is from the fact that when we are not being our full natural selves we are strange as we being something that is not ourself?
Oh lovely play on words – yes, we are strange when we are not truly our selves, we are then ‘strangers’ to our selves too.
This is where the lack of trust develops, within ourselves when we are not connected. Everything horrible in this world comes through people not choosing to connect to their most natural and loving nature.
And yet that state of not being connected to ourselves seems so normal, and to live connected to ourselves abnormal. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon, leading the way in changing that around!
As we develop a deeper relationship with ourselves we also find that our relationships with others expands and deepens too.
And that is just the beginning of re-claiming our lives back to where we came from, where we were all at one with one another. Thanks to Serge Benhayon this is now becoming a reality and no longer a dream.
Great point Julie, its not that we have to go around talking to every person we walk past but we can hold and carry ourselves in a way that is open to everyone.
“Perhaps the word is from the fact that when we are not being our full natural selves we are strange as we being something that is not our self?” That is such a great explanation Julie 🙂
Oh I love this Julie. Yes a disconnection from ourselves is like pulling the plug out of a power-board. Nothing can function without the true electricity of our connection, which in affect openly connects us to the full power supply that is humanity.
I agree Kelly, it is a pretty cool analogy – without electricity or power how can we function. We need our connection both with ourselves and with others – without it end up up flat and depressed!
Anna it is my experience too, with some people it’s immediate connection and trust and others a slow build up of connection and trust. Often that slow connection is due to protection on either person, which is why the immediate connection is not felt. When the protection drops the openness is there to connect.
I agree Amita, I have had similar experiences.
I agree Anne, the level of connection that is expressed in this blog is very natural of how we would operate as a community- it is very natural for people to be open and support each other in this way, however this is something that we have moved away from but yet still many would love to come back too.
So well said Anne; “We create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them.”
I agree. This line is gold Diana. We have the choice to make someone feel like a stranger and literally energetically push them away, or we can choose to welcome them into the warmth of our heart. Either way, not a word needs to be said in these exchanges as we are all picking up on this even if we are just passing in the street.
Absolutely Vicky – we are communicating with each other all the time regardless of whether we are speaking or not..
“We create strangers when we protect ourselves from connecting with them” – this is so true, and beautifully said. The way we experience the world is a choice and it is our own making, no matter how hard we try to reason it otherwise.
There is where the responsibility comes Fumiyo, everything we experience is our choice at some level. No blame, but a fresh new way of seeing the world.
Such a refreshing perspective on what a stranger actually is – a member of one massive family. Imagine if everyone on the planet truly lived by this. How freeing from protection, wariness, guardedness and immediate judgments our interactions would be, to say nothing of the sense of belonging, wherever we went.
And the world would be a safer place because those who wish to harm others would be more exposed.
Well said Helen, that makes sense to me. If we choose we can feel if someone feels safe to be with or not. We all have this natural ability.
Absolutely Mary we can feel whether someone is safe to be with or not.
Naturally in a more loving and open world, where we all felt as one massive family, anyone untrustworthy or wishing to harm another would be easily seen and felt, sticking out like a sore thumb.
Hello Helen and I understand what you are saying. If we all lived like this though, even if a few started then anyone living another way would stand out. It’s not about exposing those that harm but about ‘us’ taking more care, a deeper care in each relationship. This then flows out into the world beyond and the ‘harm’ falls silently into the background.
Good point Ray, it’s us taking responsibility with every movement and interaction, not waiting for everyone else to change their behaviours or attitudes. Lead the way and and by reflection and example others will feel their own Love within.
Helen I love what you have said – it would be really exposing for them and everyone around them would have a loving and respectful way to treat such a person – imagine what a learning for this person.
I love that Cathy – …”what a stranger actually is – a member of one massive family. ” It puts a totally different spin on people we don’t know yet.
It really re defines how we hold family, there are no strangers just people from our family we may not have met this time around.
Absolutely. I love this and this way of thinking as it breaks down the walls of separation we have imposed on ourselves, and is all inclusive – universally so. Simply gorgeous.
How beautiful it would be if everyone actually lived like this, no need for protection, guardedness, judgement. Just a sense of one massive family, the word stranger word not exists. Everyone would feel and connect with everyone.
I just celebrated my birthday and had my husband and two boys with me and everyone else I invited I’ve known for less then a year and some never before but they all felt like close family members. It shows that once you connect to someone and really want to know them there is no difference.
Having experienced an exercise at a workshop with Serge Benhayon where it is so easy to connect with a so called stranger and feel like they are well known, it is clear it is not about “knowing their history”, but about being open to seeing each other who we are – equal beings of love.
Totally – if we think about it there is not much separating each person to person, why not see us as part of a family – I have thought about that before, particularly in supermarkets and places like that, because even though no-one talks to each other, everyone is working towards a common thing, and working around each other etc.
I love this Jessica, there is so much we can all share and learn from each other. Imagine if when we went to go buy our groceries everyone was connecting with each other, sharing how our days are going and how we are feeling, what food supports us or what we buy when we feel this way or that…. I would say there would be a huge and very marked difference in what was placed in trolleys at the end of the shopping trip.
Great Jessica and we can all hold this and ‘make it happen’ as you say. We need not wait or wonder but simply just put what we feel on the ground. If we can see it then it won’t take much for others to see the same, if we look around we see everyone is waiting, possibly see you in the supermarket, kidding.
Yes Cathy, this would be amazing, ‘Such a refreshing perspective on what a stranger actually is – a member of one massive family. Imagine if everyone on the planet truly lived by this.’ I can feel that sometimes, although less and less so that this is how communities can work, that everyone looks after everyone else, where people help out with each others children, where the elderly are looked after by the community – this feels very natural and works, rather than what is becoming more common which is to drive in and out of home and have little or nothing to do with our neighbours only looking after our own family.
Yes we are simply “a member of one massive family”, therefore not one person who we meet is a stranger, all we need to do is to let down the walls, the judgment and the comparison that we often use to keep us from connecting to others.
Agreed, we are all sitting in the same boat and living on the same planet and looked at in truth, we are all working along the same lines – yes, there are many gross aberrations in the way we live but overall, what unifies us is much bigger and stronger than the deviations we have created for ourselves.
Oh yes, very true Ingrid – imagine everybody would just open up and let eveybody in – then we would have heaven on earth. Can’t hardly wait until this is the case.
Me too Alexander, best we don’t wait for other members of the family to go first.
Freeing indeed Cathy. When I’m at work I feel that every customer is coming into my home ( i.e my store) but if we take that a step further: our homes are our hearts. So every connection is just like another part of the puzzle and when it is complete it shows one big family connected as one.
The world has forgotten we are in fact a family.
When a disaster happens and we all rally to help each other we remember we are a family, and so it could be this all the time.
I was sharing with my class this week about how my grandmother said the 2nd World War years were the best of her life. Their jaws dropped as they didn’t get the announcement but when I explained that my grandmother loved the feeling of everyone pulling together, being in the community, looking after strangers and everyone showing enormous acts of kindness they got it. My next words were it’s a shame that we don’t live like this all the time and that it takes a crisis for people to pull together.
Yes Cathy, its beautiful to meet a stranger as equal without guards then it allows them to open up too and trust humanity, if they choose to.
I know Cathy, when we meet someone that we feel a kin to, regardless of wether we know them or not, they do not feel like strangers. When you live with this openness, you realise just how many amazing people there are in this world. What I love about owning cafes is that “strangers” just want to open up, if you make someone their morning coffee they will trust you with anything.
People do want to open up don’t they – it’s just that we’ve become a bit isolated for various reasons so to have a cup of coffee by someone that can bring back that feeling of oneness is pure gold
Awesome Mariette. I love this blog because the joy in my day is derived from the connections I make with all whom I interact with. I especially love chatting to strangers – there is such a purity and openness that can be deemed from such an interaction. It is a clean platform from which to start – no hurts, needs of recognition or pictures attached to the outcome – just simple connection. I find I develop and evolve as an individual when I chat with a stranger because I am incredibly open and often learn something about life, the universe or myself as a result.
I too love the simplicity of connecting with those I have not met before, and this is how I see it – never as strangers.
I too am really loving the joy of connecting with people who I “have not met before”, and I am meeting plenty of them as I am now working in a new area, where before I arrived I knew one person. Not one new person that I am meeting feels like a stranger.
Exactly Julie. The more we let someone in the more we see they are just like us. We fall in love with us and them all at the same time.
Gina I love the idea of a “clean platform from which to start” just simple connection. It’s the reason I so enjoy these so called random connections, and I agree with this openness we get to practice our full expression. I often find yes I learn something but also the conversation fits in somewhere else in my life. So is this person a stranger or a messenger?
Merrilee Pettinato I agree with what you say here
“I often find yes I learn something but also the conversation fits in somewhere else in my life. So is this person a stranger or a messenger?”
I know I was talking to someone I had never met before the other day and that he was giving me a message, I may not have at the time known what it was he was conveying but on a deeper level my body knew. And it is absolutely fascinating to just allow that my body knew exactly what the message was.
Gina, I also love this blog and as you say “…the joy in my day is derived from the connections I make with all whom I interact with.” We live in a highrise apartment building with about 65% resident and 35% visitors here on business or holidays often from other countries from around the world. Because we live on the 22nd floor we have ample opportunity to share moments either waiting for lifts or in the lift as it slowly rises to the different levels. The moments of communication may sometimes be brief – but the feeling of connectedness is evident, a true indication that we are indeed all of the One, no matter the ‘culture’ background, age or religion practised in this life. We are all innately Love first and that is what I feel in the momentary exchanges.
Roberta Himing what an opportunity your lift provides for a ‘ momentary exchange’ I love the simple wisdom you shared and I have also felt, no matter who the person from whatever background ” we are innately Love first” How different are our connections and do our lives for that matter appear, when we hold that as our truth….. No such thing as strangers just Love reflecting Love.
It is so true Gina and there is such an innocent joy in connecting to and speaking with people we don’t know. Everyday we have an opportunity to reveal more about ourselves and the world, to enjoy simple interactions, to share a smile and a real eye to eye connection, it is the most natural thing in the world and this is how we make friends, talking openly to people we don’t know.
I agree Rowena – when I observe small children I notice that they are willing to go and speak to any other child, it is a natural thing for them to do – no holding back, judgement, reservations. We seem to grow up and shut down – when the world is crying out for an openness for us all to live and share.
Yes Gina, I feel an openness with new people that I meet too. We nurture the connection rather than the disconnection. This can inspire the relationships we have with everyone, inspring us to bring that same openness and those fresh eyes to our friends, family and people we work with.
Simone that’s a nice expansion ” we nurture the connection rather than the disconnection. “. We often get a ‘kick’ out of meeting a stranger and it offers us a fresh reflection on ourselves and our world, but as you say Simone it’s to bring this same nurturing of the connection to the people in our lives everyday and don’t become complacent, not appreciating and valuing our reflection in those relationships.
Great point Simone Gibson. Yes, opening up to ‘new people’ offers us the opportunity to revitalise established relationships too. We must consider whether we have made ‘strangers’ of those who we are already in relationship with.
I love this Gina, and how true this is, when we meet with a stranger we come to it without the pictures and expectations when we come from a place of openness. Every chance meeting then becomes an opportunity to connect, grow and learn. Removing the element of ‘stranger danger’ opens us up to being more open and connected to life.
A great comment on a great blog. I love these interactions too Gina and I am very blessed in my work, because I am in very close physical proximity to people everyday. There truly is no strangers when we work with awareness and not a known history.
I have patients who share more of themselves with me, are more open and receptive in 60 seconds than family members who have known me since I was born. This makes me wonder about who is stranger…
If we are truly able to feel other people as they are, then they can’t be strangers. They may be more or less trustworthy or reliable or loving but in all cases we know them.
Because deep at the core of our being we are love, each and every one of us, with no exceptions. When we look for and recognise this light in another we can never fall for the illusion that we are different, we merely have differing expressions of this one light that is our love.
Beautifully expressed Liane: ‘Because deep at the core of our being we are love, each and every one of us, with no exceptions.’
I absolutely agree with this Liane, “When we look for and recognise this light in another we can never fall for the illusion that we are different, we merely have differing expressions of this one light that is our love.” And what is so important for us all to understand and appreciate is that each and everyone of us has something unique to offer the rest of the world via our own expression of that one love.
That is so true Liane, when we look for and recognise the light in another we will naturally feel we are one with all around us.
That is true Liane and I may add – if I met a person truly my heart is joyful. It is that my heart knows exactly that we are all one hence there is no other way than feeling this joy of realizing this fact.
True Esther, that’s why we should never hold back what is there to be expressed to another. Stranger or not it’s the same Joy!
Yes and in that love, we cannot be strangers.
I love what you have shared here Liane Mandalis. Expectations stop us getting to the core that is equal in all of us.
So true – and very beautiful Liane Mandalis.
And when we connect to the essence of another from a foundation of connecting with ourselves, there can be no strangers because we are seeing the reflection of ourselves. Confirming that life is a mirror 🙂
“from a foundation of connecting with ourselves” – this is the real deal! And how does one do this? For me it’s breathing gently, letting go of tension in my body, being aware of my body-parts, expressing what I feel.
Marika this is true. When we are connected to ourselves its easy to see the beauty in another as a reflection back. Life is a mirror in very sense! Sometimes we choose to see the refection, at other times most deliberately turn away, but everything is shown to us all the time.
This is the crux of it! When we have that loving relationship with self then it is easy to have that relationship with others. When I was a teenager I wasn’t very happy and wondered why “nobody liked me” – it didn’t occur to me that what I was observing was simply a reflection of how I saw myself – we get back what we put out and so of course if we are open and light then people will be open and light around us!
When I was a teenager I wasn’t very happy and wondered why “nobody liked me” – it didn’t occur to me that what I was observing was simply a reflection of how I saw myself” Michelle this in itself is pretty huge. How many teenagers and children feel this way? Imagine if we connected to this truth what a difference that would make to how we perceive others to be towards us and how we feel about ourselves.
How many? Almost all I would say, and this is not confined to children. How we feel about ourselves is written all over our face no matter what image we attempt to project. How do we expect people to respect us if we don’t respect ourselves.
Love this Marika, seeing ourselves reflected in others and coming with a foundation of connection to self, makes what we see in others merely a reflection of the choices we are choosing in life. It shows the true learning that is possible when we see every interaction with another as an opportunity to grow, learn and connect.
We are blessed with a myriad of reflections each day and each one offers us something to observe. For me this allows me to feel how truly accepting I am of another and whether I have expectations which keep others at a distance. With more awareness my understanding grows and this connection allows me to feel the interconnectedness of everyone. So true what you say Jade ‘what we see in others merely a reflection of the choices we are choosing in life’ and with this understanding we can gain a deeper connection to our true way of expression in life.
Having expectations of others means that we have set up images of who we think they are or how we think they will behave and these images can stop us from seeing who is there. When we allow our feelings to guide us then perhaps we can be more open to everyone.
Yes Marika, the power of reflection through another is a great way to discover what we are choosing. So, in truth how can anyone be a stranger?
How we may appear has been shaped by our choices and how we act by that which we align to and are open to, however our very essence remains unchanged and at our core, we are always the same.
That is beautiful Michael – as we learn to confirm within the depth and grace that we are in our very essence we see others with that same abiding love.
“At the core we are always the same” very true Michael, we can make ourselves look different, we can choose different languages and cultures yet inside we are all the same. Getting back to the truth of who we are we rediscover we are in fact one and not separate as the illusion of life would have us believe.
Beautiful Michael yes we are love to the core. Its the appreciation and acceptance of our core that is the key player for our connection forevermore.
Yes Michael Chater – and I have come to see how when I live in the protection of myself – because I fear feeling hurt again – I am in truth staying disconnected from the unchanged essential Oneness we are all from. When I allow myself to feel the hurt I feel how it is all about missing this place where we are all the same and all One.
Well said Michael, and it is because of this that seeing another for there essence is a true gift to give.
When we can truly feel people they are no longer strangers that’s true, being able to feel also gives us the ability to discern, allowing us to feel their quality as you say Christoph, so we know whether someone is trustworthy or reliable.
Hello Rosemary and I agree with what you are saying. Our ability to feel and discern from there comes from a ‘living’ relationship with ourselves and whatever else is around us. So in a relationship with a person, whether 5 seconds or 5 decades that dedication to feeling and responding from there is everything. No need to gauge ‘trustworthy or reliability’ as it is all answered from how you are with yourself before you walk to the person. In other words and as we are saying you feel it.
I agree Christoph, when we can understand that there isn´t such a thing as strangers once we are open and allow to feel other people than we can bring this understanding also to the subject of “refugees” to drop existing fears and prejudices. We can start to welcome and connect with families in our suburbs and might me surprised how much we can inspire and learn from another.
Love what you have shared here Christoph Schnelle as the connection we have with each other is so simple when we make our life about being one rather than many.
I really enjoyed reading your blog Mariette. It’s true that strangers do not have to be strangers and there is much joy in making connections with people you don’t know even if it is a smile, or a short exchange. Today, whilst at the supermarket there was a family with two young kids. The very little one was have an enormous tantrum and the sound was richocheing off the walls of the supermarket. The parents were “on it” and were making a hasty retreat through their embarrassment. I made a passing comment about how I took my hat off to all parents everywhere and they looked at me with enormous smiles and made a joke back to me. We shared a couple more exchanges and it felt so very lovely to connect with them.
I love connecting with “strangers” too. They are moments that are the highlight of my day – the moment of expansion they offer is gorgeous leaving me feeling full of joy and even more open!
Rachel I agree, there are many opportunities to be loving and open with others. A true connection can be deeply felt, regardless of how long or short the exchange is.
Thank you Mariette and yes, high time we truly understand what we are implying by calling people we don’t know “strangers”, when in reality they are not strange, we just don’t know them yet. When we apply this term to people we don’t know yet, it means that we are all strange to one another, so where does that leave us? How can we make friendships and have relationships if everyone we meet is strange? How amazing and gorgeous you feel in your openness and trust, what a huge breath of fresh air you are in a world where we are encouraged to be suspicious and afraid of one another. What is so gorgeous is that the more open, honest and trusting we are of one another, the more evident it becomes when we meet someone we might not wish to invite into our homes because the interaction does not feel transparent and simple. When we stay open, we are able to gain so much more information about someone in an instance than we close our hearts and withdraw in reaction to the un-known.
“How amazing and gorgeous you feel in your openness and trust, what a huge breath of fresh air you are in a world where we are encouraged to be suspicious and afraid of one another. ” It is amazing to feel Mariette and what she offers us in her blog. People are so protected and afraid of another even at work or in teams if there is not somebody who starts open up and drops the guard.
That guardedness and protection can be experienced everywhere – from between individuals and religions to between nations. What a great world we would have if we all dropped our guards, let each other in.
I agree Janina and Rowena. Mariette is an inspriation in the way she is so open and welcoming to everyone she meets, and I know from my own experience that the more open I am with other people the more they open up to me and it is truly lovely to have spontaneous conversations with people who I have never met, but can invite a more willing and open interaction with them.
Yes Mariette is an inspiration for sure. Thinking about it, if how open we are also has a effect on how open others are with us, this gives a clear view of the fact that we create our own reality. So it is our responsibility as well how others are with us, not to say if we are open everyone will be open but our own choices do make a huge difference.
Really like this Rowena, staying open does make us more perceptive and able to easily feel when someone is being honest or not. It is refreshing to know that this is a choice we can all choose to make, and as you say takes the ‘strange’ out of meeting new people and opens you up to seeing others as equal to you.
This is so true. And I have found that the more natural and open I am allows another to be the same. Quite often people I have never met before share the most intimate and personal sharings with me and I know it’s because of the lovely open connection.
I agree Johanna, there a safety that is felt between people when our hearts are open.
I love that. Taking the ‘strange’ out of stranger.
True Jade, being open you discover who you are too and not live in distance or a stranger to our own feelings.
You are so right Rowena about how amazing the world we live in when we are open with ourselves. Others can feel there are no underlying motives and as you said there only transparency and a simple connection.
Very true Rowena Stewart. Labelling everyone a stranger closes us down generally – whereas when we are open, we can really feel the essential interaction with another and we can ‘read’ so much more. This is far from the blind trust of all it might appear to be, but is an act of true awareness with eyes – and all our senses fully open.
Knowing another not as a stranger but as a neighbour is the difference between the holding back and opening up to another. So often we can build pictures and ideas about who to trust and not to trust based on a familiarity. But what if this was not true?