In my teenage years when I was very active and sporty, the words ‘gentle exercise’ were like a foreign language to me. I had a black belt in karate, represented my state in basketball, won tennis championships, and I regularly went swimming and to the gym – it was an area of my life where I was considered successful. On reflection, I was not as successful as I could have been as there was always a drive to do better, achieve more or win more championships.
The way I had to push my body with karate is something I find hard to re-visit. There are memories of running barefoot on gravel and not wanting to come last because I would be made to do it again; memories of smashing my shins into those of heavy, grown men – and I was a delicate 12 year old girl in a class of adults.
My focus during exercise was always on pushing my body to do more. There was no enjoyment in the process of exercising – instead my mindset was that it was good for my body; or that by winning I was better than others.
When I used to look at my body it was almost with a cloudy vision and I would look at what I didn’t like … my thighs could be thinner, or my hips not so wide.
Recently I started doing weekly exercise classes with Danielle Pirera and her Re-Connect Exercise program. These classes and their gentle way of exercising are like no other exercise I have experienced before. I have been able to break a lot of my old patterns of how I exercised as well as discover the beauty and power of my body.
Doing Re-Connect Exercise classes with Danielle feels amazing; to move my body and to build my strength in a way where I am listening to my body and am present with my body and what I am feeling. My body feels vibrant with a real flow through it now. There is no longer the continual heaviness in my legs that I often experienced. Over the last 6 months the way I view my body has changed so dramatically: now when I look at my body I see a beautiful, powerful, strong and sexy woman.
I have also been able to heal the damage I did to myself from my former ways of exercising. The first time Danielle suggested push-ups against the wall, I cringed at the thought and I was thrown back to memories of my karate days. But this time I was able to do the push-ups in a different way and re-imprint how I now know push-ups can be – healing for the body and not harming it.
As a high school student I would wear ankle weights daily and I was constantly trying to make sure no one noticed. And they were so uncomfortable! I wanted my legs to be thinner and more toned and I thought by wearing ankle weights I could speed up achieving this goal. I recently bought myself some ankle weights to use in the Re-Connect Exercise class. The first time I went to put them on, I nearly couldn’t – the memories of my teenage years were almost too much for me. I went straight back to the huge lack of self-worth I felt as a seventeen year old. I did put them on, however this time I did it with love for my body and because I wanted to support my leg exercises and not to change the shape of my legs.
To re-visit that time of my life has been so incredibly healing; I could begin to let go of all the pain I carried from those years when I hated my body and was so consumed by how my body looked.
To exercise in a gentle way while being fully present with myself blows other ways of exercising out of the water.
My way of exercising in my teenage years left a bad taste in my mouth and from that I shunned traditional forms of exercise. Discovering this new way of gentle exercise has allowed me to discover a different way of being with my body. I have entered into a new relationship with my body – one that is based on love and support and I’m looking forward to further developing this new long term relationship.
Inspired by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
By Nikki McKee, Administration, Goonellabah, Australia
Further Reading:
Exercise – it doesn’t need to be hard work
Exercise and My Body
My Turnaround from Competitive Running to Connection with Me
612 Comments
I have a very similar relationship with exercise, before and after! Before it was rough and careless, now it’s supportive and gentle. I feel stronger and more vital now than I did back then. Most likely because I don’t get muscle cramps the following day every time I exercise now like I used to.
Great Article Nikki, as 40 years of train had to be re-imprinted by me by being gentle as presented in the “Re-Connect Exercise classes with Danielle” and I amazed at the level of vitality and strength obtained in these simple classes.
When we focus on the feeling that we are not enough and needing to do more we are feeding ourselves poison, far better to make our focus on the amazing being we are and from their exercise is done in the holding energy of love.
Glorious to read Nikki, our body surely deserves love, respect and honouring, ‘ I have entered into a new relationship with my body – one that is based on love and support and I’m looking forward to further developing this new long term relationship.’
I had a similar experience when I first went into a gym again after years of staying clear of gyms because of the fanatical way I had previously exercised. Nothing was done in a gentle way, I actually believed the more my body hurt and aches the better my exercise work out was. Now, I couldn’t possibly think of exercising in that way because I would absolutely loose connection to my body.
It is great to recognise that some of our behaviours were not always in the best interests of our body, and to replace that with a new way of being that is honouring, supportive and cherishing of our body.
The way you describe karate makes me shiver nowadays. But in the past I used to admire people when had advanced skills in “martial arts”, like many people do in society. Now I can see what pursuing these kind of sports do to your body: you cannot practice these sports for a long time without it having a permanent negative effect on your body. A body that basically is tender and delicate and not meant to be hard and insensitive.
“now when I look at my body I see a beautiful, powerful, strong and sexy woman.” A beautiful exercise in being fit for life.
It is through being gentle in all that we do, that we discover the true power within our bodies.
Likewise Nikki, the way I used to exercise as a teenager has had to be unlearnt as it always used to lead to me hurting myself from over doing it. However, its been hugely worthwhile as what I do now as exercise has given me a lovely relationship with my body which I value enormously and supports me in all sorts of different things that I do through my day.
I remember when I first went back to the gym after having been much more gentle and honouring of my body and i had similar experiences. I did not do weights as I considered this too much for me at the time Now reading your blog I realise I could bring weights back into my exercises sessions. I have not been to the gym for a while either and maybe that would also be a fun way to get more strength in my body . There is a gym five minutes from my house. Thank you Nikki .
Reading your blog has inspired me to get out my weights and exercise program and start to gently exercise to support my body all the while bringing a loving tender presence.
Yes Nikki, we are so used to not having a relationship with our body, that the moment we actually connect it is quiet shocking — not so much that it is unknown, but more so we can feel that it is so known yet have not been lived for a long time.. The moment we are honest, we instantly can connect and deepen our relationship with ourselves.
It is interesting that we are never really taught about really caring for and looking after our bodies- it is like we have this sense of entitlement with our bodies that we can do whatever we like with them. We would never do to a baby the many things we are prepared to do to ourselves, for example, you wouldn’t give a baby coke yet we drink it without really thinking about it.
Nikki no one talks about exercise this way, they champion results from going hard at it, but no one is generally open about the physical and emotional effects of exercising in such a punishing way, or the self loathing that is often motivating us. I feel it’s really important to talk openly about the effects of how we exercise on the whole person, not just the physical results, because we may not realise we are being abusive with ourselves but justifying it because we become more fit, muscly or toned.
” Doing Re-Connect Exercise classes with Danielle feels amazing; to move my body and to build my strength in a way where I am listening to my body and am present with my body and what I am feeling. ”
I did classes with Danielle and I felt the same in that it was like I was learning to consciously be aware of all my body when I was moving. The depth of movement involved with the whole body when just doing one physical moment is just incredible. One tiny physical moment moves the whole body as all the body adjusts to the slightest movement.
Its interesting to note how I used to exercise too — it was all about pushing myself to be stronger, faster, perform better.. Total (nervous system) stimulation because that was what was only known in the body at the time. I commend the Esoteric Modalities that showed me Harmony in the body. This is now my focus when I exercise – exercising in gentleness in maintaining connection supports holding my innermost harmony.
“To exercise in a gentle way while being fully present with myself blows other ways of exercising out of the water.” When we exercise with love and gentleness our body says ‘Thank you.’
I used to push my body big time with all types of exercise, thinking it was good for me, the problem was I never really listened to what my body wanted. These days my body speaks loudly, and I have to listen.
Our bodies are so responsive to love and loving exercise – best investment ever.
I agree revisiting what we had issues with can be very healing, we do not need to own it and become drowned in emotions. We can observe what was going on and make a change in how we respond. We can heal whatever hurt by the choices we make.
Exercise is a great way to develop and learn about the power in your body, there’s so much we can learn about ourselves and grow in the everyday things we need to do.
Reminds me of being a teenager and doing volley ball at quite a high level, the only focus was the commitment to the ball at any cost, I would have 10 bruises on each inner arm and 20 on each shin. It was horrific but I at the time loved it because I loved team sports and that is where I can see the bastardisation of brotherhood in the world. I fell for it hook line and sinker! Now sport just seems to be the opposite as whilst the intention is to win and smash the opposition it is really not about brotherhood!
I also, like many, got hooked into thinking being part of a team was brotherhood. Caught feels. From what I know and feel brotherhood to be now, is very different to what I experienced through sport. While I thought I felt it on the field or court we were playing on, when the game was over it was very clear it wasn’t, as most went their seperate ways.
Regular gentle exercise is really important for our bodies health and wellbeing – and I have loved how you have shared your experiences of this Nikki and how you have totally reimprinted it to a way in which your body is far more loved and honoured when you now exercise.
It’s just crazy the way we treat our delicate bodies in order to seek any form of recognition, approval or acceptance. I certainly fell into the trap of thinking I had to exercise hard to achieve the results I was looking for, but in all honesty I did not truly or deeply feel contentment. As you say here ‘To exercise in a gentle way while being fully present with myself blows other ways of exercising out of the water.’ – and the beautiful thing is that we have to opportunity to build and strengthen not only our physical bodies but also deepening our connection to our bodies and being whilst we are exercising. A win win in all regards.
Its deepening that connection that is such a key ingredient in life, and totally missed out on in the way I was taught about exercise as a child.
A lot of harm is inflicted on the physical body under the guise of being good for us, as in certain exercise regimes or when it comes to nutrition and diet advice.
Yes it is really ironic isn’t it?!
How incredible the changes that can happen with even just a drop of self-love in to a sea of low self-worth. It is like being in a sea of turmoil and finding a boat, a safe haven where everything makes sense because there is love and it is you – you are the love you have been looking for. This, is a very precious thing.
I have recently started to exercise a bit more and wow does my body thank me for it, I have a very sedentary job where I do a lot of driving so as long as I am connected exercising is a real joy for my body.
“My focus during exercise was always on pushing my body to do more. There was no enjoyment in the process of exercising – instead my mindset was that it was good for my body.” Me too. Nowadays and with the support and encouragement from Bev Carter’s online exercise programmes my relationship with exercise has shifted dramatically and I now really enjoy exercising because I am now staying with my body rather than trying to get through the exercises as quickly as possible so I can go on to do other things. Bringing presence to whatever I do has changed all that I do in life.
Its hard to describe what life is like when you have a sense of you in your body if you have never felt that before, but it is still worth describing what life is like living, exercising, eating and working with that sense of you for then the possibility and value of it is known.
Exercise must be connected with gentleness… it is our true nature
Reading this article and the impact Karate had on Nikki, is something that needs to be talked about more. There is great harm, first in why we choose to have our bodies ‘bashed’ by a sport and secondly why we actually champion and continue with this sport, even after we have felt the impact of it. The sad thing is the mindset that supports our behaviour here is all around us and it takes great courage to go against the tide.
I feel your utter willingness to go there Nikki, to face the ghosts and to bring new ways of being to how you are with exercise and it’s very inspiring and telling as it shows no matter where or how we’ve been there is another way when we’re ready and willing to look.
Reading that first paragraph I’m reminded of that awful saying ‘the price of success’. It indicates that there is a heavy toll to pay, in pain or in selling out. Lets just revisit that word success a moment… as our definition of that defines the abuse we will allow, or the love that we let in.
You will not be the first or the last person to hate their body Nikki, which is why we abuse our bodies in obvious and the not so obvious ways. Very inspiring to read the healing that has taken place for you as the relationship with your body changes and deepens. When we are ready to let go of our hurts or past traumas, I have found that there is so much support available to help us do just that.
It was interesting to go back and read this blog and see how my relationship with my body continues to change, depend and heal. I had totally forgotten about the trauma I put myself through with ankle weights and how much came up for me when I first went to put them on again. This has completely cleared from my body. It’s amazing the hurts we carry around in our bodies that we have forgotten about it. Then when we do re-visit them and address them that they can completely go. So much time spent carrying things around that don’t belong!
So very true and I had to giggle because you are known as the queen of decluttering.
Yes, always happy to get rid of what’s not needed 🙂
It is a beautiful thing to realise that we can do exercises without a push or drive of wanting to better ourselves or a specific body part. That exercise can be done because it feels so good in the body and it is such a joy to exercise with ourselves. I really thought this was not possible a couple of years ago but I can. I wonder how many things we think are impossible that are actually very possible when we give it a go.
Thank you Nikki for a great article showing me how much my body is missing loving and tender exercise, inspiring how you are re-impring the way you now exercise so different to how you exercised in such a driven way in your younger life.
Bring love into exercise and you will never ever be able to hurt yourself anymore as our bodies are so sensitive and tender and need that regular exercise to stay healthy and fit to the end of its days.
I too had a dodgy relationship with exercise and body image for decades which I have only truly started to re-imprint in the last 4 years. And it’s all been about finding the love in the process, and in me, as has been described here so well by Nikki. It’s about supporting my body, and no longer fitting in with an ideal or belief.