Where do I begin with this subject?… I have so much to write. I begin with myself; to share how drinking alcohol – the true picture – affected my family and myself from childhood and throughout our lives. I want to show the true picture, the ripple effect alcohol had on all my family and relationships, even though I myself did not get addicted to alcohol.
As a child, I remember feeling a cold house with a cold atmosphere. We did have electricity in the house but no real warmth or love – for me as a child, this was the most damaging; and how my parents became unrecognisable with the abuse of alcohol, and how very unsafe I felt.
Through the eyes of a child, when my parents drank alcohol they started to change and behave differently; they no longer felt like my parents and this was a very scary experience as their faces started to distort. And as they drank more and more alcohol their voices changed, they became very loud and aggressive. It was like at any stage, depending on when they felt like drinking, I would no longer have my parents.
In complete contrast, the times when they were not drinking alcohol, when my parents were sober, they were really quiet and good people – gentle people, very gentle and simple in how they lived. They both worked very hard as they had six children to support. My father stopped working through stress and long hours, so then my mother went out to work to support us all. They were generous people, my parents, always helping relatives and neighbours in need.
The Effects of Alcohol
As a child, the effects of my parents drinking alcohol were still felt. I remember feeling so different, and that I did not fit in or belong in my family. How would I survive and cope?
It was then the anxiousness set in as I felt my environment to be unsafe. I had become so anxious that this feeling of being unsafe was present even on those occasions when my parents weren’t drinking.
Once the anxiousness set in, everything changed…
Feeling anxious in my body took me away from the innocence and stillness within me; like being in calm waters to then find yourself in turbulent waters, it did not feel good. As a consequence I developed a lack of commitment to life. I feel the depth of this now, and the effect my parents drinking alcohol had on me:
- I did not want to ‘be here’ and I could not ‘do’ life (this was very strong)
- Wherever I went, the anxiousness never left me
- I had huge trust issues – trusting no one
- I was deeply insecure
- My emotions controlled me
- I was becoming like my parents, except without the alcohol.
In other words, early on I had fallen into the habit of disconnecting from my body so as to not feel the effects my parents drinking alcohol and the drama and emotions had on me. That is how I lived for the next 40 or so years of my life.
As an adult I drank very little and very rarely, so I was not addicted to alcohol and felt I was doing better than my parents, which I now realise was not true. I left home at 17, but looking back it feels like I had never truly left my parents’ house because wherever I went my emotions followed me.
Addicted to the Side Effects of Alcohol… Emotions
I did not get addicted to alcohol but I did get addicted to the emotions and drama that play out with drinking alcohol. I came to this important revelation by having regular esoteric healing sessions. I saw that my emotions had always controlled me. So I did not escape, not at all.
I took on the same behaviour as my parents, but without actually drinking alcohol. Many times I was unable to restrain the uncontrollable anger I held inside. I held deep anger towards my mother for a long time: I blamed her for all my struggles, for not providing the love and warmth I needed as a child, for not seeing me for who I was, and for my always feeling unsafe and so on…
Anger is a destructive emotion. It feels to me, with anger, I opened the door to aggression, blame, hate (of myself), control, ugliness and much more, everything that is not love or light, everything that is the exact opposite of our true and natural essence: LOVE.
I had no addiction to alcohol, yet here I was with all these raging emotions controlling me and keeping me disconnected from my body. I was no different to my parents.
The side effects of alcohol didn’t stop at only ‘my’ emotions… my emotional behaviour also influenced my children – they too took on all of these emotions. Even my four-year old grandson often experiences uncontrollable emotional outbursts: four generations affected by alcohol.
True Healing from the Effects of Alcohol
My physical body did not escape the effects of alcohol and the consequences of years of running it with anxiousness, anger, deep self-loathing, lack of commitment to life and disconnection (checking out). In July 2011, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This stopped me in my tracks.
At that time I was blessed to meet Serge Benhayon. By attending Universal Medicine presentations and courses, as well as consulting an esoteric practitioner trained by Serge, I have worked on my issues and received many insights and much healing.
Today I feel so much more in my body. When I took responsibility for my life and all my choices, everything changed. The anger I held for my mother left me when I stopped blaming her. It took a lot longer for me to ‘feel safe’, but when I did, my anxiousness started to subside and weakened; once more I swim in calm waters.
Healing my issues has healed my anxiousness. Being willing to heal my issues shows my True Commitment To Life, which is True Healing – true healing from alcohol.
A commitment to life and self can bring about true healing for those who choose it, so that we are not forever at the mercy of the damaging effects of alcohol and our past choices…
I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself. Being present in my body means I can express that which I had felt I could not express as a child. I see now it has always been my choice, and that the anger towards my mother and my parents drinking alcohol, was perhaps more anger at myself for choosing to leave my innocence, my stillness, my knowingness; my beautiful, sweet divine self, the angelic child that I was.
Alcohol is an Evil and Poisonous Substance. Drinking alcohol has effects well beyond what we are often willing to consider or take responsibility for. By sharing the true picture and the true damage for my family and myself, my experience shows how it robs us of everything that is pure and innocent and divine. On some level we ALL know this to be true.
Deeply Inspired by the Presentations And Courses of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
By Jacqueline McFadden –Scotland
Related Reading:
My Mother – Beautiful Flower, Beautiful Angel
626 Comments
I feel from experience that when we shut ourselves down from the emotional hurts that we feel and do not know how to deal with; we don’t realise the damage this can have on our bodies.
Universal Medicine is a game changer because it gives everyone the opportunity to make changes in their lives which are more supportive so that they can dissect and heal with the understanding that they are more than just their emotional hurts. I personally feel that there is nothing out there quite like Universal Medicine for understanding our bodies and how we can reconnect back our essence which is at the core of every human- being.
I love how you have exposed here how we can be addicted to emotions – very telling and very important we consider this when giving up anything that we know is not truly good for us.
No matter our age or where we are in life we can heal the past so it no longer is a part of our lives. It does require a commitment but above all the absolute love for self.
“When I took responsibility for my life and all my choices, everything changed” True and healing change comes when we stop blaming others or something outside of us and take responsibility for how we choose to live.
Well done Jacqueline for calling out that alcohol is evil and a poisonous substance. Not only does alcohol poison our bodies but it seeps in and corrodes our relationships.
Jaqueline, thank you for sharing this; ‘I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself.’ This is a great reminder that staying present in our bodies is key.
Staying safe is only a feeling that we can give to ourselves by staying with, accepting and dealing with what we can feel. Going deeper within, and really knowing, accepting and adoring who we are. When we shut down from what we don’t want to feel, we also cut ourselves off from our own source of love and care which never needs protecting and never goes anywhere.
Alcohol played a huge part in our upbringing in my family, so much so that every occasion was based around having a drink. If ever anyone came to visit the first thought would be to make sure we had enough rum and coke and beers in.
Thank you for sharing how it felt for you to be around parents who drank, and the effect it had on you, ‘In other words, early on I had fallen into the habit of disconnecting from my body so as to not feel the effects my parents drinking alcohol and the drama and emotions had on me. That is how I lived for the next 40 or so years of my life.’ We are not always choosing to be aware of the consequences of our actions, responsibility at all times is so important.
Alcohol is an excuse to avoid responsibilty, a pretext to hide the hurts, a try to cope with life without feeling, a way of being part of something else while betraying the delicateness that we are… a poison that separates us from purpose and supress our unique nature. It is clear that nothing good will come from consuming it..
This is so impactful to expose the harming effect of alcohol that is so much more far reaching than the person who drinks.
Yes, the knock on consequences of drinking alcohol are huge and need to be exposed.
Whilst alcohol is often the fuel that flames many many horrible and disturbing situations it is never the true cause. We must remember that. It is the underlying hurts that continue to fester in ones body whilst they are not dealt with that when expressed give rise to such situations. And what is the way to heal our hurts? Reconnect with our Soul, our true essence for if you don’t you remain a puppet for your spirit which manipulates you through your unresolved hurts.
I find it very interesting that a substance such as alcohol, that can change someones state of being after just one drink (or even one sip), and whats more is so damaging to ones health, is not only so widely and easily accessible but is also so readily accepted as being ‘normal’. In fact if you choose not to drink you are often thought of as ‘abnormal’. A world without alcohol would be a very different place indeed.
“I had no addiction to alcohol, yet here I was with all these raging emotions controlling me and keeping me disconnected from my body. I was no different to my parents.” this is such an eye opening statement Jacqueline it really does take the judgement out of what we perceive to be ‘bad’. Thank you.
The power of wanting to fit in and be accepted is so overwhelming that we over ride our initial feelings of what alcohol does to those around us and the impact that this has. To stand strong and not cave into what the ‘normal’ thing is to do by drinking alcohol is very inspiring and a huge confirmation that it is totally possible and a choice. It’s never too late to make it even if we spent most of our adulthood life drinking, we can always say no at any point. It certainly changed my life.
This highlights deleterious effect that alcohol has not only on our body and being, but also the harm and abuse that is paid forward, through us, to our family and the effect this has on our communities. When we begin to realise how our every move has a huge impact in this world we then will begin to see how grossly abusive it is on all counts to poison ourselves with alcohol. So where to if we cannot use alcohol to numb and avoid feeling our hurts? Only through honesty and being open to healing our hurts will we come to feel the love we already are and can never be tarnished, and just how powerful we are when we choose to live in connection to the love that honors all of who we are.
Thank you for exposing how wide the harm caused by alcohol extends and that it can go down the generations whether alcohol is consumed or not. We will only address the evil of alcohol when we are willing to acknowledge that this is the reality for so many living today whether a drop of alcohol has passed their own lips or not.
Your description of a cold house is chilling as you give such a clear perspective of how a vulnerable child can feel like their parents are taken away by an addiction to alcohol. And as common as this is, it continues to happen everywhere.
This s so inspiring to have the next generation actually seeing what has been chosen in the past by previous generations and how that it hasn’t worked. Doing what feels true for ourselves and listening to our bodies is key.
Yes, honouring ourselves and our bodies is key, not blindly following others.
A very honest example of the fact that the ripple effect of not only alcohol, but also emotional chaos in a family, leaves no one untouched; everyone one is affected. Unfortunately, if this continues the children are more than likely to be affected for the rest of their lives unless they come across the amazing healing you did. And to begin to heal these very old issues will be the difference between living in true connection to yourself and the joy that comes with it, or simply just getting by in life; existing not truly living.
When I look back and see how it could have been different, I could have chosen to honour what I really felt and not follow the ingrained way of living where Alcohol is our normal day-to-day way of living and it being normal. But it’s never to late to make a different choice and stopping alcohol is one of the best I have chosen.
Having seen the affects of alcohol abuse in my family too it was a very similar experience and those affected by it are still carrying the hurts long into their adult lives as in life it is not really considered that a way out of this is to deal with the hurts we carry and the patterns that come from them.
“I came to realise the only way to stay safe is to stay in my body and to stay present with myself. Being present in my body means I can express that which I had felt I could not express as a child” and hear in lies the first steps to true healing. Thank you for sharing your journey Jacqueline how awesome you were able to offer such understanding to this situation and within that heal childhood hurts.
I was reminded recently of the nastiness of the energy that comes with drinking alcohol. The spitefulness that comes from a body that is pure love, the irresponsibility and the arrogance of that person totally unconcerned about the ripple effect of the words they have used and the way they have behaved. I am enormously appreciative of that reflection because there might have been a moment, just a moment, where I forgot what it felt like to be on the receiving end of it.
The responsibility of dealing with our hurts is undervalued and under appreciated. We cannot continue to blame others for the experiences we had, because that leaves us in an emotional tornado that never goes and only causes us severe physical and mental harm. We repel and then blame, we lash out and then defend. Taking responsibility means we bring the focus to what we can change, our focus, our energy, our tornado.
If we do not deal with our hurts they come with us no matter which country we move to ‘start afresh’
” A commitment to life and self can bring about true healing for those who choose it, so that we are not forever at the mercy of the damaging effects of alcohol and our past choices ”
This is very important , for free will is a constant choice.
Awesome Jacqueline – “By sharing the true picture and the true damage for my family and myself, my experience shows how it robs us of everything that is pure and innocent and divine.” Its true, and I can see it more clearly than ever before just how alcohol does just that even it is not consumed in the body but within the same house.
Being brought up where alcohol was normal and every day and to be then saying no it doesn’t have to be this way, what a difference my life has been without it. I stopped drinking 10 years ago and it is the best thing that I ever did. What supported this, thanks to Universal Medicine modalities, was healing the hurts that I had carried around that I was trying to numb.
I can very much relate to anxiousness and the co-relationship it has with feeling safe. It’s important to understand and accept that emotions although they are not who we are, are in fact there to teach us. They present themselves to be healed as in essence we do not have any issues in our body.
Let’s face it… It’s a socially accepted poison that is like a toxic miasma spreading throughout our society.
Thanks in painting this picture. The effects of alcohol indeed go so much further than what we are willing to see. If we would, it can take living responsibly to another level. Thanks Jacqueline.
I’ve just been out for dinner for my birthday and not one person was drinking alcohol at my table and what I really clocked was the over stimulated people around me that were, everything was loud and there was a frantic feel to the room and with same area’s of the room it had more where people were having a lot of alcohol. I work in hospitality and it was again another reminder and confirmation of why I decide to stop in the first place. Walking to the toilet I felt super clear, steady, confident and still, the polar opposite to the room. I can look back and see the choice I have made and how if I hadn’t made them I would have been totally part of the chaos.
This is a very honest look at the many disturbances alcohol brings into our lives and we are very much fooling ourselves, and have for a long time, by seeing alcohol consumption as normal and by not pinpointing it to what it is. It is deeply harming, with many ripple effects as you so well describe here. It simply takes the joy out of life – and there we can see how insidious it is as we believe quite the opposite that with alcohol we can relax and enjoy life. How very fooled we are.
I would agree alcohol takes away your purity and innocence. On many occasions I was subjugated to imposing acts that I would never ever would have said yes to honouring the purity of the real me. It is evil and should be banned from our societies. Bring back responsibility and awareness to how you treat yourself effects everyone around you especially being a parent and how it efffects our children as Jacqueline exposes.
This topic is one that needs much more exploration. Alcohol and alcohol related abuse and diseases are well known, yet there is something within our society that says ‘don’t touch this or don’t expose this too much’. With all the issues with alcohol there is still such a strong investment in it and we need to question why.
To begin to acknowledge the damage alcohol brings to families means that we, as a humanity, will have to take responsibility for having been apart of causing the harm. As we do so, it is easy to choose to no longer partake in the consumption of it.
There is so much in this article that I can relate to. For along time emotional energy was my alcohol, as is shared here it kept me separate from my body and forever at the mercy of sadness, guilt, anger, frustration and everything in between. The anxiousness I lived with was what I thought was normal. But it isn’t, there is a steadiness and deep knowing that we all hold within and it is a continuing journey to explore more of my steadiness everyday.
The stark contrast in behaviours of when a person is under the influence of alcohol to when they are not is proof enough for me that this is something to be avoided yes, but that never should a person be rejected, so that there is always love for them to come back to.
In the disconnection of alcohol use that sense of wellbeing and what effect this choice will have on the body doesn’t even come into the picture as they are too focussed on celebrating, consoling, drowning and pushing down what they are feeling to really care, and the energy driving that choice, has a strong influence over them. Only when they are out of that hold back to some semblence of themselves is there space to reflect on their choice, but rarely do they look at what effect it has on others around them.
The effects of alcohol and other problematic behaviours on and in a household are untold. Whilst we might not be drinking / violent / taking drugs / abusing ourselves, and might even look like we’re coping, the true effects are untold. Everything effects everything and the multi-generational impacts are real, as this story amply illustrates.
The very idea that it is totally normal to go out on the town and get smashed by alcohol is telling us that we are way out of touch with ourselves. We are so far away from love that we can’t or won’t choose to feel these disrespectful and abusive choices we are making every day. We get stuck in old patterns and think this is us and that we can’t change but all we have to do is start to be more honest and huge things can happen.
Our patterns and issues can run deep and be passed on from generation to generation but at any time any one of us can choose to stop and correct those patterns and let go of any issues we carry to live our potential.
We all do know it when we see our parents drinking alcohol and how they start to change and become different people. So many times I would go to my room and pretend it wasn’t happening and praying for it to be over. But then it start to be something that I considered was normal as it continued and I didn’t really see that there was another way. This then continued into my adult life and by the time I reached 30 and with the support of Universal Medicine I realised that there was another way to live that was much more honouring of our bodies and loving. Best thing I have ever done is to make the choice so to see that deep down there were hurts that I was numbing.
Thank you Jacqueline what a wonderful truth in the livingness with alcohol , the ill that the use of alcohol a poison brings to the world where love could be .
Thank you for sharing the true extent of the damage caused to the whole family by alcohol abuse and how this plays out in lack of commitment to life by all concerned which has a huge impact on society. It is not just the messy impact of obvious drinking that affects us all it is the far wider ripple effects of all the associated behaviours and as you so rightly point out the addiction to the drama and the emotional turmoil that keeps so many imprisoned and often unable to function. There is much healing needed and it is only by exposing all aspects that we can start to address these issues.
We may not think we are damaging or hurting another by drinking alcohol if there is no obvious sign of it but from my experience when I was young and being around adults drinking; it was very disruptive and made me feel very unsafe at times.
It’s so true how deeply damaging alcohol is on us. If only society realised the effects of a so called ‘night out’. It is literally ruining us as a society, and yet something has us stuck in believing we deserve it.
Such a great testament as to how much alcohol truly effects not only the person having it but all those around them. It is something that has been accepted as normal but what we haven’t taken into consideration is the impact that it is having on our relationships.
Using my emotions was also my alcohol and it is not possible to say ‘oh, that is not the same’. It is and sometimes it was more poisonous through the way I used this to manipulate others and situations. I say this not to have a go at myself, as I no longer live this way, but to expose the great harm that we do when we are under the influence of anything other than our essence, our soul.
A very honest account about alcohol, exposing the poison that it truly is.
“Alcohol is an Evil and Poisonous Substance. Drinking alcohol has effects well beyond what we are often willing to consider or take responsibility for.” Yes put this next to the fact it is poisoning our body and accountable for a lot of physical abuse too and I wonder why we as humanity see drinking any amount of alcohol not as a problem because we should.
I did have a drinking problem, but at the time I thought the only person I was hurting was me with no idea about the energetic consequences I was having on my environment or on those around me. I am just over the moon that it has been ten years since I stopped drinking and that my daughter has never had the displeasure of seeing me drunk or even with a glass of alcohol in my hand.
To live in the ignorance and arrogance that my choices do not affect those around me and beyond is absurd… every choice I make has an impact in one way or another.
Thank you for this powerful message Jacqueline, on the damaging effects that alcohol has on our lives. Not only is it poison to our bodies but equally poisonous to our lives, and as you have shared we all do know the truth. When we only focus on our escaping or bettering the life we think we alone are living, we lose sight of all we are connected to and how whatever we choose and do has a great effect on all those around us, far and wide, and through time. When we bring focus to being honest with ourselves and how we are feeling, we then are able to realise the truth in our choices and feel the effects they have on our well-being and the quality we bring to those around us.
To stay in our body and be present with ourselves means to me that we give ourselves the opportunity to feel what is going on and the more present we are the more aware we become.
What is accepted in society, changes, fluctuates, and is so often not based on what is truly going to support us… let’s face it… doctors were smoking on television Not so long ago. But what we really really need is a deep and abiding connection with ourselves that enables us all to make choices based on true information rather than dis-information
“Anger is a destructive emotion.” Anger and alcohol can be equally harmful to the natural harmony of the body.
It is by no coincidence that some people become angry, aggressive and abusive to others after consuming alcohol… the total opposite to the energetic qualities of harmony and brotherhood that are naturally present in its true form in the liver.
It is wonderful how you have healed your hurts and embraced life, Jacqueline; I deeply appreciate what you have shared. Thank you for exposing the ripple effect of the impact of alcohol and the damage it causes individuals, families and societies.
This blog confirms alcohol is such a poison that it changes people and for that person it gives them the falsity of either ‘happiness’ (till the morning) or the opposite, in either cases they are not themselves.
All I can say is that I have been there done it and got the T shirt and never again. Reality is there the following day so the best thing is to face it.
That there are still conglomerates making untold profits out of manufacturing substances that cause such havoc harm and grief in our societies is surely an ongoing and sobering reflection that we must look within, as the ancient wisdom has always said , and understand that we are truly one, that this is ‘one life’ and that we have the opportunity as individuals to live a life that offers a reflection of evolution to all.
I too was a very anxious person and have been able to heal this by re-connecting with my body and learning to listen and honour what it says. Whenever I am not in my body I can feel the anxiousness wanting to creep back in. When I feel this I know that I need to take responsibility and come back to the body.
Wow Jacqueline, this really does prove that alcohol damages far more than the liver and the brain cells and can keep on causing havoc for generations unless the hurts caused by it are able to be truly looked at. It is like war really, it keeps on damaging for generations after the last bullet is fired. It is strange that such a substance that is so damaging both to the body and to society is widely accepted.
I haven’t had any alcohol for over 15 years now… I was never a heavy drinker, and yet it was definitely a part of my life. I cannot imagine now what would be like to hand myself over to something so insidious and destructive… So such honest and revealing articles as this are sorely needed, and in the education about children such blunt truths need to be told.